January 9, 2026 • 42 mins
Kick off 2026 strong by ditching the lazy girl era!
Join Asha Christina on Quality Queen Control for the ultimate Anti-Lazy Girl Manifesto! In this empowering episode, Asha breaks down 26 transformative things she and her listeners are bringing into their winter arc for unstoppable growth in mindset, productivity, relationships, faith, and self-improvement.
Discover actionable productivity tips for women, motivation strategies to rebuild discipline, goal-setting habits for 2026, and faith-based wisdom to level up your life. Whether you're rebranding your career, elevating your dating standards, or building unshakeable confidence, this manifesto is your blueprint to become the high-value queen you’re meant to be.
Perfect for women ready to exit lazy girl jobs, embrace hot girl winters, and manifest abundance in the new year.
Let’s make 2026 your most disciplined, sophisticated era yet!
Join Asha Christina on Quality Queen Control for the ultimate Anti-Lazy Girl Manifesto! In this empowering episode, Asha breaks down 26 transformative things she and her listeners are bringing into their winter arc for unstoppable growth in mindset, productivity, relationships, faith, and self-improvement.
Discover actionable productivity tips for women, motivation strategies to rebuild discipline, goal-setting habits for 2026, and faith-based wisdom to level up your life. Whether you're rebranding your career, elevating your dating standards, or building unshakeable confidence, this manifesto is your blueprint to become the high-value queen you’re meant to be.
Perfect for women ready to exit lazy girl jobs, embrace hot girl winters, and manifest abundance in the new year.
Let’s make 2026 your most disciplined, sophisticated era yet!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ignoring signals that your body is telling you delays your healing.
Pretending like it doesn't hurt you, and it does delays
your healing. Pretending like you don't care and you really
do is just delaying your healing. You have to find
a way to let it out. Hey, babe, it's Asia
Christina As.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
This is quality, clean control. What is happening?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Hello, my angels, long time no see your girl is
back and better than ever. Guys. I have some really
fun and entertaining and exciting episodes coming for you, guys.
Thank you so much for being so patient on this
unintentional hiatus that I was taking a lot of changes,
(00:49):
a lot of transitions, and a lot of exciting things.
Like I said that I have in store for the
show and the podcast, I just want to jump right
on into it.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
So, as you guys know, last year, we did a.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Little something that really started to have legs called the
Anti Lazy Girl Manifesto. And what a perfect time as
we are in our winter arc era to give you
guys an anti lazy girl Manifesto for twenty twenty six. Okay,
so going into twenty twenty six right, not interested in
the trends I'm interested in maturity. You guys should be
(01:22):
following me on my new TikTok I just started it.
It's called Asha Christina Approved. I'll probably have it in
the show notes. I mean, okay, So what I'm doing
is my regular Asia Christina Foster profile unintentionally ended up
turning into TikTok Shop. So I'm trying to build a
new account, and then I'm going to switch the names.
Let that sit for a little bit. It'll make sense
(01:43):
when you actually say it back to yourself. Anyway, these
are going to be twenty six things that we are
going to be bringing into our winter arc and are
part of the twenty twenty six Anti Lazy Girl Manifesto.
So we honestly lived through the era of romanticizing avoidance, right, Like,
what is the healthy balance of self care versus actually
(02:07):
being lazy and giving yourself a little bit too much grace?
But it's just pretty much like an excuse for you
to just avoid things.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
And not do them.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
But we're calling it burnout hustle, and we're calling disengagement
honestly self care on I think a lot of us
are realizing that that way of living actually does not
produce peace, confidence, or honestly even closeness with God. Because
you know what we are doing in twenty twenty six overall,
(02:38):
before we get into all these tips, is we are
prioritizing God at the center of everything. I want to
also preface this by saying, absolutely we will be hitting
hard again with the dating content. I want to have
guests on here, influencers that are going to also be
talking about their experiences with dating. But I also want
(02:59):
it to be if it's relevant to the conversation, which
it honestly normally always is. Is I always want to
touch on the fact that for me, it's always going
to be God at the center of everything. So today
I want to share twenty six things I am carrying
into twenty twenty six as a part of the Anti
Lazy Girl manifesto. Things that are helping me to shape
(03:19):
my boundaries, my self care, my faith, my emotional intelligence
as well as my confidence. So this is not really
a checklist. It's not about perfection. It's stewardship, it's intentionality,
it's growth, all right, So take whatever resonates and leave
what doesn't. So we're going to start off with boundaries
(03:42):
and self respect. This has been a key theme in
my life this year. Number one, no access without alignment.
Repeat it after me, No access without alignment. Not everyone
who likes you gets proximity to you. Access is earned
through true consistency, values and respect. This goes for romantic
(04:05):
relationships and platonic relationships, also familial relationships. We all know
you cannot heal in an environment that made you sick.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
And in addition to that.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Respecting yourself, which also includes honoring your word, means you
have to have boundaries. Boundaries says I love myself. It
also screams self respect. So this is going to be
a very important key that you need to take with you.
No more pity parties for yourself and saying, oh, well
this person, I loved him, We've been together for so
(04:39):
long history. This people just don't understand who he is.
I understand his I don't want to hear it. I've
had enough, and so should you have. I don't want
to hear you're eroding at your self respect and your
boundaries in the name of you're just too free to
speak up for yourself. Number two consistent see over chemistry.
(05:01):
You will have chemistry with a lot of people in
your lifetime.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Babe.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Okay, everything does not deserve your energy desern as needed.
Peace is sometimes not choosing to engage, won't I know it?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Right?
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Chemistry without stability creates chaos. I bet some of you
know it all too well, or some of you were
so deep in it you're.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Like, oh my gosh, like is that me? It's you?
It's you. If you think it's you, it's you.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I'm watching this show called Bander Pump Villa kind of obsessed.
Not really wasn't my intention, not even something I would
normally watch, but I kind of got sucked into it
because I was watching The Mormon Wives and then you know,
like that whole drama with like Marciano and Demi and okay,
that's how I ended up watching vander Pump Villa. Turns
(05:48):
out the show is actually fantastic, and I actually kind
of really love Lisa vander Pump's fabulousness. And so you
start to see throughout the course, like there's this guy
named Siotti in season two and he was like in
some sort of relationship with this girl named Sianna, and
you can see unfortunately Sienna did not realize that she
was really engaging in a very toxic dynamic where this guy,
(06:13):
we can see from the audience's perspective, very disregarding of her.
I mean, the number one argument about Siatti is we
don't even know who that man is, and I don't
even think that's his real name. But when you have
chemistry with someone without the stability, which is what they
clearly had, it.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Will create chaos.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
But because you guys are intimate, right, causes soul ties
causes issues. I don't care who's feathers that ruffles. It's
going to cause problems, especially when you don't have stability there.
Stability meaning you're not even actually in a relationship with
this person. You don't know how this person feels. This
person's always hot and cold with you. You have to
(06:52):
choose patterns over potential. If you see constantly, over and
over again that this person is hot and cold, that
is a pad we don't want to hear about. Oh,
but when the times are good, they're good, and that's
what you're holding on too. Can you hold potential? Hold
that for me, real quick? Hold that potential real quick?
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Can you hold it? Is it tangible now?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Right? So stop consistency over chemistry. Yeah, we're so back.
And number three Like I said, silence is a response.
There was a situation that I went through years and
years ago. Some of you may know it. At this
point in my journey, I could care less to talk
about it. There was actually an all transparency this is tea. Yeah,
(07:36):
listen up a time where I was afraid to talk
about what was happening to me behind the scenes of
me being friends with another creator at the time, and
she was an actual nightmare, like she was harassing me,
sending me voice notes, which yes, I have evidence of,
I have proof of. I have saved all of it
(07:57):
because I ended up having to file a police report
against this person because at least at the time, I
don't know what this person is doing. I actually never
knew what this person was doing because after we stopped speaking,
or I at least stopped speaking to her, I was
never interested or engaged in anything that she was doing
ever in life. But then many many years later, it
(08:19):
became very obvious to me after receiving copious amounts of
hate and her weaponizing her audience against me, and me
just kind of suffering in silence because I didn't want
to add fuel to the fire that I realized that wait,
this person knows everything about my current life and I
know nothing about theirs. Like it was actually very scary,
(08:40):
but I realized that for me at the time, peace
was choosing to not engage with that person. I actually
made a video about this, like yesterday, I didn't post
it yet shortform content, and I told myself, there's nothing
that I regret about how I.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Handled the situation.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I think the only thing that I would have done
differently is I wouldn't have disappeared in the way that
I did. But at the time, in my younger self,
when I was in my twenties, that's how I processed it.
I thought that, you know what, let me just kind of,
you know, dim down a little bit, because clearly this
person doesn't feel like I deserve the right to be
(09:16):
on the same platform as them. They think that I
don't even care what they think honestly, like they just
think very highly of themselves. And I now know, in hindsight,
after dealing with this, I think the end of this
saga ended in twenty twenty two or twenty twenty three
is when I finally had peace from the situation. I mean,
this person was harassing me behind the scenes since twenty
(09:37):
eighteen pretty much. So it was just or twenty nineteen,
it was just a nightmare. I sail that to say,
peace is a lot of the times choosing to not engage.
It is choosing to stay still and to stay silent.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
And again you have to discern which situation calls for what.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
But one thing I definitely am proud of myself for
in that particular situation is not fighting fire with fire
and engaging in subliminal mean messages with that person or
just throwing negativity in that person's direction, even though they
were very much throwing it on me. Set Yeah, AnyWho,
(10:16):
everything does not deserve my energy. That person did not
deserve my energy, and that's why she was going absolute
nuts to the point of like I think she at
least at the time, I don't know what this person's doing,
Like I said, definitely had some sort of mental disorder
and obsession with me, truly, because she wouldn't stop, and
it was so unprovoked, Like I never reached out to
(10:39):
this person saying anything to them, and they would just
like make a bunch of fake pages about me, spread
all these lies like do you know, just like the
typical hater stuff. But people wouldn't really believe it if
I were to say my side, at least I thought
at the time, because of the fact that this person
had way more followers, so they were going with the
stereot time typical story of I'm a cloud chaser all
(11:02):
these different things. However, that's not true because if you're
the person with all the clout, right, then why do
you keep on dragging my name through the mud?
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Wouldn't you want to ignore.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
The person that's trying to cloud chase off of you
because you don't want to give them any recognition. So
what she was doing is what I like to refer
to as reverse cloud chasing, because bringing up me was
bringing her more attention and it made her feel good
to feel like, yeah, I have like a ban and
a team against this person to validate the lies that
(11:32):
I'm actually telling myself. And you can't tell liars that
they're not lying, right, because people to that level of psychopathy,
they believe the things that they're saying. So for me,
silence was my response. Paying this person in dust was
my response, And now many many years later, I can
(11:53):
speak at it with zero attachment to the situation and
feeling honestly just released because I'm not bitter about it,
but I'm just simply speaking what the actual truth is
and what happened to me at that time.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Right.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
So, so silence is a response stop trying to text
that man, and well, I just want to let you
know how I feel now. Again, I also want to
preface this by saying, yeah, there is discernment in sometimes
you do kind of want to just give that person,
you know, say whatever is off your chest and kind
of let it go. Not even from a sense of
ego or you're trying to provoke a response out of
(12:31):
that person, but just to kind of release yourself from it.
It's cathartic and you're just moving on. I'm very hardcore.
I will say nothing to you, and I will continue
to pay you in dust. I don't care how bad
I want to say something to you.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
You won't hear from me. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
If there's one thing I'm good at, it's not responding,
and even now, honestly lol, where I get like little
snarky comments and things like that, Like I'll say something
funny in response, but I'm not like really upset about it,
Like I'm never really good to be doing like a
hole back and forth on the Internet when I could
block you.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Imagine that. So, yeah, silence is a response, right and things.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Everything does not deserve your energy, so you don't always
have to have the last word, all right, So now
moving on to number four, boundaries don't require explanations because
I said no, I said no, and I'm done, and
know what's an explanation? And I know it's easier said
than done. I'm sitting here on my throne saying it
(13:31):
as though it's easy. It is not easy, and to
be honest, it hasn't been something that has been easy
for me. You kind of have to reach a point
where you are so fed up. You're sick and tired
of being sick and tired of feeling like honoring what
someone else is doing makes you feel like you're losing
parts of yourself and people pleasing is a negative thing.
(13:51):
It is eroding at your boundaries and platforming others in
a way that's idolatrous from a biblical perspective where you're
not respecting yourself and you are doing things selflessly, but
from a form of idolatry as opposed to like a
sincere humbleness of this as a service that I'm providing
(14:11):
for you as a volunteer because this is something I
genuinely want to do to help you out. But it's
more of I'm scared of what this person's response is
going to be. I want this person to like me,
so I'm gonna people please. I'm not gonna like you
know who has tended to do things like this and
she admitted it. I'm not coming down on her Jen
from the Mormon Wives, who I actually like, by the way,
(14:32):
but Jen has admitted to people pleasing because she was
scared to vocalize her opinion. She idolized her perception of
how she was perceived in that context, and it came
across as people pleasing. Okay, So clarity is kindness, That's
what clarity is, all right, But over explaining is now
consider it self abandonment because you over explaining yourself is
(14:55):
going to lead to the issues I'm sure that you
see in your life right now? Right Yeah, Hey, number five,
your time is currency. How you spend it reveals what
you value, and you need to spend it wisely. I'm
gonna leave that right there, Mike drop because there's nothing
else to say, because I'm sure you understand me perfectly well.
Number six, you are done over functioning. I am not
(15:18):
carrying what is not mine to carry. You should not
be carrying what is no longer yours to carry, meaning
stop getting.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Involved in things for the plot.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Someone recently told me this, and I realized, like, wow,
you're giving so much of your power away, feeling hopeless
in situations when I shouldn't even be involved in this.
I'm disassociating like I've had enough. Because again, it's boundaries,
Because if you're if you have a goal and you
want to respect yourself, you do have to have tunnel
vision and organize and be strategic about where and how
(15:51):
you're spending your time. Okay, now we're moving on into
self care, real self care. All right, this is gonna
be number seven. Remember doing twenty six things in the
Anti Lazy Girl manifesto. Rest is actually strategic, it's not
escapism being someone that sometimes you know, I have a
little bit of a struggle when it comes to focusing.
(16:12):
One of the most effective methods for me is the
Pomeadora method, and that's basically where you have a certain
amount of time that you're performing a task and then
you give yourself a break. So it's like that habit
Q sort of reward system that we know about in
atomic habits. But it's very, very effects effective because when
you work, you work. When you play, you play, and
(16:34):
it's not extremely long spurts of delayed gratification, if that
makes sense. It's more of, Okay, I'm going to work
and clean my room for twenty minutes, and then I'm
going to go on my phone for five minutes. I'm
going to work for another twenty minutes or twenty five minutes.
You set the time, and then you set a certain
(16:54):
amount of time that you were going to give yourself
a rest, so that you don't feel like while you're working,
you're or like on your phone trying to you know,
you're not really getting things done because you're switching trying
to multitask when you're already struggling to focus. But if
you know, if I lock in for X amount of time,
I'm going to have a break for X amount of time,
(17:15):
You're more likely to actually just focus on what you
need to focus on. So you have to remember when
you are resting. It actually is a form of strategy,
they say, even when it comes to working out and
going to the gym rest is very important in order
to even build muscle and help your body to recover
from your workouts. All right, it's not a form of escapism, right,
(17:36):
So when you're resting, you're resting because you can re
enter life, not because you're avoiding life. There's a difference.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Number eight, Your body keeps receipts. We all know the
book The Body keeps score. But ignoring signals that your
body is telling you delays your healing. Pretending like it
doesn't hurt you, and it does delays your healing. Pretending
like you you don't care and you really do is
just delaying your healing.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
You have to find a way to let it out.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
One of the things that I recently started doing which
has allowed me to be more consistent in all transparency
is journaling. And the reason journaling for me was never
super effective, despite my knowledge of the fact that it
is a proven method that works, is because I would
never really write down my true feelings. For some reason,
I always felt like I had to document only the
(18:27):
positive and not really share what I was truly actually
going through To one day look back at it, and
I mean, there was a point in time where I
kind of was doing that, and then I still stopped.
But now a couple of years has gone by and
I said, you know what, I'm just going to let
it really all out. And it has been the most
(18:49):
cathartic thing for me because I'm actually writing how I
truly feel and I'm letting it out, and that outlet
actually feels very, very good. So you should never ignore
signals in your body, even health wise.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
You don't want to.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Ignore things, right, you have to go and check up
on yourself. You have to pay attention to your body
because the body does keep score. Your body does keep
the receipts. Pay attention to how you feel when certain
people speak to you, when you leave certain environments. Are
you feeling drained? Are you feeling recharged? Pay attention to
(19:27):
those things. Number nine routine is self love having a routine.
You know, now that I have my first big girl apartment,
all the things you would think in all transparency that
oh yeah, like I'm on my own now, everything is good.
All of a sudden, I feel like I was. I'm
restructuring my life all over again. I'm waking up and
I'm like wait, okay, like yes, I can do whatever
(19:49):
I want, but like no one is here to like
make sure that you are doing what it is that
you need to do. You're also not really pressed because
you don't have something else to do. You don't have
your parents like telling you, hey, like I need you
to do this at this time, So you're trying to
get things done. You're functioning in that chaos, if that
makes sense, So you feel like you're able to be
(20:10):
more productive as opposed to not having that kind of
on your back where you'd be shocked. You actually do
spend a lot of the time procrastinating. A lot of
old things start to arise as you are kind of
on your healing journey. I can't really express it better
than that yet, but I hope you guys are understanding
what I'm saying. So discipline is what's also going to
(20:31):
help create freedom for you, not restriction, just like how
people feel about the Bible. People view it as restrictive,
but no, it's actually freedom, freedom from a lot of
things that can cause heartbreak. Like there's a reason why
you know, I believe in practicing abstinence. I know, ruffling
feathers here, it is what it is because it prevents
(20:53):
you from so much like you're able to move with clarity,
and I know people think.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Like, how is that even possible to be with someone
like that?
Speaker 1 (21:00):
It absolutely is possible to be with someone and have
that be present in your relationship dynamic. And you'll be
shocked with how much more clearer you think, and you're
less susceptible to the pitfalls of what happens when you
know intimacy happens prematurely, as well as the soul ties
that happen when intimacy happens, especially outside of the parameters
(21:21):
of marriage. Okay, I don't want to hear anything from you.
Number ten Delayed gratification builds confidence. Why you're teaching yourself persistence, right,
You're building that muscle when you go to the gym.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Do you have abs the next day? You don't look
at you. I'm just saying I don't either yet. Please.
When you you're trying to work toward.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
A result, it's teaching you the discipline to keep showing up.
And showing up is going to build your confidence because
it's it's exposure therapy.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
It's exposure therapy.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Even right now with my YouTube channel, those of you
that are seeing this, I'm very happy those of you
that are listening to I mean, I always have my
people that tune into the audio. I love you guys,
I'm very great for you guys. But the people that
are tuning into my YouTube channel, I mean, let's be
honest here, I have over two hundred thousand subscribers, and
I'm like, what is going on with my channel where
(22:15):
I feel like I'm not even getting the views for
the amount of work that I was consistently putting in,
give or take. I did take a hiatus, as we
know for those of you that have been tuning into
the show.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
But I'm still going to show up regardless.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna have
faith everything's gonna come together. I'm not going to throw
the channel away. I'm just simply not going to do that.
But the point is delayed gratification and any capacity is
going to build your confidence. It is exposure therapy. You
get used to showing up, even on TikTok. When I
first started TikTok Shop, I had no idea what was
(22:49):
going to come from it. I had no idea what
I was doing. I'm still learning. I'm a student of life, period,
but showing up has just given me the confidence. I
was very nervous. How is my audience going to perceive this?
I this is something I've always wanted to do. It's
honestly enabled me. It's been the biggest blessing. It's enabled
me to have relationships with brands that I really didn't
(23:10):
have before, even just from doing YouTube alone. And it
feels like it kind of was the missing bucket that
I'm glad that I've been able to fill in the
umbrella of Asia Christina.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Right.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
So, yeah, saying no now is going to strengthen your
yes later.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Saying no now will strengthen your yes later.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Why, Because you're able to move with intention and confidence
that you're yes is yes and your no is no.
Number eleven, Saying no protects your yes.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Your energy actually is finite, Okay, and it's also very valuable,
so you need to treat it as such. Moving along here,
faith and spiritual maturity. Okay, where all my believers at
at this particular point. Okay, if you're listening to this,
I'm sure we are similar, right, we are like minded?
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Right?
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Yeah, we want to hear the tea about dating, but
we want to talk about relationships with ourselves. We want
to talk about a relationship with Christ, all the things right,
obedience over outcomes. This is a lot more easier said
than done because faith isn't just about what you get,
but it's about who you become. So often we hear
that saying that says, actually, on the path to success,
(24:22):
it really is all about the journey. Right In hindsight,
it's true, right, it's all about the journey. It's kind
of like how people say a little bit principally, how
people say, like, oh, life is just not all about money,
but it's like, let me get there first, Zacher, have
that same perception, you know, but it's true, like, it
really is about who you're becoming, the journey of who
(24:43):
you are becoming on your way to get there, because
you will see success one day and when you look back,
you're like, Wow, I went through all these things, and
the beauty in my journey is who I became to
become and rest in the successful person that I am today.
Right Number thirteen, Discernment over desire, Yeah, play that back.
(25:04):
Discernment over desire. Not every open door is God. You're
sitting here walking through everything trying to put up you know.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Well, God would allow it to have it.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
God gives us choice power, honey, all right, some doors
are simply distractions. You need to be discerning enough to
understand which it actually is, all right. Number fourteen, Conviction
without condemntion. Growth does not require shame, all right. And
that is precisely the voice of the enemy making you
(25:36):
feel like, See, why do you even bother going to church.
You just went out with your friends last night, you
were drinking. You still struggle with the same sin. You
shouldn't even bother trying to change You're already So now
you're thinking in your head, you know what, Yeah, you're right.
Sin does what It pulls us further away from God, right,
So we don't want to come to God after we've
(25:57):
done something particularly shameful. If you think about the genesis
of Adam and Eve, like once they realized that they
were naked, they did what they hid from God once
they ate from the apple. So you have to think
about it like that, right, So when you think about
it from that perspective, you have to realize, okay, wait
a second, Yeah, the actions of me participating in behaviors
that are sinful that I know are not good for me,
(26:18):
and I should have the spiritual maturity by now to
avoid those things. Because I know I want to show
up in a different capacity and stretch my faith and
grow in my walk with God. There are certain behaviors
I cannot continue to participate in. It doesn't mean you're
not going to mess up sometimes, because you will, because
you're human, because we still live in this flesh. The
spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
We already know that.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
But having conviction from the Holy Spirit looks like, Okay, God,
I repent, I'm sorry, help me to change these ways
having a repentant heart rather than saying you know what,
just forget it, or even worse, being in iniquity and saying,
you know what, actually I don't feel anything. I don't
even care it is what it is. God is going
(27:00):
to forgive me. That sort of arrogance about it and
abusing God's grace. Everyone has a different threshold of grace.
No one knows what that is per person. You don't
even know what that is for yourself. You don't want
to test it. So when you have conviction from the
Holy Spirit, it looks a lot different than condemntion, which
condemntion brings about shame. Why are you trying? Just give up?
(27:22):
You know you're not going to get it together. Don't
even bother. Church is not for people that already have
their lives together. It's for people striving. Every day. You're falling,
you're getting up. You're falling, you're getting up. That's what
it's about. Number fifteen Prayer before public processing. God gets
first access, not the group chat. I'm telling you. I
(27:44):
know this is another thing that is easier said than done.
But you know how I gave this example in my
Bible study. You know how your initial thought is, oh,
my gosh, I need to call my girlfriend like God
wants that same relationship with you. And sometimes, you know,
to be honest, sometimes you might talk to your friend
first and then you'll talk to God after. But you
need to consult with God. You need to be consulting
(28:05):
with God, just like how you would your girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Number sixteen Peace is the confirmation. Chaos is not a
sign that you're aligned. Oh yes, that's why I'm experiencing
so much chaos, because this is.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
How it's supposed to be.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
I don't really believe that, just like how I'm not
of the belief that I need to fight, as far
as romantic dynamics go, I need to fight for love
that I have for a man i'm not. And that's
where a lot of you get tripped up. Is you
really think that I just need to show him that
I love him. I just need to prove to him
that he's loved. He's gone through so much in his life,
all right. Keep doing that, and you're gonna see that
(28:42):
he's going to put you through so many more situations
and your mind is going to be so used to
having to make up and compensate for where he lacks
and making excuses for him that you can't even tell
the difference if he's actually trying to play you or not,
because you're constantly making excuses for his behavior.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
And that, with that being.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Said, let's move on into emotional intelligence Number seventeen.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Feelings are data.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
They're not directives, all right, So I observe them and
I obey.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Them, right, that's all that.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
It is, Just like how I always say your feelings
are valid, but they're not always factual. So how someone's
making you feel is data, But it doesn't mean you
always have to act on how you're feeling all the time.
You'd be shocked when you do something that's called what
was that? Communicating and seeing how far that that gets
some of you. Yes, emotional intelligence. A lot of people
(29:39):
lack that. Number eighteen. Triggers are teachers. I know it sucks,
but they are. It really, really is, And as you heal,
you'll start to realize like, oh man, this is something
that I honestly need to work on. If something activates you,
there's something there to explore. Okay, why is this making
me perpetually angry? Why is this, you know, making me
(30:02):
feel like I am feeling envious. I'm feeling like I
want to dim my light. I'm feeling like I want
to shrink here, I'm feeling expansive here. You have to
actually realize and stop and take note of Okay, why
is this triggering me? This is here to teach me
something cliche but very true and imperative for your growth.
(30:23):
Number nineteen. Regulation is power Why because calm is authority.
We all know that the loudest person in the room
is not the most confident person.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Right.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Confidence speaks for itself, it's it exudes out of a person,
all Right. Authority is something that if a person is
truly confident they will have they'll speak with authority, and
it doesn't need to be the loudest, most boisterous person
in the room. It's calm and calmness also can mean authority.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Right.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
I can be compassionate without self betrayal. All right, So
having empathy for someone or a situation does not require
self sacrifice. You need to decern the two. You should
not be just throwing yourself into situations where you are
betraying yourself to fill someone else's cup. That does not
(31:23):
make sense because charity starts at home, all right. Number
twenty one, Closure is internal? Can I say that a
little louder? Closure is internal? Not everyone gets a conversation,
especially in my book, You'll get nothing out of me.
You will get a nothing burger from me. Okay, that's
(31:46):
what you're gonna get. Not everyone gets a conversation, and
that's okay. And I know I was joking there. I
kind of did drag that out. I've come to realize
that for me, if I am willing to have a
conversation with someone, it does mean that I'm interested in
resolving it. As an adult, you'll realize that when you
don't really want to have a conversation with someone, it's
because you actually really don't care.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
And that's also okay. It's okay to not care.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
It's okay that sometimes friendships they fall by the wayside
and there's nothing more to say right there, because what
are we gonna do bring up everything all over again?
Where I already know when I think about it, that
I made up my mind that I actually don't want
to be involved.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
With you anymore. I don't really see the point.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
I'm done, and so like it is what it is,
and I'm not interested in discussing it with you. And
I know that might be controversial, but it's like, like
we know how we got here, right.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
So like it is what it is.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
On the contrary, if I am interested in resolving things,
I one hundred percent want to hear you out, and
I do want to come to a place of resolution, right.
Number twenty two, moving into confidence and identity. Confidence is
actually self trust in motion in action, all right. It
(32:58):
is built on care keeping promises to yourself. Honoring your
word will actually start to build your confidence because you're
sitting here thinking, wait, if I'm doing what I said
I'm gonna do, then why would I tolerate someone else
not doing what they said that they're gonna do.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
Tell me how that makes sense, cause it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
So this is gonna help with your confidence when you
keep your promises to yourself.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
It can be anything.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
You know what, I'm going to make sure I start
eating a little bit more salid rather than the carbs.
Honor that I'm going to make sure that I am
ready at this time. Honor that I'm gonna try and
wake up twenty minutes earlier, fifteen minutes earlier, starting small
here so that you can.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Give yourself time to work your way up.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Sometimes we get a little bit too drastic, and then
when we fail, we kind of give give ourselves the
valid excuse of Okay, I see I couldn't do it.
I just can't do it, So just forget it right
when you should have just gone about it in a
more granular way. Okay, Number twenty three. I don't need
to be loud to be certain. Security does not announce itself.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
I'm here, I'm a celebrity.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Oh my god, Like I always say, like, I don't know,
Like there's this term as a millennial that I grew
up with where it says like it ain't tricking if
you got it, and I always just felt like it's
it will forever behoove me when I walk into certain
rooms and I'm feeling like the influencers are like acting
so like hey, like like that la type of vibe
(34:25):
that I just cannot stand. It's so strange to me,
very strange to me, Like didn't we we all are
in the same place. Clearly we all deserve to be here.
And if you really are that girl, you actually can
be kind? Do you do understand that?
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Right? Like it's giving very much.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
I still have something to prove, like you're not on
my level, Like I need to make someone feel like
they can't mess with me because I've been tried too
many times and my defense mechanism now is to just
be mean because I don't even want to let people
think that they can try me.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
That's what that's really giving.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
If we really want to call as beta Spade, like
I don't feel the need to exert my authority, my power,
my influence, my platform in any situation that I'm in,
because it speaks for itself, like there are always going
to be people that either like you or they don't.
End of story and be confident in that. All right,
(35:20):
So you don't need to be the loudest person to
be a secure person, you don't need to announce all
of your moves. I hate to bring it back to this. Wait, no,
I don't anyway vander Pump Rules. I was sorry vander
pum Villa. I don't really watch vander Pump Rules, Like
I haven't watched it since like twenty I can't remember.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Ah, there was this guy on there. I think his
name is Eric.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
He was on season one of vander Pum Villa, and
I immediately was put off by him because to me,
he just looked sinister in his eyes. My spirit was
decerning that something is just off about him. But he
was proving me right because he felt the need to
always exercise his authority being the villa manager over the
rest of his colleagues, Like, oh, yeah, Lisa is the
(36:02):
head of you know, the show, but.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
I'm the manager. You guys are gonna listen to me.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Do what I say, Do what I say, Hey, guys, Yeah,
this is what we need to do to make himself
feel important. That's honestly where it's stemming from. All right,
you don't need to announce everything you're doing and make
yourself always seem like you're doing the most thing.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
You're doing that because what are you proving? What are
you proving?
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Number twenty four comparison is information? Actually it's not instruction.
It's information not instruction. This means you can observe without
imitating people. It is possible. Yeah, we do find inspiration
from others. Nothing is really new under the sun, honestly,
(36:45):
And I know that that's a bold thing to say,
especially in a climate where a lot of people in
the social media escape are always accusing creators of copying
this and copying the and all these different things. Like
if I really cared enough, I'm sure I could claim
the same thing. But I think that there's also a
(37:05):
difference to where people are trying to convince you of
something that isn't real. And when you have a parasocial
relationship with someone, you can take on their same lens,
Like I know I have definitely been accused of that,
and me and that other person were nothing of the
sort the same. We don't speak the same, we don't
look the same, we didn't grow up the same. Like,
(37:27):
we really have nothing much in common other than probably
are the fact that we're black, Like I don't know,
like it's just like not.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
It was just so not a thing, and it was
just hilarious to.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Me because her audience would be like, yeah, you are
copying her, You are doing this, you are doing and
I'm like, this is actually scary because when I tell you,
like anyone that knows me in real life knows, like,
I'm not a hate watcher. I will never sit there
and be secretly creeping on your profile. And partially the
reason why I never even bothered looking at any of
this person's social media is because I didn't want to
(37:58):
see them like talk about me all day long and
like feeling sick to my stomach that someone can hate
you to this, to that extent when you did nothing
wrong to them, and they're just creating a whole narrative
about you that's taken a life of its own that
has really been like at the time, like very jarring
and confusing and like scary and hurtful. Right, So I
(38:23):
was not checking on that person at all, And to
be honest, I've actually never really watched any of that
person's videos even when we were friends, simply because like
at that point, like I thought we were friends, So
it's kind of like, I don't know, Like, you know,
you're like normally friends with someone, You're not gonna like
watch everything that they're doing because you know their in
real life. That's pretty much where it's themmed from. But yeah,
(38:44):
like you are capable of observing things without imitating it.
And it's so funny because speaking of the reverse cloud chasing,
like what people don't realize is like you can also
like kind of reverse imitate where you're convincing yourself that
like you've originated something, but like really you haven't, Like
it wasn't you you know AnyWho, there's nothing wrong with
(39:04):
finding inspiration from people, right, but you don't need to
copy exactly what they do. What I mean by this
all jokes aside, is you don't have to be someone
else and embody someone else in order to feel like, Okay,
I need to copy everything that they're doing so I
can make myself feel worthy because that's not authentic to you.
That's what I mean by that, Okay, Now, Number twenty
(39:26):
five Integrity builds unshakable confidence. Who am I when no
one's watching your integrity? We don't like people as a
society when they are doing things for show. Everything that
they do is performative. Oh yeah, did you see what
I did? I brought my cart back into you know
where the carts go. Yeah, you know, I just yeah,
(39:48):
I can't stand when people just like leave it out there.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
You know, that's just so weird to me. But did
you notice that I did it? Yeah? Yeah, because I'm
a good person.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
Like you're always trying to prove something, but who are
you behind the scenes when no one watches. That's called integrity,
my friends. Right, integrity builds unshakable confidence, you know why,
because you are who you say you are. I had
a friend at the time, and one of the things
that I really like, even though her and I are
no longer friends, but I love the fact that she
(40:16):
always used to tell me, like Asha, like you are
exactly who you present yourself to be. And it's true
I am. I am the same person. Of course, we
have different nuances to us. I may be more animated
in this situation or less in another situation, but the
core values, my ethics, my morals, my confidence remains the same,
(40:38):
right like my integrity remains the same. And that's where
my confidence stands from. Because I am who I present
to be end of story, all right. And lastly, number
twenty six. I'm responsible for my inner world. You are
responsible for your inner world, your thoughts, your boundaries, your healing.
(41:01):
That is called stewardship, and that has, ironically enough been
like one of my number one prayers is like, God,
help me to steward all that you haven't trusted me with. Well, okay,
you are responsible for it. I hate to quote Will Smith,
but I think he's the one that said we're not
always responsible for what happens to us, but it is
(41:21):
our job to heal from it, right, and that goes
for you too. So going into twenty twenty six, I
honestly don't even feel like we're chasing like a soft
life specifically, or even a hard life. We're choosing a
grounded life. How about that. That's something that's achievable for
all of us. A grounded life what feels good for you?
(41:42):
One that is built on boundaries, faith, emotional intelligence, and
of course quiet confidence. Okay, So, if this episode has
resonated with you, I want you to pick three of
the twenty six things that I mentioned and actually live
them out in the new year.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Honestly, start a little bit right now. Why not?
Speaker 1 (42:05):
You know, growth is not about doing more, it's about
becoming more. All Right, I'll talk to you guys in
the next episode. With that being said, do not forget
that I love you and God loves you.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
We are so back baby, all right. I love you
guys so much. La la
Ignoring signals that your body is telling you delays your healing.
Pretending like it doesn't hurt you, and it does delays
your healing. Pretending like you don't care and you really
do is just delaying your healing. You have to find
a way to let it out. Hey, babe, it's Asia
Christina As.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
This is quality, clean control. What is happening?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Hello, my angels, long time no see your girl is
back and better than ever. Guys. I have some really
fun and entertaining and exciting episodes coming for you, guys.
Thank you so much for being so patient on this
unintentional hiatus that I was taking a lot of changes,
(00:49):
a lot of transitions, and a lot of exciting things.
Like I said that I have in store for the
show and the podcast, I just want to jump right
on into it.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
So, as you guys know, last year, we did a.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Little something that really started to have legs called the
Anti Lazy Girl Manifesto. And what a perfect time as
we are in our winter arc era to give you
guys an anti lazy girl Manifesto for twenty twenty six. Okay,
so going into twenty twenty six right, not interested in
the trends I'm interested in maturity. You guys should be
(01:22):
following me on my new TikTok I just started it.
It's called Asha Christina Approved. I'll probably have it in
the show notes. I mean, okay, So what I'm doing
is my regular Asia Christina Foster profile unintentionally ended up
turning into TikTok Shop. So I'm trying to build a
new account, and then I'm going to switch the names.
Let that sit for a little bit. It'll make sense
(01:43):
when you actually say it back to yourself. Anyway, these
are going to be twenty six things that we are
going to be bringing into our winter arc and are
part of the twenty twenty six Anti Lazy Girl Manifesto.
So we honestly lived through the era of romanticizing avoidance, right, Like,
what is the healthy balance of self care versus actually
(02:07):
being lazy and giving yourself a little bit too much grace?
But it's just pretty much like an excuse for you
to just avoid things.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
And not do them.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
But we're calling it burnout hustle, and we're calling disengagement
honestly self care on I think a lot of us
are realizing that that way of living actually does not
produce peace, confidence, or honestly even closeness with God. Because
you know what we are doing in twenty twenty six overall,
(02:38):
before we get into all these tips, is we are
prioritizing God at the center of everything. I want to
also preface this by saying, absolutely we will be hitting
hard again with the dating content. I want to have
guests on here, influencers that are going to also be
talking about their experiences with dating. But I also want
(02:59):
it to be if it's relevant to the conversation, which
it honestly normally always is. Is I always want to
touch on the fact that for me, it's always going
to be God at the center of everything. So today
I want to share twenty six things I am carrying
into twenty twenty six as a part of the Anti
Lazy Girl manifesto. Things that are helping me to shape
(03:19):
my boundaries, my self care, my faith, my emotional intelligence
as well as my confidence. So this is not really
a checklist. It's not about perfection. It's stewardship, it's intentionality,
it's growth, all right, So take whatever resonates and leave
what doesn't. So we're going to start off with boundaries
(03:42):
and self respect. This has been a key theme in
my life this year. Number one, no access without alignment.
Repeat it after me, No access without alignment. Not everyone
who likes you gets proximity to you. Access is earned
through true consistency, values and respect. This goes for romantic
(04:05):
relationships and platonic relationships, also familial relationships. We all know
you cannot heal in an environment that made you sick.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
And in addition to that.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Respecting yourself, which also includes honoring your word, means you
have to have boundaries. Boundaries says I love myself. It
also screams self respect. So this is going to be
a very important key that you need to take with you.
No more pity parties for yourself and saying, oh, well
this person, I loved him, We've been together for so
(04:39):
long history. This people just don't understand who he is.
I understand his I don't want to hear it. I've
had enough, and so should you have. I don't want
to hear you're eroding at your self respect and your
boundaries in the name of you're just too free to
speak up for yourself. Number two consistent see over chemistry.
(05:01):
You will have chemistry with a lot of people in
your lifetime.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Babe.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Okay, everything does not deserve your energy desern as needed.
Peace is sometimes not choosing to engage, won't I know it?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Right?
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Chemistry without stability creates chaos. I bet some of you
know it all too well, or some of you were
so deep in it you're.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Like, oh my gosh, like is that me? It's you?
It's you. If you think it's you, it's you.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I'm watching this show called Bander Pump Villa kind of obsessed.
Not really wasn't my intention, not even something I would
normally watch, but I kind of got sucked into it
because I was watching The Mormon Wives and then you know,
like that whole drama with like Marciano and Demi and okay,
that's how I ended up watching vander Pump Villa. Turns
(05:48):
out the show is actually fantastic, and I actually kind
of really love Lisa vander Pump's fabulousness. And so you
start to see throughout the course, like there's this guy
named Siotti in season two and he was like in
some sort of relationship with this girl named Sianna, and
you can see unfortunately Sienna did not realize that she
was really engaging in a very toxic dynamic where this guy,
(06:13):
we can see from the audience's perspective, very disregarding of her.
I mean, the number one argument about Siatti is we
don't even know who that man is, and I don't
even think that's his real name. But when you have
chemistry with someone without the stability, which is what they
clearly had, it.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Will create chaos.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
But because you guys are intimate, right, causes soul ties
causes issues. I don't care who's feathers that ruffles. It's
going to cause problems, especially when you don't have stability there.
Stability meaning you're not even actually in a relationship with
this person. You don't know how this person feels. This
person's always hot and cold with you. You have to
(06:52):
choose patterns over potential. If you see constantly, over and
over again that this person is hot and cold, that
is a pad we don't want to hear about. Oh,
but when the times are good, they're good, and that's
what you're holding on too. Can you hold potential? Hold
that for me, real quick? Hold that potential real quick?
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Can you hold it? Is it tangible now?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Right? So stop consistency over chemistry. Yeah, we're so back.
And number three Like I said, silence is a response.
There was a situation that I went through years and
years ago. Some of you may know it. At this
point in my journey, I could care less to talk
about it. There was actually an all transparency this is tea. Yeah,
(07:36):
listen up a time where I was afraid to talk
about what was happening to me behind the scenes of
me being friends with another creator at the time, and
she was an actual nightmare, like she was harassing me,
sending me voice notes, which yes, I have evidence of,
I have proof of. I have saved all of it
(07:57):
because I ended up having to file a police report
against this person because at least at the time, I
don't know what this person is doing. I actually never
knew what this person was doing because after we stopped speaking,
or I at least stopped speaking to her, I was
never interested or engaged in anything that she was doing
ever in life. But then many many years later, it
(08:19):
became very obvious to me after receiving copious amounts of
hate and her weaponizing her audience against me, and me
just kind of suffering in silence because I didn't want
to add fuel to the fire that I realized that wait,
this person knows everything about my current life and I
know nothing about theirs. Like it was actually very scary,
(08:40):
but I realized that for me at the time, peace
was choosing to not engage with that person. I actually
made a video about this, like yesterday, I didn't post
it yet shortform content, and I told myself, there's nothing
that I regret about how I.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Handled the situation.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I think the only thing that I would have done
differently is I wouldn't have disappeared in the way that
I did. But at the time, in my younger self,
when I was in my twenties, that's how I processed it.
I thought that, you know what, let me just kind of,
you know, dim down a little bit, because clearly this
person doesn't feel like I deserve the right to be
(09:16):
on the same platform as them. They think that I
don't even care what they think honestly, like they just
think very highly of themselves. And I now know, in hindsight,
after dealing with this, I think the end of this
saga ended in twenty twenty two or twenty twenty three
is when I finally had peace from the situation. I mean,
this person was harassing me behind the scenes since twenty
(09:37):
eighteen pretty much. So it was just or twenty nineteen,
it was just a nightmare. I sail that to say,
peace is a lot of the times choosing to not engage.
It is choosing to stay still and to stay silent.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
And again you have to discern which situation calls for what.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
But one thing I definitely am proud of myself for
in that particular situation is not fighting fire with fire
and engaging in subliminal mean messages with that person or
just throwing negativity in that person's direction, even though they
were very much throwing it on me. Set Yeah, AnyWho,
(10:16):
everything does not deserve my energy. That person did not
deserve my energy, and that's why she was going absolute
nuts to the point of like I think she at
least at the time, I don't know what this person's doing,
Like I said, definitely had some sort of mental disorder
and obsession with me, truly, because she wouldn't stop, and
it was so unprovoked, Like I never reached out to
(10:39):
this person saying anything to them, and they would just
like make a bunch of fake pages about me, spread
all these lies like do you know, just like the
typical hater stuff. But people wouldn't really believe it if
I were to say my side, at least I thought
at the time, because of the fact that this person
had way more followers, so they were going with the
stereot time typical story of I'm a cloud chaser all
(11:02):
these different things. However, that's not true because if you're
the person with all the clout, right, then why do
you keep on dragging my name through the mud?
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Wouldn't you want to ignore.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
The person that's trying to cloud chase off of you
because you don't want to give them any recognition. So
what she was doing is what I like to refer
to as reverse cloud chasing, because bringing up me was
bringing her more attention and it made her feel good
to feel like, yeah, I have like a ban and
a team against this person to validate the lies that
(11:32):
I'm actually telling myself. And you can't tell liars that
they're not lying, right, because people to that level of psychopathy,
they believe the things that they're saying. So for me,
silence was my response. Paying this person in dust was
my response, And now many many years later, I can
(11:53):
speak at it with zero attachment to the situation and
feeling honestly just released because I'm not bitter about it,
but I'm just simply speaking what the actual truth is
and what happened to me at that time.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Right.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
So, so silence is a response stop trying to text
that man, and well, I just want to let you
know how I feel now. Again, I also want to
preface this by saying, yeah, there is discernment in sometimes
you do kind of want to just give that person,
you know, say whatever is off your chest and kind
of let it go. Not even from a sense of
ego or you're trying to provoke a response out of
(12:31):
that person, but just to kind of release yourself from it.
It's cathartic and you're just moving on. I'm very hardcore.
I will say nothing to you, and I will continue
to pay you in dust. I don't care how bad
I want to say something to you.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
You won't hear from me. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
If there's one thing I'm good at, it's not responding,
and even now, honestly lol, where I get like little
snarky comments and things like that, Like I'll say something
funny in response, but I'm not like really upset about it,
Like I'm never really good to be doing like a
hole back and forth on the Internet when I could
block you.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Imagine that. So, yeah, silence is a response, right and things.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Everything does not deserve your energy, so you don't always
have to have the last word, all right, So now
moving on to number four, boundaries don't require explanations because
I said no, I said no, and I'm done, and
know what's an explanation? And I know it's easier said
than done. I'm sitting here on my throne saying it
(13:31):
as though it's easy. It is not easy, and to
be honest, it hasn't been something that has been easy
for me. You kind of have to reach a point
where you are so fed up. You're sick and tired
of being sick and tired of feeling like honoring what
someone else is doing makes you feel like you're losing
parts of yourself and people pleasing is a negative thing.
(13:51):
It is eroding at your boundaries and platforming others in
a way that's idolatrous from a biblical perspective where you're
not respecting yourself and you are doing things selflessly, but
from a form of idolatry as opposed to like a
sincere humbleness of this as a service that I'm providing
(14:11):
for you as a volunteer because this is something I
genuinely want to do to help you out. But it's
more of I'm scared of what this person's response is
going to be. I want this person to like me,
so I'm gonna people please. I'm not gonna like you
know who has tended to do things like this and
she admitted it. I'm not coming down on her Jen
from the Mormon Wives, who I actually like, by the way,
(14:32):
but Jen has admitted to people pleasing because she was
scared to vocalize her opinion. She idolized her perception of
how she was perceived in that context, and it came
across as people pleasing. Okay, So clarity is kindness, That's
what clarity is, all right, But over explaining is now
consider it self abandonment because you over explaining yourself is
(14:55):
going to lead to the issues I'm sure that you
see in your life right now? Right Yeah, Hey, number five,
your time is currency. How you spend it reveals what
you value, and you need to spend it wisely. I'm
gonna leave that right there, Mike drop because there's nothing
else to say, because I'm sure you understand me perfectly well.
Number six, you are done over functioning. I am not
(15:18):
carrying what is not mine to carry. You should not
be carrying what is no longer yours to carry, meaning
stop getting.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Involved in things for the plot.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Someone recently told me this, and I realized, like, wow,
you're giving so much of your power away, feeling hopeless
in situations when I shouldn't even be involved in this.
I'm disassociating like I've had enough. Because again, it's boundaries,
Because if you're if you have a goal and you
want to respect yourself, you do have to have tunnel
vision and organize and be strategic about where and how
(15:51):
you're spending your time. Okay, now we're moving on into
self care, real self care. All right, this is gonna
be number seven. Remember doing twenty six things in the
Anti Lazy Girl manifesto. Rest is actually strategic, it's not
escapism being someone that sometimes you know, I have a
little bit of a struggle when it comes to focusing.
(16:12):
One of the most effective methods for me is the
Pomeadora method, and that's basically where you have a certain
amount of time that you're performing a task and then
you give yourself a break. So it's like that habit
Q sort of reward system that we know about in
atomic habits. But it's very, very effects effective because when
you work, you work. When you play, you play, and
(16:34):
it's not extremely long spurts of delayed gratification, if that
makes sense. It's more of, Okay, I'm going to work
and clean my room for twenty minutes, and then I'm
going to go on my phone for five minutes. I'm
going to work for another twenty minutes or twenty five minutes.
You set the time, and then you set a certain
(16:54):
amount of time that you were going to give yourself
a rest, so that you don't feel like while you're working,
you're or like on your phone trying to you know,
you're not really getting things done because you're switching trying
to multitask when you're already struggling to focus. But if
you know, if I lock in for X amount of time,
I'm going to have a break for X amount of time,
(17:15):
You're more likely to actually just focus on what you
need to focus on. So you have to remember when
you are resting. It actually is a form of strategy,
they say, even when it comes to working out and
going to the gym rest is very important in order
to even build muscle and help your body to recover
from your workouts. All right, it's not a form of escapism, right,
(17:36):
So when you're resting, you're resting because you can re
enter life, not because you're avoiding life. There's a difference.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Number eight, Your body keeps receipts. We all know the
book The Body keeps score. But ignoring signals that your
body is telling you delays your healing. Pretending like it
doesn't hurt you, and it does delays your healing. Pretending
like you you don't care and you really do is
just delaying your healing.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
You have to find a way to let it out.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
One of the things that I recently started doing which
has allowed me to be more consistent in all transparency
is journaling. And the reason journaling for me was never
super effective, despite my knowledge of the fact that it
is a proven method that works, is because I would
never really write down my true feelings. For some reason,
I always felt like I had to document only the
(18:27):
positive and not really share what I was truly actually
going through To one day look back at it, and
I mean, there was a point in time where I
kind of was doing that, and then I still stopped.
But now a couple of years has gone by and
I said, you know what, I'm just going to let
it really all out. And it has been the most
(18:49):
cathartic thing for me because I'm actually writing how I
truly feel and I'm letting it out, and that outlet
actually feels very, very good. So you should never ignore
signals in your body, even health wise.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
You don't want to.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Ignore things, right, you have to go and check up
on yourself. You have to pay attention to your body
because the body does keep score. Your body does keep
the receipts. Pay attention to how you feel when certain
people speak to you, when you leave certain environments. Are
you feeling drained? Are you feeling recharged? Pay attention to
(19:27):
those things. Number nine routine is self love having a routine.
You know, now that I have my first big girl apartment,
all the things you would think in all transparency that
oh yeah, like I'm on my own now, everything is good.
All of a sudden, I feel like I was. I'm
restructuring my life all over again. I'm waking up and
I'm like wait, okay, like yes, I can do whatever
(19:49):
I want, but like no one is here to like
make sure that you are doing what it is that
you need to do. You're also not really pressed because
you don't have something else to do. You don't have
your parents like telling you, hey, like I need you
to do this at this time, So you're trying to
get things done. You're functioning in that chaos, if that
makes sense, So you feel like you're able to be
(20:10):
more productive as opposed to not having that kind of
on your back where you'd be shocked. You actually do
spend a lot of the time procrastinating. A lot of
old things start to arise as you are kind of
on your healing journey. I can't really express it better
than that yet, but I hope you guys are understanding
what I'm saying. So discipline is what's also going to
(20:31):
help create freedom for you, not restriction, just like how
people feel about the Bible. People view it as restrictive,
but no, it's actually freedom, freedom from a lot of
things that can cause heartbreak. Like there's a reason why
you know, I believe in practicing abstinence. I know, ruffling
feathers here, it is what it is because it prevents
(20:53):
you from so much like you're able to move with clarity,
and I know people think.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Like, how is that even possible to be with someone
like that?
Speaker 1 (21:00):
It absolutely is possible to be with someone and have
that be present in your relationship dynamic. And you'll be
shocked with how much more clearer you think, and you're
less susceptible to the pitfalls of what happens when you
know intimacy happens prematurely, as well as the soul ties
that happen when intimacy happens, especially outside of the parameters
(21:21):
of marriage. Okay, I don't want to hear anything from you.
Number ten Delayed gratification builds confidence. Why you're teaching yourself persistence, right,
You're building that muscle when you go to the gym.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Do you have abs the next day? You don't look
at you. I'm just saying I don't either yet. Please.
When you you're trying to work toward.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
A result, it's teaching you the discipline to keep showing up.
And showing up is going to build your confidence because
it's it's exposure therapy.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
It's exposure therapy.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Even right now with my YouTube channel, those of you
that are seeing this, I'm very happy those of you
that are listening to I mean, I always have my
people that tune into the audio. I love you guys,
I'm very great for you guys. But the people that
are tuning into my YouTube channel, I mean, let's be
honest here, I have over two hundred thousand subscribers, and
I'm like, what is going on with my channel where
(22:15):
I feel like I'm not even getting the views for
the amount of work that I was consistently putting in,
give or take. I did take a hiatus, as we
know for those of you that have been tuning into
the show.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
But I'm still going to show up regardless.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna have
faith everything's gonna come together. I'm not going to throw
the channel away. I'm just simply not going to do that.
But the point is delayed gratification and any capacity is
going to build your confidence. It is exposure therapy. You
get used to showing up, even on TikTok. When I
first started TikTok Shop, I had no idea what was
(22:49):
going to come from it. I had no idea what
I was doing. I'm still learning. I'm a student of life, period,
but showing up has just given me the confidence. I
was very nervous. How is my audience going to perceive this?
I this is something I've always wanted to do. It's
honestly enabled me. It's been the biggest blessing. It's enabled
me to have relationships with brands that I really didn't
(23:10):
have before, even just from doing YouTube alone. And it
feels like it kind of was the missing bucket that
I'm glad that I've been able to fill in the
umbrella of Asia Christina.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Right.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
So, yeah, saying no now is going to strengthen your
yes later.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Saying no now will strengthen your yes later.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Why, Because you're able to move with intention and confidence
that you're yes is yes and your no is no.
Number eleven, Saying no protects your yes.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Your energy actually is finite, Okay, and it's also very valuable,
so you need to treat it as such. Moving along here,
faith and spiritual maturity. Okay, where all my believers at
at this particular point. Okay, if you're listening to this,
I'm sure we are similar, right, we are like minded?
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Right?
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Yeah, we want to hear the tea about dating, but
we want to talk about relationships with ourselves. We want
to talk about a relationship with Christ, all the things right,
obedience over outcomes. This is a lot more easier said
than done because faith isn't just about what you get,
but it's about who you become. So often we hear
that saying that says, actually, on the path to success,
(24:22):
it really is all about the journey. Right In hindsight,
it's true, right, it's all about the journey. It's kind
of like how people say a little bit principally, how
people say, like, oh, life is just not all about money,
but it's like, let me get there first, Zacher, have
that same perception, you know, but it's true, like, it
really is about who you're becoming, the journey of who
(24:43):
you are becoming on your way to get there, because
you will see success one day and when you look back,
you're like, Wow, I went through all these things, and
the beauty in my journey is who I became to
become and rest in the successful person that I am today.
Right Number thirteen, Discernment over desire, Yeah, play that back.
(25:04):
Discernment over desire. Not every open door is God. You're
sitting here walking through everything trying to put up you know.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Well, God would allow it to have it.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
God gives us choice power, honey, all right, some doors
are simply distractions. You need to be discerning enough to
understand which it actually is, all right. Number fourteen, Conviction
without condemntion. Growth does not require shame, all right. And
that is precisely the voice of the enemy making you
(25:36):
feel like, See, why do you even bother going to church.
You just went out with your friends last night, you
were drinking. You still struggle with the same sin. You
shouldn't even bother trying to change You're already So now
you're thinking in your head, you know what, Yeah, you're right.
Sin does what It pulls us further away from God, right,
So we don't want to come to God after we've
(25:57):
done something particularly shameful. If you think about the genesis
of Adam and Eve, like once they realized that they
were naked, they did what they hid from God once
they ate from the apple. So you have to think
about it like that, right, So when you think about
it from that perspective, you have to realize, okay, wait
a second, Yeah, the actions of me participating in behaviors
that are sinful that I know are not good for me,
(26:18):
and I should have the spiritual maturity by now to
avoid those things. Because I know I want to show
up in a different capacity and stretch my faith and
grow in my walk with God. There are certain behaviors
I cannot continue to participate in. It doesn't mean you're
not going to mess up sometimes, because you will, because
you're human, because we still live in this flesh. The
spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
We already know that.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
But having conviction from the Holy Spirit looks like, Okay, God,
I repent, I'm sorry, help me to change these ways
having a repentant heart rather than saying you know what,
just forget it, or even worse, being in iniquity and saying,
you know what, actually I don't feel anything. I don't
even care it is what it is. God is going
(27:00):
to forgive me. That sort of arrogance about it and
abusing God's grace. Everyone has a different threshold of grace.
No one knows what that is per person. You don't
even know what that is for yourself. You don't want
to test it. So when you have conviction from the
Holy Spirit, it looks a lot different than condemntion, which
condemntion brings about shame. Why are you trying? Just give up?
(27:22):
You know you're not going to get it together. Don't
even bother. Church is not for people that already have
their lives together. It's for people striving. Every day. You're falling,
you're getting up. You're falling, you're getting up. That's what
it's about. Number fifteen Prayer before public processing. God gets
first access, not the group chat. I'm telling you. I
(27:44):
know this is another thing that is easier said than done.
But you know how I gave this example in my
Bible study. You know how your initial thought is, oh,
my gosh, I need to call my girlfriend like God
wants that same relationship with you. And sometimes, you know,
to be honest, sometimes you might talk to your friend
first and then you'll talk to God after. But you
need to consult with God. You need to be consulting
(28:05):
with God, just like how you would your girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Number sixteen Peace is the confirmation. Chaos is not a
sign that you're aligned. Oh yes, that's why I'm experiencing
so much chaos, because this is.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
How it's supposed to be.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
I don't really believe that, just like how I'm not
of the belief that I need to fight, as far
as romantic dynamics go, I need to fight for love
that I have for a man i'm not. And that's
where a lot of you get tripped up. Is you
really think that I just need to show him that
I love him. I just need to prove to him
that he's loved. He's gone through so much in his life,
all right. Keep doing that, and you're gonna see that
(28:42):
he's going to put you through so many more situations
and your mind is going to be so used to
having to make up and compensate for where he lacks
and making excuses for him that you can't even tell
the difference if he's actually trying to play you or not,
because you're constantly making excuses for his behavior.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
And that, with that being.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Said, let's move on into emotional intelligence Number seventeen.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Feelings are data.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
They're not directives, all right, So I observe them and
I obey.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Them, right, that's all that.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
It is, Just like how I always say your feelings
are valid, but they're not always factual. So how someone's
making you feel is data, But it doesn't mean you
always have to act on how you're feeling all the time.
You'd be shocked when you do something that's called what
was that? Communicating and seeing how far that that gets
some of you. Yes, emotional intelligence. A lot of people
(29:39):
lack that. Number eighteen. Triggers are teachers. I know it sucks,
but they are. It really, really is, And as you heal,
you'll start to realize like, oh man, this is something
that I honestly need to work on. If something activates you,
there's something there to explore. Okay, why is this making
me perpetually angry? Why is this, you know, making me
(30:02):
feel like I am feeling envious. I'm feeling like I
want to dim my light. I'm feeling like I want
to shrink here, I'm feeling expansive here. You have to
actually realize and stop and take note of Okay, why
is this triggering me? This is here to teach me
something cliche but very true and imperative for your growth.
(30:23):
Number nineteen. Regulation is power Why because calm is authority.
We all know that the loudest person in the room
is not the most confident person.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Right.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Confidence speaks for itself, it's it exudes out of a person,
all Right. Authority is something that if a person is
truly confident they will have they'll speak with authority, and
it doesn't need to be the loudest, most boisterous person
in the room. It's calm and calmness also can mean authority.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Right.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
I can be compassionate without self betrayal. All right, So
having empathy for someone or a situation does not require
self sacrifice. You need to decern the two. You should
not be just throwing yourself into situations where you are
betraying yourself to fill someone else's cup. That does not
(31:23):
make sense because charity starts at home, all right. Number
twenty one, Closure is internal? Can I say that a
little louder? Closure is internal? Not everyone gets a conversation,
especially in my book, You'll get nothing out of me.
You will get a nothing burger from me. Okay, that's
(31:46):
what you're gonna get. Not everyone gets a conversation, and
that's okay. And I know I was joking there. I
kind of did drag that out. I've come to realize
that for me, if I am willing to have a
conversation with someone, it does mean that I'm interested in
resolving it. As an adult, you'll realize that when you
don't really want to have a conversation with someone, it's
because you actually really don't care.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
And that's also okay. It's okay to not care.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
It's okay that sometimes friendships they fall by the wayside
and there's nothing more to say right there, because what
are we gonna do bring up everything all over again?
Where I already know when I think about it, that
I made up my mind that I actually don't want
to be involved.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
With you anymore. I don't really see the point.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
I'm done, and so like it is what it is,
and I'm not interested in discussing it with you. And
I know that might be controversial, but it's like, like
we know how we got here, right.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
So like it is what it is.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
On the contrary, if I am interested in resolving things,
I one hundred percent want to hear you out, and
I do want to come to a place of resolution, right.
Number twenty two, moving into confidence and identity. Confidence is
actually self trust in motion in action, all right. It
(32:58):
is built on care keeping promises to yourself. Honoring your
word will actually start to build your confidence because you're
sitting here thinking, wait, if I'm doing what I said
I'm gonna do, then why would I tolerate someone else
not doing what they said that they're gonna do.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
Tell me how that makes sense, cause it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
So this is gonna help with your confidence when you
keep your promises to yourself.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
It can be anything.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
You know what, I'm going to make sure I start
eating a little bit more salid rather than the carbs.
Honor that I'm going to make sure that I am
ready at this time. Honor that I'm gonna try and
wake up twenty minutes earlier, fifteen minutes earlier, starting small
here so that you can.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Give yourself time to work your way up.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Sometimes we get a little bit too drastic, and then
when we fail, we kind of give give ourselves the
valid excuse of Okay, I see I couldn't do it.
I just can't do it, So just forget it right
when you should have just gone about it in a
more granular way. Okay, Number twenty three. I don't need
to be loud to be certain. Security does not announce itself.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
I'm here, I'm a celebrity.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Oh my god, Like I always say, like, I don't know,
Like there's this term as a millennial that I grew
up with where it says like it ain't tricking if
you got it, and I always just felt like it's
it will forever behoove me when I walk into certain
rooms and I'm feeling like the influencers are like acting
so like hey, like like that la type of vibe
(34:25):
that I just cannot stand. It's so strange to me,
very strange to me, Like didn't we we all are
in the same place. Clearly we all deserve to be here.
And if you really are that girl, you actually can
be kind? Do you do understand that?
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Right? Like it's giving very much.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
I still have something to prove, like you're not on
my level, Like I need to make someone feel like
they can't mess with me because I've been tried too
many times and my defense mechanism now is to just
be mean because I don't even want to let people
think that they can try me.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
That's what that's really giving.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
If we really want to call as beta Spade, like
I don't feel the need to exert my authority, my power,
my influence, my platform in any situation that I'm in,
because it speaks for itself, like there are always going
to be people that either like you or they don't.
End of story and be confident in that. All right,
(35:20):
So you don't need to be the loudest person to
be a secure person, you don't need to announce all
of your moves. I hate to bring it back to this. Wait, no,
I don't anyway vander Pump Rules. I was sorry vander
pum Villa. I don't really watch vander Pump Rules, Like
I haven't watched it since like twenty I can't remember.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Ah, there was this guy on there. I think his
name is Eric.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
He was on season one of vander Pum Villa, and
I immediately was put off by him because to me,
he just looked sinister in his eyes. My spirit was
decerning that something is just off about him. But he
was proving me right because he felt the need to
always exercise his authority being the villa manager over the
rest of his colleagues, Like, oh, yeah, Lisa is the
(36:02):
head of you know, the show, but.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
I'm the manager. You guys are gonna listen to me.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Do what I say, Do what I say, Hey, guys, Yeah,
this is what we need to do to make himself
feel important. That's honestly where it's stemming from. All right,
you don't need to announce everything you're doing and make
yourself always seem like you're doing the most thing.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
You're doing that because what are you proving? What are
you proving?
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Number twenty four comparison is information? Actually it's not instruction.
It's information not instruction. This means you can observe without
imitating people. It is possible. Yeah, we do find inspiration
from others. Nothing is really new under the sun, honestly,
(36:45):
And I know that that's a bold thing to say,
especially in a climate where a lot of people in
the social media escape are always accusing creators of copying
this and copying the and all these different things. Like
if I really cared enough, I'm sure I could claim
the same thing. But I think that there's also a
(37:05):
difference to where people are trying to convince you of
something that isn't real. And when you have a parasocial
relationship with someone, you can take on their same lens,
Like I know I have definitely been accused of that,
and me and that other person were nothing of the
sort the same. We don't speak the same, we don't
look the same, we didn't grow up the same. Like,
(37:27):
we really have nothing much in common other than probably
are the fact that we're black, Like I don't know,
like it's just like not.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
It was just so not a thing, and it was
just hilarious to.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Me because her audience would be like, yeah, you are
copying her, You are doing this, you are doing and
I'm like, this is actually scary because when I tell you,
like anyone that knows me in real life knows, like,
I'm not a hate watcher. I will never sit there
and be secretly creeping on your profile. And partially the
reason why I never even bothered looking at any of
this person's social media is because I didn't want to
(37:58):
see them like talk about me all day long and
like feeling sick to my stomach that someone can hate
you to this, to that extent when you did nothing
wrong to them, and they're just creating a whole narrative
about you that's taken a life of its own that
has really been like at the time, like very jarring
and confusing and like scary and hurtful. Right, So I
(38:23):
was not checking on that person at all, And to
be honest, I've actually never really watched any of that
person's videos even when we were friends, simply because like
at that point, like I thought we were friends, So
it's kind of like, I don't know, Like, you know,
you're like normally friends with someone, You're not gonna like
watch everything that they're doing because you know their in
real life. That's pretty much where it's themmed from. But yeah,
(38:44):
like you are capable of observing things without imitating it.
And it's so funny because speaking of the reverse cloud chasing,
like what people don't realize is like you can also
like kind of reverse imitate where you're convincing yourself that
like you've originated something, but like really you haven't, Like
it wasn't you you know AnyWho, there's nothing wrong with
(39:04):
finding inspiration from people, right, but you don't need to
copy exactly what they do. What I mean by this
all jokes aside, is you don't have to be someone
else and embody someone else in order to feel like, Okay,
I need to copy everything that they're doing so I
can make myself feel worthy because that's not authentic to you.
That's what I mean by that, Okay, Now, Number twenty
(39:26):
five Integrity builds unshakable confidence. Who am I when no
one's watching your integrity? We don't like people as a
society when they are doing things for show. Everything that
they do is performative. Oh yeah, did you see what
I did? I brought my cart back into you know
where the carts go. Yeah, you know, I just yeah,
(39:48):
I can't stand when people just like leave it out there.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
You know, that's just so weird to me. But did
you notice that I did it? Yeah? Yeah, because I'm
a good person.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
Like you're always trying to prove something, but who are
you behind the scenes when no one watches. That's called integrity,
my friends. Right, integrity builds unshakable confidence, you know why,
because you are who you say you are. I had
a friend at the time, and one of the things
that I really like, even though her and I are
no longer friends, but I love the fact that she
(40:16):
always used to tell me, like Asha, like you are
exactly who you present yourself to be. And it's true
I am. I am the same person. Of course, we
have different nuances to us. I may be more animated
in this situation or less in another situation, but the
core values, my ethics, my morals, my confidence remains the same,
(40:38):
right like my integrity remains the same. And that's where
my confidence stands from. Because I am who I present
to be end of story, all right. And lastly, number
twenty six. I'm responsible for my inner world. You are
responsible for your inner world, your thoughts, your boundaries, your healing.
(41:01):
That is called stewardship, and that has, ironically enough been
like one of my number one prayers is like, God,
help me to steward all that you haven't trusted me with. Well, okay,
you are responsible for it. I hate to quote Will Smith,
but I think he's the one that said we're not
always responsible for what happens to us, but it is
(41:21):
our job to heal from it, right, and that goes
for you too. So going into twenty twenty six, I
honestly don't even feel like we're chasing like a soft
life specifically, or even a hard life. We're choosing a
grounded life. How about that. That's something that's achievable for
all of us. A grounded life what feels good for you?
(41:42):
One that is built on boundaries, faith, emotional intelligence, and
of course quiet confidence. Okay, So, if this episode has
resonated with you, I want you to pick three of
the twenty six things that I mentioned and actually live
them out in the new year.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Honestly, start a little bit right now. Why not?
Speaker 1 (42:05):
You know, growth is not about doing more, it's about
becoming more. All Right, I'll talk to you guys in
the next episode. With that being said, do not forget
that I love you and God loves you.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
We are so back baby, all right. I love you
guys so much. La la
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