November 20, 2024 • 14 mins
Say player, what you gonna get her for Christmas?
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Hey, y'all. Hey y'all, Hey y'all. How y'all doing, y'all good? Y'all?
Ate today? I hate today, y'all. I missed y'all. Like
I feel like that was a longer break than I
intended to take. But here we are. It's a new day, y'all.
It is the end of November. Who would have thought
(00:29):
like November just flew by. I feel like all these
months have been flying by, but I have been enjoying life,
enjoying lessons that I've been learning. Y'all. Welcome back to
the Life of Lex. I didn't really know what I
wanted to do with the Life of Lex. I didn't
(00:51):
know if I wanted to rebrand it. I didn't know
if I just wanted to stop it altogether. I just
didn't know. And I was feeling like there's something I
need to be working on, right, like what's my thing?
And for a while I forgot that I have this podcast,
(01:12):
like it was my fun fact. But I hadn't been
like posting on here. I haven't been recording new episodes,
you know, advertising nothing like I was just letting to
sit there. And this is something that I started out
of boredom. I started to give advice, give my stories
(01:35):
on my experience with life stuff like it started with
Get Your Shit Together with Muriel, and then I changed
it to the Life of Flex because it just seemed
easier for me to talk about my life experiences in
a less structured way, Like planning out a podcast gave
(01:58):
me so much anxiety, so much like it just made
me nervous to be honest, Like the times when I'm
just getting from this microphone and just talk are basically
when I I do my big ones right versus when
I'm sitting there thinking about what am I gonna talk about?
What's what's my topic for the day. I don't know
(02:21):
the topic is me every episode, Like that's that's the point.
So let me just catch all up with me. So
I've been working a lot, and I really enjoy my job,
Like I've never had a job where I just have
fun all day. I'm working working hard, And one way
(02:46):
you can tell I'm working hard is I've lost a
lot of weight, and I don't like this time last year,
I was in a gym six days a week. Now
I'm working five to six days a week, No gym,
no outside working out, nothing, just going to work and
(03:06):
like I said, working hard but having fun and partying
hard like the job in itself. My job, I feel like,
is to make sure that everyone knows that we are
here to have fun. I'm here to make sure everything's
going smoothly so we can party right, like, not really party,
(03:28):
but work and work be easy and fun. And it
just made me realize that for the longest time, I
did not want to come back here. I did not
want to work at any place nearby, like growing up,
I just wanted to leave here and probably never come
(03:52):
back or come back for the holidays. I don't know.
And I feel like I've been around the world and
back and brought me back to one of my first
jobs I ever had, and I love it like I
love that I had to go through the things that
I had to go through so that I can be
(04:14):
who I am now, because had I been given this
job three years ago, I probably would have crashed out
like the kids say. But now I've learned resilience. For one,
I've learned how to fall and get back up. I've
learned how to make mistakes, learn from it and laugh
(04:35):
from it. Like I'm a different person now, I feel
like but I'm also the same legs that y'all that
y'all knew when I've started this podcast, I'm the same
murial I have always been, maybe just a lot less annoying,
probably not that much less, but anyhow, I just I
(04:58):
get to see the growth that I've made in life
in general. And I don't know what life has for me,
has in store for me. I don't know what God's
plans are for me. Like I hope they're good. I can,
you know, imagine, use my imagination, right, But I don't know.
(05:22):
And that's the beauty of life. Like not knowing and
then finding out the answer. It's such a great feeling
versus just not knowing and sitting in that not knowing
and that ignorance. I was ignorant for so long, Like
I just didn't want to learn things that I didn't
care about. At one point, I didn't want to learn
(05:45):
anything new that like, I didn't even know what I
cared about to learn anything new. I just had a
lot of I don't know's. I had a lot of
stagnant feelings, a lot of burdens on my shoulders. I
feel like I was holding it in this big secret
that everybody needs to know, and it's not even worth
(06:09):
keeping a secret most of it. Like I felt so
much shame coming back and having this long story to
tell of how I ended up here, and I'm just
like my summer job, I had this long story, and
I'm here with all these college kids and high school
(06:32):
kids and narratives. They're about to go out in the
world and find out for themselves, and I didn't want
to ruin it for them. But also I wanted to
feel that, you know, youthful energy of just not knowing
what life has to offer, but enjoying everything that it
has to offer right now. It just makes life so
(06:53):
much easier, Like, yeah, there are so many uncertainties, and
there's a lot of things out of my control that happened.
But what I can control is how I react, how
I learned from the experience, the gratitude that I showed
from learning and making it out alive and being able
(07:16):
to tell the story the next day. I love having
a story to tell, Like, if you have not met
me in person, then this is just one of those
places where sometimes I have a story to tell, not
really but knowing me in person. If I got a
story to tell, I can't wait to tell it, like
(07:36):
I just love to talk, obviously, but I'm just so
thankful for the pain, the tears, the sliding down the wall,
crying to not running down my nose, eyes feel like
they're about to fall out of my head. Thankful for
it all, Thankful for not getting along with certain peace, people,
(08:00):
not having things go my way. I'm thankful because I
get to enjoy life now the way it is versus
the sulgar coota Woodles, because the Shuldar go to Woodles
are not certain what certain it was in front of me, like,
and there's so much to be appreciative for. I don't know.
(08:24):
I guess I'm just feeling a way and I just
wanted to share it with y'all that I love life again.
I love love again, Like for a long time, I
didn't want a relationship. I didn't want to fall in love.
I didn't want to think about love. I don't want
to think about sex. I didn't want to think about
(08:45):
none of it don't bother me. And now I want
a family. I want a marriage, I want the house.
Thinking about where I want to raise my kids, what
they're gonna look like. How am I gonna do their hair,
like I just have all these beautiful wants versus not
(09:05):
wanting anything. And also I just wanted to say that
I haven't listened to a lot of my old episodes recently,
like I used to listen to a few of them.
But if you go back and listen, I'm pretty sure
you can hear the pain in my voice, the despair
(09:29):
in my voice, the lack of hope that I had
in all this, And I suggest you do go listen
to it, because it just shows who I am, because
I've made it this far right. I don't have everything
that I want in life. I'm pretty sure none of
(09:50):
us do, because if we have it all, then what
more do we need? You get what I'm saying, like,
I'm just thankful that when God lending me his and
I reached out for it, Like I just can't get
over that moment of me sliding down the wall crying
done made it on the floor. I just didn't want
(10:12):
to fight anymore. I was like, God just pulled me up,
and he did. And there are times I'm sure that
I'm gonna be sliding down the wall crying again, and
I'm gonna say, God pull me up. And he's gonna
do just that. And I just want y'all to know
that he'll do just that for you. I know, because
(10:34):
he's done it for me. Like there were times where
I just didn't see the point and trying anymore, and
that was because I was focused on for when I
was focused on a breakup, a very sad breakup, and
then grief from the miscarriage, and then postpartum depression from
(10:58):
the miscarriage and just lack of direction in life. Like
you know when they say you shouldn't take advice from
people you wouldn't want to live, like I was just
getting all this advice from people whose lives I didn't
want to live, like, instead of people or places where
I did see myself, because nobody else is going to
(11:22):
see your vision unless you paint that picture for them.
Like for one, I I love my therapist. Y'all know,
I got a therapist, right, And she's one of them
people that I just admire, like I want to be
like here when I grow up. But it took for
me to think that I was crazy enough to check
(11:46):
myself into a mental hospital. And look at the reviews
of the mental hospital, and somebody said that they took
away their toothbrush, and I'm like, I can't. I can't
be crazy and have stinky breath. I I can do
one or the other. Okay, I can't do both. And
I was like, well, maybe therapies to be an option.
(12:08):
There were all these advertisements about better help, and so
I tried it out and found out that they have
like a financial aid situation type deal, and they matched
me up this therapist, and boom, here we are two
years later. It's probably our anniversary. AnyWho. It's just like
(12:29):
I had to surround myself with people whose lives I
wanted to or that I admired for one, so that
I have something to strive for. And throughout life, I'm
going to meet more people, gonna do more things. But
I want to remember where it started from, and most
of it started right here on this podcast. I would
(12:52):
not be who I am without this podcast. And so
for me to just want to change anything or do
away with it, just stop doing it it. I don't
see your point. So we in it for don't long run, y'all. Okay,
we locked in tight like a booty hole, all right,
(13:15):
So I just want to leave y'all with that. Let
y'all know that I love y'all. Look out for more
episodes because, like I said, we ain't going nowhere, So
welcome back to the life of flex have yourself. Oh
maybe little Christmas y'all. I've been in the Christmas mode
(13:36):
and I love it. I haven't been excited for Christmas
in so long, So yeah, we excited for Christmas this year, y'all.
AnyWho love Piece and Chicken Grease And like I always say,
don't go messing up. Nobody say I gotta drop the
F bomb, so that stop putting that ear in front
of my episodes. So yeah, don't go blinking up somebody's day.
(14:00):
Make it better, all right. Bye,
Hey, y'all. Hey y'all, Hey y'all. How y'all doing, y'all good? Y'all?
Ate today? I hate today, y'all. I missed y'all. Like
I feel like that was a longer break than I
intended to take. But here we are. It's a new day, y'all.
It is the end of November. Who would have thought
(00:29):
like November just flew by. I feel like all these
months have been flying by, but I have been enjoying life,
enjoying lessons that I've been learning. Y'all. Welcome back to
the Life of Lex. I didn't really know what I
wanted to do with the Life of Lex. I didn't
(00:51):
know if I wanted to rebrand it. I didn't know
if I just wanted to stop it altogether. I just
didn't know. And I was feeling like there's something I
need to be working on, right, like what's my thing?
And for a while I forgot that I have this podcast,
(01:12):
like it was my fun fact. But I hadn't been
like posting on here. I haven't been recording new episodes,
you know, advertising nothing like I was just letting to
sit there. And this is something that I started out
of boredom. I started to give advice, give my stories
(01:35):
on my experience with life stuff like it started with
Get Your Shit Together with Muriel, and then I changed
it to the Life of Flex because it just seemed
easier for me to talk about my life experiences in
a less structured way, Like planning out a podcast gave
(01:58):
me so much anxiety, so much like it just made
me nervous to be honest, Like the times when I'm
just getting from this microphone and just talk are basically
when I I do my big ones right versus when
I'm sitting there thinking about what am I gonna talk about?
What's what's my topic for the day. I don't know
(02:21):
the topic is me every episode, Like that's that's the point.
So let me just catch all up with me. So
I've been working a lot, and I really enjoy my job,
Like I've never had a job where I just have
fun all day. I'm working working hard, And one way
(02:46):
you can tell I'm working hard is I've lost a
lot of weight, and I don't like this time last year,
I was in a gym six days a week. Now
I'm working five to six days a week, No gym,
no outside working out, nothing, just going to work and
(03:06):
like I said, working hard but having fun and partying
hard like the job in itself. My job, I feel like,
is to make sure that everyone knows that we are
here to have fun. I'm here to make sure everything's
going smoothly so we can party right, like, not really party,
(03:28):
but work and work be easy and fun. And it
just made me realize that for the longest time, I
did not want to come back here. I did not
want to work at any place nearby, like growing up,
I just wanted to leave here and probably never come
(03:52):
back or come back for the holidays. I don't know.
And I feel like I've been around the world and
back and brought me back to one of my first
jobs I ever had, and I love it like I
love that I had to go through the things that
I had to go through so that I can be
(04:14):
who I am now, because had I been given this
job three years ago, I probably would have crashed out
like the kids say. But now I've learned resilience. For one,
I've learned how to fall and get back up. I've
learned how to make mistakes, learn from it and laugh
(04:35):
from it. Like I'm a different person now, I feel
like but I'm also the same legs that y'all that
y'all knew when I've started this podcast, I'm the same
murial I have always been, maybe just a lot less annoying,
probably not that much less, but anyhow, I just I
(04:58):
get to see the growth that I've made in life
in general. And I don't know what life has for me,
has in store for me. I don't know what God's
plans are for me. Like I hope they're good. I can,
you know, imagine, use my imagination, right, But I don't know.
(05:22):
And that's the beauty of life. Like not knowing and
then finding out the answer. It's such a great feeling
versus just not knowing and sitting in that not knowing
and that ignorance. I was ignorant for so long, Like
I just didn't want to learn things that I didn't
care about. At one point, I didn't want to learn
(05:45):
anything new that like, I didn't even know what I
cared about to learn anything new. I just had a
lot of I don't know's. I had a lot of
stagnant feelings, a lot of burdens on my shoulders. I
feel like I was holding it in this big secret
that everybody needs to know, and it's not even worth
(06:09):
keeping a secret most of it. Like I felt so
much shame coming back and having this long story to
tell of how I ended up here, and I'm just
like my summer job, I had this long story, and
I'm here with all these college kids and high school
(06:32):
kids and narratives. They're about to go out in the
world and find out for themselves, and I didn't want
to ruin it for them. But also I wanted to
feel that, you know, youthful energy of just not knowing
what life has to offer, but enjoying everything that it
has to offer right now. It just makes life so
(06:53):
much easier, Like, yeah, there are so many uncertainties, and
there's a lot of things out of my control that happened.
But what I can control is how I react, how
I learned from the experience, the gratitude that I showed
from learning and making it out alive and being able
(07:16):
to tell the story the next day. I love having
a story to tell, Like, if you have not met
me in person, then this is just one of those
places where sometimes I have a story to tell, not
really but knowing me in person. If I got a
story to tell, I can't wait to tell it, like
(07:36):
I just love to talk, obviously, but I'm just so
thankful for the pain, the tears, the sliding down the wall,
crying to not running down my nose, eyes feel like
they're about to fall out of my head. Thankful for
it all, Thankful for not getting along with certain peace, people,
(08:00):
not having things go my way. I'm thankful because I
get to enjoy life now the way it is versus
the sulgar coota Woodles, because the Shuldar go to Woodles
are not certain what certain it was in front of me, like,
and there's so much to be appreciative for. I don't know.
(08:24):
I guess I'm just feeling a way and I just
wanted to share it with y'all that I love life again.
I love love again, Like for a long time, I
didn't want a relationship. I didn't want to fall in love.
I didn't want to think about love. I don't want
to think about sex. I didn't want to think about
(08:45):
none of it don't bother me. And now I want
a family. I want a marriage, I want the house.
Thinking about where I want to raise my kids, what
they're gonna look like. How am I gonna do their hair,
like I just have all these beautiful wants versus not
(09:05):
wanting anything. And also I just wanted to say that
I haven't listened to a lot of my old episodes recently,
like I used to listen to a few of them.
But if you go back and listen, I'm pretty sure
you can hear the pain in my voice, the despair
(09:29):
in my voice, the lack of hope that I had
in all this, And I suggest you do go listen
to it, because it just shows who I am, because
I've made it this far right. I don't have everything
that I want in life. I'm pretty sure none of
(09:50):
us do, because if we have it all, then what
more do we need? You get what I'm saying, like,
I'm just thankful that when God lending me his and
I reached out for it, Like I just can't get
over that moment of me sliding down the wall crying
done made it on the floor. I just didn't want
(10:12):
to fight anymore. I was like, God just pulled me up,
and he did. And there are times I'm sure that
I'm gonna be sliding down the wall crying again, and
I'm gonna say, God pull me up. And he's gonna
do just that. And I just want y'all to know
that he'll do just that for you. I know, because
(10:34):
he's done it for me. Like there were times where
I just didn't see the point and trying anymore, and
that was because I was focused on for when I
was focused on a breakup, a very sad breakup, and
then grief from the miscarriage, and then postpartum depression from
(10:58):
the miscarriage and just lack of direction in life. Like
you know when they say you shouldn't take advice from
people you wouldn't want to live, like I was just
getting all this advice from people whose lives I didn't
want to live, like, instead of people or places where
I did see myself, because nobody else is going to
(11:22):
see your vision unless you paint that picture for them.
Like for one, I I love my therapist. Y'all know,
I got a therapist, right, And she's one of them
people that I just admire, like I want to be
like here when I grow up. But it took for
me to think that I was crazy enough to check
(11:46):
myself into a mental hospital. And look at the reviews
of the mental hospital, and somebody said that they took
away their toothbrush, and I'm like, I can't. I can't
be crazy and have stinky breath. I I can do
one or the other. Okay, I can't do both. And
I was like, well, maybe therapies to be an option.
(12:08):
There were all these advertisements about better help, and so
I tried it out and found out that they have
like a financial aid situation type deal, and they matched
me up this therapist, and boom, here we are two
years later. It's probably our anniversary. AnyWho. It's just like
(12:29):
I had to surround myself with people whose lives I
wanted to or that I admired for one, so that
I have something to strive for. And throughout life, I'm
going to meet more people, gonna do more things. But
I want to remember where it started from, and most
of it started right here on this podcast. I would
(12:52):
not be who I am without this podcast. And so
for me to just want to change anything or do
away with it, just stop doing it it. I don't
see your point. So we in it for don't long run, y'all. Okay,
we locked in tight like a booty hole, all right,
(13:15):
So I just want to leave y'all with that. Let
y'all know that I love y'all. Look out for more
episodes because, like I said, we ain't going nowhere, So
welcome back to the life of flex have yourself. Oh
maybe little Christmas y'all. I've been in the Christmas mode
(13:36):
and I love it. I haven't been excited for Christmas
in so long, So yeah, we excited for Christmas this year, y'all.
AnyWho love Piece and Chicken Grease And like I always say,
don't go messing up. Nobody say I gotta drop the
F bomb, so that stop putting that ear in front
of my episodes. So yeah, don't go blinking up somebody's day.
(14:00):
Make it better, all right. Bye,
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