May 12, 2026 • 10 mins
🎤 PODCAST: Fear of Dying - For two years I have had many thoughts about dying.
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#emotions #fear_of_dying #death #counseling #mental_health #self_help #objectivism #stress #therapy #psychology #happiness
Dr. Kenner's public service broadcast is in its 27th year.
Free Relationship Advice
Download chapter one of Dr. Kenner’s romance guidebook for free at https://www.drkenner.com
• This episode is at https://bit.ly/47IVwXk
• Hundreds of podcasts sorted by topic https://bit.ly/3qh6BX7
✦ Free Relationship Advice ~ download chapter one of Dr. Kenner’s romance guidebook for free at https://www.drkenner.com
• Listen to caller's personal dramas four times each week
#emotions #fear_of_dying #death #counseling #mental_health #self_help #objectivism #stress #therapy #psychology #happiness
Dr. Kenner's public service broadcast is in its 27th year.
Free Relationship Advice
Download chapter one of Dr. Kenner’s romance guidebook for free at https://www.drkenner.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
The Selfish Parts or Romance.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Download chapter one for free at doctor Kenner dot com
and at Amazon dot com.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
And I want to go to the phones now and
welcome Alexandria.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hello.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Hi, Do you have a question about dying?
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Yes, well, I mean the treeing is I've been having
this kind of weird phobus for about two years and
it sometimes hits me during my birthday.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
How old are you?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Well today, I'm twenty four.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Okay, our happy birthday, thank you. Oh, I guess it's
not a happy one if you're afraid of dying, right, yeah, Okay,
we'll try to put a dent in that, see if
you can get some pleasure from it.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And it's I mean, I mean usually I can get
away these thoughts pretty fast by thinking of something else. Okay,
So you keep I keep picturing, you know, my funeral
on my desk and me dying young. Yeah, I'm feel
awful about it. Right now, I'm engaged, yeah, and my
fiance is going into the army. The extra it seems
kind of uncertain of what will be so I kind
(01:04):
of think is that the reason I'm not sure?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Okay, So having phobias before he started on the army Okay,
so you're doing something wonderful for yourself. Whenever you have
intrusive thoughts, thoughts that you don't want to be there.
Sometimes they even call pop up thoughts. They just pop
into your mind and yet don't want them there. How
do you pop them back out of your mind? And
(01:29):
how do you do it in a way where they
don't get a foothole in there? Again? So what?
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Yeah, go ahead, Well, before I mean, like now, thinking constantly,
I've been thinking about it constantly for about a week
or two. Yeah, but before I would think about stupid things,
I would think about Star Wars, or I would think
about something something that would change my mind.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Okay, so you use distraction. The good thing you're doing
is you're focusing on it to get rid of it.
It's a problem to solve, and when any of us
have a psychological problem, if we don't focus on the
problem to solve it, Alexandria, then we're never going to
fix it. So you're focusing on it, and you're identifying
some very important facts. One is that it started two
(02:17):
years ago. Two that you've had some limited success with
using distraction thinking about stupid things. You called it, right, Yeah,
Three that you know that there's a component that may
be related to the fact that your boyfriend or your
fiance is going into the army and that is scary,
(02:38):
and he doesn't know where he will be stationed, and
that is a potential life threatening situation, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yes. So the thing is that recently I've started to
see like like I feel like I'm foretelling my own desks,
like he's thinking of like seeing hints like on television. Yeah,
someone mentioned the funeral or badness. Okay, even though I
know it's no big deal.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Imagination is wonderful if you're creating playful Disney movies. Imagination
is horrible if you're.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Hey, I got to interrupt this because we've got to
pay some bills.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Thirty seconds.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
That's it. A very quick ad, and then Allen will
be back. Romance. I wish I knew more about what
girls want from a relationship. Well, I wish I knew
more about what I want.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Where's it? Ad?
Speaker 4 (03:25):
I saw here? It is The Selfish Path to Romance,
a serious romance guidebook. Download chapter one for free at
selfish romance dot com and buy it at Amazon dot com. Huh,
The Selfish Path to romance that is interesting.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Imagination is horrible if you're playing with your own mind
and envisioning, inviting in and rehearsing scary horror movie scenarios.
This is right out of horror movie stuff, right, Yeah,
So you can just tell you change the channel. You
can use a method of saying I Am not going
to rehearse the stinking thought anymore. This is called stinking thinking.
(04:07):
In Rhode Island, we wouldn't put the g's on the end.
It would just be stinking thinking. And that is a
cognitive therapy term. That used a therapy term stinking thinking.
You want when I have thinking, Alexandria, I want to
figure out is there any merit to this? For example,
if I'm twenty four, I'm meaning Ellen. If I'm twenty
(04:28):
four years old and I think I am faring my
own death, well do I have cancer? If the answer
is no, then I'd say, well what else? Is there
anything in reality that would tell me that I am
facing imminent death? And if I lived in a concentration camp,
I'd say, well, yeah, but I don't. So if you
(04:50):
don't have any facts that support you're dying, that should
help go ahead.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Well, the problem is is that I will I thought
an event I after love the doctors. So since I
had a small problem was nothing big. It was just
something with my birth control. And it actually this thought
actually happens a lot when I'm when I'm on a period. Also,
(05:18):
I found out for my grandmother recently that we have
the stick fibrosis of the uterus. Okay, me, even though
I know it's not deadly, it still kind of hears
me a bit.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Okay, you can you need a way to manage that
if First of all, you need to give yourself alternative thoughts,
because if you're subconscious, if your mind only has a
menu of stinky thoughts, the stinking thinking thoughts, then it's
going to choose something stinking to think about, right, But
if you have it's well, let's just say, for me,
(05:50):
I'm thinking, oh my god, what if I die? What
if I die of cystic fibrosis. What's another possibility? What
if I don't die? Yes, what if I never get it? Right?
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yeah, that's the thing is it's I know it's not
to stick by roses of a tenant people buy phone
because if that was the case, my grandparents would be dead.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Okay, So this is the good thinking you're doing. You're
you're using reason and facts, facts first, and reasoning from
those facts to make a lie of your scary horror
movie thoughts. You're saying, I never had to think about it,
and you want to get to the point where you
can just laugh at those thoughts. They come up and
(06:33):
you say, I'm not playing that game anymore. I'm not
going to indulge this thinking. I'm not going to envision
my funeral. I'm so young, you are so young that
I am. I refuse to play that game. I Am
going to enjoy my life and think about having some
fun and think about good things with my fiance and
(06:55):
enjoy what I have.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah, I mean the thing that fount We've been together
almost every day for six years. Yeah, and he's going
to be gone for five months.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Oh, you need a way to handle that. There are
support groups, army support groups. Are you aware of them?
I'm assuming you are.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
You may have, and you may not like the particular group.
You may want to find another. You may not like groups,
and that way you need to find some friends. You
do need to build a parallel life with things you love, doing,
things that are hobbies, interests. You could you could go
to a bookstore of Bonds and Nobles and look at
their magazines to pick up a new hobby if you
(07:37):
don't have one. I do have one question, if it's
okay with you, and that's what happened two years ago
that you got this phobia.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
I have no idea. I mean, it just came out of.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Nowhere, Okay, I thought, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I thought that it could have been because I was
also on my period when I first thought of it.
Maybe since then, I've kind of linked my period with dying, okay.
And also I was in the middle of writing a
story where the main character dies.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Okay, you are magnificent. Do you notice you went from
I don't know to two really good possibilities because that
could have caused it in one sentence. I mean, if
you're a writer, that was pretty darn good. So you're
If you're a mystery writer, you just solved your own mystery,
or at least you're on the way to it. So
(08:26):
if you mentally associated your period to with dying, and
if you had a character and a plot in your
story that was dying and then you kind of took
that upon yourself, I'm not surprised, and you're not surprised. Listen.
I think you're doing some really good thinking work and
I would recommend cognitive therapy. You could go to my
(08:48):
website Doctor Kenner dot com and I have a link
to a cognitive therapy website, and there are also good
cognitive therapy books on my website, one of them as
mind Over. Thank you so much for the call, Alexandria,
Thank you very March. You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
For more Doctor Kenner podcast, go to Dr Kenner dot
com and please listen to this that.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Here's an excerpt from The Selfish Path to Romance, the
Serious Romance guidebook by clinical psychologists doctor Ellen Kenner and
doctor Edwin Locke.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
It is not the case that all the money's partners
have has to be jointly managed, but a couple should
always discuss important money matters together. Both partners should know
how much money they have, where it is, how it's invested,
what future income to expect, and the details of their
expenses and debts. It might be necessary to have an
(09:38):
agreed upon household budget. If problems arise, they should be
discussed together before any decisions are made. A partner should
share information about financial problems and his or her business,
and both should fully understand all financial aspects of wills
and other legal documents such as leases or property titles.
(10:00):
If you do not have a will, be sure to
write one.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
You can download chapter one for free by going to
doctor Kenner dot com, and you can buy the book
at Amazon dot com
The Selfish Parts or Romance.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Download chapter one for free at doctor Kenner dot com
and at Amazon dot com.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
And I want to go to the phones now and
welcome Alexandria.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hello.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Hi, Do you have a question about dying?
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Yes, well, I mean the treeing is I've been having
this kind of weird phobus for about two years and
it sometimes hits me during my birthday.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
How old are you?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Well today, I'm twenty four.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Okay, our happy birthday, thank you. Oh, I guess it's
not a happy one if you're afraid of dying, right, yeah, Okay,
we'll try to put a dent in that, see if
you can get some pleasure from it.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And it's I mean, I mean usually I can get
away these thoughts pretty fast by thinking of something else. Okay,
So you keep I keep picturing, you know, my funeral
on my desk and me dying young. Yeah, I'm feel
awful about it. Right now, I'm engaged, yeah, and my
fiance is going into the army. The extra it seems
kind of uncertain of what will be so I kind
(01:04):
of think is that the reason I'm not sure?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Okay, So having phobias before he started on the army Okay,
so you're doing something wonderful for yourself. Whenever you have
intrusive thoughts, thoughts that you don't want to be there.
Sometimes they even call pop up thoughts. They just pop
into your mind and yet don't want them there. How
do you pop them back out of your mind? And
(01:29):
how do you do it in a way where they
don't get a foothole in there? Again? So what?
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Yeah, go ahead, Well, before I mean, like now, thinking constantly,
I've been thinking about it constantly for about a week
or two. Yeah, but before I would think about stupid things,
I would think about Star Wars, or I would think
about something something that would change my mind.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Okay, so you use distraction. The good thing you're doing
is you're focusing on it to get rid of it.
It's a problem to solve, and when any of us
have a psychological problem, if we don't focus on the
problem to solve it, Alexandria, then we're never going to
fix it. So you're focusing on it, and you're identifying
some very important facts. One is that it started two
(02:17):
years ago. Two that you've had some limited success with
using distraction thinking about stupid things. You called it, right, Yeah,
Three that you know that there's a component that may
be related to the fact that your boyfriend or your
fiance is going into the army and that is scary,
(02:38):
and he doesn't know where he will be stationed, and
that is a potential life threatening situation, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yes. So the thing is that recently I've started to
see like like I feel like I'm foretelling my own desks,
like he's thinking of like seeing hints like on television. Yeah,
someone mentioned the funeral or badness. Okay, even though I
know it's no big deal.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Imagination is wonderful if you're creating playful Disney movies. Imagination
is horrible if you're.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Hey, I got to interrupt this because we've got to
pay some bills.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Thirty seconds.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
That's it. A very quick ad, and then Allen will
be back. Romance. I wish I knew more about what
girls want from a relationship. Well, I wish I knew
more about what I want.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Where's it? Ad?
Speaker 4 (03:25):
I saw here? It is The Selfish Path to Romance,
a serious romance guidebook. Download chapter one for free at
selfish romance dot com and buy it at Amazon dot com. Huh,
The Selfish Path to romance that is interesting.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Imagination is horrible if you're playing with your own mind
and envisioning, inviting in and rehearsing scary horror movie scenarios.
This is right out of horror movie stuff, right, Yeah,
So you can just tell you change the channel. You
can use a method of saying I Am not going
to rehearse the stinking thought anymore. This is called stinking thinking.
(04:07):
In Rhode Island, we wouldn't put the g's on the end.
It would just be stinking thinking. And that is a
cognitive therapy term. That used a therapy term stinking thinking.
You want when I have thinking, Alexandria, I want to
figure out is there any merit to this? For example,
if I'm twenty four, I'm meaning Ellen. If I'm twenty
(04:28):
four years old and I think I am faring my
own death, well do I have cancer? If the answer
is no, then I'd say, well what else? Is there
anything in reality that would tell me that I am
facing imminent death? And if I lived in a concentration camp,
I'd say, well, yeah, but I don't. So if you
(04:50):
don't have any facts that support you're dying, that should
help go ahead.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Well, the problem is is that I will I thought
an event I after love the doctors. So since I
had a small problem was nothing big. It was just
something with my birth control. And it actually this thought
actually happens a lot when I'm when I'm on a period. Also,
(05:18):
I found out for my grandmother recently that we have
the stick fibrosis of the uterus. Okay, me, even though
I know it's not deadly, it still kind of hears
me a bit.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Okay, you can you need a way to manage that
if First of all, you need to give yourself alternative thoughts,
because if you're subconscious, if your mind only has a
menu of stinky thoughts, the stinking thinking thoughts, then it's
going to choose something stinking to think about, right, But
if you have it's well, let's just say, for me,
(05:50):
I'm thinking, oh my god, what if I die? What
if I die of cystic fibrosis. What's another possibility? What
if I don't die? Yes, what if I never get it? Right?
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yeah, that's the thing is it's I know it's not
to stick by roses of a tenant people buy phone
because if that was the case, my grandparents would be dead.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Okay, So this is the good thinking you're doing. You're
you're using reason and facts, facts first, and reasoning from
those facts to make a lie of your scary horror
movie thoughts. You're saying, I never had to think about it,
and you want to get to the point where you
can just laugh at those thoughts. They come up and
(06:33):
you say, I'm not playing that game anymore. I'm not
going to indulge this thinking. I'm not going to envision
my funeral. I'm so young, you are so young that
I am. I refuse to play that game. I Am
going to enjoy my life and think about having some
fun and think about good things with my fiance and
(06:55):
enjoy what I have.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah, I mean the thing that fount We've been together
almost every day for six years. Yeah, and he's going
to be gone for five months.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Oh, you need a way to handle that. There are
support groups, army support groups. Are you aware of them?
I'm assuming you are.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
You may have, and you may not like the particular group.
You may want to find another. You may not like groups,
and that way you need to find some friends. You
do need to build a parallel life with things you love, doing,
things that are hobbies, interests. You could you could go
to a bookstore of Bonds and Nobles and look at
their magazines to pick up a new hobby if you
(07:37):
don't have one. I do have one question, if it's
okay with you, and that's what happened two years ago
that you got this phobia.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
I have no idea. I mean, it just came out of.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Nowhere, Okay, I thought, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I thought that it could have been because I was
also on my period when I first thought of it.
Maybe since then, I've kind of linked my period with dying, okay.
And also I was in the middle of writing a
story where the main character dies.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Okay, you are magnificent. Do you notice you went from
I don't know to two really good possibilities because that
could have caused it in one sentence. I mean, if
you're a writer, that was pretty darn good. So you're
If you're a mystery writer, you just solved your own mystery,
or at least you're on the way to it. So
(08:26):
if you mentally associated your period to with dying, and
if you had a character and a plot in your
story that was dying and then you kind of took
that upon yourself, I'm not surprised, and you're not surprised. Listen.
I think you're doing some really good thinking work and
I would recommend cognitive therapy. You could go to my
(08:48):
website Doctor Kenner dot com and I have a link
to a cognitive therapy website, and there are also good
cognitive therapy books on my website, one of them as
mind Over. Thank you so much for the call, Alexandria,
Thank you very March. You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
For more Doctor Kenner podcast, go to Dr Kenner dot
com and please listen to this that.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Here's an excerpt from The Selfish Path to Romance, the
Serious Romance guidebook by clinical psychologists doctor Ellen Kenner and
doctor Edwin Locke.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
It is not the case that all the money's partners
have has to be jointly managed, but a couple should
always discuss important money matters together. Both partners should know
how much money they have, where it is, how it's invested,
what future income to expect, and the details of their
expenses and debts. It might be necessary to have an
(09:38):
agreed upon household budget. If problems arise, they should be
discussed together before any decisions are made. A partner should
share information about financial problems and his or her business,
and both should fully understand all financial aspects of wills
and other legal documents such as leases or property titles.
(10:00):
If you do not have a will, be sure to
write one.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
You can download chapter one for free by going to
doctor Kenner dot com, and you can buy the book
at Amazon dot com
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