August 10, 2026 • 15 mins
Are you already skeptical? Do you think you know? Are you a true believer? We take a scientific lens to the idea of the midlife crisis. Consider that this might be cultural, which would indicate that it is not inevitable or inherent. This further leads us to the conclusion that it is circumstantial... if it even exists at all. We'll explain the research and understanding behind the commonly accepted idea that many people experience a dramatic shift as they enter their middle years.
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Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/why-we-do-what-we-do--3419521/support.
Support our podcast: www.patreon.com/wwdwwdpodcast
Click Here to Join our Patreon membership!
Links and References:
- https://www.helpguide.org/aging/healthy-aging/midlife-crisis
- https://www.meawisdom.com/midlife-crisis-men/
- https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/health-and-medicine/midlife-crisis-psychology
- https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/14/health/midlife-crisis-the-conversation-wellness
- https://www.psu.edu/news/research/story/probing-question-mid-life-crisis-myth
- https://www.apa.org/monitor/apr03/researchers
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/midlife-reimagined/202310/the-7-biggest-myths-about-midlife
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/why-we-do-what-we-do--3419521/support.
Support our podcast: www.patreon.com/wwdwwdpodcast
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
You're listening to Why We Do what we Do. Welcome
to Why We Do what we Do Mini. I'm your host,
Abraham and that Mero Shane. We are a psychology podcast.
We talk about the things that humans and non human
(00:25):
animals do and sometimes when they just fall apart. This
is a mini format. We release these on Mondays. There
are a short form sort of discussion. We try and
get in and out of there in fifteen minutes or
less is the goal. Sometimes we accomplish that, sometimes we don't.
Who knows what today is going to be, but you're
here for it. We appreciate it, so thank you for
joining us. If you're here for the first time, then
we hope that you joined this episode. And if you
(00:47):
have not done so already. Even if you have done
so already, you can support us by liking, subscribing, telling
a friend, joining us on Patreon. I'll talk more about
those discussions or those things at the end of this discussion.
Not those discussions, but those strategies. But I think that
is we're jumping into this thing. Is there anything I
missed or you'd like to add before we talk about
our topic?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Dujuur, No, let's talk about my life not just kidding.
Le's talk yeah, let's talk about like, let's talk about this.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Yeah, all right. If you didn't see the title, or
even if you did, well, tease it a little bit.
You might see people in their forties and fifties who
are going through some things. They're getting divorced, they might
be buying fancy cars, they might be quitting or starting
new jobs, and you look at them and you think
to yourself, they're going through a midlife crisis. Well, if
(01:34):
you're in the United States, you might be thinking that
at least spoiler.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Spoiler, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
So midlife crises are tumultuous times adults experience as they
head into the middle of their lifetime, as the name suggests,
often characterized by what appears to be impulsive, irresponsible, and desperate.
These behaviors seem to indicate these poor adults are confronted
by the fact that they are moving into the twilight
years of their life, an attempt to recapture their youth
(01:59):
by acting, I guess youthful. Yeah, I never bought a
fancy car when I was youthful, but I guess I
was impulsive.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Sure, yeah, something like that. Maybe they like get a
new partner who is significantly younger than them, all kinds
of stuff. We're going to unpack what midlife crises are
and what science has to say about this. So let's
start with some basic descriptions, as we kind of already did. Yeah,
let's talk about midlife crises.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Yeah, so, the.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Midlife age ranges from thirty to seventy, but more consistently
as identified as forty to sixty, with thirty nine being
a specific COSPA, which if some of the effects of
a midlife crisis are going to happen, they'll likely happen here.
So thankfully I'm on the other side of that.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
At least that's what they say.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
One source that we found listed some warning signs that
someone might be experiencing a midlife crisis, that they're feeling
trapped in the momentum of your life, obsessively comparing yourself
to others, feeling trapped in a dull career, having nightmare
as an anxiety, questioning life decisions, with drawing from friends
and family, feeling a need to escape, and feeling like
(03:06):
you have no one to talk to or to support
you through any of those things. That's sort of the
sort of emotional signals that they indicate you might be
experiencing a midlife crisis.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, And as we mentioned, the stereotype cliche is buying
expensive things such as fancy cars, or suddenly changing careers,
or getting divorced or possibly starting a new relationship with
the younger partner. Those tend to be kind of like
the flagship the hallmarks of a real good midlife crisis.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
It's great, I'll think, yeah. And there are some studies
that show that life satisfaction does tend to decrease over
time with age, particularly as we're getting into this section
of thirties and particularly the forties and whatnot, and it
often kind of decreases from there onward. There are some
data to suggest that once you sort of get out
of that range that maybe goes back up, but mostly
(03:57):
it sort of says as you're hitting this sort of
mid point here, that life satisfaction decreases. Many psychologists have
pointed out that there are a lot of stressors that
can start emerging during this time as well. You've got
children who are leaving the house, maybe even graduating college
and going off to other places. There can be fights
with the spouse that are going on work can have
(04:17):
a lot of responsibilities and deadlines, and even could be
at the point where people maybe are feeling a little
pushed out because they've been in their career for a
long time and have newer people coming in friends and family.
You start will get to get you to the point
where people are starting to pass away at a slightly
higher rate, which can be very difficult and traumatic to
deal with. And although midlife crises can technically happen to anyone,
(04:41):
they do seem particularly stereotypically more likely to happen among men.
And in that group of people, there is some who
have claimed that there is silence suffering. They're not really
talking about the fact that they're feeling these things, that
they're going through these things, and so it sometimes all
of the sudden, their behavior seems to kind of come
(05:03):
out of nowhere when they are not sharing their thoughts
and feelings about those sort of situations. So that's all
kind of stuff that we do see that is more
or less backed up by some amount of studies, research, science, observation,
self report, et cetera.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah, now there are some caveats on pack here. Let's
start with the fact that that's her midlife crisis was
coined by psychoanalyst Elliott Jacques, that is, a Freudian psychologist
in nineteen sixty. So this is a recent phenomenon. This
is not something that was happening to Victorian era powdered
wig wearing nerds like this was happening. This is only
(05:41):
a recent at least the name suggests this is a
recent phenomenon.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Right, yeah, only the last sixty some odd years. Like
That's that was interesting to me to think that, like, wow,
this is you would think that this is like an
idea that had been around for quite a while. And
although for younger people sixty some odd years probably sounds
like a crazy amount of times. I mean, that's what
the reason, like that was within the last century that
this was coined initially.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Not a long time for science.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Not a long time for science. And then yeah, as
we said, immediate red flag when a psychoanalyst claims anything
about how behavior works, or when they introduce an ad.
All right, we're back. We've been talking about the origins
(06:27):
of this idea, or at least the term for a
midlife crisis.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Now.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Ironically, Carl Jung, a contemporary of Freud who didn't really
call himself a psychoanalyst, but for all intents and purposes,
he was young saw midlife slightly differently, writing that quote,
midlife was a time when previously suppressed aspects of the
psyche might become integrated. Men could recover their unconscious feminine
(06:52):
side or anima previous submerged during their youth, and women
come alive to their hidden opposite or the animus. And
I don't really know what he's trying to say there,
but it seems like he's indicating that, like, we maybe
go through some evolutionary psychologically evolutionary type steps, but that
doesn't necessarily mean that they are counterproductive or harmful. Sure, yeah,
(07:19):
that's my response.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Yeah, it's kind of like I'm just like all right, like.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Those are things you said, Yeah, those are things.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
That you said.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
It sounds like one of those like influencers who's like
a wellness influencer, just saying stuff and they're like sure,
like that's this.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
You know.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Anyway, there is a reason to be skeptical about theories
that come with from psychoanalysts. And it's not just us
going like, oh, well, psychoanalysis blah blah blah, Like there's
a reason why. And to add to that that while
some studies show decrease life satisfaction, the actual decrease was
pretty minuscule and not very significant. So like our current
body of literature suggests that life satisfaction is probably not
(07:55):
as important or as much of a factor in this
as like it could be made out to be, well, but.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
It actually doesn't go down that much. They're like, they
do see a decrease, but it was like, right, from
a five point zero to a four point nine, And
I'm like, right, that is a decrease, but is it
an important decrease?
Speaker 3 (08:11):
You know? Right?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
And furthermore, a longitudinal study at least one show that
adults forty one to fifty became less neurotic and self conscious,
so they're like just more secure and who they were.
Another one showed that women from forty three to fifty
two became less dependent and self critical and they became
more confident, responsible, and decisive, so again sort of more
(08:33):
assured and more comfortable with who they were and everything.
So that does to me raise the inquiry of, like,
how were those questionnaires set up in phrase that you
would get these very different sort of reports, Because that's
a really relevant consideration is like, did you tee them
up to answer in the way that you thought that
you wanted them to answer, even if that wasn't necessarily
(08:53):
the intent. That does happen. Sometimes we're not necessarily considering
our bias when designing these questionnaires that may or may
not be a very accurate representation of how we think
and feel. They are not.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Right now, only about ten to twenty percent of adult
experience anything even remotely resembling a crisis, which rarely or
never reaches a full blown crisis.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
That's a fairly rare phenomenon.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yeah, so it's like, this isn't an inevitable part of
adulthood either. It's like, should anybody experience anything like this,
It's a relatively small amount and it never actually like
becomes a crisis, or almost never. In the extent to
which people experience some sort of midlife crisis or midlife distress,
it's usually better explained by things like life circumstances, some
amount of culture, the context that's relevant for that person,
(09:39):
and not really explained by just the age. Like that
seems to be the implication of the idea of the
midlife crisis is it's because you've entered midlife and that's
the reason that these things are happening. And it's actually like, no,
there's things are happening around you that happen to happen
during midlife. That tends to be somewhat distressing for some people.
Parents whose children are growd when in college might suddenly
(10:01):
find themselves with a bunch more income that they weren't
spending when they had kids, a bunch more time that
they weren't spending when they had kids. And they also
might be senior enough in their position at work that
their work has become more flexible. So all of a sudden,
they got disposable income and time on their hands, and
they're like having fun with it. It's not a crisis.
They're just like, hey, cool, I got some stuff I
can do now.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Right exactly, it's free time, baby. They start spending more
freely because they can. Sometimes they realize that their relationship
was only being held together by their kids, and with
them out of the equation, they discovered they don't want
to stay in their relationships. I mean, parenting is really complex,
and when you don't have time to talk to another
person and there are no children involved, and then you go, oh,
(10:41):
you're a different person than when we first met, Like
that can be really complicated to navigate, exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, And that just relationships change. People grow and change,
and sometimes they don't evolve together, they evolve apart. Yeah,
And that can happen sometimes, and like when there's not
really a reason for them to suffer each other any longer,
they sort of feel like, well, I think we did
the thing. Let's go our separate ways now, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
And now that that happens, that often either, Like it's
like a lot of people also stick through and they
do just fine. It's just it could happen. There's this
sort of relative swath of people for whom that will
be true. Now, there might be some people who do
find themselves confronted by their most mortality, possibly because they
live in a culture that emphasizes the importance of youth.
They it might be a culture that emphasizes the lack
(11:26):
of utility of elderly people, and that could potentially make
some people start to question their self worth as they're
heading into that segment of the age range. So if
the culture supports it and it emphasizes it, and it's
in the zeitgeist, the awareness of people probably more likely
to happen as well.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Right Relatedly, it seems to be a Western English speaking,
possibly largely American phenomenon. Many other cultures don't even have
the idea of a midlife crisis or even a midlife
age range. So this is uniquely it feels like at
least a uniquely American thing.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Yes, at least sort of Western English speaking type thing.
But it does seem largely like it is a United
States potential United States problem. Yeah, like other people that like,
what is midlife? What does that mean? They don't have
language for that because they've never considered that that was
a thing that needed to be delineated as a part
of your developmental trajectory. Sure, So all this leaves us
(12:20):
with is is there even such a thing as a
midlife crisis? Uh? Kind of maybe for some people, but
mostly because as we head into that part of our
lives in which we're experiencing a lot of circumstantial changes
that can come with different ways of responding to those changes.
Some of those are very helpful and positive, some of
(12:41):
them are distressing and difficult. Sure, and that just means that,
like when we become faced with these major life changes,
our priorities can change. Sometimes what seemed like it was
really important, maybe it doesn't seem so important anymore. Something
that didn't use to seem so important suddenly starts to
feel kind of important. That just happens when we go
through big, like major changes, like all of a sudden,
(13:02):
our kids are completely gone, all of a sudden, Like
I'm realizing I don't really like this person I've been
with this whole time, you know whatever, all of a sudden,
like I'm realizing that, Like I don't have a lot
of potential for advancment in my career. Maybe I look
elsewhere and see what else I can potentially do that
would bring me more joy. And sometimes none of those
things happen. Most of the time, none of those things happen.
So it's like, right, there doesn't seem to be the crisis,
(13:24):
and it doesn't seem to happen that often if it
does happen at all, right, exactly, And of course, what
we was gonna leave with, Like there are some people
who expressed in some of the resources that I found,
at least a lot there are people who expressed a
lot of concern over the rates of suicide that can
happen among this group. We are at a time right
now in our country where it seems like deaths that
(13:44):
are related to despair and suicide are very high at
the moment. This tends to happen in conservative administrations. The
data are there, just look it up. We have a
particularly aggressively dangerous one right now, and that does seem
to be correlated with those insan and that could be
really tough for people to deal with. And that is
a thing that we're more likely to face the longer
that we stay alive. And so that is something that's
(14:06):
related to the midlife experience. If you or someone you
know is experiencing thoughts of self harm or distress that
may result in self harm or harmed others, please call
nine to eight eight. That is the national hotline. You
can reach and talk to somebody who can help work
you through those work with you through those issues for sure.
All right, I think that's what we have to say
about midlife crises. They may or may not be a thing.
Is there anything you would like to add that I
(14:26):
forgot before we wrap this up?
Speaker 3 (14:28):
No, I think that covers all of it perfect Well.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
We're right about fifteen minutes, so I'll try and do
this quick. If you'd like to support us, you can
leave us a rating and a review like subscribe at
Tell a Friend or join us on Patreon. If you
do that, you'll get some extra goodies and add free episodes,
and I will shout your name out at the end
of our full length discussions. If you like to leave
us your thoughts about midlife crises, please email us. You
can contact us directly at info at wwdwwdpodcast dot com,
(14:50):
and we do look forward to hearing from you. But
this is way you have to say about this, and
we're at our time for a mini so let's go
ahead and close it out here. This is Abraham, mister Shane,
Why We Do what We Do? Any is out.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
You've been listening to Why We Do What We Do.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
You can learn more about this and other episodes by
going to WWD WWD.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Podcast dot com.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Thanks for listening, and we hope you have an awesome day.
You're listening to Why We Do what we Do. Welcome
to Why We Do what we Do Mini. I'm your host,
Abraham and that Mero Shane. We are a psychology podcast.
We talk about the things that humans and non human
(00:25):
animals do and sometimes when they just fall apart. This
is a mini format. We release these on Mondays. There
are a short form sort of discussion. We try and
get in and out of there in fifteen minutes or
less is the goal. Sometimes we accomplish that, sometimes we don't.
Who knows what today is going to be, but you're
here for it. We appreciate it, so thank you for
joining us. If you're here for the first time, then
we hope that you joined this episode. And if you
(00:47):
have not done so already. Even if you have done
so already, you can support us by liking, subscribing, telling
a friend, joining us on Patreon. I'll talk more about
those discussions or those things at the end of this discussion.
Not those discussions, but those strategies. But I think that
is we're jumping into this thing. Is there anything I
missed or you'd like to add before we talk about
our topic?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Dujuur, No, let's talk about my life not just kidding.
Le's talk yeah, let's talk about like, let's talk about this.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Yeah, all right. If you didn't see the title, or
even if you did, well, tease it a little bit.
You might see people in their forties and fifties who
are going through some things. They're getting divorced, they might
be buying fancy cars, they might be quitting or starting
new jobs, and you look at them and you think
to yourself, they're going through a midlife crisis. Well, if
(01:34):
you're in the United States, you might be thinking that
at least spoiler.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Spoiler, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
So midlife crises are tumultuous times adults experience as they
head into the middle of their lifetime, as the name suggests,
often characterized by what appears to be impulsive, irresponsible, and desperate.
These behaviors seem to indicate these poor adults are confronted
by the fact that they are moving into the twilight
years of their life, an attempt to recapture their youth
(01:59):
by acting, I guess youthful. Yeah, I never bought a
fancy car when I was youthful, but I guess I
was impulsive.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Sure, yeah, something like that. Maybe they like get a
new partner who is significantly younger than them, all kinds
of stuff. We're going to unpack what midlife crises are
and what science has to say about this. So let's
start with some basic descriptions, as we kind of already did. Yeah,
let's talk about midlife crises.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Yeah, so, the.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Midlife age ranges from thirty to seventy, but more consistently
as identified as forty to sixty, with thirty nine being
a specific COSPA, which if some of the effects of
a midlife crisis are going to happen, they'll likely happen here.
So thankfully I'm on the other side of that.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
At least that's what they say.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
One source that we found listed some warning signs that
someone might be experiencing a midlife crisis, that they're feeling
trapped in the momentum of your life, obsessively comparing yourself
to others, feeling trapped in a dull career, having nightmare
as an anxiety, questioning life decisions, with drawing from friends
and family, feeling a need to escape, and feeling like
(03:06):
you have no one to talk to or to support
you through any of those things. That's sort of the
sort of emotional signals that they indicate you might be
experiencing a midlife crisis.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, And as we mentioned, the stereotype cliche is buying
expensive things such as fancy cars, or suddenly changing careers,
or getting divorced or possibly starting a new relationship with
the younger partner. Those tend to be kind of like
the flagship the hallmarks of a real good midlife crisis.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
It's great, I'll think, yeah. And there are some studies
that show that life satisfaction does tend to decrease over
time with age, particularly as we're getting into this section
of thirties and particularly the forties and whatnot, and it
often kind of decreases from there onward. There are some
data to suggest that once you sort of get out
of that range that maybe goes back up, but mostly
(03:57):
it sort of says as you're hitting this sort of
mid point here, that life satisfaction decreases. Many psychologists have
pointed out that there are a lot of stressors that
can start emerging during this time as well. You've got
children who are leaving the house, maybe even graduating college
and going off to other places. There can be fights
with the spouse that are going on work can have
(04:17):
a lot of responsibilities and deadlines, and even could be
at the point where people maybe are feeling a little
pushed out because they've been in their career for a
long time and have newer people coming in friends and family.
You start will get to get you to the point
where people are starting to pass away at a slightly
higher rate, which can be very difficult and traumatic to
deal with. And although midlife crises can technically happen to anyone,
(04:41):
they do seem particularly stereotypically more likely to happen among men.
And in that group of people, there is some who
have claimed that there is silence suffering. They're not really
talking about the fact that they're feeling these things, that
they're going through these things, and so it sometimes all
of the sudden, their behavior seems to kind of come
(05:03):
out of nowhere when they are not sharing their thoughts
and feelings about those sort of situations. So that's all
kind of stuff that we do see that is more
or less backed up by some amount of studies, research, science, observation,
self report, et cetera.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah, now there are some caveats on pack here. Let's
start with the fact that that's her midlife crisis was
coined by psychoanalyst Elliott Jacques, that is, a Freudian psychologist
in nineteen sixty. So this is a recent phenomenon. This
is not something that was happening to Victorian era powdered
wig wearing nerds like this was happening. This is only
(05:41):
a recent at least the name suggests this is a
recent phenomenon.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Right, yeah, only the last sixty some odd years. Like
That's that was interesting to me to think that, like, wow,
this is you would think that this is like an
idea that had been around for quite a while. And
although for younger people sixty some odd years probably sounds
like a crazy amount of times. I mean, that's what
the reason, like that was within the last century that
this was coined initially.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Not a long time for science.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Not a long time for science. And then yeah, as
we said, immediate red flag when a psychoanalyst claims anything
about how behavior works, or when they introduce an ad.
All right, we're back. We've been talking about the origins
(06:27):
of this idea, or at least the term for a
midlife crisis.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Now.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Ironically, Carl Jung, a contemporary of Freud who didn't really
call himself a psychoanalyst, but for all intents and purposes,
he was young saw midlife slightly differently, writing that quote,
midlife was a time when previously suppressed aspects of the
psyche might become integrated. Men could recover their unconscious feminine
(06:52):
side or anima previous submerged during their youth, and women
come alive to their hidden opposite or the animus. And
I don't really know what he's trying to say there,
but it seems like he's indicating that, like, we maybe
go through some evolutionary psychologically evolutionary type steps, but that
doesn't necessarily mean that they are counterproductive or harmful. Sure, yeah,
(07:19):
that's my response.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Yeah, it's kind of like I'm just like all right, like.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Those are things you said, Yeah, those are things.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
That you said.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
It sounds like one of those like influencers who's like
a wellness influencer, just saying stuff and they're like sure,
like that's this.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
You know.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Anyway, there is a reason to be skeptical about theories
that come with from psychoanalysts. And it's not just us
going like, oh, well, psychoanalysis blah blah blah, Like there's
a reason why. And to add to that that while
some studies show decrease life satisfaction, the actual decrease was
pretty minuscule and not very significant. So like our current
body of literature suggests that life satisfaction is probably not
(07:55):
as important or as much of a factor in this
as like it could be made out to be, well, but.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
It actually doesn't go down that much. They're like, they
do see a decrease, but it was like, right, from
a five point zero to a four point nine, And
I'm like, right, that is a decrease, but is it
an important decrease?
Speaker 3 (08:11):
You know? Right?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
And furthermore, a longitudinal study at least one show that
adults forty one to fifty became less neurotic and self conscious,
so they're like just more secure and who they were.
Another one showed that women from forty three to fifty
two became less dependent and self critical and they became
more confident, responsible, and decisive, so again sort of more
(08:33):
assured and more comfortable with who they were and everything.
So that does to me raise the inquiry of, like,
how were those questionnaires set up in phrase that you
would get these very different sort of reports, Because that's
a really relevant consideration is like, did you tee them
up to answer in the way that you thought that
you wanted them to answer, even if that wasn't necessarily
(08:53):
the intent. That does happen. Sometimes we're not necessarily considering
our bias when designing these questionnaires that may or may
not be a very accurate representation of how we think
and feel. They are not.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Right now, only about ten to twenty percent of adult
experience anything even remotely resembling a crisis, which rarely or
never reaches a full blown crisis.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
That's a fairly rare phenomenon.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yeah, so it's like, this isn't an inevitable part of
adulthood either. It's like, should anybody experience anything like this,
It's a relatively small amount and it never actually like
becomes a crisis, or almost never. In the extent to
which people experience some sort of midlife crisis or midlife distress,
it's usually better explained by things like life circumstances, some
amount of culture, the context that's relevant for that person,
(09:39):
and not really explained by just the age. Like that
seems to be the implication of the idea of the
midlife crisis is it's because you've entered midlife and that's
the reason that these things are happening. And it's actually like, no,
there's things are happening around you that happen to happen
during midlife. That tends to be somewhat distressing for some people.
Parents whose children are growd when in college might suddenly
(10:01):
find themselves with a bunch more income that they weren't
spending when they had kids, a bunch more time that
they weren't spending when they had kids. And they also
might be senior enough in their position at work that
their work has become more flexible. So all of a sudden,
they got disposable income and time on their hands, and
they're like having fun with it. It's not a crisis.
They're just like, hey, cool, I got some stuff I
can do now.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Right exactly, it's free time, baby. They start spending more
freely because they can. Sometimes they realize that their relationship
was only being held together by their kids, and with
them out of the equation, they discovered they don't want
to stay in their relationships. I mean, parenting is really complex,
and when you don't have time to talk to another
person and there are no children involved, and then you go, oh,
(10:41):
you're a different person than when we first met, Like
that can be really complicated to navigate, exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, And that just relationships change. People grow and change,
and sometimes they don't evolve together, they evolve apart. Yeah,
And that can happen sometimes, and like when there's not
really a reason for them to suffer each other any longer,
they sort of feel like, well, I think we did
the thing. Let's go our separate ways now, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
And now that that happens, that often either, Like it's
like a lot of people also stick through and they
do just fine. It's just it could happen. There's this
sort of relative swath of people for whom that will
be true. Now, there might be some people who do
find themselves confronted by their most mortality, possibly because they
live in a culture that emphasizes the importance of youth.
They it might be a culture that emphasizes the lack
(11:26):
of utility of elderly people, and that could potentially make
some people start to question their self worth as they're
heading into that segment of the age range. So if
the culture supports it and it emphasizes it, and it's
in the zeitgeist, the awareness of people probably more likely
to happen as well.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Right Relatedly, it seems to be a Western English speaking,
possibly largely American phenomenon. Many other cultures don't even have
the idea of a midlife crisis or even a midlife
age range. So this is uniquely it feels like at
least a uniquely American thing.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Yes, at least sort of Western English speaking type thing.
But it does seem largely like it is a United
States potential United States problem. Yeah, like other people that like,
what is midlife? What does that mean? They don't have
language for that because they've never considered that that was
a thing that needed to be delineated as a part
of your developmental trajectory. Sure, So all this leaves us
(12:20):
with is is there even such a thing as a
midlife crisis? Uh? Kind of maybe for some people, but
mostly because as we head into that part of our
lives in which we're experiencing a lot of circumstantial changes
that can come with different ways of responding to those changes.
Some of those are very helpful and positive, some of
(12:41):
them are distressing and difficult. Sure, and that just means that,
like when we become faced with these major life changes,
our priorities can change. Sometimes what seemed like it was
really important, maybe it doesn't seem so important anymore. Something
that didn't use to seem so important suddenly starts to
feel kind of important. That just happens when we go
through big, like major changes, like all of a sudden,
(13:02):
our kids are completely gone, all of a sudden, Like
I'm realizing I don't really like this person I've been
with this whole time, you know whatever, all of a sudden,
like I'm realizing that, Like I don't have a lot
of potential for advancment in my career. Maybe I look
elsewhere and see what else I can potentially do that
would bring me more joy. And sometimes none of those
things happen. Most of the time, none of those things happen.
So it's like, right, there doesn't seem to be the crisis,
(13:24):
and it doesn't seem to happen that often if it
does happen at all, right, exactly, And of course, what
we was gonna leave with, Like there are some people
who expressed in some of the resources that I found,
at least a lot there are people who expressed a
lot of concern over the rates of suicide that can
happen among this group. We are at a time right
now in our country where it seems like deaths that
(13:44):
are related to despair and suicide are very high at
the moment. This tends to happen in conservative administrations. The
data are there, just look it up. We have a
particularly aggressively dangerous one right now, and that does seem
to be correlated with those insan and that could be
really tough for people to deal with. And that is
a thing that we're more likely to face the longer
that we stay alive. And so that is something that's
(14:06):
related to the midlife experience. If you or someone you
know is experiencing thoughts of self harm or distress that
may result in self harm or harmed others, please call
nine to eight eight. That is the national hotline. You
can reach and talk to somebody who can help work
you through those work with you through those issues for sure.
All right, I think that's what we have to say
about midlife crises. They may or may not be a thing.
Is there anything you would like to add that I
(14:26):
forgot before we wrap this up?
Speaker 3 (14:28):
No, I think that covers all of it perfect Well.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
We're right about fifteen minutes, so I'll try and do
this quick. If you'd like to support us, you can
leave us a rating and a review like subscribe at
Tell a Friend or join us on Patreon. If you
do that, you'll get some extra goodies and add free episodes,
and I will shout your name out at the end
of our full length discussions. If you like to leave
us your thoughts about midlife crises, please email us. You
can contact us directly at info at wwdwwdpodcast dot com,
(14:50):
and we do look forward to hearing from you. But
this is way you have to say about this, and
we're at our time for a mini so let's go
ahead and close it out here. This is Abraham, mister Shane,
Why We Do what We Do? Any is out.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
You've been listening to Why We Do What We Do.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
You can learn more about this and other episodes by
going to WWD WWD.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Podcast dot com.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Thanks for listening, and we hope you have an awesome day.
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