Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hey, y'all, Hey y'all, Hey y'all, it's sugarl Lex. Welcome
back to the Life of Lex. Y'all. It has been
a minute, Like I can't even remember the last time
I've done a podcast. Obviously I can look that up,
but like, it feels like it's been a very long time.
Like I feel like a different person than I was
(00:25):
then than I was when I started this. I don't know.
I've been doing this podcast for three years now, and
you won't know how much I've made it. I ain't
even gonna tell you. It's some embarrassed it was ten dollars.
But anyway, here we are. It's August of twenty twenty five.
That's crazy. I'm like, I just cannot believe we're in
(00:45):
twenty but here we are. Life is life, and like
this train keeps on rolling, y'all, working working my ass off,
but it pays off in the end, and that's all
that matters, I guess. But yeah, So what I came
to talk to y'all about today is trust. And so
(01:06):
I don't know if y'all know the actual definition of trust,
but Google said that trust is the firm belief and
the reliability truth ability or strength of someone or something,
and so that's not something I really experienced a lot
of in my life, just having trust in all of
(01:29):
that or faith in all of that, or firm belief
rather because I thought that everything had a failing point, right,
There's always a margin of error for a reason. So
I'm not just had this mentality that I was one
of the unluckiest people and so it would be my
(01:51):
luck that something could be working for years and years
and years, but when I get to it, it fails.
And so that mentality growing up just affected me later
on in life because I find myself having issues trusting myself,
other people, and most importantly God. Like I don't know
(02:15):
if y'all know, but I rededicated my life to Christ
the other weekend. It was so funny how it happened,
because the pastor was like, it's to your neighbor and
ask your neighbors it's your time. And I looked at
my friend, I was like, it's your time, and the
lady in front of us took me by my hand
and dragged both of us to the front, and I
(02:37):
was like, oh, I guess it's both of our time.
But yeah, So as I've rededicated my life to christ.
I also have to rededicate my trust to him because
he's carried me this far. Whether I trusted or not
up to me to just trust. And so that's what
I want to get into. So let's start with me
(03:00):
trusting myself. Right. I always had issues trusting myself to
be at my fullest capacity or at my best because
I probably haven't seen it due to the fact that
I don't trust myself, and that stops me from experiencing
a lot of life. Right, Because let's say I'm doing
(03:21):
a project for school and I didn't give it my
one hundred percent. Let's say I gave it my ninety
five percent, and it reflects on my grade. I gave
it my ninety five percent, Marc, I just gave it
my one hundred. But I didn't trust that if I
gave my one hundred percent that I was going to
get a one hundred. Why I don't know, but it
(03:43):
carried on later in life. I'll give y'all a prime
example of a memory I have. So fifth grade, right,
we're taking the CRCT with just the state mandated test
at the end of the year, and my teacher at
the time, she started teaching us new stuff like two
(04:04):
weeks before this test, when in those two weeks were
supposed to be reviewing everything we learned over the years,
so it didn't retain as well. So I'm taking this
test and I get to that part of the test
where it has that new stuff that she just taught us,
and I'm like, it shouldn't be my fault that I
don't know this, and I can't give it my one
hundred percent because you literally just taught it for one day.
(04:27):
And so I started freaking out crying. This girl named
alexis sitting next to me. She's like, Mirio, it's okay,
just guess that's what I did. And I'm like, I
don't want to guess. I don't want to have to guess.
I wanna give it my one hundred percent. And I
can't because I don't know it. I knew everything else
(04:47):
but that, And so my teacher ended up sending me
out of the classroom and sent me to the office.
So I didn't even get to finish sticking my test,
and it like hurt me because that determines your future.
Those tests determine if you go to the next grade.
(05:09):
So I want to think at that point they stopped
doing no trial left behind, so you actually had to
fight for your grade again. And oddly enough, so that
was fifth grade. When I got to sixth grade, I
was putting an advanced math class or an accelerated math class,
and I'm like, how did this happen? And that was
because I gave myself, like I trust myself when it
(05:31):
comes to taking tests, and I finished everything else mainly
except for that one part. I saved that. Like when
I saw it, I was like, ooh, I'm gonna come
back to that. Finished everything else, so it really didn't
affect my grade at all. But like I said, I
couldn't give it my one husband gave it maybe a
(05:52):
eighty percent, And so when I'm reaping the benefits from it,
I'm confused because I didn't give my one hundred percent.
I know, y'at here, but I guess that's where I
have to learn to trust in my own ability and
strength to say, you know what, I gave my way
to each park gave right. I gotta give myself credit
(06:15):
where credit is due, Otherwise I'm gonna feel incompetent when
I move to the next level of anything. Y'all, I
cannot anyhow next trusting others, y'all. I don't trust anybody.
And it's kind of partly how I grew up. I
(06:36):
was raised to, you know, be careful who I have
around me. You know, watch people, you know the standard
don't leave your drink around or don't leave your drinking
to go to the bathroom or something like, be careful
who you go to a store with because they might
be stealing. Like just the little things way up in
my mind because I'm like, you could actually be out
(06:59):
with somebody and you feel like you trust them and
you leave your drink around them, and you find out
later that you shouldn't have trusted that person. And so
I don't want to be betrayed. And I'm the avoidant type.
So to avoid being betrayed, you just don't trust that
person because if you cross me, you just cross me.
I ain't trust you anyways. See, you ain't even get
(07:22):
me for real. But if I trusted you and you
crossed me, that's the betrayal. Betrayals are scary to me
because you never know where it's gonna come from, who's
gonna come from when, And that like anxiety just helps
me be I'm going to avoid the thing that requires,
(07:43):
I guess me opening myself up or being vulnerable. I'm
gonna avoid it. It's stomach. If y'all heard that, I
just ate and know. Yeah, Like I'm an avoidant type
and far for me to trust people. So when it's
necessary for me to trust someone, I'm kind of half
(08:05):
halfway in, half way out, like one foot in, one
foot out, and it makes it awkward. And boy do
I know how to make a situation awkward? And it
just I don't know. But I guess all of that
is what I learn from trusting God. Because how am
I gonna move through life? I can't, Like I can't
(08:27):
carry all of my problems myself, and I can't just
unload them to other people. But I can give them
to God and say, hey, this is going on, and
I don't know what I can do to help it
make it worse. I don't want to make it worse.
So here you go. And if whatever you put on
my heart, we'll go with that. Like, but me, I'll
(08:50):
choose to stress about it. It's stressed about how it's
gonna affect me in the long run and affect my
goals and everything else. And God just gonna do what
he was gonna do anyways, and he will work. He
will work the whole situation out for me. And I'm
sitting over here stress, pemoples coming up. I don't know, dehydrated,
(09:11):
don't know what day. It is, just flowing through life
with a frown my face and for what. And so
I have to learn to trust that God is gonna
take care of a situation I give to him, and
that he loves me enough to take me into consideration.
And all I have to do is just sit back
(09:33):
and smile and learn to be vulnerable, maybe because I
feel like I'm an open book, but this book is meticulate,
like it's just the right amount of juicy. It's not
juicy enough. It could be juicy er, but not letting
you in on that, okay, And that's just I don't know.
(09:57):
That's one of those things I have to work on.
But that's why I come tell y'all about the things
that I have to work on for myself, because this
is my podcast, and I appreciate y'all coming to listen.
I really do, because like I said, I've been doing
this for three years. For a long time, I didn't
know what I wanted to do with it other than
(10:20):
just talk about myself. And now I'm like, well, let
me make the best out of it and not just
get in from of this microphone and ramble. Let me
have a plan. So I may this plan up two
minutes before I hit record. Okay, but it's a whole
lot better, a whole lot better format, and you know,
(10:40):
baby steps, y'all. I gotta work on planning better and
managing my time better, cause I don't know if y'all
are like me. It takes me two hours to get ready.
I know that about myself, So it means if I
need to be somewhere at seven, I need to give
myself two hours to get ready. So I think that
I need to wake up at five, when in actuality,
(11:03):
I need to get up at four so I can
give myself time in between to you know, get myself
together and not be rushing. Cause I made two hours
worth of work fitting to an hour and a half,
crazy stuff, and then I come in to work on
two wheels and it's it's a mess. I gotta figure
(11:25):
my life out, y'all. But if y'all are gonna ride
this journey with me, I mean let's do it, because
all my listeners have seen me grow, cause I am
pretty sure you can tell the difference in the person
that I am today on August twelfth of twenty twenty five.
Then it was of maybe August twelfth of tweeny twenty three.
(11:49):
Al Right, maybe I was probably a hot mess, okay,
just as how as my breath was just saying okay.
So I just appreciate y'all stick can win me tuning in.
If you're a fan, hey boo, hey bookie, and if
you're not a fan, come on and join the team,
(12:10):
come on and be booky okay. But this is just
my place to be me and reflect on my life
and share what I need to work on with y'all,
because I'm pretty sure everybody has something that they need
to work on in their lives. So anyhow, i'm'a let
y'all go. I'm'a get out y'all's hair alright, love piece
(12:33):
and chicken graase alright. And when I come up with
a new sign off, okay, i'll let y'all know I
don't have one today. But just don't go messing up
nobody's day, y'all. It's not cut it's not cute, and
it definitely makes them upset. People make me upset when
they try to mess up my day, and I'm like,
(12:54):
I really don't care either way, whether you're there it's
messed up or not, I don't care, but you can't
come mess with my day. So I don't want you
all to be that person. Don't be that person, all right, Bye,
Hey, y'all, Hey y'all, Hey y'all, it's sugarl Lex. Welcome
back to the Life of Lex. Y'all. It has been
a minute, Like I can't even remember the last time
I've done a podcast. Obviously I can look that up,
but like, it feels like it's been a very long time.
Like I feel like a different person than I was
(00:25):
then than I was when I started this. I don't know.
I've been doing this podcast for three years now, and
you won't know how much I've made it. I ain't
even gonna tell you. It's some embarrassed it was ten dollars.
But anyway, here we are. It's August of twenty twenty five.
That's crazy. I'm like, I just cannot believe we're in
(00:45):
twenty but here we are. Life is life, and like
this train keeps on rolling, y'all, working working my ass off,
but it pays off in the end, and that's all
that matters, I guess. But yeah, So what I came
to talk to y'all about today is trust. And so
(01:06):
I don't know if y'all know the actual definition of trust,
but Google said that trust is the firm belief and
the reliability truth ability or strength of someone or something,
and so that's not something I really experienced a lot
of in my life, just having trust in all of
(01:29):
that or faith in all of that, or firm belief
rather because I thought that everything had a failing point, right,
There's always a margin of error for a reason. So
I'm not just had this mentality that I was one
of the unluckiest people and so it would be my
(01:51):
luck that something could be working for years and years
and years, but when I get to it, it fails.
And so that mentality growing up just affected me later
on in life because I find myself having issues trusting myself,
other people, and most importantly God. Like I don't know
(02:15):
if y'all know, but I rededicated my life to Christ
the other weekend. It was so funny how it happened,
because the pastor was like, it's to your neighbor and
ask your neighbors it's your time. And I looked at
my friend, I was like, it's your time, and the
lady in front of us took me by my hand
and dragged both of us to the front, and I
(02:37):
was like, oh, I guess it's both of our time.
But yeah, So as I've rededicated my life to christ.
I also have to rededicate my trust to him because
he's carried me this far. Whether I trusted or not
up to me to just trust. And so that's what
I want to get into. So let's start with me
(03:00):
trusting myself. Right. I always had issues trusting myself to
be at my fullest capacity or at my best because
I probably haven't seen it due to the fact that
I don't trust myself, and that stops me from experiencing
a lot of life. Right, Because let's say I'm doing
(03:21):
a project for school and I didn't give it my
one hundred percent. Let's say I gave it my ninety
five percent, and it reflects on my grade. I gave
it my ninety five percent, Marc, I just gave it
my one hundred. But I didn't trust that if I
gave my one hundred percent that I was going to
get a one hundred. Why I don't know, but it
(03:43):
carried on later in life. I'll give y'all a prime
example of a memory I have. So fifth grade, right,
we're taking the CRCT with just the state mandated test
at the end of the year, and my teacher at
the time, she started teaching us new stuff like two
(04:04):
weeks before this test, when in those two weeks were
supposed to be reviewing everything we learned over the years,
so it didn't retain as well. So I'm taking this
test and I get to that part of the test
where it has that new stuff that she just taught us,
and I'm like, it shouldn't be my fault that I
don't know this, and I can't give it my one
hundred percent because you literally just taught it for one day.
(04:27):
And so I started freaking out crying. This girl named
alexis sitting next to me. She's like, Mirio, it's okay,
just guess that's what I did. And I'm like, I
don't want to guess. I don't want to have to guess.
I wanna give it my one hundred percent. And I
can't because I don't know it. I knew everything else
(04:47):
but that, And so my teacher ended up sending me
out of the classroom and sent me to the office.
So I didn't even get to finish sticking my test,
and it like hurt me because that determines your future.
Those tests determine if you go to the next grade.
(05:09):
So I want to think at that point they stopped
doing no trial left behind, so you actually had to
fight for your grade again. And oddly enough, so that
was fifth grade. When I got to sixth grade, I
was putting an advanced math class or an accelerated math class,
and I'm like, how did this happen? And that was
because I gave myself, like I trust myself when it
(05:31):
comes to taking tests, and I finished everything else mainly
except for that one part. I saved that. Like when
I saw it, I was like, ooh, I'm gonna come
back to that. Finished everything else, so it really didn't
affect my grade at all. But like I said, I
couldn't give it my one husband gave it maybe a
(05:52):
eighty percent, And so when I'm reaping the benefits from it,
I'm confused because I didn't give my one hundred percent.
I know, y'at here, but I guess that's where I
have to learn to trust in my own ability and
strength to say, you know what, I gave my way
to each park gave right. I gotta give myself credit
(06:15):
where credit is due, Otherwise I'm gonna feel incompetent when
I move to the next level of anything. Y'all, I
cannot anyhow next trusting others, y'all. I don't trust anybody.
And it's kind of partly how I grew up. I
(06:36):
was raised to, you know, be careful who I have
around me. You know, watch people, you know the standard
don't leave your drink around or don't leave your drinking
to go to the bathroom or something like, be careful
who you go to a store with because they might
be stealing. Like just the little things way up in
my mind because I'm like, you could actually be out
(06:59):
with somebody and you feel like you trust them and
you leave your drink around them, and you find out
later that you shouldn't have trusted that person. And so
I don't want to be betrayed. And I'm the avoidant type.
So to avoid being betrayed, you just don't trust that
person because if you cross me, you just cross me.
I ain't trust you anyways. See, you ain't even get
(07:22):
me for real. But if I trusted you and you
crossed me, that's the betrayal. Betrayals are scary to me
because you never know where it's gonna come from, who's
gonna come from when, And that like anxiety just helps
me be I'm going to avoid the thing that requires,
(07:43):
I guess me opening myself up or being vulnerable. I'm
gonna avoid it. It's stomach. If y'all heard that, I
just ate and know. Yeah, Like I'm an avoidant type
and far for me to trust people. So when it's
necessary for me to trust someone, I'm kind of half
(08:05):
halfway in, half way out, like one foot in, one
foot out, and it makes it awkward. And boy do
I know how to make a situation awkward? And it
just I don't know. But I guess all of that
is what I learn from trusting God. Because how am
I gonna move through life? I can't, Like I can't
(08:27):
carry all of my problems myself, and I can't just
unload them to other people. But I can give them
to God and say, hey, this is going on, and
I don't know what I can do to help it
make it worse. I don't want to make it worse.
So here you go. And if whatever you put on
my heart, we'll go with that. Like, but me, I'll
(08:50):
choose to stress about it. It's stressed about how it's
gonna affect me in the long run and affect my
goals and everything else. And God just gonna do what
he was gonna do anyways, and he will work. He
will work the whole situation out for me. And I'm
sitting over here stress, pemoples coming up. I don't know, dehydrated,
(09:11):
don't know what day. It is, just flowing through life
with a frown my face and for what. And so
I have to learn to trust that God is gonna
take care of a situation I give to him, and
that he loves me enough to take me into consideration.
And all I have to do is just sit back
(09:33):
and smile and learn to be vulnerable, maybe because I
feel like I'm an open book, but this book is meticulate,
like it's just the right amount of juicy. It's not
juicy enough. It could be juicy er, but not letting
you in on that, okay, And that's just I don't know.
(09:57):
That's one of those things I have to work on.
But that's why I come tell y'all about the things
that I have to work on for myself, because this
is my podcast, and I appreciate y'all coming to listen.
I really do, because like I said, I've been doing
this for three years. For a long time, I didn't
know what I wanted to do with it other than
(10:20):
just talk about myself. And now I'm like, well, let
me make the best out of it and not just
get in from of this microphone and ramble. Let me
have a plan. So I may this plan up two
minutes before I hit record. Okay, but it's a whole
lot better, a whole lot better format, and you know,
(10:40):
baby steps, y'all. I gotta work on planning better and
managing my time better, cause I don't know if y'all
are like me. It takes me two hours to get ready.
I know that about myself, So it means if I
need to be somewhere at seven, I need to give
myself two hours to get ready. So I think that
I need to wake up at five, when in actuality,
(11:03):
I need to get up at four so I can
give myself time in between to you know, get myself
together and not be rushing. Cause I made two hours
worth of work fitting to an hour and a half,
crazy stuff, and then I come in to work on
two wheels and it's it's a mess. I gotta figure
(11:25):
my life out, y'all. But if y'all are gonna ride
this journey with me, I mean let's do it, because
all my listeners have seen me grow, cause I am
pretty sure you can tell the difference in the person
that I am today on August twelfth of twenty twenty five.
Then it was of maybe August twelfth of tweeny twenty three.
(11:49):
Al Right, maybe I was probably a hot mess, okay,
just as how as my breath was just saying okay.
So I just appreciate y'all stick can win me tuning in.
If you're a fan, hey boo, hey bookie, and if
you're not a fan, come on and join the team,
(12:10):
come on and be booky okay. But this is just
my place to be me and reflect on my life
and share what I need to work on with y'all,
because I'm pretty sure everybody has something that they need
to work on in their lives. So anyhow, i'm'a let
y'all go. I'm'a get out y'all's hair alright, love piece
(12:33):
and chicken graase alright. And when I come up with
a new sign off, okay, i'll let y'all know I
don't have one today. But just don't go messing up
nobody's day, y'all. It's not cut it's not cute, and
it definitely makes them upset. People make me upset when
they try to mess up my day, and I'm like,
(12:54):
I really don't care either way, whether you're there it's
messed up or not, I don't care, but you can't
come mess with my day. So I don't want you
all to be that person. Don't be that person, all right, Bye,
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