October 10, 2025 • 51 mins
Special episode to discuss mental health and trying to improve things in someone’s life. I’m no professional but I needed to express the importance of helping one another.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Told you your own up. No, you told Gione all right, you.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Told your own our stroke and no tuttle bugs.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Fine, you need to Geni on our work. You told
Geni on.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Allop You to Giona happier.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Food never be No.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Shame is a liar. You take your breath, stop you
in your steps. Shame is a liar. You rob yourst
(00:52):
still your happy.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
N scust And that's my.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Welcome to a special fan Pole Sports episode.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I am your host, Ronnie Langford.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
It's been uh very interesting last few weeks. As many
of you know, tragically my cousin Michael passed away.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
First of all, I want to say thank.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
You to all of you that reached out, have checked
on me, supported me, UH sent prayers.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
You know, have have uplifted me.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Because you know this this has been pretty difficult for me.
You know, I've told my loved ones that this this
one hurts probably as as much as when my parents
passed away. UH differ different circumstances, but nonetheless, the sting,
(02:15):
the pain, the sadness, even even a bit of despair
UH set in. And you know it's been it's been
a journey over.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
The last few weeks.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
To be able to express myself and do it in
such a way where I'm not breaking down, and you know,
please don't don't be surprised if at some point you
you can tell that my voice changes and that tears
are flowing and things like that happen, because they probably will.
But I felt it as important to express myself on
(02:53):
this platform today. I'm not sure that many of you
are aware, but today is World Mental Health Awareness Day.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Why is that important?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Well, my cousin was suffering from some sort of mental
breakdown and it caused a variety of events to happen,
and it was it's it's a it's a sobering reality
that we don't know what the other person next to
(03:31):
us is going through and sometimes saying I'm here, sometimes
putting a handout, sometimes trying to help, isn't enough.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
And it this.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Just led to to this incident and and it was
it's awful. It's awful on a lot of a lot
of different uh scales and stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
You know, when we talk about mental health a lot
of times, especially guys from my generation and a little
bit older, you know, we talk about how weak minded
people are and how you're soft and you know, you know,
thenni's Ghana's you don't have whales, and you know you
gotta be chan gone and all this other stuff, and
(04:20):
you know that's that's not true. That's not none of
that is true, because what we've come to find is
that mental health is a serious, serious thing that everyone
suffers through at some point.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
In their life.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Now, don't get me wrong, some people can handle things
better than others, and that's always been the case in history.
That's not just something today or a few years ago.
But it doesn't mean that you know, they're perfect. It
doesn't mean that you know, oh, they're the strongest person
you've ever met. No, it just means that they've they
(04:58):
have a grasp and understanding of how to deal with
different events that change their everyday lives and change moments
compared to what they had been and what they were.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
And you know, we need to do a better.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Job as a society, as a community, as families, as friends,
co workers, like all of it, all of it intertwines together.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
You know, we have a true mental health crisis in
this world.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
There is not one part of this world that doesn't
have some sort of mental crisis at hand. Okay, because
whether you're worried about finances, whether you're worried about someone
who's sick or yourself that's sick, whether you're worried about
your children, whether you're worried about your grandchildren, where they're
worried about, you know, jobs.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
I mean, there's just there's a variety of things.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Across the board that people people struggle with and people
worry about, and a lot of times we're not sure
how to handle that because.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
We feel hopeless, We feel a.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Sense of anxiety, constantly and excessively worrying about stuff, you know,
things in our life. A lot of times let us
feel empty. You know, you look at people who you think, oh, man,
they have everything, But unless you talk to them, unless
you get with them, unless you understand what happens in
(06:34):
their everyday life, they may not have everything. They may
be reaching searching, hoping for something more to fulfill them.
The stuff that you see is the mask that they wear.
And we all wear masks.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
We all do.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
We try to get through something, We try to push
through and persevere and sometimes it doesn't happen. And then
you know, you have people that will ask you, hey,
what's wrong here? You will hey, you know whatever, and
then you get irritable. You get irritated by that because
it's too much, right, Like, I don't need your help
every second of the day. I don't need you right
(07:11):
there with me every second of the day. I just
need you there when I need you. And sometimes people
get turned off by that because I'm.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Just trying to help you.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Well, now you've made it worse because you've irritated the
other person, and now they have another worry because, oh, well,
I've upset this person who's trying to help me, but
they can't understand what it is that.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I'm going through.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
A lot of times, you feel numb, you feel detached
from emotions, and that's it's human nature, you know. But
we were never intended to do life alone. I know,
it's real easy to think I can handle this. You know,
(07:58):
it's not a big deal. I got it to the
Bible that the intentions of God were never for us
to be alone. I mean that there's a reason why
he created Eve in the garden because he saw that Adam.
Although Adam was connected with all that was in the garden,
God understood that he needed a partner.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
He needed someone.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
By his side to help him navigate whatever life was ahead.
And in Hebrews chapter ten, twenty three twenty five, it says,
let us hold fast the confession of hope without wavering,
for he promised is for what he promised, and who
he promised is faithful.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
And let us.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Consider how to start up one another to love and
good works, not neglecting to meet together as it is
a habit of some, but encouraging one another.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
And all the more as you see the day drawing near.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
So when we talk about being there, and we talk
about helping one another and getting through some of these
things that life throws as throws at us, we need
to understand that we're intended to do that together, but
in such a way that you're uplifting, that you're creating
(09:22):
an atmosphere and in an environment that is drawing each
other to one another in a positive way, in such
a way that things will improve in one area of
each person's life. You know, like I said, I mean
guys my age, you know, the fifty something crowd, maybe
(09:45):
even the late forty something crowds. You know, we were
the last of these generations that you know, we had
the dad's, the grandpas, the uncles, the camaradas, the Carnales
like all these like different types of people in our
culture that we were supposed to look up to, and
(10:05):
we were supposed to be tough like right, like we
were supposed to be Chinon's in a lot of people's
eyes and what did that mean?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
I mean?
Speaker 1 (10:13):
And and a lot of times it was just what
we saw, right.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Like, oh man, he's a badass and he can do this,
and he can do that, and he takes this on
and he takes that on. But we're never sure, we're
never quite sure of what one of those men may
have been struggling with. One of those men was dealing
with because they didn't talk about their feelings. They didn't
(10:38):
talk about you know, if they were hurt, or if
they were sad, or if they were upset, like in
certain life events happened, then you could tell, like.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
What their emotion was.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
But on their everyday life, their every day going about
who they were and what they did and who they
were around, you never saw that. And we don't we
don't know how much stress and worry they're carried with
them because their mindsets were such that I can't show weakness.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
You know, there's the old what is it? Right? Guard?
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Commercial, never let them see you sweat, and like that's
the mindset, right, Like that's that's the way it's.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Supposed to be.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
We're not supposed to be sweating in times of anxiety.
We're not supposed to be sweating in times of worry
and stress. We're not supposed to be sweating in times
of mourning and you know, feeling like hopeless because something
tragic happened.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Right, We're supposed to be the face, We're supposed to be.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
The calming, you know, reason that everyone else is under control,
because oh, hey, look at Dad, look at look at Deal,
look at you know, Grandpa, Welo. You know, like look
at these people, and like they're not showing emotion. They're
they're they're they're cool, they're tough, they're you know, and
and again there's respect, respect for those things, and for
(11:59):
them to be would have controlled their emotions the way
that they do.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
But it wasn't always a good thing.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
It wasn't always something that should have been done.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
You know.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
In the case of the case of my cousin, you know,
he he was such a goof, He was such a goof,
you know, smile on his face most of the time,
and those of you that that knew him, and those
of you that were around him. You know, it was
(12:30):
a constant, just ray of sunshine. But as we got
older and we got into adulthood and things started to
change in some ways, that smile, you know, would would
not be as frequent. That smile would would be there
(12:53):
only in a moment in comparison to what it had been.
And you know, our last, our last interaction like face
to face together was such a tremendous day and and
I'll never forget. I'll never forget that day, you know.
And I got to spend time with him and my
(13:15):
good friend Mark. Uh.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
You know, shout out.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
To Mark for for holding it down, for being there
for me, for for listening to me, for offering guidance,
fellowship and grace during this time. You know, love you,
my friend, Thank you, Thank you for for being there.
But we got to have lunch together. And it's it's
(13:41):
been about.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
A year now, I guess.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
And you know, I forgot that him and Mark had
worked together on the Riverwalk.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Maybe not at the same locations all the time.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
But you know, they were around the same areas and
they'd bump into each other all the time, and they'd
hang out here and there, and Mark with me.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
He saw Mike.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Micha would tell me he saw Mark, and you know,
I'd laugh, you know because some of the stuff that
they would tell me, Well, we get together for lunch
and these guys pick up like it was yesterday. And
to sit back and watch them interact, and to sit
back and to listen to the stories and the things
(14:21):
that they were discussing and the things that they were doing.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I mean, it was it was such a wonderful moment.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
It was such a wonderful time, and it was something
that I'll cherish for the rest of my life because
I got to see a glimpse of the true person
that my cousin was in that two hour period or
so that we were together. And it's those types of
(14:48):
things that I'll remember about him. It's those memories that
I'll remember. I posted pictures and you know, some a
few stories here and there on some of my social
media platforms talking about him, and it's just it's hilarious.
It's hilarious some of the stories and some of the
things that I think about. You know, right now, we're
in the middle of baseball playoffs. The Dodgers were his
(15:15):
team to this day, because you know, growing up, we'd
go see the Dodgers at VJ. Keyfield there at Saint
Mary's University with my dad and my uncle Dan, and
you know, we'd run around like a bunch of knuckleheads
because they had video games on the one side of
the stadium, and you know, it would kind of frustrate
(15:38):
my dad and my uncle because they brought us to
the game and watch the game, and we wouldn't watch
the game.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
We'd go play video games and stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
But you know, there were so many great memories of
us doing that, going camping, and and you know, took
a couple of different family vacations.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
With him and my aunt and my.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Uncle, my cousins, and so just just a variety of
things that I'll always hold on to, always cherish, I'll
always remember, you know, I can't forget when he was,
you know, in his body builder phase. He he got
the crew cut, you know, the the the square top,
and then he'd walk around with these little tank tops
(16:19):
on and he'd cut the sleeves down a little bit
more and then he would tie him and he'd have
these like little spaghetti strap tank tops and stuff. And
I'd always laugh because first of all, I can't pull
off a tank top. I mean not even to this day.
I have one that I wear around the house, but
I wear that around the house. I don't wear that
in public. So I I could never pull off a
(16:40):
tank top. But but he could. I mean, as goofy
as it looked, as silly as it was, he could
pull off a tank top, and and he did. And
you know, just him walking around and acting a fool
because he thought he was the coolest guy with these
stupid tank tops and and goofy haircuts, so to speak.
(17:00):
But that's that's who he was. And when he started
to struggle, you know, various things happened in his life
that caused those struggles. Various things happened in his life
that were some of them were probably traumatic, and some
(17:21):
of them were probably things that we didn't realize were
affecting him as much as they did. And you know,
it's hard, it's hard to really gauge what someone is
going through when they don't want to talk, or they
don't want to say, or they don't want to be
fully transparent or open about what's going on, just simply
(17:42):
because you know, the mentality of I got it, I
got it, I'm gonna figure it out.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
You know, we have to get better.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
We have to get better as a as a society,
as a culture, as a family, because we can't. We
can't figure it out alone. We can't do it by ourselves.
And too often that's the mentality that we have, and
that's what gets us in trouble. That's what gets us
(18:14):
to the point where the darkness feels like it's overcoming
the light.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
It's not.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
There's light. There's light there. You just have to continue
to strive to try to reach it.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
You know. I've been very fortunate in my life that
I've had.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
A tremendous support system around me, from my grandparents to
members of my family, my siblings at times, and friends
that helped me get through some of the toughest and
darkest times in my life. I've been depressed, I've been anxious,
(18:58):
I've been everything, just like everyone else, you know, but
that foundation of people helped me because they offered me grace,
they offered me hope, they offered me things that they
(19:18):
knew I needed to have to get through whatever I
was going through. The most important thing that they did
for me and with me is they prayed.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Faith. My faith will always be something that I'm very
proud of.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
My faith is always going to be something that I'm
going to proclaim, no matter how I say it or
what I say. Some people may not agree with the
way that I go about it. Some people may not
understand why I talk about it the.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Way that I do.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Some people may not agree with it because that's not
the way that they've seen it, or they understand it
in the church that they've gone to.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
And that's fine.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
And you know, if you're going to church, you have
a church, you're involved in your church, you have a
relationship with God. You've built that foundation of faith in
your life. I encourage you to continue to expand that relationship,
but don't try to tear down someone else because it's
(20:26):
not your faith, it's not your understanding, see, because that's
where the problems lie. I'm the first one to admit
I've been a bully in my life at times.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
I've been a jerk.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
I've been an ass, I've been everything that you could imagine,
good and bad. Okay, I'm not gonna sugarcoat any of
that because all of those things are true and a
lot of ways. Those things have molded me in different
ways at different times, and it's one of those things
(21:05):
that the realities of life have forced me to understand
and grasp because that's what it's been, that's who I've been.
But my intentions, although I'll say we're not intended.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
To hurt people, don't.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Mean anything because my actions and my words may have
said or caused a reaction to happen differently. And when
we talk about people's mental health and people's mental strength,
you know, I've been a bad person at times because
(21:50):
I've talked about stuff like pressure, virgins and mental midgets
and a lot of those times and I know this
is this is going to sound like I'm trying to
justify those words and things. But a lot of those times,
those statements, those words, those tags were meant because someone
(22:13):
failed in the moment on a task that you know
they should have been able to handle. Right, It wasn't life,
It wasn't life that I was just calling them that
it was the work or the moment that we were
in on a game or whatever. The flip side to
(22:34):
that is I never asked are you okay? What are
you going through right now that you need help with
what is happening that I can help to improve with
you or for you.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I just called.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Them pressure virgins, or I just called them mental midgets,
not realizing what these people had gone through, or that
what they were going through now the obvious things that
I knew were happening in their lives that stayed away
from those things, I didn't I didn't press it.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
But when life seemed to.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Be good and things seemed to be okay, and everybody
was having a good time, and they failed in their
tasks and they they didn't quite live up to the
expectation that you know, they they liked to talk about
or that we felt like they should have, then yeah,
that's when I would go in and I would say things,
and whatever would happen would happen. It should have never
(23:35):
been that way, you know, because I consider and talk
about my faith. But then I'm telling you that I'm
a bully. But which one are you? Which one are you?
Speaker 1 (23:47):
You know?
Speaker 3 (23:48):
And and it's it's part of this mental process to
understand what it is that's going on in my head
and then what it is that I wanted to portray
that'sy and the message that I want to deliver. And
so when we talk about mental health, when we talk
about the struggles that people have, it's important for people
(24:12):
to realize the damage that they've done and then do
what they can to fix that damage. You know, there's
some damage that you may never get to fix because
you may never see certain people again. So the direct
fix may not get taken care of. But how you
(24:34):
treat others, how you relate to others, how you help others,
how you do what you can to lift them up
and not tear them down, that's just as important, and
that improvement has to be there. And I think sometimes,
you know, my cousin felt like there was too much
(24:57):
being torn down in his life life and around his life,
and his despair became such that, you know, he was
in this crisis, and the crisis turned to survival mode
and he wasn't exactly sure how to get out of it.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
So, yeah, it's it's it's heartbreaking.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Like I said earlier, like this one hurts as much,
if not more than some of the other tragedies that
have occurred in my life, some of the other losses
that I've had in my life. But I'm I want
to take the steps I want to take the opportunities.
I want to take the time to, you know, express
(25:45):
these thoughts and these feelings, and maybe this will help
someone else, Maybe this will improve someone else's life to
hear that you're enough to let you know that I
care about you, to let you know that I'm here
for you, morning, noon, or night. And there have been
(26:08):
some in my life that I've said that too, and
they've tested that theory. And hey, guess what, Ron was there,
And holy cow, you know, I can't believe he answered
the phone, or I can't believe he replied to my message.
And so I want to do what I can to
help not only my own mental state, because the more
(26:30):
that I feel like the more that I can I
can bring positive into my life, that I can reflect
that positivity to other people's lives and maybe give them outlets,
or maybe give them resources, or maybe steer them in
a certain direction. That's going to help. You know, how
(26:51):
how do you improve your mental health? What do you
do to get better mentally and stronger? Well, some of
the things that are you know, is exercise regularly. I know,
old fat guys like me, it's a struggle to exercise
on a regular basis I'll make every excuse not to
get out there, or I'll do just enough to say
(27:14):
that I exercised, but it needs to be better, it
needs to be more. So regular exercise is probably one
of the better things you can do because you're relieving tension,
you're relieving feelings. There's things that are exiting your body,
so to speak. And then you begin to see the
progress as you exercise, whether it's weight loss or gaining
(27:36):
muscle or strength, you know, endurance like cardio and things
like that.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Like once you begin to see.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
Those improvements and you see those things coming together, a
lot of times, that starts to make us feel better
and we can get through some of these things.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Eating a balanced diet. Again, I know this world is chaotic.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
It's fast, it moves, and a lot of times we're
we're not at.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Home making home cooked meals.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Things are expensive, so we're not buying you know, the
little more high end you know, fish or steak or
chicken or whatever. We're buying whatever we can afford, and
we're just throwing something together or we're just saying, you
know what, I got extra money in my pocket, I'm
gonna stop at Waterburger McDonald's sonic, whatever the case may be,
(28:29):
and pick up something, and then of course eating at
all hours of the day and night.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
You know, we're not regimented.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
A lot of times we kind of stick to Okay,
I have breakfast at this time, I have lunch at
this time, I have dinner at this time. But a
lot of times it's not regimented. Where Okay, at eight o'clock,
I'm having breakfast and this is what I'm gonna have.
And then at you know, twelve thirty, I'm gonna have lunch,
and this is what I'm gonna have, and then at
six o'clock, this is what we're doing for dinner.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
So getting a well bound diet.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
And eating fruits and vegetables, I mean, I'll be the
first one to admit, growing up, I did not eat
a lot of fruits and vegetables the way that I
stuck to certain fruits. I didn't have a variety of
fruits that I would go to. And then vegetables. I
did everything I could to avoid vegetables. I mean, unless
you could hide it in the food itself, I wasn't
(29:23):
gonna put vegetables on my plate a lot of times.
But as I've gotten older, I understand the importance of that,
and having those things in my diet will help improve
a variety of things, prioritizing sleep.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
You know, we know.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
There's statistics out there that talk about average sleep for
adults is probably about five and a half hours, and
a lot of you don't probably get that because you're
tossing and turning.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
You can't turn your mind off. You can't shut it down,
so to speak.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
So you get anxious, you start thinking about the next day,
You start worrying about what happened, what you couldn't accomplish,
what you didn't accomplish, and so you can't ever shut
your mind off. It's important and vital that you shut
your mind off, and you need to try your best
to try to get to six hours of sleep, then
(30:25):
six and a half hours of sleep, and seven hours
of sleep.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
And I know it sounds impossible. I know it does.
I know it does, but it is possible. Believe me.
It is.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Prayer, meditation, exercise, like all of those things come together
and then they allow your body to relax them They
allow your body to.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Just push out the negative.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
And then your mind is able to begin to think
about the positive, and then that will help your body,
your soul, everything about it to calm down and then
hopefully be able to get into your bed. And you know,
having having a good pillow that that's important. You know,
a lot of us sleep on the same mattress for ever. Uh,
(31:12):
so you know, changing out the mattress or flipping the mattress,
all of those things factor.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
In to a good night's rest.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
And you know, getting enough freat And I will be
the first to admit, I will advocate for a nap,
give me a give me a good quiet time and
an and and one of my one of my blankets,
and I can take a nap.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
You know, I c I'll shut it down.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
I I I try not to nap as much as
I used to because sometimes I fall asleep too long
in a nap and then I struggle to fall asleep
at night.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
So you know, you have to be careful on.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
How you balance that, you know, cultivating positive connections. You know,
I'm going to get together with a lot of my
friends this weekend, and I'm gonna get together with some
of my family this weekend.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
And it's intentional. It's intentional because.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
I need to be in their presence just like they
need me to be in their presence, and we need
to build that foundation and solidify.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Things around us and people around us.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
You know, yesterday I was pretty upset because something happened
and I posted something on Facebook and I dropped dropped
the F bomb, and you know, I was like, and
before anybody says anything and old Ronnie your language, I
was like, don't don't do it, leave me alone, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
And it was funny.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
I uh, as stressful as the moment was and as
upset as I was at the time when I started
seeing the comments. And what was funny was that my
good friend, you know, Bob Martinez, the best DJ.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
In the business. Uh, you know, He's like, who do
we have to jump?
Speaker 3 (32:56):
I'll know, I'll get the guys. We'll we'll get out there,
We'll jump 'em, you know, and I'm laughing. And then
of course my good friend Scott, you know, it's Scott Scott.
Scott Scott is truly a special a special friend and
a great guy. And he says, uh, he posts a
(33:16):
picture of the Get Along Gang cartoon, you know, and
I'm I'm laughing, I'm cracking up because I'm looking at that.
And then of course, my my longtime good friend. You know,
I joke with her to this day about how she
used to be one of my bullies when I was
growing up, and and I think a lot of it
was just the fact that she was such a great athlete.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
And then as we got.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Older, you know, there was there was that, you know,
have a crush on one another type of thing that
you do as guys, and you got to mess with
girls in that way. But it was funny because you know,
my good friend Tina.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Uncle said she she she says.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Hey, homie, I got you, I got you back, you know,
And it really if I if I was ever in
a fight. I mean, to this day, if I was
ever in a fight and I needed backup and I said, hey, Tena,
I need you there to help me out, I guarantee
you that woman.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Would show up ready to fight everybody. And so to.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
See that, you know, even in my one of my
most frustrating moments, to see the support that I had,
and then other people commenting and other people, you know,
saying things, it meant a lot because it showed me
that I do have a community of friends and family
that are supporting me, friends and family that do have
(34:40):
my back. Friends and family who do understand that it's
okay to be frustrated and it's okay to express yourself
and we're going to help you get through it. You know,
I cannot thank my wife Lauren enough, because you know,
(35:01):
she's she's been through.
Speaker 4 (35:03):
Some of the most tragic moments of my life, as
far as like losing friends and loved ones at various
stages of my life since we've been together, and then
she's been there to share.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
With some of the most joyous moments of my life.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
And she's done everything with such grace and everything with
such mercy that, like I think to myself, I don't
know that I could have gotten through some of those
things without her, And you know I don't. I don't
say it enough, and I'm trying to get better at
(35:48):
I'm trying to express myself better to her about it.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
But I'm thankful.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
I am thankful for her and her support and her
love and for her desire to make me a better person,
to make me a better man.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Because, believe me when I tell you my walk with faith.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
Although I grew up in the church, I went to
church on a regular basis. I did various things in church,
growing up and into my early adulthood. My true jump
into faith came from her because she was the one
(36:30):
who said, hey, we need to be doing this, we
need to go here.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
You know, we need to do these things. And I
mean again, I cannot thank her enough for that.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
So yeah, connecting with others and having the right foundation
and people in your life will help to improve your
mental health. Giving to others, engaging and acts of kindness.
I try every morning when I come to work to
you know, say good morning to everyone, check on everybody
on the floor, make sure their day is good, and
(37:05):
you know, and I've always been that way.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
I've always been that way.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
I've always tried to be the person that's that's gonna offer,
you know, a word of encouragement to start the day.
And it's important to have that because again, you don't
know what someone's going through. You don't know what kind
of phone call that that person got before they came
to work or they got overnight. Just like when I
(37:28):
was going through out I was going through a few
weeks ago. You know, these guys, you know, they paid
it forward. You know, they were supportive, they checked on me.
You know, they they've they've listened they've seen me cry,
We've we've been in meetings. I've talked about mental health
and physical health with them.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Fatigue.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Fatigue is huge, right, Like mental fatigue is as bad,
if not worse than than physical fatigue because your mind
is controlling everything that's going on, so then your body
is following suit. So if you're not strong men mentally,
your body's going to break down.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
It's going to be weak. And I've talked to them
about those things.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
Because of the conditions that we work in, the the
open air facility that we have here at my job,
it becomes one of those things where they have to
understand that, you know, it's okay to take a second,
gather yourself, cool down, hydrate, whatever the whatever the case
(38:26):
may be, right, and so it's it's important for them
to know that. So when you're giving those types of
messages and you're interacting in that way where you're giving
something of yourself to someone else, that's important.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Uh to to to to.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
Build mental health and mental strength being a part of
a community.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
You know, when I started.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
This podcast, obviously part of it was because I was
tired of the talking heads on the networks and them
giving their bs to on certain players or certain teams,
and it was a love fest for this guy and
it was this.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Team can do no wrong.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
And I just got tired of that because I was like,
you know what you need you need to hear it
on his voice. Sometimes you need to hear somebody saying
this is my team. But they sucked right. And so
that was the whole point of this podcast. And I've
reached out to various friends and various people to get
people on the show so we can have different viewpoints,
we can talk about different things and and do different breakdowns.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
But as it's gone on, it really is an outlet for.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Me because even though most of these episodes are on
on a video chat, it's.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Just it's meant the world to me because it gives
me a chance.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
To break away from all the other stuff in life.
And whether it's an hour, whether it's two hours, whether
we do one episode or we do five episodes, it
just it gives me time away from everything else and
be joined with people like minded people that are you know,
(40:09):
having a good time and cracking jokes and you know,
being silly and offering their opinion on stuff.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
And I know a lot of times, you.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Know, you hear stuff from guys like me that we've
never been professional athletes, we never played ball in college.
You know, why do we have an opinion? Why should we?
Why should people listen to us? And like, there's all
of those things that I get it right, but it
doesn't matter because I'm having fun. I'm having a blast,
you know, sitting there talking to the guys bs and
(40:37):
having a good time being silly, Like those are the
things that I enjoyed.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Those are the things that mean the most to me.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
So being a part of a community like that is
vital to improving you know, your mental health, your physical
health as well. You know, there's there's so many different
things practicing gratitude. Gratitude is a big thing that we
should all practice. There's always something that we should be
grateful for.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
And and those of you.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
That are my age, maybe a little younger, maybe a
little older, that are now.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
Grandparents, like that in itself right there.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
If your if your grandchild is healthy, your grandchild is good,
your grandchild has you know, loving carrying people around them
and they're they're molding these little young lives into something special,
something beautiful, something wonderful, then you should be grateful for that,
because those things only happen if you've done that in
(41:35):
people's lives. And so when when you when when you
see me posting about Sloan and Effett and I see
you guys posting about your grandkids and how excited you are.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
About them and how much you love them and how
much they.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
Mean to you, like that brings me such joy because
I know exactly what you're feeling because of what I'm
going through, you know, And it doesn't matter how old
your grandkids are, because I know some of you have
kids that are preteens or maybe even teenagers already, and
(42:09):
it's just like seeing the excitement, the joy, the happiness
on your faces when you're talking about those children.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
It's tremendous. It's tremendous.
Speaker 3 (42:21):
And so having those types of things gratitude is key.
I'm gonna get ready to wrap this up as I
got to get ready to go to work here shortly,
but I did want to say thank you again for
all of your love, on all of your support. And
I'm going to take a few moments here to talk
(42:44):
about my cousin because the whole point of this episode
is to not only honor his memory, but to bring
awareness to mental health and the crisis that we face.
And you know, it's it's not easy, not easy dealing
(43:06):
with life.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
It's really not.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
And we all need help. We all need someone, We
all need guidance, support, love, building up.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
Right, having having each other's back, like we all need that.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
No matter who we are, no matter who we think
we are, we all need that, you know, Mike, I
just I've dealt with I've dealt with this loss about
as well as I can. And yeah, there's a part
(43:49):
of me that wish wishes that I could have done more.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
There's a part of me.
Speaker 3 (43:55):
That wishes we could have seen seeing each other more
and and you know, I could have done something.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
To help. But uh huh I uh.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
I cherish I cherished the time that we.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
We did have together, you know, I I.
Speaker 5 (44:30):
I think about some of our conversations, and I think
about I've gone back and looked at some of our
text messages and stuff, and you know, some of the
some of the silliness that we shared, and then of
course some of the the things that we talked about
that you know, we need to talk about as as adults.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
And you know, I just.
Speaker 5 (44:56):
I just uh, I just wanted to let you know
that I love you and that I'm gonna miss you.
And even though you're you're physically gone, your smile, you're light,
(45:32):
Your soul don't always live inside of me. And whenever
I speak of you, you know, I'll speak of you fondly.
And if if this tragedy and this experience will help
(45:56):
one person to get the help that he or she
needs to improve something in their life where they don't
feel some of the things that you felt.
Speaker 6 (46:09):
It'll be worth it. It'll be worth it. It won't
change the reality, and it won't change the pain or
of you being gone, But at least at least someone
(46:30):
will have a glimmer of hope. At least someone will understand.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
That they don't have to do life alone.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
I love you.
Speaker 7 (46:48):
And I always will, Guys. I can't again. I can't
thank you guys enough for all the support. I can't
thank you guys enough for the uplifting and just everything
that so many of you have done. I love you,
(47:10):
guys tremendously. If I don't say it enough, please know
that it's not intentional. It's just sometimes I forget and
I don't always express it like I'm supposed to. But
this is me telling you thank you, This is me
telling you that I love you, This is me telling
(47:30):
you that I hope that good things, joyous things, you know,
life changing, positive things happen in your life to make
things better than what they've been. And I want to
remind you all that we can't do this alone.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
Everything that I talked about today, all of the stuff
that I've expressed.
Speaker 1 (48:00):
It can't be done alone. None of us, none of
us can do all of it alone. We simply can't.
You know.
Speaker 3 (48:07):
This episode opened with the song It's called Fear is
a Liar, And a lot of times we live in fear.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
We live in worry and despair, and we should.
Speaker 3 (48:22):
We need to be better. We need to help one another,
We need to set better examples. And the only way
we do that is if we talk about it, if
we express it, and if we do what we need
to to get the help that we need.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Because at the end of the.
Speaker 3 (48:38):
Day, every person on this earth has an expiration date,
and we have to do everything we can to live
every second of every moment of every day to the
fullest and get the most out of that and give
(48:59):
as much as we can back to it, and we
can't do that. If we're fearful, we can't do that.
If we're anxious, we can't do that. If we're depressed,
we can't do that. If we're constantly being torn down.
We have to be better humans. We have to be
(49:22):
better examples of what life is supposed to be.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
Guys, thank you so much, Thank.
Speaker 3 (49:28):
You so much for taking the time to listen to
this and put up with my sappy ass self. You guys,
have a wonderful day. Be grateful, find something today to
be grateful for, and enjoy the moments.
Speaker 1 (49:44):
Enjoy every moment. And speaking of which, I'm.
Speaker 3 (49:47):
Gonna see Sloan in effort later today, so I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
I'm ready enjoy those moments. And remember we are a
from Melia.
Speaker 3 (49:58):
We are a family, and I don't take that saying
lightly like I used to, because many of my family
have strengthened bonds with me, and many of my friends
have strengthened bonds with me, and that's what makes us one.
I love you, guys. I hope you have a great day.
(50:18):
I hope you guys are safe out there, whatever you're doing,
wherever you're at, wherever you go, enjoy it. Take care,
We'll talk to you soon. Fan Poll Sports. This is
Ronnie and I'm out. I'm a friend to.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Feel on the five or what you call me.
Speaker 3 (50:48):
Your strength.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
I've got no excuse spoken to people.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Turned on me in the lie.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
Said give me hope of lot of houses.
Speaker 2 (51:07):
In the field. Turns give me a hot lotmutated, or
paint out the fences so I can play some of
the targets whis Carton forts
Told you your own up. No, you told Gione all right, you.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Told your own our stroke and no tuttle bugs.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Fine, you need to Geni on our work. You told
Geni on.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Allop You to Giona happier.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Food never be No.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Shame is a liar. You take your breath, stop you
in your steps. Shame is a liar. You rob yourst
(00:52):
still your happy.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
N scust And that's my.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Welcome to a special fan Pole Sports episode.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I am your host, Ronnie Langford.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
It's been uh very interesting last few weeks. As many
of you know, tragically my cousin Michael passed away.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
First of all, I want to say thank.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
You to all of you that reached out, have checked
on me, supported me, UH sent prayers.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
You know, have have uplifted me.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Because you know this this has been pretty difficult for me.
You know, I've told my loved ones that this this
one hurts probably as as much as when my parents
passed away. UH differ different circumstances, but nonetheless, the sting,
(02:15):
the pain, the sadness, even even a bit of despair
UH set in. And you know it's been it's been
a journey over.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
The last few weeks.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
To be able to express myself and do it in
such a way where I'm not breaking down, and you know,
please don't don't be surprised if at some point you
you can tell that my voice changes and that tears
are flowing and things like that happen, because they probably will.
But I felt it as important to express myself on
(02:53):
this platform today. I'm not sure that many of you
are aware, but today is World Mental Health Awareness Day.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Why is that important?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Well, my cousin was suffering from some sort of mental
breakdown and it caused a variety of events to happen,
and it was it's it's a it's a sobering reality
that we don't know what the other person next to
(03:31):
us is going through and sometimes saying I'm here, sometimes
putting a handout, sometimes trying to help, isn't enough.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
And it this.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Just led to to this incident and and it was
it's awful. It's awful on a lot of a lot
of different uh scales and stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
You know, when we talk about mental health a lot
of times, especially guys from my generation and a little
bit older, you know, we talk about how weak minded
people are and how you're soft and you know, you know,
thenni's Ghana's you don't have whales, and you know you
gotta be chan gone and all this other stuff, and
(04:20):
you know that's that's not true. That's not none of
that is true, because what we've come to find is
that mental health is a serious, serious thing that everyone
suffers through at some point.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
In their life.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Now, don't get me wrong, some people can handle things
better than others, and that's always been the case in history.
That's not just something today or a few years ago.
But it doesn't mean that you know, they're perfect. It
doesn't mean that you know, oh, they're the strongest person
you've ever met. No, it just means that they've they
(04:58):
have a grasp and understanding of how to deal with
different events that change their everyday lives and change moments
compared to what they had been and what they were.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
And you know, we need to do a better.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Job as a society, as a community, as families, as friends,
co workers, like all of it, all of it intertwines together.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
You know, we have a true mental health crisis in
this world.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
There is not one part of this world that doesn't
have some sort of mental crisis at hand. Okay, because
whether you're worried about finances, whether you're worried about someone
who's sick or yourself that's sick, whether you're worried about
your children, whether you're worried about your grandchildren, where they're
worried about, you know, jobs.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
I mean, there's just there's a variety of things.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Across the board that people people struggle with and people
worry about, and a lot of times we're not sure
how to handle that because.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
We feel hopeless, We feel a.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Sense of anxiety, constantly and excessively worrying about stuff, you know,
things in our life. A lot of times let us
feel empty. You know, you look at people who you think, oh, man,
they have everything, But unless you talk to them, unless
you get with them, unless you understand what happens in
(06:34):
their everyday life, they may not have everything. They may
be reaching searching, hoping for something more to fulfill them.
The stuff that you see is the mask that they wear.
And we all wear masks.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
We all do.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
We try to get through something, We try to push
through and persevere and sometimes it doesn't happen. And then
you know, you have people that will ask you, hey,
what's wrong here? You will hey, you know whatever, and
then you get irritable. You get irritated by that because
it's too much, right, Like, I don't need your help
every second of the day. I don't need you right
(07:11):
there with me every second of the day. I just
need you there when I need you. And sometimes people
get turned off by that because I'm.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Just trying to help you.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Well, now you've made it worse because you've irritated the
other person, and now they have another worry because, oh, well,
I've upset this person who's trying to help me, but
they can't understand what it is that.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I'm going through.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
A lot of times, you feel numb, you feel detached
from emotions, and that's it's human nature, you know. But
we were never intended to do life alone. I know,
it's real easy to think I can handle this. You know,
(07:58):
it's not a big deal. I got it to the
Bible that the intentions of God were never for us
to be alone. I mean that there's a reason why
he created Eve in the garden because he saw that Adam.
Although Adam was connected with all that was in the garden,
God understood that he needed a partner.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
He needed someone.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
By his side to help him navigate whatever life was ahead.
And in Hebrews chapter ten, twenty three twenty five, it says,
let us hold fast the confession of hope without wavering,
for he promised is for what he promised, and who
he promised is faithful.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
And let us.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Consider how to start up one another to love and
good works, not neglecting to meet together as it is
a habit of some, but encouraging one another.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
And all the more as you see the day drawing near.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
So when we talk about being there, and we talk
about helping one another and getting through some of these
things that life throws as throws at us, we need
to understand that we're intended to do that together, but
in such a way that you're uplifting, that you're creating
(09:22):
an atmosphere and in an environment that is drawing each
other to one another in a positive way, in such
a way that things will improve in one area of
each person's life. You know, like I said, I mean
guys my age, you know, the fifty something crowd, maybe
(09:45):
even the late forty something crowds. You know, we were
the last of these generations that you know, we had
the dad's, the grandpas, the uncles, the camaradas, the Carnales
like all these like different types of people in our
culture that we were supposed to look up to, and
(10:05):
we were supposed to be tough like right, like we
were supposed to be Chinon's in a lot of people's
eyes and what did that mean?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
I mean?
Speaker 1 (10:13):
And and a lot of times it was just what
we saw, right.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Like, oh man, he's a badass and he can do this,
and he can do that, and he takes this on
and he takes that on. But we're never sure, we're
never quite sure of what one of those men may
have been struggling with. One of those men was dealing
with because they didn't talk about their feelings. They didn't
(10:38):
talk about you know, if they were hurt, or if
they were sad, or if they were upset, like in
certain life events happened, then you could tell, like.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
What their emotion was.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
But on their everyday life, their every day going about
who they were and what they did and who they
were around, you never saw that. And we don't we
don't know how much stress and worry they're carried with
them because their mindsets were such that I can't show weakness.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
You know, there's the old what is it? Right? Guard?
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Commercial, never let them see you sweat, and like that's
the mindset, right, Like that's that's the way it's.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Supposed to be.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
We're not supposed to be sweating in times of anxiety.
We're not supposed to be sweating in times of worry
and stress. We're not supposed to be sweating in times
of mourning and you know, feeling like hopeless because something
tragic happened.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Right, We're supposed to be the face, We're supposed to be.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
The calming, you know, reason that everyone else is under control,
because oh, hey, look at Dad, look at look at Deal,
look at you know, Grandpa, Welo. You know, like look
at these people, and like they're not showing emotion. They're
they're they're they're cool, they're tough, they're you know, and
and again there's respect, respect for those things, and for
(11:59):
them to be would have controlled their emotions the way
that they do.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
But it wasn't always a good thing.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
It wasn't always something that should have been done.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
You know.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
In the case of the case of my cousin, you know,
he he was such a goof, He was such a goof,
you know, smile on his face most of the time,
and those of you that that knew him, and those
of you that were around him. You know, it was
(12:30):
a constant, just ray of sunshine. But as we got
older and we got into adulthood and things started to
change in some ways, that smile, you know, would would
not be as frequent. That smile would would be there
(12:53):
only in a moment in comparison to what it had been.
And you know, our last, our last interaction like face
to face together was such a tremendous day and and
I'll never forget. I'll never forget that day, you know.
And I got to spend time with him and my
(13:15):
good friend Mark. Uh.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
You know, shout out.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
To Mark for for holding it down, for being there
for me, for for listening to me, for offering guidance,
fellowship and grace during this time. You know, love you,
my friend, Thank you, Thank you for for being there.
But we got to have lunch together. And it's it's
(13:41):
been about.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
A year now, I guess.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
And you know, I forgot that him and Mark had
worked together on the Riverwalk.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Maybe not at the same locations all the time.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
But you know, they were around the same areas and
they'd bump into each other all the time, and they'd
hang out here and there, and Mark with me.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
He saw Mike.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Micha would tell me he saw Mark, and you know,
I'd laugh, you know because some of the stuff that
they would tell me, Well, we get together for lunch
and these guys pick up like it was yesterday. And
to sit back and watch them interact, and to sit
back and to listen to the stories and the things
(14:21):
that they were discussing and the things that they were doing.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I mean, it was it was such a wonderful moment.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
It was such a wonderful time, and it was something
that I'll cherish for the rest of my life because
I got to see a glimpse of the true person
that my cousin was in that two hour period or
so that we were together. And it's those types of
(14:48):
things that I'll remember about him. It's those memories that
I'll remember. I posted pictures and you know, some a
few stories here and there on some of my social
media platforms talking about him, and it's just it's hilarious.
It's hilarious some of the stories and some of the
things that I think about. You know, right now, we're
in the middle of baseball playoffs. The Dodgers were his
(15:15):
team to this day, because you know, growing up, we'd
go see the Dodgers at VJ. Keyfield there at Saint
Mary's University with my dad and my uncle Dan, and
you know, we'd run around like a bunch of knuckleheads
because they had video games on the one side of
the stadium, and you know, it would kind of frustrate
(15:38):
my dad and my uncle because they brought us to
the game and watch the game, and we wouldn't watch
the game.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
We'd go play video games and stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
But you know, there were so many great memories of
us doing that, going camping, and and you know, took
a couple of different family vacations.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
With him and my aunt and my.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Uncle, my cousins, and so just just a variety of
things that I'll always hold on to, always cherish, I'll
always remember, you know, I can't forget when he was,
you know, in his body builder phase. He he got
the crew cut, you know, the the the square top,
and then he'd walk around with these little tank tops
(16:19):
on and he'd cut the sleeves down a little bit
more and then he would tie him and he'd have
these like little spaghetti strap tank tops and stuff. And
I'd always laugh because first of all, I can't pull
off a tank top. I mean not even to this day.
I have one that I wear around the house, but
I wear that around the house. I don't wear that
in public. So I I could never pull off a
(16:40):
tank top. But but he could. I mean, as goofy
as it looked, as silly as it was, he could
pull off a tank top, and and he did. And
you know, just him walking around and acting a fool
because he thought he was the coolest guy with these
stupid tank tops and and goofy haircuts, so to speak.
(17:00):
But that's that's who he was. And when he started
to struggle, you know, various things happened in his life
that caused those struggles. Various things happened in his life
that were some of them were probably traumatic, and some
(17:21):
of them were probably things that we didn't realize were
affecting him as much as they did. And you know,
it's hard, it's hard to really gauge what someone is
going through when they don't want to talk, or they
don't want to say, or they don't want to be
fully transparent or open about what's going on, just simply
(17:42):
because you know, the mentality of I got it, I
got it, I'm gonna figure it out.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
You know, we have to get better.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
We have to get better as a as a society,
as a culture, as a family, because we can't. We
can't figure it out alone. We can't do it by ourselves.
And too often that's the mentality that we have, and
that's what gets us in trouble. That's what gets us
(18:14):
to the point where the darkness feels like it's overcoming
the light.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
It's not.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
There's light. There's light there. You just have to continue
to strive to try to reach it.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
You know. I've been very fortunate in my life that
I've had.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
A tremendous support system around me, from my grandparents to
members of my family, my siblings at times, and friends
that helped me get through some of the toughest and
darkest times in my life. I've been depressed, I've been anxious,
(18:58):
I've been everything, just like everyone else, you know, but
that foundation of people helped me because they offered me grace,
they offered me hope, they offered me things that they
(19:18):
knew I needed to have to get through whatever I
was going through. The most important thing that they did
for me and with me is they prayed.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Faith. My faith will always be something that I'm very
proud of.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
My faith is always going to be something that I'm
going to proclaim, no matter how I say it or
what I say. Some people may not agree with the
way that I go about it. Some people may not
understand why I talk about it the.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Way that I do.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Some people may not agree with it because that's not
the way that they've seen it, or they understand it
in the church that they've gone to.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
And that's fine.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
And you know, if you're going to church, you have
a church, you're involved in your church, you have a
relationship with God. You've built that foundation of faith in
your life. I encourage you to continue to expand that relationship,
but don't try to tear down someone else because it's
(20:26):
not your faith, it's not your understanding, see, because that's
where the problems lie. I'm the first one to admit
I've been a bully in my life at times.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
I've been a jerk.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
I've been an ass, I've been everything that you could imagine,
good and bad. Okay, I'm not gonna sugarcoat any of
that because all of those things are true and a
lot of ways. Those things have molded me in different
ways at different times, and it's one of those things
(21:05):
that the realities of life have forced me to understand
and grasp because that's what it's been, that's who I've been.
But my intentions, although I'll say we're not intended.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
To hurt people, don't.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Mean anything because my actions and my words may have
said or caused a reaction to happen differently. And when
we talk about people's mental health and people's mental strength,
you know, I've been a bad person at times because
(21:50):
I've talked about stuff like pressure, virgins and mental midgets
and a lot of those times and I know this
is this is going to sound like I'm trying to
justify those words and things. But a lot of those times,
those statements, those words, those tags were meant because someone
(22:13):
failed in the moment on a task that you know
they should have been able to handle. Right, It wasn't life,
It wasn't life that I was just calling them that
it was the work or the moment that we were
in on a game or whatever. The flip side to
(22:34):
that is I never asked are you okay? What are
you going through right now that you need help with
what is happening that I can help to improve with
you or for you.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I just called.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Them pressure virgins, or I just called them mental midgets,
not realizing what these people had gone through, or that
what they were going through now the obvious things that
I knew were happening in their lives that stayed away
from those things, I didn't I didn't press it.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
But when life seemed to.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Be good and things seemed to be okay, and everybody
was having a good time, and they failed in their
tasks and they they didn't quite live up to the
expectation that you know, they they liked to talk about
or that we felt like they should have, then yeah,
that's when I would go in and I would say things,
and whatever would happen would happen. It should have never
(23:35):
been that way, you know, because I consider and talk
about my faith. But then I'm telling you that I'm
a bully. But which one are you? Which one are you?
Speaker 1 (23:47):
You know?
Speaker 3 (23:48):
And and it's it's part of this mental process to
understand what it is that's going on in my head
and then what it is that I wanted to portray
that'sy and the message that I want to deliver. And
so when we talk about mental health, when we talk
about the struggles that people have, it's important for people
(24:12):
to realize the damage that they've done and then do
what they can to fix that damage. You know, there's
some damage that you may never get to fix because
you may never see certain people again. So the direct
fix may not get taken care of. But how you
(24:34):
treat others, how you relate to others, how you help others,
how you do what you can to lift them up
and not tear them down, that's just as important, and
that improvement has to be there. And I think sometimes,
you know, my cousin felt like there was too much
(24:57):
being torn down in his life life and around his life,
and his despair became such that, you know, he was
in this crisis, and the crisis turned to survival mode
and he wasn't exactly sure how to get out of it.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
So, yeah, it's it's it's heartbreaking.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Like I said earlier, like this one hurts as much,
if not more than some of the other tragedies that
have occurred in my life, some of the other losses
that I've had in my life. But I'm I want
to take the steps I want to take the opportunities.
I want to take the time to, you know, express
(25:45):
these thoughts and these feelings, and maybe this will help
someone else, Maybe this will improve someone else's life to
hear that you're enough to let you know that I
care about you, to let you know that I'm here
for you, morning, noon, or night. And there have been
(26:08):
some in my life that I've said that too, and
they've tested that theory. And hey, guess what, Ron was there,
And holy cow, you know, I can't believe he answered
the phone, or I can't believe he replied to my message.
And so I want to do what I can to
help not only my own mental state, because the more
(26:30):
that I feel like the more that I can I
can bring positive into my life, that I can reflect
that positivity to other people's lives and maybe give them outlets,
or maybe give them resources, or maybe steer them in
a certain direction. That's going to help. You know, how
(26:51):
how do you improve your mental health? What do you
do to get better mentally and stronger? Well, some of
the things that are you know, is exercise regularly. I know,
old fat guys like me, it's a struggle to exercise
on a regular basis I'll make every excuse not to
get out there, or I'll do just enough to say
(27:14):
that I exercised, but it needs to be better, it
needs to be more. So regular exercise is probably one
of the better things you can do because you're relieving tension,
you're relieving feelings. There's things that are exiting your body,
so to speak. And then you begin to see the
progress as you exercise, whether it's weight loss or gaining
(27:36):
muscle or strength, you know, endurance like cardio and things
like that.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Like once you begin to see.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
Those improvements and you see those things coming together, a
lot of times, that starts to make us feel better
and we can get through some of these things.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Eating a balanced diet. Again, I know this world is chaotic.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
It's fast, it moves, and a lot of times we're
we're not at.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Home making home cooked meals.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Things are expensive, so we're not buying you know, the
little more high end you know, fish or steak or
chicken or whatever. We're buying whatever we can afford, and
we're just throwing something together or we're just saying, you
know what, I got extra money in my pocket, I'm
gonna stop at Waterburger McDonald's sonic, whatever the case may be,
(28:29):
and pick up something, and then of course eating at
all hours of the day and night.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
You know, we're not regimented.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
A lot of times we kind of stick to Okay,
I have breakfast at this time, I have lunch at
this time, I have dinner at this time. But a
lot of times it's not regimented. Where Okay, at eight o'clock,
I'm having breakfast and this is what I'm gonna have.
And then at you know, twelve thirty, I'm gonna have lunch,
and this is what I'm gonna have, and then at
six o'clock, this is what we're doing for dinner.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
So getting a well bound diet.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
And eating fruits and vegetables, I mean, I'll be the
first one to admit, growing up, I did not eat
a lot of fruits and vegetables the way that I
stuck to certain fruits. I didn't have a variety of
fruits that I would go to. And then vegetables. I
did everything I could to avoid vegetables. I mean, unless
you could hide it in the food itself, I wasn't
(29:23):
gonna put vegetables on my plate a lot of times.
But as I've gotten older, I understand the importance of that,
and having those things in my diet will help improve
a variety of things, prioritizing sleep.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
You know, we know.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
There's statistics out there that talk about average sleep for
adults is probably about five and a half hours, and
a lot of you don't probably get that because you're
tossing and turning.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
You can't turn your mind off. You can't shut it down,
so to speak.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
So you get anxious, you start thinking about the next day,
You start worrying about what happened, what you couldn't accomplish,
what you didn't accomplish, and so you can't ever shut
your mind off. It's important and vital that you shut
your mind off, and you need to try your best
to try to get to six hours of sleep, then
(30:25):
six and a half hours of sleep, and seven hours
of sleep.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
And I know it sounds impossible. I know it does.
I know it does, but it is possible. Believe me.
It is.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Prayer, meditation, exercise, like all of those things come together
and then they allow your body to relax them They
allow your body to.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Just push out the negative.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
And then your mind is able to begin to think
about the positive, and then that will help your body,
your soul, everything about it to calm down and then
hopefully be able to get into your bed. And you know,
having having a good pillow that that's important. You know,
a lot of us sleep on the same mattress for ever. Uh,
(31:12):
so you know, changing out the mattress or flipping the mattress,
all of those things factor.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
In to a good night's rest.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
And you know, getting enough freat And I will be
the first to admit, I will advocate for a nap,
give me a give me a good quiet time and
an and and one of my one of my blankets,
and I can take a nap.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
You know, I c I'll shut it down.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
I I I try not to nap as much as
I used to because sometimes I fall asleep too long
in a nap and then I struggle to fall asleep
at night.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
So you know, you have to be careful on.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
How you balance that, you know, cultivating positive connections. You know,
I'm going to get together with a lot of my
friends this weekend, and I'm gonna get together with some
of my family this weekend.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
And it's intentional. It's intentional because.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
I need to be in their presence just like they
need me to be in their presence, and we need
to build that foundation and solidify.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Things around us and people around us.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
You know, yesterday I was pretty upset because something happened
and I posted something on Facebook and I dropped dropped
the F bomb, and you know, I was like, and
before anybody says anything and old Ronnie your language, I
was like, don't don't do it, leave me alone, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
And it was funny.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
I uh, as stressful as the moment was and as
upset as I was at the time when I started
seeing the comments. And what was funny was that my
good friend, you know, Bob Martinez, the best DJ.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
In the business. Uh, you know, He's like, who do
we have to jump?
Speaker 3 (32:56):
I'll know, I'll get the guys. We'll we'll get out there,
We'll jump 'em, you know, and I'm laughing. And then
of course my good friend Scott, you know, it's Scott Scott.
Scott Scott is truly a special a special friend and
a great guy. And he says, uh, he posts a
(33:16):
picture of the Get Along Gang cartoon, you know, and
I'm I'm laughing, I'm cracking up because I'm looking at that.
And then of course, my my longtime good friend. You know,
I joke with her to this day about how she
used to be one of my bullies when I was
growing up, and and I think a lot of it
was just the fact that she was such a great athlete.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
And then as we got.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Older, you know, there was there was that, you know,
have a crush on one another type of thing that
you do as guys, and you got to mess with
girls in that way. But it was funny because you know,
my good friend Tina.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Uncle said she she she says.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Hey, homie, I got you, I got you back, you know,
And it really if I if I was ever in
a fight. I mean, to this day, if I was
ever in a fight and I needed backup and I said, hey, Tena,
I need you there to help me out, I guarantee
you that woman.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Would show up ready to fight everybody. And so to.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
See that, you know, even in my one of my
most frustrating moments, to see the support that I had,
and then other people commenting and other people, you know,
saying things, it meant a lot because it showed me
that I do have a community of friends and family
that are supporting me, friends and family that do have
(34:40):
my back. Friends and family who do understand that it's
okay to be frustrated and it's okay to express yourself
and we're going to help you get through it. You know,
I cannot thank my wife Lauren enough, because you know,
(35:01):
she's she's been through.
Speaker 4 (35:03):
Some of the most tragic moments of my life, as
far as like losing friends and loved ones at various
stages of my life since we've been together, and then
she's been there to share.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
With some of the most joyous moments of my life.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
And she's done everything with such grace and everything with
such mercy that, like I think to myself, I don't
know that I could have gotten through some of those
things without her, And you know I don't. I don't
say it enough, and I'm trying to get better at
(35:48):
I'm trying to express myself better to her about it.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
But I'm thankful.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
I am thankful for her and her support and her
love and for her desire to make me a better person,
to make me a better man.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Because, believe me when I tell you my walk with faith.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
Although I grew up in the church, I went to
church on a regular basis. I did various things in church,
growing up and into my early adulthood. My true jump
into faith came from her because she was the one
(36:30):
who said, hey, we need to be doing this, we
need to go here.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
You know, we need to do these things. And I
mean again, I cannot thank her enough for that.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
So yeah, connecting with others and having the right foundation
and people in your life will help to improve your
mental health. Giving to others, engaging and acts of kindness.
I try every morning when I come to work to
you know, say good morning to everyone, check on everybody
on the floor, make sure their day is good, and
(37:05):
you know, and I've always been that way.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
I've always been that way.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
I've always tried to be the person that's that's gonna offer,
you know, a word of encouragement to start the day.
And it's important to have that because again, you don't
know what someone's going through. You don't know what kind
of phone call that that person got before they came
to work or they got overnight. Just like when I
(37:28):
was going through out I was going through a few
weeks ago. You know, these guys, you know, they paid
it forward. You know, they were supportive, they checked on me.
You know, they they've they've listened they've seen me cry,
We've we've been in meetings. I've talked about mental health
and physical health with them.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Fatigue.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Fatigue is huge, right, Like mental fatigue is as bad,
if not worse than than physical fatigue because your mind
is controlling everything that's going on, so then your body
is following suit. So if you're not strong men mentally,
your body's going to break down.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
It's going to be weak. And I've talked to them
about those things.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
Because of the conditions that we work in, the the
open air facility that we have here at my job,
it becomes one of those things where they have to
understand that, you know, it's okay to take a second,
gather yourself, cool down, hydrate, whatever the whatever the case
(38:26):
may be, right, and so it's it's important for them
to know that. So when you're giving those types of
messages and you're interacting in that way where you're giving
something of yourself to someone else, that's important.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Uh to to to to.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
Build mental health and mental strength being a part of
a community.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
You know, when I started.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
This podcast, obviously part of it was because I was
tired of the talking heads on the networks and them
giving their bs to on certain players or certain teams,
and it was a love fest for this guy and
it was this.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Team can do no wrong.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
And I just got tired of that because I was like,
you know what you need you need to hear it
on his voice. Sometimes you need to hear somebody saying
this is my team. But they sucked right. And so
that was the whole point of this podcast. And I've
reached out to various friends and various people to get
people on the show so we can have different viewpoints,
we can talk about different things and and do different breakdowns.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
But as it's gone on, it really is an outlet for.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Me because even though most of these episodes are on
on a video chat, it's.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Just it's meant the world to me because it gives
me a chance.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
To break away from all the other stuff in life.
And whether it's an hour, whether it's two hours, whether
we do one episode or we do five episodes, it
just it gives me time away from everything else and
be joined with people like minded people that are you know,
(40:09):
having a good time and cracking jokes and you know,
being silly and offering their opinion on stuff.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
And I know a lot of times, you.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Know, you hear stuff from guys like me that we've
never been professional athletes, we never played ball in college.
You know, why do we have an opinion? Why should we?
Why should people listen to us? And like, there's all
of those things that I get it right, but it
doesn't matter because I'm having fun. I'm having a blast,
you know, sitting there talking to the guys bs and
(40:37):
having a good time being silly, Like those are the
things that I enjoyed.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Those are the things that mean the most to me.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
So being a part of a community like that is
vital to improving you know, your mental health, your physical
health as well. You know, there's there's so many different
things practicing gratitude. Gratitude is a big thing that we
should all practice. There's always something that we should be
grateful for.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
And and those of you.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
That are my age, maybe a little younger, maybe a
little older, that are now.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
Grandparents, like that in itself right there.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
If your if your grandchild is healthy, your grandchild is good,
your grandchild has you know, loving carrying people around them
and they're they're molding these little young lives into something special,
something beautiful, something wonderful, then you should be grateful for that,
because those things only happen if you've done that in
(41:35):
people's lives. And so when when you when when you
see me posting about Sloan and Effett and I see
you guys posting about your grandkids and how excited you are.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
About them and how much you love them and how
much they.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
Mean to you, like that brings me such joy because
I know exactly what you're feeling because of what I'm
going through, you know, And it doesn't matter how old
your grandkids are, because I know some of you have
kids that are preteens or maybe even teenagers already, and
(42:09):
it's just like seeing the excitement, the joy, the happiness
on your faces when you're talking about those children.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
It's tremendous. It's tremendous.
Speaker 3 (42:21):
And so having those types of things gratitude is key.
I'm gonna get ready to wrap this up as I
got to get ready to go to work here shortly,
but I did want to say thank you again for
all of your love, on all of your support. And
I'm going to take a few moments here to talk
(42:44):
about my cousin because the whole point of this episode
is to not only honor his memory, but to bring
awareness to mental health and the crisis that we face.
And you know, it's it's not easy, not easy dealing
(43:06):
with life.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
It's really not.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
And we all need help. We all need someone, We
all need guidance, support, love, building up.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
Right, having having each other's back, like we all need that.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
No matter who we are, no matter who we think
we are, we all need that, you know, Mike, I
just I've dealt with I've dealt with this loss about
as well as I can. And yeah, there's a part
(43:49):
of me that wish wishes that I could have done more.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
There's a part of me.
Speaker 3 (43:55):
That wishes we could have seen seeing each other more
and and you know, I could have done something.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
To help. But uh huh I uh.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
I cherish I cherished the time that we.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
We did have together, you know, I I.
Speaker 5 (44:30):
I think about some of our conversations, and I think
about I've gone back and looked at some of our
text messages and stuff, and you know, some of the
some of the silliness that we shared, and then of
course some of the the things that we talked about
that you know, we need to talk about as as adults.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
And you know, I just.
Speaker 5 (44:56):
I just uh, I just wanted to let you know
that I love you and that I'm gonna miss you.
And even though you're you're physically gone, your smile, you're light,
(45:32):
Your soul don't always live inside of me. And whenever
I speak of you, you know, I'll speak of you fondly.
And if if this tragedy and this experience will help
(45:56):
one person to get the help that he or she
needs to improve something in their life where they don't
feel some of the things that you felt.
Speaker 6 (46:09):
It'll be worth it. It'll be worth it. It won't
change the reality, and it won't change the pain or
of you being gone, But at least at least someone
(46:30):
will have a glimmer of hope. At least someone will understand.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
That they don't have to do life alone.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
I love you.
Speaker 7 (46:48):
And I always will, Guys. I can't again. I can't
thank you guys enough for all the support. I can't
thank you guys enough for the uplifting and just everything
that so many of you have done. I love you,
(47:10):
guys tremendously. If I don't say it enough, please know
that it's not intentional. It's just sometimes I forget and
I don't always express it like I'm supposed to. But
this is me telling you thank you, This is me
telling you that I love you, This is me telling
(47:30):
you that I hope that good things, joyous things, you know,
life changing, positive things happen in your life to make
things better than what they've been. And I want to
remind you all that we can't do this alone.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
Everything that I talked about today, all of the stuff
that I've expressed.
Speaker 1 (48:00):
It can't be done alone. None of us, none of
us can do all of it alone. We simply can't.
You know.
Speaker 3 (48:07):
This episode opened with the song It's called Fear is
a Liar, And a lot of times we live in fear.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
We live in worry and despair, and we should.
Speaker 3 (48:22):
We need to be better. We need to help one another,
We need to set better examples. And the only way
we do that is if we talk about it, if
we express it, and if we do what we need
to to get the help that we need.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Because at the end of the.
Speaker 3 (48:38):
Day, every person on this earth has an expiration date,
and we have to do everything we can to live
every second of every moment of every day to the
fullest and get the most out of that and give
(48:59):
as much as we can back to it, and we
can't do that. If we're fearful, we can't do that.
If we're anxious, we can't do that. If we're depressed,
we can't do that. If we're constantly being torn down.
We have to be better humans. We have to be
(49:22):
better examples of what life is supposed to be.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
Guys, thank you so much, Thank.
Speaker 3 (49:28):
You so much for taking the time to listen to
this and put up with my sappy ass self. You guys,
have a wonderful day. Be grateful, find something today to
be grateful for, and enjoy the moments.
Speaker 1 (49:44):
Enjoy every moment. And speaking of which, I'm.
Speaker 3 (49:47):
Gonna see Sloan in effort later today, so I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
I'm ready enjoy those moments. And remember we are a
from Melia.
Speaker 3 (49:58):
We are a family, and I don't take that saying
lightly like I used to, because many of my family
have strengthened bonds with me, and many of my friends
have strengthened bonds with me, and that's what makes us one.
I love you, guys. I hope you have a great day.
(50:18):
I hope you guys are safe out there, whatever you're doing,
wherever you're at, wherever you go, enjoy it. Take care,
We'll talk to you soon. Fan Poll Sports. This is
Ronnie and I'm out. I'm a friend to.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Feel on the five or what you call me.
Speaker 3 (50:48):
Your strength.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
I've got no excuse spoken to people.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Turned on me in the lie.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
Said give me hope of lot of houses.
Speaker 2 (51:07):
In the field. Turns give me a hot lotmutated, or
paint out the fences so I can play some of
the targets whis Carton forts
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