May 31, 2026 • 35 mins
Why do so many people chase versions of success that eventually leave them feeling disconnected, isolated, or empty?
In this episode of the Full Mental Bracket Podcast, Brent Diggs and Camille Diggs explore what The Family Man reveals about ambition, relationships, identity, and the different ways people define wealth.
At the center of the conversation is Jack Campbell—a man who appears to have everything: money, status, power, and professional success. But through an unexpected glimpse into an alternate version of his life, the film explores how repeated choices shape identity over time—and why achievement without connection can begin to feel hollow.
Through the lens of movie psychology and storytelling, this episode examines relational wealth, sacrifice, meaning, and the tension between ambition and responsibility. The conversation explores why alternate timeline stories resonate so deeply, how relationships change people over time, and why struggle often becomes part of what gives life meaning.
If you’ve ever questioned the direction your life is taking—or wondered whether success and fulfillment are always the same thing—this conversation explores what The Family Man might reveal about the life people envy versus the life that actually fulfills them.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
• What The Family Man reveals about success and relational wealth
• Why achievement without connection can eventually feel empty
• How repeated choices shape identity over time
• Why struggle often creates deeper meaning in relationships
• The psychology behind alternate timeline stories
• How people inherit definitions of success from others
• Why relationships can reshape life direction
• What Jack Campbell’s story reveals about meaning, sacrifice, and fulfillment
Timestamps
(00:00) – What Success Actually Looks
(13:47) – Changing Your Values is Not Easy
(20:59) – Why Relationships Change People
(24:38) – How Struggle Creates Meaning
(26:20) – The Life Everyone Else
(30:58) – The Family Man Ending
About the Podcast
Full Mental Bracket explores psychology, storytelling, and personal growth—focusing on how interpretation shapes action, and how repeated actions shape the direction of your life.
Full Mental Bracket - learning to tell a better story with your life
In this episode of the Full Mental Bracket Podcast, Brent Diggs and Camille Diggs explore what The Family Man reveals about ambition, relationships, identity, and the different ways people define wealth.
At the center of the conversation is Jack Campbell—a man who appears to have everything: money, status, power, and professional success. But through an unexpected glimpse into an alternate version of his life, the film explores how repeated choices shape identity over time—and why achievement without connection can begin to feel hollow.
Through the lens of movie psychology and storytelling, this episode examines relational wealth, sacrifice, meaning, and the tension between ambition and responsibility. The conversation explores why alternate timeline stories resonate so deeply, how relationships change people over time, and why struggle often becomes part of what gives life meaning.
If you’ve ever questioned the direction your life is taking—or wondered whether success and fulfillment are always the same thing—this conversation explores what The Family Man might reveal about the life people envy versus the life that actually fulfills them.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
• What The Family Man reveals about success and relational wealth
• Why achievement without connection can eventually feel empty
• How repeated choices shape identity over time
• Why struggle often creates deeper meaning in relationships
• The psychology behind alternate timeline stories
• How people inherit definitions of success from others
• Why relationships can reshape life direction
• What Jack Campbell’s story reveals about meaning, sacrifice, and fulfillment
Timestamps
(00:00) – What Success Actually Looks
(13:47) – Changing Your Values is Not Easy
(20:59) – Why Relationships Change People
(24:38) – How Struggle Creates Meaning
(26:20) – The Life Everyone Else
(30:58) – The Family Man Ending
About the Podcast
Full Mental Bracket explores psychology, storytelling, and personal growth—focusing on how interpretation shapes action, and how repeated actions shape the direction of your life.
Full Mental Bracket - learning to tell a better story with your life
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Most people think they know what success looks like, money, status, fame,
But what if following that definition leads you to someplace
you don't want to be. Today we're looking at the
film The Family Man and what that tells us about
the need for relationship, defining your own success, and what
true wealth really looks like. I'm Brent Diggs and this
is the full mental Bracket. We're science and storytelling meat
(00:26):
to help you level up and tell a better story
with your life. Happy time, Perry Bracketeers, and welcome back today.
We're going to talk about the two thousand film The
Family Man. Not to be confused with Family Guy, that
(00:48):
would be a different difference altogether. This is a film,
once again from the year two thousand. It's got Nicholas Cage,
it's got Tia Leoni, it's got great people's. I hate
to say it, it's a romance. Don't hang up now,
but it's a good one. It's not as well known
as some of the other films we've covered, but it's
still a good one and we really like it.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
It's fabulous. It's a life story, it's a life lesson.
We talk a lot on here about how to build
a better story, and this is one angle that he
decides to go with.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Actually, I'm gonna walk that back a little bit. It's
pretends to be a romance, but it's kind of a
science fiction fantasy in there. You've got alternate dimensions, you
get time machines, you get stuff. You got. Yeah, you
just got to watch through it. Yes, it's as if
the Hallmark Channel got a hold of a good set. No,
it's not that bad. I mean, it's not that wonderful.
That's what I meant to say.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Let's not talk about Homemark.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Let's not go there, all right, So this film starts
with the flashback from nineteen eighty seven. For some of you,
that was a long time ago. For some of us,
that really wasn't all that long after. So and we
have these characters. We have and Kate in the airport
and they're saying they're goodbyes.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And Kate really doesn't want him to leave. She's got
this bad feeling. She doesn't want him to go. She
keeps telling him please don't go. I know we talked
about this, and Jack's like, Hey, we already covered this.
I'm going this is what we talked about. This is
our future. It's only a year. I'm gonna go. She's like, no,
don't do it, you need to stay here. I got
(02:25):
a bad feeling about this. I choose us.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
So Jack is on his way to London for his
big business break. These two we presume are college sweethearts,
and this is their big moment. He's got his big break.
He needs to fly to London and get this big
financial job. She's like, hey, we could just you could
just stay here. But you feel like he hears you
could just settle. And this kind of comes out later
as they're different definitions of success roll out through this film.
(02:53):
But he considers it for a second and then he
leaves and gets on that plane. It's like, oh, it's
only for a year. I'll come back and we'll have
her happily after. And he never returns.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
No, no, he does not.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
So then we flash forward to the current day of
two thousand.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Right, and he's made it big. He's a big businessman,
and he's got all the parks. He's got this great apartment,
he's got girls, he's in his own career mind, very successful.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yeah. We watch him as he wakes up in a
very huge New York apartment with a one night stand
a girl he can barely remember her name, and he's
living large in his own little world. He comes to work,
has a huge office, a huge staff. He's the president
of the company. They're doing this huge merger acquisition, big
business ee thing. They're all salivating about the money that
they're going to make. He's going to get a promotion,
(03:47):
I guess, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
And they're going to work through Christmas, because that's what
you do when you're just considered, you know, making money.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah. It's kind of setting itself up to be kind
of a Christmas movie. He's kind of playing the Scrooge.
All Right, We're going to show up on Christmas Day
and do some emergency planning session and all the business
people are like, you know, we have families, right, It's like, well,
that was your first mistake. We're here about the money.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
So Jack Jack Campbell is the last one to leave
on Christmas Eve and he walks into a local convenience
store that's in the middle of an armed robbery. The
van was upset about a lottery ticket.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
He was trying to turn in a lottery ticket that
had some numbers rubbed off, and the guy behind the counter,
the cashier didn't want to give him the money, and
Jack stepped in and was like, no, here, I'll write
you check how much is it. I'll give you the
money right now, and nobody has to get hurt.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
So the supposed arm robber is Don Cheatle war Machine
from the Ironman movies. He's a great guy and come
to find out, this was all a test. The people upstairs,
whoever that is, were really impressed with how he bravely
handled the arm robbery. He says, hey, Jack just handles
it coldly like a business transaction. Listen, you want money,
I want I want to come out of here and
one piece. You want two hundred dollars for a lottery ticket,
(04:57):
I'll buy your lottery ticket. Here's two hundred dollars. It's
a very cold blood of transaction. And when everyone else
is freaking out, he's just like, this is his business.
Let's do it.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
And then as they're walking down the street, you know,
Don Chetle says, hey, so you know, it's like, what
are you up to doing? You know? Jack says, well,
everybody needs something, and Don Cheedle says what do you need?
And Jack says, I don't need anything. It's like, man,
it must be great to be you, to not need anything.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Just remember you brought this on you.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Remember you brought this on yourself. It's like, what is
that all about? What does he talking this cryptic stuff?
And so he walks through this magical snow this magical
snowstore comes, he walks into his apartment and then he
goes to sleep.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
He should never have gone this line.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
And when he wakes up, everything has changed. The shift hit. Yes,
we've been already introduced the protagonist. It is Jack, Jack Campbell.
He's driving his life. He's like a cold, efficient shark.
He's got everything he ever wondered from life, except for
the girl. He didn't never miss her, just climbing that
corporate ladder, being smoothing and being super successful and bathing
(05:59):
in money, and except for He wakes up the next
day and he's got a family.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
He wakes up in bed and his old girlfriend Kate
is his wife, and he has two children and a
dog and a dog that he has to take care
of on Christmas morning, and he's trying to figure out
what's going on and completely loses it. He freaks. He
totally freaks out, kind of like Captain Picard did.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
In the episode of Inner Light in season five of
the Next Generation Captain Picard, he gets how they find
a probe, and the probe kind of attaches itself to him,
and then he ends up in another life on another planet.
He's got a wife and he's he's computer and program,
(06:56):
computer and program.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
He's cross examining everybody, who who are you? I'm your wife?
No really, who are you? What kind of romulent spy
are you? Am?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
I a prisoner? Am I afraid to go?
Speaker 1 (07:05):
And he lives some sixty or seventy years in somebody
else's life and he grows quite happy with it, and
he has kids and grandkids, and honestly, it's kind of
the only family Prick Card ever ends up having, because
he's like this career man. And then eventually he wakes
up and he's kind of shaken.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
He has only been gone for twenty five minutes.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Yeah, he's been shaken, and so this.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Is sixty years for him, So he doesn't he doesn't
realize that, you know, how long have I been gone? Well,
twenty five minutes, Well that's he lived an entire lifetime
in those twenty five minutes.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
So something very similar is happening in this movie. I
told you was I told you it was sci fi.
You didn't believe me. So he wakes up in somebody
else's life. It's actually kind of also like the show
Dark Matter, which we won't spoil for you, but it's
about alternate timelines of dimensions and how a big decision
can change your whole life and end up creating multiple
versions of you and comes I'll find out there was
(07:58):
a different version of Jack, who didn't I jump on
the plane, who stayed home with Kate, who raised a family,
And then Jack wakes up in this guy's life.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Well, he did get on the plane, it's just that
he got a return ticket and he came and he
came back. He changed his mind, Yeah, he changed his
mind the very next day and he came back.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
But the point for this is that he didn't get
this gentle introduction he got. He got introduced with an
elbow to the ribs, the babies crying, Go get the baby.
He's like, what's the baby? Where am I? What am
I doing here? Why is my apartment so small? Why
are these people screaming? Why is it Christmas? Why do
I have in laws? Be the bad part he's hit
it out the door and his in laws are coming in.
(08:35):
It's like, oh, it just gets worse. So he freaks out.
He storms out on Christmas Day, trying to make sense
of his life. He goes back to his old work.
No one remembers him. He's like, I'm the boss, I
own this place. Like you're a bum in your pajamas,
please leave. Yeah, And nobody remembers him. And on the
way home he meets Don Cheatle. Don Cheatle is driving
Jack's sports car, So remember you brought this on yourself.
(08:57):
It's like, how long is this going to take? It's like,
as long as it takes, you're gonna this is a glimpse.
You're getting a glimpse of a life, and it's gonna
take as long as it takes.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
And the poor guy, he tricks him to get him
out of the guard.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
He does, and he hands him a bell, a little
bicycle bell in a bag. But it kind of feels
like Groundhog Days, Like, oh, it feels very much depending
on how big of a jerk you are. Is how
long this is gonna take? Yes, So on his way home,
Jack discovers that in this life he has a best
friend and the best friend finds him. He finds them
all wandering around. He's like, he thinks he's having a
midlife crisis. He's like, yeah, who hasn't woke up and said,
(09:31):
how did I get these kids? Where did this all
come from? This happens to all of us, Dude, it
was just your turn. And he offers Jack what alternate
Jack the advice to alternate Jack had given him. He's like,
he says, remember how good your life is. Don't screw
up the best thing in your life just because you're
a little unsure of who you are. And Jack is
literally unsure of who he is. He's like, who I
am not the guy that has this life. But I
(09:53):
mean that's a good point. It's like a lot of
us in our everyday life in real world, is that
sometimes we lose track of who we are and we
start doing things that are out of characteristic for ourselves.
We make some bad decisions or do some crazy things
because we forget that we're not the kind of person
who does that sort of thing.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
This is full mental bracket. When he gets home, Kate
is crying. She's worried. She's been calling hospitals. Where were you?
Where were you, and he he just he's trying. He's
just trying to wrap his brain around this whole alternate
universe that he's in. And of course, because she doesn't
(10:35):
know anything about it, she's she's just concerned that her
husband's been gone, and so's She says, Oh, you just
want to stay here, Okay, that's fine, call them and
we won't. You can have the kids.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
I don't want to go to a party, Well you
can babysit. Then I want to go to the party.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Want to go to the party.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
See he's learning fast, he really is. But when he
comes home, he gets his first taste of how his
life innerties with the people around him. Everyone's he disappeared,
and he didn't anticipate that everyone's going to freak out.
They're worried about him. I mean, in his other life,
apparently no one ever worries about him. You know, you
go home on Friday, you show up on Monday, nobody
knows what you did, Nobody cares. You're just this business cog.
(11:15):
Everyone is worried about him. They're calling the police, they're
trying to find him. And he's just like, oh, it
never occurred to me that this tantrum was going to
have effects on everyone around me. His wife also seems
to think that he's having a midlife crisis. She just
kind of rolls with this surprisingly well she does. His
daughter's the only one was really on. His daughter thinks
he's been abducted by aliens or somethings.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
The aliens have got you.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
So it's kind of a cool storytelling technique is that
he has no clue what he's doing in this life,
so he always goes to his daughter, and his daughter
fills him and this is where you do this. This
is where you say this, This is where you're supposed
to do this is today's your anniversary. Don't screw this up.
You know, today's her birthday. Don't do They're like, oh,
that's right, that's right. And so he's got a little
prompter in the wings giving him his lines so he
doesn't screw it up too badly. Yeah, should be a
(11:58):
whole different movie.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
The kid that was this wasn't this wasn't her mask.
That's not the same guy. Soone's taking my dad and
replaced me with a dumber vision. And I need to
help help you learn in a hurry. He goes from
being a captain of Wall Street to working for his
father in law at Big Ed's Tires.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Go Big Ed.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
He's like, I mean, there's nothing cats selling tires, But
I mean, if you feel like you're going to like
this million dollar merger, and it's like, what's it going
to take to put you into these white walls, these
steel radio And that's like, what have I done? Where
have I gone wrong? And he has several of those
questions for himself, and.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
He gets the paper cup out of the drawer with alcohols.
I must have needed you every minute.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
That's a swallo of whiskey. He's like, this guy was
drinking every day to live with his life because he
thinks that this is a bad life. This is the
conflict that we're going to come into later in this movie.
Is that because they're not living high on the hog.
Because people don't call him sir and open the door,
open the limo for him and pay him huge checks,
he must be a failure because that's how he measures success.
(13:00):
But as should be no surprise to listeners of this show,
that is not the only way to define success and
often not the healthiest way to define success. That's correct,
So he has some trifils some adjustment pains. He has
a temper tantrum in the department store. They go to
the department store. Yeah, I can kind of empathize with this.
It's like I don't actually need anything from the store,
(13:22):
but I'm going to walk with the family and we're
going to stop at every single store and get an
ic and everything else and take what could be a
twenty minute errand and spend three hours on it. And
he finally snaps and he's it's like, how could you
do this to me? How could you inflict this family
on me? He says out loud in front of the
department store, with everyone staring at him. It's like, you
(13:42):
did this to me?
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Yeah, he really has He really has a complete meltdown
in this store. It's really embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I mean, that's the thing. Case he finds a suit,
he's like, oh, this will look like this would look
good on me. It's to be part of my whole,
my old life. And it's like, there's no way we
can afford that, like this, this is your new life
in which we live on crumbs. And that was kind
of it snaps for him and he throws a fit.
Now it's easy to think that he's a selfish bum
because he's acting like a selfish bum. But I at
(14:11):
least can kind of feel for him. I feel like
my life. I think the reason why I liked this movie,
although as a general rule I don't really care for romances,
is that this one feels like it kind of parallels
our story to a significant amount, you know, because I
was a huge wall state gun. No no, I wasn't
no no.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
But where are you going with this?
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Well, we got married really young, and we had kids
really really young, and you know, I had this plan
to go to college and be an architect, and I was,
you know, I was going to have the satisfying job.
And you know, I wasn't that I didn't have limos
or anything, but it was going to be this job
that I loved and it was going to pay well.
And all that kind of went out the window. And
then I was in the military, and then I was
driving forkliffs and we were buying diapers, and all my
(14:52):
friends were going out and partying, and I was babysitting.
And more than once I said, how did this happen
to me? Where are the choices that led to this?
And were they the best choices available to me. You know,
I had to sit there with myself and it's like,
do I do I regret this? I'm like, no, I don't.
These My wife is amazing, these kids are amazing. But
it doesn't stop. It doesn't stop the adjustment and the struggle.
(15:16):
It's like, I still feel in certain areas of my
life I'm missing out because we're having to budget so
hard and scrimp so hard and sacrifice so many things
for things that honestly were more important. But you're also
younger and less developed in those times, so it's like
I really want to have fun at party. It's like, well,
this is where you need to sacrifice. It's unfair that
you're so broke when you're so young. It seems like
it almos should be the other way around. It's like
(15:37):
I need all these things. I mean, I think we
mentioned on the podcast before I had this money set
aside to buy a car stereo and you said, no,
the baby needs a car seat. I'm like, how many
speakers does a car seat have? I was really crushed.
Looking back now from mature me, I look like a
total idiot, But at the time it's like I never
(15:57):
get nice things. These kids are always need something, and
I had a little I had a little jack Worthy
temper tantrum there outside of toys r us I remember.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Yeah, well, I think to be fair, I mean, Jack
built up this life and he worked hard to create
this version of him before he got switched over into
the family man. And that would be a huge adjustment
for anybody to go from one lifestyle that you're used
to a completely different lifestyle overnight. It wasn't. It wasn't
(16:32):
just like, oh I made a decision and then this
thing happened, and I wish I had made this decision.
It was like years. Yeah, And it would be I
don't know, I guess it would be similar to you
and I if somebody flipped a switch and you know,
you woke up as an architect without a family, and
you're like, wait a minute, I where's my grandkids? Like
(16:55):
what just happened?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
You know, so if you can kind of look at
it the opposite direction.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
And more to the point, where are my socks? Because
I can't find them? About you? Oh, never mind. Yes,
there's a lot there would be a lot of adjustments
that would need to be made, Yes, you know, And
so Jack and Kate have a series of conversations about
what defines success. They talk about their different definitions of
(17:22):
what's valuable and meaningful. For him, it's money and status.
For her, it's family, friends and connection. And he keeps
mumbling to himself that his wife must be ashamed of
him because he's not making enough money. He continues to
project that judgment on her because that's how he thinks.
He doesn't ask her about it, They don't calibrate their judgments.
He just keeps assuming that there's no other way to
(17:44):
look at the world than the way that he's looked
at it his whole life.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
And she doesn't feel that way at all. She's content,
she's a pro bonal lawyer. She is serving her community,
her family, her friends. And they end it up at
He ended up with the job at Big Eds because
Big Ed had had the heart attack, and so he
had to step in and take over, and he wasn't
(18:08):
able to continue to pursue his career at that point
because he needed to help the family in a moment
of crisis, which is which is what we do in life.
I mean, we're gonna we're gonna help our family. We're
gonna step in in these in these trying times. So
then he's starting to get an understanding. He's starting to
get a picture. He's starting to get an understanding of
(18:30):
why he's working at Big Ed Tires as opposed to
going onto in into the Wall Street world like he
wanted to, and it helps him to kind of come
to grips and comes to terms with where he's at.
Not that he accepts it, but but he's now getting
an understanding.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Of how I got here.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Yes, this is full mental bracket.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
In the Hero's Journey, we talk a lot about how
the character needs to enter the special world, and for Jack,
the special world is suburban family life. Jack is a
high powered guy. He's efficient, cold like a shark. He
knows how to do business, but he doesn't know how
to do people. And like in our episode twenty two
with Cars the movie Cars, it's like regular life is
(19:17):
the special world where these fancy hot shots have to
actually learn how to be regular people because they're too
busy being big shots. And for Jack it's no exception.
So after some trying and failing and a lot of frustration,
Jack tries to fall back into his old lifestyle of.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Yeah, he hasn't fully he hasn't fully accepted where he's
at yet, or that this life he doesn't think it matters.
He's like, no, I'm not really married. I can flirt
with this girl over here, and I can make plans
to have an affair with her because it doesn't count
because I'm not really married. Because he still hasn't bought
into he still hasn't fully accepted that this is his life.
(19:54):
And so his friend comes back and helps him understand, Look,
we had this convers We've had this conversion. You and
I have had this conversation. You told me, and why
would you screw this up? Kate? Every man in this
city would would kill to be with Kate.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Yeah, he's trying to have an affair and try to
drown his pain. And his friend grabs him and he says,
why would you screw up the best thing in your life.
He's like everyone envies what you guys have, and here
you are about to screw it up because you feel
bad about yourself, Like, wake up, this is a good friend.
You need something like this in your tribe. If you're
(20:33):
going off the cliff, you don't want someone to say,
well you do you You're like, whoa hold on. You
are about to destroy You're not about to implode your life.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
The car's going off the cliff to book, You're about
to explode your life.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
A real friend will stop you and warn you and say, hey,
are you sure you want to do this? Because this
is the dumbest thing I've ever seen you do. Don't
do it, and I've seen you do a few dumb things,
but this is setting records.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Don't do this, dude, don't do it.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
So he interested like he's got a different kind of wealth.
He's like, you have a family and a wife and
a whole life that people would kill for, and you're
willing to throw that away. He's like, this is not
just a relationship. This is an investment that you need
to protect, and gets kind of like he doesn't say
that so many words, you know, but Jack is a
financial guy. He's like, oh, investments, I can do this. So,
(21:21):
as Jack's trying to figure out his old life, he
watches these old videotapes.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Yeah, he's at a birthday party with on the tape, Yeah,
on the tape, he's at the birthday party and he's
singing to his wife and he's sharing his love and
he can actually get a visual now of the person
that he is in this timeline, how he got to
that point and basically sees this other version of himself
(21:49):
and is starting to is starting to think about it,
starting to put the pieces together, starting to go, oh,
this is something that I really do value.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Yeah. I mean, the old version of him was not
afraid to sing out loud and sing off key in
front of all of the neighbors. He wasn't this dignified
business person. And as he watches this video, he can
see the local flirt girl he was going to have
an affair with. She's staring at him hungrily, but he
only has eyes for Kate. She is his whole world
(22:23):
and you can see that in the video. And he
goes back and learns from this previous episode in his life.
I think we can all do this too. I mean,
maybe not roll back the VCR and see how our
life played out. But there's a thing I'm thinking about.
I'm calling it like it's storymining. Where like when you
face an obstacle like haven't I face something like this before?
Didn't I do something similar to this before? And sometimes
(22:43):
oftentimes you find that you have the skills you have
the perseverance. You just don't recognize how similar this new
problem is to an old problem that you solved before.
And this is a perfect visual of that. He's watching,
literally watching his old life, going, oh, I was crazy
about her and I wasn't afraid to show it. Absolutely,
he realizes that he'd never stopped loving her. You know.
(23:05):
They have these conversations and he's starting to buy in
more in his new life, and he talks about his
old life. He's like, I was so sure of what
I wanted, I knew who I was, I was so driven,
But it was all about him. I mean, there's no
other significant people in his life. I mean at the
beginning of the movie when he gets he gets a
call from Kate in the real world. It hadn't heard
(23:28):
from her in twenty years or something like that, and
he's like, yeah, that was my old flame. I almost
married her, and the like the secretary of barsat laughing
you get married because he's such a different person, like
I can't even imagine you married. You're so driven by
your own agenda. How would you possibly share your own life?
And so he gets flung in this new life. He
gets flung in the deep end. I hope you can
(23:48):
swim gone laughing you did this to yourself.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Well, I still think he's still very I think that
he's starting to accept this is his wife, that he
has kids, that he has a dog, but he still
doesn't accept the business end of the version of him
that he's living in. For the anniversary, he takes her
out and he takes her to a high end restaurant.
(24:15):
They go to this fancy hotel and he is trying
to show her kind of the side of him that
he wanted to be and that he was in his
old version, and he's trying to trying to show her
like this is actually this is actually good too, not
(24:36):
just this other version.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Right. He's like, this is the good life. And it
kind of backfires on him because she says she looks
at the room service and everything waiting on him. He's like,
can you imagine your whole life for everything was this easy?
And he's like, not, yes, I absolutely can imagine that
would be great. And she points out something that's not
new to people that listen to this show is that
a meaningful life takes struggle. The things that come easy
(24:59):
don't feel meaningful, they don't last they don't satisfy you,
just if you don't have to work for something. It's
just one flash of happiness and then it's gone. And
she's onto that. She's like investing in this family, losing
some sleep, losing some money, doing what's right for these kids,
working on our relationship. The struggle is part of what
makes it valuable. And he's starting to figure.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
He's starting to glimmer. Yeah, he's starting to figure it out.
Glimmer and the glimpse. I like that. But then, you know,
back back to you know, big ed Tires. His old
boss comes through, has a has a blowout and comes
(25:41):
into the shop, and so he starts to to talk
with him and gets invited to the city to go
and see his old boss and try, I guess, try
to win a job.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
And he's very successful. He's still got the skill. He
remembers all the details of the business. So suddenly he's
a stranger with this great insight on what they need
for their business. And he gets a deal. He gets
a contract, he finagles it. He doesn't tell his wife.
He surprises his wife. Hey, guess what, I'm now super
successful and we can move to the city and we
can finally have the life that we deserve. And she
(26:19):
does not take that.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Well, no, she pretty much says, but I thought we were.
I saw us growing old in this house together. I
saw us raising our kids, having our grandkids here, working
on the back porch together. I saw our whole life here.
We've invested in this life, and I saw our whole
life here. But if this is what you need to
(26:41):
make you happy, yeah, then I support you because I
choose us.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Yeah. There's two powerful lines in that scene. This is
like the best scene of the whole movie, because he
says we could finally have a life that other people envy,
you know, riches and fame, and she says they already do.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
It's the echo of the best friend. Stupid, stupid, you
have the best life of anybody I know, and you're
still not happy with it, you know, in the loving
way that best friends. It's like, hey, dummy, pull your
head out, focus, you know. And he just stops, like
they do envy me, and she's like, you know, and
he's just he's stunned. She's like, I will give up
(27:20):
everything that I love that I think is important, my career,
the schools, the community, all the friends that we have
and pack it up and go to the city for
you if you need this, because I love you that much,
I'll give up everything for you. And it just stuns him.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Yeah, And the next morning when she wakes up, she
hears outside the laughter. And he's outside playing with his
daughter in the snow, in the snow, and she hears
the laughter, and she hears it, and the daughter looks
him in the face and is like, there you are.
(27:57):
You're back, and you know, she's got her dad back
that she had before. And he's he's made that switch.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
He's made the switch.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
He's fully understood, he's fully grasped what this life.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Really took a lot to try and fail. He had
to shift his identity, become a different version of him
that could solve the story problem. And he is happy
with his life. He's working for his father in laws
selling tires, living in New Jersey, and he thinks that
that is a great deal for him. So his daughter
comes in a little bit later on our tricycle and
she rings that bell that don Cheatle gave him. So
(28:31):
what are you doing ringing the bell? It's like you
gave me this bell that it's great and he knows.
You can see it in his face. He's like, oh no,
the spell's broken. So after that, he runs into don
Cheedle on the street and he knows his time short
and he begs like, don't send me back. Don't send
me back to the fleet, Mignon, don't send me back
to the limo. Let me stay here, and don Chetle's like,
(28:52):
you only get a glimpse, buddy, this is your glimpse.
And he knows his time is short, and he spends it.
He says goodbye to his family, one person at a time.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Even the dog, even the dog. Takes a dog for
a walk and takes him off the leash and lets
him run by.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
See you, yeah, hangs out with the baby, hangs out
with the daughter, and last but not least with his
wife Kate. And he knows that he's going to wake
up alone, so he tries. He stays up all night
just watching her sleep. She's there on the bed and
he's in the chair just watching her, and you could
see him fight stay awake. He's like, no, no, I can't.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
He and before that he had said, I need you
to remember, I need you to remember. He's begging her
to remember.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
He's like trying to prime her before it's gone, Like,
don't forget that this could be us.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Yeah, this is full mental bracket.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
And he wakes up alone in his huge apartment and
the silence is deafening.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Yeah, so quiet, and he he is broken hearted.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
He's no longer content.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
I mean, it would be like losing your whole family
in a car accident. He has lost everything that he
that he truly fell in love with in this glimpse, and.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
He was stunned. He's just wandering around. He gets a
call from the office. Remember that in emergency meeting on
Christmas Day? We're all here. Where are you? He shows up,
doesn't even get dressed. He doesn't even doesn't even get dressed.
He doesn't he's still like he's still in his jammi's.
He shows up and it's like it's a crisis. It's
a crisis, Like it's just it's just dollars in business.
(30:27):
We won't be out of business tomorrow. We'll just miss
this deal. Yeah whatever, Okay, do what you gotta do.
And he just walks out and doesn't He's like, yeah,
I'm gonna get on a plane and go to go
to Denver and smooths him, like, no, I'm not. He
gets in the limo and he's like, where's Kate. Let's
go talk to her. He's just all about reclaiming his life.
And so he goes and he finds Kate in real
life Kate, and come to find out she only called
(30:48):
him because she's moving to Paris. She's moving to Paris. Yeah,
she only called him because she's leaving town.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Yeah. She wants to give him back a box of
his old stuff.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Yeah, it's like, I didn't really miss you. Here's a
bunch of junk of yours. I had take it back
because I'm going to Paris. And he's stunned. He's like,
well this is I'm like, you're here in town. I
was gonna smooth you. I was going to romance you.
It is going to be all, oh no, I'm going
to Paris. It's gone. So she leaves and he's got
to think more about his life again. He's like, I
can have anything I want, and nothing I want is here.
I'm rich, I'm powerful, and it's all empty. And so
(31:23):
as he's trying to chase her, you see him lonely
in the limo and then as I hinted to you
before this other movie dawns on him. It's like, this
is a wonderful life in reverse. He's lived his whole
life in Potterville, and only until he goes to Bedford
Falls does he realize how crappy Potterville is. He thought
it was this is great, this is awesome, and then
(31:43):
he's like, oh, there's people I should love you, and
there's real things and it's more than just business and money.
Oh this this sucks. And so it's it's basically a
wonderful life in reverse, complete with the bell. Yes, I
don't know don Gil got his wings or whatever, but
there was a bell ringing, and people change dimensions and
they saw their life different versions of their life. And
he was back, and he was he was able to
(32:05):
get another shot, which is more than some of us
get to. The second chance is really a wonderful thing.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
So he chases her to the airport.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
This movie goes back to the airport. Start the air airport.
He was leaving chasing money instead of love, and this
time he's chasing her to the airport. She's chasing some
money in Paris, and he's like, you got to stop,
and he embarrasses himself. He haulers out across the airport.
I had this dream we were in love, we had kids,
and it's just like his whole image, his whole cool
(32:34):
is just gone.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Yep, maybe it was just a dream.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
It's like, but just he negotiates with her. All his business,
negotiating steal comes down to this one conversation. Just have
one cup of coffee with me, talk to you, and
you can catch the next plane. Just talk to me.
That's all I want. Yes, And then that's how the movie.
The movie, much like to Shawshank, he doesn't show what
the conversation is. They just pull the camera back and
the magical snow is slowing kind of illustrates that there's
(33:01):
a change moment in the storyline. This would be their
change moment. You have no idea what they're talking about,
and the camera just pulls out and we just got
to assume that somehow they figured it out. Yeah, which
is I think is better because I was trying earlier.
It is like, can you mention that conversation that wouldn't
sound like a Hallmark movie. You need to leave the
big city and raise Christmas trees with me or something
like that. There's no way that they would actually sell. Like,
(33:23):
just let it be silent. We'll fill in the dialogue
with our brain and then insert something amazing right here.
Oh you do love me. I don't know what you
just said, but it's amazing. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
So it's kind of like it feels like that that
that moment too in Groundhog Day where he finally gets it.
He's not trying to get everything for himself. He's he understood,
he's learned. He's gone through this day over and over
and over again, and he's finally learned how to be
a good human being and to really care about other people,
which brings us to the takeaways.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Some takeaways. Yes, so we've got some questions for you.
How balanced is your porto? Have you invested in relational
wealth or are you focused more on wealth and status?
Speaker 2 (34:06):
How balanced is your tribe? Remember I've talked about before
how you want to be Just like in the movie
where he had a friend who was helping him, you
want to have people in your life who are further
along in the journey than you so that they can
help you. And then you also want to have people
that you're helping who aren't as far along in the
(34:27):
journey as you are. Are you speaking into the lives
of those people who are not as far along? And
are you listening to those people who are further along anymore?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
And they don't acts it to be older than you.
They could be like the daughter and here's your line,
yesing this up? Yes, yes, all right, and like the
two versions of Jack, our decision shape who we become?
Where are your current decisions leading you? And is it
a place that you want to go? That's all we
have for you this time. We'll be back soon with
another episode. Thank you for joining us, Thank you, and goodbye, goodbye.
Speaker 4 (35:04):
Full Mental Bracket podcast hosted by Bret Diggs. Logo by
Colby Osborne, Music by Steven Akinson. Learn more at Fullmantalbracket
dot com.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
This is the Full Mental Bracket
Most people think they know what success looks like, money, status, fame,
But what if following that definition leads you to someplace
you don't want to be. Today we're looking at the
film The Family Man and what that tells us about
the need for relationship, defining your own success, and what
true wealth really looks like. I'm Brent Diggs and this
is the full mental Bracket. We're science and storytelling meat
(00:26):
to help you level up and tell a better story
with your life. Happy time, Perry Bracketeers, and welcome back today.
We're going to talk about the two thousand film The
Family Man. Not to be confused with Family Guy, that
(00:48):
would be a different difference altogether. This is a film,
once again from the year two thousand. It's got Nicholas Cage,
it's got Tia Leoni, it's got great people's. I hate
to say it, it's a romance. Don't hang up now,
but it's a good one. It's not as well known
as some of the other films we've covered, but it's
still a good one and we really like it.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
It's fabulous. It's a life story, it's a life lesson.
We talk a lot on here about how to build
a better story, and this is one angle that he
decides to go with.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Actually, I'm gonna walk that back a little bit. It's
pretends to be a romance, but it's kind of a
science fiction fantasy in there. You've got alternate dimensions, you
get time machines, you get stuff. You got. Yeah, you
just got to watch through it. Yes, it's as if
the Hallmark Channel got a hold of a good set. No,
it's not that bad. I mean, it's not that wonderful.
That's what I meant to say.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Let's not talk about Homemark.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Let's not go there, all right, So this film starts
with the flashback from nineteen eighty seven. For some of you,
that was a long time ago. For some of us,
that really wasn't all that long after. So and we
have these characters. We have and Kate in the airport
and they're saying they're goodbyes.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And Kate really doesn't want him to leave. She's got
this bad feeling. She doesn't want him to go. She
keeps telling him please don't go. I know we talked
about this, and Jack's like, Hey, we already covered this.
I'm going this is what we talked about. This is
our future. It's only a year. I'm gonna go. She's like, no,
don't do it, you need to stay here. I got
(02:25):
a bad feeling about this. I choose us.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
So Jack is on his way to London for his
big business break. These two we presume are college sweethearts,
and this is their big moment. He's got his big break.
He needs to fly to London and get this big
financial job. She's like, hey, we could just you could
just stay here. But you feel like he hears you
could just settle. And this kind of comes out later
as they're different definitions of success roll out through this film.
(02:53):
But he considers it for a second and then he
leaves and gets on that plane. It's like, oh, it's
only for a year. I'll come back and we'll have
her happily after. And he never returns.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
No, no, he does not.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
So then we flash forward to the current day of
two thousand.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Right, and he's made it big. He's a big businessman,
and he's got all the parks. He's got this great apartment,
he's got girls, he's in his own career mind, very successful.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yeah. We watch him as he wakes up in a
very huge New York apartment with a one night stand
a girl he can barely remember her name, and he's
living large in his own little world. He comes to work,
has a huge office, a huge staff. He's the president
of the company. They're doing this huge merger acquisition, big
business ee thing. They're all salivating about the money that
they're going to make. He's going to get a promotion,
(03:47):
I guess, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
And they're going to work through Christmas, because that's what
you do when you're just considered, you know, making money.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah. It's kind of setting itself up to be kind
of a Christmas movie. He's kind of playing the Scrooge.
All Right, We're going to show up on Christmas Day
and do some emergency planning session and all the business
people are like, you know, we have families, right, It's like, well,
that was your first mistake. We're here about the money.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
So Jack Jack Campbell is the last one to leave
on Christmas Eve and he walks into a local convenience
store that's in the middle of an armed robbery. The
van was upset about a lottery ticket.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
He was trying to turn in a lottery ticket that
had some numbers rubbed off, and the guy behind the counter,
the cashier didn't want to give him the money, and
Jack stepped in and was like, no, here, I'll write
you check how much is it. I'll give you the
money right now, and nobody has to get hurt.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
So the supposed arm robber is Don Cheatle war Machine
from the Ironman movies. He's a great guy and come
to find out, this was all a test. The people upstairs,
whoever that is, were really impressed with how he bravely
handled the arm robbery. He says, hey, Jack just handles
it coldly like a business transaction. Listen, you want money,
I want I want to come out of here and
one piece. You want two hundred dollars for a lottery ticket,
(04:57):
I'll buy your lottery ticket. Here's two hundred dollars. It's
a very cold blood of transaction. And when everyone else
is freaking out, he's just like, this is his business.
Let's do it.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
And then as they're walking down the street, you know,
Don Chetle says, hey, so you know, it's like, what
are you up to doing? You know? Jack says, well,
everybody needs something, and Don Cheedle says what do you need?
And Jack says, I don't need anything. It's like, man,
it must be great to be you, to not need anything.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Just remember you brought this on you.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Remember you brought this on yourself. It's like, what is
that all about? What does he talking this cryptic stuff?
And so he walks through this magical snow this magical
snowstore comes, he walks into his apartment and then he
goes to sleep.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
He should never have gone this line.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
And when he wakes up, everything has changed. The shift hit. Yes,
we've been already introduced the protagonist. It is Jack, Jack Campbell.
He's driving his life. He's like a cold, efficient shark.
He's got everything he ever wondered from life, except for
the girl. He didn't never miss her, just climbing that
corporate ladder, being smoothing and being super successful and bathing
(05:59):
in money, and except for He wakes up the next
day and he's got a family.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
He wakes up in bed and his old girlfriend Kate
is his wife, and he has two children and a
dog and a dog that he has to take care
of on Christmas morning, and he's trying to figure out
what's going on and completely loses it. He freaks. He
totally freaks out, kind of like Captain Picard did.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
In the episode of Inner Light in season five of
the Next Generation Captain Picard, he gets how they find
a probe, and the probe kind of attaches itself to him,
and then he ends up in another life on another planet.
He's got a wife and he's he's computer and program,
(06:56):
computer and program.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
He's cross examining everybody, who who are you? I'm your wife?
No really, who are you? What kind of romulent spy
are you? Am?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
I a prisoner? Am I afraid to go?
Speaker 1 (07:05):
And he lives some sixty or seventy years in somebody
else's life and he grows quite happy with it, and
he has kids and grandkids, and honestly, it's kind of
the only family Prick Card ever ends up having, because
he's like this career man. And then eventually he wakes
up and he's kind of shaken.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
He has only been gone for twenty five minutes.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Yeah, he's been shaken, and so this.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Is sixty years for him, So he doesn't he doesn't
realize that, you know, how long have I been gone? Well,
twenty five minutes, Well that's he lived an entire lifetime
in those twenty five minutes.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
So something very similar is happening in this movie. I
told you was I told you it was sci fi.
You didn't believe me. So he wakes up in somebody
else's life. It's actually kind of also like the show
Dark Matter, which we won't spoil for you, but it's
about alternate timelines of dimensions and how a big decision
can change your whole life and end up creating multiple
versions of you and comes I'll find out there was
(07:58):
a different version of Jack, who didn't I jump on
the plane, who stayed home with Kate, who raised a family,
And then Jack wakes up in this guy's life.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Well, he did get on the plane, it's just that
he got a return ticket and he came and he
came back. He changed his mind, Yeah, he changed his
mind the very next day and he came back.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
But the point for this is that he didn't get
this gentle introduction he got. He got introduced with an
elbow to the ribs, the babies crying, Go get the baby.
He's like, what's the baby? Where am I? What am
I doing here? Why is my apartment so small? Why
are these people screaming? Why is it Christmas? Why do
I have in laws? Be the bad part he's hit
it out the door and his in laws are coming in.
(08:35):
It's like, oh, it just gets worse. So he freaks out.
He storms out on Christmas Day, trying to make sense
of his life. He goes back to his old work.
No one remembers him. He's like, I'm the boss, I
own this place. Like you're a bum in your pajamas,
please leave. Yeah, And nobody remembers him. And on the
way home he meets Don Cheatle. Don Cheatle is driving
Jack's sports car, So remember you brought this on yourself.
(08:57):
It's like, how long is this going to take? It's like,
as long as it takes, you're gonna this is a glimpse.
You're getting a glimpse of a life, and it's gonna
take as long as it takes.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
And the poor guy, he tricks him to get him
out of the guard.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
He does, and he hands him a bell, a little
bicycle bell in a bag. But it kind of feels
like Groundhog Days, Like, oh, it feels very much depending
on how big of a jerk you are. Is how
long this is gonna take? Yes, So on his way home,
Jack discovers that in this life he has a best
friend and the best friend finds him. He finds them
all wandering around. He's like, he thinks he's having a
midlife crisis. He's like, yeah, who hasn't woke up and said,
(09:31):
how did I get these kids? Where did this all
come from? This happens to all of us, Dude, it
was just your turn. And he offers Jack what alternate
Jack the advice to alternate Jack had given him. He's like,
he says, remember how good your life is. Don't screw
up the best thing in your life just because you're
a little unsure of who you are. And Jack is
literally unsure of who he is. He's like, who I
am not the guy that has this life. But I
(09:53):
mean that's a good point. It's like a lot of
us in our everyday life in real world, is that
sometimes we lose track of who we are and we
start doing things that are out of characteristic for ourselves.
We make some bad decisions or do some crazy things
because we forget that we're not the kind of person
who does that sort of thing.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
This is full mental bracket. When he gets home, Kate
is crying. She's worried. She's been calling hospitals. Where were you?
Where were you, and he he just he's trying. He's
just trying to wrap his brain around this whole alternate
universe that he's in. And of course, because she doesn't
(10:35):
know anything about it, she's she's just concerned that her
husband's been gone, and so's She says, Oh, you just
want to stay here, Okay, that's fine, call them and
we won't. You can have the kids.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
I don't want to go to a party, Well you
can babysit. Then I want to go to the party.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Want to go to the party.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
See he's learning fast, he really is. But when he
comes home, he gets his first taste of how his
life innerties with the people around him. Everyone's he disappeared,
and he didn't anticipate that everyone's going to freak out.
They're worried about him. I mean, in his other life,
apparently no one ever worries about him. You know, you
go home on Friday, you show up on Monday, nobody
knows what you did, Nobody cares. You're just this business cog.
(11:15):
Everyone is worried about him. They're calling the police, they're
trying to find him. And he's just like, oh, it
never occurred to me that this tantrum was going to
have effects on everyone around me. His wife also seems
to think that he's having a midlife crisis. She just
kind of rolls with this surprisingly well she does. His
daughter's the only one was really on. His daughter thinks
he's been abducted by aliens or somethings.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
The aliens have got you.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
So it's kind of a cool storytelling technique is that
he has no clue what he's doing in this life,
so he always goes to his daughter, and his daughter
fills him and this is where you do this. This
is where you say this, This is where you're supposed
to do this is today's your anniversary. Don't screw this up.
You know, today's her birthday. Don't do They're like, oh,
that's right, that's right. And so he's got a little
prompter in the wings giving him his lines so he
doesn't screw it up too badly. Yeah, should be a
(11:58):
whole different movie.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
The kid that was this wasn't this wasn't her mask.
That's not the same guy. Soone's taking my dad and
replaced me with a dumber vision. And I need to
help help you learn in a hurry. He goes from
being a captain of Wall Street to working for his
father in law at Big Ed's Tires.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Go Big Ed.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
He's like, I mean, there's nothing cats selling tires, But
I mean, if you feel like you're going to like
this million dollar merger, and it's like, what's it going
to take to put you into these white walls, these
steel radio And that's like, what have I done? Where
have I gone wrong? And he has several of those
questions for himself, and.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
He gets the paper cup out of the drawer with alcohols.
I must have needed you every minute.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
That's a swallo of whiskey. He's like, this guy was
drinking every day to live with his life because he
thinks that this is a bad life. This is the
conflict that we're going to come into later in this movie.
Is that because they're not living high on the hog.
Because people don't call him sir and open the door,
open the limo for him and pay him huge checks,
he must be a failure because that's how he measures success.
(13:00):
But as should be no surprise to listeners of this show,
that is not the only way to define success and
often not the healthiest way to define success. That's correct,
So he has some trifils some adjustment pains. He has
a temper tantrum in the department store. They go to
the department store. Yeah, I can kind of empathize with this.
It's like I don't actually need anything from the store,
(13:22):
but I'm going to walk with the family and we're
going to stop at every single store and get an
ic and everything else and take what could be a
twenty minute errand and spend three hours on it. And
he finally snaps and he's it's like, how could you
do this to me? How could you inflict this family
on me? He says out loud in front of the
department store, with everyone staring at him. It's like, you
(13:42):
did this to me?
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Yeah, he really has He really has a complete meltdown
in this store. It's really embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I mean, that's the thing. Case he finds a suit,
he's like, oh, this will look like this would look
good on me. It's to be part of my whole,
my old life. And it's like, there's no way we
can afford that, like this, this is your new life
in which we live on crumbs. And that was kind
of it snaps for him and he throws a fit.
Now it's easy to think that he's a selfish bum
because he's acting like a selfish bum. But I at
(14:11):
least can kind of feel for him. I feel like
my life. I think the reason why I liked this movie,
although as a general rule I don't really care for romances,
is that this one feels like it kind of parallels
our story to a significant amount, you know, because I
was a huge wall state gun. No no, I wasn't
no no.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
But where are you going with this?
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Well, we got married really young, and we had kids
really really young, and you know, I had this plan
to go to college and be an architect, and I was,
you know, I was going to have the satisfying job.
And you know, I wasn't that I didn't have limos
or anything, but it was going to be this job
that I loved and it was going to pay well.
And all that kind of went out the window. And
then I was in the military, and then I was
driving forkliffs and we were buying diapers, and all my
(14:52):
friends were going out and partying, and I was babysitting.
And more than once I said, how did this happen
to me? Where are the choices that led to this?
And were they the best choices available to me. You know,
I had to sit there with myself and it's like,
do I do I regret this? I'm like, no, I don't.
These My wife is amazing, these kids are amazing. But
it doesn't stop. It doesn't stop the adjustment and the struggle.
(15:16):
It's like, I still feel in certain areas of my
life I'm missing out because we're having to budget so
hard and scrimp so hard and sacrifice so many things
for things that honestly were more important. But you're also
younger and less developed in those times, so it's like
I really want to have fun at party. It's like, well,
this is where you need to sacrifice. It's unfair that
you're so broke when you're so young. It seems like
it almos should be the other way around. It's like
(15:37):
I need all these things. I mean, I think we
mentioned on the podcast before I had this money set
aside to buy a car stereo and you said, no,
the baby needs a car seat. I'm like, how many
speakers does a car seat have? I was really crushed.
Looking back now from mature me, I look like a
total idiot, But at the time it's like I never
(15:57):
get nice things. These kids are always need something, and
I had a little I had a little jack Worthy
temper tantrum there outside of toys r us I remember.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Yeah, well, I think to be fair, I mean, Jack
built up this life and he worked hard to create
this version of him before he got switched over into
the family man. And that would be a huge adjustment
for anybody to go from one lifestyle that you're used
to a completely different lifestyle overnight. It wasn't. It wasn't
(16:32):
just like, oh I made a decision and then this
thing happened, and I wish I had made this decision.
It was like years. Yeah, And it would be I
don't know, I guess it would be similar to you
and I if somebody flipped a switch and you know,
you woke up as an architect without a family, and
you're like, wait a minute, I where's my grandkids? Like
(16:55):
what just happened?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
You know, so if you can kind of look at
it the opposite direction.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
And more to the point, where are my socks? Because
I can't find them? About you? Oh, never mind. Yes,
there's a lot there would be a lot of adjustments
that would need to be made, Yes, you know, And
so Jack and Kate have a series of conversations about
what defines success. They talk about their different definitions of
(17:22):
what's valuable and meaningful. For him, it's money and status.
For her, it's family, friends and connection. And he keeps
mumbling to himself that his wife must be ashamed of
him because he's not making enough money. He continues to
project that judgment on her because that's how he thinks.
He doesn't ask her about it, They don't calibrate their judgments.
He just keeps assuming that there's no other way to
(17:44):
look at the world than the way that he's looked
at it his whole life.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
And she doesn't feel that way at all. She's content,
she's a pro bonal lawyer. She is serving her community,
her family, her friends. And they end it up at
He ended up with the job at Big Eds because
Big Ed had had the heart attack, and so he
had to step in and take over, and he wasn't
(18:08):
able to continue to pursue his career at that point
because he needed to help the family in a moment
of crisis, which is which is what we do in life.
I mean, we're gonna we're gonna help our family. We're
gonna step in in these in these trying times. So
then he's starting to get an understanding. He's starting to
get a picture. He's starting to get an understanding of
(18:30):
why he's working at Big Ed Tires as opposed to
going onto in into the Wall Street world like he
wanted to, and it helps him to kind of come
to grips and comes to terms with where he's at.
Not that he accepts it, but but he's now getting
an understanding.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Of how I got here.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Yes, this is full mental bracket.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
In the Hero's Journey, we talk a lot about how
the character needs to enter the special world, and for Jack,
the special world is suburban family life. Jack is a
high powered guy. He's efficient, cold like a shark. He
knows how to do business, but he doesn't know how
to do people. And like in our episode twenty two
with Cars the movie Cars, it's like regular life is
(19:17):
the special world where these fancy hot shots have to
actually learn how to be regular people because they're too
busy being big shots. And for Jack it's no exception.
So after some trying and failing and a lot of frustration,
Jack tries to fall back into his old lifestyle of.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Yeah, he hasn't fully he hasn't fully accepted where he's
at yet, or that this life he doesn't think it matters.
He's like, no, I'm not really married. I can flirt
with this girl over here, and I can make plans
to have an affair with her because it doesn't count
because I'm not really married. Because he still hasn't bought
into he still hasn't fully accepted that this is his life.
(19:54):
And so his friend comes back and helps him understand, Look,
we had this convers We've had this conversion. You and
I have had this conversation. You told me, and why
would you screw this up? Kate? Every man in this
city would would kill to be with Kate.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Yeah, he's trying to have an affair and try to
drown his pain. And his friend grabs him and he says,
why would you screw up the best thing in your life.
He's like everyone envies what you guys have, and here
you are about to screw it up because you feel
bad about yourself, Like, wake up, this is a good friend.
You need something like this in your tribe. If you're
(20:33):
going off the cliff, you don't want someone to say,
well you do you You're like, whoa hold on. You
are about to destroy You're not about to implode your life.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
The car's going off the cliff to book, You're about
to explode your life.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
A real friend will stop you and warn you and say, hey,
are you sure you want to do this? Because this
is the dumbest thing I've ever seen you do. Don't
do it, and I've seen you do a few dumb things,
but this is setting records.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Don't do this, dude, don't do it.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
So he interested like he's got a different kind of wealth.
He's like, you have a family and a wife and
a whole life that people would kill for, and you're
willing to throw that away. He's like, this is not
just a relationship. This is an investment that you need
to protect, and gets kind of like he doesn't say
that so many words, you know, but Jack is a
financial guy. He's like, oh, investments, I can do this. So,
(21:21):
as Jack's trying to figure out his old life, he
watches these old videotapes.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Yeah, he's at a birthday party with on the tape, Yeah,
on the tape, he's at the birthday party and he's
singing to his wife and he's sharing his love and
he can actually get a visual now of the person
that he is in this timeline, how he got to
that point and basically sees this other version of himself
(21:49):
and is starting to is starting to think about it,
starting to put the pieces together, starting to go, oh,
this is something that I really do value.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Yeah. I mean, the old version of him was not
afraid to sing out loud and sing off key in
front of all of the neighbors. He wasn't this dignified
business person. And as he watches this video, he can
see the local flirt girl he was going to have
an affair with. She's staring at him hungrily, but he
only has eyes for Kate. She is his whole world
(22:23):
and you can see that in the video. And he
goes back and learns from this previous episode in his life.
I think we can all do this too. I mean,
maybe not roll back the VCR and see how our
life played out. But there's a thing I'm thinking about.
I'm calling it like it's storymining. Where like when you
face an obstacle like haven't I face something like this before?
Didn't I do something similar to this before? And sometimes
(22:43):
oftentimes you find that you have the skills you have
the perseverance. You just don't recognize how similar this new
problem is to an old problem that you solved before.
And this is a perfect visual of that. He's watching,
literally watching his old life, going, oh, I was crazy
about her and I wasn't afraid to show it. Absolutely,
he realizes that he'd never stopped loving her. You know.
(23:05):
They have these conversations and he's starting to buy in
more in his new life, and he talks about his
old life. He's like, I was so sure of what
I wanted, I knew who I was, I was so driven,
But it was all about him. I mean, there's no
other significant people in his life. I mean at the
beginning of the movie when he gets he gets a
call from Kate in the real world. It hadn't heard
(23:28):
from her in twenty years or something like that, and
he's like, yeah, that was my old flame. I almost
married her, and the like the secretary of barsat laughing
you get married because he's such a different person, like
I can't even imagine you married. You're so driven by
your own agenda. How would you possibly share your own life?
And so he gets flung in this new life. He
gets flung in the deep end. I hope you can
(23:48):
swim gone laughing you did this to yourself.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Well, I still think he's still very I think that
he's starting to accept this is his wife, that he
has kids, that he has a dog, but he still
doesn't accept the business end of the version of him
that he's living in. For the anniversary, he takes her
out and he takes her to a high end restaurant.
(24:15):
They go to this fancy hotel and he is trying
to show her kind of the side of him that
he wanted to be and that he was in his
old version, and he's trying to trying to show her
like this is actually this is actually good too, not
(24:36):
just this other version.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Right. He's like, this is the good life. And it
kind of backfires on him because she says she looks
at the room service and everything waiting on him. He's like,
can you imagine your whole life for everything was this easy?
And he's like, not, yes, I absolutely can imagine that
would be great. And she points out something that's not
new to people that listen to this show is that
a meaningful life takes struggle. The things that come easy
(24:59):
don't feel meaningful, they don't last they don't satisfy you,
just if you don't have to work for something. It's
just one flash of happiness and then it's gone. And
she's onto that. She's like investing in this family, losing
some sleep, losing some money, doing what's right for these kids,
working on our relationship. The struggle is part of what
makes it valuable. And he's starting to figure.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
He's starting to glimmer. Yeah, he's starting to figure it out.
Glimmer and the glimpse. I like that. But then, you know,
back back to you know, big ed Tires. His old
boss comes through, has a has a blowout and comes
(25:41):
into the shop, and so he starts to to talk
with him and gets invited to the city to go
and see his old boss and try, I guess, try
to win a job.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
And he's very successful. He's still got the skill. He
remembers all the details of the business. So suddenly he's
a stranger with this great insight on what they need
for their business. And he gets a deal. He gets
a contract, he finagles it. He doesn't tell his wife.
He surprises his wife. Hey, guess what, I'm now super
successful and we can move to the city and we
can finally have the life that we deserve. And she
(26:19):
does not take that.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Well, no, she pretty much says, but I thought we were.
I saw us growing old in this house together. I
saw us raising our kids, having our grandkids here, working
on the back porch together. I saw our whole life here.
We've invested in this life, and I saw our whole
life here. But if this is what you need to
(26:41):
make you happy, yeah, then I support you because I
choose us.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Yeah. There's two powerful lines in that scene. This is
like the best scene of the whole movie, because he
says we could finally have a life that other people envy,
you know, riches and fame, and she says they already do.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
It's the echo of the best friend. Stupid, stupid, you
have the best life of anybody I know, and you're
still not happy with it, you know, in the loving
way that best friends. It's like, hey, dummy, pull your
head out, focus, you know. And he just stops, like
they do envy me, and she's like, you know, and
he's just he's stunned. She's like, I will give up
(27:20):
everything that I love that I think is important, my career,
the schools, the community, all the friends that we have
and pack it up and go to the city for
you if you need this, because I love you that much,
I'll give up everything for you. And it just stuns him.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Yeah, And the next morning when she wakes up, she
hears outside the laughter. And he's outside playing with his
daughter in the snow, in the snow, and she hears
the laughter, and she hears it, and the daughter looks
him in the face and is like, there you are.
(27:57):
You're back, and you know, she's got her dad back
that she had before. And he's he's made that switch.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
He's made the switch.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
He's fully understood, he's fully grasped what this life.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Really took a lot to try and fail. He had
to shift his identity, become a different version of him
that could solve the story problem. And he is happy
with his life. He's working for his father in laws
selling tires, living in New Jersey, and he thinks that
that is a great deal for him. So his daughter
comes in a little bit later on our tricycle and
she rings that bell that don Cheatle gave him. So
(28:31):
what are you doing ringing the bell? It's like you
gave me this bell that it's great and he knows.
You can see it in his face. He's like, oh no,
the spell's broken. So after that, he runs into don
Cheedle on the street and he knows his time short
and he begs like, don't send me back. Don't send
me back to the fleet, Mignon, don't send me back
to the limo. Let me stay here, and don Chetle's like,
(28:52):
you only get a glimpse, buddy, this is your glimpse.
And he knows his time is short, and he spends it.
He says goodbye to his family, one person at a time.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Even the dog, even the dog. Takes a dog for
a walk and takes him off the leash and lets
him run by.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
See you, yeah, hangs out with the baby, hangs out
with the daughter, and last but not least with his
wife Kate. And he knows that he's going to wake
up alone, so he tries. He stays up all night
just watching her sleep. She's there on the bed and
he's in the chair just watching her, and you could
see him fight stay awake. He's like, no, no, I can't.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
He and before that he had said, I need you
to remember, I need you to remember. He's begging her
to remember.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
He's like trying to prime her before it's gone, Like,
don't forget that this could be us.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Yeah, this is full mental bracket.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
And he wakes up alone in his huge apartment and
the silence is deafening.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Yeah, so quiet, and he he is broken hearted.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
He's no longer content.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
I mean, it would be like losing your whole family
in a car accident. He has lost everything that he
that he truly fell in love with in this glimpse, and.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
He was stunned. He's just wandering around. He gets a
call from the office. Remember that in emergency meeting on
Christmas Day? We're all here. Where are you? He shows up,
doesn't even get dressed. He doesn't even doesn't even get dressed.
He doesn't he's still like he's still in his jammi's.
He shows up and it's like it's a crisis. It's
a crisis, Like it's just it's just dollars in business.
(30:27):
We won't be out of business tomorrow. We'll just miss
this deal. Yeah whatever, Okay, do what you gotta do.
And he just walks out and doesn't He's like, yeah,
I'm gonna get on a plane and go to go
to Denver and smooths him, like, no, I'm not. He
gets in the limo and he's like, where's Kate. Let's
go talk to her. He's just all about reclaiming his life.
And so he goes and he finds Kate in real
life Kate, and come to find out she only called
(30:48):
him because she's moving to Paris. She's moving to Paris. Yeah,
she only called him because she's leaving town.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Yeah. She wants to give him back a box of
his old stuff.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Yeah, it's like, I didn't really miss you. Here's a
bunch of junk of yours. I had take it back
because I'm going to Paris. And he's stunned. He's like,
well this is I'm like, you're here in town. I
was gonna smooth you. I was going to romance you.
It is going to be all, oh no, I'm going
to Paris. It's gone. So she leaves and he's got
to think more about his life again. He's like, I
can have anything I want, and nothing I want is here.
I'm rich, I'm powerful, and it's all empty. And so
(31:23):
as he's trying to chase her, you see him lonely
in the limo and then as I hinted to you
before this other movie dawns on him. It's like, this
is a wonderful life in reverse. He's lived his whole
life in Potterville, and only until he goes to Bedford
Falls does he realize how crappy Potterville is. He thought
it was this is great, this is awesome, and then
(31:43):
he's like, oh, there's people I should love you, and
there's real things and it's more than just business and money.
Oh this this sucks. And so it's it's basically a
wonderful life in reverse, complete with the bell. Yes, I
don't know don Gil got his wings or whatever, but
there was a bell ringing, and people change dimensions and
they saw their life different versions of their life. And
he was back, and he was he was able to
(32:05):
get another shot, which is more than some of us
get to. The second chance is really a wonderful thing.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
So he chases her to the airport.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
This movie goes back to the airport. Start the air airport.
He was leaving chasing money instead of love, and this
time he's chasing her to the airport. She's chasing some
money in Paris, and he's like, you got to stop,
and he embarrasses himself. He haulers out across the airport.
I had this dream we were in love, we had kids,
and it's just like his whole image, his whole cool
(32:34):
is just gone.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Yep, maybe it was just a dream.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
It's like, but just he negotiates with her. All his business,
negotiating steal comes down to this one conversation. Just have
one cup of coffee with me, talk to you, and
you can catch the next plane. Just talk to me.
That's all I want. Yes, And then that's how the movie.
The movie, much like to Shawshank, he doesn't show what
the conversation is. They just pull the camera back and
the magical snow is slowing kind of illustrates that there's
(33:01):
a change moment in the storyline. This would be their
change moment. You have no idea what they're talking about,
and the camera just pulls out and we just got
to assume that somehow they figured it out. Yeah, which
is I think is better because I was trying earlier.
It is like, can you mention that conversation that wouldn't
sound like a Hallmark movie. You need to leave the
big city and raise Christmas trees with me or something
like that. There's no way that they would actually sell. Like,
(33:23):
just let it be silent. We'll fill in the dialogue
with our brain and then insert something amazing right here.
Oh you do love me. I don't know what you
just said, but it's amazing. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
So it's kind of like it feels like that that
that moment too in Groundhog Day where he finally gets it.
He's not trying to get everything for himself. He's he understood,
he's learned. He's gone through this day over and over
and over again, and he's finally learned how to be
a good human being and to really care about other people,
which brings us to the takeaways.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Some takeaways. Yes, so we've got some questions for you.
How balanced is your porto? Have you invested in relational
wealth or are you focused more on wealth and status?
Speaker 2 (34:06):
How balanced is your tribe? Remember I've talked about before
how you want to be Just like in the movie
where he had a friend who was helping him, you
want to have people in your life who are further
along in the journey than you so that they can
help you. And then you also want to have people
that you're helping who aren't as far along in the
(34:27):
journey as you are. Are you speaking into the lives
of those people who are not as far along? And
are you listening to those people who are further along anymore?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
And they don't acts it to be older than you.
They could be like the daughter and here's your line,
yesing this up? Yes, yes, all right, and like the
two versions of Jack, our decision shape who we become?
Where are your current decisions leading you? And is it
a place that you want to go? That's all we
have for you this time. We'll be back soon with
another episode. Thank you for joining us, Thank you, and goodbye, goodbye.
Speaker 4 (35:04):
Full Mental Bracket podcast hosted by Bret Diggs. Logo by
Colby Osborne, Music by Steven Akinson. Learn more at Fullmantalbracket
dot com.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
This is the Full Mental Bracket
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The MeatEater Podcast
Building on the belief that a deeper understanding of the natural world enriches all of our lives, host Steven Rinella brings an in-depth and relevant look at all outdoor topics including hunting, fishing, nature, conservation, and wild foods. Filled with humor, irreverence, and things that will surprise the hell out of you, each episode welcomes a diverse group of guests who add their own expertise to the vast world of the outdoors. Part of The MeatEater Podcast Network.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by Audiochuck Media Company.