Sperm Race Betting; Foster Mom Trades Kid For Pet Monkey; & The Assassination Culture

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Everything you are about to hear is true.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
None of the names have been changed because no one
is innocent from stupidity.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
It is a great bay stupid worldlings as well, Stupid, Gray, Stupid,
way stupid.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Welcome to insane Eric Lane's stupid world.

Speaker 4 (00:32):
And if you see something stupid, say something stupid.

Speaker 5 (00:37):
And now here's the man who has given a piece
of his mind to so many people. He barely has
a mind left. The host of this stupid world, Eric Lane.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Welcome to my stupid world. I've got five stars stupidity
for you, so please rate the podcast with five stars.
My Insane Florida ne f you, Pacho Guero and I
will underwhelm you with some of the dumbest stupidity and
test your sanity with the insane game show. So relax
and let your mind go to mush as you enter
the realm of reality. It's been a really, really stupid week,

(01:13):
I'm telling you. I mean, first off, you know you
everyone knows about the governor of Pennsylvania his the governor's
mansion being firebombed because the guy didn't like Governor Shapiro.
I mean, look, I didn't vote for him, but I'm
not going to firebomb the guy's house, and I'm not
gonna do it because he's Jewish either, I mean really.

(01:35):
And then you know the seventeen year old dope that
decided to kill his parents for the for the inheritance
money so that he could use that money to overthrow
the government and assassinate the president. Well, that didn't really
play out very well, now, did it. Okay, it's just
I don't know. And then there's this new study that
has found that a majority of left of center Americans

(01:57):
believe a successful assassination against Donald Trump would be justified
in whose world or whose mind? The mind of a psychopath?
I mean, more than half of the liberals say it's
acceptable to destroy Tesla dealerships. And they also support Luigi Mangioni,
the twenty six year old man that just got convicted

(02:20):
of gunning down the United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson. This
is a survey that was under the National Contagian Research Institute.
Everybody has lost their ever love and minds. We've turned
into a banana republic, like I've said before. Now, this
particular report here by the National Contagian Research Institute, it
indicates a rising assassination culture. Can you ever, would you ever,

(02:43):
in your wildest dreams think that we have now entered
into an assassination culture. Look, we're not living in the
African Congo, all right, and my apologies to the African
Congo people, but yeah, this assassination culture is rising among

(03:05):
left leaning and individuals, the ones that have the Coexist
sticker on the back of their cars. Probably you know
what I'm saying, geez. I mean. This highlights social media's
role in just amplifying the support for political violence. The
survey found that thirty one percent of responded said that
it would be at least somewhat justified to murder Elon Musk.

(03:26):
Thirty eight percent said the same about President Trump. Well, honestly,
these are the people that preach tolerance and acceptance and diversity,
and these are the ones that can't stand diversity. They're
the ones that get riled up and want to murder
somebody if they're faced with somebody that's diverse from them.

(03:48):
Among the respondents who identified as left of center, support
for these acts was significantly higher forty eight percent in
Musk's case and fifty five percent in Trump's case. Guess
what when Joe Biden was like the president when Joe
Biden was doing crap that was totally nonsensical and I
didn't agree with it. Do you think I'm gonna go

(04:09):
out and try to put a hit job on him?
I mean really. Nearly forty percent of all respondents also
stated that destroying a Tesla dealership and protest would be
at least somewhat acceptable. You know what, maybe if you're
if you, you know, if you're one of these people
and you have your own little franchise for a game stop,

(04:31):
how about if I go and just torch all your games,
you know, just set the place on fire, you know,
because you are a left leaning idiot and you don't
need to be out there spending half the time in
your mother's basement playing Nintendo or Minecraft or Fortnite or
whatever else. So I'll burn your store down. Would that
be justified? No, of course, not unbelievable. The researchers warned

(04:54):
of this growing chance of real world escalation unless political
and cultural leaders condemned the pro violence chatter. I know
what we can do, not condemn it. Put the morons
in jail. If you guys want to do this, you're
going to jail and you're never getting out, you know,
because you can't act civilized on the social media apt
blue Sky, which I actually have a blue Sky account,

(05:16):
and I actually read some of this stuff because I
want to know what's going on. Trump critics post hateful
commentary and memes labeling Trump as evil, fascist or a Nazi. Okay,
and you know what, Look, you're free to do that, frankly,
if you want to. You're free to act like an idiot. Okay.
I don't have to read it, but I choose to
do so because I want to just see how many

(05:37):
idiots there are out there. Here's a case in point.
Like I said earlier, I refer to this at the
beginning of my little, my little rant here as I'm
giving you a piece of my mind, and I have
a big piece to hand out to people today. You
know that there's this this teenager in Wisconsin who murdered
his parents so you can use their money to assassinate
President Trump and overthow, the US government authority said the

(05:58):
seventeen year old Nikita Cassup purchase a drone and explosives
intended to be used as a weapon of mass destruction
in Wisconsin. Investigators also found his phone contacts linked to
the Order of Nine Angles, so satanic cult that the
FBI describes as promoting terrorism, violence and sexual abuse, and

(06:20):
child porn. Oh, this guy's a real hometown hero. Cassup
was arrested back in March, charged to two counts of
first agree murdered, two counts of hiding a corpse. He
hid the corpse of his parents, unbelievable. Other charges include
theft of property of over ten thousand dollars in its,
appropriating IDs to obtain money. So this is what we got, folks,

(06:42):
This is the kind of world we're living in. And frankly, frankly,
it's because they didn't get their hands slapped early enough
when they were kids, when they got into stuff they
shouldn't be. You know, honestly, when you get to be
seventeen and older and they start thinking like this, I'm
pretty short on mercy. I'm really I'm really I really am.

(07:04):
I'm really short on compassion. They don't need compassion, and
they need to They need somebody to like smack them
upside the head and lock them up for a little
bit or something I don't know, or put just put away,
remove them from society, because we don't need this kind
of pollution in our humanity honestly, And you know what,
here's what we have to do. We have to start

(07:26):
speaking up. We have to start saying something. We have
to start pushing back. You know, are you gonna stand
for this uncivilized, aboriginal type of behavior?

Speaker 6 (07:36):
This?

Speaker 1 (07:36):
Are you gonna Are you gonna stand back and let
this country literally sink into the assassination culture. Not me,
you know, not me, you know, hang up from the
highest tree, that's what it means.

Speaker 6 (07:49):
You know.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
Look, sometimes you may have to just filter things out
like this, you know, get rid of all the bad blood,
you know, just eliminate it, you know, and the death
penalty does that very well. I mean honestly, so I think,
you know, bring back the death penalty and you do
stuff like this, you're eliminated, you know, and pretty soon,

(08:10):
you know, you get rid of all those kind of
people like that, you won't have that kind of problem anymore.
You assassinate the assassination culture. That's what you do. Yeah,
just assassinated. I feel much better now. Get up close

(08:40):
and personal with my stupid world by interacting with the
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(09:01):
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(09:23):
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Speaker 7 (09:43):
Meet me in the shade of the Sunshine Tree, Pretty
little Florida sunshine Tree in the shade of a sunshine And.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
We are back once again here at my insane Florida
and nephew Pancho Guerto from the beautiful uh seaside city
of Jacksonville, Florida.

Speaker 6 (10:09):
You know, you really make Jacksonville sound soth a lot
nicer than most people think it is.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
Well, I must say, yes, it's well, I mean it's
not Orlando and certainly not Miami.

Speaker 6 (10:21):
So well, Orlando is basically like like like stale air.

Speaker 8 (10:26):
Yeah, I mean, it's there's not a breeze to be found,
there's no water.

Speaker 6 (10:30):
It's like, so I will say it's nice being by
the coast and by the river.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
Like, yeah, well that's good, that's good. So so so
based upon my rant, okay, with my piece of my mind,
where do you stand left of center or right of
center when it comes to whatever.

Speaker 6 (10:49):
Is the opposite of socialists?

Speaker 1 (10:52):
Yeah? Yeah, so I just you know, we I'm still
kind of blown away with the mentality of these people
that if they don't like with what they get in Washington,
that we're just going to justify an assassination.

Speaker 6 (11:06):
Yeah. That's wild. It's like like actual murder to get
your way. I don't know, I don't well.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
I mean, and and of course, you know, I think
we did. We mentioned last week we had the Pennsylvania
governors firebombed, had his mansion firebombed, you know, and a
guy was.

Speaker 6 (11:22):
Basically, it's all it's the socialists. They're all violent. That's
the only thing that they know.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
Oh man, you.

Speaker 6 (11:29):
Know, yeah how it works so that they could get
squshed it and then how.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
The right right right, yeah, yeah, you're right. Now check
this out. Let me see what was this. There was
the kid I think we talked about that killed both
of his parents so he could get the inheritance money
to overthrow the government and and and assassinate the president. Okay,
so we got that. He's seventeen years old. Okay, that's

(11:53):
what he's doing. And then have you heard about Carmelo Anthony?
Heard about that story?

Speaker 6 (11:59):
I recognize the name, but like, look, the kind of
things that I watch is very different than the kind
of things you watch.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
Well, true, I'm sort of like in the thick of it.
But now Carmelo Anthony, he was the dude at the
track meet who didn't get the seat he wanted, so
he just pushed a knife. And yeah, yeah, so guess what. Now,
Obviously this is a guy who literally I mean he's
a teenager, he's he's another he s likex seventeen, eighteen
years old. Stabbed another teenager in the heart. The kid

(12:28):
died in his twin brother's arms, all because he didn't
get the seat that he wanted. And so the people
are feeling sorry for the murderer, okay, and they started
a gofund me and they've raised like a half million dollars.
What does he do with the money? He goes and
buys a car and rents a really nice house and
he's living living large with money that I can't really fathom.

Speaker 6 (12:51):
I like, see, you basically incentivize the murder for everybody.

Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, so yeah, I mean I don't know what is happening,
but I think stupidity is running rampant now in this country.
It's out of control, you know, it's officially out of control.

Speaker 6 (13:05):
It almost makes me think of that that Power Ranger
wasn't like one of the old original Red Rangers ended
up killing a guy by running him through the sword. Yeah,
and then he like tried to claim it was self
defense or something. Well yeah, and somehow he got it
pled down to manslaughter instead of murder. So I don't know, Like.

Speaker 1 (13:26):
There's well this guy, this Carmelo Anthony, for anything, I guess, Well, yeah,
but Carmelo Anthony started with a million dollar bail. Now
they got the mail down to two hundred and fifty
thousand dollars and he's out now in house arrest.

Speaker 6 (13:39):
Yeah, but not just any house arrest, really really expensive
fancy house arrest, right.

Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I mean this is really crazy.

Speaker 6 (13:50):
So, I mean socialism is sounding pretty good right now
for me, actually, as long as I'm the one in control.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
Well yeah, and really it just sounds like the headlines
are probably more stupid than anything we're going to talk
about this week on the podcast.

Speaker 6 (14:04):
Well, you know, so the kind of shows that I
watch here to get paint a different picture. I really
love the genre of dubbed over Japanese game show. So
there's this show that was on back in the day,
and I didn't watch it back in the day. I
watched it like a couple of years ago, and my

(14:25):
wife and I would watch it, and thankfully she's into
this stuff with me for some reason I don't know,
but she's feminine, Like she's a feminine girl who actually
enjoys the weird things I do and watch. It's called
Extreme Elimination Challenge and it's this it's a Japanese game show,
but the whole game like you're basically like they edit

(14:47):
it down to be able to make whoever the winner
that they want, and they basically dub over all the
voices with like like bad over dubbed English and stuff,
and so they turned the whole game show into a
whole different game show. And uh, and they've got like
this backlog of plot and stuff. It's it's really funny.

(15:07):
They always start to show off like you know, all right,
well it's time to get on with the show. Let's
get and they get on and so like I'll use
let's get on and every day, you know, like with
my wife now, so like let's say it's one of
those nights and you're, you know, you're trying to gauge
whether or not you know, like she's in the mood.

(15:27):
I'm always like, so you want to get out? And
uh sometimes that works, Yeah, yeah, it always it's a
laugh out of her.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
You're you're adapting it into your own.

Speaker 6 (15:40):
Yes, it's exactly it. So that's that's what I prefer
to spend my time doing.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
You're probably better off that way because at least you
can keep your sanity.

Speaker 6 (15:50):
That's that's the whole goal. I have to keep by
in Sanity Bay watching the the opposite end of the
spectrum of insanity that.

Speaker 9 (15:58):
You're exactly exactly exactly so well, these the tickets now
officially are on sale for the Arkansas State University of
Arkansas game September six at War Memorial Stadium in Little Rock, Arkansas.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
So now the countdown is, am I a gonna be
able to find a ticket? And b am I going
to be able to find a place to stay?

Speaker 6 (16:18):
Yeah? Well this is this is like a one time
of the year where you become a sports fan.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
Yeah, one time of the year. I'm a sports nut. Okay,
So so that's well, I'm just a regular nut before
before that. But yeah, so uh and now I've been
like looking all over looking for you know, who do
I know in the Little Rock area or even I'd
fly in the Memphis and have somebody from Jonesboro, Arkansas

(16:46):
come and pick me up. I don't care. So that
this is my next big thing?

Speaker 6 (16:50):
Is uh?

Speaker 1 (16:51):
Am I able to do that? And the thing is,
here's the said part about it, because I guess War
Memorial Stadium it's kind of the center of the state
in Little Rock, but it's also the place that the
Razorbacks do play if they're not playing in Fayetteville. So
I guess, you know, most people thought this would be
like a neutral game, but no, it's actually Arkansas State

(17:13):
is the visiting team and the Razorbacks are the home team.
So Arkansas State gets like about ten thousand tickets and
that's all they get. I mean, the stadium holds about
fifty seven thousand people, but Arkansas State gets ten thousand
tickets to be able to use. So they're going to
make it available to obviously the Red Wolf Foundation members,
and then they make it available to the season ticket holders.

(17:34):
And at that point, I don't know if there's gonna
be tickets left for me to buy from Arkansas State.
So I will probably have to go through the War
Memorial ticket office and buy the ticket there because I
don't know. It's just look, even if I'm in the
end zone, I don't really care. I just want to
be in the area. I don't want to be tailgating
in the parking lot. I want to be in the state.

Speaker 6 (17:52):
So I zoned in and out about three different times
the whole thing. Yeah, but I could for some reason,
I'm mad, and you tailgating with all the college kids.

Speaker 1 (18:03):
Well, you know, I would be out there decked out.

Speaker 6 (18:05):
To the teeth and like tailgating in a way that
would make both your wife and son incredibly embarrassed to
be around. But that would probably, for some weird reason,
make you more cool for the college kids.

Speaker 1 (18:18):
Obviously. The little graphic I sent you about the coolness
you know what I'm saying, you're going on.

Speaker 6 (18:25):
The according to your coolest graph, you're way cooler than
I am right now.

Speaker 1 (18:32):
I mean this is I saw this and honestly, I
just thought this needs to go to man.

Speaker 6 (18:39):
Yeah, so I guess for the listeners. Eric Lane sent
me a coolness graph. It makes me think of the
Crazy Hot Matrix, but basically like a halfpipe. Yeah, it.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
Is how cool it is versus your age, and that's like.

Speaker 6 (18:59):
It's versu your agent. It's got like six or seven
or eight different lines in there for different different categories
of things.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
We got skateboarding. That's my favorite, because the skateboarding, that's
the halfpipe.

Speaker 6 (19:11):
It's cool when you're young, it's cool when you're old.
But when you're right in the middle, not cool, not cool.

Speaker 1 (19:16):
That's right, and you're you're getting down to the very
bottom of.

Speaker 6 (19:19):
The Yeah, it's only downhill from here until I live
long enough, and I could start as.

Speaker 1 (19:26):
Soon as you hit seventy. Then you start getting cool
again if you do skateboarding.

Speaker 6 (19:30):
Yeah, well you know what, Look I I've got some
of that might improved my cool factor for you. Okay?

Speaker 1 (19:36):
Oh is that right?

Speaker 6 (19:36):
Okay, yeah, you're gonna be jealous about this. Today I
became a new member of the FBI. Oh no, well,
female Body Inspector.

Speaker 1 (19:48):
Oh okay, well, I ask what females?

Speaker 6 (19:57):
Oh yeah, well you've seen the shirts and the hats
the guys. Yes, and yeah. I during my lunch break,
actually not even during my lunch break, right two minutes
before I had to take a phone call for work,
I see my wife come in and she basically says that,

(20:18):
you know, she's in the mood. And I was like, oh,
I realized she's in the mood for removing a tick
from her upper cap.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
So should I should I bring out the old Brad
Paisley song to check yourself for ticks?

Speaker 6 (20:35):
Yeah?

Speaker 8 (20:36):
Well she checked herself and then I had to be
the one to go in.

Speaker 6 (20:40):
You rip it off. But I will say this, I
think this still technically counts as being a female body
inspector at this point. Yeah, so I think that's resume.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
Yeah, well good. I think I'm going to overdub the
Brad Paisley song Ticks just.

Speaker 6 (20:57):
You know, uh my is terrified like any parents, but
especially ticks well freaks around. Man.

Speaker 1 (21:05):
Have you even heard the song? You know what I'm
talking about.

Speaker 6 (21:07):
I've heard a long time ago, dude. I yeah, I
don't know. The only country I listened to is Ai
generated country. Okay, that's really good.

Speaker 1 (21:19):
That's good.

Speaker 6 (21:20):
I was time I finally paid her back. I was like,
I've got one more adage to the ticks story.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
Okay, because I was gonna say, you at one point
have a tick inspection.

Speaker 6 (21:31):
That's exactly right. I uh look, I referred to it
as having to pull a tick out of my butt,
but in reality it was it was upper thigh, lower cheek.

Speaker 1 (21:41):
What maybe the ticks were attracted to that particular part.

Speaker 6 (21:44):
Of well no, but I but I noticed it will
take a shower. So I come from the shower and
I realized that, well, we'll spread like stuff around me.
I was like, oh gosh, I know what this is.
I get able to look and I'm like I know
what it is. I took it out. I'm like, yeah,
oh yeah, and it's in the spot I can't reach
it is it is at uh what it's at six

(22:05):
o'clock right. I can kind of read, but I can't.
You can't reach around and grab the so and this
thing has been there for a while, very obviously because
it's nice and plump, and so I have to get
my wife to like I based. So I'm laying down
on the bed basically like button naked out of the shower,

(22:26):
and my poor wife has to get her head basically
like right right by my butt, like right, this is
a massive tis And the whole time is like screaming.

Speaker 1 (22:37):
This is this is kind of the version of motorboarding
that you don't want her to have to do.

Speaker 6 (22:41):
No, no, no, no, no, no, no no no. I she
should not have to be that close to the butt cluffs.
I will say she did great. I mean like she did.
She had the whole thing, even the head, like there's
nothing left inside. So she got the whole thing out.
You know.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
Well, you know if then this is where if that
were happened to me, there would be I would be
praying that that would be that opportunity about the time
that they would be able to grab that tick and
pull it off. I would just be praying that the
urge would would would come upon me to pass gas.

Speaker 6 (23:14):
Oh my gosh, you know that was fantastic. This was
This is true love as it is, and I think
past able to remove the.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
Well, it would, it would. But it is good to
know that you're so intimate with each other that you're
not able to do tick removal on each other.

Speaker 6 (23:30):
Well, further phrase, female body inspecting it's got more p R.
You know it makes got more ribs?

Speaker 1 (23:38):
Well, yeah, more, you got more.

Speaker 6 (23:40):
That's rights. No weak stream or low t Oh god,
have I told you about how we've got a new
neighbor living on our deck? Did I tell you?

Speaker 1 (23:52):
I don't don't think you did?

Speaker 6 (23:54):
We think we had a bird nest in our in
our backyard on our deck that we we couldn't use
our cooler for for the birthday party for my son
from school because I realized, like so our coolers in
the corner on our deck under the canopy, I guess
the overhango of the sofa right house with the roof

(24:16):
in a and then we have like these these tents
like for kids, so they kind of fold up. They've
got like a wire frame and they fold down. We
had those like leaned up on top of the cooler
for some reason, hanging out kind of draped over the
water table because there's too many tools and equipment that's
way too large when you got a little kids. Well,
I go to, like, I know, I've seen a bird,

(24:38):
like a couple of birds really hanging around the deck
for a while. So I already figured that something was suspicious.
And I go ahead and I'm like, let me look
at the cooler, and I see this bird just come
flying out from under the like in the water table.
And I'm like, okay, all right, I've already I've already
had my suspicions. I lift up the like the tents
that were hanging over and in in like one of

(24:59):
the cut kind of yeah areas of the of the
water table, there's a drug's nest in there, like beautifully
like it looks like almost like like like symmetrical, well
very symmetrical. But also it was like, look, I I
like to like I wish I was an asshole, but
I'm not. This is like who I am. Like I
wish I was it was like it felt very enchanting

(25:22):
to see.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
I was like, and it would be too invasive for
you to take the birds.

Speaker 6 (25:27):
I didn't have the heart to do it. And my
wife loves birds, like as long as they're not in
the house. She yeah, it's a very Hispanic, uh stereotype
to have birds in your house. It's not real Mexican
or Hispanic house without birds in the house. And I've
tell you stories already about how my my mother in
law's house is like the birds sanctuary. Yes, we're never
gonna have birds in the house.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
Well, well, look, I mean, let me just tell you.
We've had two instances with birds in my family that
I guarantee it has been not very appealing. Okay. The
first one involved your mother because she was probably I
don't know, maybe like under ten years old, and discovered
that our cat, who was an outdoor cat, had found

(26:10):
a bird and luckily it was not that badly damaged
or injured, but it was in the cat's mouth. So
she went out and took the bird out of the
cat's mouth, and she's like, oh, we have a hurt bird.
And so what do you do when you have a
hurt bird? You bring it in the house, of course,
you know. And of course my mom is like, she

(26:32):
didn't even have having the cats in the house, and
she's like, you keep it right by the door. Don't
bring it anywhere else in the house. You keep it
right by the door. So and of course, you know,
your mom. My sister is gently massaging the poor little bird,
making sure that the little bird is okay. And the
little bird decided it felt pretty good, and it took
off and it's flying around the house and my mother.

(26:54):
You know those little things that you see at the store,
they're like little birds and you put like a glass
the water in front of.

Speaker 6 (27:00):
Them, and they in the movie Alien.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
That's right, Well, this is what my This is what
my mom looked like, because she was ducking every time
that bird come around her. She would duck like one
of these. And the birds doing circles around the dining room,
and my mom is screaming, and we're both my sister
and me both are laughing so hard. We can't even
we don't even have the muscles to get up and
try to catch the bird because we are laughing so
hard because my mother is flipping out because this bird

(27:27):
is And then the second instance was when we went
to go eat dinner after church and we were walking
across the parking lot to the pizza joint. My mom's
perfectly koyfured hair with all of her hair spray and teased,
you know, hairstyle. She's walking across and the bird craps
right on her hairdo and a yeah, and all of

(27:49):
the hairspray just just be basically allowed that bird poop
to just it was like shellac.

Speaker 6 (27:54):
It was like justlighting right down you know, when all
the robins were down here here a couple of months ago.
Every there's like a month out of the year where
Robin's just like a fifty bade our yard and there's
there's bird poop everywhere and my wife poop down like
on her arm. But like she wasn't even mad. She's like,
I love the bird. We we we we started competing

(28:16):
to see who could collect the most birds on their app.
So there's this there's this app and I highly recommend it.
It's actually really good. I'm gonna sound like a like
a loser now. This is because I'm really because I'm
in my mid thirties now, thirty four. Uh yeah, your
your graph, I'm a brood approaching the least cool phase
of my life. It's called Merlin though download Merlin. It's

(28:42):
it's some school I can't remember, but basically the app
will listen to bird warbling and calls and songs and stuff,
and they will tell you what it is. We'll go
on walks and we'll hear your bird's going and and
we'll go out and we'll let it record and it
will tell you like, oh, here's a tough to tit mounse.
There's like tonight I'll go on a walk with with

(29:06):
my my son, my youngest. Kind of like a tufted
tit mouse shows up on my phone along with a cardinal.
We get a lot of mocking birds as well. I
got a it's like a red winged black bird.

Speaker 8 (29:18):
And uh, and so like we found out the owl
that we have these owls that live by by our house.

Speaker 6 (29:23):
It's barred owls.

Speaker 1 (29:24):
Not barned I've heard of bar o.

Speaker 6 (29:28):
Yeah, So and so this is really cool. You're like, oh,
these are the birds around me. Then you kind of
get used to hearing it, and so you're like, oh,
that's a cardinal obvious, very obviously. And and so we've
gotten really good at being able to identify bird birds
from just their calls and their and their songs.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Autumn Society is going to be
so proud to hear.

Speaker 6 (29:48):
This that I know exactly. H And so we've been.

Speaker 8 (29:53):
Memberships members We're gonna have a big year one day
when we retired.

Speaker 6 (29:59):
I will no, actually, I think.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
You've already started down that retirement slow sounds well, yeah,
first off, you're living in Florida your mid thirties, and
you're listening to birds and you can identify them maybe
pretty much got all the all the boxes.

Speaker 6 (30:14):
Changing sounds so lame right now, hopefully sound less lame
with the later part of the story. So, so we've
got this bird dust back there right for a couple
of weeks, we've had this the saga of the bird.
You know, our new neighbor, and it's it's a Carolina wren.
I could very obviously tell just by looking at it.
And and and we've been watching them jump around in

(30:34):
the deck while doing dishes and stuff. We got this
big window right by our stink there and U and
so I see it and there's like five five beautiful
eggs and a little nest there I'm like, oh man,
it's so like I'll come and check on it. Sometimes
we'll peek in its like from the distance, because it's
kind of like got like a cave. It's like a
tunnel into where the thing is that because it got
the tents kind of draped over. And we both think

(30:54):
then it's such a it's such a smart place to
put it. Nothing's gonna think, you know. And and I've
seen the bird peeking out there, and we're like, oh, okay,
that's cool. A couple of nights ago, my wife hears
a commotion outside. She pulls her phone out. She's like,
oh it says Carolina Wren. And she's like there was
more than one bird. I know for sure that there
were multiple birds. I could hear it. So she's thinking, like,

(31:16):
it's like eight o'clock at night, the sun's down, yeah,
or maybe about that. She's thinking like maybe they've patched.
And I immediately start thinking, I don't know, something seems
wrong about this. So I go and I take a
look at this thing. It's right on the right, right
by the door on the deck there. I woke out
and very immediately I see this like massive three foot snake.

(31:40):
Oh yeah, like it had climbed up and its head
was it's the head is like tunneled into this this
like tunnel into the I'm like, oh, this is absolutely
And then like another two feet of this thing is
just like draped around the outside and on top of
this this is like like thing. And so I'm there

(32:01):
just like because thinks so really scary. But then when
you got a big one right there in front of you,
You're like, yeah, no, from the look, I'm like, it's
probably not venomous, but I can't really see its head either.

Speaker 1 (32:15):
And you don't have an app for that either.

Speaker 6 (32:17):
Yeah, I don't have an app for that. So I
kind of like I think, like, let me, let me
grab a broom and uh, I kind of like grab
a broomletser, and I kind of give it a swat
in it. The whole thing just goes right into the
nest area and I'm like, oh, great, now it's gonna
stuck there.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
And I'm like I walk.

Speaker 6 (32:34):
Inside, like, man, I gotta do something about this, right,
Like I right, you know, And so I go ahead
and I grab a couple of the long like like
pokers for for like like pro for fors and stuff.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
Yeah, I thought maybe you can like maybe get some
tongs and grab it.

Speaker 6 (32:53):
You know. Well, these these are like long side because
I'm like, I'm I lift it up in the tents
and I see them like, okay, like the head is
not venomous. I could tell. I looked up later. It's
like an Eastern rat snake. Okay. So I've got this
giant three ft long rat snake in there, and I
basically take these songs. It's curled up in the nests
at this point like it's trying to protect its food

(33:14):
slash just it doesn't want to get you know, well
you get, you know. And so I pick it up
with one of these tongues and I kind of lifted
up and it very quickly just like it's out of there.
It jumps down and it just starts slithering away into
the grill. And so I'm thinking, all right, this thing's
gonna come back, like it knows that dinner's there. Yeah,

(33:37):
I don't know anywhere I could put this nest, like
do I picked the nests up and put it somewhere else,
But I'm like, I put it. I've got so and
it's of course right at bedtime. So I'm like all right,
can you and you're gonna get human. I don't think
that's gonna stop it from coming back. But if I
put it somewhere else, is it gonna know where I
put it?

Speaker 1 (33:55):
I don't know, like smell it out.

Speaker 6 (33:58):
I gotta be something. But like, and I'm hoping that
maybe his bird's watching on them. But there's three eggs left.
Two eggs are eating. I'm thinking, all right, well I've saved.
I'm a hero. My wife is gonna think I'm a hero.
She's to be like, oh, it's so brave, even though
we got a video camera stage right there that looks
as if I'm fencing the thing. And uh So I

(34:21):
get the kids to bed and I come back out.
It's been thirty minutes of the past. I come back
out to go check on it, and like, I'm like,
I've got an idea about where to move the nest
road to do. And right when I step out, I
see this giant snake is just chilling on top of
the water table and I was like, oh no. So
I get the poker again and I'm like, I gave
it a snack pulling it and I started like hitting

(34:42):
it over the top of it. And it slowly there's off.
I don't I don't kill it because it's such a
thin like the poker, you gotta get it right on there,
like yeah, it hits a thin thing to kind of big.
So it at least there's off. And I'm like, all right,
well I go check on the nest.

Speaker 8 (34:56):
The three eggs are gone. I mean it's all the eggs.

Speaker 6 (35:00):
You know, there's a nest there, there's nothing else. There's
a little piece of sneak skin left behind. So so
my kids found out that we're not going to see
baby birds and that nature is cruel.

Speaker 1 (35:12):
Oh man, that's well, you know, hey, what can I say?
You know, but you know you you said, you go
back and tell me this poncho that you've tried to
fend off a snake.

Speaker 6 (35:22):
She said, I was very brave.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
Oh well that's good. That's good. So if anything else
you've I guess she was now in the mood.

Speaker 6 (35:32):
Oh well, unfortunately her body is at the time was
giving her I guess payback for not getting pregnant this
past month. I see against them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:46):
Well, okay, that's true, that's true. I mean that's all
that Yeah, all that work, all that work for nothing.
Oh my gosh, you know's here. I am moving up
here in boring Pennsylvania.

Speaker 6 (36:01):
This is this is a long small talk. I'm sorry,
like a lot's happened, okay, And I'll say, it's Easter season, okay,
so like here's the lord for that.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
Well, and you know we're we're actually I think we're
going to be candy list this year because you know,
my wife is wanting to cut back on all the
candy stuff. So she's like, I'm not, I don't want
candy for for Easter this year, so I may just
go and get her the Easter lily at Walmart or something.

Speaker 6 (36:24):
You know, Well, that's a bad thing. I feel like
I need a fast again after all these birthdays in.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
My oh gosh, I I like I said, I don't
get I'm not I'm not a huge candy haul like frankly,
I mean I can take it in small doses. And honestly,
I've still got literally i've still got Christmas candy. I
haven't eaten all of it yet. Okay. In fact, I
actually like right here, I have like a cane that's
like full of her Sheey's kisses. I haven't even opened

(36:53):
it up yet. From from Christmas. So so yeah, I'm
not I'm not a candy hal like that. Man, I'm
not that bad. So nevertheless, though I'm sure you probably
get plenty of candy for the kids.

Speaker 6 (37:07):
Well, I try to be good and not take take
their candy because it also my wife has kind of
gotten to this point where she's like she's trying to
go die free. Okay, so she's like, well from Trader Joe's,
oh there you go.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
Well look look if she's going to tie die the
Easter eggs, don't do what one woman did. I read
one story. I don't know that it's going to be
in the podcast, but it was just worth mentioning that.
You know, you can take you can make ti die
Easter eggs. You put in like all the colors in
the water and then you mix it in like baking
soda or something, and whatever it does, it causes the

(37:44):
colors to be all tie eyed on the eggs when
they're sitting in the in there because of the baking
soda changes it. Well, it also is a mess to
do in your kitchen sink, right because you don't when
your kitchen sink stained with all the colors, right. So
she just decided to put everything in the in the
in the commode and and tied die the eggs in
the commode.

Speaker 6 (38:02):
And has I feel like that would stain more than
stainless field.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
Well, she didn't care. She wouldn't care if the commode
was stained. She didn't care. So that was the whole point.
So she put all the eggs in the commode. She
has a dozen eggs. She takes a picture of all
these tight eggs eggs in her commode and the best
part is that she puts cot. And she's an internet influencer,
so she puts a picture of it online and everyone's
gagging because, like on, I would never eat eggs that were,

(38:30):
you know, colored in the kommote. And she says, wait,
what do you mean you actually eat your your Easter
eggs after you color them? She goes, we just set
them around here for decoration. I'm like, oh wow, you know,
I mean, the best part is eating the egg after,
you know, you find it a little salt and pepper.

Speaker 6 (38:48):
I guess it just depends. I mean, if you're gonna
eat it, you gotta keep it. If you boil it,
you gotta keep it in the fridge. Unless you're well, coloring,
he saidunless you're coloring leg like when you have eggs
that just hatch, they've got a little them around it.
You don't have refrigerated but the baking water would eat
that away. And so.

Speaker 1 (39:08):
Well, there was even another story I read today where
a mother was cleaning out her grandmother's attic and she
had her daughter with her, and they, you know, were
had all this stuff, you know, and and I guess
they found like an easter basket with some pretty colored
eggs in it, and they go, well, this is really
kind of cool. Grandma had like some like an Easter
coloration egg. Well, that's the point they thought they were

(39:32):
like artificial eggs because they were just sitting in this basket.
They'd been up in the attic for who knows well,
so they're sitting them setting out on the table. They're
going to an old photo album and they found an
old photo of whenever they were I mean whenever she
was like really young, when the mother was really young
with her boyfriend at the time was before it was
her husband, and they were coloring eggs, and lo and

(39:55):
behold this very same basket of Easter eggs sitting in
that picture. And yes, you guessed it. They were not
artificial and actually, I guess the bottom of one of
the eggs cracked open. They said that there was a
little ball inside, and they said it wasn't a ball,
it was actually the petrified egg yolk that was in there.
And they then said, I guess one. When they started

(40:18):
cracking the eggs open, it was had like pressure built
up and so it was like a little explosion and
then suddenly the entire kitchen was like putrid.

Speaker 6 (40:29):
I mean, I've had a century egg before, but at
least that I think I think ferments.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
I don't know, but can you imagine finding thirty year
old Easter eggs?

Speaker 6 (40:39):
You know, we said it was Grandma. I mean that
might be older than thirty. I don't know how old
are they were dating or Grandpa. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (40:49):
They estimated them to be about thirty years old.

Speaker 6 (40:53):
Yeah, it's just the daggs. I didn't know the Easter
eggs like that will last for thirty years. I could
make one now and it'll last all my kids.

Speaker 1 (41:02):
To be a nice be a nice heirloom to pass on.

Speaker 6 (41:05):
You know this, It makes an at the time when
when my wife and I we were first married like
for maybe a year or so, and we had gotten
some pumpkins to put her on the house inside them
for like fall season, and and we went on some
trip in the fall and we come back and we're like,
what is that smell? Well, one of the pumpkins decided
to just rot out at the bottom and and just melt.

(41:26):
I guess I'll explode. I don't know a combination liquify, liquify,
oh man. Coming back and that that like week long
trip or a few day long trip. Oh man.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
I do remember we did hide one east egg. I
remember one year and I thought would be really clever
to hide it in one of the drawers in the
in the bathroom. And and that was one that in
about three months we decided there was a smell and
it was not coming from my dad's bathroom, because usually
when my dad finished dinner and grabbed the newspaper and
disappeared in the back bedroom, you could you can you

(42:01):
knew who he was and you could smell him. And
this time it wasn't from my dad. It was from
the easter rig that was about six months old or
three months old, sitting in the drawer that we forgot
to be able to find you know, so oh my gosh.
So well, there you have it. So, I don't know,
hopefully we'll have some good Easter stories to talk about
on a future podcast.

Speaker 6 (42:22):
Oh yeah, I sure a well, look, small talk is
like this is a long small talk. We'll let it go. Man,
all right, well, look, welcome to the podcast. Happy Easter,
and yeah, hopefully you enjoyed it. Fun fact of the
day is uh, this is a Poncho's fun fact of
the day. Rat snakes are incredibly good climbers, I'm told.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
And they also have a very hungry appetite for eggs.

Speaker 6 (42:50):
Yes, they love eggs, even when they're incredibly cute and
like the size of the tip of your finger, your
pinky finger. Oh man, our hearts robed on Tuesday night.
But yeah, like, well, I'm sitting there trying to spike
a a like a rat snake with uh with with
like marshmallow.

Speaker 1 (43:08):
From marshmallow tongs.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 6 (43:10):
That's Uh. I've got a story about someone's tires who
were spiked by the police and and the best part
about it is what they decided to do about this. Yeah,
so like uh, Eric picks out a bunch of stories
he minds. He's he's like a blue collar Uh you
know what's the equivalent of the and yeah, the bitcoin,

(43:35):
the black lung, well bitcoin, that could be it too. Yeah,
he's like, he's my blockchain, and no, I'm his blockchain.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
That's right there.

Speaker 6 (43:43):
You go there, and I'm I filed the best of
the stupid stories of the week. At least I think it.
I think these are the best. I don't know, these
are basically.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
Yeah, you've actually done very well because I actually go
through and secretly predict the ones I think you're going
to pick. Any almost always get the ones I figure
you would.

Speaker 10 (44:02):
You know.

Speaker 6 (44:03):
So the first story we got here, and it's kind
of it's like a burglar being in the middle of
robbing a Sephora and ordering sushi on door dash. It's
a forty five year old Utah woman named Anime Martinez.
She was arrested after leading police on a high speed chase.
And it began when when the cop clocked her going

(44:24):
one hundred and twenty miles per hour and it started
to pursuit. The troopers attempted to spike her tires twice. Wow,
they were successful on the second try. Nearly one hundred
miles away from where she was first spotted. Wow, yeah,
I know that's I mean, they're presuing one hundred miles
like that. So if you do the math, one hundred

(44:44):
three miles per hour for one hundred miles, how long
were the I'm scared, I'm not gonna reap this. Well,
so her her tires were spiked, her tires to plate.
He's pulled off to the side of the road and
the police surrounded her car, but she wouldn't lower her
window or exit the vehicle. And so get this all right,
About forty minutes into the standoff, she called Triple A

(45:07):
to ask them to come out and fix her tire.

Speaker 1 (45:12):
Meantime, you got a fall on police stand off. She's
in the car calling Triple A.

Speaker 6 (45:16):
Oh you're like I've heard about like a pirate calling
for parlay, but calling for Triple A as a mediator,
and this is my So Triple A transferred the call
to the police, and the cops on the scene jumped
on the call and convinced her to come out. She
was charged with reckless driving and failing to stop for police.

(45:39):
She was involved in the high speech chase. I think
she's a bigger disappointment to the state of Utah than
the Jazz basketball team. At least she called Triple A
to have her tires fixed. What an airhead? Yeah, oh,
the air definitely wasn't in her tires at least.

Speaker 1 (45:57):
Yeah. I just think it's hilarious that the police were
held at bay by a woman in a car who's
calling Triple A to come. And I mean, I'm like,
could they just like throw a rock and break a
window or something. I don't know.

Speaker 6 (46:10):
I mean, you're just like, like unbelievable. I mean, I
don't say they actually came out so like getting the
tire going in the.

Speaker 1 (46:19):
Middle right right exactly. I honestly think the cops may
not have been firm enough with her to get her
to get out of the car. They let her sit
in the car and call Triple A to come out
and fix your cards. But sometimes you can be a
little too firm, okay. I mean, like maybe the next
time you get up, like the next time, maybe.

Speaker 6 (46:41):
Eve when you you like that, you like that, okay.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
So well, the next time you get a massage, maybe
you want to settle for a medium pressure. Okay. If
there's a twenty six year old guy in China, Okay,
who almost nearly died from a neck massage that was
just a little too firm. I've never heard of this before,
but his neck had been hurting from working too much,

(47:05):
I mean sitting at his desk. And this might be
something that you do. You sent it a desk a lot,
and maybe you're this neckd stiff, you know, this sort
of thing. So he books an appointment at a local
massage Parker, Okay. And he said it felt great until
the messiuse did one of these more vigorous maneuvers. He
said he felt like a sharp pain in his neck.
Then he had a massive headache. So he goes to

(47:26):
the yard the next morning after he woke up with
slurred speech and numbness on the left side of his body.

Speaker 6 (47:33):
Oh gosh, oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
So it turns out there was the masseuse accidentally you're
ready ripped a hole in an artery leading to his brain.

Speaker 6 (47:44):
What is that's an artery? This guy is lovely to
be alive.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
Yeah. So then he had a stroke out of that.
So so here's here's doctor ever Arias talking about just
how this happens.

Speaker 11 (47:58):
You're massage in your neck. You got to make sure
you avoid the interior area here, and the reason for
that is that you don't have much muscle in this area.
But then you have vessels such as the vein and
the crowded artery. It could cause dissection, meaning the artery
walls could dissect or rupture, and that could lead to
a stroke. And I've seen strokes before and patients who
have high velocity manipulation.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
Of their neck.

Speaker 11 (48:20):
And that's why it's important to avoid mustaging the interior
neck because that could lead to a croati dissection that
could lead to a stroke.

Speaker 1 (48:26):
So luckily the doctors did treat him in he's okay,
but they say he should, you know, make a full recovery.
But definitely I find a new messuse.

Speaker 6 (48:34):
This guy's twenty six years old. And yes, man, if
I'm being honest, I feel like I could use a
massage like that though.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
We don't need. Look, we've already had one guy picking
his nose so aggressively he hit an artery.

Speaker 6 (48:49):
Yeah, this happens a lot in China. I guess that's right. Well,
I think you said, just like go to a chiropractor.
That that really sets me straight. There you go, especially
for like the headaches and the next stuff.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
Like, well, I tell my wife when she would go
to the chiropractor, I would used to say, she's going in,
going in to get a friend in alignment.

Speaker 6 (49:11):
Guy's basically like a frontal lobe alignment for me.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
Yeah. Yeah, So rather to take your car for a
friend in alignment, you just take the wife in for
a friend in alignment.

Speaker 6 (49:22):
Man. Well, look, I guess, well, well, this is this
twenty six year old China man is smelling burnt toast
and pennies from a stroke. Yeah. The guy in my
next story is smelling his own dirty socks. And I
guess the one thing that've got in common is that

(49:42):
they both end up in the er for it. Yeah. Oh, listen,
and this is the If you end up on our podcast,
chances are you've done something really dumb or embarrassing. That's right,
that's right, and we will Eric will find you, and
then I will most likely pick you to talk about it.
We've got our own pecking order. Okay, that's right. That's

(50:04):
right on the list of embarrassing things that can lead
you or land you in the er. Though I think
this is up there, maybe maybe not as bad as
picking your nose until you burst an army. There's a
middle aged man in central China once again, you know,
they recently showed up at the hospital. Was a bad
cough that wouldn't go away. He said he'd tried to

(50:26):
cough syrup, but it didn't help. His eyes were also bloodshot,
so they did some kind of like scans. They found
a mast in his lower right lung, but it wasn't cancer, right,
that's good news. It turned out that he had a
serious fungal infection in his lungs that he got from
sniffing his own dirty socks.

Speaker 1 (50:47):
Wow, okay, so either maybe he's.

Speaker 6 (50:50):
Got to get his feet checked out too, I guess,
I don't know. He admitted he'd gotten into the habit
of smelling his socks after work, right before he tossed
them in the laundry.

Speaker 8 (51:00):
Hey, what does this guy do for a job, because
this could be really bad or just bad.

Speaker 1 (51:05):
It's just like an OCD thing that you have to
smell your socks before you put It's like, okay, these
smell you enough to put in the dirty clothes laundry or.

Speaker 6 (51:14):
Is it like a weird like pink thing. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (51:18):
Yeah, maybe it's like maybe I can wear these socks
another day.

Speaker 6 (51:21):
It's it's essentially like it sounds like athletes lung I
guess is wow, technically it was a different type of fungus.
They tested the socks and found the same fungus he
had in his lungs. Luckily he responded to anti fungal
meds and he's okay, But I do have a you know,

(51:44):
I did have to earlier this week check out the
newest episode of the The Last of Us season two.
So maybe maybe HBO can make this the plot line
in season two. Here there's room for another fungus, right.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
Well, that's you know, maybe you should contact them. That
might be a good it'd be certainly be a better idea.
And some of the stuff I have on right now,
you know.

Speaker 6 (52:07):
The fungus is evolving. It's the perfect delivery method.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
O man. Oh man. Well, at least the guy was,
you know, at least wearing some clothes. At the very least.

Speaker 6 (52:22):
Was breathing in these these.

Speaker 1 (52:24):
Song man, I'm telling you he was. It was a
good healthy sniff, that's for sure, you know, I'll tell you. So,
I'm sure that we have a lot of questions wondering, well,
why is this guy sniffing his socks to start with.
I mean, I think we pretty much all know what
dirty socks smell like. But I guess if you're a cop,
you're in one of these occupations where you have to

(52:45):
ask questions that you probably know the answers to. I
don't know the answer to why this guy is sniffing
his socks, but maybe, uh, you know the answer that
you're going to be getting, sometimes ahead of time. But
this is one of these situations where policemen can touch
Key recently responded to calls about a naked man walking
along the highway.

Speaker 6 (53:06):
I was I was wondering how you're going to transition
into this one. Yeah, well I feel like we're hiking.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
Yeah, well, there you go.

Speaker 6 (53:14):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (53:15):
And this guy wasn't even wearing socks. I mean he was.
He was definitely down to his birthday suits. So when
the cops find him, the cops asked him what he's
up to, and his response was going to get some pants.
Keep in mind, he is but but naked.

Speaker 6 (53:33):
Okay, apparently it is the perfect excuse for walking.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
Of course, I got to get some pants, officer. But
obviously he appeared to be under the influence of something.
I mean, then he got disorderly, which is usually the
next thing that happens, and then he starts repeatedly kicking
the door of the patrol car. So obviously they idd
him and identified him as a guy named James K. King,
and they charged him. Obviously in decent exposure publican talksation

(54:00):
is certainly conducting, da da da. He also had six
South sending warrants too, by the way, for stuff like well,
public intoxication, criminal trespassing, and possession of drug parer fernalia.
So there you have it. So I guess you know
you got copperhead You know you had a rat snake
on your back deck going for the bird eggs. Kentucky
they've got copper head snakes and I've seen some of them.
They're nasty. But then you got residents there that were

(54:23):
shocked to see a trouser snake along the highway too,
you know. So I don't know. I mean, I've driven
to Kentucky. They've got gorgeous scenery, but I don't think
it's the type of twig and berries that I'm wanting
to see, you know.

Speaker 6 (54:35):
Yeah, Look, this sounds like every dream I've ever.

Speaker 1 (54:38):
Had almost walking around naked along the highway.

Speaker 6 (54:43):
It sounds like a cliche, but if I ever have
a dream that goes the wrong direction, it always is
because I look down and all of a sudden, I'm
not wearing pants. I'm like, well, this is uncomfortable. And
it's gotten to the point where when I have a
dream like that, I look down and I'm like, not again. Really,
this just always happened to me.

Speaker 1 (55:02):
There's supposed to be some psychological reason why you are
dreaming that you're naked.

Speaker 6 (55:07):
I don't know. I have no idea. It's I either.
I don't have scary dreams anymore. I don't even feel
embarrassed in my naked dreams anymore. I just I just accepted.
I accept. I'm like, all right, well, you know what
they're gonna have to understand, and I guess this is
a they won't They won't understand. You're gonna get arrested

(55:28):
for it, is the answer to that.

Speaker 1 (55:33):
Well, I'm just out looking from a pants.

Speaker 6 (55:37):
Oh man.

Speaker 1 (55:38):
I yeah.

Speaker 6 (55:39):
As as a kid like I would, I would have
nightmares occasionally. I wasn't like crazy and stuff. As an adult, like,
especially as a young adult, I never I didn't have
any more nightmares anymore. I just if there was a
dream that was going to go to a scary place.
I became an action hero basically my dream, which made
it exciting. It was fun and exciting. And then I
don't know why, but like this happened, just like a
few years ago. Instead of becoming an action hero, I

(56:02):
just become naked. It's uh, it's strange, but yeah, right,
I know. So I guess you know you have a
guy monkeying around on a highway with his peeks out
and uh and trousers snake out. I guess I've got
a foster mom though, and my next story who wishes

(56:24):
that she was able to monkey around, so she traded
her daughter for one. Here's here's someone who shouldn't be
allowed around kids or animals. Again. It's a seventy year
old foster mom near Saint Louis. She's accused of trying
to trade a child for a monkey. I understand that
sometimes it can be difficult to tell the difference between

(56:46):
the two. I've got kids.

Speaker 1 (56:47):
About man, But well, I may have heard of porch monkeys,
but this is something different.

Speaker 6 (56:53):
The porch monkey is one of those old boomer terms
I only know words like riz and skibbity and.

Speaker 1 (57:07):
Yes, that's good, I get the monkeys stigma.

Speaker 6 (57:11):
Yeah, okay, Well, the cops arrested Brenda Deutsch on child
abuse charges last weekend. They said that she'd been abusing
and mistreating a teenage girl who was supposed to be
caring for. They're still looking into it, but she may
have agreed to give the girl to someone in Texas
if they gave her a pet monkey in return. She

(57:34):
apparently knew the guy because they both collected exotic animals
Gosh and Georgia with the foster. She's like you ever
read the Old like the Old? Was it short story?
Like the most dangerous game?

Speaker 1 (57:47):
Okay, the most.

Speaker 6 (57:50):
Exotic of animals is teenage girl? Yes? Yes, so yeah,
she wants to get a monkey as an exotic animal. Well,
prosecutor they called details of the case heinous and disturbing.
Here we actually have audio prosecutor Mike Wood explaining the accusations.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
We'll have to do some deeper dives into hopefully their
communications to see if if that trade was actually for consideration,
if that was for the purposes of human trafficking, and
we don't.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
Know that yet.

Speaker 2 (58:23):
But it is an allegation that's out there that we
need to look into it.

Speaker 6 (58:26):
Worse, she's fostered more than two hundred other kids over
the years. Man, right, that's a lot of But you
might think that that's a lot of potential abuse. But
I'm thinking that that is a lot of potentially foregone
opportunities for monkeys.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
No, she could have had two hundred monkeys, man, Either
that or what if she has one hundred and ninety
nine other exotic animals.

Speaker 6 (58:48):
I think that might also be a little too. I
guess what like indicative something.

Speaker 1 (58:56):
No, Yeah, she can open her own zoo.

Speaker 6 (59:00):
Well, I'm thinking she's the first time she's done something
like this. Yeah, Well to me, it sounds like, I like,
the foster mom could be facing a long list of
charges and going away for a very long time and
she's seven.

Speaker 1 (59:12):
Yeah, so yeah, yeah, well obviously, yeah, she doesn't monkey
it around when it comes to, you know, trying to
take care of those kids, you know, I mean she's
been doing it for all these many years too.

Speaker 6 (59:24):
That's looking at a picture of her, she kind of
looks like a like a monkey.

Speaker 1 (59:28):
Yeah. Yeah, it's it's just crazy. The fact that she's
fostered over two hundred kids. What I mean, she'd been
trying to make deals with him as well. I I
don't know, so I mean it's like turning turning kids
into monkeys because she wants to make a better trade.
I love this story though, because there's a pastor who

(59:49):
tries to avoid the TSA scanners at the airport. He
would prefer to be frisked because he thinks the scanners
turns him gay. It'd be a lot more fun, though,
if the scanners could turn him into a monkey, because
that would be that would be pretty fun to watch.
But this guy, I love this. This is like every
fundamental pastor story I've ever imagined. This guy is pastor

(01:00:12):
Andrew Iker or Isker. I guess he claims now and
I don't know if he has anything to prove this by,
but if you have airport security, you better have him
frisk you because if you go through the scanner, it'll
turn you gay. Okay. He's a preacher at the Fourth
Street Evangelical Church and he's well, he was talking I

(01:00:35):
guess about this. He can also be considered a conspiracy
theorist as well. Okay, but what he does he uses
a portion of his right wing current affairs podcast called
Contra Mundum to spread baseless and ridiculous conspiracy theories that
tsa body scanners and airports can make him queer. We

(01:00:55):
really should have him as a guest on our podcast
because it'd be kind of cool.

Speaker 6 (01:00:58):
I don't expected to say I'm like like them. I can't.
I can't do an Alex Jones.

Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
Yeah. Well, we'll all put on tinfoil hats when you make.

Speaker 5 (01:01:17):
Man.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
Well, so this guy is talking to Judge Shepherd, right,
So he's talking to the co host C. J Engele,
the right wing pastor. He says, much can Uh he
preferred to be fresh, but you say agents instead of
when he goes to these uh. Well, he ironically calls
him as the gay beam from the scanners. You know,

(01:01:39):
you go through the gay.

Speaker 6 (01:01:41):
Yeah, I've been once or twice.

Speaker 1 (01:01:44):
Okay, there you go. Well, apparently, full body scanners and
airport security terminals are devices that do scan for hidden items,
either you've either swallowed them by a person or you
have them, you know, been missed. Maybe during the search
you can have it in your pockets or something like this.
Now that are not like metal detectors. Okay, so it's
like now they can detect non metal objects on a person.

(01:02:09):
I often wonder when I go through and stand in
that little booth and the thing runs around, can they
can they see me naked?

Speaker 6 (01:02:16):
I thought that you were going to say that you
were wondering about like what, I don't know what what
what Burt Reynolds looks like without.

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
Well, right, I'm just wondering. I'm thinking about him. Are
they looking at me naked? Because I mean, it is
not like a metal detector, but they cannot and they
do not make you gay. Okay, you know that.

Speaker 6 (01:02:36):
You're standing there being scanned. You're lying. I said, you know,
it makes you wonder what would if you like to
keep guy?

Speaker 1 (01:02:42):
Yeah? Right exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:02:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:02:44):
So well, despite not having no available evidence whatsoever to
back up this claim, all right, It'skert says in this
segment on the podcast, I'm not gonna go through the
gay being machine. I didn't let ce J do it,
and I wouldn't let him do it. I said, you
ain't getting you gonna get padded down to buddy. I
don't want them to turn you gay. Okay, Well here

(01:03:05):
he is. Actually, well, we've got him explaining this theory
here on on this podcast. So check this out. I
had to be molested at the airport, uh to go
to Florida right just to get on an airplane because
I'm not going to go through the the gaybeam machine.
It appears having a guy touchy all over the place
is on its face, seems worse, but you don't really

(01:03:29):
know what's going on, what those things are doing to you.
So where the imaging goes, Yeah, because it's like yeah,
like yeah, who they can just take a picture of me,
Like no, no, oscars previous. Yeah, he's previous when when
it comes exposing anti gay views, he's had previous experience.
You're during the interview here is published to the Tucker

(01:03:51):
Carlson Network. Actually in early April, Inster claims he had
fled to Tennessee after saying that his home state of
Minnesota had declared war on Christians. So he went on
this homophobic tie rade, claiming that the OLGBTQ plus people
are naturally sinful and claimed that financial sin is associated
with homosexuality. So if you're out there spending money handover fist,

(01:04:16):
you're also probably hit with a gaying there as well.

Speaker 6 (01:04:19):
Either that or or you're a woman.

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
Yeah, right, I shopping.

Speaker 6 (01:04:27):
I don't know if this is to be, But the
more this guy talks about about all this, the more
it makes me wonder if he's like secretly closeted or something.

Speaker 1 (01:04:36):
Really Oh my gosh, that's insane.

Speaker 6 (01:04:40):
He's just looking for an excuse for what it only
does go about, Like I knew I should have said
through that scare that one time. It did.

Speaker 1 (01:04:48):
Man, you know, it would be really pretty funny, you
know if if he did go through the scanner and
he came out with a boner.

Speaker 6 (01:04:56):
What you thinking about there?

Speaker 1 (01:04:58):
J Yeah, yeah right.

Speaker 6 (01:05:00):
Man, Yeah, well you know what, maybe maybe maybe this
is an idea that was this is about the last
story the podcast. Maybe this is an idea that stemmed
from someone while they were being t s A scanned
or maybe maybe both scanned. And if you're not into it,
maybe you know you should get in line for the

(01:05:21):
scan because okay, sperm racing, all right, before you before
you jump in on on what it is, Yes, that's
exactly what you think it is. Yeah, if you're but
you could you could gamble on anything, Okay, if you're
a degenerate gambler like me, I'm kidding. I'm not. People

(01:05:47):
are gonna start rumors if I think I should run
with those I should run with those things next time. Yeah,
if you're a dinner gambler like me and need something
to bet on after the Masters, uh, or what do
you do after the Masters? You start masturbating?

Speaker 1 (01:06:05):
There you go.

Speaker 6 (01:06:06):
Yeah, it's a it's a fresh option here. The newest
board you didn't have on your bingo card is sperm Racing.
It's a startup in LA says it's launching. I would
I would expect San Francisco, but LA is a pretty
close second. For They say that they're launching their first

(01:06:27):
sperm racing league. Now I'm thinking this is something like
how do you how do you get involved as an athlete?
Because I've always wanted to get involved in sports and
they claim it's not a joke. They're live streaming the
first event on April twenty fifth from the Hollywood Palladium
Theater on Sunset Boulevard live streaming. Yeah, and and right

(01:06:51):
now I'm thinking, like I've been It's like I've been
training for this my whole life. Okay, yeah, I remember
plastics from from the kid, right, So, like I should be.
I mean, there should be some quality motility going on
with good do they do?

Speaker 1 (01:07:08):
They have the cameras aimed at the starting gate? U.

Speaker 6 (01:07:16):
I would rather not see the starting gate. I'd rather
never see the rest of it, I think, But not
the starting gate. I'm not interested. But how do you
like when you say, like, and they're off, do they
all have to? Like? How do they all time it
out at the same time to you know, complete at
the same time.

Speaker 1 (01:07:36):
They don't say and they're off, now they say and
they get off.

Speaker 6 (01:07:40):
And they get out, But how do they get up
at the same time the race? It's really impressive? Alrighty
what I've got painted in my head? Well, you could
buy tickets, okay, tickets to see this in person? Yeah,
I like, do people like stand behind a glory hole

(01:08:03):
or something so they can protect their faces?

Speaker 1 (01:08:07):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 6 (01:08:12):
They do they name it to like do you name horses? Yeah,
instead of z biscuit You've got can't even say, never mind,
I can't say that.

Speaker 1 (01:08:35):
And Jimmy, yeah, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.

Speaker 6 (01:08:40):
Okay, I've been stuck on the same line from the
stright tickets you buy tickets for this, they're on sale. Now, Yeah,
is this? Uh, they built a microscopic racetrack. This is
so that guys can go head to head and literally
and set the fastest swimmers. Oh my gosh, it's like

(01:09:06):
I'm going to prove on man, my penis right next
to yours.

Speaker 1 (01:09:10):
And head baby's right and.

Speaker 6 (01:09:15):
The track mimics the dynamics of a woman's reproductive system.

Speaker 1 (01:09:20):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 6 (01:09:21):
So I'm guessing there's no actual egg involved. I'd like
to think that it's like a like a cheese with
rats and a mazed kind of situation. Yeah, they stay.
The point is to bring attention to fertility and turn
health into a competition because it's something you can train for,

(01:09:43):
just like any other sport. It's about making male fertility
something people actually want to talk about, track and improve,
because apparently people don't want to do so by having
kids anymore. Of course, organized.

Speaker 1 (01:09:57):
I wanted, do you have to exercise your sphincter in
order to be a to train? Well, all I know.

Speaker 6 (01:10:01):
Is that we've never had problems conceding in my household,
So I think that that alone, should you know, prove that.
I think i'd be quite the competitor. Yeah, this is
this is this will be my sport of choice here, Okay,
we'll see, but I think the main thing I would
probably like is is preparing for the like the pre

(01:10:26):
pre game, right, like the pre game kind of operations.
Once it's once you know you're off, I guess it's
at that point like, yeah, I don't really care who wins.
I lose interest very quickly at that point. We're going
to say. The new league will have everything other sports have,

(01:10:50):
including press conferences, waiting on how you wait what like
are you are you weighing the member or like I
don't I don't like, I don't know. There's there's a
lot of different things I can think of that being
waylay by play commentary, which I would you love to

(01:11:16):
do that I would love to tune in after the
races started for that one, the and betting naturally you'll
you'll be able to pick. Now. This is where I
wonder if you're like, you know, you're like, oh, yes,
uh you know, do you have people come back like

(01:11:36):
like like a winner, like you know, are you have
the odds that are favored You're like, oh, this guy
always wins. You get to like here, like you know,
this is like what their Their prior meal was the
night before to see if you know that would you know.

Speaker 1 (01:11:54):
Maybe that would well, do they allow lubrication?

Speaker 6 (01:11:58):
Yeah, well, I don't know, I know, I don't know.
There's a lot of questions I have about where the
starting gate is and how that works. Okayah, right, you'll
be able to pick favorites and ben on winners as well.
The first race will feature competitors from UCLA and USC,
so the real crosstown rivalry if yes, But they eventually

(01:12:18):
hope to get celebrities involved. Okay, I'm putting my life
saving Nick Cannon. Yeah, yeah, you Elon Musk. Well, there's
got a lot of kids too.

Speaker 1 (01:12:32):
That's good, that's good.

Speaker 6 (01:12:33):
All right. They still haven't answered the question, how do
you get them to start at the same time?

Speaker 1 (01:12:40):
Yeah, I know, absolutely, that's well. I guess it's all
in perfect timing. I guess. You know, you don't want
anything coming prematurely.

Speaker 6 (01:12:50):
Well, I think it's that's that's true. Otherwise you get
like a false start or something, you know, and you
have to wait a whole fifteen or twenty minutes before
the race can beget.

Speaker 1 (01:13:01):
Well, that's right, that's right. Oh my gosh, that's awesome.

Speaker 12 (01:13:13):
Man.

Speaker 1 (01:13:14):
So that's great.

Speaker 6 (01:13:16):
That's great.

Speaker 1 (01:13:18):
So now to get our composure so we can upload
this stuff.

Speaker 6 (01:13:29):
Yeah, that's awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:13:31):
That's awesome. Definitely definitely need the time to uh recharge
your battery.

Speaker 6 (01:13:41):
Yeah, yeah, I need well, I need that for one
things for sure is I need that week long refractory
period when it comes to the.

Speaker 1 (01:13:49):
Well, that's true. Well, what one one other good thing?
I guess maybe if you are successful in the sperm racing,
you get a good night's sleep afterwards.

Speaker 6 (01:14:00):
Well, I think you're more like you fall asleep like
right after the races. I thought how it usually goes.

Speaker 1 (01:14:06):
That's right, that's exactly. You smoke a cigarette, well and
have and have a shot of whiskey or.

Speaker 6 (01:14:12):
Something celebratory cigarette.

Speaker 1 (01:14:15):
Yeah, absolutely absolutely.

Speaker 6 (01:14:18):
The great news is that no matter no matter who
wins or loses the race, you're all a winner. That's right,
always a winternet. It's it's almost like you get your
own biological natural participation trophy.

Speaker 1 (01:14:35):
Yeah, that's right, that's right, you know, I mean, that's
that's that's that's that's insane. It's just absolutely insane.

Speaker 6 (01:14:44):
So much better than I thought.

Speaker 1 (01:14:47):
Yes, I'm telling you.

Speaker 6 (01:14:49):
Well, that's a winner of a story for sure. We'll
go back to racing for the year end podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:14:55):
Well, absolutely, absolutely. Well, my question is, though, you know
you have to watch for people in these sperm races
because you know, you don't want to doping up for
the for the for the thing either.

Speaker 6 (01:15:05):
Yeah. Oh yeah. We talk about a lot of a
lot of other stories about people trying to dope.

Speaker 1 (01:15:09):
Up on Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:15:11):
So yeah, I don't know a lot of times since
we had a weird penis story. Yeah, well, don't worry
to give it to me worried.

Speaker 1 (01:15:19):
Yeah, okay, No, No, I'm sure there's We're never going
to run out of good penis stories. I'm almost convinced
of that, because there's always new ways to get stupid
when it comes to, you know, doing something.

Speaker 6 (01:15:29):
You say, there's always new ways to try to grow
a few centimeters millimeters or yeah, stay harder longer.

Speaker 1 (01:15:38):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right, absolutely, you know.
So well, we we do have some ask Pancho questions,
none of which have anything to do with how to
grow things longer or make it stay harder or anything
like that, but we do have a kind of a
sports related question here, and and I guess in the

(01:16:01):
society we live in, you know, people get opinionated about
some things, and we have somebody writing asking poncho here
it says the other night, I got into this intense
argument with another parent and our son's little league practice,
because it's now getting to a little league season here,
you know, So the other parent criticized my son. So

(01:16:24):
I got in the father's face and told him that
he has no right to critique my son and should
just stay in his own lane and worry about his
own kids. And then we had to actually be separated. Now,
this caused an even bigger argument, with half of the
parents siding with him, saying that it's okay to critique
players on the team, and the other parents sided with me.
So where do you stand on this? I mean, should

(01:16:44):
parents be criticizing other kids on the team?

Speaker 6 (01:16:48):
I feel like I need to be there to see
some of that. But it's little league, So like, what
age are we talking about for this? Well, if there
are young kids, then like that, let them be young kids.
Let the parents kind of do that. Was it constructive?
Is this guy a coach or something? Was he just like, oh,
here's a helpful tip, or was he like I w

(01:17:09):
W and you know, get rude about it.

Speaker 1 (01:17:11):
Apparently. I guess it's a it's a dad, I guess.
So I guess.

Speaker 6 (01:17:15):
Generally speaking, I would probably be like, you know, maybe
six to your own kids. But at the same time,
sometimes people get way too like but hurt over things
when someone said to be helpful as well. So that's right, right.
It really to me depends on like what what was
said and how it was said.

Speaker 1 (01:17:34):
So let's say a little poncho is out getting ready
to knock his first ball off a T ball or
something like this, and some dude sits in the bleachers
on the other side, and he's yelling you know what
you might think might be a little you know, like
critique on how you should you know, I mean, how
would you approach it? Would you go and talk to him?

Speaker 6 (01:17:53):
Well, it depends if he's trying to hit the ball
and the guy's being helpful and kind of like kind
or not a jerk about it, And I'm like, oh, whatever,
you know, you know, because like I I grew up
playing a lot of sports and uh, and like you
got people yelling all kinds of things from bleachers or
things or whatnot. You just kind of like you focus
on the game. You you focus on the training that
you've been doing with practice and stuff. And but if

(01:18:15):
someone comes up and offers a help, oh here, like
make sure that you square away when you're at the plate,
and you know you you swing all the way through.
That's you know, if you swing and you're like, swing
all the way through. I'm not gonna be mad at
someone saying that to my son. I'll be like, oh, yeah,
I'm like, you're right, listen to him, you know what
he's talking about. I would just encourage and support that that.
But again, you begin yelling like a jerk or something,

(01:18:37):
then I would have a problem with that. Yeah, think
about it as though.

Speaker 1 (01:18:40):
I mean, especially when you look at the kids. I mean,
it's one thing when you're you know, like in in
like Babe Ruth or like an older league baseball, when
you're a little league and these kids, you know, do
you listen to some guy yelling at the stands or
do you listen to your coach?

Speaker 6 (01:18:54):
Right? And I mean, ultimately it's a it's a job
for the coach end of the day. That like, that's
where it should be coming from. Yeah, But I mean
I can't understand why some would be hurt about it
or but hurt again, it all depends on the delivery
and what was said and how it was said.

Speaker 1 (01:19:10):
Yeah, yeah for me, Yeah, well, apparently it must have
been a pretty intense delivery because I guess they said
they were criticizing and the father is that they got
the father's face over the whole thing. So apparently it
was an intense argument. So apparently that it was. I
don't think it was done in a helpful manner. But

(01:19:31):
if I'm to read the intention of the of the
of the you know question.

Speaker 6 (01:19:37):
Right, Yeah, that's what it seems like. Yeah, so yeah,
I don't know. I get the implication probably didn't go
down well. But also if if you're writing from the
person who did not like it and you're trying, you
could be painting it the person as a bigger thing
than it was. I got going you have to say, Hell,

(01:19:58):
I'm on the middle. I'm in the middle of an
ap fool's prank gone wrong. Oh I'm much more interested
in this one. I have a major dilemma on my
hands as HR director at my company. A coworker, let
let's let's call him Dave, pulled an early and epic
April Fools prank. He somehow got into the company email

(01:20:20):
system and sent a mass email to all one hundred
and fifty employees announcing that the company was going bankrupt
and that we'd all be receiving termination letters. The email
was really well written and convincing. Everyone freaked out. People
were crying, some were already packing up their desks, and
I had to scramble to make sure people didn't walk

(01:20:42):
out of the office. That's pretty good, But also I
would I would not have the balls to do that.
Would I would be to lose my job. To make
matters worse, our CEO was furious and said Dave could
be facing termination for what happened as a exactly what
I would be worried about if I did something like that. Right,

(01:21:03):
Some people think it was just a harmless joke. I'm
stuck in the middle because I love Dave. The CEO
and I are meeting to discuss the prank. Should Dave
be fired or is this just a case of a
bad prank gone too far? Well?

Speaker 1 (01:21:16):
The boy.

Speaker 6 (01:21:18):
Stoves, Oh, I know both. I yeah, Look, it's certainly
a bad prank gone wrong, and termination It could be
a bad prank gone wrong, and you can both be
terminated or not be terminated. Both things could be true
at once. So I mean it sounds like Dave is

(01:21:39):
a good worker and employee and hopefully.

Speaker 1 (01:21:43):
You know, must be pretty creative too.

Speaker 6 (01:21:46):
Yeah, I know, the only problem is, you know, you
can't really hack into your computer system and do things
like that. That seems really wrong. Yeah, it seems like
a really dumb thing. He probably should be fired for that.
Even if all like all one hundred and fifty employees
would have to like say, this is almost what I
would say, Like if every single person signs to say, yes,

(01:22:08):
we forgive them and it's fine, then this guy should
be given a very stern warning and.

Speaker 1 (01:22:14):
Like you know, maybe suspension or.

Speaker 6 (01:22:18):
Suspension and and like like some kind of discipline. But
like be be thinking us on your knees that you're
not fired. But if even one person says, uh no, like,
at what point can you sue you know, for some
of that, or what point anyways are you just like
you know, like I don't know, I don't really see

(01:22:39):
it any other way other than this guy, Like it's
it's great, I think it's funny. But yeah, that's not cool.
I would I would absolutely be.

Speaker 8 (01:22:50):
I'd be, I'd be, you'd be glad that they're not
pressing charges, right, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:22:55):
Right, Well, I think the biggest I think glaring thing
here that I he that he got into the company
email system that I think that probably would be the
only thing that would be the most serious thing of
the whole thing. Right if he were to just send
like a mass email on his own personal email account,

(01:23:18):
that to me, okay, everybody would kind of go yeah, yeah,
right right, yuck, yuck, you know this kind of thing, right,
But I don't know that that to me, that at
the very least I think would deserve at least, say
you're suspended for a week without pay.

Speaker 6 (01:23:34):
Now, Now, if he broke into the email system and
said something like, you know, company sponsored tickets to the
sperm racing event, oh, that would be like, Okay, no
one's going to really believe that. So like, yeah, you
know you're gonna get in trouble for breaking into that

(01:23:55):
and all that, but like, at the very least, you know,
you're not going to cause like emotional dis dressed to
someone the way that yeah, you all are going to
be losing your job.

Speaker 13 (01:24:04):
With right exactly, because but like you both freeped everyone
out in a in a bad way, and you did
the two things you pulled.

Speaker 6 (01:24:14):
If there was a grenade that had two pins, you
had to pull before you pulled both of them when
you when you could have just done one versus the other.

Speaker 1 (01:24:22):
Right, although you could have also hacked into the company
email and just said, you know, pretended that you were
the CEO and say, we want to congratulate Dave who
has just been promoted to vice executive vice president.

Speaker 6 (01:24:36):
Or well, why why stop there? Why why not make
Dave the new CEO?

Speaker 1 (01:24:41):
Yeah, you know, this god thing, I mean that this
kind of thing, you know, and and make a There's
so many other ways you probably could have gone with
this that would not have given everyone, you know, given
everybody a stroke, you know. So, but but I gotta admit.

Speaker 6 (01:24:57):
I mean, there's all the players are like, Man, I
was so tense after that email. It's almost like I
got a massage.

Speaker 1 (01:25:05):
Yeah yeah, right, yeah. But honestly, they say a good
lie is eighty percent of the truth.

Speaker 6 (01:25:11):
That's really good. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 (01:25:14):
So yeah, and this guy he yeah, So I don't know,
at the very least, I think you should get at
least a suspension without pay. I don't know if this
was his only thing that he did. I'm kind of
thinking that to fire the guy unless somebody, i mean
had some tangible damage. You'll say, if they if they

(01:25:38):
made some decision and it caused a tangible damage, you.

Speaker 6 (01:25:42):
Know, then they stand up to their boss.

Speaker 8 (01:25:45):
If you, Jerry, you can't walk that back, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:25:52):
Exactly, So they're like everybody, yeah, right right.

Speaker 12 (01:25:58):
So but am I thinking is that no body had
tangible damage, you know, something that like they died of
a heart attack or something, or they they ran off
and jumped off a bridge somewhere because of it or something.

Speaker 6 (01:26:09):
I mean, you know, the only other side of this
is that that email was so well written that they're
going to going to hire him and promote him to
well different position.

Speaker 1 (01:26:21):
Put put him in the promotions department for making some
really convincing uh you know, publicity stunts or something like that.
You know, so wow, I mean I could I could
also you know, kind of do the same thing and
say that we're completely doing away with insane games effective
immediately for the rest of the year. But you probably

(01:26:42):
would know that would be an April fool's.

Speaker 6 (01:26:43):
Joke, too too good to be true.

Speaker 14 (01:26:46):
Right, so, but but I mean I could also say
that the uh an April fool's joke is that we
have a golf course or rehab so easy that you'll
be able to actually get every single one of them
without any effort whatsoever.

Speaker 6 (01:27:00):
You could hack into the company email and send me
the list of answers to the insign games.

Speaker 1 (01:27:06):
Oh you know that that, you know, I never thought
about that. That might not be a bad idea, you know. Well, look,
I mean we're still saying that. You know, if if
you can actually get through.

Speaker 15 (01:27:19):
The the the the the whole insane game with with
no no mistakes, I will send you the insane games
and you can pull them on me.

Speaker 6 (01:27:31):
It'll it'll never happen. I've given up hope a long
time ago. A little man.

Speaker 1 (01:27:46):
You know, I'm open to talking about anything, but I
love talking about surviving in the stupidity that's always around us.
And if you're insane enough to ask, well, I'm insane
enough to reply, and I would love to hear from you.
You can leave me a message at podcast dot Insanericlaine
dot com. They have a comment there from a podcast
or if you have a question, I'll be happy to

(01:28:06):
address either one. Your question or comment just might be
talked about in a future podcast. And if you are
someone you know would like to join in on the podcast,
you are more than welcome to participate. If you've got
the podbean app on your phone, you can do just
that right from your smartphone, just like the other six
hundred thousand podcasters who also use it. Download the app

(01:28:26):
at your favorite app store and add this podcast to
your favorites. You can also email me with comments or
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and of course, you should certainly subscribe to the podcast
if you listen on Apple Iheartbreaker, YouTube, Amazon Music Player, FM, Podchaser,
Boom Play, Overcast, Pocketcast Radio, Public, Spotify, or any other

(01:28:49):
podcast platform, don't forget to bottow me on Facebook and
x at inst Eric Lane. It's time to play Eric
Lane's insane game Trip. I'm starring his insane Florida Nephew Punch.

(01:29:11):
What do you feel like jumping into?

Speaker 6 (01:29:13):
First? Thing?

Speaker 1 (01:29:14):
Off the back man?

Speaker 6 (01:29:16):
Well, I I'm trying to figure how to naked blend
in with one of our stories. But I can't think
of anything.

Speaker 1 (01:29:25):
Man, unless she wanted to do some sperm racing with
a porn star or a weather man.

Speaker 10 (01:29:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:29:30):
I mean, that's all I'm thinking. But I when I
think about that, I don't want to think about the
male part of the porns.

Speaker 1 (01:29:38):
You don't want you don't want to go hit the
head of the porn stars. That was just saying, well,
I was I.

Speaker 6 (01:29:42):
Was thinking, like, at least with strip clubber daycare, you know,
I could like blend it in with the weird guy
who's stripped down naked on the highway to find pants.

Speaker 1 (01:29:52):
Ah. Yeah, well looking for pants? That's not which which one?
Did you want? The strip club with the porn stars.

Speaker 6 (01:29:59):
Let's strip club first? And then all right, all right,
and at the title of the strip club, the name
of it is looking for pants. I think that could
be a great a great strip club name.

Speaker 1 (01:30:11):
Or just call it pantsless? You know that I don't know. Yeah, well,
all right, so we've got a we've got some businesses
here where you've got to figure out if this establishment
would be a strip club or a daycare. Your first
establishment is in Washington Park, Illinois. It's called Miss Kitties.

Speaker 6 (01:30:30):
Miss Kitties. Uh, miss Kitties, is a strip club?

Speaker 1 (01:30:37):
Well, of course it's with a K. That's right, exactly yes,
And of course it would be a strip club indeed.
All right. How about this one in Phoenix, Arizona. It's
called Stay and Play.

Speaker 6 (01:30:49):
Day and Play. Well, I think that strip club they
wanted to stay, but I don't think you're allowed to
do the playing part. I'm gonna say it's a.

Speaker 1 (01:30:58):
It might depends on who you're playing with or you
know what I'm saying. They have sperm racing at the script,
but it is indeed a takecare and that is exactly right.
All right. Here's one that's simply called Candy House in
wind Tiskill, New York.

Speaker 6 (01:31:18):
Candy House, candy House, I'm gonna say, is a strip club.

Speaker 1 (01:31:23):
Oh, lots of things to lick there. I guess what
you're saying, Yeah, it is a strip club. Good, good
discernment on that, all right. I like this one in Schenectady,
New York. This one is called Shenanigans.

Speaker 6 (01:31:40):
You don't drop your kids off at Shenanigans. Yeah, yeah,
we're gonna go.

Speaker 1 (01:31:47):
To Shenanigans and we're going to Oh yeah, that would
be a strip club. Exactly. Lots of Shenanigans go take
place in a strip club, for sure. Well, if that's
the case in what would be a place called the
playground in Seattle, Washington.

Speaker 6 (01:32:02):
Tough, I'm gonna say the playground is a daycare.

Speaker 1 (01:32:06):
It's a safe place to go and take the kids
for a little place for the playground, except it is
a strip.

Speaker 6 (01:32:14):
My shot is already over for there is.

Speaker 1 (01:32:19):
Well, you know you were on a good roll there
for a while, all right, But nevertheless, let's see how
well you do. See if you can at least get
all five in porn star or weather man. We've got
some entertainers you have to decide based on their name
and whether you think they would be whether man or
whether it be a porn star. So you're first entertainer,
Joseph Dames.

Speaker 6 (01:32:38):
Joseph Dames. I'm gonna say that Joseph Dames is a
weather man.

Speaker 1 (01:32:46):
Even then, even if he may like some Dames with
him somewhere, you know, Okay, Joseph Dames was actually a
weather man in Oregon. That is correct, very good? All right. Uh,
there's one of some cool alliteration.

Speaker 6 (01:32:59):
Preston Parker, Preston Parker. Yeah, alliteration usually works, but for
some reason, the name Preston I'm getting porn star vibes.

Speaker 1 (01:33:09):
Really Preston, Yeah, this is true. It's probably more common
for a porn porn star. So yes, it is indeed
a porn star. All right, very very good. You're you're
kind of like spot On here, You're on your game
for this? All right? All right, Well I'm another alliteration
name here. Uh, Brandon Butcher, Brandon Butcher.

Speaker 6 (01:33:32):
I'm gonna say that Brandon Butcher is a porn star.

Speaker 1 (01:33:37):
Butcher's a few things. Maybe Brandon is also kind of
a porn star name too. I guess he's a weatherman
though in South Carolina.

Speaker 6 (01:33:45):
Really, so, I don't know I would.

Speaker 1 (01:33:49):
I don't don't know why I would not use Butcher
in my name. I would change it. Brandon Butcher is
just not not for a weatherman, you know. Maybe if
I worked in the meat department someway, like like in.

Speaker 6 (01:34:01):
A like in Miami. So film, yeah, in Miami, right,
I need I need to certainly taking notes on on
the instant games here for being able to switch things around.

Speaker 1 (01:34:14):
That's true. Well, how about this interesting name. This entertainer
goes by the name of n War Night and war
Nights Night with a K, Night with a K.

Speaker 6 (01:34:25):
That's correct. I think that war Knight is m Night
Shamalon's warm star brother.

Speaker 1 (01:34:34):
I thought it was. It was a war that made
you think that was a night with a K. It
made you think that all of it, all of it,
did all of it all? Yeah, and night actually is
a weather man in Canada.

Speaker 6 (01:34:46):
Really look at that.

Speaker 1 (01:34:49):
And were night? All right, here's one that you might
get that may not. I don't know, but it's a
clever name one way or the other. This is an
entertainer goes by Woody Fox.

Speaker 6 (01:35:00):
Wood he Fox. Well, this is very clearly a porn star.

Speaker 1 (01:35:06):
And I bet Woody Fox would be a great name
if you're going to be involved in sperm racing.

Speaker 6 (01:35:11):
Yes, absolutely, I would. I would bet my money on that.

Speaker 1 (01:35:16):
Yeah, well he would probably win sperm racing, I bet
you any thing. Yeah, all right, that's good. All right,
so so far you've only missed one in each one category,
so that's not bad. So what do you feel confident
to jump into next?

Speaker 6 (01:35:29):
He's learning.

Speaker 1 (01:35:32):
That's right.

Speaker 6 (01:35:33):
I'm gonna say, gay bar, take out your gay bar?
You all right?

Speaker 1 (01:35:40):
Okay, you're on a roll.

Speaker 6 (01:35:41):
All right, I got I figure, do they have a
t s a scanner at the door or not?

Speaker 1 (01:35:47):
No, at the gay bar to see. I don't know.
Maybe if you go through a scanner at a gay
bar it makes you straight.

Speaker 16 (01:35:55):
No, I think I think that's more just like, uh,
what what do they say? I can't I can't think
of the words. I can't think of words right out here.

Speaker 6 (01:36:07):
It's just then making sure that you know they've got
their clientele.

Speaker 1 (01:36:14):
Okay, I said so, in other words, you want to
have them, you know, the gay beams to be as
you walk in the front doors.

Speaker 6 (01:36:22):
That's right. It's like a safety measure for them to make.
All right, Well, what's a word for this? I cannot
think it'll come to you right with me.

Speaker 1 (01:36:34):
Yeah, that's right. So all right, I've got businesses here.
You tell me whether these are steakhouses or if they
shoot gay beams at you when you walk in the
front door. It's a gay bar. So all right, your
first business is called the Spot in New York City,
New York.

Speaker 6 (01:36:50):
Oh yeah, that's the spot, you know, And that's we'll
call it the Prostate. I think it's a gay bar.

Speaker 1 (01:36:57):
You know, that's a great name. For a gay bar. Actually,
just call it the prostate is a gay bar, that
is right.

Speaker 6 (01:37:03):
I mean, that's the spot they're talking.

Speaker 1 (01:37:05):
About, right, it is the spot. All right, that's good,
that's good. All right. Here's one in Tyler, Texas. It's
called Coyote Sam.

Speaker 6 (01:37:14):
Coyote SAMs. I'm gonna say Kyote SAMs is. I feel
like I should know this, but I don't pay attention
to games. I try to forget about it a little bit.
I'm gonna say a steakhouse. I think I'm wrong.

Speaker 1 (01:37:29):
Really, you think somete SAMs?

Speaker 6 (01:37:32):
All right?

Speaker 1 (01:37:33):
All right, Coyote SAMs in Texas. Remember it's in Tyler, Texas.
All right, I don't know how much you have tolerance Texas. Yeah,
it's a it is a steak ye yeah. All right?
Oh yeah, all right. Here's one called just Cowboys in
North South Carolina.

Speaker 6 (01:37:54):
Yeah, it's just cowboys. I'm assuming that's what you're looking for.
I think it's a gay bar.

Speaker 1 (01:38:00):
Cowboys in North Charleston, South Carolina. Is a steakhouse.

Speaker 6 (01:38:05):
That's a missed.

Speaker 1 (01:38:08):
Stay there there you go?

Speaker 6 (01:38:10):
All right?

Speaker 1 (01:38:10):
So well, I mean, let's see we we don't have
a broke back Mountain Cowboys coming to this particular one. So,
but we do have this one in Renton, Washington called
Jimmy Max.

Speaker 6 (01:38:24):
Jimmy Max. Yeah, I don't know, steakhouse.

Speaker 1 (01:38:34):
It's a clever name, that is for sure, and it
is a steakhouse for sure. All right, that's good. All right.
Last one in Crescent, Iowa, the heart of America right
in the Midwest. The name is called the Pink Poodle.

Speaker 6 (01:38:49):
The Pink Poodle that is. Oh man, we've had the
pink Poodle on here before, and I think we have
I think it's is pink, but I think it's actually
a red hairing. I think it's a steakhouse.

Speaker 1 (01:39:06):
Unless you like your steak's pink.

Speaker 6 (01:39:08):
I mean, yeah, made out of dog meat.

Speaker 1 (01:39:13):
Well, I was gonna say, you do you want a
piece of dog meat grilled on the on the grill?
That's true. Well, it is a steakhouse, that's correct. So
again you've kept it with just missing one in each one,
so you've actually been pretty consistent.

Speaker 6 (01:39:28):
Close.

Speaker 1 (01:39:29):
Yeah, So all right. Your last one then would be
golf course or I don't know. Yeah, I think you're
doing good. You're you're on an upward swing here.

Speaker 6 (01:39:39):
So I did so sharp today.

Speaker 1 (01:39:41):
Yeah, we got we got some businesses here. You have
to figure out which one is the golf course and
which one is the rehab.

Speaker 6 (01:39:47):
All right.

Speaker 1 (01:39:48):
Your first business in Dilworth, Minnesota. It's called red River.

Speaker 6 (01:39:54):
Red River. Red River, I'm gonna say, is a the.

Speaker 1 (01:40:01):
Golf course, nice and peaceful red River. It is a rehab.
There's your one.

Speaker 6 (01:40:10):
Here goes all right. I know where it's going from here,
all right.

Speaker 1 (01:40:18):
Every time this business is located in Edmond, Oklahoma, called
Rose Creek.

Speaker 6 (01:40:26):
Rose Creek, I'm gonna say Rose Creek is. I'm gonna
say that is ah gosh.

Speaker 16 (01:40:38):
I'm gonna lose it all right here, this is this
particular game is gonna be why I'm never gonna give
you an old figure.

Speaker 6 (01:40:46):
Rose Creek is a golf course.

Speaker 1 (01:40:49):
You're sure about that. That's that's your I feel like
I should you go.

Speaker 6 (01:40:57):
You're telling me to you.

Speaker 1 (01:40:59):
Sound like you're trying to get a snake to get
away from you.

Speaker 6 (01:41:03):
Sound like you want me to change my answer. It
sounds like you're doing so out of sympathy, not out
of trying to actually mislead me.

Speaker 1 (01:41:12):
Actually, Rose Creek is a golf course. Oh yes, that's good.
That's good.

Speaker 6 (01:41:21):
All right, it's just not possible.

Speaker 1 (01:41:25):
No, well, no, here's here's here's one that's a pretty
interesting name. It's just simply called Elkhorn Ridge in Spearfish,
South Dakota.

Speaker 6 (01:41:36):
Elk Corn Ridge. I'm gonna say a rehab.

Speaker 1 (01:41:39):
Ah nice, but you know it's a ridge. Yeah, I
can see how that would be. It's a golf course.

Speaker 6 (01:41:45):
Yes, I can always tell when you're about to give
me the buzzer beforehand. Yeah, maybe feel good about it
myself before you rip it away.

Speaker 1 (01:41:55):
Well I know. All right, Well, well here's one that
might give you some idea. This is in Shrewsbury, Vermont
up in New England called Spring Lake Ranch.

Speaker 6 (01:42:07):
Spring Lake Ranch. Well, this has got to be a rehab.

Speaker 1 (01:42:09):
Because of the ranch. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, there you go.
All right, so far, so good. Normally you do get
three out of five typically in the golf course of
the rehab. All right, so you're still keeping it about average. Okay,
so you get your last one here.

Speaker 6 (01:42:27):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (01:42:27):
This is located in Bastrop, Texas. Willow Springs.

Speaker 6 (01:42:33):
Willow Springs. I'm gonna say another rehab.

Speaker 1 (01:42:37):
Because the springs or maybe the weeping willows or something
like that. Maybe, right, well, Willow Springs and bass struck Texas.

Speaker 17 (01:42:45):
Actually is uh, all right, absolutely well, all right, so
at least maintain that's not that's not so bad.

Speaker 1 (01:42:56):
All right, So you did you.

Speaker 6 (01:42:57):
Did at it felt though.

Speaker 1 (01:43:01):
But you know, I really think you sweated on this
one this time. This is the one you really sweated through.
So but you did very well. So now now this
is uh, you know, our last one's always fake news
of Florida, and this is the one typically you do
pretty well on. There's a few curveballs that's in here.
But we got some headlines. You have to determine whether
I'm telling you a fake news story or whether this

(01:43:22):
headline really took place in the state of Florida. All right,
your first headline, police in Jupiter arrested a mother after
her daughter wore her purse containing three pounds of marijuana
to school.

Speaker 6 (01:43:38):
Oh man, I'm gonna say that's fake news. That's a
new one.

Speaker 1 (01:43:42):
I've not heard that before. Yeah, well, it actually is
a fake news story. Absolutely, three pounds of marijuana. That's
a lot. Yeah yeah, okay, wow, all right, here's one
where an Orlando woman was caught on video shading her
legs as she rode on the back of a motor cycle.

Speaker 6 (01:44:01):
Yeah, I'm gonna say, Florida, I'm so dangerous.

Speaker 1 (01:44:05):
But wow, okay, well that actually is a Florida story. Yes,
I wonder if it happened down nine ninety five.

Speaker 6 (01:44:16):
Just don't burn those freshly shaven legs on the east.

Speaker 1 (01:44:20):
Car of the exhaust pipe right now. But yeah, I
could see something like that on nine ninety five easily,
very much. So all right, Well, here's one where police
in Coco arrested a woman who shot her boyfriend because
he was snoring too loudly. Florida, without a doubt, is
that you said? Very confident about that? Yeah, well, absolutely Florida.

(01:44:42):
That's exactly right. All right. Moving down to Fort Walton Beach,
a Fort Walton Beach man was arrested for attacking a
mattress because he claims there was a man hiding inside
of it.

Speaker 6 (01:44:59):
It's such a crazy that's Florida.

Speaker 1 (01:45:03):
It's crazy enough to be Florida. Well, it is absolutely
true story from Florida. All right, so far, so good.
I would love to have been the cop coming to
that particular scene. Sure, all right. Last, but not least,
police in Miami City were forced to arrest a nine

(01:45:25):
to one one operator who refused to take calls because
she was quote fighting with her.

Speaker 6 (01:45:30):
Man, fighting with her man. I think that's fake news.

Speaker 1 (01:45:35):
That's quite the story, absolute totally false. That's exactly right. So,
like I said, you nail those headlines right after, you know.

Speaker 6 (01:45:45):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean I kept my average
at least to four out of five.

Speaker 1 (01:45:51):
Well, yeah, exactly. I mean, and and you know, like
I said, you did better this week than you did
last week.

Speaker 6 (01:45:56):
That's still eighty.

Speaker 1 (01:45:59):
That's a B that's still that's still not bad. I mean,
these the some of some of them are kind of
rearranged in different ways, and some of them are brand new.
So I mean, it's it's it's kind of cool. But
but we've got some new stupidity that I've been looking
at for next week. And you'll be happy to know.

(01:46:21):
I don't I don't know that usually by the time
by the time I'm telling you about this, and I'm
about halfway through, and there's always others that are coming
after that we've recorded the podcast, and I'm thinking I
should have said, I should have seen this one sooner.
But but but you'll be happy to know or maybe
unhappy to know that we have an update on Toco

(01:46:41):
in college.

Speaker 6 (01:46:42):
Yeah, we keep talking. He's getting way too much airtime
on our podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:46:47):
But look, the thing is he's got a problem because uh,
you know, he had his zoo. You can put on
a mal malam mood. Well, there's people. He may have
to close the zoo because nobody's coming to it.

Speaker 6 (01:47:01):
Oh yeah, so who would have ever guessed that?

Speaker 3 (01:47:04):
Man?

Speaker 6 (01:47:08):
We two of us should plan a field trip there
and record live.

Speaker 1 (01:47:12):
Wouldn't that be great? That would be awesome?

Speaker 6 (01:47:14):
That was well.

Speaker 1 (01:47:15):
Now here's one. A woman runs over another woman for
walking with her estranged husband.

Speaker 6 (01:47:24):
He runs over another woman for walking with her estrange.

Speaker 1 (01:47:28):
Right, this woman runs over another woman because she sees
her walking with her a strange husband.

Speaker 6 (01:47:33):
That's a lot of baggage.

Speaker 1 (01:47:35):
That's a lot of baggage.

Speaker 6 (01:47:37):
Back to tocover really quickly. I will actually pay for
a ticket.

Speaker 1 (01:47:41):
For you to go there to dress up as a malamute.

Speaker 6 (01:47:46):
I would depending on how much the ticket is. Yeah,
well it would be bucks, it would be that'd be
worth it. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (01:47:57):
Yeah, well you talked about removing ticks from your back.

Speaker 6 (01:48:02):
I prefer the phrase female body inspecting.

Speaker 1 (01:48:05):
Yeah, we all right. Well, well here we have a
Brazilian influencer who was hospitalized with a frozen but.

Speaker 6 (01:48:13):
A frozen but a frozen.

Speaker 1 (01:48:16):
But yeah, so that's all I'm gonna say.

Speaker 6 (01:48:19):
You got you gotta saw that out before Thanksgiving?

Speaker 1 (01:48:22):
Yeah, that's right, that's right, So that that's coming. Okay.
And then I don't know if you saw this or
heard about this or not, but apparently there's a sports
reporter he's getting slammed because apparently, during a live broadcast
he was interviewed at working with the Atlanta Braves. He
basically asks for a woman's phone number during a live broadcast.

(01:48:43):
He's like soliciting her.

Speaker 6 (01:48:46):
Does he realize he's live? No?

Speaker 1 (01:48:48):
No, I think he does. I think he realizes that
he's live. And that's what's crazy. So, and people are
not happy, all right, and you're gonna love this. I
love this one. Okay, this is this is perfect. There's
a h let me see it. I'm I think word
where it's located? I can't right anyway, there is an
actual pizzeria, like a local mom and pop pizzeria. They

(01:49:09):
are now charging a bitching fee for informing them they
got the wrong beer.

Speaker 6 (01:49:14):
Oh man, Well, but what if you took the g
off and then that's a good thing whenever you take the.

Speaker 1 (01:49:21):
G Well, that's true when you take to me. But yeah,
well well exactly exactly.

Speaker 6 (01:49:29):
And when you say I can't say the other word,
I'm kidding.

Speaker 1 (01:49:33):
Well no, seriously, I mean, I mean this was on
the receipt and so so you have a receiver?

Speaker 6 (01:49:40):
How much? How much is.

Speaker 1 (01:49:47):
Yeah, it's a real deal right now.

Speaker 6 (01:49:48):
Now here's one.

Speaker 1 (01:49:49):
I think that it would at least pique your interest
because apparently.

Speaker 6 (01:49:54):
Bar the wrong beer basically a feed and as we'll
call it for being a pussy. Yeah, right, basically what
I say.

Speaker 1 (01:50:05):
That's right, that's exactly right. But no, I thought this
was kind of an interesting headlight because you know, this
kind of hits coast. So but apparently there are a
shortage of cousins. Now, a shortage of cousins, A shortage
of cousins.

Speaker 6 (01:50:22):
Who are the who are the Arkansas? West Virginia is
gonna marry? I can't get it right?

Speaker 1 (01:50:30):
Yeah, this is from the New York Post is saying
that we because of the birth rate decline, we could
be seeing a shortage of cousins.

Speaker 6 (01:50:37):
Yeah, I've got I've got a friend whose grandparents for cousins.
Actually they blame all of their family issues on that.
There you go.

Speaker 1 (01:50:45):
I don't know, but all right, and we have a
great story. That's true depends on how you how well
you get along with them. But we have a great
story from Pennsylvania where a a director of food and
nutrition at a school district was caught pooping in a
store beer cave.

Speaker 6 (01:51:07):
Maybe this guy is one of the drink relieved himself.

Speaker 1 (01:51:15):
Well, wait, the whole story itself, it's just bizarre to
start with already, all right, and now you know, we've
we've had women, right, We've had women who've married a tree.
You know, We've had women who've you know, done weird
things that we had. One married herself. Well, now now
we have a woman at well right, right, right, So

(01:51:38):
now we have a woman who married a river, a river, right,
and so she's issuing a statement on the health of
their relationship, on how they're getting along after she married
a river. All right. So and uh, then we've got
a male flight No, I'm sorry, a flight made. A
flight had to make an emergency. This is the perfect

(01:52:01):
story for Easter. A flight had to make an emergency
landing after an encounter with a bunny. Yes, all right,
So and then we got so we we Now we
also have the story of an only Fans model who

(01:52:22):
has gotten some new charges on some things. Of course,
she was first charged with spring or pee all over
the produce at a grocery store. Yeah, well she's she's
gotten that. She's got well, she's got more charges on
top of that.

Speaker 6 (01:52:38):
That's the model. People would pay a lot of money
for that though.

Speaker 1 (01:52:44):
That's right, they would, they would. Then we've got a
mom that was found passed out on the side of
the road with her toddler son playing on the roadside.

Speaker 6 (01:52:54):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (01:52:56):
Yeah, okay. And then we've got this is you've heard
stories that people are trying to do bizarre things to
their body for the for the whole cause of, you know,
maintaining good looks. Now we have men taking hammers to
their cheekbones. It's the rise of look smacking influencers.

Speaker 6 (01:53:18):
So you could actually chisel your jawline.

Speaker 1 (01:53:21):
They're smashing. They're smashing their cheekbones with a hammer.

Speaker 6 (01:53:26):
Yeah, they're doing Are they breaking their bones to.

Speaker 1 (01:53:31):
I mean, I don't know. It says they're smashing their cheekbones.

Speaker 6 (01:53:34):
That's it, you know, when people got smashed, they were
just drinking.

Speaker 1 (01:53:39):
They were just drinking too much, right, And then we
got the full story, which I hinted at earlier in
the in the podcast of the unexpected surprise inside the
thirty year old Easter eggs from Grandma's house.

Speaker 6 (01:53:52):
Oh yes, that's a real story coming up.

Speaker 1 (01:53:57):
That's a real story coming up. All right, it gets
even more bizarre the more. Okay, and this is kind
of interesting just because it's coming from Canada, But we
have a Canadian man who is accused of setting Vancouver
police officers on fire, setting their uniform on fire with
the police officers still inside. Yeah, so right, bizarre stuff.

(01:54:19):
So and of course being from Canada, they're so apologetic
for everything, you know.

Speaker 6 (01:54:24):
So lighting on fire. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry?

Speaker 10 (01:54:30):
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:54:31):
So that's that's that's a few of the bizarre stupidity
that we got coming next week. And of course there'll
be more, I'm sure the next few days between now
and the time that we get back together. So there's
always great stuff. And we might have a new penis
story too.

Speaker 6 (01:54:45):
You know, I always look for one of those, not
because it's tsa scanners. Though this podcast is gonna be
so long.

Speaker 1 (01:54:56):
Oh this is, but it's great stuff.

Speaker 6 (01:54:58):
Man, it's great everybody.

Speaker 1 (01:55:00):
Oh no, no, no, I mean look, we're talking about,
you know, snakes eating eggs and uh, you.

Speaker 6 (01:55:06):
Know, we're gonna give our audience one of those aneurysm strokes.

Speaker 1 (01:55:11):
Though, I don't know, I don't know. When you keep
talking about sperm racing, I think people will be wanting
to This could be one of the podcasts that more
people tune in for, because, let's see, sperm racing is
I guess we're checking out.

Speaker 6 (01:55:23):
Right, Well, we should stay sperm racing for right now,
this moment. Maybe maybe they don't finally get sponsored for something.

Speaker 1 (01:55:34):
Well, maybe we'll sponsor our own sperm racing contests. Who knows.
That could be added to the new Florida Man Games
that they have every year at Saint Augustine.

Speaker 6 (01:55:42):
No, no, no, that would be that even weirder than that,
that would be very weird.

Speaker 1 (01:55:51):
It would That's it. That's it, so all right, well listen,
enjoy your week, and we'll see what surprise. Yes, happy Easter,
and we'll see what surprise as we have next week.

Speaker 6 (01:56:01):
I almost almost feel bad that this is airing on
Holy Week.

Speaker 1 (01:56:09):
Stupidity takes no break for the holidays.

Speaker 18 (01:56:13):
Yeah, help spread the stupidity, Share, rate and review the
podcast five star. Stupidity deserves a five star rating. If

(01:56:37):
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(01:56:57):
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(01:57:18):
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Speaker 1 (01:57:39):
Call Call Come chall Call Come Call Call chall.

Speaker 10 (01:57:48):
Insane Eric Lane's Stupid World is produced with the support
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Speaker 4 (01:58:02):
The music from Randy Stonehill It's a Great, Big Stupid
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Speaker 5 (01:58:13):
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