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For over a decade, David Tian, Ph.D. -- a uniquely qualified therapist, life coach, and former university professor -- has coached tens of thousands of people from over 87 countries to achieve happiness and success in their relationships, dating, psychology, and lifestyle.
Dr. Tian has been featured in international media, as well as co-hosting a radio show on national radio and a weekly dating advice column in a national newspaper in Singapore.
The show, “Man Up: Masculinity for the Intelligent Man (https://www.davidtianphd.com/blog/)
,” is David’s way of helping as many people as possible enjoy empowering and fulfilling lives, while contributing to the global understanding of masculinity in modern times. In the show, he takes your questions posed in the Man Up private Facebook group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/manup..
.) and answers based on his experience coaching tens of thousands of students around the world for over a decade."
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Dr. David Tian: Boom, stop! I'm David Tian, Ph.D., and in this episode I answer the question: Should you stay in an unpleasant relationship? My thoughts on Matthew Hussey's advice. Welcome to Man Up 234. Masculinity for the intelligent man. I'm David Tian, Ph.D., and this is Man Up!
Hi, I'm David Tian Ph.D. and welcome to Man Up episode 234. For over the past 11 years now, I've been helping hundreds of thousands of people in over 87 countries attain success, happiness and fulfillment in life and love. Let's just get into the question. This is a question that was originally sent to me from a post by a dating coach named Matthew Hussey. He's a dating coach for women, mostly. So his demographic is almost opposite of what mine is, but it's still relationship advice. So, he wanted my thoughts about that quote, and the thing he forwarded to me was also liked by Lewis Howes. Lewis Howes is the author of Mask of Masculinity. So, sort of the same ecosystem as far as advice goes.
So, the advice that was asked, or he's asking my advice on the advice of Matthew Hussey, which is, "If a guy makes your life more difficult, more stressful, more unpleasant, it's a bad relationship. It doesn't matter how beautiful the flower underneath is if you can never see it through the weeds." Okay, so that sounds really nice and it's sort of nice in the way that Marilyn Monroe's famous quote is nice, her famous quote of, "If you can't handle me on the bad days, you don't get me on the good days." Or something along those lines. So, it sounds nice and all the people who want to like stick it to their ex-partners say, "Yeah! I'm not at fault at all. It's all your fault. And you made my life difficult, so fuck you!"
There are a lot of people who like this advice, especially people who are in abusive relationships or who stayed too long in toxic relationships. However, this is actually not mature advice. I don't know that much about Matthew Hussey and his work, I'm sure it's good, he has a big following among women. This is like two sentences in a big quote card on his Instagram may be taken out of context as far as his corpice of work. But just in and of itself those two sentences can be quite misleading as far as advice goes for like, "What you should do if you want to succeed in relationships."
For transcriptions and more free resources, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/relationships/matthew-hussey-wrong/