January 16, 2026 • 39 mins
Your brain is like a computer, ready to be reprogrammed for success!
In this game-changing episode of Quality Queen Control, Asha Christina dives into the neuroscience of discipline, revealing how to hardwire unbreakable habits, rewire limiting neural pathways, and upgrade your mindset for lasting transformation.
Using cutting-edge brain science combined with faith-based principles, Asha shares powerful strategies to build dopamine-driven routines, overcome procrastination, strengthen self-control, and create an unshakable daily structure.
Whether you're struggling with consistency, motivation, or old patterns holding you back, this episode will teach you how to literally re-code your brain for discipline, productivity, and abundance.
Level up from lazy habits to queen-level execution. It's time to hardwire the version of you God designed... disciplined, focused, and unstoppable!
In this game-changing episode of Quality Queen Control, Asha Christina dives into the neuroscience of discipline, revealing how to hardwire unbreakable habits, rewire limiting neural pathways, and upgrade your mindset for lasting transformation.
Using cutting-edge brain science combined with faith-based principles, Asha shares powerful strategies to build dopamine-driven routines, overcome procrastination, strengthen self-control, and create an unshakable daily structure.
Whether you're struggling with consistency, motivation, or old patterns holding you back, this episode will teach you how to literally re-code your brain for discipline, productivity, and abundance.
Level up from lazy habits to queen-level execution. It's time to hardwire the version of you God designed... disciplined, focused, and unstoppable!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
If I know that I have a goal, it requires
me to behave differently and have a routine. If I
don't do that, my brain is doesn't have anything to say.
Remember this, it's going off of whatever old patterns I've
already created, and that does not align with my new goal.
Hey babe, it's Asia Christina. This is quality, clean control.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
What is happening?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Hello, angels? How is everybody feeling? We are just rolling
with these episodes. I am so happy that I have decided, well,
my team and I have decided that we are going
to be increasing the output of the episodes. Well, actually,
if you didn't catch it earlier on in the week,
(00:50):
I spoke about doing two visual episodes a week, plus
also a audio podcast where I will just be getting
a little bit more personal or personable and also just
sharing my opinions and thoughts on just anything really life,
(01:12):
you know, what's going on with me, kind of like
my diary, that sort of vibe. And so that's basically
three podcast episodes that you guys will be getting for
me a week now. Okay, we used to only do
one a week, and now we are doing three a week.
Because I was like, listen, I am so grateful for
every single one of you that I've stuck by me
throughout this hiatus that I was taking. And I love
(01:37):
podcasting so much. It has truly been so much to
me and for me. It has been cathartic for me
to be able to talk and just to interview people.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I love the fact that I get.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
So much support on episodes that I do by myself
and also with others. I know that podcasting is generally
built off of, you know, conversations with other people, but
I think what makes my platform unique is that I
get a lot of love on my solo episodes a lot,
and that is something that will never ever ever stop
(02:11):
in this podcast because it has also taken the place
of my long form content that I used to post
before podcasting.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Was a thing on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
So I would never take that away because that's my
way of connecting with you guys in long form content.
So regardless of me having guests on and things like that,
I'm always gonna still do solo episodes like that's just
how it is, and I also just I love to
do it. So, as you guys can see from the title, today,
we're going to be talking about discipline, but discipline using
(02:45):
neuroscience and also how to build unshakable habits and just
kind of enhance our wiring. Right, how we are hardwired.
Our brains are like computers. And this is very relevant
to me because there have been plenty of times where
you know, I notice in my life I have struggled
(03:05):
more with discipline, and studying the science of exactly what's
going on and how the brain works has been very
helpful and beneficial in allowing me to build that muscle
of discipline and also consistency. So if you have ever
said you know, I need more discipline, I want you
to pause right there, because what you actually need is
(03:29):
a better understanding of what your brain is doing. All right,
So today's episode, it's not about forcing yourself to do more,
but it's about rewiring your nervous system so that discipline
actually becomes your default. You're training yourself to do the
hard things because the truth is, discipline people are not
(03:51):
stronger than you. Their brains are just trained differently. Every
single person that is successful has to go through the
same processes as anyone else. Right, And once you understand
how habits actually form at a neurological level, you're gonna
stop shaming yourself and start building systems that actually work
(04:15):
with your brain and not against it. So if you're
ready to stop starting over, let's talk more neuroscience. So
this is why discipline fails. So most people fail at
discipline because they think that it's a personality trait. Oh,
I'm not like that, And honestly, I used to be
(04:36):
the exact same person where I'd be like because honestly,
it still is a little bit of a struggle for
me to sometimes get up early consistently. There was one
point in like even twenty twenty four where I was
so obsessed with this like pilates class that I was
taking that I would force myself to get up and
I was taking seven a m. Pilates classes, not waking
(04:58):
up at seven am. I would in class at seven am,
and so I was really building that muscle and that habit,
and then I ended up getting sick, like whatever, It's
a different story, but the point is is, like, there
have been plenty of times in my life that I
have seen evidence of my consistency and my discipline, especially
when I first started my healthy lifestyle journey. I used
(05:20):
to go to the gym every single day. At that time,
I was going to La Fitness, and I would be
out the house by like eight am, and I would
just be going, going, going, like in my twenties. And
so I have seen myself like that, right, So when
you're constantly repeating yourself, you know, Oh, I'm just not
a morning person.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Oh I'm not this.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
There have been plenty of times where I've asked people
that wake up in the morning. I'm like, when you
wake up, are you not tired?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Like I don't get it.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Like the way that I feel tired is like different,
Like I almost feel sick waking up that early, you
know what I mean, Or waking up early consistently, Like
I my brain feels like it just prioritizes sleep more
than anything. So that ends up, of course, becoming your reality.
So if you say things like, oh, I'm just not
(06:07):
that disciplined, like I'll never be consistent, discipline is something
that you're actually born with, But neuroscience actually tells us
something very very different. Discipline is not willpower. Discipline is repetition.
You are what you do, my friends, every time you
repeat a behavior, you were strengthening a neural pathway in
(06:32):
your brain. It's like carving a groove. Right, Okay, that's
what you did. Then your brain is going to follow
that same you know, neuropathway that it already dug out.
So the deeper the groove, meaning the more you repeat it,
the easier the behavior becomes. So when you don't follow through,
(06:52):
it's not because you're lazy, it's because your brain is
following the older, stronger pathway. It's a deep groove, right,
So your brain is not really rebellious, it's just efficient. Again,
our brains are wired for safety, so it's going to
do what is familiar. I just want to also preface
(07:13):
this by saying, there are versions of yourself that you
have to become in order to reach a certain level.
This is why now understanding neuroscience, it takes on a
new meaning when when I hear the saying that says
you need to show up as you're higher self. The
reason it's important to do that is because what you're
(07:33):
doing is you're building new pathways in your brain so
that you're walking in alignment with that. So it's actually
a science. This is not just a really good quote,
like it's such a good quote, it's cute, Like, No,
it's actually science where you show up in that way
and then that literally becomes your reality.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
It is true.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
So if you are cause again, you are what you
repeatedly do. So if we are going to constantly keep failing,
like you have to fail forward Okay, not to quote
Will Smith and his slap him self, but.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
True, you fail forward and you realize.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Okay, out of the entire seven day week, I was
able to wake up two times early. That's progress because
last week you did none. I was able to push
myself to do a task. Like when you start to
build the muscle memory to do hard things, it becomes
easier for you. I was just talking to you know,
my producer about this, where I was telling him like,
(08:31):
when you are an organized person, the way your brain
naturally thinks is Okay, I took this, let me go
put this back. If I don't have time for things
because I am an organized person, I'll put it in
a pile so that I can address the things that
are in that pile once I do so.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
But I'm not.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Going to like put this here, put this here, put
this here. I build muscle memory, and I actually got
this from my dad. I build muscle memory by putting
certain things in the same places or it's rightful place
once I'm done using it, because you're not gonna want
to do the thing anymore tomorrow or later than you
are right now. You're honestly not You're waiting for something
(09:12):
that's not going to happen. And yeah, there are sometimes
exceptions to the rule. Like last night, I was so
exhausted that I did not feel like tidying up before
I had to start my day to get ready for
my call time.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
But I woke up.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I actually did make sure I woke up because I
hate mess that much that I made sure that I
tidied up the place before I started to film. But
if you're someone that struggles with that, then that's not
going to be the best idea because you're used to
leaving things around and creating a mess for yourself and
then having to clean it up. So you have to
challenge yourself. You have to show up in ways that
(09:48):
are calling you to be your better self, to be
your most improved self, And of course it's annoying, of
course it's uncomfortable. Of Course there's a lack of discipline
because you haven't created that narrow pathway yet and the
only way you're going to do it is by showing
up in action and doing it. The antidote to procrastination
is just action. That's all that it, honestly is. It's
(10:12):
as easy and also as difficult as that. You have
to show up in action, and so there's going to
be things that are required of you that are genuinely
different from how you used to show up before. You know,
you're used to having to create a mess, and then
you wait all the way to the weekend to finally
do it, and now you're upset because on weekends you
(10:34):
want to free up your time to create the rest
of your week, but now you're stuck fixing what you've
done throughout the week, So now you can't even really
do that. Now you're frustrated, and then you just repeat
the cycle. Oh, I'm not going to do it again,
but then we all know you end up doing it again.
Why because our brains constantly do what is familiar to
us until we start to show up consistently doing the
hard things. You can do hard things. You can do
(10:56):
things not even that it's necessarily hard, but things that
you don't want to do, and you have to back
to honor yourself and so me getting back into my
organization in neuroscience.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Bag.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I have been educating myself a lot on this subject
matter as of late, and studying discipline and habits and
all the things. And I love the Pomodoro method, and
it's basically where you time block, so you say, all right,
I'm going to perform this task for an hour, all right,
and then I'm going to have a ten minute break.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
So you know, when you work, you work.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
When you play, you play that type of vibe, okay,
and you honor that because consistency builds confidence in yourself,
because you're building trust in yourself that you do what
you simply say you're going to do. When you break
those promises with yourself, I'm telling you from experience, that's
when all the other pressures around you. Your mom and
(11:50):
dad wants you to do this, your boyfriend wants you
to do this. Your friends also want to know if
you can show it for this, and you feel so
much overwhelmed and in turn turmoil because you didn't even
finish the things that you wanted to for yourself. So
every time, like it's very difficult to show up in
other places when there's so much chaos and discord in
(12:13):
your own mind. So you can't even figure out what
you truly want to do and what you have time
to do because you're not even meeting your own needs.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
So everyone else.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Having, you know, kind of demands on you is just
creating and adding more chaos to your life.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Speaker 1 (12:33):
So this leads me into talking about the habit loop.
So let's break down how habits actually form. Every habit
lives in your basal ganglia. All right, this is the
part of your brain that's responsible for automation. This is
why you can drive home without thinking or checking your
phone or even realizing it. The other day, I was
(12:53):
driving to the ninety nine cents store Dollar General. I
was on the phone, so I was just I typed
into GPS Dollar General and my next thing I know,
I was getting out my car and walking in Walmart.
It was the most bizarre thing. So I'm on the
phone and it wasn't until I was in Walmart. I
said to my friend Ange, I go, why am I
(13:15):
in Walmart? And I told you I was going a
Dollar General. She has my location on and she was like, yeah,
I was wondering why you were walking in there, and
I said.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I don't know how I chose the GPS to take
me somewhere else, and I still ended up at a
place that was, like, you know, at a pretty good
distance from my house. And I was like, that's so weird,
Like I don't understand how that ended up happening. So AnyWho,
the point of me bringing that up is, for me,
going to that place was like muscle memory because it's
(13:48):
the only area in my area that I live that
I'm familiar with. Every other area where I live, I
don't know where anything is, So again, I did not
even that was a muscle memory for me. I don't
even know if you were to ask me the streets
or anything, I wouldn't even know it. I just know
how to get there. So habits follow a simple loop.
(14:09):
It's a queue, a routine, and a reward. So the
que tells your brain something familiar is about to happen.
The routine is the behavior, and the reward is what
tells your brain remember this. So here's where most people
(14:30):
mess up. They focus on the routine, but they ignore
the reward. Remember, the routine is the behavior, the reward
is what tells your brain. Remember this, So if you
get stuck in the routine, you get stuck in the behavior,
(14:51):
and then you ignore what your brain is telling you
to remember what does that mean? So your brain, it
does not repeat it is good for you. It repeats
what feels rewarding. So yeah, it's gonna feel really good
to pick up your phone because you can predict the
outcome of you picking up your phone. You see, okay,
(15:13):
I have facts popping up on my phone and it
says a whales Genitalia is called a dork. Thank you
so much. So you see just that quickly you can
just get distracted. You get on your phone, You see
the emails, You see all the pop up ads like
you see your friends texting you. You see I have
a bunch of notifications. Obviously I'm an influencer. But the
(15:33):
point is you see a lot of things. We all
have things on our phone that are very engaging. Okay,
so I know what to expect when I pick up
my phone. I can go on TikTok, I can go anywhere.
All of us can do these things. However, if I
know that I have a goal, let's say, to build
a business, I don't I have hopes of what the
outcome is going to be, but I don't necessarily know
exactly how it's going to go. So that uncertainty requires
(15:57):
me to show up and behave different It requires a
different routine. Remember the routine is the behavior. It requires
me to behave differently and have a routine. If I
don't do that, my brain is doesn't have anything to say.
Remember this, it's going off of whatever old patterns I've
already created, and that does not align with my new goal.
(16:20):
If my new goal is to start a business, what's
required of me.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
To do that?
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I don't know yet. I have to build that routine out.
Am I making sense?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
All right?
Speaker 1 (16:31):
So? Yes, So if your habit has no emotional or
neurological payoff, your brain is going to drop it every
single time. So when you think about little, you know,
low hanging fruit necessarily like your phone that has a
both honestly neurologically and also emotionally, that has a quick payoff.
(16:52):
But when you're doing something like okay, you're trying to
be consistent at the gym, it's hard on you neurologically
and it's also hard on you emotionally. You got to
muster up the discipline to do it, the courage to
stay consistent. Then it causes a certain level of awareness
of Okay, if this is my goal and I want
to look like this, and I want to get from
(17:13):
point A to point B, how am I going to
do that? If all my habits remain exactly the same.
You have to implement some sort of routine there so
that your brain says, remember this, and you have to
do it long enough to even get there. So that
moves me into dopamine and motivation. Now, dopamine is not
(17:35):
the pleasure chemical. It is the motivational chemical or motivation chemical.
It is released in anticipation, not just achievement, because if
it was just achievement, then it would be a little
bit simpler to do the hard things because we know
getting that sense of achievement will feel so good we'll
(17:57):
just keep repeating it. So this means your brain is
actually more about the progress than perfection. And this is
why it's also so hard to stop, hard to start.
Sometimes the hardest part is starting a lot of the
times because you're not even implementing the things that's going
to you know, give you the dopamine so that your
(18:18):
brain feels the progress of what it.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Is that you're doing.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
And honestly, this makes a lot of sense to me
because it makes me think of when people say it's
all about the journey to getting to where you need
to be, because one day you will arrive. If you're
doing things right, you will arrive. But it really is
about the journey. It's the becoming to get to that
version of yourself. And this is why people they burn
(18:42):
out sometimes when their goals maybe feel too big, because
your brain doesn't feel rewarded often enough. So that means
if you want discipline, you need to give your brain
consistent feedback that says this is working, this is working. Okay,
I'm seeing that there's validated evidence, and sometimes that's hard
(19:05):
because for certain things, just like social media for instance,
it's the long game. You're not always going to see
an immediate benefit. And that's what presents a bigger challenge
where you're feeling like, oh my gosh, I'm not seeing
any evidence that this is actually something that I should
continue with. Obviously you have to use zerment, but giving
(19:27):
your brain constant feedback to say this actually is working.
Talk to yourself and say like it has to be
everyone starts from zero. I started from zero at one
point too, just like anyone else. I have to be
so encouraged about the progress that I'm making. Get lost
in the progress and the process that I'm not necessarily
(19:48):
solely focused on, all right, like are people watching this
or whatever the case is, because girl, especially when it
comes to YouTube right now obviously until we hit our
next goal of three hundred k. You know, it can
feel sometimes discouraging, like oh, man, like I'm I know
I have a lot of subscribers, but I'm like, dang,
(20:09):
I want more consistent views.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I want this, I want that.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
You know, we all feel that way about our lives,
and it can feel like, yeah, it can feel discouraging
when you don't feel like you're seeing that immediate uh
you know, evidence, and it feels a little bit like
the input is not matching the output. I totally understand that.
But when you talk to yourself and you're like, no,
(20:33):
this is working, it does bring me joy, all right,
Like I know that I'm working in service of the
bigger picture, and nothing that's worth having is going to
just come in three seconds. It's just honestly not, It
really isn't. And This is why micro habits can change
your life. You know, five minutes done consistently will be
(20:58):
one hour done a case visionally, and this is from
a neurological perspective. So if you're going to do something
like every once, it's better to just hop on the
tremo for at least five minutes than to just do
it for one hour once every three months.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Do you understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
So now let's talk about self control, right. This is
discipline and your prefrontal cortex.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I feel like a scientist.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Oh my gosh, I'm telling you reading just does wonders,
okay it. People used to ask me all the time,
how do I talk the way that I do? I mean,
I know that they were also talking about my voice,
like one. I don't have an answer for that because
my voice is my voice, It's how I talk. And
(21:47):
I also am aware that my voice has a lot
of range to it.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
It's very dynamic. Sometimes my voice is very can be
very high pitch.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Sometimes it could just be a little bit deeper, maybe
like now when I'm just having conversation. But I also
am aware that I can do little voices and things
like that. I don't think that's something I can teach someone,
especially like I just cannot teach that. However, another side
to that, I think is largely attributed to my intelligence
(22:18):
when I speak, and I do attribute a lot of
that to the fact that I'm a ferocious reader. I
really really do enjoy reading books, especially now that I've
picked it back up again. I kind of, you know,
was life was lifing, and so I was like taking
(22:38):
a little bit.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Of a hiatus on reading as much.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
But I have made it absolutely fundamental for this year,
and I have already written down the specific books that
I want to read for the year. Anything else on
top of that is just icing on the cake. But
it has truly really like it just adds to my range,
and it also does make you more of an intelligent person.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
It just does. So I digress.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
So self control, right, Your prefrontal cortex is responsible for planning, focusing,
and also decision making. It's also the part of the
brain that gets tired the fastest.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
So this is.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Why you can actually be disciplined in the morning, but
then you're like reckless at night, like everything just goes
out the window, because decision fatigue actually is a real thing.
So discipline is not necessarily about trying harder. It's about
choosing when to execute, so your most important habits should
(23:41):
happen when your brain is the freshest. This is why
people place a lot of emphasis on you know what,
You shouldn't pick up your phone and start scrolling through
social media as soon as you wake up, because it
releases certain parts of your brain and activates certain parts
of your brain that are actually going to make you
less productive in the day, because the likelihood of you
(24:05):
hopping on social media for exactly five minutes and then
having the very strong discipline to just hop off and
hop out of bed and get your day started is
very just slim to none. But no, it's easy to
scroll on because you're thinking, okay, I need to wake up,
all right, social media is keeping me awake now.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
But now you're comfortable.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Now you're warm, and you're comfortable in your bed, and
you're scrolling through social media and you don't want to
get up because you're just comfy.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
And you're able to stay informed.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
And the next thing you know, you're answering a couple
emails and all these different things, and then the list
just goes on. Next thing you know, it took you
like two and a half hours to get up. Now
you want to eat something, so now that's going to
take some preparation. Then you feel like you maybe want to,
you know, move your body a little bit. But then
you're like vacinating between should I start my day or
should I just like get on the treadmill right now?
(24:54):
You know, I think I'll just do it later. I'll
just like to make time later to do it. Now
you're just trying to get your day started. But then
as you're eating, you're like, maybe I should hop on
social media again, maybe I should watch a show like maybe,
And they like you already started out by like rewarding
yourself with something that is not fruitful for you. Do
you understand, like you really have to train your brain
(25:16):
to be disciplined, to not do certain things and respect
yourself and honor yourself by simply not doing it doesn't
mean it's not going to happen on occasion and things
like that. But while you are trying to establish these
qualities and establish and create your routine and your discipline,
everything counts. Everything absolutely counts. So stop asking yourself to
(25:43):
be disciplined. At the end of the day when your
nervous system is depleted. This is why the later and
later and later it gets in the day. You're starting
your day at four thirty pm, it's less motivating. It
is for anyone. Like it's yeah, you can figure out
ways to still be productive through it, but it's not
as motivating as if you started your day at nine
(26:04):
or ten. Like, it's just not as motivating. So that's
not growth, that's self sabotage. You're validating the fact that, oh, yeah,
like me, I'm just not really up for it. I'm
really just not feeling it. But like you didn't even
give yourself a chance to prove anything that you are
capable of starting actually earlier, So you're basing your actual
(26:25):
feelings of Man, I don't feel like I'm working at
my capacity right now. You're not going to be working
at your capacity right now. It's literally five pm. Why
would you be working at capacity starting to work at
your best at that time? Why would you get so
motivated to start your day at three pm. It's not impossible, obviously,
but on a consistent basis, it doesn't make sense to
(26:48):
start at that time right There's a reason why many
successful people they do tend to create routines and stick
to them, you know, and the earlier people do things
tends to always be the best, you know, the better.
Not everyone needs to wake up I suppose at five
am to do things, even though it is my aspiration.
(27:10):
But there are a certain magic in a certain window
of starting your work that you just will not get
after a certain time, right, You're just not And that's
really a science, okay, because your prefrontal cortex, which again
it's responsible for focus, for planning and decision making, if
(27:34):
that that's not going to just be activated in at
five pm. And then now you're thinking, oh man, well
I kind of wanted to dinner. And then life if
you think about life around you, everything's backwards.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
You're starting your day.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Everyone is like coming home from work, they are ending
their day, they're looking to wind down. You're just getting started.
It just creates a lot of discord, right, and that
when you do that consistently, that is you sabotaging yourself.
You're sabotaging yourself. You're not even giving yourself a chance
(28:08):
to make things make sense. And so then it's continuing
to repeat a pattern and a pathway, a neuropathway in
your brain that says, yeah, I don't get things done. Yeah,
I just can't wait because you're not showing up and
doing the things that may be uncomfortable, the hard things, right,
you're not showing yourself that you can do it. You're
(28:29):
not showing yourself that and proving to yourself, no, I
can show up differently. So how do we rewire our
brains for discipline? So step one, you need to make
the que obvious. This is not my thoughts, This is
based on research that I've done from James Clear's book
Atomic Habits great read for everyone in the entire universe.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
So make the queue obvious.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Your environment shapes your behavior more than your intention. I
remember listening to James Clear's book over the past couple
of days and he was even saying, if you know
you want to go to the gym, and it's a
struggle for you to get up and go to the gym,
make sure that you lay the clothes out at the
(29:16):
very least right before you sift through it, at the
bottom of your draw at night. If you know you
want to study something or read a book, the book
shouldn't be in your living room in a cabinet. All
the way at the bottom, like it needs to be
next to your bed in order for you to have
direct access to it. Right, Step two, make the habit small.
(29:39):
He really emphasizes being one percent better every single day. However,
he also says, if you don't become one percent better,
you're actually becoming worse. So if it's one percent better
for the entire year, I think he said, it's like
thirty seven times better or.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Something like that.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
And in the you know, on the contrary, if you
don't make any progress, you're actually thirty seven times worse
than you were.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
So don't don't.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Let's not preclude the fact that you actually can go backwards. So, yeah,
you want to make a small habit, so if it
takes more than two minutes, your brain will naturally resist it.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
I hope that brings you peace.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Know that your fight, you're you're like trying to discipline
your brain like it's a child. Okay, Like enough, we're good,
we're safe. Like I, yes, I'm gonna have to study
for X amount of time Like yes, me wanting to
read a book is going to require me to read
for you know, at least a half an hour, Like
you're okay, So if it takes more than two minutes,
(30:41):
your brain is naturally going to resist it because it
wants to do what's easiest. And this is why you're
constantly picking up your phone everything, everywhere. Every time you're
in the middle of a task, you're picking up your phone.
You're picking up your phone. You're picking up your phone.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Because it's easy to do.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
It's an immediate reward, and it takes seconds for you
to get that reward, so your brain wants to do
what the easiest thing is. Step three is you want
to attach a reward track it, celebrate it, feel it seriously.
And I say this genuinely as someone that really never
truly felt comfortable celebrating my wins. My brain was always
(31:16):
focused on the next thing, and the next thing and
the next thing, and I was never able to really
feel the capacity of my success and the things that
I've achieved because I'd always be focused on the next thing.
The target was always moving. But in hindsight, it actually
made me less confident of a person. I wouldn't say
it made me an insecure person, but it definitely it
(31:40):
felt like I just didn't hold the capacity to feel
happy and feel the success of the things that I
was doing, which just yeat, it did give me low
confidence in terms of new things that I wanted to
try and explore. I think because I never really felt
(32:00):
the gravity of what I've achieved, and I almost wouldn't
even let myself for whatever reason. So yeah, you should
track things. You should celebrate them, and you should feel
grateful and celebratory of what you have accomplished.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
You should.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
And step four is repeating before optimizing, so consistency bills mylin.
Speed comes later. It's a matter in the brain, That's
what mylin is. It's some sort of like brain matter.
So your brain, it doesn't necessarily need the perfect conditions, right,
but it needs more predictable patterns, all right, Like you're
(32:40):
going to be chasing perfection forever, right, but it needs
predictable patterns. And you have to create an environment that
makes it actually almost ridiculous for you to not do things.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
That's how you have to treat yourself.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Like it's ridiculous for you to have not you know,
put the dishes on the dish rack because the dishract
is right there. Why would you just wash the dishes
and then just leave them in the sink? No, put
them on the dishrack to dry because it's right there.
So make things so ridiculously easy for yourself that it's
(33:13):
ridiculous to not do it. Okay, what do you do
when motivation disappears? Because motivation will leave you? Okay, I
think we all know this. Motivation will absolutely leave you,
and discipline stays when your systems stay.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Again.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
I was listening to Atomic Habits and I think James
Clear was saying something about everyone has goals. Poor people
and rich people all have goals. The difference is one
party is actually executing them the other isn't. But what's
never going to fail you is your systems. You have
to have systems build in place to support your goals
(33:51):
and actually technically to reach your goals.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
You can't just have.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Goals and no systems, because then how are you going
to actually achieve them. So one stays when your systems
also stay. You've already created the system of operations. Now
it's muscle memory to just show up consistently and do it.
Show up consistently and do it. However, if you rely
(34:14):
on emotion, you will always be inconsistent.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Out of a whole entire week.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
You don't how many times you can feel like not
doing anything the entire week. Numerous times you will genuinely
feel why we always want to relax, that's just human nature.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
We always want to relax.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
We always want to just do nothing because it feels good,
it's easy, and it feels in a way like, oh,
self preservation, but really it's actually self sabotage. I'm not
saying overwork yourself to the point of you know, exhaustion
or anything, but I'm saying, like, you know, the difference
between you actually not forcing yourself to do things and
(34:55):
build the systems that are needed in order for you
to acquire success versus you know, just literally trying to
make an excuse for literally everything. Okay, you guys are
understanding what I'm saying. So if you rely on structure,
your brain will follow, meaning the systems that you created
when you rely on that structure. Okay, every time I
(35:16):
come in the house, I'm going to put my key
on this hook. Every time I come in the house,
I'm going to put my key in this catch all
bowl muscle memory. I'm making it easy so that I
don't have to lose things. I have my Bible at
my nightstand, I have a Bible at my island, in
my kitchen, depending on where I want to read it.
(35:37):
Like I put things in certain places because I have
stationed where I'm doing what, which is also why things
need to have a place and structure. Structure meaning in
all things, if there's no structure to your room, your
living situation, there rarely can be structuring your brain. Right,
(35:57):
You're always going to kind of feel scattered. That's why
every day is going to feel vastly different from the last.
You need to create some sort of predictability for yourself
so you know you're giving your brain arrest and your brain.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Knows exactly what to expect and show up.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
To really carve in those grooves for in your neuropathway
to create habits that support the version of yourself that
you want to be. So, like I said, it's not
really about being hardening yourself. It's about being honest with
your biology. This is how we are wired and this
is why this keeps happening. So here is your challenge,
(36:35):
right for the next seven days, pick one habit, make
it small, make it obvious, and make it rewarding and
watch how your brain responds. I had a therapist a
couple of years ago, and I remember her telling me like,
I was like, you know what, I just I almost
felt like I didn't need to be rewarded for things,
and she was like, why not, Like you should be.
You should have a reward. So your reward for waking
(36:56):
up early is, yeah, you get to go to get
that cup of coffee, or you know, you get to
go for the drive in the morning or something like that.
Like there needs to be a reward for what you're doing.
And it's funny because I feel like, as adults, we've
been trained in school that like you have to kind
(37:17):
of have this discipline and kind of suffer through it,
and I don't find that to be entirely true. I
think that even as adults, there are systems that we
can build where there is a little bit of a
reward as well, whether it's something as obvious as Okay,
I lost ten pounds, I get a new outfit, or
(37:37):
whether or not that's you know, Okay, if I do
my laundry, I can catch up with my friend for
an hour while we're on the phone. Okay, if I
do my email then and I finish all my work
by eight thirty pm tonight, then I can watch a show,
the show that I always wanted to watch. It's more
of like delayed gratification, and you're giving yourself reward at
(37:58):
the end.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
We all need.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
That's why when we work, we get paid for the
work that we're doing, because there is a reward for
what you're doing. Whether you enjoyed or not, not my business,
but the point is you're getting a reward, right.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
So, yes, you're not undisciplined.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
You were just untrained and training changes everything. Okay, So
if this episode has helped you, I want you to
send this to someone who is tired of starting over.
And you should always choose alignment and not exhaustion. Okay,
So make sure that you guys are building your systems,
(38:35):
creating the discipline that you need. And I really hope
that this was insightful and helpful for you, because I
know that it really has been monumental for me in
understanding how my brain works and using that to create
better systems for myself to set myself up for more success.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
So I hope that that helps.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
And that it encourages you, and it gives you a
lot of answers on why you may not have been
feeling up for doing certain things and why you may
have not been able to show up consistently in certain areas.
So with that being said, do not forget that I
love you and God loves you.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
I'll see you guys in my next episode HH
If I know that I have a goal, it requires
me to behave differently and have a routine. If I
don't do that, my brain is doesn't have anything to say.
Remember this, it's going off of whatever old patterns I've
already created, and that does not align with my new goal.
Hey babe, it's Asia Christina. This is quality, clean control.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
What is happening?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Hello, angels? How is everybody feeling? We are just rolling
with these episodes. I am so happy that I have decided, well,
my team and I have decided that we are going
to be increasing the output of the episodes. Well, actually,
if you didn't catch it earlier on in the week,
(00:50):
I spoke about doing two visual episodes a week, plus
also a audio podcast where I will just be getting
a little bit more personal or personable and also just
sharing my opinions and thoughts on just anything really life,
(01:12):
you know, what's going on with me, kind of like
my diary, that sort of vibe. And so that's basically
three podcast episodes that you guys will be getting for
me a week now. Okay, we used to only do
one a week, and now we are doing three a week.
Because I was like, listen, I am so grateful for
every single one of you that I've stuck by me
throughout this hiatus that I was taking. And I love
(01:37):
podcasting so much. It has truly been so much to
me and for me. It has been cathartic for me
to be able to talk and just to interview people.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I love the fact that I get.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
So much support on episodes that I do by myself
and also with others. I know that podcasting is generally
built off of, you know, conversations with other people, but
I think what makes my platform unique is that I
get a lot of love on my solo episodes a lot,
and that is something that will never ever ever stop
(02:11):
in this podcast because it has also taken the place
of my long form content that I used to post
before podcasting.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Was a thing on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
So I would never take that away because that's my
way of connecting with you guys in long form content.
So regardless of me having guests on and things like that,
I'm always gonna still do solo episodes like that's just
how it is, and I also just I love to
do it. So, as you guys can see from the title, today,
we're going to be talking about discipline, but discipline using
(02:45):
neuroscience and also how to build unshakable habits and just
kind of enhance our wiring. Right, how we are hardwired.
Our brains are like computers. And this is very relevant
to me because there have been plenty of times where
you know, I notice in my life I have struggled
(03:05):
more with discipline, and studying the science of exactly what's
going on and how the brain works has been very
helpful and beneficial in allowing me to build that muscle
of discipline and also consistency. So if you have ever
said you know, I need more discipline, I want you
to pause right there, because what you actually need is
(03:29):
a better understanding of what your brain is doing. All right,
So today's episode, it's not about forcing yourself to do more,
but it's about rewiring your nervous system so that discipline
actually becomes your default. You're training yourself to do the
hard things because the truth is, discipline people are not
(03:51):
stronger than you. Their brains are just trained differently. Every
single person that is successful has to go through the
same processes as anyone else. Right, And once you understand
how habits actually form at a neurological level, you're gonna
stop shaming yourself and start building systems that actually work
(04:15):
with your brain and not against it. So if you're
ready to stop starting over, let's talk more neuroscience. So
this is why discipline fails. So most people fail at
discipline because they think that it's a personality trait. Oh,
I'm not like that, And honestly, I used to be
(04:36):
the exact same person where I'd be like because honestly,
it still is a little bit of a struggle for
me to sometimes get up early consistently. There was one
point in like even twenty twenty four where I was
so obsessed with this like pilates class that I was
taking that I would force myself to get up and
I was taking seven a m. Pilates classes, not waking
(04:58):
up at seven am. I would in class at seven am,
and so I was really building that muscle and that habit,
and then I ended up getting sick, like whatever, It's
a different story, but the point is is, like, there
have been plenty of times in my life that I
have seen evidence of my consistency and my discipline, especially
when I first started my healthy lifestyle journey. I used
(05:20):
to go to the gym every single day. At that time,
I was going to La Fitness, and I would be
out the house by like eight am, and I would
just be going, going, going, like in my twenties. And
so I have seen myself like that, right, So when
you're constantly repeating yourself, you know, Oh, I'm just not
a morning person.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Oh I'm not this.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
There have been plenty of times where I've asked people
that wake up in the morning. I'm like, when you
wake up, are you not tired?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Like I don't get it.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Like the way that I feel tired is like different,
Like I almost feel sick waking up that early, you
know what I mean, Or waking up early consistently, Like
I my brain feels like it just prioritizes sleep more
than anything. So that ends up, of course, becoming your reality.
So if you say things like, oh, I'm just not
(06:07):
that disciplined, like I'll never be consistent, discipline is something
that you're actually born with, But neuroscience actually tells us
something very very different. Discipline is not willpower. Discipline is repetition.
You are what you do, my friends, every time you
repeat a behavior, you were strengthening a neural pathway in
(06:32):
your brain. It's like carving a groove. Right, Okay, that's
what you did. Then your brain is going to follow
that same you know, neuropathway that it already dug out.
So the deeper the groove, meaning the more you repeat it,
the easier the behavior becomes. So when you don't follow through,
(06:52):
it's not because you're lazy, it's because your brain is
following the older, stronger pathway. It's a deep groove, right,
So your brain is not really rebellious, it's just efficient. Again,
our brains are wired for safety, so it's going to
do what is familiar. I just want to also preface
(07:13):
this by saying, there are versions of yourself that you
have to become in order to reach a certain level.
This is why now understanding neuroscience, it takes on a
new meaning when when I hear the saying that says
you need to show up as you're higher self. The
reason it's important to do that is because what you're
(07:33):
doing is you're building new pathways in your brain so
that you're walking in alignment with that. So it's actually
a science. This is not just a really good quote,
like it's such a good quote, it's cute, Like, No,
it's actually science where you show up in that way
and then that literally becomes your reality.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
It is true.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
So if you are cause again, you are what you
repeatedly do. So if we are going to constantly keep failing,
like you have to fail forward Okay, not to quote
Will Smith and his slap him self, but.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
True, you fail forward and you realize.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Okay, out of the entire seven day week, I was
able to wake up two times early. That's progress because
last week you did none. I was able to push
myself to do a task. Like when you start to
build the muscle memory to do hard things, it becomes
easier for you. I was just talking to you know,
my producer about this, where I was telling him like,
(08:31):
when you are an organized person, the way your brain
naturally thinks is Okay, I took this, let me go
put this back. If I don't have time for things
because I am an organized person, I'll put it in
a pile so that I can address the things that
are in that pile once I do so.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
But I'm not.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Going to like put this here, put this here, put
this here. I build muscle memory, and I actually got
this from my dad. I build muscle memory by putting
certain things in the same places or it's rightful place
once I'm done using it, because you're not gonna want
to do the thing anymore tomorrow or later than you
are right now. You're honestly not You're waiting for something
(09:12):
that's not going to happen. And yeah, there are sometimes
exceptions to the rule. Like last night, I was so
exhausted that I did not feel like tidying up before
I had to start my day to get ready for
my call time.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
But I woke up.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I actually did make sure I woke up because I
hate mess that much that I made sure that I
tidied up the place before I started to film. But
if you're someone that struggles with that, then that's not
going to be the best idea because you're used to
leaving things around and creating a mess for yourself and
then having to clean it up. So you have to
challenge yourself. You have to show up in ways that
(09:48):
are calling you to be your better self, to be
your most improved self, And of course it's annoying, of
course it's uncomfortable. Of Course there's a lack of discipline
because you haven't created that narrow pathway yet and the
only way you're going to do it is by showing
up in action and doing it. The antidote to procrastination
is just action. That's all that it, honestly is. It's
(10:12):
as easy and also as difficult as that. You have
to show up in action, and so there's going to
be things that are required of you that are genuinely
different from how you used to show up before. You know,
you're used to having to create a mess, and then
you wait all the way to the weekend to finally
do it, and now you're upset because on weekends you
(10:34):
want to free up your time to create the rest
of your week, but now you're stuck fixing what you've
done throughout the week, So now you can't even really
do that. Now you're frustrated, and then you just repeat
the cycle. Oh, I'm not going to do it again,
but then we all know you end up doing it again.
Why because our brains constantly do what is familiar to
us until we start to show up consistently doing the
hard things. You can do hard things. You can do
(10:56):
things not even that it's necessarily hard, but things that
you don't want to do, and you have to back
to honor yourself and so me getting back into my
organization in neuroscience.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Bag.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I have been educating myself a lot on this subject
matter as of late, and studying discipline and habits and
all the things. And I love the Pomodoro method, and
it's basically where you time block, so you say, all right,
I'm going to perform this task for an hour, all right,
and then I'm going to have a ten minute break.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
So you know, when you work, you work.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
When you play, you play that type of vibe, okay,
and you honor that because consistency builds confidence in yourself,
because you're building trust in yourself that you do what
you simply say you're going to do. When you break
those promises with yourself, I'm telling you from experience, that's
when all the other pressures around you. Your mom and
(11:50):
dad wants you to do this, your boyfriend wants you
to do this. Your friends also want to know if
you can show it for this, and you feel so
much overwhelmed and in turn turmoil because you didn't even
finish the things that you wanted to for yourself. So
every time, like it's very difficult to show up in
other places when there's so much chaos and discord in
(12:13):
your own mind. So you can't even figure out what
you truly want to do and what you have time
to do because you're not even meeting your own needs.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
So everyone else.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Having, you know, kind of demands on you is just
creating and adding more chaos to your life.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Speaker 1 (12:33):
So this leads me into talking about the habit loop.
So let's break down how habits actually form. Every habit
lives in your basal ganglia. All right, this is the
part of your brain that's responsible for automation. This is
why you can drive home without thinking or checking your
phone or even realizing it. The other day, I was
(12:53):
driving to the ninety nine cents store Dollar General. I
was on the phone, so I was just I typed
into GPS Dollar General and my next thing I know,
I was getting out my car and walking in Walmart.
It was the most bizarre thing. So I'm on the
phone and it wasn't until I was in Walmart. I
said to my friend Ange, I go, why am I
(13:15):
in Walmart? And I told you I was going a
Dollar General. She has my location on and she was like, yeah,
I was wondering why you were walking in there, and
I said.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I don't know how I chose the GPS to take
me somewhere else, and I still ended up at a
place that was, like, you know, at a pretty good
distance from my house. And I was like, that's so weird,
Like I don't understand how that ended up happening. So AnyWho,
the point of me bringing that up is, for me,
going to that place was like muscle memory because it's
(13:48):
the only area in my area that I live that
I'm familiar with. Every other area where I live, I
don't know where anything is, So again, I did not
even that was a muscle memory for me. I don't
even know if you were to ask me the streets
or anything, I wouldn't even know it. I just know
how to get there. So habits follow a simple loop.
(14:09):
It's a queue, a routine, and a reward. So the
que tells your brain something familiar is about to happen.
The routine is the behavior, and the reward is what
tells your brain remember this. So here's where most people
(14:30):
mess up. They focus on the routine, but they ignore
the reward. Remember, the routine is the behavior, the reward
is what tells your brain. Remember this, So if you
get stuck in the routine, you get stuck in the behavior,
(14:51):
and then you ignore what your brain is telling you
to remember what does that mean? So your brain, it
does not repeat it is good for you. It repeats
what feels rewarding. So yeah, it's gonna feel really good
to pick up your phone because you can predict the
outcome of you picking up your phone. You see, okay,
(15:13):
I have facts popping up on my phone and it
says a whales Genitalia is called a dork. Thank you
so much. So you see just that quickly you can
just get distracted. You get on your phone, You see
the emails, You see all the pop up ads like
you see your friends texting you. You see I have
a bunch of notifications. Obviously I'm an influencer. But the
(15:33):
point is you see a lot of things. We all
have things on our phone that are very engaging. Okay,
so I know what to expect when I pick up
my phone. I can go on TikTok, I can go anywhere.
All of us can do these things. However, if I
know that I have a goal, let's say, to build
a business, I don't I have hopes of what the
outcome is going to be, but I don't necessarily know
exactly how it's going to go. So that uncertainty requires
(15:57):
me to show up and behave different It requires a
different routine. Remember the routine is the behavior. It requires
me to behave differently and have a routine. If I
don't do that, my brain is doesn't have anything to say.
Remember this, it's going off of whatever old patterns I've
already created, and that does not align with my new goal.
(16:20):
If my new goal is to start a business, what's
required of me.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
To do that?
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I don't know yet. I have to build that routine out.
Am I making sense?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
All right?
Speaker 1 (16:31):
So? Yes, So if your habit has no emotional or
neurological payoff, your brain is going to drop it every
single time. So when you think about little, you know,
low hanging fruit necessarily like your phone that has a
both honestly neurologically and also emotionally, that has a quick payoff.
(16:52):
But when you're doing something like okay, you're trying to
be consistent at the gym, it's hard on you neurologically
and it's also hard on you emotionally. You got to
muster up the discipline to do it, the courage to
stay consistent. Then it causes a certain level of awareness
of Okay, if this is my goal and I want
to look like this, and I want to get from
(17:13):
point A to point B, how am I going to
do that? If all my habits remain exactly the same.
You have to implement some sort of routine there so
that your brain says, remember this, and you have to
do it long enough to even get there. So that
moves me into dopamine and motivation. Now, dopamine is not
(17:35):
the pleasure chemical. It is the motivational chemical or motivation chemical.
It is released in anticipation, not just achievement, because if
it was just achievement, then it would be a little
bit simpler to do the hard things because we know
getting that sense of achievement will feel so good we'll
(17:57):
just keep repeating it. So this means your brain is
actually more about the progress than perfection. And this is
why it's also so hard to stop, hard to start.
Sometimes the hardest part is starting a lot of the
times because you're not even implementing the things that's going
to you know, give you the dopamine so that your
(18:18):
brain feels the progress of what it.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Is that you're doing.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
And honestly, this makes a lot of sense to me
because it makes me think of when people say it's
all about the journey to getting to where you need
to be, because one day you will arrive. If you're
doing things right, you will arrive. But it really is
about the journey. It's the becoming to get to that
version of yourself. And this is why people they burn
(18:42):
out sometimes when their goals maybe feel too big, because
your brain doesn't feel rewarded often enough. So that means
if you want discipline, you need to give your brain
consistent feedback that says this is working, this is working. Okay,
I'm seeing that there's validated evidence, and sometimes that's hard
(19:05):
because for certain things, just like social media for instance,
it's the long game. You're not always going to see
an immediate benefit. And that's what presents a bigger challenge
where you're feeling like, oh my gosh, I'm not seeing
any evidence that this is actually something that I should
continue with. Obviously you have to use zerment, but giving
(19:27):
your brain constant feedback to say this actually is working.
Talk to yourself and say like it has to be
everyone starts from zero. I started from zero at one
point too, just like anyone else. I have to be
so encouraged about the progress that I'm making. Get lost
in the progress and the process that I'm not necessarily
(19:48):
solely focused on, all right, like are people watching this
or whatever the case is, because girl, especially when it
comes to YouTube right now obviously until we hit our
next goal of three hundred k. You know, it can
feel sometimes discouraging, like oh, man, like I'm I know
I have a lot of subscribers, but I'm like, dang,
(20:09):
I want more consistent views.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I want this, I want that.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
You know, we all feel that way about our lives,
and it can feel like, yeah, it can feel discouraging
when you don't feel like you're seeing that immediate uh
you know, evidence, and it feels a little bit like
the input is not matching the output. I totally understand that.
But when you talk to yourself and you're like, no,
(20:33):
this is working, it does bring me joy, all right,
Like I know that I'm working in service of the
bigger picture, and nothing that's worth having is going to
just come in three seconds. It's just honestly not, It
really isn't. And This is why micro habits can change
your life. You know, five minutes done consistently will be
(20:58):
one hour done a case visionally, and this is from
a neurological perspective. So if you're going to do something
like every once, it's better to just hop on the
tremo for at least five minutes than to just do
it for one hour once every three months.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Do you understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
So now let's talk about self control, right. This is
discipline and your prefrontal cortex.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I feel like a scientist.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Oh my gosh, I'm telling you reading just does wonders,
okay it. People used to ask me all the time,
how do I talk the way that I do? I mean,
I know that they were also talking about my voice,
like one. I don't have an answer for that because
my voice is my voice, It's how I talk. And
(21:47):
I also am aware that my voice has a lot
of range to it.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
It's very dynamic. Sometimes my voice is very can be
very high pitch.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Sometimes it could just be a little bit deeper, maybe
like now when I'm just having conversation. But I also
am aware that I can do little voices and things
like that. I don't think that's something I can teach someone,
especially like I just cannot teach that. However, another side
to that, I think is largely attributed to my intelligence
(22:18):
when I speak, and I do attribute a lot of
that to the fact that I'm a ferocious reader. I
really really do enjoy reading books, especially now that I've
picked it back up again. I kind of, you know,
was life was lifing, and so I was like taking
(22:38):
a little bit.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Of a hiatus on reading as much.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
But I have made it absolutely fundamental for this year,
and I have already written down the specific books that
I want to read for the year. Anything else on
top of that is just icing on the cake. But
it has truly really like it just adds to my range,
and it also does make you more of an intelligent person.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
It just does. So I digress.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
So self control, right, Your prefrontal cortex is responsible for planning, focusing,
and also decision making. It's also the part of the
brain that gets tired the fastest.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
So this is.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Why you can actually be disciplined in the morning, but
then you're like reckless at night, like everything just goes
out the window, because decision fatigue actually is a real thing.
So discipline is not necessarily about trying harder. It's about
choosing when to execute, so your most important habits should
(23:41):
happen when your brain is the freshest. This is why
people place a lot of emphasis on you know what,
You shouldn't pick up your phone and start scrolling through
social media as soon as you wake up, because it
releases certain parts of your brain and activates certain parts
of your brain that are actually going to make you
less productive in the day, because the likelihood of you
(24:05):
hopping on social media for exactly five minutes and then
having the very strong discipline to just hop off and
hop out of bed and get your day started is
very just slim to none. But no, it's easy to
scroll on because you're thinking, okay, I need to wake up,
all right, social media is keeping me awake now.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
But now you're comfortable.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Now you're warm, and you're comfortable in your bed, and
you're scrolling through social media and you don't want to
get up because you're just comfy.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
And you're able to stay informed.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
And the next thing you know, you're answering a couple
emails and all these different things, and then the list
just goes on. Next thing you know, it took you
like two and a half hours to get up. Now
you want to eat something, so now that's going to
take some preparation. Then you feel like you maybe want to,
you know, move your body a little bit. But then
you're like vacinating between should I start my day or
should I just like get on the treadmill right now?
(24:54):
You know, I think I'll just do it later. I'll
just like to make time later to do it. Now
you're just trying to get your day started. But then
as you're eating, you're like, maybe I should hop on
social media again, maybe I should watch a show like maybe,
And they like you already started out by like rewarding
yourself with something that is not fruitful for you. Do
you understand, like you really have to train your brain
(25:16):
to be disciplined, to not do certain things and respect
yourself and honor yourself by simply not doing it doesn't
mean it's not going to happen on occasion and things
like that. But while you are trying to establish these
qualities and establish and create your routine and your discipline,
everything counts. Everything absolutely counts. So stop asking yourself to
(25:43):
be disciplined. At the end of the day when your
nervous system is depleted. This is why the later and
later and later it gets in the day. You're starting
your day at four thirty pm, it's less motivating. It
is for anyone. Like it's yeah, you can figure out
ways to still be productive through it, but it's not
as motivating as if you started your day at nine
(26:04):
or ten. Like, it's just not as motivating. So that's
not growth, that's self sabotage. You're validating the fact that, oh, yeah,
like me, I'm just not really up for it. I'm
really just not feeling it. But like you didn't even
give yourself a chance to prove anything that you are
capable of starting actually earlier, So you're basing your actual
(26:25):
feelings of Man, I don't feel like I'm working at
my capacity right now. You're not going to be working
at your capacity right now. It's literally five pm. Why
would you be working at capacity starting to work at
your best at that time? Why would you get so
motivated to start your day at three pm. It's not impossible, obviously,
but on a consistent basis, it doesn't make sense to
(26:48):
start at that time right There's a reason why many
successful people they do tend to create routines and stick
to them, you know, and the earlier people do things
tends to always be the best, you know, the better.
Not everyone needs to wake up I suppose at five
am to do things, even though it is my aspiration.
(27:10):
But there are a certain magic in a certain window
of starting your work that you just will not get
after a certain time, right, You're just not And that's
really a science, okay, because your prefrontal cortex, which again
it's responsible for focus, for planning and decision making, if
(27:34):
that that's not going to just be activated in at
five pm. And then now you're thinking, oh man, well
I kind of wanted to dinner. And then life if
you think about life around you, everything's backwards.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
You're starting your day.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Everyone is like coming home from work, they are ending
their day, they're looking to wind down. You're just getting started.
It just creates a lot of discord, right, and that
when you do that consistently, that is you sabotaging yourself.
You're sabotaging yourself. You're not even giving yourself a chance
(28:08):
to make things make sense. And so then it's continuing
to repeat a pattern and a pathway, a neuropathway in
your brain that says, yeah, I don't get things done. Yeah,
I just can't wait because you're not showing up and
doing the things that may be uncomfortable, the hard things, right,
you're not showing yourself that you can do it. You're
(28:29):
not showing yourself that and proving to yourself, no, I
can show up differently. So how do we rewire our
brains for discipline? So step one, you need to make
the que obvious. This is not my thoughts, This is
based on research that I've done from James Clear's book
Atomic Habits great read for everyone in the entire universe.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
So make the queue obvious.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Your environment shapes your behavior more than your intention. I
remember listening to James Clear's book over the past couple
of days and he was even saying, if you know
you want to go to the gym, and it's a
struggle for you to get up and go to the gym,
make sure that you lay the clothes out at the
(29:16):
very least right before you sift through it, at the
bottom of your draw at night. If you know you
want to study something or read a book, the book
shouldn't be in your living room in a cabinet. All
the way at the bottom, like it needs to be
next to your bed in order for you to have
direct access to it. Right, Step two, make the habit small.
(29:39):
He really emphasizes being one percent better every single day. However,
he also says, if you don't become one percent better,
you're actually becoming worse. So if it's one percent better
for the entire year, I think he said, it's like
thirty seven times better or.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Something like that.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
And in the you know, on the contrary, if you
don't make any progress, you're actually thirty seven times worse
than you were.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
So don't don't.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Let's not preclude the fact that you actually can go backwards. So, yeah,
you want to make a small habit, so if it
takes more than two minutes, your brain will naturally resist it.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
I hope that brings you peace.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Know that your fight, you're you're like trying to discipline
your brain like it's a child. Okay, Like enough, we're good,
we're safe. Like I, yes, I'm gonna have to study
for X amount of time Like yes, me wanting to
read a book is going to require me to read
for you know, at least a half an hour, Like
you're okay, So if it takes more than two minutes,
(30:41):
your brain is naturally going to resist it because it
wants to do what's easiest. And this is why you're
constantly picking up your phone everything, everywhere. Every time you're
in the middle of a task, you're picking up your phone.
You're picking up your phone. You're picking up your phone.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Because it's easy to do.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
It's an immediate reward, and it takes seconds for you
to get that reward, so your brain wants to do
what the easiest thing is. Step three is you want
to attach a reward track it, celebrate it, feel it seriously.
And I say this genuinely as someone that really never
truly felt comfortable celebrating my wins. My brain was always
(31:16):
focused on the next thing, and the next thing and
the next thing, and I was never able to really
feel the capacity of my success and the things that
I've achieved because I'd always be focused on the next thing.
The target was always moving. But in hindsight, it actually
made me less confident of a person. I wouldn't say
it made me an insecure person, but it definitely it
(31:40):
felt like I just didn't hold the capacity to feel
happy and feel the success of the things that I
was doing, which just yeat, it did give me low
confidence in terms of new things that I wanted to
try and explore. I think because I never really felt
(32:00):
the gravity of what I've achieved, and I almost wouldn't
even let myself for whatever reason. So yeah, you should
track things. You should celebrate them, and you should feel
grateful and celebratory of what you have accomplished.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
You should.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
And step four is repeating before optimizing, so consistency bills mylin.
Speed comes later. It's a matter in the brain, That's
what mylin is. It's some sort of like brain matter.
So your brain, it doesn't necessarily need the perfect conditions, right,
but it needs more predictable patterns, all right, Like you're
(32:40):
going to be chasing perfection forever, right, but it needs
predictable patterns. And you have to create an environment that
makes it actually almost ridiculous for you to not do things.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
That's how you have to treat yourself.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Like it's ridiculous for you to have not you know,
put the dishes on the dish rack because the dishract
is right there. Why would you just wash the dishes
and then just leave them in the sink? No, put
them on the dishrack to dry because it's right there.
So make things so ridiculously easy for yourself that it's
(33:13):
ridiculous to not do it. Okay, what do you do
when motivation disappears? Because motivation will leave you? Okay, I
think we all know this. Motivation will absolutely leave you,
and discipline stays when your systems stay.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Again.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
I was listening to Atomic Habits and I think James
Clear was saying something about everyone has goals. Poor people
and rich people all have goals. The difference is one
party is actually executing them the other isn't. But what's
never going to fail you is your systems. You have
to have systems build in place to support your goals
(33:51):
and actually technically to reach your goals.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
You can't just have.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Goals and no systems, because then how are you going
to actually achieve them. So one stays when your systems
also stay. You've already created the system of operations. Now
it's muscle memory to just show up consistently and do it.
Show up consistently and do it. However, if you rely
(34:14):
on emotion, you will always be inconsistent.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Out of a whole entire week.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
You don't how many times you can feel like not
doing anything the entire week. Numerous times you will genuinely
feel why we always want to relax, that's just human nature.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
We always want to relax.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
We always want to just do nothing because it feels good,
it's easy, and it feels in a way like, oh,
self preservation, but really it's actually self sabotage. I'm not
saying overwork yourself to the point of you know, exhaustion
or anything, but I'm saying, like, you know, the difference
between you actually not forcing yourself to do things and
(34:55):
build the systems that are needed in order for you
to acquire success versus you know, just literally trying to
make an excuse for literally everything. Okay, you guys are
understanding what I'm saying. So if you rely on structure,
your brain will follow, meaning the systems that you created
when you rely on that structure. Okay, every time I
(35:16):
come in the house, I'm going to put my key
on this hook. Every time I come in the house,
I'm going to put my key in this catch all
bowl muscle memory. I'm making it easy so that I
don't have to lose things. I have my Bible at
my nightstand, I have a Bible at my island, in
my kitchen, depending on where I want to read it.
(35:37):
Like I put things in certain places because I have
stationed where I'm doing what, which is also why things
need to have a place and structure. Structure meaning in
all things, if there's no structure to your room, your
living situation, there rarely can be structuring your brain. Right,
(35:57):
You're always going to kind of feel scattered. That's why
every day is going to feel vastly different from the last.
You need to create some sort of predictability for yourself
so you know you're giving your brain arrest and your brain.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Knows exactly what to expect and show up.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
To really carve in those grooves for in your neuropathway
to create habits that support the version of yourself that
you want to be. So, like I said, it's not
really about being hardening yourself. It's about being honest with
your biology. This is how we are wired and this
is why this keeps happening. So here is your challenge,
(36:35):
right for the next seven days, pick one habit, make
it small, make it obvious, and make it rewarding and
watch how your brain responds. I had a therapist a
couple of years ago, and I remember her telling me like,
I was like, you know what, I just I almost
felt like I didn't need to be rewarded for things,
and she was like, why not, Like you should be.
You should have a reward. So your reward for waking
(36:56):
up early is, yeah, you get to go to get
that cup of coffee, or you know, you get to
go for the drive in the morning or something like that.
Like there needs to be a reward for what you're doing.
And it's funny because I feel like, as adults, we've
been trained in school that like you have to kind
(37:17):
of have this discipline and kind of suffer through it,
and I don't find that to be entirely true. I
think that even as adults, there are systems that we
can build where there is a little bit of a
reward as well, whether it's something as obvious as Okay,
I lost ten pounds, I get a new outfit, or
(37:37):
whether or not that's you know, Okay, if I do
my laundry, I can catch up with my friend for
an hour while we're on the phone. Okay, if I
do my email then and I finish all my work
by eight thirty pm tonight, then I can watch a show,
the show that I always wanted to watch. It's more
of like delayed gratification, and you're giving yourself reward at
(37:58):
the end.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
We all need.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
That's why when we work, we get paid for the
work that we're doing, because there is a reward for
what you're doing. Whether you enjoyed or not, not my business,
but the point is you're getting a reward, right.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
So, yes, you're not undisciplined.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
You were just untrained and training changes everything. Okay, So
if this episode has helped you, I want you to
send this to someone who is tired of starting over.
And you should always choose alignment and not exhaustion. Okay,
So make sure that you guys are building your systems,
(38:35):
creating the discipline that you need. And I really hope
that this was insightful and helpful for you, because I
know that it really has been monumental for me in
understanding how my brain works and using that to create
better systems for myself to set myself up for more success.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
So I hope that that helps.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
And that it encourages you, and it gives you a
lot of answers on why you may not have been
feeling up for doing certain things and why you may
have not been able to show up consistently in certain areas.
So with that being said, do not forget that I
love you and God loves you.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
I'll see you guys in my next episode HH
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