July 7, 2025 • 7 mins
Tune into this episode to learn about the importance of self validation vs external validation.
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Learn more at: https://caliconnector.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I don't know, queen.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hi, this is Danny Felt and you're listening to the
Danny Felt podcast. On this episode, we're gonna talk about
self validation. Here we go, let's get into it. So.
I had a conversation recently with my coach and I
(00:31):
was feeling extremely triggered around the topic of just people
not getting back to me on time, with things like
people not texting me on time, people not emailing me
on time. And I started to wonder, why am I
feeling so sad about this?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Like why does this bother me so much?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Why am I getting anxiety over people just not responding
to when I text her emails?
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Like what is wrong with me? I was thinking.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I started to notice a pattern where I thought, Man,
I am feeling really anxious about this. It reminds me
of when you like someone and they don't text you
back and then you're like anxious and like freaking out
and like, oh my god, so I said, I said
to my coach, I was like, why am I getting
(01:24):
so emotional over people not texting me back on time
or emailing me on time?
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Like what is going on? Why am I feeling so sad?
And you know what she told me.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
She told me the reason I was feeling so sad
was because I was looking for external validation to create
my worthiness, to bring me my worth, to make me
feel like I am worthy.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Let's let that sink in for a second.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
I was equating my worth to how fast people respond
to my messages or to liking my posts, Like how
many likes I get on social media equals my worth?
Do you ask a baby when they're born if they're
worthy or not? Like if they didn't smile perfectly, or
(02:20):
if they don't speak on time? Are you like, hey, baby, like,
why are you worthy? You didn't do this on time
or you didn't get this goal?
Speaker 1 (02:30):
No, of course not.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
You love the baby because it's just you. Just love
it for who it is, just being born. So why
do we do this to ourselves? Why do we look
for external validation to tell us how worthy we are,
to make what everyone else thinks is important about us
mean our worth. So I had to take a deep
(02:53):
look in the mirror and really think to myself, have
I really been equating my worth with the amount of
likes I get on a daily basis from people and
the amount of messages I get answered on a daily basis,
that's crazy. So I said to myself, Okay, for now on,
I'm going to set a goal to start finding self validation,
(03:16):
which means I'm going to start validating myself my own worthiness.
I'm gonna start high fiving myself in the mirror. I'm
gonna start telling myself you're amazing, and I'm going to
stop looking for external validation to really drive my happiness.
Because if we let other people be the reason of
(03:37):
our happiness, then we're always looking for other people and
we're always co dependent on other people to bring us
that sense of joy and purpose and worthiness. So I
said to myself, Okay, like, what can I start doing
to create self validation within myself so that I could
(03:57):
stop relying on other people telling me how I am?
So I thought, okay, what do I want to do?
What would make me happy? And I thought voice lessons.
I miss singing.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
I missed voice lessons.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
So I googled a voice coach and I found one
really close to me, and I set up a session
and oh my god, you guys like this voice lesson.
I almost cried. I was so happy because I was
finally doing something that my soul has been like calling
me to do that my heart has been wanting me
to do. It is such a powerful space when we
(04:35):
take back our power of our worthiness, making it mean
things based on what other people believe in us, and
we make it back on ourselves. We bring the responsibility
to validate ourselves versus looking for external validation.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Guys. Don't get me wrong, of.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Course I like the likes on social media and putting
the pretty photos up and getting likes.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Who doesn't like that? Right?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
But we can't make the priority the main factor of
our worthiness. That has to be just a tiny part
of the pie, if any. What I want to invite you,
guys to start doing is to start asking yourself what
would make me happy?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
What do I need? Is it?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I want to go take dance lessons, voice lessons, painting lessons?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Is it? I want to go sign up for.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Speed dating events. I want to start dating again. I
want to hire a coach to help me with my goals,
like what's going to make you happy? Let go of
the expectations of living your life for other people and
making decisions based on making others happy, and start asking
yourself what would make me happy? Let go of the
(05:46):
expectations that you put on others to make you happy,
and start thinking what would make me happy? It could
be so simple, But what I want to invite you
to do is to let go of the knee for
external validation. Do not look to other people to fill
the void that you're feeling inside. The key to feeling
(06:09):
happier is to find the validation within self. This is
what my coach challenged me to do. Start self validating.
So recently I hired an editor to help me finish
my book. I hired a voice coach to help me
start doing voice lessons. I started my podcast. As you see,
you know, it's like when you tap into what makes
(06:31):
me happy?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
What do I need? Right now?
Speaker 2 (06:34):
The potential is limitless and you start to live your
life for yourself and not for others. And this is
so gratifying, It is so powerful. It will make you
so much happier and fulfill you so much more than
you ever could have got from that like.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
On social media.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
So I just want to invite you to start asking
yourself what would make me happy? What do I need?
What do I truely you want? And to start validating yourself,
to start high fiving yourself in the mirror. To start
telling yourself, I am amazing. To start doing the affirmations
if you want to, to start hypnotizing yourself and loving
(07:13):
on yourself and being kind to yourself and cheering yourself on,
hyping yourself up, becoming your own best friend. And this
is so much more fulfilling than just looking for external validation.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
So let me know how it goes.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Feel free to DM me, let me know what happens,
and stay tuned for the next episode. I will see
you in the next episode. Thanks so much for listening. Hi,
this is Danny Fel and thanks so much for listening
to the Danny Fel Podcast.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Stay tuned for the next episode.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
See you then.
I don't know, queen.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hi, this is Danny Felt and you're listening to the
Danny Felt podcast. On this episode, we're gonna talk about
self validation. Here we go, let's get into it. So.
I had a conversation recently with my coach and I
(00:31):
was feeling extremely triggered around the topic of just people
not getting back to me on time, with things like
people not texting me on time, people not emailing me
on time. And I started to wonder, why am I
feeling so sad about this?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Like why does this bother me so much?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Why am I getting anxiety over people just not responding
to when I text her emails?
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Like what is wrong with me? I was thinking.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I started to notice a pattern where I thought, Man,
I am feeling really anxious about this. It reminds me
of when you like someone and they don't text you
back and then you're like anxious and like freaking out
and like, oh my god, so I said, I said
to my coach, I was like, why am I getting
(01:24):
so emotional over people not texting me back on time
or emailing me on time?
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Like what is going on? Why am I feeling so sad?
And you know what she told me.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
She told me the reason I was feeling so sad
was because I was looking for external validation to create
my worthiness, to bring me my worth, to make me
feel like I am worthy.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Let's let that sink in for a second.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
I was equating my worth to how fast people respond
to my messages or to liking my posts, Like how
many likes I get on social media equals my worth?
Do you ask a baby when they're born if they're
worthy or not? Like if they didn't smile perfectly, or
(02:20):
if they don't speak on time? Are you like, hey, baby, like,
why are you worthy? You didn't do this on time
or you didn't get this goal?
Speaker 1 (02:30):
No, of course not.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
You love the baby because it's just you. Just love
it for who it is, just being born. So why
do we do this to ourselves? Why do we look
for external validation to tell us how worthy we are,
to make what everyone else thinks is important about us
mean our worth. So I had to take a deep
(02:53):
look in the mirror and really think to myself, have
I really been equating my worth with the amount of
likes I get on a daily basis from people and
the amount of messages I get answered on a daily basis,
that's crazy. So I said to myself, Okay, for now on,
I'm going to set a goal to start finding self validation,
(03:16):
which means I'm going to start validating myself my own worthiness.
I'm gonna start high fiving myself in the mirror. I'm
gonna start telling myself you're amazing, and I'm going to
stop looking for external validation to really drive my happiness.
Because if we let other people be the reason of
(03:37):
our happiness, then we're always looking for other people and
we're always co dependent on other people to bring us
that sense of joy and purpose and worthiness. So I
said to myself, Okay, like, what can I start doing
to create self validation within myself so that I could
(03:57):
stop relying on other people telling me how I am?
So I thought, okay, what do I want to do?
What would make me happy? And I thought voice lessons.
I miss singing.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
I missed voice lessons.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
So I googled a voice coach and I found one
really close to me, and I set up a session
and oh my god, you guys like this voice lesson.
I almost cried. I was so happy because I was
finally doing something that my soul has been like calling
me to do that my heart has been wanting me
to do. It is such a powerful space when we
(04:35):
take back our power of our worthiness, making it mean
things based on what other people believe in us, and
we make it back on ourselves. We bring the responsibility
to validate ourselves versus looking for external validation.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Guys. Don't get me wrong, of.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Course I like the likes on social media and putting
the pretty photos up and getting likes.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Who doesn't like that? Right?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
But we can't make the priority the main factor of
our worthiness. That has to be just a tiny part
of the pie, if any. What I want to invite you,
guys to start doing is to start asking yourself what
would make me happy?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
What do I need? Is it?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I want to go take dance lessons, voice lessons, painting lessons?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Is it? I want to go sign up for.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Speed dating events. I want to start dating again. I
want to hire a coach to help me with my goals,
like what's going to make you happy? Let go of
the expectations of living your life for other people and
making decisions based on making others happy, and start asking
yourself what would make me happy? Let go of the
(05:46):
expectations that you put on others to make you happy,
and start thinking what would make me happy? It could
be so simple, But what I want to invite you
to do is to let go of the knee for
external validation. Do not look to other people to fill
the void that you're feeling inside. The key to feeling
(06:09):
happier is to find the validation within self. This is
what my coach challenged me to do. Start self validating.
So recently I hired an editor to help me finish
my book. I hired a voice coach to help me
start doing voice lessons. I started my podcast. As you see,
you know, it's like when you tap into what makes
(06:31):
me happy?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
What do I need? Right now?
Speaker 2 (06:34):
The potential is limitless and you start to live your
life for yourself and not for others. And this is
so gratifying, It is so powerful. It will make you
so much happier and fulfill you so much more than
you ever could have got from that like.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
On social media.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
So I just want to invite you to start asking
yourself what would make me happy? What do I need?
What do I truely you want? And to start validating yourself,
to start high fiving yourself in the mirror. To start
telling yourself, I am amazing. To start doing the affirmations
if you want to, to start hypnotizing yourself and loving
(07:13):
on yourself and being kind to yourself and cheering yourself on,
hyping yourself up, becoming your own best friend. And this
is so much more fulfilling than just looking for external validation.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
So let me know how it goes.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Feel free to DM me, let me know what happens,
and stay tuned for the next episode. I will see
you in the next episode. Thanks so much for listening. Hi,
this is Danny Fel and thanks so much for listening
to the Danny Fel Podcast.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Stay tuned for the next episode.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
See you then.
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