November 7, 2025 • 24 mins
In this video, we dive into 3 TRUE online dating horror stories that will make you think twice before swiping right again. From charming strangers who turn out to be something far more sinister… to terrifying encounters that started with a simple message — these real-life stories remind us that not everyone online is who they claim to be. 🔪 Get comfortable, turn off the lights, and listen carefully... because these tales of digital dating gone wrong might just make you delete your apps for good. 💀 If you enjoy true scary stories, creepy encounters, and real-life horror tales, hit the LIKE button, SUBSCRIBE for more weekly narrations, and share your own experiences in the comments below. 🎧 Listen with headphones for the best experience. 🕯️ Stay safe. Stay aware. And remember — love might be online… but so are monsters. #TrueScaryStories #OnlineDatingHorrorStories #CreepyEncounters #Storytime #TrueCrime #HorrorNarration 🎧 You can also listen in podcast form "Scary Stories from Bad Vibes"🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6WCjzGChSiOtskaZjonvqz Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/scary-stories-from-bad-vibes/id1614005565 iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/53-bad-vibes-nightmares-94022380/ Deezer: https://www.deezer.com/show/3497187 Podcast Addict: https://podcastaddict.com/podcast/3868720 Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/bad-vibes-nightmares-4264713 JiloSaavn: https://www.jiosaavn.com/shows/Scary-Stories-from-Bad-Vibes/1/A7Unzn6te1Y_ Become a CHANNEL MEMBER for early access for as little as 99 cents a month: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7N-0n6MRuhtRVfCpj_oArQ/join Perhaps buy some MERCH: https://teespring.com/stores/bad-vibes-storytelling Follow me on Social Media: TWITTER: https://twitter.com/BadVibesYOUTUBE INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badvibesstorytelling/ Send your TRUE story in: badvibes760@gmail.com Music by: C.O.A.G https://www.youtube.com/@co.agmusic Music by: Pianogeist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgGUh-R7DEY Timestamps: Story 1: (00:00) Story 2: (08:21) Story 3: (13:31) Stories by: 1. https://tinyurl.com/3k68b8t6 2. Anonymous 3. https://tinyurl.com/mwjyzbs7
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
I don't use Tinder anymore. In fact, I deleted every
dating app off my phone a year ago and haven't
looked back. I used to think the worst thing that
could happen on there was a bad date or getting ghosted.
Turns out that's the best thing that can happen. This
all started February of last year. I'm a male, was
(00:27):
twenty eight, single and honestly just looking for someone to
hang out with. I matched with a girl named Lily.
At least that's what she said it was. Her profile
looked normal enough. Couple of selfies, some picks by the pool,
and one with her dog. She wasn't posting like an influencer,
just normal. Her bio said that she was a nurse,
(00:50):
that she liked early morning coffee and late night drives,
and lived in the town about fifteen minutes from me.
We matched on Wednesday. She messaged first, which I liked.
She was funny, quick, a little flirty, but not over
the top. We talked for about three days straight before
if she asked if I wanted to meet it for drinks.
(01:14):
Our first date was at a small bar downtown. She
was already there when I arrived, wearing a big oversized
sweater and ripped jeans. Honestly, she was prettier in person,
but there was something a little off about her eyes,
like she was trying too hard to read me. Still,
the night went well. She left on my dumb jokes,
(01:36):
touched my arm when she talked. I thought, Okay, maybe
this could actually go somewhere. The second date was dinner.
That's when I started to notice she'd kind of overstepped.
She kept asking about my ex, how long we dated,
why we broke up, if I still talked to her.
When I would try to change the subject, she'd just
(01:58):
stared back, always with this half smile, like she was
testing how honest i'd be. After dinner, she wanted me
to come over to watch a movie. I said maybe
another time. I had work early The next morning, her
smile dropped just for a second before she said, sure, yeah,
you're probably tired. We're something along those lines. I honestly
(02:22):
didn't think much of it, but the next morning I
woke up to a text from her at three am.
I had a really good time. I feel like I've
known you forever. Okay, a little intense, but not deal breaking,
I replied. The next day, something simple like, yeah, I
had fun too. But then it started. She texted me
(02:44):
every morning before I even woke up, Good morning, hope
you're thinking of me? Did you dreamove me last night?
Stuff like that. I wasn't responding much, and she noticed.
She sent me a message and said, you're not other
guys I can tell. Please don't ignore me. That's when
(03:04):
I started pulling back even more. I told her I'd
been busy at work. She said she understood, then sent
me a photo of my workplace outside of my building.
She captioned it, guess who's nearby with a kissy face.
I froze. I hadn't even told her where I worked.
(03:25):
I asked her how she knew. She just said, you
mentioned it when we were talking about commutes. She could
be telling the truth. I honestly don't even remember that.
I went outside, didn't see her or her car. She
must have taken the picture and left. I told myself,
maybe it was a coincidence. Maybe she really just happened
(03:46):
to be nearby Naive. A week later, she showed up
at the same coffee shop I go to every morning
before work. I was in line and she suddenly was
right behind me, smiling like she playing it, Hey, what
are the odds? I laughed awkwardly and said hi, but
inside my stomach was turning. She followed me to a table,
(04:10):
sat down uninvited, and started talking to me like we
had been dating for months. She even reached across the
table to grab my hand. I pulled back and said
I had to get going. That night, I decided to
end it. I sent her along message saying she seemed nice,
but I didn't feel a connection and thought it would
(04:30):
be best if we didn't see each other again. She
never did reply. No text the next day, no calls.
I actually felt relieved. Maybe she got the hint. That Friday,
I stayed late at work, and when I walked up
to the parking lot, there was a sticky note on
my windshield you shouldn't ignore people who care about you.
(04:53):
My heart was pounding so hard I could barely breathe.
There wasn't a camera in the lot and no one
had seen anything. I drove home and spent the night
checking every window locked twice. The next few weeks were quiet.
I convinced myself she had finally moved on. Then my
coworker asked if my girlfriend had dropped something off, I said,
(05:17):
but girlfriend, and he showed me a small paper bag
that had been left at reception with my name on it.
Inside were cookies a polarooted photo of me sitting in
my car looking down at my phone. That photo broke
something to me. It wasn't from a distance barely across
the street. It was close passenger side, which meant she
(05:39):
had been right next to my car at some point.
I went to the police. They said unless she made
a threat or actually hurt me, there wasn't much they
could do. Block her number, they said, if she contacts
you again, we'll make a report. I blocked her on everything,
tender phone, Instagram, everything. I even switched up my route
(06:02):
to work and changed coffee shops. For a while. It worked.
Then one night, about a month or two later, I
woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my bedroom window.
I have gravel outside my window, and gravel makes a
lot of noise, and my bedroom was on the first floor.
I grabbed my phone, but before I could even in
(06:24):
the locket, I heard whispering. I couldn't make out any
of the words, but it was definitely a woman's voice.
I turned on my light and the whispering stopped. I
waited for what felt like an hour on edge, staring
at the window. Eventually I convinced myself it might have
been my neighbor's or a stray animal, till the next
(06:46):
morning I found something on my porch, a single red
rose and another polaroid, this one much worse than the first.
Me sleeping the light from my TV in the background.
My apartment was shit anyway, so I moved. I broke
my two months least early, packed up everything I owned,
and went to stay with my brother on the other
(07:08):
side of the city. I didn't tell anyone, not even
close friends, where I was going. For a while, it
was quiet, I started to relax again, started going out,
trying to pretend none of it happened. I even got
a new job. But a month after the move, I
got a call from my unknown number. I usually ignore those,
(07:30):
but had our area code, so I answered without thinking.
There was silence at first, then in a calm, almost
cheerful voice, a woman said, I found you. Then they
hung up. That was eight months ago, and I haven't
heard from her since. But sometimes when I leave for
work early in the morning, I have this feeling that
someone's watching me from the parking lot. I glanced around,
(07:53):
not seeing anyone, telling myself it's just my paranoia. But
every once in a while I noticed the car following
me for a little too long. I tell myself it's
not her, that it can't be. But this text that
she sent me right before I blocked her, that I
can't get out of my head always comes back to
the top. You can't just unmatch what's meant to be.
(08:22):
This happened about two years ago. I was twenty seven,
living in a small apartment in Austin, and I had
just gotten out of a long term relationship. My friends
convinced me to try Bumble, the less creepy dating app
where women message first. That made me feel safer, like
(08:43):
I had control over whoever I talked to. His name
was Evan, late twenties, dark hair, clean cut in that
tech guy way. His profile said that he worked in cybersecurity,
he liked camping and was looking for someone real. The
pictures were normal, no shirtless selfies, no weird filters, just
(09:06):
him hiking, holding the dog, smiling with friends. We matched
on Thursday. I messaged him first, because that's how Bumble works.
He was polite, and funny. Maybe a little awkward, but
I kind of liked that. We talked for about a
week before he asked me if I wanted to grab coffee.
(09:28):
We met at this place called Merrit Coffee on South Lamar.
I remember he was already sitting at a table when
I got there, facing the door, like he wanted to
make sure he saw me first. He stood up right away,
offered it buy me a drink, and smiled a little
too wide. But I might have been over analyzing. At first,
(09:51):
the date was fine. He asked me about my job,
my family, where I grew up. But as the conversation
went on, there was this weird shift, like he was
studying me more than listening. Every time I looked up,
he was just staring, not in a flirty way, but
in this blank, intense way, like he was memorizing my face.
(10:15):
Then he started asking strange questions. How do you feel
about people who lie? Have you ever cheated on anyone?
What's your biggest fear? He wasn't smiling when he asked.
It wasn't banter. It felt like an interview, or maybe
an interrogation. When I gave vague answers, he tilted his
(10:37):
head a little like he didn't believe me. I remember
saying something like, you seem like the kind of person
who keeps secrets. I laughed awkwardly and said, don't we all.
After about an hour, I said I had to meet
up with a friend. He didn't offer to walk me out,
which I was fine with. As I stood up, he said,
(11:00):
prettier in person pictures never fully capture people, you know.
I smiled politely and said goodbye. That night, he texted,
had a really great time today. We should do dinner soon.
I didn't respond. Something about him made my skin crawl.
(11:20):
I couldn't even pinpoint it, just to gut feeling. The
next morning, another text. Did I say something wrong? Then
a few hours later, I just want to understand. I
thought we had a connection. That was enough for me.
I unmatched him on bumble, blocked his number, and went
(11:41):
on with my life. For months, nothing I forgot about him.
Then about a year later, I was eating dinner with
my roommate half watching the local news when a photo
on the screen made me stop cold. It was him. Evan.
The anchor said something about a missing woman, his girlfriend
(12:02):
and how he was wanted for questioning. They showed a
picture of the woman smiling in front of a lake,
then a mug shot photo of him from a previous arrest.
The reporter said the police believe he fled the state.
I sat there, frozen, spooned halfway in my mouth. My
roommate turned to me and said, you okay. I couldn't
(12:25):
even speak. Over the next week, it was everywhere Reddit threads,
even TikTok videos about the case. Turns out they found
a woman's body a few miles outside of the city.
She had been missing for weeks before anyone realized it.
A news report said that he had quit his job
(12:46):
abruptly and drained his bank account. Last I heard, they
think he crossed into Mexico and he's still on the loose.
I didn't tell anyone we had gone on a date.
I don't even know why. Maybe because that felt too surreal,
or maybe because I was scared someone would asked me
why I didn't see it. I think about that coffee
(13:07):
date a lot. How He asked me what my biggest
fear was. I said something stupid, like probably being alone,
and I could still remember clear as day. He said
something along the lines of that's not so bad. Alone
means you won't get hurt. Back in twenty fourteen, I'd
(13:33):
gone on a first date with this guy and matched
with on Tender. I lived in DC at the time
and worked on Capitol Hill for our US congressman. I
was twenty eight or twenty nine at the time. He
was nice, handsome, and a self declared Southern gentleman, but
he was extremely pushy leading up to our first day.
(13:53):
My job was even more insanely busy than normal during
that time and requiring frequent all nighters, and in exactly
zero social life to speak of. Looking back now, it
was painfully obvious that I absolutely did not have the
time or space in my life or dating back then.
But after months of my bestie begging me to let
her create a Tinder profile, I basically surrendered. For weeks.
(14:19):
I tried to reschedule set first date due to work
being crazy, but Tinder guy would literally not take no
for an answer. He was also extremely manipulative and clearly
gifted at it, as he basically guilt tripped me broke
me down to finally agree on a first date with him.
Only dinner was mentioned for the date, so I go
(14:39):
on the date while the date went fine on paper
and probably looked as such to any fellow patrons or bystanders.
Tinder Guy, nonetheless kind of gave me the ick for
some reason. At the time, I couldn't lock down why
he was nice, polite, had a great job, was attractive,
(15:00):
but still something about the way he would continue to
stare at me so intently without blinking was so unsettling.
It was like he was playing some intense, weird ass
staring contest where he was the only contestant. There were
a lot of other eggs and red flags during the day,
but the first major one was the fact that I
(15:21):
was casually held hostage, or at least it felt that way.
At the conclusion of our dinner, and after politely thinking
him for the meal, knowing one hundred percent that there
will be no second date, I tried to make my
exit home, telling him that I had a busy early
workday ahead of me, not a lie. Instead, Tender Guy
(15:42):
of course pressures me into going to a bar next
door for a nightcap. Looking back now and thinksotherapy I've
learned a lot about manipulation and how it can be weaponized.
Tender Guy was a master at it, and I had
no chance. After two drinks that I didn't want, I
(16:02):
mentioned that I need to go home with a little
bit more forceless time. Tinder guy acts like he doesn't
hear me, gets up and heads to the bar before
returning with beers for both of us. I'm beginning to
get annoyed and super pissed, so after a few minutes,
I fake an income and call from my boss, essentially
channeling my inner marrow screep, and proceed to attempt to
(16:25):
give him the best acting performance of my life. And
not to pat myself on the back or anything, but
I should obviously get all the oscars, because holy shit,
it worked. The good news Tinder guy totally buys my
oscar worthy acting, finally stops ignoring my polite pleas to
go home and agrees to let me his hostage go. However,
(16:47):
he insists on sharing an uber home, even though we
live in a completely separate neighborhood nowhere near each other,
not to mention the obvious fact that I absolutely did
not want this creeper to potentially any sort of idea
where I lived or come anywhere near where I lived.
Quite frankly, I knew at this point that I did
not want to spend one more minute nor have anything
(17:09):
more to do with this creepy stranger, including being trapped
in a confined space like a car with this person,
So I tried to refuse repeatedly as I was feeling
increasingly more uncomfortable and again obviously not wanting him to
see where I live, but he literally wanted to take
no for an answer, So in a major what the
fuck are you doing moment, especially looking back now ten
(17:31):
years later, I silently stomached my anxiety concerns protests, and
we proceed to an uber to my neighborhood, though I
did get out of a different address a few blocks
away from my place so he wouldn't know my exact dress.
As I attempt to disembark from the car as quick
as a flash, the tender guy falls behind me, grass
(17:53):
my shoulder and spins me around, before then aggressively kissing
me like I'm talking straight up up man, handling my
face with his tongue, apologizing for the not safer work description,
especially if it results in bringing up any sort of trauma,
but if I had to experience it, you do too,
(18:13):
As Tinder guy finally lets go over my face, I'm
trying my best to swallow back the vomit, and after
ten minutes of placating him, I finally get him to
accept that this night my first date is finally over,
that I'm going to sleep, and he reluctantly agrees to leave.
As soon as our uber leaves with Tinder Guy and
is out of sight, I run to my actual home,
(18:34):
lock and dead bolt the door. As soon as I
get inside, I literally sink to the floor and disbelieve.
In the end, once I calm down and felt secure again,
I was mostly just relieved to be home, safe and sound,
and that I survived a date with a deeply unsettling, creepy,
and disconcerting man. I'd even joke to my roommates at
(18:55):
the time, can't wait to never talk to that dude again.
Ten years ago me was a naive fool. Instead. Immediately
following our date, Tinder Guy proceeded to send me a
barrage of text that entire rest of the night, fawning
all over me and mostly asking over and over again,
can we face time. Keep in mind this was literally
(19:18):
one hour after I had gotten home from our date.
I lied and said I was already in bed basically asleep.
Since I had absolutely zero intentions of ever speaking to
this person again, I naively thought that was the end
of it. Tinder Guy continued to text me NonStop over
the next few days, and I would either ignore him
(19:39):
or send him short responses. While there was a cop out,
I planned on messaging him the truth, letting him down
gently at the end of the week when I wasn't
swimming and work craziness. As I mentioned earlier, I worked
on Capitol Hill for a US congressman at the time.
As such, my office was subject to strict security screenings
(20:01):
metal detectors X ray scanners at the building entrance, which
also extended to incoming mail, packages and deliveries. So a
day after this first date debacle, I get a call
on my office line from the offsite Capitol Hill Package
Center stating that they're currently processing screening a package for
me and that it should be delivered to my office
(20:22):
in two days. I think, hmm, that's odd. I'm not
expecting anything, so who would mail me something? But I
shrug it off as it's not the first time I
received unsolicited packages due to the nature of my job,
and I basically forgot about it. Until Friday, our office
receptionist came to my cubicle with an over the top
(20:45):
bouquet of roses and a card. I immediately knew who
was responsible. However, the real reason I felt deeply unsettled
was the sheer fact that I never told tinder guy
who I worked for, hell even which state my boss
belonged to. I'd given him literally zero clues as to
whom the member I worked for was. And while my
(21:08):
social media settings were pretty private anyway, I didn't include
the name of the member office in which I worked
in in any of my online profiles, including LinkedIn. I
also didn't give this tender guy my last name, so
I have no idea how he would have found it out.
To begin with, there are five hundred and thirty five
total congressional offices on Capitol Hill. There's approximately fifteen thousand
(21:32):
congressional staffers who worked on the Hill, and there's no
way of telling how many staffers who share my first
name you'd have to go through and searching for my
last name and the office address. To this day, I
have no idea how tender guy found out this identifying
info when I only provided him with my first name
in general employment info. Needless to say, if I wasn't
(21:54):
creeped out enough by this guy before or at that
point now, it was one thousand percent full fled freaked out,
especially reading the note that accompanied the flowers. He talked
about how great of a kisser I was, vomit, what
he wanted to do with me by all raising how
he hoped I could meet his family. Add delusional to
(22:17):
the list of descriptions for this guy and how he
couldn't wait to see me again in your dreams, Bud,
I look forward to seeing you never. One good thing
that came out of this experience is finally and obviously,
gave me the boss to end it with the tender
guy via text. Dating is the fucking worst, and until
this experience, if I was talking to someone but I
(22:39):
also knew at the same time that I wasn't interested,
I was still engaged in respond to their messages, basically
leading them on, all because I didn't want to hurt
their feelings and feel guilty. I now realized how unfair
that was the other person and has felt that I'll
never cop out when it comes to the uncomfortable issues
that the recipient needs and deserves to hear. It also
(23:01):
helped me install a little bit more fuck politeness mantra,
unfortunately in a serious long term relationship now, but while
dating or even in my regular life, if I ever
feel uncomfortable and then easy like tender guy who made
me feel I now fight the urge to be agreeable
and polite and either directly cut ties or at least
(23:22):
explain why I'm blocking before cutting off the communication.
I don't use Tinder anymore. In fact, I deleted every
dating app off my phone a year ago and haven't
looked back. I used to think the worst thing that
could happen on there was a bad date or getting ghosted.
Turns out that's the best thing that can happen. This
all started February of last year. I'm a male, was
(00:27):
twenty eight, single and honestly just looking for someone to
hang out with. I matched with a girl named Lily.
At least that's what she said it was. Her profile
looked normal enough. Couple of selfies, some picks by the pool,
and one with her dog. She wasn't posting like an influencer,
just normal. Her bio said that she was a nurse,
(00:50):
that she liked early morning coffee and late night drives,
and lived in the town about fifteen minutes from me.
We matched on Wednesday. She messaged first, which I liked.
She was funny, quick, a little flirty, but not over
the top. We talked for about three days straight before
if she asked if I wanted to meet it for drinks.
(01:14):
Our first date was at a small bar downtown. She
was already there when I arrived, wearing a big oversized
sweater and ripped jeans. Honestly, she was prettier in person,
but there was something a little off about her eyes,
like she was trying too hard to read me. Still,
the night went well. She left on my dumb jokes,
(01:36):
touched my arm when she talked. I thought, Okay, maybe
this could actually go somewhere. The second date was dinner.
That's when I started to notice she'd kind of overstepped.
She kept asking about my ex, how long we dated,
why we broke up, if I still talked to her.
When I would try to change the subject, she'd just
(01:58):
stared back, always with this half smile, like she was
testing how honest i'd be. After dinner, she wanted me
to come over to watch a movie. I said maybe
another time. I had work early The next morning, her
smile dropped just for a second before she said, sure, yeah,
you're probably tired. We're something along those lines. I honestly
(02:22):
didn't think much of it, but the next morning I
woke up to a text from her at three am.
I had a really good time. I feel like I've
known you forever. Okay, a little intense, but not deal breaking,
I replied. The next day, something simple like, yeah, I
had fun too. But then it started. She texted me
(02:44):
every morning before I even woke up, Good morning, hope
you're thinking of me? Did you dreamove me last night?
Stuff like that. I wasn't responding much, and she noticed.
She sent me a message and said, you're not other
guys I can tell. Please don't ignore me. That's when
(03:04):
I started pulling back even more. I told her I'd
been busy at work. She said she understood, then sent
me a photo of my workplace outside of my building.
She captioned it, guess who's nearby with a kissy face.
I froze. I hadn't even told her where I worked.
(03:25):
I asked her how she knew. She just said, you
mentioned it when we were talking about commutes. She could
be telling the truth. I honestly don't even remember that.
I went outside, didn't see her or her car. She
must have taken the picture and left. I told myself,
maybe it was a coincidence. Maybe she really just happened
(03:46):
to be nearby Naive. A week later, she showed up
at the same coffee shop I go to every morning
before work. I was in line and she suddenly was
right behind me, smiling like she playing it, Hey, what
are the odds? I laughed awkwardly and said hi, but
inside my stomach was turning. She followed me to a table,
(04:10):
sat down uninvited, and started talking to me like we
had been dating for months. She even reached across the
table to grab my hand. I pulled back and said
I had to get going. That night, I decided to
end it. I sent her along message saying she seemed nice,
but I didn't feel a connection and thought it would
(04:30):
be best if we didn't see each other again. She
never did reply. No text the next day, no calls.
I actually felt relieved. Maybe she got the hint. That Friday,
I stayed late at work, and when I walked up
to the parking lot, there was a sticky note on
my windshield you shouldn't ignore people who care about you.
(04:53):
My heart was pounding so hard I could barely breathe.
There wasn't a camera in the lot and no one
had seen anything. I drove home and spent the night
checking every window locked twice. The next few weeks were quiet.
I convinced myself she had finally moved on. Then my
coworker asked if my girlfriend had dropped something off, I said,
(05:17):
but girlfriend, and he showed me a small paper bag
that had been left at reception with my name on it.
Inside were cookies a polarooted photo of me sitting in
my car looking down at my phone. That photo broke
something to me. It wasn't from a distance barely across
the street. It was close passenger side, which meant she
(05:39):
had been right next to my car at some point.
I went to the police. They said unless she made
a threat or actually hurt me, there wasn't much they
could do. Block her number, they said, if she contacts
you again, we'll make a report. I blocked her on everything,
tender phone, Instagram, everything. I even switched up my route
(06:02):
to work and changed coffee shops. For a while. It worked.
Then one night, about a month or two later, I
woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my bedroom window.
I have gravel outside my window, and gravel makes a
lot of noise, and my bedroom was on the first floor.
I grabbed my phone, but before I could even in
(06:24):
the locket, I heard whispering. I couldn't make out any
of the words, but it was definitely a woman's voice.
I turned on my light and the whispering stopped. I
waited for what felt like an hour on edge, staring
at the window. Eventually I convinced myself it might have
been my neighbor's or a stray animal, till the next
(06:46):
morning I found something on my porch, a single red
rose and another polaroid, this one much worse than the first.
Me sleeping the light from my TV in the background.
My apartment was shit anyway, so I moved. I broke
my two months least early, packed up everything I owned,
and went to stay with my brother on the other
(07:08):
side of the city. I didn't tell anyone, not even
close friends, where I was going. For a while, it
was quiet, I started to relax again, started going out,
trying to pretend none of it happened. I even got
a new job. But a month after the move, I
got a call from my unknown number. I usually ignore those,
(07:30):
but had our area code, so I answered without thinking.
There was silence at first, then in a calm, almost
cheerful voice, a woman said, I found you. Then they
hung up. That was eight months ago, and I haven't
heard from her since. But sometimes when I leave for
work early in the morning, I have this feeling that
someone's watching me from the parking lot. I glanced around,
(07:53):
not seeing anyone, telling myself it's just my paranoia. But
every once in a while I noticed the car following
me for a little too long. I tell myself it's
not her, that it can't be. But this text that
she sent me right before I blocked her, that I
can't get out of my head always comes back to
the top. You can't just unmatch what's meant to be.
(08:22):
This happened about two years ago. I was twenty seven,
living in a small apartment in Austin, and I had
just gotten out of a long term relationship. My friends
convinced me to try Bumble, the less creepy dating app
where women message first. That made me feel safer, like
(08:43):
I had control over whoever I talked to. His name
was Evan, late twenties, dark hair, clean cut in that
tech guy way. His profile said that he worked in cybersecurity,
he liked camping and was looking for someone real. The
pictures were normal, no shirtless selfies, no weird filters, just
(09:06):
him hiking, holding the dog, smiling with friends. We matched
on Thursday. I messaged him first, because that's how Bumble works.
He was polite, and funny. Maybe a little awkward, but
I kind of liked that. We talked for about a
week before he asked me if I wanted to grab coffee.
(09:28):
We met at this place called Merrit Coffee on South Lamar.
I remember he was already sitting at a table when
I got there, facing the door, like he wanted to
make sure he saw me first. He stood up right away,
offered it buy me a drink, and smiled a little
too wide. But I might have been over analyzing. At first,
(09:51):
the date was fine. He asked me about my job,
my family, where I grew up. But as the conversation
went on, there was this weird shift, like he was
studying me more than listening. Every time I looked up,
he was just staring, not in a flirty way, but
in this blank, intense way, like he was memorizing my face.
(10:15):
Then he started asking strange questions. How do you feel
about people who lie? Have you ever cheated on anyone?
What's your biggest fear? He wasn't smiling when he asked.
It wasn't banter. It felt like an interview, or maybe
an interrogation. When I gave vague answers, he tilted his
(10:37):
head a little like he didn't believe me. I remember
saying something like, you seem like the kind of person
who keeps secrets. I laughed awkwardly and said, don't we all.
After about an hour, I said I had to meet
up with a friend. He didn't offer to walk me out,
which I was fine with. As I stood up, he said,
(11:00):
prettier in person pictures never fully capture people, you know.
I smiled politely and said goodbye. That night, he texted,
had a really great time today. We should do dinner soon.
I didn't respond. Something about him made my skin crawl.
(11:20):
I couldn't even pinpoint it, just to gut feeling. The
next morning, another text. Did I say something wrong? Then
a few hours later, I just want to understand. I
thought we had a connection. That was enough for me.
I unmatched him on bumble, blocked his number, and went
(11:41):
on with my life. For months, nothing I forgot about him.
Then about a year later, I was eating dinner with
my roommate half watching the local news when a photo
on the screen made me stop cold. It was him. Evan.
The anchor said something about a missing woman, his girlfriend
(12:02):
and how he was wanted for questioning. They showed a
picture of the woman smiling in front of a lake,
then a mug shot photo of him from a previous arrest.
The reporter said the police believe he fled the state.
I sat there, frozen, spooned halfway in my mouth. My
roommate turned to me and said, you okay. I couldn't
(12:25):
even speak. Over the next week, it was everywhere Reddit threads,
even TikTok videos about the case. Turns out they found
a woman's body a few miles outside of the city.
She had been missing for weeks before anyone realized it.
A news report said that he had quit his job
(12:46):
abruptly and drained his bank account. Last I heard, they
think he crossed into Mexico and he's still on the loose.
I didn't tell anyone we had gone on a date.
I don't even know why. Maybe because that felt too surreal,
or maybe because I was scared someone would asked me
why I didn't see it. I think about that coffee
(13:07):
date a lot. How He asked me what my biggest
fear was. I said something stupid, like probably being alone,
and I could still remember clear as day. He said
something along the lines of that's not so bad. Alone
means you won't get hurt. Back in twenty fourteen, I'd
(13:33):
gone on a first date with this guy and matched
with on Tender. I lived in DC at the time
and worked on Capitol Hill for our US congressman. I
was twenty eight or twenty nine at the time. He
was nice, handsome, and a self declared Southern gentleman, but
he was extremely pushy leading up to our first day.
(13:53):
My job was even more insanely busy than normal during
that time and requiring frequent all nighters, and in exactly
zero social life to speak of. Looking back now, it
was painfully obvious that I absolutely did not have the
time or space in my life or dating back then.
But after months of my bestie begging me to let
her create a Tinder profile, I basically surrendered. For weeks.
(14:19):
I tried to reschedule set first date due to work
being crazy, but Tinder guy would literally not take no
for an answer. He was also extremely manipulative and clearly
gifted at it, as he basically guilt tripped me broke
me down to finally agree on a first date with him.
Only dinner was mentioned for the date, so I go
(14:39):
on the date while the date went fine on paper
and probably looked as such to any fellow patrons or bystanders.
Tinder Guy, nonetheless kind of gave me the ick for
some reason. At the time, I couldn't lock down why
he was nice, polite, had a great job, was attractive,
(15:00):
but still something about the way he would continue to
stare at me so intently without blinking was so unsettling.
It was like he was playing some intense, weird ass
staring contest where he was the only contestant. There were
a lot of other eggs and red flags during the day,
but the first major one was the fact that I
(15:21):
was casually held hostage, or at least it felt that way.
At the conclusion of our dinner, and after politely thinking
him for the meal, knowing one hundred percent that there
will be no second date, I tried to make my
exit home, telling him that I had a busy early
workday ahead of me, not a lie. Instead, Tender Guy
(15:42):
of course pressures me into going to a bar next
door for a nightcap. Looking back now and thinksotherapy I've
learned a lot about manipulation and how it can be weaponized.
Tender Guy was a master at it, and I had
no chance. After two drinks that I didn't want, I
(16:02):
mentioned that I need to go home with a little
bit more forceless time. Tinder guy acts like he doesn't
hear me, gets up and heads to the bar before
returning with beers for both of us. I'm beginning to
get annoyed and super pissed, so after a few minutes,
I fake an income and call from my boss, essentially
channeling my inner marrow screep, and proceed to attempt to
(16:25):
give him the best acting performance of my life. And
not to pat myself on the back or anything, but
I should obviously get all the oscars, because holy shit,
it worked. The good news Tinder guy totally buys my
oscar worthy acting, finally stops ignoring my polite pleas to
go home and agrees to let me his hostage go. However,
(16:47):
he insists on sharing an uber home, even though we
live in a completely separate neighborhood nowhere near each other,
not to mention the obvious fact that I absolutely did
not want this creeper to potentially any sort of idea
where I lived or come anywhere near where I lived.
Quite frankly, I knew at this point that I did
not want to spend one more minute nor have anything
(17:09):
more to do with this creepy stranger, including being trapped
in a confined space like a car with this person,
So I tried to refuse repeatedly as I was feeling
increasingly more uncomfortable and again obviously not wanting him to
see where I live, but he literally wanted to take
no for an answer, So in a major what the
fuck are you doing moment, especially looking back now ten
(17:31):
years later, I silently stomached my anxiety concerns protests, and
we proceed to an uber to my neighborhood, though I
did get out of a different address a few blocks
away from my place so he wouldn't know my exact dress.
As I attempt to disembark from the car as quick
as a flash, the tender guy falls behind me, grass
(17:53):
my shoulder and spins me around, before then aggressively kissing
me like I'm talking straight up up man, handling my
face with his tongue, apologizing for the not safer work description,
especially if it results in bringing up any sort of trauma,
but if I had to experience it, you do too,
(18:13):
As Tinder guy finally lets go over my face, I'm
trying my best to swallow back the vomit, and after
ten minutes of placating him, I finally get him to
accept that this night my first date is finally over,
that I'm going to sleep, and he reluctantly agrees to leave.
As soon as our uber leaves with Tinder Guy and
is out of sight, I run to my actual home,
(18:34):
lock and dead bolt the door. As soon as I
get inside, I literally sink to the floor and disbelieve.
In the end, once I calm down and felt secure again,
I was mostly just relieved to be home, safe and sound,
and that I survived a date with a deeply unsettling, creepy,
and disconcerting man. I'd even joke to my roommates at
(18:55):
the time, can't wait to never talk to that dude again.
Ten years ago me was a naive fool. Instead. Immediately
following our date, Tinder Guy proceeded to send me a
barrage of text that entire rest of the night, fawning
all over me and mostly asking over and over again,
can we face time. Keep in mind this was literally
(19:18):
one hour after I had gotten home from our date.
I lied and said I was already in bed basically asleep.
Since I had absolutely zero intentions of ever speaking to
this person again, I naively thought that was the end
of it. Tinder Guy continued to text me NonStop over
the next few days, and I would either ignore him
(19:39):
or send him short responses. While there was a cop out,
I planned on messaging him the truth, letting him down
gently at the end of the week when I wasn't
swimming and work craziness. As I mentioned earlier, I worked
on Capitol Hill for a US congressman at the time.
As such, my office was subject to strict security screenings
(20:01):
metal detectors X ray scanners at the building entrance, which
also extended to incoming mail, packages and deliveries. So a
day after this first date debacle, I get a call
on my office line from the offsite Capitol Hill Package
Center stating that they're currently processing screening a package for
me and that it should be delivered to my office
(20:22):
in two days. I think, hmm, that's odd. I'm not
expecting anything, so who would mail me something? But I
shrug it off as it's not the first time I
received unsolicited packages due to the nature of my job,
and I basically forgot about it. Until Friday, our office
receptionist came to my cubicle with an over the top
(20:45):
bouquet of roses and a card. I immediately knew who
was responsible. However, the real reason I felt deeply unsettled
was the sheer fact that I never told tinder guy
who I worked for, hell even which state my boss
belonged to. I'd given him literally zero clues as to
whom the member I worked for was. And while my
(21:08):
social media settings were pretty private anyway, I didn't include
the name of the member office in which I worked
in in any of my online profiles, including LinkedIn. I
also didn't give this tender guy my last name, so
I have no idea how he would have found it out.
To begin with, there are five hundred and thirty five
total congressional offices on Capitol Hill. There's approximately fifteen thousand
(21:32):
congressional staffers who worked on the Hill, and there's no
way of telling how many staffers who share my first
name you'd have to go through and searching for my
last name and the office address. To this day, I
have no idea how tender guy found out this identifying
info when I only provided him with my first name
in general employment info. Needless to say, if I wasn't
(21:54):
creeped out enough by this guy before or at that
point now, it was one thousand percent full fled freaked out,
especially reading the note that accompanied the flowers. He talked
about how great of a kisser I was, vomit, what
he wanted to do with me by all raising how
he hoped I could meet his family. Add delusional to
(22:17):
the list of descriptions for this guy and how he
couldn't wait to see me again in your dreams, Bud,
I look forward to seeing you never. One good thing
that came out of this experience is finally and obviously,
gave me the boss to end it with the tender
guy via text. Dating is the fucking worst, and until
this experience, if I was talking to someone but I
(22:39):
also knew at the same time that I wasn't interested,
I was still engaged in respond to their messages, basically
leading them on, all because I didn't want to hurt
their feelings and feel guilty. I now realized how unfair
that was the other person and has felt that I'll
never cop out when it comes to the uncomfortable issues
that the recipient needs and deserves to hear. It also
(23:01):
helped me install a little bit more fuck politeness mantra,
unfortunately in a serious long term relationship now, but while
dating or even in my regular life, if I ever
feel uncomfortable and then easy like tender guy who made
me feel I now fight the urge to be agreeable
and polite and either directly cut ties or at least
(23:22):
explain why I'm blocking before cutting off the communication.
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