September 23, 2024 • 39 mins
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@breannaaponte
@thesoftlifeceo
Website:
www.thesoftlifeceo.com
Community:
www.thesoftlifeceo.com/society
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www.thesoftlifeceo.com/free-training-optin
YouTube:
@thesoftlifeceo
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www.relationshiprestored.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Being able to say, hey, I did a really tough
workout also allows you to say, hey, I can do
anything now. I can run my business how I want
to run it. Now I know I can do that
for any task. Also physically supporting us in not just
what we do as entrepreneurs, but we live our lives
outside of our businesses too.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hey, I'm Brianna Aponte, your host of the Self Life
CEO podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
I dropped out of college at the age of.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Nineteen to start my first business. I worked seven days
a week, wore way too many hats, and was the
true definition of a hustler. Years later, I'm finally living
the dream that I worked so hard to make my reality.
I've transitioned from a hustler to a self life CEO,
working only two days a week to maintain and run
a high earning business that gives me the freedom.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
To live a life I love.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Now.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
It's my mission to help as many entrepreneurs as I
can elevate their brand, increase their income, and reclaim their time.
Join me and guest experts as we share our transparent journeys,
work smart and not hard strategies, and the behind the
scenes of running a successful brand and business.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
You're tuned in to the self life CEO.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
What's up, everybody. I have my girl, Monica here, who
is a mental health advocate, wellness coach, and trainer who
helps women find their strength from the inside out. Okay,
I'm so excited, Monica. Welcome and thank you for being here.
Speaker 5 (01:13):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
I want to first start with you sharing all of
the details about what you do, your brand, your business.
So share with us all things, Monica.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
So, I am a wellness coach above all things, and
I've been in wellness for about twelve years now. I
started as a personal trainer and in my own personal
wellness journey, everything that I've come to work on or
work towards has been something that challenged me or I
felt like it was a setback for me in some way,
(01:44):
shape or form, whether it was injury or you know,
having my own battle with mental health PMDD, having a
you know, a cute olimia like an eating disorder that
as a trainer made me feel like I was, you know,
living a double life basically. And so now what I
do is try to create a safe space for women,
(02:06):
especially but for people to feel like they can feel seen, heard,
and like they have the tools and resources that they
need in order to better themselves in whatever way, shape
or form. So that could be and mostly is in
the physical, but it's so much about the mental and
the emotional. The way that I decide to do things,
whether it's nutrition or training or cycle sinking, everything is
(02:28):
really about creating sustainable changes that we can really feel
the benefit of in more than one way in our lives.
So I have a company called HLS Collective my best
friend started in twenty twenty and it is basically the
culmination of our wellness lives that we've had in our
twenty plus years of experience, her from more of a
(02:51):
corporate side and me from more of an athlete turn
coach side, and we basically fuse the two to offer
virtual wellness solutions as well as in person and opportunities
to connect with like hearted people around us. So that's
what I do full time. I coach at a nearby
studio and union market called work DC. I also coach boxing,
(03:11):
and I am a sponsored athlete with under Armoured Women.
And I create content online up and creating content for
about seven eight years now, So it's a lot of things.
I'm the adhd entrepreneur through and through. So you know,
I truly feel like you can do all the things
that you are interested in as long as you're strategic
(03:32):
about it and really just trying to release shame and
guilt around what we think we should be doing and
allow ourselves to flow through who we naturally.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Are being in the role that you're in where you
know women are coming to you for the advice of like,
what can I do to feel better? To look better?
What is like the number one struggle that you see
that has been consistent with your clients.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Ooh, I would say it is not making that full
commitment just yet. There's always something kind of pulling them
in one direction or the other. And I think much
of it stems from social media and consumption, and oftentimes
it's also our environment and there's that little voice in
(04:17):
the back of our heads that kind of self sabotages
in many ways, and because we have that anxiety or
that fear around what could go wrong or we have
a negative experience that we are our bodies are still
kind of storing in different ways. It takes multiple tries.
It take multiple tries to start, and it takes multiple
(04:39):
tries to continue and that's you know, someone compared wellness
to addiction, and I thought that it was really interesting
to hear that there isn't a cure, but there is
a treatment and you have to do it every day,
like you have to keep trying every single day. And
(04:59):
I think much men, any of us, as you know,
just general consumers, are kind of convinced that we are
supposed to have a solution, whereas it's actually just showing
up every day and doing it because the journey is
actually the destination.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
What are a few things that you tell your clients
to maybe do or establish within their routine that ultimately
can set them up for success with being consistent but
without feeling failure or really beating themselves up if they're
not committed to an overall plan.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Yeah, I think it's it's literally goes back to that
consumption and action. It's repetition. So what action can we
take that's simple enough for us to approach and to
repeat and not just repeat Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, but three
times on Monday, three times on Tuesday, three times on Wednesday,
and the first one is celebrating taking the action. So
(05:52):
it can be as simple as I opened my fridge
and I looked in it instead of getting on door dash.
I might have gotten on door still, but I tried
to look at what my options were otherwise, because I'm
exercising that self loyalty and exercising trying to take the
path of more resistance knowing that it's going to create
(06:14):
a further path of ease for me later on. So
we have to reprogram our brains because it's so easy
to call upon the pain and discomfort and inconvenience that's
stored within us. But if we can continue to celebrate
that we actually did something good, just like when we
see it affirmed in the community and in the chat,
(06:35):
like it's it's so powerful over time. But you know,
all the women in here can attest to the fact
that we do those things, and it feels kind of
awkward at first. It's like I'm I'm writing and repeating
out positive things. I don't feel it yet, but it's
going to happen. And just telling ourselves it's going to happen.
It's going to happen is where we can make the
greatest strides. But that's number one. Celebrate what you're doing.
(06:59):
Make sure something that's approachable and share it with someone else.
So we do celebrate internally, and that's important, but say
it out loud to somebody because there's even more, or
write it down on paper at the very least.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Yeah no, And that's why you know, I do the
challenges because despite the idea of like, oh, be great
for thirty days and then go back to your normal life.
I like that in that thirty day timeframe, you're getting support,
you're getting accountability, and it makes it a little easier
when you're doing it with someone, especially people that you
care about and that you also want to inspire and
hold accountable too. So that's what like the challenges do
(07:35):
for me. But one thing I learned about myself, and
I think this is a big, a big step in
entreprenewership for someone who wants to eat better, live better,
be more active and do the things that are really
fueling our minds is learning what you're just not good
at and what things make you not make the healthy choices.
So I realize that when I have to actively take
(07:59):
out grocery is wash them and cut them and do
all the like prep stuff just to cook, I don't
feel like cooking. And then when I have to think
of all the dirty dishes. I also don't feel like cooking.
So what I had to do is I realized that
about myself, and I said, Okay, how do we get
rid of the problem and spend one day at the
beginning of the month, Because you know, we all are
(08:19):
at the beginning of the week. We're always the most
motivated on Monday, and then it's like if you do
bad on Monday, then Tuesday and Wednesday everything just feels
like downhill because you're like, I already messed up the week.
So like Monday, I feel my best self. So that's
going to be the day that I get my groceries.
I chop them up, I clean them, I wash them,
and I store them in containers so that when it's
time to cook, I don't have to pull out the
(08:41):
cut and board and the knives and make a mess.
I can just throw it in the throw it in
the pan and be out of there. Same thing with
like my rice. Rice is the carb that I use
for my dinner, so I free cook that so that
all I have to do is like put pop it
in the microwave, and it just makes it easier. So
keeping bad things out of your home home and creating
easier ways to make those easy decisions smart because imagine
(09:04):
how terrible you would feel if you open up your
frigerator and you saw all this beautifully prepped, healthy food,
yet you decide to do door dash instead, Like that
just doesn't even make sense. So I love that you
talked about like the small step, how it leads to
like something better. Atomic Habits was literally one of the
books that changed the game for me because it broke
that down in such a simple way that you can
(09:26):
really look at your life and take something as simple
as brushing your teeth and connect it to another good
habit that then creates this you know, ripple effect. So
I probably love that. Now do you see with your
clients that when you give them the solutions right when
you share like, if this is the problem, this is
what you need to do, and you need to do
it consecutively and consistently, and then you'll start to see
(09:49):
rewards When your clients are given the plan, they're being
told what to do, but they're just for whatever reason,
not showing up, getting down on themselves or being in
a space, or maybe they feel like whatever they're trying
to do or achieve is too hard. How do you
combat that? How do you set them up for success
from a mental standpoint to feel that they're even capable
(10:10):
of doing whatever it is that they're setting out to do.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
That's a good question.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
So it and you guys can also you know, it's
the entrepreneurial life. There's been times where I've had to
make sure that my client redirects their focus into things
like therapy or actually just doing joyful activities. So we're
put if we're putting too much into the pressure, the shame,
(10:35):
the guilt, the anxiety around exercise or meal prepping or
things like that, I just asked them to go take
a walk, or go do a zumba class, or like
shake their button in front of the mirror for a
hot second, because we have to reprogram again the feeling
of number one accomplishment but also self celebration. Some client,
many clients, i should say, especially that are in corporate America,
(10:59):
are constantly in self deprivation. They're constantly feeling like they're
not doing enough, and so if they can't feel the
immediate success of even the smallest thing, then it has
to be redirected into something else that makes sense. And
that's I think truly what separates Healthy Lifestyle Collective from
a lot of other wellness or fitness programs and companies
(11:24):
is that we are willing to say, hey, really, I
think you need to see a financial planner, or really
I think you need to talk to a therapist, and
we do what we can to help them check the
boxes where it's appropriate, but we're never afraid to say, like, hey,
the reason that this is deeply not sticking for you
yet is because you are You're very consumed in something else,
(11:44):
so let's redirect it. So that's one way I've had
to definitely let go of clients before because of lack
of alignment, and I've always made sure that there I
give them some other resources or something to try and consider.
Usually as a nonpreneur, we can tell if someone is
not our ideal clients or ideal avatar.
Speaker 5 (12:06):
But if it gets a little bit further into.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Situation where you know they were very enthusiastic and then
they were a totally different person, then I do my
due diligence to let them know what I saw changed yeah,
and what I feel could be a good solution for them.
And then the third thing is when someone's having a
tough time and all the answers are there, we got
to go into the deep why. And all of my
(12:30):
clients know we have a ninety day minimum sort. We
have a four month minimum commitment in our programs. So
if you want weekly coaching, by weakly coaching, any of that,
or training, it's minimum four months. Because our first two
to three weeks we call it the research and development
of your lifestyle. It's like we're going to assess what
your current habits are, what your struggles are, and we're
(12:51):
going to use this first three weeks to get into
a routine, and then after that time frame we're really
rocking and rolling and seeing changes. But if someone thinks
that they're going to start and it's going to be
cold Turkey, I'm not eating sweets anymore and I'm going
to wake up at five in the morning and do
time and then at six pm I'm going to go
to run club, That's never the case. And so I'm like,
(13:13):
it's going to take multiple weeks, and so like just
preparing them from jump is probably the third way that
we handle it.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
I want you to talk more about the cold Turkey
thing and why it's so important to create that kind
of realistic plan and what it does for our mental
to set realistic standards for our goals. And why it's
so important because this is both for like fitness and wellness,
but also in entrepreneurship with our business. So go deeper
because exactly what you're saying, I'm like, yes, go deeper
(13:42):
into why why it's so important.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
It's science. Honestly, if we went straight up from science,
our cells, every single cell that makes up our body
is used to a certain amount of water, It's used
to a certain amount of nutrients, and so if you're
constantly eating sugar, your brain is used to its response
to sugar. Your body is used to its response to sugar,
aka spiking in energy spikes and then drops an energy.
Speaker 5 (14:08):
It drops an energy.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
So all the things that we are used to doing,
if we try to cold Turkey stop them. Things like
headaches happen, extreme exhaustion, lack of focus, and it seeps
into the rest of our lifestyle and gets in the
way of us feeling successful and even some of the
other ways that we were successful or that we were
doing well in So cold Turkey is it's a body
(14:30):
shut down. And no matter what, even if you were
able to do something like give up, you know, bread
for X amount of days. If you just gave it
up for the wrong reason because you thought you were
going to pressure yourself to do it, Eventually you're gonna
come into a situation where you're like, Okay, I could
have a bite of that, and your body's immediately gonna go, oh,
(14:51):
we missed this, and then you're back into that, you know,
if you're just falling off of the wagon a little bit.
So cold turkey is from a physical stacke sandpoint, the
hardest thing for your body to actually process, and it
makes all of the other bodily functions much harder. And
then from a mental standpoint, it feels so it is
(15:13):
so restrictive that if you're going to be that restrictive
on yourself about that one thing, then what else are
you going to be restricted to yourself for? So like,
mentally you start to kind of get in the habit
of feeling like you can't have things that you shouldn't
have things, and everything from like hang out with your
girlfriends to going on a vacation to whatever feels like
(15:34):
you have to qualify for it.
Speaker 5 (15:36):
And that's not the life that we deserve to live,
especially as hardworking women.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
Yeah, it's so good because you know when I when
I think about goal setting and the idea behind confidence, right,
confidence comes from setting out to do something and actually
doing it and those endorphins going through your body and
you feeling that feel good feeling. Imagine if every goal
(16:02):
was so outrageous that I'm not going to do any
of this? Am I going to do any of that?
The moment that you do that thing, now your confidence
has dropped. And the more that that happens, you're creating
this habit of I can't do it, I can't do
this thing. And in business and in entrepreneurship, having outrageous
like financial goals or different benchmarks, it's like the higher
(16:22):
you set the goal, each time that you don't reach
the goal, your inner self is telling you that you're
not capable, and so it will take many, many tries,
and then you'll end up realizing like, okay, wait, let's
be realistic about this. Let's set the goals. And then
each time that we do it, we're getting better, more confident,
and those endorphins are kicking in and now we feel
(16:42):
good about what we're doing. But yeah, that's something that
you know. I used to I was a victim of that.
I would always set just crazy goals girl, like I'm
gonna go a whole year without drinking hmm, And it's
like why what, Like what is even the thing? Why?
What is the role? Reason? Right? But then also it's
like why give yourself parameters to actually have a year
(17:03):
of way less drinking? But you do it in a
way where maybe instead of cutting it out all together,
you go from drinking every weekend to drinking two weekends
and then once you feel good about that, bring it
down to one weekend. Then it's only special occasions, you know,
things like that. And then you start to realize like, okay,
like we we can set our mind on something and
we can achieve it, but it has to be for
some reason, and it has to be donn a share
(17:25):
it where we're working with ourselves, not against ourselves.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
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Speaker 2 (17:33):
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a membership based community where I provide weekly events such
as group coaching calls, brand and social media audits, masterclasses,
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person events and discounts on soft life CEO services. And
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(17:55):
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Speaker 4 (17:58):
From an entrepreneur standpoint, theare the most common benefits that
an entrepreneur can receive if they were to implement and
include mourning, exercise, some form of physical activity.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Well, it's health and longevity. So we're finding more and
more that the onset for young girls of their period
is earlier, and that the onset of menopause is becoming
much earlier too.
Speaker 5 (18:26):
And this is all stress induced.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
So if we can actually level out, not necessarily eliminate,
but level out our stress and our court isol, which
is our stress hormone, then we can see so much
benefit to our focus throughout the day, our enthusiasm for
the things that we're doing, because we can show up
and get some stuff done. But I don't know if
(18:49):
anyone else here has ever gone like a month and
picked their head up and been like, I enjoy none
of that.
Speaker 5 (18:56):
We got things done, but that was not really that
wasn't it. And so being able to actually have enthusiasm
for the things that we're.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Doing, because our hormones are balance, our energy is balanced.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
There's also just.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Posturely how we show up, how we move and walk
into a room tall and structurally sound.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
That comes from exercise.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Of course, our cardiovascular health and our stamina just in
general for whatever we need to do, and then our
muscular strength. So women need resistance training. Everyone needs resistance training,
not just from posture. But for us to be able
to actually absorb more calcium again for hormonal balance, for
us to keep our bones actually more nutrient dense, we
(19:39):
have to do resistance training. And then it also helps
level out our estrogen. So estrogen is very much in
charge of our mood pretty consistently and how we metabolize fats.
So if we're looking to maintain or actually achieve a
specific body type, then we actually have to be able
to level out our estrogen and make sure that we're
(20:00):
in good levels throughout the month, not just around our periods.
Speaker 5 (20:04):
So that's a few reasons.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
But being able to say, hey, I did a really
tough workout also allows you to say, hey, I can
do anything. At this point, I had the perseverance to
push through. I had the self loyalty, I had the
autonomy to make that decision for myself. Now I can
run my business how I want to run it. I
had the self efficacy to make it happen. Now I
(20:27):
know I can do that for any tasks and help
my team do that.
Speaker 5 (20:31):
So it's just so.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Empowering, but it's also physically supporting us in not just
what we do as entrepreneurs, but how we live our
lives outside of our businesses too. We want to be
our best selves so that we can bring our bestselves
into what we contribute to the world, but also to
our families, to our children, our significant other, whatever it
(20:51):
is that we're aiming to have, or if you're a
single girl like me, just partying with the plants in
your apartment, like your best self.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
Yeah, yeah, you know. I would say that as an entrepreneur,
like when I first started so like ten years ago,
when I was in my full on hustle mode, when
I say that physical fitness of any sort had no
priority in my life and I was running myself ragged.
(21:21):
I was bouncing from one thing to the next thing,
constantly trying to people please, and not really even knowing
who I was because what I realized was I never
even spent time with myself. So one of my favorite
things now about having a very solid morning routine and
making sure that every day I take time to be active.
It is essentially meantime. And as busy entrepreneurs, you're constantly
(21:44):
answering and doing and solving and fixing for everybody else.
But it's like, when do you just, you know, give
give yourself grace and when do you actually show up
in a way that allows you to have the best
day possible. And so I'm still victim of this. There's
some days where I'll wake up and I know my
morning routine and I know that you know, it should
(22:04):
start with praise and worship, and then I meditate and
I have my little Bible scripture journal where it has
a beautiful message for me to like meditate on, and
then I answer these questions. Then I worked out. Then
I like clean if anything needs to be clean, prep
my food, do all the things, and I know that
after I do that, I feel my best self. But
there's still typically one day out of every week where
(22:27):
I will do something where a part of that isn't done,
and it's because I'm saying like, oh, I actually feel good,
and you know I did this yesterday, so I'm going
to go ahead and do that. But at the end
of the day, what it creates is inconsistency, and it
makes me not in the day like not in the moment,
I don't feel bad, but later in the day, when
I'm checking off all my to dos and looking at
(22:48):
what I've done for everyone else, it's like I had
a moment this morning where the five minutes I decided
not to do X, Y and Z for myself, I
was saying no to me and saying yes to everyone else.
But your whole day is set up to say yes
everyone else. So if you're not starting yourself your day
off for yourself, it can be very difficult to make
sure you're giving yourself that time. And as you mentioned,
(23:10):
like when you get through a hard workout, when you
put your body through something strenuous and you got through
it and you're all sweaty and nasty you have to shower,
it's like you feel good, You feel like you put
in the work, and then it starts your day off
with a new level of confidence. So that now all
the things that you have to do from a work perspective,
You're like, oh, this is nothing compared to what I
did earlier. Right, So I love that you, you know,
(23:33):
really made that very clear because I think a lot
of our listeners y'all know that you could probably do
more and that you could probably be more active. And
you know, we also have to look at our family, right,
like our family genetics and the habits and behaviors that
were passed down to us not by choice, and really analyze,
(23:53):
like what do I view as a healthy life? Because
I think what our family, our parents, you know, a
generation before us, what they view as a healthy life
is you know, they eat at drive throughs, can't tell
you how the times I had McDonald's for dinner. You know,
it's like, what is our version of healthy and what
do we want to pass down and teach to our children.
(24:15):
So my next question for you is when we talk
about family, because some of our entrepreneurs are juggling relationships
and they have children on top of their their business
and then on top of wanting to feel and look good.
Is there any like rule of thumb that your company
teaches in terms of finding balance, Because you mentioned balance earlier,
(24:35):
is there any rule of thumb in regards to finding
that balance.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yeah, it's that you you got to put your oxygen
mask on first before anybody else is besides you, including
your children.
Speaker 5 (24:46):
And it's such a hard concept.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
And Tash and I talk about this too, because we
don't have children, we don't have young children. Tash has
a step daughter whom is just disclosed in family, but
it's you know, she's grown.
Speaker 5 (24:59):
She's grown.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
So it's like being able to get the point across
to our clients can be difficult sometimes, but that comes
from a relationship that we've built with them where they
know and trust that we truly know how to get
them where they want to be, and just seeing them
for the human beings that they are, Like the moms
in our collective are so healthy and we're so proud
(25:24):
of that because we're shifting the narrative not only what
society is trying to push on us, but who we
think we are and believe we are internally too, Like
what is your internal narrative around your kid's needs versus
your own needs? And how can we shift that? And again,
it comes from the small habits and the small things.
(25:44):
So I actually trained one of my clients today she
brought her son, who's like five or five adorable. He
was the cutest thing, and he was like obsessed with
seeing his mom be strong and watching her do the reps.
And I was like, this means more that you decided
to just bring him because of the fact that now
(26:05):
he can see and appreciate how hard you work not
only for him as his mom, but for your own
personal health. And now that's building a certain level of appreciation, respect,
and you know, just general interest in physical movement for
him as a kid that isn't just sport. Like we
were lifting weights, so he was doing exercises beside her,
(26:25):
and he would get tired and walk.
Speaker 5 (26:26):
Away, and I'm like, you're tired, bud, Like Mom's still going.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
And it was really dope to be able to recognize
that that moment. So we do that virtually too, Like
a lot of times our new moms will have like
their babies right next to them, Like you can still
make it happen. It's just about taking a deep breath
and challenging the all or nothing mindset. Just because you
can't go to pilates today in the studio in the
(26:51):
city doesn't mean you can't do something. And it doesn't
mean that the something you decide to do at home
isn't still a success and isn't still going to put
you to where you want to be. Your life looks
the way that your life looks, and once we embrace
that and really become a part of it and collaborate
with the best outcome for it, then we can be
(27:11):
president and joy and we don't have to be so
stuck in what we think it should be.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
Yeah, there's two things you mentioned that I want to
follow up on and just get your your thoughts. So
earlier you mentioned therapy and then just now you mentioned
the mindset. So talk a little bit about the importance
of therapy, especially for women who maybe are in a
space where they struggle to be consistent, where they struggle
(27:37):
to find a balance, and like, maybe what myths you've
heard about therapy that would kind of open up our
listeners to not receiving therapy as something is wrong, but
going and getting therapy to just really really dive deeper
into self development.
Speaker 5 (27:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
I think a huge piece of it, especially in black
and brown communities, is self worth and challenging that narrative.
I remember when I started talking about my therapy journey,
and anyone who's in therapy can probably relate. Your mind
is blown when it starts going, when you start getting
somewhere in therapy, your mind's so blown, that's the only
thing you can talk about.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Like literally, I was like, what like and then you
become just the.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
You're in like this alternate universe where you're like, I'm
looking back at twelve year old me, I'm looking back
at six year old me, and then you've solved, you know, all,
what all your problems were back then.
Speaker 5 (28:38):
So you can't stop sharing about it.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
So I tell people like, it's I look at it
as more of what kind of fun thing can we
fun things can we discover about ourselves in the past
that have contributed to us being so wonderful now And
how consistently be able to talk and have an advocate
in a listening ear that's unbiased to just let us
(29:01):
be There is literally no judgment in therapy, and it
takes for someone that you trust, someone that looks like you,
someone that is in a place that you respect and
would hopefully want to be somewhere, you know, similar to
to kind of be the example of success in therapy
(29:22):
and caring for your own mental health, and there's a
lot of different types of therapy. One that I've grown
to be really really in love with is breath work
and somatic healing, which is very much about our actual
nervous system and different physical practices that we can do
to help release trauma and release stress in the body,
and so exploring different types. It's like, you know, movement,
(29:45):
I feel is the gateway to therapy.
Speaker 5 (29:48):
That is our gateways.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Like if I can really start taking mental health walks,
then eventually I can.
Speaker 5 (29:52):
Talk about it.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
And if I can talk about it, then eventually I
can talk about it with a person that is des
he needed to help me take action to change it.
So it's okay to be in this we call it
the pre contemplation phase. But eventually you got to ask yourself,
how am I actively taking part in the betterment of
me in the ways that I've been avoiding for X
(30:14):
amount of years or the ways that I just didn't
know were options for me to address my stress or
trauma or confusion and who I am. So that's when
I started talking about it. Though I definitely had a
moment where I'm like, oh, my followers on Instagram, like
some of them are going to think that I'm crazy,
or some of them are going to think that I
(30:35):
am a cry baby and I'm a cancer and I
am So it's like whatever. But the more that we
start to lean into the fact that there are more
people that are going to benefit from you sharing and
being honest than there are that are going to judge
you and dislike it, they don't align anyways. But also
the more that we can release that and kind of
(30:56):
challenge that narrative, the happier we're going to be.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Get My free training from Hustler to Soft Life Ceo
which includes my Untold Entrepreneurial Journey, the Soft Life CEO Roadmap,
am I winning recipe for elevating your brand, increasing your income,
and reclaiming your time. Head over to the Soft Life
ceo dot com backslash free training.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Ideal client is the someone who just wants to actually
understand themselves. They want to understand the processes that their
body is going through and what it would take to
get there, and cares about the why because we love
to nerd out about that stuff. What you're talking about
with therapy is very much about validation and when we
(31:38):
seek that validation or like try to justify why and
how that is. That's what creates enthusiasm in our journey
and in the process. And I always love to talk
about the difference between men and women. So women are
super duper process oriented, whereas men tend to be goal
and oriented. And that's why a lot of the things
that we consume make it feel as if we should
(31:58):
be just at the destination goal because much of that
stuff is run by the male mindset or a masculine mindset.
So we're very much about balancing the masculine and feminine energy.
And so for someone who's looking for more peace and
balance in their lives by way of taking action, that's
our ideal client. And sometimes it takes a little bit
(32:21):
of time for them to discover that, but they and
they can come to us and say, hey, I want
to lose X amount of pounds, But we'll always get
to the why, and we'll always try to figure out
how we can be present because just focusing and fixating
so much on the outcome, or focusing and fixating on
what we need to do, really robs us of the
joy of it. And we can say this because we've
(32:41):
had clients for years and years that will hit a goal,
maintain that weight and that lifestyle for a very long time,
and then life changes. They might move across the country.
We are across the world. We have clients in Germany,
we have clients everywhere, and so it's just getting with
them on the ebbs and flows of life. You know,
we'll have clients for ten plus years. Client I trained today,
she was my client at Gold's gym in twenty fourteen
(33:04):
and we got back together via LinkedIn to work together.
And she's two kids now, she's an ex marine, she's
an attorney, like a badass woman, and it's so cool
to see her as a mother now, where she's like
this is still important to me. She didn't come to
me overweight or anything, but she was just like I
just feel like I loved where I was connected with
(33:25):
my body when I work with you, and I want
to come back to that. And so we want the
people who want that longevity, they want sustainable wellness. They
want the wellness to be they want to be so
empowered that they can share it with the people that
are important to them so that their community and their
families are also feeling good and physically healthy. So it's
(33:47):
a deep thing I and I know, like lack of
alignment is something that we talk about in this community too.
I had a tough time trying for a while to
be mainstream fitness. It was like one of those things
where preaching about being smaller, especially as a woman who
has urged her food because she thought she needed to
(34:10):
be smaller and made it over that humping gotten to
the other side of it. It literally did not sit
well with my soul. But the more that I did that,
the less clients I had and the less I felt
successful because it just didn't align. So we also tell
our clients like, finding alignment is key, and so those
who are on a journey to find that alignment and
make their lifestyle fit them, those are our ideal clients.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
I love that. And in an ideal world, everyone would
just sign up right now and work with you. But
let's say that they're not ready. What is one key
piece of advice that you would give those listeners?
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Get on our emails because we send out all the isms,
but you know, it's the little things.
Speaker 5 (34:51):
Is the intention?
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Right, So if you are not in a journaling practice,
if you are not in an affirmation practice, start there.
If you don't have moment of quiet where you can
really breathe and recognize what your body's feeling it, where
it may hurt, where it may be uncomfortable, what you desire.
Then take that five minutes to start doing that. There's
(35:14):
plenty of guided meditations out there. I really like the
headspace app. Open is also a really good app But
just making something aligned to your schedule where you take
the time to get a little bit more a little
to dive a little bit deeper into what it is
that you want and what you feel might be the challenge.
But we do a free consultation and it's no there's
(35:36):
no strings attached. You will walk away with a plan
no matter what. But just even talking through goals. A
lot of times I'll have clients on me and say
they want to lose twenty pounds, but then it surfaces
that they have hypothyroidism, and I'm like, oh, well, a
lot of the discomfort you feel comes from the hypothyroidism,
and all you have to do is eat more carrots.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
You know.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
It's like just being able to have someone that you
can trust give you a simple plan to follow. It's
a great way to start and a lot of times
that'll happen with potential clients, and they'll come back six
months later, either having implemented the practice and feeling good
or saying like, hey, I'm ready now and we open
our doors and welcome you.
Speaker 4 (36:11):
No matter what, I love this well, I'm sold. I
am going to be signing up for my free consultation
because I just want to. I want to see this
in action, and it sounds amazing. And I was familiar
with you, right, but I didn't know in detail exactly
what you did. So this was very you know, eye
opening for me, and I mean, I appreciate it all.
So share with us you have anything exciting new happening
(36:35):
as we are ending out this year.
Speaker 5 (36:37):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
And then before even that, I want to make sure
that I say this. When I stumbled upon your thirty
day trial, the timing was so beautiful. And what I
will say about the the challenge that you run and
everything is that you are the example of what I'm
talking about. So also, when y'all anyone in here, anyone
(37:00):
listening is thinking about how to get started, stay right
where you are, Like, right here is where you are
going to continue in your environment, is where you're going
to continue to be around people that really encourage you
and change your frequency and then put you a little
bit higher each and every day.
Speaker 5 (37:14):
So yeah, you're in the right place. What I was
gonna say, but fun things.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
So back in twenty twenty one, I created a program
called Hustle and Flow. Like I said, I've dealt with
PMDD and I know so many women who have you know, endometriosis, PCOS,
struggle with PMS symptoms. And we've basically taken our wellness
company and my my ah Hustle and Flow program and
we fuse them together to do a series. Our next
(37:41):
event is going to be in person at work DC
and UNI Market on the eighteenth. It's a Sunday. We
do thirty minutes of strength training and we're gonna do
thirty minutes of dance. Kastasha is a professional with a
professional ballerina, so we're gonna do kind of like a
Horton type of flow and then a sound bath after
and then we will do a workshop on nutrition and
what food you can eat throughout each phase of your
(38:02):
cycle to balance your hormones and get your best performance.
Speaker 5 (38:06):
So that's coming up on the eighteenth and fun.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Yeah, we love, love love being able to do things
in person. But we will also be doing a small
group that meets and gets group coaching every week, so
that if you're kind of in a place where you
like I can't necessarily do one on one coaching yet
or whatever, we can meet and still do the accountability
call together, support one another in the week to week
and learn more and more about our bodies and our
(38:32):
inframim rhythm, which is our menstrual cycle throughout the entire month.
Speaker 4 (38:37):
Okay, so Monica, let everyone know how they can stay
in touch with you and everything that you have going on.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
Yeah, you can find me at train with mon on
Instagram and find us at HLS Collective on Instagram.
Speaker 5 (38:50):
We are again running that event.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
If you would like to do a free consultation, it's
hlsfit dot com slash contact and then you can see
all of our practitioners on the left side there and yeah, it.
Speaker 5 (39:05):
Would be great.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Just connect with me and if you have any questions,
just DM me.
Speaker 5 (39:11):
I'm here.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
This is such a good episode, girl. I thank you
so much for your time and for sharing all of
these outcomes with the list.
Speaker 3 (39:18):
Of course, thanks for tuning in to soft Life.
Speaker 5 (39:21):
CEO.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
I hope that today's episode gets you a little bit
closer to achieving your definition of a soft life. If
you're ready to start the journey from hustler to soft
life CEO, go to the Soft Life ceo dot com
backslash Society for a thirty day free.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Trial in my coaching community.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
If you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend,
leave a review, and don't forget to subscribe.
Being able to say, hey, I did a really tough
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for any task. Also physically supporting us in not just
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Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hey, I'm Brianna Aponte, your host of the Self Life
CEO podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
I dropped out of college at the age of.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Nineteen to start my first business. I worked seven days
a week, wore way too many hats, and was the
true definition of a hustler. Years later, I'm finally living
the dream that I worked so hard to make my reality.
I've transitioned from a hustler to a self life CEO,
working only two days a week to maintain and run
a high earning business that gives me the freedom.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
To live a life I love.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Now.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
It's my mission to help as many entrepreneurs as I
can elevate their brand, increase their income, and reclaim their time.
Join me and guest experts as we share our transparent journeys,
work smart and not hard strategies, and the behind the
scenes of running a successful brand and business.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
You're tuned in to the self life CEO.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
What's up, everybody. I have my girl, Monica here, who
is a mental health advocate, wellness coach, and trainer who
helps women find their strength from the inside out. Okay,
I'm so excited, Monica. Welcome and thank you for being here.
Speaker 5 (01:13):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
I want to first start with you sharing all of
the details about what you do, your brand, your business.
So share with us all things, Monica.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
So, I am a wellness coach above all things, and
I've been in wellness for about twelve years now. I
started as a personal trainer and in my own personal
wellness journey, everything that I've come to work on or
work towards has been something that challenged me or I
felt like it was a setback for me in some way,
(01:44):
shape or form, whether it was injury or you know,
having my own battle with mental health PMDD, having a
you know, a cute olimia like an eating disorder that
as a trainer made me feel like I was, you know,
living a double life basically. And so now what I
do is try to create a safe space for women,
(02:06):
especially but for people to feel like they can feel seen, heard,
and like they have the tools and resources that they
need in order to better themselves in whatever way, shape
or form. So that could be and mostly is in
the physical, but it's so much about the mental and
the emotional. The way that I decide to do things,
whether it's nutrition or training or cycle sinking, everything is
(02:28):
really about creating sustainable changes that we can really feel
the benefit of in more than one way in our lives.
So I have a company called HLS Collective my best
friend started in twenty twenty and it is basically the
culmination of our wellness lives that we've had in our
twenty plus years of experience, her from more of a
(02:51):
corporate side and me from more of an athlete turn
coach side, and we basically fuse the two to offer
virtual wellness solutions as well as in person and opportunities
to connect with like hearted people around us. So that's
what I do full time. I coach at a nearby
studio and union market called work DC. I also coach boxing,
(03:11):
and I am a sponsored athlete with under Armoured Women.
And I create content online up and creating content for
about seven eight years now, So it's a lot of things.
I'm the adhd entrepreneur through and through. So you know,
I truly feel like you can do all the things
that you are interested in as long as you're strategic
(03:32):
about it and really just trying to release shame and
guilt around what we think we should be doing and
allow ourselves to flow through who we naturally.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Are being in the role that you're in where you
know women are coming to you for the advice of like,
what can I do to feel better? To look better?
What is like the number one struggle that you see
that has been consistent with your clients.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Ooh, I would say it is not making that full
commitment just yet. There's always something kind of pulling them
in one direction or the other. And I think much
of it stems from social media and consumption, and oftentimes
it's also our environment and there's that little voice in
(04:17):
the back of our heads that kind of self sabotages
in many ways, and because we have that anxiety or
that fear around what could go wrong or we have
a negative experience that we are our bodies are still
kind of storing in different ways. It takes multiple tries.
It take multiple tries to start, and it takes multiple
(04:39):
tries to continue and that's you know, someone compared wellness
to addiction, and I thought that it was really interesting
to hear that there isn't a cure, but there is
a treatment and you have to do it every day,
like you have to keep trying every single day. And
(04:59):
I think much men, any of us, as you know,
just general consumers, are kind of convinced that we are
supposed to have a solution, whereas it's actually just showing
up every day and doing it because the journey is
actually the destination.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
What are a few things that you tell your clients
to maybe do or establish within their routine that ultimately
can set them up for success with being consistent but
without feeling failure or really beating themselves up if they're
not committed to an overall plan.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Yeah, I think it's it's literally goes back to that
consumption and action. It's repetition. So what action can we
take that's simple enough for us to approach and to
repeat and not just repeat Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, but three
times on Monday, three times on Tuesday, three times on Wednesday,
and the first one is celebrating taking the action. So
(05:52):
it can be as simple as I opened my fridge
and I looked in it instead of getting on door dash.
I might have gotten on door still, but I tried
to look at what my options were otherwise, because I'm
exercising that self loyalty and exercising trying to take the
path of more resistance knowing that it's going to create
(06:14):
a further path of ease for me later on. So
we have to reprogram our brains because it's so easy
to call upon the pain and discomfort and inconvenience that's
stored within us. But if we can continue to celebrate
that we actually did something good, just like when we
see it affirmed in the community and in the chat,
(06:35):
like it's it's so powerful over time. But you know,
all the women in here can attest to the fact
that we do those things, and it feels kind of
awkward at first. It's like I'm I'm writing and repeating
out positive things. I don't feel it yet, but it's
going to happen. And just telling ourselves it's going to happen.
It's going to happen is where we can make the
greatest strides. But that's number one. Celebrate what you're doing.
(06:59):
Make sure something that's approachable and share it with someone else.
So we do celebrate internally, and that's important, but say
it out loud to somebody because there's even more, or
write it down on paper at the very least.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Yeah no, And that's why you know, I do the
challenges because despite the idea of like, oh, be great
for thirty days and then go back to your normal life.
I like that in that thirty day timeframe, you're getting support,
you're getting accountability, and it makes it a little easier
when you're doing it with someone, especially people that you
care about and that you also want to inspire and
hold accountable too. So that's what like the challenges do
(07:35):
for me. But one thing I learned about myself, and
I think this is a big, a big step in
entreprenewership for someone who wants to eat better, live better,
be more active and do the things that are really
fueling our minds is learning what you're just not good
at and what things make you not make the healthy choices.
So I realize that when I have to actively take
(07:59):
out grocery is wash them and cut them and do
all the like prep stuff just to cook, I don't
feel like cooking. And then when I have to think
of all the dirty dishes. I also don't feel like cooking.
So what I had to do is I realized that
about myself, and I said, Okay, how do we get
rid of the problem and spend one day at the
beginning of the month, Because you know, we all are
(08:19):
at the beginning of the week. We're always the most
motivated on Monday, and then it's like if you do
bad on Monday, then Tuesday and Wednesday everything just feels
like downhill because you're like, I already messed up the week.
So like Monday, I feel my best self. So that's
going to be the day that I get my groceries.
I chop them up, I clean them, I wash them,
and I store them in containers so that when it's
time to cook, I don't have to pull out the
(08:41):
cut and board and the knives and make a mess.
I can just throw it in the throw it in
the pan and be out of there. Same thing with
like my rice. Rice is the carb that I use
for my dinner, so I free cook that so that
all I have to do is like put pop it
in the microwave, and it just makes it easier. So
keeping bad things out of your home home and creating
easier ways to make those easy decisions smart because imagine
(09:04):
how terrible you would feel if you open up your
frigerator and you saw all this beautifully prepped, healthy food,
yet you decide to do door dash instead, Like that
just doesn't even make sense. So I love that you
talked about like the small step, how it leads to
like something better. Atomic Habits was literally one of the
books that changed the game for me because it broke
that down in such a simple way that you can
(09:26):
really look at your life and take something as simple
as brushing your teeth and connect it to another good
habit that then creates this you know, ripple effect. So
I probably love that. Now do you see with your
clients that when you give them the solutions right when
you share like, if this is the problem, this is
what you need to do, and you need to do
it consecutively and consistently, and then you'll start to see
(09:49):
rewards When your clients are given the plan, they're being
told what to do, but they're just for whatever reason,
not showing up, getting down on themselves or being in
a space, or maybe they feel like whatever they're trying
to do or achieve is too hard. How do you
combat that? How do you set them up for success
from a mental standpoint to feel that they're even capable
(10:10):
of doing whatever it is that they're setting out to do.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
That's a good question.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
So it and you guys can also you know, it's
the entrepreneurial life. There's been times where I've had to
make sure that my client redirects their focus into things
like therapy or actually just doing joyful activities. So we're
put if we're putting too much into the pressure, the shame,
(10:35):
the guilt, the anxiety around exercise or meal prepping or
things like that, I just asked them to go take
a walk, or go do a zumba class, or like
shake their button in front of the mirror for a
hot second, because we have to reprogram again the feeling
of number one accomplishment but also self celebration. Some client,
many clients, i should say, especially that are in corporate America,
(10:59):
are constantly in self deprivation. They're constantly feeling like they're
not doing enough, and so if they can't feel the
immediate success of even the smallest thing, then it has
to be redirected into something else that makes sense. And
that's I think truly what separates Healthy Lifestyle Collective from
a lot of other wellness or fitness programs and companies
(11:24):
is that we are willing to say, hey, really, I
think you need to see a financial planner, or really
I think you need to talk to a therapist, and
we do what we can to help them check the
boxes where it's appropriate, but we're never afraid to say, like, hey,
the reason that this is deeply not sticking for you
yet is because you are You're very consumed in something else,
(11:44):
so let's redirect it. So that's one way I've had
to definitely let go of clients before because of lack
of alignment, and I've always made sure that there I
give them some other resources or something to try and consider.
Usually as a nonpreneur, we can tell if someone is
not our ideal clients or ideal avatar.
Speaker 5 (12:06):
But if it gets a little bit further into.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Situation where you know they were very enthusiastic and then
they were a totally different person, then I do my
due diligence to let them know what I saw changed yeah,
and what I feel could be a good solution for them.
And then the third thing is when someone's having a
tough time and all the answers are there, we got
to go into the deep why. And all of my
(12:30):
clients know we have a ninety day minimum sort. We
have a four month minimum commitment in our programs. So
if you want weekly coaching, by weakly coaching, any of that,
or training, it's minimum four months. Because our first two
to three weeks we call it the research and development
of your lifestyle. It's like we're going to assess what
your current habits are, what your struggles are, and we're
(12:51):
going to use this first three weeks to get into
a routine, and then after that time frame we're really
rocking and rolling and seeing changes. But if someone thinks
that they're going to start and it's going to be
cold Turkey, I'm not eating sweets anymore and I'm going
to wake up at five in the morning and do
time and then at six pm I'm going to go
to run club, That's never the case. And so I'm like,
(13:13):
it's going to take multiple weeks, and so like just
preparing them from jump is probably the third way that
we handle it.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
I want you to talk more about the cold Turkey
thing and why it's so important to create that kind
of realistic plan and what it does for our mental
to set realistic standards for our goals. And why it's
so important because this is both for like fitness and wellness,
but also in entrepreneurship with our business. So go deeper
because exactly what you're saying, I'm like, yes, go deeper
(13:42):
into why why it's so important.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
It's science. Honestly, if we went straight up from science,
our cells, every single cell that makes up our body
is used to a certain amount of water, It's used
to a certain amount of nutrients, and so if you're
constantly eating sugar, your brain is used to its response
to sugar. Your body is used to its response to sugar,
aka spiking in energy spikes and then drops an energy.
Speaker 5 (14:08):
It drops an energy.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
So all the things that we are used to doing,
if we try to cold Turkey stop them. Things like
headaches happen, extreme exhaustion, lack of focus, and it seeps
into the rest of our lifestyle and gets in the
way of us feeling successful and even some of the
other ways that we were successful or that we were
doing well in So cold Turkey is it's a body
(14:30):
shut down. And no matter what, even if you were
able to do something like give up, you know, bread
for X amount of days. If you just gave it
up for the wrong reason because you thought you were
going to pressure yourself to do it, Eventually you're gonna
come into a situation where you're like, Okay, I could
have a bite of that, and your body's immediately gonna go, oh,
(14:51):
we missed this, and then you're back into that, you know,
if you're just falling off of the wagon a little bit.
So cold turkey is from a physical stacke sandpoint, the
hardest thing for your body to actually process, and it
makes all of the other bodily functions much harder. And
then from a mental standpoint, it feels so it is
(15:13):
so restrictive that if you're going to be that restrictive
on yourself about that one thing, then what else are
you going to be restricted to yourself for? So like,
mentally you start to kind of get in the habit
of feeling like you can't have things that you shouldn't
have things, and everything from like hang out with your
girlfriends to going on a vacation to whatever feels like
(15:34):
you have to qualify for it.
Speaker 5 (15:36):
And that's not the life that we deserve to live,
especially as hardworking women.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
Yeah, it's so good because you know when I when
I think about goal setting and the idea behind confidence, right,
confidence comes from setting out to do something and actually
doing it and those endorphins going through your body and
you feeling that feel good feeling. Imagine if every goal
(16:02):
was so outrageous that I'm not going to do any
of this? Am I going to do any of that?
The moment that you do that thing, now your confidence
has dropped. And the more that that happens, you're creating
this habit of I can't do it, I can't do
this thing. And in business and in entrepreneurship, having outrageous
like financial goals or different benchmarks, it's like the higher
(16:22):
you set the goal, each time that you don't reach
the goal, your inner self is telling you that you're
not capable, and so it will take many, many tries,
and then you'll end up realizing like, okay, wait, let's
be realistic about this. Let's set the goals. And then
each time that we do it, we're getting better, more confident,
and those endorphins are kicking in and now we feel
(16:42):
good about what we're doing. But yeah, that's something that
you know. I used to I was a victim of that.
I would always set just crazy goals girl, like I'm
gonna go a whole year without drinking hmm, And it's
like why what, Like what is even the thing? Why?
What is the role? Reason? Right? But then also it's
like why give yourself parameters to actually have a year
(17:03):
of way less drinking? But you do it in a
way where maybe instead of cutting it out all together,
you go from drinking every weekend to drinking two weekends
and then once you feel good about that, bring it
down to one weekend. Then it's only special occasions, you know,
things like that. And then you start to realize like, okay,
like we we can set our mind on something and
we can achieve it, but it has to be for
some reason, and it has to be donn a share
(17:25):
it where we're working with ourselves, not against ourselves.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Are you ready to go from hustler to soft life CEO?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
I'm here to help. I've created the Soft Life Society,
a membership based community where I provide weekly events such
as group coaching calls, brand and social media audits, masterclasses,
and featured guest speakers. Get access to members only in
person events and discounts on soft life CEO services. And
here's the best part. You can join today for free.
Visit the soft Life ceo dot com Backslash Society and
(17:55):
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Speaker 4 (17:58):
From an entrepreneur standpoint, theare the most common benefits that
an entrepreneur can receive if they were to implement and
include mourning, exercise, some form of physical activity.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Well, it's health and longevity. So we're finding more and
more that the onset for young girls of their period
is earlier, and that the onset of menopause is becoming
much earlier too.
Speaker 5 (18:26):
And this is all stress induced.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
So if we can actually level out, not necessarily eliminate,
but level out our stress and our court isol, which
is our stress hormone, then we can see so much
benefit to our focus throughout the day, our enthusiasm for
the things that we're doing, because we can show up
and get some stuff done. But I don't know if
(18:49):
anyone else here has ever gone like a month and
picked their head up and been like, I enjoy none
of that.
Speaker 5 (18:56):
We got things done, but that was not really that
wasn't it. And so being able to actually have enthusiasm
for the things that we're.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Doing, because our hormones are balance, our energy is balanced.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
There's also just.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Posturely how we show up, how we move and walk
into a room tall and structurally sound.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
That comes from exercise.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Of course, our cardiovascular health and our stamina just in
general for whatever we need to do, and then our
muscular strength. So women need resistance training. Everyone needs resistance training,
not just from posture. But for us to be able
to actually absorb more calcium again for hormonal balance, for
us to keep our bones actually more nutrient dense, we
(19:39):
have to do resistance training. And then it also helps
level out our estrogen. So estrogen is very much in
charge of our mood pretty consistently and how we metabolize fats.
So if we're looking to maintain or actually achieve a
specific body type, then we actually have to be able
to level out our estrogen and make sure that we're
(20:00):
in good levels throughout the month, not just around our periods.
Speaker 5 (20:04):
So that's a few reasons.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
But being able to say, hey, I did a really
tough workout also allows you to say, hey, I can
do anything. At this point, I had the perseverance to
push through. I had the self loyalty, I had the
autonomy to make that decision for myself. Now I can
run my business how I want to run it. I
had the self efficacy to make it happen. Now I
(20:27):
know I can do that for any tasks and help
my team do that.
Speaker 5 (20:31):
So it's just so.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Empowering, but it's also physically supporting us in not just
what we do as entrepreneurs, but how we live our
lives outside of our businesses too. We want to be
our best selves so that we can bring our bestselves
into what we contribute to the world, but also to
our families, to our children, our significant other, whatever it
(20:51):
is that we're aiming to have, or if you're a
single girl like me, just partying with the plants in
your apartment, like your best self.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
Yeah, yeah, you know. I would say that as an entrepreneur,
like when I first started so like ten years ago,
when I was in my full on hustle mode, when
I say that physical fitness of any sort had no
priority in my life and I was running myself ragged.
(21:21):
I was bouncing from one thing to the next thing,
constantly trying to people please, and not really even knowing
who I was because what I realized was I never
even spent time with myself. So one of my favorite
things now about having a very solid morning routine and
making sure that every day I take time to be active.
It is essentially meantime. And as busy entrepreneurs, you're constantly
(21:44):
answering and doing and solving and fixing for everybody else.
But it's like, when do you just, you know, give
give yourself grace and when do you actually show up
in a way that allows you to have the best
day possible. And so I'm still victim of this. There's
some days where I'll wake up and I know my
morning routine and I know that you know, it should
(22:04):
start with praise and worship, and then I meditate and
I have my little Bible scripture journal where it has
a beautiful message for me to like meditate on, and
then I answer these questions. Then I worked out. Then
I like clean if anything needs to be clean, prep
my food, do all the things, and I know that
after I do that, I feel my best self. But
there's still typically one day out of every week where
(22:27):
I will do something where a part of that isn't done,
and it's because I'm saying like, oh, I actually feel good,
and you know I did this yesterday, so I'm going
to go ahead and do that. But at the end
of the day, what it creates is inconsistency, and it
makes me not in the day like not in the moment,
I don't feel bad, but later in the day, when
I'm checking off all my to dos and looking at
(22:48):
what I've done for everyone else, it's like I had
a moment this morning where the five minutes I decided
not to do X, Y and Z for myself, I
was saying no to me and saying yes to everyone else.
But your whole day is set up to say yes
everyone else. So if you're not starting yourself your day
off for yourself, it can be very difficult to make
sure you're giving yourself that time. And as you mentioned,
(23:10):
like when you get through a hard workout, when you
put your body through something strenuous and you got through
it and you're all sweaty and nasty you have to shower,
it's like you feel good, You feel like you put
in the work, and then it starts your day off
with a new level of confidence. So that now all
the things that you have to do from a work perspective,
You're like, oh, this is nothing compared to what I
did earlier. Right, So I love that you, you know,
(23:33):
really made that very clear because I think a lot
of our listeners y'all know that you could probably do
more and that you could probably be more active. And
you know, we also have to look at our family, right,
like our family genetics and the habits and behaviors that
were passed down to us not by choice, and really analyze,
(23:53):
like what do I view as a healthy life? Because
I think what our family, our parents, you know, a
generation before us, what they view as a healthy life
is you know, they eat at drive throughs, can't tell
you how the times I had McDonald's for dinner. You know,
it's like, what is our version of healthy and what
do we want to pass down and teach to our children.
(24:15):
So my next question for you is when we talk
about family, because some of our entrepreneurs are juggling relationships
and they have children on top of their their business
and then on top of wanting to feel and look good.
Is there any like rule of thumb that your company
teaches in terms of finding balance, Because you mentioned balance earlier,
(24:35):
is there any rule of thumb in regards to finding
that balance.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yeah, it's that you you got to put your oxygen
mask on first before anybody else is besides you, including
your children.
Speaker 5 (24:46):
And it's such a hard concept.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
And Tash and I talk about this too, because we
don't have children, we don't have young children. Tash has
a step daughter whom is just disclosed in family, but
it's you know, she's grown.
Speaker 5 (24:59):
She's grown.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
So it's like being able to get the point across
to our clients can be difficult sometimes, but that comes
from a relationship that we've built with them where they
know and trust that we truly know how to get
them where they want to be, and just seeing them
for the human beings that they are, Like the moms
in our collective are so healthy and we're so proud
(25:24):
of that because we're shifting the narrative not only what
society is trying to push on us, but who we
think we are and believe we are internally too, Like
what is your internal narrative around your kid's needs versus
your own needs? And how can we shift that? And again,
it comes from the small habits and the small things.
(25:44):
So I actually trained one of my clients today she
brought her son, who's like five or five adorable. He
was the cutest thing, and he was like obsessed with
seeing his mom be strong and watching her do the reps.
And I was like, this means more that you decided
to just bring him because of the fact that now
(26:05):
he can see and appreciate how hard you work not
only for him as his mom, but for your own
personal health. And now that's building a certain level of appreciation, respect,
and you know, just general interest in physical movement for
him as a kid that isn't just sport. Like we
were lifting weights, so he was doing exercises beside her,
(26:25):
and he would get tired and walk.
Speaker 5 (26:26):
Away, and I'm like, you're tired, bud, Like Mom's still going.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
And it was really dope to be able to recognize
that that moment. So we do that virtually too, Like
a lot of times our new moms will have like
their babies right next to them, Like you can still
make it happen. It's just about taking a deep breath
and challenging the all or nothing mindset. Just because you
can't go to pilates today in the studio in the
(26:51):
city doesn't mean you can't do something. And it doesn't
mean that the something you decide to do at home
isn't still a success and isn't still going to put
you to where you want to be. Your life looks
the way that your life looks, and once we embrace
that and really become a part of it and collaborate
with the best outcome for it, then we can be
(27:11):
president and joy and we don't have to be so
stuck in what we think it should be.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
Yeah, there's two things you mentioned that I want to
follow up on and just get your your thoughts. So
earlier you mentioned therapy and then just now you mentioned
the mindset. So talk a little bit about the importance
of therapy, especially for women who maybe are in a
space where they struggle to be consistent, where they struggle
(27:37):
to find a balance, and like, maybe what myths you've
heard about therapy that would kind of open up our
listeners to not receiving therapy as something is wrong, but
going and getting therapy to just really really dive deeper
into self development.
Speaker 5 (27:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
I think a huge piece of it, especially in black
and brown communities, is self worth and challenging that narrative.
I remember when I started talking about my therapy journey,
and anyone who's in therapy can probably relate. Your mind
is blown when it starts going, when you start getting
somewhere in therapy, your mind's so blown, that's the only
thing you can talk about.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Like literally, I was like, what like and then you
become just the.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
You're in like this alternate universe where you're like, I'm
looking back at twelve year old me, I'm looking back
at six year old me, and then you've solved, you know, all,
what all your problems were back then.
Speaker 5 (28:38):
So you can't stop sharing about it.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
So I tell people like, it's I look at it
as more of what kind of fun thing can we
fun things can we discover about ourselves in the past
that have contributed to us being so wonderful now And
how consistently be able to talk and have an advocate
in a listening ear that's unbiased to just let us
(29:01):
be There is literally no judgment in therapy, and it
takes for someone that you trust, someone that looks like you,
someone that is in a place that you respect and
would hopefully want to be somewhere, you know, similar to
to kind of be the example of success in therapy
(29:22):
and caring for your own mental health, and there's a
lot of different types of therapy. One that I've grown
to be really really in love with is breath work
and somatic healing, which is very much about our actual
nervous system and different physical practices that we can do
to help release trauma and release stress in the body,
and so exploring different types. It's like, you know, movement,
(29:45):
I feel is the gateway to therapy.
Speaker 5 (29:48):
That is our gateways.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Like if I can really start taking mental health walks,
then eventually I can.
Speaker 5 (29:52):
Talk about it.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
And if I can talk about it, then eventually I
can talk about it with a person that is des
he needed to help me take action to change it.
So it's okay to be in this we call it
the pre contemplation phase. But eventually you got to ask yourself,
how am I actively taking part in the betterment of
me in the ways that I've been avoiding for X
(30:14):
amount of years or the ways that I just didn't
know were options for me to address my stress or
trauma or confusion and who I am. So that's when
I started talking about it. Though I definitely had a
moment where I'm like, oh, my followers on Instagram, like
some of them are going to think that I'm crazy,
or some of them are going to think that I
(30:35):
am a cry baby and I'm a cancer and I
am So it's like whatever. But the more that we
start to lean into the fact that there are more
people that are going to benefit from you sharing and
being honest than there are that are going to judge
you and dislike it, they don't align anyways. But also
the more that we can release that and kind of
(30:56):
challenge that narrative, the happier we're going to be.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Get My free training from Hustler to Soft Life Ceo
which includes my Untold Entrepreneurial Journey, the Soft Life CEO Roadmap,
am I winning recipe for elevating your brand, increasing your income,
and reclaiming your time. Head over to the Soft Life
ceo dot com backslash free training.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Ideal client is the someone who just wants to actually
understand themselves. They want to understand the processes that their
body is going through and what it would take to
get there, and cares about the why because we love
to nerd out about that stuff. What you're talking about
with therapy is very much about validation and when we
(31:38):
seek that validation or like try to justify why and
how that is. That's what creates enthusiasm in our journey
and in the process. And I always love to talk
about the difference between men and women. So women are
super duper process oriented, whereas men tend to be goal
and oriented. And that's why a lot of the things
that we consume make it feel as if we should
(31:58):
be just at the destination goal because much of that
stuff is run by the male mindset or a masculine mindset.
So we're very much about balancing the masculine and feminine energy.
And so for someone who's looking for more peace and
balance in their lives by way of taking action, that's
our ideal client. And sometimes it takes a little bit
(32:21):
of time for them to discover that, but they and
they can come to us and say, hey, I want
to lose X amount of pounds, But we'll always get
to the why, and we'll always try to figure out
how we can be present because just focusing and fixating
so much on the outcome, or focusing and fixating on
what we need to do, really robs us of the
joy of it. And we can say this because we've
(32:41):
had clients for years and years that will hit a goal,
maintain that weight and that lifestyle for a very long time,
and then life changes. They might move across the country.
We are across the world. We have clients in Germany,
we have clients everywhere, and so it's just getting with
them on the ebbs and flows of life. You know,
we'll have clients for ten plus years. Client I trained today,
she was my client at Gold's gym in twenty fourteen
(33:04):
and we got back together via LinkedIn to work together.
And she's two kids now, she's an ex marine, she's
an attorney, like a badass woman, and it's so cool
to see her as a mother now, where she's like
this is still important to me. She didn't come to
me overweight or anything, but she was just like I
just feel like I loved where I was connected with
(33:25):
my body when I work with you, and I want
to come back to that. And so we want the
people who want that longevity, they want sustainable wellness. They
want the wellness to be they want to be so
empowered that they can share it with the people that
are important to them so that their community and their
families are also feeling good and physically healthy. So it's
(33:47):
a deep thing I and I know, like lack of
alignment is something that we talk about in this community too.
I had a tough time trying for a while to
be mainstream fitness. It was like one of those things
where preaching about being smaller, especially as a woman who
has urged her food because she thought she needed to
(34:10):
be smaller and made it over that humping gotten to
the other side of it. It literally did not sit
well with my soul. But the more that I did that,
the less clients I had and the less I felt
successful because it just didn't align. So we also tell
our clients like, finding alignment is key, and so those
who are on a journey to find that alignment and
make their lifestyle fit them, those are our ideal clients.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
I love that. And in an ideal world, everyone would
just sign up right now and work with you. But
let's say that they're not ready. What is one key
piece of advice that you would give those listeners?
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Get on our emails because we send out all the isms,
but you know, it's the little things.
Speaker 5 (34:51):
Is the intention?
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Right, So if you are not in a journaling practice,
if you are not in an affirmation practice, start there.
If you don't have moment of quiet where you can
really breathe and recognize what your body's feeling it, where
it may hurt, where it may be uncomfortable, what you desire.
Then take that five minutes to start doing that. There's
(35:14):
plenty of guided meditations out there. I really like the
headspace app. Open is also a really good app But
just making something aligned to your schedule where you take
the time to get a little bit more a little
to dive a little bit deeper into what it is
that you want and what you feel might be the challenge.
But we do a free consultation and it's no there's
(35:36):
no strings attached. You will walk away with a plan
no matter what. But just even talking through goals. A
lot of times I'll have clients on me and say
they want to lose twenty pounds, but then it surfaces
that they have hypothyroidism, and I'm like, oh, well, a
lot of the discomfort you feel comes from the hypothyroidism,
and all you have to do is eat more carrots.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
You know.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
It's like just being able to have someone that you
can trust give you a simple plan to follow. It's
a great way to start and a lot of times
that'll happen with potential clients, and they'll come back six
months later, either having implemented the practice and feeling good
or saying like, hey, I'm ready now and we open
our doors and welcome you.
Speaker 4 (36:11):
No matter what, I love this well, I'm sold. I
am going to be signing up for my free consultation
because I just want to. I want to see this
in action, and it sounds amazing. And I was familiar
with you, right, but I didn't know in detail exactly
what you did. So this was very you know, eye
opening for me, and I mean, I appreciate it all.
So share with us you have anything exciting new happening
(36:35):
as we are ending out this year.
Speaker 5 (36:37):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
And then before even that, I want to make sure
that I say this. When I stumbled upon your thirty
day trial, the timing was so beautiful. And what I
will say about the the challenge that you run and
everything is that you are the example of what I'm
talking about. So also, when y'all anyone in here, anyone
(37:00):
listening is thinking about how to get started, stay right
where you are, Like, right here is where you are
going to continue in your environment, is where you're going
to continue to be around people that really encourage you
and change your frequency and then put you a little
bit higher each and every day.
Speaker 5 (37:14):
So yeah, you're in the right place. What I was
gonna say, but fun things.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
So back in twenty twenty one, I created a program
called Hustle and Flow. Like I said, I've dealt with
PMDD and I know so many women who have you know, endometriosis, PCOS,
struggle with PMS symptoms. And we've basically taken our wellness
company and my my ah Hustle and Flow program and
we fuse them together to do a series. Our next
(37:41):
event is going to be in person at work DC
and UNI Market on the eighteenth. It's a Sunday. We
do thirty minutes of strength training and we're gonna do
thirty minutes of dance. Kastasha is a professional with a
professional ballerina, so we're gonna do kind of like a
Horton type of flow and then a sound bath after
and then we will do a workshop on nutrition and
what food you can eat throughout each phase of your
(38:02):
cycle to balance your hormones and get your best performance.
Speaker 5 (38:06):
So that's coming up on the eighteenth and fun.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Yeah, we love, love love being able to do things
in person. But we will also be doing a small
group that meets and gets group coaching every week, so
that if you're kind of in a place where you
like I can't necessarily do one on one coaching yet
or whatever, we can meet and still do the accountability
call together, support one another in the week to week
and learn more and more about our bodies and our
(38:32):
inframim rhythm, which is our menstrual cycle throughout the entire month.
Speaker 4 (38:37):
Okay, so Monica, let everyone know how they can stay
in touch with you and everything that you have going on.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
Yeah, you can find me at train with mon on
Instagram and find us at HLS Collective on Instagram.
Speaker 5 (38:50):
We are again running that event.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
If you would like to do a free consultation, it's
hlsfit dot com slash contact and then you can see
all of our practitioners on the left side there and yeah, it.
Speaker 5 (39:05):
Would be great.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Just connect with me and if you have any questions,
just DM me.
Speaker 5 (39:11):
I'm here.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
This is such a good episode, girl. I thank you
so much for your time and for sharing all of
these outcomes with the list.
Speaker 3 (39:18):
Of course, thanks for tuning in to soft Life.
Speaker 5 (39:21):
CEO.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
I hope that today's episode gets you a little bit
closer to achieving your definition of a soft life. If
you're ready to start the journey from hustler to soft
life CEO, go to the Soft Life ceo dot com
backslash Society for a thirty day free.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Trial in my coaching community.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
If you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend,
leave a review, and don't forget to subscribe.
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