January 22, 2026 • 47 mins
We officially broke ourselves this year. The 4th Annual Too Terrible To Take Temu Christmas Exchange goes beyond ugly and straight into “how is this even legal?” territory. The gifts are more horrifying, more embarrassing, and more unhinged than ever before—and the moments that follow? Absolute chaos. We take a deep (and deeply disturbing) dive into the dark corners of the Temu web, and trust us… you’ll gasp, you’ll scream, you’ll laugh way too hard. The question is: who won? And more importantly… who brought it the worst? Because once the votes are in, the loser must wear, carry, and proudly display their Temu atrocities at the grocery store—on video. Public humiliation has never been so festive. This episode is outrageous, secondhand-embarrassing, and completely unmissable.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Laracane After Dark with Eric remembers a podcast You're dig
if you like a genuine and left so big.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Laura's a love of ballunatic with.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
A bob so real.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
The stories are crazy, the real deal.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Eric's the talent the people with says he's kind.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hello me get some kind of crash. Claire runs the show.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Supper quaint nerd always in the note but guarantee to
make you laugh. Plus sure we're late, but wi you
see belts and don't be late. Here we go, get ready,
It'll be great.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
With the show.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Hello, Welcome to Laura Kane after Dark.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Oh and there I look normal.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
I'm Laura Kane.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
This is my co host Eric Rimmer.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Look like a melted candle.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
You do not? You look great. I just put us
on TikTok live on and on Instagram live on super
filters because that's really like today.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
This is a super nice filter. I don't know about
that one.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Well and used to Claire, what's up?
Speaker 5 (01:01):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Hi, hey Claire?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Uh? Last night yo, I had like some horrific uh
response to something. I want to revenge, but you know
how I won't throw up or refuse to. It caused
me so much misery like I had. I had to
lay down on the floor rather than just like throw
(01:25):
up and get it over with. No, I'd rather suffer
for like three hours. It's the stupidest thing. But anyway,
so I'm sorry. It wasn't last night. It's tonight. It's
live and guess what, oh man, tonight don don the
terrible TEAMU Christmas Exchange, which is extra terrible this year
(01:49):
because not only is it incredibly tardy, there is a
hysterical yes and really awful backstory as to why it's
so late.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And when you guys see what she has to open it,
like a person that stole this package is going to
be like.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
What the okay, well he just gave up. Okay, so somebody,
you know sometimes team who delivers in those big, giant
white packages and you know you have like a lot
of little stuff in there. One of those was snaked
from his building. Okay, of course it had to be
(02:34):
that one, and that had like the krem de la
creme of everything in it, the worst of.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
The worst, the dark web of Temus and when so.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
He had to reorder everything and wait for it to come.
But in the meantime, that guy, what is he reporting
you to the police is here.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
I mean they're kind of reporting himself and you the
Oh no.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Nobody would ever admit to stealing that package. I mean,
I'm surprised. I'm As you open things, it's gonna make
it even funnier because when you see what this person
opened up, they're going to be like, what kind of
a sick ticket?
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Never, they were probably beyond horrified.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
And let me tell you, when I went to re order,
a couple of the things were sold out.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Okay, oh my god, sold out.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
What other idiot would be purchasing this stuff mine? Except
for me?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
What? And me?
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Because I've delved into the deep dark part.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Of I don't think I think you didn't deep at
I did?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
I did, I don't I do on many levels. As
you will see, the gifts come in levels. And I'm
going to tell you something. I mean, I spent more
money on you this Christmas than I did my mom. Oh, mister, uh, Javier,
anybody in my whole life that I give Staisy everybody.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I only bought for one other person, and I think
I spent more on you. And let me just tell you, good,
stop spending. I did a swan dive into scum Lake.
I mean, oh my god, it's gonna be amazing.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
First of all, we need to talk about our incredible sponsor.
You can see up there, the Old Globe Theater. Yes,
it is a gem in San Diego. It is.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
It is a classic, it's an icon.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
It's a place where you see the performances of a lifetime.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
Yes, and this is an exciting.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Andrea season because twenty twenty six is kicking.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Off with Yes, Oh had a gabbler with Katie Holmes.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Yes, starring in the role of I Think a lifetime and.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
She's going to be amazing in it.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
I don't know, you know how, I have like some
psychic ability sometimes.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
She's she's sensitive.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I'm feeling that Katie is going to so embrace this role.
She's going to get a tony.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
We're gonna we're going to be there.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I mean anyway, the Old Globe, I mean right off
the shoot is starting.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
It's starting out with a bang.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Now, if you're going to get tickets to this, this
way will get them soon because they are if I mean,
we're not saying this and there are just so go
to the Old Globe dot org and when you're ready
to check out put put in l C A D
(05:49):
and that'll take away your handling fees. So it's a
little bit of savings for a great amount of show.
And just wait, we have to figure out. Yeah, but
I can't even wait. The Old Globe Theater joining the
Laura Kane after Dark.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
We had Barry on last week. He's the director and
he's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
That Barry Edelstein.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I could not talk all night.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
I feel in a way we're soul connected.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
But you know, Barry, she's a centadel.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
And kind of psychotic.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Not psychic psychotic.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Stay away from me a little bit, give you some.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Distance, man, Barry, you and I could be friends. I
don't know about her, but I came.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Out all wrong. But oh my gosh, I enjoyed that
so so much last week.
Speaker 6 (06:39):
Our ticket's still available.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
I just checked. Oh okay, thank you, Claire, jump on
the horn, get online right.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Now, and Grace, I will let you know when Laura
and I are going, because there's a group of people
that want to join us. Yeah, so I'll let you
know for sure.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
Okay, text you so you're watching now?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Are we going to get right into it?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
We have to do this. We're gonna dive into the ugly.
The very much up in the air as to who's
going to win, and by I mean win, whoever buys
the worst gifts for the other person wins. The loser
(07:24):
has to were youse show the gifts he or she
received at a store up the street on video tonight tonight.
Oh look you're Oh my gosh, she's scared. He's scared
(07:46):
scared Like that was like he was convinced he's gonna lose. Oh,
this is good.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I'm not ready if I lose. I'm not ready.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Tonight I have a show that was very telling.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Oh I think I'm feeling really good. I'm feeling much
better than I did about a half hour ago. Okay,
okayrus anyway, so how do we want to start this?
I have mine over here.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
I even wore a body.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Suit because I knew there were going to be things
that it would have to throw on real quick, whatever
they may be. I assume there would be some sort
of wardrobe element possibly, So I wore like this one
piece for you to make it easy.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Okay, I'm thinking since I'm a gentleman, Oh, ladies, first,
so should I give you your gifts first? Would you
like me to do that.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Actually, I'd like to start because I have a card.
Oh okay, and I know that you didn't have time
to give you.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
A cardypical man. I did have a card for you,
I just didn't No big.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Deal, no big deal.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
So Claire, if you could, like, I know.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
There's no Christmas music or holiday music, but just like
play some kind of music, just to like bounce us
into what's about to happen.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Oh that's good, Claire, that's good. Now, Claire, you saw
something that I brought in. I should I save the
best for last the Yes.
Speaker 6 (09:28):
That's how dramatic tension works.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
I mean, you gotta have the climax.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Yeah, and trust me, you're going to climax.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Oh Merry Christmas.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Now you dug this out of the trash right, No,
this is.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Part of the whole thing. But I love you and
I want to give you a Christmas card. So read
it aloud. Please.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Santa knows you've been a hoe.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
And then I was too lazy to write anything on
the ins.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
Well, love Laura, that's it, love your hoe, of one
of them, love one of them? Oh, thank you, But
Santa knows you've been a hoe anyway, Softlly softlly, but
come on, come on, okay.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Now do I do I give you something or do
you want to go first?
Speaker 4 (10:18):
This comes with this holiday This is okay.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
A lot of things you buy on Tamu, they vary
in quality and description and what actually shows up. This
I thought was going to be a hand quilted blanket, okay,
and especially for you on this holiday season, to keep
(10:46):
you nice and warm.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Oh you are you are a delight.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
And the first of all, what is this material?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
It feels like for a car cover.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
It's like burlap. Okay. Now all the words on here.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Are like, oh wow, all the bad.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Words in the world. But look the one of them
is spelled dunt okay, ask sigle uh, Like they're all
kind of weird. Molar spell molar, what's uh? Oh bitch,
that's bitch. But anyway, it was supposed to be this big,
(11:26):
beautiful quilt of just the worst possible cuss words ever.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
You know, when I when I'm when I'm feeling blue,
I'm going to wrap myself in the warmth of this
and think of you. With all these misspelled words.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
It will not keep you warm at all.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I know it won't. I do want to say that
made me angry. We should be for the spelling errors.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Well, no, do not know. I'm in that. I almost
had you call customer service.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I was so to get your dollar twenty five backs?
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Exactly what am I doing? What am I doing? Horse?
I should have known, And it was only like four
dollars that it was going to be a hand weilted thing.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
I'm feeling a little chili, so I'm just gonna wrap
myself in it.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
All right, So let me, okay, let me see something.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Let me just what does that say down there?
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Oh? Wait here, Yeah, I do have a couple more
little baby babies. Okay, and then you can start yours. Okay,
clear music, close your eyes, Okay, while you're wearing that
blanket that works out in no way, shape or form.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
Okay, you can wear these.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
And you know those are very cute.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Actually they are cute. They're they're cuterer than they are disturbing.
And that's it's just.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Like I'm one fart away from poo from a poo.
Oh that's lovely.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
I mean, isn't that that should be like an all
of our yeah mon or daily reflections?
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Yes, absolutely it should be.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Okay, So I'm done with my first like little. Okay,
that's just a gentle beginning.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Now you start, okay, I'll start you with my gentle beginning.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Next.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Okay, you to.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Close eyes, all right, eyes closed.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Things that you can't see.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
I love surprises, so what I feel like crying right now?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
I also what got you something?
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Okay? Okay, so I'd like you to open that all right?
Can I open my eyes?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
You can? Yes?
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Oh, okay. It's something that looks like it could be
a sweatshirt of some sort. Yes, and it sure.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
It's a blankety blanket of.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Wait, I'm holding it.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Up so you can wrap yourself in it on a
warm night or take it to the beach.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Who is this?
Speaker 2 (14:02):
It's David Hasselhoff and Espio.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Oh David Hale. I okay, okay, actually wow, he was
once a handsome man, that David.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
I love the big fro and the speedo and that.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Well. Okay, so thank you for my nice comfy thing.
I think that all right. I know, wait, let's let's
halt for just two seconds. Yeah, Claire, who's ahead so
far in the worst gift Giving?
Speaker 6 (14:40):
I think the misspelled bad texture blanket is just really tough.
I think that one's worse.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Okay, so I'm winning this one so far barely because.
Speaker 6 (14:51):
Of that, I'm interrupting. I'd love to ask Eric to
put his headphones on, please and thank you.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
There's been like a shift within the last three months
of Eric, for some reason, believing he's just a one
hundred times cooler when he doesn't put headphones on.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yes, okay, there, shut it.
Speaker 6 (15:14):
You know he is such a diva bie he isn't.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
He though, it's so sure. He's the talent.
Speaker 6 (15:20):
He always needs his green room stock. He's always yelling by.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I'm sorry, impossible, I really am. I'm okay, impossible, ice closed?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Oh got it? Oh god, all right, okay.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Here's another little soft volley for you.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Hands open, hands open, okay, this is.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Oh gosh that it's so hard.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
To open him really difficult. So these are little notepads
in case you'd like to give it a guy your number.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
On a dead fish on a dead fish. Yes, what
are you trying to say? Say it when I'm giving
a note to a guy?
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Well, this all comes into play, Miss Kane.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
Uh, this better not be some kind of theme. Oh yes,
rimmer Cain, it is on.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
It's on.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
We need the rocky music right now, so.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Let me see you give me okay, I got one
more for you?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Well no, let me okay, well if you have one
more for me, short little volume, one little in between gifts, yes, okay,
go for it.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Well you know what I'm gonna wait ahead, I'll go
with my.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
In between gifts all right. Actually I have two of them. Okay,
eyes closed and actually headphones off.
Speaker 6 (16:58):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Oh, I'm gonna put something on your head.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Oh Jesus, this is so you can be Wait, stop,
don't look yet, don't in your eyes. Okay, I'm gonna
take mine off, because you know what, you and I
get to be a version of each other. You can
open your eyes.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Now, Jesus Christ, what the fuck is that?
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Look? You get to be me for a day if
you want to. You can walk around like luracaneow. And
you know what, I even made you another one with
a different lauracane.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Oh my god, this one I'm much younger, really cool.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
So look if you had it on right and didn't
look like, you know, like the monster with.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
My headphones and I look almost like you.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Oh my god, there you go. Now you can be me.
And now I'm you as a hero boss model, some
weird This does not look right at all.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
It's very disturbing, all.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
Right, so softboll Okay, not even the big thing, not.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Even the big thing, but anyway, Wow, clearly you're disturbed
by those and that was the that was the goal.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Okay, Okay, you're getting Okay. Did you want to keep me?
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Yeah, you know sometimes when you shot for others, you
just pick out something for yourself. Sure, that was my
fun little thing. Oh that's really closure eyes. Now you
can walk around like the housewives you always talk about.
Oh boy, just like them.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
There you go, who does that look like you? Okay, maybe.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Two years ago? But it wore off? Okay, so you
know what. That wasn't supposed to backfire on me. That
was supposed to embarrass you, not mely kill.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Okay, do you want to keep the bag? Do you
want to save the paper?
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Can I just make a statement at this time in
the competition as the real as the real punches start
getting thrown. Now that I know there's some sort of
very horrible theme. Mine is also a theme, but it
(19:49):
you know what, Look, we'll let the people on TikTok
the people on Instagram, our family on YouTube make the
decision whose was worse. So, as you stated in the beginning,
why oh my gosh, this is just no pads, ficial pad.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
But there's a theme. So but when when when the
when the American public finds out what you need to
do with it, it's gonna get a whole lot funnier. Okay,
I'm going to start.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Can I please start? Because absolutely you stated at one
point in the show that I, uh, I am a lady?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
You are? You did at one point saying last time
I checked, you were a lady. Yeah, Marie, disgusting out of.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Necessity. This isn't the theme hairstyle of this period of time,
but it needed you need hair of some sorts of
Here you go. This is the start. Okay, just put
this hat on, Just put the hat on, has air
attached to it. Okay, put the hat on.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Okay, got it.
Speaker 7 (21:16):
Now you're gonna put on the beard. Okay, okay, this
is just the beard.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
There's okay, there we go.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Now look at that. Okay, are we having any guesses
as to what this man is about to become?
Speaker 2 (21:35):
I'm gonna have sex with barnyard animals.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Oh my god, you can.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
What. Oh well, I mean it kind of I'm trying
to put.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
No, this is not it at all. That was not
it at all.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Oh no, you I'm not duck dynasty like a No,
not even closed.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Think think older, are much more older than that top.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
No, here, put this mustache on. That's part of it.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Okay, it's not of this era.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
It's not of that era.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I just want to ask you one.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Question you're gonna have to get up to.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Okay, what I mean, is this all you got?
Speaker 7 (22:21):
No?
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Okay, it started, it has started, it has yes, Okay,
this is the beginning. Okay, So take off your little
fake blanket with the miss miswritten quilted words.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Now, mind you, there's points deducted for that. No, are wait,
I can't. I can't get this enfold.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
I'm just gonna you put on these pants, which I've
already belted. So don't talk to me. Wow, go off
around the corner and put on the pants.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Here's the problem.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
What once again, I'm not wearing underwear? Well, I I
truly truly believe in these pants, which are like looser
than loose, but they are kind of thin. But you're fine,
You're fine, You're fine. You're fine, and I think in
this era, which you have not even guessed yet, they
(23:22):
didn't do that. So you're in good shape. So just
really tighten that bow because I know you're gonna complain.
I'm so thin, I can't. This don't fit my waist.
Yes they do.
Speaker 6 (23:38):
Okay, I like that fish notepad. Why everybody, it's in
that little plastic train fish at the grocery store.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Thank god. Take off your shirt? Here, what's next? Your armor? Okay?
So here, let me put it on. I can see
(24:12):
I told you that's exactly what he'd say. But you
just tighten him. Okay, deal with it all right, Now
here we go. Now here's your This is what's gonna
keep you safe in battle. All of this hoopily had
duply dah dress up blah blah blah blah is for
(24:34):
a final ending reason, as you will find out after.
I'm sure Eric provides me with something truly horrific, because this,
I'm guessing is not truly horrific yet not Okay, so
(24:59):
sit down, actually sit down. So you are you're a
warrior wearing a baseball hat, but that was because I
had Okay, so we're not done. But why don't you
(25:19):
start in on me, and then we'll finish finish each
other out.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
We'll finish their later.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
On, you know what I mean. I can't Claire just
put some music on because we did, come on, we
could keep this going. I'm getting nervous, and I'm this
is how I deal with nervous. The music I don't. Yes,
I guess.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I also have something for you. Close your eyes so
I'm know for you.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
What do we always here? Okay? Green hair?
Speaker 2 (25:56):
This is your magic hair.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Green magic hair. Okay, so you're right, all right, I'll
put my green magic hair on here, all of them
put on right up here.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Oh god, that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Is that better? That's because it's only supposed to be
like a little piece.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
It's just a little piece. All right, there we go, Okay,
perfect that. That's amazing.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
There we go.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Now like you, I also got your hat, so close
your eyes.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Okay, okay, what does the hat say? Oh god?
Speaker 4 (26:27):
Wait, first of all, my head is huge, so let
me I just it and make sure that what is
said on hat.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I know how you like word games?
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Do everybody see that?
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Mike? Who cheese? Harry? Now just say that several times?
Speaker 4 (26:50):
See, maybe I I look intelligent.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Cheese Harry, Yeah, I know.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
I got that.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
You have. You have a Harry coote and really bad hair.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
It's starting to feel I'm starting to feel in character
of some sort. Not I'm I'm terrified.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
So I also have for you. Close your eyes.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Hm hm.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
H open your eyes.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
Okay are these yellow stockings?
Speaker 2 (27:27):
There are yellow tights.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Okay, I open them on over my body, perfect, perfect, Okay,
Oh they oh they go up mid.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Very sexy yellow, yes, very very sexy. Yes.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Place at the ball that sold lemonade.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
And hot dog on a stick?
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Yes, stick. I feel like attison. Okay, here we go,
Here we go, Here we go, here we go.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
All right, here we go, absolutely stunning.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
All right, what else?
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Oh my god, lord king, amazing. Okay, close your eyes.
Speaker 5 (28:09):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 8 (28:13):
Okay, there better be some big end of this, because
there's wonder yours.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
Let me just I can't reiterate that enough.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
There's what some big ending to your to my madness?
Oh yes, there is?
Speaker 3 (28:37):
All right, no whatever, Okay, there we go. Ok So,
I'm from the eighties apparently, okay, all right, yep, okay,
I like that era.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Now is this all do I have? To worry about
anything else? Or is this that?
Speaker 3 (28:51):
No? No, no, oh okay, no, there's I was just
giving you a little breaks so you can start giving
me stuff.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
What's this? Oh?
Speaker 4 (29:04):
These are leg warmers.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Okay, the cheapest of fun, cheapest of thin leg warmers.
You know what you had it? I think they Actually
I'm looking cute right now, so I don't know what
your deal is here. I'm going to move back to
this hold.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
On the camera. See wow, that is really now these
should probably go up, they don't go up higher. Well
that that's stunning. Now if you could just lift your
legs over your head so everybody could see the full.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
And then you'll stand up in a minute. Okay, now
what okay, Now, how many do I have left? How
about that?
Speaker 2 (29:53):
A couple?
Speaker 3 (29:53):
All right?
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Lorcane, eyes closed.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Hands out, all right. So I'm wearing some pantaloons.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Yeah those are wow. Those are stunning.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
They look like a.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
Little like I have a diaper underneath.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Yeah, those are stunning. Oh wow those are great? Uh
huh yeah all right, okay, great, okay.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
Perfect in my hometown, no problem, eyes closed, hand, okay, God,
all right, Bozo the clown shoes. All right, clown shoes.
I can handle this.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
You're gonna look stunning.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Let me I think I have.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
The big one for you, the last one for you,
and let me see if I have.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
A couple other I have a couple other little things
for you to Okay, now hold your feet up so
that everybody can see those beautiful shoes. Well, they are stunning.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
With the pantaloons and the little.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Look at those shoes. Wow, those are those are those
are sexy? Now show them to everybody on Instagram. Here
you go, look at those Wow.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
I purposely made these loose so you could put one
of these guys in front. No one goes on side
and one goes on side. Oh okay, but I made
them loose.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Okay, these are beautiful, Lee? Did you did you have
these custom made?
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Shut up? I wanted you to shut your mouth. You
get Also, I want you to have leg protections for all.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
The blow jobs that I'm going to be giving to
hear your knee pass. Oh great, you know I needed those.
My my other ones got worn out.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
And when you're done putting on uh, I'll help you
with that. Here's your little man purse.
Speaker 4 (32:11):
Because back in the warrior days or whatever.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
What era? What era is this warrior? He was the warrior.
Speaker 6 (32:19):
Yeah, it's whatever you wanted to be medieval.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Yeah, she's like not even.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I look more like mad Max.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Here's where you keep like dead men's teeth or something.
I don't know. And you're a little purse, little man purse.
So there's that now here. Okay, let's not worry about
that right now. I'm gonna put you the whole thing together,
because okay, give me the last few things and then
(32:53):
let's save one and one I have one more left
for you. Well then and then and then we have
to make the decision, because okay, there we go.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Oh, thank you, Claire.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Uh, these are just little little accessories. I have a
cat on a toilet reading a newspaper. Thank you. So
those are for my ear rings that need to be that.
They they're so cheap. I have to put them together myself.
The hanging earrings, Oh yes, so I will do that.
I will do that, okay, okay, and then if I lose.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Hands out, eyes closed, okay, okay, those are anal beads.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Well, where am I supposed to showcase these? You tell me? Well, no,
if I'm going in a store.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
All right, and then of course you're going to need
to put your accessories in, like your anal beads, earrings.
You're fishing. So here's a nice little like you got
me a satchel. There's a nice little satchel for you.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
Okay. The satchel says, oh, good for all my essentials,
O bag?
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Oh bad?
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Yes, perfect, Okay.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
I want you to close your eyes all right, Jesus happening. Okay, close, okay,
keep them closed.
Speaker 3 (34:25):
I will keep them closed. Keep they're closed. I like
to be surprised. Now. Look, it is essential that we
after this is over, Claire thinks this out thoroughly about
(34:48):
what we each want to achieve. Okay, this looks this
feels huge and all sorts of wrong, and like it
feels like it's banning in some sense.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Kind of okay. So, Laura, yes, you know this is
twenty twenty six and you've been saying forever that you
want a boyfriend. So I'd like you to meet Jean
the Machine Jean, which he is. Also he was naked.
He's got a very hairy chest.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
Oh wow, I love a hairy chest.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
I didn't want him to come in here naked so
he's wearing the T shirt that you'll be wearing that
says if it's clogged, I'm involved. So I'm gonna Jean's
couldn't do a little stress? Okay, now, Laura Kane, this
is all yours.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
Oh my gosh, I feel like I'm on a game show,
like I just want to like the Showcase showdown, okay.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Or like the f Street Bookstore Showdown.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
No, keep his little T shirt on. That's too cute.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Well, but you get to wear this.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Oh and by the way, just an fyi, yes.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
When you go shopping, Jean's coming with you.
Speaker 4 (36:02):
Oh, I know, I understand that.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
So he's okay.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
So all right, so this is all mine. Yes, I
obviously am in portrayed as some like crazy ho bag
obviously from I literally says.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Ho bag.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
In the medieval times or whatever I'm trying to portray. Here,
what's the outfit is put together? You'll see there was
something back in the day that used to protect a
man's most vital jewels, the family jewels, the penis.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
It wasn't a jot strap and it wasn't underwear, two
things you.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Don't own or wear. But this from way back hundreds
and hundreds of years ago. My friend, is what you're
gonna start wearing.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
A cod piece?
Speaker 3 (37:09):
Well, I got you.
Speaker 4 (37:13):
The best t MoU's best thickest metal leather.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
Cod piece.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
Ever the butt.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
It's gonna it's gonna fit right over your essentials perfectly.
We're gonna we're gonna figure out these fits. Oh see
this is look I even got the right side.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
Well, I don't know about that, but.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Now sit down at the current moment. It would take
us a while to get all of our cells looking
one hundred percent with the picture. And who won? Who
didn't want to do that? Yes, so we could do
it two ways, and I think we should do it
(38:09):
two ways. Okay, First, I want to know Claire, producer Claire,
because I feel like you are smart enough and you
know us well enough to know what we're gonna eventually
look like when all of this is all put together
and our intentions behind the terrible team exchange. I feel
(38:34):
like you can look look past all that like look beyond,
and we want to know who you and you won't
hurt my feelings. Are you gonna hurt her? Will she
hurt your feelings? If you lose? I'm saying you're not
(38:55):
gonna hurt my feelings. You're not gonna hurt his feelings.
We want you to be honest. Yeah, that's what I
was trying to say. Yeah, right, sure, Claire. Yeah, who
won the Terrible Temu Christmas Gift Exchange twenty twenty five?
Speaker 6 (39:19):
In my opinion, Eric won the Terrible Team of Christmas.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Twenty twenty five.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Okay, wait a minute, Wait a minute, Wait a minute,
now listen, wait a minute, wait one. But are we
gonna put it to an audience? Yes, we are gonna
put it to an audience vote. We're gonna put it.
We're gonna get all dolled up. We're gonna do the thing.
Maybe we'll do the punishment next week. Yeah, okay, all right, Yeah,
(39:47):
I'm so mad right now, I'll have no salaiva so
he gets you're not like this.
Speaker 6 (39:53):
What is hurting my feelings is Eric not talking into
his mic.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Oh yeah, I'm sorry, Claire. I'll do whatever you want, okay, Claire.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Yeah. Out of anybody I know on this planet's supposed
to appreciate what you did for Eric, I am beyond
shot again. I'm not no hurt is not come into
this because this is you're supposed to. You are being honest,
and I appreciate that, but.
Speaker 6 (40:23):
My can I can I talk more about my philosophy?
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Absolutely, I am on pins and needles, so in.
Speaker 6 (40:31):
My I mean, dare I say expert opinion? I was like,
which would I least would be worse to go into
a grocery store in? And I think what Laura's wearing
would be worse to go into a grocery store store
in than what Eric is wearing.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
That was the only criteria, that was the deciding factor.
Speaker 6 (40:55):
Okay, I could walk you could maybe walk past. It's
all browns, and you could make the copiece is tough.
The codpiece is like definitely Jerry on top, like that's tough.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Oh yeah, but but I'll make it work.
Speaker 6 (41:08):
If he's across the grocery store from you, you don't
notice him. He's wearing brown and black.
Speaker 4 (41:12):
When the big silver cod piece off his pants.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
Listen, I'm I'm gonna be in Hillcrest. Do you think
anybody's gonna be looking at my face?
Speaker 4 (41:21):
Nobody's looking gonna be looking at either of us.
Speaker 2 (41:24):
Just to be honest, but Claire, I could probably get
a date looking like this.
Speaker 4 (41:30):
You know, the decision on this end has been made, Claire,
I'm not the audience.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
No, I know, so it's twofold. Wait we have we
have an audience member. I can Can you please get
up here and speak, just because it would be nice
to hear you on the mic.
Speaker 4 (41:51):
This is my roommate Marie, and I hear her moaning
and groaning, and.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
I need to know your thoughts.
Speaker 5 (42:00):
I'm just gonna say something I think right now. Eric
looks horrible and Laura looks cute.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Mmmm.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
Oops, you tell him. I just want to say that.
Speaker 5 (42:11):
But these shirts and this GenEd something kind of make
it harder to say something.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
But I wanted to say that. I believe my accessory
was the thing that brought down, brought me down. It's
basically what you're trying to say, the accessory that I
have to use when I do.
Speaker 4 (42:36):
He elevates, He inched ahead of me.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
He inched ahead of me.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
What oh the anal beads?
Speaker 3 (42:46):
All right, reconsider this year. Two weeks you are off
the least girlfriend eyes off. For sure, she's gonna be
like all about me, but it started that way. But no, anyway,
all right, anyway, now we want to hear from you
(43:08):
on Instagram. TikTok, our first TikTok livestream and of course
our freshest YouTubers. We're going to put up a picture
on all of our socials everywhere we can, all dolled
up with everything, and we want you to be the
final deciders, and then we will mention mention, We will
(43:34):
announce the loser next week, and then the person has
to go up to which was one time Vond's. It's
not even bonds anymore.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
It's pavilion fancy now fancy to the crackheads of all
moved Downtown's pavilion.
Speaker 3 (43:56):
It's worse than ever.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (44:00):
Anyways, so thank you so much, Instagram family.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
Love you.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
I'm actually getting kind of turned on by this outfit.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
Thank you so much. TikTok.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
Love you, oh my god, love you guys so much.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
Thank you YouTube. Thank you guys for listening and watching
after the fact and casting your judgments upon me.
Speaker 4 (44:30):
As always, because Eric seems to be.
Speaker 3 (44:32):
The favorite no matter what he does. No, I'm just kidding. No,
we put your vote and we will and we'll let
you know next week.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
I'm good with these two votes.
Speaker 5 (44:45):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
I am, on the other hand, not.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
Okay. These are the two most important ones.
Speaker 3 (44:55):
No, they're not. Everybody else in the world.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
It's gonna be voting are Yeah, okay, Harry couch r
He's are.
Speaker 4 (45:06):
Now I'm starting to fit my persona.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
Oh wow wow. And if you if you heard our backstory,
someone stole this ship. Oh yeah, that's right.
Speaker 3 (45:19):
Somebody stole this hat, this hair, the butt plug, the
clown shoe, yeah, the butt plug yeah. Wait, and the
blow up doll.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
No, the blow up doll came separately.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
What about I clogged the toilet?
Speaker 2 (45:35):
Uh no, that got stolen to.
Speaker 4 (45:41):
Yeah, so this teaches somebody a lesson.
Speaker 3 (45:44):
Yeah, don't steal.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Don't steal. It's not nice.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
No, it's horrific.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Yeah. So everything that you're wearing, the clown she is
the only thing that didn't get stolen was the blow
up guy. Okay and the blanket. Oh okay, Oh that
would have really.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
Been something anyway. All right, well we gotta get dressed
with the picture perfect. Thank you, I love you, Merry Christmas.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
Why are you saying it was such a tight lip.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
Like, because I have no saliva right.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
Now, so you're so, honey, I love it. Yourvous Just
to dry my mouth, I can't try.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
Oh God, I've been nervously this.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
Oh god. Yeah, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
You right now, but I love you at the same time. Anyway,
you guys, shut you back next week.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
You really are by everything.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
Love your podcast.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
I love your podcast. No, I mean I love you.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
No, I don't think you do.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
I really do love your podcast.
Speaker 3 (47:08):
Love you my sleep babies. Bye guys. By oh my gosh.
Laracane After Dark with Eric remembers a podcast You're dig
if you like a genuine and left so big.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Laura's a love of ballunatic with.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
A bob so real.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
The stories are crazy, the real deal.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Eric's the talent the people with says he's kind.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hello me get some kind of crash. Claire runs the show.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Supper quaint nerd always in the note but guarantee to
make you laugh. Plus sure we're late, but wi you
see belts and don't be late. Here we go, get ready,
It'll be great.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
With the show.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Hello, Welcome to Laura Kane after Dark.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Oh and there I look normal.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
I'm Laura Kane.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
This is my co host Eric Rimmer.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Look like a melted candle.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
You do not? You look great. I just put us
on TikTok live on and on Instagram live on super
filters because that's really like today.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
This is a super nice filter. I don't know about
that one.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Well and used to Claire, what's up?
Speaker 5 (01:01):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Hi, hey Claire?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Uh? Last night yo, I had like some horrific uh
response to something. I want to revenge, but you know
how I won't throw up or refuse to. It caused
me so much misery like I had. I had to
lay down on the floor rather than just like throw
(01:25):
up and get it over with. No, I'd rather suffer
for like three hours. It's the stupidest thing. But anyway,
so I'm sorry. It wasn't last night. It's tonight. It's
live and guess what, oh man, tonight don don the
terrible TEAMU Christmas Exchange, which is extra terrible this year
(01:49):
because not only is it incredibly tardy, there is a
hysterical yes and really awful backstory as to why it's
so late.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And when you guys see what she has to open it,
like a person that stole this package is going to
be like.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
What the okay, well he just gave up. Okay, so somebody,
you know sometimes team who delivers in those big, giant
white packages and you know you have like a lot
of little stuff in there. One of those was snaked
from his building. Okay, of course it had to be
(02:34):
that one, and that had like the krem de la
creme of everything in it, the worst of.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
The worst, the dark web of Temus and when so.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
He had to reorder everything and wait for it to come.
But in the meantime, that guy, what is he reporting
you to the police is here.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
I mean they're kind of reporting himself and you the
Oh no.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Nobody would ever admit to stealing that package. I mean,
I'm surprised. I'm As you open things, it's gonna make
it even funnier because when you see what this person
opened up, they're going to be like, what kind of
a sick ticket?
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Never, they were probably beyond horrified.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
And let me tell you, when I went to re order,
a couple of the things were sold out.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Okay, oh my god, sold out.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
What other idiot would be purchasing this stuff mine? Except
for me?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
What? And me?
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Because I've delved into the deep dark part.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Of I don't think I think you didn't deep at
I did?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
I did, I don't I do on many levels. As
you will see, the gifts come in levels. And I'm
going to tell you something. I mean, I spent more
money on you this Christmas than I did my mom. Oh, mister, uh, Javier,
anybody in my whole life that I give Staisy everybody.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I only bought for one other person, and I think
I spent more on you. And let me just tell you, good,
stop spending. I did a swan dive into scum Lake.
I mean, oh my god, it's gonna be amazing.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
First of all, we need to talk about our incredible sponsor.
You can see up there, the Old Globe Theater. Yes,
it is a gem in San Diego. It is.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
It is a classic, it's an icon.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
It's a place where you see the performances of a lifetime.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
Yes, and this is an exciting.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Andrea season because twenty twenty six is kicking.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Off with Yes, Oh had a gabbler with Katie Holmes.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Yes, starring in the role of I Think a lifetime and.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
She's going to be amazing in it.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
I don't know, you know how, I have like some
psychic ability sometimes.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
She's she's sensitive.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I'm feeling that Katie is going to so embrace this role.
She's going to get a tony.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
We're gonna we're going to be there.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I mean anyway, the Old Globe, I mean right off
the shoot is starting.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
It's starting out with a bang.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Now, if you're going to get tickets to this, this
way will get them soon because they are if I mean,
we're not saying this and there are just so go
to the Old Globe dot org and when you're ready
to check out put put in l C A D
(05:49):
and that'll take away your handling fees. So it's a
little bit of savings for a great amount of show.
And just wait, we have to figure out. Yeah, but
I can't even wait. The Old Globe Theater joining the
Laura Kane after Dark.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
We had Barry on last week. He's the director and
he's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
That Barry Edelstein.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I could not talk all night.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
I feel in a way we're soul connected.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
But you know, Barry, she's a centadel.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
And kind of psychotic.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Not psychic psychotic.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Stay away from me a little bit, give you some.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Distance, man, Barry, you and I could be friends. I
don't know about her, but I came.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Out all wrong. But oh my gosh, I enjoyed that
so so much last week.
Speaker 6 (06:39):
Our ticket's still available.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
I just checked. Oh okay, thank you, Claire, jump on
the horn, get online right.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Now, and Grace, I will let you know when Laura
and I are going, because there's a group of people
that want to join us. Yeah, so I'll let you
know for sure.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
Okay, text you so you're watching now?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Are we going to get right into it?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
We have to do this. We're gonna dive into the ugly.
The very much up in the air as to who's
going to win, and by I mean win, whoever buys
the worst gifts for the other person wins. The loser
(07:24):
has to were youse show the gifts he or she
received at a store up the street on video tonight tonight.
Oh look you're Oh my gosh, she's scared. He's scared
(07:46):
scared Like that was like he was convinced he's gonna lose. Oh,
this is good.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I'm not ready if I lose. I'm not ready.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Tonight I have a show that was very telling.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Oh I think I'm feeling really good. I'm feeling much
better than I did about a half hour ago. Okay,
okayrus anyway, so how do we want to start this?
I have mine over here.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
I even wore a body.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Suit because I knew there were going to be things
that it would have to throw on real quick, whatever
they may be. I assume there would be some sort
of wardrobe element possibly, So I wore like this one
piece for you to make it easy.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Okay, I'm thinking since I'm a gentleman, Oh, ladies, first,
so should I give you your gifts first? Would you
like me to do that.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Actually, I'd like to start because I have a card.
Oh okay, and I know that you didn't have time
to give you.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
A cardypical man. I did have a card for you,
I just didn't No big.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Deal, no big deal.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
So Claire, if you could, like, I know.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
There's no Christmas music or holiday music, but just like
play some kind of music, just to like bounce us
into what's about to happen.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Oh that's good, Claire, that's good. Now, Claire, you saw
something that I brought in. I should I save the
best for last the Yes.
Speaker 6 (09:28):
That's how dramatic tension works.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
I mean, you gotta have the climax.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Yeah, and trust me, you're going to climax.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Oh Merry Christmas.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Now you dug this out of the trash right, No,
this is.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Part of the whole thing. But I love you and
I want to give you a Christmas card. So read
it aloud. Please.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Santa knows you've been a hoe.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
And then I was too lazy to write anything on
the ins.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
Well, love Laura, that's it, love your hoe, of one
of them, love one of them? Oh, thank you, But
Santa knows you've been a hoe anyway, Softlly softlly, but
come on, come on, okay.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Now do I do I give you something or do
you want to go first?
Speaker 4 (10:18):
This comes with this holiday This is okay.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
A lot of things you buy on Tamu, they vary
in quality and description and what actually shows up. This
I thought was going to be a hand quilted blanket, okay,
and especially for you on this holiday season, to keep
(10:46):
you nice and warm.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Oh you are you are a delight.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
And the first of all, what is this material?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
It feels like for a car cover.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
It's like burlap. Okay. Now all the words on here.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Are like, oh wow, all the bad.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Words in the world. But look the one of them
is spelled dunt okay, ask sigle uh, Like they're all
kind of weird. Molar spell molar, what's uh? Oh bitch,
that's bitch. But anyway, it was supposed to be this big,
(11:26):
beautiful quilt of just the worst possible cuss words ever.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
You know, when I when I'm when I'm feeling blue,
I'm going to wrap myself in the warmth of this
and think of you. With all these misspelled words.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
It will not keep you warm at all.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I know it won't. I do want to say that
made me angry. We should be for the spelling errors.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Well, no, do not know. I'm in that. I almost
had you call customer service.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I was so to get your dollar twenty five backs?
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Exactly what am I doing? What am I doing? Horse?
I should have known, And it was only like four
dollars that it was going to be a hand weilted thing.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
I'm feeling a little chili, so I'm just gonna wrap
myself in it.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
All right, So let me, okay, let me see something.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Let me just what does that say down there?
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Oh? Wait here, Yeah, I do have a couple more
little baby babies. Okay, and then you can start yours. Okay,
clear music, close your eyes, Okay, while you're wearing that
blanket that works out in no way, shape or form.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
Okay, you can wear these.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
And you know those are very cute.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Actually they are cute. They're they're cuterer than they are disturbing.
And that's it's just.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Like I'm one fart away from poo from a poo.
Oh that's lovely.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
I mean, isn't that that should be like an all
of our yeah mon or daily reflections?
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Yes, absolutely it should be.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Okay, So I'm done with my first like little. Okay,
that's just a gentle beginning.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Now you start, okay, I'll start you with my gentle beginning.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Next.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Okay, you to.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Close eyes, all right, eyes closed.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Things that you can't see.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
I love surprises, so what I feel like crying right now?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
I also what got you something?
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Okay? Okay, so I'd like you to open that all right?
Can I open my eyes?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
You can? Yes?
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Oh, okay. It's something that looks like it could be
a sweatshirt of some sort. Yes, and it sure.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
It's a blankety blanket of.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Wait, I'm holding it.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Up so you can wrap yourself in it on a
warm night or take it to the beach.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Who is this?
Speaker 2 (14:02):
It's David Hasselhoff and Espio.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Oh David Hale. I okay, okay, actually wow, he was
once a handsome man, that David.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
I love the big fro and the speedo and that.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Well. Okay, so thank you for my nice comfy thing.
I think that all right. I know, wait, let's let's
halt for just two seconds. Yeah, Claire, who's ahead so
far in the worst gift Giving?
Speaker 6 (14:40):
I think the misspelled bad texture blanket is just really tough.
I think that one's worse.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Okay, so I'm winning this one so far barely because.
Speaker 6 (14:51):
Of that, I'm interrupting. I'd love to ask Eric to
put his headphones on, please and thank you.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
There's been like a shift within the last three months
of Eric, for some reason, believing he's just a one
hundred times cooler when he doesn't put headphones on.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yes, okay, there, shut it.
Speaker 6 (15:14):
You know he is such a diva bie he isn't.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
He though, it's so sure. He's the talent.
Speaker 6 (15:20):
He always needs his green room stock. He's always yelling by.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I'm sorry, impossible, I really am. I'm okay, impossible, ice closed?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Oh got it? Oh god, all right, okay.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Here's another little soft volley for you.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Hands open, hands open, okay, this is.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Oh gosh that it's so hard.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
To open him really difficult. So these are little notepads
in case you'd like to give it a guy your number.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
On a dead fish on a dead fish. Yes, what
are you trying to say? Say it when I'm giving
a note to a guy?
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Well, this all comes into play, Miss Kane.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
Uh, this better not be some kind of theme. Oh yes,
rimmer Cain, it is on.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
It's on.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
We need the rocky music right now, so.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Let me see you give me okay, I got one
more for you?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Well no, let me okay, well if you have one
more for me, short little volume, one little in between gifts, yes, okay,
go for it.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Well you know what I'm gonna wait ahead, I'll go
with my.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
In between gifts all right. Actually I have two of them. Okay,
eyes closed and actually headphones off.
Speaker 6 (16:58):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Oh, I'm gonna put something on your head.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Oh Jesus, this is so you can be Wait, stop,
don't look yet, don't in your eyes. Okay, I'm gonna
take mine off, because you know what, you and I
get to be a version of each other. You can
open your eyes.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Now, Jesus Christ, what the fuck is that?
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Look? You get to be me for a day if
you want to. You can walk around like luracaneow. And
you know what, I even made you another one with
a different lauracane.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Oh my god, this one I'm much younger, really cool.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
So look if you had it on right and didn't
look like, you know, like the monster with.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
My headphones and I look almost like you.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Oh my god, there you go. Now you can be me.
And now I'm you as a hero boss model, some
weird This does not look right at all.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
It's very disturbing, all.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
Right, so softboll Okay, not even the big thing, not.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Even the big thing, but anyway, Wow, clearly you're disturbed
by those and that was the that was the goal.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Okay, Okay, you're getting Okay. Did you want to keep me?
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Yeah, you know sometimes when you shot for others, you
just pick out something for yourself. Sure, that was my
fun little thing. Oh that's really closure eyes. Now you
can walk around like the housewives you always talk about.
Oh boy, just like them.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
There you go, who does that look like you? Okay, maybe.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Two years ago? But it wore off? Okay, so you
know what. That wasn't supposed to backfire on me. That
was supposed to embarrass you, not mely kill.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Okay, do you want to keep the bag? Do you
want to save the paper?
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Can I just make a statement at this time in
the competition as the real as the real punches start
getting thrown. Now that I know there's some sort of
very horrible theme. Mine is also a theme, but it
(19:49):
you know what, Look, we'll let the people on TikTok
the people on Instagram, our family on YouTube make the
decision whose was worse. So, as you stated in the beginning,
why oh my gosh, this is just no pads, ficial pad.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
But there's a theme. So but when when when the
when the American public finds out what you need to
do with it, it's gonna get a whole lot funnier. Okay,
I'm going to start.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Can I please start? Because absolutely you stated at one
point in the show that I, uh, I am a lady?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
You are? You did at one point saying last time
I checked, you were a lady. Yeah, Marie, disgusting out of.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Necessity. This isn't the theme hairstyle of this period of time,
but it needed you need hair of some sorts of
Here you go. This is the start. Okay, just put
this hat on, Just put the hat on, has air
attached to it. Okay, put the hat on.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Okay, got it.
Speaker 7 (21:16):
Now you're gonna put on the beard. Okay, okay, this
is just the beard.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
There's okay, there we go.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Now look at that. Okay, are we having any guesses
as to what this man is about to become?
Speaker 2 (21:35):
I'm gonna have sex with barnyard animals.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Oh my god, you can.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
What. Oh well, I mean it kind of I'm trying
to put.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
No, this is not it at all. That was not
it at all.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Oh no, you I'm not duck dynasty like a No,
not even closed.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Think think older, are much more older than that top.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
No, here, put this mustache on. That's part of it.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Okay, it's not of this era.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
It's not of that era.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I just want to ask you one.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Question you're gonna have to get up to.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Okay, what I mean, is this all you got?
Speaker 7 (22:21):
No?
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Okay, it started, it has started, it has yes, Okay,
this is the beginning. Okay, So take off your little
fake blanket with the miss miswritten quilted words.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Now, mind you, there's points deducted for that. No, are wait,
I can't. I can't get this enfold.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
I'm just gonna you put on these pants, which I've
already belted. So don't talk to me. Wow, go off
around the corner and put on the pants.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Here's the problem.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
What once again, I'm not wearing underwear? Well, I I
truly truly believe in these pants, which are like looser
than loose, but they are kind of thin. But you're fine,
You're fine, You're fine. You're fine, and I think in
this era, which you have not even guessed yet, they
(23:22):
didn't do that. So you're in good shape. So just
really tighten that bow because I know you're gonna complain.
I'm so thin, I can't. This don't fit my waist.
Yes they do.
Speaker 6 (23:38):
Okay, I like that fish notepad. Why everybody, it's in
that little plastic train fish at the grocery store.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Thank god. Take off your shirt? Here, what's next? Your armor? Okay?
So here, let me put it on. I can see
(24:12):
I told you that's exactly what he'd say. But you
just tighten him. Okay, deal with it all right, Now
here we go. Now here's your This is what's gonna
keep you safe in battle. All of this hoopily had
duply dah dress up blah blah blah blah is for
(24:34):
a final ending reason, as you will find out after.
I'm sure Eric provides me with something truly horrific, because this,
I'm guessing is not truly horrific yet not Okay, so
(24:59):
sit down, actually sit down. So you are you're a
warrior wearing a baseball hat, but that was because I
had Okay, so we're not done. But why don't you
(25:19):
start in on me, and then we'll finish finish each
other out.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
We'll finish their later.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
On, you know what I mean. I can't Claire just
put some music on because we did, come on, we
could keep this going. I'm getting nervous, and I'm this
is how I deal with nervous. The music I don't. Yes,
I guess.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I also have something for you. Close your eyes so
I'm know for you.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
What do we always here? Okay? Green hair?
Speaker 2 (25:56):
This is your magic hair.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Green magic hair. Okay, so you're right, all right, I'll
put my green magic hair on here, all of them
put on right up here.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Oh god, that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Is that better? That's because it's only supposed to be
like a little piece.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
It's just a little piece. All right, there we go, Okay,
perfect that. That's amazing.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
There we go.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Now like you, I also got your hat, so close
your eyes.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Okay, okay, what does the hat say? Oh god?
Speaker 4 (26:27):
Wait, first of all, my head is huge, so let
me I just it and make sure that what is
said on hat.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I know how you like word games?
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Do everybody see that?
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Mike? Who cheese? Harry? Now just say that several times?
Speaker 4 (26:50):
See, maybe I I look intelligent.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Cheese Harry, Yeah, I know.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
I got that.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
You have. You have a Harry coote and really bad hair.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
It's starting to feel I'm starting to feel in character
of some sort. Not I'm I'm terrified.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
So I also have for you. Close your eyes.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Hm hm.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
H open your eyes.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
Okay are these yellow stockings?
Speaker 2 (27:27):
There are yellow tights.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Okay, I open them on over my body, perfect, perfect, Okay,
Oh they oh they go up mid.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Very sexy yellow, yes, very very sexy. Yes.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Place at the ball that sold lemonade.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
And hot dog on a stick?
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Yes, stick. I feel like attison. Okay, here we go,
Here we go, Here we go, here we go.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
All right, here we go, absolutely stunning.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
All right, what else?
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Oh my god, lord king, amazing. Okay, close your eyes.
Speaker 5 (28:09):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 8 (28:13):
Okay, there better be some big end of this, because
there's wonder yours.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
Let me just I can't reiterate that enough.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
There's what some big ending to your to my madness?
Oh yes, there is?
Speaker 3 (28:37):
All right, no whatever, Okay, there we go. Ok So,
I'm from the eighties apparently, okay, all right, yep, okay,
I like that era.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Now is this all do I have? To worry about
anything else? Or is this that?
Speaker 3 (28:51):
No? No, no, oh okay, no, there's I was just
giving you a little breaks so you can start giving
me stuff.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
What's this? Oh?
Speaker 4 (29:04):
These are leg warmers.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Okay, the cheapest of fun, cheapest of thin leg warmers.
You know what you had it? I think they Actually
I'm looking cute right now, so I don't know what
your deal is here. I'm going to move back to
this hold.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
On the camera. See wow, that is really now these
should probably go up, they don't go up higher. Well
that that's stunning. Now if you could just lift your
legs over your head so everybody could see the full.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
And then you'll stand up in a minute. Okay, now
what okay, Now, how many do I have left? How
about that?
Speaker 2 (29:53):
A couple?
Speaker 3 (29:53):
All right?
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Lorcane, eyes closed.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Hands out, all right. So I'm wearing some pantaloons.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Yeah those are wow. Those are stunning.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
They look like a.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
Little like I have a diaper underneath.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Yeah, those are stunning. Oh wow those are great? Uh
huh yeah all right, okay, great, okay.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
Perfect in my hometown, no problem, eyes closed, hand, okay, God,
all right, Bozo the clown shoes. All right, clown shoes.
I can handle this.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
You're gonna look stunning.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Let me I think I have.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
The big one for you, the last one for you,
and let me see if I have.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
A couple other I have a couple other little things
for you to Okay, now hold your feet up so
that everybody can see those beautiful shoes. Well, they are stunning.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
With the pantaloons and the little.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Look at those shoes. Wow, those are those are those
are sexy? Now show them to everybody on Instagram. Here
you go, look at those Wow.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
I purposely made these loose so you could put one
of these guys in front. No one goes on side
and one goes on side. Oh okay, but I made
them loose.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Okay, these are beautiful, Lee? Did you did you have
these custom made?
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Shut up? I wanted you to shut your mouth. You
get Also, I want you to have leg protections for all.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
The blow jobs that I'm going to be giving to
hear your knee pass. Oh great, you know I needed those.
My my other ones got worn out.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
And when you're done putting on uh, I'll help you
with that. Here's your little man purse.
Speaker 4 (32:11):
Because back in the warrior days or whatever.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
What era? What era is this warrior? He was the warrior.
Speaker 6 (32:19):
Yeah, it's whatever you wanted to be medieval.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Yeah, she's like not even.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I look more like mad Max.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Here's where you keep like dead men's teeth or something.
I don't know. And you're a little purse, little man purse.
So there's that now here. Okay, let's not worry about
that right now. I'm gonna put you the whole thing together,
because okay, give me the last few things and then
(32:53):
let's save one and one I have one more left
for you. Well then and then and then we have
to make the decision, because okay, there we go.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Oh, thank you, Claire.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Uh, these are just little little accessories. I have a
cat on a toilet reading a newspaper. Thank you. So
those are for my ear rings that need to be that.
They they're so cheap. I have to put them together myself.
The hanging earrings, Oh yes, so I will do that.
I will do that, okay, okay, and then if I lose.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Hands out, eyes closed, okay, okay, those are anal beads.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Well, where am I supposed to showcase these? You tell me? Well, no,
if I'm going in a store.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
All right, and then of course you're going to need
to put your accessories in, like your anal beads, earrings.
You're fishing. So here's a nice little like you got
me a satchel. There's a nice little satchel for you.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
Okay. The satchel says, oh, good for all my essentials,
O bag?
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Oh bad?
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Yes, perfect, Okay.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
I want you to close your eyes all right, Jesus happening. Okay, close, okay,
keep them closed.
Speaker 3 (34:25):
I will keep them closed. Keep they're closed. I like
to be surprised. Now. Look, it is essential that we
after this is over, Claire thinks this out thoroughly about
(34:48):
what we each want to achieve. Okay, this looks this
feels huge and all sorts of wrong, and like it
feels like it's banning in some sense.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Kind of okay. So, Laura, yes, you know this is
twenty twenty six and you've been saying forever that you
want a boyfriend. So I'd like you to meet Jean
the Machine Jean, which he is. Also he was naked.
He's got a very hairy chest.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
Oh wow, I love a hairy chest.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
I didn't want him to come in here naked so
he's wearing the T shirt that you'll be wearing that
says if it's clogged, I'm involved. So I'm gonna Jean's
couldn't do a little stress? Okay, now, Laura Kane, this
is all yours.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
Oh my gosh, I feel like I'm on a game show,
like I just want to like the Showcase showdown, okay.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Or like the f Street Bookstore Showdown.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
No, keep his little T shirt on. That's too cute.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Well, but you get to wear this.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Oh and by the way, just an fyi, yes.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
When you go shopping, Jean's coming with you.
Speaker 4 (36:02):
Oh, I know, I understand that.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
So he's okay.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
So all right, so this is all mine. Yes, I
obviously am in portrayed as some like crazy ho bag
obviously from I literally says.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Ho bag.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
In the medieval times or whatever I'm trying to portray. Here,
what's the outfit is put together? You'll see there was
something back in the day that used to protect a
man's most vital jewels, the family jewels, the penis.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
It wasn't a jot strap and it wasn't underwear, two
things you.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Don't own or wear. But this from way back hundreds
and hundreds of years ago. My friend, is what you're
gonna start wearing.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
A cod piece?
Speaker 3 (37:09):
Well, I got you.
Speaker 4 (37:13):
The best t MoU's best thickest metal leather.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
Cod piece.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
Ever the butt.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
It's gonna it's gonna fit right over your essentials perfectly.
We're gonna we're gonna figure out these fits. Oh see
this is look I even got the right side.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
Well, I don't know about that, but.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Now sit down at the current moment. It would take
us a while to get all of our cells looking
one hundred percent with the picture. And who won? Who
didn't want to do that? Yes, so we could do
it two ways, and I think we should do it
(38:09):
two ways. Okay, First, I want to know Claire, producer Claire,
because I feel like you are smart enough and you
know us well enough to know what we're gonna eventually
look like when all of this is all put together
and our intentions behind the terrible team exchange. I feel
(38:34):
like you can look look past all that like look beyond,
and we want to know who you and you won't
hurt my feelings. Are you gonna hurt her? Will she
hurt your feelings? If you lose? I'm saying you're not
(38:55):
gonna hurt my feelings. You're not gonna hurt his feelings.
We want you to be honest. Yeah, that's what I
was trying to say. Yeah, right, sure, Claire. Yeah, who
won the Terrible Temu Christmas Gift Exchange twenty twenty five?
Speaker 6 (39:19):
In my opinion, Eric won the Terrible Team of Christmas.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Twenty twenty five.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Okay, wait a minute, Wait a minute, Wait a minute,
now listen, wait a minute, wait one. But are we
gonna put it to an audience? Yes, we are gonna
put it to an audience vote. We're gonna put it.
We're gonna get all dolled up. We're gonna do the thing.
Maybe we'll do the punishment next week. Yeah, okay, all right, Yeah,
(39:47):
I'm so mad right now, I'll have no salaiva so
he gets you're not like this.
Speaker 6 (39:53):
What is hurting my feelings is Eric not talking into
his mic.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Oh yeah, I'm sorry, Claire. I'll do whatever you want, okay, Claire.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Yeah. Out of anybody I know on this planet's supposed
to appreciate what you did for Eric, I am beyond
shot again. I'm not no hurt is not come into
this because this is you're supposed to. You are being honest,
and I appreciate that, but.
Speaker 6 (40:23):
My can I can I talk more about my philosophy?
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Absolutely, I am on pins and needles, so in.
Speaker 6 (40:31):
My I mean, dare I say expert opinion? I was like,
which would I least would be worse to go into
a grocery store in? And I think what Laura's wearing
would be worse to go into a grocery store store
in than what Eric is wearing.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
That was the only criteria, that was the deciding factor.
Speaker 6 (40:55):
Okay, I could walk you could maybe walk past. It's
all browns, and you could make the copiece is tough.
The codpiece is like definitely Jerry on top, like that's tough.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Oh yeah, but but I'll make it work.
Speaker 6 (41:08):
If he's across the grocery store from you, you don't
notice him. He's wearing brown and black.
Speaker 4 (41:12):
When the big silver cod piece off his pants.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
Listen, I'm I'm gonna be in Hillcrest. Do you think
anybody's gonna be looking at my face?
Speaker 4 (41:21):
Nobody's looking gonna be looking at either of us.
Speaker 2 (41:24):
Just to be honest, but Claire, I could probably get
a date looking like this.
Speaker 4 (41:30):
You know, the decision on this end has been made, Claire,
I'm not the audience.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
No, I know, so it's twofold. Wait we have we
have an audience member. I can Can you please get
up here and speak, just because it would be nice
to hear you on the mic.
Speaker 4 (41:51):
This is my roommate Marie, and I hear her moaning
and groaning, and.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
I need to know your thoughts.
Speaker 5 (42:00):
I'm just gonna say something I think right now. Eric
looks horrible and Laura looks cute.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Mmmm.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
Oops, you tell him. I just want to say that.
Speaker 5 (42:11):
But these shirts and this GenEd something kind of make
it harder to say something.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
But I wanted to say that. I believe my accessory
was the thing that brought down, brought me down. It's
basically what you're trying to say, the accessory that I
have to use when I do.
Speaker 4 (42:36):
He elevates, He inched ahead of me.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
He inched ahead of me.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
What oh the anal beads?
Speaker 3 (42:46):
All right, reconsider this year. Two weeks you are off
the least girlfriend eyes off. For sure, she's gonna be
like all about me, but it started that way. But no, anyway,
all right, anyway, now we want to hear from you
(43:08):
on Instagram. TikTok, our first TikTok livestream and of course
our freshest YouTubers. We're going to put up a picture
on all of our socials everywhere we can, all dolled
up with everything, and we want you to be the
final deciders, and then we will mention mention, We will
(43:34):
announce the loser next week, and then the person has
to go up to which was one time Vond's. It's
not even bonds anymore.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
It's pavilion fancy now fancy to the crackheads of all
moved Downtown's pavilion.
Speaker 3 (43:56):
It's worse than ever.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (44:00):
Anyways, so thank you so much, Instagram family.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
Love you.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
I'm actually getting kind of turned on by this outfit.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
Thank you so much. TikTok.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
Love you, oh my god, love you guys so much.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
Thank you YouTube. Thank you guys for listening and watching
after the fact and casting your judgments upon me.
Speaker 4 (44:30):
As always, because Eric seems to be.
Speaker 3 (44:32):
The favorite no matter what he does. No, I'm just kidding. No,
we put your vote and we will and we'll let
you know next week.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
I'm good with these two votes.
Speaker 5 (44:45):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
I am, on the other hand, not.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
Okay. These are the two most important ones.
Speaker 3 (44:55):
No, they're not. Everybody else in the world.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
It's gonna be voting are Yeah, okay, Harry couch r
He's are.
Speaker 4 (45:06):
Now I'm starting to fit my persona.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
Oh wow wow. And if you if you heard our backstory,
someone stole this ship. Oh yeah, that's right.
Speaker 3 (45:19):
Somebody stole this hat, this hair, the butt plug, the
clown shoe, yeah, the butt plug yeah. Wait, and the
blow up doll.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
No, the blow up doll came separately.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
What about I clogged the toilet?
Speaker 2 (45:35):
Uh no, that got stolen to.
Speaker 4 (45:41):
Yeah, so this teaches somebody a lesson.
Speaker 3 (45:44):
Yeah, don't steal.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Don't steal. It's not nice.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
No, it's horrific.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Yeah. So everything that you're wearing, the clown she is
the only thing that didn't get stolen was the blow
up guy. Okay and the blanket. Oh okay, Oh that
would have really.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
Been something anyway. All right, well we gotta get dressed
with the picture perfect. Thank you, I love you, Merry Christmas.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
Why are you saying it was such a tight lip.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
Like, because I have no saliva right.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
Now, so you're so, honey, I love it. Yourvous Just
to dry my mouth, I can't try.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
Oh God, I've been nervously this.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
Oh god. Yeah, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
You right now, but I love you at the same time. Anyway,
you guys, shut you back next week.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
You really are by everything.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
Love your podcast.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
I love your podcast. No, I mean I love you.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
No, I don't think you do.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
I really do love your podcast.
Speaker 3 (47:08):
Love you my sleep babies. Bye guys. By oh my gosh.
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