November 17, 2025 • 33 mins
In today’s episode of Reddit Stories Podcast, a wild Karen completely loses it. You won’t believe how this one ends! Sit back, relax, and enjoy this binge-worthy Reddit Stories Podcast, featuring Karen freakouts, entitled people stories, and pro revenge tales.
🎧 Listen to More Reddit Stories Podcast Episodes Here:
👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5ZVzMm0Pr3bwlM26VuVv8J
👉 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mr-redder/id1516821033
📌 **Every episode dives into trending Reddit stories, insane Karen freakouts, and dramatic pro revenge stories! We cover the wildest situations from r/EntitledPeople, r/AITA, and r/EntitledParents. If you love binge-worthy podcast compilations, long-form storytelling, and Reddit drama stories, you’re in the right place!
👉 📺 Love These Stories? Watch Full Video Episodes on YouTube! → https://www.youtube.com/@MrRedderYT
🎵 Music Credit: https://soundcloud.com/lakeyinspired
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories-podcast-mr-redder--5571651/support.
Enjoyed this story? Follow the show and leave a quick rating.
🎧 Listen to More Reddit Stories Podcast Episodes Here:
👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5ZVzMm0Pr3bwlM26VuVv8J
👉 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mr-redder/id1516821033
📌 **Every episode dives into trending Reddit stories, insane Karen freakouts, and dramatic pro revenge stories! We cover the wildest situations from r/EntitledPeople, r/AITA, and r/EntitledParents. If you love binge-worthy podcast compilations, long-form storytelling, and Reddit drama stories, you’re in the right place!
👉 📺 Love These Stories? Watch Full Video Episodes on YouTube! → https://www.youtube.com/@MrRedderYT
🎵 Music Credit: https://soundcloud.com/lakeyinspired
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories-podcast-mr-redder--5571651/support.
Enjoyed this story? Follow the show and leave a quick rating.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, mister Redder here, welcome back to another episode
of Reddit podcast Stories. Our first story we'll be reading today,
Karen's sister in law loses it on me for canceling
my Netflix without telling her. After that, am I the
jerk for not including my niece and my daughter's birthday
since our parents can't afford it? And after that, your
trash cans may only be out at specific times. Now
(00:22):
for every thumbs up this video gits one, Karen has
to get her own Netflix account. I'm fine with that
as long as you let me stay on your Disney Plus.
So please smash that like button and subscribe and turn
on notifications for new stories from Reddit every single day.
Karen's sister in law loses it on me for canceling
my Netflix without telling her. Me forty one female and
(00:45):
my husband forty two male, subscribe to Netflix seven years
ago when our daughter, who's eighteen, asked us to. We
were in a difficult financial situation at the time, but
said we'd give it some thought. We caved, however, only
on the condition that she spends one night a week
watching it with us. Two years after, my brother, who's
thirty four, married his wife who's thirty six. She was
(01:07):
married previously and has twin daughters who are ten. I
love them to pieces. Sister in law then gave birth
to their son, and all heck broke loose. My nieces
were constantly dropped off at either our house or their
maternal grandparents' house. There wasn't a word of warning. They
were just dropped off and picked up the next day
to be deposited somewhere else. I told my brother that
(01:29):
we had to talk after a month of this. He
text me back a week later and asked for my
Netflix log in. He said they needed for bonding time.
I should have called BS, but he's my brother and
I didn't want to refuse him. Recently, my nieces and
I were at the park with our youngest daughter, who's eleven.
One of my nieces asked to sit with me. She
(01:49):
asked why they don't visit off in anymore. I say
that she should be happy spending time with her parents.
She admits that they are left to watch Netflix while
sister in law and brother spend time with the baby.
When I got home, I told my husband. He was
beyond furious, shaming my brother for being a bad father.
His words biological or not. I couldn't disagree. It was
(02:12):
me who had the idea to unsubscribe altogether, and this
went beyond teaching them a lesson. We never really used
it anymore. My eldest complains that they're apparently going to
ban account sharing. This would be a bad thing because
she's across the country in college and is the only
person who somewhat actively uses it alongside sister in law.
My husband admitted that the money for the subscription could
(02:34):
and probably should, go towards more useful things. We let
our subscription expire, and my sister in law soon came knocking.
She went off on us for canceling, that it wasn't
our call to make since they used the account too. YadA, YadA, YadA.
Here's where I think I might be the jerk. I
shut the door in her face and said that she
needs to seriously self reflect. She scoffed and left. Ever since,
(02:58):
I haven't seen them, sister in law has gone radio silent,
and my brother speaks to me through our parents. This
not only upsets me, but my kids too, particularly my son,
who's fifteen. My brother promised to take him to a
sport event this week but has since canceled. Deep down,
I know that I did the right thing. However, I
frankly feel like crap seeing how miserable my kids are.
(03:20):
Not only that, but my niece's relationship with him and
sister in law is totally unsalvageable. According to my brother
in a Facebook post blaming me and my husband for
his now difficult family life, which has led to a
few nasty comments, I'm wondering if I should have just
remained complicit. I'm tempted to resubscribe just for the sake
of making things a little more peaceful as per and ultimatum.
(03:42):
My sister in law and brother wagered.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Am I the jerk? Not the jerk?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I honestly don't even need to read this story to
tell you you're not the jerk. Why should you have
to warn someone who's mooching off you that you're going
to cancel your subscription? She wants Netflix, she can pay
for her owns subscription. Am I the jerk for not
including my niece and my daughter's birthday since our parents
can't afford it. I'm thirty one female. My daughter, who's eight,
(04:09):
and my niece, who's also eight, were born ten days apart.
Due to this, Ever since they were little, my sister
in law, who's twenty nine, has always pushed for them
to have a shared birthday party. When the girls were younger,
around one to four, we used to do shared birthday parties,
but my husband and I realized that we were always
the ones to foot the bill for everything, food, decoration, location, etc.
(04:33):
The girls also were complete opposites. My daughter has always
been more of a tomboy while my niece is super girly.
But my husband and I telled sister in law and
my brother that we won't be doing this shared birthday anymore.
They were really upset and it started a huge fight.
They said they can't afford to throw a nice birthday
for my niece, but we can, so it makes sense
(04:54):
that we pay for it since we're family. Yeah, not
gonna fly with my husband and I, so we stuck
by what we said, and ever since, the girls have
had separate birthdays. My daughter and my husband love watching
Formula One together and she wanted to have a Formula
one themed birthday this year. The weekend before the birthday,
we had a family dinner at my parents' house, sister
(05:15):
in law, my brother, and niece were present. My parents
were asking the girls if they were excited for their upcoming.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Birthdays and if they were having parties this year.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
My daughter told my parents she's having a Formula one
theme party this year. Sister in law answered for my
niece and said they're not going to have a party
for her because things were tight. The conversation was left there.
Fast forward to this past weekend. Daughter's birthday was on Saturday.
We had the party and it was going great. The
whole family was invited as usual, and everyone was having
(05:46):
a great time until the cake. I'm in the kitchen
with my mom, mother in law, sister in law, and
a few other family friends talking. I pulled the cake
out to get ready to bring it out for everyone.
Sister in law takes a look at the cake and
looks infused. Sister in law, is this the girl's birthday cake?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Me? What do you mean the girls? The cake is
for my daughter?
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Sister in law, Well, I thought, since I mentioned that
things are tight this year, that you'd include niece's name
and the birthday. Me. I understand your situation, but how
come you never once mentioned this to me? Well, I
thought it would be common sense now, my daughter isn't
going to have any kind of celebration for her birthday
this year because you and your husband are so selfish.
(06:31):
She then stormed out of the kitchen, made a huge
scene at the party outside, yelling to her husband and
my niece that it's time to go, and they left.
Since then, she's been messaging me and my husband NonStop,
trying to make us feel guilty that my niece isn't
going to have a birthday party and calling us all
kinds of names. I feel bad that my niece isn't
going to get a birthday party. Am I the jerk
(06:51):
for not including her even though they can't afford it?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
First of all, it's simply not your job to make
sure your niece has a party. That's up to her parents.
If things are tight, maybe they need to be creative,
but it's still on them. Secondly, it's ridiculous for her
to think that hinting around will get her daughter added
to the party. If it was as important to her
as she acts like it is, then she should have
had a frank conversation with you and simply asked. You
(07:17):
could have still said no, but there wouldn't have been
the confusion. This is on them, not you, not the jerk,
but I'm very confused. How much money can you possibly
invest in an eight year old's birthday party? Most of
my kid's birthdays have been at the park with a
self made chocolate cake, some sweets, a fruit salad, a
treasure hunt, and some balloons. If you want a cool
(07:38):
location or a VIP experience or whatever, you can spend more, obviously,
but that's completely optional. Kids at that age mostly want
to have fun with their friends and blow out their candles.
Your trash cans can only be out at a specific time.
We live in an hoa and if you don't, lucky you.
We've never had any real problems. They don't do much
(08:00):
other than make sure the park and gardens look good. Anyhow,
for whatever reason, they decided to add a new rule.
It wasn't needed, but I guess they got bored and
wanted something to do. Maybe someone kept leaving their trash
cans out all week. Fine, just ask them not to,
It's not that hard. The new rule states when trash
cans can be put out, they can't be out before
(08:21):
six am on Wednesdays and must be put back before
six pm the same day. This is obviously stupid and
has a few problems. First of all, some people use
a different company, The HOA provided one goes on Wednesday
and it's cheap, so most people use it, but you
don't have to. Some people have theirs go on Monday
or Tuesday. Also, a lot of people here work in
(08:42):
the medical field and just aren't home during those times,
so no one is there to put out or bring
in their cans. So a few of us got together
on how to comply but be annoying about it. We
decided to comply with their set times as best we can.
Take it out at six when a lot of us
go to work or go for a morning walk, and
take it back in at six since most of us
(09:03):
are home. Some of us help by taking others bends
to the street if they're at work. But when it's
time to take out the trash, doing it as loud
as possible. Ben has wheels, drag it, got it to
the street, make sure it's firmly placed on the street,
need to take out the other bag.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Slap it in there and let the lid slam shot.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
For those who have trash go out on other days,
comply with the times, but do it on your own
trash day. Then also put them out on Wednesday as required,
if you can leave trash in them and leave the
lid open so it would bake in the sun all day. Yes,
it did smell like hot trash. That's the point. After
three weeks of this, an email was sent out, the
(09:43):
rule was thrown out, and we were all simply asked
to put out and take in our cans within a
reasonable amount of time, preferably on trash day. Was it
really that hard to ask nicely? Why not just address
whoever was the problem? Know that because an HOA rule
was changed, a lawyer was paid to look over it
before the CCNR could be updated. That means this stupid
(10:04):
rule cost every resident money. Anyhow, we are already planning
on voting out one member of the board who we
know is the problem come this summer election. Am I
the jerk for refusing to show my husband the rest
of the ultrasound photos of our baby? I twenty six female.
I'm married to Bill, who's thirty. We're expecting our first
baby together in three weeks. But I have an eight
(10:26):
year old from a previous relationship. To put it lightly,
Bill has no filter whatsoever. It's extremely annoying at times,
since I'm someone that overthinks everything and will go over
what I'm about to say ten times before it leaves
my mouth to make sure it's not rude. He thinks
there might be something wrong with him because he doesn't
understand social cues and he's pretty awkward, but he won't
(10:47):
get checked for anything. Today I went for an appointment
and they did a four D ultrasound because they haven't
been able to see his face lately due to him
always sucking on his thumb. I've never had a forty
ultra sound before, so I was excited to see my baby.
Of course, like all forty ultra sounds, the baby looked
like a crisp lasagna when you don't know what you're
(11:08):
looking at, but still cute and exciting seeing your baby
and all of their facial features for the first time.
I got home and waited for Bill to come home
so I could show him the photos and videos. I
have him sit down, and I clicked on the best
clearest photo we got to show him. First a few
photos he had his hand up or was that a
bad angle or the umbilical cord was giving him a
(11:29):
handlebar mustache.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
He looks at the photo and.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
I'm pointing out that his eyes and nose and mouth,
et cetera, and the first thing out of his mouth is.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Wow, he's ugly.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Immediately, I get mad, lock my phone and refuse to
show him any other photos. He asked if that was
the only photo I got, and I said no, I
got more, But why should I show them to you
if you're just going to sit there and call him ugly.
I was so excited to show you these, and you've
completely ruined the moment because you don't know how to
shut your mouth. He looked shocked that I was mad,
(12:02):
and said it's fair game because I call the baby
names all the time. When I'm in a ton of pain,
I'll say things like this little crap won't get out
of my ribs. I told him it was completely different,
and he claims it's not and he should be allowed
to call him ugly, and also said hopefully that's not
how he'll look when he comes out. I just refuse
to show him any more photos and I told him
(12:24):
to get out of the room. He's mad that I
won't show him the rest and still doesn't understand why
I'm upset. I'm pregnant, so maybe it's just hormones getting
to me. So am I the jerk? Did I overreact?
Or is he just an idiot? Edit? To answer some
common questions I keep getting asked, is he on the spectrum?
Speaker 2 (12:42):
We don't know. He and I have both.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Stated that might be the case, but he refuses to
get tested because he's scared he might be. I understand
this is an issue, but I can't force him to go.
I've encouraged him as much as I can and as
often as I can, but he doesn't want to get
a diagnosis. He was joking, Unfortunately, he wasn't. I poked
fun at these types of ultrasounds in my past. I
(13:05):
can joke around about it easily. The problem is that
he didn't say it in any slight amount of joking way.
It was wow, he's ugly, one hundred percent serious and
matter of fact. This was a final straw moment for me.
I've been on him for the past two weeks about
his comments like this about other people. He's been saying
very shallow, judgmental things, and I don't think it's right.
(13:27):
You shouldn't call the baby my baby. It's both of yours.
I understand where you're coming from, but there's a reason
I called him my baby. We got married, agreed we
wanted to try for a baby, and tried for several months.
This was not a surprise, and we both decided we
wanted a baby after I got pregnant. Any single little
owl that was uncomfortable I'm throwing up from all this
(13:49):
morning sickness, or anything that wasn't just absolute praise to
the baby, I was to, well, you wanted this. Every
time I explain how much I didn't like him saying that,
because it sounds like I'm the only one that wants
the baby and he.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Doesn't care, and he still says it.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
We compromised, and as a running joke now I call
him my baby because I'm the one that wanted him.
When talking about the baby, Bill will often say my
boy or our baby. I never corrected him or have
ever said no, it's my baby, not yours, because it's
not that serious. But that's why I said my baby
in the post. A ton of commenters are saying I'm
(14:27):
the jerk because babies are ugly. If you can look
your excited pregnant wife in the eyes as she's expressing
her joy overseeing the baby that you guys will be
holding in just a few short weeks and respond with
it's ugly, then you are the problem. There's a million
other things you can say. And now, after I give
birth on what should be an amazing moment, I'm going
(14:47):
to be scared that he's going to say that again.
Instead of focusing on my baby, I'm going to worry
if my husband is thinking that the baby's ugly. Luckily,
thanks to some lovely redditors, I have the comeback. He
looks just like you in my pocket.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Now.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
I didn't show him the rest of the photos because
I showed him the best ones. You could see his
face and chubby cheeks perfectly. It didn't look creepy or weird.
So if he could look at the best picture and
say you, why would I show him the rest that
have his hand in the way or shot a bad angle.
There's no point in me having to get my feelings
repeatedly hurt just so he can see photos that are
considered mess ups.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Anyway, no jerks here.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
If you were upset by what he said, I can
understand why you wouldn't want to show him more. But
let's be honest, those photos are very creepy. Why did
you have a baby with this guy? Not the jerk,
but wow, your husband is something lack of social cues
or not. He doesn't need to say every thought that
pops into his head, and you calling the baby a
(15:47):
little crap because they are physically in your ribs is
not comparable to calling him ugly. Everyone sucks here, You too,
need to stop.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
It seems to.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Be a lot of tension surrounding the birth of your
expected baby. Your husband should admit that that was a
boneheaded thing to say, and you should show him the
rest of the pictures. You two better grow up before
the real baby gets here. You're the jerk dad. Calling
the baby ugly is something you're both supposed to laugh at.
Let's face it, lots of newborns are ugly and there's
(16:16):
nothing wrong with that. You need to take a chill
pill and realize that you're taking life way too seriously.
Most babies get less ugly as they get older, so seriously,
quit tripping out over small things and just enjoy life.
My hubby made jokes about our baby being ugly too,
so I'd always hit him with something like, Yeah, looks
like he's really taking after you. Unfortunately, guess what, he
(16:39):
stopped calling him ugly after that. By getting mad and
freaking out over people saying things, all you're doing is
giving them power over you, letting them control your emotions.
We need to be able to control our emotions when
people say things that upset us, and fire back at
them with words to give them a taste of their
own medicine. Edit. I get that not everyone can come
(16:59):
up up with witty responses at all times, but I
stand by what I said. When you flip out over
literal words that someone said to you, you're just showing
your lack of self control. Manager tried throwing me under
the bus, so I showed everyone her incompetence. I recently
resigned from a toxic workplace as a data analyst at
a startup. It was promising at the start, but not
(17:21):
long after I noticed many red flags, including the fact
that my manager had absolutely no data analysis or management
experience prior to being promoted. How can you manage analysts
without knowing basic Excel functions. I ignored those red flags
and trusted her leadership because I liked the company's goals.
Little did I know this would be the worst decision ever.
(17:43):
I basically did all the work for a team for
the whole year.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
I was there.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
When I ran the numbers for reporting an analysis of
team performances, she always asked me to dumb it down
so she can present it to high level management. I
thought everything was going well because I only got good
feedback from her and the rest of the team. About
a month ago, a coworker who I don't get along
with made a complaint about me, which was absolutely untrue.
(18:08):
Manager believed it without investigating, and all of a sudden,
I was placed on a PIP. She spouted all types
of lies to HR and when I refuted those claims
with written evidence, they doubled down and started gaslighting me.
You're just too negative. I refused to sign and was
threatened with termination, so I complied and started building a
(18:28):
case against them. I knew she was doing the PIP
to terminate me, and she looked for internal candidates to
replace me in secret, because she was dumb enough to
set the meeting up beside me. Once I signed my
contract for a new job, I did basically forget all
and started working from home. Before my resignation, She asked
me to do some reporting for her, so I ran
(18:50):
the numbers and sent her the raw data, told her
where the files were located, and that she can analyze
the data and make the presentation herself.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Since she's the data analyst manager, she should know how
to do it.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
She tried reporting me for that, but ultimately backfired because
they asked her if the work that I did was
actually wrong and was forced to admit she didn't know
what she was looking at. Everything else in the team
was questioned, and I believe they are now being audited
by an external investigator. Credibility destroyed. I'm now working for
a small manager who is competent and has clear goals
(19:23):
for the team. But that was a heck of a ride.
Small win against toxic management, but a win is a win.
EDIT PIP is a performance improvement plan. It's used by
managers to address under performance and start a documentation process,
usually used as a first step to fire someone or
phase them out. Am I the jerk for lighting a
(19:44):
match at night and scaring my boyfriend's dad. My boyfriend
and I are staying at his parents' house. It's been
going really well, but his dad is very particular He
has moments every day where he corrects or instructs the
other people in the house on how he wants us
to behave. I don't really have a problem with it,
but he has a few rules that do make me
a little uncomfortable. I don't need to get into why,
(20:07):
but I always have stomach issues here. I've been visiting
them a few times a year for almost a decade,
and it just is what it is. My boyfriend and
I used to stay in a room downstairs with a
bathroom and it wasn't a problem, but his brother moved
back home and now we don't have our own bathroom.
I don't want to advertise the fact that I have
stomach issues to everyone in the house, and I'm not
allowed to use the bathroom fan at night, so I
(20:29):
usually use popery or just a drop. When we got
home the last time, my boyfriend got a text from
his dad asking him to ask me to stop using
strong essential oils as it was making him feel sick.
I was so embarrassed, and I honestly have been kind
of dreading coming here again. I was talking to my
mom about this, and she suggested that I bring some
(20:49):
paper matches because that's what she used to do. I
got some paper matches and they actually work pretty well. Tonight,
I woke up from my sleep because I had stomach issues.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I lit a match.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
When I was done, ran it under some water, and
folded it up into some aluminum before throwing it in
the garbage. I fell back asleep and was woken up
a while later by a big commotion. My boyfriend's dad
smelled burning and thought the house was on fire, so
he woke everyone up in a panic and searched the
house to see what was burning.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
I didn't immediately.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Equate a match with a house fire, and I didn't
smell anything when I woke up, so I didn't bring
up that I had lit a match. It wasn't even
clicking for me that the match was what he smelled
until my boyfriend asked me if I smelled anything when
I got up earlier to use the bathroom. Long story short,
I just got chewed out by his dad for lighting
matches at night, or lighting matches in general as a
(21:41):
guest in their home, and even his mom was upset
because I could have started a fire and nobody would know.
I apologized and everyone went back to bed, But then
my boyfriend lectured me for like fifteen minutes about embarrassing
him and playing dumb about not knowing what his dad
smelled and not using commons, and then he told me
(22:01):
to go to sleep and try not to wake everyone
up again. I'm honestly so upset. My boyfriend is sleeping soundly,
and I'm just laying here getting madder and madder.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I just want to.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Wake them up so we can leave because I feel
so uncomfortable. I really don't want to face everyone in
the morning. I don't feel like I did anything wrong,
but I don't know if I'm thinking rationally because I'm
tired and I can't fall back asleep.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
What do you think, am I the jerk?
Speaker 1 (22:28):
I think you get stomach issues at these people's home
because it's an incredibly stressful environment where you are walking
on eggshells the entire time to tiptoe around his extremely
volatile and aggressive father. I mean, goodness, have these people
never owned a candle? Not the jerk, Not the jerk folks.
If a match has been run underwater, then short of
(22:48):
the intervention of God himself, that match is not going
to start a fire. Good grief wrapping it in tinfoil
is already a step further than reason dictates adults can
be trusted to dispose of matches. This poor woman has
endured repeated visits to this clearly disturbed man's home. She's
doing literally everything she can think of to be respectful
of his deranged behavior. Something is wrong with this family.
(23:11):
At a minimum, they're enabling the father's personality disorder. Stay
away from these people. You're the jerk. Lighting matches in
someone else's home is a huge and no no, All
it takes is one little mistake, and you can be
the cause of a house fire that burns down their
entire house. Not smart or necessary in any way. If
you want to cause potential fires in your own home,
(23:32):
you have every right but to take this risk in
someone else's home, they had every right to be furious,
and I would have done the same next time. Try
not to light any fires in other people's homes in
the middle of the night while they're asleep. Woman confuses
me for employee, gets locked out of the store, leaving
her groceries behind. So last night, I'm finishing up my
(23:53):
shift as an EMT and it's been a long and
tiring one. The calls weren't bad, but there were a
lot of them and we were all over the county.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Shift is over.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
I change back into my comfy clothes soe it's T
shirt and hoodie, and I head to the store to
get something for dinner. I get there just in time,
since they're closing in ten minutes. I assure the cashier
that I was just grabbing something quick, and I go
and pick up a lasagna from the frozen section. I
grab it and turned ahead to the checkout when I
hear ahrm.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Not a throat.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Clearing sound, but someone's saying it like they were reading
it out loud. I turn around and I see a
woman who snaps off with I need you to go
in the back and get me a.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Pack of the frozen pretzels.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
I say that I don't work here and point out
where an employee just went behind an end cap. She snaps,
you do work here, and you need to stop being
lazy and get me my pretzels. I again say I
don't work here, and I turn to walk to the
self check She flips and storms off, muttering about lazy
employees and managers. I finish checking out and I'm grabbing
(24:57):
my stuff and leaving when I see her again with
the car and a manager, and she yells.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
There she is, that's the lazy jerk, and she starts
towards me.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I'm not even going to engage, and so I hold
up my receipt and my one item to the self
check girl and I walk out. I hear the manager
raising his voice and saying ma'am ma'am. Turns out she
left her cart behind and stormed out of the store
to confront me. I get in my car to drive off,
but she's standing in front of it, so I can't
go anywhere. She's also giving me a lashing that I'm
(25:28):
too checked out to really pay attention to.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Great I'm already on my last nerve and this is
just too much.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Manager sticks his head out of the door and hollers, ma'am.
She turns and makes a hushing motion towards him. He
hollers ma'am one more time, and she hollers back, saying
I I'm dealing with your employee, since you're too much
of a little jerk to do it yourself. He bristles
and says madam. She cuts him off with shut up,
(25:56):
screeched at the top of her lungs. He shrugs, and
watch him go back inside, fiddle with the locks, flips
the sign to closed, and pulls down the shades. As
I'm watching this, she gets annoyed that I'm not paying
her my full attention.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
And she yells, what are you looking at that's so
important to ignore me?
Speaker 1 (26:14):
I just pointed at the shop and say they just
closed and locked the doors. I'm not sure what she screamed,
since it was pretty incoherent, but she did run towards
the door. Seeing my chance, I drove off, leaving her
pounding on the door and yelling, am I the jerk
for leaving the room when my boyfriend enters. I'm thirty
five female, My boyfriend is thirty eight male, and we've
(26:36):
been dating for a long time, about seven years. I
moved into his house after a year of dating. He
works Monday through Friday, nine to five job. I take
contract work, and my days and hours very week to week.
I'm an introvert, but I work with lots of people
and basically always have to be on at work, so
I absolutely required time to myself to recharge. Early on
(26:58):
living together, I liked to play one of my days
off on a weekday so I could have the house
to myself. But frequently he'd choose to work from home
or take a sick day on that day, and I
would get frustrated when he didn't leave for work that day.
When I expressed this frustration, he'd get annoyed and angry.
I told him that I just need time to myself occasionally.
It honestly has nothing to do with him, and he responded,
(27:21):
how could it not have anything to do with me?
You just told me you don't want to be around me. Plus,
this is my house. I'll be here when I want
to be. I adapted and got used to living with
less alone time for myself. Things change during lockdown. He
now works from home every day. He gave up some
of his hobbies as well, and it feels like he
never leaves the house anymore. I still work contract work
(27:43):
out of the house, but I know that I will
have virtually no time that is truly to myself when
I'm home. I do all the grocery shopping and lots
of other errands as a means to be alone with myself.
Between the drive and the shopping time, sometimes I just
sit in my car in the parking lot or in
the garage for like an hour in total silence. When
I drive somewhere, sometimes he wonders what has taken me
(28:05):
so long, and I tell him that I just took
my time with the air end. But I still need
space because I feel drained all the time now. And
when I mention that it would be nice to have
some alone time, he dismisses it and says.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Where would I even go right now now?
Speaker 1 (28:19):
I frequently wear earbuds around the house, sometimes not even
playing anything, to cancel out some noise. If I'm in
a room alone and he enters without an obvious plan
to interact with me, I'll get up and move to
a different room where I can continue to be by myself. Example,
if I'm sitting on the couch in the living room
and he enters the kitchen right next to me and
plays a podcast on the echo and starts making food,
(28:41):
I don't ask him to turn off the podcast or leave.
I just silently get up and move to the office.
Or if he comes into the office, maybe I'll go
down to the basement and sit on the laundry table.
I didn't ask him to leave the space or to
stop making noise. I simply remove myself to continue my
alone time. Sometimes he thinks I'm being passive aggressive, are
mad at him, and gets frustrated with me. As far
(29:04):
as I'm concerned, I've expressed my need to have some space,
and if he can't understand, that's on him. I see
it as a compromise to have my alone time and
meet his needs as well. So am I the jerk
for creating my alone time by whatever means necessary? Edit
for clarity. I work out of the house two jobs,
sixty to seventy hours per week, lots of human interaction
(29:25):
at both. He works from home full time since lockdown.
To clarify, I don't leave the room every time he
walks in. It's once or twice per week when he
comes into the space. I have specifically put myself in
to be alone almost always when I get home from work,
after saying hi and checking in, for example, Hey, how
is your day?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
That's great?
Speaker 1 (29:45):
My day was super busy, so I'm heading back downstairs
to relax while you finish your work day.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Still want tacos for dinner? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Cool, let's eat it five thirty before I leave for
job number two. If he comes down to interact with me,
talk to me, help me with whatever I'm working on.
Then I stay and hang out with him. But when
he's just making noise in the room where he knows
I'm trying to quietly relax, I do relocate sometimes edit too.
Not sure where this idea came from that I live
for free in his house, and frankly, I'm not sure
(30:14):
why it's relevant. We split all expenses based on our
income ratio. I pay forty five percent and he pays
fifty five percent of all expenses including mortgage, insurance, utilities, internet, groceries,
house and yard maintenance, etc. I also really enjoy cooking
as a hobby and have some dietary needs, so I
do nearly all of the grocery shopping, cooking, meal prep, breakfast, lunch,
(30:37):
and dinner to cover both of our meals for about
five of the days a week. Probably done responding now,
thanks for all the feedback. It's been helpful and insightful,
and I appreciate the different perspectives.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Peace.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
You're not the jerk for needing time to yourself, but
you need to take a long look in the mirror
and ask if this is a relationship that's sustainable. You
have to very clearly communicate what you need from your
partner and come up with solutions together. And if he
can't compromise with you for your benefit, this is not
the relationship for you. Respecting your partner's need for space
is absolutely necessary. I myself do not need to spend
(31:11):
every moment with my partner, and he's very much like
your boyfriend. I just had to tell him that I
needed time to myself when we were home. He could
play his games and I could watch TV in the
living room or read, but I couldn't entertain him all
the time. Not the jerk he is for not letting
you have some time to yourself. It's a perfectly reasonable
and perfectly normal request. He makes it about him and
(31:33):
ignores your needs. You're going to go crazy if you, guys,
don't work this out. If he won't accept that you
need some space. Do you really want to spend the
rest of your life sitting in your car in the
garage every time you need to be alone? Everyone sucks here.
You both need better communication skills. Tell him outright that
you need to be alone and set boundaries for yourself.
Maybe set up a day with him where he knows
(31:55):
to leave you the heck alone. I'm the exact same
way as you. I don't think I can ever live
with a partner because my alone time needs are so high.
Definitely not the jerk. It sounds like he literally never
leaves the house. That would drive me crazy. Can you
maybe do a staycation by yourself?
Speaker 2 (32:12):
You're the jerk.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
You're upset that your boyfriend is in his house and
working from his house, and you don't get a loane
time again in his house. Your solution to your boyfriend
having the audacity to be in his home too much
is to childishly leave the room, move out if it's
such a problem, and rent an apartment. Honestly, if you
think your boyfriend being in his home is a problem,
(32:34):
you should end it. He shouldn't be expected to leave
his house to accommodate you wanting alone time. The entitlement
of you and everyone in the comments mad he won't
compromise about being in his house, you pain. Rent doesn't
change anything about it being only his house. At best,
you're a tenant, and that's only if you have a contract.
(32:54):
Support our channel by joining as a member today and
we'll give you a shout out in our next video.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Come watch this video next. You won't believe what Karen
does in that one
Hey there, mister Redder here, welcome back to another episode
of Reddit podcast Stories. Our first story we'll be reading today,
Karen's sister in law loses it on me for canceling
my Netflix without telling her. After that, am I the
jerk for not including my niece and my daughter's birthday
since our parents can't afford it? And after that, your
trash cans may only be out at specific times. Now
(00:22):
for every thumbs up this video gits one, Karen has
to get her own Netflix account. I'm fine with that
as long as you let me stay on your Disney Plus.
So please smash that like button and subscribe and turn
on notifications for new stories from Reddit every single day.
Karen's sister in law loses it on me for canceling
my Netflix without telling her. Me forty one female and
(00:45):
my husband forty two male, subscribe to Netflix seven years
ago when our daughter, who's eighteen, asked us to. We
were in a difficult financial situation at the time, but
said we'd give it some thought. We caved, however, only
on the condition that she spends one night a week
watching it with us. Two years after, my brother, who's
thirty four, married his wife who's thirty six. She was
(01:07):
married previously and has twin daughters who are ten. I
love them to pieces. Sister in law then gave birth
to their son, and all heck broke loose. My nieces
were constantly dropped off at either our house or their
maternal grandparents' house. There wasn't a word of warning. They
were just dropped off and picked up the next day
to be deposited somewhere else. I told my brother that
(01:29):
we had to talk after a month of this. He
text me back a week later and asked for my
Netflix log in. He said they needed for bonding time.
I should have called BS, but he's my brother and
I didn't want to refuse him. Recently, my nieces and
I were at the park with our youngest daughter, who's eleven.
One of my nieces asked to sit with me. She
(01:49):
asked why they don't visit off in anymore. I say
that she should be happy spending time with her parents.
She admits that they are left to watch Netflix while
sister in law and brother spend time with the baby.
When I got home, I told my husband. He was
beyond furious, shaming my brother for being a bad father.
His words biological or not. I couldn't disagree. It was
(02:12):
me who had the idea to unsubscribe altogether, and this
went beyond teaching them a lesson. We never really used
it anymore. My eldest complains that they're apparently going to
ban account sharing. This would be a bad thing because
she's across the country in college and is the only
person who somewhat actively uses it alongside sister in law.
My husband admitted that the money for the subscription could
(02:34):
and probably should, go towards more useful things. We let
our subscription expire, and my sister in law soon came knocking.
She went off on us for canceling, that it wasn't
our call to make since they used the account too. YadA, YadA, YadA.
Here's where I think I might be the jerk. I
shut the door in her face and said that she
needs to seriously self reflect. She scoffed and left. Ever since,
(02:58):
I haven't seen them, sister in law has gone radio silent,
and my brother speaks to me through our parents. This
not only upsets me, but my kids too, particularly my son,
who's fifteen. My brother promised to take him to a
sport event this week but has since canceled. Deep down,
I know that I did the right thing. However, I
frankly feel like crap seeing how miserable my kids are.
(03:20):
Not only that, but my niece's relationship with him and
sister in law is totally unsalvageable. According to my brother
in a Facebook post blaming me and my husband for
his now difficult family life, which has led to a
few nasty comments, I'm wondering if I should have just
remained complicit. I'm tempted to resubscribe just for the sake
of making things a little more peaceful as per and ultimatum.
(03:42):
My sister in law and brother wagered.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Am I the jerk? Not the jerk?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I honestly don't even need to read this story to
tell you you're not the jerk. Why should you have
to warn someone who's mooching off you that you're going
to cancel your subscription? She wants Netflix, she can pay
for her owns subscription. Am I the jerk for not
including my niece and my daughter's birthday since our parents
can't afford it. I'm thirty one female. My daughter, who's eight,
(04:09):
and my niece, who's also eight, were born ten days apart.
Due to this, Ever since they were little, my sister
in law, who's twenty nine, has always pushed for them
to have a shared birthday party. When the girls were younger,
around one to four, we used to do shared birthday parties,
but my husband and I realized that we were always
the ones to foot the bill for everything, food, decoration, location, etc.
(04:33):
The girls also were complete opposites. My daughter has always
been more of a tomboy while my niece is super girly.
But my husband and I telled sister in law and
my brother that we won't be doing this shared birthday anymore.
They were really upset and it started a huge fight.
They said they can't afford to throw a nice birthday
for my niece, but we can, so it makes sense
(04:54):
that we pay for it since we're family. Yeah, not
gonna fly with my husband and I, so we stuck
by what we said, and ever since, the girls have
had separate birthdays. My daughter and my husband love watching
Formula One together and she wanted to have a Formula
one themed birthday this year. The weekend before the birthday,
we had a family dinner at my parents' house, sister
(05:15):
in law, my brother, and niece were present. My parents
were asking the girls if they were excited for their upcoming.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Birthdays and if they were having parties this year.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
My daughter told my parents she's having a Formula one
theme party this year. Sister in law answered for my
niece and said they're not going to have a party
for her because things were tight. The conversation was left there.
Fast forward to this past weekend. Daughter's birthday was on Saturday.
We had the party and it was going great. The
whole family was invited as usual, and everyone was having
(05:46):
a great time until the cake. I'm in the kitchen
with my mom, mother in law, sister in law, and
a few other family friends talking. I pulled the cake
out to get ready to bring it out for everyone.
Sister in law takes a look at the cake and
looks infused. Sister in law, is this the girl's birthday cake?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Me? What do you mean the girls? The cake is
for my daughter?
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Sister in law, Well, I thought, since I mentioned that
things are tight this year, that you'd include niece's name
and the birthday. Me. I understand your situation, but how
come you never once mentioned this to me? Well, I
thought it would be common sense now, my daughter isn't
going to have any kind of celebration for her birthday
this year because you and your husband are so selfish.
(06:31):
She then stormed out of the kitchen, made a huge
scene at the party outside, yelling to her husband and
my niece that it's time to go, and they left.
Since then, she's been messaging me and my husband NonStop,
trying to make us feel guilty that my niece isn't
going to have a birthday party and calling us all
kinds of names. I feel bad that my niece isn't
going to get a birthday party. Am I the jerk
(06:51):
for not including her even though they can't afford it?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
First of all, it's simply not your job to make
sure your niece has a party. That's up to her parents.
If things are tight, maybe they need to be creative,
but it's still on them. Secondly, it's ridiculous for her
to think that hinting around will get her daughter added
to the party. If it was as important to her
as she acts like it is, then she should have
had a frank conversation with you and simply asked. You
(07:17):
could have still said no, but there wouldn't have been
the confusion. This is on them, not you, not the jerk,
but I'm very confused. How much money can you possibly
invest in an eight year old's birthday party? Most of
my kid's birthdays have been at the park with a
self made chocolate cake, some sweets, a fruit salad, a
treasure hunt, and some balloons. If you want a cool
(07:38):
location or a VIP experience or whatever, you can spend more, obviously,
but that's completely optional. Kids at that age mostly want
to have fun with their friends and blow out their candles.
Your trash cans can only be out at a specific time.
We live in an hoa and if you don't, lucky you.
We've never had any real problems. They don't do much
(08:00):
other than make sure the park and gardens look good. Anyhow,
for whatever reason, they decided to add a new rule.
It wasn't needed, but I guess they got bored and
wanted something to do. Maybe someone kept leaving their trash
cans out all week. Fine, just ask them not to,
It's not that hard. The new rule states when trash
cans can be put out, they can't be out before
(08:21):
six am on Wednesdays and must be put back before
six pm the same day. This is obviously stupid and
has a few problems. First of all, some people use
a different company, The HOA provided one goes on Wednesday
and it's cheap, so most people use it, but you
don't have to. Some people have theirs go on Monday
or Tuesday. Also, a lot of people here work in
(08:42):
the medical field and just aren't home during those times,
so no one is there to put out or bring
in their cans. So a few of us got together
on how to comply but be annoying about it. We
decided to comply with their set times as best we can.
Take it out at six when a lot of us
go to work or go for a morning walk, and
take it back in at six since most of us
(09:03):
are home. Some of us help by taking others bends
to the street if they're at work. But when it's
time to take out the trash, doing it as loud
as possible. Ben has wheels, drag it, got it to
the street, make sure it's firmly placed on the street,
need to take out the other bag.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Slap it in there and let the lid slam shot.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
For those who have trash go out on other days,
comply with the times, but do it on your own
trash day. Then also put them out on Wednesday as required,
if you can leave trash in them and leave the
lid open so it would bake in the sun all day. Yes,
it did smell like hot trash. That's the point. After
three weeks of this, an email was sent out, the
(09:43):
rule was thrown out, and we were all simply asked
to put out and take in our cans within a
reasonable amount of time, preferably on trash day. Was it
really that hard to ask nicely? Why not just address
whoever was the problem? Know that because an HOA rule
was changed, a lawyer was paid to look over it
before the CCNR could be updated. That means this stupid
(10:04):
rule cost every resident money. Anyhow, we are already planning
on voting out one member of the board who we
know is the problem come this summer election. Am I
the jerk for refusing to show my husband the rest
of the ultrasound photos of our baby? I twenty six female.
I'm married to Bill, who's thirty. We're expecting our first
baby together in three weeks. But I have an eight
(10:26):
year old from a previous relationship. To put it lightly,
Bill has no filter whatsoever. It's extremely annoying at times,
since I'm someone that overthinks everything and will go over
what I'm about to say ten times before it leaves
my mouth to make sure it's not rude. He thinks
there might be something wrong with him because he doesn't
understand social cues and he's pretty awkward, but he won't
(10:47):
get checked for anything. Today I went for an appointment
and they did a four D ultrasound because they haven't
been able to see his face lately due to him
always sucking on his thumb. I've never had a forty
ultra sound before, so I was excited to see my baby.
Of course, like all forty ultra sounds, the baby looked
like a crisp lasagna when you don't know what you're
(11:08):
looking at, but still cute and exciting seeing your baby
and all of their facial features for the first time.
I got home and waited for Bill to come home
so I could show him the photos and videos. I
have him sit down, and I clicked on the best
clearest photo we got to show him. First a few
photos he had his hand up or was that a
bad angle or the umbilical cord was giving him a
(11:29):
handlebar mustache.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
He looks at the photo and.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
I'm pointing out that his eyes and nose and mouth,
et cetera, and the first thing out of his mouth is.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Wow, he's ugly.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Immediately, I get mad, lock my phone and refuse to
show him any other photos. He asked if that was
the only photo I got, and I said no, I
got more, But why should I show them to you
if you're just going to sit there and call him ugly.
I was so excited to show you these, and you've
completely ruined the moment because you don't know how to
shut your mouth. He looked shocked that I was mad,
(12:02):
and said it's fair game because I call the baby
names all the time. When I'm in a ton of pain,
I'll say things like this little crap won't get out
of my ribs. I told him it was completely different,
and he claims it's not and he should be allowed
to call him ugly, and also said hopefully that's not
how he'll look when he comes out. I just refuse
to show him any more photos and I told him
(12:24):
to get out of the room. He's mad that I
won't show him the rest and still doesn't understand why
I'm upset. I'm pregnant, so maybe it's just hormones getting
to me. So am I the jerk? Did I overreact?
Or is he just an idiot? Edit? To answer some
common questions I keep getting asked, is he on the spectrum?
Speaker 2 (12:42):
We don't know. He and I have both.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Stated that might be the case, but he refuses to
get tested because he's scared he might be. I understand
this is an issue, but I can't force him to go.
I've encouraged him as much as I can and as
often as I can, but he doesn't want to get
a diagnosis. He was joking, Unfortunately, he wasn't. I poked
fun at these types of ultrasounds in my past. I
(13:05):
can joke around about it easily. The problem is that
he didn't say it in any slight amount of joking way.
It was wow, he's ugly, one hundred percent serious and
matter of fact. This was a final straw moment for me.
I've been on him for the past two weeks about
his comments like this about other people. He's been saying
very shallow, judgmental things, and I don't think it's right.
(13:27):
You shouldn't call the baby my baby. It's both of yours.
I understand where you're coming from, but there's a reason
I called him my baby. We got married, agreed we
wanted to try for a baby, and tried for several months.
This was not a surprise, and we both decided we
wanted a baby after I got pregnant. Any single little
owl that was uncomfortable I'm throwing up from all this
(13:49):
morning sickness, or anything that wasn't just absolute praise to
the baby, I was to, well, you wanted this. Every
time I explain how much I didn't like him saying that,
because it sounds like I'm the only one that wants
the baby and he.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Doesn't care, and he still says it.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
We compromised, and as a running joke now I call
him my baby because I'm the one that wanted him.
When talking about the baby, Bill will often say my
boy or our baby. I never corrected him or have
ever said no, it's my baby, not yours, because it's
not that serious. But that's why I said my baby
in the post. A ton of commenters are saying I'm
(14:27):
the jerk because babies are ugly. If you can look
your excited pregnant wife in the eyes as she's expressing
her joy overseeing the baby that you guys will be
holding in just a few short weeks and respond with
it's ugly, then you are the problem. There's a million
other things you can say. And now, after I give
birth on what should be an amazing moment, I'm going
(14:47):
to be scared that he's going to say that again.
Instead of focusing on my baby, I'm going to worry
if my husband is thinking that the baby's ugly. Luckily,
thanks to some lovely redditors, I have the comeback. He
looks just like you in my pocket.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Now.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
I didn't show him the rest of the photos because
I showed him the best ones. You could see his
face and chubby cheeks perfectly. It didn't look creepy or weird.
So if he could look at the best picture and
say you, why would I show him the rest that
have his hand in the way or shot a bad angle.
There's no point in me having to get my feelings
repeatedly hurt just so he can see photos that are
considered mess ups.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Anyway, no jerks here.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
If you were upset by what he said, I can
understand why you wouldn't want to show him more. But
let's be honest, those photos are very creepy. Why did
you have a baby with this guy? Not the jerk,
but wow, your husband is something lack of social cues
or not. He doesn't need to say every thought that
pops into his head, and you calling the baby a
(15:47):
little crap because they are physically in your ribs is
not comparable to calling him ugly. Everyone sucks here, You too,
need to stop.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
It seems to.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Be a lot of tension surrounding the birth of your
expected baby. Your husband should admit that that was a
boneheaded thing to say, and you should show him the
rest of the pictures. You two better grow up before
the real baby gets here. You're the jerk dad. Calling
the baby ugly is something you're both supposed to laugh at.
Let's face it, lots of newborns are ugly and there's
(16:16):
nothing wrong with that. You need to take a chill
pill and realize that you're taking life way too seriously.
Most babies get less ugly as they get older, so seriously,
quit tripping out over small things and just enjoy life.
My hubby made jokes about our baby being ugly too,
so I'd always hit him with something like, Yeah, looks
like he's really taking after you. Unfortunately, guess what, he
(16:39):
stopped calling him ugly after that. By getting mad and
freaking out over people saying things, all you're doing is
giving them power over you, letting them control your emotions.
We need to be able to control our emotions when
people say things that upset us, and fire back at
them with words to give them a taste of their
own medicine. Edit. I get that not everyone can come
(16:59):
up up with witty responses at all times, but I
stand by what I said. When you flip out over
literal words that someone said to you, you're just showing
your lack of self control. Manager tried throwing me under
the bus, so I showed everyone her incompetence. I recently
resigned from a toxic workplace as a data analyst at
a startup. It was promising at the start, but not
(17:21):
long after I noticed many red flags, including the fact
that my manager had absolutely no data analysis or management
experience prior to being promoted. How can you manage analysts
without knowing basic Excel functions. I ignored those red flags
and trusted her leadership because I liked the company's goals.
Little did I know this would be the worst decision ever.
(17:43):
I basically did all the work for a team for
the whole year.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
I was there.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
When I ran the numbers for reporting an analysis of
team performances, she always asked me to dumb it down
so she can present it to high level management. I
thought everything was going well because I only got good
feedback from her and the rest of the team. About
a month ago, a coworker who I don't get along
with made a complaint about me, which was absolutely untrue.
(18:08):
Manager believed it without investigating, and all of a sudden,
I was placed on a PIP. She spouted all types
of lies to HR and when I refuted those claims
with written evidence, they doubled down and started gaslighting me.
You're just too negative. I refused to sign and was
threatened with termination, so I complied and started building a
(18:28):
case against them. I knew she was doing the PIP
to terminate me, and she looked for internal candidates to
replace me in secret, because she was dumb enough to
set the meeting up beside me. Once I signed my
contract for a new job, I did basically forget all
and started working from home. Before my resignation, She asked
me to do some reporting for her, so I ran
(18:50):
the numbers and sent her the raw data, told her
where the files were located, and that she can analyze
the data and make the presentation herself.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Since she's the data analyst manager, she should know how
to do it.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
She tried reporting me for that, but ultimately backfired because
they asked her if the work that I did was
actually wrong and was forced to admit she didn't know
what she was looking at. Everything else in the team
was questioned, and I believe they are now being audited
by an external investigator. Credibility destroyed. I'm now working for
a small manager who is competent and has clear goals
(19:23):
for the team. But that was a heck of a ride.
Small win against toxic management, but a win is a win.
EDIT PIP is a performance improvement plan. It's used by
managers to address under performance and start a documentation process,
usually used as a first step to fire someone or
phase them out. Am I the jerk for lighting a
(19:44):
match at night and scaring my boyfriend's dad. My boyfriend
and I are staying at his parents' house. It's been
going really well, but his dad is very particular He
has moments every day where he corrects or instructs the
other people in the house on how he wants us
to behave. I don't really have a problem with it,
but he has a few rules that do make me
a little uncomfortable. I don't need to get into why,
(20:07):
but I always have stomach issues here. I've been visiting
them a few times a year for almost a decade,
and it just is what it is. My boyfriend and
I used to stay in a room downstairs with a
bathroom and it wasn't a problem, but his brother moved
back home and now we don't have our own bathroom.
I don't want to advertise the fact that I have
stomach issues to everyone in the house, and I'm not
allowed to use the bathroom fan at night, so I
(20:29):
usually use popery or just a drop. When we got
home the last time, my boyfriend got a text from
his dad asking him to ask me to stop using
strong essential oils as it was making him feel sick.
I was so embarrassed, and I honestly have been kind
of dreading coming here again. I was talking to my
mom about this, and she suggested that I bring some
(20:49):
paper matches because that's what she used to do. I
got some paper matches and they actually work pretty well. Tonight,
I woke up from my sleep because I had stomach issues.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I lit a match.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
When I was done, ran it under some water, and
folded it up into some aluminum before throwing it in
the garbage. I fell back asleep and was woken up
a while later by a big commotion. My boyfriend's dad
smelled burning and thought the house was on fire, so
he woke everyone up in a panic and searched the
house to see what was burning.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
I didn't immediately.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Equate a match with a house fire, and I didn't
smell anything when I woke up, so I didn't bring
up that I had lit a match. It wasn't even
clicking for me that the match was what he smelled
until my boyfriend asked me if I smelled anything when
I got up earlier to use the bathroom. Long story short,
I just got chewed out by his dad for lighting
matches at night, or lighting matches in general as a
(21:41):
guest in their home, and even his mom was upset
because I could have started a fire and nobody would know.
I apologized and everyone went back to bed, But then
my boyfriend lectured me for like fifteen minutes about embarrassing
him and playing dumb about not knowing what his dad
smelled and not using commons, and then he told me
(22:01):
to go to sleep and try not to wake everyone
up again. I'm honestly so upset. My boyfriend is sleeping soundly,
and I'm just laying here getting madder and madder.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I just want to.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Wake them up so we can leave because I feel
so uncomfortable. I really don't want to face everyone in
the morning. I don't feel like I did anything wrong,
but I don't know if I'm thinking rationally because I'm
tired and I can't fall back asleep.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
What do you think, am I the jerk?
Speaker 1 (22:28):
I think you get stomach issues at these people's home
because it's an incredibly stressful environment where you are walking
on eggshells the entire time to tiptoe around his extremely
volatile and aggressive father. I mean, goodness, have these people
never owned a candle? Not the jerk, Not the jerk folks.
If a match has been run underwater, then short of
(22:48):
the intervention of God himself, that match is not going
to start a fire. Good grief wrapping it in tinfoil
is already a step further than reason dictates adults can
be trusted to dispose of matches. This poor woman has
endured repeated visits to this clearly disturbed man's home. She's
doing literally everything she can think of to be respectful
of his deranged behavior. Something is wrong with this family.
(23:11):
At a minimum, they're enabling the father's personality disorder. Stay
away from these people. You're the jerk. Lighting matches in
someone else's home is a huge and no no, All
it takes is one little mistake, and you can be
the cause of a house fire that burns down their
entire house. Not smart or necessary in any way. If
you want to cause potential fires in your own home,
(23:32):
you have every right but to take this risk in
someone else's home, they had every right to be furious,
and I would have done the same next time. Try
not to light any fires in other people's homes in
the middle of the night while they're asleep. Woman confuses
me for employee, gets locked out of the store, leaving
her groceries behind. So last night, I'm finishing up my
(23:53):
shift as an EMT and it's been a long and
tiring one. The calls weren't bad, but there were a
lot of them and we were all over the county.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Shift is over.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
I change back into my comfy clothes soe it's T
shirt and hoodie, and I head to the store to
get something for dinner. I get there just in time,
since they're closing in ten minutes. I assure the cashier
that I was just grabbing something quick, and I go
and pick up a lasagna from the frozen section. I
grab it and turned ahead to the checkout when I
hear ahrm.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Not a throat.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Clearing sound, but someone's saying it like they were reading
it out loud. I turn around and I see a
woman who snaps off with I need you to go
in the back and get me a.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Pack of the frozen pretzels.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
I say that I don't work here and point out
where an employee just went behind an end cap. She snaps,
you do work here, and you need to stop being
lazy and get me my pretzels. I again say I
don't work here, and I turn to walk to the
self check She flips and storms off, muttering about lazy
employees and managers. I finish checking out and I'm grabbing
(24:57):
my stuff and leaving when I see her again with
the car and a manager, and she yells.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
There she is, that's the lazy jerk, and she starts
towards me.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I'm not even going to engage, and so I hold
up my receipt and my one item to the self
check girl and I walk out. I hear the manager
raising his voice and saying ma'am ma'am. Turns out she
left her cart behind and stormed out of the store
to confront me. I get in my car to drive off,
but she's standing in front of it, so I can't
go anywhere. She's also giving me a lashing that I'm
(25:28):
too checked out to really pay attention to.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Great I'm already on my last nerve and this is
just too much.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Manager sticks his head out of the door and hollers, ma'am.
She turns and makes a hushing motion towards him. He
hollers ma'am one more time, and she hollers back, saying
I I'm dealing with your employee, since you're too much
of a little jerk to do it yourself. He bristles
and says madam. She cuts him off with shut up,
(25:56):
screeched at the top of her lungs. He shrugs, and
watch him go back inside, fiddle with the locks, flips
the sign to closed, and pulls down the shades. As
I'm watching this, she gets annoyed that I'm not paying
her my full attention.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
And she yells, what are you looking at that's so
important to ignore me?
Speaker 1 (26:14):
I just pointed at the shop and say they just
closed and locked the doors. I'm not sure what she screamed,
since it was pretty incoherent, but she did run towards
the door. Seeing my chance, I drove off, leaving her
pounding on the door and yelling, am I the jerk
for leaving the room when my boyfriend enters. I'm thirty
five female, My boyfriend is thirty eight male, and we've
(26:36):
been dating for a long time, about seven years. I
moved into his house after a year of dating. He
works Monday through Friday, nine to five job. I take
contract work, and my days and hours very week to week.
I'm an introvert, but I work with lots of people
and basically always have to be on at work, so
I absolutely required time to myself to recharge. Early on
(26:58):
living together, I liked to play one of my days
off on a weekday so I could have the house
to myself. But frequently he'd choose to work from home
or take a sick day on that day, and I
would get frustrated when he didn't leave for work that day.
When I expressed this frustration, he'd get annoyed and angry.
I told him that I just need time to myself occasionally.
It honestly has nothing to do with him, and he responded,
(27:21):
how could it not have anything to do with me?
You just told me you don't want to be around me. Plus,
this is my house. I'll be here when I want
to be. I adapted and got used to living with
less alone time for myself. Things change during lockdown. He
now works from home every day. He gave up some
of his hobbies as well, and it feels like he
never leaves the house anymore. I still work contract work
(27:43):
out of the house, but I know that I will
have virtually no time that is truly to myself when
I'm home. I do all the grocery shopping and lots
of other errands as a means to be alone with myself.
Between the drive and the shopping time, sometimes I just
sit in my car in the parking lot or in
the garage for like an hour in total silence. When
I drive somewhere, sometimes he wonders what has taken me
(28:05):
so long, and I tell him that I just took
my time with the air end. But I still need
space because I feel drained all the time now. And
when I mention that it would be nice to have
some alone time, he dismisses it and says.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Where would I even go right now now?
Speaker 1 (28:19):
I frequently wear earbuds around the house, sometimes not even
playing anything, to cancel out some noise. If I'm in
a room alone and he enters without an obvious plan
to interact with me, I'll get up and move to
a different room where I can continue to be by myself. Example,
if I'm sitting on the couch in the living room
and he enters the kitchen right next to me and
plays a podcast on the echo and starts making food,
(28:41):
I don't ask him to turn off the podcast or leave.
I just silently get up and move to the office.
Or if he comes into the office, maybe I'll go
down to the basement and sit on the laundry table.
I didn't ask him to leave the space or to
stop making noise. I simply remove myself to continue my
alone time. Sometimes he thinks I'm being passive aggressive, are
mad at him, and gets frustrated with me. As far
(29:04):
as I'm concerned, I've expressed my need to have some space,
and if he can't understand, that's on him. I see
it as a compromise to have my alone time and
meet his needs as well. So am I the jerk
for creating my alone time by whatever means necessary? Edit
for clarity. I work out of the house two jobs,
sixty to seventy hours per week, lots of human interaction
(29:25):
at both. He works from home full time since lockdown.
To clarify, I don't leave the room every time he
walks in. It's once or twice per week when he
comes into the space. I have specifically put myself in
to be alone almost always when I get home from work,
after saying hi and checking in, for example, Hey, how
is your day?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
That's great?
Speaker 1 (29:45):
My day was super busy, so I'm heading back downstairs
to relax while you finish your work day.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Still want tacos for dinner? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Cool, let's eat it five thirty before I leave for
job number two. If he comes down to interact with me,
talk to me, help me with whatever I'm working on.
Then I stay and hang out with him. But when
he's just making noise in the room where he knows
I'm trying to quietly relax, I do relocate sometimes edit too.
Not sure where this idea came from that I live
for free in his house, and frankly, I'm not sure
(30:14):
why it's relevant. We split all expenses based on our
income ratio. I pay forty five percent and he pays
fifty five percent of all expenses including mortgage, insurance, utilities, internet, groceries,
house and yard maintenance, etc. I also really enjoy cooking
as a hobby and have some dietary needs, so I
do nearly all of the grocery shopping, cooking, meal prep, breakfast, lunch,
(30:37):
and dinner to cover both of our meals for about
five of the days a week. Probably done responding now,
thanks for all the feedback. It's been helpful and insightful,
and I appreciate the different perspectives.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Peace.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
You're not the jerk for needing time to yourself, but
you need to take a long look in the mirror
and ask if this is a relationship that's sustainable. You
have to very clearly communicate what you need from your
partner and come up with solutions together. And if he
can't compromise with you for your benefit, this is not
the relationship for you. Respecting your partner's need for space
is absolutely necessary. I myself do not need to spend
(31:11):
every moment with my partner, and he's very much like
your boyfriend. I just had to tell him that I
needed time to myself when we were home. He could
play his games and I could watch TV in the
living room or read, but I couldn't entertain him all
the time. Not the jerk he is for not letting
you have some time to yourself. It's a perfectly reasonable
and perfectly normal request. He makes it about him and
(31:33):
ignores your needs. You're going to go crazy if you, guys,
don't work this out. If he won't accept that you
need some space. Do you really want to spend the
rest of your life sitting in your car in the
garage every time you need to be alone? Everyone sucks here.
You both need better communication skills. Tell him outright that
you need to be alone and set boundaries for yourself.
Maybe set up a day with him where he knows
(31:55):
to leave you the heck alone. I'm the exact same
way as you. I don't think I can ever live
with a partner because my alone time needs are so high.
Definitely not the jerk. It sounds like he literally never
leaves the house. That would drive me crazy. Can you
maybe do a staycation by yourself?
Speaker 2 (32:12):
You're the jerk.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
You're upset that your boyfriend is in his house and
working from his house, and you don't get a loane
time again in his house. Your solution to your boyfriend
having the audacity to be in his home too much
is to childishly leave the room, move out if it's
such a problem, and rent an apartment. Honestly, if you
think your boyfriend being in his home is a problem,
(32:34):
you should end it. He shouldn't be expected to leave
his house to accommodate you wanting alone time. The entitlement
of you and everyone in the comments mad he won't
compromise about being in his house, you pain. Rent doesn't
change anything about it being only his house. At best,
you're a tenant, and that's only if you have a contract.
(32:54):
Support our channel by joining as a member today and
we'll give you a shout out in our next video.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Come watch this video next. You won't believe what Karen
does in that one
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Male Room with Dr. Jesse Mills
As Director of The Men’s Clinic at UCLA, Dr. Jesse Mills has spent his career helping men understand their bodies, their hormones, and their health. Now he’s bringing that expertise to The Male Room — a podcast where data-driven medicine meets common sense. Each episode separates fact from hype, science from snake oil, and gives men the tools to live longer, stronger, and happier lives. With candor, humor, and real-world experience from the exam room and the operating room, Dr. Mills breaks down the latest health headlines, dissects trends, and explains what actually works — and what doesn’t. Smart, straightforward, and entertaining, The Male Room is the show that helps men take charge of their health without the jargon.