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November 27, 2025 12 mins
In this powerful holiday episode, Dr. John Oda reveals how to bring peace, harmony, and understanding back into your family dynamics—especially during the most emotionally charged time of the year. You’ll discover the exact rapport-building tools used in high-level leadership psychology and learn how to apply them with your loved ones, even the ones who trigger you the most.

Dr. Oda breaks down practical, easy-to-use techniques like pacing and leading, emotional mirroring, advanced rapport-building skills, and conflict diffusion strategies that work instantly. These tools will help you create a deeper connection, prevent arguments before they start, and turn the holidays into a time of joy, bonding, and genuine transformation.

Whether you're dealing with difficult relatives, sensitive conversations, or old emotional patterns, this episode gives you everything you need to navigate family gatherings with confidence, compassion, and leadership.

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Dr. John Oda is an International Best-Selling Author and Business Growth Strategist who has helped businesses uncover hidden millions by blending neuroscience and business mastery. Get a free chapter of his book *Unlimited Business Growth* plus $10,000 worth of online courses at https://ubgp.pnbcgroup.com/book. Connect with Dr. Oda on LinkedIn and discover more at DrJohnOda.com

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Doctor John Oda Method, where neal sciences
meet business mastery.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Hi, I'm your host.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
I'm not to John Odoll, international best star on author
Business Growth Strategists.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
In each episode album gonna.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
Rebuild strategies and frameworks to break through to help you
uncover hidden millions, leadership, communication, mental barriers.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Whatever it takes. Today, guys gonna be a special one.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
It's gonna be how to deal with family members and
people during Thanksgiving time.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
This is a ex huge one, So.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
This episode add value to you. Can you please subscribe?
Give me seven stars? I know it's five, but seven
is great as well. I want to help as many
entrepreneurs as possible, So don't forget to download my free
chapter of my international best star author book, Unlimited Business Growth,
and you get ten thousand dollars of online courses. You

(00:55):
can do it at doctor Joda dot com or you
can get a link right by the podcast. Got I'm
pretty excited today. Now let me explain to you why
I am such an expert in this subject about Thanksgiving time.
As you guys realized, I come from a family of
a ten. I'm eight of ten and I have thirty
eight years of the mental health film slash Neurosciences when

(01:18):
I used to work in him so Holmes for we
still we should talk about this cause this was one
of the hardest times for people to go home and
to beer on family.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
And to talk to family. Right.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
So what I decided to do is which I do
a lot of times when I go like do like
a a TikTok or do the Instagram, I know me
do something live. I had an epiphany today to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Why for Thanksgiving time? That's why I'm here today. So
here it goes.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
There's a lot of people who don't like to go
home or Thanksgiving cause you got family and friends or
family who bring up disagreements or or or.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Stuff or just a brain or to half chaos.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
So I'm gonna give you a trick that I use.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
As I said, I love my siblings the of the greatest.
I got some siblings that I can only be around
less thann hour, right, And I look at all ten
of them, or who's all gonna be at the Thanksgiving dinner?
And I look who's gonna be there? Said, who can I.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Be around for an hour? And I write down about
four or five of them?

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Right, beautiful, And I said, okay, who can I be
around for a half a day, then a four day,
and then more than two days.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
So here's what I do.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
The people I can only be around for just one hour.
I give him a hug, I give him a kiss
and re leaef. Why let me explain. You worry if
I stay around them, we're gonna fight, We're gonna argue.
This is Thanksgiving time. This will be thankful. This will
be thankful for these people if you'd be grateful for them.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Right.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
So what I learned in my career was to have
people that I can stay around.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
Some of my simmers. I can stay around all them day, two, three,
four days.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
I'm good some of them, Oh my goodness, there's some
family members. Jesus merly. Just if I can't. But then
here's what I do. Right, I'm gonna give you a
quick tip. There's how to gain you rapport with people
if you don't know you like 'em. Right, So here
it goes. There's three ways of gain as real is
is rapport with anybody. My think about it is building

(03:09):
a relationship is huge, you know. So if I want
to say eight, here's why I write is ta If
I'd say, go to the mall and introduce yourself to
three people, what would you do? Other people would go up,
there's high money, hi mon, name is John or high
moname is sex y and Z and they'll just talk
to 'em. Right, That's pretty much what goods would do
the introduction. So here's the here's a cool thing about it.

(03:30):
If I'd say few ways to l T three times,
I would actually define something in common with that person.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
So let me break it down.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
There's only three ways to connect with the person. For
the first one, to write this down, the words they use.
The words they use equal seven percent. So if it's
consciously or unconsciously, you only connected to seven percent of
the time.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
That's it.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
So if people say how you doing, what's your favorite
basketball team? Say Chicago Bus cause something from the area
or Los Angeles Slinkers cause I live around there and
they're from that. They're like Detroit. We're not a report
right then. The second way is tone temple tonality. If
they speak when I talk fast like this, we're not
going to connect. Right. And last but not least, physiology,

(04:17):
the way they move their body, the way they smile.
Right that because five percent. So what what I do
is I entered a person world. I connect with them.
I enter in their world. So when I enter the
world is completely different. Now when I enter the world,
they like me. They they say, oh my god, d

(04:38):
need these guys just like me. I use the same
words that they use all the time. If they have
a potty mouth, I have a potty mouth as well. Right,
I use the same tone, templeye, do the same physiology. Right,
I'm gonna give you guys an events course, but they
want to do guys, who's beautiful? Right? Have you ever
had a relative for just like fighting and they argue

(05:01):
all the time? Right?

Speaker 2 (05:02):
If I would say I can show you how to
never argue again? What would you say? What you say?

Speaker 1 (05:07):
I'm a genius one probably so you're probably saying I'm crazy?

Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
So let me share with you what we call this
is Evante report button skills of how to never argue again?
The first thing of that of that, have you ever
question how many of you guys are married or in
a relationship.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
Wherever significant other? That's new word?

Speaker 1 (05:29):
Right?

Speaker 2 (05:29):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (05:29):
Cool?

Speaker 2 (05:30):
A lot of you guys?

Speaker 1 (05:31):
Right? And how but if your loved ones say I
love you.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
But how does that make you feel? Now?

Speaker 1 (05:40):
And if it makes your defensive, ready to fight them,
ready to do whatever it takes.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
But what you get defensive? Right?

Speaker 1 (05:46):
But if you're the same person that say hey, I
love you, and you would say and what right, it'd
be more of a comfort okay and what okay?

Speaker 2 (05:58):
Cool?

Speaker 1 (05:58):
Right?

Speaker 2 (06:00):
So here's what we do.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
We use these three phrases, I love you, and I
appreciate you, I agree.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
And I respect. Now these people are having a disagreement.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
They could be about political A lot of people about
political or whatever, right and whatever they said, just say, you.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
Know, John and I we're having a disagreement.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
They say I believe in abortion, and I would say,
you know what, I can respect your opinion. And I
feel I didn't say be passive aggressive. I didn't say
it be aggressive, I feel be a search of now
I feel X, Y and Z. Now these people are
going to hear you say I respect, wow, I appreciate

(06:47):
or I agree. How many people when they're having a disagreement,
they're going to respect you, appreciate you, or agree with you. Right,
So when I go back home, listen, you had to
go back home to me, going back to the Midwest.
If it's after November twenty third, I don't go back
home because after the twenty third that's when we get

(07:08):
snowtorms and turn and get all those bullets and stuff.
And I've been to California for twelve years. I'm a
little bit I don't do snow anymore. So if you
use these agreement phrase with your family member, they can't
argue with you.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
And I have a question for you.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
How would that be going back home and they can't
even argue with you.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
It'd be a beautiful thing.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
Right, And that's my biggest goal part it and my podcast.
I want to teach you guys some tools and strategies.
If you guys use them over and over and again,
you get better.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
And if you guys want to.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
Get some help with this stuff right. It could not
be it could be your coworkers, It could be whatever
it takes places. As you guys know, I do speaking right,
I do training a lot and then and then one
go it's a girl company.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
It could be the sales, it could be the culture.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
It could be it could be the symptoms of a
business right and what I call a business right. So
I want you guys imagine this. Imagine a garden. Just
imagine your garden is a business, right, and when you
when you have a garden, is you plant your seed
and of course your business grow. We're on the same page, right,
You water it, you fertilize it, you do whatever it takes. Right,

(08:17):
But what happened when you have weeds come up?

Speaker 2 (08:22):
And the weeds to me in business is leadership.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
Or it is the culture of the business, right, or
it's teamwork, or it's mental health. And because they don't
deal with it, and if you don't deal with this
stuff at your business is going to kill your business.
A lot of people say, I want to scale, I
want to scale, I want to scale, which is fine,
but you got to get the weeds out. You have

(08:50):
to deal with the weeds. Right when I when I
my dad had a garden when I was a kid, right,
we had to put line on the weeds, you know,
to kill the weeds and everything else. Because even when
you put the I'm on it, guess what happened? The
weeds come back again. Right, So the same thing comes back.
So you need to figure.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
Out how to get rid of the weeds so you
can actually go to your business or what I say,
your guarden. Right.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
So the reason why I come up with the symptoms
part is that sometimes when you're in business, you want
to scale that business and go the business, but you
forget about the symptoms or what I call the weeds
that's inside your business. So anyway, I hope this tip work.
I hope because I want you to have a happy Thanksgiving.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
And here goes.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
I am so thankful that you guys took some time.
You guys listen to my podcast.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
I appreciate you guys.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
Thank you so much, and I will be back on
what I'm doing right now, Guys. I'm working on a planner.
It's a business planner. It's off the freaking chain.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
What I did was this.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
Planner, right, I wanted to have a light It's really
a business life a business planner, but a life planner
as well. Work on every area of of your life
as well. Right, But the concept of this planner is
so cool. Right, I mix a couple of things together.
I mix all a miss minimum one. I have it
more of the garden principles that we just mentioned just recently. Right,

(10:14):
I do neurosciences, how to rewire your brain, the whole
nine yards right. And I also do faith based spirituality
part and I don't really care if you're Buddha or
Jehovah or Muslim, doesn't make a difference. If you can
follow the system and follow what's taking place, that's that's
the key. I don't want to make this religion, so

(10:35):
it's more of a higher power, infinite intelligence.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
Now I call it mine God, right, what about you
guys call it yours?

Speaker 1 (10:41):
That's fine, But here goes the life. The Business Life
Planner is off the hook.

Speaker 2 (10:48):
It's literally off took.

Speaker 1 (10:49):
The cool thing about it is that to be probably
around Christmas times, about maybe three fifty to four hundred pages, right,
But it teaches you these skills and these strategies about
how to get your business go from the faster.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
And that's the biggest goal about it. Right.

Speaker 1 (11:03):
What I only was was I was going to the gym, right,
and I see these guys look amazing, six pack, big
old shoulders. But when I keep on talking to them,
their life is messed up, their relationships messed up, their
business is messed up.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
Right.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
My number one goal was to not just work on
your business, but but now to work on other areas
uh of your life, like your relationships right, you know,
and if you have a what it could be your
career as you your motion, your health, those other areas
that we only focus on the business and not it.
So anyway, that's my biggest goal about it. I'm pretty

(11:38):
jazzed about that. You guys are gonna go further faster.
Uh click down there, schedule a phone call.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
We can talk. I would love to do that cause
so that's.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
Why I do for a limit anyway, But anyway, until
the next time, but do me a family, guys, And
here's what I'm.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
Gonna leave you with. I thank you, I love you,
and I appreciate you, and I.

Speaker 1 (11:58):
Don't wanna wish you and yours happy things given, and
I n and and and and let me know if
my tips have helped you might have to leave l L
listen to it a couple of times, but let you
but let me know and have a phenomenal thing that's given.
It's wil next time, guys, take care and buy for now.
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