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June 7, 2024 161 mins
The Alan Cox Show
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Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
The Federal Communications Commission has determined thefollowing content to be emotionally harmful. Funny
things that she thinks funny aren't funny. Jimmy Cox, solid time, Alan
Cox Show picks ash Man, Welcome, Welcome, sho me what you're going
to see a lot of cocks onTV? Allen Cox? From me?

Also, I don't know what it'sabout you by can thank you. It's
gonna be a crazy show. Let'skick it coet and you'll get eight with
a safety group. Okay, whatt three kicks it? Come day?
Put you one time ticket? Whattime? Allen Cox? Here we go,

He'll add, he'll be trying.It's the Allen Cox Show on one
hundred point seven double U M Mas party hither helly, what's up?
My name is Allen Cox. Thanksfor being here. Welcome, Welcome,
say hi to Bill Squire's over there, creeps everybody. Mary Santora is out.

She's in Michigan right yeah, doinggigs year. Comedian Chris Red is
going to join us later on.Finally going to get to meet him.
I've had him booked a handful oftimes over the years, but something always
happens. He's a busy boy.He is very busy, so he'll be
in a little bit later on todayhe's doing the weekend at Hilarities. He's

a funny dude, talented guy.If you want to join us, please
do two one six five seven eightone double oh seven eight hundred and three
four eight one double oh seven threefive want'll send me a text? Best
way to do it, Well,that's the only way to do it.
There aren't multiple text lines. Ifyou listen on the iHeartRadio app, leave

messages there A lot of people preferto do it that way as a direct
line to Well, it's a directto something. And I'm mourning today.
I'm in a bit of mourning becauseof my mourning. I'm m O you
R and I n G. Becauseof my m O R and I n

G. They didn't start off wellfor me, you know, got up,
worked out the normal thing. Theearly part of my morning was business
as usual, It was as written. It was when I left for work
that things started to take a turn, where people talking about you in front

of you and like like whispering andexcluding you, like having to marry the
other day, staring me right inthe eye as they did it. No,
it's nothing like that. It wasjust kind of a series of events
that I don't know. You know, this, this dude cut me off,
which no big deal, but indoing so all this was in a

residential area, so I wasn't farfrom my house and do he just pulled
way out and in doing so,like almost hit this kid who was on
his bike. Ooh. And thenas I'm on the expressway there on my
way into work, there's this dudea couple of car links behind, but
I can see he's really flying upand he's kind of breaking and he's trying

to figure out which lane to getin, and you know, there's a
whole bunch of cars around me orwhatever, so you can see that he's
looking for a lane that he canjust start flying through, but there isn't
one available. So he kind ofcomes up alongside and then backs off,
and that he's in like a convertiblebeamer or something. And so this guy
is causing problems in the immediate vicinityof my car and other people that are

near me. But okay, whatever, I mean, you know, everybody
who's driving they've got some issues.You keep your keep your eyes open,
keep your head on the swivel.And then I come downtown and I get
into work, and I park andI come in and I have a couple
of things that I have with mein the warning that I need to put
into the refrigerator, and my cherishedYETI tumbler, My big, my big

black Yetti tumbler. I've got theI carry it in my backpack when I
come in, and I was inthe kitchen putting some other things into the
refrigerator, and I had laid mybackpack down and the Yeddi tumbler is in
a side pocket. And when Iwent to grab my backpack and bring it
into here, it just fell out. The Yetti tumbler fell out. The

lid was on and everything, butit landed right on the lid shattered the
whole top of the thing off,and everything comes pouring out onto the floor
of the kitchen. I'm like anotherlover. In a million years, I
couldn't have planned to do that,right. Those jetties are pretty tough.
You can take them, even thethick plastic ones, you can take them

and throw them on the ground andmaybe the get slightly dinged up. This
thing fell right off the counter therein the kitchen shattered on the floor and
uh not salvageabole. It just broke. It broke the twist cap off with
the top, the whole thing.But it's spilling all over the floor.
Now it's a Friday, so nobody'shere, Like, you know, Keith

Hochkiss is in his office right outsidethe kitchen, so there's a couple of
people here. So it's not likeit was the end of the world.
But that was not how I wantedto start my day with being on crouched
down just unraveling a giant roll ofpaper towel soopping up what was going to
be a delicious morning drink for me. It was nice and cold. I

had put ice in it. Ohmy goodness. First world problems, to
be sure, but that was notthe way that I wanted to start my
morning. That's a bummer because thoseare built to withstand things like that.
So for the top the shattering,that's saying random, yeah, because it
was like a cap that you screwon, and now is it's can you

get a replacement cap or do youhave to get a whole new year?
You got to get a whole newthing. I just threw it right in
the garbage. When I was Ipoured the rest of it out because there
was a couple of cubes of ice, and then the rest of the was
just water. The rest of thewater, I poured what didn't spill out,
which was maybe five percent was left. Poured that into the sink,
and then I got to work soppingthis up off of the floor right next

to it. But our buddy Jeremiahnext door a kiss FM, he had
posted a video a couple of daysago that I had just happened to see
where he was extolling the virtues ofthe Oala water pot. Well, I
wasn't here. I saw this too, but I still don't know what.
I wasn't familiar with the oalas.I guess he was doing a video on
his show about how they're far superiorto the Stanleys or all the rage,

right, So I don't know thatI had seen an o Wala And I
was like, well, I've alreadyI saw this video a couple of days
ago. I said, well,that's all well and good, but I've
already got my trusty tumbling now younow, I don't so I took his
advice. I mean it was Iguess it was Kismet that I had seen
that I took his advice and Iordered one on Amazon and I should have

it the next day or so.Now I won't need it tomorrow because I'm
not coming to work. But thatwas not the way that I wanted to
begin my day. Was was AndI did that thing where I stand there
for a second and I go,what, you did the same thing,
So assess the situation. When Ifirst moved in, I was painting and
I spilled blue paint all over myfloor and all over a rug, and

I just like sat there for asecond, and the girl I was dating
at the time was like, well, fob it. And I was like,
I know, but I just Ilike it. But it just I
just couldn't believe I did it.How did that happen? You just I
don't even remember, but you thecan of paint over or probably yeah,
something stupid like that, something justidiotic. Yeah, ruined a rug.
The floor cleaned way worse than hedropped my water and blue paint. Holy

cow. Yeah, we did somepainting. Well, I shouldn't say we.
Gwen did some painting a while back, and thank god, she is
so unbelievably precise and fastidious with thatkind of stuff. But I know that
if I had tried to help,I would have just stressed her out and
something would have gotten knocked. Iwould have knocked something over had I been

part of that process. So shewas doing that while I was at work.
But we'll see how the new howthe new Tumblr works, and see
if Jeremiah knows what he's talking about. I have no reason to think that
he doesn't. But I kind ofwent in blind. He doesn't even know
that. I didn't see him today, so he didn't even know that I've
blindly taking taking his recommendation. Ihad a water bottle like the old walla.

I don't know if it was anofficial ol wala, but it was
good for a while, but thenit broke. And yeah, I think
these are stainless steel, which Iprefer the thick plastic ones. But in
a pinch, I'll try this outand see and again, big deal,
right, I think you might beable to get them in plastic, but
I opted for the h the stainlesssteel one, just to see. Have

you ever been impregnated with excitement?Well, like you're showing welcome back to
your new daddy. Allen Cox,I'm w mm agree. I think change.

I keep reaching for my reflexively reachingfor my yetty tumbler over here to
have a sip there. It's likea phantom limb Bill. It's you don't
even it's because I don't even realizethat it's not there and there to just

go, okay, break, hydratea little bit. Yes, it's just
it's routine. Yeah, but itdoesn't it's not there. You don't have
any water. My yetti tumbler islike the fifth beetle. No, I've
got a I've got a couple ofbeverages in the refrigerator. I just didn't
have time to get at this break. But and I've got my I've still
got my salmon jerky. There yougo. So I've got your salmon jerky.

Yeah. As long as I gotmy salmon jerky, I'll be all
right. Hey, the Guardians arein Miami to play the Marlins tonight.
That is a seven to ten firstpitch here on MMS. We roll out
about six thirty. What's the Friday, Maybe we'll roll out it now five
fifteen or something. Oh, becausewe got the Bill Scuarre Friday to get

down later we can do it early. Whatever. Well, I don't want
to throw people off too much.We throw off just fine, It'll be
just fine. I have very specificways in which I like to throw the
audience off, and they might notbe time sensitive, but anyway, seven
something is a pregame and then seventhirty five your first pitch tonight. That's

a three game series and then they'llcome back up play a couple of games
against the Reds before they head toToronto to play the Blue Jays. The
Guardians will return to the friendly confinesof Progressive Field on June the eighteenth,
so they're gone for a bit.I'm going to be out Portage Lakes Way
tomorrow later in the show. Todaywill be the last chance for you to

qualify here on the show this weekfor one of these trips to Hawaii.
But all weekend long, I'm gonnabe out with ConA Brewing out that way,
and that is you coming out andqualifying for these trips. So tomorrow
I got a couple of different spotsand then Sunday, So tomorrow I'm going
to be at the ramp from threeto four. I'm going to be at
the Sandbar from four thirty to fivethirty because people have been asking, Hey,

I live out this way, whereyou're gonna be. That's where I'm
gonna be. And then Sunday I'llbe at Dano's from two to four.
But if you go to WMMS dotcom, it will give you all the
details because I have a handful ofthese all through the month. Coming up
the fifteenth, I'm gonna be atPicks. Have you ever been to Picks?
Have not been to Picks? Andthen we do the finals of this

at the Upper Deck on the twentyninth, and then one person is gonna
end up spending five nights in Hawaiiwith someone. If they're choosing, that'd
be great. Oh that's even better. You get to choose you're going with.
Yes, So it could be afriend, it could be someone perhaps
to whom you owe a favor.You know, they might have the opportunity

to call that in. It shouldhave us broadcasts there so we can document
what a good time they watch themhave their vacation. Also, and I
don't want to be like, oh, what excursions do you do today?
What did you go down the beach? You go see a volcano? What
are you doing? It'd be greatradio for all of us. It might
be just me and you. Idon't think you know, Mary can still

broadcast from New York, and Mary'sbeen to Hawaii. I've never been either.
I think it would also be agreat opportunity for somebody to really pull
a ball or move with someone thatthey haven't been dating very long, you
know, like a grand gesture.If you think things are going well but
it hasn't been that long. Yougo, hey, listen, I just

won this trip to Hawaii. I'dlove to take you. And then you
go, don't tell my husband,and uh, you know, listen,
people are living their lives out there. You can't tell people what to do.
You can't tell people quite frankly,can't tell them anything anymore. You

know. Yeah, nothing will quenchyour thirst like salmon jerky. Somebody points
out I like it way more thanI thought I would. I was trying
it for something different, but Ienjoy it quite a bit. I don't
think I've ever had salmon jersey,salmon, smoked maple strip. I mean,
I like smoked salmon. I'm verybig fan of that, but I've

never had a jerky form and ohyeah, yeah, it's it's an epic.
I've had the buffalo beef ones before, but I tried the salmon and
if that doesn't blow your skirt up, It's described as a ground and formed
meat strip Yuh may bone appetite.So Alan, please ask Bill if I

win the Hawaii trip, would Billlike to go with me? Well,
Bill's gonna want to know if you'rea male or a female first, unless
you do a Bros trip. I'llgo, You'll go. Yes, if
you win that trip, the Billwill be your Plus I'm wanting a free
trip to Hawaii. Yeah, I'mgonna go. Wow. Yeah, Well,

then fingers crossed, that could beyou and this person I called little
Spoon. I guess that somebody hasto call that first. Like Shotgun,
I'm always the big spoon, soit would be nice to finally be the
little spoon. Black bears are onthe rise in the state of Ohio.

You people who live out in thesticks probably already know that. Republicans Yeah,
Ashtabula, Giaga, Trumbull Counties especiallyout there. Ye, black bears
are all over Ohio, the onlybear species found in the state. The
black bear populations are growing, andyou know there are a lot of places

in this country where certain species wereeventually driven out, but little by little
they come back, and they're comingin. I just like, I like
to imagine how this works logistically,because the stories as they're written, they
go, well, there's a lotof black bears in Ohio and they're mostly
coming from Pennsylvania and West Virginia.And so I imagine bears hitch hiking.

You know, they've got it.They've got yeah, yeah, a tin
case. Yeah, trying to makeit to the Rock and Roll Hall of
Fame. Can you give us alift? Uh huh, a tiny suitcase
with stickers of all the city's beento on it. Yeah. Or one
of them's got a bindul for sure, he's more carefree than the others.
Yeah, looking for picnic baskets allthroughout the Buckeye State. So black bears,

again, this is not new informationfor those of you who live way
out there, but you know,just keep your keep your eyes open.
Even in more densely populated areas,people are starting to notice. I hesitate
to say wildlife encroaching because we're theones who encroached, but they seem to
be kind of claiming, reclaiming theirtime. A lot of deer, a

lot of coyotes, a lot ofwhat else have I seen a lot of?
I mean out by where I live. My god, so many platypi
platypusses. Is it platypusses? Somany platypuses? Yeah, it can be
either. Okay, So they're seeinga lot of black bears in the state

of Ohio, and especially up herein northeast Ohio. They're not federally endangered
animals now, but I think thestate of Ohio tells you you can't kill
them. I don't know if that'sit. You know, people who hunt
on a regular basis, if theyhear that something is not federally endangered,

they get a little moist in theshorts. So obviously you'd want to check
with your odn R and your yourgaming commission type people fish and game,
fish and wildlife, gaming, wildlife, whatever it is, and they have
all these things like hey, becauseit doesn't just have to be out there
in the middle of nowhere. Youmight be at the window washing some dishes

in the kitchen and you see abear wander by, and I think by
now most people know how to makesure that they don't get you know,
bring the problem to their own door. You know, you don't leave food
asks. Yeah, and if yousee one, you don't try and pet
it, right because you know,they point out that they really don't want

to have much to do with us. So it's very, very unlikely that
a black bear would attack a person. Just give it a wide berth.
You don't want, kind of aDiCaprio revenant situation. You don't want that.
Yeah, And they's big, soit's not going to be it's not
grizzly like he was dealing with.But they can still mess the person up.

But I also wonder how many ofthese tips they give you actually work,
or if they've us been said solong that people repeat them. They
go, stand your ground, appearlarge. You know, you're supposed to
make yourself look bigger, make aseries of wild gestures and loud noises,

and you're just like, yeah,off and stuff too. Yeah, you
bear the hell out of my veins. The Italian, Ah, how do
you want to like commen? Now? So? Yeah, because I was

reading about a woman in California whogot mauled to death by a bear.
This is a seventy one year oldwoman in California, and they found her
dead in her home. She wasliving in the Sierra Nevadas. She's living
one of these mountain communities and shewas killed by a bear. They found

her dead in her home. SoI don't know if the did the bear
come in her house because they initiallythought, well, she died before the
bear came in, but then theydid kind of a pathology report on her,
like no, no, no,she got killed by the bear.
Could the bear have mistaken her fora salmon? Is there any chance that

that could have been a thing.I don't know. Probably not, I
don't know. Small Mountaintown here onupstream, they didn't say that either.
When they found her. She wasn'twet. That's probably all they know.
Small Mountaintown near the Tahoe National Forest. And I was like, when they
find the bear too, you know, that's wild to me. There's so

there's so many amazing things going onin the world that are worth investigating,
and it's probably something really simple.I don't know. But if you go
to a woman's house and she isdead and she's been mauled by a bear,
then another group of people go,we got to find that bear,
And how do you find the bear? You're near Tahoe National Forest. How

do you find the bear? Here'swhat I think. They don't. They
find a bear, but then yougo nope, because they want to make
sure it's that one. So theyDNA test the bear. They do.
They DNA test the bear to seeif that yes, you are not the
maller. But so they find thebear who is the maller? You are

the mallar, and they ethanize it, which seems a little unfair because bear
is just out there doing whatever.And you know these mountain towns, you're
gonna have bears rummaging near your homesand looking for things. Now, the
woman was wearing a hat made ofpeaches, which is really bad from a

design standpoint, but really even worseof a decision in a community where bears
are not uncommon. Don't do that. Whatever you do, those of you
who live out there Ashtabula, TrumbullCounty, Jaga County, don't if you
have any articles of clothing made offruit. Perhaps you have shoes made of

carved honey. I mean those arebecoming quite popular. Well think twice Rebok
used to have the honeycomb hexagon cushioningand now they're using actual honeycombs. Yeah.
Yeah, they'll get some bears yourway either super comfy, but there's
a trade off there, and itmight be your safety. The door was

broken and there was bear scat onthe porch, so I assume that's where
they got the DNA. I imaginethey didn't swab every bear within a five
mile radius. They got the DNAfrom the scat. You're fast, boy,
you go in, you maul alady, you go. I take
a dump on her porch and you'reout. Man. Nature's crazy, but

yeah. The woman's daughter said thatbears were frequently trying to get in through
broken windows, and that her motherhad physically repelled a bear before. You
know, can you think of anyplace where people can get new safe windows.
I can't say bear proof, butyou know, nor can I.

I mean, you know, thethe window nation windows that I've got in
at my house, Bill, I'venever had I've never seen a bear in
my neighborhood, but they certainly arestrong. Now Here's what I would worry
about, though, is if abear in one of these communities dressed up
as a window installer, then yougot problems, right, don't be tricked.

Nope, because they're gonna come inand they're gonna have these are the
signs to look for. They're gonnahave glasses, are gonna have on a
fake mustache, they have a toolbelt, and you're gonna go who they're
not just after your picnic baskets.They're gonna kill your mema, kill your
ma and h Also, it's goodto point out that not all black bears
are completely black. Sometimes there isnoted in the article I read cinnamon brown

so if you look real closely,cinnamon brown bears, which now that just
sounds like Teddy Grams flavors. Well, a lot of people are pointing out
to me too, and maybe thishas something to do with it with these
bear attacks because it is Pride monthand but not no, not not that

kind actual bears like first a majoryou know, although sometimes those bears cinnamon
brown, cinnamon brown bears. Yeah, so they DNA test the scat,
But then how do you find thebear? You go, how do we
find this bear? Because you haveto compare it to something else. They

you know, they swab the womanor figure something out. I think we
got two kinds of DNA here.There's human and there's there's ursine DNA.
Then what do you do? Yougotta track that bear down. Now,
how did they finally find the bear? It was? They looked for the
bear that was wearing the woman's Easterbonnet, and they finally found it and

it was hiding behind a tree,and they euthanized it, which I think
is nice. I mean, theycould have shot in the face, you
know, but that's uh. Theyeuthanized it. They got it a last
meal of blueberries and honey and fiveand a half pounds of peaches and then
for dessert, fadal overdose of phenabarbitol and I don't know if it had

any gas. But speaking of bears, Alex Jones is Alex Jones is.
The articles say that he has finallyagreed to liquidate Info Wars, and I'm
trying to figure out what the realstory is because he's been fighting this forever.
Alex Jones is a liar and agrifter, so you never know what

his real plan is. All Iknow is that ever since that Sandy Hook
verdict, he's been shoveling all hismoney quietly into his dad's like a shell
company in his dad's name. Theplan seeming to be so he can go,
well, I don't have any assetsand then let Sandy Hook pick up
the scraps the people who he owesthat huge judgment to. But maybe it's

legit. I don't know, becausehe had been pushing back at every turn
saying we're not going anywhere. Hedidn't want to give one red cent to
those poor families. But apparently hislawyers are like, there's no way to
reorganize what we've got going on here. You know. Chapter eleven is when
you try to reorganize your situation,and I guess his lawyers are like,

look, there's no way around this. I think he had a big ranch
in Texas he sold or whatever.So as of today, that's the word
that they're going to liquidate his See, he doesn't control info Wars right now
either, because as part of thisbankruptcy, I think it went to some
court appointed company or something, orsome overseer. Now I have to wonder

if that overseer has any connection to, of course the Illumini, But I
don't know, because he owes thesepeople like a billion dollars and Alex Jones
makes a lot of money. Hesells a lot of dumb crap to a
bunch of rubes. But he didn'thave a billion dollars. So yeah,

for a while he was he wasfunneling all of his money into something in
his dad's name. But I don'tknow, for people who are still Info
Wars fans, I don't know what'sgoing to happen, because that is one
of his assets. And so itsays that as of yesterday he agreed to
liquidate his assets, including that wouldend his ownership of info Wars. So

who knows. This is a marriedguy with his own children, and you
know he's made his he's not.He was fun to make fun of for
a long time, but fun tomake fun of anymore. I didn't even
know Info Wars was still a thing. I didn't even know that he was.
I mean I played that clip earlier. Yeah he's crying, Yeah,

but I didn't know what form ittook. I mean, I don't know
if he staff or anything like that. I mean, for a while,
he had all kinds of people workingwith him and for him. I think
it'd be real funny if somebody that'slike a real anti Alex Jones that's got
a lot of money bought info Warsand turned it into like a completely different

entity, like rebranded it as likea liberal news site or something or yeah,
not even that, just something god, what would be something diametrically not
even politically diametrically opposed, just somethingthat it was just a screen of like
a cartoon cat that you could goto and you like, you put in

your birthday and it would sing youa birthday song or something. But they
keep the same address. It's stillin. It's still called info Wars,
but it's just a static cartoon ofa cat or maybe a bear mauling a
woman. I don't know too soon. I mean, I just don't.
I don't think there'd be a realbig audience for it. Oh maybe there
would be, I don't know.Now, this doesn't mean that info Wars

will cease to exist. They could, They could sell it to another owner,
but it ain't gonna be him.So they have a hearing scheduled for
next week to determine the fate ofhis company, called hilariously Free Speech Systems
left just as on the top,I will I will do that. I

will miss these, you have to, but we got I feel like we
got the ones that we're gonna getyou know, and I don't think there
is gonna be too much between thisone and America. First a frog and
chemicals in the water because they turnedthe frigging frog cage? Do you understand
that turning sob cares crap case?Frigging frogs not funny. I'm gonna say

real slow for you came from America, America. Get that through your head,
dude, America America first, youheard that before? What America America?
What the hell man? Dude,America car America first all you let
me explain one damn thing, America, America, America. Dude, you

understand America, America, America.My point is America's first, America,
America America hell Man Buble Goblins,Ah, well, we'll never forget his
stance on goblins. Nobody will everhave to ask, hey, what is

his position on goblins? It's alwaysanti. If he sounds super excited to
see you, Hey, what's up? Remember he is a paid performer as
a broadcaster. He's real good.Alan Cox on one hundred point seven w
mms. His hands more simful ofspoonge. Thestring will start to oose.

Why you got to say those things. A see this is beyond the nest
everywhere you got you see those things? Aye, jauzy stazy stazy easy?

Why got just see those things?Easy? Hazy easy, ecy easy?
Please those just because you. Ohwhat a beautiful song. Courtesy of Shawn
out in Brooklyn. There. That'sgreat, It's very good. Thank you,

Sean. Sean. I was remindedof that song because I was watching
the tail end of Wheel of Fortunethe other night and the word moist was
in one of the so they pickeda food or something, you know,
one of the words was moist.I'm a jeopardy watcher myself, but I
will catch the last few minutes ofWheel of Fortune, and so I watch
the end of that or whatever.And today is Pat say Jack's last show

on Wheel of Fortune. Oh,they've already been taped. I don't know
when they taped. Did they dofive or six episodes a Wheel of Fortune
a day? He and Vanna andhe has been hosting that show for forty
one years. He and Vana White, and so they both recorded a goodbye
to each other and to the audience, and Pat say Jack finishing a long,

long run. He announced last year. Of course he was retiring,
and then they announced shortly after thatthey had had Ryan Seacrest waiting in the
wings, which I think will bea fun gig. I mean again,
I'm not a Wheel of Fortune watcher, but I mean, you know,
there's not much to it, andit would be fun to toss that around

a little bit. But Pat,say, Jack, I don't know what
his next act is, just retirementprobably, I don't know. Yeah,
some people they always say retirement andthen you know, about a year later,
they're like, well, I don'tknow if the guy plays whatever.
But he's a Chicago boy, youknow, so I got to give it
up to him for that. He'sa guy who who started in radio.

He was in Vietnam and he tookover remember Adrian Cronauer. Yeah, the
Good Morning Vietnam guy. That's theguy that Robin Williams played in the movie
Good Morning Vietnam. His name wasAdrian Cronauer. And Pat Sajack had taken
over Adrian Cronauer's show, and sothere was a period of time where he

would still end the show with signOn rather with good Morning Vietnam. But
Pat Sajack won like a teenage DJcontest at this long time oldiest station in
Chicago. It was a WJMK,and so he was a teenage disc jockey
and then he started moving around thecountry like you do in radio, and

he got out to LA and startedhe was a TV weather man in Los
Angeles, and then MERV Griffin,who was the creator of Wheel of Fortune
and a bunch of other game shows, asked if he would want to take
over. Do you remember who usedto host Wheel of Fortune before? This
is before a lot This is probablybefore your time, obviously, but a

lot of people forget. There wasa guy named Chuck Woolery. Okay,
I know he was the host ofWheel of Fortune. A lot of people
remember him from Love Connection right toback in the Chuck Woolery he was I
was a kid when Pat Sajack startedon a Wheel of Fortune. But they
used to have a daytime version anda nighttime version, the syndicated nighttime thing,

and then they had a daytime versionthat would run on NBC. And
for a while, Pat Sajack wasdoing both of them, and then they
were like, well, we're justgoing to have you do the syndicated one,
and so he ended up hosting thatshow longer than Bob Barker hosted The
Price Is Right. Pat Sajack hasgot that Guinness World Record, and he

and he would show up in things. You know, he was an airplane
two and he was you know,he'd show up in movies every so often
playing himself. And he's a conservativeguy, and so he said things from
time to time that rubbed people thewrong way. But big deal whatever.
If you were to follow him onsocial media, he was much more pointed

in his comments than obviously you're goingto be on on Wheel of fortune.
But the guys had a hell ofa career. I remember there was in
the eighties on Saturday Night Live,Martin Short did a character named Ed Grimley,
and one of his jokes was thathe was constantly he was enthralled with

Pat Sayjack. And so there wasthis headshot of Pat Sajack on the wall
and that was just kind of partof the set there, but it was
funny, and so that kind ofput Pat Sajack in people's minds too.
I mean, he was, youknow, because Ed Grimley was remember Ed
Grimley had it's a greasy like unicorntype hair, what I must say,
and all that, and so yeah, Patsa Ajax has been around a long

long time, and his last Wheelof Fortune episode is tonight. Vana White
is sticking out a little bit longerbecause she finally, after thirty seven years,
they gave her a raise because they'relike, look past leaving. It

took pat leaving for them to agreeto give her more money. So she's
going to stick around for a coupleof more seasons because they pretty much doubled
what they were giving her, andthey I guess they figured that will be
the bridge between these say Jack andSeacrest administrations. You made me who I
am. You really did. Asthe years have gone by, we've grown

up on television, but we've alsoshared so much more behind the scenes,
and as much fun as we hadon camera, those memories, milestones and
life events we shared with our familiesoutside the studio are my favorite. We've
watched our children grow up together.We've traveled all over the world. We've

eaten hundreds of meals together. We'velaughed, we've cried, we've celebrated.
Oh gosh, what an incredible andunforgettable journey we've had. Oh she's heartbroken,
she's tearful, she's emotional. Youknow Vanna White famously. Oh,

it was a big scandal over thereat Wheel of Fortune because she had been
in Playboy. Remember the Vana WhitePlayboy. I mean I was very young
when they came out, but sincethen I've looked it up. Oh yeah,
is it online? Yeah, Iknow they have copies of it on
eBay that you can get the VanaWhite Playboy. She's of course said later
on that she was embarrassed by it. It was May of nineteen eighty seven,

so she had only been on thatshow for a few years. But
she said that she has regrets aboutit because she was a good Southern girl.
I don't know what her thought processis, but so she recorded a
big thing for Pat because they didn'twant to do it live, or they
didn't want to do it to eachother. Right, that's not that kind

of place. And then Pat recordedhis own message to the audience. It's
been an incredible privilege to be invitedinto millions of homes, night after night,
year after year, decade after decade, and I've always felt that the
privilege came with a responsibility to keepthis daily half hour a safe place for

family fund no social issues, nopolitics, nothing embarrassing I hope just a
game, but gradually it became morethan that. Right in the vice,
where kids learned their letters from othercountries, honed their English skills, where
families came together along with friends andneighbors and entire generations. What an honor
to have played even a small partin all that. Thank you for allowing

me into your lives. Yeah,long time there. I remember he had
a talk show when I was inhigh school, The Pat Say Jack Show.
This was a time late eighties.What do they call that? Called
it? What do you say Jack? Well, I think it's Pat was
already taken by Saturday Night Live,So what do you say Jack works?

What do you say Jack? Yeah, that's pretty good too, The Pat
Say Jack Show. It was veryshort lived. It lasted one season.
It was like, yeah, itlasted one season, but we were peeking
in on it because late eighties everybodywas trying to come up with a Carson
killer. Everybody was trying to findout, Hey, who can we put

on, and this was CBS atthe time, who could we put on
that might make some inroads with JohnnyCarson? And of course, one by
one these networks would find out thatnobody nobody could. Arcinio did. But
I mean that was kind of thebeginning of the end of Carson. Anyway,
he already had he was already doinglike half as many shows a year
because they were having guest hosts allthe time, Shandling and Jay Leno and

yeah, so Carson already had anumber of saw spots that they could get
him on. But I remember thePat Sajack show. They had initially approached
him to do Wheel of Fortune,and he said no because he wanted to
do a talk show, and thenhe ended up taking the Wheel of Fortune
thing. But one of those producerscame back to him a few years later
and said, hey, CBS wantsto put something on against Carson to see

how it does. And Pat Sajacksaid, okay. So they spent a
lot of money and he signed aguaranteed two year contract, which was smart.
If you're going to start up ashow against Carson and they go,
we'll give you two years, great, because you're not going to last that
long, and he didn't. Theypaid him sixty grand a week, and

he's like, he was very clear, He's like, I'm not looking to
reinvent the wheel here at all.This is gonna be very much kind of
a standard talk show. But theyfigured that, you know, he was
so liked from Wheel of Fortune anda popular pop culture guy that hey,
maybe something's here. Ironically, hisvery first guest was Chevy Chase, who

would go on to have an evenworse talk show over at Fox. That
Chevy Chase show was just got awful. But the Pat Sajack Show, and
again it didn't last long, butit got a lot of attention right before
it got canceled because they had RushLimbaugh guest host, and he basically turned

it into a television version of hisshow. Rush Limbaugh could never get television
to work because who the hell wantedto look at Rush Limbaugh. No one.
So the radio show, he wasunbelievably successful, whatever you think of
Rush Limbaugh professionally for in this business, unbelievable, But on television, nobody

wanted to look at him. Butyeah, he filled in for Pat Sajack.
I think they knew the writing wason the walls. They were like,
I don't care, and he waslike yelling at women in the audience,
turning it into the you know,Pat into the Rush limbas Show or
whatever, and so yeah, theysigned Pat Sajack for a couple of years.
He lasted one and he still hadhe still had a Wheel of Fortune,

so he didn't care. He tooka shot at it better than you
know, not doing it. Butit was right after that that Letterman left
NBC. CBS signed him for aton of money and then the rest was
history. But that Pat Sajack show. For whatever reason, my mom would
always watch the new late night talkshows and they would pop up. Alan

Thick had one. It's called Thickof the Night. Rick Dees had one.
I think that was called Into theNight with Rick d Pat Sajack had
won. These all were very veryshort lived. But I just remember my
mom watching them and so if Iwas up, I was watching it.
So he had his little foray intothat. But when you got a gig

like he had on Wheel of Fortune, you're not going to go anywhere.
You just stay with it because whynot you make a ton of money,
Because what do all these actors andpeople say. Now, they go,
oh, I'd love to host agame show. Where I was clicking around
last night. There's game shows on. I don't even realize they're on.
You know, Elizabeth Banks hosts anupdate of Press Your Luck. No,
I saw the fact that you clickaround is still crazy like Hulu Lives.

I mean, I got Direct TVLive, but I just don't click.
I either know what I'm going towatch, but I never just like scroll
through the chat. Well, allmy daughter ever wants to watch ever Ever,
I used to be able to gether to Simpson's once in a blue
Moon. Still all she ever wantsto watch is Bob's Burgers. Huh.
And I love Bob's Burgers, right, but I don't want to watch it
all the time. And so anyway, so I'm she was doing something.

Then I go, I'm gonna clickaround here, and I thought they were
it was the Game Show Network,and I thought they were showing old episodes
of Press Your Luck. And I'mlike, oh, you got to watch
this, the Whammy's and the wholething. No, it's an update with
Elizabeth Banks hosting, and oh god, damn is she gorgeous Elizabeth Banks.
But I mean, they've got allthese other nighttime game shows now that Chris

Hardwick's got the one with the giantballs on it, and our buddy Jay
Farrow's got one called the What's itcalled the Wall or I don't know what
the hell it's called, or Who'sGot Balls? Yah, something like that.
Yeah, because all these people arelike, oh, game shows are
so fun, and they would bethey'd be super fun to host. And
if you're if somebody's been doing aslong as Pat's a Jack or even Jeopardy,

any of those long running shows,you do five or six of them
a day, so you can doa whole season in a pretty short a
period of time, and you're makingmillions of dollars, you know, and
you have you have like nine monthsof the year off and you're traveling,
you're doing stuff, You're shooting innertish. Hey, me and Van are here
in Rome. Would you would youlike to show they're not in front of

a green screen, they like flythem to Rome, you know, to
shoot stuff, and it'd be great. So anyway, Pat say Jacks very
last episode on Wheel of Fortune istonight, all right, of all the
game shows like that, we'll callit the Big four that I feel like
I've been around the longest. Yougot Jeopardy, you got Wheel of Fortune,

you got uh price is right?And let's make a deal, which
one would you want to host?Jeopardy, Jeopardy because Jeopardy, well,
let me think which was I'm onprice is right? Yeah, that would
be fun. I mean, yeah, you know, it's it's just Jeopardy
is pretty nerdy. Jeopardy is justit's it's so repetitive. I feel like,

whereas there's more chance and just kindof silliness around prices. Right,
Well, it'd be more for forme. It would be more fun to
host Jeopardy because you always have theanswers, so you sound like you know
what you're talking about all the time, even though you're just reading them off.
But who cares about that? Buteven when I'm at holled and somebody
gets it, like last night inJeopardy, I was killing Jeopardy last night.

Normally I'm not that good. Lastnight I was murdering and Gwen wasn't
even the room, so she didn'teven see me kill it. But I
don't believe it then. But butas I'm watching the show, somebody will
get something, and I'm constantly likeout loud, I'm going, God,
good for you, Oh my god, that's great. People will have stuff,

you know, they'll pluck this information, they put it, they put
a bunch of episodes of like oldepisodes of Jeopardy on Netflix a few years
ago, and I was dating agirl that was pretty smart, and we'd
watch episodes and she would just rattleoff answer after answer after answer. I
was really even if she just hadseen the episodes and memorize it, it
was still impressive because she knew prettymuch every answer. And then a sports

category came up in pretty quiet rightnow? Oh yeah, and so are
the people on Jeopardy. I meanso funny when they're sports. They're like
this athlete unless it's champion shipped withthe Chicago Bulls. Wow. No,
unless it's gotta be Jordan level forthem to know, right, it's got
to be that. What did theyhave the other day? They had?
It was a it was a pictureclue and it was Russell Westbrook and it

was crickets. So funny. I'mlike, oh, even I do that,
That's how bad it was. Yeah, anything sports, if you give
them, you know, seventeenth centuryEuropean wars, they kill it. Yeah,
but sports. It was just roastedon Netflix. Doug Fluteie, No,

I'm sorry, Thomas Brady Esquire,Yeah, so it's yeah, So
anyway, it is weird, though, I don't know why. So many
game show hosts are like conservative.You know, there's a lot of people
give pat sage art time suits.You think that's what it is. But
even before him, Chuck Woolery islike really like conservative dude, Wink Martindale

and Drew Carrey and Bob Barker andBen Stein and you know. So I
don't know. I don't know whatCarry. I mean, he mostly donates
to Republican candidates, Yeah, whichis his right. I'm just I'm like,
I'm like, your whole business modelis handouts. How are all you
guys conservative? I don't understand it. Pats a jack, He's had a
hell of a career and he wrapsit tonight on wheel right in the butt.

Drew Carry is an outspoken libertarian.That's for people who don't want to
admit to being a Republican. Hewas placed in an escape pod before his
home planet was destroyed by the Depowerof the world on Earth. He is
a god among men with superhuman powers. At least that's what his will says.

Why on one nmmas two five seveneight one double oh seven. If
you want to join us live oreight hundred and three four eight one double
oh seven three five one nine two. Want to show me a text if
you're watching live at alancoxshow dot com. Thanks and tip of the hat to

Swindy gluckle Stank for assisting in thevideo department. Thanks very much, do
appreciate it. Guardians are playing tonightdown in Miami against the Marlins. It's
a seven to ten first pitch,so six forty tonight, right after we

get out of here is when thatpregame will begin, and then they'll head
to Cincinnati. They got two againstthe Reds and then up to Toronto for
a three game series against the BlueJays before they return to Cleveland on the
eighteenth, So they're gone for abouta week and a half on the road.
Comedian Chris Red is going to joinus next hour. You know him

from Saturday Night Live, Keenan's showthat was on for a bit. I
love that show. That was aunfortunately show that didn't last Keenan Thompson's Show,
but he's doing hilarities this weekend.Very talented dude, so uh.
A couple of movie roles are justroles that I really enjoyed him and were

the pop star movie The Horrible Ithink is the name. And he was
really funny in that oh Donut fromDetroiter's Oh right. His whole bit that
making fun of Tim Robinson for beinga goofy white dude at a black comedy

show. I forgot about. Ilove donut. I'll have to mention that
to him. Forgot about donut?Yeah, donuts? Great? Do you
want to talk to Gaylord Bill,but gay Lord wants to talk to you,
Okay, let's talk. Hi,gay Lord Squire. I just wanted
to talk to you about your showSaturday. Yeah. Yes, my wife

surprised me today with tickets to yourshow. Oh, we're going to take
an hour and a half trip out. Come on the gay Lord. It's
a you're you're in Wellington? Yeahyeah, and your wife surprised you with

a ninety minute car ride. Uhhuh wow. So I kept telling her
that I wanted to come and startseeing you guys in person, and I'm
going to be doing that, SoI'll be boring you all by coming out

to you. Well, I appreciatethat. That is very kind. I
guess. I guess Gaylord's the guyto be now with how far somebody is
willing to go to Bill show.You've got to beat ninety minutes. Yeah,
thank you. I thought you werealso in New York, and I

thought, well, I don't thinkI can drive that far. Yeah,
that's that's a hike. I'm gonnabe in Salamanca, New York next Saturday,
Salomonka like Hector Salamanca. Right,But h I love you all,
and I just I want to supportyou all and try to start seeing you

in person. So I'll be thereto see your shelves. One way or
the other. You want to haveto be uh, anybody, I'll be
stuffed by a taxi der mist orsomething. This good Lord, take me

away or whatever the case is.I'll be there one way or the other.
My wife will prop me up inthe corner somewhere and have me face
in your direction when you're on stage. Well, I love you all.
I appreciate it, all right,Gaylord has fun? All right? Anybody

wants to join Gail, thank youfor thank you once again for having me
on this show. I love you, of course, thank you. There's
gay Lord who's tried ninety minutes toWellington to Madison to see Bill tomorrow night.
That is dedication if anybody else outthere listening wants to see me,

Bill Squire dot com, get thosetickets. You can see me and you
can meet Gaylord. Oh addressed likeSanta Claus again. Wow, just like
Santa Claus last time we came tosee me. What's the venue in Salamanca.
It's a dispensary, I believe.Oh, they hit me up all
right. I only know Salamanca becauseit's right on the Allegheny River, which

is one of the three rivers thatconverges in Pittsburgh. But it goes all
the way up and I'm pretty sureSalamanca is on the banks of the Alleghany
River and it's probably not far fromthe Comedy Museum. Yeah, I'm actually
gonna go up there, take mygirlfriend in the comedy museum, and then
go do the gig here you goes, There'll be a lot of fun.

You gotta get up to that comedymuseum. I know so good. I
do good. I always forget aboutit and then I'm like, oh,
I want to go up there.Hey, and Mike and Parma. Just
one that black bear thing. Lastyear when I was up or down in
Gatlinburg, there was a black bearthat was around our cabin all week long,
and then on the last day whenwe were leaving and packing up the

truck, the mama bear actually openedup my passenger side door and got inside
my truck, which was kind ofcrazy. So I ran out there,
banged on the driver side door,and it finally ran away. So I
guess there is something that is kindof making loud noises and uh, you

know, being big and things ofthat nature. So there's my kind of
two cents on it on how todeal with a black bear. But I
think most of most of the timethey're pretty tame and really don't want to
be around people. All right,thank you, thank you. Mike Oh

got in his wife's side of thecar. You know, if that were
like an old timey movie, theguy wouldn't realize it was a bear.
He would think it was his wife, and he drive home the bear yea
god. He'd look at the bearand the yeah, because the bear be

sleeping and be like, oh,somebody's tired, and that's right, pulling
the driveway and hey, we're home, and then the bear goes u Then
the bear starts yelling yeah, that'sright. Very eighties comedy type A moment
my mother the bear. What happened? I was reading about how the United

States has stunned Pakistan in the WorldCup of Cricket. You know, Pakistan
is a perennial contender there and theUnited States shocked not only Pakistan but the
world. You know how hard itis to shock the world. Yeah,

and the United States has done it. Hey, the Cricket World Cup in
Dallas and calling it one of thebiggest shocks in cricket history. It's gotta
suck to get beat by a countrythat couldn't care about one cricket. Yeah,
they didn't even know this was goingon, doesn't even care. And

every other country in the world theylove soccer. I know soccer is kind
of blown up here, but Imean cricket. Cricket is miles to go
before I sleep, boy, becausegay behind water polo it is. People
here are two consumed with pickleball andslap fighting. Cricket is a distant fourth
or fifth and so congratulations. Butif you're in Pakistan and you're like,

oh, we got knocked out bythe United States, that's a big,
big blow to the cricket fans therein Pakistan. The US is Pakistan's not
out yet, but the US beatthem. The American team plays India next,
with Ireland slated as their final matchupin the opening round of competition the

T twenty Cricket World Cup in Dallas. I didn't know this was happening,
no clue this was happening. AndI would imagine that ninety nine percent of
people in this country didn't know thatit was happening. So the United States
hashtag let them know what was happeningthere. Gaylord is like this the sloth

on the Utopia. Don't know whatthat means the z Utopia. They go
to the like the bureau motor vehiclesand it's all sloths working there. Oh,
I see. I think it wassomething like it was like some government
building and so like the sloths arejust moving so slow and talking so slow,

and yeah, it's a it's afunny scene, but it is very
similar to Gaylord. I see.Uh. There is a guy in Shreveport,
Louisiana. The story is from ktaL Television on their in Shreveport,
Louisiana, and all of the othertelevision stations are reporting on it because one

of their former television anchors. They'rein the market got scooped up in a
pedo sting and it was a groupof kids pretended this wasn't an official thing.
A group of kids started having conversationswith this guy, telling him pretending

to be a fifteen year old girl. Because these dudes are like, yeah,
there's guys out there doing this kindof stuff. They're in Shreveport and
there's so many people that do this. It's just like their YouTube or TikTok
channel is just them busting people.There's one where a guy makes the suspected

well the guy that was I thoughthe was talking with a fifteen year old
girl or something. He makes himbring a burrito and then he starts eating
the burrito while he confronts him,like, so you thought you were talking
to a fifteen year old girl.And he's just like smashing this brito while
he's doing it, like he justinhales his brito while he's telling this guy
that, uh, he brought himvery lunch and didn't even know what he

was walking into. Yeah, they'regonna turn over all the records to the
police, and this guy's gonna bea big trouble. Yeah, because now
everybody is a citizen Chris Hansen.Yeah, I can't control my horny level.
Everybody wants to be that guy now. So former because he resigned.
Shreveport television news anchor, a guywho was pretty well regarded, had been

on television there for a long time. He was also the news director of
the station, Bill Lunn. Thisis a married guy. His wife's pretty
foxy. Lunn called police claiming tohave been a victim of an assault,
but then they determined that that wasnot true. So he tried to say
that these three dudes, they're blackteenagers, assaulted him Antonio Coleman, Cameron

Kennon and Katario Griggsby. They luredhim to an address after messaging him and
saying that they were a fifteen yearold girl. And so the local news
talk to these dudes and they're like, it is unbelievable how many guys are
out there doing this. As ahusband and wife anchor team. By the

way, they're in Shreveport reporting onthis story. Superport claiming a local news
anchor who also served as the organization'snews director is the subject of an ongoing
investigation by Shreport Police. Good Evening, I'm Dan Jovick and I'm Jackie Jovik.
The investigation was sparked due to theefforts of three local men who say
they've made it their mission to catchmantrying to have sex with underage girls.

They showed us the evidence they haveprovided to police and share a first hand
account of what they say unfolded thatday. It's our top silly by the
way, local news, and thisisn't unprecedented. Obviously, maybe not the
pedo thing, but local news lovesreporting stories on anchors from other stations.

They love it because it's their competition. And so if somebody screws the pooch,
you know you're working for the CBSaffiliate. I mean these days you
got to, you know, pickup whatever you can and kicks over there.
But if the guy at the NBCaffiliate, if they catch him in
like a hotel with a hooker orsomething, they love reporting that. Back

in the day, they wouldn't becauseof a professional courtesy, but now all
bets are off, they'll get right. It's their top story. Yeah,
for sure, we do. Wecase like top ratus here. Antonio Coleman,
Cameron Kennon, and Katario Grigsby areself described predator hunters. For a
little over three weeks, they've beenpretending to be an underage girl online in
an effort to catfish local men whoare allegedly trying to meet up for sex.

Is this crazy? Like how fatit is? Like how fast they
are willing to meet young like youngfema? This is crazy. The trio
says they were surprised by their effortslast Wednesday, May twenty ninth. That
day, she report, police receiveda call at eleven oh four am.
The call came from former KTBS newsanchor Build Lun. According to police and
a call for service report obtained byNBC six, one claimed he was the

victim of an assault in battery,but a case report on the alleged incident
paints a different story. According tothe case report, the alleged defense is
not for assault and battery, ratherfor computer aided solicitation for sexual purposes.
These three men are the reason whyit's always say does he noughed it out?
They created a fake meat meat assoon as he saw as he darted

out, Yep, He's like,oh no, you three guys are not
a fifteen year old girl profile.That profile is of an underage girl.
They say They then wait for mento like the profile and spark a conversation.
They say Lun initiated a conversation Tuesdaynight. They had a little conversation
going on, and he asked,how always it's his picture. The guy's

a local news anchor. He's gothis picture. He's wearing like a white
linen Don Johnson shirt. It saysWill forty eight years old. He goes
by Bill Lunn. This is amerry dude, right, Yeah, that
can't control his horny level. Hecannot can't. They can't matter what happens.
I can't control my horny level.The girl toys he was she was

fifteen years old. Antonio says hewas actually the girl. He says he
and Lun exchanged dozens upon dozens oftext messages over the next several hours.
Oh god, I love when theyshow the texts, by the way on
the news. Yeah, so youfree tonight what you have in mind?
I mean, we can just chillup my place and just vibe you.
Ah god, so much cringe Billhours where the conversation quickly turned two sex.

It was like sitting like picture's tour. He was saying he wanted to
do this tour, like explicit thingsI can't see on camera, Antonio.
Check the phone number he was textingwith. It was the same number lun
lists on his LinkedIn profile. Ohmy, well, he wasn't even using
a burner or anything. He wasusing the phone number from his linked in
profile. I can't control my hornylevel, man. Yeah, these dudes

just I don't know what they think. They must just be like, well,
I don't know, I don't knowwhat they think. They give a
local news anchor like you're a publicguy that they just can't help it.
Man, Oh, must be partof the thrill. Yeah, like a
fifteen year old girl to a localnews anchor is either they're not watching the

news. Whenever they got caught through, it's like I knew I should,
I should, I knew this wasgoing to be a scam asting whatever.
But they just even knowing that,even knowing that most of the people out
there engaging in this are probably justtrying to catch people like them, they
still can't help it because they're like, what if this is the Well,
not only that, but most peopleare thinking we're all used to hearing oh

it's police, it's law enforcement posingas a kid this. I've never heard
of this. Here's three dudes fromthe neighborhood. There's pretending that there's tons
of people doing this. Now wow, yeah, like civilian pedo posses.
Yep. God so lou to thefaith. But I'm like, this is
really his number, It's a realbill line, and so it was just

really just crazy. We were shownimages in the text message chain displaying sexually
explicit photos that Lun allegedly sent ofhimself. Antonio says, Lun set up
a meeting data. Oh that's thoseare his wieners, right, his balls
last Wednesday, let's make from work. Took a me here. According to
Antonio, when Lun arrived after designatedmeeting spot, the trio jumped out,

informing him of what was happening.You can see that theoy's eyes. He
knew, like, oh, I'mdone, they say. Lun ran and
later called police, saying he wasthe victim of an assault in back.
The three men waited for police toarrive. They say hours of questioning followed.
The call for service report shows policespent four hours and twenty one minutes

at the scene. The young mensay one was handcuffed in the back of
a police vehicle for hours. Allparties were released from the scene with no
charges filed. Sutport police told methere was an active investigation into one based
on the events of that day.I tried reaching out to one to get
his side of the story. Yourname and number and I'll get back to
this. Thanks. I have agreat bet. Bill. This is Dan

Drevit calling from NBC six News trying. Hey, man, I'm your competent,
and these guys all know each other, so on camera he's got to
be like, hey, it's BillDjovic from KTLA. But no, Yo,
man, it's Bill. What isgoing on, dude? Oh man,
oh, I can't control my hornylevel. Our live stream is now

scratch and sniff and then you canscratch the scream and then I have your
fingers. Yeah. Yeah, likecash show one dommas. Yeah. And
thanks again to Swindy glickle Stank forhelping out in the live stream today.

I have found my new favorite Instagramaccount. By the way, it's called
sun City Eighties. It's all thisgreat eighties synth wave. Yeah, and
all of his compositions say things like, yeah, you caught the killer and
the Mayor's happy, but you're gettingyelled at by the police. Kate,

you need to Something still isn't right, something doesn't fit. You just solve
the case and everybody's celebrating, butsomething doesn't add up. You're hanging around
on your usual corner. You're thekind of bad guy that everybody's rooting for.
For people old enough, we remembereighties kind of movie music and Cynthi

and guitar. It comes a guitar, Sun City eighties, eight zeros.
I love this stuff. There's sunglassesat night, a little tooth pick in
your mouth when I'm driving home andit's like, not right now because now
the sun's still up, but whenit was, the sun was setting as
we were driving home. I wouldlove. This is perfect night driving music,

like yeah, like dust music,or like yeah, or at night.
Oh, I love it. It'snineteen eighty nine and the summer romance
you both had has ended, butyou just can't let her go. It's
all keyboards and guitar where there's gotto be on with saxophone, the like
the latest post four days ago.It's in nineteen eighty seven. You put

your aviator sunglasses and step onto thenight in the city, city and never
sleeps there is. Well, wewere just talking about Kenny G's birthday the
other day. You know, heturned his stuff too. I love it.

The sweaty sacks. Oh man.We're having pensive moments, Yeah,
pensive moments. You're trying to findsolace in the rhythm of the night.
Yeah, that's great. It's nineteeneighty seven. You're driving towards the sunset

with one point three million dollars instolen cash. It's all eighties cop movie
music. Yeah. Yeah, peopleold enough to remember, and these are
all triggered. So the guy's playingall these on his keyboard, right,

he's got he's got some of theSomebody. Yeah, that's allab with the
saxophone. Yeah, but the oneit's Saturday morning in nineteen eighty seven.
You watched the City come to lifefrom the penthouse apartment on the top floor,
top floor. Okay, like Ican see the scene. May they

do a good job not just withthe music but setting the scene for you
with the city skates in there too. Yeah. There was a band probably
fifteen years ago. I can't rememberthe last time. I loved the band
so much and they went away.They're called The Day Sleepers. They're from

Buffalo, and it was a guyand his sister and their friends and they
just made these amazing shoe gazy curetype music. They put out just a
couple of albums, but they wereself producing them and it's it's time consuming,
and it's it's you know, it'sexpensive, right, and so those
albums of theirs now are probably aboutfifteen years old. But the one guy

still makes music, and he's mostlymaking this kind of music now's I think
he's got a band called Night Cruiseor something, and I love that stuff
too. The Day Sleepers was justa fantastic, fantastic shoegazy band that threw
in all the kind of stuff youknow, the cure and cocktail twins and
just all that great stuff. Butthey didn't last very long. The sound

of the city at night. Thisis going to be me and my uber
after the contest, and I hadto miss around the Corner contest. I'll
tell you why. When I wasI was talking about how when I was

off the air after my station inChicago blew up, before I came to
Cleveland, I was off the airfor a year and a half and I
was selling I was in the salesstaff at what was then this jazz station,
and a couple of days ago Iwas talking about that was when I
met Kenny g As he had comethrough for some performance or something like that.
But when I would go before allof that, when I was still

in college, that radio station,I wasn't a huge listener of it.
But I think one of the thingsthat got them to hire me coming from
off the air onto the sales sidewas I was like, I would always
listen to that station at night,you know what I mean? Like if
I was when I was living inother cities and I would come home and

I was in a cab if itwas nighttime, the cabby's always had the
smooth jazz station one, and soI associate that with this kind of music
seeing in a cab at night,some smooth jazz. Yeah. I had
like a jazz station playing before theshow at Brothers Lounge on Tuesday, just
like a you know, like ainternet radio station. It was great,

Like nobody knew the music, buteverybody was like kind of bopping around is
good? Good? Like as themore a wasn't quite smooth jazz, a
little uh more up tempo than that. But it was fun well because that
radio format for a long time,it was largely instrumental, So those radio
stations to kind of keep people going, you know, they would kind of
there was him, R and Bin there and you know. But it

was like when I first came toCleveland, I couldn't believe there was a
smooth jazz station on the air inCleveland. Yeah, because there was.
It was the wave. Yeah,and I think it's been back and forth
a couple of times, but Ithink it's gone for good. But again,
fifteen years. I've been here almostfifteen years, and when I came
to Cleveland, I could not believethey had because those stations don't make any
money, and so a lot ofthem went away. And I was like,

oh my god, how does amarket like Cleveland have a smooth jazz
station. It was around for aminute. Kenny and the Last Room said,
this music is either for making loveor being the most devious bastard in
New York's sit Yeah. I thinkagain. I like their descriptions of like
you just you've just given the chiefyour badge and your gun and you're walking

off into the night. So good, yeah, out, But it is
like like you said, driving aroundwith that music on, it feels good.
It feels real good. It's theeighties and Steven Sagal is training you
in his dojo for a secret missionin Japan. Because that's what this is.
Though, Steven Sagal movies right whenhe would be training, that's exactly

what it was. He'd be doingthings a little whistle in the byeah yep,
bamboo pipes and angular bands that hesays when Kelly LeBrock is watching him

fortify their house where they where thebad guys show up. Anyway, that's
dynamite and there's there's a lot ofaccounts like this. I'm sure that's why
it was suggested to me on Instagrambecause I'm sure I follow other ones like
this, but this one really Yeah, I'll get dark wave playlists like that
all the time. Yeah, theone really got me Where I got me

where I live Alan. My birthdayis the day after yours. You don't
know what mine is. I'll bea way they were on the Funny Bus.
Oh yeah maybe they were. Yeah, anyway, the account is sun
City eighties on Instagram eight zero sunCity eight zero s for people who are

asking me and there's a lot ofthem like that, so if you follow
one, it'll start probably suggesting otherones to you. But there's a lot
of like synth wave, vapor wavekind of bands like that, if you're
into those. As far as theFunny Bus goes, my week's sold out.
The twelfth, nineteenth is already soldon. Yeah, next two weeks
are sold out, and the lastone I'll be doing the last one on

the twenty sixth, and there's youknow, those are gonna go fast,
So you can go to funnybus dotnet look into the twenty six that will
be our last one on this run. We did May and June wednesdays and
they're a lot of fun. Butyeah, the next two weeks you're sold
out. We are out Monday,by the way, so I will have
two pair of tickets for you onTuesday to join Bill on Wednesday. So

there are four seats that are notsold because those are the tickets I have
to give you, but I'll dothem both on Tuesday since we're out on
Monday. Costco has decided that they'renot going to sell books anymore. If
you ever go into Costco, youmight not have noticed, but they have
a massive thing in the middle ofthe store that is stacks of books.

And this is not good news topublishing companies because Costco obviously moves a lot
of stuff. But I thought theirreason for it was really weird and possibly
lame. They said that it wasnot carrying books, we'll cut back on

labor costs because because books, theycan't just bring out on a palette and
PLoP them down. The books haveto be stacked by hand. So Costco
is like, yeah, it's costingus too much to pay those what three
people to stack books for five orsix hours? The labor costs of paying

people to stack books by hand.So here's what I think, And you
should put this to everybody who thinksthat this is some terrible development. Costco
should say, Okay, we cankeep the books, but we've got to
raise the price of that hot dog. What do you think people will pick?

They will say, screw the books, will help you burn them.
So all these people are screaming aboutthe book. They're like, I'm an
American, I eat, I don'tread, all right, good luck with
the books. But I thought thatexplanation was super lame. Yeah, it
costs us too much to pay thosecouple of people to stack books. But
if you're a publishing company, youget an order from Costco and you're high

five in because they move a lotof units. Costco is a big outlet
for books because there's fewer and fewerbrick and mortar. You know, there's
like a what's it Crocker, ABarnes and Noble. I remember what's around
it. I know Borders is gone, but there's a books a million over

in Fairview Park. Yeah, booksa million, buy them and there's half
priced books and you know, souh yeah, Costco is going to stop
carrying books, so maybe they'll havea a big old sale or something over
there. Last year, more thanseven hundred and sixty seven million books were

sold in the US. I wonderif they count audiobooks in that. I
bet they do, Yeah, becauseit makes it look better. And now
you can get audiobooks on I meanlike Audible where you do a subscription,
a lot of like audio apps.Spotify does audio books on there now too.
Yeah, if you get to listenthere, I feel like they go,
hey, that was one sold,right, And obviously books really blew

up over the pandemic. People wereat home reading but yeah, hey,
we'll keep the books, but hotdogs going at two body, I'll tell
you what. Make it nothing butcookbooks and you've got a deal. How
about that, this is America.Just stock nothing but cookbooks. Or just
make it like the DVD bins thatthey have at back in the day at

Walmart. Yeah, where it's likeall the five dollars DVDs. Just do
it with the books. The booksare just all you just you just need
a giant bin. Yeah, youjust dig through and go like, all
right, what am I getting here? You don't have to pay people to
stack him. You pay one guyto just whip them into a giant pen
and then you dig through and findout. I still like buying physical books.
I still do that. I buyhardcover books because I like them.

I bought it. I wanted acopy of The Last Laugh. If you
have ever read The Last Laugh.No, it's one of the first,
if not the first book written aboutstand up comedy. And it's probably so
it's all those old timey comedians,but it's a very interesting book about the
craft and the art of it.It's called The Phil Berger is the guy

who wrote it, Phil Burger.It's called The Last Laugh the world of
stand up comics, and it's likePrior and Milton Burrell and Rodney and Lenny
Bruce. So it's that generation ofcomics right because the book I think is
probably from the early seventies, butit's like one of the between The Last
Laugh and Ladies and Gentlemen Lenny Bruce. Those are like the two, you

know, for people who are reallyin the stand up those are the two.
So I was like, I wanta copy of The Last Laugh because
I didn't have one. I haveLadies and Gentlemen Lenny Bruce, the Albert
Goldman book, and I have ComicInsights, which is the Franklin A.
Ji book which is great, andBorn Standing Up, which is a quick,
quick read, but it's a greatbook. So I'm like, I
want to copy The Last Laugh.And I found a hardcover copy on Amazon,

but I didn't pay that close.I said, bye, now it
was ninety seven dollars, yeez,And the one I'm looking at right now
on thriftbooks dot Com is one hundredand nineteen dollars hard. I just didn't
I don't ever do that. Ijust didn't pay attention to it. And
it was ninety seven dollars. It'sreally old, so it's like an OG

copy and there aren't many left.But it's a very entertaining book. But
yeah, I still like and Ihave a kindle. I always forget I
have a kindle, you know,like those OG kindles back when you were
putting like HBO and Netflix on them. I still have the old age app
on there's like before iPads really takeme, Yeah, before Roku and all
that stuff. I had HBO goon my on my kindle. So I

still have it like on my nightstand, but I always forget it's there.
But yeah, I like buying books. Now I buy the I don't I
probably re I buy them and thenthey stack up. But you know,
my wife is constantly listening to booksallan. I miss my convertible because I
would absolutely blast that stuff with thetop down. Yeah, yeah, I

wouldn't mind if somebody who was drivingby blast and that it's the other stuff
people are usually blasting that. Itdoesn't really scratch me in the right spots.
I'll do that with the windows downand the sun roof open. There
you go pretty good. It's prettygood. I mean even the actual movie
soundtracks. If you go back likethe lethal Weapon music was Eric Clapton and

Mark Knopfler and those guys, sothey were kind of they were in the
mix there. It's pretty good.Yeah, there's waking up in the morning,
hung over with the drinking a warmbeer, smoke a cigarette. Uh
huh, reflect on your life,miss your dead wife, the moment living
in an airstream on the beach.Martin Riggs, you're a dirty cop in

nineteen eighty five, and nobody canknow that you're the one leaking the intel.
You drive from one scene in thecrime to another as a lead detective,
not to make sure things go asplanned, but also to plant evidence.

Get out of here, Murphy.Nobody wants you around. Towa's a
guy named Murphy. Where's another goodone here? You're it's the eighties and
you're falling for your late partner's wife. It's always cop centric, with nighttime

city scapes that looks like Japan.What the hell is that? Scotty was
a good man and he took abullet from me. I don't think it's
right that we do this. Ilove you, Barb, but I can't
betray Scotti. This is the greatpart of this account. Is that all
of the comments are people writing theirown synopsis of what it would be,

so the comments alone are fantastic.All are men and women in uniform.
I've been a lifelong fan twenty yearsof military comeback on a sign year afternoons
show is horrible thanks from the AlanCox Show. Horrib on one hundred point
seven wmms Chris Red. As youknow, you were one of the true

highlights for me when I appeared onSNL all last season. You're great.
He's doing a new character at SNLcomedian and cargetting coffee for the rest of
the cast. Alan Baldwin breaking yourballs on his own roast Chris Read in
town to do hilarities. See usuallypeople share my jokes from the roast,

but different that's for you to do, you know what I'm saying, Like,
No, I actually that he roastedme. I actually, I actually
hadn't realized that you were on thatroast. Well, because we're constantly talking
to people now about like doing theseroasts, what it can do for you,
what it might not do for you, And I guess I haven't seen

that one like that was seven oreight years ago, probably right. I
mean, you'd been on SNL formaybe a year when you did that.
I mean, I can't I couldn'tquite tell you. I'm drinking coffee at
full twenty three like it's eight am. So I appreciate, but all right,
h yeah, it was a whileago. It was. It was.

I was definitely the least known personon the but I asked, I
asked the solid, solid jokes inthere. Yeah, it was real.
Proud of the work. Rose isalways fun man. That Tom Brady one
was huge. You know, it'sa big deal. Yeah, it was.
It was. It was super sick. Uh. I always know something's
really successful when I' jealous, Iwouldn't yew uh you know. I was

like, oh, yeah, that'sa good one. Okay. So I
was talking about this yesterday because wewere having a conversation about how Netflix wasn't
super hip on Tony Hingecliff and Roganwent to bad for him and went to
Tom Brady's people and said, hey, I'd really like this guy on and
they go, yeah, okay.So I was like, how does this
work? Do they call your people? Do you go he I'd like to

do a roast. I thought itwas Jeff Ross just pulling friends and how
does that work that you get ona roast hey man, that's I guess
it's no Joe Rogan is answer toyour question, well, who asked you
to be on the Alex Pah?Yeah, how did you get on?
I mean that was when they wereon Comedy Sta Roast Battles in in l
A, like all the time.Was always I was always going on Tuesdays

the Comedy Store, uh and hanginglate and then being like a guest judge
all the time on there. Andyeah, so when they were having uh,
within that scene, you were known. Yeah, and then when they
were having like the roast Battles whenComedy Central was doing the just like the
regular TV show, I used tocome back to Atlanta to go shoot that

with everybody else kind of be judgesand kind of was watching. And so
I was kind of in that I'veknown Jeff alone time, so I was
kind of just in that world.So I am not really curious, but
why do you have me on that? Rose Man? But yeah, when
it comes to Netflix, I'm notreally in that world outside of like I
got a show coming out that Ican't talk about, I guess uh on

on Netflix. But like outside ofthat. I don't really Netflix is you
can talk people break news here allthe time. Tom Green told us about
his show before anybody else found outabout it. That's you can talk about
it. Well, they don't nothing. They tell me done, which this
is not me being like not beingI don't know. Yeah, once it's
in the can, you don't knowwhat's gonna happen. Yeah, Chris redd

is at Hilarities this weekend seven andnine forty five shows tonight and tomorrow night.
You can go to hilarities dot comfor the details. Why am I
like this is the most recent hour? Yeah? Yeah, man, that's
uh, that's my hour on HBOMax. Yeah. Yeah, so I
know there's like a whole little thingof like, don't stream makes Field Max
going on right now, but pleasestream my special Yeah? Why that is

they're merging with there's some people madabout those things. Yeah. Just you
know, I'm trying to keep upwith the algorithm, man, just do
it through something at me. Uh, Like yesterday it was like there's a
movement. I'm like, I don'tknow how successful movements are, right,
Yeah, I haven't heard this oneyet exactly. That's the problem with movements
now. That was too many.The algorithm has created individual bubbles where you

think everybody's talking about something, butit's only fifteen of y'alls. Yeah,
and the rest of us are confusedabout what this is. Well, and
everything's so segmented now too because ofthat, Like right, I mean,
there's there's people that are, youknow, giant musicians and never heard them.
They're not playing on the radio,but they have that bubble of people
that everybody and it's uh, it'sgood and bad at the same time.

What gives everybody a voice? Nowwe've learned every should everybody have a right
exactly? Yeah, I mean,should there be gatekeepers and talk about first
world problems? There's a movement ofpeople complaining about their streaming services. Yeah,
yeah, man, we got itgood, I mean real good.
Yeah, that's why we're going backto the table. Guys. Go ahead,
go ahead, get your Disney bundle. Uh yeah, it's exactly going

back to that. It's full circlenow, Baby, I didn't know you
were a Chicago guy. That's whereI'm from. Yeah, yeah, Yeah.
What I've learned is Alan didn't knowmuch about me. Well here's the
thing I minded that you were onUh Detroit. I forgot because we love
Detroit, or because I watched busdowns, so I was thinking of that.
My man, Oh I wish thatbecause they're done. Yeah oh yeah,
yeah, yeah yeah yeah. RipJack Knight, yeah man, that's

I missed him so much every day. Uh man. One of the best
things that ever ever made. Soproud of that joint. But I thank
you for being one of the tenpeople that so I loved it. But
I literally you were in and outas donut Detroiters, Like I literally just
watched that episode the other night.Yeah. Man, you know, I've

been I've been trying. I've beenplugging away at this thing, bro.
But you've had some great roles.I mean, you remember the good Ship.
It's okay, I'll get you.Pop Star was incredible. I love
More That. Such a funny movieand yeah, so funny in it.
So where did where do you?Where you? Where did you come up?
Where did you start? Where didyou I came I thought you were

from Missouri or something. I was, Okay, I am. I was
born in Saint Louis, Oh okay, But we moved to Chicago when I
was about seven or eighties, andthen we moved to the suburbs. So
I went to the school on thesuburbs. But then I came up in
the city, so I would goout. You had to, I had
to, yea, well, wherein the burbs were you? Well,

they were like Aurora in Neighborsville andpardon me, and they were like Neiborville
is aggressively clean, by the way, aggressively it's like aggressively a lot of
things. But it's cool. It'slike they vacuumed the curbs out there.
Oh man. And a little touchof racism, just a touch, a

little bit. Yeah. I wasmiserable a little bit there. But but
the city, man, the city'sthat's where my family was, my cousins
were. That's where the city,that's where I mean. When I was
rapping, I was going back andforth to the city. And then when
I switched up to comedy, Iwas going back and forth to the city
again, and I was. Icame up in jokes notes, and I
came up in the second cities.Oh yeah, so I did both because

you know, forty seventh in MLKwas jokes and notes. Yeah, it
was r jokes notes. Shout outto my mama Mary. She that was
just a great club, but likeit was such a segregated city as far
as like you could be in yourbubbles and he wanted to and I didn't
want to. I didn't want mycomedy to just be restricted to a certain
part of the city. So well, because there are also only so many

like I'm I did stand up beforethis, and I got going like midway
through college, and there used tobe a place called the Checkerboard Lounge.
Still the Checkerboard Lounge, is itstill? It's not? Buddy Guy though,
he like, it's been mini hostssince then. Yeah, but it's
still rocked the street from where Jokesand Notes was. But the Checkerboard Lounge
used to do a night on Tuesdays. I'm talking like ninety ninety one,

when the city still had all theclubs, so you could still do funny
firm and improv and all those places. The but black shows were the ones
that were like the two guys Iknew who were really going hard, they
were like, you should just cometo the Checkerboard Lounge. Checker Board loungees.
I kind of stuck out, butit was a hard room and I

was like, boy, this thisis going to get you good if you
can do okay in here. Yeah, man, because people decided whether to
pay attention to eat their fries,you know what I'm saying, And it's
not a hard decision, was right, and people were very bad at that
at that spot, but like,yeah, if you could rock that room.
It was one of those rooms.It's like, okay, you can
rock that joint. You might,you might get a gig out super south

Side, super South suburbs, likeDeep or something. So so then you
go to Second City, You're like, you you kind of wanted to have
a hand in both or you wantedto try it out because a lot of
people were like, well, I'mnot sure if I want to be a
lone wolf for I want to dothe improv thing. So I was.
I looked at comedy as a asa as a whole thing, and I

and I looked at all these differentways to do comedy. It's different tools.
So I was like I and everybodywas telling me you either do stand
up or you do improv. Itwas like the right separation talk about segregation.
Yeah, comedy in Chicago it's verycrazy. It's like those no improvised
stand up and I'm like all right, bro. None of y'all are in
gangs. So I got friends whoactually do that and they don't act this

ridiculous. But like I was like, I'm gonna do it all I'm gonna
do I'm gonna do it. Ohand if something's not vibing with me,
then I just didn't know who Iwas as a comic or where my interests
really were. I just was like, let me just try everything and see
what what sticks. Yeah, andplus, audiences will tell you what's funny
about you. Yeah, they'll tellyou. Oh yeah, absolutely, you

know what I mean. And soI remember my first year was really the
deconstruction of my ego because I wascoming from music. Music you always been
very braggadocius in that way, youknow, and and comedy is just not
that that way. So I remember, because you can get humbled so quickly.
And I did comedy at every level. Yeah, like, no,

absolutely, And I caught a coupleof bombs that really showed me what I
wanted to get out of this,you know what I mean. So,
did you go on the row forSecond City at all? Or I was
on a touring company. I wason the green coat because we smoke weed
and it was so much fun.That was the first time I left the
country. It was the first timeI didn't I had been traveling anywhere that

wasn't Like Mississippi. We did.We went to Mississippi all the time to
see my family and all that.But like like, yeah, man,
I opened my world up. Ihadn't. I hadn't been to Rome until
to Second City. So Second Cityto open my open doors up. And
they taught me how to travel brokebecause like they were paid you but not
enough to live, but enough toenough to get to your next gig.

And that's all I needed. Nowadays, people hold their jobs and do this,
which is so smart, right,So smart man, you don't have
to you don't have to wait people. Some people are used to doing satellite
man, I'm used to talking podcasts. Yeah basically, Uh so did the

Second City lead to SNL Then that'swhat it feels like now that I'm looking
back and telling the story, likeI'm really get to a child. But
no, it was years before.It was years like I did Second City
and then I had this NBC sketchshow. Uh they were it was like

produced by the the producers of likeThe Voice so it wasn't like the comedy
side of NBC. It was likethe other side of NBC. But they
wanted to do a sketch show thatcould like like that could be another option
from SNL and anybody else come outof that. Well yeah, yeah,
so, oh man, who's Imean? It was? I mean Blaine

Swing? You on Blaine Swing?Who does improvise Shakespeare in Chicago? The
name sounds familiar. Uh, Alexwho was also on SNL, who had
just who just left? He wasin he was in the program with me.
I call it a program. Itwas supposed to be a show.
It was programmed. Yeah, itwas a program, a program. So

so did you get SNL the firsttime you went out for it? Or
had you gone out for I couldn'tget an audition. I couldn't get audition,
right, I could not not evenright. I couldn't get an audition.
So I just said I don't wantthat's And then it wasn't until after
pop Star, Uh, like wayafter, like a couple of years after
and I was on the road anduh, that's when I got in a

call for an audition. I wasactually on the road with Jay Farrell.
Was I was at I was inLouisiana at that college when when I got
that call. So I went fromthere to New York and I auditioned.
Did he have anything to do withthat? Did he put a bug in
there after? I I'm aware of, but no, we had just met,
you know, he had that wouldhave been not crazy, yeah,

but no, it was just itwas just ironic that sure that he had.
He had just left, and Iwas like opening up with him,
you know. And then went toNew York audition and then somebody said that
I was in town and I gotthe job before I did. They reported
it on a bog or something.Yeah, so it blew up while we
were taking off and I'm sitting nextto like Lissa and Alex who actually ended

up getting it. Yeah, andit said that me and Mikey. When
Mikey got up, I remember,yes, I do too. It was
a night and the whole city waslike because they everybody had known how hard
I worked, you know what Imean, And I was like I was,
I was funny, I was outfunny and so many you know,

shows and different things, but likeI wasn't getting my shot, you know
what I mean. And yeah,I think that alone ruined it. I
would say that my audition the secondtime around was definitely much better because I
did that first time. Screwed you. Yeah, oh yeah, I bet
he doesn't like leaks. Uh alsocould definitely it could have definitely had not

been that, but didn't help.Didn't help. And then the next year,
I remember I had cleared my schedulefor this audition that year. That
next year they were like, youwere living in New York or l A
Uh No, I was living.I was living in LA. I was
not going to go to New Yorkunless I had a job because I had
already been broken in Chicago. Ihad been broken LA. I was like,

I'm not, I'm not doing abroke traveling tour. This is not
when I'm so and I was startingto make a little money and I had
like my places I could go upin LA. It took me five hours
to do five sets in LA.But you can get it done if you
want to, you know. Soyeah, I had my uber built.
Was crazy. The second year theywere like, yo, they want to

see you, and I'm like nah, because I was still better about how
it it all went down. Becauseno one made a statement to be like,
hey, this is a mistake.It was just like and then I
even called this website who said it, and they were like, it's already
getting clicks and shares, we can't. So I was just bitter. And
then they were like, wait,maybe you should just just do it.
And so I just threw the auditionin with like five three other shows that

night. So I went and didtwo shows. I had to drinking mynd
and then I went to that dothat and not. But I was like
solid because I had been touring.I didn't stop, you know what I
mean. So everything just got tighterand and I crushed that and then uh,
and then I heard I got thecall back, and I was like,
oh, okay, I was andI took everything with stride. But
then once I got the call fromLauren, I was like, oh,

I think I think I won't well. And I wonder if that's a recent
development of the past few years,because back in the day that the word
was always that, it was almostlike they didn't tell you that you got
hired. Lauren would just go,so you want to come to New York,
Yeah, and you're going. Sonow if they call you and go,
hey, we'd like you to comeon. That seems to be If
that's what they did, well,it's they called they call you that.

I got the Laura call when Iwas in Detroit. I was in Detroit
on tour and I had just crushedthis hard room and uh and I and
I was so we had been drinkinglate and I woke up and I remember
getting a call and they were like, well, Michael's online and I put
pants on like you could see later. It was crazy. I was like,
mindset, hello, yes, theycould just put pants on it,

no, buddy, And he waslike, well, what do you what
do you think about living in NewYork? My mom like this a job
offered my boy? Yeah, yeah, man. But I was already on
another show at the time, thisshow Disjointed that was on Netflix and that's

yeah with Kathy Bates and all that, and uh. And I was like,
well, I don't know, I'min first position in that. He's
like, we'll figure it out.And I was like, one man who
can say that, and then youknow he will, Yes, you know
what I mean. But like,for my first couple of months on that
show, I did not know ifI was gonna keep the show because they
were him and Chuck were like goingback and forth. There was no firm
answer. So I was like,in this show for the first time ever,

already high pressure and I'm not evenknowing if I'm gonna be there that
next week. It was. Itwas a it was a crazy lit first
one. Who was in your classwith you? Uh? Who? Heidi
and Yeah, Luke Knowle and HeidiGarden? Ok, yeah, Luke,
Yeah, Luca, lu Love,Luke Man, funny, funny guy brother
Freddy, She's still there. Youput in a good five six years.

How long were you in five?Yeah? Put it in a little,
a little strong fible. Yeah.Yeah, it was nice. It was
fun. It was fun, somebig moments. Yeah, it was a
one of those uh songs are stillgetting clicks all these years later. Yeah,
that's awesome. That's smith impression,fantastical love. I love Stephen.
You know what. I walked awayfrom that show having a very different appreciation

for impressions. Yeah. I alwayslike character work. You used to stand
up, you notice, like,but I like I like stand up structure,
like jokes like you know. Ialways thought impressions was something like like
juggling almost Yeah, ventriloquism. Yeah, but audiences love it, love it
and if you can nail it,it's everybody loves it. Yeah you can

if you can write well with it, Like it's to see so many people
that could really write and do impressionswas nice and and like, and it
has made me start paying attention tolike people who are actually like I do
stand up who also can do likeimpressions. That really what Godfrey's really yep,
one of those guys who like he'sa stand up, but that man
can do anybody, you know whatI mean. So like that's the kind

of I was like, Oh,that's fun, that's that's a fun thing.
And so that's there's some things Ipicked up from that. You got
an Emmy at SNL. I didit. Didn't even know what I was
doing, truly, they submitted youand I truly didn't understand. Like I
was like, oh that born showmy parents watched, you know, I
didn't really I didn't watch the Emmys. I didn't do this, but like

that, but it was it wasawesome moment. Man. I wish I
hadn't known how how how big thatwas. Then what was like all the
madness with like I mean being onthe show with Pete during all that stuff
that was that had to be.We were the closest. We were the
closest we've ever ever were. Whenhe started Dayton Area, I saw all
of it, you know what Imean. Did he come on the show

behind you? He was already there. Oh, he had been there for
I don't remember the timeline he goton, like twenty he went to Middle
Score or something like that. Hewas like the youngest guy to do the
thing. Yeah, yeah, Imean that was crazy, you know what
I mean? It was it wasit was wild. He had the best
stories in the room, you knowwhat I mean. But pizza good dude,

you know, I mean it wascool. It's cool to see stuff
happen. It's almost with that place. It's it's so stressful, and it's
built for this, it's built tobe that. Sometimes you don't really see
how good you got it, uh, until you until you leave, and
then you're like, oh, thatwas because I was like seeing his life.
But he was still getting mistreated incertain ways. So he was still
mad about certain stuff, and I'mlike, oh, you don't understand what

a conversation with you was like differenterror Yeah, this is crazy, bro,
but everybody the same thing. Ithink everybody does that, and anybody
who goes through SNL, you allkind of have. It's like a mental
secret handshake from that point on.Yeah, everybody's been in that fraternity and
yeah, it's like it's like it'slike going to war, but none of
us fought, you know, butwe all went there. You'll understand the

process. Yeah, we understand thetraining that it took, you know,
and that Keenan's gonna be there nomatter what. Yeah, I think he's
gonna. I think you're gonna putthe chairs on the tables when it's all
set. Yeah, that's another showthat should run longer. It was Keenan
show. Uh yeah, John Johnsonand yeah, man, it was a
nice, nice little recipe recipe ofpeople. Yeah, it was good.

Well. Chris red is at Hilaritiesthis weekend seven o'clock and nine forty five
tonight and tomorrow night. Chris redIs on Instagram. Yeah yeah, man,
I thought I was being clever bynaming it that because that Chris red
Is and whatever the picture is doingright right, But now people just think
my last name is Redd. Sofrustrating, right, it's what's something like,

you don't know me and it's red. It's right. Yeah, Well
I'm glad I finally got to meetyou. Manna coming in. Maybe he
can beat them? Join them,and it became join them, send a
strongly worded letter asking why your applicationwas rejected. Another helpful tip from The
Allen Cock Show and one of hervoice wumms. The Guardians are in Miami

tonight, the first of three againstthe Marlins. Tonight. They start up
at seven to ten, so we'llroll out around six thirty six forty is
when your pregame coverage will begin wherethe Marlins play Lone Depot Park. Rolls
run off the tongue. Ah,who doesn't Florida residents who don't cast their

minds back to nostalgic days at LoanI thought they played at Joe Robbie back
in the day, didn't they didn'tthat Marlins play Joerobby Stadium. We started
years ago, Yeah, Loans DepotPark. Well, it's eighty six and
cloudy in Miami right now, so, but they have a roof on Loan
Depot Park. It is considered thegreenest MLB park out of all the teams

in terms of its environmental footprint,very green park. I assume because of
the Loane well Ah AnyWho, Hey, Gaylord called earlier and he mentioned and
I only say this now because nobodyhas beaten the record yet. He's planning

on setting the record for the distancethat a fan of the show will go
to see Bill perform live. Thisis that we know of. I'm sure
people have traveled some more than ninetyminutes, Gaylord, who will be traveling
from Wellington to Madison where Bill's showis? That's tomorrow night. That's tomorrow

night, eight pm, nine pm, nine pm. Bill Square dot com
for tickets. Yeah, don't sendhim there early or late. I'm sure
he'll get there early. Do youhave a big things planned for Miss around
the Corner tonight. We've been talkingabout this now for a couple of weeks.
We've talked about it with a BridgetLynton of course when she sits in
for Mary, because she's well versedin the pageant world, and she seemed

to take a bit of umbrage athow you described your judging style Mary yesterday
when it came up. She didn'teven know what was going on when I
mentioned it, and she was positivelyperplexed. She thinks that it's bananas.
Neither one of those girls, bythe way, is on your side when
it comes to this. That shouldjust make they're not gonna be at That

should make you stronger. Actually,their derisions I don't make. Bridges got
to be up early tomorrow because shewas possibly gonna host it. But yeah,
I'm gonna see if she's gonna popout. But somebody's gonna pop out.
N I'm excited. So it's mePants and Tommy from my podcast Cleveland

America, and we're gonna we're meetingup beforehand to go over strategy, ategize
with some beverages. Yeah, becausewell, don't get too deep into it
though, you you don't want tobe like on the floor by game time.
No no, no starts eleven o'clock. And I know what I'm doing,
but I'm gonna, Yeah, we'regonna. We're gonna go in there
feeling real good, like I know, you know, I have a plan

and I'm gonna you know, it'sdefinitely an ubering night. Yeah, I
think I'm going with that uh philosophy, and I'm gonna go out there and
and figure out which girl deserves judgeyour ass be miss around the corner,
and I hope you guys come andjoin us because it's gonna be a good
time. Now, how will youguys? PM is really bumming me out.

I think that's the perfect time tostart something like that. I mean
it is. I'm just I'm justgonna be like, I'll be fine.
I'm I slept plenty, I'll beokay. But it's just eleven o'clock is
late for me these days. You'rerested and ready. Yeah, yeah,
So how do you think that thestrategy will play? How will you guys

strategize? You know, because you'renot you judging as a group, not
judge you judging individually. And Idon't know if we're gonna have a mic
and like be giving feedback as ithappens. I might just be loud.
I might bring my own speaker.Maybe, I don't know. But you're
gonna have fun. We're gonna havefun. It's gonna be silly and good,

you know, light hearted. Yeah, and you know girl cotgirls and
cocktail dresses and bikinis. So doyou have any idea of how many girls
are in the contest? Let metext and see and what is the prize.
Uh, there's like a cash prize. I'm not sure exactly what it
is. And then you get thetitle, which is the real prize of

Miss around the Corner. And they'vebeen doing it for a while, right,
this is like the fifteenth annual Missaround the Corner. Was my understanding
that this is not the inaugural Imean, this isn't the first time listening.
Yeah, they've been doing it fora while. Well, that'll be
exciting. And unfortunately, since we'reout on Monday, I won't get the

results until Tuesday. I'll really beI can text you if you want.
You know what video text it?Text it to me Monday morning when I
met my dad's anniversary. Yeah,yep. I'll feel my phone vibrate and
I'll look down and mental. I'llgo home and my mom will ask me
what's happening, and I'll say,Bill is texting me the results of Miss

around the Corner. Mom, stopasking me questions. That's not going to
be dad. This is what Dadwould want it. It is not going
to bring it back, mom.If I get this information. Alan,
I work for the company that worksthat owns TJ Max and they're starting to

distribute body care. Oh yeah,did you read about this that people who
are working There's a company that ownsTJ Max and Marshals and they're starting to
distribute body cameras to their employees.And this is kind of a pilot program
to see if other companies pick thisup, because everybody now is a frigging

maniac in public, and so peopleat these stores, especially places with respect
like Tjmax and Marshalls, where itjust looks like the fall a Saigon in
there. It looks like something explodedin every aisle, and so a lot
of these workers are now wearing bodycameras. The security people are definitely wearing

them, but the retail clerks aregoing to start wearing some of them too.
Tjmax, Marshals and Home Goods TJXis the company, and they're going
to be equipping some store employees withbody cameras of course thwart shoplifting, but
also you know, it's very tellingthe order that they put them in to

stop shoplifting and keep our employees safe, because that is very much the order
in which they're thinking of this,right, we don't want our stuff stolen.
Oh and by the way, andour employees and customers safe. It's
a de escalation, said their financechief, where people are less likely to
do something when they're being videotaped.What century is this guy living in,

By the way, people are lesslikely to do something if they're being videotaped.
Yes, people who are operating undernormal societal guidelines might feel that way,
but the people who you're concerned witharen't acting like that. Stores already
have security cameras to catch people stealingstuff. Yeah. I don't think this

is I think there's just going tolead to more viral videos. I mean,
that's what I'm saying. They'll makeup their money that way. Hey
TJX going viral again for the licensethere? Mad Yeah, yeah, all
right, Well there's monetize them onYouTube and Instagram for our purposes. This
is a great development because there's goingto be amazing videos. Thirty five percent

of US retailers last year the NationalRetail Federation UH said that they were looking
into potential body cameras for employees.And you know, unlike the police,
you'll probably get in trouble if youturn yours off. But a lot of
these stores, you know, ina lot of these cities. It's no

joke when people run in with emptygarbage bags and run out full of stuff
and nobody stops them. So thesecompanies are like, yeah, we got
these something. But again, it'sit's kind of what do you expect the
employees to do, Because if they'rewalking around, you know, with a

body camera on, that's fine,but it's not like they're going to intervene.
You're not paying them enough to dealwith that, you know, And
if somebody comes in really looking tocause some trouble, then you're gonna have
everybody running in the opposite direction,so you're not gonna get any video.
One Tjmax retail worker in Florida saidthe body cameras were just for show and

that they certainly didn't make employees feelany safer. Wait, I figured that
that was just assumed. They're like, we've got these security workers, you
know, who have their security veston or whatever, and they've got the
camera on the vest. But youknow, if they go, oh,
barb over in Aisle four, linefour, whatever it is, check out

four, you may out proceed,Yeah proceed, Yeah four is now open.
So I'm very interested to see howthis is going to play out the
retail clerks wearing body cameras, andI was told, going back to miss
around the corner, there are atleast eleven contestants. There's that two possible

there might be thirteen, oh luckynumber. Yeah, so it could be
a couple of wild card cannadates.Yeah. That means there's a couple of
That means there's a couple of lastminute girls. They're begging to do it.
Yeah, yeah, which means they'rethe hottest ones. All right,
Well, fingers crossed for that toall work out. And I work for

a company that provides components for bodycameras. I'm curious to find out if
we're going to get orders from theTjmax company. Now, yeah, you
might, you might. Why doyou think so many people act so ft
upley in public? Now? Well, the pandemic didn't help. Uh,

you know the people I've always beenacting this way. It's just getting filmed
now. Well it's getting filmed now, but there is You can't convince me
that there hasn't been an advance inthe level of aggression that is out there
now. I mean a lot ofpeople forgot how to act in public.
Now again, I don't think listen, I think the bulk of any body

camera retail video you get is gonnabe some Karen screaming. It's not gonna
be somebody walking in there. Youknow, yes, you're were swinging a
knife at people, or it's notgonna be like that. But it's gonna
be a lot of Karen's on camera. Karen on camera. That'll be the
show they'll do on YouTube. They'llspell on both of the k and they'll
put it on YouTube. TJ Maxand Marshalls present Karen on camera and yeah,

I don't know. I mean,I think back to my retail days
and if we had had body cameras, it wouldn't have done anything. Most
of the cameras in the Blockbuster videothat I managed, there were more cameras
on the safe in the manager's officethen there were in the body of the

store to make sure that nobody whohad access to the safe was skim and
slipping a twenty in their pocket beforethey took the deposit down to the bank.
Because you had these you know,these zipper bank bags with a key,
and you'd walk them to the bank, and you had to do it

at a different time. All thetime, so if anybody was paying attention,
they couldn't nail down the fact thatyou were doing it at the same
time and then rob you on thestreet and take your deposit. And I
had to tell assistant managers that I'dbe like, hey, don't go.
If you're making the drop at thebank, don't go the same time every

day, because all somebody's going todo is watch the store and clock when
you're going, and they're going toscoop that right up. So you got
to change it up. And Ihad one girl who just could not get
that through her head. Just couldn'tget it through her head. It was
part of her routine to take thedrop from the night before and take it

to the bank in the morning.She wanted to get I don't know,
she didn't like the most frustrating whenit's like you tell them, I can't
think it again, and I'm justlike, nah, I'm not gonna learn.
I'm not gonna learn, I'm notgonna do it right. Yeah,
I mean listen, that wasn't gonnabe working a Blockbuster video is not going
to be my career either. Butmy thought was, well, some people
were there a long time. Boy, I mean when I when I started

managing my store, I was replacinga guy who had been with the company,
you know since. I mean thisguy was like late forties and he'd
been there since he was a teen. So but my thought is, but
if you're doing this job, uh, you don't want to be on the
hook for like a day's deposit.And I don't know if she didn't want

to wait or what, but shewanted to get there when the bank opened
and it was just a couple ofblocks away, but you were walking,
and I'm like, please mix upthe times that you go and you take
I said, or else I'm goingto have to start doing it and I
don't want to have to do itall the time. That's what you guys

are for to assist me. Hencethe assistant manager part. And this one
girl, it was it was purecoincidence that she never got robbed because she
went the same time every morning whenshe worked. And I'm like, okay,
well, a lot of cameras areto train the AI robots how to

do the employee's job first person view. That's the conspiracy I'm going with.
I got to tell you when itcomes to companies trying to maximize their profits
and minimize their costs. I don'tthink anything like that is a conspiracy at
all. It's all out in frontof us. Yeah, you know,
I was reading this. You haveus doing half the job anyway in most

of these places where we're checking outand doing self check out. I mean
not at like tjmax and stuff,but grocery stores and Target and Walmart.
I was reading an article the otherday on AI assistance, right, this
is how they keep selling AI tous. They're like, Oh, it's
gonna let people, It's gonna freeup so much time. And the CEO

of Zoom, which you know,they had their moment during the pandemic,
and obviously they're still around, butI mean they're not. I guess they're
still being used, not nearly.I mean we use it every day.
Yeah, but the CEO was talkingto one of these tech sites and he
goes, you know, pretty soonwe're gonna have like people have like a

digital twin, and it'll be greatbecause they'll be doing ninety percent of the
work, which will free you up. And I'm like, dude, there's
no situation in which something doing ninetypercent of the work is going to let
you keep your job, because that'swhat they'll go with, Well, it's
doing ninety percent of the work,so we don't need you now. So

that's why people are, you know, getting nervous of that kind of stuff.
So I don't think anything like thatwhen it comes to AI and companies
using it. I don't think anyof that stuff is conspiratorial A Mark,
Yes, what's going on? Uhso yeah, well, Hi, I

used to listen to Rover's Morning Gloryfor like years, but then I got
a job that now I got tobe at work at six am, So
now I listen to you guys whenI get off of work. Yeah,
I love you guys. Hey,thank you great, thank you. Uh
yeah, but uh yeah, likeyou are talking about the hidden cameras and
all stuff, you know, andthe employees. So I worked for this

company and I was sendingbody's door oneday and I saw this guy like running
out the door like real fast,and then I see one of my employees
just running behind him. So ifyou run to the parking lot, you
get fired. So I ran behindhim, thinking that the guy was probably
stealing and the employee was changing afterhim. So I'm like screaming like stop,
stop, you know, don't don'tchase them. So he stops and

he tells me what really happened.So I guess a customer came in and
asked him where the electrical area was, and he pointed, you know,
towards the side where the electrical was. But the guy ended up going to
the pink department and he got madbecause he thought that my employee was,

you know, messing with him.So the guy came back, walked up
to my employee, slapped the phoneout of it. We have these like
phones that you know, we canchange accounts and do different things and find
things. And he just slapped thephone out of his hand, then punched
him in the face and spit onhim and then ran out. Wow.

Yeah, and he ran and myemployee, well, yeah, he got
mad. He we went after him, and my employee he's like one of
those real white ones that I gotalk to anybody real quiet and solved.
Well not only that, but notonly that mark, but because that qualifies
as assault. Yeah yeah. Andthe thing is that in the area he

was in there was no cameras,so because they didn't catch it or anything,
they actually didn't know who knows Igot. I think today is like
a record, It really is.Yes, they're going to get my fingerprint
on the dumb button today. Haveyou ever been impregnated with excitement? Well,

it looks like you're showing Welcome backto your nude daddy, Alan Cox,
the Bill Squire Friday get down straightahead until we begin the weekend to

run these parts. Maybe you're newto the program or are you in for
a tree next week on the show, I will have a lot of tickets
and passes for you to get yourselfinto a variety of exciting situations. The
band switch Foot is doing the twentiethanniversary tour for the album The Beautiful Letdown,

and they will play the House ofBlues around the corner here on October
third. The band Ghost is debutingtheir feature film. It's called Right Here,
Right Now. They shot a coupleof nights at the key of Forum
in LA and they inters there's likea narrative story in it. Metallica tried
this about ten years ago. Itdid a movie called Through the Never and

it was part concert footage and partdude running around and you know, let's
hope that Ghost has a better timeof it. Than Metallica did. But
if you're a ghost fan, Iwill have passes for you for the screening
of that. Also, you wantto join Bill on the Cleveland Funny Bus.
He is your host this coming Wednesday. The next two weeks with us

are sold out. You might stillbe able to get tickets four hour Bus
on the twenty sixth, and that'llbe the last one for the Allen Cock
Show run. You can go toFunnybus dot net. But I will have
take we're out Monday. I'll haveboth of those pair of tickets for you.
On Tuesday. I want to gosee Bert Kreischer. The third annual
Fully Loaded Comedy Festival is a weekfrom Thursday. That's the twentieth at the

Hall of Fame Stadium in Canton.Bert Kreischer, Tony Hinchcliffe, Whitney Cummings,
Ralph Barbosa, I heard Joe Deros'sname in the commercial, Dan Soder
and more. And then Sepultura.They are doing their farewell tour in the
States two hours to midnight, presentingSepultura at the Agora in October with Obituary

and Agnostic Front. Very exciting.Can't wait for that show so that's all
next week. Hey Ricardo, Hey, hell, who are you? Are
you? Man? Good? Good? Is the man? Eight? What's
Ricardo? I just got done cleaningmyself. There's a late seventies early eighties

Porsche at nine eleven Carrera driving downthe street of beautiful red car. I
know you like them, So don'tyou drive a Porsche, Ricardo? I
have one, Yes, I do, yeah, and uh but yeah,
this was beautiful man guards un red. There's two dudes driving it. Combined,
I would have had one hundred andforty and fifty years combined. There

the old dudes driving this thing.Beautiful car. Anyway, So dropping enough
money or picking enough money from thebank in a third world country? You
wanted to fill you in on thatin a third world in case I ever
find myself needing that information, Yes, very much. So. Yeah.
So we had a company growing up. It's twenty something years ago back home

under as we know this and uhso it would either my brother or myself
that would go weekly to go pickup payroll, usually Thursdays or Fridays before
payday whatever. And the way wedid it is that we had an array
of to go containers or paper bagsfrom all sorts of different restaurants around town

that we kept on the drawer.So that day you go to the drawer,
you pick pere poison, you goto the bank, you pull out,
you put it in the on thebag, go through the drive through,
or place an order of the sameestablishment, and you bring lunch to
the office on the same type ofpaper bag of the payroll. You had

to do it. You had todo it, help up exactly. That
was That was what we did foryears and years and years and knocking Wooden.
It never had a problem, butwe hear some stories back then it
was bad. It was really reallybad. So I get I get you
where you come from some figure,I fill you in there. Yeah,
man, we didn't. Yeah,we didn't have to go to those lengths

from the Blockbuster video. But listen, if they ever revived that chain and
they call me and they go,hey, we're opening up in Honduras.
What are your thoughts? Oh,and I'll say, funny you mention it.
When they first all opened. Thisis years ago. Because you know,
franchises and whatnot, there was linesaround the corner to rent movies a

Blockbuster and Hollywood Video. Back home. I'm sure I'm sure it was sliced
bread. Yeah. Well, anyway, you seen a little bit of that.
Love the show, Hate you guys, but have a wonderful week and
a happy Faursday. Thank you,Ricardo Audios. I appreciate it. If
you listen to us on iHeartRadio fromout of state, tell me where you

do that, let me know thatyou're out there as please. In Poulson,
Montana. Zach is in Memphis,Tom is down in Naples, Florida.
Melinda listens to the show in GreenBay, Wisconsin. And Phil is
in Auburn, Alabama. War Eagle. And we have a handful of Canadian
bureau chiefs who've got Ray in Vancouver, Robin and Philler in Toronto. We

don't have anybody in Regina, Saskatchewan. I think that that is Ryan reynolds
hometown, but I don't think he'sthe only notable alumnus from the town of
Regina, Saskatchewan. It's not farfrom the Montana border. I don't know
if any of our Montana Bureau chiefsare close to Regina, but they're in
the news today because of Rob Schneider. Rob did you see the Rob Schneider

story? He got the hook likeat the Apollo Theater, the Sandman would
come out and brush you off.And this just happened to him, And
this is not his fault. RobSchneider keeps getting booed off stage and cut
off in the middle of sets he'sdoing at charity events, and this is

not his fault. These organizations thatdo zero homework and then freak out.
I don't understand. He's not theguy. You know, He's not the
making copies guy anymore. He's notDeuce Bigelow. He's the Fox News comedian.

They love him his stand up specialairs on the whatever their digital platform
is. So this is not aRob Schneider problem. Everyone in the room
was groaning. Somebody said the secondtime this has happened to him. He
keeps getting booked for charity gigs,which that's nice of him to do because
traditionally you don't get paid for those. Maybe he thinks, okay, I

mean, yeah, he wants tomake money, but yeah, a lot
of times you go, I'll donatethis to the organization. The difference a
charity gig you're probably doing for free. A fundraiser, is that what this
was? I think a fundraise.This is charity gala to benefit the Hospitals
of Regina Foundation. Yeah, Iguess is this is a fundrais okay?
Yeah, if it's got the wordgala in it, and he's probably getting

the paid, that's the distinction agala because everybody's in gowns and black tie.
Yes, black tar uh. Thecomedian was roundly booed during his performance.
This is the second time in sixweeks this has happened at a charity
event. He was cut off inthe middle of his set and asked to
leave the stage, which he did. Which he did because he's still getting

paid. Guess what, You getpaid all the money even if you you
know, there are times when youdon't if if they feel like you.
I'm sure he's got a contract.I was gonna say, they might try
to wheeze a lot of it.But that's why you get an iron clad
thing. Hey, if I getbooed off stage, I still get five
thousand dollars. Schneider Gale the fundraiserwith a routine full of anti vax and

anti trans jokes. That's what hedoes. That is what he does now.
Yes, that's why his hour isstreaming on Fox. His his hour
is called woke up in America,right, get it, that woke word.
After the booze and several people walkingout, he was asked to leave
the stage before he could finish hisroutine. People were started whispering to themselves.

No one was laughing. It wasapparent how uncomfortable everybody felt, because
you figure, irrespective of what organizationyou're talking to, you kind of want
to keep it politically neutral for thesekinds of events. Events. Yeah,
trust me, there's a lot ofpeople who are probably like laughing in their

heads right at Rob Schneier in aroom like that, a foundation for a
hospital. There's plenty of people whoare probably in a room like that.
But it's not video of this.I didn't know if there was or not.
No, I just seem I don'tsee a video they had the So

the Hospitals of Regina Foundation have issuedpublic apologies along the lines of everybody's intel
to their opinions. But this isn'treally what we were looking for in this.
But again, this is not aRob Schneider problem. This is an
organization problem for these places that apparentlyaren't digging into what Rob Schneider's current stand

up is I mean, he's knownbecause of SNL and the Sandler movies and
all that. He's a known commodity. But I just can't believe at this
point, you know that they're nothip to what's going on with him.
So and it's like, oh,Rob Schneider, he's whatever. Okay,

that's fine, but it's still yourfault. Right. He might not be
everybody's cup of coffee, but yougotta know who you're booking the book and
his style. Now there is anaudience for that, right him. Jim
Brewer. You know, I thinkthey're funny people, but they're over on
that Fox News thing now, andso they're up whining about trans people and

screaming about woke and you know,all the buzzwords, all the right wing
buzzwords. When he was jeered ata the last one he got kicked off
was a Republican networking event in April. And this is what I'm talking about.
Even if it's a partisan ish room, that's not what they want on

stage because half the room is pretendingthey don't think that stuff's funny, and
the other half doesn't think it's funny. After he lost that last gig,
a couple of months ago, hetweeted that the organization that booked him were
pussies because they didn't laugh at hisKorean whorehouse jokes. Oh god, I

love it anyway. But yeah,if you follow, let's say you are
a Rob Schneider fan, you knowwhat he's about. Now. I don't
know when that turn happens with someartists, or maybe they just hit it
for a long time. I don'tknow when that happens. You know,
his wife is a Latina, whichdoesn't necessarily mean anything, but I mean,

I'm just saying. I mean,he's not a Filipino. Yeah,
it's not like and not everybody youknow who's Latina or Latino that thinks the
same way that they are actually muchmore conservative culturally. But there was a
Mexican family from California that moved toIdaho because they wanted to be around more

conservative and then they moved right backto California because like they're real racist.
Yes, that's why people have theynot seen what's happened in Idaho. Like
people are not doing. This isnot a vacation. They moved, they're
family. They're like, oh,our kids, because I think he's like
Latino and the wife is white orsomething, but they have mixed kids,

and in Idaho, any shade darkerthan eggshell. He's like, oh,
my kids are getting mocked at school, and blah blah blah. It's been
a rough week for Republicans who aren'twhite and straight, just like every other
week for Republicans who aren't white andstraight. In Colorado, all the log
cabin Republicans, I still can't figurethat out. But okay, gay Republicans

are aghast that the state GOP islike, it's time to burn all the
pride flags. So gay Republicans arelike, wait, what they don't like
us? It's that illusion of inclusion. Yeah. So this poor family,
I mean, you know, it'shard to laugh at him, which a

lot of people are doing. They'redunking all over them. But you're still
moving your whole family. Right.We wanted to get out of California to
get away up from all the liberalpolitics. Okay, fine, a lot
of people want to do that.A lot of people moved to Texas for
the same reason, and then theygot there and they go, oh my
god, this is not what I'mlooking for, and they went back to

California. So this family who wentto Idaho. They put this all over
TikTok. Yeah, and you know, and it's the guy's got two little
daughters. I mean, you seewhere they're coming from. They were living
in la and they moved to Idahoin twenty twenty one, and they're like,
yeah, we we had we wouldhave had to have acted a very

different way to stay in Idaho.They were there for three years and they're
like, we're going back home becauseour daughters weren't getting treated well. And
so yeah, I understand people thatmight have more conservative values, but that's
not what people are talking about anymore. They're talking about all this dumb crap

with burning pride flags and things thatdon't affect you at all. In places
like Idaho. I mean, man, there's a lot of like white power
groups and they're dug in, they'reentrenched. I know we have them here,
but you know, Idaho's pretty wild. So yeah, that whole family,

they're like, we're going back tocal going back to Cali, and
hopefully they'll be happier, more expensive. But you know, all that glitters
is not gold. But if you'vegot two little kids and you're like,
yeah, they don't I don't feelgood about them here in school, I

got a break here, Calls Calls. The Bill Squire Friday get Down is
showing up in a minut That's howwe begin the weekend around these parts.
So gird your loins for that oneand we'll be back. Cool Smiling Wow
is an ll cool J in therock Hall Old Black Hols. Because of

this rock music, he does thissound. Who needs broadcasting awards? I
like the sound when you've won WorldSexiest and five years in a row on
seven mm, got the Bill SquireFriday get Down minutes away on Fridays.

That is how we get the weekendunderway. In honor of the late great
Murray. Saul, you're amms.I like to think of it as continuing
a fine tradition that was gone formany years, and then we resurrected it
and foisted it back on to northeastOhio in an actually listenable capacity, much

shorter at least, yes, it'sshorter by about fourteen and a half minutes.
Guardians are in Miami. One ofthe games got rained out in that
Royals run there, so they splitthat series. But they'll play the Marlins
tonight at seven to ten, Soshortly after we get out of here six

forties when that pregame will begin,play them tomorrow night and then Sunday afternoon.
They'll come back up to Cincinnati fora couple of games against the Reds
and then up to Toronto to playthe Blue Jays. They'll be back mid
month to host the Mariners at ProgressiveField. And you hear all the action
of your Cleveland gar aready had aWMMS and the iHeartRadio app. Well,

oh it's gonna burn. Sorry,oh boy, I'll tell you what.
It felt too good to be truewhen I mentioned it the first time around
that among the fifty restaurants that theRed Lobster Company was closing, that not
one of them was in Ohio.It was unbelievable. And yet it has

finally come to our door. Ohno, the Red Lobsters, and I
want to prepare people for the weekend. They might require them changing their plans.
They initially released that list of fortyeight restaurants in twenty one states,

and that's too good to be true. We didn't get Flavor Flav here to
help us out. Yeah no,huhuh nope. The company is based out
of Orlando, and they have.When they were reported their assets, it
was pretty much equal to their liabilities. Although what a range are there?
Reported assets? Between one and tenbillion dollars. Boy, there's a lot

of wig room there. And youknow, boy, when they get into
that forensic accounting, now one ofthese companies are going out of business with
amazing bookkeeping like that, Hey,what are our assets? Eh? I
mean, i'd say between one andten billion dollars. What are our liabilities?
I'd say between one and ten billiondollars. So the closures are finally

coming for Ohio. They have justdropped on, you know, because that
initial spate of restaurants. They go, well, let's see what this does.
It's not like overnight their fortunes aregoing to change, but they get
to fire a lot of people,and that's ultimately what they're looking for,
so that the venture capitalists can youknow, pluck whatever meat is left off
the bones and then leave the wholething for dead. But the new list

of proposed closings includes Ohio. They'relooking at a lot more, well a
lot more restaurants. They're going toclose in a whole bunch of states,
including Ohio. Locally, they're lookingto close the one at South Park Mall

in Strongsville South Park Center, whateverthat is, oh Man that go to
and the one on day Drive therein Parma by the old Parma Town Mall
in that one too. Yeah,those are the two in northeast Ohio.
The other ones are Dayton, Finley, Maumee, New Philly, and Toledo.

So I guess we ducked a bulletfor a little bit. They're also
going to be closing a Red Lobstersthere in the North Hills if you're one
of our Pittsburgh listeners up there onMcKnight Road, South Carolina, North Carolina,
they're closing the Red Lobster in theBronx MM and the one in Times

Square that's on the new list hereis the Times Square Red Lobster, which,
of course I mean has been abeacon for travelers. That's why people
go to New York City Red Lobster, Times Square, Bubba Gump Shrimp Company,
and they're and M's building and ontheir trips. Now they're like,

what's the point to go to NewYork City if you can't go to Red
Lobster. People coming from near andfar to New York City to check out
Red Lobster. They've heard of thefine regional cuisine and they want to taste
it for themselves. Neil Yah sithere and Louisville, and I mean,

we've got a lot of listeners inthese places. Locally, don't really matter
to you if they're going to closeour Red Lobster into Peka, But for
our bureau chiefs in Topeka, that'sa big blow. Michigan City, Indiana,
Cocomo, Indiana. You know,that's what the Beach boys saying about,
was the Red Lobster in Cocomo.Come on, I want to take

you to Bourbonet, Illinois. That'sdownstate. That's where the Bears training camp
is. And Champagne, Illinois.That's where the University of Illinois is.
So those college kids not going tohave Red Lobster to kick around any longer.
I gotta go get some equipment outat Guitar Center, and there is

that's in North Olmstead and there's stilla Red Lobster out there. So maybe
I'll make a little trip of itwhere I go to Red Lobster. Boy,
you better because that one's gonna getthe acts next. I mean,
they don't have much more to cut. So you gotta say it like Dick
though the guitar center. The guitarcenter. Yeah, I went over into
the guitar Center and get some stands, speaker stands. That's right. But

I'll come how about that? Yeahyou will, Bud. So, I
guess we put it off as longas we possibly could. All we had
collectively nothing to do with it.But the company that runs Red Lobster,
of course, because they're based inOrlando, the lion's share of these closers
are in Florida. There's a coupledozen if they want to close in Florida.
But again, there's only so manymore that you can close before they're

all done, and that's probably theendgame. Maybe they were the whole time
they were planning to do this inphases. I don't know. I don't
know what a manageable number of restaurantswould be. So seven of them total
in Ohio. But those are justbased more on which ones are profitable and
which ones are making money. ButI didn't, I wasn't in an impression

that any of them were profitable.They got make it some I guess,
I mean, you know, Idon't know either. So something to consider
I guess, but it's a bravenew world. Oh let me throw this
one, all right. Speaking ofFlorida, a guy who was eating breakfast

with his wife his colon exploded.He had just had abdominal surgery, but
his doctors insisted that he was fine. He was healed up, his incision
was in no danger of causing himany problems, and so he and his

wife were eating breakfast and he coughedand sneezed at the same time. Now,
this has happened to all of usbefore, so you know what that
does there to your core, right, Yeah, but under normal circumstances,
nothing bad is going to happen.This guy, a sixty three year old
guy who had recently had abdominal surgery. This happened to him, and his

colon exploded, causing his intestine tensto exit the wound. He told his
wife that he noticed a wet sensationfollowed by a sharp pain. That's another
beach boy song right in excess wetsensation, wet sensation followed by a shirt

pain. When he lifted his shirtto see what the dilli yo, he
said he saw several inches of bowelsticking out of his wound. He goes,
hey, there's a pancakes, say, hey, look at that.
Hey, here's a fried egg.White day. It's all like, it
doesn't feel good when you sneeze andcough at the same time, because it's

like you want to do one orthe other. You don't want to do
both. But when you do itso bad that it's it's like a super
hernia. Yeah that's it. Ohyeah, what a bad day? A
literal colon blow? How many bowsof your Oat brand cereals will take to
equal the fiber content of one bowlof colon blow? Two? Guess again?

Three? A little higher? Four, keep trying. Five, No,
you'll have to do better than that. Seven, Yes, again,
Eight, we'll give you one more. Guess nine not even close. It
would take over thirty thousand bulls toeat that much. You have to eat

ten bulls a day, every dayfor eight and a half years. Wow,
I think I get the picture.Oh, colon blow, But this
guy wasn't eating high fiber cereal.He was at having a what is that
called the wambam? Thank you,ma'am? The what's the thing called the

Denny's Grand Slam? No, theuh is the Grand Slam? Moon over
my Haammi, there's moon over myhammi. There's grand slam, thinking it
was wambam, thank you ham orsomething. Yeah, So his wife immediately
calls the ambulance. Pair of medicssaid they observed his wound. It was
a three inch opening with large amountsof bowel protruding. This was the if

you are watching the last year,this was the patient case report description.
The right, of course, depictshis incision, but the left was when
the bowel was protrud his intestines weresticking their heads out to see what was
going on. He was immediately rushedto the hospital. When you see the

hospital for that happening in the firstplace, they're like, hey, you're
fine, and then you go notonly was I not fine, would use
Elmer's glue. I mean, surgicalstaples are no small thing, and they
couldn't even hold up against that.He was in the hospital for six days
and then he went home and hewas fine. The rare but serious complication

of surgery is called disembowlment. Youknow what they used to do in the
Middle Ages and the Crusades on purpose. Yeah, so, uh, this
guy. It's not unprecedented, obviously, but they do consider coughing a prominent
risk factor in a situation like this. So you're sitting there and you're just

trying to have some breakfast. Ohhoney, this is good. I'm so
glad that surgery is behind me andI'm healing as I should. And then
a chew and cough and you know, because you can get into a depending
on the situation, you can getinto like a chain of coughs and then

invariably there'll be there'll there'll be i'msorry, a chain of sneezes and then
there'll be a cough in it.Yeah. Yeah, you're coughing and sneezing
all of a sudden, your bouncearound the outside and then going to cost
me. Yeah, of course,he's like check. Yeah, wait,

can we get the check? Arethere? Like a sir, We're gonna
have to ask you to leave.We have a it's not a dress code,
but we do prefer that bowels stateinside your body. Yeah, we
have a non visible bowel policy.Do you imagine she calls out the manager
and she's screaming at the guy andhe's trying to get the ambulance over there,
and she doesn't care. She's likeI need to flip this table.

So man, you guys please takecare of this. Honey, do you
have any cash? He's got onehand, he's holding his bowelsy and she's
going through a purse. I you'llnot be getting a tip from us,
thank you very much. He's like, hey, can we wrap this up
to go? Uh? I needa doggy bag. Yeah, I've already

got I've got bowels hanging with me, but I need a doggy bag.
After he noticed his internal organs werecoming out of his abdomen, he quickly
covered the injury with his shirt andwas going to drive himself to the hospital,
but his wife thought that it mightexacerbate the injury, so she called

nine to one one. That isa perfect well, that is a perfect
snapshot though of a guy and hiswife. A guy goes, I'll just
drive myself. This is fine,honey. Yeah, you don't want to
pay the four thousand dollars or whateverit is for ambulance. Yeah, I'll
just hold my bowels in, howabout that, and I'll get us there.

The ambulance got there in four minutes, and uh, that's probably faster
than they got there. Andres Yeah, they're they're getting they're wheeling him out
in the waitress is just walking upwith her. Who's going to eat all
these hash browns? They said thateven though his shirt was soaked with bodily
fluid, paramedics did notice that therewas minimal bleeding. That's good. Yeah,

listen, that's a glass half full. Never having faced such an injury,
The paramedic was not quite sure whatto do, but she said she
did know that the intestines need tobe kept moist, so she covered them
in saline and wrapped gauze around hisabdomen before taking Well, I'll tell you

what, I don't know what kindof extensive you know. I have a
friend who's a firefighter and an EMT, and they do get extensive training.
But you don't even need that torealize that, Yes, intestines need to
be kept moist. Keep them.They're like turtles. Yeah, hey,
keep them under a heat lamp,you know, keep them, keep them

on the inside, make sure they'remoist. And do you have a spray
bottle back there or anything where they'retransporting whales? They got the yes,
the hose going, yeah, thelittle harness and the hose. Hey,
do you have a tiny harness forsome bowels and ye, yeah, he's
taken a little smucker's jelly things andspreading it to keep I got to keep
these moist all. I've got hisorange juice over here in hot coffee.

But yeah, he went to thehospital. He's there a few days and
no further complications. That's good news. But you're never gonna trust to sneeze
again, no or a fart oranything. I wonder what would have happened
if he had sneezed, coughed andfarted at the same time. Maybe they
would have gone another way. Yeah, he probably would have died. What

happened to Grandpa? You don't wantto know, snarted himself to death?
Yeah, his his bowels came out. Make that his epitaph on his headstone.
All right, you want to startthe we start the weekend? Me
called me brother Day, all right, that's how we get the weekend going

around these parts of Bill Squire Fridayget down in honor of the late Great
Murray Saul here at w MMS takeit away. William's right, got that
gut down onside it? What justthese it? And you're golfee, you

don't want to blow your bows outyour bag. You want to get the
red Lober and celebrate the weekend theright away with all you can eat shrimp
red later, red later, redlobs up. That is not an endorsement,

and I know he's not being paidto say that. By the way,
just get there well you can,that's right, while you still have
an opportunity unless you've recently had majorsurgery. And make sure it's not gonna
blow any bottles out. And nowI must leave you. Is the Brady
bunch is on and I find fourof those children incredibly arousing. Get out

of it. Be careful of whatyou say, Be careful and every way,
be careful of what you do.Big Brother is watching you. Be
circumspect and discreet, stay light onyour mental feet. One slip and you

know you're through. Big Brother iswatching you. And with all narratives,
remember ovidience paid. And when youwatch that davy screens, remember it works
both ways. You disappear in awink. Unless you can double think,

you'll vanish into the blue. BigBrother is watching you.
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