July 2, 2025 • 40 mins
Wednesday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we have an unexpected visit from Cupid - to complain about the heat.. - Marvin Webster has a few thoughts on those high tech toilets that seemed to be making their way into the country.. - What would Summer be without a song from Hoyt and the Junior Nation Band about fishing?.. - The Mayor of Dismal Seepage tells us about his big plans for an Indepen-DANCE Festival.. - Stock up on everything a Southern Boy needs at JD's 24-hour Stores during their big Summer Sale.. - Mad Max phones in to tell us about his first Summer job.. - and Carl Childers walks us out with his review of the movie Independence Day…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning. You got the Big Show on al rady,
have more chances for you to win coming up after
your news, weather and sports.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Good morning, Thiscious Connery, Sean Connery. And you might think
that I'm just another sophisticated yet rugged Scottish movie star,
and you'd be right.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
What's my secret?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
The truth is I can't stop my day without listening
to the Big Show with John Boy and Billy trush Me.
They're a lot funnier than Doctor Noan blofeld.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
Oh, I could doodle dude, Oh have a body. I'm
(01:12):
Bob Scott.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
I wondered where he's been to Welcome to the Big Show.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
I wanted to want to wander where you've been, my friend?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
So what do you say? You good looking around that?
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Fly running into you lunch idea in your head?
Speaker 3 (01:37):
What did you say if eat a hamburger?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
You took you? I don't know where it's see.
Speaker 6 (01:42):
I used to take moments like this to go how
old are you?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
But it was funny then. If I do it now,
it's just kind of sad for both of us. Thank
you for sharing your thoughts and bringing me down saying
in the morning, that's the way come on back now, yeah,
(02:07):
used to tuning you out. A lot of people are,
and that's unfortunate since we're on the radio. But I
guess we did all right, you know, over over our
forty some years together here on the air on the
Big Show. No it's not so yeah, just try. You
might have to try a little harder to enjoy us
(02:28):
while you can't, I know, yeh, nerves getting frizled.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
That truth.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Raby was right again.
Speaker 7 (02:44):
I wish someone would step on you.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Thank you all right? Say here, well, just get to
our three days in history and let's get our first
prize back out and play? All right, wake up if
you ain't big shows on a radio. Good morning, Big
shows on a radio. First prize bag a high quality
signature series American flag from the premiere flag experts at
(03:13):
Condor Flags in Charlotte, North Carolina, made in the USA,
using all weather nylon with large embroidered stars and individually
so own strikes and making custom flags, banners and polls
for over eighty years. Check out Condorflags dot com. I
look for the link at the Big Show dot com.
Here's our three dates in history. Were well got our categories?
(03:37):
Will you to win?
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Here?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
We Go. Nineteen eighty two, Larry Walters rose to sixteen
thousand feet over La using a long chair and forty
two helium balloons. I think we covered that. Oh pray,
what's up? What doup? Nineteen ninety one, Joey Butafuko had
(03:58):
sexual relations with the sixteen year old Amy Fisher the
Freeport Motel in New York. Amy Fisher will send us
to five to fifteen years in prison for shooting. But
if you close wife Mary Joe in May of nineteen
ninety two, y'all crazy.
Speaker 7 (04:15):
He got in trouble for statutory correct I mean they
did get him.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, all right, I wasn't paying attention there.
Speaker 8 (04:24):
Sorry, you moved on.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yeah, well, let's move on to ninety two and see
our dat and history is the one million Chevrolet Corvette
rolled off the assembly line nineteen ninety two.
Speaker 7 (04:36):
Have they made those electric?
Speaker 5 (04:37):
Now? No?
Speaker 9 (04:37):
Are the Corvette's electric?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
They just made the Mustang electric.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Though, Yeah, but they turned it into an suv. Damn
you for it. I will concentrate on some shiites when
we get to this category one eight hundred big shows.
You told free Line we play out birds next. Good morning,
(05:23):
It's a big show on the Radio Thursday Morning, June
Live third our feature track for the Big Show, Big Box,
Mayor Decimal Secret Annual Independent Dance Festival, The Dance Fest.
Any words at the bit box, at the Big Show
dot Com and.
Speaker 8 (05:39):
Right now.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Upburst. Let's play Upburst. It's the game that anyone can be.
Speaker 10 (05:49):
Shoon Boy and Billy give the prizes from the Big
Prize Beer.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Let's go, he contested number one.
Speaker 10 (05:59):
This should be a lot of fun when you're playing outs.
Speaker 11 (06:04):
Have them urry up and gust.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Time you love the best time you love.
Speaker 9 (06:08):
A big shots, That said Robert Darlington, South Carolina Shots.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Hello, Good morning, Robbert, Oh, good morning, hey, Boddy, welcome.
All right, let's get you through these three categories. We're
sending positive vibes your way to get you. This big
old flag from Condor Flags. All right, Boddy, oh sounds great, alright,
Not that old stoop out in La floating up in
(06:44):
the air in his chair. Give us three kinds of
chairs ready to go.
Speaker 12 (06:51):
A loan chair, armchair and a barber's chair.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Byam Hi Robert. Three names of motel ready go.
Speaker 12 (07:03):
A motel speaks super eight and Halliday nice.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
And for the wind, three cheves, ready go.
Speaker 12 (07:14):
Of Silverado Tahoe in Corvette.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
And there is Robert out of Darlington, home of the
lady in black, and just that girl on Pearl Street
High five, right, little Darlington human Robert. Congratulations, buddy, you
got the big old American flag from Condor Flags right
out of Charlotte here.
Speaker 12 (07:36):
Oh that sounds great. I appreciate everything soon.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
All right, buddy, Will you hang on.
Speaker 13 (07:47):
All right?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Bottom of the hour or top of your news on
the other side, always remembering Rayford with a rag, remembering
rape on the other side, Good morning, the big shows
(08:37):
on the radio. Roberties in a studio back in the
day is an expression often heard from those who have
no clue to how things were back in the day,
like when families had meals together.
Speaker 14 (08:51):
Rayford remember, And I talked to someone recently who remembers,
as I do, the day when meal time the time
and family sat down together and all engaged in conversation.
Usually the big family meal was the evening meal, which
we called supper until we got sophisticated and called it dinner.
(09:11):
We called the midday meal dinner like dinner time, and
sometimes that was a main meal with a nap afterward
for the adults, she said, over dinner, my father briefed
my mother on the ins and outs of the day
at the office, while my siblings and eyes zoned out
or piped up or fought over, while my older sister
always got the corner seat. We sat down as a
(09:33):
family to a good, healthy meal. But dinner was not
what you'd call child's sentry, which was fine with us
and definitely fine with them. And you better mind your manners.
My ten years old sister reminded me how she minded
my manners. Seemed to me she watched every bite I
took and ordered to sit up straight. There's no such
(09:55):
thing as a cafeteria at school. You either brought something
in a brown paper back or ran home for lunch.
Schools were usually nearby, no such thing as a school
bus unless you lived out in the country, and mothers
were usually at home. And the word stress hadn't been invented.
Speaker 13 (10:13):
Ah.
Speaker 14 (10:13):
Yes, times have changed, apparently.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Robert D.
Speaker 14 (10:17):
Rayford, John Boy and Billy Show.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Good morning, it's Big Shaw on the radio. Let's turn
it over to mister Rubarb. Thank you give me the beat. Hello,
boys and girls, this is mister Rubar, the headmaster of
Carpool University. For those of you that farted around in
class all year, Welcome to Carpool you summer school, Well,
(11:07):
we do what we can to keep you from turning
into a mouth breathing moron between now the beginning of
fall semester. Well, since the fourth of July is.
Speaker 6 (11:17):
Right around the corner, today's topic is a quick refresher
course in American history. Let me preach about it. July
fourth is Independence Day. A long time ago, America was
run by a country called England. But one day a
bunch of Americans got tired of that crap and fought
a war against England to win our freedom. Just think
(11:41):
if those brave early Americans hadn't decided to stand up
and fight, today would all still be speaking English.
Speaker 13 (11:49):
There were a.
Speaker 6 (11:49):
Lot of different in the alerty years of America. There
were yes, okay, I'm along with it. Black people had
to work really hard without getting paid. It was called slavery,
and it was a very bad thing. But President Abraham
Lincoln put an end to slavery. Now it's against the
law to make somebody work without getting paid, although a
(12:12):
part time shift at McDonald's comes pretty close. In the
middle of the twentieth century, America fought a big war
against the Germans and the Japanese who said they were
going to take over America. But after we won the war,
the only part of America the Germans and the Japanese
were able to take over was the car business. One
(12:34):
of the most important things in America is education. We
made sure everybody had a chance to go to school.
Some of the smartest people in the world have been Americans,
great writers, scientists, and lots of inventors. Americans invented stuff
like the light bulb and the telephone and the airplane.
(12:55):
Then somebody invented TV and America started getting stupider again. Today,
America is still the land of freedom, but we're not perfect.
There are still things we could do a lot better,
like getting along with people who are a different color
than us and helping everybody find a good job, and
(13:15):
making the NFL quit acting like it's our fault when
one of their football players HiT's a girl. But America
is the land of the free, where we can say
whatever we want until we say the wrong thing and
have to close our Twitter account, where we can get
on a TV show even if we don't have any talent,
and if we're not as successful as we want to be,
(13:37):
we can change our name to Caitlin and start all
over again.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yes, this is.
Speaker 6 (13:42):
America where the men are men and sometimes so are
the women. There's a lot more to the story of America.
But since this is summer school and I don't really
want to be here anymore than you do, let's knock.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
All For the rest of the day.
Speaker 6 (13:58):
You can learn a lot more about America thanks to
another great thing we invented YouTube. When you finish learning stuff,
you can also use it to watch cats play the
piano and fat guys get hitting the nuggets. Just two
more of the great things about this great country. And
that's it for carpool you summer school until next time.
(14:21):
This is mister Rhubarb saying, this is mister Rhubarb. Happy
Independence Day, God bless America and quit ruining my life.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Good morning, you got the big show on the radio.
More chances you to win coming up after your news,
weather and sports.
Speaker 15 (14:40):
Oh oh, I did oh, I didn't see you there.
This is Professor Moving Handy Day, head of eh oh
ahead of the big show Science and History division, and
you're listening to two boys who are distant to be history.
Don Boy and Beddy on the Big Show.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Yo.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
When I say that Will, I didn't mean for pie
and make it.
Speaker 15 (15:04):
I simply meant that they they Oh, what did I mean?
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Good morning? Us have been on the radio. It is
Wednesday morning, July second, Man, y'all, let me go. I
thought it was July third, earlier this morning, y'all, y'all
didn't kidd y'all, y'all goes be sharp, y'all A must
have my back roll with it. Let me roll? That
was what the heck? I don't show up tomorrow thinking
(16:05):
too like, boy, y'all have that.
Speaker 16 (16:09):
Yeah, but I'll get two nights of fireworks.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
When's the July second? We got Big Show kids kid's
birthday Cannon Curry. Now I heard y'all talk arguing about this.
He's seven or eight. This is Stephen's son, Cannon. I
hope he grows up to be a shooter. He got
(16:34):
the name for him, made hey.
Speaker 13 (16:36):
I told Taylor, I said, how old is he too?
She looked at me like I had four heads?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
How old you tell me? Seven?
Speaker 9 (16:44):
Seven?
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Above that he got too many kids?
Speaker 7 (16:46):
I was like, you're thinking of his newest son, Am
and he ain't even your youngest son.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
That's right. So how many kids? Says has Pecker from
California gotten packer? You couldn't give him a better name.
He's just like your friend and uh Burlington.
Speaker 13 (17:01):
He's on number four so he hasn't got your friend
beat yet.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
He's trying to wait one more. He's got one more
to go, man. I know his bop, your brother Dale.
He's just had a birthday last week. I think were
they together? I know they're golfing.
Speaker 13 (17:16):
They're in Ireland. He's Stephan Enseth playing golf in Island.
So don't you just hate Dale's Like?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
What is he doing? Yes? And you doing a damn
good job of it? Ali, he is you say? Will
you say? Step son's name?
Speaker 5 (17:31):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Kayus kaus Okay, I'm asking me. He's one, he thought
he was two. He turned one and he's he's beautiful.
Speaker 9 (17:42):
His children are all beautiful.
Speaker 13 (17:44):
They're doing hey and the oldest frie well true, the
oldest one. You'll like this Riley. She's a huge volleyball
player like her grandmother.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Son. Yeah, yeah, she's good. All right, Well, good stuff, man,
go down to a greater family. Oh your daddy, Jack
and your mama is still hitting it. Man.
Speaker 13 (18:04):
I know that, I know our good Lord is telling
Dad sat down.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Jack. We know you had something to do with this.
Good morning, Big Shows on the radio. John boyde everten
coming up, hang on a very special guest us coming
up in Man his first state of what we're gonna play.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
For back way.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (18:22):
Come and get your assortment of small bashed handcooked peanuts
from birt County Peanuts, a Southern tradition for over one
hundred years. Eating healthy includes you know, smart snacking, so
go nuts at snack time. The peanuts are heart healthy,
packed with protein and low en calories. Enter code JBB
at check out and get twenty five percent off plus
free shipping when you shop online at Bertie Countybirte Coountypeanuts
(18:45):
dot net or look for their link at the Big
Show dot com.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Well, I'm not sure why stop bybe whatever the reason,
we're always happy to have me in a studio. Please
welcome cuop it.
Speaker 11 (18:56):
You eatings mortals or will allow you to bask in
my cheruby goodness.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
That's all what brings you by today, Bunny.
Speaker 11 (19:04):
Buddy, buddy, Oh quaint, I guess I should be flattered
that you address me the God of Love as buddy.
I suddenly feel like putting on a pair of dungarees
and watching the Hono race and relieving myself off the
edge of the veranda whilst we exchange stories about how
(19:25):
to burn the flesh of an animal over glowing embers.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
Oo wah, oh wah.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
I'm not sure what you just said. I mean until
you got to the huah barm, but I assume you're
happy to be here.
Speaker 5 (19:39):
Sure? Why not?
Speaker 3 (19:39):
I got nothing else to do.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Because summer vacation business in the area, no running errands.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
You are a nosy one, aren't you.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Well, this is kind of an interview. I'm, you know,
gonna doing a job. This is your job. I guess
they don't have a dress code.
Speaker 14 (19:57):
Then do that?
Speaker 11 (19:58):
You look like the Larry the K action figure. The
truth is that just is it much for me to
do in the summer time?
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Wow? How can that be? Everybody's running around outside half dress.
That's a res and p for roll man.
Speaker 11 (20:11):
So I guess it might be a different story if
it wasn't one hundred bloody degrees outside. Heat and humidity
is not Love's friend, mate, I mean, look at my wings.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Look at them. Wow, they are kind of droopy. Yeah, yeah,
droopy is the word. That's what moist heat does, doesn't it.
And if it's doing this, then the majestic wings of
a diminutive but adorable god. Imagine what it does to
other things, like oh my.
Speaker 11 (20:37):
You really do need things spilled out, can't you. This
is why your honeymoon was such a disaster. Look for
an example. You're at the beach, everyone's all oiled up,
glistening e a. You find a girlier dreams. Hey, the
chemistry's perfect eight.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
The pheromones are driving you wild. Suddenly you find yourself alone.
And then and then hey, goober, work alone.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 11 (21:04):
And then, just about the time whoopy is imminent, they're saying,
sticking to everything and unless you want to lose a
layer of skin doing the hibbid egibiity, the mood is broken.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
In't it?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Been there, done that?
Speaker 11 (21:16):
If you say so, I mean, summer is absolutely the worst.
How are you going to be aroused by a bloke
with a massive sweatstain down a crack of his cargo shorts?
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Follow me?
Speaker 11 (21:26):
It's worse for women. For example, the receptionist mAbs Barbera
Philips Steve. Look at how she kicks those top three
buttons undone hey, exposing just enough declatage to stimulate the imagination.
But add an extra thirty degrees and she starts mopping
(21:48):
at Cleveland sweat with a roll of paper towel, and
the game is called on a kind of gross And
that's just the surface stepness. Look at Tater, any idea
what triple digit heat does to the under side of
those Gwinabano Grandees. It's like a steaming, putrid, decut petri dish.
No fan stater, but yuck, yuck. Indeed, this also exposes
(22:12):
you'll have your chance love. This also exposes the great
double standard wet t shirt contest good heat induced damp
and blouse bad.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
It's not just women an in it. Let's have a
gander at you, my bull.
Speaker 11 (22:27):
In temperate conditions, you are an amiable, impish, bucolic knucklehead
that everyone loves. Turn up the thermostat and John Boy
becomes John Oh Boy, a great dripping, sweaty swamp monster
like Bigfoot in a sauna. Let me tell you something
is an aside that hammertos sticking out of those crocs
(22:47):
aren't doing you any favors.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Yeah, see what you're talking about. That that's why I
keep the air conditioning doing high here. That's not air conditioning, mate,
It's like mister Freeze farted in here.
Speaker 11 (23:00):
It so cold my wings want to flysh south of
the win Usually don't see that many high beams in
broad daylight. Emphasis on broad.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Like, I said, that's why I keep barkingdition, know on it.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
I thought, well, mate, I'm gonna puddle on.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Well, where are you headed this time? Nude beach?
Speaker 3 (23:18):
You know, air out the old diaper.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Nude beach. I thought you said it was too hot
for that.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Oh, it's never too hot to look bait. Never.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
All right there, let's get on with our lives. Air
and place, John Boy Jeopardy. Let's review yesterday's question when
we found out that it was hard to imagine life
without them now, but way back in the eleventh century
when these tools are first introduced, here are immediately banned
by the Catholic Church, labeled as Blashemer's rude, simple, downright sacriligious.
The man stuck from nearly eight hundred years eight hundred
(23:51):
years what are forks? Forks? You got fingers? Ain't with
them religious. Today's John Boyd Jeopardy. According to the latest
US Census report, there are now about six point three
million of these in the United States, but they are
only about four thousand of them in China.
Speaker 8 (24:12):
What are hot buckets?
Speaker 1 (24:15):
What's oh God? What eight hundred? Big show? You told?
Free line? We played John Boyd Jeopardy. Next, Good Morning,
(24:47):
It's a big show on the radio. Rolled into your Wednesday,
July second Hume Day Delays featured driving the Big Show,
bit Box, hold the Claude, Carl Childers, the Independence Day movie, Keywords,
Carl Day, hit the Big Box, at the Big Show
dot Com, and right now, let's play dance Live across America.
(25:09):
It's John Boyd, Jepeny and now your hosts.
Speaker 16 (25:13):
He ran that the Census Bureau found an error where
they were counting two Asian names as one Caucasian. They
realized the mistake when two wongs don't make a right.
Speaker 5 (25:26):
He's not let's say hate.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
The Duke had a manning South Carolina. Good morning, Duke,
good morning, you said morning buddy, ah ma'am, you got
first shot at it. So the latest US Census report
there are now about six point three million of these
in the United States, but there are only about four
thousand of them in China. Oh maya, no them. Oh
(25:58):
you don't have a fan. Oh right, just take a
stab at it.
Speaker 12 (26:05):
Chinese.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Is a six point three million of Chinese in the
United States, but only about four thousand of them in China.
Don't judge him. Let's see. Yeah, right, that couldn't work.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
Jacking sounded right.
Speaker 5 (26:33):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
You buddy, you try again? All right? Man, the blond
might be your game. That's right.
Speaker 12 (26:47):
Why not beat me twice?
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Jackie? Get down the line again, baby. Let's see what
the lessons got going on. She's down in Moulton, Alabama.
Good morning, a list the mining.
Speaker 6 (27:02):
How you doing?
Speaker 1 (27:03):
He doing good? How are you today?
Speaker 13 (27:06):
Right?
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Nice? Well Celestia, you go for years, first time called
I get it?
Speaker 5 (27:14):
You go.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Welcome, big show family, Big show own air family. Uh
celessio if you're paying attention to just known to me.
Randy actually gave you the answer. Yeah, okay. So so
what is so? So there's six point three million of
these in the US and there are only about four
thousand of these in China, So, of course, do guess Chinese?
(27:39):
But so what what do you?
Speaker 3 (27:43):
What do you think, I think it's last name.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Last names. Well, let's consult. That's aforementioned survey, ran Daz, Yeah, lesson.
So so you see what you did?
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (28:05):
What what? What was your in now?
Speaker 16 (28:08):
He says, the Centsus Bureau found an arrow where two
Asian names are being counted as one Caucasia. Okay, and
realize their mistake when they realized two wongs don't make
a white.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Now that was worth it though. Okay, that endicular joke,
well we'll let it go slid right by Duke.
Speaker 14 (28:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Anyways, the last good work, baby, your bird tea County
Peanuts prize back. We're gonna get them down to you.
You enjoy you remember your time here on the Big Show.
Speaker 8 (28:39):
Thank you so much?
Speaker 1 (28:40):
You welcome baby. Why how many hours a job of
your news got us a time? Cabs on Mark July second?
What about that? Al right? There you did next?
Speaker 5 (29:01):
H m hm hm.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one exports.
Speaker 5 (29:44):
Yes, ma'am, is this the newspaper?
Speaker 8 (29:46):
Yes it is.
Speaker 5 (29:47):
I was wondering if y'all might be interested in a
big story.
Speaker 8 (29:50):
Absolutely, we're always are.
Speaker 5 (29:51):
What's the story it's about my daughter.
Speaker 8 (29:54):
Okay, well, what happened?
Speaker 5 (29:56):
Before I go any further, I want you to know
that we're gonna need some money for this.
Speaker 8 (30:01):
I'm sorry, sir, don't We don't pay for any story.
Speaker 5 (30:03):
I bet you would for this, and it.
Speaker 8 (30:05):
Well, it's it's not a policy. We just don't do that.
Speaker 5 (30:07):
Well, this here is a story that the whole country
or the whole world gonna wanna know about it. I
ain't kidding you.
Speaker 8 (30:13):
Well, we're very interested always in big stories, but like
I say, we just can't pay for a story.
Speaker 5 (30:18):
Well, all right, then, I guess I'll go ahead and
tell you, because after you puts it in your paper,
I bet people's be sending us money and all kinds
of other stuff.
Speaker 8 (30:26):
Okay, well, go ahead. What what's the story?
Speaker 5 (30:28):
My daughter just had a baby this week. It weighed
thirty two pounds.
Speaker 8 (30:34):
Okay, sh I'm sure she did.
Speaker 5 (30:35):
She did. I took it to my friend's grocery store
and weighed on the meat scale.
Speaker 8 (30:39):
All cause, I'm sorry, I don't mean it this, but
this is kind of ridigious.
Speaker 5 (30:44):
I ain't lying. She had it right here at the house,
and everybody here had unseen that that baby is so heavy,
and my daughter can't even hardly hold it up. She
don't weigh with eighty seven pounds or sel work.
Speaker 8 (30:54):
I know this is some kind of joke, isn't it.
Speaker 5 (30:56):
No, No, it ain't. We named it baby Ted Kennedy.
It's sort of face. He was old Ted Kennedy, kind
of ugly looking in the face, got a big, old
fat head, and was born with lots of hair on
his head.
Speaker 8 (31:06):
Ah, sir, I wish I had time for this, but
you know what, we're almost at our deadline for tomorrow
morning's edition and I really.
Speaker 5 (31:11):
Need to go. Okay, then I'll just call the TV
station back and give them the story. They can come
out here and take some pictures and show 'em on TV.
Y'all that's gonna be left out. I bet this here
winds up on Sea and n A Fox or one
of them shows. I can see it right now on
the front page of the Nasal in quiet too. I'm
Finisah called in cause I know they paid for stories
all the time.
Speaker 8 (31:31):
Well, why just a minute before you do that, tell
me what what's your uh births of baty?
Speaker 5 (31:35):
Now? My daughter took him with her to go to
the washing tears she just uh he's a big She
just put him in a wheel bear and take off
down the street with him a few minutes ago.
Speaker 8 (31:44):
Uh a will bear.
Speaker 5 (31:45):
Yeah, just the old wheel bar we had out here
in the front yard.
Speaker 8 (31:48):
Where's that washing trea located.
Speaker 5 (31:49):
Just about four blocks from here?
Speaker 8 (31:51):
I mean, what's the address?
Speaker 5 (31:53):
Uh? I ain't got no idea about that.
Speaker 8 (31:55):
Well, would you mind if I came to your house
to talk to your daughter when she gets back home?
Speaker 5 (31:59):
No, I don't you sure you can't pay us.
Speaker 8 (32:01):
Something we like? I said, I wish we could, but
we just can.
Speaker 5 (32:04):
Well be sure and bring your camera and I wants
my picture took with the baby and put in the paper.
You know, y'all could put proud grandfather in thirty two
pound baby off up undneath the paper. You know, if
we let y'all do it, Can you put out the
main things? Can y'all put our name and address and
phone of 'em in the store so that peoples can
get a hold of us.
Speaker 8 (32:22):
Well, you know what, I don't have to just check
with the editor about that and just get back with you.
Speaker 12 (32:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (32:26):
What what I'd really like to do is for you
to put our address in there and then we could
charge people to come back here and see the baby,
you know. That way we could make enough money to
feed it, cause it's gonna take some show, enough groceries
take care of this baby and reckon. Maybe we could
put it put the baby later on in uh. I
don't know nothing about all this, you know, but like
you think we might can put it in a circus
or a carnival or something like that.
Speaker 8 (32:47):
All right, sir, are you gonna give me your address?
Speaker 5 (32:49):
No, I'm gonna go and call somebody else and I'm
gonna try to get some money out of this dick.
You take care of now, by bout it?
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Yah, boy, sit here from nine to five. That's how
many hours? Ten eleven you nominator. Good morning, yell dumb right.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Morning.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
It's a big show on the radio. Wednesday, July, second
head toward for the July weekend, Taylor, have you covered
on Friday July and fourth right here?
Speaker 7 (33:47):
Man, that was my bottle rocket.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Right now? All right time, I bro won't call Marvin Webster?
Speaker 5 (33:59):
Yoll?
Speaker 1 (33:59):
What's up?
Speaker 10 (34:00):
How y'all doing? Okay, man, I've seen this story the
other day about one of them high tech toilets, you know,
the kind of makeover in Japan. Ones were all kind
of bells and whistles on it. This new model is
having some technical problem. It sells for like fifty five
hundred dollars. But this thing is loaded. It's got a
heated seat, it plays music, there's water jets, got a
(34:23):
hot air butt dryer, automatic flush. It even shoots air
freshener out when you get done. If Lexo's made a toilet,
this will be it. It's called the Status Satis Status,
as in he sat his ass down and the Kimo
did all the round. This toilet got so many features
(34:45):
on it, they made an app for it that runs
on the Android smartphone. And this is where the problem
comes in.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Says here.
Speaker 10 (34:53):
The Status gets its instructions from a wireless Bluetooth connection,
but the company recently discovered that the security pin number
for every model is set to zero zero zero zero,
and the number is hardwired into the system. I see
that's the problem because it means you you can't ever
(35:14):
change the password on your toilet, and I cannot believe
I just said change the password on your toilet.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
But it also means.
Speaker 10 (35:23):
Anybody that's got this smartphone app can take control of
your bowl, ladies and gentlemen. This is what people in
the technology business called a massive backdoor security hold. Some
computer expert says an attacker could use the app to
cause the toilet to repeatedly flush, raising the water usage
(35:46):
and therefore the cost to the toilet's owner. The personally,
I'd be more worried about this part. Attackers could also
cause the unit to unexpectedly open and close the lid,
or activate the water jets and a functions, causing discomfort
or distress to an unexpected user, as well as a
(36:06):
hilarious scene in next hilary to cable garments. So first
the nerds hacked in on your computer, and now they're
coming at you up through the toilet. See to me,
everything you buy don't need to have a brain in it.
How smart does a commode need to be anyway? I mean,
it's a pot with water in the bottom of it.
You pull the handle and what's in the bowl goes
(36:28):
down the hole. Don't need a damn computer to figure
that out. I might be downloading something, but it ain't
no email, it says here. The smartphone app can also
keep an automatic record of your trips to the toilet.
You know, in case you're health conscious or you're real
hard up for something to put on Facebook relationship status.
(36:50):
It's constipated, Hey, why don't we need a toilet that
plays music? Anyway? Are we that star for entertainment? You're
on the commode? Make it your own soundtrack, which brings
up a really weird question. Who picks out the playlist
for the smart toilet? Apparently this is an actual job. Now,
somebody gets paid to pick out what songs the toilet
(37:12):
is gonna play. Okay, let's see give me the soundtrack
from the Wiz Yellow Submarine, putting on from the Zach
Brown Band and uh oh, you dropped a bomb on me.
Then again, maybe they just hire somebody to write some
original music for the smart toilet. There's a good gig.
Can you imagine that dude trying to pick a girl
(37:34):
up in the club?
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Ooh, you're a musician. Have you done anything? I might
have heard?
Speaker 10 (37:39):
I don't know, baby ever take a dump at the
Marriotte in Tokyo, y'all think about it.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Good morning to make show us on the radio. Hang
over your local news, weather and sports.
Speaker 17 (37:52):
This is royal. That's just the king feet slaying of
the visials, Royal of the Mongol and aggravator of the
Ottoman Empire.
Speaker 18 (38:04):
All listening to my two royal jesterers, those gap toothed barbarians,
John Boy and Billiard Old Big Show, A rise, A
loyal of Beef, A.
Speaker 15 (38:17):
Rise Duke of Ellington, a rise, water of ten, essence
of mrd, look of Vagnisia.
Speaker 7 (38:45):
Goods.
Speaker 5 (38:48):
This you on in.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
It's a big show on the radio for your Wednesday morning.
You don't have to miss any of the Big Show
these days with that John Wremilly Late Risers podcast every
Monday through Friday. Well absolutely free. It's downloading when you
subscribe toorch with a free I Heart radio app. I
(39:22):
want to just do it, like visit the website sometimes
what you do if you go to the Big Show
dot com, you like click right on it and you
can get you right there and pick out which what
you want to go on to hear.
Speaker 10 (39:31):
Like that.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Week I'm talking back you all right, less than twenty
minutes away from Beat the Blonde looking hard of this March? Yeah,
what are you?
Speaker 16 (39:48):
Then?
Speaker 1 (39:48):
We've got a special Heart top ten lists coming up
in minutes. I'm off the frontage Road. You'll see why
those are someplace else. It's hot. There was a Rep.
Speaker 14 (40:00):
Bill Road.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
All right man, Big Show rolls on. Good morning, Big
Shows on the radio. Coming up, we played Beat the Blonde.
You can win a high quality signature series American flag
from the premiere flag experts at Condor Flags in Charlotte,
North Carolina, made in the USA using all weather nylon
with large and bordered stars individually sown stripes. If you
(40:24):
don't win one right here, get you one click on
the Condor Flags banner when you go to the Big
Show dot com. Happy fourth of July, Happy Independence Day,
Good morning. You got the Big Show on al rady,
have more chances for you to win coming up after
your news, weather and sports.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Good morning, Thiscious Connery, Sean Connery. And you might think
that I'm just another sophisticated yet rugged Scottish movie star,
and you'd be right.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
What's my secret?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
The truth is I can't stop my day without listening
to the Big Show with John Boy and Billy trush Me.
They're a lot funnier than Doctor Noan blofeld.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
Oh, I could doodle dude, Oh have a body. I'm
(01:12):
Bob Scott.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
I wondered where he's been to Welcome to the Big Show.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
I wanted to want to wander where you've been, my friend?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
So what do you say? You good looking around that?
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Fly running into you lunch idea in your head?
Speaker 3 (01:37):
What did you say if eat a hamburger?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
You took you? I don't know where it's see.
Speaker 6 (01:42):
I used to take moments like this to go how
old are you?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
But it was funny then. If I do it now,
it's just kind of sad for both of us. Thank
you for sharing your thoughts and bringing me down saying
in the morning, that's the way come on back now, yeah,
(02:07):
used to tuning you out. A lot of people are,
and that's unfortunate since we're on the radio. But I
guess we did all right, you know, over over our
forty some years together here on the air on the
Big Show. No it's not so yeah, just try. You
might have to try a little harder to enjoy us
(02:28):
while you can't, I know, yeh, nerves getting frizled.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
That truth.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Raby was right again.
Speaker 7 (02:44):
I wish someone would step on you.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Thank you all right? Say here, well, just get to
our three days in history and let's get our first
prize back out and play? All right, wake up if
you ain't big shows on a radio. Good morning, Big
shows on a radio. First prize bag a high quality
signature series American flag from the premiere flag experts at
(03:13):
Condor Flags in Charlotte, North Carolina, made in the USA,
using all weather nylon with large embroidered stars and individually
so own strikes and making custom flags, banners and polls
for over eighty years. Check out Condorflags dot com. I
look for the link at the Big Show dot com.
Here's our three dates in history. Were well got our categories?
(03:37):
Will you to win?
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Here?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
We Go. Nineteen eighty two, Larry Walters rose to sixteen
thousand feet over La using a long chair and forty
two helium balloons. I think we covered that. Oh pray,
what's up? What doup? Nineteen ninety one, Joey Butafuko had
(03:58):
sexual relations with the sixteen year old Amy Fisher the
Freeport Motel in New York. Amy Fisher will send us
to five to fifteen years in prison for shooting. But
if you close wife Mary Joe in May of nineteen
ninety two, y'all crazy.
Speaker 7 (04:15):
He got in trouble for statutory correct I mean they
did get him.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, all right, I wasn't paying attention there.
Speaker 8 (04:24):
Sorry, you moved on.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yeah, well, let's move on to ninety two and see
our dat and history is the one million Chevrolet Corvette
rolled off the assembly line nineteen ninety two.
Speaker 7 (04:36):
Have they made those electric?
Speaker 5 (04:37):
Now? No?
Speaker 9 (04:37):
Are the Corvette's electric?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
They just made the Mustang electric.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Though, Yeah, but they turned it into an suv. Damn
you for it. I will concentrate on some shiites when
we get to this category one eight hundred big shows.
You told free Line we play out birds next. Good morning,
(05:23):
It's a big show on the Radio Thursday Morning, June
Live third our feature track for the Big Show, Big Box,
Mayor Decimal Secret Annual Independent Dance Festival, The Dance Fest.
Any words at the bit box, at the Big Show
dot Com and.
Speaker 8 (05:39):
Right now.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Upburst. Let's play Upburst. It's the game that anyone can be.
Speaker 10 (05:49):
Shoon Boy and Billy give the prizes from the Big
Prize Beer.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Let's go, he contested number one.
Speaker 10 (05:59):
This should be a lot of fun when you're playing outs.
Speaker 11 (06:04):
Have them urry up and gust.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Time you love the best time you love.
Speaker 9 (06:08):
A big shots, That said Robert Darlington, South Carolina Shots.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Hello, Good morning, Robbert, Oh, good morning, hey, Boddy, welcome.
All right, let's get you through these three categories. We're
sending positive vibes your way to get you. This big
old flag from Condor Flags. All right, Boddy, oh sounds great, alright,
Not that old stoop out in La floating up in
(06:44):
the air in his chair. Give us three kinds of
chairs ready to go.
Speaker 12 (06:51):
A loan chair, armchair and a barber's chair.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Byam Hi Robert. Three names of motel ready go.
Speaker 12 (07:03):
A motel speaks super eight and Halliday nice.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
And for the wind, three cheves, ready go.
Speaker 12 (07:14):
Of Silverado Tahoe in Corvette.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
And there is Robert out of Darlington, home of the
lady in black, and just that girl on Pearl Street
High five, right, little Darlington human Robert. Congratulations, buddy, you
got the big old American flag from Condor Flags right
out of Charlotte here.
Speaker 12 (07:36):
Oh that sounds great. I appreciate everything soon.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
All right, buddy, Will you hang on.
Speaker 13 (07:47):
All right?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Bottom of the hour or top of your news on
the other side, always remembering Rayford with a rag, remembering
rape on the other side, Good morning, the big shows
(08:37):
on the radio. Roberties in a studio back in the
day is an expression often heard from those who have
no clue to how things were back in the day,
like when families had meals together.
Speaker 14 (08:51):
Rayford remember, And I talked to someone recently who remembers,
as I do, the day when meal time the time
and family sat down together and all engaged in conversation.
Usually the big family meal was the evening meal, which
we called supper until we got sophisticated and called it dinner.
(09:11):
We called the midday meal dinner like dinner time, and
sometimes that was a main meal with a nap afterward
for the adults, she said, over dinner, my father briefed
my mother on the ins and outs of the day
at the office, while my siblings and eyes zoned out
or piped up or fought over, while my older sister
always got the corner seat. We sat down as a
(09:33):
family to a good, healthy meal. But dinner was not
what you'd call child's sentry, which was fine with us
and definitely fine with them. And you better mind your manners.
My ten years old sister reminded me how she minded
my manners. Seemed to me she watched every bite I
took and ordered to sit up straight. There's no such
(09:55):
thing as a cafeteria at school. You either brought something
in a brown paper back or ran home for lunch.
Schools were usually nearby, no such thing as a school
bus unless you lived out in the country, and mothers
were usually at home. And the word stress hadn't been invented.
Speaker 13 (10:13):
Ah.
Speaker 14 (10:13):
Yes, times have changed, apparently.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Robert D.
Speaker 14 (10:17):
Rayford, John Boy and Billy Show.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Good morning, it's Big Shaw on the radio. Let's turn
it over to mister Rubarb. Thank you give me the beat. Hello,
boys and girls, this is mister Rubar, the headmaster of
Carpool University. For those of you that farted around in
class all year, Welcome to Carpool you summer school, Well,
(11:07):
we do what we can to keep you from turning
into a mouth breathing moron between now the beginning of
fall semester. Well, since the fourth of July is.
Speaker 6 (11:17):
Right around the corner, today's topic is a quick refresher
course in American history. Let me preach about it. July
fourth is Independence Day. A long time ago, America was
run by a country called England. But one day a
bunch of Americans got tired of that crap and fought
a war against England to win our freedom. Just think
(11:41):
if those brave early Americans hadn't decided to stand up
and fight, today would all still be speaking English.
Speaker 13 (11:49):
There were a.
Speaker 6 (11:49):
Lot of different in the alerty years of America. There
were yes, okay, I'm along with it. Black people had
to work really hard without getting paid. It was called slavery,
and it was a very bad thing. But President Abraham
Lincoln put an end to slavery. Now it's against the
law to make somebody work without getting paid, although a
(12:12):
part time shift at McDonald's comes pretty close. In the
middle of the twentieth century, America fought a big war
against the Germans and the Japanese who said they were
going to take over America. But after we won the war,
the only part of America the Germans and the Japanese
were able to take over was the car business. One
(12:34):
of the most important things in America is education. We
made sure everybody had a chance to go to school.
Some of the smartest people in the world have been Americans,
great writers, scientists, and lots of inventors. Americans invented stuff
like the light bulb and the telephone and the airplane.
(12:55):
Then somebody invented TV and America started getting stupider again. Today,
America is still the land of freedom, but we're not perfect.
There are still things we could do a lot better,
like getting along with people who are a different color
than us and helping everybody find a good job, and
(13:15):
making the NFL quit acting like it's our fault when
one of their football players HiT's a girl. But America
is the land of the free, where we can say
whatever we want until we say the wrong thing and
have to close our Twitter account, where we can get
on a TV show even if we don't have any talent,
and if we're not as successful as we want to be,
(13:37):
we can change our name to Caitlin and start all
over again.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yes, this is.
Speaker 6 (13:42):
America where the men are men and sometimes so are
the women. There's a lot more to the story of America.
But since this is summer school and I don't really
want to be here anymore than you do, let's knock.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
All For the rest of the day.
Speaker 6 (13:58):
You can learn a lot more about America thanks to
another great thing we invented YouTube. When you finish learning stuff,
you can also use it to watch cats play the
piano and fat guys get hitting the nuggets. Just two
more of the great things about this great country. And
that's it for carpool you summer school until next time.
(14:21):
This is mister Rhubarb saying, this is mister Rhubarb. Happy
Independence Day, God bless America and quit ruining my life.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Good morning, you got the big show on the radio.
More chances you to win coming up after your news,
weather and sports.
Speaker 15 (14:40):
Oh oh, I did oh, I didn't see you there.
This is Professor Moving Handy Day, head of eh oh
ahead of the big show Science and History division, and
you're listening to two boys who are distant to be history.
Don Boy and Beddy on the Big Show.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Yo.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
When I say that Will, I didn't mean for pie
and make it.
Speaker 15 (15:04):
I simply meant that they they Oh, what did I mean?
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Good morning? Us have been on the radio. It is
Wednesday morning, July second, Man, y'all, let me go. I
thought it was July third, earlier this morning, y'all, y'all
didn't kidd y'all, y'all goes be sharp, y'all A must
have my back roll with it. Let me roll? That
was what the heck? I don't show up tomorrow thinking
(16:05):
too like, boy, y'all have that.
Speaker 16 (16:09):
Yeah, but I'll get two nights of fireworks.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
When's the July second? We got Big Show kids kid's
birthday Cannon Curry. Now I heard y'all talk arguing about this.
He's seven or eight. This is Stephen's son, Cannon. I
hope he grows up to be a shooter. He got
(16:34):
the name for him, made hey.
Speaker 13 (16:36):
I told Taylor, I said, how old is he too?
She looked at me like I had four heads?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
How old you tell me? Seven?
Speaker 9 (16:44):
Seven?
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Above that he got too many kids?
Speaker 7 (16:46):
I was like, you're thinking of his newest son, Am
and he ain't even your youngest son.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
That's right. So how many kids? Says has Pecker from
California gotten packer? You couldn't give him a better name.
He's just like your friend and uh Burlington.
Speaker 13 (17:01):
He's on number four so he hasn't got your friend
beat yet.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
He's trying to wait one more. He's got one more
to go, man. I know his bop, your brother Dale.
He's just had a birthday last week. I think were
they together? I know they're golfing.
Speaker 13 (17:16):
They're in Ireland. He's Stephan Enseth playing golf in Island.
So don't you just hate Dale's Like?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
What is he doing? Yes? And you doing a damn
good job of it? Ali, he is you say? Will
you say? Step son's name?
Speaker 5 (17:31):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Kayus kaus Okay, I'm asking me. He's one, he thought
he was two. He turned one and he's he's beautiful.
Speaker 9 (17:42):
His children are all beautiful.
Speaker 13 (17:44):
They're doing hey and the oldest frie well true, the
oldest one. You'll like this Riley. She's a huge volleyball
player like her grandmother.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Son. Yeah, yeah, she's good. All right, Well, good stuff, man,
go down to a greater family. Oh your daddy, Jack
and your mama is still hitting it. Man.
Speaker 13 (18:04):
I know that, I know our good Lord is telling
Dad sat down.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Jack. We know you had something to do with this.
Good morning, Big Shows on the radio. John boyde everten
coming up, hang on a very special guest us coming
up in Man his first state of what we're gonna play.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
For back way.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (18:22):
Come and get your assortment of small bashed handcooked peanuts
from birt County Peanuts, a Southern tradition for over one
hundred years. Eating healthy includes you know, smart snacking, so
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at check out and get twenty five percent off plus
free shipping when you shop online at Bertie Countybirte Coountypeanuts
(18:45):
dot net or look for their link at the Big
Show dot com.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Well, I'm not sure why stop bybe whatever the reason,
we're always happy to have me in a studio. Please
welcome cuop it.
Speaker 11 (18:56):
You eatings mortals or will allow you to bask in
my cheruby goodness.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
That's all what brings you by today, Bunny.
Speaker 11 (19:04):
Buddy, buddy, Oh quaint, I guess I should be flattered
that you address me the God of Love as buddy.
I suddenly feel like putting on a pair of dungarees
and watching the Hono race and relieving myself off the
edge of the veranda whilst we exchange stories about how
(19:25):
to burn the flesh of an animal over glowing embers.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
Oo wah, oh wah.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
I'm not sure what you just said. I mean until
you got to the huah barm, but I assume you're
happy to be here.
Speaker 5 (19:39):
Sure? Why not?
Speaker 3 (19:39):
I got nothing else to do.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Because summer vacation business in the area, no running errands.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
You are a nosy one, aren't you.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Well, this is kind of an interview. I'm, you know,
gonna doing a job. This is your job. I guess
they don't have a dress code.
Speaker 14 (19:57):
Then do that?
Speaker 11 (19:58):
You look like the Larry the K action figure. The
truth is that just is it much for me to
do in the summer time?
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Wow? How can that be? Everybody's running around outside half dress.
That's a res and p for roll man.
Speaker 11 (20:11):
So I guess it might be a different story if
it wasn't one hundred bloody degrees outside. Heat and humidity
is not Love's friend, mate, I mean, look at my wings.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Look at them. Wow, they are kind of droopy. Yeah, yeah,
droopy is the word. That's what moist heat does, doesn't it.
And if it's doing this, then the majestic wings of
a diminutive but adorable god. Imagine what it does to
other things, like oh my.
Speaker 11 (20:37):
You really do need things spilled out, can't you. This
is why your honeymoon was such a disaster. Look for
an example. You're at the beach, everyone's all oiled up,
glistening e a. You find a girlier dreams. Hey, the
chemistry's perfect eight.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
The pheromones are driving you wild. Suddenly you find yourself alone.
And then and then hey, goober, work alone.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 11 (21:04):
And then, just about the time whoopy is imminent, they're saying,
sticking to everything and unless you want to lose a
layer of skin doing the hibbid egibiity, the mood is broken.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
In't it?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Been there, done that?
Speaker 11 (21:16):
If you say so, I mean, summer is absolutely the worst.
How are you going to be aroused by a bloke
with a massive sweatstain down a crack of his cargo shorts?
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Follow me?
Speaker 11 (21:26):
It's worse for women. For example, the receptionist mAbs Barbera
Philips Steve. Look at how she kicks those top three
buttons undone hey, exposing just enough declatage to stimulate the imagination.
But add an extra thirty degrees and she starts mopping
(21:48):
at Cleveland sweat with a roll of paper towel, and
the game is called on a kind of gross And
that's just the surface stepness. Look at Tater, any idea
what triple digit heat does to the under side of
those Gwinabano Grandees. It's like a steaming, putrid, decut petri dish.
No fan stater, but yuck, yuck. Indeed, this also exposes
(22:12):
you'll have your chance love. This also exposes the great
double standard wet t shirt contest good heat induced damp
and blouse bad.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
It's not just women an in it. Let's have a
gander at you, my bull.
Speaker 11 (22:27):
In temperate conditions, you are an amiable, impish, bucolic knucklehead
that everyone loves. Turn up the thermostat and John Boy
becomes John Oh Boy, a great dripping, sweaty swamp monster
like Bigfoot in a sauna. Let me tell you something
is an aside that hammertos sticking out of those crocs
(22:47):
aren't doing you any favors.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Yeah, see what you're talking about. That that's why I
keep the air conditioning doing high here. That's not air conditioning, mate,
It's like mister Freeze farted in here.
Speaker 11 (23:00):
It so cold my wings want to flysh south of
the win Usually don't see that many high beams in
broad daylight. Emphasis on broad.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Like, I said, that's why I keep barkingdition, know on it.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
I thought, well, mate, I'm gonna puddle on.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Well, where are you headed this time? Nude beach?
Speaker 3 (23:18):
You know, air out the old diaper.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Nude beach. I thought you said it was too hot
for that.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Oh, it's never too hot to look bait. Never.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
All right there, let's get on with our lives. Air
and place, John Boy Jeopardy. Let's review yesterday's question when
we found out that it was hard to imagine life
without them now, but way back in the eleventh century
when these tools are first introduced, here are immediately banned
by the Catholic Church, labeled as Blashemer's rude, simple, downright sacriligious.
The man stuck from nearly eight hundred years eight hundred
(23:51):
years what are forks? Forks? You got fingers? Ain't with
them religious. Today's John Boyd Jeopardy. According to the latest
US Census report, there are now about six point three
million of these in the United States, but they are
only about four thousand of them in China.
Speaker 8 (24:12):
What are hot buckets?
Speaker 1 (24:15):
What's oh God? What eight hundred? Big show? You told?
Free line? We played John Boyd Jeopardy. Next, Good Morning,
(24:47):
It's a big show on the radio. Rolled into your Wednesday,
July second Hume Day Delays featured driving the Big Show,
bit Box, hold the Claude, Carl Childers, the Independence Day movie, Keywords,
Carl Day, hit the Big Box, at the Big Show
dot Com, and right now, let's play dance Live across America.
(25:09):
It's John Boyd, Jepeny and now your hosts.
Speaker 16 (25:13):
He ran that the Census Bureau found an error where
they were counting two Asian names as one Caucasian. They
realized the mistake when two wongs don't make a right.
Speaker 5 (25:26):
He's not let's say hate.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
The Duke had a manning South Carolina. Good morning, Duke,
good morning, you said morning buddy, ah ma'am, you got
first shot at it. So the latest US Census report
there are now about six point three million of these
in the United States, but there are only about four
thousand of them in China. Oh maya, no them. Oh
(25:58):
you don't have a fan. Oh right, just take a
stab at it.
Speaker 12 (26:05):
Chinese.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Is a six point three million of Chinese in the
United States, but only about four thousand of them in China.
Don't judge him. Let's see. Yeah, right, that couldn't work.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
Jacking sounded right.
Speaker 5 (26:33):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
You buddy, you try again? All right? Man, the blond
might be your game. That's right.
Speaker 12 (26:47):
Why not beat me twice?
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Jackie? Get down the line again, baby. Let's see what
the lessons got going on. She's down in Moulton, Alabama.
Good morning, a list the mining.
Speaker 6 (27:02):
How you doing?
Speaker 1 (27:03):
He doing good? How are you today?
Speaker 13 (27:06):
Right?
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Nice? Well Celestia, you go for years, first time called
I get it?
Speaker 5 (27:14):
You go.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Welcome, big show family, Big show own air family. Uh
celessio if you're paying attention to just known to me.
Randy actually gave you the answer. Yeah, okay. So so
what is so? So there's six point three million of
these in the US and there are only about four
thousand of these in China, So, of course, do guess Chinese?
(27:39):
But so what what do you?
Speaker 3 (27:43):
What do you think, I think it's last name.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Last names. Well, let's consult. That's aforementioned survey, ran Daz, Yeah, lesson.
So so you see what you did?
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (28:05):
What what? What was your in now?
Speaker 16 (28:08):
He says, the Centsus Bureau found an arrow where two
Asian names are being counted as one Caucasia. Okay, and
realize their mistake when they realized two wongs don't make
a white.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Now that was worth it though. Okay, that endicular joke,
well we'll let it go slid right by Duke.
Speaker 14 (28:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Anyways, the last good work, baby, your bird tea County
Peanuts prize back. We're gonna get them down to you.
You enjoy you remember your time here on the Big Show.
Speaker 8 (28:39):
Thank you so much?
Speaker 1 (28:40):
You welcome baby. Why how many hours a job of
your news got us a time? Cabs on Mark July second?
What about that? Al right? There you did next?
Speaker 5 (29:01):
H m hm hm.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one exports.
Speaker 5 (29:44):
Yes, ma'am, is this the newspaper?
Speaker 8 (29:46):
Yes it is.
Speaker 5 (29:47):
I was wondering if y'all might be interested in a
big story.
Speaker 8 (29:50):
Absolutely, we're always are.
Speaker 5 (29:51):
What's the story it's about my daughter.
Speaker 8 (29:54):
Okay, well, what happened?
Speaker 5 (29:56):
Before I go any further, I want you to know
that we're gonna need some money for this.
Speaker 8 (30:01):
I'm sorry, sir, don't We don't pay for any story.
Speaker 5 (30:03):
I bet you would for this, and it.
Speaker 8 (30:05):
Well, it's it's not a policy. We just don't do that.
Speaker 5 (30:07):
Well, this here is a story that the whole country
or the whole world gonna wanna know about it. I
ain't kidding you.
Speaker 8 (30:13):
Well, we're very interested always in big stories, but like
I say, we just can't pay for a story.
Speaker 5 (30:18):
Well, all right, then, I guess I'll go ahead and
tell you, because after you puts it in your paper,
I bet people's be sending us money and all kinds
of other stuff.
Speaker 8 (30:26):
Okay, well, go ahead. What what's the story?
Speaker 5 (30:28):
My daughter just had a baby this week. It weighed
thirty two pounds.
Speaker 8 (30:34):
Okay, sh I'm sure she did.
Speaker 5 (30:35):
She did. I took it to my friend's grocery store
and weighed on the meat scale.
Speaker 8 (30:39):
All cause, I'm sorry, I don't mean it this, but
this is kind of ridigious.
Speaker 5 (30:44):
I ain't lying. She had it right here at the house,
and everybody here had unseen that that baby is so heavy,
and my daughter can't even hardly hold it up. She
don't weigh with eighty seven pounds or sel work.
Speaker 8 (30:54):
I know this is some kind of joke, isn't it.
Speaker 5 (30:56):
No, No, it ain't. We named it baby Ted Kennedy.
It's sort of face. He was old Ted Kennedy, kind
of ugly looking in the face, got a big, old
fat head, and was born with lots of hair on
his head.
Speaker 8 (31:06):
Ah, sir, I wish I had time for this, but
you know what, we're almost at our deadline for tomorrow
morning's edition and I really.
Speaker 5 (31:11):
Need to go. Okay, then I'll just call the TV
station back and give them the story. They can come
out here and take some pictures and show 'em on TV.
Y'all that's gonna be left out. I bet this here
winds up on Sea and n A Fox or one
of them shows. I can see it right now on
the front page of the Nasal in quiet too. I'm
Finisah called in cause I know they paid for stories
all the time.
Speaker 8 (31:31):
Well, why just a minute before you do that, tell
me what what's your uh births of baty?
Speaker 5 (31:35):
Now? My daughter took him with her to go to
the washing tears she just uh he's a big She
just put him in a wheel bear and take off
down the street with him a few minutes ago.
Speaker 8 (31:44):
Uh a will bear.
Speaker 5 (31:45):
Yeah, just the old wheel bar we had out here
in the front yard.
Speaker 8 (31:48):
Where's that washing trea located.
Speaker 5 (31:49):
Just about four blocks from here?
Speaker 8 (31:51):
I mean, what's the address?
Speaker 5 (31:53):
Uh? I ain't got no idea about that.
Speaker 8 (31:55):
Well, would you mind if I came to your house
to talk to your daughter when she gets back home?
Speaker 5 (31:59):
No, I don't you sure you can't pay us.
Speaker 8 (32:01):
Something we like? I said, I wish we could, but
we just can.
Speaker 5 (32:04):
Well be sure and bring your camera and I wants
my picture took with the baby and put in the paper.
You know, y'all could put proud grandfather in thirty two
pound baby off up undneath the paper. You know, if
we let y'all do it, Can you put out the
main things? Can y'all put our name and address and
phone of 'em in the store so that peoples can
get a hold of us.
Speaker 8 (32:22):
Well, you know what, I don't have to just check
with the editor about that and just get back with you.
Speaker 12 (32:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (32:26):
What what I'd really like to do is for you
to put our address in there and then we could
charge people to come back here and see the baby,
you know. That way we could make enough money to
feed it, cause it's gonna take some show, enough groceries
take care of this baby and reckon. Maybe we could
put it put the baby later on in uh. I
don't know nothing about all this, you know, but like
you think we might can put it in a circus
or a carnival or something like that.
Speaker 8 (32:47):
All right, sir, are you gonna give me your address?
Speaker 5 (32:49):
No, I'm gonna go and call somebody else and I'm
gonna try to get some money out of this dick.
You take care of now, by bout it?
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Yah, boy, sit here from nine to five. That's how
many hours? Ten eleven you nominator. Good morning, yell dumb right.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Morning.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
It's a big show on the radio. Wednesday, July, second
head toward for the July weekend, Taylor, have you covered
on Friday July and fourth right here?
Speaker 7 (33:47):
Man, that was my bottle rocket.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Right now? All right time, I bro won't call Marvin Webster?
Speaker 5 (33:59):
Yoll?
Speaker 1 (33:59):
What's up?
Speaker 10 (34:00):
How y'all doing? Okay, man, I've seen this story the
other day about one of them high tech toilets, you know,
the kind of makeover in Japan. Ones were all kind
of bells and whistles on it. This new model is
having some technical problem. It sells for like fifty five
hundred dollars. But this thing is loaded. It's got a
heated seat, it plays music, there's water jets, got a
(34:23):
hot air butt dryer, automatic flush. It even shoots air
freshener out when you get done. If Lexo's made a toilet,
this will be it. It's called the Status Satis Status,
as in he sat his ass down and the Kimo
did all the round. This toilet got so many features
(34:45):
on it, they made an app for it that runs
on the Android smartphone. And this is where the problem
comes in.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Says here.
Speaker 10 (34:53):
The Status gets its instructions from a wireless Bluetooth connection,
but the company recently discovered that the security pin number
for every model is set to zero zero zero zero,
and the number is hardwired into the system. I see
that's the problem because it means you you can't ever
(35:14):
change the password on your toilet, and I cannot believe
I just said change the password on your toilet.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
But it also means.
Speaker 10 (35:23):
Anybody that's got this smartphone app can take control of
your bowl, ladies and gentlemen. This is what people in
the technology business called a massive backdoor security hold. Some
computer expert says an attacker could use the app to
cause the toilet to repeatedly flush, raising the water usage
(35:46):
and therefore the cost to the toilet's owner. The personally,
I'd be more worried about this part. Attackers could also
cause the unit to unexpectedly open and close the lid,
or activate the water jets and a functions, causing discomfort
or distress to an unexpected user, as well as a
(36:06):
hilarious scene in next hilary to cable garments. So first
the nerds hacked in on your computer, and now they're
coming at you up through the toilet. See to me,
everything you buy don't need to have a brain in it.
How smart does a commode need to be anyway? I mean,
it's a pot with water in the bottom of it.
You pull the handle and what's in the bowl goes
(36:28):
down the hole. Don't need a damn computer to figure
that out. I might be downloading something, but it ain't
no email, it says here. The smartphone app can also
keep an automatic record of your trips to the toilet.
You know, in case you're health conscious or you're real
hard up for something to put on Facebook relationship status.
(36:50):
It's constipated, Hey, why don't we need a toilet that
plays music? Anyway? Are we that star for entertainment? You're
on the commode? Make it your own soundtrack, which brings
up a really weird question. Who picks out the playlist
for the smart toilet? Apparently this is an actual job. Now,
somebody gets paid to pick out what songs the toilet
(37:12):
is gonna play. Okay, let's see give me the soundtrack
from the Wiz Yellow Submarine, putting on from the Zach
Brown Band and uh oh, you dropped a bomb on me.
Then again, maybe they just hire somebody to write some
original music for the smart toilet. There's a good gig.
Can you imagine that dude trying to pick a girl
(37:34):
up in the club?
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Ooh, you're a musician. Have you done anything? I might
have heard?
Speaker 10 (37:39):
I don't know, baby ever take a dump at the
Marriotte in Tokyo, y'all think about it.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Good morning to make show us on the radio. Hang
over your local news, weather and sports.
Speaker 17 (37:52):
This is royal. That's just the king feet slaying of
the visials, Royal of the Mongol and aggravator of the
Ottoman Empire.
Speaker 18 (38:04):
All listening to my two royal jesterers, those gap toothed barbarians,
John Boy and Billiard Old Big Show, A rise, A
loyal of Beef, A.
Speaker 15 (38:17):
Rise Duke of Ellington, a rise, water of ten, essence
of mrd, look of Vagnisia.
Speaker 7 (38:45):
Goods.
Speaker 5 (38:48):
This you on in.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
It's a big show on the radio for your Wednesday morning.
You don't have to miss any of the Big Show
these days with that John Wremilly Late Risers podcast every
Monday through Friday. Well absolutely free. It's downloading when you
subscribe toorch with a free I Heart radio app. I
(39:22):
want to just do it, like visit the website sometimes
what you do if you go to the Big Show
dot com, you like click right on it and you
can get you right there and pick out which what
you want to go on to hear.
Speaker 10 (39:31):
Like that.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Week I'm talking back you all right, less than twenty
minutes away from Beat the Blonde looking hard of this March? Yeah,
what are you?
Speaker 16 (39:48):
Then?
Speaker 1 (39:48):
We've got a special Heart top ten lists coming up
in minutes. I'm off the frontage Road. You'll see why
those are someplace else. It's hot. There was a Rep.
Speaker 14 (40:00):
Bill Road.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
All right man, Big Show rolls on. Good morning, Big
Shows on the radio. Coming up, we played Beat the Blonde.
You can win a high quality signature series American flag
from the premiere flag experts at Condor Flags in Charlotte,
North Carolina, made in the USA using all weather nylon
with large and bordered stars individually sown stripes. If you
(40:24):
don't win one right here, get you one click on
the Condor Flags banner when you go to the Big
Show dot com. Happy fourth of July, Happy Independence Day,
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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