Reclaimed & Unashamed: Living Beyond Others' Judgments | Threshold Thursday Special Episode - The Season of Self Love

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Season of Self Love Podcast, the Season
of Healing Intentionally. I am your host, Naomi Banks, and
I am so glad that you are here. This season,
we are slowing down to go deeper. Every Monday and Wednesday,
we're creating a space of intentional healing, authentic conversations, and

(00:21):
the kind of self love that transformed from the inside out.
This podcast is brought to you by Axs, Naomi and
Elevate Me Self Discovery. Well, we believe that loving yourself
intentionally is a foundation of true transformation. So whether you're
on your own journey of rebirth navigating life transitions, we're

(00:43):
simply choosing yourself. This is your safe space. So get comfort,
grab your favorite beverage, and let's heal together intentionally because
you deserve to embrace that beautiful person that you are. Now,
let's get started, right, my beautiful people, Welcome back to

(01:04):
Threshold Thursday here on the Season of Stuff Love Podcast.
You know what, this is a very special episode here.
It is because this one is coming from my heart. First,
let me say this that I am officially eleven weeks
post up from my excellented surgery, and while I'm still healing,

(01:24):
I am truly taking things slow, taking things slow as
right now we're just just doing two episodes a week.
But this particular episode here, it just wouldn't let me rest,
and it was calling me, and it was just pulling me,
and it was just demanding me to share this episode. Well,
a few days ago, I received the DM on Instagram

(01:46):
and it just stopped me writing my track. Someone reached
out to me and they said, Hi, Naomi. I love
that you're trying to change and love your new life,
but do you struggle sometimes wondering how other might view
your past? I have that problem too, And let me
tell y'all something. When I read that, I felt that

(02:11):
it was soul like because I knew what this person
was feeling because I've been there before. I've been that before.
Where I am now is not where I started when
I left the industry, and I promise you that it didn't.
So this episode is for that person. It's for anyone

(02:33):
who is reinventing themselves, anyone who is rebuilding, anyone that
has reclaimed me, anyone that is carrying this weight, this
fear about being judged on who they used to be,
on who they used to be, and you know, what
This is the perfect way to close out our Stepping

(02:57):
into Authenticity series this month. What way to end it right?
What way to end it right? You know, we've been
diving deep into what it means to show up as
your true self, and today we bringing it home. We're
ringing it right home with this powerful conversation about living
una shame. This ties directly to our year rebirth theme,

(03:21):
because rebirth isn't just about you becoming new. It's about
integrating every version of yourself and standing unashamed in your
full story. But you know what, let's take a quick
break and then we come back. We're going to get
deep into this conversation. All right, it's you gratty God,
it's not be bangs here on the Season and Stuff
Love podcast, and we'll be right back.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
Washington wells into two focuses on healing. Always for me,
if I look good, then I feel good. If I
feel good, then I share the good. If I share
the good, then I celebrate the good. If I celebrate
the good, then I live the good. So I can
be paid to be mic, but I have to learn
the good to be the good. So what does it

(04:04):
take to be the greatest It's as simple as a
free fifteen minute consultation.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
Be kind to yourself and you'll always Hey, it's your gird.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
You got it?

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Now Me Banks, and make sure you tune in every
three Thursday ninety as Naomi Podcast where we talk about
everything we love, sex, relationship, culture, differences and so much
more by bridging the gap between them all. And we
even talk about the scratch of wending. You need to
stop by me and dot com cook as well as
the BTV Thrue. You have some amazing guests that come

(04:38):
from you never know. Just make sure you tune me
at Thursday nine six pm SI cent of time. Go
to asksdyom dot com and tell them Naomi saw All right,
welcome back to my beautiful people. Welcome to the season
the Seer Podcast again. My name is Naomi Banks, and

(05:00):
today it's a very special episode for Threshold Thursday. It's
called Reclaim It Under Shame, Living Beyond Other Judgments. As
I said before, this is probably the very best way
to end this amazing series that we had this month
of stepping into your authenticity. But before we truly get

(05:20):
into this topic, you know how we do it. We're
going to take a nice little moment for us just
to ground ourselves before.

Speaker 4 (05:29):
We do that.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
So right now, wherever you at in this moment in time,
I ask that you get comfortable as we do this.
All right, wherever you are right now, I want you
to find a comfortable position. And if you are driving,
I want you to keep your eyes open. But everyone else,
if you feel safe to do so, gently close your eyes. Now,

(05:54):
let's start with three deep breaths together. Okay, I wanted
to breathe in slowly through your nose.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
Too.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
Four. Now release it through your mouth again, breathing through
your nose, hold and let go one more time, filling

(06:25):
your lungs completely. Now exhale everything that doesn't serve you.
Now bring you awareness to your feet. I want you
to fill them on the ground, connected to the earth.
You are supported, you are held, and I want you

(06:51):
to place one hand on your heart and I want
you to feel it beating this beautiful rhythm that has
carried you through every single chapter of your life. Now,
I want you to visualize your past not as a
prison that confines you, but as a foundation that you're

(07:16):
standing on. Every choice, every mistake, every moment of joy
and pain, there are stones beneath your feet, making you
steady and then making you strong. Now, I want you

(07:36):
to imagine any judgments, any shame, any fear, or what
others think. I want you to visualize it as a
dark falk around you. And now, with each breath, I
want you to watch that fall dissolve. That has no

(07:59):
power here, it never did. Now I want you to
bring your awareness back to now to your solar plexus
just right above your belly button. That's your power center.
I want you to feel it glowing with golden light.

(08:21):
This is your power, This is your choice, this is
your voice. Now say with me in your mind, I
am not my past, I am my choices. Today. Now
bring that light up to your heart center, and I

(08:44):
want you to feel it expand with green healing energy,
the energy of self compassion, the energy of self love.
You are not broken, you never were. You are whole,
You are integrated, and you are complete. Now, when you

(09:06):
are ready, take one more deep breath in, and as
you excel, I want you to let this affirmation settle
in your bones. I am reclaimed, I am unashamed. Now
gently open your eyes and we'll go your fingers and toes,

(09:26):
and I want you to come back to this moment.
I am reclaimed and I am unashamed. If you are
new here to this season Acephalo podcast, It's something we
do every show, is that we have ground ourselves before
we get into the topic. You hand, this was a
little longer than we usually do, but I truly felt

(09:47):
like we needed to do this today. And like I mentioned,
I got that message a few days ago on Instagram
and it truly pulled at my strings and truly I
felt it in my heart and my soul. And I'm
gonna tell you, very honestly if it truly made me full.

(10:10):
And what I mean is because I'm doing exactly what
I'm supposed to be doing. I'm doing exactly what I'm
supposed to be doing and why I am here in
this moment now. But I know me getting to this
point right here, it wasn't that easy. And just as
that letter asks me, you know, how how can I

(10:32):
get past those judgments? So what I've done in my past?
How can I get there? And so I want to
talk about the very first thing is the fear, as
a fear on what others might think of me. So
when I did receive that message, you know you you

(10:54):
do struggle. You do struggle sometimes wondering how others might
fveil your past. And let me tell you what that's
really asking? What's that really saying? And I know because
those are the feelings and the emotions that I went through.
It is asking am I less than because of my past?

(11:16):
And it's also asking will people judge me? Will they
see me as damage? Will my history define my worth?
But it's also asking am I allowed to change? Am
I allowed to grow? Am I allowed to be someone new?

(11:37):
Why still honoring who I was? And here's what I
want you to know that this fear is universal. What
you're feeling is so universal is everyone has felt that feeling,
no matter what they had done in life. So if
you felt this, know that you are not alone. You

(12:01):
are not broken for filing this. You are beautiful, You
are perfectly human. But here's where it gets heavy. And
I remember having this conversation with my husband earlier. Today.
Women carry all of this differently. We carry this differently,

(12:22):
We carry the shame differently, we carry the guilt differently.
We carry this in a way that men often don't
have to, because society has taught us that our worth
is tied to our purity. Our worth is tied to
our choices, Our worth is tied to our bodies, and

(12:44):
our worth is tied to our past. We're taught that
redemption are for men, but women, we're supposed to be
perfect from the start, from the start. And there's this,
there's a difference between shame and guilt, and I think

(13:10):
that it's very important to name that here. Guilt says
I did something wrong. Shame says I am wrong. Guilt
can be very useful when it tells us when we've
stepped out of alignments or with our values, and it
guides us, you know, back to the same way. But

(13:31):
when when we talk about shame, shame is a prison.
Shame is you are your worst moment, you are your
biggest mistake, You're your most painful chapter. And shame will
keep you small, Shame will keep you silent, and shame

(13:57):
will keep you hiding. And as I mentioned before, I
know this. I know this because I lived it. I
lived it, so I want to share something with you.
I had created an album that I released for my
birthday called the Soundtrack of the Rebirth, and it's one

(14:20):
particular song called Reclaiming un a shame. And how I
began writing this this song was just remembering me when
I felt the very first time I felt that I
was not woman enough. And this is when I was
thirteen years old. I was thirteen years old, flat Chester

(14:43):
and had little nubs and I was staring at myself
in the mirror, and I remember questioning everything about being
a woman. Is it about my breast? Do I need
to have breast to be able to be a woman?
You know? Was my womanhood my work?

Speaker 4 (15:00):
You know?

Speaker 1 (15:00):
And I remember the confusion, I remember the tears. I
remember wondering if I'm enough. And this is at thirteen
years old. It don't matter how fast I was faster
than the boys. It was how great a basketball player,
you know, how far I can throw a baseball, how
high I can jump. It did not matter to that
at all, because I didn't have boobs that made me

(15:27):
feel unworthy of being a woman. And then I want
to fast forward a little bit to remember rebuilding my
career in the adult industry. I became what I call
an infamous household name, you know, across the world. But
then watching as I started to transform into this person

(15:53):
who I am now, I was being shamed and judged
for the choices. In these choices, and it might sound crazy,
it gave me power, It gave me a voice, and
it gave me my platform. And then I remember standing
at fifty three years old, I don't wanna say fifty

(16:14):
two and a half years old, looking at the scars
from my explant surgery scars I love them now and
realizing that every single decision that I made, even the
ones that people judged me, brought me here, brought me
to this moment, brought me to this healing, brought me
to this version of myself that is so free. It

(16:39):
is so free. But what it also does, it connects
me to everything that I'm doing. The podcast The Season
of Self Love asks Naomi, bridging a gap, the book
I'm writing, Reclaimed and unashamed, the mission to raise awareness
for breast implant illness. All of this is about taking

(17:00):
my narrative. You know, always say, don't read a book
by his cover. Take the time to read the pages
within the book. That's me. You can't just read the
cover of my book and say that's what that is. No, baby,
there is so many chapters, and that's only one book

(17:25):
of many books of my life. But also here's the
other truth here is other people's opinions are not your responsibility,
that judgments are not your burden to carry. So now
what I want to do is I want to reframe it.

(17:48):
I want your past to be your power because it is.
And I want you, if y'all listening right now, just
in this one moment, I want y'all to just say
after me, my past is my power. My past is
my power. So let's talk about reclaiming versus denial, because

(18:12):
there's a huge difference. Denial says that that wasn't me,
that wasn't mean, I'm pretending like that never happened, that
wasn't me, and reclaiming and reclamation says, oh that was me,
And here's what I learned here, who I became because

(18:35):
of it. So the thing is that you're not hiding
your past. You're reframing it, you're owning it, and you're
integrating it. Your past doesn't diminish your present, it informs it.
Think about it every lesson, every hardship, every choice that's

(18:59):
societ might judge you for those things gave you wisdom, resilience, empathy,
and strength. I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna say this
one more time. Everything, everything, every hardship, every choice that

(19:22):
society might judge you for. Those things gave you wisdom, resilience,
empathy and strength. And in my song Reclaimed and Unashamed,
I talk about looking at my reflection at different stages
of my life. At thirteen, question in my womanhood, at

(19:43):
thirty one, deciding and choosing to get implants in my
chest at threes other thirty four, thirty five years old,
getting into the adult industry and feeling less than and
then at fifty three, finally understanding that all of those
verse and so for me were valid, they were necessary,

(20:04):
they were divine. And see the difference between shame and
wisdom its ownership. I own me, I own this, but
shamee says I'm bad, and wisdom say I learned. Now.

(20:25):
I want to take you to the DVD principles. We
hadn't talked about this in a while, in a long time,
and I want to talk about this. And if you
knew here and don't know what DVD principles is, it's
called decision, visualization and discipline. And I learned this from
reading last year. Around this time changed my period I'm

(20:46):
changed my life by byproct but I wanted to implement
it into the words and the speaking of teachings that
I do here on the season and so just in
life period, because this is what I implemate into my
life to where how I can live and I can

(21:06):
reclaim my life every single day. So I have to
remember those DVD principles. So let's talk about the decision.
When you decide that you want to reclaim your life
and be under shame, you have to decide to change.
You have to decide to change, and you're deciding to change.

(21:30):
That's power, that's agency, that's divine feenom, energy, and action.
That is your need to heal and want to heal
in action, and you don't need anyone's permission to evolve.
So then let's talk about visualization. This is where you

(21:50):
see yourself as whole, not broken, not fragmented, not defined
by your past, but your whole integrated. When you visualize
yourself walk into rooms under shame, health held high because
you know your worth. So let me go back and

(22:12):
share a story with you all on when I decided
to leave the industry, and I remember, and I think
I shared this story before. I remember being in my
car praying every time I'm on my way to set,
and that prayer was, God, please show me when it's
time for me to leave. And the reason why I
left that industry where I left the industry performing in

(22:35):
front of you, because I received the sign. I received
the sign and when I decided to do that. I
remember my decision like it was yesterday. And in that decision,
I told my community, and my community was the people
in the adult industry. Was that Urban Ex Awards. I
remember I was a co host with myself and Alexander Duvaux.

(22:57):
I was a co host, and I remember at one
point I was just hiding my pregnancy everybody. Somebody knew
it was something going on because I had counsel shoots
and everything like that, because I was trying to figure
out what I was going to do. And I remember
getting on set, getting getting on stage, and it is

(23:18):
so funny, devoted even though I was pregnant, and I
stood on stage and I remember he was standing right
next to me and we were talking and then I
was like, you know, I did a Beyonce. I opened
up my jacket and put out and just let my
stomach show and it was just there. It was, you know, there,
and everybody was like, oh my God, like real, this

(23:39):
is what's going on. But I knew then it was
time for me to leave the industry in that form,
in that version of myself there, and it kind of
everything kind of set me up because at that time
I was still doing Playboy in Series radio, so I
was still connected to the adult industry, but I was
no longer in front of the camera. And so what

(24:00):
that did. It gave me time to heal on heal backstage,
if that makes sense. It gave me time to heal
because I didn't know what was planned for me, but
God knew what he had in store for me and
knew that I would have to be able to sit
on my on this platform like this and create other

(24:20):
platforms for other beautiful souls who need to and want
to reclaim theirselves and live theirselves their lives reclaimed and unashamed.
So I made that decision, but also through that and
going through my healing journey, I had to think about

(24:40):
how can I visualize that? Where did the visualization come
from with me doing that? And I remember thinking about
I think about, you know, creating Chocolate Radio you know,
a whole station. I thought about, you know, doing so
many of the I created so many different businesses, you know,
because that that was my village. Excuse me, my see,

(25:05):
that's my brain fag getting to me. You'll have to
excuse me. But my visilation, my visulation on what my
life was to look like and how it was to
be evolved. But I was still wrong. And I don't
want to say I was wrong, but I think I was.
I was it ain't I think I know that I
was limiting myself. And I remember continue to keep myself

(25:30):
around in those circles and in that because that's all
that I knew in that time, even though I was
only actively in that industry for six years. But that's
all I knew. That's all I knew is Naomi Banks.
So my persona before then, that person before then was gone.

(25:50):
And so again when I read that message and that
I knew exactly how that person felt. But then again
that told me, there is that Naomi girl. You're in
the right place, You're doing the right thing. Do you
understand This is why this needs to be done? This

(26:12):
is why. And then let's talk about the discipline. Discipline
is this is the daily work. This is showing up
as your highest self, regardless of others narratives, setting boundaries,
and honoring your story and refusing to shrink. And let
me tell you how I became disciplined. It's when I

(26:34):
realized that I can no longer search outside of myself
for validation or approval. I can't. I cannot look at
other people's values as my values. I cannot look for
somebody else's love to define me and my love for self.
And I remember sitting asking myself, you know, how do

(26:57):
you love yourself? Do you love yourself? What does it
take to love you? I remember asking myself that. Then
I remember hearing you have to have an intimate relationship
with yourself. You have to fall in love with yourself.
And that's everything about yourself, your past, your present, and

(27:21):
your future, your past relationships, your past, everything, all the good,
bad and ugly of it. You have to love all
of that. But also you got to figure out why
did I go through that, what did I learn from
all of that? And how are you going to make
that your power? Your super power? So even when this

(27:48):
year came around and I said, this is going to
be the year the rebirth last year was the year
of domination. This year is the year the rebirth. And
when I claimed that, I promise you all, I did
not know that I was going to remove my implntse
that was not in my cards. But once I decided,

(28:10):
I made the decision, and then I visualized what I
would look like without them. And then the discipline came
from self love. It came for what I've been doing
here for two years in front of you all, but
also what I've been doing for eight or nine years
in my closet, at my altar, in my prayers. It's

(28:36):
find it out who I am. Who I am. Let's
remove all of the names, Let's remove all of the labels,
Let's remove all of that. Who am I? What is
my purpose? What gives me joy? And I had to
go back, like, what gives me joy is giving people

(28:57):
advice and helping people, empowering and encouraging inspiring people. When
I was a little girl, I said I wanted to
change the world. I was laughed at and said, you
can't do that, And I thought I couldn't, especially now
that I had got up on a camera and was

(29:18):
doing a freaking iggy. I thought I couldnot do it,
But God showed me something totally different. They say, yes
you can, he said, because I need you flawed. I
need you flawed so you can stand up there so
other flawed people can see you. Because guess what we
are are flawed. There's not one perfect person in this world,

(29:41):
want not even the little babies that's been born today.

Speaker 4 (29:45):
One.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
But it took me some time to learn and understand that.
That's because I had to learn and understand who I am,
who I am as a spiritual being, who I am
as a beautiful soul, who I am as a beautiful person.
And you see, I didn't say woman, I didn't say man,

(30:11):
I don't say black, I don't say white. I had
to go inside of me and heal that. And I
want to redefine what unashame, what unashamed means, because it's

(30:34):
not arrogance. And I know people say, oh, Naomi, you
so you fool and you got it all together, and
you this.

Speaker 4 (30:39):
And you that.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
I've been told that before. Somebody told me before, you
speak very highly of yourself. And I said, why shouldn't
I Why should I wait for somebody else to talk
highly of me? I'm not about to wait for somebody
to give me my flowers when I know the work
that I've done, I know what type of person that
I am, I know what my characters is. But I

(31:06):
also know that when I when I redefine what unashamed
is again, I'm not being arrogant, and I'm not being
reckless either. And it's not pretending that I'm struggling, because
I ain't. That's not it. I'm telling you all. Unasham
is being honest. It's being grounded, it's being self aware.

(31:30):
It's ownership, and it's saying, yes, that that was me,
that would that was me? Yeap. And and I'm not
apologizing for my evolution. I'm not apologizing for my growth,
and neither ship you. It's something that I say all

(31:51):
the time. Never allow anybody to keep you in that box.
You know what's that movie called it say? Don't nobody
ever put baby in that corner. Don't ever allow nobody
to put you in a corner. There are so many,
so many multi dimensionals of all of us, all of us,

(32:15):
of all of us. I want to try to think
about some women throughout history who has reclaimed their narratives.
Maya Angelo remember I read somewhere that she was a
stripper or a prostitute. And if I'm wrong, please tell me.
But it was something. And I saw she was sexually assaulted,

(32:35):
and so was Oprah. And these two women in their
own communities have been through hell and came out standing
in their truth. You got people reciting Maya Angelo's poems.
I remember a time they said that she couldn't write,
a read or speak. Imagine that. Imagine that. And here's

(33:00):
the authenticity advantage of all of that. When you own
your story, When you own your stories, others can't weaponize
it against you. Your vulnerability becomes your armor, Your truth
becomes your power. And perhaps the most beautiful, the most

(33:22):
beautiful thing is that you give permission for others to
do the same. But I want to say this before
I go on to the next segment. Is that you
decided to go through this change, You decided to grow,

(33:44):
to move on into heal. But when you do that,
I won't make sure you do the work. Don't come
on these platforms and pretending that's who you are. Go
through the work, do the mere look at yourself. But
you know what, I got something better, because I'm going

(34:07):
to help you with some tools that could possibly help
you if you apply them. And this is how to
live daily. So we talked about fear, we talked about reframing.
Now let's talk practical how do we actually live this out?
So the first one is tool number one, call that

(34:37):
the narrative rewrite. This is about learning how to tell
your story in a way that honors your growth. So
this is what I'm gonna do with doctor will say,
I don't know if you're at home or wherever you at.
I want you to get a piece of paper in
a pin as doctor willill saving a purpose paper and

(34:58):
purpose pin and needs are I'm giving you four two's
to help you to get past these judgments on how
to reclaim and undershame your life. So to one, the
narrative rewrite again, this is about telling your story. Telling

(35:23):
about learning how to tell your story in a way
that honors your growth. So here's the framework. This is
what you say, I used to and now I So,
for example, I used to let other opinions control my choices.

(35:44):
Now I trust my own inner guidance. Or I used
to hide parts of my past out of shame, Now
I share my story to help others heal. And then
for me, this is mine. I used to work in
an industry that society judge, but that experience taught me

(36:08):
about power, boundaries and reclaiming my body as my own.
Now I use that wisdom to help women heal from
breast implant illness, and I help others to step into
their authentic sounds. I help others to search for that
inner love that they've been searching for. So you see

(36:30):
how that works. So you're not denying your past. You're
showing the growth, You're showing the transformation, you're showing the
wisdom gained. All right, so too too boundary setting. This
is an important one. And here's the hard truth. Not

(36:53):
everyone get access to your full story, so you don't
owe everyone an explanation. But who gets to know your journey?
The people who earned your trust, the people who see you,
the people listen to me, the people who celebrate your evolution,
whether they're judging your past rather than judging your past,

(37:16):
and can I be honest, sometimes the people that was
in your circle, closest people, they don't deserve to know
that full service. They don't deserve to be there, They
don't deserve to be It can be your family members,
it can be your closest friends at that moment of

(37:37):
your time. But if they're going to continue to bring
up and don't see your growth, no, no, no, that's
when you have to learn your boundaries. But also when
judgment shows up. When judgment shows up, and it will,

(38:01):
you have several options that you can do. Several options.
You can educate if you have the energy. You can
educate them if you had I know, I've done it
quite a few times on social media. Or you can
redirect them. I appreciate your concern, but I'm at peace
with my journey. I've done that too. Or you can

(38:23):
simply say that's not my story to defend. I remember
on one occasion, it was one I was saying something
very positive and someone, oh, I was sharing a story
on why I got into the industry, and actually this
video kind of went a little viral, and I told

(38:46):
her about me get into the industry because I was
helping my father, my mother, and my father with his
medical and that was the reason why I got into
the industry for financial gain for that and I remember
looking at a comment it was a bunch of them
that said that my father should be ashamed of me.
If they were my father, I would kill myself and

(39:07):
you know, so many different things. And I remember looking
at that, and at a moment I was hurt. But
then I had to realize that that's not even my story,
you Anderston, what I'm saying, that's not even my story.
So people say, well, you know you don't. You would
never get married, you would never have any children, you
would never be worth anything. But that's not my story.

(39:31):
So why would I get mad at that when that's
not even my story. That's not my story. So when
I thought about that, wait again, that ain't your story.
And I'm not going to allow anybody to put that
narrative on me. Because here's the thing. I am not

(39:53):
on trial. You are not on trial. You are not
required to justify your existence, since your choices or your
transformation to anyone. Why I choose to do this because
I know that this is a part of my purpose.
I know that this is a part of my assignment.

(40:17):
And I love to encourage and inspire others. I said,
I want to change the world, and damn it, I'm
going I'm doing it one person at a time. Whoever
my community is, I'm able to help them to reframe
and redirect their thinking of themselves. And let's go to

(40:41):
two three spiritual grounding. This is where I want you
to build a daily practice that anchors you in your truth.
And hear me out when I say this. I want
you to create an ultraspace, even if it's small, even
it's a corner of a home in your closet. That's

(41:02):
why I started off in my closet. And I want
you to place items, items that represent your reclamation. Rather
there's photos of yourself at different ages, if you do
crystals that affirmation, cars, candles, or even you just writing
a letter or words to yourself. All right, But now

(41:25):
I want to share three affirmations that I want you
to write down and I want you to speak these daily.
Number One, I release the need for others approval. My
validation comes from within. Two, my past is my power,

(41:49):
not my prison. And I am reclaimed. And three, I
am woman or I am man, whichever one you are.
I am woman or I am man, whole and complete
exactly as I am. All right, now, I got some

(42:15):
more of y'all because y'all know I'm a colored girl.
I believe color. Color is energetically for me, very in
y'all see me with this loud red hair, because color
is a spiritual practice for me. I use specific colors
for healing. Red red is for reclaiming, reclamation, and it's

(42:38):
root shakring, grounding, standing firm in your truth. And gold
gold is for abundance and my solar plexus power, owning
your voice. And then green green is for heart chakra healing,

(42:58):
that's of love and compassion. If you was to come
into my home, you would see all of those colors,
all of those colors because every room that I go in,
I want to have that healing feeling. You understand. I
wanted to have that grounding feeling, you know. I want

(43:24):
to feel that abundance. I want to be able to
own my voice and speak and live in my truth.
So I want to share this with you. When we
talk about chakra focusing, this is what you should be
root red stability, stability in your truth, feeling grounded in

(43:49):
who you are. That's red, that's your root chakra. The
next is green. These are colors that I want you
to focus on. Green that's the heart chakra. That is
self love, and that's compassion. For listen to what I say.
This all versions of your self. And then we're gonna

(44:13):
go to the crown chakra right here. That's violent, That
is the spiritual alignment that's connected to your higher purpose.
In two four, community over judgment. You need people around

(44:34):
you who will celebrate your evolution, not people who would
keep you tied down to your past. Even those people
that try to sneak diss you, you have to remove
them from out of your circle. Find people, build your circle,
create spaces well. Vulnerable storytelling is ourn nerved because when

(44:59):
you stand in your truth, you create a ripple effect.
You encourage. You encourage gives people permission to be courageous.
Your courage does that. That is what encouraging means in
your freedom, your freedom gets permission to be free. Again,

(45:24):
I tell you when I received that DM, and I
get lots of dms, but this one stood out to me.
So now we want to go to the deeper truth.
What is this really all about? Because it isn't just
about personal healing. This is systematic, right, and we're about

(45:47):
to go here as women, I'm a woman, As a woman,
as women past, we are scrutinized differently than again our
men partners and a man and with a colorful history,
has experience, his complex interesting. But a woman, a woman

(46:07):
with a past, is damage. It's questionable, it's less than
it's unworthy. But all of this, right now, all of this,
everything that I'm speaking today, it connects directly to my
advocacy work, whether it's raising awareness about breast implant illness,
about supporting sex workers, standing with abuse survivors, all of

(46:30):
this is about women reclaiming agency over their narratives. So
when you take control of your story, when you refuse
to let others define you, that is an act of resistance.
So let me talk about the rebirth concept, because it's
not about starting over, it's about evolving. I remember a

(46:55):
few weeks ago a friend of mine came by and
we sat around and he said, you don't think you've changing,
And I said, no, I've always been this way. I said,
I'm just I'm just becoming a better version of who
I've already am. And I don't think he understood exactly
what that means. And it's like, I'm not a racing
anything of who I am or what I was or

(47:17):
what I did, because that is what created this whole
amazing thing of me. It is my past. It is
what I went through, but also is what I've taken
from that. And I learned from that, and I do
things differently. I grow, I don't stay stay the same,

(47:39):
because again, I'm not a racing of who I am.
So you're not a racing who you are. You're integrating them.
You're having conversations between your past self and your present self,
and you're allowing them to coexist so you can make
this amazing become this amazing person that's gonna do some

(48:02):
amazing things out in this world. So at thirteen, I
was questioning my womanhood. At thirty one, I begin to
build a career in the entertainment industry that Society Letter
tried to shame me for. And at fifty three, I
removed my impluse that was destroying my body and I

(48:24):
reclaim my original form. All of those versions of me
are still here. I'm gonna say it again, all of
those versions of me are stier here. They're in conversations,
they're in the building, They're in the building the legacy

(48:47):
that I'm creating. So through this podcast, through the book,
Reclaim that un a shame Coming. October fourteen, twenty twenty six,
twenty twenty six through events in community that I'm giving
other women, other men, other couples permission to be reclaimed

(49:07):
and unashamed. That's the empowerment ripple affecting action. One woman
stands up and say, I refuse to be ashamed, and
then another woman sees that and she thinks, maybe I
don't have to be ashamed either, and then it spreads.
This is how we change the narrative, not just individually,

(49:31):
but collectively. So let me bring this all home with
y'all today, so your past, your past doesn't define you
your choices today. To reclamation is an act of self
love and spiritual alignment. Unashamed is a choice that you

(49:55):
make every single day. The person who sent me that, DM,
I want to thank you. I want to thank you
so much for sending that to me, because that gave
me the nudge too do this episode. But also to

(50:18):
everyone else that's listening, who's carrying this fear. I see you,
and I see you, I honor you, and I want
you to know that your past, that your past is
not a liability. That is your superpower. Man. As I
am sitting here right now, I remember a beautiful loved

(50:40):
one of mine, one of my favorites, and I remember
talking to him about he had this some time in
prison for a few years, and I remember talking to
him about, let's create you a blog, and let's talk
to those those young boys of those men that have

(51:02):
been through the prison system and give them some encouragement
to let them know your story, you know, because you
just don't know who you might hear and you might
hit that could resonate, that might give them a different
perspective on what their life is today, that might help
them to move further along in their life. So, even

(51:24):
though I said a lot about women today, this is
not just about a woman thing. This is about a
human being thing, about a person thing. This is about
someone who has made a choice in their life in
that season of their life that they shouldn't always have
to be at that season. They shouldn't always have to
be at that chapter that it's time to turn the page.

(51:48):
It's time to close that book and open up another book.
It's time to open up another book. It's time to
turn that page and start a new chapter. What a
way to close out this Step in into Authenticity series?

Speaker 4 (52:12):
Huh?

Speaker 1 (52:15):
I mean, we journey together this month and I am
so grateful for each and everyone who has been walking
this path with me. I thank you for each and
every one of our guests this month. Now next week,
we're starting something new. We started something so beautiful in
our new series, and it's called Giving Back the Power
of Service and Community, and we're going to explore on

(52:36):
how serving others become a pathway to our own healing,
and how community transforms us, and how your gifts are
meant to be shared with the world. And I want
to invite you all to just share your reclamation stories
with me, send me a DM or leave me a comment,
or just join the community. But let's build this movement together.

(52:57):
And I want you to mark your calendars. He claimed
it unashamed. The book. This is not a work book.
This is the book. It drops October fourteenth of twenty
twenty six. The next year. Oh and I have some
more exciting news and I can't wait to share it

(53:17):
because I had some more things to do. But we're
locking it down. The Unstoppable, the Unstoppable Radical Transformation Toward
is kicking off in twenty twenty six. We're bringing this
message to five cities, five cities, and our first stop
is right here at home. Here in Las Vegas. We're
looking at April and May. We just got to get

(53:39):
the dates locked down with the venue and this is
going to be a very powerful and transformative and I
cannot wait to connect with you people in person. I
cannot wait for that, and more details will be coming soon,
so I want you to stay tuned. But for now,
I'm going to leave you with this song that inspired

(54:01):
the whole entire episode. Along with that alone with that
DM this is Reclaimed un a shame from my soundtrack
soundtrack of the Rebirth album, and let these words watch
over you. I want to thank you again and remember

(54:27):
to always love yourself.

Speaker 3 (54:34):
Oh that's beginning, that thirteen year old reflection in the mirror,
searching for the woman that SenseID on me, questioning does
my out of woman have to match mine? And a

(54:56):
woman as mother Nature has visited me? Ow many are
you occasion? Just to let me know my warma? The
pear's reflection? Help is something different?

Speaker 1 (55:07):
Is there a choice?

Speaker 4 (55:09):
Do I have a voice?

Speaker 5 (55:10):
And what truly makes me your warma?

Speaker 4 (55:13):
Is it just a thirty one year old woman saying
a reflectional that's thirteen years old? Girl, Let's run down.

Speaker 5 (55:24):
Nor woman can't here for to chow and I've done that.

Speaker 4 (55:30):
Why so why am I surely live?

Speaker 5 (55:38):
Reclbodybody, my choice is marmo Is I am Warma's holly complic.

Speaker 4 (56:01):
Reclaim a shame.

Speaker 5 (56:05):
I'm fun.

Speaker 4 (56:12):
Let's fastballward career resalmazy. My womanhood is made of them
from my household name for the let's not laugh too loud.
That's the world trying to shame me head again.

Speaker 3 (56:25):
From my decision.

Speaker 5 (56:26):
But they don't understand that this path was a part
of my journey at the same as.

Speaker 1 (56:32):
A vessel of God in the service of the others.

Speaker 4 (56:35):
That's a name that once was looked at a shame.
I'm here to reclaimed both the name of.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
My authentic self and my original woman.

Speaker 4 (56:41):
Somebody with my boy scream loud read name.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
It's all a shame.

Speaker 5 (56:48):
So I stand looking at my fifty three year old body.
Time said, I love the decision I made in my prey.
Soon define me as a mother nor my woman.

Speaker 4 (56:59):
I'm the last one, Lord form.

Speaker 1 (57:01):
Now take a.

Speaker 5 (57:19):
Boys, my boy by a woman.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
Recla a shame. I'm good free. Thank you so much
for joining me today on this journey of intentional healing.
I hope that this conversation has filled your cup and
reminded you of the beautiful and worthy person that you are.

(57:53):
I want you to remember healing isn't about rushing. It's
about showing up for yourself with love in intention, one
day at a time. So I'll see you back here
Monday and Wednesday for another episode of the Season of
Healing Intentionally right here on the Season of Self Love podcast.

(58:14):
So until then, keep choosing you and visit us at
the Season of Self Love podcast dot com for show
notes and resources, and remember to connect with me on
Instagram at the real Naomi Banks. This has been brought
to you by Aks Naomi and elevating Me self Discovery
because your healing matters. You are loved, you are worthy,

(58:38):
and you are exactly where you need to be. Take
care of

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Reclaimed & Unashamed: Living Beyond Others' Judgments | Threshold Thursday Special Episode

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Reclaimed & Unashamed: Living Beyond Others' Judgments | Threshold Thursday Special Episode