July 31, 2025 • 25 mins
A legendary variety show blending witty monologues, comic sketches, and musical interludes, all anchored by the impeccable timing of its beloved host. It’s a masterclass in comedic timing.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
This is that famous year a lovely ladies get a
break and not a word at least here. Well, forgive me,
lady's not replied if I hand out sift to the back,
and that is look before your lease, boys looking for
the important matter of food.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
And if you can't make book distance, that make fies.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Justine George, he does know all about jello or a
gimmering rold of blowing yellow.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I saved many a mere. That's because yellow taste so good.
Who extract fruit flavor?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
We fruit flavor? Repecting and appetizing a freak that put
goodness is your right in if.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Your body the satisfied.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
But just remember you won't find it.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
In any other gelatin dessert.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
No other has demos like this extract flavor. There is
only one Jello and only yellow. They fight as good
as ever the bull fight, lad And I'm verly sorry enough,
(01:49):
but you turn the will be unable to fare on
my program, O angeliver. It's not attack of laryn gidis,
which has resulted in me fromplet balls of the voice.
But you will do with us again that Sunday night,
Oh Tenny, I.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Didn't see Johnny leading off of the WS. I don't
know John.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
I don't see Jack around either.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Well that's the fighting state of affairs.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Well, of what could have happened to them? I thought
I'm doing far about it now though, if they didn't
meet with an accident, he got him Hello, Oh hello Jacks,
where are you are you at a lot of it happen? Well,
God glory with them right over? Its man a don
like Jack and Johnny. Well, let's the proceeding. I'm not
(02:30):
gonna over telegraph pole.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
He isn't that offer?
Speaker 3 (02:33):
The other words?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
He lay a Condie Dale and think you can pick
up Jack? Betty please, okay, it's.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
My name.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
And MD and they fell of a six shut up
all right? They wasn't you in for buddy?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I'm just there?
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Oh, pardon the Wyn't you get to easier bread and water?
Speaker 4 (03:00):
What?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
No? Gellow Jan Dariel? Hey Johnny, where are you upper?
Speaker 5 (03:06):
Jevin?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Oh you didn't get a lower?
Speaker 5 (03:10):
Why your mother?
Speaker 6 (03:11):
All right?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
What did you think he's talking about?
Speaker 6 (03:14):
Quarter? Jio?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I see like a quarter and John Wilson's pocket. I'll
never get out.
Speaker 7 (03:21):
Just where this.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Here's the guy you walk that's gonna distant to Mike
as trapper.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Why Mary's sister. Hello, mate, what happened to Mary?
Speaker 4 (03:28):
He got lines out of Yeah, and she's sent me
over to see talking for you.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
What's happening?
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Well, we left Johnny's house driving to the studio and
we were only going seventy two miles an hour.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Then put you and put like that, they can't Where
do you think I am?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
In Bermuda?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Thought we had a flight accident and I ran into
a telegraph pole.
Speaker 8 (03:47):
And my previous gotchas you get after the lap?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yeah, yeah, where is Johnny? Dream in the next girl? Well, Johnny,
here's Mary's sister. You remember?
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Maybe? Oh? Sure?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Oh Maley, Johnny, you're half a mar You look any part.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
It reminds me of a popular song.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Well, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
It's round and mom.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Very many go to do something we're good at.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I don't want to say we're all low. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
I don't can know anybody.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Yeah, I'm one of the time.
Speaker 8 (04:20):
He's a very kind of money.
Speaker 6 (04:21):
He's got a lot of no time.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
It's the phone with one over in the corner there
with a boy and singing on us. Okay, yeah, I
hope you can leave something fish.
Speaker 9 (04:31):
Operator designifican ohne.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Yeah, it was nice of marriage and get it over.
Also enough this is many Yeah how long they have
to pay death?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
The great jolly.
Speaker 6 (04:46):
Who?
Speaker 4 (04:47):
People let me left to drive last time?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
No? No, yeah, yeah no, get to the point. Maybe
you're a great you know I'm your happy last to
you at five of mine. I'm not a boy.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Name.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I thought you were going to.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Hitch it for me about the.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
Way.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I thought it a much guy. There you're bak like
an old Oh yeah, yeah, I'm sorry to her you too.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
There's Johnny the next girl.
Speaker 7 (05:32):
There's Tunny me a joy er. You're telling people bunting
b r. I know the biggest fall people in town.
Where's it all?
Speaker 4 (05:38):
You?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Never mind? You just had that the yeah I heard
you go?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Do you a long time? You got your copy us
in adverts.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I happen to have the thanks job you can have
bad black.
Speaker 8 (05:51):
I happen to advert.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
You's gonna have LANDI if we said a marriage, I'm
just trying to yet a little time, very sep.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
I don't want to see jack stan a good agree.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Oh there they are and I'll make a oh. Hold on, John,
I'm glad you drooped over.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I don't think good dug, where are you right here
and fell sick. Well, don't forget the jubble well delicious flavors, Bob.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
And Jelly always even Jimmy, I get that, Oh John,
you can't get be something bars Burt Jack. I made
away with the duties and bought that from here.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
For the next Boston.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
That's fine.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Where's the Miza phone right here, we'll give it to
me sand by Kenny Well, hullo hoo.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
This is the dinner Hole program.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
And Kenny Baker allow thing a little loads of the
landstow from Anton picture loads of the ransom.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Ah my, oh.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
I s.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Yea, what that did?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Every single bird look to your parents time.
Speaker 6 (07:32):
I would be conce.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
What would I, sir? What would I send to call.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Hour I?
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Because you look.
Speaker 6 (07:58):
But I know love her?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
He would never sern how underful?
Speaker 6 (08:11):
Yall?
Speaker 4 (08:21):
What about lord ba.
Speaker 6 (08:42):
The y.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Let's go listen to the prisoner's applauding. But I was
a little rod with a lante done by Jenny Bakers
coming to you from the bill room of the Commy jail.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
That was very nice, Jenny, But you were behind two
bars of music that star to being behind the bars
like you.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Come on because it was your time.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
O your time is my well simulator?
Speaker 4 (09:31):
Jack?
Speaker 3 (09:32):
What you want to do?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
A blond don far time? Why hollout blong for Johnny
with an awful looking characters Tom Jay Lander. Okay, look
at that color fellow over there on the opposite sell. Yeah,
I wonder what he did?
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Then you called him me?
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Along him for I'm here on blue red words my home. Hey,
you must have done something?
Speaker 3 (10:01):
What are you in for?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
God? They gave me fifteen years to drawing money out
of our bank with our bank book they did.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Then they gave me.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Twenty years to stopping the man that tried to stop.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Me, no kidding. Then again it's seven years but thotal
reason without seeing clean.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
H brother got a home?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
No even thirty games lot but just being a little good. Oh, hey,
what's your name?
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Dan's new?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Dan's new? Dang heard on man like an I call
you're in a picture? Yeah, you gave me ten more
years for that. That's too bad.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
I store them go? Or sallwe which is the one stuck?
I was ever old?
Speaker 3 (10:54):
John?
Speaker 4 (10:54):
It is so bad.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
My father and mother will be one at six the top.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Top the moon? What's top of fo?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
You're a word on Tucker, But looking tellers, follow your PRIs.
I could sell you a story I've heard the other day.
They'll make a glad your living jailor knows this. Have
you got a minute, Yeah, well, listen to this. It's
one of the saddest stories you've ever heard.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
It's gonna make your blader liver. Listen. Once there were
three lobsters living up in me another.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
Lobster, a father lobster, and a baby lost eating, sleeping
and eating a healthy authors When one day the baby
lobster was caught and taken away from its part.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
For one years. They've given up books of ever seeing
the baby. And one game they were in Rhode Island.
They in some relative The father and mother lobster.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Were caught and slowly to the window of a seat in.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
The lowlands and head light in front of them. Because
bas this giant flock, the largest one of the entire
windows longs is not up to the vice. They recognize
him a new deal and get along. They have stuff,
but they got a bad to.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
John.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
The mother roster says John t how is it more
than twenty years? Begins? If he's not a pop water,
if you ain't and the funny, guys, I'll tell your
mom I'm the big rooster. But the lader always shows
a customer that the customer never gets.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Everything.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Isn't that bad?
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Johnny bird? God got the red star I've ever heard?
Speaker 7 (12:40):
Yeah, get something to blink, you camp him and do
whatever you're clean m a p mainly begin again.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
You get up the world something.
Speaker 6 (12:49):
Yeah, I'm.
Speaker 9 (12:51):
Start he give he is Yeah, they yeah, I had
anybody I haven't say, go and get up. You've been
jack n says kind of shy Arry we annybody see
a bunch of three brown if you got these people, Lason, Jack,
I've got.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
A day of the good thing to the fund lady.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Or how you get a board? If you don't high
pre adam, you're getting up the vile oh ideal?
Speaker 7 (13:18):
Are you guys hearing there?
Speaker 6 (13:22):
Jack?
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, the high up it is one n.
Speaker 9 (13:25):
The getting gel about me.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
They weren't even were the paring of the young the
hey boy, he's young.
Speaker 6 (14:02):
Usin everything anything do anything of them?
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Int Hey, you what's the idea of saying goes far?
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Oh, pardon me, I'm just filling a little time that stall.
You know, there's really nothing to do around here. If
I cause any damage, I'll be I'll be glad to
pay for it.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Oh you're so where did you get that star? I
gave it to him.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I belonged to a sign.
Speaker 8 (15:29):
Has a thrower.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Because mister ben here, yeah, here he is and still
number six.
Speaker 8 (15:37):
Well the.
Speaker 7 (15:44):
People get from a thing gang game.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Yeah, but I didn't know you were a lawyer.
Speaker 8 (15:48):
Well, here's my time, signore you I am.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Nah?
Speaker 8 (15:59):
They didn't he bunny, he bring a whole to persons.
Speaker 6 (16:08):
What did you do?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Well?
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I was driving my car, am I?
Speaker 3 (16:11):
You didn't good? I?
Speaker 4 (16:12):
Yes, you give me a free business? Said maybe?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Will you free go home? Why did I run the
two digs? Well, I was driving seventy two miles an
hour and run into a telegraph pole.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
You're going fifteen miles an hour and running draft sixty?
I remember about a day.
Speaker 8 (16:29):
Why do you know I got three much of a
coming from Potasha? N if the dinner is good? Last
to twenty Christmas?
Speaker 3 (16:36):
That for instance, the Lion, the night of LIPI throw
seven couple of fight.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Well, I don't remember, that's it.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
But the whore, He asked the question about the accident.
You don't remember, listen, I was writing.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Seventy three huns an hour, and I'm not down a
pole n to hit you n't driving in the PA bound. Yeah,
the w a t different when they give up.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I hit this couplet there.
Speaker 7 (16:57):
And by extra well, grand hy, I get out of this.
I get wring my last to a son of a
pussing sky fron of my hydrants, and I got him
over attend.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Do me a favor. We're gonna go over there and
defend Johnny Green? Where is it right there on the
next sel? Oh, we're gonna Green, I'm presuming.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Yeah, No, what didn't you do?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
I don't remember life.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
You let me you're having a camp or not? I
should to have an answer.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Yeah, I got out of my lang n.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
It's to day.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
I let it cook to the gent in.
Speaker 8 (17:26):
The way of the woman. Couldn't time your birse three
dollars a people.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Close to kick, Well, what you're waiting for?
Speaker 8 (17:31):
He's the way he's gonna make a super five and nothing.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I'll pay him a six dollars to get about it,
or me do the raying croup.
Speaker 7 (17:41):
And sometimes I go there for three months away by
the case like this, of course, you know, I got
to get.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
My usual withinner what do you get on dollars?
Speaker 4 (17:53):
You know?
Speaker 3 (17:53):
I first, yank, I do.
Speaker 6 (17:57):
All?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
I got a five dollars?
Speaker 3 (17:58):
All right, I don't see you for the bone.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Well what can I get you? If I want to
right here, I'm coming you.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Too, you know?
Speaker 7 (18:08):
If you very here about annything love there there's a.
Speaker 8 (18:11):
Purna ban I've been the medic off I'm very prime thing.
Then I give an offense of clients. Let me do
the world.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
He be my bunn.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
That was music goes round and round with Johnny Green
as the fiance. And now we take the microphones to
the courtroom for the file of Jack Penny and Johnny Green.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Order and mccaya.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Where do I know you from?
Speaker 3 (20:24):
How do you mean here in a courtroom?
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Sit down here with me?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Well, I'll call the case from Jack Benny and Johnny
Green versus the telegraph pools as does go attorney here,
Miss Benny, but money.
Speaker 8 (20:41):
Here an I supposes the curp house to down.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
It seems for the person.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Jack Penny and the firstan Johnny Green, we're driving seventy
two miles an hour and ran into a defenseless telegraph pool.
Turney for the pole here crazy, Then I will call
the first witness.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
I'n Wilson.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
That sounds for me.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Yeah, well your wis I am a Serusan for Jello
and we're just selling jealous and desert in the world.
Are you acquainted with the defendant? Yes, you're honored. What
kind of fellow is Jack Benney? Well, Dad don't know
us how to describe him. But if you ever see
two men sitting in the cafe and one of them
reaches for the text, the other one is Jack Benny.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
That sounds like when I'm married Joe.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Yes, order in the course.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Where's Johnny Green? I don't blame him, that's all, mister Wilson.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
I'll not pull the defendant.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Mister Benny e pen, thank you. A funny thing happened
to me on the way to the studio. You want
to tell the truth?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Holdop, nothing but so hold you.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
I have bit objected over the rules.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
You where to tell the truth?
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Nothing but the truth will help you.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I don't remember, is that right?
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Liar?
Speaker 8 (22:12):
The surface?
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Were you or were you not? Stepping on the gas
at the rate of seventy two miles an hour?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
I don't remember. You'll have to ask my foot.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
What do you mean you don't remember I have this?
Why do you object to that question?
Speaker 8 (22:25):
Is Denny ad combarrassing to my clients and unprofitable to me?
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Thanks witness, Miss Arry Livingston takes a fair He's got
Laron Giders. I'm taking your sight?
Speaker 1 (22:39):
What do you want?
Speaker 8 (22:40):
Salas?
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Put you where to tell the truth?
Speaker 1 (22:43):
And nothing but the boose, nothing but the foot, nothing
but the frut, nothing but the truth, nothing.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
About the foot?
Speaker 3 (22:50):
How long did you know the dependent? Jack Finney?
Speaker 4 (22:52):
I adjit?
Speaker 5 (22:52):
Oh my d y.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Now tell me, young lady, what is your occupation?
Speaker 5 (22:57):
I got?
Speaker 8 (22:58):
This is the devil from Mary the Beason?
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Were you or were you enough with Jack Spenny at
the party this afternoon?
Speaker 2 (23:03):
I object?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
All right, off budub Jack, you don't remembers that's like
the precisely. Hey, wait a minute, Denny, didn't I want
sim jeu to San Quentin for grand blatone?
Speaker 8 (23:17):
Did that makes that fand je the something homan?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Jack?
Speaker 7 (23:20):
Think up the horn?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I get it wouldn't help you.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Goodbye, I'm a Benny.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Didn't you have to leave walking in Illinois in a
hurry in nineteen twelve five?
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Jet I wasn't judge, didn't.
Speaker 8 (23:32):
He a tend of party in Covers City last night
and with a pretty while of fan jack.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
I mean you got home that night he just tried
to open your don with a two horn upset.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Oh you do ay?
Speaker 2 (23:39):
And once you seem to the.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Party day last Monday night with a beautiful blind for Narry.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
Oh yeah, then I object order order order in the court.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
How the time we got left, judge, only about three
minutes of them anymore witnesses. Yeah, Johnny Green's orchestra for
fan boy order what were you boys doing? His ap
shoons between the hours of I'll never forget the first
(25:24):
bicycle I ever had. I was nine years old as
boy that I think that bike was surprise all night
and tiny and muse and painted in great pike letters
on it was the legend sneeze and feed. Well, that's
one thing bicycles and jello have in common. Jello is
one of the easiest and spedious.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
Desserts you can make.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
For instance, for a tip top winter time dessert side
Jel eight orange dessert.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Here's what you do.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
That's all oranges intersections combined with a cup of sugar
and let's stand for about
This is that famous year a lovely ladies get a
break and not a word at least here. Well, forgive me,
lady's not replied if I hand out sift to the back,
and that is look before your lease, boys looking for
the important matter of food.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
And if you can't make book distance, that make fies.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Justine George, he does know all about jello or a
gimmering rold of blowing yellow.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I saved many a mere. That's because yellow taste so good.
Who extract fruit flavor?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
We fruit flavor? Repecting and appetizing a freak that put
goodness is your right in if.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Your body the satisfied.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
But just remember you won't find it.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
In any other gelatin dessert.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
No other has demos like this extract flavor. There is
only one Jello and only yellow. They fight as good
as ever the bull fight, lad And I'm verly sorry enough,
(01:49):
but you turn the will be unable to fare on
my program, O angeliver. It's not attack of laryn gidis,
which has resulted in me fromplet balls of the voice.
But you will do with us again that Sunday night,
Oh Tenny, I.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Didn't see Johnny leading off of the WS. I don't
know John.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
I don't see Jack around either.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Well that's the fighting state of affairs.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Well, of what could have happened to them? I thought
I'm doing far about it now though, if they didn't
meet with an accident, he got him Hello, Oh hello Jacks,
where are you are you at a lot of it happen? Well,
God glory with them right over? Its man a don
like Jack and Johnny. Well, let's the proceeding. I'm not
(02:30):
gonna over telegraph pole.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
He isn't that offer?
Speaker 3 (02:33):
The other words?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
He lay a Condie Dale and think you can pick
up Jack? Betty please, okay, it's.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
My name.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
And MD and they fell of a six shut up
all right? They wasn't you in for buddy?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I'm just there?
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Oh, pardon the Wyn't you get to easier bread and water?
Speaker 4 (03:00):
What?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
No? Gellow Jan Dariel? Hey Johnny, where are you upper?
Speaker 5 (03:06):
Jevin?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Oh you didn't get a lower?
Speaker 5 (03:10):
Why your mother?
Speaker 6 (03:11):
All right?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
What did you think he's talking about?
Speaker 6 (03:14):
Quarter? Jio?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I see like a quarter and John Wilson's pocket. I'll
never get out.
Speaker 7 (03:21):
Just where this.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Here's the guy you walk that's gonna distant to Mike
as trapper.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Why Mary's sister. Hello, mate, what happened to Mary?
Speaker 4 (03:28):
He got lines out of Yeah, and she's sent me
over to see talking for you.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
What's happening?
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Well, we left Johnny's house driving to the studio and
we were only going seventy two miles an hour.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Then put you and put like that, they can't Where
do you think I am?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
In Bermuda?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Thought we had a flight accident and I ran into
a telegraph pole.
Speaker 8 (03:47):
And my previous gotchas you get after the lap?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yeah, yeah, where is Johnny? Dream in the next girl? Well, Johnny,
here's Mary's sister. You remember?
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Maybe? Oh? Sure?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Oh Maley, Johnny, you're half a mar You look any part.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
It reminds me of a popular song.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Well, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
It's round and mom.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Very many go to do something we're good at.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I don't want to say we're all low. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
I don't can know anybody.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Yeah, I'm one of the time.
Speaker 8 (04:20):
He's a very kind of money.
Speaker 6 (04:21):
He's got a lot of no time.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
It's the phone with one over in the corner there
with a boy and singing on us. Okay, yeah, I
hope you can leave something fish.
Speaker 9 (04:31):
Operator designifican ohne.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Yeah, it was nice of marriage and get it over.
Also enough this is many Yeah how long they have
to pay death?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
The great jolly.
Speaker 6 (04:46):
Who?
Speaker 4 (04:47):
People let me left to drive last time?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
No? No, yeah, yeah no, get to the point. Maybe
you're a great you know I'm your happy last to
you at five of mine. I'm not a boy.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Name.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I thought you were going to.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Hitch it for me about the.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
Way.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I thought it a much guy. There you're bak like
an old Oh yeah, yeah, I'm sorry to her you too.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
There's Johnny the next girl.
Speaker 7 (05:32):
There's Tunny me a joy er. You're telling people bunting
b r. I know the biggest fall people in town.
Where's it all?
Speaker 4 (05:38):
You?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Never mind? You just had that the yeah I heard
you go?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Do you a long time? You got your copy us
in adverts.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I happen to have the thanks job you can have
bad black.
Speaker 8 (05:51):
I happen to advert.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
You's gonna have LANDI if we said a marriage, I'm
just trying to yet a little time, very sep.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
I don't want to see jack stan a good agree.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Oh there they are and I'll make a oh. Hold on, John,
I'm glad you drooped over.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I don't think good dug, where are you right here
and fell sick. Well, don't forget the jubble well delicious flavors, Bob.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
And Jelly always even Jimmy, I get that, Oh John,
you can't get be something bars Burt Jack. I made
away with the duties and bought that from here.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
For the next Boston.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
That's fine.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Where's the Miza phone right here, we'll give it to
me sand by Kenny Well, hullo hoo.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
This is the dinner Hole program.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
And Kenny Baker allow thing a little loads of the
landstow from Anton picture loads of the ransom.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Ah my, oh.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
I s.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Yea, what that did?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Every single bird look to your parents time.
Speaker 6 (07:32):
I would be conce.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
What would I, sir? What would I send to call.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Hour I?
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Because you look.
Speaker 6 (07:58):
But I know love her?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
He would never sern how underful?
Speaker 6 (08:11):
Yall?
Speaker 4 (08:21):
What about lord ba.
Speaker 6 (08:42):
The y.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Let's go listen to the prisoner's applauding. But I was
a little rod with a lante done by Jenny Bakers
coming to you from the bill room of the Commy jail.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
That was very nice, Jenny, But you were behind two
bars of music that star to being behind the bars
like you.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Come on because it was your time.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
O your time is my well simulator?
Speaker 4 (09:31):
Jack?
Speaker 3 (09:32):
What you want to do?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
A blond don far time? Why hollout blong for Johnny
with an awful looking characters Tom Jay Lander. Okay, look
at that color fellow over there on the opposite sell. Yeah,
I wonder what he did?
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Then you called him me?
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Along him for I'm here on blue red words my home. Hey,
you must have done something?
Speaker 3 (10:01):
What are you in for?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
God? They gave me fifteen years to drawing money out
of our bank with our bank book they did.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Then they gave me.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Twenty years to stopping the man that tried to stop.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Me, no kidding. Then again it's seven years but thotal
reason without seeing clean.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
H brother got a home?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
No even thirty games lot but just being a little good. Oh, hey,
what's your name?
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Dan's new?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Dan's new? Dang heard on man like an I call
you're in a picture? Yeah, you gave me ten more
years for that. That's too bad.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
I store them go? Or sallwe which is the one stuck?
I was ever old?
Speaker 3 (10:54):
John?
Speaker 4 (10:54):
It is so bad.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
My father and mother will be one at six the top.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Top the moon? What's top of fo?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
You're a word on Tucker, But looking tellers, follow your PRIs.
I could sell you a story I've heard the other day.
They'll make a glad your living jailor knows this. Have
you got a minute, Yeah, well, listen to this. It's
one of the saddest stories you've ever heard.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
It's gonna make your blader liver. Listen. Once there were
three lobsters living up in me another.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
Lobster, a father lobster, and a baby lost eating, sleeping
and eating a healthy authors When one day the baby
lobster was caught and taken away from its part.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
For one years. They've given up books of ever seeing
the baby. And one game they were in Rhode Island.
They in some relative The father and mother lobster.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Were caught and slowly to the window of a seat in.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
The lowlands and head light in front of them. Because
bas this giant flock, the largest one of the entire
windows longs is not up to the vice. They recognize
him a new deal and get along. They have stuff,
but they got a bad to.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
John.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
The mother roster says John t how is it more
than twenty years? Begins? If he's not a pop water,
if you ain't and the funny, guys, I'll tell your
mom I'm the big rooster. But the lader always shows
a customer that the customer never gets.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Everything.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Isn't that bad?
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Johnny bird? God got the red star I've ever heard?
Speaker 7 (12:40):
Yeah, get something to blink, you camp him and do
whatever you're clean m a p mainly begin again.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
You get up the world something.
Speaker 6 (12:49):
Yeah, I'm.
Speaker 9 (12:51):
Start he give he is Yeah, they yeah, I had
anybody I haven't say, go and get up. You've been
jack n says kind of shy Arry we annybody see
a bunch of three brown if you got these people, Lason, Jack,
I've got.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
A day of the good thing to the fund lady.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Or how you get a board? If you don't high
pre adam, you're getting up the vile oh ideal?
Speaker 7 (13:18):
Are you guys hearing there?
Speaker 6 (13:22):
Jack?
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, the high up it is one n.
Speaker 9 (13:25):
The getting gel about me.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
They weren't even were the paring of the young the
hey boy, he's young.
Speaker 6 (14:02):
Usin everything anything do anything of them?
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Int Hey, you what's the idea of saying goes far?
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Oh, pardon me, I'm just filling a little time that stall.
You know, there's really nothing to do around here. If
I cause any damage, I'll be I'll be glad to
pay for it.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Oh you're so where did you get that star? I
gave it to him.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I belonged to a sign.
Speaker 8 (15:29):
Has a thrower.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Because mister ben here, yeah, here he is and still
number six.
Speaker 8 (15:37):
Well the.
Speaker 7 (15:44):
People get from a thing gang game.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Yeah, but I didn't know you were a lawyer.
Speaker 8 (15:48):
Well, here's my time, signore you I am.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Nah?
Speaker 8 (15:59):
They didn't he bunny, he bring a whole to persons.
Speaker 6 (16:08):
What did you do?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Well?
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I was driving my car, am I?
Speaker 3 (16:11):
You didn't good? I?
Speaker 4 (16:12):
Yes, you give me a free business? Said maybe?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Will you free go home? Why did I run the
two digs? Well, I was driving seventy two miles an
hour and run into a telegraph pole.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
You're going fifteen miles an hour and running draft sixty?
I remember about a day.
Speaker 8 (16:29):
Why do you know I got three much of a
coming from Potasha? N if the dinner is good? Last
to twenty Christmas?
Speaker 3 (16:36):
That for instance, the Lion, the night of LIPI throw
seven couple of fight.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Well, I don't remember, that's it.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
But the whore, He asked the question about the accident.
You don't remember, listen, I was writing.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Seventy three huns an hour, and I'm not down a
pole n to hit you n't driving in the PA bound. Yeah,
the w a t different when they give up.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I hit this couplet there.
Speaker 7 (16:57):
And by extra well, grand hy, I get out of this.
I get wring my last to a son of a
pussing sky fron of my hydrants, and I got him
over attend.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Do me a favor. We're gonna go over there and
defend Johnny Green? Where is it right there on the
next sel? Oh, we're gonna Green, I'm presuming.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Yeah, No, what didn't you do?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
I don't remember life.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
You let me you're having a camp or not? I
should to have an answer.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Yeah, I got out of my lang n.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
It's to day.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
I let it cook to the gent in.
Speaker 8 (17:26):
The way of the woman. Couldn't time your birse three
dollars a people.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Close to kick, Well, what you're waiting for?
Speaker 8 (17:31):
He's the way he's gonna make a super five and nothing.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I'll pay him a six dollars to get about it,
or me do the raying croup.
Speaker 7 (17:41):
And sometimes I go there for three months away by
the case like this, of course, you know, I got
to get.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
My usual withinner what do you get on dollars?
Speaker 4 (17:53):
You know?
Speaker 3 (17:53):
I first, yank, I do.
Speaker 6 (17:57):
All?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
I got a five dollars?
Speaker 3 (17:58):
All right, I don't see you for the bone.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Well what can I get you? If I want to
right here, I'm coming you.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Too, you know?
Speaker 7 (18:08):
If you very here about annything love there there's a.
Speaker 8 (18:11):
Purna ban I've been the medic off I'm very prime thing.
Then I give an offense of clients. Let me do
the world.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
He be my bunn.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
That was music goes round and round with Johnny Green
as the fiance. And now we take the microphones to
the courtroom for the file of Jack Penny and Johnny Green.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Order and mccaya.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Where do I know you from?
Speaker 3 (20:24):
How do you mean here in a courtroom?
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Sit down here with me?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Well, I'll call the case from Jack Benny and Johnny
Green versus the telegraph pools as does go attorney here,
Miss Benny, but money.
Speaker 8 (20:41):
Here an I supposes the curp house to down.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
It seems for the person.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Jack Penny and the firstan Johnny Green, we're driving seventy
two miles an hour and ran into a defenseless telegraph pool.
Turney for the pole here crazy, Then I will call
the first witness.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
I'n Wilson.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
That sounds for me.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Yeah, well your wis I am a Serusan for Jello
and we're just selling jealous and desert in the world.
Are you acquainted with the defendant? Yes, you're honored. What
kind of fellow is Jack Benney? Well, Dad don't know
us how to describe him. But if you ever see
two men sitting in the cafe and one of them
reaches for the text, the other one is Jack Benny.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
That sounds like when I'm married Joe.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Yes, order in the course.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Where's Johnny Green? I don't blame him, that's all, mister Wilson.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
I'll not pull the defendant.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Mister Benny e pen, thank you. A funny thing happened
to me on the way to the studio. You want
to tell the truth?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Holdop, nothing but so hold you.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
I have bit objected over the rules.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
You where to tell the truth?
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Nothing but the truth will help you.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I don't remember, is that right?
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Liar?
Speaker 8 (22:12):
The surface?
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Were you or were you not? Stepping on the gas
at the rate of seventy two miles an hour?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
I don't remember. You'll have to ask my foot.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
What do you mean you don't remember I have this?
Why do you object to that question?
Speaker 8 (22:25):
Is Denny ad combarrassing to my clients and unprofitable to me?
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Thanks witness, Miss Arry Livingston takes a fair He's got
Laron Giders. I'm taking your sight?
Speaker 1 (22:39):
What do you want?
Speaker 8 (22:40):
Salas?
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Put you where to tell the truth?
Speaker 1 (22:43):
And nothing but the boose, nothing but the foot, nothing
but the frut, nothing but the truth, nothing.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
About the foot?
Speaker 3 (22:50):
How long did you know the dependent? Jack Finney?
Speaker 4 (22:52):
I adjit?
Speaker 5 (22:52):
Oh my d y.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Now tell me, young lady, what is your occupation?
Speaker 5 (22:57):
I got?
Speaker 8 (22:58):
This is the devil from Mary the Beason?
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Were you or were you enough with Jack Spenny at
the party this afternoon?
Speaker 2 (23:03):
I object?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
All right, off budub Jack, you don't remembers that's like
the precisely. Hey, wait a minute, Denny, didn't I want
sim jeu to San Quentin for grand blatone?
Speaker 8 (23:17):
Did that makes that fand je the something homan?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Jack?
Speaker 7 (23:20):
Think up the horn?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I get it wouldn't help you.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Goodbye, I'm a Benny.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Didn't you have to leave walking in Illinois in a
hurry in nineteen twelve five?
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Jet I wasn't judge, didn't.
Speaker 8 (23:32):
He a tend of party in Covers City last night
and with a pretty while of fan jack.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
I mean you got home that night he just tried
to open your don with a two horn upset.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Oh you do ay?
Speaker 2 (23:39):
And once you seem to the.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Party day last Monday night with a beautiful blind for Narry.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
Oh yeah, then I object order order order in the court.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
How the time we got left, judge, only about three
minutes of them anymore witnesses. Yeah, Johnny Green's orchestra for
fan boy order what were you boys doing? His ap
shoons between the hours of I'll never forget the first
(25:24):
bicycle I ever had. I was nine years old as
boy that I think that bike was surprise all night
and tiny and muse and painted in great pike letters
on it was the legend sneeze and feed. Well, that's
one thing bicycles and jello have in common. Jello is
one of the easiest and spedious.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
Desserts you can make.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
For instance, for a tip top winter time dessert side
Jel eight orange dessert.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Here's what you do.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
That's all oranges intersections combined with a cup of sugar
and let's stand for about
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