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June 14, 2024 154 mins
The Alan Cox Show
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The Federal Communications Commission has determined thefollowing content to be emotionally harmful. Funny
things that you thinks funny aren't funny? Do me? Cox? Bolling?
Time to me? Allen Cox Showkicks aash man. We welcome to me?
What you yeah? I can seea lot of cocks on TV.
Allen Cox from the Allen COXO.I don't know what's about you, but

I can't get sad. It willbe a pretty so let's get that.
You'll get eight with a nasty groove. Okay, one three tickets? Okay,
damn put you one time ticket.Allen Cox. Here we go,
he'll add trying. It's the AllenCox Show on one hundred point seven double

U m m as Hey, what'sgoing on? Everybody? Howdy howdy,

good afternoon. My name is AlanCox. Thanks for being here. I
appreciate it as always. Say hito Bill Squire he's right over there.
Hey creep you hope Mary Santora ishere too. What at And if you'd
like to join us at any pointwhere during the broadcast, we'd love to
have you two one, six,five, seven, eight one double oh

seven if you want to call uslive eight hundred and three four eight one
double O seven three five one two. I want to send me a text,
alancoxshow dot com is pretty good foreverything else. Did you have a
pre show poll? Yeah? Ohyeah. Here's why I love Cleveland.

Here's why you love Cleveland. Here'swhy I love Cleveland. Yeah. There
were kids in the pool and theywere racing, swimming across and they weren't
the new same bolt. They wereswimming the length of the pool, of
the width of the width of thepool in the shallow end, and they're
racing. I'm so proud of thesekids because they were doing hot dog racists.

One was mustard, one was ketchup, one was onion. They had
to they just each decided to takeone of those with them, so yeah,
he was onion. Uh. Andthey were just, you know,
there with their grandparents, just swimmingback and forth racing, Yeah, doing

hot dog races. And I'm justlike, God, damn it, I
love this city now? Does loveit? Does? Mary's contempt for mustard
go so deeply that if you hadbeen there, Mary, you would have
yelled at the kid playing mustard afew mustard, a few mustard. He
I would let him know that heneeds to make better life choices there.

You're not going to reach choose one. These kids that lived in the building
and they were friends of residence,they are grandchildren of resident grandchildren. Okay,
so these are these are like preteenkids. They're probably like yeah,
like between the ages of like sevenand ten. Okay, Now, I
hope that the entire pool wasn't justyou and them. No, their grandparents

were there with them. I don'tknow. I can't just be down there,
mayor they're like supervision. Okay,man, could you keep an eye
on our grand the pool was there'speople just laying out reading books. Oh,
so it was pretty busy. Imean there's probably a total of seven
people down there, right, youknow, but again it was just opened

around a condo pool that can looklike a lot of people. There's only
so many people you can get arounda pool like that. All right,
did you have music blaring? No, I haven't done music, just because
I'm out there like just kind ofI'm just kind of swimming laps back and
forth too, So I'm not outthere like lounge and I'm I'm just enjoying

the pool and the quadrant. Butthat is lounging, isn't it swimming?
Well, yeah, like you getout and you kind of kick it for
a minute, then you get backin the pool. That's all. I
just swim. Oh, just Idon't like to sit outside like I I
know people like to like lay bya pool. No, but what I
mean, even if you're just kickingit in a pool, like up to
your neck, that's lounging, right, I mean you're not doing laps the

whole time I was doing lap.Well, I was only in there for
like half an hour, so hedid like thirty minutes of swimming a little
you know movement. All right,Well, it's eighty three in New York,
so Mary probably felt like she wasin a pool walking to work.
It's gonna you know, it's gonnabe It's gonna be like ninety five next
week in New York. I knowthat heat Dome is heading to the East

coast, so like all parts ofdisgusting. Yeah, there is a very
small park that is not it's concrete, but they have trees, so it's
called the park. It's concrete park. Yeah, it's concrete park. There's
one. It's like a couple ofminutes past my train stop. So it's
like a twenty minute walk from myapartment. But they do yoga every morning

at nine am, where it's likedonation based Monday through Friday, come by
from nine to ten, pay whatyou want kind of thing. And it
just started, like I think twoweeks ago, beginning a jew and it
started. And so I'm like,I've been like, I gotta go,
I gotta go, I gotta go, And every day that my alarm goes
off at eight am, I'm like, absolutely not. I'm not kidding out
of this bed. But I went, I'm not going to Concrete Park just

to do downward facing dog. AndI went today and it was only like
seventy when I left my apartment.Sure, and then by the time I
had like the twenty minute walk withmy bag and my yoga mat and my
water and everything, I was like, I'm already sweating by the time I
got here, and out door yogais all bickram yoga. I don't know
what that like. Hot yoga.Oh yeah, well, it was already's

fudding. And then the spot thatI picked was only in the shade for
like ten minutes of the hour,so I kept moving my mat around and
I was like, I look likea crazy purchase, like trying to get
out of the sun. But itwas God, how many people were show
up or something like that? Todaythere was maybe six or seven. It
wasn't a lot, but I meanit's nine am on a weekday. Yeah,

I'm sure if it were earlier,people might come on a Saturday or
something. Well they have it Saturdayand Sunday too, but in a different
park at noon. So I havea feeling those two are probably that's over
an asphalt park. Yes, that'sjust in a parking lot where they paved
paradise. But it was great.It was hard. I always forget how

hard yoga is. It is.Yeah, I'm so freaking hard, and
I am weak. I am notin shape. Well that's where you're going,
yeah exactly, but like having tohold my own arms up for a
full minute like that, I donot have the shoulder strength. But it
was good. I'm really really gladthat I went. And then I was
like up early, so I stoppedat the grocery store and made a really
healthy breakfast. And you're like,wait, you want me to hold my

arm up here for how long doyou want me to do? That five
breath cycles. Yeah, it's nottime, which is even more frustrating,
where I'm like, how long wegotta do that? Count me down with
seconds? Right, three more breaths? Of course they having me. Well,
outdoor yoga's better because you know,yoga when it's everybody's part, and
when you're indoor, that all justkind of never experienced a yoga class where

somebody has part pardon me, Iam, they're not doing it right.
Then. Somebody always farts in yogaclass. I've never because you get all
loose. It's not even a it'snot even a thing to be worried about.
It's going to happen. Their fartswere silent and did not smell.
I have never experienced yoga class wheresomeone's gown rip. Wow. Yeah,
oh you're you're you're breathing rarefied airthere. If you'll part in the pund

You got to remember too, thisis in New York City, so this
is like wee smells, not evensmells, it's just loud. It's like
this is not a serene place,you know what I mean, there's homeless
people watching us. One dude,I mean, outdoor yoga's better maniacally started
laughing. I mean in the middleof I don't know what we were doing,
but this homeless man is just screamlaughing at us and pointing and walking

around in circles. And he eventuallyleft after a few minutes. But I
mean, we're in a park inNew York. It's not a private space,
so there are There was one weirdowho stumbled in and was looking a
little too close and was really enjoyinghimself. He wasn't like touching or anything
like that, but the way thathe was like looking at the women,
I was like, oh man,this is kind of There was a guy

yesterday, well yesterday when I waswalking to Heinen's right here on the east
side Bill right euclid in ninth.Well, while walking to the east side
Heinens and you know that side doorthat's on ninth, you know, going
the main one, there's a sidedoor and that's closest to where I need
to be. So I was goingthere there's a homeless dude standing right outside

that door doing He's got no shirt, his pants look like they're about to
fall off. He's doing full karatemoves. He's just standing there. He's
uh gesticulating every which way. He'soh yeah, maybe, But I mean,
everybody was really given this guy awide berth because they're like, this

guy, you clearly don't know whathe's gonna do or what whatever. But
I needed to go in that door. So I'm like, well, I'm
not gonna go through the other door. I'm going here. So since I'm
a nice guy, I excused myselfand went around him. But I bet
a he didn't hear me. Behe probably didn't care at all. But
I'm like, I'm gonna walk upin this guy because it's not like he

was he was aware of his surroundings. Right, I'm like, I'm gonna
walk up open the door. Rightwhen this guy is doing like a karate
chop or something, he's gonna getme in the ear. Well, nothing
like, nothing like that happened youentered his dojo, So that that's what
I'm saying. I wanted to givehim a wide berth because I'm like,
clearly he's got he's teaching a classicisminvisible students here and I'm not hip to

it. But yeah, all right, But ironically, in contrast to your
yoga, when I walk past thatguy, I did fart good for you?
I wanted him to know what wasgoing on. Hey you with the
good taste? What the hell youdoing here? It's the ally Cock Show

on one point seven WMMS. Ohthis is a good band. They're called
Protests the Hero from Canada. We'replaying the Grog Shop in August. Maybe
I'll play them Saturday night. Ilike what they do. We do a
metal show here on the Buzzard calledtwo Hours of Midnight because it begins at

ten pm. So if you're intometal, make sure that you join us.
We just hit our one year anniversarya couple of months ago, and
every time I'm out, you knowI'm gonna be back up in Portage Lakes
this weekend. There's always a handfulof people are like, thank you so
much for doing the metal show.So I don't always get comments from people
over social media or email or whatever. And I talk to people, they're
always very pleased. So we takea little corner a one and twenty minute

corner of the Buzzards broadcast week andme and Corey Roddick and Pat Butler all
come in here and put the showtogether. So Saturday night, two hours
to midnight is our Metal Show.If you're in a local metal band,
send us your stuff. I waslike playing metal. We got three metal
local bands, I think Saturday Night. Also, I was talking to Hilarities

in the break. We're calling anaudible. Oh, Adam Ferrara is going
to come in today. Cam Pattersonis going to come in tomorrow. I'm
flipping them. Cam's a bit jetlagged, so I said, well,
if Adam's in town, bring himin. We love him. We've had
Adam on the show before. I'venever met Cam Patterson, but Cam's doing
the Cabaret this weekend. Adam's inthe main room there at Hilarity, so

there's always a little bit of overlap. So Adam Ferrara, if you're a
top Gear fan or you know,Adam's been doing a million things for a
long time, so he will joinus a little bit later on Guardians split
that series with the Reds. There'sonly two games. They call it the
Ohio Cup and then what they callit the Ohio Cup correct and Red's over

the Guardians last night four to two, so they each get one there.
The Guardians are off tonight, butthey are headed to Toronto to play the
Blue Jays. First of three.Tomorrow night, the Cincinnati Reds set an
attendance record, and I have tothink that that's because you know, when
a guy's out there streaking, everybodygoes, well, I gotta go tonight.

I want to see somebody taste thatwas on Tuesday night, and then
everybody buys tickets because you know,conspiracy theories now are a part of the
fabric of modern life. So therehad to be people going, hey,
this guy didn't really get tasted,even though it was a video of him
today getting you know, hearing withthe rain or front of the judge.

People. I'm sure out there likethis guy is going to be back by
a ticket. Maybe somebody in theReds front office. I don't know.
But the Reds are doing okay.They won nine to the twelve last games,
and so they're starting to see somepeople show up there at the Great
American Ballpark. Also, the Monstersare out a bumar. Yeah, they

really did. They went all theway to game seven. They were a
game away from being in the CalderCup Championships, but they fell. Last
night. They were playing the HersheyBears in the Eastern Conference Finals and they
lost by one goal. Three totwo is the final there against Hershey game
seven. If you've got to doanything in the postseason, you want to
go to game seven. And theycame back from being three games down.

They were the Cleveland Cavaliers of hockey, and but didn't make it. So
I don't know who Hershey will playin the Calder Cup finals. I don't
know who the other team is.But if you're a hockey fan and you
don't regularly go to Monsters games,you're missing out. They made it to
one this year. But it wasa blast. It's a lot of fun.

I was the Funny Bus by theway. Funny Bus was fantastic as
always. Dar John was the comediandar John Bentley, and we had a
great time. Tons of listeners,a few people that were in town that
didn't know that I was gonna beon there. But the microphone didn't work
yesterday, so I just yelled afew things from time to time, but

I kind of let dar John dothe head. But it was a lot
of fun, all right. Imean that's always a blast. What do
you yell? Uh? I don'tknow, I can't remember any Did you
get lit up on the bus?No? I just I just like to.
You know, I was mostly justtrying to make dar John laugh because
he was basically the only one thatcould really hear me, and I got

him a few times. You're playingat him? Yeah yeah, okay,
well good, Uh we've only gottwo left. I'll be your host next
week that one is sold out,and then the Bill will host the the
last one, now, the lastone for the funny Bus. Just last
one. We do Wednesdays in Mayand June. Soil June twenty sixth for
that. And how was Brooklyn?Mary Lynn? That's good? This one,

this particular show on Wednesdays is agood show. So it's not like
I mean, it wasn't blow skirtup. It wasn't like this is the
most amazing set I've ever had.But for like a bar show on a
Wednesday night, it was fine.Now, is that a show where people
are less likely to actually wear skirtsbecause they're afraid that they might get harassed?
No, I don't think so.Some people wore skirts, oh good,
but none of them were none ofthem were blown up. Not by

me? You no me? Okay, what're you gonna do? And what
are you gonna do? I havemy Yucher Club tonight. Boy, there's
a phrase you don't hear every dayfrom anyone under sixty. I love it.
Wow. So it's every other Thursday. So the only two social things
I've really done since I've been inNew York are go bowling and play Ucher

and the Yugers every other Thursday.So it's not often that I can make
it because it's in the Storia.No, it's in Brooklyn, Okay,
because if I'm either out of townor I have a show on Thursday,
it's only from It's pick up youGur, So literally, anybody who knows
how to play goes and you juststart talking to random people and start a
game together. And I've been twiceand I really like it. It's super

fun. You know, most ofthe people are from the It's a very
Midwest game. Oh yeah. Ifanybody doesn't know, it's kind of like
spades, except the trump card changesevery hand. It's really the only difference.
I mean, that's tonight I'm excitedabout. My parents grew up playing
UKRE and my wife grew up playingUkre. But it's one of those games

where every time I play, Ihave to relearn it, and I don't
know why so I'll always get dealtin, but I always I always have
to relearn, and I'm not youknow people who are like from heavy Like
my wife's from a heavy duty cardplaying family, am I right? So
like every where people go in herfamily, they have a deck of cards

with them. We have a deckof cards in my backpack. There you
go all times. Yeah, andyou can listen. You got a deck
of cards. You got the worldat your feet because you can make your
own fun. And when I firststarted dating Brian, I like when we
were you know, still like gettingto know you and hanging out and stuff.
I'd like bring cards and be like, oh, do you want to
play this? Do you want toplay that? And he didn't know how
to play anything? Like my familyis a game family because it was free,
so we played cards or if wehad like board games from however long

ago, like we were always playingsome sort of game. And he's like,
I don't even know what any ofthese games are. Like every card
game I've had to teach him howto play. So I was like it
blew my mind. I was like, some families don't just play cards,
Like yeah, we were playing Rummysince I was like seven years old,
right, Like, we weren't agame family, but like my mom played

Solitaire all the time. I mean, one of my most enduring memories sense
memories is hearing my mom at thekitchen table shuffling the cards for Solitaire just
that that that that now, andplaying that. So we were like a
we weren't like a board game family. Like to this day, I don't
like playing board games, which sucksif you have kids because you have to

play them and then pretend like they'refun. But cards were always a big,
big thing. Yeah, So yeah, that's tonight. It's maybe now
thirty to win ever open ended toquestion mark, maybe Uker Club will will
replace Bonus Hole I have done.There any live stream opportunities for this,

I don't think so, because thenyou got to get consent from everybody to
be in it, unless I wereto live stream. Just like my hand
and the cards that no one elsewas like in it, That's what I'm
saying. Uh, go in therewith like the helmet attachment of a GoPro.
Just sit there with that in yourhead. You look like Doc Brown
and Back to the Future and you'rejust filming your hand. Since I mean,

I actually used to play cards withGwen before I even got on this
show with My Life. I playedwith her over at the Pox House for
years. She still plays at thePoles House. She's like, goes,
Hey, I'm going to go aplay card this Sunday. I'm gonna play
cards that were Yeah. So Ihaven't played in person since before the pandemic.
I have not played Uker in person. So I've been playing on my
phone and I'm playing against three robotson my phone, you know. So

I'm so used to like it beingsuper fast paced. Like I can finish
a game of Uker on my phonein like probably seven or eight minutes.
I could do it in a breakwhen we're in a break, I can
play a full game of Yuker onmy phone. And then when you go
in and it's like a social event. The first time I went, I
was kind of annoyed because everyone wasjust like talking, and I'm like,
can we play this game or islike nobody here to win? Like what

are we doing? You don't wantany social component whatsoever? I had you
here to play dummies. I hadto recalibrate. I had to recalibrate to
this is a social game. Thisis a game where you kind of hang
out. But I'm like, butit also doesn't need to take thirty five
minutes to get through one game,right, Like that's that's too much,
you know. So the second timeI went, I had I'd known a

couple people and like that guy playsfast, that guy talks too much,
like you can kind of figure outeverybody. Yeah, Alan, did Mary's
family ever play Shanghai Rummy? Inever heard of Shanghai Rummy. I don't
know the difference between that and regularrummy. Yeah, okay. I actually
just try to teach Blake, Brian'sdaughter, who is eight, how to
play Rummy over the weekend, andI'm like, there's a lot of rules,

and I'm like, maybe I don'tknow if she just isn't ready for
it, because I'm like, Idistinctly remember playing when I was like a
little kid, Like I was playingRummy in elementary school and take another kid's
lunch money. There's a lot ofparts to it. There's a lot of
rules and a lot of things toremember. But she was not having it
at all, and I was tryingto help her. And then Brian looks

at He's like, you're playing rummyby yourself right now. I was like,
I know what. I don't evenknow what we're trying to do here.
Well, this brings up an interestingquestion that just occurred to me.
Okay, you are on record asnot liking magicians because their liars to you,
sure a lot of magicians involve cardtricks. Does your love of cards

begin and end with card games?Are card tricks completely off your radar?
I don't like, you don't wantin any capacity. Okay, it makes
me feel stupid. So if somebodyis doing a card trick, you're like,
that's not what you're supposed to usecards for. No belaying a game
christ where it's like this only meantfor my kind of game entertainment. I

just don't like magic in general becauseit makes me feel dumb, and I
don't like feeling dumb. You everthought that maybe, because you seem to
have some acumen with cards, thatyou could get on the other side of
that equation. You could be youcould, you know, find yourself a
corner somewhere in the city, andyou could be like busking with card tricks,

learn some tricks. I don't careto learn a trick. I want
to play a game, all right, set up a card table and just
play. Instead of tricks, playsolitaire on the street corner. People will
come by and watch. What's thepoint of that, well, because they'll
think they'll be waiting for a trick, but it'll the trick is you're just
playing solitaire, and they'll hang outfor a bit, and to really drive

it home, you'll have an openguitar case there into which you know,
the Universal signed forgive me money,and so they might throw in some coins,
but you're just playing solitaire. Idon't know that that'll work. I
think that'll piss people off because they'llwalk up expecting a trick, not see
a trick, and then be like, screw this, Yeah, how long
do you have to wait? Imean that's on them, that's not on
you. You know. It's likewhen you go to the subway there's a

guy playing a saxophone. You can'tget mad because he didn't play a song
you like. You just weren't therewhen he played the song that you like.
That seems like lying. That's deceptiveto me. Interesting. Okay,
Now we would play uno when wewere kids with lay pea knuckle, but
you curboy, I gotta learn.It doesn't take me long, but I
gotta learn. Every single time heywant to play Yuker, I go because

I figure if I shouldn't be takingup a seat from someone who loves to
play, right, I agree withthat. You know, it's not a
game. I don't think any gameis for the for the casual fan should
really want to do it. Mything is is that teaching that game,
in particular, Yuker has a lotof rules, a lot of things trip

people up. And I don't havethe patience to teach someone to play unless
they really want to play. Solike if someone's like, oh, sure,
I'm at the party, I'll learn, I'm like, I'll go to
a different table. Right, Idon't want to sit hear it, And
I don't want to be that guywatch you learn and then watch you screw
up and then in three hands aregoing to quit and never play again.
Anyway, Like this is a wasteof everybody's time. Yeah, sounds fun

to be with you in this situation, but that's what I'm saying, Like,
I don't want to be the guythat's that's that's slowing the process.
If you were to get together toplay a game of pick up basketball and
one person had never played basketball before. That's not fun for anybody. They
teach me how to do a layup. No, get the hell out of
here. Cards are fun when everybodyknows what they're doing because there's a rhythm

to it that you can kind ofscore around. But you're not distracted.
You still know what you're doing,right, Yeah, yeah, No,
I have no interest in teaching someonehow to play a game a teaching hospital.
It's not a teaching hospital or alearning library. Rights the learning library.
I got another song from Ray Mygod retired of the Ray songs.

I'm getting annoyed because they're not gettingbetter. Well, maybe they will,
maybe, Yeah, maybe the pointis to find one that This one is
called Soul on Fire. Okay,raise in love with your soul painted red
toast, take their toll. There'sstill some satan and it's you Feet the
Devil and Brian. That's usually theyeah, because some people really go in

on these AI songs. I've gottena couple from people that were really good
because they wrote the lyrics. Ifyou just leave it up to AI,
if you give it a couple ofprompts, you're gonna get one of those
AI hallucination songs. But there's alot of people really painstakingly writing lyrics,
and you know, if they havea way with a phrase, it can
be very funny. I don't knowthat Rays in that camp. I think

he's throwing in Mary toes Brian ratsSatan right, soul on fire is what
this one's called. S O UL. That would have been say what
he missed a learn from the best, all right, s O L E
soul s O U will well.But in his defense, the AI names

the song. You put in someprompts and the AI calls it something.
Now, this is the style youlike too, just musically, this is
the style you like A right soundsto drinks from Ray, drinks from Ray's

Milk tonight. Come on, comeon, I was bringing Brian into it.
Come on. This is Ray voldbeatythough the way we were talking about
vold beat yesterday. Mary likes Marylikes like lunkhead riff rock, and this
is right up her alley. Sojust small little tweaks Ray, and you're
you're closer to her heart. Yeahto see so dangerously Yeah, Yeah,

you gotta go on one day withYeah, Brimestone. Well, that's where
they screw you up there. Hey. I was like, yeah, Brianstone
is a thing like the Brimestone cowBoy. Yeah, so a little it's
mostly satan this one. I mean, it's a little bit of Brian but
it leads lends itself to the typeof song pull on Fire, Well there

you go on Well he I'm surehe thought you might a hot, merry
song for a hot day. That'show he described it. I don't know
why the demons dance till the breakof day, because they're sleeping in the
day. Mary up all night,sleep all day, rock and roll all
night, and every day, partof every day, and part of every

day from noon to three. Iwant to rock and roll all all right,
don't want to party every day.I want to part part of every
day. M hm. Role models. Well, maybe he's maybe he's getting
closer to something. And again it'sto the best of my knowledge, it's
not like Ray's hitting you up.It sounds like he has purchased some of

your footpicks along the way. Yeah. Maybe, but because that's clearly what's
inspired all these songs, you know, Coconut Milk and Hot lot of explosions
and stuff all coming from your footpicks, so that I have no evidence
to support that theory, but itsounds like somebody who was really drawn in

by the purchase of some of yourfootpicks, and so you gotta you got
to give it up to him forthat. Are you still doing that?
By the way, just just forRay. I'm asking for a friend,
just for Ray. I haven't beenfocused on it because I'm not gonna lie.
The last couple of months, likeI felt like I was very excitos
not my toes are narly, It'sjust that I wasn't keeping up with them

because I'm like, you know,when I got here, it's like I'm
in New York. I'm killing it. I've got to do this, I
gotta do this, blah blah blahblah. It is great. And then
like May, half of April andinto May, haven't been in a great
headspace. Was kind of like missinghome real bad and like not feeling like
I was progressing even though I haveonly been here four months. And then

so now I'm kind of coming outof that. I've been working out a
little bit more lately, and Iactually just got a pedicure today for the
first time in like probably a month. Yep. Nothing will make you feel
better than getting your toes did well. The reason why is because I went
and did yoga in the park andI had my bare feet out and I
was like, oh, what Imean? And they're not even that bad.
I keep my feet pretty nice ingeneral, but they were, you
know, chipped and different lengths,and so I went and got one.

How dare you bring those chipped uptoes to this concrete park in New York
when there's homeless people urinating nearby.I don't know if you've ever seen someone
with yoga feet but not great hammertoe, not great big muscular feet,
which for gripping is fantastic. It'slike guys always think that they want to
date dancers. Dancers are gymnasts.Oh they're so flexible, and then they

take their shoes off and you're like, whoa, yeah, but I don't
so I'm not a foot guy either. But you can look at a foot
and objectively go that is messed up. But like during like I don't know,
there's not a lot of contact thatI'm going to like, I'm not
going to be looking at their feetduring well, you're not sucking on toes.

I mean, if they want that, but not. It's not like
a move, give me them piggies. No, it's just part. It's
on the menu. He sucks sometoes, but that's again only if they
want it. Oh, they haveto request that if they're into it.
Do you ever try and suck ontoes of a girl that's not into it?
No, me either. I havenoticed feet more since I started selling

pictures of my own. I meana couple of years ago, is like
twenty twenty two. Maybe when Istarted I'm home and dinner a few years.
But now I do definitely pay moreattention if people have on like open
toe shoes or like at yoga,I'll look around and the instructor today she
was hot. She I mean,I feel like yoga teachers are all hot?
Are they better? Single one?And she's like really tiny and fit,

and she's got like hot, littletiny tattoos everywhere, and you know,
she's just got that very yoga vibeabout her and soothing voice like all
of that. And then I lookedat her feet and I was like,
wolf, dude, ankle up tenout of ten? Maybe game beat them,

join them and if you can jointhem, send a strongly worded letter
asking why your application was rejected.Another helpful tip from the Allen Cock Show.
I'm one of your voices. Ibelieve Ms one what is taking me

in the house to night? Andyou should grab your favorite lady and promiser?
Do you right? Tell doctor Juice? So it's all down, but
the little rhythm is good boys kids. Sergeant T texted me and reminded me

of this song that whole Finn LizzieUh conversation we were having about the boys
are back in town. Sergeant Twas like, the bus boys song is
way better than tin Lizzie and Ihad completely forgotten about this song. Buzz
Boys were kind of they weren't aroundlong. They were in la band,
but they really blew up in theearly eighties because Eddie Murphy put them in

forty eight Hours. There's a scenewhere there's fighting in the bar. I
think him and Nick Nolty. Ifpeople remember the movie forty eight Hours,
I think that was Eddie's first movie. And they did this song, and
they had a couple of hits,but they were kind of like a novelty
ish band. But they and thenhe took him out on tour. So

when Eddie Murphy would go out,you know, back in the day when
bands would open for comedians or viceversa, there were a lot of comics
in the seventies and eighties who gotgoing opening for bands. You hear those
old guys talking about you know,Bill Maher and Seinfelm, those guys when
they were you know, right outthe box, they were like, oh
yeah, I went out and Iwas opening for Diana Ross or Barry Manneal

or whatever. And those are alwayshorror stories because nobody wanted to see the
comedian. They wanted to see theperson. They went and bought the tickets
for. My buddy Keith would openfor Mariah Carey and he it broke him
down because he's a very funny guy. In opening those shows was just I
mean, he couldn't turn down becausethe money was so good and their big

venues. So it's a lot ofpeople booing. You You're not in a
tiny club bombing, right, You'rein an arena, you know, at
least like when Florentine and Don Jamisondo you know Sonic Temple or something.
Those are all people who are kindof you know, they're kind of like,
but they don't do opening. Theydon't do like a comedy set in

those situations, like there's a comedythey though sometimes, but like nobody nobody
ever did from the Rock on theRanges in Sony Temples that I did with
them, nobody's doing a comedy setexcept Dice once did like a bigger like
in front of a band. Yeah, but they would go out and be
like, hey, what's up.I doing banter a little bit and then

be like, here's the band.Get the crowd going. Yeah, So
anyway, thank you, Sergeant T. I completely forgot about the bus Boys.
They had another song called there Goesthe Neighborhood, which was kind of
a joke. You know. Theband was five black guys and a Hispanic
guy. But yeah, but fortyeight hours he put him in there and
then took him out on the road. And then they had I think they

had a song in Ghostbusters too,So there was a say that sounded like
theme song music, yes, withthe piano and the thing and cleaning up
the town from Ghostbusters. Somebody says, I don't remember that, but the
bus Boys had that song cleaning Up, And I remember cleaning Up the town

from the bus Boys. I haven'tseen the original Ghostbusters in a while.
It's not like I've committed the musicto memory, but the movie is quite
older. Oh yeah, oh yeah, this is them. Okay, it
sounds like straight cats to me.That's probably who I thought it was what
I saw Grostef All right, Well, there you go. For in the

early eighties, the bus Boys reallyhad their really had their moment. Courtesy
of Eddie Murphy and Arister Records.If you listen to us on iHeartRadio,
tell me where you do it,because I like to know where people are.
Brittany listens in Austin, Texas.Ed is in Appleton, Wisconsin.

Mike is in Broomfield, Colorado.Emily's done in Melbourne, Florida. And
Joe is one of our beer chiefsin Knoxville, Tennessee. About eighty five
miles away from Knoxville, there isa private zoo. You ever going to
a private zoo? No? Yeah, we went to one. Well no,
it's somebody owns a lot of landand they have a bunch of animals

in cages and they're licensed. Butit still feels like a fly by night
operation. It's not like a cityrun zoo, and I would imagine that
things vary from state to state.But I just remember about five years ago
or so, our daughter was onlylike two or three, and on our
way back from Florida, we haddriven, and on our way back we

stopped off in Charlotte to just kindof stretch our legs or whatever, and
Gwen had bought some tickets for thiszoo. There's an amusement park outside Charlotte
called Caroins that some people might befamiliar with, and then a couple exits
away from that was this private zooand you got off and it's just people

running a zoo. But the privateones feel weird because yeah, they're just
you know, gravel parking lot andyou walk through like a barn. Of
course, they've got their own giftshop. It's like one step up from
tire King. Yes. Well,anyway, a little bit outside Knoxville,
there's a zoo called Bright's Zoo,a private zoo, and they made the

news because one of their beloved antelopeschoked to death in front of a group
of people on the plastic cap oflike one of those apple sauce snack pouches
that kids have if you've ever givena little kid, you know the squeezy
pouches. Yeah, they've got hardcaps that twist off of a nozzle so

that the kid can just suck itout of the pouch. But the thing
is is that a lot of peoplejust throw stuff on the ground and they
think that's what happened. Here aseven year old antelope at this private zoo
choked to death on the cap ofa squeezeable fruit sauce pouch. Uh.
And they tell you they have signs, Hey, you can't bring stuff like

this for just this reason. Soif you pay attention to sign and they'll
tell you, hey, you knowbecause a lot of people obviously you're bringing
little kids and they're letting them know, Hey, you got to look anyway.
Have you ever seen an animal die. Yeah, it's terrifying because they
don't know what's going on. There'snothing you can do, and it just

the noises and the sounds. It'sI can't imagine standing there while an antelope
is choking to death cause it's gotsomething plastic caught in its throat. Antelopes
live to be about twenty twenty fiveyears. This antelope was only seven.
Lafe the antelope died Saturday at theBright Zoo and the people there were like,

yeah, packaging is dangerous to ouranimals. The one we went to,
you know, obviously they had differentsized cages and they have very exotic
animals. You know, they've gotlike leopards, and they've got what's the
one called a canoe something. What'sthe it's new? I just remember Gary,

it was okay, a new agnu is out. It is new,
you might recall in the early odds, that's how new metal got its
name. Everybody was thrown up thehorns. But they tell you, hey,
they call it and they really did. Yet well I did, I
mispronounced it, but yeah they were. They were like, this is why

we don't let this. I missedit, thank you. But people are
always sneaking stuff in everybody. Nobodypays attention to anything anymore. I was
watching uh a piece or listening tosomething, and a guy was talking about
how one of the huge, hugeproblems we have right now in our culture

is and this is what prohibits peopleof different political stripe in different life situations
from meeting in the middle, isthat no one defers to anyone anymore.
And He's like, that's a big, big problem. Nobody defers to other
people. That's why everybody. Peopleare into this misguided notion that like,
expertise isn't a thing anymore because everybodythinks they know everything because you have access

to a lot of information. Butthe next step is synthesizing that information.
And so you have people saw thisa lot during the pandemic, people who
all of a sudden they thought theywere doctors. They thought they knew as
much as people who had been schooledand devoted their entire lives to studying certain

areas of you know, academia tobecome experts. And now you have a
thing where nobody, nobody defers tosomeone else's expertise. And the reason that
that's important is you can learn somethingand it might you might change your mind
on some things once you've heard fromsomeone who has a great deal of expertise.

But nobody defers to anybody anymore.Nobody looks at a sign and goes,
well, we can't bring those inthere. The sign says we can't
bring those in there. There's animalsin there. People go, yeah,
it's fine, throw it in theground. By the way, when you're
done with it, because who cares. It's only animals walking around. So
I have to imagine that this antelopewasn't necessarily in a cage. It was
probably in like a large pen that'sa big animal, like the one we

went to outside Charlotte. You know, you'd have a couple of giant stacked
cages because they had one of thosegiant trees that like a puma would be
in if you were to see it, and they were trying to assume recreate
its natural habitat, you know,so that you'd have all these large animals
in cages, but then you wouldjust have some animals that were penned in

some smaller you know, you're notgoing to get attacked by a cow or
something whatever it was. And thenlike peacocks were running around loose. They're
just running around the grounds. Soyou know, you go to a zoo
and everything is enclosed, you know, like for instance, Cedar Point where

they let the camels just walk around. They don't care. They go,
hey, let them out. Whatif it kicks a handicapped guy in the
head. You know what, readthe fine print on the back of the
ticket them, we are indemnified butagain for me, the thought of this
whole thing was, if you've everseen an animal die, it's terrible,

it's awful. My brother's two kids, they were all just hanging out,
and I guess some hillbilly crap.My brother got his dog from the neighbor
whose dog had puppies. So,like, all of the dog siblings live
in the same neighborhood, so sometimesthe neighbors will just let their dogs out

and all this the dog siblings willplay together and they're the ones who did
it. Uh So I guess thishappened a couple weeks ago, where like
my brother's dog and the neighbor's dogare brothers, and they were playing in
the yard and then the one dogwent to go way two families had sibling
dogs. That's what I'm trying tosay is that this is some hillbilly crap,

right, So instead of going it'sessentially like this one family is kind
of running like a puppy mill,you know what I mean, where they
just keep getting their dog pregnant andthen giving, yes, giving the puppies.
Everyone in the neighborhood. So mybrother's across the street neighbor and my
brother their dogs are brothers. Gotit? Yep? The brother dogs are
playing. I really like that.If that's not a phrase yet, that's

brother dogs. The brother dogs areplaying. The neighbor's dog goes to go
home, crosses the street, getshit by a car in front of my
eight and five year old nieces.And he said that the girls were devastated.
He's like, they refuse to sleep, they were screaming, they were

like hysterical, like you could notcalm them down. I've never seen that.
But then this is where I thoughtit got a little weird. He
took them to like the burial siteand like let them help dig the grave
and like put this dog in it. What. I don't know that yeah,
I could see. I mean Ithink felt like a little bit much

for me. It might be Iget that too, But I think teaching
little kids about death is a veryimportant thing, and it makes it maybe,
and it might make them feel mightmake them feel involved in the you
know, because you're telling them theRainbow Bridge stories and all that. But
then you're like, oh, they'renow and they're Christians. The dogs are
in heaven. Well, but that'sisn't that just what the rain baptized.

I mean, isn't that just whatthe rainbow bridge is? Where does the
Rainbow bridge go? I don't knowif it goes anywhere. Well, I
mean every bridge goes somewhere except thatone that in Alaska. But no,
that's all things. It's all good, up and running again. And so
that was weird to you. Ithought it was weird. There's also some
farm stuff too. Yeah, kidsare already like traumatized right now, You're

gonna get in the car with thisdead dog and then take it to the
place. I don't know, man, it seemed it seemed weird to spend
that much time around a dead animal. How were the kids in the in
the aftermath of that, He saidthat they wouldn't sleep like it was a
real rough couple of days. Theywere just like wake if they did fall
asleep, they like wake up screaming. And I'm like, well, yeah,

I mean that's a traumatic event towitness. But I don't know.
I felt like maybe just seeing itdie was enough. I guess maybe it
would offer a little bit of closure. I don't know, Well maybe,
yeah, I don't know. Youasked for by a car. It's not
like it's together but it's this dogis smashed, And now you're like,
well, he probably had it inlike wrapped in a blanket or something.

He sent us a picture of itand it was like in a like a
kitchen towel. It wasn't like agame of cootie though, where you had
to go like scoop up the legsand stuff. No, but still,
well, yeah, I'm sure thereare two schools of thought on that.
My thought, I don't know thatI would do that, but I think
I would ask, hey, doyou want to help? We've got to
do this, you know, isthat his dog? Honey? Do you

want to help me put the dogon the bonfire? Or yeah, but
it's not even their dog, Like, it's not even their dog. Well,
it takes a village, It takesa village. Maybe they were just
trying to help. But again,an animal getting hit by a car,
that's a pretty even if you're akid, it's pretty standard cause and effect.

But if you were to watch ananimal choke, you don't know what's
happening. You're like, what isFirst you think it's like just making some
noise, and then it falls overbecause it can't breathe Jesus Christ. And
of course the zoo is like wedon't you know. On social media or
whatever, people were just really bummedout and angry, and the zoo is

like, nobody's going to take responsibilityfor this. People bring these things in,
we ask them not to bring themin. Something like this happens,
and it's not like somebody is goingto show up and go, I'm so
sorry. We're the ones who dropthat cap. But you know, even
that, it's like people, Idon't know, man, it just goes
back to that thing where people getgored by an animal because they were going

up to get a selfie with itor whatever. People are so disassociated from
nature that they have no sense ofof anything like oh, hey, are
you done with that hamburger? Yeah, just throw it in the animal enclosure.
They'll eat it. Hey you doingwith that sushi? Hey can antelope?

So you know how you know,Mary, how you walk? Sushi
is such common zoo food. It'swalkable. Yeah, I mean you you
knows using the chopsticks, you're eatingit with your hands, but you are
heathen? Yeah I am boy?But uh yeah, that sucks for them.

So if you're somebody for whom theantelope is maybe your favorite animal.
You don't hear it often, butit's certainly majestic. You might have to
downshift into an ibex or something alongthose lines, something in that in that
family. But these private zoos,boy, sure you can get in for
five bucks, but uh, youknow trauma. That's right. He pays

your money and it takes your chances. And that's what happened here with that
animal. Alan Cox, we usedto describe but school it was a complete
the show on a one hundred pointsets devotion to accuracy. From people out

east, I thought the Francis ScottKey Bridge was open for business again.
I guess they just they've cleared allthe debris the bridge in Baltimore. Yeah,
are you thinking of the Philadelphia one? Philly one, Yeah, that
one is done. But I guessI was thinking. I thought I had
read that the Baltimore one was opentoo, but they have just stupid stupid?

Are you stupid? Stupid? Thedebris is clear and the shipping channel
is open, but the bridge isnot up and running. All right,
I'm sure all the harbor pilots outthere are very happy to hear about that.
Dogs and cats living in the samehouse. Sounds like pandemonium. Yeah,

hey, Dick, Hey, howare you? What's going on?
Dick? Oh, I'm just onethat I told your screener we don't tomorrow.
I think it's a special day thatthey were talking about it here on
the news this morning on one ofthe stations that the flag to represent the

June fourteenth Flag Day, the flagof America and what's it stand for?
For freedom and justice for America.I think they ought to put that our
veterans that die, that they givethe flags to the families. I think
that's a very good tradition in history. What do you think, Well,

yeah, Veterans Day, you're talkingabout Veterans Day. Flag Day is tomorrow,
but Veterans Day is in November.Yeah. Yeah. I just think
that it's neat because we had donea little tribute to we pledge to lead
to we always do in our band, a couple of our bands. But
I think we should honor these peoplea lot more, you know what I

mean? Absolutely, I don't thinkarguing so Dick, what you're saying is
you're a purist when it comes tothe flag, right, big flag fan.
Yeah, how do you feel thatthose people are flying it upside down.
Yeah, yeah, but I justwanted to tell you too that well,
let's see, I celebrated three anniversaries. I've been in the Keterin Banjoe

Society thirty eight years and they gaveme a little Oh, they gave me
a couple CDs of the band.And I've been in the Strummers, the
Beaver Creek Strummers four years, playingthe yuke is now yeah, string benders.

Uh you play the folk, youknow the rock and roll and you
know we we did a song todayand uh it was by Van Morrison.
We're learning these uh these uh,let's see Van Morrison. And I think
there was another one that one ofthe Fucker Roll did stand by me and
these songs are good. These songsare good. And then uh, the

Dulsmart group we had we did atribute to all this month. We did
a tribute to the Native American songslike this Land and you know, uh
what is it? Circle will beUnbroken and things like that. So it
shows a little bit I think ofpatriotism in America with what's going on,

you know what I mean, Ithink, don't you? And I also
wanted to talk about the what isit the guardians? How good they're doing?
What do you think? Well,you think, guys, But I

thought i'd check in, and Ihope you didn't forget me on. You
know, I'm my shirt. Hopefully. I'm sure you'll get it into mail
pretty soon. I hope. Right. How long was I going to wait

for him to figure it out?Jesus, I was trying to wait for
come on, man, shirt?He is tenacious? Was that shirt?
Did you get a shirt? Andno? I had a bit of trouble
with their website actually, and Ihad I was dealing with the cl clothing

company's customer service. So I'll takeanother crack at it. And uh,
but last week I was in theprocess of ordering a shirt for Dick and
they were they were having some issues. So I'll go back to god.
I I, you know, we'vedone that bit before. It why because

it feels mean? And he,oh, come on, dude, calls
it. He calls every radio station. He called. I treat basic based
on what other people have told me. Right, that was one of the
first things I learned when I cameto Cleveland, when I was getting the
lay of the land, and Ithought it was just some funny old dude
calling. All these people started blowingme up. That guy calls every radio

station. Okay, now I knowhe's harmless. He's fine. You guys
have met him. I prefer tokeep our relationship professional. That's fine.
I have no ill will toward himwhatsoever. When he calls every show,
which is fine. I guarantee,based on what people have told me,
no one treats him better than Ido. Every other station he calls.

All I hear from other people isman. They treat him, they make
fun of him, they treat himlike crap. I don't do that.
I like the guy talk. I'mgiving him my valuable airtime and it's fun.
But how long was he got?Normally he goes all right, you
know, he doesn't hear us sayanything, and he punches out. All
right? He kept going, Wow, Why you always say I like to

keep our things professional by not meetingpeople, not meeting Dick, but not
people. I meet people all thetime. You've said it about other people
too, though, regular callers.Yeah, well, what's wrong with meeting
them? There's nothing wrong with meetingthem. You guys met There's nothing wrong

with it. But if I'm fineif I don't meet Dick, right,
I met John. I want tosay, but what's the professional aspect of
it? I like to keep him. He's a caller and I'm the host,
and he still is that even thoughhe's no. I don't need to
run into him out in public.I mean, I'm not gonna you know
what I mean. He's living inKettering, right, I'm not gna.

But Mary's met him, right,he came to professional you've met him too,
Yeah, it's not unprofessional, right, It's not my fault. You
guys have buyer's remorse, I have. I'm fine. I like to keep
him on the phone and I'll behere. I guess my thing with him

is that I'm like, I getit that he can be a bit much
lonely, but he is. He'sa lonely old man. That's not on
what. I have to play alongevery single time, because I well,
when I do, I'm trying toentertain here. And if you know,
if we're having a little bit offun with him, listen, I've been

here almost fifteen goddamn years and thisguy's been calling since day one, so
he's certainly no. He's not walkingaway with any hard feelings. I mean,
people can't stand when I put Dickon the air, but I you
know, we have a little conversationwith him. Sometimes it's easier to follow

than others. Sometimes usually he justblows right past whatever we're saying. That's
fine, that's all baked into thecake. I learned that a long time
ago. I just thought I wassurprised at how he kept going there.
You know, we we have mostof his rhythms down by this point,
but nobody gives him the airtime andthe latitude that I do among all these

other radio stations. So nobody's goingto make me feel bad for having a
having a go at Dick. Soyes, So that's what I mean,
keeping the relationship professional. You guyswant to hang out with Dick. I

know, you told me you wantto hang out. I was doing it.
You are listeners, Yeah, listenerswant to see what you look like.
And I figure, you know,yeah, there's nothing wrong with it.
So I did that as a professionalcourtesy. Nothing wrong with it.
So yeah. Flag Day tomorrow,that's also the Army's birthday. My father

was an Army veteran. My nephewis stationed in Germany with the Army.
All the station down here in Cantontreats to Dick pretty good. But it
is a sports show. Well that'sthe thing too. He probably he probably
has more linear thoughts when it comesto calling a sports show. I would
think, well, I mean that'sreally all he talks about here is sports

in his music. Well, yeah, those are the things that are important
to him. You know, I'mnot trying to have a back and forth
conversation with him. Well that's impossible. Well you guys have you've had normal
conversations with him? Not really,I mean it just, oh yeah,
showed him like you just feel fromthis whole lonely old man and I that

should tell you something. If he'sgot to call every single radio station,
you don't have anybody. He's gota girlfriend. I don't know that she's
real. I believe she's real.It's just they're both in their eighties or
whatever, so it's not like they're, you know, tripping the light fantastic
Alan. I agree with Mary thinLizzie is seventies cake talk, singing crap,

which is why Bill likes them talksinging. That's not thin, Lizzie
phill In, it's singing thin Lizzieis for old guys stuck in high school
who also like bad to the bone. He you know right away, stupid
Bryan. That song came up somehowwhen we were together, and I made

a joke about it, and hewas like singing every word, and then
you know what he did. Heset his alarm to that the guitar riff
then, so like the next morninghe had it on full blast because I
was making fun of him so hardfor liking that song, and then to
this day that is still his alarm. I'm like, God, I hate
you so much. I love thathe's trolling you to the bone. He's

freshed. When I was home,his alarm goes off at four point thirty
in the morning, so I'm ina dead sleep and he's got it cranked
us there. Hey, when hewalks the streets, kings and queens step
aside. All right, every womanhe meets and they all stay satisfied,

right, not has sex with everywoman he meets is satisfied with him.
It's funny when people will ask meoccasionally, who's one of the biggest dicks
you've ever met in the course ofyour career. George Thorgood always comes to
the very top of my mind.At least when I met him, he
was a dick, And I'm like, dude, it's not my fault.
You're playing a rib fest, allright, don't take it out on me.

I'm trying to be a cool guyhere. But the great song and
one bourbon, one Scotch, onebeer. But so when he wakes up,
he hears bad of the Bone.That's how he wakes up. But
except it's like from the phone.Also jazz as you own. Yeah,
it also doesn't I don't even knowif I have that her option. But

it's like, I don't think herecorded it or down. I don't even
think he knows how to download music. To be one hundred percent honest with
you, but yeah, it's justso loud. I'm gonna take a quick
sitting straight up in bed. Yeah, with sunglasses on. He throws out

the covers. He's got a leatherjacket on and booth, he's putting his
work gloves on. Yeah, havea good time. I don't even know
him which what it would be calledon on the iPhone, Well, it's
probably just in you go into soundsand tones. Yeah, but you can

look to the bone. What I'msaying, Yeah, Seedling, story Time,
Tease, Tilt, Unfold Valley,those are the defaults you can go
in and grab songs. But Idon't think that he did that. Oh
I see, well he did somethingright. Nope, sorry, sorry,

sorry, it's not that that wasme for a second. But yeah,
it's one of those. I waslike, you're that'd be great tone store.
I bet it's in there, ripples, slow rise, strum maybe Nope,
hold on, no, because it'sso loud, because it's not Oh

man, I'm gonna set that asmy ring toes. Not the song though.
Do you know that's so loud becauseof it? No, I'm not
gonna find it. Huh, it'son there. I mean he has the
same iPhone, I Doe motorcycle.No, yeah, Alan, Brian's not

paying for ring tones, That's whatI'm saying, So it has to be
on the phone. I see,not even ninety nine cents. I don't
think so well. I mean,I haven't done that in a million years.
But they're still in there. Yougo into the I mean I barely
ever use Is iTunes still a thing? I know Apple music is on your
phone if you have an iPhone,but I don't ever use that because they're

the compression on it is weird.I have no idea iTunes, iTunes our
peggio, it's a guitar thing.You guys were talking Stanley Hotel yesterday in
Estes Park. But that is alsowhat excited me about it the most.
That is the bar in the lobbywhere they filmed the scene in Dumb and

Dummer where Jim Carrey's walking out ofthe bar and he sees the framed newspaper
from the first Moon landing and hegoes no Way, and then he walks
out into the lobby and tells everybodythat we landed on the moon. That's
where they shot that. I guesswe thank you, Matt. I guess
we never went to the bar inthe Stanley Hotel. We stayed there some
years ago, and might I mentionedit yesterday because my daughter had been spending

some time out in Colorado. ButI don't remember that No Way cameo word
up in the background, because youknow that's what they'd be playing in that
bar. That's your favorite movie,You'm Mary Dumm and Dummer one of your
favorite Moviesody, Yeah, I lovethat movie. It's so it's so fun.

It's like one of those two whereevery time you watch it, I
feel like I catch onto something newthat I missed before. Yeah, there's
there's so much subtext in that movie. I can see where you could watch
it and that gets not get everything. I mean, every little joke.
My sister actually, I think Imight have told the story before she had
seen the movie dun Dumber, butit wasn't until I took her shopping for

her first set of luggage. Youknow, poor people don't have luggage.
We didn't grow up with a luggageset. You just take a Duffel Biager
back or whatever. And we wentto the Samsonite outlet at Aurora Farms and
she looks at her she goes,Samsonite. I was way off. I
was like, did you not knowthat that's what that reference was? Because
he was looking at a briefcase thatwas made by Samsonite. She was like,
no, but that makes so muchmore sense. H's I thought he

just was reading the name wrong.I was like, no, that's the
brand. Oh she'd never heard ofSamsonite. She had never heard of Samsonite
luggage before. Yeah, yeah,that's how much Brian loves Mary, he
will spend ninety nine cents to annoythe piss out of her. No,
he didn't buy it. No,I don't, And that's what I'm trying
to I don't know. It's veryunlikely. Maybe can you imagine the one
ring tone he ever bought. Imagineit's the one time? Yeah, Bad

of the Bone? Well no,no, just maybe he loves that song
so much. He was playing whatI called old man music, like he
was in charge while we were gettingready out here to go somewhere just for
the day, and he was incharge of the music. And I'm like,
turn this old man music off,and Bad to the Bone was on.
But he doesn't want to listen toeveryone. Fall out, boy,

I know old man music. Dude'sthirty five, isn't It's clear water?
That's great, it's music. It'syou're so annoying. You guys are so?
Is he okay? No he ain't. He's thirty five, thirty seven.
Yeah, he's thirty seven. That'sold enough, and he acts like
an old man fifty two. Butmy wife is forty one and she loves

credence. She's the one. Iwish he could get me into them but
I mean she we share that incommon. She loves that stuff. It's
not when you say old man music. Yes, nobody can argue that it's
good music. Well you to everyoneexactly. You're the only person I've ever
heard of that doesn't like credens likeit. But when you're doing I can't

do it for an hour. I'mlike, all right, man, we
gotta throw something. Wait, theirsongs. Their songs were pretty short.
That's like forty five Creeden songs inone hour. Well that's why you gotta
have like a some things. Mixit up. Man. He was just
on spot five. Yeah, butthere's no mixed things up on Spotify.
Yeah, they do it pretty automatically. I love how you guys are allowed

to say what's good music and what'sit's good. We are saying that that
is a band that has stood thetest of time. There's a reason all
those bands, there's a reason allthose bands are still being heard forty and
fifty years later. It can begood music and old man music. That's
true. You did you got allup in arms. No. I didn't

say yeah, No, I saidyou're annoying because you don't like good music.
It's something I don't like it.It's just an hour of old man's
sixties rock is not what I wantto listen to. I'm not even saying
you don't like good music, becausethat's completely subjective. It's just that these
songs have been around for the jokeused to be back in the day the
freedom rock commercial. She poo pooseverything we like, we hate everything out

We not everything. But I meanmy point is simp that, like,
your boyfriend probably doesn't want to listento whiny early aughts emo. Well,
I like other stuff too, Uhhuh, like early two thousands of hip
hop and R and B. Well, yeah, you're a white might be
his least favorite. Oh well that'sfun too. I don't mind that.
If we're on a long car rideand my wife wants to listen to that,
like on satellite or something, I'mlike, yeah, I'm right there

with you. Someone. It's calledpiano riff, which I still have this
open. The arpeggio one is holdon what you ready? Yes? Oh
it's the piano. Oh that isterrible. It's so loud. Oh I
want to hear the riff. Thisis just my phone next to the microphone.

Oh no, that's terrible four thirtyin the morning. Yeah, four
thirty in the morning. Oh no, that's terrible loud. No. When
I was a kid, they hadFreedom Rock and turn it up, dude,
it was all old man music.Hey man, Freedom Rock. Yeah,
well it one of those got likeAmerican Flag ahead rap on and my

favorite is the punk one. Whichone is that commercially like we can finally
get all our favorite punk songs,and then it's like Talking Heads and souff
oh you know, war Protag goingto jail. Well man, we found
this new album called Freedom Rock.It's got all those great songs we used
to groove two back then. Justlisten, God, y'all, what's the

SNL bit they did on that?It was like, oh god, they
did a bit on SNL that waslike, I forget what it was.
Punk commercial. Yeah, it's PunkCD nineties Commercial Punk CD nineties commercial rock
Lobster from the B fifty twos.It's really makes us, man, it's

wasting money on CDs with one ortwo good songs. Yeah. Yeah,
we got the CD called Punk.It's loaded with our favorite tunes. Man.
Yeah, just listen in excess.Yeah, that's a good song,

but all your favorite punk. ThisPunk CD has thirty six tunes, man,
and I'm telling you they're all right. Yeah, yeah, I wonder
why. The first comment though,is ironically making a punk city with absolutely
no punk is one of the mostpunk things. I can think that is
true. I was gonna say,I wonder why they called it that.

Yeah, Mickey from Well There yougo. They also included another version of
that song on there. Hey,hey, why can't we get all our

favorite punk squire Masonry? That waspunk? Yeah, we were punk.
We had a little new metal inus. Yeah, we weren't ready for
it. I you were ahead ofyour time. Yeap. Call the Alan
Cox show girls. This is youropportunity right here, a nice boy.
Let me tell you that one doubleO seven or three four eight one double

O seven needed a new one.I was waiting for it. I was
like, did he, Oh,he did it? Yeah, I had
to replace the old one. Leaveit to Mary Santora. Guardians are off

tonight. They split that series inCincinnati against the Reds. Reds beat them
last night. They will start upthe weekend series tomorrow up north in Toronto
against the Blue Jays, and thenthey will be back on Tuesday. For
the home series against the Seattle Mariners, and then the Blue Jays come down
here. So next week though,when it's eighty five degrees out there,

a week of progressive field. Whata day for a bowl game. Let's
play two. Now. The movieBad to the Bone makes me think of
the movie Problem Child. It makespeople think of a million movies. That's
the point of Bad to the Bone. I mean, George Thorogood has been
living off that song. I don'tknow why he ever wrote another song.

The royalties from that alone, thelicensing for Bad to the Bone, He's
got to be a very wealthy man. Shout out to Norm he's one of
our bureau chiefs in Detroit who mentionedto me that he was celebrating his one
year sobriety date today. Earl MarySantora is, how is five years?
In? Six years? In fiveyears, three months, five years and

three months? But who's counting?Me? Literally me? All right?
Are you allowed to not count?I don't know why you would want to
not count? But sure it's likea huge, huge accomplishment and a big
deal. So I don't know whyyou wouldn't want to know. I'm just
I'm just is there just asked ifyou were allowed to not count. Is

there any kind of I don't know, it's been a while to your sobriety.
You can do whatever the hell youare. It is one day at
a time. Is there a thingthat you do every day to remind yourself
or you kind of pass that you'reof sobriety through the woods? Yeah,
No, I'm past that that lasttime. I mean, it was hard
when I first quit, and thenit was really hard after my dad died.
But I haven't had a like ahanker and a drink probably since the

year that my dad died. Thatwas, like I can tell because he
used the word hankering a hanger foryou should be listening to this, but
you're just trying to put it havesuch a turn to eleven. No,
the last time I like was reallyworried that I might relapse was right after

my dad died. There was acouple of months there where I was like,
I really shouldn't be going anywhere withthis one with me. But yeah,
I mean even that was twenty twentyone, so it's been a When
you ruin your life to a certainpoint, it's pretty cool to not do
that. Anymore. No, understood, And some people will never get to
that point. Never, you know. They say alcoholism is the only self

diagnosable disease. Yep, yeah,but like some points of their disease be
like I think, I think thisis leprosy, but you can't diagnose it.
Are falling off and stuff, butit could be gang green. How
do you know it's not gang greenversus leprosy? I think it is.

You look down and you go,hey, what is this that I've got?
I don't know what it is,but we're going to figure it out.
My limbs are falling off, Yeah, green baby, probably more black.
You might be able to do herpesself diagnose herpes. You have to
know that it's between like herpes orwarts or an ingrown hair. Right,

But I'm saying like if you were, like, no, the difference you're
real good with Google figured out.You're saying that people can confuse herpes with
an ingrown hair. I have reallythey present the same way. No,
which do you have? Yeah,don't you keep us in suspense. I've
had an ingrown hair and been likethat's definitely herpes. Wow, Like gone

to the doctor and they're like,it is not you see how it's one
one little white head that you wereso sure that you so in your mind,
you were so sure that herpes wasthat possible that you're like, oh,
I've got herpes. Well this wasin like a whole phase. No,
I understand, but it wasn't entirelyimpossible. You weren't having dudes take
care of business. Sometimes when you'reblacking out four nights a week, there's

not a whole lot of just geton top, Holly fantake. Not every
time, but yeah, I feellike people have had that that panic before.
You're like, oh God, whatis this? What does this bump
in my pulvic region? Wow?You've never had that feeling. I've never
had anything like that. You've neverhad an ingrown hair in your not in

my pubic region? No? Really, nope, do you shave? I
do? Wow? No, foryou, you must be a master shaver.
I am yep, nicked myself once. Maybe. Also, don't have
as many flaps and folds as womendo. You don't know what my flaps

and folds are. I mean,that is true, of course, yours
is pretty We've got we've got ourown problems down there. We might not
have flaps and folds, but wegot all kinds of other things. We
are topography is just as mysterious asyou, ladies. I disagree. Well,
that's because you've got that, You'vegot your flaps and folds, you

know, just because ours might bea simpler set. But no, I've
never no. But my point,my point in your comment is, I'm
sure there's a lot of people whohave had an ingrown hair, but they
wouldn't immediately go to I bet that'sherpes. Well okay, maybe not men,
because you get herpies on the shaft, whereas women, if you get
it, people only get it.We've had doctor Bergland stopping in here for

a decade. You can get herpeson your pelvis. It's like a boy
can I'm not sure. I'm notsure how it works for men, But
like women, if you shave yourlabia and you nick something down where everything's
going on, yeah, you knowthat could be like, oh what is
this? What's happening right now?H wow? You're not getting anywhere near

where. I don't know. Soyou were so obviously you were relieved to
find out that it was an ingrownhair. Oh yeah, did you google
image search? Oh? Yeah,yeah, you web ended it. Well,
that's the other thing with women isthat we got to like, you
know, like sit all spread eaglein front of a mirror, well right,
or like get handheld in order tosee what's going on down there,

right, or pay like a neighborhoodkid to do it for you. No,
that's illegal. I guess it dependson what state you live in.
You know, child marriage is onlyit's only illegal in twelve states in the
Union. So a whole bunch isup for grabs. That's marriage, not
Hey, come look at this bump. Well, tell me what you think.

If you're marrying a fifteen year old, she's gonna have to come look
at your bump. One of ourbureau chiefs in the great state of Missouri,
the show me state, by theway, send me the story about
a couple of cops with the Knine unit who were looking for a guy.
There was a felony warrant out forhim, and so they were trying

to find him and arrest him.This is a guy who was wanted for
possession of a controlled substance and theywere closing in on him. They knew
kind of the area where he was, but they couldn't find him, and
they the guy was hiding, andthey determined where he was because he farught.
He farted so loudly that they wereable to zero in on his on

his location. I mean, youthink the canine dog would have figured out
where the guy was. Is thecanine unit? Isn't the dog gonna know
where the guy? You know wherethey brought him out here? You go
find this guy. I mean theyfound him by sound, but if it
had been an SBD, the dogwould have found him, right, he

would have smelled it. I don'tknow if that they smell like your scent,
like your skin, but they smelleverything else. You think that they
smell because you've got to have anarticle of clothing to get the dog use
of the scent, right, unlessthat article of clothing is soiled. Panties

referred to grooming themselves. Tell Maryto try shaving a walnut sometime. Uh,
well, that's when you've got todigitally manipulate things to make sure that
you're not taught. Ude, haveyou been taught nothing? I don't believe
shaving balls is harder than it's becauseyou've never done it. Dude, have

you ever tried to shave an inflatedballoon without popping it. Have you ever,
Okay, you can't pop a balllike that. Don't tell us what
we can and can't do. Explainto us how our balls. Yeah,
girls splain ar testicles to us,masplaining, mare splaining. But like,

everybody's got their own issues. There'sbically no doubt about that. Everybody's got
their own issues right handful of us. Some of us have, So we
say, shaved our ladies, butyou got to be very very very careful,
and nobody's gonna do it better thanthe person themselves. Well, I

never had problems like well, everynow and then i'd get an ingrown hair,
right, But like once I started, I waxed for a year and
then I got what's called sugaring donefor a year. Yeah, and I
had more problems with waxing than Ihave ever had with anything in my entire
life. Like every time I gota wax, I had multiple ingrown hairs.

My skin was super irritated. AndI did it for a year because
they were like, oh, yourskin just needs time to get used to
it, and it'll all blah blahblah and then it'll stop growing back all
the good repeat customers. None ofthat's true. Like it's gonna grow back,
it's gonna grow back thinner, andit's gonna grow back. It won't
go back at all in some places. And I'm like, not for a
whole year. What a lie?Miserable Alan flaps unfolds. Sounds like a

breakfast restaurant. Ah, that's prettygood. Somebody left me a message about
when we were talking about I thinkrich down in Jacksonville we were talking about
breakfast for dinner and that whole thingbecause he was in the military. Allen,
this is rich Down and Jacksonville,Flora. Listening back to the podcast

from yesterday. You guys are discussingbreakfast for dinner and dinner for breakfast.
Walls Overseas and Iraq, we gotmidnight rations or mid rats. They would
serve you breakfast and dinner at thesame time. Uh. People getting off
posts or having to go on thepost, they get, you know,
their option to meal choice. Iwould always get a fully loaded omelet covered
in rice and gravy and a steakon the side, and then just crashed

immediately afterwards to the show by anomelet with steak and rice. Yeah,
Wow, and gravy is what hesaid. Omelet with gravy and steak and
rice. And I'm sure it wasall high quality. You go right into
a coma after that one. Butbad to the bump. Somebody suggested that

for the theme song to the bump. Yeah, okay, Well I've learned
something from all of that. Ihad no idea that that was how that
all played out. Oh that peoplelook at an ingrown hair and go,
hey, I might have herpes peoplediagnosis. I had a like a rug

burn or you know, yeah,sure like that. I was like,
hello, and I got that checkedout and just a little a little Brazian,
don't worry about. On the farttopic, I got an email from
Jason. He said his luck wouldhave it. I was leaving work when
I found myself with one in thechamber. As I empty entered an empty

parking garage stairwell, I figured thiswas a great opportunity to try my hand
at it. Ps burn and hellfish rules. All right, Well,
see what he's got going on here. There's a guy yesterday on the funny
bus bought me a shot at whenwe stopped the flat Iron Flat Iron.
He was like, nothing makes melaugh out out except your stairwell fault.

Stairwell fart, that's the only thought. My stairwell fart is what makes him
laugh out loud every time you playit. What shot did he buy?
Fireball? Oh? Nice bringing thatback? Huh? All right, here's

Jason's empty parking garage stairwell flatulence.Jesus, Wow, that's a panty moistner
right there. That one. Ifeel like he was too was he holding

the phone next to his butt?Is too loud for you? Well,
I feel like we we didn't getthe reverberation the way I would have liked.
I want to hear the room alittle bit. Well, this is
and this is why an empty parkinggarage it's not enclosed enough that sound is
gonna go. Well could but astairwells enclosed. But then he's empty parking

garage stairware Well yeah, but yeah, okay, I mean it might be.
It depends because sometimes those are openair and sometimes they're not. Yeah,
this one sounds like it was prettyopen air and you weren't getting a
huge reverberation. Still, great fart, he said it. Really it really
solidifies the effect and necessary environment ofa sterwell to enhance the natural resonant beauty

fart where audiophiles are fark fans cometogether. All right, well that's something
I don't know if that's gonna makeuh, mister fireball shot laugh like bills
Star fireball. Wow, good foryou. I'm always surprised when a place

is still selling fireball. It justseems like one of the I mean,
do people order that with any regularity? I don't know. It's first shot
of fireball I've done in a tisYeah yeah, and he chose it,
yeah yeah, because hey, let'sdo anyone to do something fast, you
know, because we only got afew minutes at the bar. Yep.

Yeah. Some fireball is quicker thanother liquors. Well, some people want
to get like I'm thinking of shots. It takes the same amount of time.
Not if people get a mixed shot. Oh, a mixed shot.
An we're only there for like fifteenminutes. But some people like U h,

like, don't do that to thosepeople. Can we bring a lot
of people into the flatire there's alwaysit's always funny because like that's the halfway
point. If you can join uson the funny bus and everybody gets out
and people hit the head or whatever. But there's always people in there just
having dinner. But yeah, becauseit's summertime and it's nice and you know,
but don't get up there in ordera mixed shot. Just goat Tekuila,

thank you, Fireball, thank you. I just got a text from
a bar that I work that Ido shows at, like tonight, High
and Dry, eight pm, freeshow, Come on out, always fun.
Marty's going to be there, Marty, and he said he sells four
bottles a fireball a week. Wow, people are still doing it, man,

Well clearly, I just wasn't sure. It's just not when I ever
hear anyone ordering or listen. I'mthe guy who mark I saw you running
yesterday on the funny bus. Iwas the guy who got h was standing
there with his pants down buying thatfun bucket of fireball bottles that I still
have in my basement. But then, as luck would have, they determined

that that's mostly not fireball, right, it's something else. It's like Andy
Freeze with cinnamon in or something.Microplastics. Micro plastics is when I'm fining.
That's how I had it here.But it was just microplastics. Hey,
what's all this sugar ring around mymidsection. Microplastics, they say,

And again, I don't know howthey extrapolate these things out there. But
you know, because microplastics now isin everything and everyone, there was something
going around that said that people willeat a credit card's worth of plastic in
a year now, And I don'tAgain, I don't know how they arrive

at that. I don't know howthey extrapolate that out These are micro plastics,
right, These aren't Orbi's balls inyour mouth. I mean these are
like teeny tiny microscopic hence the micropart. What's a little plastic in your system?
Like the people who are chugging downtwinkies all of a sudden they're concerned
about microplastics. What do you thinkthose are made of? Those are science

experiments. It's not food, justsome stuff, just made out of some
stuff, some sweets. The waythat Nickelback and Reed are having a renaissance,
I I think this is going tobe the summer that Fireball makes a
comeback. You think so, becauseit's the uh, well, Nickelback never

really went away renaissance, but well, Nickelback became like a joke to a
lot of people. Where the worstband and then you were still selling out,
but they're still selling it. Butnow I don't even hear people making
that joke anymore, because I thinkpeople have come full circle on Nickelback.
That's what I'm saying. They're like, all right, yeah it was actually
got all along, or they justhung out long enough where they're like,

yeah, it's no fun anymore.I mean, Creed actually broke up,
you know, like they couldn't keepit together. But I think that gen
Z they're gonna start, They're gonnabe like, you know what, let's
do some fireball shots. I mean, I was reading that gen Z is
bringing back the tramp stamp, solet's just go full on. Let's bring

everything back. Everything old is newagain, the double studded beltzer but yeah,
yeah, the big barrel jeans.Those have been back for a minute.
Do I get rid of any ofit? Do you know what I
mean? Do you want to dresslike a kid? Now? Maybe maybe
I do? Bill who knows?Yeah, inventing from gen Z. Girls

are bringing back the tramp stamp.Good for them, but you can't call
it that. So what I wantto know is what new fangled name they're
gonna give it or door because becausein you know, in the twenty fourth
in the twenty first century, youcan't call it a tramp stamp anymore.
Right, that's very misogynistic. Youcan't call it that anymore. That's not

going to be the preferred nomenclature.But if they're bringing it back, I
don't want to know what they're callingit. Bratt tat Maybe maybe I was
reading an article about how tattoo artistsare saying that more and more and more
they're getting requests for tramp stamps fromlike gen Z girls. They're reclaiming their

time lower back tattoo LBT. Idon't know what they'll call it, an
online magician of the Air, helpme off the area. The Aaron Kirk

Show on MS. Mom was stuff. Mom was stuff too. She made
a cock cry once you know whyI pulled you over. I am not
a mind right, I miss her. I was speeding so I wouldn't be

late. Now I'm not going toget there at all. Get back in
that car and think about what youdid me. My brothers are in the
back, like, oh, don'tshoot her. It just makes her mad.
Those bullets better be silver. Sheain't gone down. I feel bad
for my mother. Oh she reallywanted was a normal family, and she
didn't even come close. I gottwo younger brothers and we were little.

Our favorite game was look at thevein in Mommy's head. We start activating
her early in the morning. Bythe end of the day that vein was
throbbing. My father would come homeand she'd be like, just do something
about your children. All right,honey, just sit down before that pops
get in here. I'm gonna tellyou kids a story about family. Your
mother and I wanted you kids.We had three because I knew today would

come when I'd have to kill oneof you. There's Adam Ferrara. He
was the one who lived. Hewas not killed by mom and dad.
Yes, and you know what,I family's still intact. I assume.
Yes, I'm no longer touring withZeppelin, but that was that was a
throwback. We were having the conversationearlier about bands. Let you'll hear Mary

Santora and your headphones stairs, howare you? We were having the conversation
early and you can probably assume onwhich side we all respectively fell about bands
like Credence and Thin Lizzy and howthat's old man music. It is,
which it is, but it doesn'tmake it any less amazing and awesome.
And you know, and you knowwhat still being played. Well that's why

I said, I go. There'sa reason these songs are still around fifty
years long. O Oh, Town'snot Tory the Fallout Boy fortieth anniversary tourist
decades from now. You can getyour individual spice. But the girls have
Lowell left the rack. So yeah, Adam Ferrara is doing the weekend at

Hilarities. It's been a minute sincewe've seen ya. A lot has happened
in that time. She said,I'm going to be in the headphone Mary
lasts. That's right. Adam,of course is a comedian, he's an
actor. Yes, he's a lapseCatholic or current Catholic, covering recovering Catholic.
I always say lapsed. But Iwent home to Chicago over the weekend

because Monday this past was the secondanniversary of my dad passing away, and
so there's this memorial mass, right, So I make the drive seven a
m with my whole family, mymom and my siblings, and it's fine,
but it's like I'm in a foreigncountry when I sit in church,
now you know what I mean.Same with my brother he goes, I'm
so uncomfortable, and I'm like,it's it's for mom. It's not for

us, it's for our mom.But it is. It's like I'm being
spoken to it a foreign language.Yeah. Also, it's like when my
family goes for midnight Mass. Youknow, they kill a box of wine
right pre game for midnight Mass.They walk in and my aunt's like,
is it all bench seating? Who'sthat? You know? Yeah? The

lows, Yeah, everything except there. But yeah, well I'm sorry here
about you. Yeah. Well yourdad pass away too, did Yeah?
Yeah, you and Mary and Iare all in the Dead Dad's club.
Marry you too. Reppin hard Man, Okay, let me tell you this.
My father, I was with himfor the whole ride. Yeah,
so I said, Pop, I'lltake care of everything. He's like,
don't put me in the ground.His worm's down there. I'm like,

I'm not going to throw you onthe side of the highway like a dead
witness, right, I will siliconthe box and screw it shut. No
one's going to get He goes,Nah, I took care of everything and
it takes me the toolbox in hisgarage. He opens up his toolbox.
There's a little brochure in there.Yeah, he opens up, he goes,
you see that? What hell wasthat? It's like it's a crypt?
I go, what are you remaining? Duke? He's a vampire.

He bought a cru Well, goodfor him. He bought this thing.
She's showing me. He's so proudof me. Look at that family crest?
Is that our family? He's like, I picked it out of the
book. But he's in this crypt. He's like, it's above ground,
waterproof. He brought this thingers,this is where your mother and I are
gonna rest in peace. I'm like, you don't get along in a four
bedroom house, right, You're goingto spend eternity in this concrete bunker.

I mean, Mom, you mightas well make it like a ball or
move because that's you're not going anywhereafter that. No, that's it.
But that's what he's got. Sowhat is the alleged for our family crest?
What did he pick out? Itlooks like a caddy emble. To
be honest with you, it lookslike from a coop Deville. It's a
cryptoville. Yes, it was yourdad driving Cadillacs. Oh you know Italians

from New York. That was thebig thing we had, had the plumbing
truck. And he always had acaddy. It was always used, but
he always had My mother always drovethe caddy. So my first car was
a seventy coup Deville that my fatherturned into the plumbing truck because my mother
flipped a benson and hedges out thewindow. We didn't know went back in,
like it went out and came backin. Yep. We wake up

the next morning this smoke coming outof the car because it was in the
back. It in the back.It looked like we elected a pope.
Smoke. Yeah, and my fatherI go out put this thing out.
We rip out the back seat andhe figures out we can get links of
pipe from the trunk through the braceand lay them underneath the dashboard and we
could run pipe back and forth tothe job. So that was the plumbing
truck. Wow, look at that. I took my road test in that

when it was the plumbing truck.There was pipes and tools and my father's
like, don't hit the brakes becausethe torch will come and hit you.
Back in a half that probably failyou for me, Yeah, they might
not consider it road worthy as you'reout there. Yeah, I had this.
I passed because I think the guysaid, I am not getting back
in his call. Yeah. Myfather in law is one of those guys
too. He's not an Italian guyfrom Longile, a Polish guy from Detroit.

But I mean always drives used caddiesright because he's like, no must,
no fuss whatever, It's fine.But your dad was that guy,
right to fix it? Kind ofdude, Like my dad was that guy.
And I'm just standing there. WhenI was a kid, I so
wanted to absorb that information. Mysiblings got kind of that grease monkey Jeane.
I never got it. I'm kindof standing there. He's like light.

I'm like I was you know thatjob? Yes, all right,
the first thing you want to dois this, And then he wouldn't say
a word for twenty five minutes andhe goes all right. Next, I'm
like, why you did so much? Well? Yeah, did you see
your father trying to talk talk theflight and then at the landing the plane
when the pilot passes out, allright, lift your I bring it in

what my dad could fix anything.Yeah, he just and the cars always
worked and I don't have it.I don't either. And when I was
on when I was on top Gear, I got to I got to get
any car and wart. Yeah,so I got to pick up all these
cars. And I remember once wefought over an eighty seven Grand National Buire
Grandma gn X, and I'm drivingthe thing and I think it's electronically limited

for one hundred and twenty seven.Think it got up to like one hundred
and twenty. I blew the headgasket. So yeah, coming out,
Oh, here was my father's voice, gone, ah, you see,
look at what you did. WhatI tell you about acceleration. Just hear
his voice over and over. Washe gone by the time you did top
Gear? Okay? Because he wouldhave loved Oh my god, he was.
He passed right before I got it. I was talking. I was

in negotiations to do it, andit was the audition process, so I
was doing that. Yeah, andthen then he passed away. But he
would have loved. Was he ableto were you able to consult with him
at all to make it sound likeyou knew more than you did or they
never really asked I could do Icould change the oil. Yeah, I
can gap a spark plug, Ican smack the selenoid, can get the
start of the turnover after that,but I'm not pulling ahead. I yeah,

but they never really I didn't haveto fix anything. They wanted you
there for the face. That's notso much the autumn handy. That's what
you want. Mary was here.Yeah, look at this. Yeah yeah,
top gear. That must have beenI mean Adam Ferrari, you've seen
him. I mean Rescue Me.I remember that. That was one of
the Rescue You. Was one ofthe first shows that I remember binging on

d v D was Rescued Wow.The Shield and Rescue Me. Those were
the two big ones on DVD.The nice thing about that show is you're
always in something. I always seeyou in something. Oh thank you,
I just did and see you saidthis season for ye. It's nice when
you when you show up because likea lot of the crew guys know the
show. Yeah, so you'll hearpeople walking around and the director will like

a like the second or third dayof shooting, they're like, what's top
cu because because old car guys aretelling stories and asking questions and showing pictures
of your cards and stuff. It'sa front fraternity. So talking about Buick.
By the way, every time Isee a Buick commercial, I go,
how are there still Buicks around?And then I read a thing that
it was just a flip of acoin. Whatever these automotive company mergers were.

They were looking at the brands theyhad three or four they were gonna
get rid of. They go,we're gonna stop making these, and Buick
was just one. They go,it's got some legacy. So they were
like, we're gonna stop making sobs. Yeah, and we're gonna stop making
Saturns or something, and Buick wasthe one that was left. So I'm
like, wow, when GM wentbankrupt, Yeah, the reason Buick survived.

But this must be what I wasreading about is because they sell them
in China. Is that what itis? Global market? Then okay,
Pontiac they got rid of Pontiac.Pontiac. Pontiac was supposed to be like
the performance division of GM. Okay, so that's why you know that must
have been I paraphrase it poorly,but that's what I was reading about.
But yeah, they were then Iflipping coins. They're looking at the spreadsheets,
gone right, yes, yeah,but but to point when I see

these commercials, there's all kinds ofcars that are sold everywhere but the United
States. Oh he's still selling themhere, like you know, and I'm
like, that's a good looking car. I mean, it would never occur
to me. But you know,we shot in Cuba. We did an
episode again in Havana. Yeah,where the cars are all still from the
fifties? Is they still American graffiti? Yeah? Fly down there. First
of all, they flies that outof Florida. We fly and the planes
that are flying to Cuba, they'renot new, right, they're not new,

and the rules are a little bitdifferent. There are you flying back
and there's people putting like all kindsof stuff in the overheads. It's like
luggage, refrigerated bicycles, relatives,everyan. He's just going up and we
land in Havana. The pilot getsout, runs out, kisses the ground,
and goes we again. Anyone youwalk away from is good, so

so, and we were like aboy band down there. Because here's what
I didn't know is they load upAmerican TV on thumb drives and they bring
them back and they pass them aroundCuba. So oh really they knew the
show. But these embargoes aren't likea thing anymore down there, are they?
I mean this was he did itwhen Conan was just there. Before
we were there. It was openedup all bit. So we got down
there and they're all from because theembargo was what sixty one? Yeah round,

that's why all those cars from allthe fifties of it, and they're
all bondo and they're always wiping themdown because there's no because we drove those
guys cars and they said, lookthere's no pep Boys, there's no Orisley.
You know you you you break afan belt, we got to use
what we gotta use your belt?Yeah, so everything is Frankenstein together.
So they got all these American cars, but they yanked the motors out and

they put in these diesels, powerstroke diesels because they can get them.
Yeah, so they everything is thenthey got to make things. They took
us to this guy. We wentback into the woods. He's got this
little shop and if you need likea washer or a gasket, he's got
rubber he takes he takes old tireswith a machete and that's where he gets
the rubber. And he's got he'sgot like a a compressor from a refrigerator,

and that's that's his wheel. Heputs the rubber on the wheel,
he takes a piece of glass andhe eyebawls it and he cuts it.
Wow. While you sit there,he's making us forget it right, it
right, right, because a lotof practice. Yeah, but but it's
not like I had a fifty fiveforward fair lane. That was the car.
The seat was like, I don'tcare I tell you how to seat.
Don't move right, that's that's it. Yeah. And you get and

you shift because it's a power strokethat you punch it again and that's it.
Yeah, And you got to becareful because that's the livelihood. Taxi
drivers make more money than doctors nowthen sure, the biggest, the most
coveted car, and Rutt drove itwas a a station wagon because you can
make more because they charge you perperson driving people around more people, give

more people. Yeah, make moremoney from the run. On the subject
of a kind of circling back briefly, when when uh, something common thread
that you and Mary have is tryingto because I assume that you did,
is trying to make the death ofa parent funny. Yeah, which you
know, in the initial stages ofit, Mary would tell here on the

show, would talk about how thedifficulty she I don't want to speak for
her, but the difficulty she washaving and taking that and going, I
know, I can make this funny, but it's that old tragedy plus time
thing, and then you've got tofigure out, well how much time?
I mean, I assume the audienceis telling you. But yeah, but
that had to have been an elementof your story. I started to talk
about it too early? Is thatwhat it was? Too? Man?

How early did you do it?I next day? Yeah, it wasn't
It might be like a month.I waited like a month before I talked
about it, and then even forlike a month or two after that,
I was still crying when I gotoff stage. Well, what happened to
me was I I can make Sincemy wife always says, you know,
when I ask her what's Adam thinking, I don't know what he's thinking till
I see his act, you know, because that's what he's really thinking.

That's when I can process. Yeah. So I wanted to get to the
stage quick because I wanted to heal. You know, that's my safe place.
So I wanted if I could getto that place where it was funny,
I think I would be all right. I think it's a good place
to process things. Yeah. So, but it was way too early.
Way it wasn't funny. Uh.And I couldn't find a funny way in,
uh until I wrote a joke aboutmy dad being a ghost. Like

ah, way got it. Youknow, Hamlet was visited by the ghost
of his father, right. Westill talked to Alan's dad from time to
time. Yeah, yeah, throughthe because of technology, magic of technology.
Yeah, this is your further speakingfrom new lecture. You know,
my dad occasionally will come through,you know, like a like a voice
in the night. It's uncanny howAI works these days. Yeah. But

you once you found the way in, like you said, you were like,
oh now I'm off and running.But it's still like it'll still.
But then it got me like Iwas in a I remember I was in
a rented car somewhere and for somereason, I don't know, it just
got me that my dad was andI it was sadness, but it was
a lot of anger and I waspunching the I punched out the dome light
in. I just bang. Ijust punching the headline and all was sudden
hit the domelight. My own Iused to do that is a round car

though. Yeah, I took theinsurance. Hey the fifty box. Yeah,
you're good to go. His momstill around. Yeah, Oh I
had a rentic Okay, I'm inNew York City, right, Yeah,
rented car. I gotta go driveout to this gig. So I rent
the car. I'm going out thetunnel and you know, the merge.
You got to kiss a zipper.I go, you go, I go,
you going. So there's a guyin S class Mercedes and it's the
windows are all smoked out and he'sinching, inching. I'm like, hey,

we know, we know the socialcontract. I let the Volvo in.
Now, you're not gonna get me, mister. He's doing it,
doing it, and I know he'sI know, I know he can hear
me because the skylight's open and thevape smoke is coming up right. So
it's getting to the point and overand I'm not backing off. I'm going
taking my turn. I'm not backingoff. All of a sudden it comes
to the point of no return andI just rolled down the pass your window

and I held that this is arented car with full insurance for twenty four
ninety nine. I'm gonna ruin yourwhole day. Let me in. Yeah,
I let you in. I likethe guys who you see in the
on the side of rear view flyingup, Yeah, to get in at
the last minute. Yeah, they'renot gonna wait now, you're going to

fly up last minute and then andthen then Oh but I'm sorry they let
her know what's going on. Yeah, I did. That's my move.
I did a hundred. I didone hundred and seventy three miles an hour
at a Lamborghini Hurricane on the autoble. Wow, the auto bods, it's
a regular highway. Yeah, it'slike it's a two lane road. And
in that car you probably feel likeyou're going forty five miles. Yeah,

if the car's made to do right. It's not shaking right, it's screaming.
I mean I realized that there's someguy in like a Volkswagen Golf,
just going to work. He leansover to change the radio station. It's
all over. Yeah, just thisyellow just flying right past. What was
the first car you ever really openedup like out in the salt flats or
whatever you're doing a Lamborghini super Gera. Did it freak you out to go

that fast? Yeah? I wouldif you look on YouTube, because you
know you go ninety I think youyeah, you know. I did one
hundred and eighty. Uh and youjust put your foot in it and you
hold on. And it was paddleshifted, so I was shifting with the paddles
and every time, every time Iwould shift, the shot cload throw me
back and yeah, I used theeffort. Yeah, right on YouTube and
I'm just just screaming. And aroundone hundred and forty miles in pads and

stuff, and I don't know,I don't know how it was shot or
what we basic cable. We'd havemoney for lunch. No, it's regular
seatbelt. If Adam dies, that'san extra sandwich over services for somebody.
Yeah. So, but around onehundred and forty miles an hour, car
starts getting light. Yeah, youcan feel it, even though even Lambergai
that's why it's so low, thosesupercours, but you can feel them coming

up and you just I did onehundred and eighty eight in an F twelve
Berlinetta Ferrari, so in around onehundred I remember that vividly because around one
hundred and eighty eight and you're justnot flying. It's not too straight speak.
You're talking to the cameras. Yeah, right, sure. So around
one hundred and eighty eight I sensedthe speed wobble, but those you don't
know where speed wobble is. Yougot your hand on the wheel and all
of a sudden you're like, hey, what's that. Damn, that's what

that is. So I lifted atone hundred and eighty eight. It's a
two hundred and eleven mile an hourcar, and as soon as I took
my foot off the gas, theFerrari just said take him away. He
bowls men like back to the future. You're back to nineteen fifty five on
that car. I'll tell you thisthe I have. I got my drag

racing license because we did an episodewhere I was at the Great Lakes Dragway.
Yeah, so you gotta get yourlicense. And it's all trans breaks,
which means there's no throttle. Youjust rev up the motor, you
take your foot, you take yourhand off the trans break, which is
like this big button and it justreleases all the power and you just fly
and the edges get like the MillenniumFalcon. It looks like like the hyper
Lee edges, the hyper Speed.That's what we would So we did that

right, So I got to dothat and you're strapped in, you're in
a harness and you feel it throwingyou back. I got more motion sickness
in a must in a Maki,the electric Mustang, the GT Performance.
When I drove that on the street, and when I punched that, that
threw me back in the seat,and I got motion sickness in that professional
drags to I was fine, you'refine. Yeah, what is your wife

drive? My wife has she hasa We have an eight E three fifty.
We got an Almos say she likes. I also have a nineteen ninety
LS four hundred the first year aLexus came out nice with that, and
I bought the piano car from ifyou watch if you did watch the show
top yea, it was an oldbuy a Buick Electric nineteen seventy deuce in
a quarter you have like a yougot a big storage spot, you're like

Seinfeld Junior or anything like that.I don't have the budget. Well,
I don't getting out the space.And you're doing well you're a big star.
What are you talking about? Comeon, you're doing hilarities all week
I am come down and see meSunday. Sunday, come down for Father's
Day. So I bought the oldbuick right, it's eighteen feet five inches.
I got three Yeah, I gotthree garages at my house and it

doesn't fit in any of them.So it's outside with a cover. But
that's how the electro got its name, the two twenty five, and it's
two hundred and twenty five inches.Nice. I painted black chair metallic.
I dropped the suspension, I smokedout the windows, and I drive around
Santa Monica and I played Parliament Funkadelicand scare white people. It's easy to
do these days, especially with Bootsy. Yeah. Yeah, that's good stuff.

There's that car. We have tosell out. Adam Ferrara is doing
hilarities this weekend. You can goto hilarities dot com. You can go
to Adam Farara dot com. Yes, bring your father down, Father's Day.
Where are we? What are wegoing to see you in next?
Because you're always in the season finaleof NCIS. I think they're rerunning so
the Mark Harmon thing. Yeah,that was Mark Harmon And that's what I

say, Mike. They brought mycharacter back. I played this guy on
that show called Sloppy Joe. Sammylike it. I'm a bookie in a
food trip. Yes, Slappy jewso, yes, that's coming up.
I got a new special that Iwill be filming in a few months,
so I'll let you know when thatcomes out. Please do come back and
play, Yeah, please do.It's great to see you. Always good
to see you. Check out mypodcast The Adam for a podcast thirty minutes

you'll never get back anywhere. Podcastsare served up wherever you get your podcasts.
Hello, We're glad you're here.If you need assistance or just have
a question, our associates will beglad to help you anytime. Call The
Alan Cox Show two one six seveneight one double O seven or one seven.

I am bored. I'm the chairmanof the board. I'm a link,
I'm living like a dog. Boardze stupid nice just another store three.

By the way, you want toget a text into me if you're
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If you're listening on iHeartRadio, letme know where you do that.
I'd like to know where people areif they're on a state. Guardians are

off tonight, they're on their wayto Toronto. They will start up the
weekend series against the Blue Jays andabout a week later blue Jays will be
here in town. So three gamesthis weekend, then the Guardians come back
to host the Mariners and then theBlue Jays at the grist Field and you'll
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the month of June is the wordCardinal. For people who are asking me,
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Boy, the Celtics are blowing theMavericks out. Oh, this is such
a boring fi. I thought thiswas going to be like a really fun
back and forth for people who arewatching the NBA Championship Game and the MAVs.
They're just bending over man. Theymade a good comeback last week as
they're down twenty one in the fourthquarter, and I was like, I

think we turned this game off andthen they got back and then they at
least made it kind of close atthe end, but Luka Doncic fouled out.
It's has been really just like thelast round wasn't good. The first
the playoffs started off pretty decent,but the Eastern Conference in Western Conference finals

were pretty bad, and then thischamp the finals is just garbage unless you're
a Celtics fan, which hey,you're high five. Any show very good?
Is Jason Kids still their coach inDallas? Yes, okay, well
yeah, I thought it was goingto be more exciting, and thus far
it has not been. So I'mcurious what's going to happen with Kyrie Irving

and the people who now own theMavericks, because you know, they their
deal with Mark Cuban is that hewould still essentially run the team, but
he turned over ownership to the Adolsen'sand they are for the most part,
huge, huge right wing donors,and I'm wondering if the you know,

they for the most part they kindof leave Kyrie alone to be a goof
and that's putting it mildly, butthere's gonna be something happening there where he's
going to run a foul of whatthose owners think. You know, Mark
Cuban has kind of run interference fora while for Kyrie Irving. But he's
gonna say something, which he invariablydoes, that's going to piss a lot

of people off. And it's gonnabe interesting to see what happens with the
people who own that team, becausethat's the ultimate show of how much they
value you is if they're you know, if they hang in. And I
don't know how well he's I don'tthink he's gonna get He's playing really well
for them, So I think aslong as he's selling tickets and you know,

performing at a high level, they'regonna be like, Hey, we
don't care what he says. He'smaking the team money. Yeah, Hey,
Mike from Mike from Parma, buta Mike from Karma and the guys
were talking about Chestnut getting banned onTuesday but Live Monday, September second,

Chestnut versus Kobyashi Unfinished beat the Battleof the Century. The Glisi Gladiators go
at its Claddy. Oh is thathappening? Chestnut? And I thought Kobayashi
retired. Is this just because JoeyChestnut can't do the Fourth of July?

I don't know. It must beanything about this Joey Chestnut to face to
Karu Kobyashi. I never knew hisfirst name. He's the guy from the
Usual Suspects in Labor Day Hot DogBattle. They're ready to eat in the
same arena for the first time sincetwo thousand and nine. Between the two
of them, they have a combinedtwenty two mustard belts in the Nathan's Famous

hot Dog Eating Contest an All BeefHot Dog Battle September two on Netflix.
Ah, where are they gonna dothis? They don't have a location yet.
All right, just when you thoughthe was out, they pulled him
back in. Kobayashi. He saidhe was retiring from competitive eating due to

health concerns. What took him solong? Kobayashi says, my retirement will
only happen after I take him downone last time live on Netflix. You're
gonna watch this live on Netflix?No? No, as Yeah, it

makes me feel icky, and therearen't a lot of things that make me
feel icky but watching a food competition. But again, listen, this is
perfect for Netflix. You know,they've gotten themselves into the live streaming arena
now and now that Joey Chestnut hasbeen banned for the fourth of July.

See, it's smart to do thisin September because imagine the fourth of July
in twenty twenty four, where thereare multiple cities on the western part of
the country right now that are consistentlyin triple digits, right I think,
okay, yeah, just did youfollow? Bill was so surprised at that

fact that he fell over Momentarily Phoenix, Vegas, eastern side of California.
There triple digit heat right now.For people who live in those cities.
It's nothing out of the ordinary,but it's going to be more and more
normal like that. You know,you go to Vegas, it's like standing

behind delivery truck's tailpipe and not movingeverybody. It's dry, Like, yeah,
well it's gonna get a lot drier. It's still really hot. So
September is pretty smart. Again,I don't know where they're doing this,
but imagine those kind of temperatures andyou're eating hot dogs. No, you're

not eating hot dogs. You're well, you're jamming them into your ear.
The marriage sound, that's what you'redoing them. The you're like like pelicans
or those animals that drop food straightdown their throat, but in duck.
Yeah, imagine triple digit temperatures andyou're in a competitive eatings, competitive eating

situation. Wow, So I guessit's smart for them to do it in
September. Even next week. Wetalked about the heat dome that's moving up
this way and toward parts of theEast Coast. So those temperatures that they've
already had in like Houston, partsfarther south and west, it's all moving

this way. So like the midAtlantic region, the Ohio Valley region,
it's gonna be ninety five in NewYork next week, So gross temperatures of
at least ninety degrees all next weekout here. You know, you just
kick at the kiddie pool. Maybethat's what you should do back in your

alley there where there's like raccoons andpeople getting into the garbage. Would just
put a fill up a kidti poolback there. No, I mean,
don't dismiss it out of hand.It's arguably one of the best ideas I've
ever had. You don't have alot of good ideas. That's why it's
easier to shoot to number one.There's not a lot of competition. But

I feel it's just me. Ifeel confident that you filling up a kiddie
pool in the back alley of yourapartment is the greatest idea I've ever had.
I feel like that will make mea target for for people who want
to have a good time and cooloff. Yeah, you're right, rapists,

You're welcome rapists midday Are there isrape a mid day crime? I
think when there's nine million people inNew York, Huh, probably it's happened
at least once in the middle ofthe day. All right, well,
okay, there are no problems,there are only solutions. So what if
because see you're envisioning yourself, Iwould imagine in like a one piece in

the kiddie pool. What if you'refully clothed. Well, it's hot outside,
so I don't want to wear butyou're in a kiddie pool, heavy
wet. My big clothes are heavyand wet. My full body clothes,
Yeah, I don't need that.It's gonna be a way around this,
because I really don't want to letthis go because it's such a good idea

on my part. What is theanswer in the house and turn on the
air conditioning. That doesn't get youwet? I don't need you don't know
what gets me wet? Oh?Comfort, Oh comfort gets you all right?
Well listen, then I'm done givingyou amazing ideas. Thank you appreciate.

Is your pool that you have inyour apartment building? Don't be annoying?
Oh do you have a pool inyour spot? Bills? Like I
was gonna say, you're in anold daycare bills? Got why don't you
go swim lamps in the morning?Mary, turn on some I think that

I got a new voice. Iwas gonna say, she's really nailing your
voice. It's different. Yeah,it's a little deeper. It's a little
more, a little more professorial aboutit, like you're oh, my name
is like I have a bitter wait. Is he from the south or is
he just it's just what comes out. Well, it's your voice, I

mean, and you've changed it,so you clearly had something in mind.
Well, because he's being more uhuh, the soity toity, no toity,
end toity, condescending, the ohbut god, they've built that one
is when he's been annoying. Well, I didn't take it as condescension.
He was, Yes he was,But it's not a bad idea. Just

go to the pool where you live. I don't have a pool where I
live all I don't either, Butif he told me to do that,
I would just my answer be thesame. I don't have a pool where
I live, not in my backyardanyway, I have a pool where you
live. I mean, it doessound pretty sweet, it's very nice and
I'm not even really a swimmer,but you get in the pool, it's

a good time. I'm just saying, there's got to be a solution to
this. So instead of being justso I'm clear, instead of you being
in the alley, just a tub, just go up your tub, Just
go in your tub and splash aroundyour tub. Could you find it's New
York, here's stuff everywhere. Couldyou find somebody selling an old porcelain claw
foot tub and put that in thealley? How am I going to get
it there? Fill it with water? Huh? How am I going to

get it there? What do Ihave to explain everything to you? Yes?
Because yesterday you know what I hadto do. You have to work.
I had to go buy cat litterAnd did you have to ask people
how to do that? No?But it was thirty eight pounds okay?
And that I was so sweaty andout of breath and disgusting. By the
time I got that thing to thetrain, walking a couple of blocks with
it, I was like, dude, this is heavy. Forty pounds is

no joke. No, I agree, but you're going here. I thought
you were working out. I'm notworking out enough to make forty pounds of
five city blocks easy. What happenedto your cart? Now? How I
was? I had to go afterwork because the closest pet Smart is south
of here, so further away frommy apartment. There's no plate. You
got to go to a pet Smart. The only place that carries the litter

that she uses. Yeah, oh, you gotta get specific letter. They
carry it at target, but thetarget that is closer to my apartment was
out of it. They carry ita target, I mean, and then
they carried an other places, butnone that we're close enough. Bill,
I have audio of Mary lifting thatforty pound bag. There's a box.

I have audio of Mary lifting thatforty pound box. There you go accuracy
anyway, How am I going tocarry a claw foot tub if I struggled
with a forty pound box of calo? How will you learn? If I
keep giving you the answers on aton to put wheels on it? From
where? Get some wheels on wheel? Yeah, there's a wheel store right
next to that's smart. So nowI have to don't you get your old

lady grocery cart. That's what Iasked? Where's your car? She goes,
I get a get the go aheadand let me go ahead. And
just so we're clear, this isyour guys' idea of how how I beat
the heat. Next week, Ifind someone selling a claw foot tub.
That's nas find facebook marketplace to getwheels a choir wheels step two, or

a cart that a cart that youalready have for these express purpose of grocery
shops, not going to cloth foottub. Step three of fixed wheels to
claw foot tub and then figure outhow to get it to my apartment.
Step four, fill with water.Step five, wear all of my clothes
into said tub out there if shefinally gets it, that it finally get

it, because we had a betteridea for you to just put a plastic
swimming pool back there, but youput you ped it. And now who's
being condescended to you? Guys?This is easier than me sitting on my
couch with the air conditioning on.But you're not wet, Yes, I

will be. And you also haveto take into you're gonna have your family
there too, right, your sisterand kids. And then also, I
mean that that bill is going tobe I haven't had a lot of those

over the years, but it's gonnabe a very very high, uh very
high electricity bill. If you're runningthe air conditioner all day zero point zero,
Yeah, that's what you want thetemperature sent Okay, Well, then
I don't know how else to helpyou. If you're taking perfectly good ideas,

I don't want to help. Liketo point out I didn't ask for
any help in this situation. Icould hear it in your voice. I
could hear it in your voice.And by the way, do you I'm
pretty good at reading people. Doyou man splaining the heat? Not manxplaining
people. Sometimes I like to helppeople without them expressly asking. Helping a

friend in need, yes, butfine, I'll just revert to my factory
settings and not help at all.Thank you, never help anyone. You
say it all the time, butwell, well we did it, so
shut up. Don't come crying tome when you're too dehydrated to cry.
That'll never happen, probably right,all right, I'm not in the house

with the ac blasting. Yes,that's the plane for next week. Bill.
You don't do that, do you? Oh no, that's right.
You have a pool pool, andI do. I do what I need
to, but you know it's rightthere on the lake. He's got that
lake breeze. You got a goodbreeze. So I don't have to use
air conditioner on that man, justmostly when I sleep, but I like

to keep the living room kind ofyou know, without that. If it
gets real hot, like next weekwhen it's ninety, I'll probably turn it
on. But most of the timeI don't get that lake breeze. I
just can't believe there isn't a place. Why don't you like order that litter
on Chewy or something. They'll justcan't. I absolutely can't, and I

just I let it go too long, and then I was like, I
need litter today, Like this catis out of litter. And if I
let it go if I like,because you obviously as you scoop it,
that takes the litter out of thebox. And if I let it get
too low, she'll pee outside ofI was gonna say, yeah, will
a cat eventually just be wherever?Well, if there's no literal to us,
if it's all like used, you'resupposed to clean, like completely clean

out the litter box and wash itand put brand new litter in at least
once a month. Hmm once amonth, yeah, shee who's got the
time for that? Once a month? Well, yeah, it's all right.
Well we've solved more problems. Canyou get a really big cat litter

bin and fill that with water?I don't want to be in water outside.
She's like her cats. She doesn'twant to be in water. Bill,
I thought you'd like being in water. No, she likes getting wet.
What she already said is going tohappen when she's awash in air conditioning.
Her niece is there. Don't worryabout that. But oh you could

see what's cell your light hanging inpubid hair? Call the Alan Cox Show.
Thanks for turning me on and thenallowing me to spend this time with
you. I hope I can inturn you on you want sixty five seven
eight one double oh seven or oneeight three four eight one double oh seven

three five two. We're sing mea text Alancoxshow dot Com watch Life.
Thanks again to Mildrew for fancy Pantsfor assisting today well tomorrow on the show.
Comedian Cam Patterson is going to bein here. He's doing hilarities over
in the cabaret room. All ofhis shows are sold out, but I'm

interested to talk to him. Seemslike a funny dude. We flipped him
and Adam Ferraro, so that'll happentomorrow. I'll have the last tickets for
you tomorrow as well for that switchFoot show if you're into them, if
you're a fan of the band Ghost, they're going to be premiering their first
feature film next weekend. Bert Kreischerand his Band of Mary Men and Women

and Canton next Thursday night. That'sSepulchery Show, all that tomorrow, and
of course the Bill Squire Friday GetDown. Yeah. I usually don't mention
those much earlier than day of,but it's become such a phenomenon that I
be remiss to not mention it.And if you're new to the program,

you might be asking yourself, thatsounds interesting. What is it. I'm
glad you asked. It's how westart the weekend around here. And if,
again, if you're new to theshow, you go, that's ridiculous.
I know how to start my weekend, to which I respond, do
you do you? Because a lotof people thought they did, and then

the Bill Squire Friday Get Down camealong and they said, I've been living
a lie. I never once knewwhat I was doing. Hello, Mike,
what's up? Hello Mike? Yeah, I'm here. What's going on?

Is hi? Allen? No?I was just calling to say that
you mentioned Septura concert and it's gonnabe a good show for sure. But
Max is not a band, andI've even native Derek Green. Yeah,
the Max owns the whole thing mypoint. Oh my bad. I kind

of I want meaning for it back, all right. Yeah, I know
you're a metal met guy. Allright, I appreciate you. Derek Green's
awesome, man. It's gonna bea lot of fun. Yeah, I'm
definitely. I'm so excited for ashow. I don't I don't. I
literally don't think I knew he wasfrom Cleveland. Yeah, yeah, when
you're joined ninety eight pretty against that, Yeah, I mean it was.

I was so stoked that was theman. Just gonna be awesome. It's
gonna be a good show. It'sgonna be great. I'll see you there,
all right, Love you guys,love to show man. All right,
Thank you so much. There's MikeDerek Green. Yeah, he's been
with Sepultaer a long time after Maxleft. But yeah, it is weird

when but you know, Foreigner andStyx did a show at Blossom last night,
and Foreigner is another band that hasno bless you pardon me. Foreigner
has no original members in it.You know, they're going to be inducted
into the Rock and Roll Hall ofFame this fall, and Mick Jones for

a long time was the only originalmember. He was a founding member.
He had been the only person originallyin the band still in the band,
but then he got diagnosed with Parkinson'sand touring got to be too much for
him. So it would be strangeto be in an iteration of a band
where there's no one originally in theband anymore. It's an entirely different man.

Now, some of those people havebeen in it a long time.
Kelly Hansen is singing for them.He goes back to like eighties hairbands.
He was in a hairband called Hurricane. Jeff Pilson has been playing bass for
Foreigner for a long time. Hewas in Dockin of course famously in the
eighties. Those guys have been withthat. All the guys that are currently
in it have probably been in itfor a while. But it would be
weird to be in a band wherethere are no original members and the guy

who was with you in going becausethis is their farewell tour. So it
would be one thing if you're like, oh, we're going back on the
road, you know, but theForeigner farewell tour is what came through last
night and there's nobody, so that'dbe strange. Hey everybody, Hey,

we're calling it quits. None ofus were in the original lineup of the
band. I am curious, butI also kind of assume that Lou Graham
will show up to get inducted intothe Rock Hall. He was the I
don't know if he was the originalsinger for Foreigner, but he was the
They had their biggest hits with LouGraham that's the voice that most people associate

with Foreigners Lou Graham. But evenhe ended up with health problems, so
I think he might have had limitedmobility. That's what it does to you,
that rock and roll touring lifestyle.But yeah, Foreigner in Sticks last
night with John Waite, Remember JohnWait, I ain't missing you at all?

Oh yeah, I know that song. He was in a handful of
British bands, and then in theeighties there were guys that were doing other
things but would have like a metalband. They would try to ride that
comet. And he was in aband called Bad English with some of the
guys from Journey and but to me, man, the great John Waite song

is a song called Change, andI don't know if it was ever a
hit, but I love it hadPatty Smyth doing background vocals. But obviously
everybody remembers missing you. But Ilike change if you're doing and I have
to think that he did that songlast night. I'm not gonna haul ass
to Blossom for Foreigner and Sticks SticksYeah, okay, which is a good

solid rock popcast. I never heardChange. Oh what a great song.
I don't dislike it, though recentlyhired superintendent from Latonia Schools is now on
Hearing good Art, the hearing comemy man always wish from we always wish

the ass. Oh it's good stuff. So anyway, I have to think
that he's saying that. But uh, to Mike's point, Sepulture on their
farewell tour, I don't know ifthe Andreas kisser might still be in there,
but I don't know if they haveany original members. You know,

Bill is Andrea's kisser still in Sepulture. Well, I'll tell you what the
city of Cleveland has been going throughit. Did you see any photos from
that Justin Bibb Kara, they gotsmashed up on the near east right here
on the east side twelfth in Superior. Everybody was okay, but they took

him to the hospital and so thathappened this morning, and uh, Justin
Bibb and his driver were taken tothe hospital. You know, people are
so precious about their golf clubs.HM. Anyway, everybody's okay. But

if you saw any of those photoson social media, it's pretty intense.
I have to assume that the personwho hit them wasn't paying attention and will
probably be how you say, disappeared. Maybe I don't think it goes.
You know, if you have thekind of power, I think it's all
right. All right, Oh,you know what Frank Jackson said, Cleveland

is perceived to be the butthole ofthe world. Sometimes be doing do be
doing it. The mayor's driver wasengaged in emergency response driving, so they
were flying somewhere. Yep, andsomebody this is like five to nine.
The driver, I have to poop. Yep. I want to poop at

home. Nope, Hey, stepon it, I gotta get Do you
think he's got a bed at hisoffice? He probably got a bi day
in the back of that big yukonor what a bdat in his office?
I don't know. That'd be agreat question. All the all the public
speaking that Justin Bibb has done,and all of the conferences he's done,
we should try to get a microphonein there sometime and ask him if he

has a bidet in his office thereat city Hall. Yeah. So between
that and then, the City ofCleveland has been the City of Cleveland has
been closed most of the week becauseof a big cyber incident. They got
hacked. They're trying to figure outwhat happens, And so you know,
people who were for the city,there's probably a whole bunch of them that

didn't even They aren't even working therest of the week because their hands are
tied. But I was watching ablurb on people who really needed stuff from
the city and couldn't get it.People who were like, yeah, I
got a I came to get myI came to get a birth certificate so

I can get an apartment, LikeI'm homeless, finally got an apartment.
We got hacked, So you're justgonna have to stay a little right,
a little longer. One guy saidthat he needed a birth certificate to establish
his paternity so he could begin custodyproceedings for his daughter. And city halls

locked. So there were people thatwere like, very specifically impacted by this
an unspecified cyber threat. You knowwhat that means. It means that.
So we try to get in there, so we try to figure out what's

going on in the data there inthe city of Cleveland, because they figure,
well, nobody's gonna notice this.We're not trying to break into the
New York Police Department. We're nottrying to break into the Los Angeles City
Council or something. Let's just dipour toe into Cleveland. Let's see if

we can break into Cleveland first.It's like any other line of work,
you gotta work your way up.And so if you're a beginning a hacker
started from the bottom heat or somecyber thief, you're gonna pick easy targets.
Cleveland, Detroit, Newark, They'reall gonna be in there. And

then if you do well, youknow, because all these are these kinds
of things wouldn't happen if it weren'tfor digital currency cryptocurrency, right, none
of this stuff would happen. Thereason that it happens is because you now
get ransom from cities, and ifthere was no such thing as digital currency,
that wouldn't be a thing. Now, I don't I'm speculating. I

don't know what this is. Thiscould have just been to your garden variety
meltdown. But this happens more.Kind of thing happens more and more and
more with cities, and some citiesopt to pay the ransom because they're like,
we got to get up and runit. You know. There have
been like hospitals that have been hacked, and you can't have people, you
know, dying left and right.So some cities say, screw this,

we'll figure it out, and thenother cities they pay the ransom. Lake
City, Florida got hit by acyber attack, and even if you pay,
you still got to go in andfigure out what got hit, what
you got to do which all thestuff. Yeah, Lake City, Florida
again, talk about starting small.The hackers got in and asked for a

half a million dollars in ransom,and cities are insured, so they I
can dip into that. But they'relike, yeah, we paid the ransom,
but you know, we basically haveour phones back on and the email
works. But you got to worryabout like data recovery and all that nonsense,
and these poor people who are justtrying to get in there to get

goddamn birth certificates or whatever. Imean, you know, so cities are
going to have to invest more incybersecurity. That's the line of work that
my son is in. And Jesus, the horror stories I get from him,
it's like people have no I youknow, because back in the day,
I was reading the story about thisguy who got fired from that this

might have been in Thailand or something. But this dude who got fired from
this IT company and on his wayout, he got into their one of
their systems and deleted their servers justas a final fu as he walks out
the door. Thirty nine year oldguy who said he was confused and upset

after being fired, and so hedeleted one hundred and eighty virtual servers from
his company's system and the company lostjust shy of a million dollars because this
guy was mad that he got fired. Now, there's probably a pretty good
reason they fired him if this washis reaction. But back in the day,
you know, you had to hopethat a disgruntled employee didn't have a

gun. Now you still hope that, but you also hope that they don't
have all your passwords when they walkout. You know, in the early
part of my career in radio,before everything was digitized and computerized, when
it was still mostly analog, weran everything on cart You might have seen

them, Bill, I've seen thembefore. Yeah, maybe at oak Tree
we had had a handful of them. You know, you'd have it was
these magnetics. I started doing comedyand going on the road and stuff.
I'd be in studios that were stillusing there you go, Yeah, there
are these plastic things that had magnetictape in them, and it's what commercials
were recorded onto. It's what musicwas recorded onto. You know, you'd

still play music on CDs in theearly nineties when I was getting into the
biz, but all of your commercialswere still on KRT and it's magnetic tape.
And so when you were to recorda commercial or a piece of production
or something, there was this multistep process. It wasn't just putting it
into a hard drive. You hadto record stuff analog to analog like four

track or two track or whatever tothese carts. That was your final destination
with these carts. And I knewthis is when I was still interning in
Chicago. Like the very first professionalthing I had there was a dude,
like a part time DJ who gotlet go or fire or something, and

this dude was pissed. And Ididn't obviously see it happen. I would
have said something, but word gotaround that what this guy had done was
he had taken a piece of machinerycalled a bulk eraser, which is the
big magnet, and he basically wentin to one WI wiped everything out.
He ran the bulk eraser up anddown all the commercials. So you've got

a radio station now not airing anycommercials or you would just hear tape hiss
when they tried to play him.And I don't know what happened to that
dude. I don't with the aftermathof I'm sure the radio station tried to
assue him. I don't know whatit was. Yeah, they could probably
probably yeah, and he was probablynever heard from again professionally. But I
just remember that. I mean,now it's probably even easier to do.

Like there could be a key strokewent down last week and right, so
it's probably even easier. But I'mjust saying, like even back in the
analog days, if somebody had themoxie to do it, they could go
in and do it. And sonow you got these guys that like on
their way out, the IT guyson their way out, they're like,
ah, I'm just gonna race allthese servers. That'll be cool, we

won't run into any problems. Sonow they're you know, suing this guy
or whatever. Police reports laptop wasseized, all that stuff, find all
the company's data. See, yougotta keep your head together, man,

and all the jokes on the cybercriminals. Nothing gets done at Cleveland City
Hall anyway. Oh, shot fire, I can get it, shots fire.
Funny, part of getting fraud identificationis access to birth certificates. So
it's a big issue now, No, of course, that's what I'm saying,
Like, these people are are beinggenuinely you know what they're trying to

do. They're being thwarted. Youthink hacking wouldn't happen if cryptocurrency didn't exist.
No, hacking has been going on, and you go back to Kevin
Mitnick. The ransom wouldn't happen withoutcryptocurrency. The people who were like,
hey, we have control of yoursystems, City of Denver, give us

three million dollars and we'll give itback to you. That's what all that
is bitcoin because they want to beable to not trace it of course.
So yeah, cybercrime is largely it'sjust piracy. That's why all these city
without without digital currency, that wouldn'thappen, didn't happen before, And all
of a sudden everybody got you know, got a rod over digital currency.
And then people started because they're like, oh, cities have insurance ain't their

money message off the app all.I was listening to the podcast from yesterday
and you were talking about how youlove physical comedy. I don't think that
it's actually meant to be a physicalcomedy. But if you watch the remake

of Roadhouse, it was pretty funnyto see Jake Jillenhall slapping like five or
six guys all in a row,thinking that he's top and all that kind
of stuff. So you probably wantto check that out by Hmmm. I
don't think I'm gonna watch that one. I've never seen the original Roadhouse.
Really, that kind of surprises me. I do like Sam Elliott, Sam

Elliott and Swayze Yeah peak Swazey,Yeah, no, I know you like
a point break. I do youknow my motto knows swayzey no Wayzy.
I ain't gonna watch it. Younever steals your own. But I do
like Jake Chillenhall. And this dude'sbeen getting jacked for movies for a long
time. Yes, he's in hismid forties. Yeah, he's not married

and a kid. He's got plentyof time. I mean it was,
uh didn't do well, but hewas ripped in Prince of Persia. He
did that. Oh, I seethat. I didn't see it either,
but I saw the trailers and hewas he did so boxing movie. He's
been pretty jacked up for a bunchof movies. Yeah, I started watching
uh he. His first TV roleis the remake of Presumed Innocent over there

On, which is one of myfavorite movies. Man. I love that
movie from the early nineties with HarrisonFord, and they re redid it but
kind of change the story too,I think. And it's on Apple TV.
It's okay, I haven't seen that. I I like j Jollenhlk.
I started watching The one Percent thatPatton Oswald game show. There's that so

it's it's kind of a who wantsto be a Millionaire type thing where the
one percent club on Amazon club.Yeah, so it gets questions get progressively
hard harder, so like the firstround is not teighty percent of America answered
this question correctly, and AGA's eightypercent, seventy percent all the way to

one percent of America answered this question. They have one hundred contestants and then
they go, you know, theywent down to a few people and if
like multiple people win, they shareone hundred thousand dollars. Uh, it's
it's a lot of fun because yougo, Okay, how how far can
I make it? And I thinkI've made it to seventy or eighty percent?

Really both times. Yeah, I'mpretty good. Remake of a British
game show called The One Percent Club. This says Amazon and Fox. Yeah,
put in Arizona Fox. And thenthe next day it's on Amazon Prime.
Well, there you go. Iwant to watch that. We're still
watching the Goat. Oh yeah,I'm good through that too. Yeah,

it's pretty funny. Those are thoseare the shows. And then Prime's got
my attention because the new new seasonof the Boys is out. Oh yeah,
so that's gonna be my weekend.And now I must leave you as
the Brady Bunch is on and Ifind four of those children incredibly arousing.
Get at it. Be careful ofwhat you say, Be careful in every

way, Be careful of what youdo. Big Brother is watching you.
Be circumspect and discreet, Stay lighton your mental feet. One slip and
you know you're through. Big Brotheris watching you. And with all narrative,

remember ovidios paid, and when youwatch that TV screens, remember it
works both ways. You disappear ina wink. Unless you can double think
you'll vanish into the blue. Oh, big brother is watching you.
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