July 31, 2025 • 27 mins
A legendary variety show blending witty monologues, comic sketches, and musical interludes, all anchored by the impeccable timing of its beloved host. It’s a masterclass in comedic timing.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Encoded by n MP three.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Thee Coming to You from the Presidio in San Francisco,
starring Jack Benny, but Barry Livingston, Phil Harris, Tennessee, Rochester,
and Yours truly.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Don Wilks.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
The Orchestrope is a program with the case sounds.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Go rolling along.
Speaker 5 (00:35):
Never in all the forty years or more that folks
have been buying jello, has Jello tasted more delicious and
the reason Jello's wonderful new locked in flavor. By means
of an exclusive Jello process, Jello's swell, tempting flavor is
locked in to give you extra goodness, new delight, richer enjoyment.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
For Jello today is.
Speaker 5 (00:53):
Better than ever, now that its tangy, tantalizing flavor is
locked right into the tiny Jello particles. Jello offers you
new high in pleasure.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
More than ever.
Speaker 5 (01:02):
It's intriguing goodness brings to mind the grand, refreshing flavor
of the juicy.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Ripe fruit itself.
Speaker 5 (01:07):
More than ever, Jello gives you real desert delight, and
all because of this new Jello process that locks in
the magic of Jello's glorious flavor. You can prove for
yourself that this delicious jello flavor actually is locked in.
Open a package of jello. Notice there is no sweet
fruity odor. No tell Taylor Roma to worn of escaping flavor.
And then dissolve the jello, and notice how its marvelous,
(01:30):
captive goodness comes pouring out in a rich gush of
fragrance and flavor. So ask your grosser tomorrow for several
packages of jello and discover for yourself how much better
and richer jello is now that its famous flavor.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Is locked in.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
That was the Caissons Girl rolling along, played by the orchestra.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Now, ladies and gentlemen, him.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
As much as we are broadcasting from the US Army
Post at the Presidio in San Francisco, and this being
the birthday of George Washington, it is only fitting that
we bring you a man who fought heroically for that
great General at bally Forde.
Speaker 6 (02:40):
Jack Benny, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 7 (02:51):
Jelo again, this is a Jack Bunny talking and Don
that was the most ridiculous introduction I ever heard, imagine saying,
and I fought at bally Forde.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Why it's absurd, But Jack, you've told me to mention
your war records.
Speaker 7 (03:03):
I meant the World War, the Battle of Valley Port
took place over one hundred and sixty years ago.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
My goodness, that would make me older than Fred Allen.
Speaker 6 (03:14):
Much.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Now wait a minute, Jack, Fred Allen is younger than
you are.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
And you know it.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
What did you say, big boy? What did you say?
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I said, Fred Allen is younger than you are.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
That's a military secret.
Speaker 8 (03:28):
And I'm going to tell the.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Colonel on you you heard him, fellas Alan younger than me.
Speaker 6 (03:35):
I like to have.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Muscles as hard as his arteries. From anyway, Don, it's
nice being up here in Frisco. As they don't.
Speaker 8 (03:47):
Say, by as Jack, it certainly is.
Speaker 7 (03:51):
And by the way, Don, as long as I'm paying
everybody's expenses on this trip, may.
Speaker 9 (03:56):
I inquire where you're stopping?
Speaker 10 (03:58):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:59):
The little woman and I I have a lovely sweep.
It's the Fairmount Hotel.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
A suite. Eh, that's that's several rooms, isn't it. Yes,
you see, Jack, I'm.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
A pretty big man.
Speaker 8 (04:10):
And when I take my belt off at.
Speaker 6 (04:12):
Night, I spread out.
Speaker 8 (04:16):
I don't care if you overflow.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Like a volcano.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Get into one room.
Speaker 9 (04:22):
You don't need a sweep.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
But Jack, Tay and I have a lot of friends
here in town, and we wanted a place where we
could serve.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Tea in the afternoon.
Speaker 7 (04:28):
Ohta, But from now on, brother, your friends can lift
their liptons in the lobby.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Get into one room. All I say is what's good
enough for me is good enough for my cat? Perhaps
you're right by the way, Jack, Where are you stopping shomy?
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Oh, Dennis and I have.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
A beautiful room at the Ocean Spray Auto car.
Speaker 7 (04:52):
Over at in Alameda. It's a lovely place. It's run
by a retired harry boat captain, where in fact that's
what it is, an old ferry boat. We're living in
what was formerly the Poop Eggs. Of course it's been redecorated.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
You know, Well that sounds quite novel. Have you a
private bath?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
What is that done? I said, have you a private bath? Well,
there's a bolt on the door. If that's what you need,
you must come over sometime down.
Speaker 6 (05:34):
The Ocean Spray Auto Court.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Is that right on the ocean front?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
And no, it's not exactly on the ocean. It's very
nice though. Well can you see the ocean? No, you
can't actually see it. Done, But when the west wind
is blowing over those mudflats. You just know it's.
Speaker 8 (05:50):
There, and if the breeze is well, if it isn't.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Miss Livingston say hello to the soldiers.
Speaker 9 (05:59):
Mary.
Speaker 11 (06:00):
Aye, boys, let's take some noise.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
You asked for it and you got it.
Speaker 8 (06:12):
I can't understand it.
Speaker 7 (06:13):
Mary, but every time we entertain the soldiers, you get
a much bigger reception.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Than I do.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Why is that?
Speaker 11 (06:18):
I guess my legs are prettier than yours, hot hitty.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Oh, I don't know about that, young lady.
Speaker 11 (06:25):
Now I'll leave it to ever roll down your pants.
Who cares.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Well you started?
Speaker 7 (06:31):
By the way, Mary, as long as you're here, I
want to settle something right now in front of Don.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Wilson and all the fellows here. Who is older, Fred,
Allen or me?
Speaker 11 (06:38):
I don't see any insurance man chasing either one of you.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
I can still get fire and thefts.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Smarty and anyhow, just because I have a few gray
hairs doesn't mean I'm an old Dodo.
Speaker 11 (06:53):
Doesn't mean you're cutting teeth either.
Speaker 10 (06:57):
Oh.
Speaker 7 (06:57):
I'm glad you mentioned that, Mary, because it so happened.
And I have a brand new tooth coming in.
Speaker 11 (07:02):
So there, where's it coming in?
Speaker 1 (07:04):
From?
Speaker 11 (07:04):
Sears?
Speaker 10 (07:04):
And Rowbucks.
Speaker 7 (07:09):
They are not coming in from tears and Rollbucks.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
They don't even handle them.
Speaker 11 (07:12):
Oh you checked John today.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Let me tell you something else.
Speaker 7 (07:16):
The next one that mentions Fred Allen has to pay
his own expenses in San Francisco.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
By the way, Mary, where are you stopping?
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Oh?
Speaker 11 (07:22):
I have a lovely suite at this Sir Francis Drake.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
That's a Mary.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
You could very well have taken one room instead of two.
Speaker 11 (07:29):
I've got three.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
What do you need three rooms for?
Speaker 11 (07:34):
Well, I've got a lot of friends in town, and
I have to have a place where I can serve
tea in the afternoon.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
T t everybody giving tea parties.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Funny thing. I'm never invited.
Speaker 7 (07:43):
Jack, How can we reach you?
Speaker 11 (07:44):
Yeah, you haven't even got a telephone on that broken
down serry boat.
Speaker 9 (07:47):
You could wigwag, sister, you could wigwag.
Speaker 11 (07:58):
You got the wig? How could we wag it?
Speaker 6 (08:04):
I mean with flag?
Speaker 1 (08:05):
You may laugh at the ocean prey autocord, Mary, But
it's lovely.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
There isn't a Dennis. I said, it's lovely. There isn't
adnnas Do.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
You mind if I take a bow first? Mister Binny?
Speaker 7 (08:14):
No, No, go right ahead, Yes, lovely there. What oh, oh,
you mean the autoport?
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Yes, yes it is? What a kid?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Well, Dennis, this is your first tip of San francisc
Isn't I suppose you've been sight seeing and everything.
Speaker 10 (08:35):
I'll say, I went to see a Rocks in Chinatown
and swim Peaks and Chinatown and fly Shaka Zoo and
Chinatown and what.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
Do you keep going back to Chinatown for us? I
left my hat there someplace.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Oh well, I hope you find it me too, am
I sick of chop? Suey?
Speaker 8 (09:00):
Dennis, you don't have to eat every time you go there.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
What else did you do?
Speaker 11 (09:04):
Dennis?
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Well, now let's see.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Oh yes, last night I went over to Treasure Island
to see the World's Fair. The World's Fair. Save your money, brother,
It ain't much.
Speaker 8 (09:30):
Dennis, Dennis, there isn't any World's Fair.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
It's been closed for two years.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Gee, I could swear I saw a fan dancer.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
A fan dancer.
Speaker 7 (09:39):
You know, kid, I'd give a thousand dollars for your
imagination if.
Speaker 11 (09:43):
Your age is a bargain.
Speaker 7 (09:47):
Oh shot, Well, Dennis, knowledge you're here. I think the
boys would like to have you do a song.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
What's it going to be? I'm gonna sing a brand
new number called Private buckeroos good.
Speaker 12 (09:56):
Let's have a kid hold it a minute, then, mister Benny,
yes on, behalf of the officers and the men of
the presidio. I would like to present you with this
regulation on the uniform.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Say say, but it's awfully big for me.
Speaker 12 (10:10):
It's so large, so we thought you might want to
place where you could serve tea in the afternoon.
Speaker 7 (10:19):
Get a load of his head, fellow, there's a gi haircut.
Speaker 6 (10:22):
If I ever.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
G I means government issue. Folk. Seeing that.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
All on some car.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
In the west, he would all all in the army
name on you names for him, fri. We are hollowing
(11:12):
that a strange too.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Crazy here the.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
Cattle law, but it's just the pupil flawing boom prize.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
But the room, the.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
In company, you away from corals and all the pal
You won't he happened any fangings that you've dropping this year,
Ramdon private, But the room he's nicety, easy thing. It's
(12:06):
one nap.
Speaker 8 (12:09):
Still.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
It's get along, wakaroo. You're in me all army rule
that easy land. You may fund bad.
Speaker 10 (12:30):
And boo, but there's nothing Easy's aperid of copper top,
a corbe made of room ride fuckeroo, Si up, lad
(12:50):
they're around the offer. You got your larrius ready sew
some cool legged doggies who's name?
Speaker 4 (13:04):
And we'll see become fire running to the day of
your return.
Speaker 7 (13:38):
That was Private Bukaroo Songs for the first time on
the air by Dennize Swell.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Then and now, ladies and.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Genteral say, mister Benny, what are the kids.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
We sure had a lot of excitement that the Streets.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Of past cafe the other night.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Didn't we?
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Yes, yes, And now, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 10 (13:55):
Why did they throw you out? You didn't do anything?
Speaker 11 (14:00):
Uh for forget a kid, forget us And now, ladies,
wait a minute, I want to know what happened at
the Streets of Paris the other night.
Speaker 7 (14:06):
Oh there was a little argument, that's all. Dennis and
I were out for an evening of fun.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
So we walked into this cafe with a couple.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Of cute girls.
Speaker 10 (14:14):
Yeah, we followed him for miles.
Speaker 7 (14:23):
We caught up with them at the bottom of the set.
Speaker 10 (14:27):
Well.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Anyway, we all.
Speaker 7 (14:29):
Went inside and uh Dennis. Dennis asked for a glass
of milk and I ordered a.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Lemon phosphate at the streets of Paris they.
Speaker 9 (14:38):
Sent out for us.
Speaker 7 (14:41):
Anyway, as we were sitting there with the girls, chatting
and laughing, a couple of great, big guys walk over
to us, and one of them said, what are you
two punks doing with our girls? So Dennis jumped up
and said, uh, you want to make something out of it?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Yeah, you little rascal. And next thing I knew, I
was laying out on Mason Street.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
It could happen to anybody who say, whatever became of
you that night? Dennis, Oh, the boy's got a girl
from me, And we all went out, Oh, good, good, good,
Hello pil I attacked them.
Speaker 9 (15:17):
Hello, fellas, were you worried about me?
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Were you're worried about me?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
There's the only marceled Ham I ever saw, well, pail.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Here we are in San Francisco.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
The old town's as peppy as ever, isn't it, Yes, sir,
And I'm sure getting the kick out of broadcasting for
the soldiers here.
Speaker 8 (15:41):
It's the presidio. That's Presidio Presidio, all right?
Speaker 9 (15:54):
How far did I miss it?
Speaker 8 (16:00):
That's right for you.
Speaker 9 (16:01):
That's a bullseye.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
By the way, Phil, I'm doing a.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Little checking up around here.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Where are you stopping in town? Well?
Speaker 9 (16:09):
I got a swite over at the Palace Hotel.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
You gotta watch.
Speaker 11 (16:12):
Well, here we go again.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
You're gonna sing that, sister.
Speaker 7 (16:16):
Listen, Harris, Harris, what's the idea of getting a swite?
Speaker 8 (16:19):
Well, I got a lot of friends in town, and
I need a place.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Ngo.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
I know a place where you can serve tea.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
See what's that?
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (16:32):
Pardon me, You wouldn't know that Te's bill is a
beverage that you can serve up in your room all
afternoon and no furniture will be broken.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Catch on.
Speaker 8 (16:42):
It took all the furniture out of my room. Wise guy.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Oh yeah, yess a carpet and a bucket of ice.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
That's Harris. Hey, fellas, you want to hear something.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
This is a time where I started out fifteen years
ago on my musical career in the Old.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Roads room at the Saint Francis Hotel.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah, and the only guy that's still with me is
Frank Remley, my guitar player.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
No kidding, how come Frank?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
He's been with you so long? Look, Jackson, if I
had on you what he's got on me, I'd be
the star of this show.
Speaker 7 (17:16):
Oh, I always thought that guitar had a dictive phone
in it. Well, let's have a band number Phil and
show the boys here.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
How you've improved in fifteen years.
Speaker 11 (17:26):
Okay, Jackson, wait a minute, nobody's saying anything. And shall
I read my poem?
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Mary?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
What is it every time we visit a camp you
have to write a poem?
Speaker 11 (17:34):
That's right?
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Well, you're not going to read one today?
Speaker 11 (17:36):
I forbid it, Colonel Martinus said, I could.
Speaker 7 (17:39):
Oh, he did a Listen Mary, who's running this post?
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Me?
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Or the Oh?
Speaker 1 (17:44):
What am I saying? Gosh, boy, are you gonna feel potatoes?
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Well?
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Mary, if the colonel wants to hear your poem, I'm
only too happy to oblige him. That's the title of us.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
I like a soldier boy, She means, I like a
soldier boy.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I know what I mean.
Speaker 8 (18:10):
Okay, read your palm.
Speaker 11 (18:16):
I love soldiers. They're so gay and they're charming, I
might say, so, give me a soldier any day or
any night if he can get away.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Hey, not bad, he continue.
Speaker 11 (18:29):
I went dancing at the y and I saw a
handsome guy. I dropped my hanky trim with lace. He
picked it out, and wife to face you.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
You mean he passed you by.
Speaker 11 (18:41):
He passed me by without a glance. So I spoke
to him and took a chance. Say, buddy, would you
like to dance? I'd love to miss, but I ripped
my shirt.
Speaker 9 (18:58):
Mary.
Speaker 11 (18:59):
That doesn't rid rhymes rehearsal.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
That's that's a very good poe.
Speaker 6 (19:11):
Mary.
Speaker 9 (19:12):
Now, Phil, let's ever.
Speaker 11 (19:13):
Wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Last verse all out good.
Speaker 11 (19:15):
If you listeners all could see the young men in
front of me, you buy some bonds and buy some
more and win the war with a great big score
the ends.
Speaker 9 (19:35):
Marry.
Speaker 7 (19:36):
That last verse really made sense, and I'm sure everybody
will dig down and get those defense bonds. And accidentally,
ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to announce that our
program this evening is being short waived by radio station
KGEI to Alaska.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Hawaii, Australia, and New Zealand.
Speaker 7 (19:51):
To the United States Fleet in the PACISPI, to the
American Expeditionary Force in Java, to General MacArthur and his men.
Speaker 8 (19:58):
And I do mean men in the middle of.
Speaker 9 (20:06):
Also also to the American.
Speaker 7 (20:09):
Volunteer flyers guarding the Burma Rose. So go ahead with
your number, phill, I don't.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Have to tell you to play loud you will anyway.
Speaker 9 (21:37):
I was how about you?
Speaker 7 (21:38):
Played by Bill Harris and his Golden Gate Orchestra, Golden
meaning golden notes four four from.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Their instruments, and gate meaning they may soon get saint.
Speaker 9 (21:49):
And now, ladies and Joe, that's a fine thing to say,
after what we went.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Through to get up there.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
What do you mean, well, me and the boys working
to builtmore ball los angeless. We worked there last night
and goes who I am.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
And then, tired and weary, we got.
Speaker 6 (22:01):
On a bus and started out for bathrooms.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
From four hundreds and seventy three miles of fust driving
across deserts and mountains, and then.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
We went through rain and storm, little knowing what.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Dangers lurked ahead of us. Danger. And when we arrived
this morning, hungry and thirsty and just shovels, our first
thought was to rush over here and rehearse three.
Speaker 8 (22:22):
Hours for this broadcast.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Geez, can you imagine all that tubblets for one lousy number?
Speaker 3 (22:29):
Yeah, don't seem right.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Hungry, thirsty and a shovel well, less loyalty for you, Yeah,
remind me Phil when.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
We get back to Hollywood, I'll give the boys a bonus.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
They do look dishevels.
Speaker 11 (22:38):
Those guys look the shoveled every week.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Come to think about that thirsty every week too. Forget
that bonus fail and now.
Speaker 11 (22:46):
Mean to say you're really going to give the hand
out of bonus.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Yes, I was going to hand out a bonus.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
What are you laughing at?
Speaker 11 (22:54):
You wouldn't give a dog a to bonus.
Speaker 7 (22:58):
Marry one more practice like that and a floor walker
at the main company will be your new straight man.
I wish you'd go to sas Alito, all right, Don,
I wish Mary would go to sas Alito.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Oh, Jack, this is.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
The most ridiculous one.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Yes, Don, I wish Mary would go to sas Alito.
It's a nice little town across the Bay.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I know where it is, and I'm not going to
do that silly commercial.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Don I'm warning you Sausalito.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Oh very well, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 9 (23:30):
The next time you no, no, don saw Salito.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Oh all right, ladies and gentlemen. The next time you
go to your neighborhood grocer, why don't you ask him
for the package of jello. Jello is economical. In fact,
you're never saw some marvelous value for sas Alita sum
of money.
Speaker 6 (23:57):
There you are, now get this.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Clever switch folk. If Mary doesn't feel like going to
salt Alito, she can.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Go to Berkeley.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
This I won't do.
Speaker 13 (24:07):
Down.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Mary can go to Berkeley.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
You could go wrong.
Speaker 9 (24:14):
Berkeley.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Now go ahead, I guess pride, yellow folks, you will
enjoy every one of those delicious flavors.
Speaker 12 (24:23):
Paul Berkeley, ras Berkeley, clemon and lime Berkeley Lime Berkeley.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
You ruined it. You ruined the cleverest commercial I ever wrote.
Speaker 11 (24:31):
I can't understand it. I can't understand it. You can't
understand what all lead men under arms and you haven't
been shot yet?
Speaker 3 (24:41):
What are you talking about? It was a brilliant piece
of writing, wasn't it?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Still?
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Well, it's telling the truth, Jackson.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I thought it was pretty corny.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Oh you did?
Speaker 10 (24:47):
Ah?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
What do you think of a Dennis Well?
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Personally?
Speaker 3 (24:50):
I thought it was very.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Very what you will plug me?
Speaker 3 (24:57):
I will not?
Speaker 9 (24:58):
Hey, maybe you fellas didn't get it's a gag.
Speaker 7 (25:00):
Now look Sasolito is a pun for such a livelod.
So naturally when Don said that, wait a minute, I'll
take it.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Hello, Hello, mister Benny's Rochester what do you want, Rochester?
Speaker 10 (25:19):
Say, Boss, I think you ought to check into a
hotel tonight.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Why, what's the matter.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Do you know that old ferry boat.
Speaker 10 (25:25):
Isn't living on Yes, well, the time came in and
it went out.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Why Why, that's impossible.
Speaker 9 (25:37):
That boat was on dry land.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
It had roses growing around the door.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
The best food has nibbled on Now.
Speaker 7 (25:43):
Well, I guess there's nothing we can do about it.
I'll tell you what, Rochester, bring my trunk and suitcases
over here, and I'll go to a hotel tonight.
Speaker 10 (25:50):
Oh what are you all own about?
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Don't tell me you left my trunk and everything in
the boat. Don't tell me I didn't. What do you mean, well, Boss,
at the time was the unexpected launching.
Speaker 10 (26:04):
Yes, dudes and no women and children.
Speaker 8 (26:06):
I got offers.
Speaker 7 (26:14):
Imagine leaving my trunk and all my stuff on the boat.
I bet you even left my washing hanging up on
the mask.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Yeah you ought to see it, Boss, The sun shines
through your short this decision of cheer beauty.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
The heck with the beauty. I want my clothes.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Ill, let's see there's no rowboat around there. I got it, Rochester,
can you swim?
Speaker 3 (26:34):
What's that boss, I said, can you swim?
Speaker 8 (26:36):
No, sir, you can too.
Speaker 10 (26:38):
Not with a trump on my back.
Speaker 8 (26:40):
I can read the b.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
So I'll tell you what Rochester.
Speaker 9 (26:44):
I'll be through here pretty soon.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
Then when we can rent a motor boat, go out.
Speaker 6 (26:47):
And get it.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Okay, goodbye, goodbye? Oh say boss?
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Now what after?
Speaker 1 (26:52):
We can all say? Now?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Can I have the night off? Why? Where are you going?
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Well?
Speaker 9 (26:55):
I got some friends and no women there inviting me
over for tea tea. Yeah, we want to break up
the furnishes.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Play bells.
Speaker 11 (27:08):
For U.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Jello really swell, something schifferent and something mighty delicious too.
Speaker 5 (27:13):
Friends, every time you order jello from your grocer, ask
him for jello puddings in all three flavors, chocolate, vanilla,
and butterscotch. There's jello vanilla pudding, gloriously creamy and full
of rich homemade flavor that makes every spoonful of mellow delight.
This program came to you from Hollywood. This is the
National Broadcasting Company OOO.
Speaker 13 (27:34):
K f I Los Angeles use sealed Coat liquid nail protector.
Seal coat protects nails and aid to longer nails. Sealed
coat protects Polly's from chips. And Mars seal coat add
luster to Polly's twenty five cents Seal Coat your nails
today and every day.
Encoded by n MP three.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Thee Coming to You from the Presidio in San Francisco,
starring Jack Benny, but Barry Livingston, Phil Harris, Tennessee, Rochester,
and Yours truly.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Don Wilks.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
The Orchestrope is a program with the case sounds.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Go rolling along.
Speaker 5 (00:35):
Never in all the forty years or more that folks
have been buying jello, has Jello tasted more delicious and
the reason Jello's wonderful new locked in flavor. By means
of an exclusive Jello process, Jello's swell, tempting flavor is
locked in to give you extra goodness, new delight, richer enjoyment.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
For Jello today is.
Speaker 5 (00:53):
Better than ever, now that its tangy, tantalizing flavor is
locked right into the tiny Jello particles. Jello offers you
new high in pleasure.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
More than ever.
Speaker 5 (01:02):
It's intriguing goodness brings to mind the grand, refreshing flavor
of the juicy.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Ripe fruit itself.
Speaker 5 (01:07):
More than ever, Jello gives you real desert delight, and
all because of this new Jello process that locks in
the magic of Jello's glorious flavor. You can prove for
yourself that this delicious jello flavor actually is locked in.
Open a package of jello. Notice there is no sweet
fruity odor. No tell Taylor Roma to worn of escaping flavor.
And then dissolve the jello, and notice how its marvelous,
(01:30):
captive goodness comes pouring out in a rich gush of
fragrance and flavor. So ask your grosser tomorrow for several
packages of jello and discover for yourself how much better
and richer jello is now that its famous flavor.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Is locked in.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
That was the Caissons Girl rolling along, played by the orchestra.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Now, ladies and gentlemen, him.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
As much as we are broadcasting from the US Army
Post at the Presidio in San Francisco, and this being
the birthday of George Washington, it is only fitting that
we bring you a man who fought heroically for that
great General at bally Forde.
Speaker 6 (02:40):
Jack Benny, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 7 (02:51):
Jelo again, this is a Jack Bunny talking and Don
that was the most ridiculous introduction I ever heard, imagine saying,
and I fought at bally Forde.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Why it's absurd, But Jack, you've told me to mention
your war records.
Speaker 7 (03:03):
I meant the World War, the Battle of Valley Port
took place over one hundred and sixty years ago.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
My goodness, that would make me older than Fred Allen.
Speaker 6 (03:14):
Much.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Now wait a minute, Jack, Fred Allen is younger than
you are.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
And you know it.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
What did you say, big boy? What did you say?
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I said, Fred Allen is younger than you are.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
That's a military secret.
Speaker 8 (03:28):
And I'm going to tell the.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Colonel on you you heard him, fellas Alan younger than me.
Speaker 6 (03:35):
I like to have.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Muscles as hard as his arteries. From anyway, Don, it's
nice being up here in Frisco. As they don't.
Speaker 8 (03:47):
Say, by as Jack, it certainly is.
Speaker 7 (03:51):
And by the way, Don, as long as I'm paying
everybody's expenses on this trip, may.
Speaker 9 (03:56):
I inquire where you're stopping?
Speaker 10 (03:58):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:59):
The little woman and I I have a lovely sweep.
It's the Fairmount Hotel.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
A suite. Eh, that's that's several rooms, isn't it. Yes,
you see, Jack, I'm.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
A pretty big man.
Speaker 8 (04:10):
And when I take my belt off at.
Speaker 6 (04:12):
Night, I spread out.
Speaker 8 (04:16):
I don't care if you overflow.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Like a volcano.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Get into one room.
Speaker 9 (04:22):
You don't need a sweep.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
But Jack, Tay and I have a lot of friends
here in town, and we wanted a place where we
could serve.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Tea in the afternoon.
Speaker 7 (04:28):
Ohta, But from now on, brother, your friends can lift
their liptons in the lobby.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Get into one room. All I say is what's good
enough for me is good enough for my cat? Perhaps
you're right by the way, Jack, Where are you stopping shomy?
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Oh, Dennis and I have.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
A beautiful room at the Ocean Spray Auto car.
Speaker 7 (04:52):
Over at in Alameda. It's a lovely place. It's run
by a retired harry boat captain, where in fact that's
what it is, an old ferry boat. We're living in
what was formerly the Poop Eggs. Of course it's been redecorated.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
You know, Well that sounds quite novel. Have you a
private bath?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
What is that done? I said, have you a private bath? Well,
there's a bolt on the door. If that's what you need,
you must come over sometime down.
Speaker 6 (05:34):
The Ocean Spray Auto Court.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Is that right on the ocean front?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
And no, it's not exactly on the ocean. It's very
nice though. Well can you see the ocean? No, you
can't actually see it. Done, But when the west wind
is blowing over those mudflats. You just know it's.
Speaker 8 (05:50):
There, and if the breeze is well, if it isn't.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Miss Livingston say hello to the soldiers.
Speaker 9 (05:59):
Mary.
Speaker 11 (06:00):
Aye, boys, let's take some noise.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
You asked for it and you got it.
Speaker 8 (06:12):
I can't understand it.
Speaker 7 (06:13):
Mary, but every time we entertain the soldiers, you get
a much bigger reception.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Than I do.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Why is that?
Speaker 11 (06:18):
I guess my legs are prettier than yours, hot hitty.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Oh, I don't know about that, young lady.
Speaker 11 (06:25):
Now I'll leave it to ever roll down your pants.
Who cares.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Well you started?
Speaker 7 (06:31):
By the way, Mary, as long as you're here, I
want to settle something right now in front of Don.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Wilson and all the fellows here. Who is older, Fred,
Allen or me?
Speaker 11 (06:38):
I don't see any insurance man chasing either one of you.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
I can still get fire and thefts.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Smarty and anyhow, just because I have a few gray
hairs doesn't mean I'm an old Dodo.
Speaker 11 (06:53):
Doesn't mean you're cutting teeth either.
Speaker 10 (06:57):
Oh.
Speaker 7 (06:57):
I'm glad you mentioned that, Mary, because it so happened.
And I have a brand new tooth coming in.
Speaker 11 (07:02):
So there, where's it coming in?
Speaker 1 (07:04):
From?
Speaker 11 (07:04):
Sears?
Speaker 10 (07:04):
And Rowbucks.
Speaker 7 (07:09):
They are not coming in from tears and Rollbucks.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
They don't even handle them.
Speaker 11 (07:12):
Oh you checked John today.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Let me tell you something else.
Speaker 7 (07:16):
The next one that mentions Fred Allen has to pay
his own expenses in San Francisco.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
By the way, Mary, where are you stopping?
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Oh?
Speaker 11 (07:22):
I have a lovely suite at this Sir Francis Drake.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
That's a Mary.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
You could very well have taken one room instead of two.
Speaker 11 (07:29):
I've got three.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
What do you need three rooms for?
Speaker 11 (07:34):
Well, I've got a lot of friends in town, and
I have to have a place where I can serve
tea in the afternoon.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
T t everybody giving tea parties.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Funny thing. I'm never invited.
Speaker 7 (07:43):
Jack, How can we reach you?
Speaker 11 (07:44):
Yeah, you haven't even got a telephone on that broken
down serry boat.
Speaker 9 (07:47):
You could wigwag, sister, you could wigwag.
Speaker 11 (07:58):
You got the wig? How could we wag it?
Speaker 6 (08:04):
I mean with flag?
Speaker 1 (08:05):
You may laugh at the ocean prey autocord, Mary, But
it's lovely.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
There isn't a Dennis. I said, it's lovely. There isn't
adnnas Do.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
You mind if I take a bow first? Mister Binny?
Speaker 7 (08:14):
No, No, go right ahead, Yes, lovely there. What oh, oh,
you mean the autoport?
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Yes, yes it is? What a kid?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Well, Dennis, this is your first tip of San francisc
Isn't I suppose you've been sight seeing and everything.
Speaker 10 (08:35):
I'll say, I went to see a Rocks in Chinatown
and swim Peaks and Chinatown and fly Shaka Zoo and
Chinatown and what.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
Do you keep going back to Chinatown for us? I
left my hat there someplace.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Oh well, I hope you find it me too, am
I sick of chop? Suey?
Speaker 8 (09:00):
Dennis, you don't have to eat every time you go there.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
What else did you do?
Speaker 11 (09:04):
Dennis?
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Well, now let's see.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Oh yes, last night I went over to Treasure Island
to see the World's Fair. The World's Fair. Save your money, brother,
It ain't much.
Speaker 8 (09:30):
Dennis, Dennis, there isn't any World's Fair.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
It's been closed for two years.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Gee, I could swear I saw a fan dancer.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
A fan dancer.
Speaker 7 (09:39):
You know, kid, I'd give a thousand dollars for your
imagination if.
Speaker 11 (09:43):
Your age is a bargain.
Speaker 7 (09:47):
Oh shot, Well, Dennis, knowledge you're here. I think the
boys would like to have you do a song.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
What's it going to be? I'm gonna sing a brand
new number called Private buckeroos good.
Speaker 12 (09:56):
Let's have a kid hold it a minute, then, mister Benny,
yes on, behalf of the officers and the men of
the presidio. I would like to present you with this
regulation on the uniform.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Say say, but it's awfully big for me.
Speaker 12 (10:10):
It's so large, so we thought you might want to
place where you could serve tea in the afternoon.
Speaker 7 (10:19):
Get a load of his head, fellow, there's a gi haircut.
Speaker 6 (10:22):
If I ever.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
G I means government issue. Folk. Seeing that.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
All on some car.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
In the west, he would all all in the army
name on you names for him, fri. We are hollowing
(11:12):
that a strange too.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Crazy here the.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
Cattle law, but it's just the pupil flawing boom prize.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
But the room, the.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
In company, you away from corals and all the pal
You won't he happened any fangings that you've dropping this year,
Ramdon private, But the room he's nicety, easy thing. It's
(12:06):
one nap.
Speaker 8 (12:09):
Still.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
It's get along, wakaroo. You're in me all army rule
that easy land. You may fund bad.
Speaker 10 (12:30):
And boo, but there's nothing Easy's aperid of copper top,
a corbe made of room ride fuckeroo, Si up, lad
(12:50):
they're around the offer. You got your larrius ready sew
some cool legged doggies who's name?
Speaker 4 (13:04):
And we'll see become fire running to the day of
your return.
Speaker 7 (13:38):
That was Private Bukaroo Songs for the first time on
the air by Dennize Swell.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Then and now, ladies and.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Genteral say, mister Benny, what are the kids.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
We sure had a lot of excitement that the Streets.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Of past cafe the other night.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Didn't we?
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Yes, yes, And now, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 10 (13:55):
Why did they throw you out? You didn't do anything?
Speaker 11 (14:00):
Uh for forget a kid, forget us And now, ladies,
wait a minute, I want to know what happened at
the Streets of Paris the other night.
Speaker 7 (14:06):
Oh there was a little argument, that's all. Dennis and
I were out for an evening of fun.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
So we walked into this cafe with a couple.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Of cute girls.
Speaker 10 (14:14):
Yeah, we followed him for miles.
Speaker 7 (14:23):
We caught up with them at the bottom of the set.
Speaker 10 (14:27):
Well.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Anyway, we all.
Speaker 7 (14:29):
Went inside and uh Dennis. Dennis asked for a glass
of milk and I ordered a.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Lemon phosphate at the streets of Paris they.
Speaker 9 (14:38):
Sent out for us.
Speaker 7 (14:41):
Anyway, as we were sitting there with the girls, chatting
and laughing, a couple of great, big guys walk over
to us, and one of them said, what are you
two punks doing with our girls? So Dennis jumped up
and said, uh, you want to make something out of it?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Yeah, you little rascal. And next thing I knew, I
was laying out on Mason Street.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
It could happen to anybody who say, whatever became of
you that night? Dennis, Oh, the boy's got a girl
from me, And we all went out, Oh, good, good, good,
Hello pil I attacked them.
Speaker 9 (15:17):
Hello, fellas, were you worried about me?
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Were you're worried about me?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
There's the only marceled Ham I ever saw, well, pail.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Here we are in San Francisco.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
The old town's as peppy as ever, isn't it, Yes, sir,
And I'm sure getting the kick out of broadcasting for
the soldiers here.
Speaker 8 (15:41):
It's the presidio. That's Presidio Presidio, all right?
Speaker 9 (15:54):
How far did I miss it?
Speaker 8 (16:00):
That's right for you.
Speaker 9 (16:01):
That's a bullseye.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
By the way, Phil, I'm doing a.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Little checking up around here.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Where are you stopping in town? Well?
Speaker 9 (16:09):
I got a swite over at the Palace Hotel.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
You gotta watch.
Speaker 11 (16:12):
Well, here we go again.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
You're gonna sing that, sister.
Speaker 7 (16:16):
Listen, Harris, Harris, what's the idea of getting a swite?
Speaker 8 (16:19):
Well, I got a lot of friends in town, and
I need a place.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Ngo.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
I know a place where you can serve tea.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
See what's that?
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (16:32):
Pardon me, You wouldn't know that Te's bill is a
beverage that you can serve up in your room all
afternoon and no furniture will be broken.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Catch on.
Speaker 8 (16:42):
It took all the furniture out of my room. Wise guy.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Oh yeah, yess a carpet and a bucket of ice.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
That's Harris. Hey, fellas, you want to hear something.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
This is a time where I started out fifteen years
ago on my musical career in the Old.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Roads room at the Saint Francis Hotel.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah, and the only guy that's still with me is
Frank Remley, my guitar player.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
No kidding, how come Frank?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
He's been with you so long? Look, Jackson, if I
had on you what he's got on me, I'd be
the star of this show.
Speaker 7 (17:16):
Oh, I always thought that guitar had a dictive phone
in it. Well, let's have a band number Phil and
show the boys here.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
How you've improved in fifteen years.
Speaker 11 (17:26):
Okay, Jackson, wait a minute, nobody's saying anything. And shall
I read my poem?
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Mary?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
What is it every time we visit a camp you
have to write a poem?
Speaker 11 (17:34):
That's right?
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Well, you're not going to read one today?
Speaker 11 (17:36):
I forbid it, Colonel Martinus said, I could.
Speaker 7 (17:39):
Oh, he did a Listen Mary, who's running this post?
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Me?
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Or the Oh?
Speaker 1 (17:44):
What am I saying? Gosh, boy, are you gonna feel potatoes?
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Well?
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Mary, if the colonel wants to hear your poem, I'm
only too happy to oblige him. That's the title of us.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
I like a soldier boy, She means, I like a
soldier boy.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I know what I mean.
Speaker 8 (18:10):
Okay, read your palm.
Speaker 11 (18:16):
I love soldiers. They're so gay and they're charming, I
might say, so, give me a soldier any day or
any night if he can get away.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Hey, not bad, he continue.
Speaker 11 (18:29):
I went dancing at the y and I saw a
handsome guy. I dropped my hanky trim with lace. He
picked it out, and wife to face you.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
You mean he passed you by.
Speaker 11 (18:41):
He passed me by without a glance. So I spoke
to him and took a chance. Say, buddy, would you
like to dance? I'd love to miss, but I ripped
my shirt.
Speaker 9 (18:58):
Mary.
Speaker 11 (18:59):
That doesn't rid rhymes rehearsal.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
That's that's a very good poe.
Speaker 6 (19:11):
Mary.
Speaker 9 (19:12):
Now, Phil, let's ever.
Speaker 11 (19:13):
Wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Last verse all out good.
Speaker 11 (19:15):
If you listeners all could see the young men in
front of me, you buy some bonds and buy some
more and win the war with a great big score
the ends.
Speaker 9 (19:35):
Marry.
Speaker 7 (19:36):
That last verse really made sense, and I'm sure everybody
will dig down and get those defense bonds. And accidentally,
ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to announce that our
program this evening is being short waived by radio station
KGEI to Alaska.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Hawaii, Australia, and New Zealand.
Speaker 7 (19:51):
To the United States Fleet in the PACISPI, to the
American Expeditionary Force in Java, to General MacArthur and his men.
Speaker 8 (19:58):
And I do mean men in the middle of.
Speaker 9 (20:06):
Also also to the American.
Speaker 7 (20:09):
Volunteer flyers guarding the Burma Rose. So go ahead with
your number, phill, I don't.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Have to tell you to play loud you will anyway.
Speaker 9 (21:37):
I was how about you?
Speaker 7 (21:38):
Played by Bill Harris and his Golden Gate Orchestra, Golden
meaning golden notes four four from.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Their instruments, and gate meaning they may soon get saint.
Speaker 9 (21:49):
And now, ladies and Joe, that's a fine thing to say,
after what we went.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Through to get up there.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
What do you mean, well, me and the boys working
to builtmore ball los angeless. We worked there last night
and goes who I am.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
And then, tired and weary, we got.
Speaker 6 (22:01):
On a bus and started out for bathrooms.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
From four hundreds and seventy three miles of fust driving
across deserts and mountains, and then.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
We went through rain and storm, little knowing what.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Dangers lurked ahead of us. Danger. And when we arrived
this morning, hungry and thirsty and just shovels, our first
thought was to rush over here and rehearse three.
Speaker 8 (22:22):
Hours for this broadcast.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Geez, can you imagine all that tubblets for one lousy number?
Speaker 3 (22:29):
Yeah, don't seem right.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Hungry, thirsty and a shovel well, less loyalty for you, Yeah,
remind me Phil when.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
We get back to Hollywood, I'll give the boys a bonus.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
They do look dishevels.
Speaker 11 (22:38):
Those guys look the shoveled every week.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Come to think about that thirsty every week too. Forget
that bonus fail and now.
Speaker 11 (22:46):
Mean to say you're really going to give the hand
out of bonus.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Yes, I was going to hand out a bonus.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
What are you laughing at?
Speaker 11 (22:54):
You wouldn't give a dog a to bonus.
Speaker 7 (22:58):
Marry one more practice like that and a floor walker
at the main company will be your new straight man.
I wish you'd go to sas Alito, all right, Don,
I wish Mary would go to sas Alito.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Oh, Jack, this is.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
The most ridiculous one.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Yes, Don, I wish Mary would go to sas Alito.
It's a nice little town across the Bay.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I know where it is, and I'm not going to
do that silly commercial.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Don I'm warning you Sausalito.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Oh very well, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 9 (23:30):
The next time you no, no, don saw Salito.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Oh all right, ladies and gentlemen. The next time you
go to your neighborhood grocer, why don't you ask him
for the package of jello. Jello is economical. In fact,
you're never saw some marvelous value for sas Alita sum
of money.
Speaker 6 (23:57):
There you are, now get this.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Clever switch folk. If Mary doesn't feel like going to
salt Alito, she can.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Go to Berkeley.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
This I won't do.
Speaker 13 (24:07):
Down.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Mary can go to Berkeley.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
You could go wrong.
Speaker 9 (24:14):
Berkeley.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Now go ahead, I guess pride, yellow folks, you will
enjoy every one of those delicious flavors.
Speaker 12 (24:23):
Paul Berkeley, ras Berkeley, clemon and lime Berkeley Lime Berkeley.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
You ruined it. You ruined the cleverest commercial I ever wrote.
Speaker 11 (24:31):
I can't understand it. I can't understand it. You can't
understand what all lead men under arms and you haven't
been shot yet?
Speaker 3 (24:41):
What are you talking about? It was a brilliant piece
of writing, wasn't it?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Still?
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Well, it's telling the truth, Jackson.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I thought it was pretty corny.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Oh you did?
Speaker 10 (24:47):
Ah?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
What do you think of a Dennis Well?
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Personally?
Speaker 3 (24:50):
I thought it was very.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Very what you will plug me?
Speaker 3 (24:57):
I will not?
Speaker 9 (24:58):
Hey, maybe you fellas didn't get it's a gag.
Speaker 7 (25:00):
Now look Sasolito is a pun for such a livelod.
So naturally when Don said that, wait a minute, I'll
take it.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Hello, Hello, mister Benny's Rochester what do you want, Rochester?
Speaker 10 (25:19):
Say, Boss, I think you ought to check into a
hotel tonight.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Why, what's the matter.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Do you know that old ferry boat.
Speaker 10 (25:25):
Isn't living on Yes, well, the time came in and
it went out.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Why Why, that's impossible.
Speaker 9 (25:37):
That boat was on dry land.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
It had roses growing around the door.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
The best food has nibbled on Now.
Speaker 7 (25:43):
Well, I guess there's nothing we can do about it.
I'll tell you what, Rochester, bring my trunk and suitcases
over here, and I'll go to a hotel tonight.
Speaker 10 (25:50):
Oh what are you all own about?
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Don't tell me you left my trunk and everything in
the boat. Don't tell me I didn't. What do you mean, well, Boss,
at the time was the unexpected launching.
Speaker 10 (26:04):
Yes, dudes and no women and children.
Speaker 8 (26:06):
I got offers.
Speaker 7 (26:14):
Imagine leaving my trunk and all my stuff on the boat.
I bet you even left my washing hanging up on
the mask.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Yeah you ought to see it, Boss, The sun shines
through your short this decision of cheer beauty.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
The heck with the beauty. I want my clothes.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Ill, let's see there's no rowboat around there. I got it, Rochester,
can you swim?
Speaker 3 (26:34):
What's that boss, I said, can you swim?
Speaker 8 (26:36):
No, sir, you can too.
Speaker 10 (26:38):
Not with a trump on my back.
Speaker 8 (26:40):
I can read the b.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
So I'll tell you what Rochester.
Speaker 9 (26:44):
I'll be through here pretty soon.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
Then when we can rent a motor boat, go out.
Speaker 6 (26:47):
And get it.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Okay, goodbye, goodbye? Oh say boss?
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Now what after?
Speaker 1 (26:52):
We can all say? Now?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Can I have the night off? Why? Where are you going?
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Well?
Speaker 9 (26:55):
I got some friends and no women there inviting me
over for tea tea. Yeah, we want to break up
the furnishes.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Play bells.
Speaker 11 (27:08):
For U.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Jello really swell, something schifferent and something mighty delicious too.
Speaker 5 (27:13):
Friends, every time you order jello from your grocer, ask
him for jello puddings in all three flavors, chocolate, vanilla,
and butterscotch. There's jello vanilla pudding, gloriously creamy and full
of rich homemade flavor that makes every spoonful of mellow delight.
This program came to you from Hollywood. This is the
National Broadcasting Company OOO.
Speaker 13 (27:34):
K f I Los Angeles use sealed Coat liquid nail protector.
Seal coat protects nails and aid to longer nails. Sealed
coat protects Polly's from chips. And Mars seal coat add
luster to Polly's twenty five cents Seal Coat your nails
today and every day.
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