All Episodes

December 26, 2025 12 mins
Feeling like a fraud? You're not alone! I

I share my personal journey with imposter syndrome and how I finally overcame it.

Discover practical tips and strategies to silence that inner critic and break free from self-doubt and live authentically. 
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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today, I want to talk about imposter syndrome. Listen, I'm thirty.
Now A lot has changed, yes, and we have introduced,
as you guys know, for those of you that are watching,
actually a lot of new topics into the channel.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Of course, well why is that because when I do
what I want two. Also, it's more of a lifestyle channel.
So get used to seeing.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Things everything from wellness to spirituality which is my faith,
to talking about dating relationships, but most importantly talking about
our relationship with ourselves. And today's topic is no different.
I'm going to be talking about imposter syndrome. This is
something that I have truly dealt with. This is something
that plagues people that are entrepreneurial in spirit, especially if

(00:44):
you're creative, or again just if you are an ambitious
person in general, you are going to experience imposter syndrome.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
So let's unpack that. So let's actually defy and what
imposter syndrome is.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
I'm gonna have look down at my notes a little
bit here and also I'm gonna have it on screen.
Imposter syndrome is that sneaky feeling of an adequacy that
creeps in when you achieve something great. You feel like
a fraud, like you're not truly deserving of your success.
I'm sure a lot of us can definitely relate to this.
I can honestly say, with me being on YouTube now,

(01:23):
I want to say six years that I've definitely experienced
imposter syndrome. I remember when I first started my channel,
and as my channel was going, going, going, there were
plenty of times where I kind of felt like my
career was going on without me, And there were a
lot of times where I felt unqualified no matter how
much I would read, no matter how well read I am,

(01:46):
and was no matter how articulate that I am, no
matter the fact that I'm talking about things that are
based in fact, I still felt unqualified, Especially when you
add in the noise. Right when you were in the
scale of social media, there's gonna be a lot of noise.
You're gonna have a lot of people that tell you
I don't like your hair, I don't like your face,
Why do you have to talk like this?

Speaker 2 (02:07):
Why do you have to say it like this? YadA, YadA, YadA.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
But you add that into imposter syndrome, and it really
starts to weigh on you, where you start to actually
believe some of those lies, and you start to really
consider and ponder, am I worthy enough of this experience?

Speaker 2 (02:22):
Is this person right?

Speaker 1 (02:23):
Do I not deserve what I have? And I'll even
take it a step further. There have been plenty of
times in my life where people like to carry on
a certain narrative about me. Oh, I don't deserve what
I have. I don't work for what I have. You
know what I have to say to that, I'm sorry
that I make it look.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
So easy, but it is not easy. Let me be
very clear, it is not easy.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
It is a lot of sacrifice, a lot of staying
up till late at night. You know, my manager and
I were up filming podcasting till three o'clock in the morning,
after a long day, being in church, being in the studio,
all the things. It's a lot of what you don't
see behind the scenes. So the audacity of people to
come in when you are reaping the benefits of the

(03:05):
seeds that you were sowing, to actually be upset at that.
But you have to be very mindful that things like
this are going to happen.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
So why does imposter syndrome happen? Well?

Speaker 1 (03:20):
One societal expectations in our society today, we do tend
to emphasize perfection, right Like we do like to see
the highlights of people's lives. I mean, that's also kind
of my job as well. But I think we're now
stepping into a landscape and we have for a while
where authenticity is everything, and I think that you can

(03:40):
easily read on screen when someone isn't being authentic.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
Now, let me tell you this, a lot of people are.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
I don't think so, but you guys seem to think
so really good at faking the funk, and you'll be shocked.
A lot of people are simply not who they present
to be online on Instagram, on YouTube. Personality is also
not really their personality.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
There's a lot of.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Noise that goes on in the social media landscape. But
in society, we do tend to emphasize perfection because at
the end of the day, it's not really the most
attractive thing to see the negative things in life. People
like to see joy. They like to see happiness, They
like to see success. They also equally love to hate
on it. They love to speculate on how you achieved it,

(04:25):
and they also love to assume and make a lot
of assumptions on whether or not they feel that you
actually deserve it. So this obviously can create realistic pressure
and also unrealistic expectations. Some people take it a step
further where they begin to create a character that they
can really sustain, and then that also can create imposter Syndrome.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
Number two is perfectionism.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
Well, obviously this goes without saying, and I do remember
reading at some point in my life that perfectionism is actually.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
Rooted in deep insecurity. I'm not gonna lie, I am
going to agree with that.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
I do tend to be perfectionistic about a lot of things,
and yeah, maybe it is rooted in the fear of man.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
I really don't want to look silly. I really don't
want to mess up.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
But I think the older that I become, I become
okay with it, Like you know what, Like even right
now me filming this random impromptu video, I haven't filmed
a regular video one in my car in a very
long time, or really at all, because you guys don't
really know what I've been up too lately.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
We'll get into that another video.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
But anyways, perfectionism, I don't really hold myself up to
that standard sometimes with everything because I'm like, you know what,
I have an A minus type of personality.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
You know how they have type A personalities.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
I'm like an A minus personality, like my friend Lez
from the Black Girl Pod Balanced Black Girl Podcast said,
and I was like, wait, I still relate to that, because, Okay,
I like order, I like structure, but hey, if it
doesn't get done, it doesn't get done.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
I'm not gonna kill myself over it.

Speaker 1 (05:50):
And at the end of the day, the more quotes are,
I become in my faith, I become okay with not
being perfect because the perfect one already paid the price
for me, so I don't have to be perfect. How's
that next? We have the obvious fear of failure. Yeah,
I'm experiencing that right now. I mean I experienced it
just about every other day. I don't want to fail
like and in the end, I understand more and more

(06:12):
when people say in their thirties that no one really
knows what they're doing, Like, absolutely nobody. We're just going going, going,
just straight off of vibes, vibes, Macha coffee tea for
some of you, vake pens and also edibles. I don't
know what you're doing, but I.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
Implore you to not do that. But yeah, we're just
figuring it out as we go.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
But the fear of being exposed also as a fraud,
this is a big one. Are people going to google
what I say and try and research it? I mean
I also googled it myself, so surely like what I'm
saying is true. Are people gonna comment and say like
shut up, you don't know what you're talking about, or
like people have.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
Something to say about everything?

Speaker 1 (06:55):
But this fear can paralyze you, and it will and
can hinder your growth. You begin to feel like you're
at a standstill here where you were factoring.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
In every little thing that everyone has to.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
Say about you. That's also a part of imposter syndrome.
You're kind of at your weakest point where you become
more vulnerable, more susceptible to the feedback and the criticisms
of people in the comment section, even people in your
own life.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
Carl, do you even really have a job?

Speaker 1 (07:26):
Are you sure like you don't want to, like try
something else while you're pursuing what you're pursuing. I was
in hot pilates earlier today, and I didn't use this
pilates math that I've had for a very long time,
and I looked down and there was a quote on it,
and I believe it said something to the effect of
success is holding on when other people have to let go,

(07:47):
and I go, no way, This couldn't be more relevant
to me, holding on when other people have to let go.
And I even told my manager, because we speak all
the time. I'm like, listen, I don't care whatever anyone
else's story is. This is my story, this is my journey,
this is our journey, this.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
Is our life.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
I don't care what life looks like for everyone else.
I don't care what the nineteh percentile says, because one
I know, I serve a God who could do anything
and who works supernaturally.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
So I'm not in this realm.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
I'm not limited by the capacities of what we see
here in the physical realm.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
I'm just not. I'm just not.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
My story is my story and it's unique to me,
and I'm going to exercise my luxury of being able
to do what I want and get paid while doing it.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
Y'all have to let go. I don't.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
I'm gonna hold on to my dreams and the purpose
that God has put in me.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
End of story.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
Okay, how to overcome imposter syndrome? That's right, we're already
here because I'm not going to be before you long now.
One is self awareness, right, recognize the imposter syndrome.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Do you identify with any of the things.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
That I was previously talking about, Realize when those imposter
syndrome thoughts are creeping in, And honestly, journaling can be
incredibly helpful or just taking mental note, but documenting the
process on paper really helps to get things out. There's
something so releasing about writing it down and letting it go.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
And next, you want to challenge the negative.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
Self talk that you have, replacing those negative thoughts that
you're having you're not good enough, you're unqualified, you don't
know what you're talking about. And instead of I'm not
good enough, you can try I am capable and I
am deserving of success. And I think even with thinking
that I used to be of the belief of I
don't want to be too I don't want to be cocky.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
I don't want to be conceited about it.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Like, there's nothing wrong with saying that you deserve success,
there's nothing wrong with identifying that you are more than
capable because at the end of the day, success comes
to those who actually are willing to work for it,
even though some people might have sucky personalities. Not everyone
that is successful maybe necessarily deserves it, but that's arbitrary.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
But it all comes with hard work.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
No matter what personality you have, no matter what end
of the spectrum that you're on, there is no shortcut
to success.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
Remember that.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
Next, you want to focus on your accomplishments. Create a
list of your achievements, big and small. This is something
I used to not do because I used to achieve, achieve, achieve,
and then I got so desensitized by my own achievements
and not wanting to celebrate it because for some reason
in my head, I thought celebrating these achievements meant that
that was somehow going to stop me, like that was

(10:37):
the cap for me if I celebrated whatever I achieved.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
That's not true.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
We are human beings, and my therapist once told me, Yeah,
there's nothing wrong with having incentive. Hey, we go to
our jobs all the time and we have the incentive
of receiving money for it. Right, we get paid for
the work that we do. There's nothing wrong with operating
on a system like that as well, acknowledging your achievements
because if you don't, then who else will. Now there's
a balance between everything, right, because some people really just

(11:03):
want to clap, clap, clap. You're out in the club,
partying and drinking and smoking, wrecking your liver for what.

Speaker 2 (11:08):
I don't know what we're celebrating, but.

Speaker 1 (11:10):
Right, journaling down your achievements is a very smart thing
to do, having little celebrations for yourself. Hey, you promise
yourself you were gonna get in the gym, you were
gonna get fit and sexy. You're gonna be hot polities
by me. Nah, so you decided, Hey listen, I spent
two weeks in the gym. Let me go buy myself
a little cue outfit. We still have this little booty, okay.
And then also seeking support, whether you have a therapist,

(11:31):
whether you have a trusted friend, your parents, even someone
that you can talk to you about your feelings, because
what's important is getting those feelings out.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
No man is an island, and we should.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
Not hoard the negative things that we are harping on
because they're not true. Also, try reading your Bible, because hey,
the Lord is there, Okay, he never leaves us, He
never forsakes us.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
You know the vibes.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
And in conclusion, imposter syndrome is a common experience, but
it does not have to define you.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
It doesn't define you, it will not define you.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
And by recognizing the patterns of imposter syndrome, by challenging
the negative thoughts and building self compassion, you can silence
your inner critic.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
And embrace your true potential.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
So I encourage you to share your experiences of imposter syndrome.

Speaker 2 (12:18):
Do it in the comment section now below.

Speaker 1 (12:20):
There's a lot of power in community and in support,
So send this to a friend that you think can
benefit from just hearing this little pep talk about imposter syndrome.
Don't believe those lies that Satan's trying to put into
your ear. You are not a fraud. You are not
a fake unless, in the event, well some people actually are,
but that's another story. That's another video for another time.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
All right, guys, I'm headed off to a meeting. I'll
catch you guys in my next one.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
Do not forget that I love you and God loves you,
and I'll spit to you angels in my next video.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
Yeah,
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