April 27, 2024 • 59 mins
Lux Radio Theatre, sometimes spelled Lux Radio Theater, a classic radio anthology series, was broadcast on the NBC Blue Network (1934–35) (owned by the National Broadcasting Company, later predecessor of American Broadcasting Company [ABC] in 1943–1945); CBS Radio network (Columbia Broadcasting System) (1935–54), and NBC Radio (1954–55). Initially, the series adapted Broadway plays[1] during its first two seasons before it began adapting films. These hour-long radio programs were performed live before studio audiences. The series became the most popular dramatic anthology series on radio, broadcast for more than 20 years and continued on television as the Lux Video Theatre through most of the 1950s.
The primary sponsor of the show was Unilever through its Lux Soap brand.Broadcasting from New York, the series premiered at 2:30 pm, October 14, 1934, on the NBC Blue Network with a production of Seventh Heaven starring Miriam Hopkins and John Boles in a full-hour adaptation of the 1922–24 Broadway production by Austin Strong. The host was the show's fictional producer, Douglass Garrick (portrayed by John Anthony). Doris Dagmar played another fictional character, Peggy Winthrop, who delivered the Lux commercials. Each show featured a scripted session with Garrick talking to the lead actors. Anthony appeared as Garrick from the premiere 1934 episode until June 30, 1935. Garrick was portrayed by Albert Hayes from July 29, 1935, to May 25, 1936, when the show moved to the West Coast.[2]Famed studio executive and film producer and director Cecil B. DeMille took over as the host on June 1, 1936, continuing until January 22, 1945.
That initial episode with DeMille featured stars Marlene Dietrich and Clark Gable in The Legionnaire and the Lady. On several occasions, usually when he was out of town, he was temporarily replaced by various celebrities, including Leslie Howard and Edward Arnold.
The primary sponsor of the show was Unilever through its Lux Soap brand.Broadcasting from New York, the series premiered at 2:30 pm, October 14, 1934, on the NBC Blue Network with a production of Seventh Heaven starring Miriam Hopkins and John Boles in a full-hour adaptation of the 1922–24 Broadway production by Austin Strong. The host was the show's fictional producer, Douglass Garrick (portrayed by John Anthony). Doris Dagmar played another fictional character, Peggy Winthrop, who delivered the Lux commercials. Each show featured a scripted session with Garrick talking to the lead actors. Anthony appeared as Garrick from the premiere 1934 episode until June 30, 1935. Garrick was portrayed by Albert Hayes from July 29, 1935, to May 25, 1936, when the show moved to the West Coast.[2]Famed studio executive and film producer and director Cecil B. DeMille took over as the host on June 1, 1936, continuing until January 22, 1945.
That initial episode with DeMille featured stars Marlene Dietrich and Clark Gable in The Legionnaire and the Lady. On several occasions, usually when he was out of town, he was temporarily replaced by various celebrities, including Leslie Howard and Edward Arnold.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
But present Hollywood. The lux RadioTheater brings you Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland
in Martin of the Movies, Ladiesand Gentlemen. You're a producer, mister
(00:22):
Cecil B. DeMille readings from Hollywood, Ladies and Gentlemen. On Monday nights,
after our curtain falls and our starsare going home, the staff usually
hangs around for a while to cutup the show, chick out all the
(00:43):
flaws, and see where we madeour mistakes. One Monday night, a
few weeks ago, I accused theboys of having failed to startle me with
anything lately. They were already forme. They said, let's put Mickey
Rooney and Judy Garland in Merton ofthe Movies. That the startler. It
happened that our two stars had justfinished their picture Babes on Broadway at Metro
(01:06):
Golden Mayer. So here's Mickey,here's Judy, and here's Merton of the
Movies. And I suppose here's anaudience that's wondering what's going to come out
of it all. We'll move over, brother and make room for us.
Nobody knows when youngster is as livelyas please to are concerned. But most
of you will remember that Merton ofthe Movies was a triple hit as a
(01:26):
novel a player at the motion picture. It's the amazing story of what happened
to one movie struck young man whoexchanged the comparative calm of a general store
in the Middle West to the incomparableHurlyburley of Hollywood. In Hollywood, the
story of obscurity one day and famethe next is an old, old story.
It's just as much to be expectedas the site of dancing grows pirates,
(01:49):
or Eskimo on the studio Street,or of course lucks Turlet's Open the
Stars dressing room. But to bea real success, you can't be famous
just in Hollywood. It's the restof the country that really gives the star
rating, both to an actor andto a product. Naturally, we value
what Hollywood says about our product,but we think just as much of the
(02:10):
opinion of the housewife in Seattle,the stenographer in Philadelphia, the school teacher
in Dallas, and the sales girlin the mine. Lux toilet soap has
made a hit not just in Hollywoodand New York, but in all the
big and little towns in between.Now I'd like to have you meet Merton
of the movies. Merton is playedby Mickey Rooney and Phyllis by Judy Garland.
(02:32):
Here's the curtain for the first datyou swine you most your attentions on
miss Brothweight. Will you will takethat? And that and that? And
(02:57):
don't be alarmed, ladies and gentlemen. The blood curdling battle which duck just
took place was bought by a younggrocery clerk named Merton Gill and a clothing
star dummy for the dummy coming offsecond best. Merton often engages in these
mouths, usually in the back roomof the Simsbury General Star. There on
the star's time, Merton indulges inhis favorite fancy, pretending that he's a
(03:22):
motion picture star. Yes, Mertonis definitely movie struck. Now in the
storeroom, he stands over his fallenpoe, the dummy. Well, have
you had enough? Ha ha haha ha I thought so. Now get
on your feet and don't ever showyour face around here again. Go on
death. Wow, miss rough Weight, I guess we've seen the last of
(03:44):
smiling Jack for a while. Andnow miss Roughweight, ma'am Herton, if
you walk and see your way,Clark of marrying up with me? Why
I wouldn't. Oh, yes,yes, mister Gosha. How times do
I have to call you? Whatare you doing back in the storeroom?
Why not, mister gosh? Justdid you stack up those cans that came
in this morning? Like I toldyou, sir, get a move on,
(04:04):
Yes, sir, say what's thatdummy doing on the floor? Oh
that, I'll pick it up rightnow together. How did you get there
in the first place? Well,I was just you see, I mind
might get after those cans, andthen I got a few deliveries for you,
Yes, sir, oh say merchant, Yes, sir. I want
to ask you a question. Wasthat you down in the meadow this morning
(04:26):
in the matter? Why, yes, sir? With the horse again?
Yes, sir, I was justhitching her up. Now, listen,
Merton, that old mare ain't beenhitched up since we got the delivery truck.
What were you doing down there?Well, I just wanted to see
if she was still all right atsix o'clock in the morning. Merton,
I don't know, as I understandyou lately, you've been acting mighty queer.
(04:49):
I'm just the same. No,you ain't and I know what it
is too. It's them moving pictures. If you stay away from that Bite
Joe theater and pay a little moreattention to your worker around here, you'll
be a lot better off. Yes, sir, Yes, sir, yes,
sir, that's what you said thelast time. When I'm telling you
for the last time, you gonnamove on to start looking for another job.
(05:11):
Now, set up those hands andmake those deliveries. But why not
burn? Why can't, sir?Come tonight? All the old gang will
be there. Luck, Elmer,I gotta make this delivery. Excuse me,
will you? But you never comearound anymore. Gee, I should
think you'd want some relaxation or something. Well, I'll put it to you
(05:32):
frankly, Elmer, I ain't gottime to run around with the crowd.
I've got other interests. What otherinterests? Well, I have them,
that's all. Hey, you're notin love with some girl, are you?
Don't be ridiculous. I got notime for women. Okay, okay,
don't get sour. Look, Elmer, I guess I have been acting
sort of funny. I'll say,Do you think that them slappy or something?
(05:57):
No? No, I don't,No matter what people say, well,
what do you mean? What dothey say about things should do?
Look? You can trust me,Merton. Tell me, were you in
the pasture this morning talking to ahorse? What horse? Dashwiler's horse.
Charlie Harper said he saw you withyour arms around her neck? What would
(06:18):
I be talking to a horse for? Of course I can understand. I
mean, if you were lonesome orsome could a horse keep me cumpany if
I was lonesome? Could any solong? Elmer? See around, Gotta
make this delivery and get back tothe store. Then you won't come a
wrong tonight. I can't. I'mbusy, Okay, Hello, Hello,
Test, grocery, bring him in. Look, Murdy came for you.
(06:41):
What this less number six from theHofford School of acting. Oh, let's
see. Oh gee, thanks Test. I think it's wonderful, Merton.
You're taking leshings like this for themale. It shows real ambition. It's
wonderful of you to let him mailhim here. And mister Gashwaller saw me
getting the stuff, he'd fire me. Hey, hey, look at this.
The facial expressions anger, no,who oh, I'll work on this
(07:06):
tonight. Oh here here's something else, mister Harris. The photographer asked me
to give them to you. Oh, yes, you know what they are
and their pictures, aren't they?Yes? Still to me in different characters.
You want to see them? Oh, I love there there you are.
That's me in a western outfit,taken down in a meadow with a
horse. Oh that's good, likeGeenautrey. It's almost the same costume,
(07:30):
but the horse is sort of well, what do you expect from goy Shchweiler's
mayor? Here? Here look atthis one, Oh Merton, you look
wonderful an evening clothes. That's societyman type. But here's the one I
like best of all. Here?Look who is it? Why? You?
But sure it's me? But Imean who does it look like?
(07:53):
Oh? Well let me see now, don't don't. Don't you get it
yet? Of course there's not aperfect resemblance or anything like. Wait,
I've got it, oh Charles Boyehuh? Oh no, I wasn't thinking
of boy yay, I meant theright. Do you really think so?
Should I do? Of course itisn't perfect. But look just put your
(08:15):
finger over the eyes and nose andand kind of look at it sideways.
See ah, boyea, huh maybeso, Maybe so, because he's a
lot bigger boy. Yeah. Gee, he's a swell actor. Thinking of
the guest by Nick. Couldn't hemoves dangerous? You even how they were?
(08:37):
Oh? Mart yeah him, don'tbe a fad of me you're getting
Oh, oh, Martin, that'swonderful. Huh Oh, it's just a
little thing I've been working on downat the store. Is that murden you?
Yes? Mother, I'm telling youthis godfather. He wants to know
(09:01):
what the rest of the delivery?All you better go? Are you going
to the BJ tonight? No?I can't. I got to rehearse a
couple of scenes I got in mine. Harvey Carla is there in a western.
He's got a swell interview and camelonthis week. I was just reading
it. Look let me see.I like this part here. See hard
work and the constant striving toward anideal is the key to success. No
(09:22):
below that about his wife? Hiswife? Oh yeah, down here,
she not only is my best palbut also my severest critical. Isn't that
a wonderful tribute? Yeah, successhasn't gone to his head, and I
won't go to mine either. Hardwork and the constant striving toward an ideal
(09:43):
test. That's wonderful. What aboutthe delivery, yes, ma'am, Yes,
ma'am, I was just leaving youswine. You cur take that and
that and that. No, myblight white mom. What do you think
(10:09):
you're doing in here? Mister stood? Enough of this? Who are you
talking to? Oh? Why nobody? That's what I thought every time I
come by. You don't tell meit's all over the floor. Mister Goshwaller.
I'm not doing any harm. Howdo I know what you're doing?
I decam working. If your focusin the life, you'd certainly be a
trial to him. I'm just studyingthat song study. You're studying what well?
(10:33):
I may as well tell you I'mstudying acting, acting, yes,
sir, from the Hofburg School ofActing. He see. Let me tell
you this, young man, Idon't want any more studying. Why are
you working for me? You don'tmean that, do you, mister Gashwaller?
I certainly do. All right,then I'll leave you what Ali,
(10:54):
I'm going out to Hollywood, toHollywood, yes sir, to be an
actor, yes, sir, andI'll succeed too. Hate likely A boy
from Simsbury, Lincoln walked four milesfor a book. Yes, but you
ain't studying for president? All right, Merton. If that's what you want
to do, then I'll just goahead and get somebody else. You got
(11:16):
much money, two hundred and seventydollars. I hope you make a big
success of it, Merton. Goodnight, Good night, mister Goshwaller.
I'm sorry about those dummies. That'sall right. You didn't hurt him none.
I can't make you out, Merton. You're a nice boy, one
of the nicest I ever knew.But I guess you're just crazy. Well,
(11:43):
goodbye, miss Roughwait, ma'am,someday we shall meet again. Oh,
good evening, young lady. What'sthat you ask me to tell the
readers of your magazine? To whatall my success? Hard work, young
lady, hard work, on theconstant driving toward an ideal. Perhaps I
owe most, however, to mywife. She has more than a wife.
(12:03):
She is my best pal, andI may say, my severest credit
across the plains to the Blue Pacificriding list. I hope. So we're
getting a boy, get after hi, boy, thirty miles. When I
(12:24):
get up, boy, make upyour boss. Naza or is you fixing
the golden rest of the way byhawse bag? Huh oh oh, I'm
sorry, folks, no casting thename bagging Tom, No casting today?
Oh casting? Sorry? Do youneed your name? Name? Maybe your
name? Just leave your name?Oh casting today? Maybe your name o
(12:46):
casting? Okay, oh casting,leave your name now. I'm sorry,
folks, but there's no use weddingaround. We're not using anybody or prior.
Might as well all go home.I'm sorry, mister mac. Can
I talk to you just a minute? You back again? All I want
is a chance I can do almostanything you want. You heard what I
(13:07):
said. We're not using any extrasno Friday, but I don't want to
be an extra. I connect,I can do it. I know,
I know. Man, there's tenthousand other guys are gonna act too.
Say if we let everybody act youwanted to act, there wouldn't be anybody
left for an audience. I'll seeme Friday. Oh hello, fellows,
anything new on that bit? Iwas just going to check. You want
to sit around? Yes? Thanks? Well, how's it going fair?
(13:28):
I could have had a job atBig Art this morning, but I turned
it down. Get him Nope,with Arab stuff, and I've been hit
by my last camel. They justbed was looking for a girl with a
voice that double a couple of numbers. Would you be interested? Am I
understood in eating? Certainly? Well, I don't see if he's over on
the set, make yourself come,thanks Mac? Whoa whoa? Are?
(13:50):
Are Are you in pictures? Yes? Sometimes? See it must be swelled.
Oh why well? I mean anactor? Have you been in pictures?
Long? Six years old? WhenI played my first part? Yeah?
How'd you get it? They werelooking for a kid with two front
teeth missing? How was it?Oh? Old comedy? Huh? What's
(14:13):
matter with comedy? Well, Idon't care for it myself. I think
it's well making people laugh at JITs. It's degrading to a great art.
What art? Motion pictures? Oh, motion pictures. You're pretty new,
aren't you. You have only beena ton about three weeks. Have you
work yet? No? Not yet. I can't get anybody to look at
these pictures. I got some stillshere, different costumes and all you know.
(14:35):
Would you like to see? Yeah? This one is me and the
horse Western stuff? Uh huh?And this one I like this one the
best? You notice anything about it, not what the picture? You notice
anything? I mean, doesn't itlook like somebody huh, well here just
put your finger over the eyes andnose and they're look at it sideways?
(14:56):
Well, well it helps never mind, I I guess it's not as good
as I thought it was. What'syour name, phillis Wayne? What yours?
Uh, Clifford Armitage? What didyou say, Clifford Armitage, that's
what I thought you said. Ofcourse that's just my stage name. Oh.
I figured it look better in lightsthan Mert and Gill in lights.
(15:20):
There're gonna be a big success,aren't you, I hope. So have
you got any idea what you're upagain? Oh, it's going to be
a struggle for a while, Iknow that. Yeah. Jobs are few
and far between these days. Takethe case of my pop. He's an
old timer in this business. Lastmonth we got a job in a mountain
their picture, but they wouldn't standfor the crape hair, so he had
to go and raise the garden.A garden A beard, Oh, oh,
(15:45):
a beard a garden. Yeah.He spent four whole weeks raising it,
and what happened He got the halfday's work in a revenue or shoots
him dead, so he's out.He spends two more weeks trying to rent
the garden. Nobody will have it, so he shaved it off. He
still's got the ladder on his facewhen he gets a call they want a
beard. Well that's just an ideaof how tough it is sometimes. I
(16:07):
don't see what that's got to dowith me. Couldn't raise a bird anyhow,
You win, brother, miss Body? Okay, very hate men and
women eat being closed? Eight tomorrowmorning stays great, mister Mac. Mister
Mac, is that call for alot? Yes, sir, I just
heard you say that you needed toYou want to work tomorrow? Do I
sure got eat be closed? Yes, sir? Okay, geez, thanks,
(16:30):
do you hear that, Miss Wayne? I'm working tomorrow. I'll say,
mister Mac, should I have mybreakfast before I come? It might
be a good idea. Okay,let's see, it's about eleven am.
Now, that's not long's there's notime at all. I mean if I
go to bed early, way,but that'll make the time pass a lot
more quickly. Is he kidding?Listen? This is no starring pound at
seven fifty cents. Oh that's allright, hard work in the constance,
driving toward an ideal is the keyto success. Thanks a lot, mister
(16:52):
Mac. That kid frightens me.After a brief information, mister de mill
and our stars Mickey Rooney and JudyGarland will bring us back to a merton
(17:15):
of the movies. Well, here'sour young friend Sally, looking sprightlier than
ever. Sally, what brings us? Grab some sparkle, do your eye.
Maybe it's the compliment I got today, mister Ruke, that makes me
feel so good. Huh, Iasked what he said. Certainly it wasn't
he, though it was she.You Now, mister Ruke, when you
get a compliment from the younger generation, that's news. Oh, come,
(17:36):
Sally, What do you mean bythe younger generation? Well, I mean
my little cousin Susie. She's thirteenand critical, especially when it comes to
members of her own family. LestI put my hat on the grouse this
afternoon, I gave my face thatfinal dash of powder. You know,
women, all we do well.Susie was watching me, and when I
finished, she said, you didn'treally need to do that. Cousin Sally,
your skin looked just as beautiful before. Very nice Sally, No,
(18:00):
wonder you felt good? Well,I hope you didn't lose that golden opportunity
to impress on your young relative.What complexion care you use? No,
she knows all about Lux toilet soap, mister Ruick, and how important it
is to give your skin daily activeleather care. She knows the screen stars
always used Lux soap too. She'sright about that, Sally. I suppose
you tell us just why nine outof gen Hollywood stars use Lux soap.
(18:22):
Well, that's easy. It's becauseLux soap has active leather that removes every
trace of dust and dirt and salecosmetics. And because Lux soap is as
pure and mild as a soap canbe. That creamy rich ladder gives skin
the gentle, cherishing care that itneeds. Right, Sally. The owners
of some of the world's loveliest complexionsprove that by saying they wouldn't think of
(18:45):
neglecting their daily active leather facial.Yes, and it's so easy to take
a Lux beauty facial. You justpat the smooth lad lightly in rint with
warm water in a dash of cooland then pat your face dry with a
soft towel. Simple, but itworked. You better do Sally. Lovely
ladies everywhere find gentle luck soap carejust right for their priceless complexions. If
(19:07):
you haven't tried it, why notbegin tomorrow? Take these luck soap facials
every day for thirty days. You'llbe delighted with the flower fraced look they
give your skin. And now I'llproduce mister de Mille, act too of
Merton, of the movies starring MickeyRooney as Merton and Judy Garland as Phyllis.
(19:34):
Hard work and the confidence striving card. An idea with this motto before
him. Merton is struggling along theroad to success, but he's discovered that
the most difficult part of the mottois finding some hard work. His pocketbook's
very thin now, for he's workedjust one day in seven weeks. At
last comes another call for extras,and Merton is on the set, wild
(19:56):
eyed and eager. Hold the kid. Hey, y'all, can I shure
lay a saying about five minutes?All right for shake it up? Well,
no excuse me, mister Waller,well to jumping your stand behind me.
Please. Every time I turn around, you a step all over my
feet. I'm sorry, mister Waller, I'm just trying to learn, you
(20:17):
well, learn to keep out ofthe way, Yes, sir, Hey,
Charlie, where's the guy who's goingto do this bit? I just
called his house, mister Waller.I think he's on his way. You
think he is? What am Irunning here? I guessing game? Holly
Off, must and find out ifhe's waiting over there. Okay, mister
On Hi and Trooper. Oh oh, hold on, miss Wayne, I
didn't know you were on this picture. Four days. That's practically a career
for me. How's it going?Oh? Pretty good. It's been working
(20:41):
well. No, but I've beenmaking a lot of good contacts. Oh.
Sure, I had a chance fora part, but it turned it
down. Why, well, it'sjust one of those comedy things they wanted
me to do. A fall outof a canoe, come up all what
with a fish in my mouth?I told him what I thought of it,
and I walked out. Why didn'tyou take it at least of eating
the fish? Oh, I'm gettingalong. You know, maybe you're making
(21:03):
a mistake. You got a swellface foot for wark. Oh, I
don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.All right, fells you see bad yesterday?
Yeah? Thanks, Charlie. Itlooks like it's all set three weeks.
Maybe more nice work here? Yougot another part, lucky me.
It looks like a good one fora change. Two songs on my own.
Oh gee, that's great, Dolly, what goes? Nothing yet?
Mister, I just can't locate theguy. All right, then I'll shoot
(21:26):
it without him. Any one ofthese kids know anything about acting? Hey,
Hey, that's me, mister Weller. Mister Weller, do you want
an actor? Can you read aline? Yes, sir, I can't
read anything. We'll let me lookat you. You're a little small for
this. Well gee, there area lot of small guys in the world.
Couldn't your fellow in the picture bea small guy? Please, mister
Weller, give me a chance,will you? All right, but don't
try to make a scene out ofthis. Oh, no, one speech,
and I want to do it inone take. Oh yes, so
(21:48):
you you can depend on me?Yo? All set, all sat,
mister Weller. Now here's the gag. I'll you walk down to this table
here, you lean over and youput your hand on Fred's shoulder and you
say, it's all right, Fred. The whole school's be you, and
we're going to stick with you tothe finish. You got it, I'll
walk down and yes, sir,it's all right. For the whole schools
behind you. We're gonna stick withinto the finish. Lowers lowery, yes,
(22:11):
sir, all right, problem Rolling? Why right over there? Watch
my hand for the go ahead?Rowing eighty eight e six? Now go
on. That's all right, Fred, the whole schools behind you. Who
can hold it? Hold it matter? Idio kid, I'm sorry. I'm
(22:34):
from a little nervous mister Road.Don't have to yell that line. Take
it easy, take it easy,yes, sir, let's try it again.
Problem Joe roll? Why watch outfor that chair? Yes, sir,
almost knocked it over that time.Watch out for the chair. Keep
over a little to the left,little eighty eight seven? Go ahead.
(22:56):
It's all right Fred. The wholeschool behind you, and we're gonna stick
with you. And God, Itold you to watch out for that chair.
Why I thought if I'm putting agesture right there, mister Weller,
ask ask you just say the line. That's all I asked. Say the
line. Yes, sir. Oh, come on, come on, pull
(23:18):
yourself together. Let's get working inhere. Call m Joe. Why naturally
now, just as if you weretalking to your friend quietly and naturally quietly,
naturally answirly eighty eight e eight.Let's have it now, It's it's
all right, Bred. The hotschool's behind you, and we're gonna stick
(23:41):
you with this thing to the finishoff. Well, not stick you with
that, stick with you. I'msorry, I was holy, how long
have you been in this business?Well? This is my first part?
Yeah, I thought though, allright, everybody, we'll skip this one
now, break for lunch, onehour. I'm sure I can do it.
(24:03):
I'm just a little nervous. Andcash here Jolly'll give you a slip
and we'll pay you a little bit. But I but I didn't do it.
That's all right. It was myfault. You're just not right for
this part, Charley. Will youplease get hold of that guy. I'm
still trying. Well, I wanthim here at one thirty. Okay,
what, I don't worry about atrooper. This doesn't mean anything. Huh.
(24:26):
Oh. I take lots of wildslike that every time I do a
part. You're not gonna let itget you down, are you? Hi?
I'm not down, of course you'renot. I didn't know what he
meant, that's all. Oh,he doesn't know himself when when a person's
making their first appearance and all,well, I should by the first time
they aimed the camera at me,I thought there was bullets in it.
(24:48):
But still it was my chance.I had to go. I wish you'd
let me done it again. Icould have done it the next time.
Honestly, I know you. Theonly thing is that it's a long time
between chances. Yeah, sometimes youwait for months. How are you fixed
for money? I mean, oh, I'm okay. I could let you.
(25:11):
Oh no, no, well justalone. You could pay it that
no, no thanks, but Idon't need it. I'm okay, all
right. I want a sandwich.No, I'm not hungry. You want
to eat something I couldn't anyway,I'm going home right away, so it
doesn't matter. Well, I bettergo. Look, here's my number.
Will you give me a ring?Sometimes? Sure? Sure, I'd love
to. We'll see a picture maybegreat idea? Sure? Well, so
(25:38):
long, see round? Yeah,yeah, see you around, miss Wayne.
I I could have done it.I could have done it, just
one more chance, that's all.It's all right, friend. The whole
school's behind you. And we're gonnastick with you until I finish. I
(26:07):
think joing today for just need yournumber? Peep you a number? No
casting today? All right, sorry, all right, hey Cooper. Oh
(26:27):
oh hello, I thought that wasjust sitting there. I just drove around
the block again to make sure.Whoa, that's that's very nice of you.
No, really selfish. I justwanted to find out what was the
matter with me. Huh, Well, the last time I saw you,
you were going to give me aling. What happened to that movie date?
Oh? Oh well, I figuredyou were pretty busy. I've been
(26:48):
reading a bunch in the movie column. Don't believe that seven year contract stuff
as an option every six months.I'm still awaken oil. Just the same.
Congratulations. Thanks. Tried to callyou. Yeah, Charlie gave me
a number. They were gonna usea lot of extras, and I thought
you might be interested. Very niceof you. When I call a landlady
said you'd moved. She didn't knowwhere too. Yeah, that's that's right.
(27:12):
I didn't like that place very much. What's your number now? Oh
well, I I haven't got aphone right now. Oh, we'll give
me your address then my address?Well, it's jeez, that's that's funny.
Why I've been living there all thistime and I can't think of it?
(27:33):
Isn't that funny? The scream?Which park? Is it this one?
Huh? Which park? And whatbench? Just in case something comes
up, I'd like to know whereto reach you. Oh you've got the
wrong idea. No you have?You think it's something to be ashamed of.
You had your dinner yet? Well, well I haven't. When I'm
(27:53):
starved, do you like to gosomewhere? No? Thanks, I don't
want to. I mean, well, have you got Yeah, I've got
a dime, so have I Let'sgo to a driving and get a hamburger
and sit and talk. Is thereanything wrong with that? I guess not.
Oh come on, let's go tillhand bike. Isn't that all?
(28:15):
Yeah? Yeah, that's all.That's a twenty one? Then? Oh
yeah, I have a wife.Please, I want right away? Here's
my dime? Not if I paythe tax to No? No, but
I I gee, I hope Ihaven't. What's the matter? What are
you looking for? Well? Ican't playing. It was in this pocket
(28:36):
when I was Oh, oh hereit is the dime? Yeah? Had
me scared? For a minute.Yeah, I guess it would have been
tragic if I'd have had to payfor yours too. You want thanks?
Listen. You were saying something beforeabout Harvey Corliss. Oh yeah, he
huld up the picture almost a weekwith a black eye. A black guy.
Where'd you get it? His wifeto him? Oh no, no,
(29:02):
you must be wrong. I readan article about Carlos once and he
said that his wife was his bestpal and soberrist critic. Oh she's a
critic, all right. She beamedhim with an astray. I don't believe
it. No, okay, you'llbe the only one in town who believes
he ran into that door. Tina, you get so you don't know what
to believe in this town. That'sright. With all the ideals and illusions
(29:25):
in the world. Won't buy youa dinner or find your place to sleep.
You ought to get rid of himfor your own good. This idea
you've got about playing comedy, well, you could get plenty of work maybe
if you don't need If I letsomebody slam me in the face with a
pie, No thanks, that's notmy idea of acting, and I'll be
a good actor. I won't actat all. You said it? What?
I don't know why I bother myhead about you anyway. Any guy
(29:48):
who says that I ask you tobother about me? Did I ask you
for one second to concern yourself withanyone that I was stopping. That's an
old scene. I've played it myself. I'm not playing a scene. You're
always playing a scene. You wantto struggle for your art. You wouldn't
take success the easy way if itwas off to you on a platinum platter.
Brother, you're just pure ham.Do you mind muss way? If
(30:10):
I leave and that proves it?Thank you? Good night, good night.
Look over that trap over here,right, I broke a couple of
things. I'll pay for them withme. That's the bosses worry. See
what I mean? You can't evenmake an exit without getting a laugh.
(30:30):
If there's any damage done to thecar, I'll be glad to pay for
that tool someday. Good night.I know this is a great idea,
mister Baird. This boy is veryfunny, and and that thought you've been
(30:53):
talking about sensible. But he's justright for it, mister bird, He's
a natural comment. Will you stop? I direct pictures? I don't run
a school for would be actors.Now outside, Phylis, I'm busy.
Look, will you do one thingfor me? Please? The ANSWER's gonna
be no. Mister Weller has someshots of him. They printed them by
mistake, around him with the rushes. Will you just take a look at
him? No, but they're funny, ask mister Weller. They saved all
(31:17):
the takes just for laughs around thestudio. What does kid look like?
Well, he thinks he looks likeany one of ten stars, but just
between us, he's got a facelike nobody else in the world. Well,
that's a nice recommendation. It's fine. Tell me something. Do you
like him? Do I like him? You mean personally? Yeah? Personally?
(31:37):
In person? Well, I guessI feel sorry for him. Ah,
same thing. Please, mister badjust look at those takes. What
harm can it do? Please?Will you for me? I was afraid
this would happen. All right,I'll see either. Thanks. Hello,
(32:02):
Hello, Phillis, this is JeffBaird. Listen, have just seen those
takes from down here. I wantto talk to you, Phillis. I
think you've found something. What doyou mean I can't tell him? It's
comedy? Well, the party isslapstick. That's what I want. I
know it is, mister Baird.But if he thinks it's funny, or
if he thinks he's funny, hewon't take the job. This is ridiculous.
(32:23):
Oh look, it's very simple.Just let him be natural, don't
tell him anything. He'll think it'sserious. Is he that dumb? Well,
he just does no pictures. That'sall all right. We'll try it.
Get hold of this screwball and tellhim to be here in the morning.
Well, i'll have to locate himfirst. Can I use your phone?
Go ahead, you got his number? No, I'll have to find
him through the police department. Whatis this? When you finish those pieces?
(32:53):
I got some more for you.Keep, yes, sir, And
then when it comes two o'clock afterlunch, you wait on the confert outside.
Okay, yes, I guess Ibusted another one. Yeah, I
guess you did it. You're notso good for this, you know.
I'm sorry. How long you dothis work? Eh? I never did
it before? You see, I'mreally an actor? Is that so?
(33:17):
You ought to speak to the dishwas on the night sift? He's an
actor too, Hey, what's thematter? You know what me I didn't
do nothing, mister Donovan. No, I want to speak to you,
know, dishwasher? What about?Who are you lost? Angles? Please?
Department? You mean a detective?That's right. What's your name,
buddy? Why it's Clifford Armitage yourname, I said, not your residence?
(33:40):
Come on? Come on? Whatis that? Martin Gill? Merton
Gill. That's it. Let's goMerton, Let's go headquarters. But what
for? Don't ask me, buddy, But listen, I didn't do anything.
I didn't all right, all right, I'm ready, so long neck?
Huh? What's the matter with you? You want to put the bracelet's
(34:01):
on me? Done of them?What for? Well? So I don't
run away. You try it,kid, and you'll beat your ears down.
Come on, I don't understand this, mister Baird. You mean you
want me to work in your picture? I just said so, didn't I?
(34:22):
Mister Baird was looking for a certaintype. I told him about you.
Oh, thank you. I didn'tknow where to find it, so
we had to put the police onit. Well, you certainly went to
a lot of trouble. But misterBaird, haven't you made an awful lot
of comedies? Certainly? I haveI've been making comedy. This one isn't.
This one's real drama. It's aswell story, really look so.
(34:43):
And I'm offering you a pot,a real part, and a real picture.
Take it or leave it. Well, I'd like to take it,
of course, but this is apretty delicate point in my career, mister
Baird. I want to get offon the right foot. You know you'll
take it quick well, as longas I'm going to stop talking, mister
(35:04):
Baird, he'll play the part.All right. We'll draw up a contract
for the picture, with options forfive years. I'll give you one hundred
and fifty dollars a week. Isthat okay? One hundred and oh yeah,
I guess that's satisfactory. Wow,it's a few dollars advance. You
(35:28):
can give it back to me outof your first check. I've gone out
and get yourself some clothes and ahaircut. Yes, sir, be back
hit tomorrow nine o'clock. Yes,sir, thank you, and thank you,
Miss Wayne. I guess I awallthis to you. I've dreamed about
this for years and well now it'shere. That's all right, And mister
Baird, I'm glad you're going tostart making serious things, and I'll give
you my best. I'll give youeverything that's in me. So long,
(35:50):
mister Baird tripped over the chair.So long We pause now for station identification.
(36:12):
This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.In just a moment, mister de
(36:36):
Mill and our stars Mickey Rooney andJudy Garland will bring us Act three of
Merton of the Movies. And nowhere at the microphone is our sound effects
man. He's about to give youa quick impression of a day in the
life of a very busy woman.All right, Charlie, go ahead,
(36:58):
stop jolly of breaking our hearts.But seriously, aren't those sounds familiar to
every woman with a household to runand children to bring up? No wonder,
our busy lady says late in theafternoon, Oh what a day.
Oh but our heroine isn't going tolet a day like that get her down.
No, not for a minute.Let's listen again. I don't know
(37:22):
what I'd do without my luck soapbath. I'll feel good as new in
just a few minutes, by allmight say yes, Women everywhere tell us
they can always depend on a luxtoilet soap bath for a quick pickup when
they need it. They're making thisluxurious bath part of their daily beauty routine.
And here's the important reason why aluck soa bath does more than refresh
(37:45):
and relax you. Lux toilet soap, you see, has active lather.
It carries away perspiration and every traceof the day's dust and dirt. That
rich, creamy lither leaves skin exquisitelyfresh and sweet makes you sure of daintiness.
That means so much to charm.And there's still another reason why your
luck soap bath is a real beautybath. Screen stars say, we love
(38:09):
luck Soap's delicate perfume, the lovelyclinging fragrance it leaves on the skin.
Yes, when you step out ofthis beauty bath, you're not only refreshed,
you're sure of daintiness too. Andit costs so little to enjoy the
daily luxury of a lux soap bath. Luck's toilet soap is very inexpensive,
you know. And because it's hardmilled, you can use every cake right
(38:31):
down to the last thin sliver.Get three cakes of fragrant white lux toilet
soap tomorrow Now, mister de Millereturns to the microphone. Curtain rises on
the third act of Merton of theMovies, and Merton doesn't know it yet,
(38:55):
but he's on the way to becominga very funny actor. Convinced that
the part is serious, he's gettinghis all and Merton's all. It's plenty.
The boys on the set have havestrict orders, not the lab.
But it's a pretty tough assignment,particularly when Merton is laying on the dramatics
in a heavy scene Goodbye, Kwondlin. Maybe it's better this way, at
(39:21):
least it's better for you. Iwant to pass through that door. I'll
pass out of your life forever.Goodbye. Oh that's well, Merton.
But mister barred that the door wassupposed to be open, and turned around
and ran right into it to see, all right, I forget it.
(39:42):
Well, how can you have athing like that in the picture? I
tell you it's all right. Allwe have to do is cut the shot
just before it turned. Oh,then it won't be in the park where
I just hit the door. Andthat's the idea. Now you go and
sit down for a while, Merton. I don't want you to get tired.
O kill could stand little wrist,Hey, mister mad say, mister
bad that you mean, man,what about cutting the end of that scene?
(40:05):
Are you crazy? Leave it in? It's terrific. Yeah, that's
what I figured. Leave everything inand print every take. I can make
up a whole picture out of thiskid's boners. I get it. Say,
we're all set for the club scene. All right, let's take it.
Where's Phillips? You ready? Righthere? Mister come on, I'm
gonna take that number, Joe,move them overbody, mister bad? How's
it going? Oh? Pretty good? Newberry saw the rushers yesterday. He
(40:29):
wants me to build up the kid'spark. He thinks he's great, that's
wonderful. I'm getting a little scared. Why, well, what's gonna happen
when he finds out? He won'tfind out, not till the pictures previewed.
Anyhow, That's good enough for me. I wasn't think about you.
I was thinking about him. I'mafraid he might take it pretty hard.
Listen, He's getting paid, isn'the? And just for a change,
(40:50):
he's eating three meals a day.That ought to be enough for him too.
You ready, Phyllis, Yes,sir, orchestra ready, let's take
it. Lots of applause at theend of this fault. Good luck,
miss Wayne. Oh you don't mindif I watch you? Do you?
Does it make you nervous? Notat all? Really, just why I
want to make sure you know howsome of us are all nerves. Yeah.
(41:12):
Sixty three e seven money, moneyin tuba. Each Marymaid wakes up
with the serenade, honey, ifyou have a co bananas, don't feel
(41:46):
blooping and a little bigger calling youmoney. Don't waste them no time,
me ache, you'll taste them whenyou're awake for breakfast, start dinner time
(42:07):
and boss uppermost any time money,money, or at the very break of
day. The peanut benders on hiswords, a merry twinkle in his eye.
(42:31):
He's got a way that makes youbone through every city town and puts
me lane. You'll hear him singhis plaint of little strain. And this
he goes by, you'll hear himsay, by my tee not healthy,
(42:52):
not very well, pet money pooledby my tea, nots today. Don't
they give me a sign? Lady, don't coach your door. Give me
(43:12):
couldn't ask for any more. Ifyou don't hurry, I'm gone. I
have to watch some snut later on. Money first, better get along,
(43:40):
and mister, I'd like to talkto you for a few minutes. Sure,
(44:01):
it's a down what's on your mind? Well, frankly, I'm a
little worried about the picture, misterBarrett. Yeah, why, well that
part where I comes through the dooron my hands and knees. Aren't you
afraid we might get a laughter?No, I'm not afraid. It doesn't
seem right somehow, of course it'sright. You go outside to fight the
(44:22):
other guy. He knocks you down. What's more natural than crawling back on
your hands and knees. Well,a good stagger back, you know.
A shot of me in the doorway. I've been hurt. There's a gash
on my cheek. I'll stand thereand I must sway and and then I
crumple up like this, I'm bangingoff. I'm a fallen on the floor.
(44:45):
I don't know why. That's corny, corny Merton. You just leave
these things to me, will you. I've been in this business a little
longer than you have. Well,okay, but there's one thing more,
mister, and this is pretty serious. Well, well, in that dramatic
scene with a girl's mother, Ifeel mister Baird White, can I wear
(45:09):
my shoes? But I feel sillystanding there in my bare feet. I've
never seen anything like that before.That that, my boy, is what
is known as touch the bed.Touch. It makes you look smaller.
It's pathos. That's what I want, and that's what you want, isn't
(45:30):
it. Yeah? Sure, butwe've got it, believe me. Okay,
okay, mister bird. I feela lot better now. Tomorrow night,
(45:51):
tomorrow night. It keeps running throughmy head like a drum. It's
a great thing, Premier performance.So do you think I'll be asked to
say something that microphone? It's funny, isn't it. Sitting here with you,
the same place, the same girl, but not the same guy.
Why I couldn't even buy a Hamburgerthen, and now I'm sitting on top
(46:13):
of the world. Oh well,that's Hollywood, isn't it. Uh huh,
Yeah, that's Hollywood. What's thematter? What are you thinking about?
Merton? If tomorrow and I thesethings shouldn't be so good? What
it hurts you very much? Well? I guess it would, Yeah,
(46:38):
I thought so. Well, whatmakes you say that? Soul story?
Are you afraid that? Are youafraid that people won't like them. Oh
no, they're going to like youa lot. Listen, they're laughing at
(46:58):
it. Please, why what arethey laughing about? Mister Bird said that
you don't get excited. Just sitstill a minute? Please, goodbye,
wonder maybe it's better this way,at least it's better for you. I
want to push through that door.I'll fast out of your like forever.
Goodbye. Sit down, sit down. Did you see that he said that
(47:23):
we're gonna cut it out. Ohhe told me that he was. I'm
getting out of here. They're makinga pool out of me. That's what
I am. Come back, Yes, a minute, good morning? The
clip here? Yes, he does, can come in. I think he's
(47:45):
upstairs. Oh dead, thanks alot, don't mention it. Who is
it? Hello? Kid, Myname's Wahlberg. Yeah you want. I
just want to talk to you numberone. Have you got an agent?
No? I have. That's whatI figured. Now, Look, I'd
(48:05):
like to handle you. I'm sorry, I'm not interested in pictures. Not
interested. Have you seen the reviewsthis morning? Listen to what they're saying
about you. I don't want tohear it. Listen. A young man
named Clifford Armity is the funniest newcomerin money a day. And here's another
one. He's good for a laughevery time he comes on the screen,
A low comedy face. If thiswriter ever saw one, Oh kid,
your maid, low comedy thing,I'll never trust another woman as long as
(48:32):
I live. What are you talkingabout? I don't want to talk at
all. No, wait, I'vegot something that's going to interest you.
Is the definite you're gonna stick withBird? It's definite that I'm leaving good.
I can put you over in bigArt tomorrow. What kind of parts
would I have the same as yourhead last night? Comedy? That's your
(48:54):
line, young love, adolescent stuff. I don't want it. Listen,
kid, you stick to comedy.I'm telling you you've got the best low
comedy patient pictures. It's genuine pathos. Frankly, I don't believe you could
ever make the great and a seriousstory. But you've got pathos and acting
plus. Now, what do yousay you want to sign with me?
You'll be working next week in BigArt? Yes or no? I'm sorry.
(49:21):
You don't want to play comedy?You mean you wouldn't come on any
proposition, That's what I mean.Wouldn't five hundred a week interest you?
But no? Six? No?Seven? Eh, you're a pretty tough
(49:42):
hey, aren't you all right?Kid? Sorry? We can't get together?
Yes? Upstairs? Okay, Isee you? All right? If
(50:08):
I go up, don't yourself?Who is it? Phyllis? Hello?
Come on in? Oh? Ithought you could thought well after last night,
(50:28):
I figured you'd be sorry at me? What for? Why should I
be sore at you? It wasa dirty trick. I played Merton,
but it turned off your own goodI wish you could see it that way
for sure, I do. Uhhuh. I'm a lot smarter than I
was yesterday. Comedy is my life. Oh, I've got the greatest little
comedy facing pictures. Didn't you knowthat? I'm a scream every time I
(50:52):
open my mouth. I'm good fora laugh. I've got pathos acting?
Plus why i'd be terrible in theserious story? Did you think I know
that? Do you think that I'mnot dumb? Do you think that?
Please? I had an offer alreadythis morning. They want to pay me
(51:13):
seven hundred and fifty dollars a weekfrom making funny faces. That's funny enough
right there. You can't take thatyour sign with Fair, through with Fairs,
through with Hollywood. I'm going home. That means you're through with me
(51:34):
too. I though, all right, you can walk out on bed than
me, but not pictures. Soyou've got a lotw comedy face. One
of us. They liked you,didn't say. You've got the greatest gift
that was ever given to anybody,making people laugh. And you're not gonna
throw that gift away. You're gonnago and see that picture. I'm gonna
drag you there every night for aweek, and you're gonna stand in the
(51:58):
lobby and watch the people they comeout. They'll be laughing. They won't
be scared and worried for a fewminutes because you've made him forget. That's
what people need now, they needto laugh. I pulled a dirty trick
on you, but I do itagain. I do it tomorrow. If
I thought to make you understand,Oh you said, you fools, please
(52:21):
please don't cry. Please look yousee what I mean? Look at that
face. And I never laughed theheart on my life. Yeah, I
(52:42):
guess so they like you. Thereyou have read and here there isn't it.
Come on, let's go, You'rewell. I almost die laughing,
laugh young your book? You meanit? I got all of that.
Gee, I love to what's thegood word? Right? Got anything for
the column? No? Not asecondary Hello armated? Oh hello Frank?
(53:04):
What's the son? Know it's inthe theater? You and Phillips holding hands?
Oh that's nothing. Well you cansay that we're friends. Yeah,
yeah, that's right, Frank.She's my greatest pal. And I might
also add my severest critic doesn't fallson that fabulous city called Hollywood. And
(53:31):
here we are back in Hollywood.Two fine players, Mickey Rooney and Judy
Garland are turning to our microphone,and before they leave it, I've asked
them to sing a song together.Thank You's uh. This play was a
lot of fun, mister demil.But do you think that things really happened
(53:52):
that way in Hollywood? I don'tknow, Mikey. I've seen a lot
of mighty unbelievable things here in thelast thirty years. Well, how about
a few samples. Well no,Micky, reminiscing is a luxury that only
young fellows like you can afford.Just between us, I remember a small
boy who made such a hidden pictureswith the Derby hat and a big black
(54:12):
cigar that he couldn't get any otherpart. Sounds like an awful tough kid.
Whatever became of him. He finallybroke the jinks by playing Shakespeare and
Andy Hardy. Right now, he'sstanding there beside you, Judy. Oh,
why Mickey smoking cigars at that age? I used to get through four
or five days when I was younger. Well, they were chocolate anyway.
(54:35):
Say what was this place like whenyou first came out here, mister de
Milt from my first studio was rightacross the street, Mickey, Only the
street was a country lane and thestudio was a bard. And over here
on the side of the Lux Radiotheater. Well, Mickey, right where
you're standing now, there used tobe an orange tree. Must be good
soil here, first it grows oranges, then luck soap. Well, if
(54:57):
lock soap did grow on trees wouldbe a lot nice for us girls.
I can't do without it. Butback in those days, girls didn't have
luck self to help keep their complexionsoft and smooth? Did they see?
Pioneering must be awful? You meanway back in in nineteen twelve bls.
That's before luck, so for thosewere pretty rugged times. Look what the
(55:20):
Indians did to my hair? Well, changing the subject, what have you
got on the fire for next week, mister de milk. Next week,
Mickey, one of the screen's mostpopular characters come to the Lux Radio Theater
for the first time. It's thatfast talking girl with a heart of gold,
Mazie. The players adapted from theMetro Golden Mayor picture Mazie was a
(55:42):
lady and the stars were We wouldn'tdare bring you anybody with the same actress
who plays Mazie on the screen andSouthern and co starring with her. We'll
have Blue Airs and Marino Sullivan fromthe picture cast and Henry Stephenson. All
the Mazy fans know what to expect, and I think the rest of you
will become Mazy fans next Monday night. Gee, that sounds far, mister
(56:04):
demil, I want to hear that. Now, Ladies and gentlemen, here's
the song that Making and Judy promisedus. It's how about You from their
new picture Babes on Broadway and thefirst time it's been sung on the air.
When a girl meets born, whyit can be a joy, But
(56:30):
the not they end on will dependon little pleasure they will shame song less.
I like New York in June.How about you? Why like a
(56:55):
gurse when tune? How about you? I love a fireside when a storm
is new. I like the PatoChips, Moonlight motor trips about you.
(57:15):
I'm mad about good books. Youcan't get my fill Franklin Rose Belts,
look skime me through holding hands inthe movie shop. All the lights of
all may not be new, butI like you out. I like Jack
(57:46):
Danny's jokes to a degree. Ilove the common quote that includes me.
I like to no shop on FifthAvenue. You do well. I like
Banana Slip's lates up for at theRitz. Say how about you? I
(58:10):
love to dream of fame. MaybeI'll shine. I'd love to see your
name right beside mine. I cansee we're in harmony. It looks like
we both agree on what to doand like it all. You anus us
(58:47):
a talent like yours that keeps HollywoodYon. Our sponsors the makers of lux
toilet Tope in me and inviting youto be with us again. Next Monday
night, when the Next Radio Theatrepresents an Southern Blue Airs Marinos Sullivan and
Henry Stephenson in Mazie with a lady, the secessor be themill Fame. Good
(59:14):
night to you from holly Wood.We remind you now that the annual Red
Cross Roads Law was going on throughoutthe country. Joined the Red Cross and
helped one thousand and one activities ofthis great organization. Junior, next Monday
night to hear Anne Southern lou Heirs, Marino Sullivan and Henry Stephenson in Mazie
was the lady. Our music wasdirected by Louis Silvers, and your announcer
(59:36):
has been Melville Royd. This isthe Columbia Broadcasting System.
But present Hollywood. The lux RadioTheater brings you Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland
in Martin of the Movies, Ladiesand Gentlemen. You're a producer, mister
(00:22):
Cecil B. DeMille readings from Hollywood, Ladies and Gentlemen. On Monday nights,
after our curtain falls and our starsare going home, the staff usually
hangs around for a while to cutup the show, chick out all the
(00:43):
flaws, and see where we madeour mistakes. One Monday night, a
few weeks ago, I accused theboys of having failed to startle me with
anything lately. They were already forme. They said, let's put Mickey
Rooney and Judy Garland in Merton ofthe Movies. That the startler. It
happened that our two stars had justfinished their picture Babes on Broadway at Metro
(01:06):
Golden Mayer. So here's Mickey,here's Judy, and here's Merton of the
Movies. And I suppose here's anaudience that's wondering what's going to come out
of it all. We'll move over, brother and make room for us.
Nobody knows when youngster is as livelyas please to are concerned. But most
of you will remember that Merton ofthe Movies was a triple hit as a
(01:26):
novel a player at the motion picture. It's the amazing story of what happened
to one movie struck young man whoexchanged the comparative calm of a general store
in the Middle West to the incomparableHurlyburley of Hollywood. In Hollywood, the
story of obscurity one day and famethe next is an old, old story.
It's just as much to be expectedas the site of dancing grows pirates,
(01:49):
or Eskimo on the studio Street,or of course lucks Turlet's Open the
Stars dressing room. But to bea real success, you can't be famous
just in Hollywood. It's the restof the country that really gives the star
rating, both to an actor andto a product. Naturally, we value
what Hollywood says about our product,but we think just as much of the
(02:10):
opinion of the housewife in Seattle,the stenographer in Philadelphia, the school teacher
in Dallas, and the sales girlin the mine. Lux toilet soap has
made a hit not just in Hollywoodand New York, but in all the
big and little towns in between.Now I'd like to have you meet Merton
of the movies. Merton is playedby Mickey Rooney and Phyllis by Judy Garland.
(02:32):
Here's the curtain for the first datyou swine you most your attentions on
miss Brothweight. Will you will takethat? And that and that? And
(02:57):
don't be alarmed, ladies and gentlemen. The blood curdling battle which duck just
took place was bought by a younggrocery clerk named Merton Gill and a clothing
star dummy for the dummy coming offsecond best. Merton often engages in these
mouths, usually in the back roomof the Simsbury General Star. There on
the star's time, Merton indulges inhis favorite fancy, pretending that he's a
(03:22):
motion picture star. Yes, Mertonis definitely movie struck. Now in the
storeroom, he stands over his fallenpoe, the dummy. Well, have
you had enough? Ha ha haha ha I thought so. Now get
on your feet and don't ever showyour face around here again. Go on
death. Wow, miss rough Weight, I guess we've seen the last of
(03:44):
smiling Jack for a while. Andnow miss Roughweight, ma'am Herton, if
you walk and see your way,Clark of marrying up with me? Why
I wouldn't. Oh, yes,yes, mister Gosha. How times do
I have to call you? Whatare you doing back in the storeroom?
Why not, mister gosh? Justdid you stack up those cans that came
in this morning? Like I toldyou, sir, get a move on,
(04:04):
Yes, sir, say what's thatdummy doing on the floor? Oh
that, I'll pick it up rightnow together. How did you get there
in the first place? Well,I was just you see, I mind
might get after those cans, andthen I got a few deliveries for you,
Yes, sir, oh say merchant, Yes, sir. I want
to ask you a question. Wasthat you down in the meadow this morning
(04:26):
in the matter? Why, yes, sir? With the horse again?
Yes, sir, I was justhitching her up. Now, listen,
Merton, that old mare ain't beenhitched up since we got the delivery truck.
What were you doing down there?Well, I just wanted to see
if she was still all right atsix o'clock in the morning. Merton,
I don't know, as I understandyou lately, you've been acting mighty queer.
(04:49):
I'm just the same. No,you ain't and I know what it
is too. It's them moving pictures. If you stay away from that Bite
Joe theater and pay a little moreattention to your worker around here, you'll
be a lot better off. Yes, sir, Yes, sir, yes,
sir, that's what you said thelast time. When I'm telling you
for the last time, you gonnamove on to start looking for another job.
(05:11):
Now, set up those hands andmake those deliveries. But why not
burn? Why can't, sir?Come tonight? All the old gang will
be there. Luck, Elmer,I gotta make this delivery. Excuse me,
will you? But you never comearound anymore. Gee, I should
think you'd want some relaxation or something. Well, I'll put it to you
(05:32):
frankly, Elmer, I ain't gottime to run around with the crowd.
I've got other interests. What otherinterests? Well, I have them,
that's all. Hey, you're notin love with some girl, are you?
Don't be ridiculous. I got notime for women. Okay, okay,
don't get sour. Look, Elmer, I guess I have been acting
sort of funny. I'll say,Do you think that them slappy or something?
(05:57):
No? No, I don't,No matter what people say, well,
what do you mean? What dothey say about things should do?
Look? You can trust me,Merton. Tell me, were you in
the pasture this morning talking to ahorse? What horse? Dashwiler's horse.
Charlie Harper said he saw you withyour arms around her neck? What would
(06:18):
I be talking to a horse for? Of course I can understand. I
mean, if you were lonesome orsome could a horse keep me cumpany if
I was lonesome? Could any solong? Elmer? See around, Gotta
make this delivery and get back tothe store. Then you won't come a
wrong tonight. I can't. I'mbusy, Okay, Hello, Hello,
Test, grocery, bring him in. Look, Murdy came for you.
(06:41):
What this less number six from theHofford School of acting. Oh, let's
see. Oh gee, thanks Test. I think it's wonderful, Merton.
You're taking leshings like this for themale. It shows real ambition. It's
wonderful of you to let him mailhim here. And mister Gashwaller saw me
getting the stuff, he'd fire me. Hey, hey, look at this.
The facial expressions anger, no,who oh, I'll work on this
(07:06):
tonight. Oh here here's something else, mister Harris. The photographer asked me
to give them to you. Oh, yes, you know what they are
and their pictures, aren't they?Yes? Still to me in different characters.
You want to see them? Oh, I love there there you are.
That's me in a western outfit,taken down in a meadow with a
horse. Oh that's good, likeGeenautrey. It's almost the same costume,
(07:30):
but the horse is sort of well, what do you expect from goy Shchweiler's
mayor? Here? Here look atthis one, Oh Merton, you look
wonderful an evening clothes. That's societyman type. But here's the one I
like best of all. Here?Look who is it? Why? You?
But sure it's me? But Imean who does it look like?
(07:53):
Oh? Well let me see now, don't don't. Don't you get it
yet? Of course there's not aperfect resemblance or anything like. Wait,
I've got it, oh Charles Boyehuh? Oh no, I wasn't thinking
of boy yay, I meant theright. Do you really think so?
Should I do? Of course itisn't perfect. But look just put your
(08:15):
finger over the eyes and nose andand kind of look at it sideways.
See ah, boyea, huh maybeso, Maybe so, because he's a
lot bigger boy. Yeah. Gee, he's a swell actor. Thinking of
the guest by Nick. Couldn't hemoves dangerous? You even how they were?
(08:37):
Oh? Mart yeah him, don'tbe a fad of me you're getting
Oh, oh, Martin, that'swonderful. Huh Oh, it's just a
little thing I've been working on downat the store. Is that murden you?
Yes? Mother, I'm telling youthis godfather. He wants to know
(09:01):
what the rest of the delivery?All you better go? Are you going
to the BJ tonight? No?I can't. I got to rehearse a
couple of scenes I got in mine. Harvey Carla is there in a western.
He's got a swell interview and camelonthis week. I was just reading
it. Look let me see.I like this part here. See hard
work and the constant striving toward anideal is the key to success. No
(09:22):
below that about his wife? Hiswife? Oh yeah, down here,
she not only is my best palbut also my severest critical. Isn't that
a wonderful tribute? Yeah, successhasn't gone to his head, and I
won't go to mine either. Hardwork and the constant striving toward an ideal
(09:43):
test. That's wonderful. What aboutthe delivery, yes, ma'am, Yes,
ma'am, I was just leaving youswine. You cur take that and
that and that. No, myblight white mom. What do you think
(10:09):
you're doing in here? Mister stood? Enough of this? Who are you
talking to? Oh? Why nobody? That's what I thought every time I
come by. You don't tell meit's all over the floor. Mister Goshwaller.
I'm not doing any harm. Howdo I know what you're doing?
I decam working. If your focusin the life, you'd certainly be a
trial to him. I'm just studyingthat song study. You're studying what well?
(10:33):
I may as well tell you I'mstudying acting, acting, yes,
sir, from the Hofburg School ofActing. He see. Let me tell
you this, young man, Idon't want any more studying. Why are
you working for me? You don'tmean that, do you, mister Gashwaller?
I certainly do. All right,then I'll leave you what Ali,
(10:54):
I'm going out to Hollywood, toHollywood, yes sir, to be an
actor, yes, sir, andI'll succeed too. Hate likely A boy
from Simsbury, Lincoln walked four milesfor a book. Yes, but you
ain't studying for president? All right, Merton. If that's what you want
to do, then I'll just goahead and get somebody else. You got
(11:16):
much money, two hundred and seventydollars. I hope you make a big
success of it, Merton. Goodnight, Good night, mister Goshwaller.
I'm sorry about those dummies. That'sall right. You didn't hurt him none.
I can't make you out, Merton. You're a nice boy, one
of the nicest I ever knew.But I guess you're just crazy. Well,
(11:43):
goodbye, miss Roughwait, ma'am,someday we shall meet again. Oh,
good evening, young lady. What'sthat you ask me to tell the
readers of your magazine? To whatall my success? Hard work, young
lady, hard work, on theconstant driving toward an ideal. Perhaps I
owe most, however, to mywife. She has more than a wife.
(12:03):
She is my best pal, andI may say, my severest credit
across the plains to the Blue Pacificriding list. I hope. So we're
getting a boy, get after hi, boy, thirty miles. When I
(12:24):
get up, boy, make upyour boss. Naza or is you fixing
the golden rest of the way byhawse bag? Huh oh oh, I'm
sorry, folks, no casting thename bagging Tom, No casting today?
Oh casting? Sorry? Do youneed your name? Name? Maybe your
name? Just leave your name?Oh casting today? Maybe your name o
(12:46):
casting? Okay, oh casting,leave your name now. I'm sorry,
folks, but there's no use weddingaround. We're not using anybody or prior.
Might as well all go home.I'm sorry, mister mac. Can
I talk to you just a minute? You back again? All I want
is a chance I can do almostanything you want. You heard what I
(13:07):
said. We're not using any extrasno Friday, but I don't want to
be an extra. I connect,I can do it. I know,
I know. Man, there's tenthousand other guys are gonna act too.
Say if we let everybody act youwanted to act, there wouldn't be anybody
left for an audience. I'll seeme Friday. Oh hello, fellows,
anything new on that bit? Iwas just going to check. You want
to sit around? Yes? Thanks? Well, how's it going fair?
(13:28):
I could have had a job atBig Art this morning, but I turned
it down. Get him Nope,with Arab stuff, and I've been hit
by my last camel. They justbed was looking for a girl with a
voice that double a couple of numbers. Would you be interested? Am I
understood in eating? Certainly? Well, I don't see if he's over on
the set, make yourself come,thanks Mac? Whoa whoa? Are?
(13:50):
Are Are you in pictures? Yes? Sometimes? See it must be swelled.
Oh why well? I mean anactor? Have you been in pictures?
Long? Six years old? WhenI played my first part? Yeah?
How'd you get it? They werelooking for a kid with two front
teeth missing? How was it?Oh? Old comedy? Huh? What's
(14:13):
matter with comedy? Well, Idon't care for it myself. I think
it's well making people laugh at JITs. It's degrading to a great art.
What art? Motion pictures? Oh, motion pictures. You're pretty new,
aren't you. You have only beena ton about three weeks. Have you
work yet? No? Not yet. I can't get anybody to look at
these pictures. I got some stillshere, different costumes and all you know.
(14:35):
Would you like to see? Yeah? This one is me and the
horse Western stuff? Uh huh?And this one I like this one the
best? You notice anything about it, not what the picture? You notice
anything? I mean, doesn't itlook like somebody huh, well here just
put your finger over the eyes andnose and they're look at it sideways?
(14:56):
Well, well it helps never mind, I I guess it's not as good
as I thought it was. What'syour name, phillis Wayne? What yours?
Uh, Clifford Armitage? What didyou say, Clifford Armitage, that's
what I thought you said. Ofcourse that's just my stage name. Oh.
I figured it look better in lightsthan Mert and Gill in lights.
(15:20):
There're gonna be a big success,aren't you, I hope. So have
you got any idea what you're upagain? Oh, it's going to be
a struggle for a while, Iknow that. Yeah. Jobs are few
and far between these days. Takethe case of my pop. He's an
old timer in this business. Lastmonth we got a job in a mountain
their picture, but they wouldn't standfor the crape hair, so he had
to go and raise the garden.A garden A beard, Oh, oh,
(15:45):
a beard a garden. Yeah.He spent four whole weeks raising it,
and what happened He got the halfday's work in a revenue or shoots
him dead, so he's out.He spends two more weeks trying to rent
the garden. Nobody will have it, so he shaved it off. He
still's got the ladder on his facewhen he gets a call they want a
beard. Well that's just an ideaof how tough it is sometimes. I
(16:07):
don't see what that's got to dowith me. Couldn't raise a bird anyhow,
You win, brother, miss Body? Okay, very hate men and
women eat being closed? Eight tomorrowmorning stays great, mister Mac. Mister
Mac, is that call for alot? Yes, sir, I just
heard you say that you needed toYou want to work tomorrow? Do I
sure got eat be closed? Yes, sir? Okay, geez, thanks,
(16:30):
do you hear that, Miss Wayne? I'm working tomorrow. I'll say,
mister Mac, should I have mybreakfast before I come? It might
be a good idea. Okay,let's see, it's about eleven am.
Now, that's not long's there's notime at all. I mean if I
go to bed early, way,but that'll make the time pass a lot
more quickly. Is he kidding?Listen? This is no starring pound at
seven fifty cents. Oh that's allright, hard work in the constance,
driving toward an ideal is the keyto success. Thanks a lot, mister
(16:52):
Mac. That kid frightens me.After a brief information, mister de mill
and our stars Mickey Rooney and JudyGarland will bring us back to a merton
(17:15):
of the movies. Well, here'sour young friend Sally, looking sprightlier than
ever. Sally, what brings us? Grab some sparkle, do your eye.
Maybe it's the compliment I got today, mister Ruke, that makes me
feel so good. Huh, Iasked what he said. Certainly it wasn't
he, though it was she.You Now, mister Ruke, when you
get a compliment from the younger generation, that's news. Oh, come,
(17:36):
Sally, What do you mean bythe younger generation? Well, I mean
my little cousin Susie. She's thirteenand critical, especially when it comes to
members of her own family. LestI put my hat on the grouse this
afternoon, I gave my face thatfinal dash of powder. You know,
women, all we do well.Susie was watching me, and when I
finished, she said, you didn'treally need to do that. Cousin Sally,
your skin looked just as beautiful before. Very nice Sally, No,
(18:00):
wonder you felt good? Well,I hope you didn't lose that golden opportunity
to impress on your young relative.What complexion care you use? No,
she knows all about Lux toilet soap, mister Ruick, and how important it
is to give your skin daily activeleather care. She knows the screen stars
always used Lux soap too. She'sright about that, Sally. I suppose
you tell us just why nine outof gen Hollywood stars use Lux soap.
(18:22):
Well, that's easy. It's becauseLux soap has active leather that removes every
trace of dust and dirt and salecosmetics. And because Lux soap is as
pure and mild as a soap canbe. That creamy rich ladder gives skin
the gentle, cherishing care that itneeds. Right, Sally. The owners
of some of the world's loveliest complexionsprove that by saying they wouldn't think of
(18:45):
neglecting their daily active leather facial.Yes, and it's so easy to take
a Lux beauty facial. You justpat the smooth lad lightly in rint with
warm water in a dash of cooland then pat your face dry with a
soft towel. Simple, but itworked. You better do Sally. Lovely
ladies everywhere find gentle luck soap carejust right for their priceless complexions. If
(19:07):
you haven't tried it, why notbegin tomorrow? Take these luck soap facials
every day for thirty days. You'llbe delighted with the flower fraced look they
give your skin. And now I'llproduce mister de Mille, act too of
Merton, of the movies starring MickeyRooney as Merton and Judy Garland as Phyllis.
(19:34):
Hard work and the confidence striving card. An idea with this motto before
him. Merton is struggling along theroad to success, but he's discovered that
the most difficult part of the mottois finding some hard work. His pocketbook's
very thin now, for he's workedjust one day in seven weeks. At
last comes another call for extras,and Merton is on the set, wild
(19:56):
eyed and eager. Hold the kid. Hey, y'all, can I shure
lay a saying about five minutes?All right for shake it up? Well,
no excuse me, mister Waller,well to jumping your stand behind me.
Please. Every time I turn around, you a step all over my
feet. I'm sorry, mister Waller, I'm just trying to learn, you
(20:17):
well, learn to keep out ofthe way, Yes, sir, Hey,
Charlie, where's the guy who's goingto do this bit? I just
called his house, mister Waller.I think he's on his way. You
think he is? What am Irunning here? I guessing game? Holly
Off, must and find out ifhe's waiting over there. Okay, mister
On Hi and Trooper. Oh oh, hold on, miss Wayne, I
didn't know you were on this picture. Four days. That's practically a career
for me. How's it going?Oh? Pretty good. It's been working
(20:41):
well. No, but I've beenmaking a lot of good contacts. Oh.
Sure, I had a chance fora part, but it turned it
down. Why, well, it'sjust one of those comedy things they wanted
me to do. A fall outof a canoe, come up all what
with a fish in my mouth?I told him what I thought of it,
and I walked out. Why didn'tyou take it at least of eating
the fish? Oh, I'm gettingalong. You know, maybe you're making
(21:03):
a mistake. You got a swellface foot for wark. Oh, I
don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.All right, fells you see bad yesterday?
Yeah? Thanks, Charlie. Itlooks like it's all set three weeks.
Maybe more nice work here? Yougot another part, lucky me.
It looks like a good one fora change. Two songs on my own.
Oh gee, that's great, Dolly, what goes? Nothing yet?
Mister, I just can't locate theguy. All right, then I'll shoot
(21:26):
it without him. Any one ofthese kids know anything about acting? Hey,
Hey, that's me, mister Weller. Mister Weller, do you want
an actor? Can you read aline? Yes, sir, I can't
read anything. We'll let me lookat you. You're a little small for
this. Well gee, there area lot of small guys in the world.
Couldn't your fellow in the picture bea small guy? Please, mister
Weller, give me a chance,will you? All right, but don't
try to make a scene out ofthis. Oh, no, one speech,
and I want to do it inone take. Oh yes, so
(21:48):
you you can depend on me?Yo? All set, all sat,
mister Weller. Now here's the gag. I'll you walk down to this table
here, you lean over and youput your hand on Fred's shoulder and you
say, it's all right, Fred. The whole school's be you, and
we're going to stick with you tothe finish. You got it, I'll
walk down and yes, sir,it's all right. For the whole schools
behind you. We're gonna stick withinto the finish. Lowers lowery, yes,
(22:11):
sir, all right, problem Rolling? Why right over there? Watch
my hand for the go ahead?Rowing eighty eight e six? Now go
on. That's all right, Fred, the whole schools behind you. Who
can hold it? Hold it matter? Idio kid, I'm sorry. I'm
(22:34):
from a little nervous mister Road.Don't have to yell that line. Take
it easy, take it easy,yes, sir, let's try it again.
Problem Joe roll? Why watch outfor that chair? Yes, sir,
almost knocked it over that time.Watch out for the chair. Keep
over a little to the left,little eighty eight seven? Go ahead.
(22:56):
It's all right Fred. The wholeschool behind you, and we're gonna stick
with you. And God, Itold you to watch out for that chair.
Why I thought if I'm putting agesture right there, mister Weller,
ask ask you just say the line. That's all I asked. Say the
line. Yes, sir. Oh, come on, come on, pull
(23:18):
yourself together. Let's get working inhere. Call m Joe. Why naturally
now, just as if you weretalking to your friend quietly and naturally quietly,
naturally answirly eighty eight e eight.Let's have it now, It's it's
all right, Bred. The hotschool's behind you, and we're gonna stick
(23:41):
you with this thing to the finishoff. Well, not stick you with
that, stick with you. I'msorry, I was holy, how long
have you been in this business?Well? This is my first part?
Yeah, I thought though, allright, everybody, we'll skip this one
now, break for lunch, onehour. I'm sure I can do it.
(24:03):
I'm just a little nervous. Andcash here Jolly'll give you a slip
and we'll pay you a little bit. But I but I didn't do it.
That's all right. It was myfault. You're just not right for
this part, Charley. Will youplease get hold of that guy. I'm
still trying. Well, I wanthim here at one thirty. Okay,
what, I don't worry about atrooper. This doesn't mean anything. Huh.
(24:26):
Oh. I take lots of wildslike that every time I do a
part. You're not gonna let itget you down, are you? Hi?
I'm not down, of course you'renot. I didn't know what he
meant, that's all. Oh,he doesn't know himself when when a person's
making their first appearance and all,well, I should by the first time
they aimed the camera at me,I thought there was bullets in it.
(24:48):
But still it was my chance.I had to go. I wish you'd
let me done it again. Icould have done it the next time.
Honestly, I know you. Theonly thing is that it's a long time
between chances. Yeah, sometimes youwait for months. How are you fixed
for money? I mean, oh, I'm okay. I could let you.
(25:11):
Oh no, no, well justalone. You could pay it that
no, no thanks, but Idon't need it. I'm okay, all
right. I want a sandwich.No, I'm not hungry. You want
to eat something I couldn't anyway,I'm going home right away, so it
doesn't matter. Well, I bettergo. Look, here's my number.
Will you give me a ring?Sometimes? Sure? Sure, I'd love
to. We'll see a picture maybegreat idea? Sure? Well, so
(25:38):
long, see round? Yeah,yeah, see you around, miss Wayne.
I I could have done it.I could have done it, just
one more chance, that's all.It's all right, friend. The whole
school's behind you. And we're gonnastick with you until I finish. I
(26:07):
think joing today for just need yournumber? Peep you a number? No
casting today? All right, sorry, all right, hey Cooper. Oh
(26:27):
oh hello, I thought that wasjust sitting there. I just drove around
the block again to make sure.Whoa, that's that's very nice of you.
No, really selfish. I justwanted to find out what was the
matter with me. Huh, Well, the last time I saw you,
you were going to give me aling. What happened to that movie date?
Oh? Oh well, I figuredyou were pretty busy. I've been
(26:48):
reading a bunch in the movie column. Don't believe that seven year contract stuff
as an option every six months.I'm still awaken oil. Just the same.
Congratulations. Thanks. Tried to callyou. Yeah, Charlie gave me
a number. They were gonna usea lot of extras, and I thought
you might be interested. Very niceof you. When I call a landlady
said you'd moved. She didn't knowwhere too. Yeah, that's that's right.
(27:12):
I didn't like that place very much. What's your number now? Oh
well, I I haven't got aphone right now. Oh, we'll give
me your address then my address?Well, it's jeez, that's that's funny.
Why I've been living there all thistime and I can't think of it?
(27:33):
Isn't that funny? The scream?Which park? Is it this one?
Huh? Which park? And whatbench? Just in case something comes
up, I'd like to know whereto reach you. Oh you've got the
wrong idea. No you have?You think it's something to be ashamed of.
You had your dinner yet? Well, well I haven't. When I'm
(27:53):
starved, do you like to gosomewhere? No? Thanks, I don't
want to. I mean, well, have you got Yeah, I've got
a dime, so have I Let'sgo to a driving and get a hamburger
and sit and talk. Is thereanything wrong with that? I guess not.
Oh come on, let's go tillhand bike. Isn't that all?
(28:15):
Yeah? Yeah, that's all.That's a twenty one? Then? Oh
yeah, I have a wife.Please, I want right away? Here's
my dime? Not if I paythe tax to No? No, but
I I gee, I hope Ihaven't. What's the matter? What are
you looking for? Well? Ican't playing. It was in this pocket
(28:36):
when I was Oh, oh hereit is the dime? Yeah? Had
me scared? For a minute.Yeah, I guess it would have been
tragic if I'd have had to payfor yours too. You want thanks?
Listen. You were saying something beforeabout Harvey Corliss. Oh yeah, he
huld up the picture almost a weekwith a black eye. A black guy.
Where'd you get it? His wifeto him? Oh no, no,
(29:02):
you must be wrong. I readan article about Carlos once and he
said that his wife was his bestpal and soberrist critic. Oh she's a
critic, all right. She beamedhim with an astray. I don't believe
it. No, okay, you'llbe the only one in town who believes
he ran into that door. Tina, you get so you don't know what
to believe in this town. That'sright. With all the ideals and illusions
(29:25):
in the world. Won't buy youa dinner or find your place to sleep.
You ought to get rid of himfor your own good. This idea
you've got about playing comedy, well, you could get plenty of work maybe
if you don't need If I letsomebody slam me in the face with a
pie, No thanks, that's notmy idea of acting, and I'll be
a good actor. I won't actat all. You said it? What?
I don't know why I bother myhead about you anyway. Any guy
(29:48):
who says that I ask you tobother about me? Did I ask you
for one second to concern yourself withanyone that I was stopping. That's an
old scene. I've played it myself. I'm not playing a scene. You're
always playing a scene. You wantto struggle for your art. You wouldn't
take success the easy way if itwas off to you on a platinum platter.
Brother, you're just pure ham.Do you mind muss way? If
(30:10):
I leave and that proves it?Thank you? Good night, good night.
Look over that trap over here,right, I broke a couple of
things. I'll pay for them withme. That's the bosses worry. See
what I mean? You can't evenmake an exit without getting a laugh.
(30:30):
If there's any damage done to thecar, I'll be glad to pay for
that tool someday. Good night.I know this is a great idea,
mister Baird. This boy is veryfunny, and and that thought you've been
(30:53):
talking about sensible. But he's justright for it, mister bird, He's
a natural comment. Will you stop? I direct pictures? I don't run
a school for would be actors.Now outside, Phylis, I'm busy.
Look, will you do one thingfor me? Please? The ANSWER's gonna
be no. Mister Weller has someshots of him. They printed them by
mistake, around him with the rushes. Will you just take a look at
him? No, but they're funny, ask mister Weller. They saved all
(31:17):
the takes just for laughs around thestudio. What does kid look like?
Well, he thinks he looks likeany one of ten stars, but just
between us, he's got a facelike nobody else in the world. Well,
that's a nice recommendation. It's fine. Tell me something. Do you
like him? Do I like him? You mean personally? Yeah? Personally?
(31:37):
In person? Well, I guessI feel sorry for him. Ah,
same thing. Please, mister badjust look at those takes. What
harm can it do? Please?Will you for me? I was afraid
this would happen. All right,I'll see either. Thanks. Hello,
(32:02):
Hello, Phillis, this is JeffBaird. Listen, have just seen those
takes from down here. I wantto talk to you, Phillis. I
think you've found something. What doyou mean I can't tell him? It's
comedy? Well, the party isslapstick. That's what I want. I
know it is, mister Baird.But if he thinks it's funny, or
if he thinks he's funny, hewon't take the job. This is ridiculous.
(32:23):
Oh look, it's very simple.Just let him be natural, don't
tell him anything. He'll think it'sserious. Is he that dumb? Well,
he just does no pictures. That'sall all right. We'll try it.
Get hold of this screwball and tellhim to be here in the morning.
Well, i'll have to locate himfirst. Can I use your phone?
Go ahead, you got his number? No, I'll have to find
him through the police department. Whatis this? When you finish those pieces?
(32:53):
I got some more for you.Keep, yes, sir, And
then when it comes two o'clock afterlunch, you wait on the confert outside.
Okay, yes, I guess Ibusted another one. Yeah, I
guess you did it. You're notso good for this, you know.
I'm sorry. How long you dothis work? Eh? I never did
it before? You see, I'mreally an actor? Is that so?
(33:17):
You ought to speak to the dishwas on the night sift? He's an
actor too, Hey, what's thematter? You know what me I didn't
do nothing, mister Donovan. No, I want to speak to you,
know, dishwasher? What about?Who are you lost? Angles? Please?
Department? You mean a detective?That's right. What's your name,
buddy? Why it's Clifford Armitage yourname, I said, not your residence?
(33:40):
Come on? Come on? Whatis that? Martin Gill? Merton
Gill. That's it. Let's goMerton, Let's go headquarters. But what
for? Don't ask me, buddy, But listen, I didn't do anything.
I didn't all right, all right, I'm ready, so long neck?
Huh? What's the matter with you? You want to put the bracelet's
(34:01):
on me? Done of them?What for? Well? So I don't
run away. You try it,kid, and you'll beat your ears down.
Come on, I don't understand this, mister Baird. You mean you
want me to work in your picture? I just said so, didn't I?
(34:22):
Mister Baird was looking for a certaintype. I told him about you.
Oh, thank you. I didn'tknow where to find it, so
we had to put the police onit. Well, you certainly went to
a lot of trouble. But misterBaird, haven't you made an awful lot
of comedies? Certainly? I haveI've been making comedy. This one isn't.
This one's real drama. It's aswell story, really look so.
(34:43):
And I'm offering you a pot,a real part, and a real picture.
Take it or leave it. Well, I'd like to take it,
of course, but this is apretty delicate point in my career, mister
Baird. I want to get offon the right foot. You know you'll
take it quick well, as longas I'm going to stop talking, mister
(35:04):
Baird, he'll play the part.All right. We'll draw up a contract
for the picture, with options forfive years. I'll give you one hundred
and fifty dollars a week. Isthat okay? One hundred and oh yeah,
I guess that's satisfactory. Wow,it's a few dollars advance. You
(35:28):
can give it back to me outof your first check. I've gone out
and get yourself some clothes and ahaircut. Yes, sir, be back
hit tomorrow nine o'clock. Yes,sir, thank you, and thank you,
Miss Wayne. I guess I awallthis to you. I've dreamed about
this for years and well now it'shere. That's all right, And mister
Baird, I'm glad you're going tostart making serious things, and I'll give
you my best. I'll give youeverything that's in me. So long,
(35:50):
mister Baird tripped over the chair.So long We pause now for station identification.
(36:12):
This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.In just a moment, mister de
(36:36):
Mill and our stars Mickey Rooney andJudy Garland will bring us Act three of
Merton of the Movies. And nowhere at the microphone is our sound effects
man. He's about to give youa quick impression of a day in the
life of a very busy woman.All right, Charlie, go ahead,
(36:58):
stop jolly of breaking our hearts.But seriously, aren't those sounds familiar to
every woman with a household to runand children to bring up? No wonder,
our busy lady says late in theafternoon, Oh what a day.
Oh but our heroine isn't going tolet a day like that get her down.
No, not for a minute.Let's listen again. I don't know
(37:22):
what I'd do without my luck soapbath. I'll feel good as new in
just a few minutes, by allmight say yes, Women everywhere tell us
they can always depend on a luxtoilet soap bath for a quick pickup when
they need it. They're making thisluxurious bath part of their daily beauty routine.
And here's the important reason why aluck soa bath does more than refresh
(37:45):
and relax you. Lux toilet soap, you see, has active lather.
It carries away perspiration and every traceof the day's dust and dirt. That
rich, creamy lither leaves skin exquisitelyfresh and sweet makes you sure of daintiness.
That means so much to charm.And there's still another reason why your
luck soap bath is a real beautybath. Screen stars say, we love
(38:09):
luck Soap's delicate perfume, the lovelyclinging fragrance it leaves on the skin.
Yes, when you step out ofthis beauty bath, you're not only refreshed,
you're sure of daintiness too. Andit costs so little to enjoy the
daily luxury of a lux soap bath. Luck's toilet soap is very inexpensive,
you know. And because it's hardmilled, you can use every cake right
(38:31):
down to the last thin sliver.Get three cakes of fragrant white lux toilet
soap tomorrow Now, mister de Millereturns to the microphone. Curtain rises on
the third act of Merton of theMovies, and Merton doesn't know it yet,
(38:55):
but he's on the way to becominga very funny actor. Convinced that
the part is serious, he's gettinghis all and Merton's all. It's plenty.
The boys on the set have havestrict orders, not the lab.
But it's a pretty tough assignment,particularly when Merton is laying on the dramatics
in a heavy scene Goodbye, Kwondlin. Maybe it's better this way, at
(39:21):
least it's better for you. Iwant to pass through that door. I'll
pass out of your life forever.Goodbye. Oh that's well, Merton.
But mister barred that the door wassupposed to be open, and turned around
and ran right into it to see, all right, I forget it.
(39:42):
Well, how can you have athing like that in the picture? I
tell you it's all right. Allwe have to do is cut the shot
just before it turned. Oh,then it won't be in the park where
I just hit the door. Andthat's the idea. Now you go and
sit down for a while, Merton. I don't want you to get tired.
O kill could stand little wrist,Hey, mister mad say, mister
bad that you mean, man,what about cutting the end of that scene?
(40:05):
Are you crazy? Leave it in? It's terrific. Yeah, that's
what I figured. Leave everything inand print every take. I can make
up a whole picture out of thiskid's boners. I get it. Say,
we're all set for the club scene. All right, let's take it.
Where's Phillips? You ready? Righthere? Mister come on, I'm
gonna take that number, Joe,move them overbody, mister bad? How's
it going? Oh? Pretty good? Newberry saw the rushers yesterday. He
(40:29):
wants me to build up the kid'spark. He thinks he's great, that's
wonderful. I'm getting a little scared. Why, well, what's gonna happen
when he finds out? He won'tfind out, not till the pictures previewed.
Anyhow, That's good enough for me. I wasn't think about you.
I was thinking about him. I'mafraid he might take it pretty hard.
Listen, He's getting paid, isn'the? And just for a change,
(40:50):
he's eating three meals a day.That ought to be enough for him too.
You ready, Phyllis, Yes,sir, orchestra ready, let's take
it. Lots of applause at theend of this fault. Good luck,
miss Wayne. Oh you don't mindif I watch you? Do you?
Does it make you nervous? Notat all? Really, just why I
want to make sure you know howsome of us are all nerves. Yeah.
(41:12):
Sixty three e seven money, moneyin tuba. Each Marymaid wakes up
with the serenade, honey, ifyou have a co bananas, don't feel
(41:46):
blooping and a little bigger calling youmoney. Don't waste them no time,
me ache, you'll taste them whenyou're awake for breakfast, start dinner time
(42:07):
and boss uppermost any time money,money, or at the very break of
day. The peanut benders on hiswords, a merry twinkle in his eye.
(42:31):
He's got a way that makes youbone through every city town and puts
me lane. You'll hear him singhis plaint of little strain. And this
he goes by, you'll hear himsay, by my tee not healthy,
(42:52):
not very well, pet money pooledby my tea, nots today. Don't
they give me a sign? Lady, don't coach your door. Give me
(43:12):
couldn't ask for any more. Ifyou don't hurry, I'm gone. I
have to watch some snut later on. Money first, better get along,
(43:40):
and mister, I'd like to talkto you for a few minutes. Sure,
(44:01):
it's a down what's on your mind? Well, frankly, I'm a
little worried about the picture, misterBarrett. Yeah, why, well that
part where I comes through the dooron my hands and knees. Aren't you
afraid we might get a laughter?No, I'm not afraid. It doesn't
seem right somehow, of course it'sright. You go outside to fight the
(44:22):
other guy. He knocks you down. What's more natural than crawling back on
your hands and knees. Well,a good stagger back, you know.
A shot of me in the doorway. I've been hurt. There's a gash
on my cheek. I'll stand thereand I must sway and and then I
crumple up like this, I'm bangingoff. I'm a fallen on the floor.
(44:45):
I don't know why. That's corny, corny Merton. You just leave
these things to me, will you. I've been in this business a little
longer than you have. Well,okay, but there's one thing more,
mister, and this is pretty serious. Well, well, in that dramatic
scene with a girl's mother, Ifeel mister Baird White, can I wear
(45:09):
my shoes? But I feel sillystanding there in my bare feet. I've
never seen anything like that before.That that, my boy, is what
is known as touch the bed.Touch. It makes you look smaller.
It's pathos. That's what I want, and that's what you want, isn't
(45:30):
it. Yeah? Sure, butwe've got it, believe me. Okay,
okay, mister bird. I feela lot better now. Tomorrow night,
(45:51):
tomorrow night. It keeps running throughmy head like a drum. It's
a great thing, Premier performance.So do you think I'll be asked to
say something that microphone? It's funny, isn't it. Sitting here with you,
the same place, the same girl, but not the same guy.
Why I couldn't even buy a Hamburgerthen, and now I'm sitting on top
(46:13):
of the world. Oh well,that's Hollywood, isn't it. Uh huh,
Yeah, that's Hollywood. What's thematter? What are you thinking about?
Merton? If tomorrow and I thesethings shouldn't be so good? What
it hurts you very much? Well? I guess it would, Yeah,
(46:38):
I thought so. Well, whatmakes you say that? Soul story?
Are you afraid that? Are youafraid that people won't like them. Oh
no, they're going to like youa lot. Listen, they're laughing at
(46:58):
it. Please, why what arethey laughing about? Mister Bird said that
you don't get excited. Just sitstill a minute? Please, goodbye,
wonder maybe it's better this way,at least it's better for you. I
want to push through that door.I'll fast out of your like forever.
Goodbye. Sit down, sit down. Did you see that he said that
(47:23):
we're gonna cut it out. Ohhe told me that he was. I'm
getting out of here. They're makinga pool out of me. That's what
I am. Come back, Yes, a minute, good morning? The
clip here? Yes, he does, can come in. I think he's
(47:45):
upstairs. Oh dead, thanks alot, don't mention it. Who is
it? Hello? Kid, Myname's Wahlberg. Yeah you want. I
just want to talk to you numberone. Have you got an agent?
No? I have. That's whatI figured. Now, Look, I'd
(48:05):
like to handle you. I'm sorry, I'm not interested in pictures. Not
interested. Have you seen the reviewsthis morning? Listen to what they're saying
about you. I don't want tohear it. Listen. A young man
named Clifford Armity is the funniest newcomerin money a day. And here's another
one. He's good for a laughevery time he comes on the screen,
A low comedy face. If thiswriter ever saw one, Oh kid,
your maid, low comedy thing,I'll never trust another woman as long as
(48:32):
I live. What are you talkingabout? I don't want to talk at
all. No, wait, I'vegot something that's going to interest you.
Is the definite you're gonna stick withBird? It's definite that I'm leaving good.
I can put you over in bigArt tomorrow. What kind of parts
would I have the same as yourhead last night? Comedy? That's your
(48:54):
line, young love, adolescent stuff. I don't want it. Listen,
kid, you stick to comedy.I'm telling you you've got the best low
comedy patient pictures. It's genuine pathos. Frankly, I don't believe you could
ever make the great and a seriousstory. But you've got pathos and acting
plus. Now, what do yousay you want to sign with me?
You'll be working next week in BigArt? Yes or no? I'm sorry.
(49:21):
You don't want to play comedy?You mean you wouldn't come on any
proposition, That's what I mean.Wouldn't five hundred a week interest you?
But no? Six? No?Seven? Eh, you're a pretty tough
(49:42):
hey, aren't you all right?Kid? Sorry? We can't get together?
Yes? Upstairs? Okay, Isee you? All right? If
(50:08):
I go up, don't yourself?Who is it? Phyllis? Hello?
Come on in? Oh? Ithought you could thought well after last night,
(50:28):
I figured you'd be sorry at me? What for? Why should I
be sore at you? It wasa dirty trick. I played Merton,
but it turned off your own goodI wish you could see it that way
for sure, I do. Uhhuh. I'm a lot smarter than I
was yesterday. Comedy is my life. Oh, I've got the greatest little
comedy facing pictures. Didn't you knowthat? I'm a scream every time I
(50:52):
open my mouth. I'm good fora laugh. I've got pathos acting?
Plus why i'd be terrible in theserious story? Did you think I know
that? Do you think that I'mnot dumb? Do you think that?
Please? I had an offer alreadythis morning. They want to pay me
(51:13):
seven hundred and fifty dollars a weekfrom making funny faces. That's funny enough
right there. You can't take thatyour sign with Fair, through with Fairs,
through with Hollywood. I'm going home. That means you're through with me
(51:34):
too. I though, all right, you can walk out on bed than
me, but not pictures. Soyou've got a lotw comedy face. One
of us. They liked you,didn't say. You've got the greatest gift
that was ever given to anybody,making people laugh. And you're not gonna
throw that gift away. You're gonnago and see that picture. I'm gonna
drag you there every night for aweek, and you're gonna stand in the
(51:58):
lobby and watch the people they comeout. They'll be laughing. They won't
be scared and worried for a fewminutes because you've made him forget. That's
what people need now, they needto laugh. I pulled a dirty trick
on you, but I do itagain. I do it tomorrow. If
I thought to make you understand,Oh you said, you fools, please
(52:21):
please don't cry. Please look yousee what I mean? Look at that
face. And I never laughed theheart on my life. Yeah, I
(52:42):
guess so they like you. Thereyou have read and here there isn't it.
Come on, let's go, You'rewell. I almost die laughing,
laugh young your book? You meanit? I got all of that.
Gee, I love to what's thegood word? Right? Got anything for
the column? No? Not asecondary Hello armated? Oh hello Frank?
(53:04):
What's the son? Know it's inthe theater? You and Phillips holding hands?
Oh that's nothing. Well you cansay that we're friends. Yeah,
yeah, that's right, Frank.She's my greatest pal. And I might
also add my severest critic doesn't fallson that fabulous city called Hollywood. And
(53:31):
here we are back in Hollywood.Two fine players, Mickey Rooney and Judy
Garland are turning to our microphone,and before they leave it, I've asked
them to sing a song together.Thank You's uh. This play was a
lot of fun, mister demil.But do you think that things really happened
(53:52):
that way in Hollywood? I don'tknow, Mikey. I've seen a lot
of mighty unbelievable things here in thelast thirty years. Well, how about
a few samples. Well no,Micky, reminiscing is a luxury that only
young fellows like you can afford.Just between us, I remember a small
boy who made such a hidden pictureswith the Derby hat and a big black
(54:12):
cigar that he couldn't get any otherpart. Sounds like an awful tough kid.
Whatever became of him. He finallybroke the jinks by playing Shakespeare and
Andy Hardy. Right now, he'sstanding there beside you, Judy. Oh,
why Mickey smoking cigars at that age? I used to get through four
or five days when I was younger. Well, they were chocolate anyway.
(54:35):
Say what was this place like whenyou first came out here, mister de
Milt from my first studio was rightacross the street, Mickey, Only the
street was a country lane and thestudio was a bard. And over here
on the side of the Lux Radiotheater. Well, Mickey, right where
you're standing now, there used tobe an orange tree. Must be good
soil here, first it grows oranges, then luck soap. Well, if
(54:57):
lock soap did grow on trees wouldbe a lot nice for us girls.
I can't do without it. Butback in those days, girls didn't have
luck self to help keep their complexionsoft and smooth? Did they see?
Pioneering must be awful? You meanway back in in nineteen twelve bls.
That's before luck, so for thosewere pretty rugged times. Look what the
(55:20):
Indians did to my hair? Well, changing the subject, what have you
got on the fire for next week, mister de milk. Next week,
Mickey, one of the screen's mostpopular characters come to the Lux Radio Theater
for the first time. It's thatfast talking girl with a heart of gold,
Mazie. The players adapted from theMetro Golden Mayor picture Mazie was a
(55:42):
lady and the stars were We wouldn'tdare bring you anybody with the same actress
who plays Mazie on the screen andSouthern and co starring with her. We'll
have Blue Airs and Marino Sullivan fromthe picture cast and Henry Stephenson. All
the Mazy fans know what to expect, and I think the rest of you
will become Mazy fans next Monday night. Gee, that sounds far, mister
(56:04):
demil, I want to hear that. Now, Ladies and gentlemen, here's
the song that Making and Judy promisedus. It's how about You from their
new picture Babes on Broadway and thefirst time it's been sung on the air.
When a girl meets born, whyit can be a joy, But
(56:30):
the not they end on will dependon little pleasure they will shame song less.
I like New York in June.How about you? Why like a
(56:55):
gurse when tune? How about you? I love a fireside when a storm
is new. I like the PatoChips, Moonlight motor trips about you.
(57:15):
I'm mad about good books. Youcan't get my fill Franklin Rose Belts,
look skime me through holding hands inthe movie shop. All the lights of
all may not be new, butI like you out. I like Jack
(57:46):
Danny's jokes to a degree. Ilove the common quote that includes me.
I like to no shop on FifthAvenue. You do well. I like
Banana Slip's lates up for at theRitz. Say how about you? I
(58:10):
love to dream of fame. MaybeI'll shine. I'd love to see your
name right beside mine. I cansee we're in harmony. It looks like
we both agree on what to doand like it all. You anus us
(58:47):
a talent like yours that keeps HollywoodYon. Our sponsors the makers of lux
toilet Tope in me and inviting youto be with us again. Next Monday
night, when the Next Radio Theatrepresents an Southern Blue Airs Marinos Sullivan and
Henry Stephenson in Mazie with a lady, the secessor be themill Fame. Good
(59:14):
night to you from holly Wood.We remind you now that the annual Red
Cross Roads Law was going on throughoutthe country. Joined the Red Cross and
helped one thousand and one activities ofthis great organization. Junior, next Monday
night to hear Anne Southern lou Heirs, Marino Sullivan and Henry Stephenson in Mazie
was the lady. Our music wasdirected by Louis Silvers, and your announcer
(59:36):
has been Melville Royd. This isthe Columbia Broadcasting System.
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