December 23, 2024 • 39 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, John Boy has a creepy new way to say, good morning.. - The Chronic Lyrichosis Holiday Special gets one more run before getting packed away.. - The Playhouse brings a surprising story involving the Pope.. - We’ll play Pillars favorite holiday song.. - listen close for the names of your friends and family in today's edition of Dumb Crook News.. - Musician Gary Hoey joins us in studio for some rockin’ versions of Christmas Classics and a impromptu jam session with John Boy on the trumpet.. .
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
It's a big show on your radio. Thanks for joining
us this morning.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Good day.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
You're old pal STEVI here, No, not the former idiot intern,
the crocodile Stalker. And you're listening to my two favorite
bonds of mates, John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
I'll tell you it's nice to be high and dry
and safe and sound in this Knacker studio. Hey, what's
this wire for?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Good morning? The Big Show is on the radio. How
are you? Good morning?
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Good?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Good morning?
Speaker 5 (01:07):
Can you can you smile in a good morning?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Good morning?
Speaker 6 (01:13):
You're gonna kill me today?
Speaker 7 (01:14):
Don't you want that?
Speaker 5 (01:14):
He?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
No? I think as professional broadcasters all you should.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
You should be able to communicate in your voice with
whatever words you're saying.
Speaker 8 (01:26):
He plays cards with J. D. Shelder, the chief of police.
Speaker 9 (01:28):
You are a genius. Say like a good morning.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
You shouldn't be like good morning. Think about that.
Speaker 7 (01:39):
No, good.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Morning.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
Your teeth aren't making out.
Speaker 6 (01:46):
That's the problem you're saying. Don't let the words do
the speaking. Let the inflection.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Inflection in your voice.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
You should be able to read in your voice whether
somebody is happy to be here and really mean when.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
They say good morning. Do you already mean that or
you just I think really mean?
Speaker 6 (02:00):
Are the two words that stand out of it?
Speaker 5 (02:05):
I mean, here it is Monday morning, the greatest country
in the world.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Should be.
Speaker 5 (02:12):
Good morning again? Should be? Are the two words in
that sentence? Welcome to anything can happen?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Day Master tears.
Speaker 10 (02:22):
Oh my gosh, it's the seldom scene John number six,
the unpredictable one.
Speaker 6 (02:34):
I don't know about y'all.
Speaker 8 (02:37):
It is like working with Sybil sometimes, isn't it.
Speaker 11 (02:41):
Ah, He's been smiling since he walked through the door.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Man, something is up. It's Christmas time in the city.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
Shut up?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Why day?
Speaker 12 (02:58):
Good morning?
Speaker 5 (03:00):
Shut up? Or said.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
No?
Speaker 13 (03:04):
This must have been what it was like hanging around
Graceland about nineteen seventy five at this time of year.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
You know this is this is dinner time at the
Daughner party. That's why I forget there.
Speaker 6 (03:14):
Were more handguns and fireworks.
Speaker 5 (03:17):
Yeah, you're right, hey, you snaggle pusses, gummy gusses.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
These are the mornings I love.
Speaker 14 (03:24):
Yeah with me, Let me just turn that on. Let
me see what he's really thinking. Could you hold your
head just really still for a second.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
John, Oh, id plate?
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Why am I.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
All right?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Randy? Good morning.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
Yeah, don't you yell at Jackie, mister Gumpley Guss.
Speaker 6 (03:46):
Did you hear the conversation show? Did you hear did
you hear what?
Speaker 5 (03:51):
I don't have to hear the conversation. I just know
that you turned around and yelled at her.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I will not have lease.
Speaker 14 (03:56):
Let me explain. She said, what's the temperature? I said
it's freezing. She said freezing. I said, yeah, thirty two
degrees freezing in thirty two degrees.
Speaker 6 (04:04):
No, it's thirty two degrees. But you said it was freezing.
Speaker 9 (04:07):
It's thirty two degrees. Well, you know, rendy.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Not everybody's got their nose up.
Speaker 11 (04:12):
The weather's hind in.
Speaker 6 (04:13):
Like I got a long range prediction for Christmas throughout
the South.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Does this have to do with a white Christmas?
Speaker 5 (04:20):
No, it'll be cold, it would be nice. Wait and
had white Christmas in years in the South. Well, then
you want to go up north.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
John.
Speaker 8 (04:29):
It's not like he can do anything about it.
Speaker 6 (04:32):
Oh, I didn't get you on him. Snowmaking machines put
it out in the front yard. Your neighbors said, you know,
what are they gonna do again?
Speaker 13 (04:43):
It's hard to pay press for Christmas with snow hein't
that right, mister Johnson.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
The Hick said it again.
Speaker 6 (04:53):
That would be though, I'll pay for half of it.
Speaker 5 (04:58):
Man, there's this there's this guy that it's not snow
making machine, but it's like fake snow that he that
he uses and uh developed it for movie sets and
stuff like that. You know what I'm talking Thatt Fillers
and it's just recently about him.
Speaker 6 (05:12):
You don't want to know the plastics. It's degradable.
Speaker 11 (05:15):
That's why, because you know.
Speaker 15 (05:18):
You know one of the malls Hollywood is one of
the malls has one blowing snow off the roofs as
you exit the mall, which doesn't freak too many people out.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
So maybe maybe we'll look into that.
Speaker 6 (05:34):
I'm telling you you want to get one, Billy, What
shouldn't he come?
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Absolutely?
Speaker 11 (05:38):
Yeah, he put it at the door and leave it
out overnight and then complain because I can't get to
work on snow.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
That would be cool? Would that be cool? If like
I had that? Well, everybody all y'all's power was out.
Remember mine was only power. The snow blower is going.
Speaker 6 (06:00):
It was bad enough that you came in.
Speaker 15 (06:01):
Well he never went on the air with this, but
it came in telling us how hot his bathroom.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Heated bathroom.
Speaker 6 (06:07):
We're shivering by the gas fireplaces.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
Good morning, all right, y'all, listen up. Give me legs
up of this date in history for our Outburst game.
Composer Ludvig von Beethoven would have been two hundred and
thirty two. Beethoven was twenty two when he paid nineteen
cents for his first music lesson. He was a bit
(06:33):
of a casanova who surrounded himself with lots of women.
Speaker 6 (06:37):
I like the baby dogs.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
His female admirers would hear his music or see him play,
and they would faint. Oh yeah, I know what that feels.
Speaker 6 (06:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:51):
They put here sort of like what happened to Mick
Jagger or the Beatles, but well whatever, who were they? Yeah.
He died in eighteen twenty seven from carahsis crosis cirrhosis
of the liver. Yeah, and pumonia. Cara hostis I think
is in Indiana somewhere.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I'm not with that.
Speaker 6 (07:12):
He invented the caara hosts. People used to go into
the bars and sing them.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
That's right, yeah music. So he was born on this
date two. He died in eighteen twenty seven, but we
don't know how old he was. You couldn't we No, Well,
what is this soothing music? I'm here, It's just.
Speaker 6 (07:30):
Some classical music to go along with a classical composer.
Thank you, good morning, good warning.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
It was on the state.
Speaker 5 (07:39):
In seventeen seventy three, the Boston Tea Party took place
as American colonists disguised as.
Speaker 6 (07:45):
Wait, I need something British my people, there.
Speaker 5 (07:50):
You go, Hey boarded the British ship in Boston Hobba
and done more than three hundred yes of tea overboard
and to protest against tea taxes. And finally, on this
date in nineteen eighty Kentucky Fried Chicken founder Colonel Harlan
David Saunders, Die Saunders, not Colonel Saunders, Rentdecker.
Speaker 6 (08:14):
Youander's name. Hell, it's like one of the basic food groups.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
It looked different.
Speaker 5 (08:23):
Don't be harassing him.
Speaker 16 (08:24):
It's different.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
There is entirely different.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
Most most prost Sanders, Yeah, Colonel Sanders, it's different.
Speaker 8 (08:35):
Yep, how about that at ninety Agree, that's ninety years old.
Speaker 6 (08:39):
But yeah, uh.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
We ever found out that cigarette recipe?
Speaker 6 (08:44):
Well, judging from what I've read about his later years,
it might be liquor.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
Well, anyway, that's where we're getting our categories. If you
would like to play, we in fight you the dial
one eight hundred, Big show.
Speaker 6 (09:01):
Show morning.
Speaker 13 (09:07):
Dollar let's lad of course, Corporal Sanders with his hair,
little nephew.
Speaker 9 (09:35):
Good morning to big shows on the radio.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Come out that amount of many hours. Come upst let's
play upburst. It's the game that anyone can win. John Boys,
damn games. He puzes from the now. You want to
get anything number one, A lot of funks and you're
(10:00):
playing out. Have them hurry up and guess time you
have the best time. You leve them big shots.
Speaker 17 (10:08):
Out of it.
Speaker 5 (10:09):
Your time calling out our first contesting for the week
will out of moment, Alabama, we shot.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
We all doing up there?
Speaker 5 (10:22):
Man hey, well we're doing good.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
You all right, buddy, And I've failed any better. I
bet flat open.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
Ah, man, I'm having to sit on both hands, cliff
and waving to everybody.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Got that sick flags wave going on.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Gosh, sure do man, I hear you, I hear you.
Speaker 9 (10:35):
All right, Well we're gonna jump in here, gonna.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
Jump in here. No rendie, I can't look.
Speaker 8 (10:41):
We're not gonna jump in there, all right, well here
we go.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
I need three classic composers ready go from Beethoven Box.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
That's three years.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Will we need three brands of tea ready to.
Speaker 7 (10:55):
Go lifting Community in Brooklyton or Healing brook.
Speaker 8 (11:00):
Brooks and done almost a boot scooting.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Tea strong tea.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
Yeah, and well for the win the three fast food
Chicken places ready.
Speaker 7 (11:13):
To go, Spreck Churchers and Kentucky Friday.
Speaker 17 (11:16):
Well yeah, you got it.
Speaker 5 (11:18):
Well for mobile ins went on.
Speaker 18 (11:22):
Kay yay, you a.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
Good morning, held on Jackie, get you infimation, buddy, you
have a good day, all.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Right, Thank you John Boy, first time getting through Man Show,
your show, Thank you appreciate it.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Good morning.
Speaker 19 (11:40):
The Big shows on the radio, Well, well, well you've
obviously got nothing better to do. Well, maybe you're just
not smart enough to change the dial. Whatever the reason
you're listening to John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Huh Dan one.
Speaker 20 (12:00):
Day, Good morning, Good Monday morning.
Speaker 5 (12:39):
Make shows on the radio coming up. We can play
John Boy, Jebity your next year. We join the winners
right now.
Speaker 13 (12:43):
Let's see Christmas TV special is on, Get Ready for
Christmas like you've never heard it before. It's John Boys
chronic lyricosist Christmas Special hark the Hairy Angels scene.
Speaker 5 (12:56):
You better watch you better not right, better not pile.
Speaker 21 (13:00):
I'm telling your wife, Santa Claus is going to town.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
It's bacon and lips, chicken and Rice.
Speaker 21 (13:12):
Come to find out he's naughty, all right, Santa Claus
is going to town.
Speaker 5 (13:22):
It's these two when you're sleeping.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
And those when you're alway.
Speaker 5 (13:28):
He knows if you're in bed for good, So be
good for good.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Miss Blake.
Speaker 13 (13:34):
Yeah, everybody, second favorite Jolly Old Elf brings you a
buttload of holiday cheer. Police knuck me down, your favorite
holiday classics.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
Police snack me.
Speaker 5 (13:45):
Down as only John Boy would do. The police knock
me down.
Speaker 17 (13:49):
So get up.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
I'm going to leave, sweethearts.
Speaker 20 (13:53):
I'm gonna left a merry Christmas.
Speaker 5 (13:57):
I'm gonna left through.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
A merry Christmas.
Speaker 9 (14:00):
I'm gonna left you a merry Christmas.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Fandabada on my heart.
Speaker 13 (14:05):
He may not quite know the words, but he's definitely
got the Christmas spirit.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
Mule tie never sounded like this.
Speaker 12 (14:16):
Dag Dolls with balls and Harley's falling on a log
and Underdog ten seas into big trolley falling on a
log and Underdog don Rinaldo's Barrel Loaded Dodding.
Speaker 5 (14:37):
Roll, the ancient low side Barrel.
Speaker 18 (14:43):
Long, No, No, No World, Who Moneyes.
Speaker 13 (15:00):
Walk Jeanes, Don't miss John Boys chronic Lyricosa's Christmas Special.
Speaker 5 (15:09):
We went through a Merry Christmas.
Speaker 12 (15:11):
We went through a merry Chris must We went through
a merry Christmas, and I had me two beers. We
went through a merry Christmas. We went through a merry Christmas.
We went through a merry Christmas.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
And I had made two beers. Good tidy, Sweet dreams
to you and your kid. Get tidy for Christmas if
you're having two beers.
Speaker 13 (15:35):
Park the Hairy Angels sing Christmas Eve at ight on
the only networked this desperate for programming, Fox Family Channel.
Speaker 5 (16:07):
Good Morning, a big show. It's on the radio. I'm
turn away from the hour. That's time.
Speaker 13 (16:15):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode The
Morning Train. As our story opens, a slightly disheveled irishman
wanders down the aisle of a morning train bound for Dublin.
Speaker 22 (16:30):
When Irish eyes are sliding charges like comebnin Spring, Oh
Lord Spring, it's a laird of my Irish laughter. You
can harcy.
Speaker 23 (16:49):
Alright alright, tell about bababy, care about the morning?
Speaker 17 (16:56):
How about finding yourself a perch? There, mister songbird.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Of the morning.
Speaker 23 (17:02):
Sister names Michael Finnegan, will sister Mary Mercy.
Speaker 17 (17:07):
Now do me a fairy?
Speaker 24 (17:08):
Well?
Speaker 17 (17:08):
Ye, sit down before you fall down?
Speaker 4 (17:11):
Now, I'm not sitting.
Speaker 16 (17:15):
It's not a bad idea, yougiver lordinated he there?
Speaker 6 (17:22):
Now?
Speaker 17 (17:22):
Would you mind not breathing on me?
Speaker 5 (17:24):
La?
Speaker 4 (17:26):
What?
Speaker 22 (17:29):
I'm sorry?
Speaker 4 (17:30):
If I mind?
Speaker 5 (17:31):
If we have a peek at your newspaper there your sea?
Speaker 4 (17:35):
All right?
Speaker 5 (17:36):
Now, ball of Doorsbury? When now let's see what we
got here at the water rot. I know everything there
is to go about about the crying game.
Speaker 17 (17:57):
Looks like more of the same to me, more a same.
That sounds like the story of your life, whole life, now,
don't it? I said, sounds like the story of your
whole life?
Speaker 6 (18:07):
Now?
Speaker 17 (18:08):
Don't you anyway?
Speaker 5 (18:10):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (18:11):
Oh?
Speaker 17 (18:12):
Nothing, don't question me.
Speaker 6 (18:13):
I'm a nun.
Speaker 9 (18:14):
Hey, sister nice wrack.
Speaker 5 (18:19):
Do you know anything about the the orthoritis?
Speaker 7 (18:23):
Well?
Speaker 24 (18:23):
Like? What? Like?
Speaker 5 (18:25):
What cause is it?
Speaker 4 (18:26):
Well?
Speaker 23 (18:27):
If you must know, it's caused by loose living? O,
sure it is, Godlin Roth got whiskey carousing around?
Speaker 24 (18:37):
Oh?
Speaker 17 (18:37):
No, I get so mad caruising around with loose women to.
Speaker 23 (18:44):
All hours of the nighttime and generally living for yourself
and your own appetites without announce of compassion for your
fellow man.
Speaker 9 (18:55):
Is well, now you reckon?
Speaker 17 (18:59):
You learn something every d.
Speaker 23 (19:01):
We'll say there, mister Finnigan, I want to apologize to
you for the bad accent and yelling at you like that. Well,
there's no call to blow a feller out of the
water first thing in the morning.
Speaker 17 (19:13):
I should know better.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Ah, think nothing of it, sister.
Speaker 17 (19:17):
So how long have you had the arthritis?
Speaker 4 (19:20):
What was it? Oh? My don't.
Speaker 9 (19:22):
I'm just reading here that the poop does.
Speaker 8 (19:31):
Sure, And we hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
I always know that.
Speaker 5 (19:39):
Tune, and again next time we're here.
Speaker 13 (19:41):
The crusty old conductor at Dublin station say, hey, big man,
let me.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
Hold a dollar.
Speaker 17 (19:49):
Kiss herself.
Speaker 9 (19:52):
It's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 5 (19:54):
I can't read this all right, sir, I'll read it.
Speaker 19 (19:58):
Good morning. This is Nigel Cadbury, Master Boys, faithful Gentleman's gentlemen,
and you're listening to Master Boy and young Sir William
on the big show. It's my responsibility to make sure
that master boy gets up and gets to work on time.
Speaker 6 (20:15):
So when he's laid it's my fault.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Oh sir, I feel so.
Speaker 5 (20:56):
Good morning a Monday, Monday morning, big shows on the radio,
come up on John Boyds every the time.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
It's just a couple of minutes.
Speaker 5 (21:02):
Your chance to join the winners. You haven't a birthday today,
Happy birthday, you're sharing one with comedian Elaine Boozeler.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Don't worry.
Speaker 8 (21:10):
They're not doing they're saying booze alert.
Speaker 5 (21:13):
That didn't say much, Laine Boosler. Lately, Lely ain't been
around sci fi author Arthur see Clark. We just put
that on there because we wanted to hear you do that,
author Arthur, sci fi author or Arthur. It went exactly
as I think. Yeah, he wrote two thousand and one
of Space Odyssey in twenty ten. In nineteen ninety eight
(21:35):
he released three thousand and one The Final Odyssey. Yeah,
but you know it's kind of like the Freddy Krueger
The Final Nightmare. Okay, the absolute Final Nightmare. No, really,
we're serious this time. What to do in episode it? No,
you've never seen two thousand and one? U? No, not
three thousand, oh three thousand, episode thousand book. Yeah, you
(21:55):
used to play the two thousand and one Space Odyssey
theme from zus sterre Thuster or something like that. That's
actually not bad. Yeah, yeah, I'll get my french horn out.
I played a little bit of that for Yah. That's
good man, Okay, I'll make it stop.
Speaker 7 (22:12):
Dave, Stop Dave.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Our early listeners don't get to hear. Please Dave.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
My mind is going Dave, and.
Speaker 11 (22:20):
This french horn thing is going so well. I say,
after the first of the year, we do name that
TV theme song on a french horn.
Speaker 7 (22:27):
He stops, killer, please Dave, please Dave, Yeah.
Speaker 17 (23:08):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
All right, he.
Speaker 5 (23:15):
Get ready if it aim those Christmas songs exactly two
hours from right now.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
You'll have time to come on down.
Speaker 5 (23:25):
Shut up.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Fine, all right, dear, let's say John.
Speaker 5 (23:30):
Boarde everything oh closer than ever right now, hang on up,
good morning. The big show is on the radio. It
is John Boydjebtary time. All right, let's go some holiday
questions here on John Boydjebty. We've been dealing with the
ad wizards that created this traditional holiday event had a
(23:52):
great idea in nineteen twenty seven they added something huge
and at the end of the event they would release
them and whoever found them got a prize.
Speaker 8 (24:03):
Ah, the Hooters Christmas Party.
Speaker 22 (24:06):
Wow, that's a great idea.
Speaker 8 (24:10):
No, this goes the very first location now around Tampa.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
That's not it.
Speaker 5 (24:16):
Well, y'all think one eight hundred big show. You're told
free line, we'll talk with Color nine. Go to a
get a winter let's do it. Good morning, A big
(24:45):
shows on the radio coming out here in just a
little bit, a brand new episode of dumb crooked News.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I'll be ont a good weekend. You won't be hearing
your name and.
Speaker 5 (24:55):
Right now it's time.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Yes, life across americotes.
Speaker 17 (25:01):
John jumped, pretty.
Speaker 13 (25:04):
I know a man who's actually been to a hooteris
Christmas party and actually had to let go of something
huge at the end.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
Geez, John barr my tab. Let's go to Bill out
of Prattville, Alabama. Good morning, Bill, Good morning.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
As everything with you this morning?
Speaker 24 (25:27):
It was great?
Speaker 12 (25:28):
Thank you all right?
Speaker 5 (25:29):
Bill?
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Well Bell.
Speaker 5 (25:30):
The ad wizards that created this traditional holiday event had
a great idea in nineteen twenty seven. They added something
huge and at the end of the event they would
release them and whoever found them got a prize.
Speaker 20 (25:42):
I was gonna say, roaches.
Speaker 5 (25:44):
Mm hmm, they changed your mind. All right, let's see
show us roaches that buzz the biggest wood gets right?
All right, Bill, thanks for playing buddy. Happy holidays man,
(26:06):
Bob out of Buffalo, Missouri. It ain't Buffalo, Bob, is it?
Speaker 21 (26:09):
Yes?
Speaker 23 (26:10):
It is?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
I thought this might be you. How you doing, Bob?
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Good guys, Merry Christmas? All before I forget.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It, Merry Christmas?
Speaker 5 (26:17):
Do you two? Bob?
Speaker 8 (26:18):
Before we forget it?
Speaker 1 (26:19):
You finished when you're shopping.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I haven't started, so well, don't.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Go overboard for my gift, Bob. Okay, that's the thought
that counts.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
That's right, that's the way I look at it.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
All right.
Speaker 5 (26:31):
Then he'll just think about.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
It's there you go.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
That's right, all right, Bob, What are you guessing?
Speaker 5 (26:38):
Buddy?
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Man? I missed the question. Jackie reread it, so I
kind of came up with something just on the spur
of the moment.
Speaker 13 (26:44):
There.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Well, this ought to be good.
Speaker 7 (26:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:46):
Really of the last guy, I don't work.
Speaker 6 (26:48):
He careful roaches has.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Already Well that's probably as good as Bob, I said.
Speaker 6 (26:55):
Turkey said turkeys.
Speaker 5 (26:57):
Let's see, I tried that throwing them out of the
helicopter at that radio station they could fly. Yeah, didn't work,
and of course they were.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Frozen and.
Speaker 5 (27:11):
Bob, thanks for playing buddy.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Yeah a man?
Speaker 6 (27:15):
What was the later?
Speaker 5 (27:16):
Michael out of Stanton, Virginia. You are up my call,
doing good?
Speaker 4 (27:20):
Man? All right?
Speaker 5 (27:21):
Let me see roaches and turkeys have already been guessed.
What do you think, Michael show us reindeer? Ooh no,
not reindeer.
Speaker 6 (27:35):
Really yeah, that was my guest too.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Thanks for playing, Michael.
Speaker 6 (27:39):
You have a good day.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
All right, let's see I say yeah whatever, I'm over.
Speaker 6 (27:44):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
First of all, I guess you have to think about
the event or something or you know.
Speaker 8 (27:49):
First of all you have to think.
Speaker 5 (27:50):
Yeah, well, Brittany from Greensboro, North Carolina, where Lydia goes
to party. Brittany, how are you doing this morning?
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Doing good? So what do you think they get?
Speaker 5 (28:00):
Swaity, I'm thinking you say it is balloons?
Speaker 17 (28:07):
You are right.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Now bring me.
Speaker 5 (28:12):
This doesn't count because you have correctly answered the jeopardy question.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Do you know where they would release the big helium
balloons from? I had no idea. The Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.
Speaker 5 (28:26):
Well, they would just let them go at the end
of the parade.
Speaker 6 (28:28):
You know the big have you ever seen on TV?
Speaker 5 (28:30):
They got the giant Garfields or the big Scooby dudes
all like that. Yeah, and let him go and then
whoever find them will get a prize. That would be
so cool.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Let me see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day prey balloons.
Speaker 5 (28:43):
The first ones were a Dotson, the Little Dog, a dinosaur,
and a bunch of turkeys. So really the turkey answer
wasn't that far away, but I think he was talking
about live turkeys. Yeah, yeah, that'd be fun. You see
come big a Scooby Doo coming down at the sky.
You think it's the end of the world. Yeah, all right, Brittany,
(29:05):
I know we've given you a lot to think about.
What are you gonna do today? Well, I'm on my
way to school, so I'll tell all my friends say.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Yeah, well, Brittany, what school do.
Speaker 6 (29:14):
You go to?
Speaker 4 (29:15):
Conrad Academy.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Alright, well there you are.
Speaker 5 (29:18):
It's Britney Day, winner of John Boy, Jeopardy, Smoke Gold,
stupid adults.
Speaker 6 (29:23):
I'll hail lay that part.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Out, Brittany.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
All right, no, swey do you hold on, Jackie? Get
your information? Big old prize pack coming your way. Okay,
good Monday morning, ever, Bode, I've got a big show
on the radio coming up next. Pillar's favorite Christmas song?
Why trash Christmas. It's absolutely good morning to big shows
(30:21):
on your radio. What about your favorite Christmas song? The
(30:43):
stockies are hung by the wood burner stove.
Speaker 24 (30:46):
Papa just told me that's a well done bros. Mama's
on the couch just picking their nose.
Speaker 17 (30:51):
It's a white gosh Christmas.
Speaker 24 (30:55):
Daddy get the gun for when the reindeer comes. Mama
said she could get it to kill us one. We
both love honey because there's so much fun.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
It's a white trash Christmas.
Speaker 17 (31:06):
We got seven pats.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Scratch him.
Speaker 5 (31:09):
Please under gave the artificial tree.
Speaker 24 (31:12):
While my certificate and my stock ging Mama is always wan.
I'm one stop shopping bacon, mags and beer.
Speaker 17 (31:19):
For saying the God bless us every one.
Speaker 24 (31:22):
God bless us every one.
Speaker 21 (31:29):
He always knows.
Speaker 5 (31:29):
He is on my sister's shoulder. When our cousin comes over.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
He likes to hold her.
Speaker 24 (31:34):
She best getting in the kitchen just and my gouts
hold her.
Speaker 17 (31:36):
It's a white trash Christmas, everybody. He got turkeys ma'am.
Speaker 24 (31:42):
Beans and yams, pamas having flashbacks of ps.
Speaker 7 (31:45):
Ma'm grab the kids, go.
Speaker 24 (31:47):
Run and hide, take shelter underneath the double wine, bacon,
exa and beer for saying the God bless us every one,
God bless us every one. Mama spent the last of
her welfare checked and buy Grandpa card enough cigarrettes.
Speaker 6 (32:07):
But she knows that it'll make his best Christmas.
Speaker 17 (32:09):
Yet it's a white trash Christmas.
Speaker 24 (32:14):
The dog one took another dump on the floor. Mama
is making up a fresh batch of mars.
Speaker 4 (32:19):
Daddy got drunken in his head on the door.
Speaker 17 (32:21):
It's a white trash Christmas.
Speaker 24 (32:25):
My presents are wrapped in the comic strips good Welshir
and Yoda rests, fresh.
Speaker 6 (32:31):
Beef, turkey and a six and millar lights.
Speaker 24 (32:33):
When supported night began, mags and beer for sands, A
God bless sus.
Speaker 5 (32:41):
Becon Mags and beer for sands.
Speaker 24 (32:43):
God bless sus, every one, God bless suss, every one.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
A big show is on a radio.
Speaker 5 (33:16):
As we get toward halfway at the broadcast a day,
the final hour will have Gary Hoy.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
It was some Christmas music for us.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
Yeah, we were.
Speaker 5 (33:25):
Parted that right now, it's time for an episode of
Dumb Crook News. Dumb crookd News by you to make
sure listener we appreciate you and the address will follow
this report. A Rhode Island man and a hitchhiker he
picked up we're both charged with stealing the same car
(33:47):
in a twenty four hour period, at least say the
first man hot wired the car from an apartment complex
in Austin, Texas, and was driving back to Rhode Island
when he picked up the hitchhiker in Arkansas. Well, when
the first thiefs up to the gas station in Rowan, O,
Virginia for bathroom break, the hedgehiker took off in the car.
The Rhode Island man actually reported the theft to police.
(34:09):
There's a good plan became suspicious when the alleged victim
couldn't remember the car's license plate number.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Both he and thief number two were quickly arrested. There
ain't no one or among thieves.
Speaker 5 (34:23):
Two Mansfield Township, New Jersey men got into a fight
that landed one in the hospital and the other in jail.
Police say the men were arguing over which one had
the Harrius buttocks.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
In Orlando, ah, but we're red next exactly.
Speaker 5 (34:43):
The investigators say one man got so mad during the
argument that he slashed his buddy in the head with
a knife. Victim was in good condition in the local hospital.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
You know he order to slash him, and the butt
talks that'd have to shave you.
Speaker 5 (35:00):
There's a police and superior Wisconsin the rest of the
man for disorderly conduct after he annoyed patrons of a
local bar with excessive Santa Claus imitations. Oh man, when
they said, the man was calling people his elves ho
ho hoeing and so on. When asked to leave the bar,
(35:21):
the man said he couldn't because he was waiting for
his sleigh and reindeer. The man refused to break character
even as police were leading him away to jail. Man,
I'll just let you explain this to the boys.
Speaker 4 (35:36):
Good.
Speaker 5 (35:40):
A Brooklyn, New York woman took her son to see
Santa Claus at a local mall. When the boy took
his turn on the jolly old ELF's lap, he turned
to his mom and said, Santa is daddy. Well the
mall Santa was the woman's ex husband, wanted by the
cops for failure to pay child support. Yeah, The woman
had the court paper with her and served them to
(36:02):
her ex husband on the spot, right there in front
of the gap. Jimmy, I've got both of those hills,
and Satah's gonna have to find another work to pay
his tab. He was fired by the mall after getting
into a shouting match with his ex wife, which traumatized
several of the children waiting in line to.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Say him.
Speaker 22 (36:26):
Santa Claus, it did me.
Speaker 5 (36:31):
Houston, Texas man was sentenced to thirty years in prison
for kidnapping two local women. At least say the man
forced the women to buy him twinkies and no does,
then made them accompany him on a tour of local
Christmas lights. Hey, y'all, let's all watch this get better.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Back up, we missed some of that who says all
the good ones are gone.
Speaker 5 (36:53):
A Columbia Heights, Missouri man hatched a plan to take
advantage of the holiday generosity of his neighbors by setting
himself up in front of a local kmart as a
bell ringing representative of the Salvation Army, complete with an
authentic looking collection kettle. That didn't take long for real
Salvation Army worker to spot the fraud to report him
to police.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Well gave him away. Well, he was set up outside.
Speaker 5 (37:14):
Of kmart on a Sunday afternoon, and the real Salvation
Army doesn't ring its collection bells on Sunday.
Speaker 9 (37:21):
I didn't get that memo.
Speaker 5 (37:24):
I'm new Mayor Lee Young resigned from office in Galena, Missouri,
after being threatened with impeachment. To retaliate, Young took most
of the town's Christmas decorations with him when he left office. Wow,
said Young. I probably could be bigger about this, but
I'm not going to. And finally, a Los Angeles man
(37:48):
employed by a major package delivery company stole over fourteen
thousand dollars in customer packages and dazzled his relatives with
extravagant Christmas gifts last year. Family members can quite buy
the man's tales of the good money that he was making,
and reported him to police. Investigators say the man didn't
bother to buy gift boxes for his presence. He simply
(38:10):
wrapped them in the boxes they had been shipped in
with the address labels of the intended recipients. Still the tides.
Speaker 9 (38:20):
A red gifter.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
He didn't work out it that much.
Speaker 5 (38:24):
If you have dumb crup news Melo to Dumb Crook
News Dumb Big Show po Box seventy six sixty three, Charlotte,
n C.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Two A two four one. We'd appreciate.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
Good more than everybody.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
The Big Show is right here on the radio.
Speaker 5 (38:42):
Safety Christ, You're lifted.
Speaker 16 (38:44):
The Two Fine Lads two Boite, dedicated to putting spite
on your faith and a song in your heart as
long as you buy their bloody grillin sauce, John Boy
and Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 5 (38:58):
Faith and Begora, M Do.
Speaker 6 (39:07):
Someting.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
Crom
It's a big show on your radio. Thanks for joining
us this morning.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Good day.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
You're old pal STEVI here, No, not the former idiot intern,
the crocodile Stalker. And you're listening to my two favorite
bonds of mates, John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
I'll tell you it's nice to be high and dry
and safe and sound in this Knacker studio. Hey, what's
this wire for?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Good morning? The Big Show is on the radio. How
are you? Good morning?
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Good?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Good morning?
Speaker 5 (01:07):
Can you can you smile in a good morning?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Good morning?
Speaker 6 (01:13):
You're gonna kill me today?
Speaker 7 (01:14):
Don't you want that?
Speaker 5 (01:14):
He?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
No? I think as professional broadcasters all you should.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
You should be able to communicate in your voice with
whatever words you're saying.
Speaker 8 (01:26):
He plays cards with J. D. Shelder, the chief of police.
Speaker 9 (01:28):
You are a genius. Say like a good morning.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
You shouldn't be like good morning. Think about that.
Speaker 7 (01:39):
No, good.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Morning.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
Your teeth aren't making out.
Speaker 6 (01:46):
That's the problem you're saying. Don't let the words do
the speaking. Let the inflection.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Inflection in your voice.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
You should be able to read in your voice whether
somebody is happy to be here and really mean when.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
They say good morning. Do you already mean that or
you just I think really mean?
Speaker 6 (02:00):
Are the two words that stand out of it?
Speaker 5 (02:05):
I mean, here it is Monday morning, the greatest country
in the world.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Should be.
Speaker 5 (02:12):
Good morning again? Should be? Are the two words in
that sentence? Welcome to anything can happen?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Day Master tears.
Speaker 10 (02:22):
Oh my gosh, it's the seldom scene John number six,
the unpredictable one.
Speaker 6 (02:34):
I don't know about y'all.
Speaker 8 (02:37):
It is like working with Sybil sometimes, isn't it.
Speaker 11 (02:41):
Ah, He's been smiling since he walked through the door.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Man, something is up. It's Christmas time in the city.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
Shut up?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Why day?
Speaker 12 (02:58):
Good morning?
Speaker 5 (03:00):
Shut up? Or said.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
No?
Speaker 13 (03:04):
This must have been what it was like hanging around
Graceland about nineteen seventy five at this time of year.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
You know this is this is dinner time at the
Daughner party. That's why I forget there.
Speaker 6 (03:14):
Were more handguns and fireworks.
Speaker 5 (03:17):
Yeah, you're right, hey, you snaggle pusses, gummy gusses.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
These are the mornings I love.
Speaker 14 (03:24):
Yeah with me, Let me just turn that on. Let
me see what he's really thinking. Could you hold your
head just really still for a second.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
John, Oh, id plate?
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Why am I.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
All right?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Randy? Good morning.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
Yeah, don't you yell at Jackie, mister Gumpley Guss.
Speaker 6 (03:46):
Did you hear the conversation show? Did you hear did
you hear what?
Speaker 5 (03:51):
I don't have to hear the conversation. I just know
that you turned around and yelled at her.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I will not have lease.
Speaker 14 (03:56):
Let me explain. She said, what's the temperature? I said
it's freezing. She said freezing. I said, yeah, thirty two
degrees freezing in thirty two degrees.
Speaker 6 (04:04):
No, it's thirty two degrees. But you said it was freezing.
Speaker 9 (04:07):
It's thirty two degrees. Well, you know, rendy.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Not everybody's got their nose up.
Speaker 11 (04:12):
The weather's hind in.
Speaker 6 (04:13):
Like I got a long range prediction for Christmas throughout
the South.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Does this have to do with a white Christmas?
Speaker 5 (04:20):
No, it'll be cold, it would be nice. Wait and
had white Christmas in years in the South. Well, then
you want to go up north.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
John.
Speaker 8 (04:29):
It's not like he can do anything about it.
Speaker 6 (04:32):
Oh, I didn't get you on him. Snowmaking machines put
it out in the front yard. Your neighbors said, you know,
what are they gonna do again?
Speaker 13 (04:43):
It's hard to pay press for Christmas with snow hein't
that right, mister Johnson.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
The Hick said it again.
Speaker 6 (04:53):
That would be though, I'll pay for half of it.
Speaker 5 (04:58):
Man, there's this there's this guy that it's not snow
making machine, but it's like fake snow that he that
he uses and uh developed it for movie sets and
stuff like that. You know what I'm talking Thatt Fillers
and it's just recently about him.
Speaker 6 (05:12):
You don't want to know the plastics. It's degradable.
Speaker 11 (05:15):
That's why, because you know.
Speaker 15 (05:18):
You know one of the malls Hollywood is one of
the malls has one blowing snow off the roofs as
you exit the mall, which doesn't freak too many people out.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
So maybe maybe we'll look into that.
Speaker 6 (05:34):
I'm telling you you want to get one, Billy, What
shouldn't he come?
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Absolutely?
Speaker 11 (05:38):
Yeah, he put it at the door and leave it
out overnight and then complain because I can't get to
work on snow.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
That would be cool? Would that be cool? If like
I had that? Well, everybody all y'all's power was out.
Remember mine was only power. The snow blower is going.
Speaker 6 (06:00):
It was bad enough that you came in.
Speaker 15 (06:01):
Well he never went on the air with this, but
it came in telling us how hot his bathroom.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Heated bathroom.
Speaker 6 (06:07):
We're shivering by the gas fireplaces.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
Good morning, all right, y'all, listen up. Give me legs
up of this date in history for our Outburst game.
Composer Ludvig von Beethoven would have been two hundred and
thirty two. Beethoven was twenty two when he paid nineteen
cents for his first music lesson. He was a bit
(06:33):
of a casanova who surrounded himself with lots of women.
Speaker 6 (06:37):
I like the baby dogs.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
His female admirers would hear his music or see him play,
and they would faint. Oh yeah, I know what that feels.
Speaker 6 (06:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:51):
They put here sort of like what happened to Mick
Jagger or the Beatles, but well whatever, who were they? Yeah.
He died in eighteen twenty seven from carahsis crosis cirrhosis
of the liver. Yeah, and pumonia. Cara hostis I think
is in Indiana somewhere.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I'm not with that.
Speaker 6 (07:12):
He invented the caara hosts. People used to go into
the bars and sing them.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
That's right, yeah music. So he was born on this
date two. He died in eighteen twenty seven, but we
don't know how old he was. You couldn't we No, Well,
what is this soothing music? I'm here, It's just.
Speaker 6 (07:30):
Some classical music to go along with a classical composer.
Thank you, good morning, good warning.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
It was on the state.
Speaker 5 (07:39):
In seventeen seventy three, the Boston Tea Party took place
as American colonists disguised as.
Speaker 6 (07:45):
Wait, I need something British my people, there.
Speaker 5 (07:50):
You go, Hey boarded the British ship in Boston Hobba
and done more than three hundred yes of tea overboard
and to protest against tea taxes. And finally, on this
date in nineteen eighty Kentucky Fried Chicken founder Colonel Harlan
David Saunders, Die Saunders, not Colonel Saunders, Rentdecker.
Speaker 6 (08:14):
Youander's name. Hell, it's like one of the basic food groups.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
It looked different.
Speaker 5 (08:23):
Don't be harassing him.
Speaker 16 (08:24):
It's different.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
There is entirely different.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
Most most prost Sanders, Yeah, Colonel Sanders, it's different.
Speaker 8 (08:35):
Yep, how about that at ninety Agree, that's ninety years old.
Speaker 6 (08:39):
But yeah, uh.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
We ever found out that cigarette recipe?
Speaker 6 (08:44):
Well, judging from what I've read about his later years,
it might be liquor.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
Well, anyway, that's where we're getting our categories. If you
would like to play, we in fight you the dial
one eight hundred, Big show.
Speaker 6 (09:01):
Show morning.
Speaker 13 (09:07):
Dollar let's lad of course, Corporal Sanders with his hair,
little nephew.
Speaker 9 (09:35):
Good morning to big shows on the radio.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Come out that amount of many hours. Come upst let's
play upburst. It's the game that anyone can win. John Boys,
damn games. He puzes from the now. You want to
get anything number one, A lot of funks and you're
(10:00):
playing out. Have them hurry up and guess time you
have the best time. You leve them big shots.
Speaker 17 (10:08):
Out of it.
Speaker 5 (10:09):
Your time calling out our first contesting for the week
will out of moment, Alabama, we shot.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
We all doing up there?
Speaker 5 (10:22):
Man hey, well we're doing good.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
You all right, buddy, And I've failed any better. I
bet flat open.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
Ah, man, I'm having to sit on both hands, cliff
and waving to everybody.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Got that sick flags wave going on.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Gosh, sure do man, I hear you, I hear you.
Speaker 9 (10:35):
All right, Well we're gonna jump in here, gonna.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
Jump in here. No rendie, I can't look.
Speaker 8 (10:41):
We're not gonna jump in there, all right, well here
we go.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
I need three classic composers ready go from Beethoven Box.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
That's three years.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Will we need three brands of tea ready to.
Speaker 7 (10:55):
Go lifting Community in Brooklyton or Healing brook.
Speaker 8 (11:00):
Brooks and done almost a boot scooting.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Tea strong tea.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
Yeah, and well for the win the three fast food
Chicken places ready.
Speaker 7 (11:13):
To go, Spreck Churchers and Kentucky Friday.
Speaker 17 (11:16):
Well yeah, you got it.
Speaker 5 (11:18):
Well for mobile ins went on.
Speaker 18 (11:22):
Kay yay, you a.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
Good morning, held on Jackie, get you infimation, buddy, you
have a good day, all.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Right, Thank you John Boy, first time getting through Man Show,
your show, Thank you appreciate it.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Good morning.
Speaker 19 (11:40):
The Big shows on the radio, Well, well, well you've
obviously got nothing better to do. Well, maybe you're just
not smart enough to change the dial. Whatever the reason
you're listening to John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Huh Dan one.
Speaker 20 (12:00):
Day, Good morning, Good Monday morning.
Speaker 5 (12:39):
Make shows on the radio coming up. We can play
John Boy, Jebity your next year. We join the winners
right now.
Speaker 13 (12:43):
Let's see Christmas TV special is on, Get Ready for
Christmas like you've never heard it before. It's John Boys
chronic lyricosist Christmas Special hark the Hairy Angels scene.
Speaker 5 (12:56):
You better watch you better not right, better not pile.
Speaker 21 (13:00):
I'm telling your wife, Santa Claus is going to town.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
It's bacon and lips, chicken and Rice.
Speaker 21 (13:12):
Come to find out he's naughty, all right, Santa Claus
is going to town.
Speaker 5 (13:22):
It's these two when you're sleeping.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
And those when you're alway.
Speaker 5 (13:28):
He knows if you're in bed for good, So be
good for good.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Miss Blake.
Speaker 13 (13:34):
Yeah, everybody, second favorite Jolly Old Elf brings you a
buttload of holiday cheer. Police knuck me down, your favorite
holiday classics.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
Police snack me.
Speaker 5 (13:45):
Down as only John Boy would do. The police knock
me down.
Speaker 17 (13:49):
So get up.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
I'm going to leave, sweethearts.
Speaker 20 (13:53):
I'm gonna left a merry Christmas.
Speaker 5 (13:57):
I'm gonna left through.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
A merry Christmas.
Speaker 9 (14:00):
I'm gonna left you a merry Christmas.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Fandabada on my heart.
Speaker 13 (14:05):
He may not quite know the words, but he's definitely
got the Christmas spirit.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
Mule tie never sounded like this.
Speaker 12 (14:16):
Dag Dolls with balls and Harley's falling on a log
and Underdog ten seas into big trolley falling on a
log and Underdog don Rinaldo's Barrel Loaded Dodding.
Speaker 5 (14:37):
Roll, the ancient low side Barrel.
Speaker 18 (14:43):
Long, No, No, No World, Who Moneyes.
Speaker 13 (15:00):
Walk Jeanes, Don't miss John Boys chronic Lyricosa's Christmas Special.
Speaker 5 (15:09):
We went through a Merry Christmas.
Speaker 12 (15:11):
We went through a merry Chris must We went through
a merry Christmas, and I had me two beers. We
went through a merry Christmas. We went through a merry Christmas.
We went through a merry Christmas.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
And I had made two beers. Good tidy, Sweet dreams
to you and your kid. Get tidy for Christmas if
you're having two beers.
Speaker 13 (15:35):
Park the Hairy Angels sing Christmas Eve at ight on
the only networked this desperate for programming, Fox Family Channel.
Speaker 5 (16:07):
Good Morning, a big show. It's on the radio. I'm
turn away from the hour. That's time.
Speaker 13 (16:15):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode The
Morning Train. As our story opens, a slightly disheveled irishman
wanders down the aisle of a morning train bound for Dublin.
Speaker 22 (16:30):
When Irish eyes are sliding charges like comebnin Spring, Oh
Lord Spring, it's a laird of my Irish laughter. You
can harcy.
Speaker 23 (16:49):
Alright alright, tell about bababy, care about the morning?
Speaker 17 (16:56):
How about finding yourself a perch? There, mister songbird.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Of the morning.
Speaker 23 (17:02):
Sister names Michael Finnegan, will sister Mary Mercy.
Speaker 17 (17:07):
Now do me a fairy?
Speaker 24 (17:08):
Well?
Speaker 17 (17:08):
Ye, sit down before you fall down?
Speaker 4 (17:11):
Now, I'm not sitting.
Speaker 16 (17:15):
It's not a bad idea, yougiver lordinated he there?
Speaker 6 (17:22):
Now?
Speaker 17 (17:22):
Would you mind not breathing on me?
Speaker 5 (17:24):
La?
Speaker 4 (17:26):
What?
Speaker 22 (17:29):
I'm sorry?
Speaker 4 (17:30):
If I mind?
Speaker 5 (17:31):
If we have a peek at your newspaper there your sea?
Speaker 4 (17:35):
All right?
Speaker 5 (17:36):
Now, ball of Doorsbury? When now let's see what we
got here at the water rot. I know everything there
is to go about about the crying game.
Speaker 17 (17:57):
Looks like more of the same to me, more a same.
That sounds like the story of your life, whole life, now,
don't it? I said, sounds like the story of your
whole life?
Speaker 6 (18:07):
Now?
Speaker 17 (18:08):
Don't you anyway?
Speaker 5 (18:10):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (18:11):
Oh?
Speaker 17 (18:12):
Nothing, don't question me.
Speaker 6 (18:13):
I'm a nun.
Speaker 9 (18:14):
Hey, sister nice wrack.
Speaker 5 (18:19):
Do you know anything about the the orthoritis?
Speaker 7 (18:23):
Well?
Speaker 24 (18:23):
Like? What? Like?
Speaker 5 (18:25):
What cause is it?
Speaker 4 (18:26):
Well?
Speaker 23 (18:27):
If you must know, it's caused by loose living? O,
sure it is, Godlin Roth got whiskey carousing around?
Speaker 24 (18:37):
Oh?
Speaker 17 (18:37):
No, I get so mad caruising around with loose women to.
Speaker 23 (18:44):
All hours of the nighttime and generally living for yourself
and your own appetites without announce of compassion for your
fellow man.
Speaker 9 (18:55):
Is well, now you reckon?
Speaker 17 (18:59):
You learn something every d.
Speaker 23 (19:01):
We'll say there, mister Finnigan, I want to apologize to
you for the bad accent and yelling at you like that. Well,
there's no call to blow a feller out of the
water first thing in the morning.
Speaker 17 (19:13):
I should know better.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Ah, think nothing of it, sister.
Speaker 17 (19:17):
So how long have you had the arthritis?
Speaker 4 (19:20):
What was it? Oh? My don't.
Speaker 9 (19:22):
I'm just reading here that the poop does.
Speaker 8 (19:31):
Sure, And we hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
I always know that.
Speaker 5 (19:39):
Tune, and again next time we're here.
Speaker 13 (19:41):
The crusty old conductor at Dublin station say, hey, big man,
let me.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
Hold a dollar.
Speaker 17 (19:49):
Kiss herself.
Speaker 9 (19:52):
It's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 5 (19:54):
I can't read this all right, sir, I'll read it.
Speaker 19 (19:58):
Good morning. This is Nigel Cadbury, Master Boys, faithful Gentleman's gentlemen,
and you're listening to Master Boy and young Sir William
on the big show. It's my responsibility to make sure
that master boy gets up and gets to work on time.
Speaker 6 (20:15):
So when he's laid it's my fault.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Oh sir, I feel so.
Speaker 5 (20:56):
Good morning a Monday, Monday morning, big shows on the radio,
come up on John Boyds every the time.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
It's just a couple of minutes.
Speaker 5 (21:02):
Your chance to join the winners. You haven't a birthday today,
Happy birthday, you're sharing one with comedian Elaine Boozeler.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Don't worry.
Speaker 8 (21:10):
They're not doing they're saying booze alert.
Speaker 5 (21:13):
That didn't say much, Laine Boosler. Lately, Lely ain't been
around sci fi author Arthur see Clark. We just put
that on there because we wanted to hear you do that,
author Arthur, sci fi author or Arthur. It went exactly
as I think. Yeah, he wrote two thousand and one
of Space Odyssey in twenty ten. In nineteen ninety eight
(21:35):
he released three thousand and one The Final Odyssey. Yeah,
but you know it's kind of like the Freddy Krueger
The Final Nightmare. Okay, the absolute Final Nightmare. No, really,
we're serious this time. What to do in episode it? No,
you've never seen two thousand and one? U? No, not
three thousand, oh three thousand, episode thousand book. Yeah, you
(21:55):
used to play the two thousand and one Space Odyssey
theme from zus sterre Thuster or something like that. That's
actually not bad. Yeah, yeah, I'll get my french horn out.
I played a little bit of that for Yah. That's
good man, Okay, I'll make it stop.
Speaker 7 (22:12):
Dave, Stop Dave.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Our early listeners don't get to hear. Please Dave.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
My mind is going Dave, and.
Speaker 11 (22:20):
This french horn thing is going so well. I say,
after the first of the year, we do name that
TV theme song on a french horn.
Speaker 7 (22:27):
He stops, killer, please Dave, please Dave, Yeah.
Speaker 17 (23:08):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
All right, he.
Speaker 5 (23:15):
Get ready if it aim those Christmas songs exactly two
hours from right now.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
You'll have time to come on down.
Speaker 5 (23:25):
Shut up.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Fine, all right, dear, let's say John.
Speaker 5 (23:30):
Boarde everything oh closer than ever right now, hang on up,
good morning. The big show is on the radio. It
is John Boydjebtary time. All right, let's go some holiday
questions here on John Boydjebty. We've been dealing with the
ad wizards that created this traditional holiday event had a
(23:52):
great idea in nineteen twenty seven they added something huge
and at the end of the event they would release
them and whoever found them got a prize.
Speaker 8 (24:03):
Ah, the Hooters Christmas Party.
Speaker 22 (24:06):
Wow, that's a great idea.
Speaker 8 (24:10):
No, this goes the very first location now around Tampa.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
That's not it.
Speaker 5 (24:16):
Well, y'all think one eight hundred big show. You're told
free line, we'll talk with Color nine. Go to a
get a winter let's do it. Good morning, A big
(24:45):
shows on the radio coming out here in just a
little bit, a brand new episode of dumb crooked News.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I'll be ont a good weekend. You won't be hearing
your name and.
Speaker 5 (24:55):
Right now it's time.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Yes, life across americotes.
Speaker 17 (25:01):
John jumped, pretty.
Speaker 13 (25:04):
I know a man who's actually been to a hooteris
Christmas party and actually had to let go of something
huge at the end.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
Geez, John barr my tab. Let's go to Bill out
of Prattville, Alabama. Good morning, Bill, Good morning.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
As everything with you this morning?
Speaker 24 (25:27):
It was great?
Speaker 12 (25:28):
Thank you all right?
Speaker 5 (25:29):
Bill?
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Well Bell.
Speaker 5 (25:30):
The ad wizards that created this traditional holiday event had
a great idea in nineteen twenty seven. They added something
huge and at the end of the event they would
release them and whoever found them got a prize.
Speaker 20 (25:42):
I was gonna say, roaches.
Speaker 5 (25:44):
Mm hmm, they changed your mind. All right, let's see
show us roaches that buzz the biggest wood gets right?
All right, Bill, thanks for playing buddy. Happy holidays man,
(26:06):
Bob out of Buffalo, Missouri. It ain't Buffalo, Bob, is it?
Speaker 21 (26:09):
Yes?
Speaker 23 (26:10):
It is?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
I thought this might be you. How you doing, Bob?
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Good guys, Merry Christmas? All before I forget.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It, Merry Christmas?
Speaker 5 (26:17):
Do you two? Bob?
Speaker 8 (26:18):
Before we forget it?
Speaker 1 (26:19):
You finished when you're shopping.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I haven't started, so well, don't.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Go overboard for my gift, Bob. Okay, that's the thought
that counts.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
That's right, that's the way I look at it.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
All right.
Speaker 5 (26:31):
Then he'll just think about.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
It's there you go.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
That's right, all right, Bob, What are you guessing?
Speaker 5 (26:38):
Buddy?
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Man? I missed the question. Jackie reread it, so I
kind of came up with something just on the spur
of the moment.
Speaker 13 (26:44):
There.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Well, this ought to be good.
Speaker 7 (26:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:46):
Really of the last guy, I don't work.
Speaker 6 (26:48):
He careful roaches has.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Already Well that's probably as good as Bob, I said.
Speaker 6 (26:55):
Turkey said turkeys.
Speaker 5 (26:57):
Let's see, I tried that throwing them out of the
helicopter at that radio station they could fly. Yeah, didn't work,
and of course they were.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Frozen and.
Speaker 5 (27:11):
Bob, thanks for playing buddy.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Yeah a man?
Speaker 6 (27:15):
What was the later?
Speaker 5 (27:16):
Michael out of Stanton, Virginia. You are up my call,
doing good?
Speaker 4 (27:20):
Man? All right?
Speaker 5 (27:21):
Let me see roaches and turkeys have already been guessed.
What do you think, Michael show us reindeer? Ooh no,
not reindeer.
Speaker 6 (27:35):
Really yeah, that was my guest too.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Thanks for playing, Michael.
Speaker 6 (27:39):
You have a good day.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
All right, let's see I say yeah whatever, I'm over.
Speaker 6 (27:44):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
First of all, I guess you have to think about
the event or something or you know.
Speaker 8 (27:49):
First of all you have to think.
Speaker 5 (27:50):
Yeah, well, Brittany from Greensboro, North Carolina, where Lydia goes
to party. Brittany, how are you doing this morning?
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Doing good? So what do you think they get?
Speaker 5 (28:00):
Swaity, I'm thinking you say it is balloons?
Speaker 17 (28:07):
You are right.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Now bring me.
Speaker 5 (28:12):
This doesn't count because you have correctly answered the jeopardy question.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Do you know where they would release the big helium
balloons from? I had no idea. The Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.
Speaker 5 (28:26):
Well, they would just let them go at the end
of the parade.
Speaker 6 (28:28):
You know the big have you ever seen on TV?
Speaker 5 (28:30):
They got the giant Garfields or the big Scooby dudes
all like that. Yeah, and let him go and then
whoever find them will get a prize. That would be
so cool.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Let me see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day prey balloons.
Speaker 5 (28:43):
The first ones were a Dotson, the Little Dog, a dinosaur,
and a bunch of turkeys. So really the turkey answer
wasn't that far away, but I think he was talking
about live turkeys. Yeah, yeah, that'd be fun. You see
come big a Scooby Doo coming down at the sky.
You think it's the end of the world. Yeah, all right, Brittany,
(29:05):
I know we've given you a lot to think about.
What are you gonna do today? Well, I'm on my
way to school, so I'll tell all my friends say.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Yeah, well, Brittany, what school do.
Speaker 6 (29:14):
You go to?
Speaker 4 (29:15):
Conrad Academy.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Alright, well there you are.
Speaker 5 (29:18):
It's Britney Day, winner of John Boy, Jeopardy, Smoke Gold,
stupid adults.
Speaker 6 (29:23):
I'll hail lay that part.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Out, Brittany.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
All right, no, swey do you hold on, Jackie? Get
your information? Big old prize pack coming your way. Okay,
good Monday morning, ever, Bode, I've got a big show
on the radio coming up next. Pillar's favorite Christmas song?
Why trash Christmas. It's absolutely good morning to big shows
(30:21):
on your radio. What about your favorite Christmas song? The
(30:43):
stockies are hung by the wood burner stove.
Speaker 24 (30:46):
Papa just told me that's a well done bros. Mama's
on the couch just picking their nose.
Speaker 17 (30:51):
It's a white gosh Christmas.
Speaker 24 (30:55):
Daddy get the gun for when the reindeer comes. Mama
said she could get it to kill us one. We
both love honey because there's so much fun.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
It's a white trash Christmas.
Speaker 17 (31:06):
We got seven pats.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Scratch him.
Speaker 5 (31:09):
Please under gave the artificial tree.
Speaker 24 (31:12):
While my certificate and my stock ging Mama is always wan.
I'm one stop shopping bacon, mags and beer.
Speaker 17 (31:19):
For saying the God bless us every one.
Speaker 24 (31:22):
God bless us every one.
Speaker 21 (31:29):
He always knows.
Speaker 5 (31:29):
He is on my sister's shoulder. When our cousin comes over.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
He likes to hold her.
Speaker 24 (31:34):
She best getting in the kitchen just and my gouts
hold her.
Speaker 17 (31:36):
It's a white trash Christmas, everybody. He got turkeys ma'am.
Speaker 24 (31:42):
Beans and yams, pamas having flashbacks of ps.
Speaker 7 (31:45):
Ma'm grab the kids, go.
Speaker 24 (31:47):
Run and hide, take shelter underneath the double wine, bacon,
exa and beer for saying the God bless us every one,
God bless us every one. Mama spent the last of
her welfare checked and buy Grandpa card enough cigarrettes.
Speaker 6 (32:07):
But she knows that it'll make his best Christmas.
Speaker 17 (32:09):
Yet it's a white trash Christmas.
Speaker 24 (32:14):
The dog one took another dump on the floor. Mama
is making up a fresh batch of mars.
Speaker 4 (32:19):
Daddy got drunken in his head on the door.
Speaker 17 (32:21):
It's a white trash Christmas.
Speaker 24 (32:25):
My presents are wrapped in the comic strips good Welshir
and Yoda rests, fresh.
Speaker 6 (32:31):
Beef, turkey and a six and millar lights.
Speaker 24 (32:33):
When supported night began, mags and beer for sands, A
God bless sus.
Speaker 5 (32:41):
Becon Mags and beer for sands.
Speaker 24 (32:43):
God bless sus, every one, God bless suss, every one.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
A big show is on a radio.
Speaker 5 (33:16):
As we get toward halfway at the broadcast a day,
the final hour will have Gary Hoy.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
It was some Christmas music for us.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
Yeah, we were.
Speaker 5 (33:25):
Parted that right now, it's time for an episode of
Dumb Crook News. Dumb crookd News by you to make
sure listener we appreciate you and the address will follow
this report. A Rhode Island man and a hitchhiker he
picked up we're both charged with stealing the same car
(33:47):
in a twenty four hour period, at least say the
first man hot wired the car from an apartment complex
in Austin, Texas, and was driving back to Rhode Island
when he picked up the hitchhiker in Arkansas. Well, when
the first thiefs up to the gas station in Rowan, O,
Virginia for bathroom break, the hedgehiker took off in the car.
The Rhode Island man actually reported the theft to police.
(34:09):
There's a good plan became suspicious when the alleged victim
couldn't remember the car's license plate number.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Both he and thief number two were quickly arrested. There
ain't no one or among thieves.
Speaker 5 (34:23):
Two Mansfield Township, New Jersey men got into a fight
that landed one in the hospital and the other in jail.
Police say the men were arguing over which one had
the Harrius buttocks.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
In Orlando, ah, but we're red next exactly.
Speaker 5 (34:43):
The investigators say one man got so mad during the
argument that he slashed his buddy in the head with
a knife. Victim was in good condition in the local hospital.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
You know he order to slash him, and the butt
talks that'd have to shave you.
Speaker 5 (35:00):
There's a police and superior Wisconsin the rest of the
man for disorderly conduct after he annoyed patrons of a
local bar with excessive Santa Claus imitations. Oh man, when
they said, the man was calling people his elves ho
ho hoeing and so on. When asked to leave the bar,
(35:21):
the man said he couldn't because he was waiting for
his sleigh and reindeer. The man refused to break character
even as police were leading him away to jail. Man,
I'll just let you explain this to the boys.
Speaker 4 (35:36):
Good.
Speaker 5 (35:40):
A Brooklyn, New York woman took her son to see
Santa Claus at a local mall. When the boy took
his turn on the jolly old ELF's lap, he turned
to his mom and said, Santa is daddy. Well the
mall Santa was the woman's ex husband, wanted by the
cops for failure to pay child support. Yeah, The woman
had the court paper with her and served them to
(36:02):
her ex husband on the spot, right there in front
of the gap. Jimmy, I've got both of those hills,
and Satah's gonna have to find another work to pay
his tab. He was fired by the mall after getting
into a shouting match with his ex wife, which traumatized
several of the children waiting in line to.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Say him.
Speaker 22 (36:26):
Santa Claus, it did me.
Speaker 5 (36:31):
Houston, Texas man was sentenced to thirty years in prison
for kidnapping two local women. At least say the man
forced the women to buy him twinkies and no does,
then made them accompany him on a tour of local
Christmas lights. Hey, y'all, let's all watch this get better.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Back up, we missed some of that who says all
the good ones are gone.
Speaker 5 (36:53):
A Columbia Heights, Missouri man hatched a plan to take
advantage of the holiday generosity of his neighbors by setting
himself up in front of a local kmart as a
bell ringing representative of the Salvation Army, complete with an
authentic looking collection kettle. That didn't take long for real
Salvation Army worker to spot the fraud to report him
to police.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Well gave him away. Well, he was set up outside.
Speaker 5 (37:14):
Of kmart on a Sunday afternoon, and the real Salvation
Army doesn't ring its collection bells on Sunday.
Speaker 9 (37:21):
I didn't get that memo.
Speaker 5 (37:24):
I'm new Mayor Lee Young resigned from office in Galena, Missouri,
after being threatened with impeachment. To retaliate, Young took most
of the town's Christmas decorations with him when he left office. Wow,
said Young. I probably could be bigger about this, but
I'm not going to. And finally, a Los Angeles man
(37:48):
employed by a major package delivery company stole over fourteen
thousand dollars in customer packages and dazzled his relatives with
extravagant Christmas gifts last year. Family members can quite buy
the man's tales of the good money that he was making,
and reported him to police. Investigators say the man didn't
bother to buy gift boxes for his presence. He simply
(38:10):
wrapped them in the boxes they had been shipped in
with the address labels of the intended recipients. Still the tides.
Speaker 9 (38:20):
A red gifter.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
He didn't work out it that much.
Speaker 5 (38:24):
If you have dumb crup news Melo to Dumb Crook
News Dumb Big Show po Box seventy six sixty three, Charlotte,
n C.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Two A two four one. We'd appreciate.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
Good more than everybody.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
The Big Show is right here on the radio.
Speaker 5 (38:42):
Safety Christ, You're lifted.
Speaker 16 (38:44):
The Two Fine Lads two Boite, dedicated to putting spite
on your faith and a song in your heart as
long as you buy their bloody grillin sauce, John Boy
and Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 5 (38:58):
Faith and Begora, M Do.
Speaker 6 (39:07):
Someting.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
Crom
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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