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May 30, 2024 173 mins
The Alan Cox Show
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The Federal Communications Commission has determined thefollowing content to be emotionally harmful. Funny
things that you thinks funny aren't funny. Jimmy Cox all the Time to Allan
Coxshow kicks, Ash Man'll go,welcome. You know me? What you
yeah? I can see a lotof cocks on TV. Allen Cox from

the Allen to Show. I don'tknow what's about you? By Canada it
would be a gray So let's kickcoffee kick and you'll get eight with a
tasty groove. Okay, what dothree tickets take it to? Damn?
Put you one time ticket? What? Allen Cox? Here we go,

He'll add, he'll be trying.It's the Allen Cox Show on one hundred
point seven double U M M asI what's going on? Everybuddy? Good

afternoon, Hi, greetings, that'sgood. My name is Alan Cox.
Thanks for being here. Say hito Bill Squire he's here too, Hey,
creepy hug. Say hi to MarySantora she's there in Midtown Manhattan in

the yo plush plush offices of iHeartin New York, plush blush, gray
box, all by myself. Whatkind of food situation did they have?
There today. Did they have adid they bring in a carving station?
Or well, there's always some kindof food there, some kind of crafty

on site, not that I alwaysknow of, though. I have to
be like passing someone who has aplate of food to find out about it.
Because my request to be put onthe New York City email list has
been denied? Why is that?That's so strange? They won't let me,
They said, I don't work here, but you do work. You
can see me, right, guys, you can see me? Wow?

Yeah, But you are in aparticularly strange situation too. It's not like
they have every studio filled with somebodydoing what you're doing. You know,
there isn't somebody in a booth nextto you who's on a show in Omaha
U. I mean the only reason, and you being so tight with Bobby
Pitts, I figured that just wouldhave been I have a quick change.

I have to pick and choose whento wield my status. And this didn't
seem like for those fights. Okay, so she's like the only one that
he really wanted to do. Honestlythough, the right back to you,
there's free food. You're what didhe say? He said something like,
your request isn't being approved. Holdon, let me see because I asked.

I've asked like once a month sinceI got here. I don't want
to be annoying, you know,And let me see what the easing of
the last one was. Here wego New York City Access, it's loading,
it's loading. I'm not getting approvalto add you. And I said,
do they give you any specific reasonfor denying? I'm not getting approval

to move forward. There's another emailthat goes to the group regarding events at
the entire building and immediate area information. Do you want me to add you
to that? Yeah, that's Imean if it's got the daily daily menu
on it, but it doesn't.That's just what's going on with the building,
the facilities. Hey, we're goingto do a smoke alarm. Yeah,

you can't get friendly with someone likewhat was that dude from Cleveland that
can you just say? Hey,yeah, Elvis Duran's board op that used
to work at Carey Day that hegets an email A ask him to forward
it to me that I'm giving someonea job that doesn't make I wouldn't do
that. It's a it's a forward. It takes too so much did you
do that? If someone that youdid not know was working in our office,

would you forward them an email everysingle day? If I was from
Cleveland, they're from Cleveland. Yeah, no, you would not it would
It takes two seconds before it inan email. Well, maybe I'll ask.
It was Bill's suggestion. I haveto infer that he might be willing
to do that. Mary's the typethat wants to spend all the money before
her she dies so the kids can'thave any I say, pass it along.
I'm very generous like that. Imean, or it's just an annoying

thing to ask someone is so weird, Like I don't understand. You don't
work here. You're like, wellI am. I am physically here.
It's building every single d and forget. And by the way, I work
for the company Homemie. This isone big company that has you know,
clusters in every you know, majorand large market in the country. That's

so silly. The thing is,I can't really argue with it because the
only reason I want to be onthat email list is so that when I
know there's so I know that whenthere's three food of free tickets. No,
I understand, I understand it doesn'tthere's not actually a reason business wise.
You don't want all the nonsense inbetween. No, and that's what
ninety percent of your inbox would beat a sales meeting. Hey, Charlemagne

is going to be in the youknow, yeah, you don't want all
that. But there's got to bea way to be able to get you
food in from it. But isn'tthere just a physical route you can take
when you get there? It's adifferent Really, you don't even have access
and I don't have access to thatfloor. The sales team won't give me
access to that floor again because they'relike, you have no business being here.
You don't even work for New York. We can't physic, we cannot

sell you to a customer, Soyou have no business being on the sales
that's so wild. Yeah, yeah, so I brought a tricky salewe,
but I work for the company.They don't care. They don't their branch.
You can't make me money, right, So we're this you know,
we're one of the clusters that's holdingthis company up. It's true, man,

the Cleveland cluster. We're killing it. It's place prints money in New
York. Better get their head outof their Assious because it's New York City
doesn't mean they're at the top ofthe e. Baby. All I'm saying
is you start letting me to lunchesand hanging out on the sales floor.
All of a sudden, we're doubling, tripling our ratings on Z one hundred
tripling. Wow. And maybe they'reconnected. Maybe they're not sure. Well

yeah, I mean, when you'vegot a morning show that has nineteen people
on it, you know what's onemore? Exactly? Yeah, get into
the mix. I do it.That's so strange, I mean, because
the bottom line is it's the samecompany. And I'm asking it's not like
you're it's not like you're renting studiotime. Maybe what you're an independent producer
or something. You know, Hey, can I please have more emails?

And they're like, no, youcan't. You don't deserve that. You
cannot. Today for lunch, Ibrought a turkey sandwich and watermelon and cucumbers.
I bought a big, juicy,perfect watermelon your shay, and I
cut the whole thing up. Wait, you brought a whole watermelon to work?
I bought one yesterday and cut itup and then packed just swall.

How do you do that cubit balland slice it? What do you do?
Yeah? Cube so that it's easilytransportable. Okay, but you don't
have a melon baller. I donot have a metals are fun too?
Uh? It could be sure?Yeah, maybe I'll get a melon ball.
I've got a Pyrex container full ofbald candle. Open my refrigerator right
now. There you go. Now, the only thing is you got to
eat it fast, because that stuffdoesn't hang around for too long. Well,

both of my are a little slimy. My roommate and I love watermelon.
So that thing she gets back todayshe's been out of town. That'll
be two days. Good for you. Now, will you have eaten all
of her watermelon? Did you buyit for the both of you? I
did? It was like five bucks. It was on sale for five ninety
nine, So I was like,we'll go through a watermelon in a couple

of days. So this is ahouse melon house melon. Yeah. And
by the way, let's not gopast the fact that we have all gotten
used to Oh my god, it'son sale for six dollars. Yeah,
where's watermelons used to be like twobucks? Maybe bucks? Seventy five,
and it's not even like the normalbig sized watermelon. It's like, it's
not the baby little ones. It'slike a medium size for dollars. But

again, it's only two of useating it. It's not like I'm trying
to take it to a picnic.Get twenty people. Remember they were trying
to foist square watermelons on us backin the day. They're like, Bolly's
are great. They just kind ofmanufacture them so that they would fit into
people's refrigerator doors or whatever. I'mlike, I think most people are cutting
these up as soon as they getthem home. Who's keeping a whole watermelon

in their refrigerator until it's time toeat. It's messy, yeah, to
cut up a whole watermelon, Butthe pre slice stuff like that one little
containers like three fifty, So I'mlike, I might as well buy the
whole thing cut it up myself.Watermelon and blue cheese are two things that
I turned a corner on as anadult because I couldn't stand watermelon as a
kid, and I certainly didn't likeblue cheese. But as I became an

adult, I was like, well, he's okay, he's pretty good.
And I don't know, I can'tattribute that to anything, but watermelon's pretty
good. The grocery store by myhouse has a heavy Mediterranean influence on it.
So the deli has a ton oflike they have grape leaves and thirty
different kinds of olives and fresh fetacheese. And the smallest amount that you

can get the feta cheese in isa half pound, which is a ton
of cheese. And like I waslike, I just want like a square
of it just to use for ameal or two. So I've had this
block of cheese for like a week, and last night I put it in
with some watermelon and cucumbers and fetacheese and balsamic and no, it's really
good. So I'll know you're gettingyou get crazy. And then today you

turned that into a sandwich. No, today is just a turkey sandwich,
a watermelon, cucumber, then asandwich. No, not you. I
would listen anything that can be asalad, put it between two pieces of
bread and it's a sandwich. We'vehad this conversation that's a wet sead.
Well, nevertheless, some people likea wet sandwich. Everybody's trying to get

me eat a Polish boy. That'sa wet sandwich. That's all that is.
Note and I will eat one watermelonand cucumber and lemon juice. Well,
there are degrees of liquidity, butwe're talking about a wet sandwich.
That's a wet sandwich. Someone's gotchili and coleslaw on it. Yeah,
that's gonna be a wet sandwich.But it's amazing. Yeah. If you

find yourself breathless with constant laughter,congratulations. Now could you tell oz what
show you're listening to? It soundsfun. This is the Allen Cox Show.

Three to send me a text.If you listen to us on iHeartRadio,
you can leave messages there voicemails too, and not able to call us
live boy. The Guardian's comeback stronglast night in Denver. They didn't take
that first game, lying down againstthe Rockies thirteen to seven. I guess

they got acclimated to that mile highair. Oh yeah, thirteen to seven
was the final last night. Theywill wrap that series tonight, same star
time. Eight forty is your firstpitch against the Rockies and then the Guardians
will come home. They've got theNationals and the Royals on deck. For
the homestretch of Progressive Field, andthen they'll hit the road to play Miami.

They'll get the Cincinnati, they goup to Toronto, and on and
on and on. This Saturday night. By the way, I saw billboard
on the way into work this morning. It's Stephen Kuwan Jersey Night. The
first I don't know the first howmany people is that? What it is?

Tenth three, fifteen thousand fans iswhat this says. Now, are
they all excels? Yeah? Usuallyusually, I mean, aren't these primarily
for kids? No? No,they're for grown ups. Okay, the
Stephen Quan Jersey is that's their promotionfor Saturday's game, and then two dollars

pre game in the district from twoto four. And then Sunday. Oh,
Sunday is Kid's fun Day every Sunday. Is that what it is?
Where the kids run the bases?Yes, usually this isn't. I'm not
spoiling a surprise for Father's Day.I already gave it to him. I
got Brian one of those six packgame things for the Guardians. Oh yeah,

yeah, so you basically you choosejust any six games and he gets
his daughter on weekend. So Iloaded him up with Sunday games and I
was like, she can around thebases every time and think you know what
I mean. And he's like,yeah, this is so cool. I
love kid's Day. This is thebest because then she only they have that
whole family deck of you open upthere that like you can see the game,

but there's like an indoor play placeand all that stuff where it's like,
yeah, this is just something forthe kids to go running around until
they actually get to go on tothe field because it's good for like a
couple innings of actually watching it.Now. I did probably two or three
innings before it's time to go fora walk and see what else is going
on. Well, I know overthe course of the summer we will get

to more because it's kind of inour backyard. It's right in our neck
of the woods. We'll get toa couple of Lake Erie Crusher's games.
Yeah, out there in Avon,right, and they're always doing that kind
of stuff. If we're in townfor the Fourth of July, be out
there because you know, it's likeus and all of our parent friends and
the kids and we can all hangout and we can drink and the kids
can run around or whatever. Butthey, of course they have the running

the bases. And yesterday at school, my second grader, they had baseball
Day and they were like, oh, you know, because it's the last
couple of days of second grade.Her last day in the second grade is
tomorrow, and so yesterday her schoolhad baseball Day where they're like, oh,
wear your favorite baseball T shirt orwhatever. Well, she didn't have
a baseball T shirt, so shewore one of the WMMS baseball jerseys.

Right, And so they had theI guess conversations about this and themes and
whatever, and everybody talked about whattheir favorite part of baseball was. And
my daughter's response was the dancing.Yeah, because she associates baseball with like,
right, dancing or running around thebases or whatever, and you could

do worse than that. Yeah,I think they should have adult run the
bases night. What the kids getthe adults run the bases during the game.
It's just the ones that got toearn it to play. Well.
The kids didn't earn anything. Theydo. Kids have to earn things too,

not running around the bases. Butno, of course I know the
play. I'm talking about people whoaren't professional base runners. Pull some names
out of a hat, put aput a little ticket with a seat number
inside a sugardale hot and if youbite, I mean you bite into and

the hell is this and you'll pullit out. I mean most people are
going to bite right past it andswallow it. But for that rare individual
who stops and says, what's thisand pulls out a little paper ticket,
you know, like the size ofa fortune in a fortune cookie, and
it says, get a fortune,get in line to run the bases,

and you go, hey, cool, you know you get fifteen twenty people
out there, that'd be great.Do it during the seventh inning stretch.
No, that's oh no, hateight races in the fifth between fifth and
sixth, that's separate. That's thoseare the people in hot dog costumes.
I'm talking about grown ups who gota ticket in their wiener. Did they
get to run the bases? Whyshould kids? I mean, ours is

a culture that is underpinned by stuntedadolescents. Right, So you got tons
of people who can't let go oftheir childhoods. So let them give something
to hang their hat on, Letthem run the bases. Put them on
the jumbo tron whatever. Why shouldthe kids have all the fun? Like

at Atlanta Braves games, they havethe Freeze come out and you have to
try, and they get one personto get a huge head start, and
then what's the freeze? The freezeis a guy that just is really really
fast and they give the a regularperson a huge head start and then he'll
run them down and beat him ina race. It's pretty Uh, it's

pretty fun. Yeah, well,why don't we have something like that?
We have the hot dog races.They don't have hot dog races. No,
that's in place of the hot dograce. That's their version. Yeah,
I see what is Mustard up torecently? I know, for a
while, I'm sorry, no onecares. Well, I mean, you
don't care. They've been out oftown, so I don't think so they
bent, okay, so he'll he'llget back to dominating the hot Dogs travel

with them. No, yes,it's a home team. All right,
Well take that on the road though. All right, Colorado Rockies fans,
here's Cleveland's hot Dogs. Why not? I mean, you know they've got
their own thing. You know,we could have visiting teams come in.
Don't you think Guardians fans would loveto see the freeze. Yeah, a

progressive feel to be fun. I'mjust out there for the fun. Everybody
should be having fun. You Usuallythe teams don't want to pay for more
people to travel. Oh I see, well though, they'd have to pay
their own way. Oh okay,but that's when like, yeah, you
get what you get. You know, they get on spirit or something they
come up here and you know,and they'd have to I mean really well,
they'd have to pay for fifty fivesixty plane tickets in a season.

I mean, you know, themany many. Hey, when Mary's roommate
gets back, should be having avery uncomfortable conversation with Mary about the d
M that Ice Center talking about Marytalking all things cramp on her about the
on the radio. What a coolguy? What's happening? Can we just

have fun? Dude? What doyou what are you trying to catch people?
I don't understand what's happening, becausethis isn't the first time this has
happened, that not even about likeradio stuff. Like people have messaged her
and been like like she posted meon her story and got like two different
messages from different people who are listeningsto the show, being like Mary's a

piece of crap and you're gonna regretliving with her, Like just wait till
she reason it really is. AndI'm like, you guys don't understand,
like you're trying to upset me,but this has nothing to do with her,
like like dming my roommate and tryingto mess up her day. What
is the point of that, stupid, because they're trying to get to me,
they're trying to make me mad,be aggravated, and trying to complicate

my life because people don't like me. Dude, Okay, fine, that's
I take that as written, Butwhat is the point of the extra step?
I don't understand what this is?What is this? And and and
I don't know but then and thenwhat this dude dms allegedly unless he's goofing,

But well I believe it because wealready had like four or five people
DM her about what a piece oftrash have fun. It's ridiculous. It's
ridiculous, like unwarranted, not eventalking about her on air, nothing like
that. People will message her andshe's shown him to be like what is
this? And I'm like, peopleare crazy? Just leave her alone.
It's I mean, they The onlything I can come up with is that

it's because they don't like me,not only that anything else. Well.
What pisses me off though, becauseit's happened to me over the course of
my career is there never, firstoff, just the intent of trying to
do whatever, be a flying theointment. Fine, but it's never That's
never all it is because they alwayshave to add on. They're like their
own little flourish because they don't everreally pay attention to what people are actually

saying. They got to add onsomething else. I remember years ago my
ex wife goes, so, Iguess she had some like really good friend
or something who lives in Medina.I don't know this person, right and
so, years ago my ex wifegoes, well, so and so told
me that you were just shred meon the air. I go, first
of all, I have never saidanything untoward about you on the air.

You're the mother of my children,you're my ex wife, I said,
I'm sure I was recounting some kindof anecdote about probably when we were married,
one of these drag out fights wehad. I'm like, but what
is the point of this? Idon't know. I don't understand the point
parent of social relationships because I'm sure, yeah, but that's usually when you

really like someone things, they knowyou and they want to be your friend.
Well it might, I don't know. That's because that term is usually
for like when someone comes up toyou is like, hey, how was
your son's birthday party? And you'relike, that's a weird thing for Swifties
who want to murder somebody because theysaid something bad about Taylor Swift. I
don't get it. The hater's goingto hate, hate, hate, listen.

That's all. It's all part ofthe equation. But I thought,
as always, why involve other people? Nobody does anything for no reason,
So what is the reason for thatfor us to talk about it to get
a rise out of me? Idon't see. My thing is like,
sure, say all the crap youwant to about me, DM me,
post about me, whatever you wantto do about me. Fine, there's

a reason to bring other people intoit. By the way, your room.
What people fail to realize is yourroommate is another person in showbiz.
Right, They're not an accountant,right, who doesn't know how any of
this works. So the most likelyend result is that the two of you
are going to have a laugh overit. They're ridiculous. I don't understand
ittely ridiculous. I get people notliking you, are not liking me,

you're not liking Bill. I don'tunderstand that. Like me, I don't
understand that part of it, thelike I d m'd your roommate. What
that's weird? What? What's thefirst person? It won't be the last.
Roh. And also, my roommate'shot. She's like, so,
I don't know. I mean it'shey, I think she's pretty hot.

She's tiny, she's fit, sheworks all the time, and so my
thing is like Mary, yeah,I'm sorry, I'm more of a safety
oh sexual, thank you very much. By the way, tiny and fit
is not equal hot. I thinkshe's very pretty. That means nice from
the neck down. My point isit's never been a woman who has DM
my roommate and been like, letme look out for you. It's always

these weird oh listeners that we havethat are like, I don't know,
trying to start problems or whatever they'redoing. And I'm like, I'm not
one hundred percent sure there's not aulterior motive there where. They're like,
maybe if I can get her torespond to me, you know what I
mean, like a word I don'talso venture to say, it's not going
to start a problem. No,not at all. Right, she's gonna,
I mean she has it will nothave the intended effect. No,

she has twice as many followers asI do. And how many of her
followers message do you have been like, here's what Sarah was saying. Sarah's
a piece of tree ish. Shealso doesn't have a platform that she's on
twenty five hours away. We justtalking, you know what I mean.
But what I'm saying is is thatshe's not foreign to people commenting mean things
or saying things for no reason otherthan to be hurtful or whatever. Hmm,

well it's very hazy. Mary saidyou don't clean the tub, and
I'm like yeah, and she doesn't. And I'm trying to be like,
yeah, well I'm gonna talk toyou about that. And that's the thing
too, Is it like I didn'tsay anything that wasn't true. I wasn't
like she's such a terrible perse Ihated, Right, she's an ass.
She just all she does is layaround, Like I wasn't talking crap.
I was talking about me cleaning theapartment. People are crazy, dude.

Yeah, I mean, and thephrase that I'm really tired of, by
the way, when people talk aboutyou know, haters or whatever is they
go, you're just sitting in theirmom's basement. No they're not. These
are people walking around with jobs andlives and families, and they've got nice
cars, some of them, andthey're on their phone. They're not yea,

one's their mom's basement anymore. Iknow that's trying to slag people who
kind of have that mindset, butbut it's not. It's not that.
My roommate actually, like last weekor two weeks ago, we were talking,
some dude left just a horrible commenton one of her videos, just
just like picking her body apart.She has a really nice body. And
then she goes to his page andit's like him with his daughters, and

she sent him a dmon was like, I really hope that your daughters don't
see the kind of comments you're leavingon women's internet, women's pages that you're
going to and trying to bring themdown like you and not that you need
daughters to realize that but like,hey man, what are you doing?
I don't know? People are crazy? Well, and also nine times out

of ten, and I imagine ifyou get any of us on a good
day, if you engage with someoneand you go, hey, everything,
okay, what's going on? Ninetimes out of ten they'll go, yeah,
it's having a bad day whatever,right, and they come back around.
But it's like, why does thathave to be on me? Right,
We'll make you feel better. There'sa lot of people they like to

lash out rather than not get it. But within I don't look within.
Well, introspection is overrated. Butstill it's so strange someone that's never done
it. Well, I don't knowwhat these people are doing. But I'm
like, what is your end goalhere? To me? But it is
not going to But it's not good. This isn't the fifth grade. It's

not going to get you in trouble. This is not a person who's in
an authority. This is not anauthority figure to you. I mean,
have people ever had roommates before?If you have a roommate that you genuinely
don't get along with, you justyou just you split the rent, You
don't talk. Very strange, Allen, I have a parasocial relationship with all

of you and would totally be bestbuds with any of you. Well,
that's the other side of that coin. I mean that's fine, but oh
yeah you think so, prove it. Come see me at Impostors on Saturday
at nine thirty and we'll see ifwe become best friends after all. Yeah,
do you really worry your best friendsfly to Austin? Go? Yeah,

both friends. My best friend wouldshow up to Austin to support me.
Oh boys, also comedy in aplace called Impostors. That's slacks,
Imposters Comedy Theater. Yeah, it'sa little black box theater. It's real,
real great place. All right.I was gonna say, uh,
you guess also have real high hopesfor how interesting we are. By the

way, like, yeah, we'reon the air here trying to be like
the amplified version of ourselves by hangingout with me. Is you know?
It's all right? Like I'm notgonna like I get uh you know,
I get my fill of social justjust hanging out with people. And I'm
like, all right, I'm goinghome, Like I'll leave at the drop
of a hat. And all myfriends know that that may be all they

want. Well, you know,just because somebody wants to be best man
doesn't mean that they hang out allthe time. What the other thing is
is like, if you're doing thisyour calm peoples roommates, you're sending messages
to my sister, whatever you're doingright, When people do that, it's
like, I guess I just don'tunderstand how you think you, as a

stranger, are going to have moreinfluence over my life than I will.
And also, I've never done anythingto you. You have, but I
have it in their head that onthis show, just by existing, I've
never met that I've never spoken toin real life as far as I know.
And they're like, like, whyare you trying to cause problems?
I've never like, I never Ididn't kiss your wife. I didn't you

know, run over your dog.How about that? It's just so weird
to have such a dislike for someoneyou've literally never met, who's never done
anything to you. Maybe you didkiss that Guy's why, I don't know.
Yeah, that's it. Then that'sunderstandable. He's just now getting to

it. Yeah, it's so strangeto me, so strange. Maybe it's
because we've been on the other sideof it for so long that it seems
so strange. But boy, Ican't imagine a scenario in which I was
working some square job and I wasjust flaming people on social media. Just
does it? Some people love noNo, I know they do. I

know, I know. I gota reaction out of them that makes me
feel I know their heart grows threesizes if they're trying to make other people
upset. But there's this other guy. I do. I understand that that
is a phenomenon, but boy,I don't get it. There's a guy
who absolutely hates me on Instagram.And I'm assuming it's a guy. I
just assume that all of these peopleare men. But he continues to follow

you, doesn't follow me, butcomments on all my crap, And I'm
like, do you know what thismeans? This means you're seeking it out.
If you don't follow me, goingyou are purposely. So I take
that thing with Nate Bargozzi last year, right, and he posted a clip
from it like two days ago,and it shows up on both mine and
Nate's page. So I would understandif you're following Nate Bargozzi, then then

I would show up on his page, and then you'd be like I didn't
want to see this or whatever thisguy's going in, like Nate's a fraud,
he supports family friendly comedy. Butthen this this bitch brags about driving
me drunk and like commenting all thiscrap on Nate's and mine's video and like
calling out Nate for being a pieceof crap for supporting me in a way

of putting out a ten minute setthat I did, And I'm like,
dude, this is this is likethis seems unhinged to me. I got
a guy like that that commented onmy story about Eisa him coming on his
trans like, why don't you writesome new material? All I ever see
is this. I'm like, Ihaven't posted this is a clip in over.
It's been like eighteen month on sincelast time I posted that clip.

Yeah, you are seeing it becauseyou are going to it, or you
are following people that share it,or people are reposting it, Like that's
not the only thing that I post, So you are just hyper focused on
this aspect of my life and noneof the other stuff that I post because
I haven't posted that clip in along time. A different version is completely

Mary but it reminded me when yousaid Nate Bargatzi and family friendly stuff.
You know, because of all thesestreaming mergers now like Disney and Hulu and
all that, they're all one thing. So we were clicking on Disney the
other night, and it's all likea lot of it now is content ingested
from Hulu. Yeah, now youcan get it at either place, so
it's like, you know, there'slike Mahana and then like murdered documentaries on

Disney, like, oh, hey, one place for do you want to
watch the Simpsons or do you wantto watch this guy who appeals nurses faces
off because it's all on Disney Plus. Hey kind of well, it's there,
go find it. You can getit on Hulu and you can get
on Disney Plus. But yeah,I mean, if you guys could leave

other people out of it, that'dbe great. It's just I had like
people uh DMX girlfriends when we weredating and be like, you're the loser.
You wait, they were your exeswell like when I was dating them.
Ah, they would like are currentlyyeah, and these are guys like

that didn't have anything to do withand just on you. They already know
that listen, they don't think aboutme in spite of that. That's right
to get onto your skin. Theofficial show of those weirdos who ride shotgun
with their bare feet on the dashboard. You'd though, but let's do this

ms. I was talking about lastweek. Maybe that Lollapalooza documentary. If

you haven't seen it, is awesome. It's only three parts. Get through
it pretty quickly. How long arethe episode? About an hour? Our
piece? Okay, yeah, it'sgreat. Sounds like a good viewing on
Friday and Saturday. Yep, it'sover there on Paramount Plus. And I
don't know if one thing has todo with another, but Jane's addiction is

announced a reunion tour, then Icome in here. You'll have to try,
but it sounds pretty cool. Youknow, they try this every fifteen
years or so with the classic lineup, So Perry Ferrell, Dave Navarro,
Eric Avery playing the bass, StephenPerkins one of the great underrated drummers in

rock and roll. Stephen Perkins.He's in a great documentary about drummers called
Count Me In. But a lotof the you know, Eric Avery and
Perry Ferrell in particular, would alwaysend up at each other's throats because that
band is kind of very much thePerry Ferrell Show. But they're gonna try
it again. They're going out withLove and Rockets. Remember Loving Rockets?
No, No, remember them?So Alive was one of the big hit

songs. It was the guys whenPeter Murphy left Bauhause, or rather the
band broke up and he went offinto the solo thing. The other three
guys started a band for a littlebit called Tones on Tail if anybody remembers
them, and they had like oneor two hits, and then they started
a band called Love and Rockets.It was named after the comic book and

hold On because it's a pretty goodsong. It was in movies and stuff.
But this is probably nineteen eighty five, so a little too far back
for you guys. But I don'tknow what if these guys are reuniting or
if they've been out there doing stuff, But it's it's Daniel Ash and it's
the other guys from Bauhaus. SoJane's addiction and Love and Rockets are going

out. You never heard so Alive? Yeah, every guys up in the
jasike. This is a very genX song. It's probably nineteen eighty five,
I guess, and it shows upin kind of your standard John Hughes
type movies occasionally. But they're openingthe James Reunion tour, and you know,

for for the outside influence that theywould have on what would become goth
rock, Bauhaus was really only aroundfor a few years. People who like
that genre really laser focused on Bajaus, but they were they were only together
for a few years before they allwent on to do other things. So

anyway, in conjunction with that Lollapaloozadocumentary, again, I don't know.
I know Dave Navarro had long COVIDfor the past couple of years. Like
Dave Navarro was laid the f up, so maybe I have to assume he's
okay now. And they thought itlooks like the stars are aligning, you
know, So they're going to takethe classic lineup out all the original members

of Jane Addiction, and they'll goout and they'll do twenty three cities,
so you will have to travel.I think the tickets for the entire tour
are on sale and there are avariety of packages if you want to drop
some coin to meet those guys.You can do that, but you will
have to travel if you want tosee them, you'll have to go to
Chicago, Milwaukee, Detroit, orToronto all those third week of September.

So they'll start at August ninth.They'll wrap it up end of September,
so they're only going out for maybeeight or nine weeks. But that's pretty
cool. I like those guys.I said Jaine's Addiction with Foo Fighters twenty
years ago. That was the onetime I ever saw them, and it
was pretty good. I don't recallif that was the original lineup or not,

but again, every you know,two thousand and seven, two thousand
and eight, they tried to getthe band back together literally and I don't
think that lasted very long. Butthey're going to try it again. Do
you guys see the Apparently I wasreading the thing. They were like,
hey, cops are still trying tofind out who was doing Fast and Furious
Playhouse Square Drift, Ye, thefire under the chandelier and then we're Tokyo

Drift and they're doing donuts around thethe I'm from cl Twitter account posted this
from a couple of different angles.It says we got to do better Cleveland.
I'm like, how the hell areyou going to do better than that?
That's awesome? Yeah, we gottado better. Be like, yeah,
I do better. But like that'spretty rad. See the first frame

at street level, there's a giantring of fire, and then somebody shot
it from one of the apartments aboveand there's no fun fire. That's a
braf person. The coolest guy,the coolest guy. Yeah, he's just
standing there in a ring of firewhere a car's and there's people at the
red light just waiting for this thingto You know, again, you're always

in somebody else's show, now,you know, people just out there doing
bits. But Cleveland Police Department haveno idea who that is. It probably
took the plates off the car beforehand. You get a plan for something like
that. Just follow the smell ofyou know, the gasoline. Well I

was gonna say, poon te,it's not the smell of you know them
ladies are so turned out? Ohwell, I don't know, aren't you.
Well I'm turned on by watching this. That's rad dry. This could
have been Bill in his car.He's got a big old muscle car.
He could have been doing donuts underneathmine, underneath the Well, it's up

to the driver whether or not thecar does. My mine's an all wheel
drive, yeah, man or automatic? Yeah, not exactly drift material.
I bet you could. You couldstill manage some donuts in that car.
They have not made any arrests.They're asking for the public's help in identifying
the culprits. So if you wantto be out there snitching, feel free

to tell the popo who this is. But I would say theyn't do that.
Right here, trying to fun.Nobody got hurt. This isn't the
ground floor of a bank exploding,right, Yes, Okay, so there's
a there's a giant ring of openflame, but it was more theatrical than

dangerous. Clearly they extinguished it prettyquickly. Everyone's fine, relax. In
a short press conference over Zoom,Sergeant Freddie Diaz from Cleveland Police said that
they need Cleveland's help providing names forthose involved in a string of defiant drifting

events. Of course, those ofus in the game, we call those
DDAs, two of which we're recordedthis weekend. Yeah, this happened about
two in the morning on Sunday.I saw it on the I'm from Cleveland
Twitter feed. Monday morning, blockingthe intersection of East fourteenth and Euclid.

I'll tell you what that east Side, it's popping off, just like that
pens like they say, east Side'spopping off literally out front of Justin Bibbs's
window and not an officer insight.Strange. Somebody said, yes, strange
that the mayor was not filming outsidehis window till two thirty in the morning,

So weird. What a hot take. It's not a man of the
people, you know. Well,listen, I think it's pretty cool.
I'm just in it for the lulls. Man. I've decided that I love
it that kind of stuff, becausenobody's getting hurt. People are waiting patiently

at the red light. You know, if you're out at two thirty in
the morning, you're not trying toget anywhere in a hurry. You've got
time. You don't have to beat anywhere important. And so of course
people are clutching their pearls over itbeing allowed to happen in the first place.
But what do you mean allowed tohappen? It comes out of nowhere,

and you know, and it happenedin like a minute and then was
done and they are gone Yeah,you get in and get out. That's
what you do. You don't belaborthe point. It's not a city sanctioned
event. You're just doing it tofilm it and post it. Am burnout,
You know what a total embarrassment forthe city of Cleveland. Somebody else

said yes, please, because wehave so many other things that keep us
on that pedestal and the world.That's awesome. I can't of course,
now anybody that didn't destroy anything.They just made a cool video. Now
that is let's let's give a creditwhere cards due. That is one hundred
percent luck that nothing bad happened.Well, we'll take it, We will

take it luck. Yeah, wherewere the police? Maybe you haven't heard.
Cleveland is down to like eleven cops, all right, so I'm sure
they were doing something much more important. Are they pulling over black guys because
they have a tail light out?So, but again I didn't get to
do my pre show constitutional. Iwas going to walk down there today and

see if there was a whole bunchof burn rubber underneath the uh, the
chandelier. Hey listen, think ofall the people, you know, you
hear us crowing about the chandelier,and they can't get enough of saying how
Cleveland has the second biggest theater districtwherever the hell that means, by square

feet, whatever it is. Andthen someone puts on a show. Yes,
I'm even mad about it. Thisis a free show under the chandelier.
Think of all the people who can'tafford tickets to any of the amazing
shows at the amazing theaters at PlayhouseSquare right down the street from us here.
Those not everybody can afford those tickets. Here's a free show now.

Granted not prime time, this isat about two forty am, but come
on, a little open flame.Never heard anyone? Uh So, who
knows what will happen? I imaginethat they'll probably uh somebody will snitch them
out, somebody will run them out. But think of all the people who

didn't know that Cleveland had a chandelier. And now they see this because it
went viral, obviously, and theygo, hey, look at that.
Now, think of the people whocome to Cleveland expecting that that's like a
nightly thing, like the fountains atthe Ballagioeople, Hey, when's the when's
the Tokyo drift fire show happening?So they're looking into it. Social media,

they point out, is littered withvideos of mostly teenagers engaging in joy
riding because of the Kia Boys phenomena, Well that wasn't a Kia it was
not. Nope, it would havegot and stolen. Mid spin, the

Cleveland Police said they couldn't confirm whetherthe Playhouse Square Drifters were in fact teenagers.
I got to tell you, aPlayhouse Square Drifters sounds like an a
cappella group doing the fifties music atone of these theaters, like the sound
of Matinee boom, the Playhouse SquareDrifters. Pay these dudes sanction it go

you know what you're doing? Yeah, you know you're doing. Nobody got
hurt. That's great. Something elseof vehicular that I like a lot is
a dude who zoomed in to histraffic court hearing for his suspended driver's license

while driving. This guy the judgeslike it like on a zoom call,
Yeah, on a zoom call onhis phone in the car drive thing,
and they go wait what, Likethe judge is trying to get clarification here
from the lawyer and the guy justhis like stone face, like wait are
you mister Harris are you driving,Ashley. I'm pulling into my doctor's office

actually in Detroit. So I'll justgive me one second. I'm parking right
now. The judge is like,really, you're stationary. I'm pulling in
right now. As the second,Yes, I am sorry right here on
her We are specially requesting in aGerman in this matter up possibly twenty four

weeks at the court would allow.Okay. So that's Judge Cedric Simpson.
And if you know anything about Detroit, Judge Cedric Simpson, he don't take
no shrimp stand something. This isthe driving one license suspended. That is
correct. You run and he wasjust driving and he didn't have a license.

Oh he's no. I'm looking athis record. He doesn't have a
license. He's suspended and he's justdriving. That is correct, your inner.
He's speechless. They're like hello,uh one mine, mister Harris.

The judges like, what the hell'sgoing on here? So defendant's bond is
revoked in this manner, defendant hasturned himself into the Washington kind of deal.
By six pm. Oh, yougot to turn yourself in. See
that's when you protect I guess itwouldn't do any good to pretend that you
froze, but saw you driving.Yeah, they saw you driving. But
the guy was so speechless it lookedlike he frow on his phone. All

right, bond is revoked. Turningonce you get out of your doctor's office,
turn yourself into the Washington County Sheriff'sdepartment or whatever. Man, that's
wild. Excuse me, sir,are you driving? This is this is
your hearing for your God. Haveyou ever been I don't do a ton

of FaceTime, but have you everbeen on a zoom call or a FaceTime
or something and you pretended you werefrozen to get out of it? No
to that one time. It's thebest. I wish more people were doing
that my internet. Haven't you justtalking? You your mouth opener, You
might be mid gesture, they gohello, Yeah, it works like a

charm works every time. Don't getmerry ideas. This is how she's gonna
get out of doing the show.Camera. Well, she's on a delay.
She's fine. Lighter backpack. Mybackpack is four hundred pounds today.
In addition quarters in Oh god,did you get all your quarters for bonus?

Because that's my Instagram story. Didyou get one hundred and one quarters
you had to get. Well,it's up to one hundred and six now,
so I got one hundred and tendollars. It's so heavy, it's
so many quarters. Oh but yeah, I'm telling you man, it's like
ten pounds of quarters. But yep, I got him. They're in my
backpack. Ready to go, andyou go right from the show. I'm

gonna I got to stop home toget my laundry. Yeah, and then
yeah, I'll probably probably be thereby seven thirty. Do you have any
spots tonight? No, So yougo home, get your laundry, laundry
and all night and then yeah,what time is Bonus Hole Live? Well,
I wanted to be by eight becauseit's gonna be cutting it close,

but I want to have time toactually dry my close and do it at
the same time. So I wantto get to the laundromp by seven thirty,
which is it's gonna be tough,but I'm gonna try. Well,
I gotta watch tonight, come,yes, watch yeah a Bonus Hole life
around around eight o'clock, seven thirty, eight o'clock, I'll go live and
we'll do Bonus Hole. It's soridiculous. I love it. But yeah,

backpacks extra extra heavy today. Wow, because Bill's got me on camera,
idiot. And then also one hundredand one dollars in bonesole What it's
heavier? Oh because of your lapmy laptop as what we were saying,
have you ever frozen to get outof it? And I was like,
I wish I would wouldn't have tobring the laptop every day. Yeah,
but compare to everything else, yourlaptop can't. That's not responsible for the

bulk of the weight in your backpack. I'm telling you, dude, I
don't know why my backpack is soheahy, just say you got a stainless
steel laptop like laptop are Like,That's what I'm saying. It's like the
size of a legal pad. Nowlaptops, I have my headphones, my
notebook, Oh god, I'm tryingto do these quarters are so friggin' heavy,
dude. You could barely drag herpurse, not my purse, my

notebook, my wallet, my uhuh laptop like sleeve to protect it.
Then I have like pills and loads. The backpack doesn't protect the laptop.
It does, but I'm nervous,like I don't want to I keep the
laft I mean, that's what oneextra pound. If you are watching the

live stream, I can show youall. My quarters are on my Instagram
story too. At maryor Centaur comedyis so freaking heavy. I can't check
it up all check it out too. It's like your Oh you don't.
You don't pour them all. They'reso rolled. You don't pour them in.
You came from the bank, youdon't pour them bank. Yeah,
when you get home, you puthim in a giant zip lock or you'll

keep just unrolling. What oh crap, I almost swear. I don't know
what I'm gonna do, but Iuh yeah, I stopped on my way
to the bank because the bank's notgoing to be open after work, you
know what I mean. I haveto get them before I go in.
They're so heavy. But yeah,this is all going into bustle tonight.
We're gonna win ourselves a watch,maybe a pair of earrings something. Yeah,

I gotta tune in. Listening tothe show doesn't make you a bad
person. That thing in the footlocker at the end of your bed,
that makes you a bad person.The buzz it going to be talking to

actor Vigel Mortensen here at a minute. He's acting in and has directed a
brand new western called The Dead Don'tHurt, which is gonna be in theaters
everywhere on Friday. Tonight, Guardiansplay again. They are gonna finish that
series in Denver against the Rockies.That first one they lost. Rockies are
not a good baseball team, butthe Guards came back swaynet early last night.

Thirteen to seven was the final.So they're hoping to take two of
three in this series before they comeback home the weekend series against the Nationals,
and then into next week they'll hostthe Kansas City Royals, who I
think are doing okay this season.It's always kind of back and forth with
the Royals. They used to bekind of perennial ballbusters, but then they

were kind of back and forth.But I think they're an ok team this
season. I haven't really been keepingmy ear to the ground on the Royals,
but they got an away series againstthe Marlins coming up. They'll go
to Cincinnati to play the Reds,go up to Toronto before the Mariners come
here. So tonight eight forty isfirst pitch on MMS, third of three

in Denver against the Rockies. Youknow they called Denver the Mile High City
because everybody smokes pot there my understandingall I thought Mary meant that the camera
on her laptop at ten pounds tothe bag. No, yes, it's
silly goose. That's exactly what itis. Mm hm, the camera that's

built into my laptop. And bythe way, for people who are asking,
who are interested, yes, youdo have to have Instagram to watch
this. Oh yeah, you dohave to have Instagram. I have to
live on any where it will be. In order to go live on multiple
platforms, you have to have multiplephones or multiple recording I didn't know that.
So, like when people go liveon Instagram, Facebook and TikTok all

at the same time, they generallywill have three recording devices. Which there's
different programs that you can do it, but you got to do it through
like a laptop or something too.Yeah, there's a lot of ways to
do that, but you have toget certain software. Real fun thing to
talk about, well, bos alive APM to night Not that you guys

care, but did and I'm sureyou didn't see it that while we're talking
about gambling, did you see thatthey are trying to pass a bill to
raise the amount that you get taxedon on So this is a big this
is tax time casino winnings. Yes, it's currently twelve hundred dollars. If
you win over twelve hundred dollars onany slot machine, you automatically, like

you have to pay taxes on it. This would be a federal law.
Yeah, and they're trying to raiseit to fifty eight hundred. That's a
huge jump. That's it. Well, it's because it hasn't been raised since
like the eighth used anything like that, so that it's like to account for
inflation and everything. It would jumpfrom twelve hundred and fifty eight hundred,
which means that if you don't hit, if you hit for anything less than
five eight hundred dollars in one spin, you don't have to pay tax.

Yeah, that's good news for inveterategamblers. That's huge. Yeah, that's
very exciting. But I was alsowondering, like I wonder if that means
that that casinos will start paying outmore money because they'd be losing all the
money on taxes. So if theywould, like I don't know, reprogram
the machines to pay out on amore frequent basis so that they can still

make some money off of the taxes. Yeah, I saw that. I
saw that recently. You guys don'tcare. That's a big deal. It
is a big deal. I getit, but I just don't. It
doesn't affect me. No, it'sgreat. I listen. Actually, because
a lot of those taxes go tolike schools and stuff. Air quotes,

Well, the Ohio Lottery does.Yeah, air quote. I always find
a way to grab a handful forthemselves. Before I move off the topic
of baseball, an historically bad teamthat happens to be mine is playing on
the South side of Chicago, ateam called the White Sox. They are

fifteen and forty one, and theyhave historically poor attendance too, as you
can expect, and so you gotto make the game exciting for yourself.
And they got a guy on camerawho was pulling at George Costanza. I
remember when Costanza was at the USOpen and they got him on camera just
inhaling that hot fudge Sunday and itwas all over his face. They got

a dude at the White Sox game. Of course, I don't have to
tell you that the White Sox aregetting beat. This part of the game's
bottom of the six. That's fourto one Toronto. And they get this
guy on camera, just sitting therewith his boys, but he is jamming
his face into what looks like aball of nachos or something, and everybody's
enjoying. Now, then I knowhe's not. That's a decent look.

Does he know he's on camera?I would doubt it doing of course,
the announcers don't want to tell you. This guy is high as balls.
Very clearly, this dude is blazedout of his gourd and just jamming his
face in his food. I knowthe food at the ballpark is good.

Oh yeah, you got to getevery bit of it too. By look,
dad is next left, who's gota naphew? What's what section is
he in? That's how exciting.They're just white. They're looking for things
to pay attention to other than thegame. That's how depressing it is.
You go back to the days ofmustard man. You are not here then,

But wait, he's using his sweatshirt. Gotta use something, bro,
we do it's high, right,I mean like his whole face looks cloudy.
Bring it to you. Maybe that'sagain next to a sweatshirt. That's
probably not what it is Yeah.Yeah, it's just something. That's what

I'm saying. Just stuck his facein a bowl of something. One of
my favorite videos of all time ish Nacho Girl, where when the camera
goes on her, this is uhwhen they are still the Indians. I
believe her name is Danielle and shejust starts scarfing nachos. If you go

on YouTube, you can probably findit. Nacho Girl. But she knows
the camera's on her. She's she'splaying to the camera. Foul ball knocks
nacho's out of fansh. Not thatone Cleveland Indian's Nacho Girl. Yeah,
well I don't see that. That'snot I don't say it. No,

the guy there at the Sox gamereferenced to Mustard Man. That was the
guy that they interviewed a few yearsago at the Sox game, a dude
that they you know, inasmuch asMary is very much not into Mustard.
Well, Mustard the person again,Mustard the condiment I have no problems with.

Yeahstard Man, so you are nowbecause Bill baff this is your real
name. But yeah, you werehere last year and you had mustard all
over your face and you became acelebrity. Because of it the coast.
See they thought he was a goodluck charm in the prior season show him.
I can't go anywhere anymore, Chuckwithout being some people saying to me,

are you the mustard man. Iwent to a bar at the Dell's
once and I said, you're themustard man. I can't. I'm an
instant. I'm an instant celebrity,and it's difficult because I'm too famous.
Now, maybe it's the hat Iwas gonna say, never mind the fact
that guy's wearing a hat that saysmustard man. That's why I'm always fascinated

by people who even if you getfamous virally, you still have to think
about all of the people who haven'tseen your viral video. Right, So
when people go everywhere I go,somebody goes, hey, it's that guy.
I'm like, bro, I wouldn'tknow you if I bumped into you
on the street. All right,I emailed you. Nacho girl. This

is from last season. This isfrom five years ago. This is a
while ago. Okay, but shejust goes crazy because the camera's on her.
Since he starts housing nachos, shestands up. Her comment is neest

achievement of my life. Yeah,all right, there you go, just
stuff in her face. I'm proudof her for that. And the guy
next to her is like, henever treat me like that, never jammed
me in. I want to beI think I think they're doing Oh that's
what did it? Yeah, okay, you want to be married to a
big star. You wanted this greatestachievement of my life. And this is

after I got married. Listen,a lot of people get married, not
a lot of people house nachos outof a baseball helmet on a big yeah,
understood, screen understood. One ofmy brothers in broadcasting is getting slagged

a guy who our buddy, ourboss Rock probably knows who Fred Toucher is.
That's already a bad name. Wellis he spells his Toucher and Cox
now well and Fred. But we'vecrossed paths over the years. And he

was doing nights at a race radiostation in Atlanta that wanted to hire me
to do mornings, and I endedup going home in Chicago instead, but
then he would go to Boston.He got hired to do a show at
WBCN, which is a big andnow he last couple of years, he
and another guy do a sports showin Boston and it's very very popular.

But he played an old interview ofhim talking to Bill Walton when he hung
up on him, and everybody's saying, this guy's class list. Mind you,
this is a very very successful showthere in Boston. And but again,
Fred is a guy who he's hadhis issues over the years too.

He's been into rehab a couple oftimes. You know, he can't manage
to hang on to a sidekick.They don't get along. But everybody's given
him a hard time because he's like, yeah, play the clip. He's
dead. I don't what do Ihave to do with it? But isn't
that what people want from sports radio? I mean sports radio is supposed to
kind of be like that what hangingup on? Well? Because his point

was Bill Walton only wanted to talkabout Luke Walton. It's something those with
the Lakers and the Lakers beat theCeltics. Yeah, he's like, I
want to talk about this, Okay. Everybody's giving him a hard time saying
that. Oh Bill Walton was great. He called in and he was acting.

He called in and he was actingthe fool about his son on the
Lakers and there's oh, no firstwar, you're gonna buy your first of
all, that is a great BillWalton. I'll give it up for that,
fantastic Bill Walton. But he waslike but while he was selling cars,
like make up your mind, yourphony hippie, Like, are you
are you really? Are you reallyselling cars? Are you all about peace

and loss? Why? I'm notsure if it's the day, I don't,
I think Cardi, but you mightbe on to something. I think
just go ahead. He's dead.It's nothing. I didn't kill him.
That's what I'm about because even thoughI'm a Celtic, even though the Celtics
gave me my life back twenty fiveyears ago. More importantly, I'm a
dad. It's not about me.I want what's best for our son.

And to see that, all right, well you're rooting for the Lakers.
Goodbye. I'm not going to takea guest. Who's celebrating the team that
just beat that just beat the Celtics. I mean your kids on the team.
Congratulations. I don't see what thebig deal is. I think that's
kind of funny. But people aregiving him a hard time. So it

was terrible to have replayed that.How dare you hang up on Bill Walton?
I don't listen to sports. WhatI'm mad about this because it's not
Boston. Yeah yeah, upset.Yeah, And I was like one day,
haven't been to Boston. Come on, man, what happened? Yeah?

Fred's old co host is now Ithink doing the morning show at Chris
Tyler's station there in Boston because likehis old morning show, like one of
the guys died or something. It'sall musical chairs in this business, baby,
But I mean that was like fromfifteen years ago. He's talking to,
well, Luke Walton was a player, yes, not a coach.

Yeah, he was playing for theLakers when they be No, it did
not, but as a player.All right, let me talk to Vigo
Mortenson. All right. Vigo Mortensenis great in everything. He's a multiple

time Oscar nominee. Movies like GreenBook and The Road and Eastern Promises.
He got nominated for an Oscar.You can go way back to movies like
Witness and beyond that. He's Igot a new western that opens on Friday
called The Dead. Don't Hurt Ego? How are you? I'm very good?
How are you doing? So?You did everything for this movie,

didn't you. Well, I didit together with other people, but yeah,
I was restless. I had towait several years to find the financing.
So I kept trying to do whateverI could, you know, come
up with some music, come upwith keep working on the script, try
to find the right actors to collaboratewith. So, you know, that's

the hard part of the whole thing, to be the creative person and to
I don't know that a lot ofpeople realize, because why would they.
The money can be so hard toget. Yeah, more and more so,
especially like independent, original kind ofstories, and if you want it
to be in movie theaters at leastfor a little while, it's tough to

find someone who will get behind it. But even if it's a Western,
you know, like our movie TheDead Don't Hurt in a way, it's
a classic Western, like the oldfashioned ones, but it's different. It's
a different kind of structure than you'reused to seeing. It has a woman
at the center of it, whichis unusual. She's the main character,
played by Vicki Creep. She's reallyamazing actress. And it's a different kind

of story than you're used to seeing. It starts out as a story.
You think it's going to be astraight revenge story and it becomes something else
more complicated. Well, it's verysparse too, which I like. I
think back to a lot of maybethe mid eighties early nineties westerns that were
being made, big westerns, right, and they had the casts to go
with them, you know, itwas stacked with people that you knew and

movie stars and things like that.Why do you think westerns are so enduring?
Well, fortunately for us, andraising the money for The Dead Don't
Hurt. In recent years, therehave been a few miniseries and TV series
that were Westerns or sort of likewesterns that have been popular on TV,

and that probably helped a little bitto find the money to make this one.
So kind of like the Yellowstone Effectfor lack of a better right,
yeah, right exactly. And Sheridan'swork also certain westerns he's done and I
don't know, it almost dies,but it never quite goes away. And
I think because the Western genre hasso many possibilities, you can try very

different things. Like I say,our movie The Dead Don't Hurt in many
ways looks and feels like a classicold Western, it's different. It has
this woman at the center of it. It's also different than that the two
lead characters don't have English as theirfirst language. That's quite different. And
most importantly, when the man goesaway to war, we don't go with

him. We stay with her.Yeah, and we explore what it is
that little girls and women, Whatdo they get up to, how do
they survive? What are the consequencesfor them when they're dads and their kids,
their brothers, their partners go offto war, sometimes for a long
time, sometimes they die and theydon't come back. What do these women

do? I mean, I thinkthere were probably a lot of strong women
like our Vivian in the West,but people weren't really interested in telling their
stories back then, and I justwanted to explore that. Was it easy
to slip into a Danish character foryou or was there more work that had
to be done than we might expectpeople know in your background? No,

one of that. It was sortof late in the game that in pre
production that I ended up taking therole on because we had someone else who
was for months who was going toplay the role, and he decided to
go out and do something else,and I had to kind of scramble couldn't
find someone to replace him that wasthat age and type and acceptable to the
producers, you know, name enoughor something, And so I said,

well, I can do it.I'm just going to make sure Vicky's cool
with that, and I'll have tochange the after He'll be a little older
now. And I just I thought, okay, well let me take the
easy route. He's supposed to bescanning ave in. I'll make him specifically
Danish, right, I know thelanguage. I know. You know it's
my dad, my grandfather, aunt'suncles, cousins, you know. I

mean, I know I've lived therealso and worked and then so I could
gotture sort of some of the charactersclumsiness, a sense of humor, as
sense of right and wrong. Sothis didn't begin with you being on camera
and playing the main role. Thisbegan with you writing it and directing it.
Yeah, that's right. I mean, just judging on the films that
I've seen you and enjoyed you in, there seems to be no appeal to

you at all for playing characters thatare pretty simple on the page. I
can't recall a role you've played thatwasn't a complicated person to get into I
think you can do that with anyany role, you know. I mean
I always there's two things I alwaysdo when I first get a script and
I know I'm going to be doingthis job, I ask myself, first,

what happened be for page one?And you can spend the rest of
your life I'm massuring what the upbringingthat? How did they get to that
point in the story of their life? And the other thing is when he's
described let's say as a well he'sa perfect gentleman, or he's a bad
guy, or he's shouting all thetime. I always ask myself, however
he's described and however he speaks,when is he not that way? Because

we all have contradictions, and youcan always find layers to any character you're
given to play. So I thinkthat's first and foremost of the director's responsibility
to encourage that. But it's alsothe director's responsibility to offer that up for
the director. Layers, you know, contradictions for the character. Do you
read anymore? Or you you luckyenough to people go, we need a

Vigo Mortenson type and if we canget him all the better. It depends.
Sometimes there's something that you know Imight read something and say, oh,
I'd love to play that character.Yeah, done that, And they
might say I don't see that atall, you know, and then I
do have to go in and meetand show them, you know. But
other times that happened the other way, where directors say well, I want

you to play this role and youthink you're crazy. I don't think I'm
right for that. I mean thatJust a couple examples would have been,
you know, Pete Fairley when hesaid I want you to play this Italian
American guy Tony Lipp and green Book, or when David Cronenberg said I want
you to play Sigmund Freud and aDangerous Method. I thought they were crazy.
I thought, nah, I mean, I'm flattered. Do you think

I can do that? But Idon't think. I think you should find
someone else. But fortunately I listenedto them because they insisted, and they
in both those cases, I hada great experience. You care about stuff
like oscars. I know you've gottena handful of nominations, green Book being
one of them. But does thatanything that matters to you? I know
that, I know the reflexive answeris no for a lot of actors,
but it's probably a party of thatgoes, it'll be nice. I've been

doing this a long time. Ofcourse it's flattering, but it's it's kind
of a crapshoot. What I reallythink about them A nominations and awards.
I want people to see the moviesthat I make, and when someone gets
nominated, whether it's makeup and hairor whether it's you know, an actor

and actress or a screenwriter. Anynomination, any attention that a movie gets
in that sense, is going tohelp, is going to encourage people.
Oh maybe I should go see that. It was I heard it was nominated
for something. That's really the mainthing I think about it. Otherwise I
don't think about it, and Iwould never go to one of those ceremonies
as I was nominated. But somepeople do like that. They like the

social aspect of it. You know, it's fine. Everybody's different, you
know. I don't have anything againstit. I just I see it as
a I guess, as a potentialtool. It's great when it happens.
It does help people go see themovie, encourage them, and that's all
I really pay attention to. Itook the holiday weekend and it's to watch

The Dead Don't Hurt, And it'sfantastic. Bagle mortons and directs this.
He wrote it, he's in it. It's called The Dead Don't Hurt.
It is in theaters everywhere this Friday. I hope people go see it.
Thank you so much for your time, man, I'm a big fan.
Good luck with this film. Thankyou very much. Buzz Buzz Cleveland.

When you have been described by yourenemies as evil, insane, manipulative,
who are you call the Alan Coxshow two one six, five seven eight
one double oh seven or one eightthree four eight one double oh seven,

that motive head out on that highwaylooking forward bench in whatever comes outway?
Yeah, take the world the gun. I don't know, man, it's

been almost sixty years, and Idon't know if anybody has come up with
a better motorcycle song than Steppenwolf's Bornto Be Wild. If they have,
boy, I don't know that I'veheard it, but it's always the one
that comes to mind for me.Yeah, I get on it. The

motorcycle song. Yeah, in thestyle of John k and Steppenwolf or whatever
style you want. No. Iwas reading a cool article this morning about
a Cleveland manufacturer it's a small company. The only they have fewer than thirty
people there that are making electric motorcycles. I've seen those. Those are really
cool and they make them look kindof like a classic bikes. Yeah,

they have like a retro kind ofvibe to them. Yeah. Land Energy
is the company, And again Idon't have any vested interest in it,
but I just thought it was veryinteresting because I was the first i'd heard
of it. They're over in GordonSquare or something, and they kind of
have a little warehouse and they gotgoing just as everything was shutting down for
COVID, so that gave them abit more time to hammer out the details,

I guess. But they're making electricmotorcycles and EV batteries and a lot
of people want They got a bigbacklog of orders, which is a good
problem to have. So I'd neverheard of them before, but they're in
Cleveland and trying to make things happen. But yeah, the bikes look cool,
cool. Yeah, But what arethey were on you here? About

seven grand? Yeah, yeah,about seven grand for base and then you
know, then go from there.But you know, motorcycles, I'll give
them credit because motorcyc are one thingthat people have a hard time getting their
heads around as an electric vehicle.I think that there's such a even more
so than cars. There's such kindof an American sense of I don't know

what everyone. Harley first announced theywere going to make an EV motorcycle and
people just crapped their pants. Yeah, and I don't know anything about them,
but I haven't ridden a motorcycle ina long long time. But yeah,
right here in Cleveland doing stuff.Good for them called Land Energy Guardians

are playing tonight eight forty. They'rehoping to wrap that series against the Rockies
in Denver with a win. Theyhammered them last night after losing that first
one last night was thirteen to sevenCleveland, so good for them. Eight
forty tonight they will play them thereat corps Field and then come home to
host the Nationals for the weekend andthen into next week against the Kansas City

Royals. So eight to forty tonighton MMS. That means the pregame if
you want to get the entire spectrumof coverage about eight ten, and you
can also listen on the iHeartRadio app, available to you for free. At
least I think did we start chargingfor that the I heard of you app?

Is it still free? Free?Wow? Still everything's charged? You
know motorcycles apps? What? Ohyeah lemonade motorcycles Yeah, apps. You
can't get that murder lemonade anymore.I don't think they took it off the

menu because one person with an asyet undiagnosed heart condition died. Imagine you're
the company, right, listen.I got no love for I'm always going
to be on the side of somebody. But imagine you're the company. They're
like, hey, we just rolledout this lemonade, uh nationwide. Oh
a kid died because of the lemonade. Now, but he had a hard

tang. Didn't know about it,or maybe he did. What do I
know? But he thought if hedid know, he thought it was a
good idea to drink a depth chargesized beverage full of caffeine. And there
it is. Take it off thething. I never had it, think
about it around. I never gotaround to having one. Oka is in
tight add sneezes to things that arecharged. That would be five dollars.

Add it to the bonus hole.No, no, no, no,
that's its own things. Wait,if you listen to us on the app,
I always like to know where peopleare. Scott is in Littleton,
Colorado. Johnny listens in Belmont,Mississippi. Nick is a bureau chief in
Lehina, Hawaii. Andy's and WillMoore Kentucky. Ray and Brittany listen in

Yorktown, Virginia. Yeah. AndMark is on the phone right now.
Hello Mark, Hi, Alan,I heard you talking about motorcycle songs.
Yes, sir, looking for aclassic. There's one out of a northern
Ohio band called Left End out ofYoungstown, Ohio. They were signed on
Tolydor Records back in your early seventies, Holly Door. Wow, Yes,

a long time ago. And theyjust did a reunion show. And what's
their song? Mark? It's calledcyclone Rider. I'm sorry, cyclone Rider?
All right now? Is that somethingthat they play live when they reunite?
Yes, they just did it.Wow, all right, cyclone Rider?

Yes, look them up and geta chance. Old local boys from
northern Ohio. Gotcha all right?Good tim Thanks Mark. I sent you
another motorcycle song by our friends,Jim Pearson Mike phone left Head probably what
here called cyclone Rider on the mostus still Dan's me boy, This is

pulled right off the forty five,isn't it. You can hear all the
pops and the and the buzz andthe clicks, sands, I don't hate

it pretty good. That's a goodtip. Nineteen seventy five cyclone rider from
left them there in Young's tone,all right, good, good tip.
End of my rope is the Bside of that recorded at the recording connection
in Cleveland, Ohio. You saidme another song. Yeah, two dudes
on a motorcycle ike and Jim tubsWhen did my hair your front on my

back? I see nothing wrong withthat. Two guys want to ride?
You don't he sit in my hands? Why can't they just understand opening road?
I'm traveling, my friend. That'snothing to dip them be just two

dudes on on a cycle, ridingas far as fast as we led.
Well, we play there. Anythingthat is fine there, I'll just jealous
to say. And he has money. Jesus. They look like they're in
high school fifteen years ago. Wow, it's time to travel. Everybody into
twine. So let them stare andlet them scarf. If you can read

this, my friend fell off.They say, what's the purpose? They
say, what's the use of ourhelping footprint is greatly reduced too. The
man out on the end this highway, where does my body end? In
his began it's my life, man, I live in my way. Don't

they know? Being fefty is notus Also, it's in the service of
saving money. It's as timely todayas it was fifteen years ago. Wow,
I will call it disturb and tellher little strange. But it's hunt
in my back and that end outto eat a cycle to design what a

cycle out to a motorcycles on amot acycle of life. I kept waiting
for it to go in another direction. You know, there's a lot of
homo eroticism associated with motorcyclescycle. Godbless them. Michael Polk and James Two's.

I think that those two've got areal future. Agree. I poked
a segment you know he's over onChannel three. Yeah, he's a pro.
And he did a segment the othernight on Cleveland Hopkins Airport, just
crowing about their new bathroom renovation orsomething. It's very funny. I love
them. Oh God, yep,very good. You can leave us messages

anytime you like the after hours line. If you don't have the app,
you can leave messages there, butthe after hours line will take voicemails two
one eighty nine three to get usthere out there. So I was wondering
if you could help me understand orderof a bagel thing, whether or not

you half of the pack or thebottom of the bagel or twenty five percent
of the top of the bottom?Uh? Love the love you hate the
show? What is he talking about? It? Wants to know the thing?
Which quarter of the bagel you eat? First of all, it's a

half bagel. You guys came upa quarter bagel. I eat a half
bagel. So he's saying, doyou cut the full bagel in half and
then have a top half and abottom half? Or do you split it
or a bottom? Right? Butit's cut different, so we need to
know. Are you like one flathalf or like a half a sandwich?

I would slice it like you slicea bagel and then eat half of it,
So you would eat either the topor the bottom. What kind of
maniac cuts it down the middle?Yes, in the middle. Yeah,
and then you have and I gota lot of quirks, but I'm not
a psycho. A fat or bagelbut half of it? No, you
cut a bagel like everybody cuts abagel and then you eat half of it.

Listen, we're just asking questions,man, Well he's asking questions.
How could I have forgotten about badmotor scooter? Oh my god, I
gotta have my classic rock DJ radiocard taken. It's been a minute.
But Montrose and bad motor Scooter SammyHagar on the vocals, God Bless America,

Sammy Hay out of the Red RockHair back in the day. Ronnie
Botrove's got bad motor scooter. ButI'm just man'd page and your Beth ways

the last say nineteen three. Seehe's trying to get a young lady to
get on her little scooter and comeup the road so they can have some
naked naked time. Right Hey,I'm just up the road, baby.

Once you get on that bad motorscooter and bring them jubblees on up the
road. Want you put them cakeson the seat and get up here and
see what's happening. You get lonelyon your daddy's farm. Well, I
live up the road and I'm abad boy. I am fronting a band.

Sammy Hagar. He was a youngyoung man playing in Montrose before anybody
had heard of him, really,and he went off to do all his
solo stuff. Thank you for that, by the way. That was an
egregious omission on my part. Allan. That motorcycle song sounded like you mimicking

someone singing a song about a motorcycle. It sounded like high quality AI to
be one. You mean, thetight End song or whatever they were called.
Yeah, yeah, the one thatcaller suggested that sounded like AI did
it, but it just was betterquality. Well nineteen seventy five, right,
I mean, maybe there wasn't asmuch subtext. You wrote a song
about riding a motorcycle. The lyricsare about riding a motorcycle a woman named

Lauren, and listeners do this frequently, whether it's their children in the car
or you know, kids say thedark things. And Lauren sends me a
piece of video of her daughter.They're in the garden or something, and
the subject line is that my daughterdoesn't like Alan. And so I'm always

fascinated why why people are having conversationsabout me with their children. Maybe she
was outside and listening and the kidcomes by and doesn't have anything positive to
say. You like Alan, youdon't like Allan, you like Alan?
Do you like him? Now?Lani? You like out me? See?
I like that because that a kidwill tell you what's important? Do

you like that leaf? And she'slike, I'm trying it. She goes
for the record, she does callyou Alan Cotton, which is a great
name, by the way. Youknow, when it's all over for me
in showbiz and I retire, perhapsto one of the goal states, I'm
gonna start calling myself Alan Cotton.But a kid will tell you you're trying
to get them to focus on something. Her daughter looked like maybe she was

three. I remember when Nora wasjust a scoch north of two years old,
and I was trying to get herto say, shut up pound cake.
Remember when I was trying to shutup Cake all the time, And
she finally ended up doing it,but it took a while. And I
remember sitting on the patio and wewere eating pretzels, and I couldn't get

her to say shut up pound cakebecause she just wanted to offer me pretzels.
She was trying to tell me whatwas important, pound cake, pretzel
badge, shut up, pound cake, shut up. That was like five

o five takes of that you wanta pretzel beddy. Yeah, she was
trying to get me to eat pretzels. Say shut up, pound cake,
la pretzel dodgy. Okay, thankyou, say shut up, pound cake?
Shut up. Yeah, she'd barelyspeak, and I'm in there trying
to get her to do bits withme pound cake using Hey, drunk sue.

Maybe what's up? Hey? Nothing? I wanted to tell you that
you forgot one song. I guessI forgot a lot of songs. That's
why I was kind of hoping youguys are going to fill in the blanks
for me. What's up? Well? How about meat though that out of
Hell? Well, he was ona motorcycle on the album cover, But

that songs? Is that song abouta motorcycle? Is it? I never
paid that much attention to meat Loaf. He crashes, he crashes the bike,
He crashes the bike. Okay,it was in the sun corners to

cutting bike. Yeah, I meanI remember that album cover. That's a
classic. It's a famous album coverof the guy just tearing out of hell
on a motorcycle. But I guessI didn't realize if you are current,
see, I just couldn't get intomeat Loaf. It was also, you
know, he was in the RockyHorror Picture Show and all of his and

he fits so perfectly in that moviebecause all of his music to me was
like it was too theatrical for me. I couldn't get into it. I
mean, you know how people lovedit. He would just like like he'd
be in town with something else andhe would just go to a random bar
and just set up and start playing. People didn't even realize it was him

because they couldn't believe it something likethat would just show up. Oh yeah,
sure thing. I mean, hedefinitely didn't look like a guy who
was going to be a big rockstar. But but he's dead now too.
Yeah me Loskhan, yep, Iknow Marvin ad Day. I think
his daughter is married to Scottian ofAnthrax. Yeah anyway, okay, yeah,

he died in twenty twenty two.Okay, uh, thank you,
Sue. How are you feeling anotherwise, I'm doing pretty good ready,
Okay, I'm hanging it out all. It's going pretty good. Do you
have any upcoming hospital visits planned?God? I hope not. Do you
have any upcoming hospital visits unplanned?God? I hope not. All right,

his name is Robert Paulson. Hisname is Robert Paulson. I'm talk
over what I'll go down by Kentuckynext month on the twenty first, second
and third. Yeap, my brother'spartnered had passed away. I'm sorry to
hear that. Yeah. Oh he'shaving you know, a celebration of life

down there. Your brother's partner,your your brother's gay yeah. Oh wow,
okay, how is that living inKentucky twenty seven years? Wow?
What part of Kentucky At the veryedge of Ohio. There's a bridge that

you can see from his back court. It goes to Kentucky. Okay,
like Cincinnati into Kentucky. Yeah,yeah, Okay. We're gonna spend a
couple of nights over at the Frenchquarter in down there. Okay, take

your word for it on the Kentuckyside. All right now, I believe
you all right, Well, havea safe trip, okay, Oh yeah,
please offer him our condolences. Ohabsolutely alight. But everybody else out
there, hi, guys, lovey'all. All right, Well, I'll
talk to you soon, all right, Sue, be be careful out there.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do.Well is a short list, but
still if you could adhere to itfor me. I appreciate it. French
Quarter in there in Maysville. Conductall right, it's not every day you

hear him complain about something. Wait, yes it is going on seven doublemmas.
Oh boy, I got a wholetwo hours and nothing but heavy metal

lined up for you. By theway, putting the finishing touches on the
playlist for Saturday night. We doa metal show here. It's called two
Hours to Midnight, and I don'tthink we'll run into any problems with the
Guardians game this Saturday night. It'sme, it's Corey Roddick, it's Pad

Butler, and all three of usthrow in stuff. We want to play
for you guys on Saturday night.So if metal is your vibe, you
want to join us for two hoursto midnight. You want to whoa,
I hate a bunch of watermelons?We'll are you all right? Yeah?

Okay, did you swallow the seedstoo? Just a little white seeds?
Wow. I was going to askif you wanted me to give you a
taste of what's gonna be on twohours to midnight, but you might have
too much of a taste already.Wow. New music this Saturday Night from

cu Space Cowboy. They're kind ofwild. A band called Rickshaw Billies,
Burger Patrol. They're pretty heavy.I'm going to play new Iced Tea and
body Count. Speaking of that Lollapaloozadocumentary, Iced Tea is he's og,

but he's got a brand new songwith body out called Psychopath. I'm gonna
play that for you. A localband called Along Came a Spider, play
the new one from them, andthen a grab bag of just great stuff,
Suffocation and Wage War and Black Sabbath. A band called Severe Torture.

You want to hear Severe Torture,Mary, nobody has wanted to hear that.
I like that. They called theirband Severe Torture. Yeah, like
tortures done when regular torture just isn'tgetting the point across severe torture. It's
called the Pinnacle of Suffering, Mary. I can feel it. I can

deal with it. You can feelit in your balls hand shout heavy brand
new Dutch metal. Oh these guysare good. Yeah, man as good.
Woo nuggy, Oh that'd gets youtainted. Rumblin AnyWho Saturday Night more

where that came from two hours tomidnight with me and Corey and Pat tune
in, won't You? And thenSunday morning we do the Weekend Cocks,
these two hours of the best stufffrom the previous week. Yeah, you're
familiar with all with Mormon crickets.Is that one of your bands? No,

Nope, but they are running rampant. You know. The rest of
the country. Is the Cicada thingover? I don't know. There was
so much talk about the Cicada thingleading up to it, and then you
don't hear anything now, So Idon't know if people are just sick of
it or if it's over. Ifeel like the cicada thing happens very quickly.
There's a lot of lead up toit. There's a big deal this
year because two different broods were emergingat the same time, whereas they would

normally emerge on their own, separateschedules. But out west there's something called
the Mormon cricket. And I'm goingto show you some of the local news
coverage out there in Las Vegas becauseit looks disgusting. They have to they
have to put out public warnings forpeople to be careful because there are so

many of these that when parts ofthe state get rain, it creates this
slick sludge that makes the roads potentiallydangerous. And it smells all these bugs,
they say, it smells like dogpoop all through the state. It's

a large, flightless insect. Theylook like fat grasshoppers and they just chow
crops. And I don't know whythey're called Mormon crickets. Lots of wives.
It rubbed their legs together and nothinghappen. No, they actually wear
secret pajamas, these big fat grasshoppersand their secret pajamas. Giant crickets everywhere,

the Mormon crickets, the nooses innorthern Nevada. That's gotten even stranger.
Take a look. State troopers upin northern Nevada say, a bunch
of crashes on I eighty east ofwhen a muscler caused not just by the
rain they've had, but by rainmixed with Mormon crickets. They say,
the crickets mixed with rain make theroads even more slippery, leading to unpredictable
stopping distances. So as gross asthat was, no reports of injuries.

John, Cricket sludge is what thosepeople are concerned. They're huge, yes,
big fat grasshoppers getting chills, Dude, makes me hungry. No,
stop it with the eating bugs.I'm so tired of you. I'm planning.
Just do it. Some people,I've had them, then do it,
do it regularly for the amount thatyou talk about. I don't have

Mormon crickets here. Am I supposingto a cricket based diet? And somebody
they didn't say cricket based let's dipour toe in. But you know,
listen, you got all kinds ofpeople that their idea of prepping is,
you know, loading up on ammoand peaches, tinned peaches. I'm talking
about better get used to eating bugs. That's good advice. You know.

Somebody somebody posted, somebody posted ait was a bar in Chicago that was
doing cicada cicadas in malort shots.I'm like, you ain't never gonna taste
that bug. I don't know whypeople are freaked out. The malort itself
is the horrific part of that combination. So I don't know if the cicadas

are still around anymore. I thinkmaybe southern Ohio saw them. I don't
think we saw them up here,at least not to the extent that a
lot of other places did. Butthe cricket's there about fifteen twenty years ago,
the crickets there in Nevada. TheseMormon crickets infested about ten million acres

in Nevada. And they say there'snothing you can do about them. They're
invasive. But you just got towait them out, big fat grasshoppers,
and you know, give yourself alittle extra room breaking because of all the
sludge. True, yeah, cricketsledge all. They're the only crickets that

get into heaven, is it true? They get their own planet. Still
gotta be good, though, theygot to go through all the rigmarole.
You can't just be like Mormon andnot go to church and stuff. Yeah,
you gotta do the work. Yeah, Breton columb people are still giving
me motorcycle songs. Breton Columbus suggestedHeld Then for a Leather by Judas Priest.

I avoided that. I avoid it, but I never considered that a
motorcycle song. I mean, Ialways loved the people who many years later,
when Rob Halford came out publicly,we're shocked that he was gay,
when their whole motif was leather andstuds for a long long time. So

I think hell bent for leather orrock hard, ride Free. There are
a lot of Judas Priest songs thatprobably refer to motorcycles. I mean,
he was always pulling one out onstage right. He always ride out famously
on a giant hog. But Idon't think of them necessarily as motorcycle songs.
There's head Out to the Highway,a lot of great priest songs.

What about Jesus Take the Wheel?Well, I don't think there's a wheel
on a motorcycle, but two wheels. There's two? Yeah, we're you
talking about? Is that the wheelthat they want Jesus to Boy, I've
been listening to that song all wrong. I thought it was Jesus helped me
drive. Take the steering wheel.That's not what it was. Wheel.

Take the wheel of this motorcycle.Take the wheel wheel. My baby's in
the back seat of Oh what aboutwagon wheel? A wagon is another term
for a motorcycle. I didn't thinkthat that's what they was. They were
referring to wagon. Yeah, theDarius Rucker song like if your wheel is

loose, the bearings are loose andit kind of wags a little in the
wind. You don't think that,I mean, go ahead, follow it
through to its logical conclusion. Youknow. Yeah, Alan Mormon crickets,

a little known fact, are notallowed to swim because the devil owns the
water. That's only if their missionary. I forgot about that. You don't
pay attention to anything. You alwaysmakes everything up. There's so much information
to try to underwear. You don'teven respect the religion that I defamed.
Well we learned it from watching you, Dan. I at least got the

facts right. Well, they're madeup facts. Where do male Mormon crickets
do their missions in the streets,Allen? I just got back from Missouri
from my daughter's graduation, and boyare the cicadas out very very loud everywhere.

Okay, well, there you go. Mormon cricket is what they used
to call me, this person sayswhen I was a bed jumper for soaking
Mormon couples. There you go.Yeah, because somebody's got to rock the
bed, right the jumpers. Yeah, you guys can stop sending me anything
related to soaking. I've seen itall. Why would they send you soaking

stuff because they're like, oh,Mormons do they do this? And they
don't. It's a Mormon anymore,right, And haven't been for twenty years,
but people send it to me.Huh, seen them all, so
you don't have to send it tome. Yeah. Can Mormon crickets have
caffeine? Surely doesn't seem like theyneed to. They're out there chowing on
the on the crops. Hey day, coffee beans. What's up, Dave?

Hey, just calling to say,how about Ride the Wind? Poison?
Is it the motorcycle song? Forthe motorcycle song? Yeah, ride
the Wind? I didn't know ifmaybe they meant it in a more generic
hair band sense than specifically motorcycles.Thank you, Dave? A little holdover

from Stansberry's Big Hair Wednesday on theballs. Okay, well there's that sure

saddle iron horses of Chrome. Yeah, okay, Well, well you gotta
love those eighties hairband songs. Justtaking a bunch of random words, throwing
them in a bag, just throwinghim on, you know, like mad
Libs, never coming back till ITouched the Midnight Sun? Love it?

Hm? What did you get whenyou were spending most of your time figuring
out what was gonna happen in themirror and not on the page and doing
drugs? But they had their theyhad their fun I don't know if Poison
was a drug band, I wouldneed to consult one Corey Erotic Esquire for
that information. I was never Iwas never a Poison guy, but I

know they remained very popular. AndBrett Michael's uh for what It's worth is
one of the nicest people you'll evermeet. Ever. I thought he was
so cute on that dating show whatwas it? Yeah, one of my
uh guyeliner friends was one of thejudges or something, or one of the

friends they paneled ahead in there.Yeah, love me some guyliner. Yeah,
you come at it more from theemo perspective though, well, I
eightiesh hairbands. I mean was afull face of makeup, right, but
not on that show. He justwore the eyeliner on the show, right,
and probably daily it might be tattooedon. I don't even know,

but like, yeah, because Iwas early two thousands, so like Pete
Wentz and fall Up Boy and Gerardwhatever his last name is from My Chemical
Romance, they always had eyeliner onand then the Gerard way and then this
is the same time Pirates of theCaribbean came out, when Johnny Depp had
a heavy Eyeliner in that movie.So Eyeliner does something to me to this

day. My Chemical Romance Poison Pirates, Oh a little pound Cake, ba

bye bye, b bye bye bye. He really did what he said,
yep. Oh god, if Inever heard that song in its entirety again,
it would be too soon. Ohgod. When I first got back
to Chicago, we were playing thatsong every freaking five minutes, it felt
like. And that was no shortsong either. My Chemical Romance Police,

Hey Doug, Yes, how's goingon? Are you do good? Can't
Stop My Heart by whom that is? By Motley Crue? Please, what's
it called? Can't Stop my Heart? Can't Stop my Heart by Motley Crue,

Can't say my Heart? Right?All right? Yeah, that's that
is a good one, Doug,Thank you, all right, like you
pal. Of course, a songkickstart my Heart is what Doug is thinking
of. Can't Start my Heart wouldbe a dead person song about being dead.

Well, you need to kickstart someone'sheart if they're dead. Yeah,
I guess so. But thank you. Motorcycle Man by Saxon, that's good
classic seventies British heavy metal. That'sa good g of course they really had
to drive to the point home.Back in the day, they always had

to have a lot of sound effects, right, so you knew even though
the song was called Motorcycle Man,there was never any confusion. How about
what they were talking about? Youbrought up Mary's Alley. So is it

fair to say that, after along period of time you and Brian not
seeing each other because you're in along distance relationship, when the time finally
comes, do you ever say wherethe guy? No, he never has.
I've asked, You've asked you.I mean that's all you can do.

Let me dress you up like JackSparrow. Why are you fighting me
on this? Hir for me?Right? Come on, man, jump
in me, Jump in me booty. What are you irish? What's happening
there? Jump in me booty?That's awful? Right? All right?

House? Or we get married,we're engaged or something to be a big
event. Buzz buzz Cleveland call theAlan Cox Show. Is that what you
want to do? Think about it? Alan wants divorceding broke good night two

six seven eight one double O sevenor one three four one seven, Well,
just news, it seems my life. It's nice a Shane smile when

I heard Scott's staff of Creed.It was going to play Frank Sinatra.
I was thinking DJ Cummerbunn's got hiswork cutout for him. But Anthony Vincent
already did it. Anthony Vincent isa guy that does a He has a
TikTok account called ten Second Songs andthey're all funny. And somebody was like,

hey, Scott's stab or Sinatra Creedor whatever. So Scott's stab.
You know, Creed's going back outon the road. They're in the middle
of a Cretaissance and there's a biopicfilm that's going to be out about Ronald
Reagan and the cast. As youmight suspect because of the way things kind
of are, it's pretty much awho's who of like conservative actors, and

it runs the gamut from guys likeDennis Quaid, who's been on this show
a couple times over the years.He's gonna play Ronald Reagan, so full
on whack jobs like John Voight.Kevin Dylan is in it. Remember Kevin
Dillon, Yeah, he was JohnnyDrama an entour just watching a little Entourage
the other day. John Voight's init, and Scott Stapp will play Frank

Sinatra in this movie. The movieis called Reagan. That's a weird casting.
Penelope Ann Miller, who's pretty foxy. She's gonna play Nancy Reagan.
Cee Thomas Howell is in it,Kevin Dylan is in it. Mina Souvari

remember her. She was the girlin American Beauty and I think she's an
American pie too, right, Andthen movies with a word American in the
title kind of dried up, soI don't know what she did. But
yeah, so it's got a prettystacked cast. But people were quite surprised
to see that Scott's Stap is playingFrank Sinatra, and so he is I

would like to watch that. SeanMcNamara is the director of the movie Reagan.
He's the guy who brought you filmslike Into the Blue, to the
Reef, Bring It On, oneof the Bring It On sequels, the
Zach and Cody Sweet Life movie.And this will be Scott STAPs feature film

debut. And they said that theycast him because he's known for his big,
high energy performances and they needed somebodyalong those lines to play Frank Sinatra.
See, I grew up in anIrish house but most of the kids

I went to school with were eitherIrish or Italian. The Italian families.
The Irish families, there were picturesof Kennedy in the house. Both families
had pictures of Jesus in the house. But for instance, where my family
had a picture of John F.Kennedy, my Italian friends' houses their parents

had up pictures of Frank Sinatra.But he never really scratched me where I
itged not like we were listening toSinatra, but like our parents' generation were
listening to Frank Sinatra. I likethat crooner stuff. Yeah, it's not
bad. Every now and then,well I remember there I was reading that

Albert Ruddy died, and there's probablynot a lot of people who know who
Albert Ruddy is, but he wasthe guy who was the producer, one
of them of The Godfather. Therewas a great fictionalized a mini series on
Paramount Plus last year called The Offer, and it was about how they made
The Godfather, how they had toget the just the pain in the ass

that it was to make that movie. And they had a guy playing Frank
Sinatra, and Frank Sinatra was oneof the guys who was you know,
because the word obviously Frank Sinatra wastied him with a mob to some degree,
or at least if he wasn't directlyconnected, he certainly had a lot
of sympathizers in the mafia. AndFrank Sinatra was one of these guys who
really did not want The Godfather tobe made. There's a lot of Italian

Americans thought that it was terrible thatthey were portraying all these stereotypes of Italians
as criminals, which you understand whereyou know everyday people are coming from.
But Organized Cross, the Mafia wasItalian, and so The Godfather when they

were making this movie, this guyAlbert Ruddy. Miles Teller played him in
the Offer, and he was fromCanada. He was the guy that created
Hogan's Heroes, which is a showthat you just can't believe ever got made
a sitcom about a concentration camp inWorld War Two. So Albert Ruddy was

the guy who created Hogan's Heroes.His background was in chemical engineering or something,
and so he came to the moviebusiness by way of like working for
a rocket manufacturer or something. Idon't know, but he was writing all
the time. He did the longestJar with Bert Reynolds, he did Canniball
Run, he did Walker, TexasRanger. But al Ruddy was pretty much

singularly responsible for pushing The Godfather toget made, and anybody who likes that
movie that show. The offer kindof went under everybody's radar, but I
thought it was very entertaining. Itwas probably out summer before last, but
it's over on Paramount Plus and it'severybody's cat. I like movies whe everybody's

cast as a real person. Ijust find those entertaining. Dan Fogler is,
Francis Ford Coppola, and you know, I don't know what a lot
of the Matthew Good is, RobertEvans. I like those. So Albert
Ruddy died. He's ninety four yearsold, but he was. His name
was most closely associated with the Godfather. You know, it's a Godfather music.

Mary. I picked up on that. I didn't think this was just
some chimes that well, I've beengetting into playing chimes. Yeah, this
is me recreating the Godfather on thechimes. Sounds like chimes to me.
Yeah, there's some string instruments inthere. There's like a little, uh,

a little mandolin or something. Yeah. I don't know. Next time
Dick calls, we should ask himif he's ever played the Godfather theme.
That'd be great. Oh it's notgreat on DULs Yeah, but does it
he also plays the mandolin? Yeah? Yeah, that's what he played for
you when he came out to seehim. But I'll come. How about

that cross? Let me see it, let's see that beautiful thing. Wow.
Yeah, this was his cover ofthe Godfather's scene. What you told
me at the time and the weatherthey get out to him. Yeah,

I think that's a fantastic version byhim. It's great. And you gave
him nothing in that parking lot.He's out there playing his asshole out of
your mind. He's out there,you're telling him to whip it out,
and all he wants is for youto put all he wants us to play
for you give him AnyWho? BabyCory Devins Springe, I just woke up.

I must have fallen asleep here inmy ear and I caught sports and
deuced asthma. Let's just go rapidfire. See what sounds funny. Sports
and deuce dermatitis, sports and dudesports induced dan driff sports and deuce hammer

toe. I don't know love youguys. At the show, he hits
the post to mean man by washalright, Corey and tarpin Springs, Florida.
Thank you. Yeah. Mary mentionedyesterday she gets sports induced as most
size induced. All right, exerciseexercise exercise exer exercise induced asth me.

Yeah, No, I think it'sfunnier if you have sports induced if you
can do fill in the blank sportsinduced things that have nothing to do with
physical exertion, no, just watchingthem, sports induced PTSD, sports induced
panic attack, no, no,no, nothing, nothing having to do
with anything physical, like sports inducedgas prices. Oh huh, well no,

that's real sports induced parking prices.Sports induced. Do you wise?
Sports induced beaver Dams has its ownsport sports induced bananas. I mean,
if they're all, you know,physical afflictions, that makes sense. The

beaver Dams gas price is fine.There's not that many sports that happened on
or near rivers for there to bea sports inducer beaver dam. Hence the
inherent hilarity. Oh, it's betterwhen you explain it. Most jokes are,
especially if you have to explain themrepeatedly and at length. Speaking of

at length, Hey, gay lord, Hey, how are you, mister
Cox and mister Squire and that beautifullittle miss Santour A little yah. I
love y'all every day. Oh.I just wanted to let you know that

I'm alive and kicking and my wifekeeps kicking me. I'm doing fine.
Hey. You know I heard yourone little thing about the guy saying about
once divorced. Well, you know, I want to tell you something.

I had three practice wives and nowI've been married. I've been married for
way over twenty four twenty five years. So I'm the happiest I've ever been.

Skalalor. You're on your fourth wife. You got it, buddy,
And wow, now we're getting somewhere. Yes, sir, she's wonderful to
me. She's the best gal Icould have ever found. I mean,

you were up and running with thosewith those earlier wives, right, Well,
I can't marry in the same personwith different paces. Yeah, okay,
you know after after a while,you know, they say you learn
from your mistakes. I should bea professor and married. So how old,

gaylord? How old are you whenyou got married the first time?
I was twenty I want to saytwenty two. And these are all local
girls. I mean, have youhave you lived elsewhere? Local? Local

in uh Lorraine County. Wow?So if you anytime you're in Lorraine County,
there are three possible ex wives youcould bump into. Uh above ground,
I have I have children by them, and yeah, I bump into

them. Uh. I have towear a hard hat when I wait,
wait, you have kids with allthree ex wives? Yes, sir man
kaylor like to leave it in thisguy. I mean, by his own
admission, he kept making mistakes.I was a good father, paid my

child support. I uh was agood daddy. And all my children all
love me and they surround me allthe time that they can. So look
at you, I have to man, proud tailor's out there, he's like

Johnny Appleseed. Well I'm I'm notplant anymore. I've got my wife and
like I said, I'm very veryhappy. My my my wife is my
doll. And I'm very lucky.Did you, gaylord, when you got

married the fourth time? Is yourcurrent wife a much younger woman? Yeah?
That's how you do it, boy, I'm telling you, that's how
you do it. Because gaylord,you're like what seventy sixty nine around there
gonna be seventy in November. Up, and what's your wife twenty six?

That's less exciting. No, she'sten years younger than me, mister squire
matter. Oh man, all right, does she get Does she ever get
into fights with the ex wives?They ever come to blows? Uh?
Well, sometimes she stands up forme when things get a little mouthy in

them, and mouthy when they startlipping off then things. Yeah, okay,
yeah, I've I've given up onarguing with them. There's no sense
in it, you know, Iguess, so wow, trying to argue
with a hollow ahead. As faras I'm concerned, it just echoed in

there. Wow, Gaylor, thisguy was getting around back in the day.
So, how so you've been marriedtwenty five years? Of this one?
What was the longest one of theother three? Uh, probably the
second one, and that was sixyear six years man, So he didn't

waste any time squeezing out cabbages oncehe got Are you getting married because you
got these women pregnant? No?Well it's okay. I mean there's nobody,
nobody can tell you you're not youknow, I mean, uh wow,

okay, well listen, at leastyou I ended up falling in all
right, Well, I'm glad itfinally. Fourth time is a charm.
That's what Larry King said. Okay, Lord, so h uh she's she's

my doll. You know, she'sa nurse practitioner that takes care of geriatric
So I'm I've got it made.Oh boy, she can she can never
leave her work at work. Shewow. All right, you're not going
to have any more kids, areyou, gay Lord? No, I

don't know. I mean Picasso washaving him into his eighties. You're a
modern day Picasso. I asked somethingelse. No, no, no,
no, my equipment is uh putaway, it's inoperative. Yeah yeah,

yeah, yeah. Okay, listen, gay Lord, glad you're doing well.
Uh, give your wife our giveall four of your wives our best
if you run into them. Okay, I love you all you you mean
in the world to me, allof you. Gaylord has already told us

he falls in love easily. SoI'll tell you what these little uh yeah,
these little sentiments, they're meaning lessand less. Okay, thank you,
gay Lord? We we h weuh it was like hearing from you.
How about that that we didn't knowthat, did we? No?
I didn't know that fourth wise,and he's a player. He was a

player, a play up man leavingin every time. He's just giving away
all your crap every few years.He's constantly writing a check unless he's he
can't stand a prenup. He's notgonna put him in Lorraine County. What
are you talking a prenup? Youdon't have to be rich to get a

prenup. A prenup just says nobody'sgetting anybody's stuff once this is over.
Yeah, but you got to payfor people don't have any money, aren't
paying to have a prenup done?How much is a prenup? You still
got to get somebody to do it. Assuming he doesn't have any money,
because nothing on he's told us.He's like, I don't think he's ever
said that. Well he lives.I don't know where he lives in Wellington,

right, that's pretty wow, prettycounty. As you're getting JG.
Pennypacker vibes off of gay Lord.You tell him yo, Okay, you
don't know, you're right. Idon't know anything about him. All I
do know you have a bunch ofkids. I'm saying anybody with three ex
wives isn't rolling in dough because hehad to give it all away. And

all I'm saying is maybe he didn'tgive it all away. Maybe they cheated
on him and he got half theircrap. Yeah, he's got a bunch
of lamps and tables and all allthe other curtains. Yeah, all right,
now you could be right. I'malways right. Not today, Let's
say that not today in summertime meansspears, barbecues, and fishing the occasional

drunk friend out of the lake whilehe searches for his arm. Why,
Barty, you find that he's theAlan Cox Show. Guardians Baseball tonight at

eight forty. It's the third ofthree against the Rockies out there in Denver,
and they came back hard last night. They lost that first one.
Thirteen to seven was the Guardian's winlast night, and they're hoping to close
it out with another win tonight.So eight forty on MMS and on the
iHeartRadio app Guardians Baseball before they comehome for the weekend and next week the

host the Nationals and then the KansasCity Royals, and Guardians are still killing
it. Thirty seven and eighteen,Only the Yankees and the Phillies are better.
Right now? The Rockies are notgreat. So that first game that

they lost to Denver, I wassurprised. But what are you gonna do?
Hey, if you listen to uson iHeartRadio, tell me where you
are. If it's out of state. Seawn's in Indianapolis, Brayley is in
Denver, Joe is in Dallas.With those storms in Dallas, Jesus,
Mary is going to be in Austin. We have a lot of people done

in Austin. She is going tobe down there Friday and Saturday. So
that when you're performing in Austin.I think that's when she's performing in Austin.
Why do I not hear her?I don't know where she went on

the life stream. Oh okay,well maybe she's having a pish big doom.
I mean, I hope that's notthe case. I know tomorrow she's
leaving mid show. She's got toget to Austin. But I'm here.
Sorry, I got cornered. There'sone employee here that I really don't like,

and every time he's around this happens. Of course it's a I can't
stand him. Why don't you navigate? Why don't you manipulate him into getting
you on the email list. Idon't want I don't even think he knows
what email is. Who is he? I'm not saying his name, No,
not the name. What's his position? I don't know. Hey,
iHeart New York. Won't even putyou on the email list because they think

that you're not They don't realize we'reall one company. Yeah, so I
wouldn't worry about mentioning this guy.We're not going to know who he is.
What is he an engineer? Idon't know what he does. I
don't even know what the call lettersof the station. Let me see what
they do. What is he onthe air, the voice of New York

WR, of the news talk station. Okay, so then that's that's us.
WR is in that building seven onezero w Yeah, oh, I
didn't know seven one zero. Ididn't know w R was US. I
don't think he's on air. Okay, I'm trying to look. He usually
comes in right around this time,and I can usually avoid him. Yeah.

I don't know if he does productionor what he does, but he's
creepy. That's work. It's exactlywhat I did. They don't understand,
like he caught me because I hadmy back turn and I was washing out
my tupperware from my food that Ibrought, and he like came behind me
in the kitchen and he stands tooclose and he smells weird and he's got
I just there's nothing about this guy. Wow, he's probably a producer.

I mean, I don't know.That's just more it's just right wing AM
radio. It's like TAM they runthe same shows. But he's probably a
producer or something, or like aphone screen or maybe it just makes me
feel so uncomfortable. Wow. Andit's not even like he's never hitting on
me. It's just I don't knowif men get that same vibe from I

don't know if this is a feelingmen get. But the only way I
can describe it is that I justfeel like and he's like not a young
dude. So it's not that Ifear for my safety and that he could
hurt me, but he's just veryhe has a very uns at a NK
presence, awkward vibe like it.And he's never again, never done anything,
never made an advance, nothing likethat. But just like the way
that he looks at women, theway that he talks too close, not

a guy you want to talk tofor a lot of guy, I want
to be around it. What didhe corner you with? Nothing? Well,
the no dishwasher here. I'm like, get away from me. And
then he's like you turn your faceand he's right there. Dude, take
a step back, brother, whatare you doing? Well, if he's
an older guy, then he's probablynot a producer. He's probably on the
air. I don't know. Idon't think that he is. Does he
have dyed hair? No, maybehe's a I don't know what the hell

he is. I don't know whathe is either. Well, I mentioned
you're going to Austin. Sorry,I am going. And they had terrible,
terrible storms in Dallas. There's abouta just shy of a million people
in Dallas that don't have power becauseof course they you know, Texas is
always whining about seceding from the Union. Well they seceded from the national power

grid a while ago, and yousee how well that's going. So they
had massive storms in Dallas. Soyou always feel awful for the people living
there. But man, oh man, pop some popcorn for when the governor
starts begging Biden for federal assistance.Man, that's fun. But Texas is

also, and you'll be happy toknow, because I love Texas. If
come down there, have a goodtime. It is the stickiest state,
and I think that's worth hanging arounddown there doing some shows in the stickiest
state. I don't like it.They and you think, oh, well,
sure, Alan, it's human it'sthe weather. I don't know that

that's what they're talking about. I'msure that's part of it, but I
don't know that that's what they're talkingabout. It's people who live down there.
They love it down there. Theydon't care that they're getting flooded out
on the coast, right. They'relike, ah, there's cool stuff to
do, and you fit. Whenyou're in tech, you you kind of

feel yourself marinated in that vibe andyou look around and you go, yeah,
I get it. There's a lotof weird, a lot of unsettling.
But that's true anywhere Texas. Youland and you're like, I'm go
get myself some cowboy boots at afarmer's market. It's no state income tax,

but the trade off it's very sticky. So just keep that in mind
when you're down there. Bring somenon stick pads with you. I'll make
sure that you're gonna be at CapCity. Yeah. People are asking me
what comedy club in Austin, Texas. Can't put a link on my story
if you want to grab tickets orjust Capcitycomedy dot com. Oh boy,

yeah there's a dial. You knowDylan Carlino. He's an Austin comic.
He's pretty funny. He's got acouple of things going around the internet right
now, Alan, can you playsome of the warning? I've never heard
them. I don't know if you'retrolling or not, because we play sick
quite a bit. But I dolike the song from the warning. Okay,

we're the warning your iHeart. Nope, okay, we're the warning.
Just give me the goddamn song.Okay, just pulled up on YouTube.

Hey we're an artist. You shouldknow. Well, can you start playing
your song then? On the vergeartist? Because I like this? Yeah,

I like it too. Again,they blew up on YouTube ten years
ago when they were little kids.They did a They did a cover of
Enner Sandman and went crazy viral.Literally huh Huhobian the Cindy lu Hubian.
Oh she grew up pretty yeah,yeah, yeah, pretty right? Kind
of something like that, right.Well, I mean, any any band

that's got a female singing is gonnasound a little similar if it's rock and
roll, you know. But Imean, these girls aren't even twenty one
yet, you know. Yeah,they're pretty good. I like that.
I haven't heard the rest of thealbum, but like what they're doing.

Alan. It seems like the womenhaven't had any controversy giving these commencement addresses.
Interesting. Jennifer Coolidge, you knowwho she is. She's foxy,
man. I don't care what hismom says, A Stiffler's mom. Stiffler's
mom, right. I always thinkof her from the Christopher Guest movies.
She was invest in show and shewas in a Mighty Wind. You know,

She's always this super ditzy chick.She was in Seinfeld back in the
day before she had she said alittle bit of work down her face,
but blond, legally blonde. Jerrywas dating a massage therapist and he couldn't
get her to give him a massage, and she didn't like George, and
George was just desperate for her tolike. But she gave the commencement address

at Washington University in Saint Louis curioushow people get picked. She can go
there. She's from Boston, Ithink or went to college in Boston.
At least you think that's what itis. You think they get paid to
do it. Yes, well,well because they're given an honorary degree,
like she gets a doctor in afine arts So that's why they're wearing the

robe and the thing. But usuallythe school hits the person up for money.
They go, hey, we'd loveto give you a we love you
to do our commencement address. Couldyou see your way around a donation to
the university. It's usually the otherway for them. Well, you're talking
to a bunch of kids, Giveus money and give a speech. What

actor doesn't want to address a massivegroup of people. I don't feel like
a lot, don't, Yeah,Class twenty twenty four. Don't run from
yourself like I did. Instead,choose radical self acceptance and compassion. Dare

to be what you really want tobe. You know, whether it's the
social norm or not. You know, I stand before you as a weird
person. Get to know yourself,accept who you are, and love that
person because this is the moment youalready are everything you need to be.

Class of twenty twenty four. Congratulationsyou made it. Yeah, she's always
kind of doing I like to hearher using her actual voice, because she's
always kind of doing you know how, like Maria Bamford kind of puts on
a little voice. Jennifer cool Isis kind of always doing that too.
She does like an exaggerated version ofherself. Yeah, but it's like more

of like a baby doll thing.Sometimes. She was real good in the
White Lotus. I think there werea lot of people in the neighbor one
with the than the Watcher. Wasthat what was called? Yeah, yeah,
right, we watched that whole thing. And then there's no briggin ending.
God, I hate that more thananything. No ending drives me nuts.

I just remember reading that story.Initially it had been written in like
a New Jersey paper or the NewYork Times or something about the letters and
so, yeah, when they droppedthat, that was a couple of years
ago. It was on Netflix.It was only like a year or two
ago because I was living with Brian. Well we watched it, yeah,
maybe years ago, but they renewedit for a second season. So I

don't know what's happening with that becauseyou don't know who that guy, That's
what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, well no, for people who don't
know the story, there's a storyabout that. It was a true story
about this married couple in New Jerseywho moves into this huge house, this
massive like their dream house, right, and they start getting letters signed by

a person who just signs the watcherand they don't know where they're coming from,
and it's driving them crazy. Theyreally did kind of amp up the
drama in this mini series in thetrue story, like, nobody gets hurt,
nothing, you know, it wasjust really creepy. Nobody in the
neighborhood knew what was going on.They just knew that whoever had lived in

this house had been getting letters likethis for a long time. And so
the premise is very interesting because it'sa true story. But they really didn't
do much. Yeah, they theyalmost so much to do, you know
what I mean. Well, that'sthe trouble because if you read that story,
the story was called the Haunting,the Haunting of a dream House.

I think it might have been inNew York magazine. But so it was
interesting, but yeah, there's noresolution because they don't know where the letters
are coming from. So when theysaid they were going to make a thing
of it, I was like,Oh, that's a cool story as a
jumping off point. But they hadto lean so far into the they had
to over dramatize it, and Iwas like, well, I think that

lead. That lead guy's hot forlike an Bobby Can. Yeah, he's
hot. It's married to Rose Burn. Yeah, he's good and everything.
I like him, like him alot too. He was an old Dad's
the Bill Burrd movie. Yeah,yep. And he was in Paul Blart
Mall Cup obviously, which v yeah, so in that. It was this

ten nine Perfect Strangers with uh thatwas a few years ago too, with
Nicole Kidman. I didn't see thatPerfect Strangers something nine Perfect Strangers. Yeah.
I used to watch a show calledBoardwalk Empire. He was in that.
He was real good. And Vinylhe was in Nurse Jacket. Oh
got Vinyl with Ray Romano. Iread what what was uh? What was
Ray on that show? Oh,record producer, We're gonna radio stickers on?

I remember it's been a while,it has been a while, Yeah,
yep, it was it was whatare you doing on the radio?
Yeah, yep. Vinyl great showone season, they're given the dumbest shows

multiple seasons and vinyl. They go, nah, it was too expensive,
Like what because they had renewed it. It was one of those shows where
they announced it got renewed a lotof music, Like are they having to
pay for a lot of music?Right? Yeah, but you know that
going in expensive. But you knowthat going in. But you know you
know that going in. But ifyou're not getting people watching it, they

go, well, it's not worthpaying for all this stuff if no one's
gonna stick with it. Right.But I but I never understand when they
renew a show and then reverse therenewal. That was also around the time
of the merger. I think wasit the I think that's when AT and
T bought that they were trying towrite off a bunch of stuff. Well,
I think because HBO got acquired byAT and T around the time that

show was on, and then eventuallyDiscovery and Warner Brothers that became that big
congloerate. But I think they werejust a casualty of that first AT and
T purchase. Yeah, that wasSpring of twenty sixteen, eight years ago.
That was on God damn, youknow what I just watched that was
awesome. Uh, Black Stallion,No National Velvet, No, Cleopatra nope.

Darby O'Gill and the Little People.I'll let you guess forever. Doctor
nop, Moonraker nop. Is ita movie or a TV show? TV
show on Netflix, Moonraker or theTV show? Nope? Baby Reindeer Nope.
Already watched that one. Ashley Madisonone, Nope. That John Mulaney,
Everyone's in La the documentary or sitcomsitcom, Will and Grace Brooklyn ninety

nine. No, it's us.Yes, that is not funny. I
thought it was. It is notin between both of you as people really
like it at all. People reallywant to like Shane Gillis and loved it.
And the thing is, I don't. I mean, he's a good
writer. I don't love his standup. But I was like, you

know, it's a sitcom. There'sit's he's not the only writer. Let's
see what it is. And Iwatched all six of them back to back
to back to back the other daybecause it was raining and I didn't have
anything else to do. They're onlytwenty minutes. I loved it. I
thought it was great. I thoughtit was just exactly like it was funny,
but like it felt like it wasn'twritten at all. It was written,

I'm sure it was, but itcertainly didn't read like it was written.
It was like they were just Iwas just sitting around and find how
it's supposed to feel. Well,I feel like that. I don't mean
natural and organic. I mean itfelt like it wasn't written. I disagree,
like there was no care taken inthe dialogue. I think that's the
point of it is that they're like, we want this to feel like a

bunch of dopes working at an automechanic show. I guess I didn't think
it was funny. I really enjoyedit. The problem I have with it
is they're so bad at their jobs, and I'm like, can you just
do better at your job? Ican't. I get that that's the point,
but it doesn't. But it doesn'tmake me feel good about what they're
doing, like I can handle likethe office, like there's some redeeming qualities,

like make Michael's not a great manager, but he's a great salesman,
so okay, that's why he's wherehe's at. Uh show, Like Detroiters,
they're just goofballs. Uh, andso I like that, but this
one, they're so bad at theirjob. Like, man, this seems
ridiculous that this place would be openas long as it's been open. That's

literally the entire point is I knowthat. I'm like, that's but that's
why I don't That's why I don'tfeel like they should be open, Like
they don't even deserve their jobs.They're so bad at it. Well,
they already renewed it for a secondseason. Mary, I really enjoyed it.
There's definitely some like laugh like momentswhere I laughed, but overall I
thought it was just like it was. It was okay, it was fun.

I had a good time watching it, but it's not, uh like
my favorite thing I've ever watched.I don't know who that guy is,
by the way, the dude atthe radio station. Oh, I don't
either. I don't think he's onthe air. Well that's what I'm saying.
I don't know what he does,but I don't like it when he's

around. I'm serious, Like,I don't feel good, No, I
feel you. There's some people andhow you get onto the New York uh
mailing this because you'd be like Hey, I want to make an HR complain
about this guy rcause either I workhere, right don't, So you got
to make up your mind one wayor another. Well, that's like I

said, he's not he's not harassingme, but he's still making you uncomfortable.
And that's not I think that's justwho he is. Yeah, that's
not the end of the world.It's just you don't that's not somebody you
want to get cornered into a conversation. I don't think he could do anything
to make me feel comfortable. Hisentire presence is uncomfortable. The only way
I feel comfortable is if he's notaround. And I again, I don't

run into him often. He's usuallycoming in around five o'clock, so it's
like I don't see him much.She sees you weird old, I know,
and he has that look and hedoesn't close his mouth all the way.
It's so cross I get this day. Maybe he's maybe he's a nighttime
engineer. I don't know what.He's too old to be good at technology,

and I know that's agist, butlike he walks with a cane.
Well maybe he works for the building. No, because he introduces himself by
his name, and you really likeif you walked around, you're like Alan
WMMS. That's how this guy is, and that's that is what I do
Bill, I mean, yeah,I introduce myself. It says, Hi,

I'm Alan Cox from the Alan Cocksurehundred point SEVENO. You've probably heard
of me and the Anywhere for Freeon the Heart radio app. Well,
and then he goes and also,I host the two Hours to Midnight and
my birthday is and then he sayshis birthday, which is what. I
don't know what you're talking about.Who's helping out today? By the way,

who's helping out today? On thelive stream? June twenty third,
twenty third. Yeah, that's there'sa name. Boomtchat got him. I
don't know who that guy is,but it might be. And you didn't

go, oh, what do youdo here? Just to get that little
bit of information, I think youshould out creepy him. I don't.
I don't think that's hard. Hegoes into close talk. You get even
closer because I don't like or something. No, absolutely, are you feeling
this? Are are we vibing rightnow? Are we vibing? Yeah?

Well, I'm curious, what doyou do here. No, you don't
want to engage in then, becausethen he's really yeah, then he's gonna
talk to you every time. Whereyou're gonna get food sometime. Do you
want a sip of coffee for mythermis? I don't. I really don't
picking out a thermis for you.Call the Alan Cox Show. I'm sure

it'll work for people on vacation whenthey don't have to do something, but
I can't imagine it working on aday to day basis. Here two one
six seven eight one double O seventhree four eight one double oh seven.

Christine of Blondie coming on the showin June, excited to talk to him,
one of the founding members of thatband. He's got a memoir about
the band out called Under a Rock. Debbie Harry pretty much defined what that
band looked like, but Chris Steinto find what that band sounded like,

and they sold tens of millions ofrecords along the way. One of my
big regrets was never having gotten tosee Blondie when they were all together,
and then about twenty years ago whenthey did that reunion thing, they did
a surprise show. I was inNew York for the VMAs and they would

have these industry shows every night inthese clubs, and you had to get
an invitation. They wouldn't tell youwho the band was. One night it
was Blondie, and I was besidemyself. I was so happy because there
are so many other bands I'm eithertoo young to have seen, you know,
I led Zeppelin or anything like that, but Blondie was one of those
bands that I was just so sohappy to see. So Christine, I'm

gonna be on the show in June. Still nailing that down. Excited to
talk to him. Your Cleveland Guardiansare in Denver tonight, hoping to wrap
up that series against the Rockies witha win. They hammered him last night
after that first game loss thirteen toseven. Was the Cleveland win last night.
Eight forty eight forty is your firstpitch. Tonight eight ten is the

pregame Hammy and Rosie and the wholeHeathaw gang. And then the Guardians come
home for the weekend Friday, Saturday, Sunday against the Nationals, Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday hosting the Kansas CityRoyals before they go to Miami to play
the Marlins. I was reading aboutTom. I don't know if anybody else
on the show watches the program Mayorof Kingstown, I'm sure I've talked about

it before. It's over there onParamount Plus. It's a Jeremy Renner show
where he kind of like this fixer. It's a fictionalized version of a town
that I think is supposed to bea stand in for Detroit. I think
they shoot it in Pittsburgh because whenhe was recovering, he said that the
trips back and forth were too muchfor him, so he just stayed in

Pittsburgh for four months. I thinkthey shot it there. But everybody remembers
what happened to Jeremy Renner. Hegot run over by that SnowCat a couple
of years ago. Did they haveto they had to write that into the
show? Like, I don't thinkso. I can't believe he was back
to work so soon. I mean, the third season of this show premier's
Sunday Night, so they shot anentire season again. I don't know the

particulars. Would he be like ina cast or crutches or a wheelchair or
something something. Yeah, I don'tknow. I don't know how they'll write
it in if they will, Buthe's been doing a lot of press for
it and talking about how, like, you know, I was working too
hard on this show in this season. I was working too many hours.

I was working too many days ina row. I was like falling asleep.
You know. It's like I wastechnically still recovering. I wanted to
get back to work. I mean, this is just January of last year
that this happened. He's up therein the mountains. This snowplow runs him
over, like a fourteen thousand poundsnowplow, and he broke forty bones and

he collapses lung. This dude wasin bad shape. I mean, there
were people that didn't think Jeremy Rennerwas going to live. But This Mayor
of Kingstown is a great show.It's very entertaining and it premieres Sunday,
and I think they started shooting itin January, so they shot it pretty

quickly. I don't know if theyshot around him or what, until you
know, he showed up. Buthe was like I was falling asleep.
And he's talked about how he understandsthat technically he's going to be in recovery
for the rest of his life becausehe's like initially they told me I'd never
walk again. But you know,and again, Jeremy Renner seems to have

come to maybe some new conclusions aboutlife, because the rap on this dude
was that he was a real prick, that he thought he should have been
a much bigger deal than he was, that he was like kind of mad,
that he was the lamest avenger,He was not good to the women
in his life. He took therole anybody would, well, yeah,

anybody would, but like, youknow, you're going to be the lamest
avenger. So like you had agreat Disney plush showy had won the Best
Disney Plus Show. It was betterthan it needed to be. Yeah,
And so it seems like maybe he'skind of come to some different conclusions that
a near death experience would probably giveanyone. But he's like, you know,

I'm never going to be like Iwas before this accident, but you
know, I'm just trying to gethealthier every day. The thing that jumped
out at me though, that Ifelt was very interesting is that in the
midst of all this other stuff,he developed a photographic memory, which obviously

is very telling me that he gotinjured and developed a more powerful brain like
brain, That's what he said.Yeah, so like he's he's an ex
men, he's just he's a realsuperhero. Now. Well, I mean,
yeah, he said, one ofthe eyeballs that came out of one

of my eyes came out of myhead, and he said, and I
have I've ended up with better visionin that eye than the other eye.
I fixed it off, got allthe dirt off the back of it.
He just blew on the cartridge andput it back in. But I mean,
if you're an actor that's going tomemorized dialogue, imagine having a photographic

memory. So yeah, out ofall the other stuff, that would be
pretty cool. I'd love to havea photographic memory. My memory is so
bad that, or I should say, my memory only operates with the dumbest
crap. I don't know what locksin my brain and what doesn't, but

I would God if I could havea photographic memory. What does Mary Lou
Henner have? You know who MaryLou Henner is? Look at this photograph.
She was Elaine on Taxi in theseventies. She's done things since then.
But I mean, she's a prettyprolific actress. She's a Chicago girl.

So like she would. You know, she was always doing theater as
a younger actress. She was inmovies and television shows and blah blah blah.
But she has something called she remembersevery day of her life since she
was eleven. That's too much.They did a thing on sixty Minutes on

her like fifteen years ago, whereshe has a superior autobiographical memory, and
she's like, it's not like Iremember every single moment. She goes,
But if somebody said to me,what were you doing or what day of
the week was January eleventh, nineteenseventy nine, I would be able to

tell you. What's the point ofthat? She said, her mind is
like having a movie running, Soshe's not remember. It's called hyperthymesia,
is what she has. So she'slike, on the one hand, you
know, you can close your eyesand they'll go whether they do these tests,

you can close your eyes and they'llgo, Okay, what are we
wearing? And she goes and Iwon't be able to tell you. But
if somebody goes, what happened,what were you doing on April to twelfth,
nineteen eighty seven, It's like Iwill be able to tell you like,
that's wild, crazy want that,because then you can't block out the

bad stuff, Eh, block outthe beast stuff. I mean, you
know, most people done something.Most people are blocking out the bad stuff.
I'd rather take the other stuff,just I'd rather take all of it.
But I don't know. It's likeshe got hit in the head or
I don't know what I'm saying.I don't know if she has had this
her whole life. Well, itsounds like since she was eleven. When

they say that, when they're like, you only use ten percent of your
brain and then you have some kindof a crazy, you know, injury
that unlocks the other forty percent ofit, and then you're like, wow,
you're well unlocks another forty percent ofit. I know you said the
other forty percent. Also, theten percent thing is uh, I think
that's whatever it is. You're notusing one hundred percent of it, right,

So there's so much going on.There's so much potential in there that
nobody gets to Yeah, even ifa ten percent is wrong, if I'm
not using one hundred percent, whocares, right, how much of her
brain do we use? So?Yeah, anytime you see because Mary,
I remember my mom used to buyMary Lou Hunter books, because before this
whole thing got I guess more public, she was writing all these books about

like, you know, health bookslike Cut Sugar Out of Your Life and
all that kind of suff She wasreally early on that. And she's in
good shape. She's like seventy twoyears old, so looks good. But
this memory thing, that's fascinating tome. If somebody was like, hey,
Mary, what happened on March thethird, nineteen ninety two, and

you go three years old, right, and you'd be able to tell her,
no, I have my hand onmy diapers or whatever. You know.
I don't know, but if youhave to memorize, I don't know
if it works for her memorizing dialogue. But Renner, now he's got that
photographic memory. More more of anauditory learner myself, where if I hear

something over and over again, it'smore likely for me to remember it than
if I were to read it.Same if you well, I mean,
my wife is always listening to books. I can't listen to books. I
have to remember tried to listen toa book. Yeah, But if I
have to memorize something, listens toso many books, she's like, no,

no, no, just she's plowingthrough books because she listens to them.
If I have to memorize lines orsomething like that, I will record
myself, uh, saying them,like reading them, and then just play
it over and over and over againuntil it sticks. Because if I just
read it over and over again,it'll never it'll never stay in my mind.
Hmm. I mean in a situationlike that, it might be better

to listen to yourself because you thenyou kind of know where the beats and
the inflections are by came with anything. Oh, like, if you're say,
like, if I say, like, if I'm trying to back in
the day when we tried to memorizephone numbers, it would be that thing
where I'd say it out loud abunch of times and then it would store
in my brain. But if Ijust looked at it nothing, or if

I recite things a bunch of times. Yeah, but when you lock in
using a phone number as an example, when you look at a phone number,
even if you're not saying it outloud, you're kind of counting it
in your head. Yeah, butthat's not the same as physically saying saying
it out loud. Is saying itso I can hear it is what I
see, It's is what lots andit makes it real. All right,

Well, I think that the soI don't know what the condition of Jeremy
Runner is, but that Mayor ofKingstown is a real good show. Do
you do better? Yeah? Consideringas far as people I know run over
by a tractor, he's doing reallywell. Out of all the people I've
ever known who've been run over bya tractor, he's taken the top spot.

Uh. They're still trying to getpeople to not pay too close attention
to the AI enhanced search that Googlehas incorporated so bad, We like,
have they paid like a billion dollarsto Reddit? Right? They go,
well, we're incorporating Reddit's knowledge base. I'm like, boy, that's a

fancy way to describe a huge poolof edge lords the knowledge base at Reddit.
No wonder you're having problems. Onelady did make the glue pizza though,
because Google AI was telling people touse glue if the chee what do
I do if the cheese is slidingoff? My pizza said use glue,
and one lady uses edible. Shemade the glue pizza and she's like,

oh, cheese didn't slide off.Elmer's is edible, I mean it's non
toxic. Well those are two differentthings. But like you can eat it
and it's not going to make yousick, so you can put because frigging
kids is sticking it in their mouth. Yeah, so yeah, we're again,
we're all being used as guinea pigsfor this. And yeah, I

would think that anybody chance, yeahto take over. Well bing was was
on this first really being got theAI thing first chance. People. Yeah,
people had already written bing off somuch that I don't even think it
resonated. And so there were examplesof questions people were typing into Google to

see what the AI would kick back. Somebody wrote, our parachutes effective and
by the way, for people touse a lot of Google Search, you
can turn this off. You canjust get you know, web results,
because this as it is now,this AI is only going to make search
worse. The response to a persongot about effective the effectiveness of parachutes was

the answer was, parachutes are nomore effective than backpacks at preventing death or
major injury when jumping from an airplane. So there you go. But we
said they're Perfect How does Sandy Cheeksdie? You know that character from SpongeBob.
Sandy Cheeks dies by suicide from adrug overdose including cocaine, heroin,

and alcohol perfect love. Ye,Sandy was found unconscious with cuts on her
arms and shoulders and cocaine nearby.Yeah, the Lost SpongeBob episodes. She
I mean there's a reason she movedunderwater trying to escape her demons in that
giant fish bowl. Do funions outsell responsibility? Uns? I know we're

not talking about SpongeBob, but Imean it came up, did you guys?
I heard recently that SpongeBob was basedon the Seven Deadly Sins? Have
you guys ever heard that that?Steven Hillenberg wrote it as each character represents
a different deadly sin, And likethat is one of like the underlying teachings
of SpongeBob. That like mister Crabsis greed, Plankton is envy, Patrick

is sloth. That sounds like acoincidence that somebody put together. Dude,
But when you think about it,like all make it. Yeah, they're
all representative. Pride is Sandy whata SpongeBob? I don't remember. Gluttney
is Gary because he's hungry all thetime. SpongeBob's lost? Is he lost?

Love for all things? Yeah,Plankton is uh, mister crabs envy
Plankton, Sloth is Gary, Prideis Sandy, Sloth is Gary, or
sloth is Gary, Sloth is Garyand is Gluttney? Yeah? They I
had him mixed up. Squid wordis wrath and SpongeBob is lost. Isn't

that crazy to think about? WhenI was like, oh man, that's
like to whatever we were talking yesterdayabout. What's too much of a coincidence
that fits too perfectly for it tonot. I don't think if it's as
perfectly as you think, like,think about all of all of every episode
that like of SpongeBob being lust in, I mean, okay in a sexual

sense. I understand things and peopleand ideas, and I think it's an
interesting theory. I doubt that thatwas in any way part of the creation
of those characters. You have noidea though. I don't religious, I
really don't, or it used tobe religious to raise I mean, like,
I don't know the religious background ofthe creator of SpongeBob. We can't
ask him because he's dead and nowhe's dead. So now what, I

don't know. It's in the greatbeyond, just saying something to think about.
Is it? All I'm saying isconnecting dots. That's it. I'm
pretty sure done thinking about this.Well, he was a connect He was
a marine biology professor. Ah,And he wrote and illustrated a book about

animals, about marine animals that heused to educate the students. And then
he left to pursue a career inanimation, and he began developing his picture
book into SpongeBob shorts. Maybe hehad some demons of his own that he
had to get out on paper.Maybe he did. Maybe he did.

I don't know. I don't seeanything in here about his religious affiliation.
But yeah, okay. Maybe oneof his reference books was the Google book.
I mean, maybe you're honestly calledthe good little book, good old
book. Why can't am? Iam I slurring my words today? What
sounded like you said, good littlebook? I mean it could be a

good little book if you give onelittle pocket sized ones. He died of
lou Gerrigg's disease. Ah, whatyou know, one of those deadly sins
there. I don't know anything aboutLou Garritt. Either you might have been
full of lust. And now Imust leave you, as the Brady bunch

is on and I find four ofthose children incredibly arousing. Get at it.
Be careful of what you say,Be careful in every way, Be
careful of what you do. BigBrother is watching you. Be circumspect and

discreet, Stay light on your mentalfeet. One slip and you know who
you're through. Big Brother is watchingyou. And with all narratives, remember
obedience paid. And when you watchthat DV screens, remember it works both

ways. You diss appear in awink. Unless you can double think,
you'll vanish into the blue. BigBrother is watching you.
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