Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Darke Benny Program presented by Lucky Strike.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
No hated aaty no American.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
In a cigarette, it is the tobacco that counts, and
year in, year out, ls MFT Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. Remember,
ls MFT Lucky Strike means fine tobacco, and fine tobacco
is what counts in the cigarette season after season, that
market after market. Independent tobacco experts men who are right
on the spot at the auctions can see the makers
(00:29):
of Lucky Strike consistently select and buy that fine, that light,
that naturally mild tobacco, fine light, naturally mild tobacco, real
Lucky Strike tobacco, fine tobacco that means real, deep down
smoking enjoyment for you.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
So smoke that.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Smoke of fine tobacco Lucky Strike, so round, so firm,
so fully fackt so.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Free and easy on the draw American. The Lucky Strack
Program starring Jack Belly with Mary.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
Levingston, Tell Harris Rochester, dnnis day and yours totally Don Wilson,
And now ladies and gentlemen, we bring you.
Speaker 5 (01:25):
Wait a minute, Wait a minute, dantee, hold it, hold it.
Jackson ain't here. Yes, what neither is Dennis or Levy.
Oh my goodness, this is awful. What do you mean awful?
The audience is going to get a break today. I've
been waiting for a chance like this for months.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Hit it boy one, so school.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
Gerald, Mammy, prawl and Ammy. And that's what I like
about down there. You can't make no sainty where those are?
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Rochester? Rochester? Yes, Stamna. Will you can't you make this
car goingy past horses? You ever have the story of
the hair and the Tortoise? Yes, well, both of them
just past us. What tough luck. Imagine going out to
the garage and finding a flat tire, not a bit
(02:15):
of air in it. There was a new one too,
It had to be the new one. Huh. The other
three are filled with sand? Oh yes, I forgot Rochester.
Why have you got the wind shear wipers going? We
have no windshields. I know where the tiez of steam
from the radiator out of my face? Oh, Saint boss,
(02:38):
I think we're making better time. I just caught up
with the rabbit of past us Rochester. Don't be silly.
There are no rabbits on Sunset Boulevard.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
What what do you know?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
I guess the warm weather brought them out. Gosh, it
isn't bad enough. I'm late. Mary and Dennis are waiting
for us to pick him up. Pass You should be
on the air right now, I know, I know. Turn
on the radio and see what they're doing.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
Okay, it comes old Mob with all the news to
watch back, holding a bunch of shoes and all Tatum
with his.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Union tubes and off or turn it off. That song
is enough to make a Yankee out of Senator clag Born.
(03:37):
Pull over the corner, Roger. This where we're supposed to
pick up Dennis. Now. Oh there's Dennis. Now, Oh, mister
Benny or hop and Dennis. We're late.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
I know.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I was home listening to the radio and filled with singing.
That's what I like about the South, I know. I know.
Speaker 6 (03:57):
My mother said she wished a little bit of heaven
would fall form I'm off a sky and hit him
right on the head. So for once in my life,
I agree with your mother.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
She hates you too. All right, all right, come on, Rochester,
let's go. Yeah, yeah, ho, Mary, hop in.
Speaker 7 (04:24):
Jack.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
We've never been this late before.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
What happened, Well, we were all ready to go to
the studio. When we got to the garage we found
a flat tire. I really should have called for a
TAXI called for a taxi.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
You wouldn't call for help if I had a meter
on its.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
First place. You read that Ryan wrong.
Speaker 6 (04:42):
I know.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
First of me, you wouldn't call for help if it
had a meter. I was even afraid of that today
this morning. What are you talking. I've taken you home
from the studio and a cab many times.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Stop Bragg. You know we saw seventy five cents.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Seventy five cents the other night when I took you
home across me three dollars and a half.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Well, it was your idea to go up on mohalland Drive.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Don't let it go to your head, sister. I only
took you up there to show you how beautiful a
city looks with the lights on.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I know when the fog rolled in, you wanted your
money back, money.
Speaker 6 (05:21):
Back, money back, stopped making things up. I went up
to mohalland Drive three nights in a row with my girl,
and oh boy, did we have fun?
Speaker 8 (05:31):
Why?
Speaker 9 (05:31):
What what did you do?
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Did?
Speaker 6 (05:33):
We went around picking into new studebakers Dannas, one of
them had eighteen hundred miles on it. That must have
(05:57):
been a thrilling evening you had.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Hey, Jack, we're so late. Do you think John can
hold the audience till we get there?
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Real is entertaining him? I wonder what he's doing now, Rochester,
turn on the radio.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
Don't listen to your boys, Harris flaxenon most your tie
and stock relaxing when.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Harris is there? Who needs Jackson? Because I'm what you
like about the sound? Who needs Jackson?
Speaker 10 (06:19):
What a.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Rochester? You can park any place now? There's a studio
off ahead.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Yes, why don't you send fifteen cents.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
And put the car in the parking lot because the
streets belong to the people, and I'm a people. Rochester.
What's the matter with you? You just passed a good
parking place over there? No, but that's all all right, boss.
This car on it turns left? Oh yes, I forgot
the steering rod's broken.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Well, this car won't turn to the right. How are
we going to get back to Beverly Hills?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
I got all mapped out, MS Libston.
Speaker 11 (06:51):
We go straight to Pasadena, left to take a steals
north and.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Down the coast and hole. Oh, we'll get home all right.
Once we get the car face circle, we can head
in any direction. Now, keep your eyes open for a place, Dennis,
we're not on a parade. Stop sitting on top of
the sea and take that sign off your bag. I
(07:17):
want it there.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
You don't need it.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Everybody knows you've got two shouls. I'll sit down on it.
Whoop woop, there's a whoop woop whooo.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Can buy rosa?
Speaker 1 (07:27):
There's a place to park right across the street.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
Can't do it.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
I have to make a U turn.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
But what's wrong with making a U turn? There's a
two dollars double shut. There's a two dollars for that? Boy? Oh,
(08:09):
I asked, is one rehearsal? That's all though ahead. Nobody's lucky.
I'll grab hold of your door, Mary, so won't fly open.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
The door's on your side.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Oh yeah, yeah, Well here we are. Oh is that
a policeman?
Speaker 6 (08:30):
It ain't.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
The cop All right, chuck them oder off.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Jack? Oh, I'll think of something. You the idea of
making a huge turn in the middle of the block, dang,
I said, what's the idea of making a huge turn
in the middle of the block. Don't you know it's
against the lawn. I'll tell you off, Sir. I don't
get the city very often, so I don't don't know
much about your new fang laws. You got here. What
(09:05):
a performance? Every be quiet, you see, Officer. I live
out Sherman Oaks Way and I just drove mold lady,
I'm a boy and see the big city the tuti
Ain't that right for ramby guy and testing today? Thank
goodness we have no wind heils, officer. This is a mission.
Speaker 9 (09:25):
Glad to know you, ma'am. Now local time. You got
to obey the plastic laws while you're in the city. Well,
i'll tell you get your gun for that man's for
revenue wheel officer.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Guess we're mode heel long. Thanks very much for your advice.
All right, old Simon, but don't let this happen again.
I won't for a long, officer. Come on more, and
as we let's take a look at this radio station.
See what those program these are like? And zeke you
sit here and wait for it. Z see ool me. Yes,
you come on, Mary, the CoP's going Now let's get
(10:05):
into the studio. Then let's hurry up right behind you,
Pip toy. Then if you're not a roof anymore. Put
your shoes back on. Fifteen years on the radio, and
it's the first time I've ever been late. Thank goodness.
We got here anyway.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
She's got big things in Candy dam So shooting Sudnyeah.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
All right, Bill, all right, I'm here. I here like still,
I'm here. You can stop. What do you mean stop? Jackson,
I'm just getting warmed up warms. I've e been singing
that thing for twenty minutes. I've been listening to you
on the radio. You've been listening to me certainly. Well,
bless your little gray heart. All right, Phil, you had
your big day. And I'll go sit down, Jack. What happened?
(10:49):
I'll come here so late. Oh it's a long story,
don I had a flat tire and then I got
tied up in traffic and Rochester didn't know what he
was talking about. And right out here in front of
the studio, well he was nervous. You know, a cop coming.
You can blame him. Then, right out here in front
(11:12):
of the studio, cop try to give me a ticket.
I told him I was Jack. Then he changed his
mind fast, didn't he marry?
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Now, look kids, the show is so mixed up. Will
have to start somewhere, So Dennis, maybe you will wait
a minute, Phil, Phil, what's the matter? What are you
your excuse the expression? Musicians dressed like that for him?
Speaker 8 (11:37):
All that?
Speaker 5 (11:38):
Well, the photographer's coming over to take some publicity shots.
And I told the boys that if they look glamorous,
they might get their pictures in that squire.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Look, Phil, your boys will never get their pictures in
that squire. So you can tell Frankie to put down
that white telephone and take off that low cut sweatshirt
and tell him to cover up that tattoo on his chest.
Are you kidding?
Speaker 5 (11:59):
He gets for that, I know, but it's such a
ridiculous tattoo.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
This is a year of the year, lady. What a slogan?
Speaker 4 (12:08):
The year of the year?
Speaker 8 (12:09):
Lad?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
What about the slogan they had for your picture marriage?
Speaker 1 (12:12):
This is the week of the weekling shows, I'm a
cuneo didn't even run a week.
Speaker 6 (12:18):
Now.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Look here before we shot our plate for the night,
I think, Dennis, what's that?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Yeah, she's a man in the third row with a gun.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
They missed her. What's the idea? Or I'm sorry I
tried to shoot myself but I missed. Well, what's wrong?
I'm a dentist and my patient it's driving me crazy.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Your patience her name is no apprentice and she won't.
Speaker 9 (12:41):
Open her mouth.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
He must be crazy. A few minutes ago he was
a rabbit thing, Dennis.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Holly lock home?
Speaker 9 (13:14):
Is that.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Still leaving?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Got it still run down to Johnny cole.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
O Skilly day?
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Still call me anything.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Day ay in lock home?
Speaker 5 (13:41):
Is that wi.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Still weeping?
Speaker 8 (13:45):
There?
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Does that lappy with the swingsmen on.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Siley walk away?
Speaker 1 (14:00):
I don't dreaming.
Speaker 10 (14:05):
Nothing?
Speaker 1 (14:06):
See oh I at cleaving all.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
Away?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
And he clap and.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
Hing in.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
That why I would power things from Block a Moor
sung by Dennis and Dennis. That was a cute little
Irish number, that excute as the one I took up
on mohalland drive.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Has you got a friend, Yes, but you wouldn't like him.
And now ladies and gentlemen for our feature come in.
He find the inclusion. Mister Bennet, But could you do
me please have femail? Oh? I certainly certainly, mister kiss
though Hello, what is it? Well?
Speaker 7 (15:44):
I've got pretty kits to our radio program here at
the NBC, and I've.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Done your watch studio.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
It's you.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Oh, well, what program is it? Edgar Burstein? Oh, Edgar Bergen,
Edgar Bah. He's in studio A right across the hall.
Oh didn't you. You're welcome. I know you like Edgar show.
That Charlie McCarthy is really funny. Yeah, I see you
look so natural to almost like a human being. That's right.
There's many people mistake Charlie for a little boy.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Yes, I know.
Speaker 7 (16:13):
Once when I was by his broadcast, I went up
to him and.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
I said, please, mister McCarthy, would I hear you or grap?
I'll bet you felt silly? Who felt chilly? He gave
it to me.
Speaker 7 (16:29):
Oh, but you know it's certainly a comical that Charlie
McCarthy as soon as the other little gotmy Modemochwartz.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
That's nerd. Oh, I went, mister Kettle, I meant to
thank you for the birthday targues that he was very
thoughtful and expressed that's nice sentiment. Yes, and I wrote
that for myself.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Well was the tom mister Kessel, Well it.
Speaker 7 (16:50):
Went like this to mister Bernie today, I hear your
threety eight, but I know you're fifty three.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
But if you're liking threety eight. That's okay by me.
While I was a buried it was a very cute thought,
mister Kittl. In case you happened to pass my house
during the next few days, drop in. I'll mix you
a martini. I'm Marchini. Oh you like Martini? No, well, anyway,
(17:21):
mister kids, if you're around when I leave, I'll drive
you home. Will thank you, but don't botther. Mister Bennie.
You see, I got my own car and your studio
bakehut you have. It's got exactly eighteen onered miles on it.
Eighteen Hunters dinners. That must have been the car you
peek into. Oh good bye, mister Bennie. So long, mister
(17:49):
kits Old, No kings, you can luck you moving. He's
a nice little guy. I'm sorry I for I got
to invite him to my birthday party.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Oh that reminds me, Jack, it's been a whole week
now and you never thanked me for the birthday present
I sent you.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Oh I'm sorry, Mary, thanks very much. It was a
wonderful gift. I really appreciated it. What'd you give him?
Levy a check for ten dollars well married it was.
It wasn't the sentiment. It was the money. I mean,
it wasn't the money. It was a check. I mean
the centemon. Now, come on, kids, we have a check
a sketch to do, Ladies and gentlemen, tonight.
Speaker 10 (18:28):
Jack, before you start the sketch, don't you think we
ought to do a commercial?
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Jefellow? Oh yeah, one man read a line right A
thirteen years he's doing.
Speaker 10 (18:54):
What are you gonna say, Don, Well, I say, before
you start the sketch, don't you think we ought to
do it?
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Commercials? A commercial? Will want to start me in the
original idea? Yes, Don, by all meals it means let's
be doing let's see Jarry and do a commercial. Okay, Jack, wartet, Freddy?
What the quartet?
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Now?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Wait a minute, Don wait a minute, No quartet and
no more singing. That's final, Chu. Look Don Since we
opened our season twenty two weeks ago, the Sportsman Quartet
has been driving me nuts. It isn't bad enough what
they do to me in the studio, But two weeks
ago you brought them right out on the street, right
out on the corner, in front of NBC, in front
of a crowd of people. And embarrassed me. Something ru
(19:42):
Imagine them singing a commercial and people throwing money. Kenny,
how much was it? Jack? Four dollars and sixty seven?
I'm smart, Alex, who is slock? So don let's not
talk about it anymore. The quartet is through. They'll never
say for me again. Jack.
Speaker 10 (20:01):
I know I've asked you many times to give these
boys one more chance, and I'm going to ask you again,
but just this one done. Look, and if you don't
like it this time, you can fire them, and I
give you my word of honor. I'll not interfere.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Well, all right down, If you really mean what you said,
it's a deal. I'll give these boys one more chance. Remember, fellows,
this is your last chance. Is that clear? All right down? Okay?
Speaker 10 (20:24):
The number of humor ass take it, boys, and remember
your job depends on it.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Go ahead, sm fine.
Speaker 8 (20:40):
Uslsmm you wish to.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Sell, that's all round? Good, very good, Joe, you and
(21:10):
give me a piece of fight. Look, that is what
I want, That is what I want to pry. There
was nothing. Why wait a minute, wait a minute.
Speaker 4 (21:25):
Problem you know, so we say.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait Why all right, fellas,
I've had enough, that was it. You had your chance.
You're through making a flu out of it. You're fire soon.
(21:49):
I'll get out out well, last time true with them?
And John, don't you open your mouth and you go
with them? And now, ladies and gentlemen, Yes.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Why he asked me, I think you're making a big mistake.
Find your quartet.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
I didn't ask you. And now Levy's right, Jackson, Levy's right, Judtion.
You should never have fired those guys. Huh, they're harmony.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
It's great.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Still when you're talking about pools, I'll take your word.
When we're talking about bourbon, I'll bow to your superior judgment.
Even when we're if we're talking about new hair dudes,
I'll acquiesce.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Well.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
When it comes to music and harmony, I'd rather take
the word of Lassie's other pop. And now, ladies and gentlemen, right,
you bet, I'm right. I'm glad you're on my side, Dennie.
You other side wouldn't have me and the quartet have
(22:56):
fired in that settler. Now let's get on with the play.
And now, ladies in Jaffin feature of Cracker for night, Oh,
now what come in? How do you do for I'm
the photographer from Downbeat magazine. I'm here to take pictures
of Phil Harris.
Speaker 9 (23:10):
Is bad?
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Wait a minute, So we're trying to do a program.
Why are you taking pictures of Harris's orchestra.
Speaker 8 (23:14):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (23:15):
They just won a popularity contest. It was conducted by
our magazines a content. Yes, we stop ten people on
the street and asked them who their favorite band was.
Uh huh, and all eleven voted for Phil Harris. You
stopped ten people and eleven of them voted for Phil.
One of them had two heads that I can believe.
Speaker 5 (23:35):
Hey, wait a minute, top, Wait a minute, wait posting
for just anybody? Are you a good photographer?
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Who I'm one of the best in the business. I
have some pictures here that I've taken of my children. Here,
look at them. Look we haven't time.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Oh Jack Lugacy's checktures. I thank you.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
How is this little boy that's Irving? He's seven? And
this little fellow is Julius, he's five. Well how about
this cute little girl, the smallest one on the end.
That my wife, she's a midges. I'm terribly sorry. I
didn't mean to be rude. That is Oh, that's all right,
quite frequently I get my wife mixed up with the children.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Really, yes, only this morning I fed her a bowl
of pabulum, threw over my shoulder and burp her.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Oh I didn't realize she was my wife. Tiller teeth
dropped on the floor, her key. Hey, what about taking
the pictures? My boys are getting nervous.
Speaker 10 (24:29):
All right, everybody smile, Now watch the birdie one, two, three, three?
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Got it good. But now, if you don't mind, we'll
get on with our show.
Speaker 5 (24:37):
Just a minute before I leave, would you mind if
I took a picture of your quartet?
Speaker 1 (24:41):
My quartet, why just to keep for myself. I think
they're wonderful. Oh, you're doing well. If you want a
picture of my quartet, you can go outside and look
for them. I guess fired them.
Speaker 6 (24:52):
You fired them?
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Yes, you fool you w you mean old man. I
am not a mean old man, and get out. Nobody's
gonna come in here and tell me how to run
my business. Wait a minute, Mary, I'll wait a minute.
(25:13):
I've got something to say to you and everybody in
the company, and you might as well hear it. I've
been on the radio for fifteen years. I've always had
my own show I've always run my own show, and
I'm gonna keep on running. And you don Dennis or
Phil or nobody else in the world's gonna tell me
what they're doing. Well, that's fine. Any questions. Why do
(25:34):
you wear those thick glasses? But they don't cost any
more than a thin one. Now, let's get on with
the show. Ladies and gentlemen. Oh down at the phone,
Mary answered, please okay.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Hello, yes, yes, sir, he's right here.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Always are married Jack.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
It's mister Vincent Riggio, president of the American Tobacco Company.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Oh, oh, my strong story. Hello Vince Vincent. Oh mister Riggio.
Well what uh what can I do for you? Miss Riggio?
You've been listening to the show? Wasn't it great?
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Now?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
I shouldn't have won, but I had a fire him.
That quartet was the worst. You you don't think so? Well,
everybody's in title of his own opinion. I mean, that's
why they put rubber mats around custodors. Well, I guess
(26:47):
you're right. It didn't gonna laugh here either. But about
a quartet, mister rig I felt that.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
I know, but.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
But mister Riggio, I know, but yes, but you might
be right.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
But but but but.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I know, but.
Speaker 10 (27:22):
But but.
Speaker 9 (27:38):
But but but.
Speaker 8 (27:58):
But discacco auctioneer. Remember LS mft el Pfessor.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
My mama hated eight any menu, not on any menu, No,
my mama, Maragan.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Lucky Strike means fine tobacco, and fine tobacco is what counts.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
In a cigarette.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Listen to the words of a man who's been an
independent tobacco auctioneer for twenty one years, mister Dewey H.
Haffeen of Reidsville, North Carolina. Mister Haffeen really knows tobacco.
And here's what he said. And thousands of tobacco auctions.
Speaker 11 (28:34):
I've seen the makers of Lucky Strike by my ripe
mellow tobacco, the taste good and smokes good. I've smoked
Lucky myself for twenty nine years. Quote at thousands of
tobacco auctions.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
I have seen the makers of Lucky Strike by mild
ripe mellow tobacco unquote. Remember, independent tobacco experts like mister
Haffen can see the makers of Lucky Strike consistently select
and buy that fine, that light, that naturally.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Mile tobacco, fine light, naturally mild tobacco.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
Yes, first last always LS mft, Lucky strike means fine
tobacco ls MFT, no doubt about it. Lucky strike means
fine tobacco, and fine tobacco means real, deep down smoking
enjoyment for you. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco,
Lucky Strike, so round, so firm, so fully backed, so
(29:24):
free and easy on the draw.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
But but, but, mister Riggio, well all right, if you
want to fork out,