August 7, 2025 • 28 mins
Discover "Our Miss Brooks Collection," a selection of the best episodes from the beloved radio comedy series. Experience the humorous and heartwarming tales of Miss Brooks and her school adventures. This collection is a must-listen for fans of classic radio comedies and nostalgic storytelling.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Colgate Dental cream to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help stop tooth decay and bluster cream Shampoo, Poissant,
Glamorous caressible Hair.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Bring you Our Miss Brooks starring Eve Varden's.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
If I Must Again, another comedy episode of Our Miss
Brooks under the direction of al lewis Well.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
There's no doubt about it.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
The hopped up geloffe has replaced the tandem bicycle in
most of our high schools, and occasionally reckless driving poses
a problem to the faculty. Our Miss Brooks, who teaches
English at Madison High became acquainted with this problem last week.
Speaker 5 (00:40):
It was on Tuesday, to be exact, and I became
intimately acquainted with the problem. As I was crossing the street,
a wild eyed kid bore down on me and something
that looked like a torpedo with four wheels and a
raccoon tail. If I hadn't been wearing my gym shoes,
I would now be welded to the grille of a
Model Ais. At breakfast Wednesday morning, I discovered that Missus Davis,
(01:03):
my landlady, who was concerned about this problem too.
Speaker 6 (01:07):
I tell you, Connie, it's getting so dangerous that the
body doesn't want to walk in the street anymore, not.
Speaker 7 (01:13):
If it has a head on it. That doesn't.
Speaker 6 (01:17):
The four traffic cops have their hands full.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
Well, the police can't correct this recklessness by themselves. We've
got to do something about it in our schools. Say,
how do you like this for an idea?
Speaker 6 (01:27):
Wonderful, Connie, it's just what this town.
Speaker 7 (01:32):
But I haven't told it to you yet.
Speaker 6 (01:33):
Oh, I'm so sorry. I've been seeing a lot of
my sister Angela lately. She's so absent minded.
Speaker 7 (01:41):
Poor dear. Yes, I know, missus Davis, but please listen
to this.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
I'm going to suggest to mister Conklin that we form
our own student police force. It would be made up
of students who drive their own cars, and they'd have
the power to arrest anyone who violated traffic laws.
Speaker 7 (01:56):
That sounds good. It's just like a self government is
It's more like self preservation.
Speaker 6 (02:03):
Another thing you should do is to start a class
in driving at Madison.
Speaker 5 (02:07):
You might have something there, Missus Davis. You know Play
City High has a driving class.
Speaker 6 (02:11):
I know it, and their principal, Jason Brill is mister
Conklin's arch rival, why he even donated his own color
for the class.
Speaker 7 (02:19):
I remember reading about it.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
Mister Conklin should certainly go for my ideas, if only
to show he's as progressive minded as mister Brill. Oh
that's Walter, demon, he's driving me down to school. I'll
just be a minute, Walter, see the night.
Speaker 7 (02:35):
Missus Davis.
Speaker 6 (02:36):
All right, Connie, now don't forget to tell mister Conklan
your ideas about the student police force and the driving class.
Speaker 7 (02:42):
I won't.
Speaker 8 (02:43):
And remember our safety motto?
Speaker 7 (02:45):
Which one is that?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Which one is what?
Speaker 7 (02:51):
Our safety motto?
Speaker 6 (02:52):
Oh that's a dandy one.
Speaker 7 (02:58):
Yes, it should catch our in no time. Welcomebye again,
missus David.
Speaker 8 (03:03):
Yes, indeed, good morning, Walter.
Speaker 9 (03:08):
Good morning to you, oh fairst of the faculty. Did
you notice anything different today?
Speaker 7 (03:17):
Different? Let's see.
Speaker 5 (03:19):
Oh yes, you've got jam on your face instead of peanut, Butter.
Speaker 8 (03:24):
I don't mean about me, I mean about my car.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
I take a good look. Oh, for heaven's sake, who
stole your fenders? And one of those outlandish pipes sticking
out for huh?
Speaker 9 (03:34):
I know you're not very mechanical minded, miss Brooks, so
I'll make it very simple.
Speaker 7 (03:39):
Stretched noodgrass and I hopped it up and out of
school shop at school.
Speaker 9 (03:42):
You see, first of all, we dropped the chassis springs.
We put in a lightweight camshaft, two Windfield down draft pots,
and a four port Riley super Speed high compression head.
Speaker 7 (03:52):
Do you follow? Not quite?
Speaker 5 (03:54):
What did you say after you said, I'll make it
very simple.
Speaker 8 (04:01):
Just hop in and.
Speaker 9 (04:03):
I'll show you how this heap of heavenly hot iron
can dig out.
Speaker 8 (04:07):
Hey, come, famous trucks.
Speaker 7 (04:09):
Snug as a bug in the engine room.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
Of a destroyers just sort of tangled up with these
pipes and valves. But what's this strange thing sticking out
of the engine that looks like.
Speaker 7 (04:18):
A Thermist jug.
Speaker 9 (04:20):
It's a Thermost jug. I stabbed my lunch to the
engine because mother.
Speaker 7 (04:26):
Likes me to have a hot and meal these days.
Speaker 5 (04:29):
Well, nothing like a nice Bolognian battery acid sandwich.
Speaker 7 (04:34):
Let's get it started, Walder.
Speaker 8 (04:35):
If hang on, Mistrucks, I'll turn her over.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
Here we go, Connie Brooks the control tower, Connie Brooks
to control Flower. Please give it the clearance. We're taking
off of the next airport. Over and out and across
the river and into the trees.
Speaker 8 (05:07):
Yeah, here we are, Miss Brooks from your place to Madison.
I ain't exactly four minutes.
Speaker 7 (05:12):
And nine seconds.
Speaker 8 (05:14):
See, miss Brooks, you look a little blue?
Speaker 7 (05:17):
What's wrong? Nothing's wrong? What color do you get when
you hold your breath for four minutes and nine I
didn't mean to frighten you.
Speaker 9 (05:29):
Oh, mister Conklin just got out of his car up ahead.
Speaker 7 (05:32):
I better part somewhere else.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
I'll talk to.
Speaker 7 (05:41):
You about your driving later on, young man.
Speaker 5 (05:44):
Right now, I've got something to take up with our
beloved principles, how camus Brooks?
Speaker 7 (05:48):
See, good morning, mister Conklin. May I speak with you
for a moment.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
You'll have to wait until I look over this rear
thunder of mind, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
My dear wife used the Kai yesterday and.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Backed it out of the garage in her customary side
saddle manner women drivers. Yeah, it will cost me ten
dollars to have that fender straightened out.
Speaker 7 (06:13):
Oh not necessarily, mister contlor.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
You could put it into the school shop and the
boys will be happy to fix it for nothing.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Just what I was thinking.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
The boys in the school shop will be happy to
fix it for nothing. Now, what is it you wanted
to talk to me about?
Speaker 5 (06:26):
The reckless driving among our teenage citizens. The local police
force just can't cope with it alone. Now, what I
had in mind was a student police force with a
farty to discipline themselves.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
A student police force. But whoever heard of such a thing.
It's preposterous, No.
Speaker 7 (06:41):
It isn't, mister Contler.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
The kids would be ashamed to be caught driving recklessly
by their own friends and in conjunction with the police force.
I think we should have a driving class at Madison.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
You mean you are.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
Actually proposing that we teach our students to drive an
automobile during the regular school hours, those who need it.
Speaker 7 (06:57):
Yes, we could. Oh, look who just got to school.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
It's mister Boynton, isn't it.
Speaker 7 (07:03):
But he's behind you. How could you tell.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
By the way your eyeballs spun around in their socket.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
I always do that when I get something in my eye,
especially him.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Good morning, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 10 (07:17):
Mister sir, there's something I want to.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Suggest to you in the moment. Boynton.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
First, I'd like you to listen to an idea I
just had. Yes, sir, what would you think of our
instituting in this school a student police force. A student
police force exactly one with authority to discipline each and
every offender among the student body.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Say that sounds like a fine idea. You really like it?
I love it.
Speaker 7 (07:41):
I hate it. That was only part of me.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Please, I can hear what mister Boynton has to say
to me.
Speaker 10 (07:50):
Well, sir, it was just that I read where Jason
brill Over at Clay City has organized a driving class
for the students, and I think we should follow suit.
Speaker 7 (07:58):
Some days it doesn't pay to get out.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Of bed driving class.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Now that's what I call a sterling suggestion, an extremely
original thought.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Point in it is with a great deal of pleasure.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Therefore that I hear by a point you, Madison's driving instructor,
you will give your first lesson at two o'clock today.
Speaker 10 (08:16):
Oh but mister Conklin, I can't give any lessons today.
I got too full of schedule. Besides, this isn't a
job for just one person. From what I've read of
other schools, it's usually operated by a team of teachers.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I see, Well, who else should we get? Or how
about miss Brooks here?
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Miss Brooks Poynton, are you suggesting that we have a
woman teacher? Are already reckless drivers? How to operate a
motor vehicle in safety. Isn't that like carrying coals to Newcastle?
Speaker 7 (08:42):
I don't mind, I'll wear gloves.
Speaker 10 (08:46):
I've driven with miss Brooks many times, sir, and I
can assure you if she's extremely confident behind the wheel.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
I suppose there's nothing else we can do.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
So, against my better judgment, I hear by appoint you
one of the instructors, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
Oh, you won't be sorry, mister concland, I'll make you
glad you picked me. You'll see, I'll do a great
job of these kids. I'll get them right in line.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Yes, sir, step back, Miss Brooks, you're fogging my glasses.
Speaker 5 (09:11):
Now for the head student traffic officer, I'd like to
submit the name of Walter Denton.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Walter Denton, but I've seen that idiot drive.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
To propose Walter Denton as a police officer is devoid
of any spark of intelligence.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
This pross.
Speaker 7 (09:26):
But you're wrong, mister Conklin.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
Don't you see this is a perfect example of criminal psychology.
By making the worst defender a law enforcement agent, he
is automatically eliminated as a reckless driver.
Speaker 10 (09:37):
That does seem to be a pretty logical argument, Sir.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Wait, wait, wait a minute, both of you.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
While you were talking, I was thinking, why don't we
appoint as head of the student police force somebody like Walter.
Speaker 7 (09:47):
Denton idiot driver?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Don't you get it?
Speaker 4 (09:54):
By making the worst defender a law enforcement agent is
automatically eliminated as a reckless driver.
Speaker 10 (10:00):
Mister Conklin, that's a stroke of sheer genius. Let me
shake your hands sir here.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Well, miss Brooks, do you care to add anything to
my little plan?
Speaker 7 (10:10):
Yes, sir, I would, But there's one thing that prevents.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
No. What's there?
Speaker 7 (10:14):
I can't seem to get my words out of your mouth?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Rush your teeth with cold gate cock get cleans.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Your breath, water toothpaste teeth, Coldgate toothpaste, water toothpaste, cold
Gate devil cream clean your breath while it cleans your teeth.
And the cold gateway stop tooth decay best. More than
two years research showed the cold Gateway of brushing teeth
right after eating help stop more decay for more people
(10:53):
than ever before reported in dartfa's history. Yes, the cold
Gateway stop tooth decay best by.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Than any other home method of oral hygiene.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
No other denifris, ammoniated or not has proof of such results.
And you should know that Colgates, while not mentioned by name,
was the one and only toothpaste used in the research
on tooth decay recently reported in Reader's Digest.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
So always follow the cold gateway to clean your breath
while you clean your teeth and stop tooth decay best.
Crash your teeth for cold Gates call gate Pa cleans
your breath.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
What a toothpaste Quata cleaner, and the coal gateway stops
tooth decay best.
Speaker 5 (11:42):
Well, right after lunch period, mister Boynton had to go
down to the biology supply house. I wanted him to
stay and help me with the driving lessons, but he
said he couldn't afford to miss a great opportunity. It
seems the supply house had just received a rare shipment
by airmail. As I recall, they were either English and
worms or Anglish ingleworms. In any event, I had to
(12:04):
stop in mister Conklin's office for further instructions.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Well, Miss Brooks, as faculty advisor to the new student
police Force, you'll be pleased to know that mister Stone,
the head of the Board of Education, is one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Behind my plan.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Good he had one suggestion moreover, which I believe to
be sound. The forcible function as a policing agency for
both students and faculty. If a teacher is caught violating
a traffic law in this area, he or she will
be punished accordingly.
Speaker 7 (12:30):
That sounds fair, thank you.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Take me.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
Now, I have before me but a list of possible
penalties for the guilty ones. As you know, we can't
find the students, and it would be inequitable to impose
cash finds upon the teachers.
Speaker 7 (12:43):
Inequitable and uncollectable.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
So for the first defender, I have decided that the
penalty will be mowing the lawn every day for a
month and cleaning all.
Speaker 7 (12:55):
The windows, all the windows in the school.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
I know all the windows in my house.
Speaker 7 (13:02):
This is cool project.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
The board would never stand for anybody doing your personal
work warden, I mean, mister con.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
On second thought, nothing succeeds like good old KP.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Guess that's it.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
When we really want to make an example of someone,
we'll do what we did in the army. We'll hustle
him up to the cafeteria, hand him a mop, and
say get with it, Matilda.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Make those flaws shies.
Speaker 7 (13:31):
What brands of the wax. Were you in.
Speaker 5 (13:36):
Driving class, mister Conklin. There's one minor detail we've overlooked.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Watched that miss broke.
Speaker 5 (13:41):
We don't have an automobile. It'll take quite a bit
of time for the board to provide a vehicle for us.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Well borrow one temporarily, all.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
Right, I will, mister Conklin. May I borrow your car
for the driving lesson today?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
My car? You must be joking.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
You don't think I didn't trust my automobile to a
gang of scatterbrain bumbling jitterbugs, do you?
Speaker 5 (14:03):
But Sir Jason Brill donated his car to Clay City
High Jason Brille, Yes, sir, and every paper in the
city ran his picture and a nice story about him.
Speaker 11 (14:14):
The silver one on the end is the Ignition key.
Speaker 7 (14:28):
Stretch stretch And I want to talk to you?
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Who wants to talk to me?
Speaker 7 (14:34):
Huh?
Speaker 9 (14:35):
Don't let the black turtle next sweater in the pilots
goggles fool you.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
It's me water for goodness sake. What are you dressed
up like that for water?
Speaker 7 (14:44):
Going to a maxi arride?
Speaker 9 (14:48):
No, I've just been commissioned captain of the Madison High
Safety Patrol.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
You kidding. When do you go overseas?
Speaker 7 (14:57):
It's a local office. I'm head of the student police force,
you see. I just got my orders from the Board
of Education.
Speaker 9 (15:04):
Mister Stone himself told me to be sure and make
an example out of any traffic violators. That includes teachers too.
It's a big responsibility, Stretch.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
You know something, Water, I can see a change in
you already. You can sure you got jam on your
face instead of peanut butter.
Speaker 9 (15:23):
Sometimes I wonder how we got to be such good friends.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Look who's coming, Water, it's miss Brooks.
Speaker 9 (15:30):
She hasn't seen me since I put this black outfit on.
I'll slip the goggles over my eyes and see if
she recognizes me.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
Okay, I am Miss Brooks. Look who's here? Recognize him?
Speaker 7 (15:39):
I know him anywhere. Baron von Richtoffin. No, man, it's
me Walter Denton.
Speaker 9 (15:46):
This is the outfit I'm gonna wear for tracking down
traffic criminals.
Speaker 7 (15:49):
Well, I've gotta get ready to go on patroll, Miss Brooks.
Will you excuse me? Of course, Baron Walter.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Captain Denton at.
Speaker 8 (15:58):
Ease, my man.
Speaker 7 (15:59):
Well, see if the line Miss.
Speaker 5 (16:00):
P reps, I'm looking forward to it. Well, Stretch, mister
Conklin send his car over here to be repaired. Could
you tell me where it is?
Speaker 4 (16:07):
What's right through? That's the one I just finished working
on you, Yes, ma'am. I straightened out a fender for him,
which as good as.
Speaker 7 (16:13):
New now, how fine.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Also, I had an extra hour to kill in the
shop so under the hood to fix up mister Conklin's clutch,
re timed his distributor and checked his ignition system.
Speaker 7 (16:22):
But I've got to give a lesson in that car.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Well, don't worry about that, miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
What I'd done couldn't make too much difference, Not when
I had to work in the dark like I did.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
In the dog the bulb burned out in my work light.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
I did the whole job in total blackness.
Speaker 7 (16:36):
But why didn't you put another bold in the worklight?
Speaker 4 (16:39):
My motto is, don't tackle no new trouble till you
conquer your old trouble. I gotta tell you about a
few simple changes I made in the mechanism.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
I discovered them after I got the light fixed.
Speaker 7 (16:51):
I wish I knew more about self hypnosis. Go on stretch.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
Well, first of all, to let out the clutch to
use the brake pedal instead.
Speaker 7 (17:00):
That's a pretty simple change.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
All I have to do is put my right shoe
on my left foot.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
Well, I jazzed up the motor so it can really
dig out only use a hand throttle. The gas pedal
now acts as the brakes.
Speaker 7 (17:14):
Reversed and the glove compartment.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
No, ma'am, I eliminated reverse and also first and second,
and I fixed the ignition so you have to turn
it on from under the hood. That way, nobody can
steal the car.
Speaker 5 (17:28):
Who'd wanted before I take this flying saucer out of here?
Speaker 7 (17:34):
Are you quite certain I won't have to steer from
the back seat?
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Gosh, normous, Brooks, that would be dangerous stretch.
Speaker 5 (17:42):
Remind me to mark your next test paper with an
empty fountain pen.
Speaker 7 (17:55):
All right, kids, quiet down.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
Now we've completed our basic blackboard work on courtesy of
the road, and now we're going to have a practical
demonstration out here on the street.
Speaker 7 (18:06):
Harriet Conklin, I believe your hand was up first.
Speaker 9 (18:09):
Yes, miss Brooks, I'm very anxious to learn how to drive.
Of course, I don't know how Daddy'll feel about it.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
It shouldn't take long to find out he's standing right
at your elbow.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
How observant? What is all this, Harriet?
Speaker 9 (18:23):
I've wanted to learn for a long time, Daddy, mother
says she thinks I should.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Oh she does, well. Won't that be bully for me?
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Mine will be the only car in town being driven
by two tender assassinies.
Speaker 9 (18:41):
Please, Daddy, I'll be very careful, and miss Brooks is
here to teach me exactly.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I refuse to place my own pleash and blood in jeopardy.
Speaker 5 (18:50):
But mister Conklin, Harriet has just as much right to
take advantage of this class as any of the other kids.
Speaker 9 (18:55):
You said yourself, Daddy, But this school is run on
democratic principles. Please let me look.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Oh all right, but you're not going to learn from
Miss Brooks. I personally will give you your first lesson.
Speaker 8 (19:06):
Get in, Harriet, what Daddy what Miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Your precious Miss Brooks can climb in with us.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Come on, maybe I can teach you to operate this
vehicle and still eliminate some of the natural female driving instincts.
Speaker 5 (19:20):
Before you start, mister Conklan, the ignition is on, but
I think you should know. Get yes, sir, Miss Conklan,
I'd like to explain something about the mechanism of this car.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
It's got a new Can you want to explain something
to me about my own car?
Speaker 7 (19:41):
Now? That is what I call rich?
Speaker 2 (19:54):
What are you laughing at?
Speaker 5 (19:57):
I guess I'm just a copycat.
Speaker 7 (20:00):
Let's get started, daddy.
Speaker 5 (20:02):
I'm anxious to get the principal down path. When we
get started, I know one principle you'll.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Have down.
Speaker 4 (20:10):
And lady, lady, stop the chattering please, we're about to begin.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Now.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
First, Harriet, to stop the car. I press this little
button on the dashboard.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
Suddenly like this, it didn't start, No, but all the
lights went on.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
M I'll try it again. Ah, there we are. Now
I'll just shift it into first year. What's this The
clutch won't move?
Speaker 5 (20:50):
Course not.
Speaker 7 (20:51):
You got to step on the brake.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Step on the brake.
Speaker 7 (20:56):
To start my car.
Speaker 5 (20:58):
You depressed that brake pedal, Harriet, let's surprise your daddy.
Speaker 8 (21:01):
Okay, here goes.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
What happens?
Speaker 7 (21:07):
What happened once?
Speaker 8 (21:08):
Where you're driving?
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Daddy.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
We're going fifty miles an hour and I haven't shifted.
Speaker 7 (21:15):
Into high.
Speaker 6 (21:22):
Complin.
Speaker 7 (21:22):
There isn't any first or second gear.
Speaker 9 (21:25):
Oh, isn't any first or second Boy, this car can
really dig.
Speaker 10 (21:30):
Out, Daddy.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
One more turn like that and they'll dig us out
of the upholstery.
Speaker 10 (21:37):
This is awful.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
We're at the mercy of this steel monster. I've got
to stop it.
Speaker 7 (21:41):
I would if I were you. Just step on the
gas pedal. It's the gas pedal.
Speaker 8 (21:46):
You just went through a red light, Daddy.
Speaker 7 (21:48):
Now you're on the wrong side of the street. Please, sir,
dam you're put down on the gas pedal.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
She's taking leave of her senses.
Speaker 7 (21:56):
We've got a maniac in the car.
Speaker 8 (21:57):
With calm down, Daddy. Maybe you ought to turn.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Off the motor, the motive. Yes, yes, that's what I do.
Turn off the motor. But the ignition switch.
Speaker 7 (22:09):
Where's the ignition switch that's up front under the hood.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Oh good, I just step out and I'll walk up.
Speaker 7 (22:18):
To the there's.
Speaker 8 (22:25):
A street car. It's all right, Miss Brooks, passing it
on the left.
Speaker 7 (22:32):
I know it's coming towards us.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
There's only one way to stop this juggernaut.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
I try to ease it over the sidewalk up ahead
and bring it to stop against one of those hedges.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Oh, here's a hedge that looks nice and bushing.
Speaker 8 (22:58):
What do you know?
Speaker 7 (22:59):
They trimmed.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
V Thomas Brooks returns in just a moment. But first, dream.
Speaker 9 (23:17):
Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Tonight, Yes, tonight, show him how much lovelier your hair
can look after a luster cream shampoo. Luster Cream world's
finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives you
Kdoma's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lameline better than.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
A soap, better than a liquid. Luster cream is an
ady cream shampoo.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Leave's hair three ways lovelier, fragrantly clean, free of loose dandr,
glistening with sheen, soft, manageable even in hardest water. Luster
cream lathers instantly, so gentle luster cream is wonderful, well
even for children's hair. Tonight, Yes, tonight, try luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 9 (24:06):
Dream Girl, dream Girl.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Beautiful Luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
You owe your crowning glryo A lost a cream.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Shampoo, and now once again here is our Miss Brooks.
Speaker 7 (24:25):
Well.
Speaker 5 (24:26):
As soon as we determined that no one was injured,
Harriet tried to console her father about the condition.
Speaker 7 (24:31):
Of his car.
Speaker 9 (24:32):
The insurance company will take care of your car, Daddy.
They may even get you a brand new one.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Oh, Harriet, it could have been a lot worse.
Speaker 5 (24:40):
Couldn't it turn your head slowly to the left, mister Conklin,
stop in the name of the law.
Speaker 7 (24:55):
Now that's what I call a timely command.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Quiet Water didn't, so it is well, you just keep
your nose out of this.
Speaker 7 (25:03):
Denton, you will kindly refer to me as Captain Denton.
Speaker 9 (25:07):
You forget, sir, I was commissioned by your superior officer,
mister Stone head of the.
Speaker 7 (25:12):
Board of Education.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
But there's no reason for him to hear this.
Speaker 8 (25:16):
Not unless your council trant.
Speaker 5 (25:18):
Nice word, Captain Denton, and may I borrow your pencil, please.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Sir, my pencil? Oh yes, yes, of course you are, Captain.
We were just driving along at a normal rate of speed.
Speaker 7 (25:32):
But suddenly spell psychopathic.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Psychopathic p S Y C H O p A P
H I s Now, you don't have to enter too
specific a report about it.
Speaker 9 (25:43):
Driving down main Street like a psychopathic idiots?
Speaker 7 (25:49):
Why the h oh.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Officer Denton. Couldn't we talk this over? Walter Walter, my
boy son.
Speaker 7 (26:06):
I'm sorry, mister Conklin.
Speaker 9 (26:08):
It's extremely difficult for me in this instance, but I
must be ruthless.
Speaker 7 (26:12):
It is difficult for mister Conklin. Walter's naturally very rude.
Here you are, sir.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
Ticket, Oh, where where my glasses fell off when we
stopped this booby trap?
Speaker 7 (26:23):
I can here, I'll read it for you, Miss Conklin.
It says for offenses too offensive to mention.
Speaker 5 (26:29):
Starting this evening, the prisoner will serve thirty days on KP.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
KP me but I can, I won't, I won't. Something
must be done about this, But don't sit there, Mis Brooks.
Speaker 7 (26:42):
Tell me what I can do.
Speaker 5 (26:43):
Pick up your mock Matilda. Those floors must shine tonight.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
The next week to one other artist bookshel lot to
you by lust your cream temple, but doc Clamorous for
ressible and Colgate Dental cream to clean your breath while
you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Varden, is produced by Larry Burns,
written by Al Lewis, with the music of Wilbrahatch. Mister
Boynton is played by Jeff Chandler, Mister Complin by Gail Gordon.
Others in the night's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Crannar,
Gloria macmillan and Leonard Smith.
Speaker 12 (27:24):
You want a beauty soap for a beauty bath and
your bath becomes the beauty bath when you change to
proper cleansing with palm Olive soap. For bathing with this
beauty soap brings you the full beautifying effects of palm
Olive's mild and gentle leather, proved by doctors to bring
most women lovelier complexions in just fourteen days.
Speaker 13 (27:44):
Bath Size palm Olive is designed to give you everything
you need for all over beauty care. Fragrance for daintiness,
mildness for loveliness, purity for gentleness, big bath size for thriftiness.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
So get big bath size palm Olives. So my wild,
so pure, so right for all of you.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
If you like mysteries that are full of chuckles as chills,
be sure to hear Mystery and Missus North every Tuesday
over the same network, and don't miss the exciting and laughable.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Adventures of these amateur detectiques. Here mister and Missus North
every Tuesday night.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Envy with us again next week at the same time
for another comedy episode of our Miss Brooks Problem on speaking.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Stay tuned now for Jack Benny. This is CBS, a
Monday broadcasting st
Colgate Dental cream to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help stop tooth decay and bluster cream Shampoo, Poissant,
Glamorous caressible Hair.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Bring you Our Miss Brooks starring Eve Varden's.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
If I Must Again, another comedy episode of Our Miss
Brooks under the direction of al lewis Well.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
There's no doubt about it.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
The hopped up geloffe has replaced the tandem bicycle in
most of our high schools, and occasionally reckless driving poses
a problem to the faculty. Our Miss Brooks, who teaches
English at Madison High became acquainted with this problem last week.
Speaker 5 (00:40):
It was on Tuesday, to be exact, and I became
intimately acquainted with the problem. As I was crossing the street,
a wild eyed kid bore down on me and something
that looked like a torpedo with four wheels and a
raccoon tail. If I hadn't been wearing my gym shoes,
I would now be welded to the grille of a
Model Ais. At breakfast Wednesday morning, I discovered that Missus Davis,
(01:03):
my landlady, who was concerned about this problem too.
Speaker 6 (01:07):
I tell you, Connie, it's getting so dangerous that the
body doesn't want to walk in the street anymore, not.
Speaker 7 (01:13):
If it has a head on it. That doesn't.
Speaker 6 (01:17):
The four traffic cops have their hands full.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
Well, the police can't correct this recklessness by themselves. We've
got to do something about it in our schools. Say,
how do you like this for an idea?
Speaker 6 (01:27):
Wonderful, Connie, it's just what this town.
Speaker 7 (01:32):
But I haven't told it to you yet.
Speaker 6 (01:33):
Oh, I'm so sorry. I've been seeing a lot of
my sister Angela lately. She's so absent minded.
Speaker 7 (01:41):
Poor dear. Yes, I know, missus Davis, but please listen
to this.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
I'm going to suggest to mister Conklin that we form
our own student police force. It would be made up
of students who drive their own cars, and they'd have
the power to arrest anyone who violated traffic laws.
Speaker 7 (01:56):
That sounds good. It's just like a self government is
It's more like self preservation.
Speaker 6 (02:03):
Another thing you should do is to start a class
in driving at Madison.
Speaker 5 (02:07):
You might have something there, Missus Davis. You know Play
City High has a driving class.
Speaker 6 (02:11):
I know it, and their principal, Jason Brill is mister
Conklin's arch rival, why he even donated his own color
for the class.
Speaker 7 (02:19):
I remember reading about it.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
Mister Conklin should certainly go for my ideas, if only
to show he's as progressive minded as mister Brill. Oh
that's Walter, demon, he's driving me down to school. I'll
just be a minute, Walter, see the night.
Speaker 7 (02:35):
Missus Davis.
Speaker 6 (02:36):
All right, Connie, now don't forget to tell mister Conklan
your ideas about the student police force and the driving class.
Speaker 7 (02:42):
I won't.
Speaker 8 (02:43):
And remember our safety motto?
Speaker 7 (02:45):
Which one is that?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Which one is what?
Speaker 7 (02:51):
Our safety motto?
Speaker 6 (02:52):
Oh that's a dandy one.
Speaker 7 (02:58):
Yes, it should catch our in no time. Welcomebye again,
missus David.
Speaker 8 (03:03):
Yes, indeed, good morning, Walter.
Speaker 9 (03:08):
Good morning to you, oh fairst of the faculty. Did
you notice anything different today?
Speaker 7 (03:17):
Different? Let's see.
Speaker 5 (03:19):
Oh yes, you've got jam on your face instead of peanut, Butter.
Speaker 8 (03:24):
I don't mean about me, I mean about my car.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
I take a good look. Oh, for heaven's sake, who
stole your fenders? And one of those outlandish pipes sticking
out for huh?
Speaker 9 (03:34):
I know you're not very mechanical minded, miss Brooks, so
I'll make it very simple.
Speaker 7 (03:39):
Stretched noodgrass and I hopped it up and out of
school shop at school.
Speaker 9 (03:42):
You see, first of all, we dropped the chassis springs.
We put in a lightweight camshaft, two Windfield down draft pots,
and a four port Riley super Speed high compression head.
Speaker 7 (03:52):
Do you follow? Not quite?
Speaker 5 (03:54):
What did you say after you said, I'll make it
very simple.
Speaker 8 (04:01):
Just hop in and.
Speaker 9 (04:03):
I'll show you how this heap of heavenly hot iron
can dig out.
Speaker 8 (04:07):
Hey, come, famous trucks.
Speaker 7 (04:09):
Snug as a bug in the engine room.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
Of a destroyers just sort of tangled up with these
pipes and valves. But what's this strange thing sticking out
of the engine that looks like.
Speaker 7 (04:18):
A Thermist jug.
Speaker 9 (04:20):
It's a Thermost jug. I stabbed my lunch to the
engine because mother.
Speaker 7 (04:26):
Likes me to have a hot and meal these days.
Speaker 5 (04:29):
Well, nothing like a nice Bolognian battery acid sandwich.
Speaker 7 (04:34):
Let's get it started, Walder.
Speaker 8 (04:35):
If hang on, Mistrucks, I'll turn her over.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
Here we go, Connie Brooks the control tower, Connie Brooks
to control Flower. Please give it the clearance. We're taking
off of the next airport. Over and out and across
the river and into the trees.
Speaker 8 (05:07):
Yeah, here we are, Miss Brooks from your place to Madison.
I ain't exactly four minutes.
Speaker 7 (05:12):
And nine seconds.
Speaker 8 (05:14):
See, miss Brooks, you look a little blue?
Speaker 7 (05:17):
What's wrong? Nothing's wrong? What color do you get when
you hold your breath for four minutes and nine I
didn't mean to frighten you.
Speaker 9 (05:29):
Oh, mister Conklin just got out of his car up ahead.
Speaker 7 (05:32):
I better part somewhere else.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
I'll talk to.
Speaker 7 (05:41):
You about your driving later on, young man.
Speaker 5 (05:44):
Right now, I've got something to take up with our
beloved principles, how camus Brooks?
Speaker 7 (05:48):
See, good morning, mister Conklin. May I speak with you
for a moment.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
You'll have to wait until I look over this rear
thunder of mind, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
My dear wife used the Kai yesterday and.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Backed it out of the garage in her customary side
saddle manner women drivers. Yeah, it will cost me ten
dollars to have that fender straightened out.
Speaker 7 (06:13):
Oh not necessarily, mister contlor.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
You could put it into the school shop and the
boys will be happy to fix it for nothing.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Just what I was thinking.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
The boys in the school shop will be happy to
fix it for nothing. Now, what is it you wanted
to talk to me about?
Speaker 5 (06:26):
The reckless driving among our teenage citizens. The local police
force just can't cope with it alone. Now, what I
had in mind was a student police force with a
farty to discipline themselves.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
A student police force. But whoever heard of such a thing.
It's preposterous, No.
Speaker 7 (06:41):
It isn't, mister Contler.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
The kids would be ashamed to be caught driving recklessly
by their own friends and in conjunction with the police force.
I think we should have a driving class at Madison.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
You mean you are.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
Actually proposing that we teach our students to drive an
automobile during the regular school hours, those who need it.
Speaker 7 (06:57):
Yes, we could. Oh, look who just got to school.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
It's mister Boynton, isn't it.
Speaker 7 (07:03):
But he's behind you. How could you tell.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
By the way your eyeballs spun around in their socket.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
I always do that when I get something in my eye,
especially him.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Good morning, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 10 (07:17):
Mister sir, there's something I want to.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Suggest to you in the moment. Boynton.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
First, I'd like you to listen to an idea I
just had. Yes, sir, what would you think of our
instituting in this school a student police force. A student
police force exactly one with authority to discipline each and
every offender among the student body.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Say that sounds like a fine idea. You really like it?
I love it.
Speaker 7 (07:41):
I hate it. That was only part of me.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Please, I can hear what mister Boynton has to say
to me.
Speaker 10 (07:50):
Well, sir, it was just that I read where Jason
brill Over at Clay City has organized a driving class
for the students, and I think we should follow suit.
Speaker 7 (07:58):
Some days it doesn't pay to get out.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Of bed driving class.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Now that's what I call a sterling suggestion, an extremely
original thought.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Point in it is with a great deal of pleasure.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Therefore that I hear by a point you, Madison's driving instructor,
you will give your first lesson at two o'clock today.
Speaker 10 (08:16):
Oh but mister Conklin, I can't give any lessons today.
I got too full of schedule. Besides, this isn't a
job for just one person. From what I've read of
other schools, it's usually operated by a team of teachers.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I see, Well, who else should we get? Or how
about miss Brooks here?
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Miss Brooks Poynton, are you suggesting that we have a
woman teacher? Are already reckless drivers? How to operate a
motor vehicle in safety. Isn't that like carrying coals to Newcastle?
Speaker 7 (08:42):
I don't mind, I'll wear gloves.
Speaker 10 (08:46):
I've driven with miss Brooks many times, sir, and I
can assure you if she's extremely confident behind the wheel.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
I suppose there's nothing else we can do.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
So, against my better judgment, I hear by appoint you
one of the instructors, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
Oh, you won't be sorry, mister concland, I'll make you
glad you picked me. You'll see, I'll do a great
job of these kids. I'll get them right in line.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Yes, sir, step back, Miss Brooks, you're fogging my glasses.
Speaker 5 (09:11):
Now for the head student traffic officer, I'd like to
submit the name of Walter Denton.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Walter Denton, but I've seen that idiot drive.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
To propose Walter Denton as a police officer is devoid
of any spark of intelligence.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
This pross.
Speaker 7 (09:26):
But you're wrong, mister Conklin.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
Don't you see this is a perfect example of criminal psychology.
By making the worst defender a law enforcement agent, he
is automatically eliminated as a reckless driver.
Speaker 10 (09:37):
That does seem to be a pretty logical argument, Sir.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Wait, wait, wait a minute, both of you.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
While you were talking, I was thinking, why don't we
appoint as head of the student police force somebody like Walter.
Speaker 7 (09:47):
Denton idiot driver?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Don't you get it?
Speaker 4 (09:54):
By making the worst defender a law enforcement agent is
automatically eliminated as a reckless driver.
Speaker 10 (10:00):
Mister Conklin, that's a stroke of sheer genius. Let me
shake your hands sir here.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Well, miss Brooks, do you care to add anything to
my little plan?
Speaker 7 (10:10):
Yes, sir, I would, But there's one thing that prevents.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
No. What's there?
Speaker 7 (10:14):
I can't seem to get my words out of your mouth?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Rush your teeth with cold gate cock get cleans.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Your breath, water toothpaste teeth, Coldgate toothpaste, water toothpaste, cold
Gate devil cream clean your breath while it cleans your teeth.
And the cold gateway stop tooth decay best. More than
two years research showed the cold Gateway of brushing teeth
right after eating help stop more decay for more people
(10:53):
than ever before reported in dartfa's history. Yes, the cold
Gateway stop tooth decay best by.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Than any other home method of oral hygiene.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
No other denifris, ammoniated or not has proof of such results.
And you should know that Colgates, while not mentioned by name,
was the one and only toothpaste used in the research
on tooth decay recently reported in Reader's Digest.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
So always follow the cold gateway to clean your breath
while you clean your teeth and stop tooth decay best.
Crash your teeth for cold Gates call gate Pa cleans
your breath.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
What a toothpaste Quata cleaner, and the coal gateway stops
tooth decay best.
Speaker 5 (11:42):
Well, right after lunch period, mister Boynton had to go
down to the biology supply house. I wanted him to
stay and help me with the driving lessons, but he
said he couldn't afford to miss a great opportunity. It
seems the supply house had just received a rare shipment
by airmail. As I recall, they were either English and
worms or Anglish ingleworms. In any event, I had to
(12:04):
stop in mister Conklin's office for further instructions.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Well, Miss Brooks, as faculty advisor to the new student
police Force, you'll be pleased to know that mister Stone,
the head of the Board of Education, is one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Behind my plan.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Good he had one suggestion moreover, which I believe to
be sound. The forcible function as a policing agency for
both students and faculty. If a teacher is caught violating
a traffic law in this area, he or she will
be punished accordingly.
Speaker 7 (12:30):
That sounds fair, thank you.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Take me.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
Now, I have before me but a list of possible
penalties for the guilty ones. As you know, we can't
find the students, and it would be inequitable to impose
cash finds upon the teachers.
Speaker 7 (12:43):
Inequitable and uncollectable.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
So for the first defender, I have decided that the
penalty will be mowing the lawn every day for a
month and cleaning all.
Speaker 7 (12:55):
The windows, all the windows in the school.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
I know all the windows in my house.
Speaker 7 (13:02):
This is cool project.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
The board would never stand for anybody doing your personal
work warden, I mean, mister con.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
On second thought, nothing succeeds like good old KP.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Guess that's it.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
When we really want to make an example of someone,
we'll do what we did in the army. We'll hustle
him up to the cafeteria, hand him a mop, and
say get with it, Matilda.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Make those flaws shies.
Speaker 7 (13:31):
What brands of the wax. Were you in.
Speaker 5 (13:36):
Driving class, mister Conklin. There's one minor detail we've overlooked.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Watched that miss broke.
Speaker 5 (13:41):
We don't have an automobile. It'll take quite a bit
of time for the board to provide a vehicle for us.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Well borrow one temporarily, all.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
Right, I will, mister Conklin. May I borrow your car
for the driving lesson today?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
My car? You must be joking.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
You don't think I didn't trust my automobile to a
gang of scatterbrain bumbling jitterbugs, do you?
Speaker 5 (14:03):
But Sir Jason Brill donated his car to Clay City
High Jason Brille, Yes, sir, and every paper in the
city ran his picture and a nice story about him.
Speaker 11 (14:14):
The silver one on the end is the Ignition key.
Speaker 7 (14:28):
Stretch stretch And I want to talk to you?
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Who wants to talk to me?
Speaker 7 (14:34):
Huh?
Speaker 9 (14:35):
Don't let the black turtle next sweater in the pilots
goggles fool you.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
It's me water for goodness sake. What are you dressed
up like that for water?
Speaker 7 (14:44):
Going to a maxi arride?
Speaker 9 (14:48):
No, I've just been commissioned captain of the Madison High
Safety Patrol.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
You kidding. When do you go overseas?
Speaker 7 (14:57):
It's a local office. I'm head of the student police force,
you see. I just got my orders from the Board
of Education.
Speaker 9 (15:04):
Mister Stone himself told me to be sure and make
an example out of any traffic violators. That includes teachers too.
It's a big responsibility, Stretch.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
You know something, Water, I can see a change in
you already. You can sure you got jam on your
face instead of peanut butter.
Speaker 9 (15:23):
Sometimes I wonder how we got to be such good friends.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Look who's coming, Water, it's miss Brooks.
Speaker 9 (15:30):
She hasn't seen me since I put this black outfit on.
I'll slip the goggles over my eyes and see if
she recognizes me.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
Okay, I am Miss Brooks. Look who's here? Recognize him?
Speaker 7 (15:39):
I know him anywhere. Baron von Richtoffin. No, man, it's
me Walter Denton.
Speaker 9 (15:46):
This is the outfit I'm gonna wear for tracking down
traffic criminals.
Speaker 7 (15:49):
Well, I've gotta get ready to go on patroll, Miss Brooks.
Will you excuse me? Of course, Baron Walter.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Captain Denton at.
Speaker 8 (15:58):
Ease, my man.
Speaker 7 (15:59):
Well, see if the line Miss.
Speaker 5 (16:00):
P reps, I'm looking forward to it. Well, Stretch, mister
Conklin send his car over here to be repaired. Could
you tell me where it is?
Speaker 4 (16:07):
What's right through? That's the one I just finished working
on you, Yes, ma'am. I straightened out a fender for him,
which as good as.
Speaker 7 (16:13):
New now, how fine.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Also, I had an extra hour to kill in the
shop so under the hood to fix up mister Conklin's clutch,
re timed his distributor and checked his ignition system.
Speaker 7 (16:22):
But I've got to give a lesson in that car.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Well, don't worry about that, miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
What I'd done couldn't make too much difference, Not when
I had to work in the dark like I did.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
In the dog the bulb burned out in my work light.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
I did the whole job in total blackness.
Speaker 7 (16:36):
But why didn't you put another bold in the worklight?
Speaker 4 (16:39):
My motto is, don't tackle no new trouble till you
conquer your old trouble. I gotta tell you about a
few simple changes I made in the mechanism.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
I discovered them after I got the light fixed.
Speaker 7 (16:51):
I wish I knew more about self hypnosis. Go on stretch.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
Well, first of all, to let out the clutch to
use the brake pedal instead.
Speaker 7 (17:00):
That's a pretty simple change.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
All I have to do is put my right shoe
on my left foot.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
Well, I jazzed up the motor so it can really
dig out only use a hand throttle. The gas pedal
now acts as the brakes.
Speaker 7 (17:14):
Reversed and the glove compartment.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
No, ma'am, I eliminated reverse and also first and second,
and I fixed the ignition so you have to turn
it on from under the hood. That way, nobody can
steal the car.
Speaker 5 (17:28):
Who'd wanted before I take this flying saucer out of here?
Speaker 7 (17:34):
Are you quite certain I won't have to steer from
the back seat?
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Gosh, normous, Brooks, that would be dangerous stretch.
Speaker 5 (17:42):
Remind me to mark your next test paper with an
empty fountain pen.
Speaker 7 (17:55):
All right, kids, quiet down.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
Now we've completed our basic blackboard work on courtesy of
the road, and now we're going to have a practical
demonstration out here on the street.
Speaker 7 (18:06):
Harriet Conklin, I believe your hand was up first.
Speaker 9 (18:09):
Yes, miss Brooks, I'm very anxious to learn how to drive.
Of course, I don't know how Daddy'll feel about it.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
It shouldn't take long to find out he's standing right
at your elbow.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
How observant? What is all this, Harriet?
Speaker 9 (18:23):
I've wanted to learn for a long time, Daddy, mother
says she thinks I should.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Oh she does, well. Won't that be bully for me?
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Mine will be the only car in town being driven
by two tender assassinies.
Speaker 9 (18:41):
Please, Daddy, I'll be very careful, and miss Brooks is
here to teach me exactly.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I refuse to place my own pleash and blood in jeopardy.
Speaker 5 (18:50):
But mister Conklin, Harriet has just as much right to
take advantage of this class as any of the other kids.
Speaker 9 (18:55):
You said yourself, Daddy, But this school is run on
democratic principles. Please let me look.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Oh all right, but you're not going to learn from
Miss Brooks. I personally will give you your first lesson.
Speaker 8 (19:06):
Get in, Harriet, what Daddy what Miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Your precious Miss Brooks can climb in with us.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Come on, maybe I can teach you to operate this
vehicle and still eliminate some of the natural female driving instincts.
Speaker 5 (19:20):
Before you start, mister Conklan, the ignition is on, but
I think you should know. Get yes, sir, Miss Conklan,
I'd like to explain something about the mechanism of this car.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
It's got a new Can you want to explain something
to me about my own car?
Speaker 7 (19:41):
Now? That is what I call rich?
Speaker 2 (19:54):
What are you laughing at?
Speaker 5 (19:57):
I guess I'm just a copycat.
Speaker 7 (20:00):
Let's get started, daddy.
Speaker 5 (20:02):
I'm anxious to get the principal down path. When we
get started, I know one principle you'll.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Have down.
Speaker 4 (20:10):
And lady, lady, stop the chattering please, we're about to begin.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Now.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
First, Harriet, to stop the car. I press this little
button on the dashboard.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
Suddenly like this, it didn't start, No, but all the
lights went on.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
M I'll try it again. Ah, there we are. Now
I'll just shift it into first year. What's this The
clutch won't move?
Speaker 5 (20:50):
Course not.
Speaker 7 (20:51):
You got to step on the brake.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Step on the brake.
Speaker 7 (20:56):
To start my car.
Speaker 5 (20:58):
You depressed that brake pedal, Harriet, let's surprise your daddy.
Speaker 8 (21:01):
Okay, here goes.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
What happens?
Speaker 7 (21:07):
What happened once?
Speaker 8 (21:08):
Where you're driving?
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Daddy.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
We're going fifty miles an hour and I haven't shifted.
Speaker 7 (21:15):
Into high.
Speaker 6 (21:22):
Complin.
Speaker 7 (21:22):
There isn't any first or second gear.
Speaker 9 (21:25):
Oh, isn't any first or second Boy, this car can
really dig.
Speaker 10 (21:30):
Out, Daddy.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
One more turn like that and they'll dig us out
of the upholstery.
Speaker 10 (21:37):
This is awful.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
We're at the mercy of this steel monster. I've got
to stop it.
Speaker 7 (21:41):
I would if I were you. Just step on the
gas pedal. It's the gas pedal.
Speaker 8 (21:46):
You just went through a red light, Daddy.
Speaker 7 (21:48):
Now you're on the wrong side of the street. Please, sir,
dam you're put down on the gas pedal.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
She's taking leave of her senses.
Speaker 7 (21:56):
We've got a maniac in the car.
Speaker 8 (21:57):
With calm down, Daddy. Maybe you ought to turn.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Off the motor, the motive. Yes, yes, that's what I do.
Turn off the motor. But the ignition switch.
Speaker 7 (22:09):
Where's the ignition switch that's up front under the hood.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Oh good, I just step out and I'll walk up.
Speaker 7 (22:18):
To the there's.
Speaker 8 (22:25):
A street car. It's all right, Miss Brooks, passing it
on the left.
Speaker 7 (22:32):
I know it's coming towards us.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
There's only one way to stop this juggernaut.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
I try to ease it over the sidewalk up ahead
and bring it to stop against one of those hedges.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Oh, here's a hedge that looks nice and bushing.
Speaker 8 (22:58):
What do you know?
Speaker 7 (22:59):
They trimmed.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
V Thomas Brooks returns in just a moment. But first, dream.
Speaker 9 (23:17):
Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Tonight, Yes, tonight, show him how much lovelier your hair
can look after a luster cream shampoo. Luster Cream world's
finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives you
Kdoma's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lameline better than.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
A soap, better than a liquid. Luster cream is an
ady cream shampoo.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Leave's hair three ways lovelier, fragrantly clean, free of loose dandr,
glistening with sheen, soft, manageable even in hardest water. Luster
cream lathers instantly, so gentle luster cream is wonderful, well
even for children's hair. Tonight, Yes, tonight, try luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 9 (24:06):
Dream Girl, dream Girl.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Beautiful Luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
You owe your crowning glryo A lost a cream.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Shampoo, and now once again here is our Miss Brooks.
Speaker 7 (24:25):
Well.
Speaker 5 (24:26):
As soon as we determined that no one was injured,
Harriet tried to console her father about the condition.
Speaker 7 (24:31):
Of his car.
Speaker 9 (24:32):
The insurance company will take care of your car, Daddy.
They may even get you a brand new one.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Oh, Harriet, it could have been a lot worse.
Speaker 5 (24:40):
Couldn't it turn your head slowly to the left, mister Conklin,
stop in the name of the law.
Speaker 7 (24:55):
Now that's what I call a timely command.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Quiet Water didn't, so it is well, you just keep
your nose out of this.
Speaker 7 (25:03):
Denton, you will kindly refer to me as Captain Denton.
Speaker 9 (25:07):
You forget, sir, I was commissioned by your superior officer,
mister Stone head of the.
Speaker 7 (25:12):
Board of Education.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
But there's no reason for him to hear this.
Speaker 8 (25:16):
Not unless your council trant.
Speaker 5 (25:18):
Nice word, Captain Denton, and may I borrow your pencil, please.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Sir, my pencil? Oh yes, yes, of course you are, Captain.
We were just driving along at a normal rate of speed.
Speaker 7 (25:32):
But suddenly spell psychopathic.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Psychopathic p S Y C H O p A P
H I s Now, you don't have to enter too
specific a report about it.
Speaker 9 (25:43):
Driving down main Street like a psychopathic idiots?
Speaker 7 (25:49):
Why the h oh.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Officer Denton. Couldn't we talk this over? Walter Walter, my
boy son.
Speaker 7 (26:06):
I'm sorry, mister Conklin.
Speaker 9 (26:08):
It's extremely difficult for me in this instance, but I
must be ruthless.
Speaker 7 (26:12):
It is difficult for mister Conklin. Walter's naturally very rude.
Here you are, sir.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
Ticket, Oh, where where my glasses fell off when we
stopped this booby trap?
Speaker 7 (26:23):
I can here, I'll read it for you, Miss Conklin.
It says for offenses too offensive to mention.
Speaker 5 (26:29):
Starting this evening, the prisoner will serve thirty days on KP.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
KP me but I can, I won't, I won't. Something
must be done about this, But don't sit there, Mis Brooks.
Speaker 7 (26:42):
Tell me what I can do.
Speaker 5 (26:43):
Pick up your mock Matilda. Those floors must shine tonight.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
The next week to one other artist bookshel lot to
you by lust your cream temple, but doc Clamorous for
ressible and Colgate Dental cream to clean your breath while
you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Varden, is produced by Larry Burns,
written by Al Lewis, with the music of Wilbrahatch. Mister
Boynton is played by Jeff Chandler, Mister Complin by Gail Gordon.
Others in the night's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Crannar,
Gloria macmillan and Leonard Smith.
Speaker 12 (27:24):
You want a beauty soap for a beauty bath and
your bath becomes the beauty bath when you change to
proper cleansing with palm Olive soap. For bathing with this
beauty soap brings you the full beautifying effects of palm
Olive's mild and gentle leather, proved by doctors to bring
most women lovelier complexions in just fourteen days.
Speaker 13 (27:44):
Bath Size palm Olive is designed to give you everything
you need for all over beauty care. Fragrance for daintiness,
mildness for loveliness, purity for gentleness, big bath size for thriftiness.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
So get big bath size palm Olives. So my wild,
so pure, so right for all of you.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
If you like mysteries that are full of chuckles as chills,
be sure to hear Mystery and Missus North every Tuesday
over the same network, and don't miss the exciting and laughable.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Adventures of these amateur detectiques. Here mister and Missus North
every Tuesday night.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Envy with us again next week at the same time
for another comedy episode of our Miss Brooks Problem on speaking.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Stay tuned now for Jack Benny. This is CBS, a
Monday broadcasting st
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