All Episodes

June 11, 2024 166 mins
The Alan Cox Show
Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Yeah, the Federal Communications Commission doesdetermine the following content to be emotionally harmful.
Funny. Things that you think isfunny aren't funny. Jimmy Cox all
the time. I do so meAlan Coxshow kicks, ash Man Welcome,
show me what's you? Yeah?I can see a lot of cocks on
TV. Allen Cox from me,Alan Conso, I don't know what it's

(00:23):
about you, but I can't think. I don't be a creek. So
let's take a cot. You'll justeight with anafety group. Okay, one
till three take it comdam put youone time ticket? What Allen? Come?
Here we go, He'll add,he'll be fine. H Allen Cox

(00:45):
Show on one hundred point seven doubleU m m as Hey, what's going
on? Everybody? Good afternoon,Hi, we're back live today. Welcome,

(01:07):
Welcome. My name is Alan Cox. Thanks for being here, much
appreciated. Say hi to Bill Squire. He's right over there. Hey,
creepy hugs everybody. Mary Santora isin midtown Manhattan. Very exciting coming off
the weekend. I don't know whateverybody did over the weekend. I spent

(01:30):
most of my weekend I Portage Lakesyeah, yeah, it was a lot
of fun. Boy. I'd neverbeen out there before a time down there.
It's so fun. The weather couldn'thave been better all weekend long,
so it was just fantastic. Avery very nice reception from the crowds,
which was great. You know,the further out I go, I never

(01:51):
know what I'm gonna get, buteverybody was great. It was a lot
of fun. So still got ahandful of them throughout the rest of the
month. We're doing these things withConA B And all of my appearances are
out in the Portage Lakes bars.So yeah, no, it was a
lot of fun. I mean,it's a hall to get out there,
but it was. It was coolhanging out with everybody and it was great.

(02:12):
So if you would like to joinus today live, you can do
that two one six five seven eightone double oh seven. If you want
to call live eight hundred and threefour eight one double oh seven, you
can send me a text at numbersthree, five, one nine two.
If you listen to us on iHeartRadio, you can leave messages for us there.
You'll leave money after hour's line too. I met a guy and his

(02:35):
girlfriend who and they're young and theygo, hey, we're friends with drunk
Sue. I'm really friends with drunkSue. Drunk Sue's out there. Boy,
you just can't pin her down.Unless she's having some kind of knee
surgery, then they probably have topin her down. But boy, other
than that, they were like,oh, we're friends with drunk Sue.
Okay, cool, Well tell her, I said hello, and next say

(02:58):
if I don't talked to her first, tell her? I said hello?
What was what was your respective weekends? Everybody was out doing stuff. I
did the around the corner thing onfrat. I'll miss around the corner.
Congratulations to the girl that won.Mary, Were you the first person to
call Bill and congratulate them upon theculmination of eving? I'm sorry, what
does he mean congratulating? He wasa judge. The reason that this woman

(03:20):
is trying, the reason that thiswoman is triumphant, is because of Bill.
Oh, he's just diminishing my accomplishments. I here, I am propping
up women based on who they are, not as what they look like as
a beauty, but as a personality. No, it was it was.
Uh, it happened all real fast, like that. They trotted all the
girls out in their NightWare, andthey tried them out in their bikinis,

(03:43):
and then it was over in likefifteen minutes minutes how many contestants eleven or
twelve? It was? They didtwelve girls in fifteen minutes. I mean,
I was kind of time traveling.I'll be honest. I don't know
if they have it took, butit was. It was fast. Did
you get up on some questions?Now I didn't even have mi oh,
I was just holding up a signthat's to the number. Oh oh,

(04:04):
I see it was. It waslike the Olympics. He had to hold
up a number. It was fun, though, It's still a great night.
Oh, I thought, I guess. I came and hung out with
us after that all shows. Ithought it was going to be a bit
more of a production than No.No, it got and then I had
too much fun and Saturday was justa wash. It was just nothing.

(04:26):
Yep. So that I was supposedto do a show in Madison that got
canceled. Yeah, so didn't youthe one glor was going to. Yeah,
I didn't get to see Gaylord,but I meant made sure he didn't
go out there. I was gonnasay, I hope you found out that
he was driving ninety minutes to seeher, right, Yeah, I made
sure that they were aware. Nowdo you think that the what is the
percentage of probability? Do you thinkthat they canceled it once they heard that

(04:49):
Gaylord was coming. It wasn't thatit was just summer. I'm just I'm
asking here. It was just harddoing comedy. And sometimes they scheduled they're
like, oh, yeah, we'llget a bunch of people out, and
then they don't get people out.So I was like, I'm not going
to go out there for you know, fourteen people. It's wow. Sorry,
fourteen people who showed up. Theygot notified that the show wasn't going

(05:13):
to happen. Showed up, likeyou pulled at George Lopez. No,
halfway through that half an hour inyou bail. So the show got canceled
or you canceled it. We alltalked about it, and we're like,
hey, this doesn't seem like ait's worth it for all of us to
do this. So it's like adiscussion between me and the producers in the

(05:34):
bar and stuff like that. Soyou said, hey, I don't want
to perform for fourteen people. Iasked if they wanted me to, and
you know, they're like, well, you think we can actually make more
money if we just don't do theshow. I was like, fine,
that's I'm not gonna, not gonnaMary. You know, this comedy in
the summer is brutal, terrible.Yeah. Yes, people want to be
outside, right, and so whenyou do outside shows that people tend to

(05:58):
come to those. But being ina bar, especially in Madison where it's
close to the lake, there's alot of people that want to go down
to the lake or they want tobe out, you know, you know,
enjoying the night. Sure, likeyou said, it was a very
beautiful night. Then Saturday, Friday, know, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday,
I open for Chris Porter at Hilaritiesand that was a fantastic show.
And he is just one of thebest comedians working Today's funny dude, He's

(06:23):
so funny and he just so hiswriting is so tight and so precise,
and I just I just love watchingthe guy work from Kansas City. Kansas
City, yeah, well outside ofKansas City, because one of his best
bits is him talking about trying whenhe worked at Best By trying to sell
computers to farmers in the nineties,and like, that's why those gateway boxes

(06:46):
covered in cows. I'm sixteen yearsold trying to explain to a farmer why
he needs a computer, and thenlike where he talks about and the moment
where they found out the monitor wasn'tincluded in the price. Oh that sold
separately, sir. Yeah, it'slike I've got the he Man figure.

(07:06):
But then I got to go outand buy Castle Grayscue. Yeah, it's
sold separate. That's I was thinking. That's it. It's exactly like that.
Mary, Can you follow along please? I'm sorry. That's perfect.
Computers to farmers, he Man,Castle Gray Skull, all right, it's
apples to apples. And then sinceand then since there was nothing going on
Monday, really, since you weregoing to Chicago, I went on out

(07:30):
and sings more karaoke and oh sentme some Yeah, good time. It
was a very fun weekend. TheTreehouse. Yeah, so my wife used
to bartend when we first moved here. I like the Treehouse. Tree House
is a great lived across the alleywe lived in Tremont. Were you out
to performing Maryland? Yeah, Idid a show Friday night. You were
in Michigan. Davison, Michigan waslike their They got like a it's a

(07:55):
small town. They have like afestival every year, and so it was
like a fair. And when Itell you, this show had no business
being good and it was incredible.You said this was their inaugural comedy festival.
No, they've been doing it forlike twelve years, their inaugural.
I thought that it was Mary Goes. It's my first time, so it
must be their first time. Ihad never heard of this before. And

(08:16):
they didn't, I mean nobody,They didn't say, hey, we've had
these people in the past or anythinglike that. But yeah, it was
like they've been doing this forever.But yeah, it was outside, but
it was like under this pavilion.There was like three hundred and fifty people
under this pavilion. Everyone stayed theentire show and they were an incredible audience,

(08:37):
Like so much fun. And thenI love small town com It's so
much fun. There's such a goodtime. And then, uh, Saturday,
and then I just went back home. So Saturday, took the kid
to the pool and then went tomy friend's house for a fire, and
then Sunday was just like family day. Me, Brian and his daughter.

(09:01):
Three of us hung out, spenda bunch of time together, just kind
of what do we do? Wewent, Oh, we went to the
Bedford Strawberry Festival. If anyone's everbeen to that, Uh, I haven't,
Ohio. Yes, it's very tiny. One stand there's strawberries may no
no, no, one stand withstrawberry desserts. Everything else is basically like

(09:22):
a craft fair because it's all likelocal people selling their stuff, and then
they have one tent that had anythingeven remotely strawberry related, and then everything
else was just like corn dogs andpizza like a regular affairs starf How did
we literally just looked up things todo this weekend? And there was the
the Cleveland famous Jungle Tarry. Ohyeah see yeah, Jungle Terry came out

(09:46):
to a thing my daughter was atyears ago. Jungle Terarry was there and
Blake, Brian's daughter wanted to seesome lizards and snakes and stuff, and
so we were like, screw it, We'll go out there, We'll see
Jungle Terarry and uh ung out forlike an hour or two. And then
yesterday Blake and I had a girl'sday and we got Brian all his Father's

(10:07):
Day gifts and we went to malland went all over the place. It
was great. It was a verymuch needed at home like reconnecting weekend.
Yeah yeah, Now is there anyprobability that this will kick off your summer
of strawberry festival tours? Well,like, will you be will you be
going to the Kirtland Strawberry Festival inKirkland. Well, no, I'm back

(10:28):
in New York City. I'm notgood. That's why I'm asking how dedicated
you are to that's dedicated. Ican't imagine there's a single strawberry festival in
the entire state of New York thatyou could go to. You'd have to
come back to Kirkland to be onehundred percent honest, severe lack of strawberries.
To be called a strawberry festival,you would think everything like if they
had an elephant year stand, youwould think they would maybe have strawberry topic.

(10:50):
Yeah, and none of that.They had one stand that had like
strawberry shortcake, strawberry ice cream,vanilla ice cream with strawberries on top.
Yeah, and I think that mighthave been it, to be honest with
you, So for it to becalled the strawberry festival. I thought was
very interesting as climate change. Baby, there aren't just aren't as many strawberries.

(11:11):
Yeah, them crops aren't turning overthe yield they used to. I
guess not. Yeah, but yeahit was. It was a good weekend,
so I can't complain. Well,I I didn't participate in any fruit
based activities because you're a Catholic again. What's that? What you went and
got saved? Because what you're aCatholic again? Catholic again? You ain't

(11:31):
got saved to churches? Oh becauseof church? No, no, no,
I did no, none of that. Now we're a couple of rosa
Heathen's there. My brother looks atme, he goes, I'm so uncomfortable
here. Hey listen, this isThird Commandment stuff. All right, this
is not us. We're here forour mom, not because we love church.
This well, i'll tell you whatthough. Monday morning Mass, I
had my appearance in Portage Lakes.On Sunday, left, drove the hour

(11:52):
home to like eat with my wifeand child, and then hit the road
and then Mass was yesterday morning.This priest boy the weekday morning Mass.
I forgot how quickly they can getthrough that that was fantastic. We're out
in twenty minutes. I was like, well, do something to eat?
Did you stick around? Well,my mom and I went out to the
cemetery and then we yeah, weall met up at my brother's house and

(12:13):
we all kind of had some lunchand shot the shrimp and yeah, it
was good. It was fun.And then we'll be back for my sister's
wedding in August, so I'll seeeverybody a couple times this summer. But
that's good. Yeah it was good. But no, I was not.
I was not saved. Oh,by your parlance there, I was really
hoping that you'd come back a changeman. You'd be like, you know
what, guys, I went tochurch. You were hoping I would come
back a change man. I caughtthe spirit and life is different now,

(12:35):
well, life would definitely be differentfor everyone involved if I had come back
saved. Did you miss him becausewe missed you, Well, not Jerry
from Willoughby, but the rest ofyou. Show one seven, double mma,
let me take you dummod nohing wasthis on a loop when you were

(13:11):
at the Bedford Strawberry Festival. No, it was. It was a pretty
terrible live band. I mean like, well, that's a that's a big
gig for them. Why do yougot to blow them up? It was
a weird name, know what theirname was. But we were sitting there

(13:31):
and I was like, this mightbe some of the worst live met together.
Well, listen, this is wild. It's not easy to get that
coveted Bedford Strawberry Festival spot. Isee that they really went in on it.
I mean it is. It wasfine. It was it's background noise.
It's not like you know, theyweren't drawn a crowd. There were
definitely some drunk some drunk fans drunkon strawberry wine. Probably there was no

(13:56):
strawberry wine, of course, interestingenough had a beer tint. Uh Jay
texted me and said, please tellMary that the real strawberry festival is in
my hometown of Buckhannon, West Virginia. Oh I bet that's what put them
on the map. Right, howdare you should go to that? I
should tod eight hour drive from astory you coward in the car and go

(14:18):
not that far? All right?Well, the one out here in Kirtland
with the Kowanas, that's uh ohperfect, that's Thursday, oh great,
two days from now. Just gotback this morning at seventy eight am.
Yeah, yeah, well okay.And then Mary was worried that I was
going to get saved, because Isaid, worried. We're hoping, by

(14:39):
the way, and I take youknow, by the way. When people
say that, you know that impliesI need to be saved, or that
anybody needs to be saved. No, it doesn't, Yes it does.
It does. Not saved. You'vebeen saved from what? That's just no,
that's just the terminology. Well,but words mean something, words means
no. That's why that's what they'resaying. Yes, your safe soul,

(15:01):
that's right. I don't need tobe saved. Shame perfect. You sound
exactly like whoever sang that song.Yes, all I'm saying is crazy things
happen in church. You know,you go in there, you hear something
that you're like, ooh, youknow, it like punches you in the
gut and it resonates and you're like, oh different, man, I gotta

(15:22):
live different. No, there's notone single thing I'm going to learn in
there that I didn't already know.Maybe twelve years of Catholic school, going
to my mom taking us to morningmass, daily kindergarten through eighth grade.
I went to Mass every every day, six days a week. You're not
eleven anymore, so well that's whyI'm not Catholic. But when you hear

(15:45):
it through fifty two year old earswith different life experiences, that maybe you
process it a little different. AndI you know what, man, you
didn't And that's cool. It's greatyou went. You had some time with
your family. Oh that's what itwas for. Everything's great. Nope,
when I sit there and talking,this is what I hear. Yeah,
might as well be that, andit's fine, you know whatever. It

(16:07):
gives comfort to my mother, andthat's the most important thing, right And
she and I went out to thecemetery for a bit after that, and
you know, my dad is isburied a couple of rows away from my
mom's parents, so I went overto see my grandparents. You talked on
yeah a little bit, sure,yeah, yeah, Like did you like
give your book on some flowers andtime, like you each had a little

(16:29):
time to yourself or you just kindof share the memory right there. No,
And it's not a lot of youknow, it's been two years,
which is not a long time,and so most of it is me kind
of talking my mom off the ledgebecause she somehow got it in her head
that she's supposed to be farther alongthan she is or something. I don't
know. And I go, there'sa timeline on this. I'm like,
dad died two years ago, youknow, and they were together, what
sixty or fifty years? They weremarried for fifty years. I'm like,

(16:52):
you know, grandma, uh,because my grandfather died when my mom was
twenty nine, so she was young. And I say, girls, and
I have a good friend and whosedad just passed away and she's young.
I said, girls never get enoughtime with their fathers, no matter how
long they live. No matter howlong your dad lives. If you're a
girl and you've got a good relationshipwith your dad, they never live long

(17:15):
enough. So I'm like, you'renot on some timeline where you've got to
be. I don't know, Isaid, I don't know what you're thinking.
She's got her chihuahua. You know, she's she's not in the house,
and thank God for that stupid dog. It's otherwise it would be my
mom alone in the house, andyou know, and she she's fully aware
of them. And again my siblingsare around, and so it's does she
take it on walks and stuff?Like is she oh yeah, yeah,

(17:37):
oh yeah, that's great as hegets her, you know, out of
the house every day and ye.But before my mom got to my brother's
house, it was just me andmy siblings sitting around, and I was
talking to my sister about how momdoesn't I always have to text my mom?
I go, she never text me, so I have my sister's like,
gee, what's that? Like,I got to get on that program

(17:57):
because they're all there, so youneed something. She hits them up,
right. I'm I'm a couple ofstates away, so I always have to
hit my mom up. She won'thit me up out of the blue.
But no, it's fine. There'sa lot of driving. But I was
I'm obviously glad I went. Iwasn't going to miss it. So when
when you go home like that,do you feel you know your mom's getting
older right and everything like that,do you feel like a want or a

(18:18):
poll to be back there? Youknow, like, oh, I would
love to get that much. Yeah. That's why I was like, if
that coming home makes you feel likedamn, I either got to get out
here more or you know, youwere saying there's never enough time. Well,
I always feel like weekends where youhave some kind of a family,
not you the royal you, whereit's a family event revolving around to death.

(18:40):
I always end up feeling like,you know what, we should all
move to the same house. Everybodyshould. No, nothing like that.
No, no, I've been goneso long. But it's like, you
know, but again, when Iwhen I got hired and at a radio
station at home and moved back inO six, that was the end of
the the That was the end ofthe only plan I had ever had when
I started radio, because you know, you're to be working in these little

(19:00):
towns and hopefully moving your way up. The only plan I ever had was
get back home, get on theair, back home. I had no
plan after that. I never planon leaving. Well, fate took a
different turn and so it didn't workout that way, and so you got
to go somewhere else. But yeah, no, every time I'm around my
family, I'm like, yeah,this is great. It's never a bad

(19:21):
time. It's great. But Ialways I'm always kind of the outsider too.
But that's my point is because I'mnot looked in on everything. Yeah,
well no, I yes, thatwould be great. Ideally, that
would be great. Yeah, butyou know, so it goes I'm not
working there, I'm working here,So yeah, we get that. Man.
We we're getting together for Fourth ofJuly at my brother's house down near

(19:42):
Columbus. It's a city called Lancaster, and it's a little hillbilly town,
but they blow out I think theirentire parks and reck budget on Fourth of
July every year because they have aninsane fireworks display and a crazy parade.
I'm like, this has to beall of the money that the city's ever
made. But we get together everyyear down there, and I'm looking forward

(20:03):
to it this year, and I'mlike, and every single year does feel
like damn, you know what Imean, Like where you just get that
kind of I don't know how todescribe it other than a feeling of like
we're getting older. You know,my brothers are in their forties now,
my mom's in your late sixties,where it's like we should all just we
should all just move to the samething. Well, but there's but you
also it's also important to recognize thatthere's a novelty in that too, Yeah,

(20:26):
that it won't. It's when you'rearound them all the time where you
go, oh, you know,yeah, give it a few more days
and be like, oh no,no, no, no, why I
gotta get the hell out of here. But also, you know, it's
also a matter of for me,the hard part will be staying connected to
my siblings after my mom dies,because you know, your parents are kind

(20:48):
of the connective tissue. When youhave siblings, you're like, oh,
you got to do this for mom. You got to do when it's just
the siblings, because everybody's got theirown lives. You know, if you
have a good relationship with your parents, going to your parents' house, whether
it's one of them or both ofthem, that's like a central location,
right. But when the parents aregone, then you're you have to make

(21:11):
a concerted effort to stay in touchor connected to your siblings the other family
members because everybody's off doing their ownthing. Like I feel like it was
opposite for my family, Like nobodyreally I mean we'd see each other at
Christmas or things the other whenever everybodycame up. We'd see each other maybe
once a year, but nobody talkedbetween that We didn't have like a sibling
group chat. Really. I meanwe did, but we weren't like active

(21:33):
in it, and everybody was doingtheir own thing. And then after my
dad died, I feel like inthe last three years it's been way more
active between me and my siblings,like trying to get because you know,
my one brother lives in Kentucky andmy sister's up near you know, basically
Toledo, and then I'm in NewYork now and like so it's it takes
more of an effort, but peopleare making more of an effort. My

(21:55):
family. It feels like it's christbefore. It's almost like whatever, dude,
I'll see a Christmas will be deal. And now it's like, oh
damn. Sometimes there's not Christmases foreverybody, you know what I mean.
Some people don't go to the Christmasanymore. Oh, you better figure this
out now. Now I have peachesfrom a peach truck that are ripe,
and so I decided to try BLPfor lunch today and it was damn good.

(22:18):
Of course it's damn good. SoI'm trying to tell you get yourself
a BLP. Remember the BLP.Yeah, the bacon lettice and peach.
You swap out that tomato for apeach, and man, you want to
talk about it. You want totalk about being saved. You want to
talk about being saved from boring sandwiches. There it is, shout out hallelujah
with a bite, shout out halleluYeah. There was somebody. You know,

(22:41):
people who are post like click baityquestions all the time on social media,
pop culture ones, it's not politicalor anything like that, And one
of them was what was the firstmovie that made you cry? And it
was ET for Me, which cameout forty two years ago today, the
ET movie. Boy, my parentstook us because they had been running the

(23:03):
commercials for ET non stop. AndI how old was I? I was
about to turn eleven, and uh, we wanted to go see ET and
every kid who saw that movie becausethey they made it happen. Boy,
they made sure everybody was crying inthat movie, the like grown ups for

(23:29):
a cry, you know, becausethere's a bit of a bait and switch
with that movie. And uh,there was some kind of documentary or something
about how they were fully planning onmaking an ET sequel and they never got
a round to it, or theywanted. I forget what it was,
but the etc. And I endedup with like an ET doll at Christmas.
And you know, but that moviewas just massive. It only cost

(23:52):
them ten million dollars to make ET, which in nineteen eighty two was a
lot of It was a lot ofmoney. But it made eight hundred million
dollars, which is crazy. Andso Eat is a movie I never have
been into seen it. I Iit's one that like, it's a gen
X kid movie. It is,and but I like was in that age
range. I just was like,it never uh never connected with me.

(24:18):
Yeah, I'm like, I didn'tdislike it or anything like it was just
another movie to me, where thereare some people that are like, this
is such a great movie, andI just like, well, I knew
it. I figured out pretty earlyon that in most kids movies they don't
kill the main character. So whenhe was sick and like the Disney said,

(24:38):
let me hold yeah, right,but the parents, now he'll kill
your parents. But then that becameformulaic too. Like I can't even think
of the first movie that made mecry. It was not till I was
an adult. Lion King did notmake me cry. Sobbing and you were
like in kindergarten man, right,I was like seven. I was like

(24:59):
prime for Lion King to make mecry. Well, that's what I'm saying.
A movie didn't make me cry untilI was almost eleven years old.
I kind of knew that that wascoming, like in the trailers, like
you kind of knew that Mufassa wasgonna die. But that doesn't matter.
It's like the whole emotional build upof it and him and his dad having
the moments that they have. Youdon't know how I didn't. Again,

(25:22):
I just was like, these songsare pretty fun, Like it wasn't.
It wasn't that that movie was notthat emotional to me, And it was
probably just repress things that I wasgoing through with my own family where I'm
like, my dad dies. Sothat was like nineteen ninety five. Yeah,
the Lion King come out ninety three. This stuff didn't start when I

(25:44):
was twenty. I've been going throughmy whole life. No I'm saying you
wanted your dad to die when youwere nine. No, I didn't.
I don't really want my dad todie. I just was like it was
more the predictability of ninety twelve yearsold. But it was just like and
I and I was like, well, also, what's the life span of

(26:06):
a lion? Anyway? Like Iwas twelve years old, you were like,
well, I could only live thebig block down anyway, no animated.
I saw that movie in the theaterand I was not emotional when like
I was like, he died,but I wasn't Like I wasn't bawling or
crying. It's because it's a cartoontoo, when they're drawing that drawing died

(26:30):
dude, because you guys, asan adult, I was way more emotional
going to see Like I remember losingmy mind and inside out when uh bing
Bong had to go. And Istill haven't seen that when the second one
comes out on Friday. Yeah whensee, it wasn't Hu Fassa dying that
made me cry. It was whenSimba came up to him and was trying

(26:52):
to wake him up, and he'slike pulling on his ear and he like
gets underneath. I'm close. I'mcloser to now. And also I think
it was one of those things whereI cried a lot until I was about
ten years old. Like my mom, like they they hated me crying so
like I really really pushed back anyfeelings that I had when I was like,

(27:14):
I can't cry. You're not supposedto cry. You're a boy.
No, hes don't cry that kindof thing. Hey, Robert Smith said
it when he got in underneath Mufass'spall and he's like somebody anybody, Yeah,
like I'm worried on the brig itseers now that I was. Then,
Oh wait, so you were soyou you were cut from boys don't
cry cloth. I thought maybe itwas this. They didn't know a lot

(27:37):
of parents didn't know how to handlea kid that was crying. If I
was, If I was crying,like my mom, she taught me.
She taught me techniques like that theyuse for torture to keep myself from crying.
Bite the inside of your mouth,yeah, stuff like that, like
pinch your elbowskin and twist it soyou're focused on that pain. And then

(28:00):
you were emotional, you know,the emotions that are welling up and you
will go away like that was thepoint of that. So I didn't get
bullied for crying. Oh bully,Okay, So she was worried about you
getting bullied, right, Well,that's different. That's the thing that your
parents going, you know well,and it was part of the bullying was
going for my dad too, Soyeah, your mom was giving you techniques

(28:21):
on your dad. Wow, seeare My dad was very anti crying,
but I think just because it aggravatedhim, like because he had five kids
and we were poor and we didn'thave money. And the phrase, I
mean, two very very cliche phrasesmy dad always said were if you don't
stop crying, I'm gonna give yousomething to cry about. He would,
I mean, their belt came veryswiftly after that, and then the other

(28:45):
one. He would always say,crying doesn't solve anything. Where it's like,
if crying solved my problems, I'dcry every day. I have more
problems than you'll ever have. Yousee me crying, like so he would
minimize whatever our problems were and makeus feel guilty about crying about them.
Well, he was probably frustrated too, because you guys didn't have any money
because of him. Well yeah,I'm sure, but I didn't know that

(29:06):
when I was a legon. No, I understand it, but he did.
Is when I wasn't allowed, right, you know what I mean,
it's not allowed. I like Icried a lot as a little kid,
and then like through my parents' divorce, and then when I moved in with
my dad, I pretty much hewas every day with that crime doesn't solve
anything, Crying doesn't solve anything.And then I didn't cry really again until
I was in like my twenties.There's probably sixteen to like twenty two where

(29:30):
there was not a lot of crimeand a lot of those parents. I
mean, some parents have their ownulterior motives. Some parents they're just doing
the best they can. But whenthat's the route you go, you're just
kicking that can down the road exactly. Yeah, they're like, hey,
the parents are like, I needthis to be down there. So it's
until it's not my problem anymore,until you're out in the world, and

(29:51):
then you can deal with it.I remember in college, spend the half
of your life biting the inside yourmouth. My dad and I would get
in fights and I'd cry, andhe would tell me to like another phrase
you would use all the time,I'll talk to you when you can act
like an adult. Adults don't cry, and when you're ready to have an
adult conversation, we can have anadult conversation and I hate it when he
would say that to me because I'mlike, hey, ass, you're the

(30:15):
one making me cry. Like nowyou're gonna tell me I'm not an adult
because of the mean things you're sayingto me. Wow. Yeah, he
was like very against crying. Mydad would say, crap in one hand
and wish in the other, andsee what you get more of clap them
together. Yeah. Well, becausemy like, my dad was a conservative
guy in military and all that,but we were not like boys don't cry

(30:36):
house, So I didn't get anyof that. But and I'm surprised in
retrospect because that would be right uphis alley. But we never got that.
But you were allowed to have emotions. Yeah, sure, even as
a Catholic. Yeah wow. Imean when you grow up Catholic, you're
you're you're constantly told you're not worth, You're not worthy of anything. Right,
You're lucky to be alive. It'sonly by the grace of God.

(30:57):
You're not worthy. Oh thanks,thank you so much for letting me walk
around. And you know, so, I think my parents were because my
dad wasn't Catholic. He converted lateron for my mom. But that was
like when I was in college.So my dad was very much neutral on
that whole thing, and he waskind of like, all right, well,
if you'll let something out, letit out, but then get back
to work. That was kind ofhis thing, you know, if you

(31:18):
got to blow it out, blowit out, but then get back to
what you were doing before. Ijust couldn't even communicate anything with my dad,
like just like there was no momentwhere I'd be like, hey,
Dad, this is a thing Ilike and I want to do it with
you. It was always just like, just get through the day and then
just you know, don't make himmad. Yeah, don't make him mad.
That was that was the job.Don't make that mad. Yeah,
that's pretty old school. And alsolike and then it seemed like the only

(31:41):
thing he ever want us to dowas chores. So right, you'd also
trying to avoid him because he's neverlike, hey, let's go ahead on,
He's like, hey, do workanyway? Et forty two years ago
today, the first movie that mademe cry, the Vulgi never been like,
well, my dad drop it reallydid. Welcome Back Local DJ and

(32:05):
All Around Female Orgasm Denier Alan Cox. This is the Alan Cox Show.
One point seven w M m sout cocaine. You're now around by g

(32:55):
cocaine. I was wondering what happenedso the people in charge of running coke
for the cartels when these massive stashesof coke wash up in the Gulf Coast
states, right, it's constantly washingup in Florida. Louisiana gets some four

(33:20):
hundred and fifty thousand dollars worth ofcocaine washed ashore in Alabama a few days
ago. And of course with thatmuch, you know, you figure if
it was one packet, somebody mightgrab it and maybe stash it. I
don't know. Maybe they're people aretoo scared to do something like that.
But the four hundred and fifty grandwashes up. The Mobile County Sheriff's office

(33:45):
said fifty five pounds of coke wrappedin twenty five individual bricks washed up on
a beach. They all had thepercent symbol on them to designate them in
some capacity based on who they wereto go to or where they came from,
or I don't know. Scuba diversdivers off Key Cuba divers Scuba divers

(34:07):
Cuba debb going to get the caroff of Key West found the same amount
of coke sealed in bricks about onehundred feet underwater. Those were all turned
over to the Border Patrol. Andso, yeah, people are constantly walking
the beach in Florida or whatever,you know, and uh finding cocaine washing

(34:30):
up, and obviously that gets confiscated. So I always wonder what happens then
to the people who were responsible forrunning that into the states or or how
that plays out. I don't know. Coffin scate it, you know,
it took it all. I alwaysthought it was they were told to do
that, told to do what,like to dump it, like That's how

(34:52):
I thought it was. Oh,like the boats are almost going to get
out there. Yeah, yeah,that they like got they got orders from
higher ups where they're like, screwit, just get I guess they'd have
to, wouldn't they. Yeah,yeah, they can't do that on their
own. But now they have likedrug subs and stuff. Yeah, well
that's what I mean. Yeah,I guess you're right, it would have
to be that. But again,you know, this stuff works its way
into the system. I mean,anybody who thinks that every single bit of

(35:17):
confiscated narcotics goes into the evidence locker, you're ir saying you're destroyed. Yeah,
you are crazy. So even ifa four hundred and fifty thousand dollars
washes up one of those bricks,isn't making it into evidence and then it
just you know, works its wayinto somewhere else. But well, that's

(35:40):
when you got to switch over fromthis song to those eighties songs that we're
listening to last week. When youfind four hundred and fifty thousand dollars worth
of cocaine but it was actually fivehundred thousand dollars, and you have fifty
thousand dollars brick in your the trunkof your car and you're driving into the
night, into the night. Igonna do with all this cocaine. Seen

(36:16):
people are heard of this as hittingtheir Kenny G spud. Yeah, I
get it. That is some sweatysax boy. Oh yeah, sun City
eighties there on Instagram. That's great. I was listening to some of that

(36:39):
on my way to Chicago on Sundayevening because I'm going west. Sun's going
down right sunset like quarter to nineor whatever. I mean. You might
recall last year when they found thattiger at the Cincinnati Zoo that had cocaine

(37:00):
in its system, and everybody wasmaking the cocaine bear joke because that had
just come out. But there wasa I think maybe they had turned it
over to the zoo, but somebodyobviously had this in their house and it
was a big wild cat, andthis whoever had kept it as a pet

(37:21):
or whatever, and it had cocainein its system. Because obviously a person
with a giant leopard, they're notdoing good thing. They're not making good
decisions otherwise, So they had Everybodywas making jokes down there in Cincinnati that
they had a cocaine cat. Andthen it got turned over to the zoo
and taken care of past that,but finds its way into the national bloodstream.

(37:44):
At speaking speaking of it it athome, Mary, you would have
loved every ten feet when it's notwhen you're driving in Chicago, when it's
not Brian Urlocker hair plug billboards.Uh, it's billboards for a festival called
Country Thunder, Yeah, which isin somewheres. It's right over the border

(38:08):
in Wisconsin, and there were alot of Country Thunder billboards and what it's
as you might suspect, it's alot of country acts. And then Nickelback,
like they're the headliner that great weekend. That's what I'm saying. So
I see the billboard and I go, I don't know who those other people

(38:30):
are, but I know who peoplego, Well, aren't Nickelback Canadian?
That's close enough to country music forUS. Country Thunder, Eric church Landy
Wilson, Bailey, Zimmerman, elKing, big names. Maybe el King
getting kicked off of the stage isa genetic. Maybe he's Rob Schneider's daughter,

(38:54):
right, Yeah, but she getsdrunken and it kicks off stage.
He just gets kicked off stage forpeople not laughing or booing or something like
that. Yeah, Country Thunder inwhere is it Twin Elks, Wisconsin or
Twin Peaks or something Twin Lakes,Wisconsin, which is like ninety minutes north
of Chicago, but it's like justover the border. No. Who Co

(39:15):
Wetzel is Co Wetzel Big? He'sgot big font Yeah. Never, he's
the heir to the Wetzels, Pretzelsfortune problem, Jackson Dean, the Bellamy
Brothers. I mean, like,let your love flow those guys, remember
the Bellamy Brothers. Are they doingcountry music? Now? I don't recognize

(39:37):
any of the like Dy House orKit Mornell King, I know anything after
al King one two. There's likenine to ten people I've never heard of.
These guys are doing the country thunder. These guy's going to be in
their seventies by now. Is thiskind of like you know this song it

(40:00):
all? Anybody remember the song letYour Love Flow was in commercials and movies,
a massive hit for these guys.And they were actual brothers. They
weren't like the Beach Brothers where theywere all named Beach Well, they called
not the Beach brother boy. Idon't know. It's Tuesday. I'm all
thrown off. I've gotten like fourhours of sleep in the last two days.

(40:20):
I don't know the Beach Brothers.Oh, these guys are great.
I don't know the song. Ohyou never heard this? God, this
song is like number one for ayear and a half, but I don't
remember it. Yeah, wow,yeah, wow. The Bellamy Brothers doing
country Thunder. The Florida lineup isreally good. Oh, they're doing now.

(40:44):
So there's a traveling thing. Abunch of them there. Oh.
Okay Arizona, Saskatchewan, Wisconsin,Alberta, Bristol, Florida, okay A
bunch. Yeah. Well, anyway, I only noticed it because there were
massive billboards for it all a rounChicago, because it's not that far right.
You'll drive ninety minutes if you wantto see those people. But Nickelback

(41:04):
jumped out at me, part ofcountry Thunder there if you listen to it.
Shannanoah Shannon Shananan is that her name? Shannon Doah shananan Doah? Isn't
that like I thought they did?Like it's an old man band I thought
they did, like like TV jingles. I have no clue who that is

(41:28):
Sananandah. I might not be sayingthat right, well, Shannondo like Shannandoa
National Park. S h e na n is Shananan No, that's shan
Shannon s h a n e nNo, s h e n a n
s h n a n Shanan ShananShannandoah d o a h. Yeah.

(41:49):
It was a place in Texas too, All right, Well, how do
you associate them with jingles? That'sno, Like I'm looking at this and
I'm like, no, no,no, I've seen them anyway. I'm
sorry, go ahead, no,no, I'm uh you know, I'll
shout out the people on the wholistened to us on the iHeartRadio app because
they're kind enough to try to wadethrough whatever technical difficulties might be going on

(42:10):
over there. And I heard fromUh. I actually posted the photo at
the Alan Coach Show Facebook page.I got a message from Carrie who listens
down in Coming Georgia, and ofcourse they have all kinds of local merch
to that effect. The local Walmarthas got the I Love Coming Mugs mugs

(42:34):
and so Carrie is our sole bureauchief down there in Coming Georgia. And
she said that she had fallen bythe wayside on the show, but she
had fired it back up again andwas very happy to be back. And
then we got a postcard from Boband Jen, who listened to the show

(42:55):
in Astoria, Oregon. You know, Mary Santora lives in a story of
Queens all the way across the country. There's an Astoria, Oregon, and
that's where Bob and Jen live,and they thanks for the shout out on
the air the other day. Iguess I mentioned them. We just had

(43:15):
our first born two weeks ago,named Rosa, and listening to you rambling
away actually been helpful on those sleeplessnights. I really have to preread these.
Any who keep up the good workhate the show. Bob jen and
Baby Rosa. They are an historiaOregon. There you go postcard, so

(43:40):
thank you. I'm still a suckerfor physical mail. And there's some of
that. Yeah. So I don'tknow if there's a country thunder near here.
Maybe Wisconsin is the closest one.Didn't sound like it. Somebody wants
to go to Saskatchewan. No things, but you never know what people are

(44:05):
into. But they must have thrownnickelback a big old bag of money to
do that. Be like, yeah, it'd be us, because it's not
like that crowd is not going tolike them. It's a perfect marriage of
oh it's great. Yeah, they'regoing to do greats. Some breaking news
in the food world, by theway, they have banned Joey Chestnut from

(44:30):
this year's Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contestand hot on the heels of his primary
competitor retiring. Kobayashi just retired.The field was wide open. Joey Chestnut
usually like the perennial UH competitor outthere, and no wonder this guy can

(44:52):
eat so much. Man, histeeth are all over the place. Good
for him. He isn't a lotof coverage, but he's they're not letting
him participate, be because I guesshe has a deal with Impossible Foods.
He signed a deal with them,and that is a rival of Nathan's Hot
Dog and so they're not going tolet him compete. Makes sense though,
I guess that maybe that's something thatyou look into. I don't know what

(45:15):
you get. Obviously they're paying himmore money than he would have made winning.
I don't know what you get winningthe Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.
I think you get it what Idon't think you got a ton? Maybe
he starts his own contest, butit's vegan dogs. Vegan hot dog eating
contest. The winner will eat three. It might be on all the time
record. Yeah, it's been therest of the day on the toilet.

(45:37):
In addition to being a sixteen timechampion, he has won the contest every
year since twenty sixteen. Oh dosimply no way to know how many years
that is. But yeah, everyyear you get ten grand for winning the
Nathans first Well, they're paying himway more than that when Impossible Foods,
Yeah, it goes ten five fifteenhundred one thousand, So top five all

(46:00):
get money. A representative for mLE his major league eating. For those
of you who want another reason tobe depressed, I said that the organization
has gone out of its way tomeet his demands over the years. They
let him participate in a rival contestthat was going to be filmed by Netflix

(46:22):
as long as there was no hotdog brand mentioned, but him choosing to
be the face of a different brandthat just means Nathan's didn't. They were
happy with all the free advertising thathe gave them, but sooner or later
you got a pony up brands that'son them that ain't on him. They
got a Nathan Santa Crocker Park.I don't even know if that thing is

(46:45):
still open. Every time I driveby, it's closed. I don't know
they do any business there. Maybeit's a daytime or I don't know.
I think it's just like a Fridayand Saturday thing. You think so,
or maybe Saturday Sunday when there's morefoot traffic there. Uh. But Joey
Chestnut was paid two hundred thousand dollarsto appear in last year's contest, because

(47:07):
you figure when you get to thatpoint, right, it's not You're not
just doing it for the prize money. You're like, okay, now you
got to put yeah. So andhe was also offered a four year,
one point two million dollar contract,so they ponied up to some degree.
But that means that impossible food's offeredhim more so, wait, Nathan's offered
him one point two years for fouryears. Yeah. Wow. Imagine you

(47:30):
get into a bidding war over aguy who's famous because he can eat a
lot of wet hot dogs. Imean, he's done it at Calves games,
right, He's done the the wetwieners hot at Calves games. The
thing is watching him eat food doesmakes me not want to So, like,
if he's eat scarfing down these impossiblehot dogs, I'm gonna be like

(47:52):
at that. I don't want those. When he the Nathan's hot Dog Eating
contest ruins hot dogs for me everyyear, ruins food for a couple hours,
No, just hot dogs. Listen, I don't watch it and go
really go for a song, man, I'm feeling peckish. I mean,

(48:14):
for real, nothing is going toruin hot dogs for me really, But
I don't watch. I don't huhof course hot dogs. But I don't
watch this contest, but I've watchedit a bunch of times, and like
it's one of those things where I'mnot feeling hot dogs for a few weeks.
Yeah, I feel like if I'vewatched it once, I've watched it
plenty of times. But I lovethis statement that Major League Eating had to

(48:37):
put out. For nearly two decades, we've worked under the same basic hot
dog exclusivity provisions. Excuse me,what is your restaurant's policy on hot dog
exclusivity? If I have a contractwith another company, can I be on
Hey, listen, we have tocontend with that. There's brands that we

(48:59):
endorse and we can't this is dramathough we can't have a photo of some
Yeah, they like Joey Chestnuts seenat a Coney Island. Yeah, you
know what I mean. Reprotedly,they do not serve impossible time news at
eleven. Yes, he's like wrappedup in some scam. Yeah, yep,

(49:20):
we'll keep you up to date onthat crisis, I guess. But
there's Uh, there's also a lawsuitover a Coldstone Coldstone Creamery, which I
I think I've only been in oneor two my whole life. We went
into one when we were in uhOrlando this past spring if or spring break
went into a Coldstone. But beforethat, it had been a long long

(49:44):
time since I've been a It's justnever on my radar. There's one two
blocks away from me that's until midnight. Really, that'll get me some late
nights if I'm might coming home fromshows. And that I mean an ice
cream place open at eleven thirty attimes. God yeah, midnight, God
yeah. Get a little diary ofdo they have vegan flavors? Yeah,

(50:05):
they have chocolate. That's it.So I have to like really be in
the mood for it because they don'thave a lot of things they can have,
and like I need a little chocolatecone. Well. A federal judge
in New York has given the goahead to a woman in Long Island who
filed a class action lawsuit saying thatcustomers are being duped because certain flavors do
not contain those ingredients. There areno real pistachios in pistachio ice creams her

(50:30):
contention, and I guess she gotso upset she filed a lawsuit because she
reasonably believed that the pistachio ice creamcontained pistachio What is the difference? Though?
If you like the way it tastes, what do you care what's in
it? We want a lawsuit.Some want to know what they're putting in
their body. These are first worldproblems. Yeah, I'm sure there's a

(50:51):
real health nut over there. AtColdstone there were no pistachios after they read
the company's website, but rather pistachioflavoring. And she didn't care for that.
She don't cottonto the pistachio flavoring.She wanted pistachios. Why don't you
just get vanilla and take it homeand put pistachios on it? Because it's
false advertising on they deserve to paytrue, she said. Competitors like Hagendaws

(51:15):
use real pistachios. Why can't you? And so they're letting this case go
forward. Well, I mean coldStone, this is what happens too.
This is not to go off therails because I have to go to a
break, but this is what happenswhen you have companies the end up getting
sold to like big private equity firms, or they start getting publicly traded.

(51:40):
It's a race to the bottom.For quality. That's what invariably happens.
It's why people get so upset aboutfor profit hospitals because these companies come in
and when they convert to public toprivate ownership from public, the only thing
that they're expected to do is increasethe profits. And so they start like

(52:02):
selectively accepting patients in firing a lotof doctors and nurses. They go,
hey, look it is, youknow, and to obviously a much lesser
degree place a Coldstone which got soldoff to some venture capital company a couple
of years ago, and that's whenthey start using, you know, pistachio
flavoring. When people used to goin for pistachios. I actually think it's

(52:25):
exactly the same thing as doctors andnurses getting fired. Well, a lot
of them quit because the commissary didn'thave pistachio ice cream. I knew it.
They also didn't care for the factthat some of the doctors in those
private hospitals refer to the mortuary asColdstone Creamery, the official show of those

(52:46):
weirdos who ride shotgun with their barefeet on the dashboard. You're a weird
though, but let's do this,well, you wims in Times sub term

(53:20):
any time s changes see friendship.Well, if you'l like a lot of
theatricality in your arena rocks, you'redigging on Ghosts. But I'll have those

(53:42):
passes for you. The remainder ofthe week just Swedish kiss, I mean
what just because of the makeup andthat, like, and then the music
being way lighter than they like thethemes of the show. Yeah, but
I feel like they used to bewhen they were Ghosts BC. I feel
like they were heavier before they hadto change their name. But I don't

(54:05):
know, But I mean people whowere into that. Nobody is middle of
the road on Ghosts. People areinto that band or it's not on their
radar. I'm kind of in thelatter camp. They're okay, I mean,
and they were good. It wasit was that a sonic temple and
yeah, clip on show. They'renot something I listened to regularly, but

(54:25):
I had a little bit of aghost face. Okay, that a hardcore
show last night. Who was playingthere? I don't know, Button Fart
and blood Fart and I don't know, I don't know the band wait,
but and Far took Blood Fart outwith them. Yeah, man, that's
a good line, I don't andNickel and the Bellamie Brothers. I was,

(54:46):
I wasn't. I was there becauseno class. Yeah yeah it was
fine, like I had no kids. Love that place. Yeah, I
always love that place. But it'sjust so uh rible. It's not for
everybody. Yeah, it's you know, I can handle a few minutes at
a time. I did not staythe whole night, but as you know,

(55:07):
there's a few minutes. I waslike, Okay, this is kind
of rocking right now and then,but yeah, the screaming just is too
much. Magnitude, Combust, Balmoura, Live It Down and Grudge, Yeah,
local bands or no, I thinka few of them are. And
I know Grudge is a local band. Uh. I don't remember the other

(55:27):
ones that were. I've been goingout a lot lately. Why shouldn't they
It's summertime. Just saying, livein your life ban every time. I
feel like every day you're like,oh, I was out last night doing
karaoke? Was that a band?I was doing this like you can do
a lot of things as what shouldhe be doing? I'm not saying anything,
I'm just making a state of observation. Yeah, it seems that he's
been going out more lately than before. Now tonight at no class, it's

(55:52):
whoop woop Tuesday. Whoop woo woowhoop. If you're into icps, be
tripping you free Fago dogs they probablyoh please tell me. They poke holes
in them and then dunk them ina giant pitcher of fago and the grill
and they'll do face painting too.So congratulations to all the Juggalos in the

(56:15):
area. Tonight there no class hashtagnot an ad. Bill was there last
night. Do you want to seesome of Bill performing karaoke? Mary?
Want to see that? Well,somebody send it to me. I can
send it to you so you canalso see it. Mary, Well,
I could play it for you.I mean, you don't have to watch

(56:36):
She's a song that I like orsomething and the boys are back in town.
Okay in Lizzy, I mean youdon't have to watch it if you
don't want to. This is done. This person posted it to YouTube.
I think that was just the easiestway to share it. I think it's
I think it's like a private soit's you singing thin Lizzy. Yeah,

(56:57):
Am I waiting to play for Mary? Or I'm going to send it to
her so she you can see thedo you like split your pants open or
something or thrown a big deal?I don't know if we're gonna play it
and you want to, I guessyou don't really need to see it.
Well, as I'm saying, shecan hear it. Yeah, you know.
Yeah, I don't think I've everybeen in the treehouse on karaoke?

(57:21):
Nott, When does the singing start? How many drinks did you had by
this? What part of let's setthis the table for me here? What
part of the evening is this?This is pretty early in my evening,
early, so you probably hadn't hadtoo much to drink it had like a

(57:44):
beer? A beer? Okay,the Misney shirts doing all the work.
Really, this is really back down. Yeah, great, No, but

(58:06):
I've heard you do karaoke and you'relike kind of belting it out. Really,
it sounds like you never heard thesong before. I've never sang that
song before. That's that was thefirst time doing that one. Now,
how did you land on the Boysare Back in Town? It's just a
great song. Yeah it is.And I was like, you know what
I'll do, boys Are Back inTown? But then Lizzie yep. Did
you say this is a tribute toPhil Nnett Lake? Right? No,

(58:28):
No, But let's see how closeBills is to this one. It's not
close at all. Pretty bad.She's like all the way on top.
Yeah, nail that part. Yougot the chorus because I hadn't really drank

(58:51):
much either. I didn't have likethe That's that's why I asked like this.
There's a sweet spot where I'm likekind of okay, but I'm not
a singer. I can imagine thisgets better with alcohol. I get a
little more confident. I'm a littlebit more There's there's more swag to it,
saying the performance gets better. Thevoice doesn't change. The voice gets

(59:14):
a little better. I feel likemore relaxed head. But also I just
don't know how to like. Thisis a hard song to sing for me,
so I just then do good?But whatever, how did you sing
another song? The more you hadto drink? Uh? Now? To
close out the treehouse? We wewent from the treehouse, then we went
to uh. Then we went towhere we go quirkies, and then I

(59:37):
sang my go to over there,which is uh say it and so by
wheezer and that it always gets thecrowd going. And this crowd carries me
on that one because they sing along. Okay, So I mean the Boys
are Back in Town is a morefun song than say it and so right.
But with the crowd at Quirky's,they all know that song. So

(59:59):
every time I seen that, soundlike the whole crowd starts singing along.
But they must have heard the boysare back in Town. I'm sure they
have, but I've never tried tosit I see, but the lyrics go
pretty fast and boys are back inTown, so it's harder to sing along
with any other part than the boy. The wheezer one's a little a little
more measured. Ye, what's thatmerry? You want more? Okay?

(01:00:22):
What kind of a set up theyset? Mary? I can't hear Bill
sing when you're talking. You canhear past, all right, So what
was your question? Mary? This? I mean, I'm watching I'm a

(01:00:44):
little behind on the live stream obviously, but the setup, it seems like
there's people both in front of andbehind you. Well, there's a DJ
in the corner, Took. Ifeel like your back is to a wall
and you're performing it out. Thisseems like they just kind of plopped in
the middle of the bar. Yeah, it's kind of like there's a screen
in front of you, and Inotice that front bar a treehouse is not

(01:01:07):
big. Yeah, why not whynot rotate it? Why not put the
screen where you're standing and you standwith your back against that. Well,
you're gonna have to take that upwith the people at seventy one Entertainment because
I'm saying this seems like a comfortpeople walking in front of you, behind
you, around you, through yoursong. It doesn't seem like this was
carefully orchest Karaoke's supposed to be communal, Mary, not not people just wandering

(01:01:30):
around. Well listen, Yeah,take it up with Bill, take it
up with the DJ. Don't takeit with me. You're the one set
it up. Yeah, I'm justthe patron mm hmm. You're just the
purveyor of that particular thin Lizzie.So someone just recorded you and then sent
you this YouTube link and was likecheck it out. Yeah, like he

(01:01:52):
was. He was really excited forme to because he listened to the show
and he sent it to me andBill, Yeah, he's he's like the
guy that was like it's his companysays, oh, oh, he wasn't
just a bystander. No, he'soh, I see, all right,
well there you go. Well hehad to have been pleased with something,

(01:02:13):
I guess. Yeah, all right, yes, Gus, is this me?
This is? You're singing? Yes, this is don't take all that
crowd noise out? Yeah, threwa couple of filters. This is.
I played the audio from the boardand either DJ board. Last night they
were asking of your worlds, whereyou pro two of them? You wouldn't

(01:02:35):
have been downtown down all the oldmen quiz like this. I would like
it to what are you a communist? You don't like the boys are back
in? It's a great songs,a great content. You just don't like
anything from nineteen seventy searing your opinionson music. There's no words, no,
no, no. I'm curious becausethis is a song that is not

(01:03:00):
necessarily a generational song. I mean, it's been around a long time a
lot of different people. It's awell known song, you know, Yeah,
it can be well known in badWell you think it's a bad song,
I mean, I just don't.I would say, I would say
history disagrees with you, But that'sfine. I'm listening to it like this
is kind of an annoying song.Why is that? Because it's like,

(01:03:20):
I don't know, it makes mewant to make the face that I'm making
right now. It's just like Iam listening to it like, this isn't
a very I don't. I wouldnever this guy's dead? Does that make
you feel better? This song out? Ever? I would never be,
Like, what do I want tolisten to today? The boys are back
in town? This feels like fiftyyear old dad's drunk on a golf course.
Well, yeah, it definitely leansthat way. I mean it's from

(01:03:42):
nineteen seventy six, so it's howabout jail Break from the same band,
like jail Break, Blow your skirtup. You might not like Ben Lizzie,

(01:04:08):
so maybe you don't like phil inIt's voice. Maybe it's so like
many like doesn't like music that's notlike really really produced either. Is that
true? No, I hate tobreak it to you. This was a
produced album. It's a produced album, but it's got some to it for
sure. No, that doesn't makeany sense at all, because I love
going to concerts and that's not heavilyproduced. What's that concerts? I'm I

(01:04:33):
cold sweat. I have a feelingI'm not gonna like this. I'm not
tested. I also don't really likethis genre of dad rock. It's not
dad rock. It's just seventies rock. I mean, yes, that is
dad rock. Now the seventies werewell, there's some people. There are
some people who think grunges dad rock. So I mean it's kind of all
depending on if you're twelve or ifyou're fifty. I guess, no,

(01:04:57):
this is bad. This is bad. You don't like cold Sweat, I
don't like Sin Lizzie. I'm picturingmaybe it's because you hate the Irish Mary.
Isn't that simple, not at all. I'm hinting a bunch of like
drunk dads in tank tops ignoring theirfamilies. Why is ignoring their families?
The PostScript? Can't they just beout having a good time because they're not.

(01:05:19):
I'm telling you what's in my headwhen I hear this. I mean,
if it makes you feel any better, Thin Lizzie is not a Bill's
probably the first person to sing thatsong in karaoke in quite some time.
B Thin Lizzie is not a band. You're really going to find the like
jukeboxes anymore and stuff even in dadbars. But it is a really well

(01:05:39):
known song. So but you don'tlike it, that's fine. I've heard
the song. I'm very familiar withit. Yeah, you don't ever want
to hear it again you don't likeit. I don't think I've ever listened
to it for more than a coupleseconds, because, like, if it
came on the radio, I'd belike, oh, I'm going to change
the station. Now. Do younot like it? Because the band name

(01:06:00):
is potentially body shaming? Not atall. I could care less about that.
People think you're being snarky about mebeing out. How am I being
snarky? No? She just saidyou're going out a lot. I just
made a comment. I said,it seems like you've been going out.
I feel like every single day youhave a story about how you were out
partying the night before. I'm notbeing snarky at all. I just you.
I think of you as an indoorcat, and it's like, but

(01:06:24):
I have been going out a lotfor since, Like, I mean,
I'm out all the time for years. No, no, no, not
with comedy. It seems like you'renot. I'm not saying, oh,
Bill has shows like No, Imean, it seems like you're going out
and like drinking and partying socially.Yeah, he's a dude, he's out
there, he's a man about town. He's a bon vivant Mary. I

(01:06:45):
think that's part of that is justthe friendships that I have that have kind
of blossomed over the years. AndI mean there's a lot of it is
comedy related. Still, No,it isn't. I was out doing comedy
on Sunday. Do you hear himsing that song? Mary? That was
hilarious. I was out doing comedy, and after comedy I went and met

(01:07:10):
up with a friend that's not comedyrelated though that was already yourself. Is
what I'm saying to anyone that likeI got up, I guess you're just
a different guy. Man. Idon't even know who you are anymore,
because the Bill Squire I know usuallygoes home after comedy is done. And
sometimes but like, if I havethe night the next day off, okay,

(01:07:30):
I wanna go hang out with pantsand sing poorly and sing poorly?
How about Whiskey and the Jar?Mary, You're like, oh, this
is such a great song. Metallicacovered it a long time ago. It
was a good Irish crock and roll. No you made it worse? Yeah,

(01:07:51):
all right, how about the Metallicaversion? No one? How does
Mary listen to country and think thingLizzy represents bad fathers? Well, who
would know better? He didn't.I never said country did it right?
You were just pointing at them forthat anyway, I'm I'm I'm not even

(01:08:13):
a guy planning his flag in ThinLizzy. I'm just interested in your listen.
Everybody hears music differently, and soit's interesting to me. It's not
it's not good, better and different. It's a but that's a song Bill
chose. It sounds now what huh? Sounds lame? Oh wait wait wait

(01:08:33):
we'll explain that people to Lizzy,it sounds it sounds like boring. Like
if I were to walk into aparty and that we're playing, nobody would
have a good story, you knowwhat I mean? Not a single person.
Well that's because you're thinking you're walkinginto a party of fifty year old
dads. Exactly what if you ifyear old dads have good stories, not
not at a Thin Lizzy party.Well, but they're gonna they're gonna be

(01:08:55):
about when they went to go seeThin Lizzy. They're drinking Michelobultra's on a
deck making their wives bring them anotherbeer. That's right, that's what you
associate with with that kind of classicrock. When I listening to that,
that's the picture that's going on inmy head. But there has to be
some classic rock that you like.I'm sure there's plenty. Yeah, nothing
Lizzy, nothing Lizzy, gotcha?Hmm? All right? Well, it

(01:09:18):
was one of Rolling Stone Magazine's fivehundred Greatest Songs of All Time, and
that was the list that included GregorianChance. They went, what's that that
list? Do you think of?Song's not good? Now it's a three
year old list. I'm saying thatthere's no way that this song is one
of the greatest songs of all timecurrently in their twenty twenty one edition of

(01:09:40):
the five hundred Greatest Songs of AllTime. Oh that was post COVID.
Everybody was sad. No, didn'tknow what they were saying. She does
have an answer. I'll give herthat. She's got an answer for her
opinion. Not that you have tohave one either, it's just your opinion.
Uh, all right, anyway,I got a here, but we
got we got off on all thatbecause Bill was just singing the song of

(01:10:02):
the Treehouse. Wow, would notrecommend this great? Then Lizzie's good.
I like him. I'm never angrywhen I hear him. Mary's angry every
time she hears them. Honestly,I can't think of if I heard jail
Break like I'm at the Gemina andsomebody plays, because sometimes they just have
like this classic rock thing on Sonosor whatever, and if jail Break will

(01:10:25):
come on, I'm happy. I'mlike, I like that song Anthrax covered
it. I always kind of associatedwith the different cover thing. Ellen,
is that if your your go toopinion of a song is I like when
another band did it? No,No, I'm just saying it's I think
that the reason that cover songs ofcertain songs are good, it's because the
original gives them so much to workwith. That's all. I meaning that,

(01:10:48):
Hey, this music is kind ofbland and boring. No, not
necessarily better to it, because Ilove the version of Her by nine and
Sales, and I love the versionby Johnny Cash. I love Boys of
Summer by Don Henley, and theatari's like, well I got to part
company with you there? Well?Which one that's fine? You know?
Like guitaris are the Don Hemley Ilike the Henley version, you know,

(01:11:10):
like Atari's Urson jail Break Somewhere aroundthis picture of me ignoring my kids,
Mary, I like it with amichelob was it milds you zero and a
mic Ultra. I feel like micultureis a dad drink. Wow, you
know, like your wife's making youwatch your sugars or something, so we

(01:11:31):
should die of beer. Well,you know, Nancy said we gotta come,
we gotta watch our figures and beeneating more cucumber. I've been watching
my finger eating more cucumber. Ohgod, damn it, Betty. The
only thing I gotta live good inmy life is still Lizzie. I mean,

(01:11:53):
these salads and cucumbers. You gottalet me sit in the garage and
listen to jail Break, Damna,Jeanett. Let me get up mountain in
the York. Yeah, with theboat out, Jeannette. Have you ever
been impregnated with excitement? Well,looks like you're showing welcome back to your
new daddy. Alan Cox Guardians playtonight. I think they were off last

(01:12:30):
night. Yeah they were then Okayweekend they will start up against the Cincinnati
Reds. Down there on the rivertonight. That is a seven to ten
first pitch was that the Great AmericanBallpark? Is that what it's called down
there? And then they'll play themagain tomorrow night at seven ten. Then
they'll go up three games against theBlue Jays in Toronto, and they'll come

(01:12:53):
back on the eighteenth to host theMariners. So Guardians Baseball tonight, seven
ten is your first pitch. Weroll out at six thirty. A few
minutes after that is when your pregamecoverage will begin here on MMS. I
remember all through the month of Junethe word cardinal as in the state bird.

(01:13:14):
He's very excited. Of course weshouldn't be able to hear that.
But with these brand new boards,we've got oh, just chef's kiss.
Nevertheless, a cardinal for twenty percentoff at cle Clothing Company, and you
can use it all month long,whether you're online buying some stuff or whether
you're in your store buying some stuff. Your buddy Hank Socks is on the

(01:13:35):
phone bill. Oh, Hank Socks, Hank, Hey, Hey, what's
going on? Hank? Hey,I'm a little sick. Sorry I coughed.
No, that's okay, I justI wasn't aware that I'd be able
to hear you. That's completely fun. You're under the weather. Hand I'm

(01:13:56):
I'm sick sick of Mary talking aboutTim Lindley like this, cough, Hank's
under the weather. Mary, don'texacerbate his problems on Nevertheless, you feel
fine. You're at one hundred percent. Hank's probably at forty seven percent.
It's for probably leave it, andprobably at eighteen percent. Eight cool.

(01:14:17):
God, he's being diminished by amoment here. That's no good. Every
second that she talks about then Lizzylike this, it breaks down your immune
system. Hank, is that isit? That's a band that you particularly
enjoy. You just don't care forher take on them both both. Oh

(01:14:38):
wow, it's a two for Mary. It's a double whammy. I'm getting
a lot of hate from dads,Hank. Are you a dad? Are
there little socks running around? There'sso many socks everywhere. They don't match,
They're all crusty. But yeah,I understand, all right, Well,

(01:14:59):
let's and I mean, I certainlywant to keep you if you're but
it seems that you were. Canask Can I ask Mary a question?
Please? He's right here. Mary, Let's say you're out of town,
and then also the boys are outof town, and then maybe for just
one night you all get together andit's the first time in a long time

(01:15:25):
you've all been in one place.Mary, what song are you going to
play? What song am I goingto play? Probably No Scrubs by No
Screwing? What better song to welcomethe boys back into town than no Scrubs
by TLC. She's got her fingeron the pulse, Hank. This country
is going down downhill. It's goingdownhill faster than his immune syst Tim Lizzy

(01:15:47):
is an Irish band. Oh Ithought he said Tim Mizzney was an Irish
band. I'm like, that'd bea great name for an Irish band.
But of course we're talking about thanLizzie. Listen, Hank. I don't
know if you've ever met Mary,but she is, to her credit,
very opinionated on a variety of things, and you never have to guess where
you stand with her. She willtell you. And almost none of my

(01:16:10):
opinions matter or are on important subjects. So where do you stand on sin
Lizzy? I've been I could notbe more clear on where I stand.
I am in the negative column donot like zero out of ten would not
recommend vote against. How many waysdo you need me to say this red
circle of the line through it?I'm curious how many more ways you have

(01:16:31):
to say it? She's going fullon ghostbusters on Tin Lizzie. Yeah,
not a fan. What songs doyou know? Besides the boys are back
in town? I don't care toknow any of them. Do I have
to know more? Played? Likeseven? How many do you play?
Played that? I played three orfour? Listen, Sinn Lizzie is a

(01:16:55):
bad band song. And besides,even if she found one song she liked
that would make her like the bandanymore, she would just like that song.
Why don't you tell Hank Socks whata band that you do like so
you can get an idea of whatkind of music you actually enjoy. No,
you don't even know follow boy.I know sugar, we're swinging,

(01:17:16):
We're going down exactly. I knowthe song that's better than the Boys are
back in town? What about thefallout boys are Back in Town tour?
Where a fall out boy goes outwith Thin Lizzy? Who's headlining Thin Lizzy?
You can just go for the opener. Yeah, well that's something to
think about. Okay, listen,Hank, boys back in town, and

(01:17:38):
you're gonna listen to fallout boy.I don't have any boys out of town.
I don't have boys that are cominginto town. Maybe it's because I
can't relate to the song where theboys are at. But you have any
boys, but you have some thingabout. The girls are back in town
again. Tails no scrubs, Noscrubs, but no scrubs is the celebration

(01:18:00):
of the ladies. It's telling theguys, hey, get the hell out
of my face. You're not goodenough for me or my friends. Okay?
Who run the world? Girls?Was that English? What happened?
Who? Girls? Girls? Okay, well, listen, I think anything
better. Simptimes fragments are great too. I don't know what to tell you,

(01:18:25):
Okay, listen, Hank. Idon't want to keep any longer because
clearly you need to put some vixedrub in your chest or something. Yeah,
man, you gotta take care ofyourself. He's closing in on eleven
percent, and I don't want tokeep him any longer. You know,
yeah, you know, you knowwhat might help that that cough Hank socks
a little whiskey in the Oh,I was going to think of the classic

(01:18:47):
Sinn Lizzy hit Dancing in the Moonlight. Not the one you're thinking of.
Mary's the one you're thinking of,Right, maybe I'll have to hear that
one. She was thinking of theother one, the other one classically,
right, all right, hey,listen, take care of yourself. Hank,
all right, thank you, pal. There's Hank Socks, one of
Bill's closest friends. I just methim, oh, one of Bill's most

(01:19:12):
recent acquaintances. He came up tome after that performance of Then Lizzy said,
you did bad, but it's agood song, so it's okay.
Mary doesn't remember that toy story hadthe song the Toys are back in town
on the advertisement for the movie.Well, maybe maybe she did. I
don't know. No, I definitelydon't remember that. Allen. I was
born in nineteen seventy seven, andthat year was the best year ever for

(01:19:34):
music. I mean, that wasa very good year for music, nineteen
seventy seven. That's kind of whenpunk broke in the States, and there
were a lot of good albums innineteen seventy seven. Didn't matter what you
were into, there was something foryou. Never mind the Bollocks came out

(01:19:54):
in seventy seven. Rumors came outin seventy seven. That's a great album.
Steely Dan Asia their magnum Opus cameout in seventy seven. Billy Joel's
The Stranger Play Something from the StrangerWell Eighties Joel talking Head's debut album came

(01:20:15):
out in seventy seven. Farewell toKings by Rush, Lust for Life by
Iggy Pop. That's a good one. Parliament Funkadelic nineteen seventy seven, Saturday
Night Fever, cat Scratch Fever.There were two varieties of fever in nineteen
seventy seven in Illness, two varietiesof fever. Yeah in the City by

(01:20:41):
the Jam, great album. PaulWeller in the Jam. That guy was
only one. I'm sorry. Thatguy said he was born in nineteen seventy
seven and this was the best yearfor music. How would he know,
Well, because you can go back. I think he's probably placing that squarely
on his own shoulders, because hecame into the world that year. He's
like, you know, Sin afterSin by Judas Priest, before they really

(01:21:05):
kind of figured out who they werenineteen seventy seven. So a lot of
good stuff Feeling Bitchy by Millie Jacksoncame out in nineteen seventy seven. Now
I was six years old, soI don't even remember that stuff. But
hey, Sarah Silverman is coming toCleveland, by the way, Yeah,

(01:21:27):
that's all that. She's announced atour, so for people who like Sarah
Silverman, keep that in mind.I don't know if I will have tickets
for you. I know some peoplehave asked, oh I will next week,
I'll have tickets for Sarah Silverman.She's on the post Mortem tour.
She's gonna do Playhouse Square on Septemberthe twenty first at the State Theater,

(01:21:48):
So that'll be next week. Nextweek's a weird week because we're out for
Juneteenth and we're out on the twentyfirst. But oh, Ray's got a
new song for you, Mary.Maybe thin Lizzy wasn't. Maybe thin Lizzy

(01:22:11):
wasn't. They don't like the cutof their jib. Ray never fails.
Well, I shouldn't say that.He hasn't failed so far to get Mary's
hackles up in one way or another. Sometimes they're good hackles, sometimes they're
bad hackles. When I was inin studio on Thursday, yeah, he
played. He had one that wasnot so bad. It was well,

(01:22:34):
he is leaning into the coconut milkand the but this one is called well
better the coconut milk than his previousprotagonist, which was hot squirting lava.
Right, this one's called funky hotdog love. Oh. I guess as
timely as today's headlines there for Maryhot dog queens. It's hard to tell

(01:23:01):
what they're saying sometimes. Anyway,this the music and the lyrics, it's
making it too hard to understand.But I thought he's going in on Brian

(01:23:23):
again. Huh Oh, Mary's jamminworsh burner on two feet. Brian chills
with the rats down in the sewer. He doesn't doing sewer acrobats. That's
not what the song says. Ilike. I like that you feel compelled
to clarify that he does not chillwith the rats in the sewer. Brian,
what's going on? Y'all? Herewe go? Yeah? Gross?

(01:23:56):
What do you mean gross? Yousaid it? You said it? Mm
hm. The rats go wild.Poor Brian. He's the snack all right,
uh, swinging a minute? AndSatan's in there too. Satan laughs
in flames. Yeah, So whyare they so hard to hear. Some
of them are like really good andcrystal because I think it's I think if

(01:24:17):
it's a busy form of music likehe put in groovy funk or whatever keywords
he used, I think if it'ssomething simple and lunkheaded like country, it's
it's more musically sparse when you throwin a bunch of stuff like that and
then the fake AI vocals go overit, and that's got such a weird
cadence and pronunciation to it, Yeah, that it gets hard to understand.

(01:24:38):
And I think that's the case there. Well, but he tried, He's
always trying. I guess that wasthe next question. Are raise AI songs?
Now? I want you, Iwant you to think about it,
because your your reflexive answer would probablybe because you're it's it's still raw,

(01:24:59):
it's very fresh, sheer dislike ofThin Lizzie. But are Ray's AI songs
his odes to Mary Santora's greatness?Are those more or less listenable than anything
from the Thin Lizzy catalog? What'sthis? What's the vibe like like at
a party? Or just matter general? Great music is not context based,

(01:25:23):
doesn't matter. Great song is greatanywhere. I think i'd still rather put
on Thin Lizzy because I, oh, really, I haven't heard hot Love
of Explosions, Finn. Lizzie's nottrying to feed my boyfriend to the devil.
Oh, well, you haven't gonetoo deep on thin Lizzy, have
you? You've never heard feed myboyfriend to the devil? That Lizzy heard
that one? Oh? Okay,I think that was on jailbreak. But

(01:25:43):
okay, Well there's something except forthat one song he did on Thursday.
That was a good one. Mmhmmm. I don't remember what it was,
but there was no coconut milk.There wasn't anything like that. It
was just like a complimentary, nice, fun, family friendly song. Uh
yeah, only friendly. That's reallywhat you want. Yeah, that's what
we're going for here, right.No, I don't I don't know what

(01:26:05):
that song was. I don't stillhave it. But he he has submitted
so many of them that it's hardto keep them straight. Ray Mary Santora
foot polka. I don't think we'veheard that one. Well, I haven't
played all of them because some ofthem are so hard to understand. It's
like, I'm you know, whatwas the most recent one. I can't

(01:26:32):
I can't even remember I just notbeing gross. Yeah, okay, well
listen, Ray, you've got yourmarching orders. Then maybe pivot, No,
no, no, pivot, youknow, less gross. Maybe R
and B. Well, something inthe vein of rat or something in the

(01:26:54):
you know, fallout boy type ofmusic pop punk. But again, that
gets real fast, and he's donethat or other people have done that before
too, and again I mean againgo crazy right whatever, Well, well
it's case by case and if wecan decipher it, we'll we'll figure it
out. Yeah, and condolences onthe two years since you lost your dad.

(01:27:16):
I'm gonna do a real hard pivotto Yeti's if I understood the story
correctly. On Friday, I thinkit was you dropped your yetti, the
lid broke, and you throw youthrew the whole thing out. I know
you talk about not being a millionaireand not being wealthy, but that happened
to my yetti. I dropped itin the parking lot. The magnetic part

(01:27:40):
of the lid just completely disappeared,and I thought it was going to be
you know, I didn't have tothrow it away because I couldn't find the
lid. But then I just foundout you can buy the lid. Now
you did not understand the story.The the I know every company sells replacement
lids. I didn't throw it awaybecause the lid was cracked. The lid
in the neck was cracked. Theway that I dropped my yetti tumbler last

(01:28:01):
week. Plastic crack the next chat, Yeah, cracked. There was no
way to put a replacement. Everybodysay your replacement lip. No, I
got my a wala I got.I think this is too big though mine
is too big. Yeah, Igot the super Jeremiah suggested suggestive. Soba's
on this. Yeah, I likeit. It's good, But you got

(01:28:23):
the sipper. It doesn't fit inmy cup holders in the same So why
would you get because I didn't know. And I also didn't measure my cup
holder. I don't know, andand so I got this. It works,
it's good. Yeah, but itjust it's the other one, the
smaller one. I'd have to refillall the time, and my old and

(01:28:45):
my other one was like that thickplastic. The only thing with the stainless
steel that Jeremiah recommended was, youknow, there's sturdy. Obviously, it
keeps it super cold, but thewater tastes like metal, which I don't
care for as much. I mean, with the plastic you get condensation on
the outside, which is kind ofpaining the ass. But I mean it's
good. It's a good solid thing. But no, but the yetie thing.

(01:29:08):
The only reason I threw the wholething away is because it was it
was not salvageable at all. Yeah. So and besides, like twenty five
dollars you have to be a millionaireto replace your yetti cup, like bragging
because she's got the stanley and it'sgot the tapered bottom so it fits in
the cup holders. And well that'sthat's that. That's hard to put my

(01:29:28):
water bottle in the car, Ijust put it on the seat next to
me. Well I have somebody inthe seat, oh flex. My big
thing is I don't like drinking outof a straw, Like I don't like
good for you. I like that. Actually, give up water bottles that
come with a straw. I don'tlike that. I won't drink it at
all. Well, no, thestraw and this is internal so you just

(01:29:49):
had the little sipper lip. Iwant just like an open like the just
like to do that you can do, especially if it's by your bed in
the middle of the night. Justlittle thip. I'd rather golf a little
nighttime thip. Just like take alittle poll on it. Because Brian got
me. I got that. Hegot me a giant I think it's like

(01:30:10):
a forty eight ouncer. It's abig one. But it came with a
couple of different lids. It camewith the regular one that's just like a
regular it's just like an opening abottle. Got me, and then he
got me one that has like asipper like you guys are describing that with
the interior straw, but the it'slike a sipper mouth. I maybe drink
a half a bottle of that theentire day because I'm like, I do

(01:30:31):
not like it felt like I wasdrinking out of a bottle, like a
baby bottle out of a bottle.But the wider mouth is you can just
golp it if you want. Ilike, I'm a golfer. That's fine.
Hear that guy's yeah, gopel gulpfrom all over the country playing your
favorite music. Half a million podcasts, thousands of playlists for every mood,

(01:30:55):
over one hundred commercial free music channels, and over a hundred million songs to
fill your favorite playlist. Download thealways free iHeartRadio app and start listening now
my Heart Radio it tops a kthe boy by this election year twenty twenty

(01:31:20):
four, a big year. He'scommitted to the real issues like dehydrated great
supply and banana bio protocols. Thisis what people care about. Alan Cox
one hundred point seven WMMS Guardians playtonight. That's a seven to ten start

(01:31:47):
down there in Cincinnati. They tooktwo or three in Miami against the Marlins,
so seven to ten tonight the twogame series against Cincinnati, so six
forty is when that pregame coverage willbegin. You will hear all of it
here on MMS and on the iHeartRadioapp. If you listen to us from

(01:32:10):
out of state on the app,tell me where you do that. Ryan
listens in Delphos, Ohio. That'sthat's not that far from Fort Wayne.
It's way on the other side ofthe state. Jeff the truckers in Yuma,
Arizona. Josh listens in Tulsa,Oklahoma. Scott's in Sarasota, Florida,

(01:32:33):
and Annie is in Ogden, Utah. Ellen, what's up with all
these heads of state going out inairplane crashes. Who was the last one?
The VP of Malawi died in aplane crash? Who was the one

(01:32:57):
that just died not long? Oh, like the president of Iran or something
thing? Then want the mullas godown in a plane a couple of weeks
ago. That was like a big, big story. Well maybe these are
both Boeing planes. I don't know. The Vice president of the country of
Malawi, Solo's Chilima, killed ina plane crash along with nine other people.

(01:33:23):
I mean again, I don't knowthat. I don't know that two
random accidents constitutes a chain of people. But yeah, the President of Iran
was killed in a plane crash acouple of weeks ago. And I don't
know. Flying's tough, boy,I mean, it's not like these guys
are flying commercial either. You know, these are planes that clearly weren't.

(01:33:48):
I don't know. I don't know. Kobe went down. These guys went
down. Kobe ahead of state.Yeah, Bill, he was the head
of state for the La Lakers.He was the president of Jeanie Boss Paul
Lee's. Kobe was the president ofLos Angeles to a lot of people,

(01:34:12):
And what's up with Mary today?She's complained about Finn Lizzie, and now
Straws is everyone saying that, noteveryone just this person there. People in
the chat are like Mary's she's inbad mood today. Mary needs to go
to see your therapist more. I'mlike what because I don't like Finn Lizzie
people. Sometimes that's all it takes. And now you don't like Straws.

(01:34:33):
No, I just I like this. We're gonna have dueling. Mary's dueling,
gulping, Mary's the higher tone.No, I like that one boom,
that's my bullrump uh, that's prettygood. A lot of listen if

(01:34:56):
it makes you feel better. Yousaid, I'm a golfer, and a
lot of people are call him Briana lucky guy. He's looking, you
know, not according to Ray downthere with the rats, he is not.
He's listening. The ghost in thesewer had a great weekend. Lot
of golpen that's right. Um,No, I don't like them, Lizzie.
And now everybody's mad, But noteverybody's madrig I'm there's plenty of people

(01:35:19):
who don't like the squeaky Wheel.It's fine. No, I don't like
drinking out of a straw when itcomes to a water bottle like a pop
at a restaurant. I need astraw, something with ice in it.
I think that's the difference. Ifmy drink has ice in it, I'd
prefer straw. If it is aniceless drink, no straw, right,

(01:35:42):
because you don't want the ice hittingyour little your little teethi'es hurt. I
true ice, I tru ice atthe very end of a drink. But
I don't want to pick up aglass, like an open glass that has
ice in it and have it clankon my teeth. Every time I see
you know what I mean. You'rea tooth clanker, not a tooth clanker.
Yeah, Lisa in Jamestown, Tennessee, Alan Mary is absolutely right.

(01:36:09):
Every time I hear that music fromthe seventies, I think of fifty plus
year old men who can't let goof their teenage years. Yes, yes,
Uncle Rico's from Uh that's a nicefresh reference for you guys. Yeah,
okay, two and three Dynamite fogHat slow Ride, that's your guys'
is problem more than like it's justfun music. Well, but you know

(01:36:32):
what, but it's generational the musicthat you like. Mary reminds you of
when you were in high school andpeople younger than you would go, this
is terrible. Who ever listened tothis right? Older? Yeah, I
mean I was a teenager in theeighties, So when people talk about how
terrible that decade was for music,I'm like, well, there were so

(01:36:54):
many things going on musically in theeighties that you can eat. You know,
if you're wildly throwing darts, yeah, you're gonna hit something. And
there was a lot of great stuffin the eighties too. I like seventies
like R and B because my dadseventies soul, you know, funk soul,
R and B like that. Ilike nineties and two thousands and twenty
ten pop, rap, R andB country. I mean really, the

(01:37:18):
only thing I don't have a superliking to is classic rock. And I
understand that we're on a rock station. Well, but even we're not over
here playing thin Lizzye on mmris.I mean we're not really going that deep.
I like like post grunge, Ilike whatever they whatever nickelback is,

(01:37:38):
Yeah, you we we've got youpegged. You like like meat and potatoes
kind of chick rick. Yeah,I don't even call it chick rock.
I'm just like, it's just riffrock. Yeah. I like that.
You're you're not not alone. Wewere driving in the car yesterday and uh,
what's your fantasy by Ludacris came oneverything, every single word, and

(01:38:00):
Brian looked at me. He's like, how do you know everyone? I
was like, dude, like twothousands hurt yeah, two thousands rapping hip
hop. I was like, that'swhen I was like in high school going
to dances and you know that intocollege with the Twin Tans. I mean
that was like my era of goingout clubbing in the guard dirt. Yeah,

(01:38:23):
Leon Luda boy, he can turna phrase too, knows what's up.
Here's your unpopular opinion. You canhave your eminem. I'll take Ludacris.
Thank you very much, lud Wow, Ludacris, Chris Bridges. Yeah.

(01:38:44):
Someone in the chat said basic whitegirl music. Mary is a white
girl. If you watch the livestream at alancoxshow dot com, you will
see evidence to corroborate that opinion.She is white. By the way,
if you are watching the to chortleGo swamp for helping huh is it a
chortal last Yes, somebody named theirkid name their kid chortle. He's Guffaw's

(01:39:10):
sister a chortal swamp or is it? Is it guswamp or swamp either way,
Gus chortle. Nickelback genre is badmusic. Someone says, yeah,
but you can't call anything bad music. I mean, you know, because
like everybody like, Nickelback is justwhatever to me, Like it's not good

(01:39:33):
or bad. It's just kind oflike it. Sometimes, I mean the
Moon Forward. Sometimes I'm not.It's not anything I ever play that.
I'll be like, oh, Ineed to put on a Nickelback song.
It's kind of a meme at thispoint. That's not what I want.
I want the Shags. You wantto hear bad music, you gotta go
back to the Shags. The onlythe things I don't really I don't like

(01:39:56):
our eighties synthesizer bs. I don'tlike that at all, like that type
of eighties pop stuff. Not afan. I do not like classical music
at all. It creeps me out, makes me feel very uncomfortable, like
that's crazy. Orchestra music makes mefeel like someone's about to get murdered.
I don't know, man, supercreepy to me. Well, Bill is
our local patron of the arts.So don't talk shrimp on classical means talk

(01:40:19):
you shrimp on it. It makesit just makes it uncomfortable. No,
I mean it. You can't helphow you react to music. If it
makes you uncomfortable, that's fine.I just I just love it because it's
so It is that visceral and itmakes me feel just I love classical music,
blues music. Every single time Ihear blues music live, I cry

(01:40:40):
and it's like not even I don'teven help it. It's like I get
goosebumps on my skin and my eyesjust well up, and I have like
a very strong reaction to live.But yes, every time that's Mary trying
to choke down the tears at ablues show. So you would hate Sun
City the eighties on Instagram. Iwas listening to that when you guys were

(01:41:02):
going to that. I was drivingto Michigan listening and I was like,
this is bad. This is reallybad, and I was glad that I
could change the channel and that Iwasn't in. Yeah, this is not
for me, and that's gonna beless for me. Oh, you're very
much a kid of the nineties.This is Saturday Morning nineteen eighty seven and

(01:41:24):
you watch the city come to lifefrom your penthouse apartment. I like how
it says your penthouse apartment on thetop floor. Yeah, I think we
got it. I think penthouse prettymuch. Yeah, so not for Mary
all right? Well, saxophone thoughthat's not really synthesizer. Well there's some
in there though, I mean allthe other instruments. The guy's playing on
keys, so he's sampled guitar andhe's sampled. Yeah. Yeah, No,

(01:41:49):
it says it's nineteen eighty seven.You just arrived at the prom and
this is gonna be the night.Yeah. John Cryer is ducky. That's
kind of what, all right?Any I don't want to two in the
weeds on that thing again. Butyou know, listen, I like metal

(01:42:10):
music with no lyrics, Metal musicwith no lyrics. Oh, instrumental metal
music, big fan. Okay,I start singing that I have a problem.
Okay, yeah, but but instrumentalmusic is usually pretty wonky, like
it's a lot of guitar solos andit's not just yeah, but you're talking
about you would like a song asit's constructed, but you don't like the

(01:42:33):
growling and the singing correct. Instrumentalmusic was never written for vocals. What
I mean? Right? I know? I like the first forty seconds of
metal music before anybody opens their mouth, right start. I can look out
to this God, Brandy, Lama, God, I'm running sopad How dare

(01:43:09):
you besmirched? Brandy? Bly likethat? Now? I'm playing that this
Saturday night, playing all kinds ofnew stuff. How do you feel about
dope? Lord? How's that scratch? You? Are you funny? You
might like it more on the stonerysid I can bomp around on that bop.
Yeah, we got a full twohours of bop medal this. Oh,

(01:43:31):
we got to do hot celebrity gossip. Mary, Sorry, sorry forget
the bop. I gotta do thegossip. Let's go, all right,
gossip. This celebrity gossip we harassed, built it. Oh, get ready

(01:43:55):
to gulp down some gos. No, you're not gonna play long h All
right, let's get things started.Taylor Swift had a weird incident at at
a concert over in London. Aman that was sixty sixty four years old
was charged with voyeurism. Apparently herperformance was so sexual it got him a

(01:44:21):
little aroused and he started taking mattersinto his own hands. According to inside
sources. Inside sources, the peoplearound him said, I knew he was
trouble when he ranked it. Ohyeah, it's kind of one of her
songs. Billy Ray Cyrus is inthe news. He's gonna have an achy

(01:44:46):
breaky heart. He's getting a divorcefor the third time. Oh yeah.
Him and Rose from fire Rose.They've been married for about seven months.
But apparently she was not uh themost faithful life, and so he wants
to get the whole thing and noled. He said, it's not uh,

(01:45:09):
it's not what I thought I was. I was duped. But according to
fire Rose, according to inside Sources, broke her confidentiality. Fire Rose said
that, hey, that wasn't medoing those things. That was my alter
eger, my alter ego. Uhhand job Montana. Oh yeah. And

(01:45:31):
then finally, Oprah was supposed tomake an appearance on CBS this weekend,
but it was hospitalized, she said. Gail King said it was coming out
of both ends and yeah, prettygross. According to inside sources, Inside
Sources, Oprah was still her charitableself while she was in the hospital.
She was pointing to all the staffand she goes, you get a fart,

(01:45:55):
and you get a fart, andyou get a fart. Celebrity gossip
with the rest. What would GailKing publicly say that? I don't know

(01:46:17):
she did. She's like, yeah, Obrah was supposed to be on our
show today, but she's not goingto be here because she's taken ill.
And it's coming out of both ends, Like come on, you have to
do that. You have to throwher under the bus like that. Have
you seen the heavenly farts clip?The guy who stumbles over his words at
the sermon? No, before webegin, let's pray, let's pray,

(01:46:43):
heavenly farts, heaven hermaid ready tohear the truth, to be stimulated to
love you more. Mm hmm,heavenly farts, let's pray. What would
you go back to church if thatwas a sermon? Well, this is
from the sermon at my church.It isn't. Before we begin, let's

(01:47:06):
pray, let's pray, heavenly farts, Heavenly Father, our hearts. This
and he's just trying to get thepoint across. He's trying to draw from
the Good Book. Uh if church, No, that wouldn't make me go
back? No, of course not. It was heavy on the fart puns,

(01:47:29):
just him tripping over his tongue.You know, I'm saying, what
if they related every Bible story topoop? I mean, I That's how
I grew up, is every Biblestory is related to poop. A lot
of mentions of you know, theass in the Bible smiting. We all
know what that means. Slid,backslid, that's it. That word is

(01:47:51):
in the Bible. Backslid. Idon't know, but it's pretty contemporary,
is it he backslid? Yeah,yeah, sliding? Oh all right,
well you would use that in areligious context. That's what it means.
It means someone who was saved andthen isn't it anymore? Well, but

(01:48:13):
that's a that's a contemporary word touse for that. It was a butt
pun, Allen, No, Iunderstand. I'm just saying, if that
if that word, it still hasto be tethered to the Bible. Right,
it was just a god. Butit's not That's what I'm saying.
It's not fun. It's not captainfun to another word. Sorry, call

(01:48:40):
the Alan Cox Show. Where's thebest place in America to meet single girls
and guys? Six seven eight onedouble oh seven or one eight three four
eight one double oh seven. Here'ssome instrumental for you, Mary. That's

(01:49:10):
what I've always hoped for. Iused to use this as our goodbye song
band called Intervals. But it's allinstrumental, but it is all. It's
very wonky too, So it's like, if you're a guitar player at that
level, you know you'll see guysplaying these songs on TikTok and stuff.
But other than that, I don'tknow that it really want to scratch it
where you itch? But who knowsthese guys should be on Country Thunder?

(01:49:36):
Yeah? Sure. Guardians start upagainst the Cincinnati Reds tonight. That's a
seven to ten start. Only twogames in that series, a seven ten
tonight and tomorrow night, and thenthey will head up to Toronto play the
Blue Jays over the weekend before returninghome to the Friendly Confines. One week
from tonight they will host the Marinersand then the Blue Jays will come down

(01:49:59):
here. And the Guardians are stillkilling it though, doing very very well.
Breathing rarefied air boy Orioles Yankees.Who else is doing really really well?
Phillies, Phillies are doing well,yep, But my white Sox Holden
steady boy. They are consistent.If nothing else, they're the worst team

(01:50:23):
in baseball fifty losses. They areseventeen and fifty. But there it is.
They were a couple of weeks ago. You might recall we had David
and Joku from your Cleveland Browns inhere and he was talking about his big
celebrity softball thing that who is doingout in Avon and it was mostly Browns

(01:50:46):
players, but he had kind ofa rogues gallery of who's who people right,
had some reality show people, hadsome YouTuber and his grandma out there
or whatever. And people were allholding their breath because Deshaun Watson was playing
and he got into a collision outthere on the field, and people were

(01:51:08):
people were really clenching over this.They were worried he uh crashed into somebody
out there on the field. Inthe first inning, Deshaun Watson, playing
first base, despite still recuperating fromsurgery, leapt up to catch a pop

(01:51:29):
up and collided with the second basementand flipped down onto his right shoulder.
I can't believe. I can't believethey even let these guys do this.
His shoulder doesn't work. How ishe gonna assault massage therapist. He's very
resourceful from what I've under understood abouthim. The crowd gasped as he was

(01:51:54):
down for a few seconds. Butimagine you get hurt playing, uh,
with all due respect, a dumbcelebrity softball game out there. But he
caught the ball. Didn't somebody dothat? They Guardians player last year,
like broke their thumb playing with theirkid, or Trevor Bower years ago,
like this pinky with a drone orsomething. Yeah, Trevor Bower did that.

(01:52:18):
But it happens all It happens allthe time. These guys got hurt
because they a lot of them haveclauses in their contracts where they're not allowed
to participate in certain things because they'relike, hey, there's a liability.
We do not want you getting hurtat some charity function. We need you

(01:52:39):
to be on the field. Aquarter of a billion dollars for you,
brother, that's right. So heis okay for all intents and purposes,
I guess. But they have gotMini camp going on out there now.
They made a big deal. Iheard stand where you're talking about the fact
that Amari Cooper was not at Minicamp. Yeah, he's holding up for

(01:53:02):
a new contract. Is that whatit is? Yeah? Is that what
Aaron Rodgers is doing? I don'tthink that's what he just got there.
Yeah, Aaron Rodgers is doing hisown thing. Yeah, Aaron Rodgers is
a different, different animal there.Aaron Rodgers skips mini camp too there for
the Jets, and then they weren'tsuper pleased about it. But the coach
is like, look, he hehad something he had to do that was

(01:53:24):
very important to him, an appearanceon a podcast. Yeah, it must
have been a flat Earth convention inTrenton, and he goes and if it's
important to him, it's important tous. Maybe Shalene Woodley his ax is
coming out with a new brand ofhomemade deodorants. I don't you know,
she like makes her toothpaste from likedirt and leaves and stuff. Maybe it's

(01:53:47):
uh, she's maybe it got pickedup at Kroger or something. Anybody watched
Kevin Spacey on Piers Morgan. No, Kevin Spacey is not doing well.
A couple of weeks ago that hehas to sell his house in Baltimore.
He's been living in Baltimore for awhile. Imagine you're such a big start,
and then you fought so far thatyou have to sell your house in

(01:54:09):
Baltimore. Well he bought it forthey shot House of Cards in Baltimore,
so he was like yeah. Ithought he was just like no, that's
all. Yeah. Yeah, KevinSpacey sells his Buria, Ohio home.
I have a feeling his house isin a nice neighborhood there in Baltimore,
but he is financially in really badshape. Now. My understanding, by

(01:54:31):
the way, is that all ofthese lawsuits against Kevin Spacey led to nothing,
Like I don't think there was onewhere he was found guilty. Was
he? Maybe they were. Ijust said, I just googled, was
Kevin Spacey found guilty? Okay?Was? He says he's acquitted right Wednesday
of this is twenty twenty three.Actually yeah, last year. Yeah,

(01:54:55):
because I know there were some notfound guilty. He's acquitted of sexually assaulting
foreman. So right, guilty becausethere were a couple of cases in the
UK, then there were a coupleof cases over here, and then people
seem to keep kind of the woodwork. Listen, Kevin Spacey back in the
day was clearly doing something that maybehe shouldn't have been doing clear of all
charges, Clear of all charges.Okay, Well, anyway, it's it's

(01:55:15):
he. He can't get movie roles. That's why I find that the Kevin
Spacey situation so strange. That therehave been other people in similar situations and
they come back, and maybe hewill. I don't know. Maybe there
just wasn't enough good will for him. I like Kevin Spacey a lot like
who though, who has been inhis situation where they've been accused of sexually

(01:55:36):
assaulting minors and come back from it. Well, if they were acquitted,
there are a lot of people thatwant to quit who. Uh, Oh,
isn't this what happened to Uh?Wasn't this the Trevor Bauer situation?
Trevor Bower and Kevin Spacey is notthe same thing. I didn't say they
were. I said their cases aresimilar, right, But I'm saying on

(01:55:57):
a Hollywood level, there's not beensomeone at Kevin Spacey's level who's been accused
of this that's come back. Itdoesn't happen. Okay, Well, who
hasn't come back? I mean,I don't know enough about. All I'm
saying is if he was acquitted lastyear, and he's had a cobble together

(01:56:17):
like he did like a movie inItaly a year ago or something, and
he's you know, they cut himout of the last movie he did and
reshot it with a new actor,not even someone as big as Kevin Spacey,
but Danny Masterson. Like he's yeah, because they found him guilty.
They guilty of rape. That's whatI'm saying. Anybody who's found guilty is
going to go away. Kevin Spaceywas acquitted. I mean, he wasn't

(01:56:43):
acquitted of murder like Oj was,but I don't know anyway. He's on
Peis Morgan, he's crying because hedidn't no House Weinstein. Well, they
just overturned the Weinstein thing. RKelly found guilty. That's true. Yeah,
but uh yeah, people are Idon't know why people are dunking on

(01:57:04):
Kevin space You know why, becauseI don't think a lot of people know
he was acquitted. I think there'sprobably who think that Kevin Spacey's some kind
of perv and they're not really payingattention to it. So then he shows
up with Cosby acquitted. I knowhe went to jail, but didn't he
get it? Do you get out? They overturned it. Okay, so
I appealed it. Yeah, theyappealed like ninety but again but his got

(01:57:27):
overturned on a technicality. The juryfound him guilty of what they said he
did, it just got overturned ona technicality. And you know, cosby
that guy, if you have himon your celebrity death pool, you're probably
in pretty good shape. Where didyou live? No, Well, it's

(01:57:53):
funny you asked that question because thisweek, where I have been living in
Baltimore is being foreclosed on. Myhouse is being sold at auction, really,
so I have to go back toBaltimore and put all my things in
storage. So the answer to thatquestion is, I'm not quite sure where

(01:58:13):
I'm going to live now. ButI've been in Baltimore for since we started
shooting House of Cards there, Sohow long is that? I moved there
in twenty twelve, So you've it'sbeen your hundred and twelve years. Well,
not this particular place, but thisplace has been my home and Evan
and Lucy's home since twenty sixteen.Why is it being full closed because I

(01:58:35):
can't pay the bills that I owe? Are you going to know? You
facing bankruptcy? Been a couple oftimes when I thought I was going to
file, but we've managed to sortof dodge it, at least as of

(01:58:58):
today. How much money do youhave? None? Really well, I
mean you know you have some senseof legal bills. Yeah, I still
owe a lot of legal bills.Yes, do you want me asking you

(01:59:19):
how much you are? It's uh, it's considerable millions, many millions.
Yes, the house itself is manymillions. What are you gonna do?
Get back on the horse, Getback on the horse, back on the

(01:59:44):
horse for Kevin Spacey. Okay.I don't know why I find that situation
so interesting, because I think partof it is that people think that if
you're rich and famous, I meanagain, you don't become unfamous, but
you can get unrich real quick.And I think people are like, oh
boo, who he's got plenty ofmoney. Got don't have plenty of money.
This is okay. I'm not sayingthat he's lying, but he's a

(02:00:10):
great actor. It's hard for me. No, no, no, but
this is me. But this isall I'm saying. A jury acquitted him,
right, No you no, no, I'm not saying about that.
I'm saying about having no money.I'm saying that these actor this is literally
what he has been paid to dofor fifty years. But he's also been

(02:00:30):
doing these lawsuits for like four orfive years. And if you have you're
paying the best lawyers you can toget you out of this stuff. And
it just piles up and piles up. But every time I see an actor
cry, it's hard for me tobuy because I'm like, you do this
so many times to make money,How do I know that this one is

(02:00:54):
real? Yeah? But I'm notgoing to hold it against somebody because they're
an actor by profession that they don'thave any genuine emotions. But it's their
job to manipulate yours. Right.But he's not at work. He's on
Pures Morgan, but he could thisis gonna make people more sympathetic. He's
not getting paid to it, right, Okay, but he's not asking people

(02:01:15):
for money. But he wants tobe. But if he wants to be
in the news as a SOB story, he wants to work and he wants
to be all to work. Heneed want to work too. If he's
going to be able to work,he needs people that are going to be
like, oh, we need totalk about this, you can get the
story out there. I'm kind ofwith Mary. That's why. That's why
all these like there have been ahandful of high profile people who have come

(02:01:38):
to his defense. There's Liam Neesonand Sharon Stone, all these other people
are like, hey, he wonhis cases. Let's let's get Kevin Spacey
back in Hollywood. Listen, Icry all time, right so when I
cry on the show, it's notas big of a deal. People are
going to expect me to cry.If Alan, if you were to cry
on the show, that would bea huge deal. I on the show,
but not as often as I do. Right, Well, nobody cries

(02:02:00):
on the show. I know it'sa I have a record for it.
My point is is that when yousee actors manipulate their emotions to such a
believable level, I know what you'resaying. I just I'm not hard sometimes
to buy understood. I'm just saying, just because someone's an actor doesn't mean

(02:02:20):
that they're constantly trying to manipulate people'semotions. She's not saying that, well,
the situations when he would need toYeah, she's not saying this isn't
genuine. She's just saying it's hardfor her to believe because we know he
has the ability to go on this. Well okay, well, well then

(02:02:40):
let me back up. What isthe hard part to believe that he's broken?
No, No, not the hardI believe that he's broke. But
what I'm saying is is that thereis a certain part of me that's like
Kevin Spacey is a very, verygifted actor. He has cried or made
himself feel like this for much lessat risk, right, But to d
out here he's trying to get workto put his name back in the meeting,

(02:03:02):
right, That's why he's doing Hehas this a big emotional breakdown.
But my point is that actors aretrained to have big emotional breakdowns, So
how do you know when it's realand when it's done. Well, there
are a lot of people who aren'ttrained who have big emotional breakdown. Those
mean more. I don't know aboutthat. That just means you can't control
your emotions, not at all.Of course, I don't believe. No,

(02:03:24):
I don't believe that because if this, if one of us were to
be in this situation, and ifyou're about to lose your house and your
kids are about to be you know, Nora doesn't have a place to live
and you can't pay for your electricity, and you're getting upset and crying about
it. I would take that muchmore seriously than someone who has a forty
or fifty year acting career crying.Yeah, but people don't know how how

(02:03:45):
what I'm trained in? Are youtrained in crying? I'm not trained in
this. I've been doing this forthirty two years. Then I don't know
what I'm trained in. They onlyknow what I tell him. Okay,
that's not a good argument. No, No, it's a great I know
what you I know what you're saying. I'm just saying, yeah, Pures
Morgan is having Kevin Spacey on becauseKevin Spacey is trying to get work right

(02:04:05):
and say, that's exactly what I'msaying, the best way to get work.
He had. He had a secondthere where he was kind of crying
and then he kind of righted himself. So that doesn't seem disingenuous to me.
I sawd like he was weeping thewhole way through, because he's a
good actor. If he were weepingthe whole way through, he'd be over

(02:04:27):
selling it. You're saying he knowsjust how much to sell it. I
mean, dude, he's I wouldsay, one of the best actors of
all time. Right well, he'strying to get the word back out there.
Definitely generation two time Academy Award winner. And that's what I'm saying.
So if there's anyone who knows,how should I play this role? I
mean, if you remember him inthe movie k Packs, you know how,

(02:04:51):
or he was in mental hospital,he was eating bananas backwards. Listen,
you could be one hundred percent correct. I'm just saying, And I'm
not gonna blanketly impune actors just becausethey're trained in a way and then go,
well, I don't know, theydo that for a living. It's
harder for me to take their emotionsseriously as one of the most emotional people

(02:05:12):
on the planet, all right.I mean, they didn't believe Amber heard
because she was terrible. That workedagainst her. We have a but that's
what people said. They go,she's a terrible actress and you could see
it from the bench right on previousmovie. That's assuming she was acting.
And this is what I'm saying.People default immediately too, Well, they're

(02:05:35):
an actor, and so that's reallyif you are an actor and you're in
some kind of litigation that really putsyou at an unfair disadvantage, People go,
oh, well an actor, theydid they did it to Stormy Daniels.
That jury still found Trump guilty onall thirty four counts. Miss Daniels,

(02:05:56):
you're paid to pretend to like,so I don't know you a little
different. Well, they're all actors, She's okay. Your corn acting is
harder than regular acting. Is yougot to pretend you're having a great time.
Stormy Daniels and Kevin Spacey are thesame. Slide what you're saying,
sliding doors man, I'm saying,if your blanket statement is actors are trained

(02:06:18):
and therefore harder to believe. Ifthey are genuinely showing emotion, they are
both actors. If you put herin a bedroom scene, I would question
her orgasms. If I were hookingup with there, I'd be like,
is this real? Or is thiswhat you're trained to do? All right,
well, then it's not Kevin Spacey'sfault that he's not jizzing under the
table at the Piers Morgan Show.But I'm saying that's a sound. They're

(02:06:39):
all actors to fake. What's harderto face. No, it's easier to
fake. Oh I'm done. No, if you're If you're, if you've
got visual confirmation. Yeah. Andagain I'm not saying that he is lying.
I'm just saying that when I seeactors do this, it is it's

(02:07:00):
harder for just a little bit.And I'm not saying I don't buy it.
I'm not saying I don't your ownmoney. It just hits me the
wrong way. It did not occurto me. Oh, maybe he's acting.
That's the first thing. Every timeI see an actor do an apology
have a very emotional moment, I'malways like, yeah, but how do
I know this is real? Yeah? I guess I'm thinking of it as

(02:07:23):
the timeline too. The apology usuallycomes at the very beginning of getting into
trouble for something. But I alsothink that no matter who you are,
whether you're trained or not, ifyou're in a white hot spotlight like something
like that, you're gonna have anybodywho's gonna have genuine emotions about it.
It's a okay, it's a whitehot spotlight, but this guy's been in

(02:07:44):
white hot spotlight's his whole lie,right, But not for feeling up teenagers.
I mean that's different than walking thered carpet, you know what I'm
saying. I mean, it's onething to talk to Billy Bush and go
I can't what an amazing night tonightis, you know, and then being
on this this guy has been incourt for four years telling the same stories
over and over again. I mean, you know, I don't know you

(02:08:07):
could be right. I mean,I just wouldn't. I guess my brain
doesn't go there. Oh, maybethis guy's acting any It doesn't even have
to be fully acting. His emotionscould be real. But if anyone knows
how to enhance them and make thepublic feel bad for them, who's it
going to be. Is it goingto be an actor who has done that
four years and years and years andis incredibly talented about it, or your

(02:08:28):
regular Joe Schmoe. You know That'show I ended up sending so much money
to Alex Jones because he genuine crying. Yeah, he cries almost as much,
if not more than Mary. HeHe got me every single time Kevin
Spacey was being interviewed on camera,so he was working. I mean,

(02:08:52):
are people paid to do that show? It doesn't matter if you're paid or
not. He had the baby reindeerlady on it. Well, no,
that's what I'm saying. If hewas paid, then it was, and
he wasn't, then he wasn't working. Well, no, you can be
working for I mean work for Speakfor yourself, Homie. Back at the
beginning. I don't get out ofbed for less than ten thousand dollars.
Man, we all know none ofus, mister throws away, none of

(02:09:15):
us are working for exposure at thispoint. That ain't working. That's the
way you do it. If you'remoney for nothing in your chicks for free,
if you're on the brink of beingblackballed for the rest of your career,
you won't get racist. I'm justsaying, are you talking about the
Stormy Daniels again? Yes, actorsare people and humans that can show the

(02:09:37):
same emotions. Somebody texted that's great. That's all I'm saying. I get
it. I think more than anything, he's trying to get the word out
there. I'm broke. I justwant to go back to work. So
are you trying to make us alluncomfortable? God's right? Cool, And
there's plenty more where that came from. Back to the Alan God Show on

(02:09:58):
one hundred points up in wm MS. Well, I'll tell you what.

(02:10:20):
You can keep your Drake and Kendrick. You can keep your Drake and Kendrick
Lamar beef. I think that's largelyover now anyway. But I will see

(02:10:41):
your Drake and Kendrick Lamar beef,and I will raise you. Jerry and
Elaine. Yeah, I just sawthis. I wanted to try and squeeze
it in to the Perez Bilton Prestonbut now they're not beefing in real life.
But I mean the two different publicstatements. I mean, Jerry Seinfeld

(02:11:01):
was taking some heat because he wascomplaining about you know, left wing cancel
culture and blah blah blah. AndJulia Louis Dreyfus was giving an interview and
she said, I think it's ared flag when comedians complain about political correctness,
because being aware of certain sensitivities,he is not a bad thing.
She said, I don't know howelse to say it. Julia Louis Dreyfus

(02:11:24):
has of course always been a verypublicly progressive person, and she says,
I just don't buy the idea thatpolitically political correctness is a threat to comedy.
But even Jerry has kind of alludedto that too. Everybody laser focused
on that comment. But his thinghas always been, wherever you move the
gates, we're going to get throughthe gates. So you have to be

(02:11:46):
nimble enough that wherever culture's moving,you're going to find something that's funny and
you're going to do it. Butthere's a lot of these, a lot
of comics who are talking about likethey just they won't do colleges anymore,
things like that. And so obviouslythe two of these, you know,
the two of them are not arguingat each other, but uh, publicly

(02:12:09):
they're differing statements contrast each other.I think there's a middle ground. I
mean, should you not care atall about offending people? No, I
think you should, like you know, have a little sense of where you
are and you know things you shouldand shouldn't say. But then there are
also like I'll tell you, whenI came to Brooklyn, I was like,

(02:12:33):
man, I might be a Republicancrazy. This is insane, but
that's but but that's that's a veryuh it's a bubble, yes, yeah,
but there I mean then those arethose bubbles are typically the people keyboard
warrioring to cancel people. Right,it's not your moderates that are out here
like moda lock Wait say it?You know well? To me, it

(02:12:58):
always it always. I don't Iassume that by red flag she means the
limitations on an artist, and notevery comedian is as funny as some other
people, or not everybody can articulatethose thoughts in a humorous way. And

(02:13:20):
so there are some people who they'vegotten themselves really big audiences by really leaning
into well, I'm not going tolet anybody tell me what to say,
which is fine, I mean,if that's the road you want to go
down. But I think there's somethingto be said for being nimble enough and
creative enough to get around it.Wherever things are going to go, I'll

(02:13:41):
still get there. So that's thewhole point of it, Because how long
have people been complaining about political correctnessdecades? I mean in the eighties they
were like you'd hear comedians, I'mtired of this PC crawd. They want
to use our water fountains. Theywant to maybe not that far back,
I was called something other than politicalcorrectness, but it's still like there's a

(02:14:05):
there's there's always a version. There'sa version of it. Yeah, and
there's there and there's people like Idon't see why these things need to change
with with that stuff. Progress isgood. I like progress. So when
the you know, goalposts get movedon things that we're not supposed to talk
about, you gotta you know,you like you don't like to call it

(02:14:28):
punching down Alan, but oh yeah, I'm not. I don't buy But
I think of like, are youtrying to belittle people that are struggling or
are you trying to take shots atpeople in power? And I'm always gonna
want to take shots at people inpower more than stop on somebody that's having
a hard time, right, ButI mean, I don't even think that's

(02:14:50):
the same thing that we're talking about. Thought a lot of it, A
lot of those conversations get lumped inwith those because people like, oh,
I can't make jokes about trans people. Well, you can make a joke
about trans people, but uh,when you are completely dismissing their existence.
There there's a difference between hate andcomedy. The people who end up getting

(02:15:13):
in trouble are the people who aren'tvery creative anyway. Wells this is weird
well, and again yeah, justcomes down to some lazy writing a lot
of times. Yeah, if youdon't that's what I'm saying, if you
don't have the nimble mind and theagility of thought. You know. I
had a lot of drive in thisweekend going back and forth to see my
family, and I was listening toa lot of Anthony Jesseelnick, who I

(02:15:37):
think is a very very funny andcreative guy. I've never really done a
deep dive into his stuff, butthat's a guy who is does very dark
comedy and he says people for it. Se it's a tone people love it,
kind of like Tosh jessel Nicks likeTosh, but tash More has like
more of a smirk to him,or ass is a little more conversational,

(02:15:58):
yeah, whereas jessel Nick is veryvery direct and it's not like he's not
really telling stories. It's a lotof two liners, which I love.
Oh they're great, but but that'sa guy where nobody's like, oh my
god, they're laughing despite themselves.Well they and they go in expecting it
in a way because he's but Imean, tone, even going back to

(02:16:20):
like clubs, he didn't you know, they know that now, but everybody
starts somewhere and they don't always knowthat, and you've got to figure out
a way. These people don't knowwhat I'm doing, but I'm gonna make
them laugh and and that's part ofthe fun is And that's why you know,
a lot of comics don't want youfilming their sense or anything, because

(02:16:41):
you can make those missteps on away to a very funny joke, because
you're trying to figure out exactly howto dance between those rain drops. All
and for people who think that,you know, you said I like progress,
and I do too, but thereare people who don't see what's happening
as progress. And that's another thingaltogether, people who think that we are

(02:17:05):
regressing to some degree or whatever.But my thought is always you wouldn't find
a single performer who was any goodwho would go back and watch themselves do
and I don't mean just comedians,but any performer. Have them look at
some of their stuff from twenty fivethirty years ago. They're all going to
WinCE, are they going to cringe? Well? Yeah, and something changes.

(02:17:26):
Well that's what I'm saying. Sothat to me means that this isn't
some special moment in time where everybody'soverly sensitive stuff changes. Now, it's
just the loudest time, that's all. It's just the people who are overly
sensitive have more of an outlet forit. These people have always existed.
The people who want to be offendedhave always existed. They just haven't always

(02:17:48):
had fourteen different forms of social mediato tell you about it and being connected
to one another across the world inknowing how to weaponize that right. Jerry
Seinfeld is also not a guy whois concerned about getting a new audience.
He's not a guy who is like, well, let's see what I can

(02:18:13):
do over here. Wait, thatpop Tar movie wasn't made for gen Z.
Well, I mean I haven't.I haven't finished it, but I
uh it was. You didn't likeit at all. I appreciated it for
what it was supposed to be.And but again I haven't finished it.

(02:18:33):
But yeah, so any but again, Julia Louis Dreyfus, this woman could
sit on a stool and read theyou know, the encyclopedia, and I
would pay to see it. Shecan do no wrong as far as I'm
concerned. But you know, sheand she wasn't. They weren't talking to
her about, you know, Seinfeld'scomments. But she's like, I have

(02:18:56):
very different thoughts on that kind ofthing. Political correctness insofar as it equates
to tolerance is obviously fantastic, andof course I reserve the right to boo
anyone who says anything that defends me, while as respecting their right the free
speech. Boom, oh, that'sgreat, just an old school boo earns.

(02:19:16):
Uh huh. Well, and that'slike a lot of sing bourns.
I was saying balloons a lot ofHow I try to just frame it is
there's somebody out there that you willenjoy. And you know, Mary and
I get this all the time whenwe're posting stand up clips and people like,

(02:19:37):
oh, I don't like you.But it's the same people always say,
so it's like, what do youdo? Why are you doing that?
Why do you like to come andwatch my videos? And then say
I don't like like It's just it'svery confusing to me that there's people that
don't like what someone does and thenjust keep consuming it. But you want

(02:20:00):
to talk about bands, Mary,He said there was a band playing the
Strawberry Festival. There was a bandat on Sunday. Two spots on Saturday,
and then Sunday we were at Dano'sLakeside Pub, and I had never
been. I'm getting all I canhandle of Portage Lakes all month long,
and you just pour it right intome, because you know, I like
getting out there and hanging out withpeople or whatever, and so these places

(02:20:24):
are great. The weather was awesome, whatever. But the Dano's thing was
we had our tent set up andwe were doing our thing. We're trying
to get people this trip to Hawaii. But then they had other things going
on, like there were people setup like they were selling jewelry or something.
And then there was a band thathad been setting up and so like
the last half hour of my gig, this band starts playing and it was

(02:20:46):
almost solid Doobie Brothers covers, whichis not going to make me mad,
Oh yeah, but I was.It was a female singer. I don't
know the name of the band,and then they were all they all looked
like they were probably you know,early sixties or it's like a bar band,
and they're doing a good job.But then they started mixing it up
and I was like, oh,I thought it was a Doobey for a

(02:21:07):
second. But who likes the DoobieBrothers because we got one of them?
Yeah, oh, what did theydo? They did taking it to the
streets. I think they did takingit to the streets. You're like classic,
Now there is a demarcation line.Some people like old Doobies, you
know, they like Jesus is justall right and I'm your captain, and

(02:21:30):
other people like Michael McDonald, MichaelMcDonald taking it to the streets and yeah,
but that's not for everybody. Theonly even frame of reference I have
for that is forty year old Virginwhen he's like, if you don't take
this Michael McDonald DVD, that youYeah, I'm killing the story, right.

(02:21:52):
But that was Michael McDonald's solo Yamobithere with James Ingram. Yeah,
of course. Michael McDonald got hisstar as Jack Sparrows, background singer for
the band Steely Dan. He's doingbackground on peg and Bad Sneakers and all
kinds of great songs. What wasthe sc t V sketch? Okay,

(02:22:16):
we're Miranas walks in but he's likehe's like doing a bunch of us gotta
be right back. Uh huh.He's talking to him and Michael McDonald.
What really goes on in an overdub session there with Michael McDonald's Yeah,
Morana's just has like a beard anda thing on and on the Jerry Todd

(02:22:37):
Show. On the Jerry Todd Show, that's all like the wind. Christopher
Crossing sings the one line, thenhe runs out. They get the yeah,

(02:22:58):
get that, got it, nailedit and nailed it. Oh you
gotta get back in there, allright, thumbs up, great job,
Mike. It's gonna be me tomorrowat the pool before work. Go down
there. You're going to pool beforework. I'm going to because it's open.

(02:23:22):
Baller moved dude, a few lapsin, Wow, some got rock
and just enjoy myself. Oh it'sfinally open. It hadn't It wasn't open
this weekend. No, it's still. That's why he was going out so
much. There was nothing to doat home because this No, this weekend
was the perfect pool weekend. Reallywas still that? I disagree? Oh

(02:23:43):
really I was home this weekend.It wasn't it was like seventy like like
it was it was really if II mean over seventy five seventy five is
like minimum for pool was it itfelt hot on Saturday? I mean there
were so many boats out and huh, all right now, it was like
Saturday was like maybe it was hotterin Portage Lakes where I was. It

(02:24:05):
might have been right on the laketake seventy five to seventy seven on Saturday,
but Sunday was not Sunday. Sundaywas cold. Yeah. Yeah,
I didn't really go outside on Saturday. So for me, like perfect if
I want it was gonna be amid eighties is like perfect pool weather for

(02:24:26):
me. Eighty two eighty three.It needs to be hot. Anything hotter
than that is too hot. Anythingabove seventy five to eighty five, that's
that's water weather. Eighty four andsunny on Thursday, that's perfect. That's
what you want. I'm hit thatnext time. He's like being able to
go in the pool before I headinto work, because it's just like a
night. It's like, rather thango on a walk, you just go

(02:24:48):
from a few laps. Sure,well, next week it's all gonna be
all week long. Next week it'supper eighties. Let's go nineties here,
dude ninety four and my sister andnephew and niece are visiting and one hundred
percent he and I'm like, Ialmost don't even know what to tell them
to do because I'm like, bro, let's see when they're here. They
get in Monday, they leave Friday, eighty two, eighty seven, eighty

(02:25:09):
nine, eighty eight. I'm like, eighty eight degrees and one hundred percent
humidity. You can't be walking aroundall day and night. And there's not
really a lot of non walking aroundthings to do for a tourist in New
York. You know, be like, dude, it's our The public pools
here don't open until the twenty fourthof June, so I can't even like
post up with the pool. It'stoo hot for an activity. What So,

(02:25:35):
Bill, is it just you solotomorrow? Are you gonna have?
OK? Grandma might be down there. I haven't coordinated with her, but
she might be. All right,Yeah, it's popped down there. Well,
maybe get something going this weekend.I got to go to upstate New
York Friday. No, not Friday, Saturday. Oh yeah, you're going
to Salamanca. The hell is Salamonca. It's south of Buffalo and just right

(02:26:00):
over the PA border. There's auh yeah, he's doing a gig and
I'm backing Portage Lakes on Saturday,Alan Mary ask Kurry if actors are worse
liars than magicians, depends it depends. You get mad at actors for lying
to you. I don't trust themin real life. I've never had a

(02:26:24):
conversation with an actor and been like, I bet that was the truth.
You know, they're hard to trust. You spend your whole life being like,
watch me do everything except be myself. Yeah, you know what I
mean. So I don't even knowwho you are. Who are you?
I don't think I could ever bein a relationship with an actor, definitely

(02:26:45):
not a magician. Hmm all right, well, uh, you aspiring thespians,
check Mary Santora off your list,because listen, I already have my
rat snack man. I don't needdevotion accuracy. I'm Your Captain was Grand

(02:27:05):
Funk Railroad. I'm sorry. Iwas thinking of The Captain and Me,
which was a Doobie Brothers album.But I'm Your Captain is Grand Fund.
I don't know the names of anyof these songs. I just know they
come on when I'm in the pool, they come on. Yeah, yep,
I just got that playlist going mmhmmm. True. He's got a
great voice. Michael McDonald, boyis a very very unique voice. There's

(02:27:30):
a guy that used to do thisbit called the most Dangerous He called it
the most Dangerous joke or something.And he would stuff marshmallows in his cheeks
to sound more like Michael McDonald ashe would uh perform it, Yeah,
and it would just get and itwould actually make him sound more and more
like it. And it was veryfunny. And then at the very end

(02:27:50):
he spits all the marshmallows into abrown paper bag, signs it and hands
it to somebody and they have spatout. Nobody knows that. And Grand
Funk, the wild shirtlest lyrics ofMark Farner, the bong rattling bass of
melt Shocker, the competent drum workof Don Brewer oh Man, the competent

(02:28:13):
trum work of Don Brewer. Ithought he said confidence the competent. I
think that was a backhanded compliment.Last time I saw Grand Funk, they
were opening the Seeger Farewell tour.Because Grand Funk, of course from Flint,
Michigan, and Bob Seger from Detroit, Michigan. Our phone operators are
standing by with their thumbs up theirasses waiting for you to call so cool

(02:28:37):
call the Alan Cox Show two onesix, five, seven eight one double
oh seven or one eight three foureighty one double oh seven on the Michael
McDonald Tip. A handful of peopletexting me in the break and they're like,

(02:28:58):
don't forget when he sang the kidneyNow song and thirty rock, remember
that way they had. They weretrying to get a kidney. I think
it was for one of Jack Donneghe'sfriends. So they had like a we
are the world, but it wasfor this dude's kidney. It was Sheryl
Crowe and Mary J. Blige andElvis Costello and Clay Aiken, remember him

(02:29:20):
and Clay Aikin was a thing andMichael McDonald was part of it. This
country has six son renew kney andwe ran about three kidney Milton Green.

(02:29:46):
They're Cindey Laupper, by the way, who is doing her farewell tour that's
coming to Cleveland. Don't care aboutSidney Lauper married in like that eighties stuff.
She didn't care. But Sidney Laupperis she'll be seven one in a
couple of weeks. Her birthday's rightbefore mine, and she's like, it's

(02:30:07):
time to it's time to be done. I think she's got something too,
doesn't she. I saw her.I saw her in a commercial, like
a celebrity commercial for one of thoseprescription drugs, and so she got something.
I might be thinking of somebody else. She's so crazy, the way

(02:30:31):
she spells her name, she's sounusual. No, she's on. She's
got psoriasis. Debbie Gibson is theone I was thinking of because Marty has
a joke He says, uh aboutWi Gibson having having laden disease. Yeah,
what's the joke. That's the wholestory. The whole thing is Debbie

(02:30:54):
Gibson's lame disease. Uh, hesays, uh. I remember how it
goes something about like I just can'tshake you or whatever her song was,
take your love, I can't shakeyour says, and now now she sings,
I just can't shake lime disease.Just like, guys know, Debbie
Gibson has lime disease. Hey,just so you guys know, well,

(02:31:18):
Uh, yeah, a city lapera. I saw her in the cocentics ads
for psoriasis. That's a skin condition. Yeah, that's what Cody has.
No, he has ema. It'slike an autoimmune disease. I thought they
both were. I thought he hadAMA. No, he had csoriasis.

(02:31:41):
Well that's how much ancient history heis to me now, Bill, Okay,
so I'm watching this little blurb.Uh. This guy and his fiance
in Utah were moving into a newplace the day before their wedding and they
just needed to get their mattress there, so they tossed it in the truck

(02:32:03):
and the guy told his fiance,Hey, just we need to weigh this
down. You know, a mattresscan just become like a sail if it
goes. And he told her tosit on it to weigh it down,
and he gets going about fifty milesan hour. She bounces out of the
truck and onto the highway because thetruck's going so fast. I'm like,

(02:32:24):
wouldn't you have her drive the truckif you were a gentleman? Why is
your girl back there on the mattress. No, girls can't drive truck sailing.
You know better than that. Wesee a lot of girls drive trucks.
No, no, no, no, huh. Wasn't really thinking,
just was thinking of the fastest possibleway to get the mattress from A to
B, which just happened to bethrowing the mattress in the back and putting

(02:32:46):
liddy on top. That sounds great, I'll just hold the mattress down in
the back of the truck. Iremember the whole thing other than landing.
I flew out, just screaming.And then I remember just rolling on the
street. I'm looking in my rooviewmirror and I see my fiance rolling away
from me. First thought was thatshe had died a yeah, and it

(02:33:09):
really come and support both of usin the time that we needed in.
Yeah. This guy, he washis plan was foiled. He's like,
oh my god, I only haveone day left. Hurry, I have
a day. This is the daybefore the wedding. Yeah. She rolled
across the road, falls out ofthe truck. First of all, have
you never ever moved anything before?Like you at least have something to hang

(02:33:31):
on to, like you loop abungee cord through a something, so you're
not bouncing out of the flatbed.She got a chip, tooth, scrapes
and some road rash. Could havebeen worse lucky, Yeah, yeah,
it could have been way worse.But I swear to got My first thought
was he's a girlfriend, must bebig, because why would you have your
girl sit back? It didn't makeany sense to me. I'd be like,

(02:33:54):
you drive, I'll sit in themattress. She got jacked up,
dead, you're still out there allthis equality, you can vote. You
want to be able to get abortions. Then he'd sit on the match.
You want to get an abortion,go sit on that mattress. You want
a pregnant But if she was pregnant, she wouldn't be now, yeah,

(02:34:18):
depending on how she landed. Well, she's she's okay, but she got
jacked up the day before. Theway i'd be pregnate. How do I
know if I'm pregan? What isthe best time to sex to become pregnant?
Right now? Well, it's utahright. They probably have no They

(02:34:39):
probably have no information whatsoever about cohabiting. They were transporting the king size mattress
from Provo to their new home,although they weren't real smart about it.
Alex and Lydia Kessinger sound young.They are young. Here's a photo of
them. There's her and this guywith this dopey look on his face.

(02:35:05):
It's like this old, some oldJANKI truck. Right if you're one of
those, like my girl can't drivea truck. We're not talking like a
nineteen seventy nine pickup. I meantrucks today are like freaking luxury vehicles because
they sell so many of them.They're like, oh, we need people
who want to be Johnny big Ballsin a truck, but who also want
to be super comfy. So that'swhat trucks are now. So she's in

(02:35:26):
one of those, have her drivesit in the back, because man,
I would not feel good if myfiance had a chip tooth. I feel
like a real jag off the daybefore the wedding, because then you're gonna
kiss her and you're gonna cut yourtongue on her tooth. And that's facking
out in front of the whole congregation. You've never been married, you don't

(02:35:50):
know how you kiss when you getmarried. I've bitten to a lot of
wings. I've never seen anyone justopen once. People seeing anyone make out
at a wedding, it's not makingout to give someone the tongue. I've
seen people like I laid one onGwen. We got married. What I
would be uncomfortable with that. It'snot a prolonged session. But you can

(02:36:13):
still kiss someone with your tongue andnot make it a makeout session. Oh
about that? So you invite allthese people to witness a proclamation of your
love and then you give them whata peck? No, not a peck,
but like a passionate kiss. Yes, that's what I'm talking about.
You. How do you passionately kisssomeone closed mouth? I can't. No,

(02:36:37):
you're gonna You're gonna have to teachme this a passionate kiss, closed
mouth. This is not a teachinglibrary. I cannot teach you everything.
Huh. All right, well,I don't know what that happened. I
don't know what the hell you're doing. I'm getting married. Anybody who's at
the wedding knows. I've put itin this woman. A handful of the

(02:37:01):
parents are there, and the familybefore you were married. By the way,
all those all those people at thoseweddings, most of them are married.
No, huh, Well, Iam completely unfamiliar with the passionate closed
lip kiss. I'll tell you oneof the speaking of witch. When we
were at the ramp on Saturday,portage legs I was looking over their menu

(02:37:26):
because it was just right there.I wasn't feeling peckish or anything, but
I look at the menu and oneof the items they had was a frenched
pork sandwich. Yeah, and Ididn't know what that meant. I was
like, Man, does it likethe way to do that when she serves
it? Or I I'd never heardof that before I proposed. I guess,

(02:37:50):
so, yeah, that's merry whenshe gets married. So I don't
French a rack of pork. AFrench cut rack is simply a clean cut
of pork chops or a Cartilageit fatbetween the tips had been removed for a
nice looking presentation. Somebody brought aton of barbecue heres, like a cookout

(02:38:11):
out Sweet Pork Wilson. That's thename of the place. Oh, I
thought that was a blue singer orsomething. Yeah. Yeah, I was
putting together over the weekend. Iwas putting together a new swing set for
my daughter. We used to havethis big when she was little little.

(02:38:35):
We had this big like playhouse witha slide and swings and stuff. And
I tore it all down last falland we just set up like a swing
set, like a simple swing setwith some swings, and I'm going through
the directions putting it together, andshe's sitting there on the lawn next to
me, and she's like, whatare you looking for? And I said,
your childhood. The piece, Isaid, the piece I was looking

(02:38:58):
for was called extent. You know, they all they're all they all have
numbers attached to them, so likethis extension, this pipe is C two
C one. I said, I'mlooking for Extension rod J. And my
daughter goes, that's a great rapname, and I was like, it's
genetic, Homeie. I couldn't havebeen prouder. I'm always throwing out these
dumb band names just from random phrases. And when I said Extension rod J,

(02:39:22):
she knew. She goes, that'sa good rap name. And I
was just like, so yes,I did cry, that's right. I
was clean. I'm here. I'mhere to say I miss that kind of
rap. I always want to sneakers, well just what they were here to
say. I just yeah, youcan say all the same things you're saying,
but I just want you to announcewho you are and what you're here

(02:39:43):
to say. And it's otherwise I'mnot going to know who you are.
Yeah, yep, my name isblank, and I'm here to say my
grandmaster flash. It's a nice format, yeah, because you go, who
is this person? And they putyou at ease? Yeah, what are

(02:40:05):
you here to do? Because otherwiseI don't know what you're here to do?
Are you here to cause trouble?Not a trouble maker? Check it
out on the CASA N the OVAand the rest is fl y big bank,
hank back in the day, Frenchpork sandwich Allen. Also, don't

(02:40:35):
drive at fifty miles per hour withsome riding in the bed of your truck.
Yeah that too. Yeah, Idon't know who this guy is.
This is what I'm talking about.There's a lot of a lot of people
driving trucks that probably shouldn't be drivingtrucks, or at least haven't really thought
about it. Why would he killI before the wedding? Though that you
don't get any interest one day,not insurance. He's just didn't want to
get married. No, he's like, damn it, honey, are you

(02:40:58):
okay hoping she's going to be?You know, like the the first scene
of it follows and uh, no, chip tooth, a lot of road
rash. Oh god, I lovethis story about the monster truck that went
into the crowd. This is whatI'm talking about. They're completely they are
completely indemnified on the back of thatticket. Whatever happens, you're on your

(02:41:24):
own. There's a monster truck thatwent into the crowd and a bowl from
a rodeo that went into the crust. Yeah that was last week. Yeah,
man, the whole system is breakingdown. This was in Topsham,
Maine. We've got people in Maine. I'm sitting right here by coworker at
St. Mary Lewiston Medical Center wherewe're both phlebotomists. A lobster themed monster

(02:41:46):
truck. You know what it wascalled crush Station. Yeah. That was
one of Brian's only jokes in ourfirst year of of dating, crush Station.
The crush Station was out and theydid a very good job at the
monster truck rally, and he waslike, that's what I call surf and
turf. And it made me laughreally hard because it was like a lobster

(02:42:07):
and you didn't think he was funny. I know, no. It it
clipped the aerial power line and itsent utility polls and a live wire into
the crowd. Man, that's great. I love it. A couple bit
one at the hospital, but nobodyelse, you know, everybody's okay.

(02:42:30):
Some people got some minor injuries.A vehicle dubbed the Crush Station Rush to
Crush Station Station bounced up a rampwhen airborne and hit the power line.
Somebody get me. Video of thisvideo showed people scrambling as the snagline triggered
a cascade of events, with severalutility port polls and a transformer falling near

(02:42:54):
the grand stand. Local reports saidit was Optimist Prime bill Ah Autobots train.
I'm still a little bit shaken up, said Mike Hersham, who was
watching with his three year old son. The promoter of the event did not

(02:43:16):
return an email to the reporters whowere trying to get the details on this
crush station. Oh it's great,Hey, how did you do? You
know, listen, you might goout, you might die doing what you
loved at something like this. Becausewhat's the thing that they have at the
Romo Fiho they got them. It'sMonster Jam Monster Jam where they have El

(02:43:39):
Toro Loco and grave Digger and boneshaker and but this was like this feels
like a local main I mean lobsterbecause it's Maine lobsters. The same guy
came Toda or wherever the frustation did. Yeah, Oh, do you listen
to my talk? No, Ijust told the story about it. I

(02:44:00):
thought you meant that there was likea these guys travel around and do shows
all over the place, and inthe summer, they usually do them at
fairgrounds like this. Well, okay, but that's what I mean is it
wasn't like an arena show or something. This was like a they had like
a little probably racetrack or something,and it's just like it was the county
fairgrounds. It was a big deal. But this one's in like, this

(02:44:24):
is inane. This is it looksexactly like the Madina County Fairground, does
it? Yeah? It's on YouTube. Hm. Bad News Travels Fast.
I like that name. You canget puny all you want maximum destruction,
and but I like bad News TravelsFast because essensibly the truck's moving fast.

(02:44:50):
One now you get it now,Oh, I just got crushed Station Barefoot
b E A R. That's inthe late seventies, though Greg Wickenbach is
a Crush Stations driver. According tothis and a lot of these, depending
on how long they've been around.A lot of them have had a lot
of drivers, like a lot ofpeople have driven Grave Digger and El Toro

(02:45:13):
Loco. The mud Flapper is drivenby a guy named b J. Weenis.
Damn, hey, baby, youwant to come out and I'm going
to be behind the wheel of themud Flapper. Mud Flapper sounds like a
urban dictionary. Well, it didthe glass bottom boat with her on Friday,

(02:45:33):
and then Saturday we did the mudFlapper. Any one of these could
be I guess Captain's curse. Itcan all be positions from urban dictionary.
Did you guys do blue Thunder theother night? We sure I'm all out
of any freeze. Now the backwardsBob he gave me crush stations. And
now I must leave you as theBrady bunch is on and I find four

(02:45:54):
of those children incredibly arousing. Getout of here. Be careful of what
you say, Be careful in everyway, Be careful of what you do.
Big Brother is watching you. Becircumspect and discreet, Stay light on

(02:46:18):
your mental feet. One slip andyou know you're through. Big Brother is
watching you. And all with allnarrative, remember ovidios paid and when you
watch that TV screens, remember itworks both ways. You disappear in a

(02:46:43):
wink. Unless you can double thinkyou'll vanish into the blue. Big Brother
is watching you.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Dateline NBC
Let's Be Clear with Shannen Doherty

Let's Be Clear with Shannen Doherty

Let’s Be Clear… a new podcast from Shannen Doherty. The actress will open up like never before in a live memoir. She will cover everything from her TV and film credits, to her Stage IV cancer battle, friendships, divorces and more. She will share her own personal stories, how she manages the lows all while celebrating the highs, and her hopes and dreams for the future. As Shannen says, it doesn’t matter how many times you fall, it’s about how you get back up. So, LET’S BE CLEAR… this is the truth and nothing but. Join Shannen Doherty each week. Let’s Be Clear, an iHeartRadio podcast.

The Dan Bongino Show

The Dan Bongino Show

He’s a former Secret Service Agent, former NYPD officer, and New York Times best-selling author. Join Dan Bongino each weekday as he tackles the hottest political issues, debunking both liberal and Republican establishment rhetoric.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2024 iHeartMedia, Inc.