The alphabet bois episode 1 communist spider bananas!

First episode of our new podcast "The alphabet bois" Come with me as I try to convince my wife that history is neet and depressing.
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:19):
I miss LEVI.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
So this is it's interesting because I've I changed the
name of this podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Oh God, because you've been keeping this a secret this
whole time, haven't you?

Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yes, Oh my god, yes I have. So this is
a different podcast than are We the Baddies Prepared. The
name of this podcast is going to be the Alphabet Boys, okay,
and it's going to pretty much focus on the alphabets

(00:58):
of the government.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
God, why didn't I see this coming? You've been talking
about this so much lately.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Maybe I N S A, I N all those good ones,
and so in a way, you it's kind of a
choose your own adventure here. We're talking about the CIA today.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Of course, because that's what you've been talking about really
the last three days.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yes, well yeah, and do you want to hear about
a good story or a bad story?

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Well, I know that I'm probably gonna say this wrong too,
because you have not told our valuable audience why I'm
on here.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Well you're the audience stand in.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Thanks.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
Uh. Just to introduce my guest who will be joining
me on all of these podcasts. This is my beautiful, wonderful,
intelligent wife, Laura, who hates history.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
I don't hate history. I just remembered enough to pass
the class and then dump it out of my brain.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
I guess hate is a strong word, but you really
really really don't like it.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
No, it does not rub me the right way.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Yeah. So with all that being said, are we going?
Are we going? What will.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
Just do the bad one? We're not here.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Both of them, both of them end up being not good,
but one of them starts out you know better.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
CIA is related to Hoover, right or is that the FBI?

Speaker 2 (02:56):
That's the FBI. Yep.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
See, this is why I'm on here because.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
The see, Yeah, the CIA is the Dullest or the
Dullest Brothers they Alan Dulles.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
And you say it like I know that ship.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
Oh I know.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
I listened to the podcast with you and I'm see
I listened to it and I enjoyed it and dumped
it out of my brain.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
Yeah. No, it's the Dullest Brothers and their grandfather were
essentially who decided to make the CIA a thing. Alan
Dulles was the first director of the CIA, and he
started it because he liked to fuck, and he found

(03:35):
that telling women that he was a secret agent, spy
guy got their panties wet.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
This sounds like my ex Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
No, it's essentially just a bunch of at this point,
probably shouldn't say that name. We'll bleep that out at post.
That's fine. Everything's fine. So all right, So we're gonna
go with the not good, the not fun. I mean,
they're all fought, but the one that you just don't

(04:09):
have any hope from the beginning, and then we quashed
it even.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
More kay nihilism.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
So this particular story is about Operation PB's success. The
way it's spelled, in the way it's done is PBS success.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
I was gonna say it sounds like PBS it.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Yes. So that was a code name for a CIA
backed coup led against the democratically elected government of Jacob Arbinez,
the president of Guatemala in nineteen fifty four. This was
the first time that of what became a very very

(04:49):
popular program in the CIA of looking at a democratically
elected leader and seeing some of the things they do
that are like, you know, not for starving people, and
are like, well, that's communism. We need to make sure
and kill them or force them to do suicide, which

(05:10):
is what most of them did. So I'm gonna do
a little bit of backstory. First, Arbenez was elected in
nineteen fifty.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
Well we're in the fifties.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Oh yeah, no, this is real early. This is like
right when the CIA is born, Like out of the
ashes of the Oss comes the CIA and he says
about instituting reforms aimed at making his country more self sufficient.

(05:41):
And what he does is he gives huge chunks of
land to poor people. Now, this land was owned by
fruit companies from the United States who had bribed the
corrupt government before them.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
Are we going to talk about banana Republic?

Speaker 2 (05:57):
We are?

Speaker 1 (05:57):
Oh my god, I actually know about this.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
Yeah, the United Fruit Company is are the people that
leverage this Initially you know.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
You know why I know about this because it's bananas. No, really,
I don't know bananas. No, it's because I learned this
in sociology and not history.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
Of course you did, of course he did. Why would
we learn this in history, it's just history.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
I learned this in race and ethnicities.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
Oh yeah, oh my god, of course. So anyway, this
did not rub the US government in the correct way.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
Most things don't.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
It was not received pleasurably. Now you look at this
and it's like, okay, this is obviously communists because it's
land reform. He's nationalizing land away from companies and giving
it to citizens. The thing is, this wasn't land they
were using. This was land that was just sitting there.

(07:00):
It was leveraged land that the United Fruit Company used
to make sure no other companies could come in and
use it.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
Now, before we get into this is obviously communism, which
I know is like in quotation marks from the US government.
I want to come from the ignoramous side of communism
and be like, Okay, Typically when we hear communism, we're
thinking everything is so government regulated that if you wear

(07:31):
the wrong kind of din and pants you're going to
be executed. Like that's the general blanket viewpoint of communism.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
That's a dictatorship, yes.

Speaker 1 (07:40):
But that's what I mean, Like, yeah, communism is often
equated with dictatorships, fascism, and anything that looks outside of
a capitalist escalator is not just socialism. But like the
snowball into communism.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
Right, how dare we, you know, let poor people we'll
have some land to farm potatoes on.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
Right. I just want to make sure, like this is
the picture of US propaganda that we're.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
Painting, right, and this is like hot. This is nineteen
fifties communism, so it is like hot, hot, hot hot.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
Are we before or after the Cold War?

Speaker 2 (08:18):
We're during During We're in the hot center of the
boiling like red scares and shit like.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
But before the Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck conquering planets.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
Skit, you know, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
That was a metaphor for Russia and the US, and
like the race to nuclear war in.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
The Cold War, it was the mutually assured destruction.

Speaker 1 (08:40):
Yeah, but it was with Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
I don't know what when it came out, but sure, okay,
I would say it's around that time. Bugs Bunny's probably
a big deal. At least we digress. The exploding cigar
joke is from the CIA two. You know how they
always have the exploding cigars. Yeah, that was an idea

(09:03):
to kill Castro. It was one of the many really
silly ways that Robert Kennedy came up with to try
to kill Castro after the Bay of the failed Bay
of Pigs invasion. Exploding cigars, it sounds like something I'd
come up with.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
I mean, it's it's the mid nineteen sixties. Like they're
just fucking spitballing at this point, right to the fruits,
back to the fruits. So the United Fruit Company is
just absolutely probably one of the most absolutely bloody corporations

(09:45):
in history, and is also like in deep with the
Eisenhower administration, like everyone is somehow like the six degrees
of Kevin Bacon away from the United f Company, Like
Eisenhower's wife is best friends with one of the board

(10:09):
of directors of the United Fruit Company, and all.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
That she brought back adult birthdays celebrating adult birthday parties.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
There you go.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
I learned that from Sarah Paulsen on American Horror Story.

Speaker 2 (10:21):
I mean, I'm sure it's not a lie if American
Horror Story told us about.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
It exactly, it's not a fabrication at all.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
It was the best part of that season about aliens.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
No, the best part was discovering our cat is a
reincarnation of Eisenhower.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
He just really wants to be gay, but there's no
other dudes for him to fucking exactly.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
But he's very serious.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
He's very serious, and Eisenhower is just really overrated as
a military leader.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
So our cat is six degrees away from the fruit people.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
Yes, what we're saying is that our cat at one
point spirit was in charge of the rape and murder
of an entire country by backing the CIA. Yes, it's
all Ichabod's fort, No, mister man ripping out part families. Anyway,

(11:14):
So the CI director at the time was Alan Dulles,
and his brother, John Dulles was the Secretary of State.
Spoiler alert. They're just horrible human beings and have been forever.
And both of them were also tied to the United
Fruit Company because Alan, if I'm remembering correctly, one of

(11:37):
them anyway, was uh he was a lawyer for a
long time, and his like it's the lawyers. Oh yeah.
His specialty was he worked, he worked with a firm.
He was very he was one of the partners. And
their specialty was getting American utility companies in charge of

(12:02):
utilities in other countries very US okay, yes, and also
making sure that quote unquote US interests were defended abroad.
Now that means US corporate interests, not actual American interests.

Speaker 1 (12:20):
No, it's usually like capitalistic interests like that free interest rates.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
Oh we need we can't have bananas without slavery.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Guys, but we can have bananas with tarantulas.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Sorry, I have no idea what that's in reference to.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
There's spiders that come over on bananas. Okay, it's a
banana tarantela.

Speaker 2 (12:43):
The banana tarantela.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yeah, it's a thing they sit in the bushels.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
I mean it seems like a good idea if you're
a spider. Big spiders, their tropical I mean everything.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
And this is why I won't go there.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
To where the bananas. Yes, I refused to bananas.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
Always check your bananas.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
Right, and they're clones. So if you aren't eating all
of your bananas, you're killing clones. You're killing my bananas
by not eating your bananas. I don't know how that
all connects together. But okay, side.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
Six degrees from the fruit company, I'm telling you your
six degrees, we've got ichabod and now we have spiders.

Speaker 2 (13:28):
Okay, that sounds you chose to bring me ones reasonable.
I'm I believe that. Other things that I believe in
include taking on time ad breaks. And it's the time
at which we would do that.

Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yes it is, so my phone didn't vibrate.

Speaker 2 (13:51):
We're all professionals here and we're back. I did a
ca out down and got called cute about it.

Speaker 1 (14:01):
Yeah, even though you did the countdown for the other one,
not the real one. Yeah, I wasn't ready.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
You know what, it's the wrong button thing. I just
wanted to be alt shift instead of shift space bar
I remember. Anyway, So back to the evils of bananas,
including banana spiders and the fact that they're clones and
the CIA, which I think is what this is, this

(14:31):
podcast is about.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
So you're the one that named it. Yes, Oh, were
you trying to be sarcastic a little? Ah? Good try?

Speaker 2 (14:46):
I feel so edified. But your commentary today you brought
me on. I know you'll be good for ratings. You're cute.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
Um.

Speaker 2 (14:59):
So we have the United Freud Company, who is the
embodiment of corporate evil. We have John and Allan Dulles,
who are the embodiment of American internationalism and the idea
of like, eh, if it's not in America, it's not real.

(15:21):
Those aren't people.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
That hasn't changed at all, man, It really is.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
Just makes me sad. So the the United Food Company
gets all pissed because you know, they lost out on
a bunch of power essentially no money because they haven't
affected any of their growing. They haven't said like, no,
you can't do business here. They just said, look, these
contracts are obviously shit. These were from our corrupt former government.

(15:49):
We're not going to honor these at all. And so
the the President of Guatama lays out this great plan.
It passes democratically, and they they start to to do
it to put poor farmers on this land and support

(16:12):
them and be like, no, we're gonna we're gonna help
you do this. You're gonna get education, your kids are
gonna get educated, and we're gonna make it so that
you can keep this land forever and it can be
like your the base of your upward swell through society,
because you know, they just it's not They don't want
it to be communism where everybody's the same. They were

(16:33):
just like, maybe these people should be able to eat
and not be trapped in essentially slavery to the United
Fruit Company, And well, the United Fruit Company didn't like
that because margins and stuff.

Speaker 1 (16:50):
People do get in the way of margins.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
Humans do have the issue of being alive and wanting
like autonomy and free will.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
Feel that I feel that.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
Yeah, is not very well it doesn't fit on the
on the ledger very well.

Speaker 1 (17:08):
There isn't like a category in the chart of accounts
for nihilism. No know what any of that means.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
The chart of accounts I do. I've I've used the
softwares of which you are referring to, which I can't
name on this podcast, but is used for bookkeeping and
accounting across the country, very very very popularly.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
For those that don't know.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
I'm a bookkeeper, yes, And she's talking about quick books.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
So I'm not talking about QuickBooks. I am talking. Chart
of account is for everything, not QuickBooks. It's part of
bookkeeping in general.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
So it's tracking me. Yes, that sounds like communism.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
Everything is tracking, the vaccine is tracking.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
It's the fucking deep state, deep state accounting a anyway.
So as this goes on, and with the intervention of
several other horrible, horrible people from the West that we

(18:19):
won't go into too much on this particular episode, but
maybe we will later, the Eisenhower administration decides that it
is going to train four hundred and eighty mercenaries essentially

(18:39):
to go in and foment rebellion against this guy. And remember,
democratically elected and This was when the UN would actually
like come in and audit your elections and make sure like, oh, okay,
yeah this was done legitimately, because this is when the
UN actually had some power.

Speaker 1 (19:01):
It's always like tried to done. It's always tried to done.
It's always tried to be done correctly in the beginning,
and then people get tired.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
You know, a unified voice of people. It doesn't fit
on the ledger. We got to keep them separate.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
Gotta take it off the chart of account.

Speaker 2 (19:20):
You have to keep it off the books. So four
hundred and eighty CIA trained mercenary soldiers funnel in to Guatemala.

Speaker 1 (19:32):
Why do they call them mercenaries. I never understood that
that might be my Southern Baptist upbringing, where like we
were taught mercenaries was a good thing.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
Think of it instead of mercenaries a good thing like
a mercy missionary.

Speaker 1 (19:51):
Yeah, Like we always equated mercenaries with missionaries, like they're
in there to help reform and make things good.

Speaker 2 (19:58):
I mean, a mercenary is just one who fights for money.

Speaker 1 (20:01):
I mean that does fall in line with the Southern
Baptist Church ideologies.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
It's very true. I mean the I the like the
etymology of the word is merchant soldier, Like that still
falls in line with the scenary.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
I mean, yeah, continue mercenaries, mercenaries, missionaries.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
Missionary position sex dogs. I don't know. So anyway, they
are led by a exiled Guatemalan military officer who has
he tried to do several military coups in the past
and is openly just he's a an authoritarian, and the

(20:48):
Eisenhower administration and the CIA and the Dullest Brothers all
know this, that he's just a horrible individual. His name
is Colonel Carlos Kostia Ramez, and he forcibly rests s
Guatemala from Arbez Arbez Urbanez's control. Now, what they don't

(21:09):
really mention, or I haven't mentioned yet, is that this
was like a two year civil war that took thousands
of people's lives. And usually it's just like blanched over
of like, oh, yeah, this guy came in and did
a coup and then then he was in control. We

(21:30):
don't really go into the oh, more people died in
this than the American Civil War, but let's not talk
about that. Well, you know what else is hard to
remember besides this guy's name. All of the products and
services that are available through these wonderful vendors do do
do do, And we're back on recording. Just to give

(21:58):
a little bit of a closer look to this whole operation,
let's look at how Eisenhower really kind of bled into this.
So Eisenhower was course a military commander, is the supreme
commander of the Allied forces in the European theater in

(22:21):
World War Two, and he did not like communists, did
not like communists. As a matter of fact, he was
elected pretty much on the basis of being well, number one,
if you're a military commander in America, you get to

(22:43):
go be the president because you know that happens.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
America.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
Fuck yeah. So after Truman leaves office, Truman was kind
of like, eh, I don't know. So he leaves office,
and when Eisenhow comes in, he pledges to pursue a
more proactive anti communist policy, promising to roll back communism
rather than contain it, and he starts pursuing what's called

(23:13):
the atmosphere of McCarthyism in government circles.

Speaker 3 (23:17):
I have heard of the McCarthyism, yes.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
Yes, and Eisenhower.

Speaker 3 (23:22):
I know nothing about it.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
I have just heard.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
Don't give me that face. Don't give me that face.
That's for another episode.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
I was going to say, maccarthyism is not for today,
but we will go into McCarthyism.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
This is why I'm here, folks, This is why I'm here.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
Yeah. So, anyhow, and Eisenhower really liked the CIA because
the CIA only answered to him and he didn't have
to get congressional approval. And while Truman just kind of
used it as like, oh, you're like the Oss replacement,
Eisenhower was like, oh, you're my private army that will

(23:58):
do whatever I want, the CI or the Truman. Eisenhower
decides that he's going to use the CIA to depose governments,
just you know, because he can.

Speaker 3 (24:14):
Sounds like when I play risk.

Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah, pretty much. So tension in Guatemala. Tension between the
US and Guatemala was kind of always on the rise.
And what kind of tipped it over was the Guatemalan
government legalized the Communist Party in Guatemala. That does not

(24:37):
mean that they were communists. They just said okay, if
anyone wants to be a communist, you can, and you
can form a communist party if you want. And it
included a government coalition for the elections in January of
nineteen fifty three. Articles published in the US press often
reflected this predisposition to see communist in fluence. For example,

(25:02):
a New York Times article about a visit to Guatemala
by Chilean poet Pablo Neruda highlighted his communist beliefs, but
neglected to mention the fact that he was one of
the greatest living poets in American history. Several figures in
the Eisenhower administration, including Secretary of State John Foster Dulles
Here he comes again and his brother, CIA director Alan Dulles,

(25:25):
had close ties to the United Fruit Company. The Dulles
brothers had worked for the law firm of Sullivan and Cromwell,
which sounds like an English the bad Guy corporation.

Speaker 1 (25:38):
That will say it sounds like an English murder mystery series.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
Welcome to Solomon and Cromwell.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
Hey, hold on, I'm gonna I'm gonna pause you in
the middle of your article reading here. Yes, so, just
so I understand clearly the reason behind the United States
going after banana tarantula people, Yes, and their government.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
Which is by the way, I'm going to get a shirt.
This is banana.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
Banana trantla people, because that's how the US sees them
at the moment. They see them as banana tarantila people. Yes,
the whole reason the United States decides to pick a
fight with Guatemala is simply over the fact that they're
announcing that they are legalizing running for communism or legalizing

(26:29):
a communist party.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
Part of it, Okay, that's like the icing on the
cake after the president fronts this, the legalization of land reform.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
Okay, So what about the legalization of land reform makes
it the eggs and the flour and the dough of
the cake.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
So the land reform. Land reform is a tenet of Marxism.
So the idea is to sees the means of production.
What's the most basic means of production?

Speaker 1 (27:03):
Is? I love it when you quote sociology to.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
Me, Well, you're I don't know, you know, you know.

Speaker 3 (27:10):
You don't know, I know Marxism.

Speaker 1 (27:12):
Oh my god, that's sociology eleven oh one, jeez, continue, continue, continue.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
Anyway, to seize the means of production, to seize land
it is and too obviously you want to nationalize corporations
so that people own them instead of conglomerates. So when
he comes in and says, okay, maybe we should take

(27:40):
all this land that while you own, and we're probably
going to end up compensating you for at market price.
We're going to give it to poor people and let
them own land so that they can become like middle class.

Speaker 1 (27:55):
So that's the only like, that's that's the basest reason
is the United States does not like the act that
people of a lower socioeconomic status might have a future. Yep,
that's it. Okay, I just wanted to make sure like
that's where we were at and I didn't miss.

Speaker 4 (28:16):
Something or no, that that's like the entire reason. God
the US people, Yeah, well no, and it's it's so
And in a funny way, because they did the the
Guatemalan government paid the United Fruit Company for their land.
They didn't steal it. However, the United Fruit Company had

(28:39):
the right to report how much it was worth every
year to pay taxes on it, and so they just
kept saying that, oh, this is worthless land, it's it's unusable.
And so the Guatemalan government said, okay, well buy your
own statements. This is worth this much, so we'll pay
you that for it.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
And so the noted fruit company was like.

Speaker 1 (29:01):
Hey, okay, there we go. There we go, there's the
eggs and the flower. Okay, it comes down to the
cost of the land.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
Yeah, a big part of it.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
Okay, Okay, that that I can connect the dots with.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
Yeah, And I'm like.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
Why would the US I mean, I say that, and
like I've seen what we did to Cuba and everything,
and I'm like, why would the US Cararaguanamala does And okay,
now it makes sense.

Speaker 3 (29:26):
Now there we go business interest, there we go. Okay,
continue that.

Speaker 2 (29:30):
And by giving a bunch of poor people land to
grow their own food and sell and do all that
kind of stuff and raise them out of poverty, they
don't have to work for what amounts to slave wages
on a banana farm, and so wages start to go
up for poor people and that cuts into the United
Fruit Companies margin because what's the point of growing your

(29:55):
bananas in a different country if you just have to
pay someone a living wage to do it?

Speaker 1 (30:00):
Roman But we're outsourcing. This is we're outsourcing.

Speaker 2 (30:04):
Right, that's good, right or bad? I can't remember. Some
days good, some days bad. So and really what they
needed to do and the Dulles brothers were both very
good at this was to make the business interests a
national interest, and how they did that was to say, well,

(30:25):
this guy is obviously communist and he has to be
backed by the Soviet Union, who is bad guys like
they're Bolsheviks. This is horrible. So at this point Eisenhower
decides that, well, maybe we could just do both and

(30:48):
just say they're both of the problem. However, communism's easier
to sell during an election year, and being hard on
communists is kind of what got him elected. So he
was kind of backed into a corner. And I'm not
saying this too anyway, relieve him of the shit show
that was what is about to happen. The CI operation
code name once again, Operation PB's Success, was authorized by

(31:12):
Eisenhower in August nineteen fifty three. The operation was granted
a budget of two point seven million US dollars for quote,
psychological warfare and political action. What this means is essentially
Eisenhower told the CIA, here's a lot of money, go

(31:33):
fuck up this country. And they did. However, they did
go over budget, which was a problem.

Speaker 1 (31:39):
I mean, when do not go over budget?

Speaker 2 (31:40):
Yeah, I mean you say.

Speaker 3 (31:41):
You're going a guideline.

Speaker 2 (31:43):
Yeah, you say you're going to use two point seven
million dollars and you end up using you know eight.

Speaker 1 (31:47):
You've seen my credit card statements.

Speaker 2 (31:48):
It's a guideline, all right, you've seen mine. And this
employed over one hundred CIA agents, so you know what,
it's a job builder where we're putting where we're adding
jobs with CIA operatives. The operation recruited scores of individuals
from Guatemalan exiles and the populations of the surrounding countries,

(32:10):
which is interesting that they would recruit from other countries
around Guatemala to you know, go back and overthrow the
Guatemalan government. Almost like those people were didn't have any
interest in the well being of the Guatemalan solitiudents. They
were just trying to get some of that big fat

(32:30):
US money pit that we're throwing at them.

Speaker 1 (32:33):
Why relieve yourself out of poverty by owning your own
land when you can relieve yourself out of poverty by
being the right hand of the devil.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
Yeah, exactly, it's a lot. It's a lot quicker to
overthrow government than to grow bananas. You got to get
those those This is a green, this is a yellow
banana operation, not a green banana operation.

Speaker 3 (32:56):
I like have so many jokes for this right now,
you give me the banana jokes.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
Now my brain shot.

Speaker 2 (33:02):
Of course, I asked you.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
I'm gonna say, like, well, you know, the.

Speaker 3 (33:07):
Republican Party would disagree with that.

Speaker 1 (33:10):
It's faster to grow bananas than to overthrow the government.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
Yeah, asked the January sixth guys.

Speaker 3 (33:16):
That's what I mean. That's what I mean.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
They were trying to get yellow bananas out of a
green banana situation.

Speaker 3 (33:24):
Anyway, green banana suck, by the way.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
Green bananas do suck, and you it's a metaphor for
a long term investment. Another member of the team besides
the good old Dulles boys, was William D. Pawley, who
was a wealthy businessman in diplomat with extensive knowledge of

(33:46):
the aviation industry. Pure Freud was a military militant, anti
communist and had proven his willingness to work with the
CIA during his time and Greece, because we all remember
what happened in Greece. No Operation Gladio.

Speaker 3 (34:03):
No, I don't know what that is either.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
So you remember, for anyone who watches the show, Archer,
do you remember the episode when Mallory ties the Greece
Prime Minister to a chair and then kills him after
being a large thing up as butt. Yes, and cites
Operation Gladio.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
Yes, she's my hero. Yes, well, well she cites it.
I don't know what it is.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
She's like, it was the Operation Gladio and you had
him killed.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
For all I know, Like that was just a fictional
line they used in the show.

Speaker 2 (34:34):
No, Hilariously, they reference a lot of like horrible CIA
operations in Archer. If you we'll have to rewatch it.

Speaker 1 (34:44):
Soon, We're going to rewatch it, like doing this is
gonna teach me the reference.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
No, like seriously, like they probably talk about horrible CIA
operations way more in this animated comedy cartoon about a
drunk spy. Then you get in any college course obviously
about the CIA.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
Because I'm sitting here like I don't know what Operation
Gladio Gladiator is, right.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
The short story of Operation Gladio is we left behind
a bunch of CIA operatives to make sure Greece didn't
become communist, and then the wonderful CIA way if anyone said, hey,
you know, maybe we shouldn't let poor people starve in
the streets. They were like, whoa, that sounds like communism.

Speaker 3 (35:36):
That's a tall order.

Speaker 2 (35:37):
Yeah, so they just killed all the leftists, just all
of them.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
Well to another episode on Operation.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
Oh, we're going to do an operation. We've got the Iran,
We've got Grease, we've got all the good ones we've
got Anyway, so this guy, John Pure was the was
put in charge as the ambassador to Guatemala after he

(36:06):
had been you know, ambassador to Greece during Operation Gladio.
It's almost like there's there's a pattern here of taking
really rich dudes and sticking them in countries who are
you know, developing, and being like, hey, we know that

(36:26):
you're real into just having lots of money and being
an oppressor and feeling like important. So we're gonna put
you over here where we see some socialism happening, and
you just facilitate us fucking it up. So that's what
he did.

Speaker 3 (36:42):
They're the investor.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
Yes, So under his tenure, relations with the Guatemalan government
got really bad, like worse than it already was. All
though those with the Guatemalan military got real good. He
you know, he liked the military, and the military liked
him because he gave them lots of money. In a

(37:06):
report to John Dallas, Perfoy stated that he was definitely
convinced that if Arbez is not a communist, then he
would certainly do until one comes along. Within the CIA,
the operation was headed by Deputy of Director of Plans
Frank Wisner. The field commander selected by Wisner was former
US colonial.

Speaker 3 (37:26):
Colonel colonial colonial. I was really hoping you would just
run with colonial.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
It's colonial. Now I've decided there is no r at it.
I'm just gonna say it's colonial and keep going. Albert Haney,
then chief of the CIA station in South Korea, huh weird.
Another state that had a dictatorship that we propped up
to have a war about with communism.

Speaker 3 (37:52):
What was called the Korean War. Okay, they didn't have
a cool name.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
No, it was under Truman.

Speaker 3 (38:01):
He was not going to give an that's what the
Korean War was. My brain has something else registered. No
one all around, No one.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
Knows that, because everybody's like, oh, yeah, that was against
the Communists, and it's like, yeah, but who is it supporting?
Oh it was a dictator that fun. We like to
do that because you can control one person with money
real easy, but like an entire civilizations are anyway, they
might have ideas. Then Chief and c I station in
South Korea. Haney reported directly to Weisner, thereby separating PB's

(38:31):
success from the CIA's Latin American Division, a decision which
created some tension within the agency. Hani decided to establish
headquarters in a concealed office complex in Opa look of Florida,
code name Lincoln. It became the Nerves Lincoln Lincoln. I

(38:51):
don't I don't know. People just they just chose fucking
names out of a hat.

Speaker 3 (38:56):
It sounds like when I come up with shit in
my like in my writing.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
So something to remember about these guys. They're always drunk,
Like they are a state of drunk that is drunker
than you have ever been drunk.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
But every day, I mean you've seen me fall flat
on my face literally after craving chili cheese fries.

Speaker 2 (39:15):
Yeah, that was that was a rough night. Like just
imagine like and they're just coming up with this shit,
like I just call it, well, let's move it to
oval Ola, Florida, and let's call it Lincoln.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
I mean, Operation paper Clip made sense to me because
I'm like, oh yeah, they probably payper clipped files together.

Speaker 2 (39:33):
I mean, yeah, they will. It's it's the war. We
had to use alcohol to clean guns and stuff. We
couldn't have as much. Only the soldiers got alcohol because
you got to be whiskeyed up to kill other people.
So the CIA operation was complicated by a premature coup.
Who doesn't who hasn't ever.

Speaker 3 (39:52):
Suffered premature elation.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
Coming a little earlier on the nine month of March
nineteen fifty three with a feudal raid against the army
garrison in Salama. I'm going to butcher all these words.

Speaker 3 (40:07):
You are, you are absolutely butchering.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
Look it's s A L A M A with a
funny thing.

Speaker 5 (40:12):
On the top, Solamia Salama, and it's Solamia solamna Solamia Solamia.

Speaker 2 (40:23):
I'll go with that. You know where it's better than.

Speaker 3 (40:25):
I believe that is how it's pronounced. I could be wrong,
but that's my brain season.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
And your ethnic ambiguity. And tell me what this word means.

Speaker 3 (40:33):
Oh God, they're going to come for me.

Speaker 2 (40:35):
They're coming for you. Well, the CIA came a little early,
as it.

Speaker 3 (40:42):
Does as most people about being secret agents.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
And do you know what else comes early?

Speaker 3 (40:49):
As in service the ads.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
And services that make this podcast possible. I really hope
there's some type of weird dick pill.

Speaker 1 (40:59):
It's going to be.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
Please, oh God, quick books or pills. I'll take dick pills.
I have heard it into it commercial on podcasts before.
We should probably actually just take the break and we'll
just do that. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
Yeah, there you go. Now you're having them too.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
No, I don't want to remember theater.

Speaker 1 (41:28):
Me, my mama, and that is why you never got
singing parts in theater. That is yes, or laid leather,
yellow leather, red leather, yellow leathers.

Speaker 2 (41:40):
God, that sounds just like something from a m Night
Shamalan movie that you have to repeat to not die. Okay,
So where we left off was me mispronouncing where this
army garrison was in central Guatemalan, Guatemala.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
What it's s a m A m a And does
it have the squiggle or the straight No?

Speaker 2 (42:06):
No, this is this is the Salama Slamier, not Solent,
not wine taster. I don't know what. I'm not Faine Selachias.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (42:23):
So the rebellion was swiftly crushed and a number of
participants were arrested. Several CIA agents and allies were imprisoned,
weakening the coup effort. So the CIA came to rely
more heavily on the Guatemala exile groups that they had
assembled an Operation Lincoln and other anti democratic allies in Guatemala.

(42:46):
Notice they say anti democratic, not you know, anti communist.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
So democratic in this instance is anti elected?

Speaker 2 (42:59):
Yes, anti I will of the people, gotcha?

Speaker 1 (43:01):
Not like the republic that we run under that they say,
this was a democratically run country, but rather, we don't
really like that the people use their voice. We want
the people to kind of congregate around one person that's
our voice, and then they all get with other people
that make an echo chamber.

Speaker 2 (43:23):
Yes, and then corporations come in and bribe them.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
And yeah, the corporations are always there. They're always there.
We know that.

Speaker 2 (43:28):
Yeah, I mean there was, like there has always been
the right wing influence of, well, we can't just let
people vote themselves circuses and bread until they die. And
it's like most people won't do that. Most people are
pretty smart. As a matter of fact, corporations are made

(43:49):
up of people, and you know, legally are people in
the United States anyway, least we digress. The CIA considered
several candidates to lead the Miguel you Degories Fuentis, the
conservative candidate who had lost in the nineteen fifty election

(44:10):
to Urbanus, held favorite with the Guatemalan opposition, but was
rejected for his role in the Ubiku regime, which was
the guy who was super corrupt and gave all of
the land to the Banana Republic or to no good
lord company. Yeah, so he he couldn't because he.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
Was Please spell his name.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
M it's Miguel yes, Y D I G O R
A S. Yeah, A confused look and dead air.

Speaker 1 (44:45):
I'm having to like see it in my brain because
I'm not looking at it.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
Why do I R We'll just call him Miguel Fuentis.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
I would like to be respectful.

Speaker 4 (44:57):
He was.

Speaker 1 (44:58):
He go with Miguel. Wow, now you've got me doing it.
Go with Miguel flin days.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
I mean a big part of it is also, like,
I don't the dude worked with the opposition government that
ends up like leading to a coup. He doesn't need
much respect anyway. So he didn't get on well because
he was associated with the dictator as he was also white,
which was an issue and it was unlikely to appeal

(45:26):
to the majority of the Mestizo population, which is mixed
race population. Another popular candidate was a coffee planter who
is Juan Cerna, and he had briefly served on the
president's cabinet before becoming the legal advisor to the United

(45:50):
Fruit Company. However, the death of his son in an
anti government uprising in nineteen fifty turned him against the government,
and he had planned the unsuccessful Salamia coup in nineteen
fifty three before fleeing to join Castillo Armas in exile.
Although his status as a civilian gave him an advantage
over Castio Armas, he was diagnosed with throat cancer nineteen

(46:14):
fifty four.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
This is like a Batman origin story.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
Really is, and so he died. Thus it was Castillo
Armes in exile since a failed coup in nineteen forty nine,
and the CIA and on the CIA's payroll since nineteen
fifty one, who was to lead the coup. Castile Armos
was given enough money to recruit a small force of

(46:38):
mercenaries from among the Guatemalan exiles and other populations of
the Latin American countries nearby. This band was called the
Army of Liberation. The CIA established training camps in Nicaragua
and Honduras and supplied them with weapons as well as
several bombers. The US signed Misis military agreements with both

(47:01):
of those countries prior to the invasion of Guatemala, allowing
it to move heavier arms freely. The CIA trained at
least seventeen hundred and twenty five four and gorillas, plus
thousands of additional military as reserves. These preparations were only
superficially covert. The CIA intended urbanists to find out about

(47:21):
them as part of its plan to convince the Guatemalan
people that the overthrow of Arbanez was a Fiat accomplae. Additionally,
the CIA made covert contact with a number of church
leaders throughout the Guatemalan countryside and persuaded them to incorporate
anti government messages into their sermons.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
That was, you know, always comes down to the pulpit.

Speaker 2 (47:46):
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Speaker 1 (47:48):
Yep, where people get swayed the easiest yep.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
And of course most of those, you know, they were
they were Catholic for the most part, so they were
already pretty not great, They're already pretty right wing because
this is before the Catholic uprisings in Latin America where
they got real, real leftists.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
Okay, okay, it.

Speaker 2 (48:13):
Was a weird moment. The Vatican did not approve. While
preparations for Operation PBS success were underway, Washington issued a
series of statements denouncing the Guatemalan government, alleging that it
had been infiltrated by communists. The State Department also asked
the Organization of American States to modify the agenda of
the Inter American Conference which was scheduled to be held

(48:36):
in Caracas in March nineteen fifty four, which is in Caracas,
requesting the addition of an item titled intervention of International
Communism in the American Republics, which was widely seen as
a move targeting just Guatemala. The Guatemalan published documents containing

(48:56):
information leaked to it by a member of Castillo Armos's
team who had turned against him. Lacking any original documents,
the government had engaged in a poor forgery to enhance
the information it possessed, undermining the credibility of its own charges.
A spat of arrest followed of allies of Castile Armis
within Guatemala, and the government issued statements implicating a government

(49:19):
of the North in a plot to overthrow Arbenz. Washington
denied these allegations. In the US media uniformly took the
side of their government, even publications which had up until
then provide relatively balanced coverage of Guatemala, such as the
Christian Science Monitor. Yes, it was actually pretty balanced back

(49:39):
in the days.

Speaker 1 (49:41):
Well, okay, it's called Christian Science Monitor. It's kind of
like I could see it being a balanced scale of.

Speaker 2 (49:49):
Ill facts, and I mean it's we have to remember
at this time in America there was a large portion
of Protestants were leftists.

Speaker 1 (50:04):
Yeah, it was before the end of the Cold War,
when the Christian population became more nationalists as a rebuttal
to communism and their atheism. See look, I know things
you do.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
The Evangelical Revolution also learned it in sociology, it was
the the Fallwells's when you have the proverbial like switching
of sides from democrat and Republican. And you can see
it more currently with the the war on trans people.

(50:42):
I mean, it was gay marriage and then it you know,
at first it was communists and then it was gay
marriage and gay people in the zeitgeist like becoming more
mainstream was going to destroy America and now it's trans
people and being able to decide what your gender.

Speaker 1 (50:59):
Is is gonna you know, being a person.

Speaker 2 (51:01):
Yeah, being able to have autonomy in any way.

Speaker 1 (51:04):
Being a person is very anti us.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
Yeah, anti Christian.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
Really have the American dream, but it's our American dream.

Speaker 2 (51:11):
Make sure that you push out enough kids to grow
the workforce.

Speaker 1 (51:17):
I mean, my cervix hurt.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
So this suggested or the Christian Science Monitor suggested that
Arbenis had succumbed to communist propaganda. Several Congressmen also pointed
to the allegations from Guatemalan government as proof as it
had become communists. So at the conference in Caracas, various

(51:41):
Latin American governments sought economic aid from the United States
as well as its continuing non intervention in their internal affairs.
The US government's aim was to pass a resolution condemning
the supposed spread of communism in the Western Hemisphere. The
Guatemalan foreign minister Guillermo Torrella argued strongly against the resolutions,
state Torriot Torriette, Torriel, Torieo t O R I E

(52:09):
L l O. This is turning into a grammatical I'm
just gonna let you read all these beforehand.

Speaker 1 (52:16):
Next time, Okay, probably best.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
You can put them in parentheses beside there and like.

Speaker 1 (52:21):
It won't help you.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
I've seen you. I don't pronounce names. Well, okay, let's
not go there. I'll always go there, I know. Eight
years later, almost nine, he argued strongly against the resolution,
stating that it represented the inter internet internationalization of McCarthyism.

(52:43):
Despite support among the delegates of Torriello's views, the anti
communist resolution passed with only Guatemala voting against it because
of the votes of dictatorships depended upon the United States
and the threat of economic pressure applied by John Dulls.
He's gonna come back again later too.

Speaker 1 (53:02):
He hasn't really left. I'm being perfectly on that.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
No, he has docked his penis with the entire idea
of Latin American independence, and it's slowly sliding into it,
pushing his United States semen into the uterus of Latin America.

Speaker 1 (53:19):
That's not what docking.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
Is, No, But I started off with that metaphor, and
then I realized it didn't work. I'm thinking like he
docked it.

Speaker 3 (53:28):
Into like a ship and a port.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
Yeah. Look, I don't want to give him any type
of idea that he's good at sex. So in my life,
Oh god, no, they're all dead.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
Okay, then do you want me to go into my
mediumship trance and see if he's like the Dulles Not really, I.

Speaker 2 (53:51):
Was about to say, he's probably hopefully being tortured in
some type of hellscape that is beyond our recognition, because
he did not get any type of just he got
an airport named after him.

Speaker 1 (54:05):
That's where I've.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
Heard that name, Dullas International Airport. Yeah, okay, they have
a statue.

Speaker 1 (54:11):
So he's entered the chat.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
So he has entered the chat and he never left.
He's asking asl to everybody. Although support among the delegates
for Dulles's strident anti communism was less strong than he
and Eisenhower had hoped for, the conference marked of victory
for the US, which was able to make concrete Latin
American views on communism. So the US had stopped selling

(54:34):
arms at this point to Guatemala, while signing bilateral defense
agreements and increasing arm shipments to neighboring Honduras and Nicaragua.
The US promised the Guatemalan military that it too could
obtain arms if Farbenez was deposed in nineteen fifty three,
The State Department aggravated the US arms embargo by thwarting

(54:56):
the Arbenez government's arm purchases from Canada, Germany, and Rhodesia.
By nineteen fifty four, Oh yeah, so good old Rhodesia. Man,
We'll do something on Rhodesia. Okay, good old South America.

Speaker 1 (55:15):
I'm recognizing your sigh anytime I'm like, what's that and
you're like, oh, this is good, I'm like, okay, okay,
sub sub paragraph in a chapter I did not read.

Speaker 2 (55:28):
There's a lot of there's a lot of Rhodesian history,
and most of it's around white nationalism and the death of,
you know, the idea of freedom in Africa. By nineteen
fifty four, Arbanez had become desperate for weapons and decided
to acquire them secretly from Czechoslovakia, because of course that's

(55:50):
how you do it, which would be which would have
been the first time that a Soviet block country shipped
weapons to the Americas, an action seen as establishing a
communist speechhead in the Americas. The weapons were delivered to
Guatemala at the Atlantic port of Puerto Beros by the
Swedish freight ship by the Swedish, because of course the
Swedish would. The US failed to intercept the shipment despite

(56:15):
imposing an illegal naval quarantine on Guatemala. However, Guatemalan army
officers quoted in The New York Times said that some
of the arms were duds, worn out, or entirely just
not good weapons. The CIA portrayed the shipment of these
weapons as Soviet interference in the United States's backyard. It
was the final spur for the CIA to launch its coup.

(56:37):
So essentially, the US said, well, we're going to sell
all your neighbors a lot of weapons, like so many guns.
We're going to give them to them, actually, but you
can't have them unless you overthrow your government that you elected,
the military, and you can't buy them from Canada or

(56:57):
Germany or anywhere else that sells any type of weapon.
And so the only other people making weapons are the Soviets,
and it kind of forces them to try to buy
weapons from them. And then of course it's Czechoslovakia, you're
gonna get an empty containership full of spent shells or something.

Speaker 1 (57:16):
I'm having this very strong realization right now that the
way I play risk means I probably would be a dictator.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
Most people don't need to be dictators, like no one.

Speaker 1 (57:26):
What I mean by that is, like my strategy play
a risk. Is this like what you're describing? Yeah, this
is my strategy.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
Do you wall off all options?

Speaker 1 (57:37):
You start in Australia, right, and then you go to
the borders and go in.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
You cut off all avenues of escape except for one,
and then you let them run through that and then
cut their heads off.

Speaker 1 (57:51):
The last time I played risk was with a lawyer,
a doctor, and an accountant when I was thirteen, and
they all got very much at me by the end
of it.

Speaker 2 (58:01):
The last time I played risk, it was against my
roommates who were married, and they teamed up against me
because I started beating them and it was just.

Speaker 1 (58:13):
Sounds like your entire time living there because I remember it.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
Yeah, Oh it was horrible. Yeah. The second that I
had any traction, they would like yeah. And then they
just banded together and I'm like, this isn't part of
the game. I was reading like the rules, like you,
this is not part of the The idea is to
beat everybody else. Castillo's army of four hundred and eighty

(58:38):
men was not large enough to defeat the Guatemalan military
even with the US supplied aircraft. Therefore, the plans for
Operation PBS Success called for a campaign of psychological warfare,
which would present Castillo's army's victory as I fit a
complete to the Guatemalan people and would force Arbinez to resign.

(59:01):
The Propagana campaign had begun well before the invasion, with
the USIA or the US Information Agency, writing hundreds of
articles on Guatemalan based on Guatemala, based on CIA reports,
distributing tens of thousands of leaflets throughout Latin America.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
Always comes down to the leaflets.

Speaker 2 (59:24):
It's always leaflets. You just have to remember to bring
your pamphlets. Didn't bring any brochuals to the revolution.

Speaker 1 (59:32):
Hanging them on posts with little numbers at the bottom.
Are you being attacked by communism this line?

Speaker 2 (59:39):
Have you banned molested by the communists? The CIA persuaded Friendly.

Speaker 1 (59:45):
Probably want to cut that out.

Speaker 2 (59:46):
No, it's fine. The CIA persuaded friendly governments to screen
video footage of Guatemala that supported the US version of events.
As part of the psychological warfare, The US Psychological Strategy
Board authorized a nerve war against individuals to instill fear
and paranoia in potential loyalists and other potential opponents of

(01:00:10):
the GUP. This campaign included death threats against political leader
leaders deemed loyal or deemed to be Communists.

Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
And this is like the ogqon. Oh yeah, well probably
not the Ogqanon, but like this is QAnon pre Internet.

Speaker 2 (01:00:27):
This is definitely the CIA taking a book out of
Czarist Russia's Anthology of Terrorism.

Speaker 1 (01:00:34):
Yeah, I know what that is.

Speaker 6 (01:00:35):
Yeah, totally, uh totally, well, you know, so there there
they are the people that came up with the Notes
of the Elders of Zion or whatever it's called.

Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
That was the first time that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
That is so Tolkien.

Speaker 2 (01:00:53):
That's a very odd way to put it, because it's
about it's a it's a it's a fake report about
like meeting notes about this cabal of Jews that are
supposed to like be planning world domination. And it's literally
the first time that the Jews were supposed to be

(01:01:16):
like the world domination thing. But it was brought up
by like the eighteen hundreds in Russia, and it was
to incite more pigroms against Jewish people, like they needed
more help.

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
So before eight chn there were letters.

Speaker 2 (01:01:34):
Was even before Hitler Hitler.

Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
Yes, you said the eighteen hundreds. I at least know that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
Yes, yes, I can do time. We know about Hitler.
We don't have to talk about Hitler.

Speaker 1 (01:01:48):
I have to listen to one more podcast about it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
Oh, don't worry, Argentina is in here somewhere. So which
actually goes back to the Dullases, because they helped a
lot of Nazis get out of Germany.

Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
Yes, Operation Paper No, No, this was just damn it.
I thought I knew something, you.

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
Know, the SS officers and people that they decided would
be like real good to you know, keep alive in
case they needed some Nazis.

Speaker 1 (01:02:21):
I did I do recall that?

Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
Yes, yeah, yeah, the doulass that was them. They're the
people that put like former SS officers in charge of
the German intelligence agency post World War Two. It just
makes you sad.

Speaker 1 (01:02:41):
I mean, nothing really makes me happy anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:02:44):
Uh you do?

Speaker 1 (01:02:45):
You totally?

Speaker 2 (01:02:46):
I was I was gonna say, like, wow, I had
this conversation ever since I went on meds. It's been better. Everybody,
all of the listeners can read into that, which you will.
What are the meds for? Do they make me happy.
Do they make her happy?

Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
One day we'll do an ASMR of me shaking all
my pill models.

Speaker 2 (01:03:09):
Well let's just be the moroccas of antidepressants anyway. So
and if you were Another fun thing that they did,
and this is all organized out of Florida, of course,
was that they would mail.

Speaker 1 (01:03:26):
Anything goes in Florida.

Speaker 2 (01:03:28):
Well, yeah, that's where Operation Lancon. What's going on still
in Ayahuasca? Uh is ayahuasca legal in Florida?

Speaker 1 (01:03:36):
Remember they have that like Ayahuasca Church in Florida.

Speaker 3 (01:03:40):
Oh yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
That's right. It's not because they were like, it's not the.

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
World, but it's a legal practice because they're religion.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
Yeah, because they're a church, which whatever, we'll go in
maybe maybe one day we'll go into that, but not
this day. So they just I mailing small wooden coffins
and non functioning bombs and hangman.

Speaker 3 (01:04:04):
Nooses to escalated quickly.

Speaker 2 (01:04:08):
It's almost like the CIA was like, Wow, let's take
all the things that we do to minorities in the
United States to sow terror, and let's do it to
other countries.

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
But we're gonna go ahead and ship you the like
cleanup boxes, so you can, you know, just go ahead
and dispose of it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:30):
When you're at it. Yeah, we're just gonna threaten you
with lynch.

Speaker 1 (01:04:33):
That's my new term for coffins is cleanup boxes.

Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
Cleanup boxes. It's the ultimate cleanup box. For some reason,
I just had a vision of a coffin full of
coum anyway.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
So it would be so crusty.

Speaker 2 (01:04:49):
I mean, would it evaporate before you could fill it?

Speaker 1 (01:04:52):
It would just oxidize the entire time. But what can
all right, it oxidizes so fast, like it would oxidize
before you could fill it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
So you know about coffins, are they sealed? Like do
they have a seal on them like a refrigerator or
is it more just like eh? Because I feel like
if we had, like if we made a coffin with
an airtight seal, we could fill it with common.

Speaker 1 (01:05:12):
Okay, So there's a difference between a coffin and a casket.
Both can have the airtight seal. Coffin is usually like
with nails, put the nail in the coffin because it
seals it. With caskets though there's actually a key that
locks it and seals it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
It's really weird.

Speaker 1 (01:05:30):
Yeah, it's on both ends. Because you have the two
different just lids, you have the two different It's actually
so fun story. They're actually used to keep family members
from like crawling in the casket with them.

Speaker 2 (01:05:46):
I mean, the only other use is if the people
crawl out of the casket. There's just a whole bunch
of questions now in my brain.

Speaker 1 (01:05:54):
I used to have one like, oh, used to have
a casket key in my car.

Speaker 2 (01:05:59):
I'm just gonna let the listeners to do so what
they can off of that. And by listeners I mean Levi, Levi. Anyway,
at least we digressed.

Speaker 1 (01:06:13):
This is a secret to marriage, guys learning new things
about each other.

Speaker 2 (01:06:17):
I yeah, I did not know that you had a
casket key.

Speaker 1 (01:06:19):
I gave it back. It had too many engagement ring
It went with the engagement ring.

Speaker 2 (01:06:26):
Oh my gosh, and have your key to your coffin
back too. Okay, hang on, I have to ask this
now while I'm trying to catch up on where I stopped.
You can explain this complete.

Speaker 1 (01:06:40):
The difference was going to casket in a coffin.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
No the ship show of why why did someone give
you a a coffin? He was like, it's the key
to my heart.

Speaker 1 (01:06:50):
You're the only one that actually think he said that
when he gave it to me. He didn't call me
babe though, but like he would give me weird little
pieces for those but don't know which is all of you.
I was engaged to a funeral director in my early twenties,
which is it does sound very serial killer. Is like
he gave me pieces of caskets, and in a way

(01:07:14):
it kind of was. But I ended up with like
a collection, Like I had casket railings and keys, and
I never had like a pillow or liner or anything
like that.

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
Would you ever sleep in a casket?

Speaker 1 (01:07:27):
No, they because when they come in shipped, like they're
usually not lined yet or they're like sometimes they're lined,
but so actually no, I would say that when they
come in shipped, they are pretty much lined, but they
go like directly to use, so there's usually like a
stock of them, but they're wrapped up and sealed so

(01:07:48):
that they can maintain their freshness and not have like
any dust on them or anything before the viewing or
the ceremony. Almost said ritual ceremony.

Speaker 2 (01:07:58):
It's a ritual.

Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
So I've never slept in a casket, uh huh, never
done anything else in a casket. But hearses are the
best thing in drive throughs. Yeah, you can get your
food real fast, real fast.

Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
It's you don't want to piss off the person with
the hearse. You never get pulled over in a hearse,
he don't. That's how you end up. So I just
had a real good idea to transport drugs across the country.
If anybody wants to make money, let me know.

Speaker 1 (01:08:33):
For legal reasons. That's a joke.

Speaker 2 (01:08:34):
This is in roadblocks.

Speaker 3 (01:08:39):
Anyways. Anyway, So they sent them coffins and nooses.

Speaker 2 (01:08:44):
Coffins and nooses. Yes, So Washington decides it's time to
escalate its intimidation of Guatemala through its navy. So on
May twenty fourth, the US launched Operation had Drop Baker,
a naval blockade of Guatemala.

Speaker 1 (01:09:02):
If that's German, I definitely don't know how to pronounce it.

Speaker 2 (01:09:04):
It is not well, I don't think it is. It's
just a really shitty name. I mean, at this time period,
they're not good at names. They're almost as bad as
historians as names. Historians are historically bad.

Speaker 1 (01:09:18):
I've read your papers.

Speaker 2 (01:09:20):
So ships and submarines patrolled the Guatemalan coasts and all
approaching ships were stopped and searched. These included ships from
Britain and France, and this was a big time illegal
violation of international law. However, Britain and France didn't protest
very strongly because WE were still propping up their governments and

(01:09:41):
they hoped that the in return, the US would not
interfere with their efforts to subdue rebellious colonies in the
Middle East. And you know what else is a rebellious
colony in the Middle East and helps subdue.

Speaker 1 (01:09:54):
Them corporations involved in advertisements.

Speaker 2 (01:09:57):
Oh, listen to our ads, all right, all.

Speaker 1 (01:10:07):
Right, all right, please don't ever do that again.

Speaker 2 (01:10:11):
Only when we may love anyway.

Speaker 1 (01:10:15):
No, no, I will sleep with an extra body pillow
between us.

Speaker 2 (01:10:20):
No target was out of body pillows.

Speaker 1 (01:10:24):
I'm really upset about this.

Speaker 2 (01:10:25):
It happens. It's just the whitest of white people problems.
So however, Britain and France did not protest this very
strongly because they didn't want the US to interfere in
their efforts to subdue rebellious colonies in the Middle East.
Not colonials, colonies. The intimidation was not solely navel.

Speaker 1 (01:10:48):
Sorry, I was just thinking of coronis coronis, well like
if you pronounced it like colonel, like colonial, like kernel,
like how it's supposed to be and instead of colony corona.

Speaker 2 (01:11:01):
Okay, okay, de corrupt.

Speaker 1 (01:11:03):
Ok you know, but okay, I'm proud of it.

Speaker 2 (01:11:06):
I'm proud of you. The intimidation was not solely naval.
It also went onto belly buttons. On the twenty sixth
of May, one of Castillo Armas's planes flew over the
Capitol and dropped leaflets that exhorted people to struggle against
communism and support Castillo.

Speaker 1 (01:11:23):
So you're saying leaflets fell from the sky like manna.

Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
They literally did a leaflet drop out of the sky
like they bombed leaflets like. It's the fucking newsies. Okay,
I don't think Okay, hang on, what am I thinking of?
Is it the newsies when they start throwing newspapers from
the buildings.

Speaker 1 (01:11:44):
I think that is a part in newsies.

Speaker 2 (01:11:46):
Yes, we'll see now this now we have an excuse
to watch the newsies again.

Speaker 1 (01:11:49):
I am always down to watch newsies.

Speaker 2 (01:11:51):
I'm the King of New York. The most wide reaching
psychological weapon was the radio station Voice of Liberation, and
it began broadcasting on the first of May nineteen fifty four,
carrying anti communist propaganda. All anti communists, all the time.

Speaker 1 (01:12:08):
I really hope it was like in a van.

Speaker 2 (01:12:11):
Down by the river, telling its listeners to resist the
urbanist government and support the liberating forces of Castillo Armas.
The station claimed to be broadcasting from deep within the
jungle of the Guatemala and hinterland, the deep st We're
going into the deep jungle now, a message which many
listeners believed. Actually, the broadcasts were coming from Miami by

(01:12:35):
guatemal And exiles, and then they were flown to Central
America and broadcast through a mobile transmitter. So you are
literally correct. It's van.

Speaker 1 (01:12:44):
It's always a van.

Speaker 2 (01:12:45):
It's always Avans are so great. They do so many
good jobs.

Speaker 1 (01:12:50):
I love vans, I hate driving them.

Speaker 2 (01:12:52):
Uh, you haven't driven the right van yet. Then we
got to get you in the van, Van life.

Speaker 1 (01:12:59):
I'll get in the van. And I don't want to
drive the van.

Speaker 2 (01:13:01):
I'll get you in the van. The Voice of Liberation
made an initial broadcast that was repeated four times, after
which it took to transmitting two hour bulletins twice a day.
The transmissions were initially only heard intermittently in Guatemalan City.

Speaker 1 (01:13:14):
Sounds like the worst sermon ever it is.

Speaker 2 (01:13:17):
A week later, the CIA significantly increased their transmitting power,
allowing clear reception in the Guatemalan capital. The radio broadcasts
have been given a lot of credit by historians for
the success of the coup, owing to the unrest they
created throughout the country. They were unexpectedly assisted by the

(01:13:38):
outage of the government run radio station, which stopped transmitting
for three weeks while a new antenna was being fitted.
These transmissions continued throughout the conflict, broadcasting exaggerated news of
rebel troops converging on the capitol and contributing to massive
demoralization among both the army and the civilian population. So

(01:14:01):
what we've covered today is pretty much the reasons behind
the why the US decides Guatemala is communist now or
the government that has been elected as communists.

Speaker 1 (01:14:19):
The Tarantulas are commis.

Speaker 2 (01:14:20):
Yes, Tarantula's in tiny Bolshevik hats, which now I need
that on a shirt.

Speaker 1 (01:14:26):
I'm gonna draw that later.

Speaker 2 (01:14:27):
Banana Tarantula's might be the logo on this podcast, Don't
fuck with my banana tarantelas sees the means of spider webs.

Speaker 1 (01:14:44):
They are literally a means of production.

Speaker 2 (01:14:46):
They poop out their own houses and that's cool. I
wish I could shit my own house out. I guess
you could, though it's just a lot of poopy.

Speaker 1 (01:14:56):
But it's not bulletproof.

Speaker 2 (01:14:58):
If look, if you pile enough shit up, it will stop.

Speaker 1 (01:15:01):
A bullet not like spider web silk, which is bulletproof.
According to my biology teacher in ninth grade in two
thousand and.

Speaker 2 (01:15:10):
Four, remember the thing about goats being able to excrete
spider webs.

Speaker 1 (01:15:15):
Yeah, they tried to cross breeds in the goat because
they were like, we can't milk. And there was that
weird like picture that went around on the Internet of
the goat with like eight legs.

Speaker 2 (01:15:25):
Yes, but it wasn't That part wasn't real. But the
part with them using spider DNA or weaver DNA in
goats to make them produce or weaver silk is true.

Speaker 1 (01:15:42):
I think the goats died like very quickly.

Speaker 2 (01:15:45):
I mean I would not.

Speaker 1 (01:15:46):
Their genetics did not support the movement.

Speaker 2 (01:15:48):
I would not be surprised if spider goats were not particularly.

Speaker 3 (01:15:54):
Called Operation mud hoof, like.

Speaker 2 (01:15:57):
Operation mud Hoof. That sounds like the title of a
porn watched get your mud hoof inside.

Speaker 1 (01:16:06):
Of Me totally sleeping on an extra body pull of
a twin.

Speaker 2 (01:16:09):
US tonight, that would put it up to.

Speaker 4 (01:16:15):
So.

Speaker 1 (01:16:15):
Anyways, up until this point, we have discovered that the
United States still like first profits over people, and they
were going to invade, or not invade, but overthrow Guatemala
because Guatemala put people over profits and the fruit of
the loom company fruit company, not fruit as a loom.

Speaker 2 (01:16:36):
Yeah, I mean probably, Look it's we'll do this.

Speaker 1 (01:16:40):
Fruit company did not agree with this, and thus we
are on the edge, the edge of the Banana Republic.

Speaker 2 (01:16:47):
We are literally edging an invasion right now, like we
are at the tip.

Speaker 1 (01:16:53):
Did I did I do it? Did I do it?
History Professor? Did I get it right?

Speaker 2 (01:16:58):
I've also watched this porn now, so you could say
that the Armes invasion is rubbing the tip of its
engorged member across the unwilling opening of Guatemala's port.

Speaker 1 (01:17:18):
While leaking pre pamphlets falling from this guy.

Speaker 2 (01:17:22):
Yes, and the United States is in the background screaming,
just fucker bro with its hat backwards drunker than anyone
has ever been.

Speaker 1 (01:17:31):
That's a frat party I left when I was nineteen.

Speaker 2 (01:17:35):
Yeah, it happens. So we're gonna stop here because we're
like quite a ways in to this, and uh, this
is turning into a multi part podcast and what we're
gonna come back to is, uh, we're gonna get into

(01:17:58):
the actual, you know, invasion of Guatemala by the armed
resistance fighters, the noble death Squads as as we would
call them.

Speaker 1 (01:18:14):
I dug it.

Speaker 2 (01:18:17):
Yeah, I'm sure that they also dug it. Wow. I
don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:18:24):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:18:24):
Okay, So anyway, you got any pluggables to plug.

Speaker 1 (01:18:31):
I am a bookkeeper, that is true. I also own
an Etsy store where I like to do Tara readings
known as third I Sparkle, and you can find me
on TikTok at that Curse Person. There's underscores in there,
but you'll still find me as that curse person because
I like to talk about Witchie shit, which is my history.

Speaker 2 (01:18:55):
And by history, she means history. But yeah, so look
that up. She's very famous.

Speaker 1 (01:19:06):
I'm not very famous.

Speaker 2 (01:19:08):
She's very famous.

Speaker 1 (01:19:08):
I'm not very famous.

Speaker 2 (01:19:09):
You're famouser than me.

Speaker 1 (01:19:11):
That doesn't mean I'm very famous.

Speaker 2 (01:19:13):
Well, you're very famous. I think you're very famous.

Speaker 1 (01:19:16):
You're so sweet.

Speaker 2 (01:19:18):
Anyway, So tune in next time where we're going to,
you know, check back in on Guatemala and Armis and
probably Eisenhower and the Dullas's and all the other.

Speaker 3 (01:19:29):
Horrible and the tyridulas.

Speaker 2 (01:19:31):
And until then, remember that I hate most of you.

Speaker 1 (01:19:35):
Bye.