🎤 PODCAST: Mysterious Coworker ~ Should I worry about a co-worker who never talks about their outside life?
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#relationships #strange_coworker #privacy #emotions #counseling #mental_health #self_help #objectivism #stress #therapy #psychology #happiness
Dr. Kenner's public service broadcast is in its 27th year.
Free Relationship Advice
Download chapter one of Dr. Kenner’s romance guidebook for free at https://www.drkenner.com
• This episode is at https://bit.ly/4sXdjT5
• Hundreds of podcasts sorted by topic https://bit.ly/3qh6BX7
✦ Free Relationship Advice ~ download chapter one of Dr. Kenner’s romance guidebook for free at https://www.drkenner.com
• Listen to caller's personal dramas four times each week
#relationships #strange_coworker #privacy #emotions #counseling #mental_health #self_help #objectivism #stress #therapy #psychology #happiness
Dr. Kenner's public service broadcast is in its 27th year.
Free Relationship Advice
Download chapter one of Dr. Kenner’s romance guidebook for free at https://www.drkenner.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
The selfish part of the romance. Download chapter one for
free at doctor Kenner dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Here's a question I received from Patty. I've have someone
that you just can't connect with, and you don't know why.
And maybe the person's important in your life. Maybe it's
your mother in law, maybe it's a co worker. Well,
what happens if it's someone who works in your office
and they may be there for a while and they
just don't say anything about themselves? This is Patty's problem. Now,
(00:28):
is this a real problem or not? Let's say, dear
doctor Kenner, most of the contractors that do work in
my office building tell me a little bit about themselves,
you know, about their spouse, their kids, their pets. One
and only one of them, Joe, has never said anything
about himself, work related or otherwise. It seems unusual. Is
(00:50):
his behavior normal? I notice inconsistencies, and this one keeps
picking at my mind. Help me out here, Patty, Patty,
I love that phrase. The inconsistency keeps picking at my mind.
We all have this little inconsistency light bulb. That's how
detectives work. That's how wives or husbands find out about
(01:13):
their partner's affairs. You know, they say they're at the office,
and you call the office and there's an inconsistency. Your
husband and wife isn't there when you expect. That's when
parents find out things about their kids, there's an inconsistency.
My friends said she was sleeping at her and my
daughter said she was sleeping at her friend's house. And
her friend just called her wondering where she is, and
(01:34):
she should have been at the friend's house two hours ago.
What's up? Is she with a boyfriend again? We all
notice those inconsistencies, and it's much better when you have
a relationship and there are very few inconsistencies. So that's
a very good thinking skill. A question to ask yourself is, okay,
why is Joe in particular picking at my mind? Why
(01:54):
is this inconsistency picking at my mind? What do I care?
Come on? Some people share their lives with you, private life,
some people don't. I remember I went to the gym,
and at a local gym, I would go there and
I went there for one purpose only. I can be
a very social person at time at times, but when
I was at the gym, I wanted to bury myself
(02:15):
in my book on my books on tape or a
course I was taking, and I wasn't looking to start
up a conversation. So I look like a cold person
to people because I just would put on my headset,
go over to the machines and do my own thing.
You know, I'd say hi if someone said hi, but
I wouldn't tell them about my life. Now does that
mean there's something weird about me? Absolutely not. I just
(02:36):
wanted my privacy at the gym. Now I go to
a different gym and I talk with people. I'm in
a class, and so it depends on the context. So
there might be absolutely nothing going on with Joe. But
you ask yourself, why the heck is it picking up
my mind?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Why?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Hey, I got to interrupt this because we've got to
pay some bills. Thirty seconds. That's it, A very quick ad,
and then Ellen will be back. Romance. I wish I
knew more about what girls want from a relationship. Well,
I wish I knew more about what I want. Where's
it at?
Speaker 3 (03:06):
I saw here?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
It is The Selfish Path to Romance, a serious romance guidebook.
Download chapter one for free at selfish romance dot com
and buy it at Amazon dot com. Huh, the selfish
path to romance. That is interesting.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Ask yourself, why the heck is it picking up my mind?
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Why?
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Maybe he never washes his hair, he looks greasy, he
gives you a creepy look at This is a safety concern,
and maybe you need to ask other people. Do you
notice anything odd about Joe? He just seems like a loner,
and he seems to have an evil eye or something.
You know that that's something you do want to tune into.
(03:51):
Maybe it's maybe you're worried. Maybe it's something about you, Patty,
maybe Joe. You make conversations easily with everyone, and it
just puzzles you. Why what's wrong with me? And I'm
so friendly to Joe and I come up against a
brick wall with him. You know, maybe you just need
to say some people are like that. You can always
try a new strategy. You can show him a picture
(04:11):
of your dog and ask him if he's ever had
any pets. You know, broaden the issue, have you ever
had any pets? Maybe he'll open up on something safe,
or ask him what hobbies he enjoys. So you can
tell a funny story about your son at the playground
and maybe he'll tell you a funny story and maybe
he'll open up and that'll be the end of it.
You know, he'll befriend you and you'll feel at ease.
(04:33):
So what is it? What is it about people who
don't share a lot about themselves? It runs the range.
It runs the range for me where I just wanted
privacy at the gym. Or sometimes maybe a guy is
very attracted to you. Maybe Joe's attracted to you and
he's just feeling shy around you. He doesn't know how
to break a conversation. Or maybe he might be a
(04:55):
private person. Maybe he learned at a very young age,
like many of us do, that people gossip and he
got hurt by that, and he might have a standing
policy in his mind to keep his life private. Or
he could be going through a very difficult time and
ask the divorce and he doesn't want you to ask any questions.
It will open up a can of worms. So it
(05:15):
could be that he doesn't like you. You may look
like his nosy sister and he just doesn't want to
deal with you, and it has nothing to do with
your character. So all of those are pretty benign reasons.
But if he's hiding something about himself, if you think
that there's something serious going on, like maybe he's stealing
(05:36):
at work. You can again ask people have you noticed
anything about him, but don't pick on him. I mean,
if he's a good guy, don't raise questions where there
are none. But if other people have mentioned something, maybe
you do need to tune into that. If you see
some red flags. If you see some big red flags,
you can obviously mention it to your boss. You can
(05:57):
also do a Google search. People who have dated someone
and something is off based with the person they're dating,
they do a Google search and they find out that
the person has a criminal record.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
For more Doctor Kenner podcast, go to dr Kenner dot
com and please listen to this that Here's an excerpt
from The Selfish Path to Romance, the Serious Romance guidebook
by clinical psychologist doctor Ellen Kenner and co author doctor
Edwin Locke.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Sex in the most cherished sense is your physical expression
of deep attraction to what you admire and love in
the character of your soulmate. Unfortunately, for most couples, this
vibrant sensual attraction fades with time. How can you avoid
this fate and instead nurture your sensual attraction to your partner?
(06:43):
One requirement is that you must grasp the deepest meaning
of romantic intimacy and never lose your own desire for it.
Romantic sex is a profound union of your body in
your mind. You are a whole person, mind and body.
Ideal romantic love is not separated from the physical or
(07:04):
the mental.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
You can download chapter one for free by going to
doctor Kenner dot com and buy it at Amazon dot com.
The selfish part of the romance. Download chapter one for
free at doctor Kenner dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Here's a question I received from Patty. I've have someone
that you just can't connect with, and you don't know why.
And maybe the person's important in your life. Maybe it's
your mother in law, maybe it's a co worker. Well,
what happens if it's someone who works in your office
and they may be there for a while and they
just don't say anything about themselves? This is Patty's problem. Now,
(00:28):
is this a real problem or not? Let's say, dear
doctor Kenner, most of the contractors that do work in
my office building tell me a little bit about themselves,
you know, about their spouse, their kids, their pets. One
and only one of them, Joe, has never said anything
about himself, work related or otherwise. It seems unusual. Is
(00:50):
his behavior normal? I notice inconsistencies, and this one keeps
picking at my mind. Help me out here, Patty, Patty,
I love that phrase. The inconsistency keeps picking at my mind.
We all have this little inconsistency light bulb. That's how
detectives work. That's how wives or husbands find out about
(01:13):
their partner's affairs. You know, they say they're at the office,
and you call the office and there's an inconsistency. Your
husband and wife isn't there when you expect. That's when
parents find out things about their kids, there's an inconsistency.
My friends said she was sleeping at her and my
daughter said she was sleeping at her friend's house. And
her friend just called her wondering where she is, and
(01:34):
she should have been at the friend's house two hours ago.
What's up? Is she with a boyfriend again? We all
notice those inconsistencies, and it's much better when you have
a relationship and there are very few inconsistencies. So that's
a very good thinking skill. A question to ask yourself is, okay,
why is Joe in particular picking at my mind? Why
(01:54):
is this inconsistency picking at my mind? What do I care?
Come on? Some people share their lives with you, private life,
some people don't. I remember I went to the gym,
and at a local gym, I would go there and
I went there for one purpose only. I can be
a very social person at time at times, but when
I was at the gym, I wanted to bury myself
(02:15):
in my book on my books on tape or a
course I was taking, and I wasn't looking to start
up a conversation. So I look like a cold person
to people because I just would put on my headset,
go over to the machines and do my own thing.
You know, I'd say hi if someone said hi, but
I wouldn't tell them about my life. Now does that
mean there's something weird about me? Absolutely not. I just
(02:36):
wanted my privacy at the gym. Now I go to
a different gym and I talk with people. I'm in
a class, and so it depends on the context. So
there might be absolutely nothing going on with Joe. But
you ask yourself, why the heck is it picking up
my mind?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Why?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Hey, I got to interrupt this because we've got to
pay some bills. Thirty seconds. That's it, A very quick ad,
and then Ellen will be back. Romance. I wish I
knew more about what girls want from a relationship. Well,
I wish I knew more about what I want. Where's
it at?
Speaker 3 (03:06):
I saw here?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
It is The Selfish Path to Romance, a serious romance guidebook.
Download chapter one for free at selfish romance dot com
and buy it at Amazon dot com. Huh, the selfish
path to romance. That is interesting.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Ask yourself, why the heck is it picking up my mind?
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Why?
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Maybe he never washes his hair, he looks greasy, he
gives you a creepy look at This is a safety concern,
and maybe you need to ask other people. Do you
notice anything odd about Joe? He just seems like a loner,
and he seems to have an evil eye or something.
You know that that's something you do want to tune into.
(03:51):
Maybe it's maybe you're worried. Maybe it's something about you, Patty,
maybe Joe. You make conversations easily with everyone, and it
just puzzles you. Why what's wrong with me? And I'm
so friendly to Joe and I come up against a
brick wall with him. You know, maybe you just need
to say some people are like that. You can always
try a new strategy. You can show him a picture
(04:11):
of your dog and ask him if he's ever had
any pets. You know, broaden the issue, have you ever
had any pets? Maybe he'll open up on something safe,
or ask him what hobbies he enjoys. So you can
tell a funny story about your son at the playground
and maybe he'll tell you a funny story and maybe
he'll open up and that'll be the end of it.
You know, he'll befriend you and you'll feel at ease.
(04:33):
So what is it? What is it about people who
don't share a lot about themselves? It runs the range.
It runs the range for me where I just wanted
privacy at the gym. Or sometimes maybe a guy is
very attracted to you. Maybe Joe's attracted to you and
he's just feeling shy around you. He doesn't know how
to break a conversation. Or maybe he might be a
(04:55):
private person. Maybe he learned at a very young age,
like many of us do, that people gossip and he
got hurt by that, and he might have a standing
policy in his mind to keep his life private. Or
he could be going through a very difficult time and
ask the divorce and he doesn't want you to ask any questions.
It will open up a can of worms. So it
(05:15):
could be that he doesn't like you. You may look
like his nosy sister and he just doesn't want to
deal with you, and it has nothing to do with
your character. So all of those are pretty benign reasons.
But if he's hiding something about himself, if you think
that there's something serious going on, like maybe he's stealing
(05:36):
at work. You can again ask people have you noticed
anything about him, but don't pick on him. I mean,
if he's a good guy, don't raise questions where there
are none. But if other people have mentioned something, maybe
you do need to tune into that. If you see
some red flags. If you see some big red flags,
you can obviously mention it to your boss. You can
(05:57):
also do a Google search. People who have dated someone
and something is off based with the person they're dating,
they do a Google search and they find out that
the person has a criminal record.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
For more Doctor Kenner podcast, go to dr Kenner dot
com and please listen to this that Here's an excerpt
from The Selfish Path to Romance, the Serious Romance guidebook
by clinical psychologist doctor Ellen Kenner and co author doctor
Edwin Locke.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Sex in the most cherished sense is your physical expression
of deep attraction to what you admire and love in
the character of your soulmate. Unfortunately, for most couples, this
vibrant sensual attraction fades with time. How can you avoid
this fate and instead nurture your sensual attraction to your partner?
(06:43):
One requirement is that you must grasp the deepest meaning
of romantic intimacy and never lose your own desire for it.
Romantic sex is a profound union of your body in
your mind. You are a whole person, mind and body.
Ideal romantic love is not separated from the physical or
(07:04):
the mental.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
You can download chapter one for free by going to
doctor Kenner dot com and buy it at Amazon dot com.
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