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May 31, 2024 175 mins
The Alan Cox Show
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The Federal Communications Commission just determined thefollowing content to be emotionally harmful. Funny
things that you thinks funny aren't funny. Jimmy Coxbotic Time, Alan Cox Show
kicks ash Man, welcome you mewhat you Yeah? I canna see a
lot of cocks on TV. AllenCox from the Allen to Show. I

don't know what's about you? ByCada. Thank you, sall. It
don't be a crazy so let's takeit. Coffee ticket and you'll get eight
with a nasty group. Okay,one three tickets? Okay, come on,
God damn put you one time ticket? What Allen? Come here we

go, he'll add, he'll befine. It's the Allen Cox Show on
one hundred point seven double U mms. Oh hey, what's going on?

Gang? Good afternoon, greetings.My name is Alan Cox, Thanks
for being here. Welcome. Sayhi to Bill Squire he's right over there.
Very creepy hoods. Mary Santorra isout performing in Austin, Texas this
weekend, joined once more by theperpetually delightful Bridget Linton from your Cleveland Browns.

Yes, who's back? Hot?Yeah, I'mcca again? And play
some of that. Oh great,I'm so into it. It's so good,
so good. Yeah. Hey,if you want to join us,
uh, there's no shortage ways youcan do it. You can call if
you're so inclined, you can joinus on the telephone. It's that thing
you talk into that's on your tinypocket computer. Two one six, five

seven eight one double oh seven oreight hundred and three four eight one double
oh seven. You can text methree five one nine two. Alancoxshow dot
com is where you can watch liveand again always love having bridge it in.
But on a Friday, and Ithought about this. My worst fears

have become realized because she is freshoff a Thursday night karaoke binge that has
probably shredded her voice. Yeah,it's here, though I was worried.
I woke up and I said,you know, I think I sang one
too many share songs last night?Can I talk? I saw that does

sound like Kermit the Bronck you heard. You know. Someone told me last
night they were like, you actuallysound more like Elvis. And I'm like,
no, I don't. I don'tthink well to do this again,
but you're up there trying. Iwatched some of your Instagram story. You're
trying to kind of do a sharething, and that's a tough thing to
nail if you were singing as Bridget, right, yeah, but you're not.

You're trying to channel Share. That'snot an easy thing to nail.
I think it would be worse ifI channeled Bridget because my voice is very
bad. Well, this is whatI'm saying. You're doing that because you're
scared to use your own voice.Yeah, you're trying to inhabit the share
the character if you will, right, Yes, that's actually it. So
I always start off karaoke with doingall the rap songs. I'll just show
you some videos. Yeah, Babygot back the Little Salt and Peppa Shoop

did a little Eminem did a littlelittle Wayne, and then you know,
you get a little confidence and I'mlike, you know what, screw it,
we're doing share right to believe onthat's what you wanted to do in
the first place. I know,Yeah, you were just you were baby
stepping it there. You need alittle liquid courage putting that too. Yeah.

Yes, it's fun though. Sothat Cocky's Bagels, which I think
people think of like, oh,it's a great breakfast spot. Oh no,
I don't know it at all.It is a great karaoke spot,
so okats Yeah, you have tocome just two karaoke Thursdays or every Thursdays,
just Thursdays, so funky. I'mgonna stop. I'm gonna do one
or two songs and leave, andthen I can't ever seem to leave,

can't get me off the microphone.We've got a Friday off coming up in
a couple of weeks. Great,so that your time to shine. I'll
come out on a Thursday. I'llbring my girl to she can sing.
Oh okay, real good. Weneed some legit singers because people aren't she
sing. Get think of me.She's saying a quirky's a few weeks ago,
and like blew my other friends away, Like my one friend is like,

I'm in love with your girlfriend afterwatching her sing? Like what what
is she sing? What's her genre? Like just classics? Like she that
night she's saying, uh, TracyChapman, Oh and she's leg Yeah.
She was very trying to find oneof Bridget's clips from last night on her
Instagram account where she was. Iknow I didn't share all of them because
like Cocky's kept putting videos. I'mlike, you know what, I don't

think I should probably post all ofthese, right, I did the one
I did a chair. Hold on, make sure who's the dude who's screwing
you up? I know he wasn'tthat good? Come on, he's really
trying to steal thunder? Yeah?Anymore? How many drinks? Mercifully,

that's only a couple of seconds long. People who are in attendants to listen
to the whole thing. Yeah,how many drinks deep are you? At
that point? Said the stage,What time of night is that? How
many drinks deep are you? Okay, allow giving away your beauty secrets?
Like, at what point in theevening was that? Yeah, that was
probably like a twelve thirty twelve thirtyexactly. So it was Friday morning.
Yeah, it was Friday morning.So at the what's your drink of toys?

Are you like a white claw highnoon? Or do you drink a
See this is where this is whereI went wrong. So I was at
town Hall. First they had andno, and I had a martini.
Oh dirty, okay, don't knockthis till you try it. So do
you guys like spicy? Yes?Yeah, okay, dirty martini? Add
a little hot sauce. Okay,spicy dirty martini so good, and name

makes the best hot dirty martini.So slugging martini's all night. No oh
yeah, so I had one atshe sidles up to the bars like I'm
next, give me others hot,dirty, slaty martini. By the last
one, she's got it in theglasses like sling it all over the place.
I only had to. I'd wonit down Hall. And then I
got to Cocky's and Natalie there,the owner makes the best martini, so

she made me another one. Theydon't even give it to her in the
martini glass. They put it putit in a sippy cup, so it's
not you guys. Nice to Martiniagain And then I did switched to Hens.
You know that was a safer route. Yeah, all right, I
had myself a time And so wasthat kind of your Was that your swan
song last night? Or did youhave a couple more in you after?

I mean, really, the onethat brings the house down every time I
actually did it encore of it bringsthe house down. Yeah, wow,
people, you know one of theplaces called Cocky people like I actually drew
a crowd in I was doing shoop, salt and pepper. I know every
word, and people were literally walkingby and I came in because they were
so impressed that I knew every word. So at that point they caught the
tail end of it. You weredrawing customers in. Yeah, they were

like people walking by, going what'sthat? I think they were like,
is that salt? Not? Butpretty close. I'm very impressive. Impressive
because there are so many awful soundscoming from all the places in the flats
at any given time that to beable to isolate yours is pretty amazing and

good for you. I think Iwant to come in there. Yes,
yep. So that's yeah, that'sthe main one. Okay, I have
to say too. Sorry. Youknow how Cocky's got their name Bill,
That's how the bagels get their holes. Okay, so tell me what happened.
So I've been on this karaoke kickand I don't know if it's a
good thing for anybody. So,you know, I host the pageants.

So I did Miss Ohio last weekend, and every year it's usually around my
birthday, so this one was alittle later. Miss Ohio is and they
always do a cake for the photographerand the production manager, and I never
understand why I'm not included because mybirthday is right around THEIRS. So I
kind of made us think about itlast year and because for the birthday month.

Yeah, and so I was like, why don't you guys ever include
me? Like their birthdays are Maysecond, May third, I'm April twenty
ninth, it's pretty close to THEIRS. And they're like, oh my gosh,
we're so sorry. So this timeit's May twenty sixth or whatever.
Obviously my birthday is definitely over.So they pretty sure, are you gonna
come to the after party after theshow? I'm like, me miss a
party? Of course I'll be there. I walk in, there's photos of
me everywhere on the walls. They'vegot blows, they have birthday hats.

This was an am yes, andthey're like, careful what you wish for?
It was a lot. They hadkaraoke machine already for me, and
so they nothing but share loaded in. They didn't know that I could do
share and I do have an Wedon't know you can do share either.
You keep telling us you can.All evidence to the contrary. Yeah,
so I'm my browser. It soundslike your elvis is second to nine,

but the Share you don't. Yeah, I don't understand the whole Elvis versus
Share thing, but whatever. SoI'm rapping a lot. I'm like,
all right, can someone else getup here and sing? And they're like,
no, it's the Bridget show.This is your party. I'm like,
all right, well, then puton Believe. Like someone like spit
out their drink when they started hearingme, and they're like, wait,
do you actually think you sound likeher? I'm like yeah, So there's
a whole video of it, andI get it. I listened and I'm

like, I kind of get theElvis mix up, and I also kind
of get that I don't sound likeShare. Here's also in your defense with
respect to that song. Believe,of course, is famously one of the
first songs that ever used auto tune. Yes, so even we don't know
what Share sounds like that song,so you could sound like if we heard
the raw Share vocals pre auto tune, yep, maybe they might go,

oh my god, is that BridgetLinton singing this song? How about that?
Let's see what you can do withthat. I know I'm not as
good as that one with that one. You heard that right there? I
sound more like Bridget, which isnot great. Right, Well, but
you know better than anybody else howyou're gonna sound. And you know,
we all sound different in our ownheads. Honestly, I just wish they
were hearing it differently. I wishthat I didn't sound good to myers,

because again, I get the confidenceand then I perform, and then I
see videos like, oh, don'tshoot, but you're having fun. Listen,
you can. You can never havetoo much confidence, you know,
so great time. Yeah, thisone, I mean, this is just
the karaoke version. I don't knowwhat I'm gonna know what I'm doing with
this, but oh I've got totake a break. Oh damn you timer,

Damn you clock at the most unopportunetimes. Well, anyway, you're
just going for it too, She'salready. Yeah, I knew it,
but I do. I think it'spretty sweet though, that you're giving them
all that free advertising. But yougoing over there on Thursday nights and people
walking by and hearing and going,oh my god, is it Thursday already?
Yeah? I heard about that.Yes, Bridget underscore Linton eight.

If you want to see the fruitsof her labors, Bring Dead entertainment throughout
history, The Cup and Ball Bomb, The Allen Cox Show on one hundred
point seven w MMS two one seveneight one, double oh seven, Want

to Calls eight hundred three four eightone double O seven. Bridget Lindsen today
for Mary Cheer, which means shegets to avail herself of a live Friday
get down. You've been in herefor those before? Well, the only
time I have been was when wewere at Rocket Mortgage Field. Oh that
was the only one. Yeah,the live cavernous get down. You've never

seen it on one, You've neverseen it in an intimate setting like this.
No, I haven't very excited.I actually called it a cheer walking
into Well, I'm here for yourcheer. I'm like, don't call it
that cheer. Well, it's kindof a cheer. It's Yeah, the
weekend is started. My favorite cheerleader, Dolphin Boy. Yeah, it was
a short for that. But yourweek is just getting going. I mean

going into weekends is really when youshine and you're busy, and you're running
around and you're having your gowns pressed, and you're having your your hair and
makeup. People on speed dial onstandby, How did all of the pageant
toasting. Go. I saw somevideo from it. Yeah, no,
it was lovely, was it.I thought it was like Miss Ohio.

It was okay, Miss Ohio USAand Miss Ohio teen Usa, Teen Usa.
Okay, that's all part of onegiant, global, big pageant organization.
Okay, the Miss Universe organization.Okay, so you have to win.
I thought that was bodybuilding. No, oh no, no, Noster
Universe. I guess this body Yeahmaybe I think I think that is actually

okay. So yeah, Miss Usa. If you win Miss USA, then
you go on to compete at MissUniverse. So yes, I host the
state pageants. I always like doingOhio because that's where I won. It's
the same theater in little Portsmouth,Ohio. Brings back all the memories me
walking around in a little bikini asa teenager. You know, I have
to say when it comes to thepageant environment, and I know there's a

lot of people who think it's kindof anachronistic thing, like pageants shouldn't be
a thing anymore. But I thinkof it this way, especially in light
of what happened yesterday there in NewYork with Trump, is that it seems
to me that when you get tothe national level of a pageant, that
might be a snapshot for how peoplefrom different parts of the country can steal

those girls. Probably all kind ofthere might be a little cattiness because everybody
wants to be on top, butthey're all kind of in the same thing.
They understand the pressures. Maybe we'regoing about this all wrong. Maybe
we should be laser focused on thepageant girls to guide us through whatever this
rocky portion of our culture is rightnow. I mean, they all do

want world peace. That's is true. Boy, they say it a lot
us since Sandra Bullock, they miscongeniality. What's your idea of a perfect date?
April twenty fourth, twenty fifth.It's not too hot, it's not
too cold. All you need isa jacket. It is. And I

always say like the pageant. Doingpageants was the best and worst thing that
ever happened to me, much morepros than cons For number one, it
made me realize, like, whatI want to do with life, I've
figured out. Okay, yeah,we'll add that to it. Yeah,
I realized really wanted to do,be hot what I wanted to It made
me realize all I want to dois be judged for my looks. I

really like to wear bikinis and heelsand gowns. No, actually that is
the to the beach. Is that? Like? No, I retired that
part of it. Okay, No, that's actually the only con of it,
because I always was confident, Likeeven in my awkward stages of life,
like I was still confident. Iknow, you're even confident in your
singing, and you shouldn't be right, right, see yep, I get
it, Like, yeah, it'strue, So I are too confident.

I well, then when I wonthough last of twenty twenty four, if
nothing else, as you go offinto the world, be hot. Look
to your left, now look toyour right. If they're both ugos,

you are the hottest one in yourrow. You've made it. You've made
it. I'll help you be abetter wife and mother. That's right.
Yes, well, okay, Imet more so I realized that I like
to be on stage and talk andbe in a microphoney. I mean that
looks part. I guess it's aboutit. A public speaker is not something

that was scared. Was that somethingthat frightened you before? The past thing?
No? But I just did somuch of it that year and it
was going into college like, oh, I think I can do this for
a living. So that was apro The friendships that I made, it
is great. The friendships you've madealong the way. Friendships, Yeah,
yeah, Treasure, I know Iknow someone in every single state of the
US. Not friends with all ofthem, but some of them I'm still

really good friends with. How manystates have you been to? We did
this yesterday? I don't know.Wow, that's impressive. I don't think
I'm close to that either, butit was interesting. Once you win,
like your state, then you getprepped for nationals. It is the first
time in my life that people werelike commenting on my body and looks like,
okay, yeah, you have dancerlegs, so we're gonna need to
slim those down. Maybe we canget a little bit more toned here.

I'm like what, And I'm like, oh, dancing you I guess so.
Literally, well I didn't think so, but now I'm self still to
this day, I'm self conscious aboutmy legs. It's weird. Yeah,
but did they want I mean,they just wanted a different kind of leg
for pageants. They don't even remembersaying that to me. I tell them
that because I still work with them. Now, remember when you said that,

like there is no way we saidthat your legs are your asset,
Like that's something you don't forget walkedin here. Huh Yeah. So like
that part of it, and Ifeel like I now I'm really self conscious
about looks all the time. Sothat's the con of it. But most
of it is pro okay. NowI get to host it and still get
to relive my days of getting myhair and makeup done and wearing fancy gowns.
Well, because what every hot girlhas to also consider is down the

line when it When is this overfor me? You know what I mean?
When? And some people it's not. You can care. You can
be hot for a long time now, you know. So that's what you
gotta hope for. We were actuallytalking about that with that, I mean,
you're only twenty six. Yeah,so I mean, this is who's
snorting? I don't know why?Hard is there a short in my headphones

as a cattle or a snort orsomething. Somebody's like, I can't believe
Bridge's only twenty one. I thoughtshe was so much twenty one because last
time you said you're twenty one yeah, I said, I'm twenty one,
and I was like, not twentyone? She graduated sitting here, poun
cake whatever, I'm twenty five.I don't know when he graduated. All
I know is that you're twenty sixyears Yeah, that's all I know too.

Yep, but we were trying enteteenninety eight. April twenty ninth,
nineteen ninety eight. Wow, thatis great memory day infamy winter Birthday.
Again. I don't know anyway,it was good. She tried it,
pretended like it was just an organicnatural thing. Nope, sorry, sis,
that was You're good. Yeah,well I thought I was good,
but you're better. Was born yesterday? When were you born? I don't

know. I have no idea.Yeah, well, I mean those are
you know? Those are I metmy sister. I have two younger brothers
and a sister. But my sisterwas born when I was seventeen years old,
so there's a big gap. Ohwow. My mom had been trying
to get pregnant for a long time, couldn't finally did, but I was.
She was eight months old when Iwent to college. So we don't

have like a super close relationship,but whatever. She kind of grew up
in an as an Oi child,but my mom put her in she had
a pageant phase because my mom waslike that when she was younger. And
that's a very I love my mom, but my mom is very kind of
focused on those kinds of things.Right. I never once, growing up,

ever, ever ever saw my momhair pulled back jeans, not once.
My mom was like done up goingout, I mean leaving the house
in like blouse and a skirt,that kind of thing. Right. So
when my sister was little and gorgeouschild, I mean, you know,
we all were bill and but mymom would put her in these dresses and

do these things and it was,you know, these photo shoots and things,
and she had like a little pageantface. So she was a child
child. Yes, she was apageant star. But I mean there was
a period of time and I don'tknow if she even had the wherewithal to
say to my mom like this isn'tsomething I want to do, or my
mom was just like, eh,this is not gonna It wasn't something that

she was going to devote her lifeto. But she did. There's still
bigger than they should be pictures inmy mom's house of like my sister when
she was five and in this frillything and done up and makeup. Yes,
pretty wild. So yeah, Ithink maybe she had the foresight to
be like, well, this isn'tthe way that it's going to remain,

but for that time being, she'slike, maybe there's something here I don't
know, right. So I'm gladI didn't do it as a young child.
But again, I was pretty awkwardlooking for a majority of my life,
and then like high school was whenI grew into myself. That's when
you grew into yourself. Yeah,had you been tall? Because when girls,
I know, it's like a hackeycliche when they make fun of girls
who go like I had an awkwardface, but a lot of girls did.

I mean, you can see Iwent to school with a lot of
girls where it's like you went awayfor the summer and you came back and
you were like, oh my god, that didn't happen to me. You
know, I was like five twountil college. But but yeah, a
lot of girls would come back,and it was usually the taller girls,
you know. For me, itwas Christmas break my freshman year. I
was the league blood of high school. Yes, yeah, So I went

into freshman year, still like soskinny, like just so tall and awkward
and skinny. School not even summer, No, Chris was breaks like a
week in a week, well ina week, I got my braces off,
I swear that was That was abig part of it. But I
did. I grew into my bodylike put on some weight. Oh so
you got changed over. I don'tknow how to say it, but you

know you developed. I developed,there you go. I came back and
people who were literally was the newgirl, Yeah, like it's guyss me.
It was a little nerd. Heyguys, Hey, what's going on?
She knows all the words? Thebaby got back for a reason.
M And then what everybody was likewanted to hang out with you. Girls
hated you guys all of a suddenthought you were hot. All the senior
girls hated me because the senior guysstarted paying attention to me. And I'm

like, why are these girls beingso mean to me? And like why
are these guys wanting to hang outwith me? I was so confused because
I again, I was weirdly confidenteven when I was awkward looking right,
and I'm like, what I lookthe same? Had the personality yeah,
well the Irish dancing probably didn't hurt. Yeah right, you were out there
and that's a skill and you knowhow to do it and you're performing in
front of people and the ex startof the talent show. Yeah, oh
it's my bar trick. Actually Itried. I just came back to me.

I tried to do it last nightat karaoke. You guys can't be
flogging Molly or anything like. Ihave a really cool trick and they just
wouldn't play it. Huh. Ithought they were Yeah, I guess have
you brought them all that business?And then yeah, yeah, we'll get
that in their next week. Theywouldn't. They wouldn't planning for you.
I don't. I don't think theyrealized that. Maybe they didn't want you

scuffing up their floors. True,did you bring your hard shoes? Were
you wearing your hard shoes? No? But you know what, I'm actually
putting those on. On Sunday,I'm hosting a big Irish event at our
Hibernian club. Which where is it? Clkaran Ohio. I've heard of it,
so I'm am seeing it. Andthen for the entertainment, they want

the different generations of dancers, sothat the current little ones beginners, then
they're gonna have like the champion dancersright now and like and then we want
like throwbacks like Bridget can you dance? I'm like, oh, I'm the
old one now. Yeah, you'resix years old and I'm in the old
cat. You're the grand dome ofthe Irish Akron Area Irish dancing yep.
So usually only bust those shoes outin the month of March, but here

we are, it's gonna be June. What about do you do the Cleveland
Irish Festival. No, I reallyhaven't been involved much, Okay, because
that's in July usually. Yeah,I mean, look at it this way.
It is as of tomorrow, it'llbe Pride month. Ye, and
you have a great deal of pridein your Irish dancing and heritage. Why
not, it's same, you know, it's all the same. Green's part

of the rainbow, you know.And then like the rainbow and the pot
of gold, you can add somegreen and rainbow into that. Your powerful
legs would come in real handy ifyou were as sisering. Hell yeah,
I don't even you know, wellhe did it to you. It's perfect

timing too. That's my skill,that's my BArch. Oh wow, make
people uncomfortable like hiding. Right now, Alan Bridge is talking about Martiniz.
I hope it's a real Martine withgin. Since the lines have become so
blur and now there's Vodkatini's and asa bartender for many years, it drove

me nuts. Well, all wegot from her is that it's a spicy,
dirty one. Yeah, you're goingto be disappointed. And he likes
her martini. She likes. Shelikes her men spicy and dirty. What
kind of gin? Or was avodka like going to be disappointed? Like
a Hendrickson Tonic with some limes.Yeah, I don't. I think that
gin tastes like pine tones. Alot of people don't like gin, but

I love it, very acquired taste. Yeah, I like. I just
think with vodka or tequila, drinkliquor. We don't want you don't want
something too floral, whatever you wantto If you want to pour it in
a glass, I'll probably drink,but I prefer like I go to It's
like a Tito's and soda yea,also like a James and ginger Oh yeah,

yeh yeah, but uh yeah I'mnot real picky though, and like
a lot of people like they'll onlydo one kind of shot, but like
I'll do whatever, like whatever,and I like to mixing it up from
time to time, like you know, every once in a while I'll do
a gag or bound for old timessake. Oh, I just got like
chills thinking about that. Jaeger andJin are the two black liquorice and pine

coves. Do you ever have ahairy buffalo? No, it's that.
I mean they have a bunch ofdifferent names. But it's the end of
the night. They ring out thebar rags. That is not a thing.
Yeah, Cory, it used tobe back in the day. If
you would drink it, well somebodywould he who wants to you know,
Yeah, that's disgusting. Sometimes itdepends on what people have been drinking.
They wipe the whole bar down,bring it out, that is, it's

clean. I looked at it ashelping out the the bartender. You know,
I had to take her home anyway, I'm like, get the hell
out of here, and you know, let's let's speed this up. Alan
doesn't have a birthday. He justexists. Somebody says, well, you
didn't. You weren't actually born,you were removed, So that makes sense.
I was airlifted if my mother's womb, that's right. No, I

do have a birthday. I justdon't know when it is. We don't
celebrate it, nor would I evermention it. Hey, the Guardians are
back in town tonight. They're theCleveland baseball team. I know you're with
the Browns organization. Have you everheard of the Guardians? They changed their
name a couple of years ago,so I heard that. Yeah, you
might remember them as the Naps.But the Guardians and the Nationals tonight at

seven ten, the boys are backhome. I think Stephen Kwan is still
out, is that right? He'sstill He started his rehab assignment with the
Clippers. So I don't know ifhe's gonna be back this week or early
next week, but he's starting.He'll be back soon. He's playing basketball
with the Clippers. What did youknow? No? No, No,
he's doing a rehab assignment with theColumbus Clippers. Which is the uh triple

eighteen for this Okay, Well,Nationals Guardians tonight. It's seven ten on
m Messa. When we roll outhere at six thirty we'll get you right
into your pregame, and then alsotomorrow, as it will be June,
you'll be using a brand new promocode at Sea Lee Clothing Company for twenty
percent off whatever you want to getin that promo code is a cardinal Cardinal.

Yes, as in the Cardinal ruleall through Pride Month is use the
word cardinal for twenty percent off atcl Clothing Company. Hey, speaking of
the Guardians, somebody sent me becausewe had talked about I don't know,
it was a while ago. Wegot on the subject of hot dogs or
something. Invariably once a week we'llbe talking about hot dogs. And Andrew
sent me a screenshot of the menu. He was at the Meatheads Union out

there in Wooster. You never beenthere. They got a full menu there
of hot dogs, and one ofthem is called the Cubs Suck Dog.
It's a Chicago dog. Yeah,but well I assume it's maybe it's their
variation on it. It's called theCubs Suck Dog. They had the Windian's
dog, and he said, hegoes, I thought you'd like seeing this
the little screenshot there. I've neverbeen out there. I don't think I

even know where Wooster is, butmaybe one of these days get out there
and you know, I'm not goingto get mayo on anything, but you
know, you know, I kindof like hot dogs. I mean,
if it's like the only option,I'll eat it. But never ordering a
hot dog. I mean, backin the day, there were legit complaints
about how much crap was in hotdogs. They were like, oh,

there's rat aneuses and bug parts orwhatever you allowed by law. But now
everybody's really kind of planted their flagand like, hey, we're making hot
dogs out of meat and we're throwingwhatever we want on them. Yeah,
I saw dust and all that stuffit's in there, and you know people,
Yeah, the same people that complainedabout hot dogs and what was in
them had no compunction whatsoever about puttingall kinds of nonsense on them. So
I thought that was always kind ofa hot times you're gigantic. Now if

you're like yeah, they're too big, they're like yeah, like you you
get like a like the quarter poundhot dog from at a Guardian's game,
it's just like you're like, it'stoo much. It's it's a huge.
That's what she said. We don'tdo that kind of humor on the show.
I'm sorry, I don't know whatyou think this is. Yeah,
but all I'm gonna say is thehot dogs. Bill's right, they're too

big, you know, Bridget There'sonly so much wiener I can take in
my mouth, and I don't wanta giant brat. I want a hot
dog. Yeah, you want anice little one. I want. I
want to that's right. If I'mtaking meat to the face, that's all
I'm saying. It can't be toomuch. I don't want to be greedy

for the next person. So anyway, Guardians and Nationals, I don't know
if they're doing some kind of promotiontonight. I think they're doing something tomorrow.
I don't know what that is.Might even be Stephen Quan Jersey Night.
I think it actually is Tomorrow night, Stephen Quan Jersey Night. He's
the guy that's hurt, but theJerseys will be there to honor him.

There you go. When I waswalking here, there's a lot of people
ducked out in Guardians gear or so. It seems like a lot are going
since tonight's game. Uh huh,Well, I'm sure they'll have a good
Who are the people that play forthe Nationals I know next to nothing about
the Washington Nationals, and I don'tknow. I don't know who's on their
team anymore. Yeah, no clue. But you know they used to be
the Washington Commander's Bill, that's adifferent team. I'm sorry, that's a

different Oh, I've been grossly misinformed. I'm sorry. Yeah, okay,
Ellen, if you don't know yourbirthday, look at your driver's license.
That's what we need to do.Bill, that's just good. His wallet.
Yeah, we got to get himto say it though, steal his
wallet. Oh hey, look atnineteen fifty five, Stephen quants the same

age as you're twenty six. Okay, look at that. Congratulations you and
Stephen Kwan. He might he mightbe in the lineup tonight, so he
might be back tonight. I wasgonna say, you don't want to be
sitting now when they're gonna do.Yeah, I want to be there.
Wait, you don't have a wallet. Huh you don't have a wallet.
What do you have a money clip? I'm not telling you a goddamn thing.

He knows. I'm gonna sneak onover there, get that license like
I'm driving with a license. AOh suckers, Maybe game, beat them,
join them, and if you can'tjoin them, send a strongly worded
letter asking why your application was rejected. Another helpful tip from the Allen Cock

Show one hundred voice and that's whatsinging sounds like, bridget sounds just like
me. Actually, when did youguys just secretly recording? Yeah, secretly

tase Smasher and the great Erica Laurenthere who everybody thinks you are when you're
sitting in any way, the qualityof your voices I heard speaking voices are
similar deep new screen. So shetalks as from a state of mind.
Yeah, but they've caught these ne'erdo wells. Oh yeah, lifted the

flamingo by the big Parma script signthere in Parma. I'll tell you what,
This nonsense would have never happened whenDean Dapiro was running the place.
I don't know what the hell isgoing on over there in Parma. They
are proud to be and remain theeighth largest city in the state of Ohio,
and they have that big Parma scriptsign that now everybody seems to have.

It's a couple of them in thecity of Cleveland out where I live
in Bay Village, there's one nowon the lake front. My tax dollars
at work, and they arrested threemen who I have to think that this
thing was bolted into the concrete.Yeah, the guys cut it off.
It was, Yeah, they destroyedit. I wonder why because it was

there and people are bored, andthere's dudes with tools who get drunk.
Some people get drunk and steel flamingos, some people get drunk in sin share.
You sure do. Shades of difference, which one's better. It's not
for us to say. Three menwere arrested and accused of removing and damaging
the seven feet tall plastic pink flamingothat was next to the big Parma script

sign. There. Three twenty fiveyear old dudes. Yeah, just being
cool right around my age. Soim, I know, right while you're
little older, you're twenty six.You should really sit down with these young
men. And I know you've donestuff with make a wish. Are you
ever asked to speak at schools?Usually those kinds of things, those kinds

of there are schools. They're notnecessarily looking for people that have like a
background in education, they're just lookingfor compelling speakers. Yes, I have
not as often as I would liketo. I can enjoy it. Hey
kids, Hey kids, I'm hereto teach you a few like right,
and to them, you're really old, right, yep? I mean I

couldn't. I was trying to think. I was talking to my brother.
My brother is middle brothers fifteen monthsbehind me, and I was talking to
him, and I'm like, remembersome and so you know these teachers that
we would both have in successive years. He was a grade behind me,
and we went to Catholic school,and I was like, isn't it wild
that the teacher that this one?Because we had clergy and then we had
lay teachers too, and sixth gradewe got this hot teacher. Now hot

by sixth grade standards. She wasprobably just a regular woman. But when
you're surrounded by nuns, true andold old woman teachers, right, anybody
under forty. But as a kid, like in the sixth grade, I
was like, I didn't know howold she was. You know, she
was probably forty something out of college. Well that's what I'm saying. Like

I had no idea. She justwasn't eighty. Yeah, it wasn't done
up in the habit or whatever.Well, and it's just funny to think.
I remember looking at teachers and thinking, oh, they teach us,
and they go home and they lessonplan. I don't think they're real people
until you get older and my friendsare teachers. I'm like, wait,
this is what you guys do.Well, that's like when you run into

a teacher at the grocery store.Yeah, and your life implodes on itself
because you've you know, you haven'tseen them in that environment. I actually
just did pretty recently within the lastfew months. I went back to my
alma mater, Green Green Intermediate Schoolactually, so it was like fifth graders,
and I see some teachers that Iknew and on the course she went
there, she went there when shewas sixteen, so let's not talk about

that. And I would go overto the teachers and I'd be like,
oh, hi, mister suss Hi, mister Hoffin, Like, can you
stop calling us mister, Like callus by our first names, like no,
no, no, no, you'realways you will always be a teacher.
Stop calling me mister. Yeah,And I'm like, no, I
still revert right back to middle school. I'm going to be out in your
neck of the woods next weekend.Oh, I have three appearances out in

that Portage Lakes area. Stop it. Yeah, Ellen, that's like where
I grew up. I know I'mgoing to be. I have two appearances
next Saturday and one on Sunday.You are really popular around there. When
I come back to my hometown,people don't care that I work for the
Browns or do anything. They're like, oh my god, it's so cool
you get to go on the AllenCox Show. Like You've made me really
cool. Well, in my hometown, I'm gonna be at the ramp.

You know where the ramp is.I'm gonna be at the Sandbar. Oh,
oh my gosh. That's a greatcarry away spot. And I'm gonna
be at Dano's Lakeside Pub. Dana'sis my favorite. All right, well
come on out. When is this? Well? Next Saturday, I have
two of them. Okay, what'sthat date? The eighth, the eighth,
and then Sunday the ninth, I'mat dan O's. So all next

weekend I'm out in that Portage Lakesarea. I'm doing I'm doing appearances for
ConA Brewing. We're gonna send peopleto Hawaii. It's a whole thing.
I'm doing them all through every weekendin June. I'm doing this not wait,
and I know Green is out thatPort Portage Lakes area. Yeah right,
Now, here's what will happen thosepeople, because let's play this up.
These people who go, oh mygod, it's so cool that you've
been on Allen's show. If youwere too, and I know you're very

busy, especially in the weekends,but if you were to be out there
when I was out there, right, You're probably gonna run into people,
you know, right, I'm gonnapretend like I've never seen you before in
my leg Allen, Now you knowthat would crush me. I would leave,
no, but it would be makeme like the year for me to
do that wouldn't be nice, wouldn'tbe nice at all, wouldn't be nice,

But it would be funny for theguys. And I don't know who
this girl is. I want onefans talking me. Yeah, Bridget who?
I have no idea. She's tall, she's cute, she's twenty six,
Irish dancing just pops and buzzes fromhere. I don't know what the
hell's going on, No idea whothat is? I don't know. Wait,
do I have time for a littlefans story about you. Oh sure,

okay, great. I didn't knowif to go to commercial break.
So earlier this week, I goback to my Irish club, you know,
Hibernian club, and I'm there andI'm hanging out with my mom and
her friends. Who's Bernie that they'resaying Hiernie h Bernie from Hi Bernie in
Hi Bernie in Hi Bernie in HiBernie. And Bill it's an Irish thing,

Bill thing. Yes, you wouldn'tunderstand. So I'm leaving. I'm
with my mom and her friends,and I'm saying bye to everybody, the
ones that I know, and someonesays by famous one. I was like,
oh, I thank you for sayingthat. He's like, well,
aren't you like our famous celebrity aroundhere. I'm like, I mean,
I'll take it. He's like,I mean here you are on the Alan
Cox Show. I'm like, oh, so, like that's why. No,
but you're known in your own right. I think this person was trolling

you. I mean, I don'tthink so. They may hear you here,
but you're you're known in your ownright obviously. Literally he called me
the famous one, said that's whyyour hometown celebrity you're on the Alan Cox
Show. That's why I like havingyou in. Though I'm not looking for
scrubs to sit in here. Idon't need that, right, I need
people who were pros and where andyou know, oh, I should do
that one at it scrubs. Sothen it was someone else He got wind

of it and was like, oh, I listened to the Alan Cock Show
every day. Like I sent ina text told Alan to ask Bridget who
her favorite Irish accordion player is.He didn't say it on the air,
so I got to give a shoutout to Jimmy Bucky. That is my
favorite Irish accordian play the Cheezburger andParadise guy. He just died art Paradise.
I guess yeah, uh huh,Jimmy Bucky Yep, the accordion King

of Green Ohio. Well, he'sreally in the whole Irish world, so
he travels around to all of likeyou'll you'll be the accordion player playing at
the World Championships of Irish. Heplays for the dancers I see, Yep,
plays the accordion for the Irish dancers. Yes, he's also in Irish
pan Callahan O'Connor O'Connor is my uncle, and Jimmy's in that one too.

Well. Listen, I am pleasedthat that many people are have offered you
some recognition from your time here.That's good. My very popular and Akron
our friend Chris Tie, who formany years was here in town at Channel
three. But he's a Chicago native, and so when the call came for
him to go home and work forChicago news station, uh, he took

it. And he's been at Channeltwo now for a few years. And
he still texts me he goes becausehis wife is from here, so they're
back here occasionally, you know,in lows and things, and he goes.
I'm telling you what, man,he goes. Every time I'm in
the airport, he goes. Itwould have been nice for people to be
like, oh, they saw himon the news or something, to be
like hey, Craig, and I'mlike, that's good too, that's cool.

You have a lot of fun here, have a good time. I
mean, hey, any recognition isgreat. It's just it is funny that
I get recognized most for Alan CoxShow in my own hometown. Now.
Conversely, the people at your regularjob, the Cleveland Browns, they have
no idea who I am? Imean, David and Joku was in here,
but if you asked him, hehave no idea. Yeah, they

have no clue. I'm gonna testthat out, you know, show logos
plastered on every monitor in here.He was in here for half an hour
and that's fine. Everybody's busy.It's all good. Yeah. Okay,
So so Art Bucky. What's hisname, Jimmy Jimmy Bug. Oh yeah,
right, Jimmy. He's very Paradiseguy, Jimmy Bucky the according So

he's not a local guy. He'slike he's from Acer, Ohio. He's
been really big in the Irish fansworld. Okay, yeah, and Irish
band okay, Jimmy Jimmy think ofJohn Candy and Home Alone, like huge
and sheboy again he's actually big andI did. I'm like, well,
I'm filling in on Friday if youwant to tune in. He's like,
oh shoot, we have a freshthat day, which is like a smaller

Irish. Yeah, I'll be playing, but I'll try so hopefully he was
able to tune in right now.Not to be confused with Jimmy buck Lee,
who was one of Ireland's most successfulentertainment. But b U t k
oh butt key but not not likeb U k k y but key,
I talked fast, yeah, butbut key. Okay, Well, and
will you see him again? Willyou offer him my uh? I just

tell him, I said hello,I absolutely will. All right. I'm
hopefully hoping he's listening, but hemight be on the accordion right now.
M practicing his accordion. If youlisten to us on the iHeartRadio app,
tell me where you do it,if you're from out of town or whatever,
so I can shout you out andput you on our map back here

somewhere on the Andy's in Atlanta.Justin listens in Honolulu. John listens in
glen Burnie, Maryland, which,as we learned, borders Pennsylvania. Thomas
is in orting Washington in the PacificNorthwest. And our newest one is Laura,
who listens in Madison, Florida andValdosta, Georgia. Splits her time

between the two. Hey Allen,Hey at the show. Happy Friday,
Bridgie. I used to go tochurch with you when I was young.
You've always been hot, are hot? Saying I love you? I love
you? It's always like it's alwaysgotta be handed thing. Man, It

is very direct. Wow, singer, I used to go to church with
you when I was young. Whatdo you say? Name was? He
didn't wisely, he didn't make sense? All right, thank you, sir.
Yeah that was nice. But you'vealways been according to that guy,
you've always been hot. He's fine, but I'll take it. Yeah,
I don't know him. I trusthis opinion though. I'll try to find

some photos of me. Uh huhin middle school? Did you sing in
church? No? Oh, okay, babe. I've been trying to sing
my whole life and it just isn'tworking for me in my twenty six years
of trying just not but church singing. And I'm talking about like white bread
Catholic church singing. You know,if that's how you grew up, that's
very mid range there, gregoryan chancethere's no emotion what so what's that?

But uh, it's not gospel whereyou gotta know how to sing. So
I thought maybe you might have beenin there and moving your lips at lea.
Yes, get to do the readings? Is going to talking. I
still remember the first thing, allto the Ephesians, Carinthians. Oh,

the Pharisees. They were a rowdygroup. Yeah. Aah. My first
reading I ever did was in secondgrade on ash Wednesday. Hey you still
keep up with the Catholic stuff.No, I'm not a very good Catholic.

I couldn't tell you the last timeI've been to church. Sorry,
that's mark. Yeah, They're like, I couldn't titlize that. I apologize
to me apologizing that I did.Yeah, sorry, God, When did
you lose your faith? So Iwent to Catholic School Saint Francis to Sales
and deer Portage Lias went there throughsixth grade. Then I transferred to Green

and went to Green sixth, seventh, eighth, and then through high school.
Was it right around the time wereyou blossomed as a young woman and
you said, clearly there is noGod because he could have given me this
before. Maybe you know, somepeople have the opposite revelation. They'll say,
oh alu wock bar you going,and you go, eh, look

at this, I got all Ineed. Now look at me now listen.
Like I said, I was alwaysconfident. I guess start looking at
myself in a vertical mirror now likeI never thought I was ugly until I
look back at photos like, ohwow, I was pretty rough, but
I was always in like this.It was pretty rough, like just so
awkward. I got my first tattooat four and then from then on the
very very and then I think Itold you guys. It was seventh grade

and I've always been about giving backto the community into charity. I decided
to donate my hair, so myhair wasn't real long. Unfortunately, she
decided to donate her hair to theto the American Red Cross, and they
go, what the hell is this? We need blood. So I donated
it, and my hair is thick, so this is for Locks of Love.
It was not a good look forme, so I'm already super skinny,

awkward looking brace face, and thenI just wanted to make myself even
uglier. I mean, like,let's go short hair with my thick curly
hair wasn't a good luck. Soreally that freshman year, it took about
two years to get it long again. So all in that same time developed
got the braces off, hair grew. Who's that guy? Is me?

Great Cyrus answer? Yeah, Iremember donating to Locks of Love. Yeah
yeah, you had long hair likethat long hair, yeah yeah, long
time, and uh, buddy ofmine was like, you freaking sell out.
I just kind of showed him thatbecause I didn't tell anybody that's what
it was. But you know,I just the because they don't take pubic

hair, Bill, some of thosekids want some gray hair because they don't
get the experience off of it.Bill, He's really just coming out with
us. Some people go gray early. Some of mine was foundly gray when
I was twenty one. But hey, by the way, speaking of Ohio
and all of the things that cancome from the Buckeye State and it's unparalleled
education system, mentioned the Spelling Beefinals. I was talking about it yesterday

because as a lifelong word nerd anda former regional Illinois Spelling Bee champion,
I was especially interested to see whatwas happening last night. And there were
a lot of Ohio kids repping theNational Spelling Bee. You now they didn't
win Io. Did you use thatin the sentence? There were twenty kids

from Texas. What's one of themost things people do in the Midwest Ohio?
I couldn't follow that. What's anannoying thing that people do in Ohio?
There you go. There were seventeenOhio kids in the National Spelling Bee
last night at Ohio tied with Californiafor the second most participants from any state.

So say what you want, Goahead, say what you want.
But the kids in Ohio, howmany of them were Indian kids? Though?
Well here from Strongsville, was therehe Canton's logan cocks no relation Oliria
is Kaylee Ann Anderson. That doesn'tsound Indian to me. But yeah,

a lot of other a lot ofOhio competitives. The whole thing was m
who won the whole thing. Ididn't see not someone from Ohio. No,
not someone from Ohio. Let usdown. I didn't see who won.

Did I hear you say you wonIllinois Regional spell like the Northern region
kind of Yeah, I didn't win. I didn't win the Illinois State Spelling
b But I got five grand forschool and I got a big old trophy,
and you know that's awesome. Doyou still have the trophy? Oh
no, it's in my parents' basementsomewhere. No, no, no,

it's not display Hey look at this, but there's a picture of me holding
it when I was like, oh, I just terrible, looked like I
ran my hair through a lawnmower andI had this sweater around with a half
the collar coming out is terrible.Everything you'd possibly envision in somebody who was
proud of that. But we allwent through a weird I guess, I

guess. No, I don't know. Aiden Win maybe was the winner Birmingham,
Alabama. It might be if that'sthe kid, right, I don't
know if I expected that. Well, you got a lot of tiger moms
and tiger dads out there trying toget these kids. But anyway, congratulations
Ohio. Pat yourself on the back, be ak back, and for having

the second most repped people in theNational Spelling Bee this year. I wish
I could find out who won,but I didn't know. It's interesting that
it's this difficult find out who won. Who won? Uh, brew Hot

Soma is who won. Yeah,spelled twenty nine words correctly, and it
was only the second time they everhad a spell off. It was a
tie breaker, so they had togo boo boom was a sudden death and
brew Hot Soma he hadn't lost aspelling bee in eight months and he won.

They held this in Maryland and hewon the National Spelling Bee last night.
Why did they cut off the spellingbee for like schools? Like why
not just keep going into like yourlike twenties and stuff like it? Can't
people keep spelling. There's that JasonBateman movie called Bad Words. Yeah,
yeah, where he's a grown manand he's like, I want to take

my crown back. And because there'sno rule in here that says that I
can't be in it, would youever enter if there was an adult?
No? No, no, huhuhyou've lost your touch, I think so,
Yeah, because you study so much. Yeah, they give you giant
packets for each letter of the alphabet. So there's thirty pages for a you

know in like ten point font columnsof words. I mean you just like
and you got to know what theyare. Yeah, it's just there's no
payoff now, I mean, backthen, everybody's trying to get money for
college, right right. So thiskid is a twelve year old seventh grader
from Tampa, Florida. He getsa trophy and more than fifty thousand dollars
in cash and prizes. Yeah,he rehearsed every day for six months.

That's what I'm talking about. Like, it's a this is a kid you
know he's like training for the Olympics. Oh il y mp i CS Olympics.
There you go, still got it. But also you got to know,
like if a word has a hyphenin it, it's got a silent
letter. Yes, right, livedBilly Madison. See oh are are you

going to the ball? Yeah?Well, anyway, Congress of that dudent,
Congrats to the seventeen kids from Ohiothat we're in. Clevelanders are damn
proud of their city. Come on, you were born here, he moved
here. This is a man whohas endured real torture in a foreign setting.

So who's the real hero? Iwould hope people would listen to our
heroes. Alan Cock WMMS. OhTomorrow Night Baby, we're back. We

had a week off. Our metalshow on Saturday nights is called two Hours
to Midnight. Fall hits me rightright where I live. So good.
You're probably into this stuff, right, I mean, you hate Taylor Swift,
so you must like this stuff.I'm sorry you hate Taylor Swifts.
Fans say she hates Saylor Swifts,and she did say she hates the fans.

She said, Taylor Swift makes music. Oh that's what it right,
of course, Tomorrow night, teno'clock me, Corey Roddick, Pat Butler,
the heavy Metal Triumvirate here at theBuzzard. It's two hours and nothing
but metal. So there was aWest Coast Guardians game that kicked us off

the air last Saturday night. Butwe're back tomorrow night to usher in Pride
Month, Pride in our love forheavy metal. So two hours to midnight
Tomorrow night gonna play gay. Itis brand new. We'll call it what
you want. I love it.New music from era extortionist, a band
called Rickshaw Billy's Burger Patrol that soundsfun. Yeah, I got a good

song out and all kinds of stuff. So tomorrow night starts at ten o'clock
sharp. It is called two Hoursto Midnight, and I hope that you
can join us. If a metalscratches you where you itch, I want
me give a Bridget a pat onthe back, for she's said the hangover
is setting in now, and she'syeah, but uh week, we've done

it. Everybody on the show has, you know, come, whether or
not hangover, just not feeling great. You know, we powered through,
so we appreciate you powering through.One time I went to a tool concert,
had a lot of fun and thenwas probably my top three hangover of
all time. But still came anddid the show. Was throwing up during

the show. I was laying onthe floor. They set up a different
microphone for him. This is whenwe were on a tree and an engineer
came in. When weed to haveengineers. He set up a wire,
a wired mic that I could layon the floor and use. That's the

thing over for me. I'm justgot so tired. Yeah, I was.
I was. I wasn't laying downbecause I was tired. I was
laying down because I couldn't sit up. Yeah. Still did the whole show.
Still did the whole show. Stilldid by comedy show later that night.
It was it was here's him vomitinginto the garbage, splattered into the

camliner. It's very short because Istarted immediately howling. But what do you
want? He came in and hedid it. I did it. I'm
here too, all right, uhhuh so yeah, power there. I'm
gonna go home and sleep right afterthe show. Here you go get into
my work week, into the workweek. Do you have something tonight you've

got to go do? No?No, okay, I'm literally going to
sleep at six thirty. Okay,I gotta be up super early to host
an event tomorrow. I'll be backon my a game. Yep. Listen,
and this is a great I certainlyhope that you aspiring young ladies go.

This is what it takes to dothis right. It's not enough to
be a pretty face. This iswhat it takes. You've got to be
willing to show up when you're hungover, when you're sick. It doesn't matter,
it doesn't matter. Show Biz neversleeps baby, that show biz baby,
right. If you don't do it, there's somebody, there's a lot

of people behind you. You doit faster, cheaper, whatever. Never
get sick. What's the number onerule in showbiz? Never get sick?
Never? But there it is.I remember there was one Brown's game,
not this past season, the seasonbefore, and it was actual like sickness,
like I just really bad cold.And again there's only so many home
games, like I have to showup. Who's going to do Who's going

to do it? So I hada power through while you're sick. Yep.
Fortunately, you gals can always throwcramps into the mix. When you've
got to tell somebody, why youcan't be somewhere. I've got cramps.
That's when I just used diarrhea.I've got Yeah, I've got diarrhea.
And I can't come in of Diana. No, you got to learn it

in multiple languages. So guys,I can't come in. And there's a
really good reason why. But I'mfar too modest. Tell you what that
would be. Hey, the DallasMavericks are in the NBA Finals. Luka
Doncic and Kyrie Irving. Remember thatguy? Oh yeah, remember Kyrie Irving.

He used to play for the Celtics. He's going to face his old
team in the finals, MAVs Celtics. They're going to start on the sixth
that is next Thursday night. Theystarted in Boston. Yes, okay,
they got home court advantage there.The number one seed in the Evericks were
number five. Oh yeah, theyrolled over the timber Wolves. I like

the headline though. The twenty twentyfour NBA Finals presented by YouTube TV exclusively
on ABC, the exclusive broadcaster.So eight thirty next Thursday night, that
is your tip off Game one.I can't imagine anybody around here gives a
rats ass, But I mean,you know, we have people that listen
to Dallas and Boston, and soMAVs Celtics next Thursday night, jilled sixth

exclusively at ABC. And of course, because Kyrie used to play for the
Celtics and wasn't really a like toguy there, you know, he's kind
of he's very petulant. I hopethat maybe he's learned a bit, perhaps
he's matured down there in Dallas.But of course, when this was all
announced, people in Boston started passingaround on social media the time that Kyrie

Irving called into a Boston sports radioshow under a fake name to defend himself.
Remember that clip. Oh wow,I actually forgot it. Yeah,
he called in and they were like, wait a second. When he was
done talking, they pretty much figuredout what was going on. I think
then saying that with such a raretalent like Tyrie, it's such a shame

that the fans and welcome welcome himin more. Sounds like those are so
rare, they don't come by fast, and I think it serves us right
then. Now he's gone, andlook at what we left with. Oh
my god, wow, No,that's him, that's it. It's the
inflection that is him. It's notjust the voice, it's the inflection in
the way he talks. I didn'tI didn't catch that at all. Wouldn't

happened live? Are you just blownaway? Mm hmm, Well, congratulatings.
I must have missed that or forgotabout it. Oh yeah, so
funny that he did that. Yeah, yeah, he was doing going through
some things. Ye, he seemsto be somewhat normal. Now, well
that's what I'm saying, you know, just even some out. Maybe maybe

Mark Cuban in some way was agood influence. You know, he's considered
to be one of the good guysin those upper echelons there. So Game
one is Thursday night. Celtics arethe favorites. But we'll see what happens.
Hey, Joe, Hey, thereall you guys doing today. Let's
going on. Joe Hey, Igot a quick question for uh for Bridget

Okay, okay, just uh offthe wall, but uh, did you
ever go to a school in Ohio? Absolutely? It wasn't. It wasn't
West Yoga High School, was it? No? Not, I went to

Green High School Green, Okay,because I went to school with the Linton
in West Yoga High School over inJiaga County, and I was just wondering
if he related any of those guyslike Mark Linton or somebody I don't know
in that area. All right,then I'm just wondering. Okay, we'll

thank you very much, no problem, no relation. I feel like Linton
is not a common name either.I don't know. I don't know.
Are you sure his name wasn't ClintonMark C. Linton? Maybe I don't
know. Okay, thank you,Joe. I'm sorry we couldn't make your
weekend there. And what would hehave done if you had answered in the

affirmative right, just say like,oh, that's cool, or maybe he
had a story about him. Whoknows, Oh you're related to him,
Yeah, that's my uncle. Ohanyway, I saw him stab a lady
to death one time. Oh,I gotta go. And then you're just
left holding the bag wondering what happenedto the Linton family. Yes, well,

I have to assume though, thatyour parents are probably and I'm sure
you've talked about it before, butdoesn't spring to my mind. Your parents
are probably prominent people in the communitytoo, aren't they. So there's like
a whole battle with my dad.So he was a school teacher, a
battle with your dad? Whom him? And who me? Oh? And
you? Yeah? Yeah? Sohe was a school teacher, also a

coach football and track, many undefeatedseasons. All of his students love him.
He coached and taught forever. Sotypically whenever we're out in Green,
whether we're at a restaurant or whereverit may be, he always runs into
a student. But I always beenretired for several years, and now I'm
starting to get recognized more than him, and so we have this, we
have this little battle, like who'sthe most famous person in the Linton family

in Green, Ohio? Right?He still says it's him, but he's
a legend and they're like, well, Dad, seems like when we go
out, people aren't coming up toyou. It's almost like he he'll ask
them like did I have you inclass? And people like what he's doing
that? Yeah, he's embarrassed.He's really stretching. Now, I'm like,
Dad, just accept the loss,yeah, because you do have to
step aside for your kids when theysupplant you. But he's probably looking at

it from like he had more yearsyep in his position than you've had,
and you it's like my friend MarianKyle over at Channel three. Her dad,
of course, was coach Kyle atsant Ignatius. He was a very
very prominent coach there for many yearsand very well liked. And so it's
like, you know, there's thatlittle tug of war there. Yep,
that's me and my dad, right. I mean, I think he's joking
about it, but I'm actually competitiveabout it. I'm like, yeah,

Dad, No, I don't know. Well, I didn't want to get
too deeply in it, but thatwas the story that I had heard,
is that during you had pushed himinto oncoming traffic one time as you guys
were walking around. Well, it'sfunny. We do go on walks a
lot. It's like me and mydad's bonding time, especially in the summer.
I'm home. I'm yeah, Dad, let's go walk around the neighborhood
and there we agree, only ifyou won't sing. Yeah, he probably
would deny me if I said I'msinging the entire time. He may say

I will pass. He'd throw himselfinto one traffic, He actually would.
He actually kind of likes my sharethough. He laughs every time. Well,
yeah, it's definitely funny. Noone's saying it's not funny, right,
it's just not good. But we'llbe walking and cars will honk,
and he'll make a little comments like, so what do you think they're honking?
Like who's that? There's the famousmister Linton? Who's that random girl
he's with. I'm like, Dad, it's not like they're probably maybe both

of us, maybe we just exceptwe're both a little famous. Yeah,
gee, I wonder who they're honkingat? Hot girl walking down the street
or old guy walking with her?Gee, I wonder who get a little
monk Like, yeah, I don'tthink that's way it works. Yeah,
Well, it's gonna be tough tobe a coach because you really are.
You're revered by the guys. Yeah. True, and you're revered for like

your tenure with those schools like afterwards, thanks for service. He's really hanging
on to it all these years later. And is your mom is a lot
of eye rolling with your mom?Or she has to she's like Switzerland,
right, she has to say neutralin this argument between the two. I
think she'd be on my side.She would be, Yeah, we kind
of ging up on him a lot. Okay, And you do have siblings,

I know We've talked about this,but remember I was the oops child,
right, the oops child? Whoops? Was the plan on happening?
On? Again? Are the dancingbegan in the womb? Yep? As
it was? Did wow? Allright? And so I also have this
competition with my siblings of who's thefavorite child, and they're like bridget,

no one else is in this competition, but you just give it up,
like, well, I just youknow, I am the best way to
win. Yeah, I'm the favorite. You're fighting against yourself. Yeah,
all right, Like the youngest isalways the favorite. Well again, my
sister is seventeen years behind me,so she's, you know, probably the
favorite. Maybe, yeah, Idon't know. I always felt like maybe
I was because I was the oldest, but who knows. Yeah, for

there was a small stint where Ithink my sister won because she gave them
the first grandkid. Yeah, sothey were really liking her a lot.
Now again, some people are pointingout how it's potentially strange that your father
has been retired for several years andyet you're only twenty six and there's a
lot of things. Remember I waswhoops, they had me old in life?
Math is weird? They did itactually actually really did have me old.

It's more common now, but backthen, twenty six years ago,
it wasn't common to have a childin the age like my When my mom
had my sister, she was fortyyeah, and my dad was forty four
like my dad was the when mysister was born. My dad was the
same age that I was when mysecond grader was born. That's crazy because
I mean, I have two olderkids, but I mean, but yeah,

I was like, it's very strange. So then I'm constantly doing math,
you know, because girls never getenough time with their dads. And
my dad died summer before last.Oh, my sister was only thirty three.
I think she's thirty something like that. She's early thirties. And my
mom's dad died when my mom wastwenty nine, so it's kind of Yeah,

it's this weird thing where, youknow, because my sister was born
so much later than the rest ofus, we all got a lot more
time. That's why I get mydad walking all the time, right,
me flexible and yeah, active,come on dad for a Father's Day something.
Oh, I usually always go withthe golf, ye, and he
loves the golf. He loves whiskey. I don't think I can do that

one, that's true. That wouldbe a little difficult. Yeah, I
probably will do something whiskey cigar golfrelated. Whiskey cigar golf related. Those
are his favorite things. Whiskey,cigar and golf. Well, he is
a coach, isn't he. That'swhat retired like checks all the boxes.

Yeah, what if you're not intothose things? Like when people talk about
he was probably very much looking forwardto retire. Yes, yeah, he's
like, I can get the hellout of this racket, so I can
have my whiskey and my cigars andmy golf, go golf whenever I want.
Yeah, loves it up all right. No good for him. Hey.
By the way, I can't believeit took them this long to do

this, But the NHL has announcedthe Stanley Pup. You see this,
Hey, you know they have thePuppy Bowl during the Super Bowl and the
NHL is rolling out the Stamp pup. So that is next Friday night,
one week from tonight on ESPN inthe United States. They entail all thirty

two NHL teams will be represented bya dog and these This is an adoption
thing. You know you've watched thePuppy Ball before. They help the animals.
Yeah, and so the NHL isdoing this now. And now they
pointed out that they're not really gonnabe on ice. I wish they were.
It would be one hundred times moreexciting if they were on ice,

but they're not. It's gonna looklike that. But the inaugural Stanley Pup
will be next Friday, presented bypet COO And boy, that's exciting.
And I can't believe it took them. The people with the NHL have watched
twenty years. I think it's beenaround that long. Puppy bol has been
in a long time night. Yeah, for twenty years. These guys at

the NHL watched the Puppy Bowl andthought, God, I wish we could
do something like that, if onlywe had a cool name for it.
Someone new was hired in the marketingdepartment, I guess, so, yeah,
figured it all out, like,hey, dummies, why don't we
have dogs running around and doing stuff? Okay, well, yeah, good
for them. Hey there's also alady. I'm a gen xer. I

was born in nineteen seventy one,and I don't remember at all. I
remember the year. I remember theday. But I see this girl.
She's really gone viral on TikTok becauseshe's a gen xer too, and she's
kind of angry and she her name'sKelly Mano, and she posts a lot
of these videos where like a millennialor a gen Z will ask a question

and then she'll come out guns blazinglike we didn't have to do this,
and we you don't understand, youknow, not angry. She's being cheeky.
But I'm so sick of them.I don't don't remember it being a
thing because well, it's just sosocial media has made it such a thing
where it's like because the one thingthat I've never related to is people in

my generation. So like when peoplelike, oh, oh you millennials,
are just like, I'm like,nah, I was always just kind of
doing my own thing. So whenpeople talk about all that crap, I'm
just like, nah, it's I'mnot I don't know. I always felt
like an outcast anyway. So whenpeople are like, oh, millennials all
do this. Also, I'm ina weird spot where I'm an old millennial.
So everything that they're attributing to millennialsis the younger ones, and they're

like, yeah, I'm doing anyof this stuff they do so well.
I identify very much with my generation. But it's because specifically we didn't care
about anything. Right. You mighthave noticed we've been left out of the
generational arguments because it's been boomers versusgen Zers, because nobody's thinking about gen
X, and that's how we likeit. So this lady, she's making

us sound like boomers. You're like, hey, keep it quiet. Oh,
we're the generation people. We're hangingout. Yes, well, I
don't know if they like. Butthen thinking about it, that's fine.
And when y'all are saying that y'allused to drink from the hose, we're
sink's not an option. Who's gonnatell them? You want me to tell
them? We weren't allowed in thehouse. Our childhood was like one never
any episode of that TV show Survivor. We are indestructible. We've never sat

in car seats, nobody's ever givenus swimming lessons. We've all been either
shot with a baby gun or stabbedwith the jarts. The television stations had
to make a commercial reminding our parentsthat they had kids. Every night on
the ten PM news. A voicewould come on and say, it's ten
pm. Do you know where yourchildren are? Sinks, We're not an
option. That's how you know.She's also Central time because of the ten

PM news, that's what we had, you know, in the Midwest.
But she's funny, No, it'sfunny. Her videos are funny. But
it's kind of like that's just allthe stuff that I heard when I was
starting stand up too. Well.No, but it's also I think she's
just a regular lady on these comicBut I know she's not a comic.
But I'm saying, like, thisis rehashed stuff I've heard so many times
that are like, yeah, weget it. You got to other all

the tough and like it. Itmakes it sound like boomers. Yeah,
yeah, I don't know, it'sjust weird. It's just you kids don't
know what's going on. I'm like, because that ain't me. Also,
drinking on the hose, like I'veseen kids still do that. Kids will
drink from anything. They're idiots,Like it's we drank from the hydrant.
Yeah, like a hydrant that's disgusting. No spray all over the place to

tick your mouth on. Yeah,But and a lot of the times when
you drink from the hose just becauseyou were outside having fun and you didn't
want to go Yeah, yeah,because you're just like, oh, I'm
I'm not doing stuff. There's thehose. You gotta let it run for
a second. You learn that sothey don't get the hot water and you
take a few slugs from the hoseand then get back to work. And
you would have been screamed at tonot drip through the house in the first

place. Yeah, that's why youwent for the hose. Yeah, called
the Alan Cox show. Your pieceof crape double O seven eight one,
double O seven back is Waking MeUp? Is good? Well? From

the Stork Brown little baby Devil withthe sticking now like a sort thumb with
a forehead. It from I'm Stilla White Shirt campling up in the quick
learning the sight with shirt but lightshirt, controlling kid rock, I make
believe you guys, take me.If I what's the Whodini is the brand
new eminem song drop? If Iwhat's the making the I mean, listen,

you can pull from your own musicall you want, right, And
there's some people that are like,oh this sounds like yeah, that's the
point. He's sampling Abracadabra from Millerb B. I love that's great,
very very funny. I wanted totell you the last time I heard Abra
cadabra from this Steve Miller band.But I like Eminem grabbing it for Houdini

so good. I just listened toit today before I came in. I'm
like, oh, M is definitelyback, and I loved it. It
was almost like two thousands Eminem versustwenty twenty four. Yeah, well that's
the videos the video too. Yeah, so good. I love that guy.
If I could meet any celebrity,that's who I'd want to meet.
Eminem and m Yeah, we're bothjust a couple of b rabbits. You
know. Well, you would certainlythink that after yesterday, Donald Trump would

have been at the very top ofthe trending topics, but it was Eminem.
Is that good? Yeah? Iguess so, Eminem was at the
very top. I mean, Ithink people really quickly forgot about the Kendrick
Lamar and Drake drama when they hearEminem, Like, Okay, this is
a real rapper Eminem. Yeah,well I think those other guys are too.
Yeah, but but Eminem is likea supernova type, you know when

he does something because he's not constantly. I mean, I don't know the
last thing Eminem did. It's beena minute. Yeah, but the video's
funny and it's and when first andHoudini, I was like, I thought
it was a dua lipa song.But two people can have songs with the
same title in them. It's goodthere's two that are using the same song

because Abkadebra's already a song, soit's true. Steve Miller bands, I'm
excited for the rest of the album, can't wait to hear it. When
does that come out? I dropthis. I want to say it's sometime
in July, but I'm not okay. Well, I dropped at midnight last
night and people were appropriately excited.Yes, I think very what's your favorite

Eminem song? It's tough, Iknow. I mean, my wife's in
Detroit, so she's way deeper intothat. We saw him at Austin City
Limits years ago, and but hewas able to just do like an hour
of hits. Those festival sets obviouslyshorter, and so that to me was
probably the perfect way for me tosee him for the first and still only

time because it was great combination ofall this. Yeah, I mean it
would have to be. I don'tjust lose yourself from me, is it?
See? I think that to meis like Foo Fighters ever long,
Like this is a yeah. Butif I never hear it again, I'll
be fine. But I like thereal slim shady. Yeah, it's a
great one. Yeah, I willsay Lose Yourself is my pump up song.

Like, honestly, when would competein Irish dance you have a little
nano iPod and I would have tolisten to that song before I went on
stage, because it does. Itgets you. You go one moment,
one opportunity sees everything you ever wanted, You forgot about dre all good.

One opportunity you ever wanted? Yeah, none of it. It's okay,
it gets you pumped. I haven'tJust because I mentioned spaghetti the words spaghetti
in a rap song or any song, I'm probably gonna like it. Have
you had it? I kind ofliked it, I didn't have the actual

spaghetti. So you know. Irepresent Cross Country Mortgage as their spokesperson,
and the chief branding officer is fromDetroit and she lives there most of the
time. She'll come back to Clevelandand she knows I love Eminem, and
she brought me back two jars ofthe Moms spaghetti spaghetti sauce. I thought
it was great. It was sogood. I haven't had this sauce.

I have a theory that Eminem oneof his songs he is talking about me,
I'll bite. It might be similarto me saying I sound like share,
but it kind of the shoe fits. So it's a song with Ed
Chern called those kind of Nights.It's in the first verse he talks about

someone being Miss Ohio and from Cleveland. Oh, and I'm sure there's a
lot other miss Whiles from Cleveland.But I mean you'd have to think,
oh, okay, well you livein Cleveland now Greater Metropolitan when you were
doing that. The song is newer, So I think it might be when
did the song come out. Iactually don't know, Okay, like maybe

a year or two ago. Itsounds like newer. And those nights,
yeah, those kind of nights.And I I've been to like Hustler Club
in Cleveland, and so he talkedabout meeting Miss Ohio at a strip club
and she's from Cleveland, and I'mlike, they could have been who else
would it be. I definitely donot meet eminem because I would remember that.
But it is kind of interesting thatyou wrote those lyrics. He's manifesting

it to meet he wants to meetyou. Yeah, I think he wanted
to meet you. He could justbe like, I send him like seven
thousand dems. He hasn't seen anyof them. Thousand What are you doing?
A hustler club? They used tobe an advertising partner when I was
at in Cleveland, and so Igot to know the marketing. No,
no, no, no, butI was. I watched, I was.

I mean, those girls are impressive. They're athletes. Sure, that's
what I say. Tricks on thatboth. Yeah, you got to earn
your keep. Yeah yeah, I'llplay that song for you to break.
I think you you'll you maybe agree, Okay, Alan rap isn't music.

I mean, that's no, notaccording to me. I didn't say that.
You said that a couple of weeksago. Now I did not.
I never said not music. I'mold. I did never said that.
I said, how long is Emina? I'm going to do this? And
everybody got their undies in a twistthe only did was ask a question.
Yeah, no, I never saidraps not music. I mean it's not

my go to genre, but Imean it is. You know they are
writing lyrics, yes, and notmusic. And I like old school rap
better like the newer rappers. Theydo. They repeat themselves a lot of
times. It doesn't make sense.But Eminem, he is very thoughtful in
his lyrics, so creative, andhe can rhyme anything. I'm just very
impressed with him. Well that's howhe got to worry, that's how he

stood out. Yeah for a whitedude. Now, everybody from the three
to one three put your hands upand follow me. Know why he stands
tough. Notice that this man doesnot have his hands up. Huh.
You like that movie eight Mile?Yeah? Never saw it, Alan,
That is a sim Nope, Wellcan you add it to your list?
No? Why never didn't interest me? Then doesn't interest me? No?

That is crazy? Why because it'sso good, that's everybody says, and
I have no doubt that it is. But I don't know that there's anything
in there that's going to scratch.I mean, Brittany Murphy's dead, so
that'd be weird watching her. Samereason. I can't watch Clues anymore.
Yeah, that's tough, but Idon't watch any movies that people who have
since died. It's really cut downmy ring and things I hate about you.

You're never watching it. I neversaw it to begin. I can't
watch The Dark Knight, Yeah,Rises, whatever it was. I can't
watch Broke Back Mountain And you knowhow much I love Broke Back Mountain Bridge
it your favorite? Oh my god, it's my favorite to well, No,
twenty four Hour Party People is stillmy favorite Pride Month movie. But
I don't know that one. Well, you should get on it. AnyWho,

No, eight Mile And it's thesame thing with my wife. She's
like, how have you not seenname? I just you know, especially
since she's from Detroit, Like,yeah, brought your wife in her city.
I'm not listen. I was onthe air there for many years.
I'm not going I have nothing againstit. It's just nothing I've sought out.
If I was clicking around and itwas on, I go, okay,

maybe, so what made you listento who do you Need Today?
Just because it was a news topic. I want to hear that. I
wanted to hear it, Okay,because they'd been talking about he was going
to be dropping and he put outthat oh bit in the paper about slim
Shady was dead or whatever, andno, I'm I'm always interested in what
he's doing because he's a crazy talentedguy. But rap is not my go

to genre, right. I knowa lot of those players in that genre
I'm familiar with, like a handfulof you know, like Kendrick Lamar and
things like that. Does great work. All these people do great work.
It's just not my go to thing. I'm never I'm never cranking those bangers
in the car. I'm not.You know, it's not it's not.

My girlfriend got very excited about thisthough, because she's like that, like
Eminem's her top artist of all time. Yeah he's a white girl. Yeah,
She's like, this is the bestthing I've ever heard. It sounds
like Emine. You guys hate myplaylist? Then, yeah, why is
that a lot of Eminem? Alot of No, I don't hate my
wife, but she's just tupacin Biggieand all I said, it's a white
girl. They love that stuff,so I understand it. But white girls

also love Taylor Swift and guess youwill not find on my playlist Taylor Swift,
because but those aren't the girls listeningto Eminem and Kendrick Lamar and you
know, maybe Drake. But ourbuddy Anthony Mackie was an eight mile Well
maybe I'll watch it for him.He featured prominently in that Oh my god.

Yeah, I wonder why you knowthat movie was such a hit.
I wonder why he didn't do anymore movies. Right, he was good
in it. Yeah, he wasthe one. Yeah, he was the
one that Eminem once he did.He what Anthony mackis in quite a few
movies. Yeh. Was offered somemovies and he turned him down because he

was offered the boxing movie, well, the Jake Chillon Hall boxing, was
offered that Southwall. He was offeredthe one with Elysium, I think it
was called, and he said,yeah, they'll film it in Detroit.
I'll do it, and they're like, no, I gotta film in Detroit,
And so I went to Matt Damon. I mean, Elysium was about
an apocalyptic future. Why couldn't theyhootthat in Detroit. It's either going to

be there or here when they shootthose kinds of movies. We in an
area that looks like it's been justtorn to shreds. Well, talk to
either the Detroit or Cleveland film commissionsand they'll set you right up. Well,
maybe i'll make it a point.You know, I've got this little
checklist of things I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to eat a Polish boy.
I never had one of those,and I, uh, maybe I'll

make myself a never mister hero,never had, mister hero. Maybe I'll
make myself a note to watch eightmile eight miles good. Yeah, I
came out, I mean, listen, it made a ton of money.
I think the song got nominated foran oscar. Like, no, I've
never heard anybody go like it wasokay. Everybody's like it's great. Yeah,
it's just it's not something that everlike occurs to me to watch,

and it's on TV pretty frequently.Trying to make it as a rapper like
that's not a thing where I wouldyou know, that's pretty cool. No,
that's what everybody says. I mean, and it's kind of inspiring.
He literally came from trailer park nowhere, didn't have anything, and now look
at him, he's huge. Idon't need to be inspired, you know,
please, it's a fun movie though, Like, I mean, it's
a it's a he's got he's gotvomited on his sweater already smiles. Fore

he's got I'm watching a movie,but I got pukes on his shirt,
like because he got the nerves becauseat the beginning of the movies not he
can't get over his nerves. Yeah, and then when he finally does,
he really really brings I have achoke artist anymore. So my brother is
the one that introduced me to Eminem, like talk about major fan, like
did dye his hair bleach blonde anddid the whole thing. I thought he

was Eminem for Yeah, he reallythought he was Eminem. And he's seven
years older than me. So hereI am like a seven eight year old
wrapping Eminem all the time because hehad to drive me places and always had
Eminem on. So he got marriedtwo three years ago and they asked me
to marry them. So I'm anno Dane minister, and I officiate.

I know, I've caught myself.I'm like, yeah, I married my
brother Like no, no, Imean, I mean I I officiated his
wedding too, his now wife.You thought you were arguing with your dad
before right right, So, andagain I'm thinking I'm being asked to be
a bridesmaid. I'm reading this letter, so I'm kind of like skimming through
it. I'm like, oh,this is really nice, you know,
they're telling me all these nice things. And then I see the last line

says, if anyone can incorporate eminemlyrics into a wedding ceremony, it's you,
will you marry us? I'm like, wait, huh. They're like,
it's pretty easy to get ordained likethis. It was a funny joke
in the note. Yeah, obviouslyI don't think my brother was serious,
but I did it, So that'swhat I said. I'm like, all
right, you're finally married. Ican't believe this day is here. I
thought you'd be nervous, palm,sweaty, knees, week arms heavy.

I'm like, but look, there'sno vomit on your sweater or anything.
And slipped it right in. Prettycreative, right, and they were very
pleased. Well, people didn't knowEminem they did it, but my brother
he gave it the big eyes like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna say
so everybody else thought that you werehaving a stroke. Why would they think
that there's no vomit on your sweater. H Maybe I didn't say that he's

wearing it. He's wearing like atux or a suit. She's like,
look, there's no vomit on yoursweater. I don't think I said that
part. I think I just didthe palm, sweaty, knees, week
arms heavy, uh huh, theappropriate part for his balls are ready,
Oh god, get married, weddingnight, Yeah, waiting, balls,
empty, stomach ful, whatever itwas. People are angry that I haven't

seen it, Mal Yeah, Iam too, of course. Why would
they be angry angry? It's stillyou're missing out on the lot. Are
you a pantry, Allen? Imean kind of seems like a boy.
Great Friday. Wow, that wasthat real. Someone called it and said
that that was to us so real. That was a news anchor in Alaska.

Right, I don't know what you'retalking about, bill Ah, Yes,
hello, A bunch of as souls? Oh Grandma, I did miss
you so much? What a bunchof as souls? Oh Grandma? Yeah,
everybody's mad at me. Piece ofcrap? All right? Oh yeah,
god damn, come on nice tome. I mean, okay,

you're not a huge rap fan.I know it's not your choice of music,
but would you say Eminem would beyour favorite rapper or who oh gosh,
I don't know Macklamore, I meanmy favorite rapper. I wouldn't.
Uh. I probably know more ofhis stuff than anybody, but I would
go back further. I'm gen Xlike I go back further. So Tupac

Biggie that stuff even before that.What about Bone Thugs and Harmony? Yeah,
bone Thugs. That was the firstshow we went to go see because
when we moved to Cleveland out ofnowhere, and my wife's like, well,
then you got to take me tosee Bone Thugs. And we saw
them at the House of Blues.It was the first show we saw when
we came to Cleveland that It wasBone Thugs at the House of Blues.

There was one hundred guys on stageand the cops come in because they got
warrants. It was a wild show. They're great, though, and your
wife is a smart lady for choosingthat. They're smart choosing me everything else.
Bridge, bro, I'm sorry,let's say you chose her as to
each other. Hey, Derek Alanhate the show? What's up? So

you were talking about generation the stuffbefore Bill never felt part of a generation
on stuff. I have a theoryI'm working on. So I'm a millennial,
I'm a younger millennial, and I'mthirty six or older. I'm an
older millennial. I apologize. SoI was bitually with my brother. How

you know other millennials are so lazy, But I'm I have a theory.
Part of us were raised by genxers like yourself and you guys are a
tough generation, but a lot ofthem rebelled against their parents parent wise to
give way to what we now referto as helicopter parents, and that kind
of softened the generation and you know, made them kind of the way they

are. I was raised by boomers, same generation as you were. Yeah,
So like I kind of got ataste of that in my early life,
Like I you know, I wasI remember pre internet, pre self
owes, I remember with stuff withclothes on Sunday. I was left to
my own devices to say the least, you know, and you know me
touch base when you find a phoneor whatever. But like you know,

so it's it's every generation kind ofhas that by that kind of like yeah,
yeah, generation raising yep, youknow well, and I think it's
a it is a generation's job toreject what came before them, and so
it's your job to kind of rejectwhat your parents were into within reason,

I think. But I mean theyknow that generation so like it spans twenty
years in that game, that doesn'tmake sense because my experience is way closer
to what Alan experienced than what someonetwenty years younger than like you know,
or seventeen years younger than like whatme, a twenty six year old like
Bridget went through. Yeah, that'syeah, same well, And I think

Socrates or Plato or one of themhad a speech where he he called the
generation in the worst ener ever,And I have a I think every generation
is the worst generation ever decides that, you know what I mean, Well,
every There's a great song in theearly nineties called every Generation's Got its
Own Disease, And I always Ithink of that a lot because it's like,

yes, every people go, whycan't kids now do X, Y
and Z. It's like, becausethat's not their world. Their world is
not X Y and Z. Thatwas our world. They have to live
in their world now, which ispartly our fault. So it's no.
But in the in this speech hegave Socrates or playing I forget what one
he calls the generation lazy. Andhere you think there he was talking about

kids today. Now, these arekids that didn't have indoor plumbing, you
know what I mean. They hadto work to take it dump, you
know, right, but it wasn'tthe work to take the dump is work
to clean it up. Yeah,the same dude, we got to change
our diet, right well, andthat is that is Socrates is who you're
talking about. And that is funnythat even then people were writing about these

damn kids and they're just their elderswalking in the room and they don't even
stand up anymore. And it's yeah, so it's get off my lawn,
could right right? All right,thank you, Derek. I appreciate it.
Thank you. Yeah, there yougos Derek. No. I mean
when somebody talks about like hip hop, and again, from when I was
growing up, this was I meanI was in college really when Snoop and

like gangsterrap and all that stuff kindof stuff. When I was a kid,
it was like KRS one and SlickRick and all this. You know,
there was more. I mean,they were rapping about their sneakers for
Christ's sake. So it was notheavy duty. Yeah, so it gangster
rap was like a reaction to allthat stuff. But like Big Daddy Kane
and I remember like being in highschool and Buddy Mine had a Boogie Down

Productions poster on his door and Iwas like, oh, what's so listen
to that kind of stuff. That'swhat I think of. But yeah,
there's I mean, you know,we had two live crew my brother.
My brother was way into too short. My brother, Oh I loo short.
I actually like too short too.There you go, you know the
one shake that monkey. Yeah,yeah, I can wrap every word that

one. Oh yeah, you myselfpretty easily. You get really good at
editing when you're somebody who likes tosing a lot of rap. Yep.
I got to add that to mykaraoke list. Stay tuned you guys,
Cockys Bagels next one. Wow youwant a one? Eighties? You went
from share to too short. Thiselection year four a big year. He's

committed to the real issues like dehydratedgreat supply and banana bel protocols. This
is what people care about, AlanCock. One of your point seven ms
A little too short for him.Even lad body with somebody, Hey,

Bridget lens here early man, she'shanging on. Hey, I'm here.
You don't have no listen, dude, you don't. I don't want anybody
here who's like you know. Iwant people to have fun when they're in
here hanging out with why you andwe're on Oh okay, the break.
I want to make sure you don'twant to. She's just trying to recuperate
for a little bit. That's enoughto reach charge. Yeah, I'm golden

over twenty minutes time practicing a littleTM over there. It was really smart
to play eminem Mat. That segmentreally pumped you up. Right now,
if I go into a full hourof Rabbi Shankar, how will that make
you feel? I don't even knowwhat that is. Well, it's okay,
Masha Rehi, Mahesh Yogi, anythinglike that. No, get a

pillow. This city meditation action.Hey, the Cleveland Guardians are back on
friendly soil tonight. They're back hereat home. They're gonna play the all
right, They're gonna play the WashingtonNationals tonight at seven o'clock. Nationals are
under five hundred currently, You're Guardiansare out there killing it. They took

yeah, they took it right.They said he's in tonight. They took
a couple of shots to the nutsa courtesy of the Rockies, believe it
or not. But they're still doingfine. Only the Yankees and the Phillies
are ahead of the Guardians right nowin the standings. My Chicago White Sox

the worst team in baseball. Thatis an appropriate response. Nothing I can
say. All of my other teamsare doing poorly. It is nice.
The Guardians. They're a surprise.I didn't realize they were going to be.
I don't think anybody did. Youknow, you roll the dice every
season, and who knows. Hopefullythere won't be like a you know,
mid season collapse or anything. Butthey're they're killing it right now, you

know. So yeah, hopefully thesame will go for the Cleveland Browns this
year. There you go, therewe go. So yeah, the Guardians
have to be my b team hasto be. They're the only ones that
are doing it for me right now, So congratulations to them. Seven ten
to night will be the first ofthree against the Nationals, and then they'll

host the Royals next week. Sosix thirty six forty something is when the
pregame will start. Since we getout of here tonight, the Bill Squire
Friday get down. Oh the bigcheer, A big cheer. Yeah,
we like to call it the BigBig Cheer. Next week on the program,

I will have a variety of ticketsfor a variety of events for you.
The Cleveland Orchestras performing Raiders of theLost Arc bro at Blossom. That's
fun. June twenty ninth and thirtieth. I will have tickets for you for
that first night. Next week,I will have more passes for you to
join me on Wednesday on the ClevelandFunny Bus. Every Wednesday in May and

June, we're doing Alan Coxrare andI and the Funny Bus like we did
last year. Bill and I arealternating weeks as your leggy and vivacious hosts.
Have you been on the Funny Busbefore? No, we talked about
it last time, though. Igot to come on when you're on there.
I'll just be number one super fan. Come to all of Alan's appearances.
I'll go on the Funny buyes.I'll go to Portage Lakes, throw
up at dan O's and Sandbar.What's the other one? The ramp the

ramp. Yeah, but that's inyour neck of the woods too, I
mean that's where yeah, right,boy, I'm just saying. I mean
you're familiar with that area. I'mmuch less. So I might make a
day of it. If it's beautifulweather, come on out. I'll ask
my friend if she wants to takeout her pontomboat. We'll just roll on
up, doc, come in seeyou. You know who I am.
Ye'll be great. We'll do sometalking, yeah, and then uh yeah,

it'll be fun. Bring your dadout. Yeah, you get to
meet We'll drink legendary coach. We'lldrink some whiskey. There you go.
So how do these appearances work?Do you just sit there and then people
come up to you and like,hey, Ellen, can I get a
photo? Can I have an autograph? I mean I don't. I don't
like to just sit somewhere. II kind of do laughs, Yeah,
dude laughs. I'm not trying toinsert myself into anyone's conversation something to like

sign people up for or a gameor something, and that like gives kind
of breaks the ice to keep itfrom being just literally like sitting at a
table with a yeah, autograph cards, those old headshots that you found.
Oh god, no, thank youplease. I had a friend of mine
actually whose mom was like, pleasehave Alan sign me one of his old

headshots to me. This is acouple and I and she framed it and
it's on their mantle in their house, her mom's house. Yeah. I
gave it to her, left forlike Christmas. I still never met the
woman said I was, but herdaughter is my friend. And I was
like, okay, anyway, Mondayand Tuesday funny bus passes for you,

and then we'll get on the funnybus on Wednesday. But funnybus dot net
they don't only do them on Wednesday. Maybe you want to go and have
a good time, but you don'twant to hang with either me or Bill.
That's entirely understandable too. We getit, Funny get it. No
one gets it more than us,funnybus dot net. Oh, and if
you are not going to be inPortage Lakes tomorrow and they're going to be

in northeast like Cleveland, next weekendis when I'm important. Oh next week,
well, tomorrow I'm going to beat Imposters Theater over on Lorraine in
Ohio City. You get tickets forthat at bill squire dot com. Beautiful
headline the show there at nine thirtypm, no late, no late,
No conflicting events this weekend. Doyou ever take a day off, Bill
or do you basically work seven daysa week? I work a lot.

Yeah, so I know you werehere Monday through Friday. Do do shows
every weekend? Most weekends? Atlast weekend, I was in Geneva on
the Lake, so I think twoweeks two days off, and then I
didn't have anything on Monday either,so I had like a nice three day
and a week nights still, yeah, weeknights I'm usually doing stuff, so
uh, there's definitely a lot ofdays where I do stuff with that.
When I don't have to do anything, I make sure I don't and uh,

you know, try to recover thebest I can and have some good
like last weekend in Geneva, justa nice whole on weekend with my girlfriend
and her daughter and niece and weyou know, it was just it was
great. Geneva on the Lake isbeautiful. It's the best. It's so
fun. I'm like you guys gotthat mentality that work hard, play hard.

I'll work, work, work untilmy body is telling me like take
a rest and then you just sleepall day and then and they're getting to
go again, which I'll be doingtonight. We're getting to that point where
so my pool is usually open bynow, but it's not because they had
to repair it, like updated alittle bit. So they but you can
see how blue it is all paint. It's on my Instagram story and it
looks so nice and I'm so excited. Well, you don't pay attention to

he does. He's got Sunday fundays and yeah, Alan, bet you
over for a Sunday Funday before younot working. I'm there. Do you
have a Juneteenth Off? I believeI do. Oh yeah, god,
we we do have Juneteenth off.Yeah. That's the last funny of us
I'm hosting is on June. Team. Yeah, we're having a pool you

are it's a real thing. Yeah, yeah, Oh my gosh. Okay
is this my official invite? Yeah? Okay, a June teenth pool party?
Correct? Now it will be justyou and Bill. No, it's
going to be uh me, Leslie, Leslie, I believe Tommy's going to
be there. I'm still trying toget my girlfriend to take the day off,

but she'sed to work. Because hercompany is racist. They just I'm
kidding, And I know people anbe like no or not. We're not
no. Not if we get thatday off and then I think pants and
a few other people come over.Are you going to invite just for all

times sake? If he has theday off, I would. I would
invite him. He should take itoff even if he doesn't. What about
Alan, Alan, You're invited ifyou want to come swim. I have
to host the Funny Bus that night. Well, AT's sturn of the day,
so he'll be fine. I'm sureI'll have other things to do.
He does not want to go.He does not want to come. Do
you guys hang out outside of work? So you really don't like each other?

No, No, we do likewe like each other. People hang
out at work and uncomfortable. Igo to work and go home. We
have I have a second grader,you know what I mean? We have
hung out outside of Yeah, butit's not like wondering at the stupend twenty
hours a week together. Yeah,so it's like it's not a big deal.
We all genuinely like each other.Yeah, it's just that we're working,

you know what I mean, busyYeah, yeah, because there will
be like Alan will have like hiswife and daughter will be out of time
and be like, oh, what'sgoing on this weekend? And then he'll
come hang out sometimes on those weekends. Yeah, But for the most part
we have our own thing going on, and most of the time I'm not
really hanging out. I'm out doingshows, right, And the last thing
we want to do is like gowatch each other work. Like every once

in a while, I'll pop in. If he's doing appearances and it's near
me, I might try and popin, But like, yes, it's
a lot, and you spend alot of hours together a week. Yeah,
I mean it's you know, whateverthere are he's never even seen,
So why would I want to hangout? I like, he doesn't know
what his birthday is. What kindof person I know when my birthday is.

I'm just I'm not gonna say whatit is. I saw the Paleotone
movie. You guys have probably neverseen the Paleotone called Dreams. Those who
used to tell I wasn't the summerI used to was the We Kill a
Fell Asleep past. It's all Icould ever eat. Framing pictures on my

table now I'm able to Jim Partysure to have my own label. Who's
the piece? He's piggy. I'mtied those who told me what is real
rap? As a kid, I'lldream bomb myke and now I know what
it is like singing baby. Notfamiliar with my singing baby. That's why,
man, I thought you liked rap. Now, what's the matter with

you? This is the most prominentPolish rapper on the planet. I know
all the big rappers. I justthought, you know mag Yeah, so
I saw the Peltone movie. Isaw the Bitcoin movie. Are you into
bitcoin at all? Not the fakecurrency? I mean the elderly rapper.

Nope, you haven't seen his movie. I have not. You know,
I've been with a lot of bitches, oh and out all of them.
Like he's like seventy five years old. He's probably dead in this one.
When this came out, I'll giveone hell of a job. So been
on my but not a single one. Don't stick the way that you do

that you do best bitch post feelright or only one tonight. But you're
is just so damn tight. That'swhy you're the best bit That's why you're
the best bitch. You're the bestway to spend my bread. Really good
at given thank you back to myparents if they weren't already dead. I'll
show you life's finest places an amenities. That's what you get with the g

in his seventies. I know youlike a man who knows exactly what to
do. You know it's true.I've been doing girl. This is forty
two. I went in the Naziswere invading Britain. I was making vicious
her like a mother. I wentoff strong, landed on the movie kind
of great. It's great alley everyday crushing food. When they took down
the wall in eighty nine, Iwas in my pride panties call all the

time. After Civil Rights movement,everyone was free, and I gave it.
Every girl the right to my dI've been getting raped, the right
to sign my document. AnyWho?What about flop on my No? I
mean that was that song was tenyears ago. He'd be eighty seven now,
going out out of Philly. Idon't know if he's still around.

I mean, that's the kind oflife that will keep you living large for
a long time. You know whatI'm saying, Like he will. The
story of Bitcoin, The eighty fouryear old rappers. That was four years
ago. They did a thing onYouTube about him. They did like a
forty five minute ninety now uh yeah, pushing ninety yep, still kicking it,

still rapping. Yep. There arethese two god what are their names?
Because the British guys. Oh,those guys are great, They're really
good. Yeap. Yes, thesetwo like legit old guys that are like
grime rappers or something in the UK. And yeah, it's pretty intense.
But bit bitcoin, well I don'thave I mean a bitcoin, I have

edited. I don't know the oldBritish rappers Charles No not rapers, Pete
and Baz yes Estion, but Idon't think that it's uh, I don't
think that. Yep. But they'vedone like all kinds of like UK Channel
four documentaries on them and stuff.But that is the kind of rap that

I like. I do like likethat British grime rap, which is the
very specific kind of thing. AndI don't know why I like it,
but I like those artists. It'sjust it's it's it's more interesting to my
ear than a lot of stuff overhere. But AnyWho, what time is

it? Oh, that's not tilllater. But you want to start the
weekend already. No, you're readyfor the cheer. You are, Huh,
you're ready for the cheer. Yeah, for the cheer. Let's see
here, are you about to playsome music? Whatnot? I ad epiphany.
My brother and I were talking aboutthis. So I'm a millennial and

I'm a young millennial, and Ialways think millennials are lazy. But part
of the millennials were born or raisedby gen xers, and part of them
were raised by well that's the sameguy. Boy. He really wanted to
make sure that I heard what hehad to say, or maybe he just
h but I think it does reallyplay into who your parents are, Like,

I was raised by boomers, Youwere raised by boomers. Like,
I think that's more or the generationalthing than you know, if you're raised
by gen X or Yeah. Imean, my parents were super straight.
My dad was military, My momwas you know, super you know,

growing up in the Midwest in whatever, and met my dad and they got
married, the whole thing, andthat's totally fine. They had it.
We grew up Catholic. They hada very specific way of raising us,
especially me. It was a veryspare the rod, spoil the child kind
of corporal punishment type situation. Somy takeaway from all that when I became

a parent was, well, Iknow one thing I'm not gonna do.
I'm not going to spank my kids. And my mom early on was like,
well, good luck with that whenthey're walking all over you and you
don't know what to do because youdon't know how to discipline them, because
that's how that generation thought. AndI was like, well, let's take
our chances. It doesn't mean that, And that was my point. That's

not synonymous with discipline. That's notthe only kind there is, right,
And so I didn't spank any ofmy kids. How did you discipline them?
Well, in fairness, my mymy wife and I got divorced when
our kids were so they didn't well. But I was around him a lot.

I was there every other weekend,going back and forth to Michigan wherever
I was living, Pittsburgh or Chicagoor or whatever, making that trip a
lot. So I saw them allthe time, and yeah, I would
have to discipline them. But partof its luck. Some people just have
kids that they have no idea howto control, right, And that's not
always their fault. Some kids,you know that well, not even bad,

it's just some kids, man,are a real handful. And so
we got pretty lucky with our kids, and Gwen and I are really lucky
with our you know. But againI would have figured it out, my
ex wife figured it out. Wedid not spank our kids. But that's
how I grew up getting spanked allthe time, getting oh yeah, pants

down, paddle on me, askall the time because that's all my parents
knew. I mean, my mom, my dad was at work. My
mom would do it, but itwas like that's all they knew, right,
spank, And I was like,I'm not doing that. I'm not
doing it. I've got people alwayssay that you take some things from your
parents that I love that they raisedme this way. So I'm going to
take that with me when I'm aparent. I've taken from how my parents

did things, you know, becausebut they were conservative. But my dad
was from the Deep South. ButI never heard anything untoward about I never
heard anything racial. I never heardanything, you know. But so part
of that, yeah, but again, I know, my my parents are
very my dad's passed, but mymom kind of absorbed what my dad thought,

you know what I mean, Andso it's you know, she's very
conservative, but you know, whichis also very sweet. So it's kind
of hard to you can't really nailpeople down, you can't pin him down.
But but I absolutely knew there werea few things I was not going
to do the same, yeah,and that was one of them. I
remember one time my son was hewas like five maybe right, and he

was playing with this toy, thistoy sword or something, and I was
like, not in the mood,and he was swinging it whatever and he
hit me. He didn't mean to, he swung and it hit me or
something like that, and I remembergrabbing it and breaking it over my knee
and the look on his face isburned on my brain to this day,

right because it's not like I wasgoing to hit him, but he had
this look on his face like maybehe thought I was. And I was
like, oh god, it wasjust terrible, just terrible. So it's
like when I yeah, but likewhen when I'm in public and I see
people like smack their kids' nfort ohman, And I'm not obviously I would
never say anything. Some people do, boy, Some people say stuff that's

not my place. But holy cow, I just can't even fathom that,
you know, even though it's waymore out of favor now than it used
to be used to be. Likewhen I was growing up, my friend's
parents could smack you. It waslike when he started it takes a village
thing. Yeah, he had apaddle in his classroom. Yeah, kat's
racking bad. It was just thenature of yeah, that generation. Yeah,

now it's gone so far the otherway where teachers can't do anything right
now. Yeah, they're like kidsalways with respect. They must feel like
glorified babysitters. Call the Alan CoxShow. Pay attention to notice the reverse
of everything that is normal becoming abnormal. You was six five seven eight one
double oh seven or one three foureight one double O seven. Stop,

don't stop. It's always crazy tome. Adam has been dead over ten

years now. I always think it'smore recent than that, But as of
a couple of weeks ago, beginningof May, he'd been dead for twelve
years. BC Boys are going todrop a thirtieth anniversary Ill Communication reissue,
Sure Shots, the track that leadsthe whole thing off. It's gonna have
twelve extra songs. It's gonna haveremixes and B sides and rarities and all

kinds of stuff. There has beena through line in today's show, and
not necessarily planned, but well theBeast Boys I had planned and the M
and M I had planned too shortin planned to help to facilitate What are
your thoughts in the BCT Boys?Did they ever scratch you? They were

more of like a dude band,I think for people that were Yeah,
but also it's probably, it's probably. It's certainly not the way they wanted
to get there with Adam Yauk dying, but the fact that they're not currently
active is probably good news for thembecause even towards the tail end of their
tenure as a band, people wereloving digging up all the old Beast Boys

stuff and throwing it in their facesbecause it was very like misogynistic and all
that. It was like late eighties, right, and they were kids,
yes, and became obviously different guys. And you know, I don't know
when people stopped letting artists grow andevolve, right, I know that's part

of the whole like kind of grievancemachine is not letting you know, you
keep people in amber, right,like whatever they did that, you don't
like they've never gone beyond that.Well, I think that was Eminem's all
point of Houdini, Like there's somany albums that he came out with people
it's awful, take us back tothe old m So that's why I like
this song, but that he neversaid the N word in anything. Yeah,

I mean it certainly seems like otherstuff, But it certainly seems like
that's a guy who could have donethat, even though he's a white dude,
Like he would have gotten that,you know, impromoter from like his
peers or what. I don't know. Again, I don't know his his
catalog, chapter and verse, andbut I know a lot of it and
I never heard any of that.But Bill Squire Friday get Down, that's

a little over an hour away.Bridget Linton is soldiering on. She's She's
from one to ten. Your hangoveris where it's getting worse Thursday, It's
getting worse. That's what it's weird. Like honestly, yesterday when I was
singing my heart out at Cocky's forkaraoke. Yeah, I'll never had a
hangover like that when I was twentysix. Yeah, it's weird. I

usually don't either. Do they callit Kakyok? They should? I mean
it's right there, I'm gonna pitchthat. Yeah, but I kept saying,
I'm like yeah, and really Idon't have a lot going on Tomorrow.
I have like one call in themorning and then I just I'm gonna
be on the radio show it too. And I felt great all day today,
all this, and then like threeo'clock it really smacked me in the
face. You know what it is? What it's the talking. It's the

incessant yammering that we have to dohere. Yeah. Maybe you're not hungover,
maybe you're just hanging out with Allanand I yeah, that's what's doing
it. Under normal circumstances, Iwould take responsibility for ruining someone's day,
but not after a night of drunkenkaraoke. Yeah. And I'm this is
the best part of my day.I'm enjoying it. I just have to

take the little naps. Yeah,which, Bill, I saw a notification.
Did you take a picture of mesleeping? You look? Oh,
come on that it's not a it'snot a picture, it's a video.
Oh, just the nice little zoomin. I want, I demand answers
from Cocky's Bagels. I'm not avery attractive sleeper, I say, I

look mad. You just look likeyou're resting your eyes. So what you're
saying is that when someone's sleeping nextto you, they've never told you that,
they've never stared at you. Said, Yeah, you're an ugly sleeper
or a mean sleeper, but amean sleep. I look mean in that
vote in that video. I didn'tsee it. You guys, You guys

would like to check it out.No, you're just sitting there with your
eyes closed. Yeah, I meanit's I am truly resting my eyes,
resting your eyes. All right,I'm here. No one would know I
didn't say it, right, trueand nice that he got your consent,
that's not that's the most import inpart. Hey, that's the most.

You're in the studio. You're here, free game. Yeah all right.
Oh, by the way, butfor I mentioned that thirtieth anniversary of ill
Communication, they've already dropped some ofthose b sides and those rarities, and
they sound awesome. I mean,they go way back, but they sound
really daming. I ran to theSuper Mugget later last than a weekend.

I hit the record button, notmuch recorder, not just this Burton at
the words in my saying. Soagain, really good artists when they evolve.
Yeah, it's a beautiful thing.He's right up there with me singing
cher Now. On the first dayI ever listened to your show was when

Bill was puking drunk with a hangover. I've been listening ever since. You're
welcome. Yeah, that's why Igot ye Bill kuking into the big Canliner.
Oh what a day. That greatconcert. It was a great time.
After the show, that was,I was at in a suite for
the Tool show. Unlimited alcohol,yeah, unliterally drinking. I drank.

So I started drinking tequila before theshow. I did some shots and then
I just like paced myself with beer. So like after the show, I
was just okay, that's fine.But then we went to a third location.
So I started at the Foundation Room, drank some there, then went

to the show. Drank quite afew beers during the show, but nothing
crazy. But then we went toEast End afterwards in Lakewood, and I
was hanging out with my friend Ashleyand she was the one and that got
us into the suite. We justyou know, one we closed the bar
down that night, and yeah,a lot of shots after. I think

that's what it is. I needto just not do shots. You just
got to do less shots. WellI didn't last night. I think I
only did one was the shot ofOkay. I think that's where I went
wrong because I was doing vodka Martini's, only a two of those, and
then switched to the high noons andthen tequila. But yours. Again,

that's a lot of mixing, butalso vodka Martini's. That's a that's a
strong drink right there. That's likebut it was dirty and spicy, and
you thought that was gonna let youoff. I thought that, honestly,
the blue chee stuff that all ofthose were gonna say they did not the
boy nobody's ever uttered that line before. You know, I was drinking all

night and I thought the blue cheeseolives were gonna save me. Yeah,
those two martinis are gonna sneak upon you. And then you had another
shot on top of that, andthen you're pacing it with some high noons.
Yeah, that's it. That's that'squite a bit. I acted like
I was forever twenty one. Mmhmmm. I drink so infrequently now that
it doesn't take much. I'm acheap date. Because it's like my second

grader, her last day of schoolwas yesterday, and a couple streets over
from us, the people who liveon that street every year do this big
end of school thing where the kidsare. There's an ice cream truck and
the kids are running around and everybody'sspraying shaving cream and you know. So
I go to meet my wife andmy child when I leave here, and

it's the thing's been going on,right, and the adults are standing around
drinking. Yeah, it's on theirlawns or whatever, and so I kind
of mosey up and I don't knowa lot of people, but they know
me, and so I'm introducing myselfand whatever, and you know, and
my wife's got a backpack there andit's got high noons and white closet and
so I grab one and I'm drinkingone, and I guess pretty and I'm
having conversations with people. We're justtalking about whatever. And then I have

a second one and we're walking homeand I'm like, wow, you felt
tipsy, yeah too, I know, yes, that is because I bridget
to do the hair of the dog. Oh and feel I feel like that'll
put her right back where she needsto be. Nope, but just the
idea of it makes Harry a littleyeah. Little, well, I think

that giant can is intimidating too.Yes, yeah, I don't know where
it went, but I put itback in the fridge. Yeah. Oh
you also, those have been sittingfor like two years. I knew if
she tried to drink I say,no, I actually don't drink that.
Remember those aren't that old. Idon't Those were from like a party that
just happened. No, those,but the bat ices, yeah, are
from a while. Oh they arereally Yeah. Remember that one time,

you guys let me drink one ofthe iced dunkin Donuts coffees and I'm like,
this tastes kind of funny and expiredin like twenty twenty one. I'm
like, thanks, guys, Yeah, I didn't know about that. Twenty
twenty one was in that little fridgeup over there. I'm like, oh,
he's a little pick me up.Oh the little Yeah. I was
like, oh, this kind oftastes weird. Now it's like, well,
check the expiration date, like,yep, two years ago. Oh

boy, Well, what happens tothe best of them. Yeah, never
go with a hippie to a secondlocation, right, did Jack Donneghie teach
us nothing? Right? Hey,here's another kind of shot, you guys.
Hear about the sling shot shooter thisold guy. Okay, So there's
this guy who's eighty one years old, and they had been trying to figure

out for a long time, thisquiet neighborhood in LA that had been getting
terrorized for years because somebody was constantlyfiring off a sling shot like a wrist
rocket. When I was a kid, this is what every single kid I
knew had one. You had thesewrist rockets, right, they were made

of metal, They had padding foryour forearm. You just got these giant
pulls on these rubber things. Andthey didn't know what the hell was going
on in this neighborhood. People hadcomplained for the better part of a decade
that there were ball bearings in theneighborhood. They would have dents in their

cars, their windows would be cracked, there'd be pock marks in their property,
tiny metal ball bearings. And obviouslyeverybody thinks it's like a kid or
something. And it was this oldguy, who I guess was just sitting
in his yard, you know,eighty one year old guy. And they
finally figured out what was going on, a guy named Raymond King, and

they arrested him and they search hishouse. They find a slingshot, they
find tons of ball bearings, andthey're like, this guy didn't really have
any motive. He would just Theyjust ascertain that he was just sitting in
his yard and just firing ball bearingsinto the air. And obviously nobody knew

where they were coming from. Sothey scooped this guy up and while he's
they process him or whatever, andwhile he's awaiting the litigation that's going to
come from this, he's at homeand he is dead. No, they
went to go check on him athis house eighty one because this is La.

This guy had a tiny bungalow thatthey said was worth six hundred and
forty thousand dollars. Yeah, andthey found him dead in his home yesterday.
Did he just die in his sleepor was it they don't know.
I'm thinking that this shot suicide.This was what kept him going. He
loved heart. He did have abroken heart. This was obviously he wasn't

you know. Once it's in theair, he didn't know what's happening.
He doesn't know where it lands.Yeah, so uh, they went to
his house to check on him.They said there were no signs of trauma
or foul play and he died fromnatural causes. He is dead, eighty
one years old. The serial slingshot shooter. Uh, he's gone and

has opened up some prime real estatein a very quiet and leafy neighborhood there
in la At least he went outon a high note. People are talking
about him. Yeah, are inCleveland, Ohio. So all the people
in this neighborhood were finally so happythat they figured out what happened and scooped
this guy up. Because people werelike, we know who this guy is.

We've never once seen him with aslingshot. We don't know, he
never shot anything at us. Andpeople are like, we would just find
bebes on the ground. We didn'tknow, but and they was this guy
and he is now deceased. Allright, you were a real one.
Yeah, yeah, out there withthe bebes. The cereal slingshot shooter.

His dirty hobby cost us seven hundreddollars. At one of his neighbors.
They broke the back window of myhusband's car, and people would find marks
on their property in their vehicles.I wonder how they finally cracked the case
and figured it out. I don'tknow, because no one would suspect an
eighty or one year old man.No. He was due back in court

on June seventeenth. He was releasedon his own cognizance. But he was
barred from This is what I dontunderstand. He was barred from going within
two hundred yards of his own homeexcept to pick up medications. But they
found him in his house dead.So this guy man, he was an

outlaw to the end. You can'tgo in your own house. Hey,
but that's where all bow bearings are. I love your old man, Hey,
so good day, may sing ohmy bad bearings. I learned that
voice from my dad. He stillspeaks to me occasionally. Oh, this

is your father speaking from new lecture. How's your mom's new boyfriend? Out
up? Bill subject? She doesn'thave a new boyfriend. Are they keeping
a casual? Shut up? Mymother? My mother will remain undefiled.

You don't have to call him.She has no she has no Why would
that be defiling her? She's anadult woman. Ask her? I don't
know. I'm not gonna call himdad ever ever, even if there's a
fire, that's right. No,I don't I don't know. I don't
think she's got anything to do withanybody. And that's fine, quiets keeping

it on the as the kids say, as you kids say, I don't
think so. I'm sure she's gota lot of men sliding into her d
ms. She doesn't have dms onFacebook, Facebook into the message. She
never even got around a posting aphone of herself. It's just that silhouette.

Yeah, just so she can.She just wants to post the Yeah,
that's all they post. The Trumpmean. I like the way you
vibe on the politics. Let's seewhat else is going on. I guess
so, well, if that's what'sgoing on, I have not been apprized
of that yet. Does your momtune into the show? No? No,

no, I just realized I didnot tell my parents. They're going
to be very sad to tune in. Yeah, they usually tune in.
Got nothing else to do. They'reto sit around for four and a half
hours and listen to us. Andit's the beauty of not being Most of
my career has been in places I'mnot from Yeah, so I'm not gonna
family is not going to complain aboutsomething I said. I'm not getting hit

up by people the high school with. I mean, that's what happened.
Somebody will say something to somebody thatwe're related to, like oh, they're
talking crap about you, and we'llsay some inane thing or make some stupid
joke and then they're like, oh, I heard you saying little. I
was like, no, even ifwe were, who cares well. Fortunately,
there's no room for hearsay because wehave recorded media that we're gonna play

back and go, this is whatI said. I ain't say anything.
It wasn't true, right I did? I got Last time I was on
the show, I got a textfrom one of my good friends from high
school and it was a screenshot ofher husband texting her. He's like,
okay, I have a very random, inappropriate story Sash question for you.
Are you ready? And she waslike, okay, yeah, I give
it to me. He's like,So. Bridget was on the show that
I listened to every day, andshe was talking about someone from our high

school that claimed they are a virginbut still did an anal. Do you
know who that she's talking about,and so I let my friend know.
I said, sure do. Ifigured i'd hit her up so you never
know who's listening. I forgot.I'm gonna I'm gonna go the Alan Birthday
route and I will never slip up. Taught you well, Yes, hey

Mary, Yeah, hello, MarySantorum. Hello, I'm Mary Santorum.
This is Bridges. First time,I think, yeah, I don't know
who this is. Well, Ijust wanted to call and introduce myself and

say hello to the beautiful miss BridgetLinton. Hello Bridge, Oh hello,
what is your real name? Thisis Mary Santorum. When Mary Santora's gone,
Mary Santorum got it, goes outand tours. She's also a comedian.
Great, so lovely to meet you, Bridget. Bridget. I wanted

to tell you that I also loveIrish dance. My grandfather Fiona taught me.
She was a wonderful dancer. Ohwow, can you do a little
Irish jig? Well? I can, Kaylee r hornpipe? If you really
want to know, we will haveto link up at the Hibernian clubs.

Yeah, Mary sand of course anda great Irish name. Who could Who
could miss that part Bridget Bridget didBill Did Bill ever tell you what his
favorite dance move was the waffle stomp? No? He did not. Maybe
he can explain it to you.Well, uh, waffle stomp is thanks

Mary. Uh you've ever uh maybehad like a little accident in the shower,
little poop. You are not goingto find any common ground here explaining
this and h Bridget, you juststomp it down the drain waffle. That
happens. People just like go poopin the shower, not people Bill does.

Well, I have a story abouthow I Bill, I am like
judging you right now. This isit is like the shower is one thing
pooping. What is going on thestory is that I pooped into I can't
and threw it into the toilet becauseI didn't want to stomp it down.
You've got to blame Mary Santora forSantorum for bringing this uh foul wickedness into

our lives. Oh Mary, Iknow we're not really off to a great
start if you're making built all thesestories. Oh wow, I thought we're
off to a wonderful starry Mary.That's not very lady like of you.
She's a modern woman. Yeah,Oh wow, Really Bridget, Bridget,

Bridget, one more quick question.What are your thoughts when it comes to
boggers? Are you an eater likeBill? Bill? You eat your boogers
too? Yeah, I'm cross youare sober? Um, No, I
think me and Bill are very differentwhen it comes to pooping, puking,
and boogering. Do you pick yournose though? No? I get a
tissue. That's what I'm the crazyone on this show, because that's what

I said. Mary, You areeasy for it. We just owned up
that we do it. Okay,Alan, Alan, Alan. As you
know, I do a lot ofstand up with my comedic troops, the
Bombers. Okay, Yes. Butlately I've been working on a screenplay that

I think would be perfect for MarySantora. It's called Funny in Cleveland.
Yes, get it. I gotto take off on this show Hot in
Cleveland. Well, it's it's likeHot in Cleveland, only funny. Yeah,
I get it. Yes. Iwant to thank you for taking my

call, Bridget. It was sonice talking to you. So sorry I
disgusted you with Bill's hygiene, butI can't leave your future. Well you
guys have a great week yet.Thank you. There's Mary Santorum, who's
going on the road this summer withher group, the Bombers. It's good

to be Bill Squire. It alwayssees right when he's in the spot.
Like she is a talented woman,isn't She does it all Nan thoroughly modern
Millie. You never your nose?What you never pick your nose? I'm
sure it is a kid, butlike an adult. As an adult,
you don't put a raw finger inthere. You raw finger? People going

raw raw dog. You're not.I mean, I'm like, do you
want of these? Like? Butthen again, if you feel something,
you get a tissue. You youjust blocked the thing and push it out.
Oh yeah, yeah, but yes, yes, you and me both.
Sometimes you don't got a kleenex.Sometimes you just gotta and sometimes the

kleenex gets in the way. Youneed fine motor skills. You're working with
a smaller area. Get them crustycrunchy ones. Bill, that is sick.
You actually put it in your mouth? Oh yeah, like chew it.
No, he's gonna swallow it down. Like, I just want to
know why, because you going togo into a tissue a gat Tissues aren't

around the argument, the argument ifthere can be one that's made. The
argument is, hey, it cameout of my body, why can't I
put it back into my body?It's moved less than an inch if you
really think about it, like onthe ground or something. Well, sometimes
you'll do like you know, ifyou're driving, you'll roll and flick it
out the window. Sometimes sometimes youjust and there it is and it's gone.

That is. Does your girlfriend knowyou do these things? Yeah,
she don't care. Oh, shehelps. She's sticking up your also thinks
it's disgusting, but you know,it's like your hands are for you.
She can't help it that your handsare daintier than mine. Did she get
up there and she already fell inlove, so she's got to deal with
it. It's been since October.Well, I don't know that's pretty.

I love you, I don't.You've never said I love you anybody.
I did, not one toxic relationship. But I don't think I meant it
like I was just like I'm supposedto do that said it and didn't mean
it. I was young, reallywell, I mean i'm young now,
but I'm talking like I was reallyyoung. Early twenties, yeah, earlier
twenties now I'm pushing late twenties outat the twenty sixth range. So how

many months and did you say Ilove you? And were you the first
one to say it. I wasthe first one to say it. I
said it in April. And whatwas like the moment that you were like,
oh, I love this girl.He had just finished, she had
just eaten one of my bogers,and they were like, this is the
one for me. I just dida little stomp of the poop down the
dreen. She picked your nose andyou said, I don't do the waffle

stomp. That's the other option.Oh no, he just just had a
good time together and yeah, itwas just like a nice n whip up.
Or did you like plan it?Like plan? It was like yeah.
I was like, well, wehad gone on a vacation. We
went on a trip for my birthdayand it was actually okay, so I
think it was actually in February Isaid it, And it was just like

after a week, uh, wehad gotten back and then she'd come over
and we just had a nice nightand I just was like, Hey,
this is how I feel and shesaid, yeah, me too. Wow,
that's rom com right there, suckingit dry and that too. That's

a lovely story. Yeah. No, she's she's love to get. She's
beautiful, she's great, Yeah,beautiful. I've never seen her. What
does she look like? I'll showyou. I saw the video ever singing.
I was like, oh, goodlooking lady. Oh well, I
expect nothing less from young Bill Squire. How did you meet via dating app?
Bumble? It's a dating app forpeople to run a paris. Our

live stream is now scratch and sniffand then you can scratch the screen and
then sniff your fingers. Yeah.Yeah, like Cash Show one hundred choice
seven wmmas who's helping out in thelive stream today? Who's making sure that

Bridget Litton is framed properly? Andhuh am I Pickle Slickson, Hey,
thanks so much, assistants back therein the video department from Pickle Slickson.
Guardians baseball tonight. They had atougher time in Denver than I think they
anticipated, but they're back home startingup tonight against the Nationals. Next week

they'll host the Kansas City Royals.Seven to ten tonight is your first pitch,
but six forty, shortly after weroll out, is when your pregame
coverage will begin with Hammy and Rosiein the Whole Heathall Gang and tomorrow.
If you're looking for some appropriate gear, maybe you're not co on getting a
Stephen Kwan jersey at the game tomorrow. You got to have some threads of

your own. You can get aroundthe corner here pregame to see all the
clothing company and grab something from themthey've always got. That's where you're going
to find like your official Buzzard merchWe're always dropping new things there. If
you want to make sure that yourdrip is all it can be, I

get it. I'm a young person. Yah, yeah, a young and
hip Hello, fellow kids. Usethe promo code Cardinal starting tomorrow. Today.
You can still use flour, butwhen June hits Cardinals. What you're
going to want to use it.Whenever you use it, how often you
use it is do that and you'llget twenty percent off whatever you get.
So if you shop online, yougo into one of their stores. I

just use Cardinal all through the monthof June and you'll be good to go.
If you listen to us on iHeartRadio, tell me where that happens.
I like to hear from our bureaucheese from out of state. Christine listens
in Las Vegas, Jason is onCobb Mountain out in California, Mike's and

Lavonia, Michigan, Melanie's in Smithfield, Tennessee. Gary Listens up in Vestal,
New York. And Jonathan is ourbureau chief in Clanton, Alabama.
Allen, you said that mom spaghettiis terrible, and that Bridges that he

had a sad and then you saidyou've never had the sas So what exactly
did you have of eminem spaghetti?I know, I'm very very valid point
you. All Right, Well yousaid somebody you went the jar to sauce.
Right, I've never had the jarredsauce. I've gone to the restaurant,

the little drive through thing in Detroit. Yeah, but the sauce on
the spaghetti. I can't imagine thatthey're they're using the mass produced sauce and
shipping it out in jars. Yeah, why would use anything else because that's
usually a whole different thing. There'sa factory somewhere making that stuff, and
in a restaurant they're making stuff there. Well, okay, when you said,

when you said somebody gave you thesauce. That's what I had in
my head, because you can goonline and like order the sauce. What
I had was gross and you gotjust the regular spaghetti. Yeah. Maybe
maybe I got them on a badday, because you get it like spaghetti
well itself, or with balls iswhat the menu says, you know,
or with rabbit balls because that waswhat that's vegan or something rabbit Yeah,

vegan meatbles, even though rabbits aren'tvegan. I don't know what they mean,
but true. Yeah, So maybeI got them on a bad day.
Maybe I haven't had it. Ijust had the sauce, So I
gotta get myself to Detroit. Ialso think it's really hard to ruin spaghetti
sauce, Like, yeah, spaghetti'spretty I like it. I haven't had

it in a long time, butI know that I like it. For
those of you keeping score at homeon the things that I do and don't
like, Bill doesn't always eat hisboogers. Sometimes his dog does. Somebody
texts is that true? Yeah?Mentioned that? Okay, does anyone there
eat their own scabs? What iswrong with these people? Well, I

don't remember the last time I gothurt to the extent where I developed a
scab. I can on equivocally tellyou no, But I can't remember the
last time I had a scab.I actually feel it ill, you know,
not because of the hangover. Iwas gonna say, this is not
the best hangover conversation, is whatyou're saying. I don't eat scabs,
not my scas, not your scapscas. Now, well that what would be

the difference. But I mean,if that's the conversation you're having, listen,
I'm not here to judge people likebridget Is. I am definitely judging
you. And whoever eats their scabs, well you also need judge Mary Santora
too, not santaurum. Mary Santoraalso eats her bookers. Oh Mary,
Yeah, so it just doesn't falldown gender lines either. But who could

bond over that? It's good tobe bisquire. It's always sees that he's
in the spot, likes allan.Let Bill know there was a study.
Oh, I'm sure he knows.This is what people who do this to
because of the bacteria in boogers.It, Oh, this has increases your

risk of developing Alzheimer's. I hearddecreasing like that. I've seen studies where
they go it's actually for people whodo it, it might you know,
which means I don't think it hasanything to do with Alzheimer's at all.
Well. Also, how again,I'm not a doctor. Lets can't witch
doctor. I uh don't know howsomething in your nose because of the bacteria

would increase your risk of alzheim Imean, you got bigger problems and boogers,
if you know. And like,who thought of this study? Like,
huh, everyone that gets Alzheimer's,let's see if they eat their boogers
or they don't. Like who thoughtof that study to figure it out?
Well? And there have been somany Alzheimer's and there continue to be so
many Alzheimer's studies that all focus onlike one variable that you can't come to

any broad conclusion. You know whatI mean, That's what I'm saying.
Just eat your boogers, fart yourfartsart, eat bugs, eat your bugsfull
you stop. Do you fart infront of your girlfriend? I mean yeah,
does she fart in front of you? No? It feels like an
asymmetrical situation. Listen, I don'tcare if she does. Though I don't

I'm not one of a lot offart or poopyar It's a funny thing.
I try not to like. Idon't like intentionally far around, especially Sharon.
There's farts in the morning, anddo you do the whole like,
Oh, sorry, do you wantme to get a stomach ache or do
you want me to let it out? No, because she's stuck under the
covers, touch oving in her Ohmy god, honey, why do you

sound so muffled. Please let meout. Yeah, that's what she cats.
Think you found your match. Yeah, that's what she gets like.
It's a punishment. It almost seemslike he's looking at it as a reward.
Honey, you gotta take me asI am. See, I'm not
that guy. I was always listenAgain, I grew up in a Catholic

family. We didn't really talk abouta lot of things, and we certainly
weren't a farty family. So Ididn't grow up like that. So I
grew up farts was like the stuffthat we could talk about that we could
get away with where we could youknow, we couldn't talk about sex or
anything like that. Mormon house wewere making those kinds of jokes, But

we can make fart jokes. Andso we and they are funny. Here
you are still doing it. Yeah, they're funny. Well, the trick
is monetizing, which, against allodds, we've managed to do. Explain,
Yeah, how did you make moneyup? Parts? I've made a
career. What are you talking like? We're literally talking about farts to be
here? I get it. Well. One of my mom's favorite stories to

tell is we were on our wayback from a trip. I think we're
going to New York and we're onour way back from New York State and
I yelled to my dad. Iwas like, hey, we got to
pull over. I'm going to chunkin my pants. For whatever reason,
that is quite a description. Yeah, and so probably ten or old enough

to know, Yeah, okay,I'm gonna chunk in my or was that
the vernacular in your house? That'swhat That's just what I said at that
time. For whatever reason, wego through phases of different slang we'd make
up for taking a dump, andat that time, chunk was happening,
and so I got chunk in mypants. And so he pulls over and
then we go into the McDonald's andhe's like, all right, well,

since we're here, i'll get dinnerfor us or lunch or whatever we were,
and I go to the bathroom andI take a dump, but I'm
also moaning really loud, and I'mjust going, oh, like groaning and
moaning, and like you hear throughthe whole restaurant, there is something wrong
with you. And I'm doing thaton purpose. I'm trying to be funny.

And so like my dad is likecompletely embarrassed while he's trying to order
the food. My mom is justmortified. H And did you get in
trouble? No, what are theygonna do? I was like I had
to go. I had to chunk, and it was coming out crazy.
Sorry, that's just expressing my Ididn't know it was gonna be so loud.
I know what you're saying is thesame person your whole life, which

I appreciate the authenticity. And sothen the next like week, my parents
were out on a date and mymom looks at my dad and goes,
Jim, you gotta find a placeto stop or else I'm gonna chunk in
my pants. I love the yourmom brought it back, But yeah,

the the groaning in the McDonald's whileI was taking a dumb with Yeah,
we didn't talk about all that kindof stuff in my house. It wasn't
because I guess it couldn't be.It just wasn't. That wasn't the vibe
of our family. Well, it'snot like everybody else's tongue. It was
just like I that was me.Yeah, and I was you're eating your

boogers chunking. I was drunking inthe toilet. I just wouldn't. I
didn't want it to be in mypants. So I had to make an
announcement. Dad, I wanted toknow it serious in your hand came later
in life. Yeah, yeah,a little bit. If you chunking and
chunking to the right, what areyou gonna do? Yeah, the way,

we can't change the past. It'shappened. It's not gonna be ashamed
of it. I can act likeI'm didn't do these things. I went
the other way, like growing upwith my mom kind of concerned with appearances
and things. Yeah, manners wereso drilled into us. So like even
as a grown person, like,well you no fart. I'm not a

farty guy anyway, But it's likeI would never have to yes, I
would, well, no, Imean I would find another room. But
it's like, I would never likecut one in front of my wife,
not that she would care at all, but it's I'm just not that guy.
I'm not and I'm not doing thatin front of my Like, I'm
not intentionally farting in front of no, but you wouldn't go into another room
to let it go. Most ofthe time, I do, Oh you

do. I'm talking like that whenpeople are like, oh you never like
I've farted in front of her,because sometimes one gets out in the morning
is usually what will happen and you'restill slay. Yeah, So like that's
when I like the most likely timeit is to happened. I'm not just
like rip an acid front being likefive Babe, you've heard that one that

was a good one. You've heardBill's stairwell fart. Yeah, we've indoctrinated
you or inducted you into that.This is in the building I live in,
in the stairwell of his building.We're trying to get a really good
one. We've been trying to updateit, but it's not. This one's
years ago. You're like rehearsing,Well, he's he's tried to top this

one. We're just not there yet. This one's just real good. Oh
my god, I echoed. Yeah, well yeah, Florida, you knew
it was coming, and you're like, hold on, let me get out
my phone and record this. Yeah, because it's like party in the morning.
That's a professional courtesy that he didthat for us. I mean he's
thinking of the show you are,ye, you knew that there's gonna be

plenty of segments about farts that you'relike, let me get one, a
real one. I know my strengthsand my weaknesses. That is, but
it also impressive. It's a funplace to fart because of the echoes,
So like whether you're bigger, fartinglike a stairwell is a good place to
do it, great content. Yeahare you you're not super farty? Huh?

I don't think so. No.I don't like to hear them from
other people or smell them, butfrom other people either not from other people
but your own. Like I getyou don't never like cut a fart in
your bed and be like that washilarious. No, it doesn't like make
it like. It doesn't make melike a loud one. No, it
doesn't make me. People do itlike if like my dad does it or

something. I'm like, Dad,you're disgusting. Why did you just do
that? It's so loud of eberand talk about you still makes That's how
much I don't like them, likethey make me mad, they make you
mad, like definitely other people's.I don't think the bone like make me
mad, Like, oh that wascool. I think it's not. It's
cool, but it's like funny.No, you never, like at a
fart and it like made like aweird like bubble or something. You're like,

it's funny, it's funny. It'sfunny to guys like, and young
girls fart and like roll young girls. Yeah, like and instead of rolling
up your bad I get rolled ofthe front. And then that's set.
I don't want to be. Mydaughter is eight and she likes she's a
big time farther. And when myolder daughter was seven and eight, big

time farther. Interesting and yeah,so funny and so well because we're they're
not shamed either, right, butguys. And it's not universal, but
I feel like it leans toward guysobviously because we're just kind of naturally.
Maybe more gross is that it's justnever again. I'm very ambivalent because on
the one hand, like I wouldn'tdo it in a room with somebody,

but they are hilarious, hilarious.I'll never hear someone do it and not
chuckle, I mean belly. Sometimesit's just like whatever, but like sometimes
it's just funny, like especially likea farm, we have audience members submitting
theirs to you really have made acareer out of farts. The best fart
I've ever done. Yeah, thatis wow. You're laughing though, Okay,

I just want to know, like, how do you know that's what
it's going to sound like? Unlessthey're every single fart like, that's a
good one. You've never seen Guessthe fart. No where it's like that's
funny. Yeah, where it's likesomeone will be like, oh, I
got a fart, Guess the fart, and they'll be like, and then
like the fart and it sounds Sometimesit'll be right, sometimes it'll be wrong.
But oh, they were sitting downand you're guessing the sound, make

the noise that you think, ohit sound like, and some people will
go yeah, and then sometimes they'llmatch it. It's very funny and that's
the finished product. Oh again.You know I always learned something on the
show. I've learned a lot aboutBill on this show. I don't know
if I wanted to learn all this. Part of all time, though,
was we went to the movies andtwo of my kids went to a scary

movie, and then me and myson we went and saw I think it
was a Man. So we wentinto this movie and our movie finished before
the scary movie, so I thinkit was like Annabelle. Yeah, And
as they're like panning at the veryend of the movie, they're going through
like this room and showing all theselike haunted, creepy things and it's real

tense, and I walk in thereto check to see like how much is
left, and I was like,oh my god, I got one,
and so right before it's like likeI've never seen the movie, but I
just like, you know, youcan kind of tell. So it's super
quiet the movie, and so Ijust go in there, and as they're

like cutting to the part where likethe doll moves one last time, I
let one go and it like thewhole theater hears it, and they start
dying laughing, and my daughter andI run out and my daughters come out
and they're like so much just atthe end of the movie and I was
like yeah, and they're like,good was you. I'm like, yeah,

that was me, and they're likethat was the funniest thing, And
so making my kids that was theproudest they'd ever been. It was.
Yeah, it was incredible. Itwas just a perfectly time far That's a
nice fun fact. Yeah. Thatbrought a lot of people, a lot
of joy. Nothing if not acrowd pleaser. Yeah, somebody by then

the women that now this is goodold school hip hop. All right,
I'm gonna end those one nice feet. Yeah, good lad dude, hat
come boom natty fuck up? Nhe did, can't bought it? The
dam fucky you the bat bag,don't body one all different body my girl

name catchy be naptewuckle called the AlanCox showdiot stupid two one six seven eight
one double o seven or one eighthundred three four eight one double o seven.

Oh there you go. You gotthe Bill Squire Friday get down mere
minutes away from you and us.That's how we officially begin the weekend.
Around these parts. Bridget Linton ishere and she's hanging on for dear life.
She's a trooper. I'm here gotplenty of naps in for Mary today,

Bridget underscore here, what's that theold version of Mary that was hungovers
here today? A little throwback ifyou will, Bridget. Among other things,
she's got a very full dance card. She's going to be part of
the second annual Crush Them for Cancer. Sure I Am benefit that's coming up
at Market Garden in Ohio City,Yep, June twelfth, Wednesday, June

Wealth to benefit the Leukemia and LimphomaSociety, an organization that is near and
dear to my heart, putting tendingskills to test right. Among other local
luminaries, Mike Polk, Timothy Disney, our buddy Stephan Johnson is going to
be part of this. The LovelyMaureen Kyle from Channel three, Ricky Smith,

Bridget Linton, I think I mentionedher. That's me, Oh,
that's you. Oh you're the personI mentioned. My buddy is an artist
and he made Kim Disney shirts.But they're they look like like his skull.
But it's the Misfits logo. Really. I love it. Yeah,
I'm excited for that event. It'llbe fun. I love doing Jeredy events.

Yeah, it's a weird one.If I try and help cancer,
but like whatever, judge people,Yeah, crush them for cancer. That's
kind of weird, kind of weird. Yeah, well, like, why
can you explain that. I it'snot my event and I'm putting on so
I don't know the background of whyit's called that. I just got a

message and said we love for youto be a part of it. He
said, sign me up. Yeah, this says it's raising money for cancer
research. That's pretty ambiguous. Don'tknow if they're raising it to research how
to improve cancer or Yeah. Idon't know. Boy, I you know
what, I'll take them. I'llgive them the benefit of the doubt.

How about Yeah, I think that'ssmart. Okay, well, look at
me. I have an appearance comingup too, forgot Hey, I'm gonna
be on the Portage Lakes area allover the place next weekend. Bill is
in Ohio City tonight tomorrow, sorrytomorrow night marrow at Imposters Theater, bill
Square dot com and then Madison,Ohio next Saturday and next Friday night.

You're doing this around the corner,Yeah, yeah, the next This weekend
might be a if you can makeyour way around, you can poke your
head on that and kind of bea consultant. When I'm going to be
out, I'm kind of in thearea where you grew up. You could
poke your head in there. It'sgoing to be pretty exciting. I really

am going to try to make alittle boat day happen. I would like
to play some small part in helpingyour next hangover. Yes, yeah,
I think that'll be wonderful. Whynot do that? You'll have to let
me know the times that you wereat these places. I will tell you.
I mean, I'll be talking aboutit all next week, but next
Saturday I will be at I'm tryingto get people sent to Hawaii. We're

doing this with ConA Brewings, soI qualify. I'll be qualifying people for
people are like I can't get myass out of the Porge Lakes. All
next week on the show, I'llbe qualifying people. But I will be
out just about every weekend in June. So next weekend, I'm doing two
appearances that Saturday hour apiece. What'sthe date on that the eighth, okay,
and the following week the fifteenth,And then are you doing any of

the week after that? The weekendafter that, Yeah, like on Saturday
twenty second I'll be out of townthat weekend. What about the twenty twenty
ninth or the finals? No,No, the day after the twenty second,
I'll be out of town that wholeweekend. What's June twenty third,
I'm out of town that weekend.Oh my gosh, what is it?
Oh my god, weekend that I'mout of town. So next Saturday,

Next Saturday, the eighth, I'mat the ramp Okay, what time?
Three to four? Okay, givemyself a little buffer there, and then
four thirty to five thirty I'm atthe Sandbar okay, okay. And then
that next day, Sunday, theninth, I'm at Dano's Lakeside Pub from
two to four. Got it soout in your neck where you grew up.

And then the fifteenth, I'll beat a place called Picks. Oh
yeah, okay, it's another Portagelakes spot. Sixteenth is Father's Day,
so nothing there. The finals areat the twenty ninth at the Upper Deck
Bar and Grill. Wow, you'rereally hitting up all of the spots.
I am told that has nothing todo with taking a dump in the toilet
tank, So don't mistake that.Given the lines of questioning, here today

on the show. Well, Shirley, I can make one of those work
I have to don't come show.Uh hey, guys, this is Aaron
here from Nashville, Tennessee. Wouldlove to be a bureau chief. Here
Risen from Akron and I believe Iam number four ninety six on the Blacklist.
Uh. AnyWho. I don't havea week's stomach and I'm not hungover.

But you guys talking about eating boggersand scabs is literally about to have
me vomit. I would write hereright now, so if we could just
give it a risk, I'd greatlyappreciate it. Bye. I love you,
I love your Oh, thank youthere in Nashville, Tennessee. Whenever
someone does that, though, Alan'slike, well, I just want to
talk about it more. We'll tryto tell us what to do. Well,

it's when they if it's a subjectthat I'm invested in and somebody tells
me, hey, move on,boy, that gets my hackles up.
Yeah. But if it's something thatI you know, I'm fine moving on
from that, you know, becauseI don't do those things right. I
don't have a vested interest. Soit's mainly a bill. Hey, I
didn't bring it up either. Hedidn't bring it up. Larry Santorum brought

it up. But I'm not gonnalike shy away from an act like I
don't do these things, haven't.Are you a pantry Allen? He hasn't
seen eight Mile, so must mustbe. I'll eat a Polish boy and
watch eight Mile this weekend and thenget mister Hero for breakfast and mister Great
Friday. Thank you, ma'am,mister Hero for breakfast. I don't even

think they have breakfast hours over now. Roman Burger doesn't seem like the move
for breakfast any time, is thattrue? I love them Roman Burger.
It's just a long hamburger. Pardonme, there's salami, there's cured meats
on it. Okay, cured meat, that's the selling point. It just

it's a hamburger. They combined.They've combined a hamburger and a deli sandwich.
Very greasy and well now you've justyou've just thrown me off the scent
now boos, But you've had them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I

mean I can't. Well, letme see what else is going on here.
They've got tiny ones, right,yeah, but they don't have the
Roman Burger. As a tiny one. I don't think. Well, this
is referred to as their signature product. I mean, I've seen the billboards,
I've heard the commercials. Right,mister hero on the air all the
time, which is great grilled salami, Italian luncheon meets you know how I

like a luncheon because that makes itsound fancy, Swiss, Swiss amer and
cheese. I don't know what thatis? Sorry about Maybe they're missing a
comma lettuce, tomato onion, somethingcalled mayo. Ma oh, is that

what that is? But you canget it without that. And mister Heroes
house dressing, I prefer a sportwhat. Okay, well, I'll put
that on my list of things thatI'm no Listen, I've been here this
Christmas. I will have been onthe air here at WMMS for fifteen wow

years now, I know to thelisteners of this show, it seems like
three times as long, right,yeah, but it's pretty silly for me
to have been here that long andnot done these things. I have a
child born and being raised here,right, I don't have to be a
native, but she is. Maybelike for your fifteen year anniversary of being
on the air and Cleveland you doall these things. I have a feeling

that, you know how, likewhat before football players have to get paid
a big bonus, the team cutsthem. That's what's gonna happen to me.
They're gonna they're gonna gonna go,hey see you later. No,
I'm I'm here through Christmas of nextyear contractually, but this Christmas will be

the fifteen year mark. So Ireally do need to step it up and
and and figure these things out,you know. I mean, I think
I think in the big scheme ofthings, these are small details. But
you know, next time I havea conversation with someone, I don't have
to go, oh, I've neverhad what right? And if I start
randomly wrapping everybody from the three onethree, you're not gonna like, what

are she talking about? Well,I mean I think that that might be
a little uh less ob twose,I mean I get that, but I
know the area code. Yeah,I might not know the lyrics, but
yeah, I'm definitely gonna know likeDetroit area. That must be an I'm
eight mile reference. Yeah right.Clarence parents have a real good marriage.

You know that Clarence parents. Clarenceparents have a real good marriage. What
is that a part of it?I was going to say, if I
haven't seen it, how am Igoing to know any of those references.
That's what we're saying. You needto watch it, so when I am
sitting in so what you're talking aboutbe rabbit on you and you know that's

up Mike and Parma has a greatsuggestion that doctor Bergland should have a part
in the mists around the Corner toput the spotlight on Peyroney's disease around the
Corner. I guess, being thereference there Alan the parmesan Sicilian steak sandwich

is superior to the Roman burger.I had to discussed. I will try
it, all right, never hadit? So that a hot take,
literally and figuratively. I would guessso, but I can't. I've never
had it, but I'm sure it'sgreat. Okay, did you I'm gonna

do a hard left turn here.Okay, did you see that Michael Richards
was a rape baby? What?Yeah, that is a real hard turn.
What are you talking about? Doyou know who Michael Richards? I
don't. He played Kramer. Ohon Seinfeld? Okay, and he has
a you know, Jerry Seinfeld's beenin the news obviously for a variety of

things. People are having a goodtime dunking on Jerry Seinfeld. But Jerry
Seinfeld's been the same guy for fortyyears exactly. So just because the kids
are figuring it out now doesn't meanhe's a different guy. But Michael Richards,
who played Kramer for a long time, you could always he always had
an undercurrent of anger. Right ifyou ever watched Seinfeld bloopers, he was
the guy that got mad when peoplebroke. He wanted to maintain and he's

got a book coming out, andthen of course he had that his career
kind of got murdered because he threwthe N word out when he was trying
to do stand up in the wholething. That was a long time.
It's like fifteen years ago, butthat pretty much other than doing comedians in
cars getting coffee and like Jerry wouldthrow him a lifeline every now and then,
Michael Richards is like, I'm notlooking for a comeback or anything.

I'm just he's putting this book outand a lot of it seems to kind
of to me explain why he alwaysseemed the way he was. Because the
bulk of this book, it's calledinterests in entrances and exits and it's out
like next week, and he's like, I never ever felt worthy of anything.

I never felt wanted, I neverfelt blah blah blah. I have
a temper and it all comes fromthat, right, And he said it's
because his mom lied to him abouthis dad. First, his mom told
him that his dad died in thewar, and then changed it up and
said, well, actually he diedin a car crash in the late nineteen

eighties. He finally got his momto admit that his father was alive,
so he hired a private investigator andfound a guy with his with that name
on a birth certificate. But hesaid, but I also discovered that guy
was also not my father. Sohe basically kind of got it out of

his mother. Confronted his mom,and she confessed that she didn't know who
his dad was because he was theproduct of her being raped. Wow,
which is a wild what so thiswhole thing, He's like, you know,
my mom was twenty six. Thiswas nineteen forty eight, which means
abortion was illegal and very dangerous ifyou managed to get one from somebody,

you know, And so yeah,it's a wild So I don't know what
kind of press he's doing, butthat was like a heavy duty. That's
a lot dropping, especially from Kramer. I had to come to terms of
knowing that I was unwanted or thatmy mother wanted to get rid of me.
Oh, I don't know if hehas I mean, I don't know

if he has siblings or anything like. That doesn't sound like it, no,
but he's like, so the inferioritycomplex, he's like that was a
running thread through my entire career.He's like, I turned down a lot
of opportunities because I didn't feel likeI was capable of doing them. I
said no to the Hollywood Walk ofFame. I said no to hosting Saturday

Night Live twice because I didn't thinkI was any good. Oh man,
Oh that's sound. That's a bummer. He would be great. It goes
to show you you never know whatpeople are going through. You don't.
No, that was sad. Yeah, he said he still doesn't expect forgiveness
for his racist rant. I'm notlooking for a comeback. I mean that

was almost twenty years ago. Peoplewere heckling him or something and he threw
he started throwing the N word outis that a shell? What? Yeah,
I was post Signfeld. Those guysall had money, viral celebrity moment
of yes, you remember cell phonecamera and in his mind, he would

say later on he was like,I was trying to to point out the
absurdity of the word something like that, but it absolutely didn't come off like
that. And you know, wellthat was also like people a lot not
a lot of people were filming peoplein public or in clubs, you know,
two thousand and six. That waslike the MySpace. You know,

it's pre Twitter for you know,yeah, it's like you were a baby.
I mean you were like eight yearsold then. Yeah, it was
like early YouTube. No wonder shedidn't know. Yeah, YouTube is like
a year old. That's crazy tothink about. Yeah, and he wasn't
a stand up comic. He yes, he didn't know how to handle Heckler's

so, yeah, he's really reallyangry, and he had crisis managers.
He's like, they're trying to getme because I didn't. He do Letterman
with Seinfeld. I remember him goingon Letterman to talk about it and he
had Jerry with him, so thatI think so that Jerry was like I
love this guy. He doesn't havea mean bone in his body, but

should have had JB. Smooth onwith him. God, Michael Riches is
seventy four. Yeah, it's crazy. All right, hey, Bill,
let's do it. Are you inany mood to start the weekend. I'm
ready to cheer baby everybody heaven andcalled me aby me brother? All right,

best promise the Bill Squire Friday toget down in honor of the late
great Murray Saul here at w MMS. It's how we start the weekend.
Take it away with you answer,I got to get down on Friday,
even if you gotta hang over.You're eating buggers waffle, stopping your way

into the weekend. You got that, got that get down on Friday.
Poop stop the poop stopper, poopstopper, No, there it is.
Kind of got distracted by the ratbaby story. Oh my god. No,

that was good, thank you.That was very entertaining. I'm coming
down. I read my own stuff, you know, just do it on
the fly freestyle. I didn't.I guess I didn't set you up for
success with that. I didn't realizehow homos I was to get down there,
and it happens. I should havegiven you a little little yeah,
he plowed through. He's a professional. And now I must leave you as
the Brady bunch is on and Ifind four of those children incredibly arousing.

Yet, be careful of what yousay. Be careful in every way,
Be careful of what you do.Big Brother is watching you. Be circumspect
and discreet, stay light on yourmental feet. One slip and you know

you're through. Big Brother is watchingyou. And with all narratives, remember
ovidios paid. And when you watchthat davy screens, remember it works both
ways. You disappear in a wink. Unless you can double think, you'll

vanish into the blue. Big Brotheris watching you.
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