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The Alan Cox Show

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
The Federal Communications Commission has determined the following content to
be emotionally harmful.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Funny.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
Things that you think is funny aren't funny.

Speaker 4 (00:10):
Gim me Cox all the time, con Coxshow kicks flash man,
he'lo welcome, show me what you go.

Speaker 5 (00:19):
I can see a lot of cocks on TV.

Speaker 6 (00:21):
Allen Cox from me, Alan Coo.

Speaker 7 (00:22):
I don't know what's about.

Speaker 6 (00:23):
You, but I can't even sad.

Speaker 8 (00:26):
This would be a crazy So let's take coffee and
you'll get eight with a safety group.

Speaker 9 (00:32):
Okay, one till three?

Speaker 6 (00:36):
Okay, Tom God David put you one time ticket.

Speaker 10 (00:40):
What Allen Cox?

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Here we go, He'll add, he'll be trying.

Speaker 11 (00:44):
It's the Allen Cox Show on one hundred point seven
double U.

Speaker 12 (00:48):
M M as.

Speaker 6 (01:03):
Play what's going on again? Good afternoon' hi readings, welcome, salutations,
all that. My name is Alan Cox. Thank you for
being here. Heavy Wednesday. Say hi to Bill Squire. He's
right there. Hey, creepy hood Mary Santora is in midtown Manhattan.
What kind of day is today in Maryland?

Speaker 7 (01:26):
Sleepy?

Speaker 6 (01:27):
Oh?

Speaker 10 (01:29):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (01:29):
You guys had the big thing last night, your roommates
and your roommate's mom. Yes, at the casino and the Poconos. Yes,
returning to the scene of the crime. Did you win
some money? Did you win any money?

Speaker 10 (01:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:42):
Last time Mary was there all right to the means.

Speaker 13 (01:46):
No, No, I didn't win any money, but I spent
just my preplay.

Speaker 7 (01:50):
My roommate's mom hit for forty five hundred bucks.

Speaker 6 (01:53):
What is going on out there?

Speaker 7 (01:55):
Like, come on it.

Speaker 6 (01:56):
I could play a casino all day long and I win.

Speaker 14 (01:59):
There you episode, So we have to go out to
the Pocono because.

Speaker 7 (02:04):
I gamble Psylvania.

Speaker 5 (02:10):
Second, are you still self banned in the keys?

Speaker 6 (02:12):
In in the what stated of this? God damn Buckeye Say,
are you still realself banned?

Speaker 13 (02:18):
Well, you have to go take yourself off the list.
And I just never did, never got around to it.
I was banned for a year and then I never Yeah,
I never got around.

Speaker 6 (02:26):
So you could go in there and be like, hey,
I want to unband myself.

Speaker 7 (02:28):
Yes, but then it takes a week to.

Speaker 6 (02:30):
Process, okay, and she can't wait seven seven to ten
business days.

Speaker 13 (02:34):
Well, they do that on purpose, so that way when
you go in there, you're not all hopped up trying
to gamble and they're like you.

Speaker 7 (02:42):
Have to wait to gamble. Uh huh, yeah, Well.

Speaker 6 (02:44):
If you're living in New York and going to Pennsylvania,
who cares if you've banned yourself in Ohio? Correct, Yeah,
I can gamble everywhere else. So she hit for forty five.
So she's very pleased. Oh, she's she's so happy.

Speaker 7 (02:56):
She's like, thank you so much for taking me there.
I really needed that. She's like just the sweet lady.

Speaker 13 (03:00):
And for anybody who wasn't listening last week, my roommate's
mom visited her last weekend and had to have emergency
appendix removal.

Speaker 5 (03:09):
Yeah, appendect, I mean they took.

Speaker 13 (03:11):
Yeah, so she's been she can't fly out until Sundays.
So what was supposed to be a three day trip
is now like an eleven day trip to New York City.

Speaker 6 (03:20):
So she's like those she's like those astronauts that are
stuck up there. Yes, they were supposed to go see
the crow. They were supposed to be up there. Imagine
you're going on a trip and you think you're going
to be in space pretty cool for eight days, right?

Speaker 5 (03:35):
Are you keeping up with us? This NASA thing?

Speaker 6 (03:37):
Like when they can't bring these astronauts back they were
supposed to be up there for eight days, and they're
going to be up there for two hundred.

Speaker 5 (03:42):
And forty days, like they're not.

Speaker 6 (03:44):
I mean, even if you're an astronaut, right, you'd go
frigging sir crazy. I mean, you've done all your tests,
and obviously astronauts are very they have an iron constitution
physically and mentally. But still, even if you're an astronaut,
you're at that level, you're like, I'm going up there
for eight days, it'll be a routine thing. Yeah, you
have not prepared yourself for two hundred and forty days.

(04:06):
You'd go nuts, wear dude. I mean, even during COVID
you could walk outside your house, right, you can't go
outside when you're up in space. So she gets forty
five hundred bucks off the mission. Was it a hot machine?
How much money did she spend?

Speaker 7 (04:20):
I don't know because my roommate and I her mom
pretty much immediately we went up to.

Speaker 13 (04:25):
The room, dropped our stuff off, and she's like, all right, girls,
i'll see you later. I'm going downstairs. And so Sarah
and I did that. We made a video titled Your
Casino Ants, which is up on my Instagram. And if
you have anyone in your family who gambles.

Speaker 7 (04:39):
You have to watch this video. We killed it.

Speaker 13 (04:40):
It's so funny, and it's also like only about ten
percent of character and the other one since her recording
me at the machines getting all excited, but we like
dressed up and we're the thing. That's the line that
is towed in this video is hurting my ow feelings

(05:00):
because I have to accept the fact that I'm thirty five,
I'm the unmarried aunt who has expendable income. Like the
person I am mocking in this video is one hundred
percent me, right.

Speaker 6 (05:13):
So when Sara, I was by design, by the way,
you're a childless cat lady. You are the bane of
jd Vance's existence, happily.

Speaker 13 (05:21):
So when Sarah and I were writing this, she was like,
I don't really know, and I was like, I'm coming up.

Speaker 7 (05:25):
Just boom boom boom boom boom.

Speaker 13 (05:27):
Ideas off the bat, and I was like, honestly, dude,
I'm a little upset that this is just kind of
who I am. And then also all of the clothes
that we're wearing to look like your like middle aged
single ants all came out of my closet that I've
worn in the last two years. So she's like, you
know what, I'm just gonna accept that this is who
I am now I'm not.

Speaker 6 (05:47):
I mean, you are a middle age when thirty age
you are an ant. Yeah, thirty five, this is me.

Speaker 7 (05:53):
I am the casino ant now.

Speaker 13 (05:55):
It's not because when we originally had the idea, we
were thinking of like ladies in their sixties or seventies,
and I was like the.

Speaker 5 (06:01):
Ladies ladies getting bussed in.

Speaker 13 (06:03):
Yes, I was like, those are grandma's. Now like we
are the ants.

Speaker 6 (06:08):
You're pushing forty.

Speaker 13 (06:09):
It's a very funny video and per a boob conversation yesterday,
my boobs are fully out and you were like, I
didn't know you had boobs there. You'll see them. They're
fully out and you can tell nice.

Speaker 5 (06:21):
So I have to go to your Instagram to see
what did you say?

Speaker 6 (06:24):
Plump?

Speaker 7 (06:24):
They are plump?

Speaker 6 (06:25):
She's get plumped.

Speaker 5 (06:26):
That is not a word I appreciate as much as
some other people.

Speaker 15 (06:31):
Plump.

Speaker 6 (06:31):
Plump, not slaps. Yeah, plump, I associate with like a
nice baseball hot I didn't say they weren't nice. I'll
take a look, but plump.

Speaker 13 (06:39):
I don't pull them out often. They are not a
site to be seen on the regular. So if you
are interested in what my cleavage looks like, I highly
recommend you go watch like and share this.

Speaker 6 (06:48):
But in your character development, these this mid thirties childless
cat lady Aunt needed to have an ample bosom.

Speaker 7 (06:58):
Well it's I mean, I have them right, but these.

Speaker 6 (07:00):
Are you had to pull them out. You said that
you jiggled them, you kind of worked them out.

Speaker 7 (07:04):
I'm wearing a very low cut.

Speaker 13 (07:06):
It's like like a jacket with nothing underneath, and then
I have on a push and bras so you can
see my brawl popping out of the jacket.

Speaker 6 (07:12):
Huh.

Speaker 7 (07:13):
So that's the vibe.

Speaker 13 (07:15):
I own that cowjacket I worn'd in Vegas.

Speaker 6 (07:21):
Is is your roommate flat chested? Is she? She's a
little smaller? Okay, so is she mad about that whole thing?

Speaker 7 (07:28):
No, not at all.

Speaker 6 (07:29):
You just flown it.

Speaker 13 (07:30):
If you got it is the whole thing. So yeah,
so uh okay, I was like, what was I saying?

Speaker 6 (07:36):
You're talking about your plump? Okay, so I'm your casino
ants plump? Yeah, I don't like plump. Oh there they are?

Speaker 5 (07:42):
Yeah, okay, so you got them popped up and yeah, spilling.

Speaker 7 (07:45):
And I'm a whole I'm taking stuff out of them.
You know what I mean.

Speaker 13 (07:48):
Oh, that's what I'm saying is that these are like
your your cool divorce ants who are like there for you,
like hit my weed pen, don't tell your mom, like
come stay at my house when you're mad at your dad.
Like that's the vibe we're giving off with this video. Yes,
take five hundred dollars, go back to school shopping like
and it's not that we're rich, we're just childless ants, right,
vans that they think they're cool, like the yes that.

Speaker 6 (08:12):
We're still the nieces and nephews are like I'm okay,
mayor thank you.

Speaker 13 (08:17):
We're still young, we're still hot, We're still you know,
showing off for the men.

Speaker 6 (08:22):
I still got it.

Speaker 7 (08:23):
Yes, everybody wants us. Yeah, it's a it's a funny video.
I'm very proud of it.

Speaker 5 (08:28):
Well I just took a glance at it, and they're out.

Speaker 13 (08:32):
Did you see my supple bosom supple which is stop
with you plump and supple which knock it off?

Speaker 14 (08:38):
Come on, man, I got four more hours to do easy.
It's all distracting now, and I'll horned up.

Speaker 6 (08:44):
I am I am this is a horned up at
Mary's plump supple bosom. With all due respect, Yeah, these
boards are very fragile.

Speaker 5 (08:57):
I can't be whacking into them at will You.

Speaker 13 (09:00):
Get a glimpse of those bow vine boobies and you're
not gonna know what to do against.

Speaker 6 (09:03):
The worse, just getting worse. Utters is the word you're
looking for. Utters, bow vine boobies equal utters Man projected, Well, nevertheless,
you said, yeah, Allen is utterly turned on. Now I
know for tickets and we're get me next.

Speaker 9 (09:21):
Will it be?

Speaker 16 (09:22):
Will it be?

Speaker 6 (09:23):
Ohio, Ohio seventh?

Speaker 13 (09:26):
Yeah, alright, here's here's what I will say real quick.
Before we got a break, we were the hottest people
in that casino.

Speaker 5 (09:32):
We oh, I believe.

Speaker 6 (09:33):
That, especially on a Tuesday night, you probably dropped.

Speaker 5 (09:35):
The media in age by about thirty.

Speaker 6 (09:37):
You probably dressed up as a woman and been the
hottest woman in that casino.

Speaker 7 (09:40):
Dude, right, we're getting hit on as soon as we said.

Speaker 13 (09:45):
The first scene we shot was sitting at the bar
and some drunk Indian dude comes up to us and
he's like, how.

Speaker 12 (09:50):
Are you.

Speaker 6 (09:53):
Hey, let me see those bow vine boobies.

Speaker 14 (09:56):
It's like your YouTube or not your YouTube, You're Facebook
comments came to life.

Speaker 13 (10:03):
These old Pennsylvania men were loving us.

Speaker 6 (10:07):
They don't get action like that on the regular there
in the Poconos, no from out of townies. Well, and
you're like Winnie Paltrow and girls.

Speaker 13 (10:17):
But we have two very different frames as well. Sarah's
very thin, very athletic, and then I'm much more supple
as I But I wore pants that are specifically too tight,
and my my shirt is like a crop top, so
my bellies out, my boobs are out, like I'm so
for the for the men who like a body of
real women, I was playing that for them a little

(10:41):
more fragile.

Speaker 7 (10:42):
You guys.

Speaker 6 (10:42):
Everything guy that came up, She's like, I only do
feet all right, back off, these are just for show,
which there are feet in that video too.

Speaker 13 (10:50):
There are feet in the video, which I hope people realize.
The subtle hilarious of my toes hanging over the front
of the shoes.

Speaker 7 (10:58):
That's such like they're too small.

Speaker 13 (11:00):
Yes, that's such a single ant thing to like cram
your feet into shoes that are too small and way
too high for you to be wearing.

Speaker 14 (11:07):
This is such a funny thing too, because I've never
had an ant that single, seriously not. My youngest aunt
got married in nineteen nine eighty nine, and that was
the last time there was an ant that was single
that I can think of.

Speaker 6 (11:25):
And I only have one of my aunt.

Speaker 13 (11:29):
Widows, my aunt Deb she's widowed, but she's been She
was single for a long time and then she got
married and then she was single again. So she was
like the expendable income ant. She was Christian, so she
wasn't like this over the top or anything like that,
but she was very much like the.

Speaker 7 (11:45):
Yeah, whatever you need, come on over like that.

Speaker 14 (11:48):
Kind of I guess, well, I mean I had a
lesbian at so she wasn't married.

Speaker 5 (11:54):
She just had a roommate, Yes, exactly. She had her
friend Bill.

Speaker 6 (11:57):
You just had your bovine moby brigade at the pool
on Saturday. Didn't know. Is there an invitation forthcoming for Mary?
She's had one the whole time. Oh that's right, you've
been reoffed with extreme prejudice. Yeah, she does not want
to hang out wow at my pool at all. Dump
them out like her sister does.

Speaker 13 (12:14):
Well, God, dumping anything out. See, I'm somewhat dumped out.
You go to my Instagram, what is it again, Mary
Mary Santora Comedy.

Speaker 6 (12:21):
It is. I've seen enough. I've seen enough full supple
for Jesus with a bulvine and the supple, and all right, the.

Speaker 17 (12:32):
Official show of those weirdos ride shotgun with their bare
feet on the dashboard.

Speaker 6 (12:38):
You're a weirdough but let's do this on one hundred
point seven wimms. Well, I was talking to Rob this
morning about this whole podcast Michigan, and he explained it
to me a couple of times, and I still am

(13:01):
not quite sure that.

Speaker 5 (13:02):
I understand it. But supposedly.

Speaker 6 (13:06):
They have hopefully fixed the situation where they're just playing
advertisements as I'm talking or as any of us are talking,
but it really does any money from it? Well, that's
not going to change, no, And frankly, I don't care
about that, you know. It's it's like, I just want
the people who use the the app that we tell

(13:26):
them to app use rather ad nauseum. I just want
them to have a good what we call in the
biz ux user experience. Knows it, that's a that's a
plump definition right there, experience. So again, it's like, and

(13:47):
I've told them before, I go, I cannot make it
clearer how little I care about the podcast.

Speaker 5 (13:53):
I like that people have the option.

Speaker 6 (13:55):
I get nothing from it, but I want them to
be able to use it and use it in the
way that they have intended for it to happen. So pleasant,
that's right. Yes, listen, listening to this program, by definition
is not always going to be a pleasant experience. The
last thing I want to do is putting more shut

(14:17):
up Mary.

Speaker 7 (14:22):
Radio Marilla, don't know that, that's true.

Speaker 6 (14:27):
Yes, I'm the last of my kind. Baby, I'm a
dying breed.

Speaker 7 (14:30):
Never comes when I'm when I'm doing my.

Speaker 6 (14:34):
What's that the commercials, Yep, we'll see about that.

Speaker 7 (14:38):
Well, that's the DA cut off the good content.

Speaker 9 (14:40):
But that's the thing.

Speaker 6 (14:41):
Well, here I'll play. I saw first saw a picture
of a vagina when I was eight.

Speaker 9 (14:46):
Frustraight, it is core per Rade.

Speaker 5 (14:50):
Yeah, we're gotting just weird ads of everything, and you know.

Speaker 6 (14:54):
But no, so he explained it, and I I do
understand what he's talking about. Hopefully that situation, and I'm
gonna on my end, I'm making a couple of tweaks,
and hopefully on the other end.

Speaker 5 (15:07):
It will work out the way that we want it to.

Speaker 6 (15:09):
Because this hasn't happened for a while, granted, but now
it's happening all the time, and it's just very frustrating
for people trying to listen and you know, but it
always comes down to, well, listen and let us know.
And I'm like, what, se gotta do your job too.
I got to do my show, then what I got
to listen to my show and then email people for

(15:30):
them to figure it out. So whatever, it's not the
end of the world. But it has been explained to
me what they think the problem was. And hope part
of it's geo tagging, part of it is some other stuff.
And so I'm taking them at their word that if
we do a B and C then it will be

(15:51):
an easier experience for people to listen. So anyway, a
short story long, but again, send me these clips. Boy,
if you are still in a situation where you're getting
weirdo advertisements in the middle of any of us talking,
just mid show, right mid show, not in a normal
organic spot, send me those clips because I do like them.

(16:14):
Speaking of podcasts, my buddy Bill Maher has a podcast.
It's called Club Random.

Speaker 14 (16:19):
You don't like I think he is Annoy's.

Speaker 6 (16:24):
Smug and a boomer and blah blah blah. There's none
wrong with smug. I mean he's a smart sucks smug's fine.
Smugs annoying if you got the it's annoying. But if
you got the goods, there's a lot of dummies walking
around who are smug.

Speaker 7 (16:36):
I mean, if you got the goods, you taught me.

Speaker 6 (16:39):
Who taught you that? Smarty?

Speaker 7 (16:42):
Or maybe I read it in a book? Is he smarty?

Speaker 18 (16:45):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (16:45):
There's a lot of people who've turned a corner on
Bill Maher because he's but I again, I I we
go way back.

Speaker 5 (16:51):
I like the whole lot Anyway.

Speaker 6 (16:53):
I fully understand people's criticisms of him. I've watched the
show sometimes I've been like, uh okay, so I have
felt that never less, My point is he had his
first ever return guest on his podcast, and he had
Quentin Tarantino, and I like Quentin Tarantino.

Speaker 5 (17:10):
I like his films.

Speaker 6 (17:12):
If you can follow along with what he's saying, you
could have a good time. The guy's been living He
married an Israeli woman and he's been living in Tel
Aviv for a long time now.

Speaker 5 (17:22):
That's where he makes his home.

Speaker 6 (17:23):
They have a child, whatever, and Quentin Tarantino, if you've
ever seen him in an interview or listen to him
on anything, he talks a million miles a minute. But
he kept saying self depreciating it, And I'm like, how
is the guy who is responsible for some of the
finest dialogue of nineties cinema and two thousand self depreciating?

(17:47):
He said it.

Speaker 5 (17:48):
Now, of course it's self deprecating.

Speaker 13 (17:50):
Well unless he friends it as his self worth is depreciating.

Speaker 7 (17:53):
Yeah, like that of a car.

Speaker 6 (17:55):
I mean, as soon as you drive me off the lot,
I start to depreciate. But I could not believe what
I was hearing, and at first I thought maybe he
was just in a brain fog because he was speaking quickly.
Said it two or three times and I turned it off.
And I gotta tell you, I don't want to be
that guy. But I have to reassess Quentin Tarantino now

(18:16):
in the same way that I do like Bill Maher. Yes,
but I fully understand why people don't. I fully get why.
And Bill hasn't been on this show in a while,
but I completely understand why people are not with Bill
Maher anymore. But fundamentally, I think he's a smart dude,
and I like some of his takes on things. There

(18:39):
are a lot of times recently where you're like, okay,
but whatever, but self depreciating from Quentin Tarantino. No less.
Now Mary has opened the floodgates here with her plump
and supple Oh, because now everybody's going in on it.
And I just watched Mary's video. They are very very plump.

Speaker 7 (19:00):
You're welcome. I'm not a lie.

Speaker 6 (19:05):
Eva gallery that we used to have. Alan, I'm quite
fond of Mary's gelatinous engorged teeths.

Speaker 13 (19:13):
Downright dystopian and gorge feels like they need to.

Speaker 5 (19:16):
Be released released. Yeah, milk the bovine.

Speaker 7 (19:21):
Well, because I'm wearing a cowjacket, get.

Speaker 6 (19:24):
Worse, He's yes, and Alan, when I'm a single aunt,
literally none of those things are going to apply to me.

Speaker 7 (19:33):
Well, that's your life. You're not living it right? Sorry?

Speaker 6 (19:36):
Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?

Speaker 13 (19:38):
You mean you don't want to go spend all your
extra income at the casino buffalo game?

Speaker 7 (19:42):
You're on your mind?

Speaker 6 (19:43):
Yeah, Alan, I love Mary, but from one gambler to another,
she did not just play her free play and not
spend anymore.

Speaker 7 (19:52):
You don't know anything about me.

Speaker 6 (19:53):
Yeah I did. I don't you say you talk like
you said. Yeah, you said that. But that's all your
car do, my.

Speaker 13 (20:00):
Debit cards and everything at home because I.

Speaker 7 (20:02):
Know who I am and I can't. Yes, I lost
a two hundred out of your mind, all right, I'm just.

Speaker 13 (20:10):
But honestly, most of the time was spent with me
and Sarah just messing around playing the games in the video,
you know what I mean, because like, uh, for the video,
there's like me tapping the screen and being like piggies, piggies, piggies,
like those crazy casino ladies, So you obviously have to
do that.

Speaker 6 (20:27):
Piggies is a thing that shows up on slot games,
like I said, at Cherries and well.

Speaker 13 (20:31):
There's one hundred thousand different styles, but yes, one of
them is pigs.

Speaker 7 (20:36):
And in order to have.

Speaker 6 (20:41):
Yeah, the house for the cows.

Speaker 13 (20:45):
But in order to have that going, we had to
be playing the games in order you know what I mean, understood,
But it was it was really fun.

Speaker 7 (20:52):
It was cool.

Speaker 13 (20:52):
Her mom won and we all got to got a
hand pay. A hand pay which is anything over what
amountain bill twenty hundred Nope, much lower.

Speaker 5 (21:02):
Much of the fifteen hundred, fifteen dollars.

Speaker 7 (21:04):
Twelve hundred, anything over twelve hundred.

Speaker 6 (21:06):
Dollars, anything over a twelve or twelve hundred dollars, they
have to they are they trying to move like they're
trying to move.

Speaker 13 (21:11):
It up to like to like five grand, But that's
never gonna happen because then they're missing out on a
lot of taxes.

Speaker 6 (21:18):
Wow.

Speaker 13 (21:19):
But yeah, anything over in one hit so in a
free games or whatever on one line, pay anything over
twelve hundred dollars on a slot machine or technically, Yeah,
it's exactly the things you've.

Speaker 5 (21:30):
Got to know if you're going to be an inveterate gambler.

Speaker 13 (21:33):
Well, you kind of pick up on them quick because
it's money. Yeah, you know, so you learn things quickly
when it comes to your money. I think, well, clearly
you do, yeaes Saras mom was so excited when she
hit that jack pot, but it was it was also
kind of cute because she had never played the game before,
so she didn't really understand what was happening, but she

(21:54):
just kept seeing the money go up. So she was
like excited about the money, but not exactly sure.

Speaker 6 (21:58):
What were you with her when it?

Speaker 7 (22:00):
I was not but Sarah was.

Speaker 6 (22:04):
I just I just remember the first cruise I was
ever on, I won a slots tournament, which is purely
by chance. There's no skill in that, right, somebody has
to win. There's no skill in a slots tournament. Whoever
gets lucky and wins. And I won one hundred dollars.
I was playing a sex in the city slot machine.

(22:27):
They put you where they wanted you. I said, never mind,
I'm sorry, slat machine. And I won one hundred dollars
and I was fine. That was great. But that's my
one and only experience. I mean, when I was in Vegas,
I spent uh a considerable amount of money a slot

(22:50):
machine like one in the morning, and I didn't I
didn't get dick off that thing. So when you talk
about I got ten thousand dollars, my friend, she's.

Speaker 14 (23:01):
Also talking about how she lost so much money over
nine years. I know, Well, you're probably a little bit
above even maybe.

Speaker 6 (23:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 13 (23:10):
Well, like I said, the way that they do it,
it's hard to explain. And I've said this before, and
I don't want to beat a dead horse. They count
every dollar or a dead coup that is cycled through.
So even if you like I took in my two
hundred dollars and lost it. Right, Yes, so my net
loss from my body and my wallet is two hundred dollars,

(23:32):
but they might track that I played through fifteen hundred,
so they show it as a loss of fifteen hundred.

Speaker 7 (23:39):
So that's why you gotta get it.

Speaker 6 (23:41):
And the money that you lose on the slot machine,
somebody else will win. They're winning you or money honestly
they're taking. They might as well just walk up and
say give me two hundred dollars.

Speaker 13 (23:53):
Anybody who claims to be a socialist that is not
also a gambler is a liar.

Speaker 6 (23:58):
I'll say that right, because everybody's everybody's pulling their money
on that machine, and somebody will walk away with it
out for the greater good. Yeah, for the greater good.
That's right. I've got some food news here. Letter from Matt.
You guys were talking about free lunch. I grew up

(24:18):
firmly ensconced in a middle class family. Both parents worked.
Dad ran a small manufacturing company. Mom retired from tri
See after a forty five year well paid union career.
Catholic school, public university. Never really wanted for anything, but
we were by no means rich. I started working twenty

(24:40):
hours a week freshman year and continued straight through high school,
so in general I always had cash on hand for whatever.
First day of senior year, it was odd that one
of the teachers came up and told me that I
would be emptying trash cans and cleaning tables after lunch,
and in return I would have free lunch every day. Now.

(25:00):
I've always believed there's dignity in work as long as
you do your best, so I didn't mind handling garbage,
even if I got some odd looks. Years later, I
found out that a friend of mine who had my
same first name and last initial, was supposed to be
the guy getting the free lunch garbage job. No, I
didn't realize how rough his parents' financial situation was. Long

(25:22):
story short, I ate his free lunch for a year.
Think about that.

Speaker 9 (25:27):
Boy.

Speaker 6 (25:28):
Wow, they say there's no such thing as a free lunch,
but from Matt, it was someone else's free lunch. The
people of Strongsville, Ohio are mourning today. Some people who are.
I have to imagine there's the equivalent of a roadside

(25:51):
memorial out there. As Strongsville is one of the twenty
three new locations listed for closure on the Red Lobster list.
You know, Red Lobster is just now there's probably four
or five. There's probably half a dozen locations still throughout
northeast Ohio. There's North Olmsteed, I think there's one in Parma,

(26:12):
but Strongsville, Ohio is the one of the on this
current list. It is the only one in the state
of Ohio that's going to be closing. Now. I have
to think, on the one hand, these aren't locations that had.

Speaker 5 (26:23):
People lined up around the block anyway.

Speaker 6 (26:27):
But if you were somebody who's like, hey, I just
moved to Strongsville from somewhere else and I'm a big
fan of Red Lobster, imagine coming to that knowledge the
location in Strongsville will be closed. They still have them

(26:47):
in oh I guess there's a lot of them still open.
I didn't realize that they're in Parma, North olmstead manor
Ilaria Akron, so there are still a whole bunch of them.
Of course, Red lobs Sure is based out of Florida,
so I think they've seen the most closures there. But
you know, how far it's not far from Strongsville to Parma,

(27:11):
right a couple of towns.

Speaker 7 (27:13):
Over maybe there next to each other.

Speaker 6 (27:16):
There you go they border. Uh, so you could conceivably
make your way over to the one there on day drive.

Speaker 5 (27:23):
And I think it's under drive in Parma for people
who are you know.

Speaker 6 (27:28):
Now. Conversely, I can't believe there's a guy opening new
locations for Arthur Treachers. Remember Arthur Treachers.

Speaker 13 (27:38):
They were all attached ships. What are they attached to?
Not Taco Bell, John Silver, Yeah, Long John Silver. Arthur
Street is his own thing.

Speaker 6 (27:47):
It's like a British uh yeah, but it's but it's
got likeies, Long John Silver.

Speaker 7 (27:55):
I've only ever been to Long John Silver Treachers.

Speaker 6 (27:57):
They got like the union jack all over their logos.
A green and yellow.

Speaker 13 (28:03):
Arthur's Treachers is yellow and orange. Green and yellow is
Longe and something green and yellow is Arthur Treachers, Long Silver.
They're probably they're probably the same. I think the yellow
is supposed to maybe evoke the thoughts of like the
Gordon's fishermen, right, the.

Speaker 6 (28:19):
Yellow slicker, yellow and blue. I know what you did
last summer, that whole thing. But when we were out
at Oak Tree, there was an Arthur Treacher's the other way,
other end of Rockside Road there.

Speaker 5 (28:32):
It might have even been like Maple Heights.

Speaker 14 (28:34):
Yes, there was one right by the Funny Style for
a long time. It might still be there.

Speaker 7 (28:38):
Is there an entire generation who doesn't know what we're
talking about?

Speaker 6 (28:41):
Yes, yes, because anybody under fifty has no idea what
we're talking about.

Speaker 13 (28:47):
My dad liked Long John Silvers. I don't know if
my mom did about it. I specifically remember going there
with my dad.

Speaker 7 (28:53):
There was one on.

Speaker 13 (28:55):
Maybe snow out in brook Park that might be Snow Road,
and we would go there maybe I don't know, a
couple times a year, but my dad would be so
excited about going to Long John Silvers.

Speaker 7 (29:07):
I never liked it. I mean it's.

Speaker 6 (29:10):
I was only ever at one, and I got very
sick and never went back. But there's a guy opening
up Arthur Treachers because that one, again, we were out
of Oak Tree. That one close.

Speaker 5 (29:23):
I think we were still out there. I think it's
a oh is it open?

Speaker 14 (29:27):
Like according to I looked up Arthur's Treachers and then
it says Rockside Road open.

Speaker 6 (29:32):
Okay, so there you go. He revived the Garfield Heights location.
And then this guy they had one left in Kuihoga Fall,
So he reopens Garfield Heights. Okay, so that guy Falls
one is still there, that one still there. So but
but like these are the last ones anywhere I feel like,

(29:54):
I mean, this is a chain that used to have
a thousand locations around the United States, and this du
dude is opening up Arthur Treachers, Fish and Chips, which
I think requires everyone this.

Speaker 7 (30:10):
Did you just say this that it says the last
remaining one is in Kaihaga Falls.

Speaker 6 (30:14):
Yes, but he's opened up he reopened the Garfield Heights one,
and then there's another one he's opening up somewhere after
thirty five years, Cleveland Heights one. Yeah, coming back to
Cleveland Heights. So while you have all of these kind
of you know, post COVID, it's obviously it's famously been

(30:35):
very difficult for a lot of mom and pop restaurants.
You know, there's all kinds of places closing in Lakewood
and other places like that. It's not working out for him,
And here's a guy opening up Arthur Treachers. Wasn't there
one on one seventeen po was that? Was that a
church's or there was a white castle? There was that
was church's?

Speaker 14 (30:54):
Chicken and Church's Chicken is what I'm thinking in white
Castle and now it's a Now let's.

Speaker 6 (31:00):
Say Dunkin Donuts and yeah, man, I mean you can
have your popeyes and choke on it. Church's Chicken is
where it's at, Homie. I don't care what anybody says.
You've got to go into one of those places, Church's
Chicken or Brown's Chicken, but they don't have those, hero
don't think anyway. Congratulations to the dude who is so

(31:22):
enamored of Arthur Treachers that he's bringing back new locations.

Speaker 5 (31:26):
And I think anybody who does not have.

Speaker 6 (31:30):
An allergy to crustaceans, Mary, I think anybody who doesn't
have one of those allergies behooves them to patronize this
guy's business or patronize it.

Speaker 4 (31:42):
Clevelanders are damn proud of their city.

Speaker 6 (31:46):
Come on, you were born here, he moved here.

Speaker 4 (31:50):
This is a man that has endured real torture in
a foreign setting.

Speaker 6 (31:54):
So who's the real hero? I would hope people would
listen to our heroes.

Speaker 7 (31:58):
Alan got in one undt then w m MS.

Speaker 6 (32:11):
Guardians trying to avoid the sweep. They're in a bit
of a pack right now. Yeah, they're finishing up that
series against the Royals. Right now, it's five to two
in the top of the sixth and they haven't had
cold bats against those Kansas City Royals. So the Guardians
are in a bit of a weird place right now.

(32:33):
This is gonna be struggling since the All Star break. Yeah,
this is going to tie them with Kansas City right now.

Speaker 14 (32:39):
I'm actually a game, like a half game behind her,
or maybe a game behind them.

Speaker 6 (32:43):
All right, I believe.

Speaker 5 (32:44):
Well, yeah, they're they're into they're in a toe.

Speaker 6 (32:48):
I mean, they'll be behind obviously with this, but they
fall the first place, they'll lose their first round by
in the playoffs and have to play in a wild
card series. Don't like that, no, but it was probably
also bound to happen. I mean, they've had a hell
of a season and it's hard for sure, but yeah,

(33:09):
it's you know, we kind of got used to them
winning and being good and then it's now it feels
like a collapse because we're like, hey, they're doing some good.
So the Pirates will come to town for three games
this weekend, and then the Guardians have to go to
Kansas City play the Royals again. So if they don't
fare any better than they have in this home stand,

(33:30):
then that's going to be trouble for them. But anyway,
that game is happening as we speak. Tomorrow night will
be the first of three against the Buccos. That is
a seven to ten pitch here on MMS. No sorry, Friday,
not Tomorrow night. They will have Tomorrow off, Friday, Saturday
Sunday they'll play the Pirates seven to ten start and

(33:53):
all through the month of September or Zeptember.

Speaker 17 (34:00):
If you prefer, Yeah, Robert Plaid, Jimmy Page, Fabick, you
can use the promo code what is it Guardian for
twenty percent off at cl Clothing Company for the next
four days and this month you can still use Lake.

Speaker 6 (34:15):
We're gonna do new one every month, so Guardian. He
is going to be your promo code all through the
month of September. Oh, Stripper Scott told me that Arthur
Treacher was just a British actor who licensed his name.

(34:38):
That would be pretty wild if you had nothing to do.
People were like, oh, that guy must really like fish
and chips. I mean he was British, but nope. He
was in Mary Poppins, He was in a bunch of
British TV shows and movies. He was MERV Griffin's sidekick.
Now you have to be really old to who MERV

(35:00):
Griffin is, but MERV Griffin was this daytime TV talk
show host in the sixties. He would go on to
become an extraordinarily wealthy man. He was kind of a
closeted gay man his whole life, just never met the
right gal.

Speaker 5 (35:18):
He was a conform They call him a confirmed bachelor.

Speaker 6 (35:22):
But MERV Griffin was the guy who created Wheel of
Fortune and Jeopardy. So this guy was just unbelievably rich
from royalties and money that he got from those shows.
But he had back in the day, a daytime talk
show and Arthur Treacher was his sidekick. Arthur Treacher died

(35:43):
in the mid seventies from cardiovascular disease, but he would
lend his name to businesses, so unlike he was somebody,
I'm going to open a fish and Chips place, somebody
hit him on and he's like all right. He also
licensed his name and image for a household help agency

(36:05):
called the Call Arthur Treacher's Service System or CATS if
you prefer, but Arthur Treachers Fish and Chips, and again
he just they paid him a licensing fee and slapped
his name and the Union Jack on the logo. They
were doing fine, but as we were talking about before
the break, only one of them left in the entire company.

(36:29):
As of a couple of country rather was in Cuyhoga Falls.
There are a couple of tiny ones in like like this,
as there are places in Rochester called Salvatori's Pizzeria and
they have a thing with Archer Treachers. And then Pomeroy, Ohio,
my sister in laws from there has an Arthur Treachers

(36:50):
in a convenience store. So if you go, you know,
I love fish and chips and hushpuppies, but they're just
so damn inconvenient, couldn't I just did into the Twin Oaks.

Speaker 5 (37:01):
Where is Pomeroy.

Speaker 7 (37:03):
Way down on the Ohio River.

Speaker 6 (37:05):
Oh yeah, all right, has she ever mentioned Arthur Treachers.

Speaker 13 (37:10):
I think it's on like the right before you cross
over into West Virginia.

Speaker 7 (37:14):
But no, I've never talked to her about areas.

Speaker 6 (37:18):
Ell, don't forget about the classic Seinfeld episode where Kramer
rebuilds the murv Griffin set. There you go, that's like
a more of a modern reference to people might that's
the reason. I know what mur right.

Speaker 5 (37:29):
But even even that is a thirty year old, you
know episode.

Speaker 14 (37:35):
But there's people on like guests. What just the fact
that he has people on like guests? Yeah?

Speaker 6 (37:46):
Yeah, al mcguardians are in a bit of a weird place,
not quite as weird as being thirty one and one hundred.
You know what, you son of a bitch. I get
what you're doing. It's your thinly veiled, so thinly veiled
crack at my Chicago White Sox. And obviously you're not wrong.

(38:08):
The numbers don't lie, Boy do they stink. But I'm
still a booster a lot of you know, I always
think of White Sox legend Jim Tomey and what he thinks,
because you know, he works for the organization. He's got
his office there at Guaranteed Rate Field, and you know,

(38:30):
I've got to think, what does this guy think? You know,
here's a guy who devoted his entire career to the
Chicago White Sox. I'm sorry. And then and the legends
who came before him, the hallowed hauls through which Harold
Baines walked, and Robin Ventura and Frank the Big Hurt

(38:53):
Thomas and other Mini Minoso and Nellie Fox and Paul Knerko,
all these great legendary players, but above them all the
great Jim Tomey, who to this day devotes all of
his time and resources to the storied franchise that gave

(39:20):
him so much and to whom he gave so much.
I think if you, I'm pretty sure he's that's the
only team you've played for. You know, it's so rare
that you'll see an athlete playing for one team their
whole career. But Jim, tell me did it, and it
was very exciting to see. Anyway, Yes, thirty one and
one hundred, I get it.

Speaker 4 (39:39):
Ah hah, Allan, this is Rich down Jacksonville floor, listening
back to podcast from Tuesday, and you guys are discussing
some seventeen hundred mummy that tested positive or tracing the cocaine,
and it's kind of nerded out for a little bit
because there's actual ancient Egyptian mummies that had tested positive
for substances such as cocaine as well. And it's a
mystery that has archaeologis kinds of in their heads because

(40:00):
cocaine is a plant that derived from America, so trying
to figure out how the Egyptians had contact with the.

Speaker 6 (40:05):
Americas that get the cocaine. Anyways, hit the show. Yeah,
the why are they not making a Cocaine Mummy? You
know they're always talking about rebooting these franchises. Why is
there not a Cocaine Mummy movie? Maybe it's forthcoming. They
had Cocaine Bear, which I still haven't watched. That's one
of those movies that I forget about, and I'm like,

(40:27):
I should watch Cocaine Did anybody see Cocaine Bear when
that was out?

Speaker 7 (40:30):
No?

Speaker 6 (40:30):
Yeah, no, Elizabeth Banks directed it. Cocaine Bear.

Speaker 7 (40:36):
Is it funny?

Speaker 5 (40:37):
I heard?

Speaker 6 (40:37):
It's just like a bonkers kind of movie like it's
supposed to Yeah, if it was like supposed to be horror,
I think it's like parody, like just.

Speaker 13 (40:48):
Like a bonker's coming about Sharknado.

Speaker 7 (40:51):
Whereas like, is this legit or is this making fun
of disaster movies?

Speaker 5 (40:55):
It's making fun of disaster movies.

Speaker 7 (40:57):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (40:58):
You think it's legit, Well, Cocaine Bear is based on
a true story Shark Nato, to the best of my
knowledge not, But again I don't know, because nothing. That's
my question. Because we talked about this before. They're finding
cocaine in sharks off the coast of Brazil. They are
finding a cocaine on the inside of seventeenth century mummy skulls,

(41:23):
and uh, cocaine Mummy. You know, they tried to reboot
that whole thing with Tom Cruise some years ago and
it flopped. And I think it's because there was no
cocaine in it, probably especially since Tom Cruise is a
guy who has like big cocaine energy. If he could
bring that to the production. There's no evidence that that's
what's going on with him.

Speaker 14 (41:44):
But yeah, but nobody wants a another Tom Cruise Mummy movie.

Speaker 6 (41:49):
You don't think so. No, who should they put in
the Mummy reboot that involves the cocaine. They should bring
back the cocaine. Bring Brendan Fraser back. Yeah, but he
got all big and fat for that movie. He got again, yes, lost. No,
he gained like five hundred pounds for that movie. I'm sorry.

(42:11):
I saw the production stills. Mary, I think I know
what I'm looking at.

Speaker 13 (42:14):
You want to talk about supple bosom, Oh, Brendan Fraser
in that whale?

Speaker 6 (42:20):
You think so supple large sweaty boxom buxom Buxom, Buxom buxom.
No buxom is like like a russ Meyer movie, right,
isn't doesn't Buxom kind of imply like, ooh oh no,
you know, I google it. Plump you did it? How
you like those russ Meyer movies? Though, oh faster pussy cat,

(42:43):
kill kill baby, uh mondo topless. That's the other problem.
We don't have cocaine mummy movies, and we don't have
movies with the word topless in them. Let's have topless, Yes,
let's have more movies with topless in the title. It
was literally just a woman dancing tour.

Speaker 14 (43:05):
I mean there was different women, but it'd be like
here's so and so dancing and shake again. It's be
like a six minute video of her shaking her boobs
to you know song on the radio.

Speaker 6 (43:18):
Rules. The film was banned in Finland. Freedom my ass.
So yeah, cocaine Mummy, Thank you Rich down in Jacksonville,
I appreciate that.

Speaker 5 (43:30):
Let's get this thing made. Let's crowdsource it. Hit on
our hands.

Speaker 19 (43:40):
Meth heroin, cocaine and fentinyl. Meth heroin, cocaine and sentinel.
Meth heroin, cocaine and fentinyl meth heroin cocaine and sending them.

Speaker 6 (44:07):
I heard from one of our bureau chiefs out there
in Iowa. We've got people in Des Moines and the
surrounding areas who listen on the iHeartRadio app out there
in the Hawkeye state, and they've got some wild stuff
going on out there. They have.

Speaker 5 (44:25):
Prowling the streets, and.

Speaker 6 (44:26):
They say prowling the streets, but they haven't found it yet.
In Des Moines, the police are using drones and ATVs
to try to find a water buffalo that is on
the loose, and they said that it's aggressive and their
efforts to capture this thing thus far have been foiled.

(44:49):
It continues to elude the police and escaped water buffalo
on the lamb, not an actual lamb. It's on the
lamb lam not on a lamb. So they're asking people
in and around Des Moines to keep their eyes peeled

(45:10):
and to steer clear of it.

Speaker 5 (45:12):
It's good pun steer clear of the animal.

Speaker 16 (45:16):
Now.

Speaker 5 (45:16):
I have to think that.

Speaker 6 (45:20):
In Iowa, as with so many other states of its ilk,
there's going to be somebody who's going to just shoot
this thing. Right. They're gonna say, I was standing my
ground and I felt like my life was in danger
as this thing lazily sauntered over to me. I had
to anton sugar this thing right there in my backyard.

(45:46):
Martin Pontier is thirty four. He said the animal appeared
calm as it strolled through his backyard. Yeah, well thanks
for nothing, Martin. This guy goes, oh, yeah, walk through
my backyard. Well why didn't you throw a roper on
his neck? So a water buffalo that they have not

(46:06):
yet captured, is walking through the streets of Des Moines.
I doesn't say where it came from. And I don't
know anything about water buffalo. Now. I know a little
bit about water polo, and that's the game where you're
on horseback in a pool and then you're kind of

(46:28):
tossing some things around. But I don't know anything about
water buffalo. I didn't even realize that they were. I
didn't realize they were they were in this country. I
thought they're all in Asia, like walking around. I mean,
I have to assume they're called that because their body
is mostly water. You know how we're called water people

(46:51):
because our bodies are mostly water.

Speaker 5 (46:53):
Water humans water humans is what we're.

Speaker 6 (46:58):
Around. I didn't see that Indian.

Speaker 20 (47:03):
Yeah, crounded down and he womped down a shine a
bank man off the buffalo. Buffalo shut up running by.
The Indian was still reloading the goal behind him with
a pistol.

Speaker 8 (47:15):
He was like, you better watch what you're doing. The
maam break up on the step. I will step down
and foot house. Don't wake up.

Speaker 6 (47:33):
Whatever happened to a guy in a buffalo? That was
my favorite show. I mean that's some years ago, but
that was my favorite show. Here, Oh, there's an update.
I guess the police body cam. They said that the
Des Moines Police Department very reluctant to shoot the thing.
I guess they didn't want to splatter the water buffalo
all over the place. It just sauntered not long. All right,

(48:00):
do you have a rope or something? Having that big boy,
we don't have a way to corral. Oh, leaps over
the chain link fence. They're running after it. The thing's
walking at like half a mile an hour in this case.

Speaker 16 (48:21):
He bo.

Speaker 5 (48:24):
Now he's in the drive through lane at the bank.

Speaker 6 (48:28):
Maybe he has some business to attend to and they're
maybe they're underestimating this water buff Now he's at the ATM.
He's taking out money gets set it in man. Now
he's going next door to the dry cleaner. Oh, but
he doesn't have his ticket. So now he's walking out

(48:50):
and get inside. Yep, he's telling him to get inside,
always telling the people to get inside.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
What's up.

Speaker 6 (48:58):
Now he's at the safeway. He's going to pick up
something for dinner. Oh, he's still at the bank. Well, anyway,
I hope that they can figure that whole thing out.
They said that they I don't think that they've killed it,
but this thing was just trying to get out. They
said that it was. And this has to be coincidence

(49:20):
because it didn't know. But the owner of this thing
had this water buffalo scheduled to be slaughtered or properly butchered. Right,
however they do it in the in you know, some
people get a little rough with their stock. But yeah,
they were. So if the owner was going to do that,

(49:41):
what's stopping the cops from blowing this thing's had off?

Speaker 5 (49:44):
Probably there's a little kids walking around.

Speaker 6 (49:46):
That's probably what it is, right, Yeah, And you don't
want to be the guy that the other cops are
making fun of because he ran around and then shot
a water buffalo in the head. But why not he
size it up, line it up, and then you got
water buffalo parts all over the ATM. Yeah, juice all
over the drive through ATM. Wipe the buttons off. The

(50:10):
next person comes here to make a deposit or withdrawal. Well, anyway,
thank you. One of our Des Moines bureau chiefs sent
me that I hope that there's a peaceful resolution to
this or who knows. As I said yesterday, decapitations have
been very big in the news recently. And if this

(50:34):
water buffalo's fate which already seems set, already going to
get slaughtered by its owner, but now it's out running free.
The immortal words of Paul Diano, what feels great to
do is absolutely free, can be done by yourself.

Speaker 5 (50:52):
And yet no one ever mentions.

Speaker 11 (50:54):
This box show.

Speaker 9 (50:55):
I'm a buzzermmas.

Speaker 6 (51:01):
This little taste of the warning here power Trio pretty good.
The big song Mary is called sick. Oh, it couldn't

(51:23):
have come at a better time because Bill has gone
home sick. I hope he's so cut. He was looking
pretty green. Actually we went to break and he goes, dude,
I'm sorry, I've got to get out of here. He's

(51:45):
like I was trying to well he was. He was
kind of trying to power through. But you know what
that means?

Speaker 7 (51:51):
What does that mean?

Speaker 5 (51:52):
Cap fun and Stepman mayor show.

Speaker 9 (51:57):
Man?

Speaker 6 (51:58):
All right, we want to talk about Vagina's Casinos corn sweat.
That's what sent him home now when I'm mid sip. Yeah,
I know, I don't think I didn't think about that. Hey, Scott, Yeah,
what's going on? Scott? How are you?

Speaker 10 (52:20):
Well? I'm just going to let you know that two
hundred people every year.

Speaker 17 (52:25):
Get killed by your buffaloes are also known as cape buffaloes.

Speaker 5 (52:30):
Wait, two hundred people a year.

Speaker 6 (52:32):
Are they all in the state of Iowa, because that's
what they're concerned with.

Speaker 16 (52:36):
Now, they're probably in Africa.

Speaker 6 (52:40):
Well, I think they're They're indigenous to Asia, right, So
you mean worldwide? Two hundred people a year killed by
what wayward water buffalo?

Speaker 5 (52:51):
They're probably not wayward.

Speaker 6 (52:53):
They probably go up there and mess with them and
get killed. Oh, I see people who are dicking around
and shouldn't be. You mean, yeah, you don't do that crap, right,
you don't. Well, but you sound like a guy who
knows a thing or two about water buffalo. Scott. Oh, well, no, Oh, well,
how'd you figure out the two hundred people thing?

Speaker 9 (53:13):
Google?

Speaker 6 (53:16):
All right? I thought maybe you were out there doing uh,
collecting data on your own Scott. Oh yeah, yeah, not
the case though, Okay, thank you.

Speaker 8 (53:27):
The gown was riding around, you didn't see that Indian
guy crashed it down and he.

Speaker 20 (53:36):
Popped off a shot went off the buffalo Buffalo stump
running why The Indian.

Speaker 8 (53:42):
Was still reloading the gown behind him with a pistol.

Speaker 6 (53:46):
He was like, hey, it's better watch what you're doing.

Speaker 18 (53:48):
Damn you know.

Speaker 5 (53:51):
It also means we don't have cameras. Rest of the show.
Oh it's so good. What were you wearing today?

Speaker 13 (53:57):
I didn't just post it on my Instagram because I
look I felt like I looked really cute. I've got
on like a white body suit, my emerald green cat
hat that says meow, and I just got just gene shorts.

Speaker 7 (54:09):
But I just got.

Speaker 13 (54:09):
Brand new Jordan four's that are white and emerald green,
So I'm looking pretty put together.

Speaker 6 (54:15):
You might want to get some new shorts. Why did
you know that your pockets are sticking out? I do
know that that's kind of a look, isn't it. Hey,
do you have pockets in those shorts.

Speaker 9 (54:29):
Yes, I do.

Speaker 6 (54:30):
They're on full display, homie, you dude, check them out. Yup.
I can't carry anything in them because that would ruin
the look, wouldn't it. You gotta have flat pockets if
they're going to stick out like that. Yes, flat pockets
on my dad, joke my daughter all the time. Let
me just refresh everyone's memory. Okay, if you have found

(54:51):
me at all entertaining and based on the length of
my tenure here in Cleveland, that's what I go with
that I'm so gainfully employed because people are entertained by me.
I am zero percent entertaining in my own home, all right,
I have to purge it all here. I'm outnumbered in
my home by people who don't find me as humorous

(55:16):
as I find myself because I'm always trying to maye
people laugh. And so my daughter dressed, having some breakfast,
getting ready to go to the third grade, and she's
wearing jeans, giant hole in one of the knees, and
I do the classic You're going to have to change those,

(55:37):
she says. Why, I said, because there's a big hole
in the knee. Now Is that hilarious? Absolutely not. But
you're talking to an eight year old, and it might
get maybe a wisp of a chuckle, nothing, back to
eating breakfast. Nothing.

Speaker 7 (55:57):
I don't think that's very funny either, it's not.

Speaker 6 (55:59):
But again, you're middle aged. I know you're thirty five, right,
she's eight. By the way, middle aged is not old,
it's middle aged. Late aged is old. There's no like.
Middle age is really the only terminology we have for
one part of a person's life, you know, mid life crisis,

(56:23):
middle aged, and those are moving targets based on the
assumption that there's a range there where people go, well,
you're probably in the middle of your life, like I'm
fifty three, okay, I'm on the back half of my book. Yeah,
whatever the book of my life is, I'm on the
back half. I ain't live into one hundred and six.

(56:44):
It'd be great. I love to be telling holes in
jeans jokes when I'm one hundred and six. But you know,
I'm I'm middle aged. I don't feel like it. Thirty
five is absolutely not middle age. But I thought an

(57:06):
eight year old might find that mildly humorous. Not the case.

Speaker 7 (57:11):
Severely misjudged.

Speaker 6 (57:13):
I really did, and I continue to in my own home,
because rather than laughs, I will usually get why why
are you like this? That kind of thing. Congratulations to
the Cleveland Browns. The University of Akron will pay one

(57:37):
point four million dollars a year to be the Cleveland
Browns official university. I didn't know this was a thing.
You know, they go because if you you know, companies
and brands will pay money and they go the official
soft drink of the Cleveland Browns or the official hot
dog or the Cleveland Guardians or whatever it is. Now,

(58:00):
I don't know if that means that anytime the athletes,
because they all have their own deals too, so I'm
not quite sure how that manifests itself. It's not like,
you know, if somebody at Brown Stadium's not drinking an RC,
somebody gets their unties in a twist. But the University
of Akron, you know, our own Cody pound Cake Brown,
well I was gonna say it was, but he is

(58:21):
an alum of the University of Akron and they're paying
good money to be called the official university of the
Cleveland Browns.

Speaker 16 (58:30):
Now.

Speaker 6 (58:30):
I don't know how many people on that team ever
actually went there, but they're paying for it. I don't
know what that means either, Like, I guess if you
go there, you could get an internship with the Browns.
I really should be asking Bridget Linton these kind of questions.
I don't know why I'm asking you.

Speaker 13 (58:50):
I never went there, I don't work there. I don't
work with the Browns.

Speaker 5 (58:55):
You went to the University of Toledo the mud Hens.

Speaker 7 (59:00):
That's the minor league baseball team.

Speaker 6 (59:02):
But yes, I do it every time because I can't
remember not don't tell me. It's not the mud Hens,
the University of Toledo, Toledo. The University of Toledo mud
Hens is a local team. It's the universe, the ut
the It's the the game Cox.

Speaker 5 (59:22):
Is it the game Cox close?

Speaker 6 (59:24):
It's the the the the co is game or Cox
part of it?

Speaker 7 (59:30):
Neither?

Speaker 5 (59:31):
How's that close?

Speaker 6 (59:32):
Then? How's game Cox close? Oh? The University of Toledo
mud Hens for the third time?

Speaker 16 (59:44):
Uh?

Speaker 6 (59:45):
Is it an animal? No? You cheered for the school? Yes,
so you had to yell this out? You go jeeps?
Was it the Jeeps close?

Speaker 13 (59:55):
It is a a not an automobile.

Speaker 6 (01:00:00):
Isn't Toledo the Glass City? It's not Glass the Glasses.
Is it the team Toledo glasses.

Speaker 7 (01:00:06):
Mode of transportation for some.

Speaker 6 (01:00:08):
The University of Toledo bicycles, no skateboards, smaller the walking.

Speaker 7 (01:00:15):
No dead. You launched these into.

Speaker 5 (01:00:17):
The sky rockets.

Speaker 6 (01:00:19):
Ay, that's a mode of transportation for.

Speaker 7 (01:00:22):
Astronauts, I said, for some people.

Speaker 6 (01:00:25):
Yeah, okay, So the Toledo Rockets are the school team.
All right, you had to say, go Rockets, yes, right?
And did they did they go?

Speaker 7 (01:00:36):
They did?

Speaker 6 (01:00:37):
All right?

Speaker 13 (01:00:37):
They went straight to last place. They were very bad. Oh,
really they were terrible. Is that a football school or
a basketball school. Women's basketball was the best sport that
we had. They went into like the w n i.

Speaker 7 (01:00:49):
T Women's National Invitations.

Speaker 13 (01:00:53):
Okay, they went to that like every year and would
win or at least get to the championship game. The
women's basketball team was great, all right. Basketball was not
very good. The football team wasn't very good. We played
Ohio State one year at the Brown Stadium and got crazy.

Speaker 5 (01:01:09):
Well, yeah, it's Ohio State.

Speaker 7 (01:01:11):
They just annihilated us.

Speaker 6 (01:01:15):
Well, the Toledo Rockets are playing tomorrow night. They're gonna
play the Dukene Dukes Dukine University there in Pittsburgh and
the Toledo Rockets. The mid American Conference. So they were
not good when you were there. No, but you got
to pretend like they are. You got to be like
gee day right, come I O, boys.

Speaker 5 (01:01:37):
It's more fun when they're winning.

Speaker 7 (01:01:40):
It's always more fun. When is it more fun when
you're losing?

Speaker 6 (01:01:43):
Well no, no, I mean no, no, I mean as
a cheerleader, because then there's there's less for you to
do when the team is killing it.

Speaker 5 (01:01:50):
Everybody's ready to cheer.

Speaker 6 (01:01:52):
Yes, it's you really prove your metal when you're out
there going come on, you sons of bitches.

Speaker 5 (01:01:58):
These guys are gonna whatever.

Speaker 6 (01:02:01):
Because I have to think that the cheerleaders also can
there's the added benefit of maybe pumping up the team itself.

Speaker 13 (01:02:10):
I don't know how much they're paying attention to us. Ah,
they're in you know, they're busy plan a game.

Speaker 6 (01:02:19):
Toledo is called the glass City because of the meth. Listen,
I know what you're getting at there. They got that
glass d Jones there in Toledo. But I also have
to think that why is it the glass City. It's
not because of windshield.

Speaker 13 (01:02:29):
I think there's like glass factories that they like produce
a bunch of.

Speaker 5 (01:02:33):
Glass because of jeeps I don't know about that.

Speaker 7 (01:02:37):
I think there's like a downtown glass factory.

Speaker 6 (01:02:40):
Hey man, meth ain't that by it?

Speaker 16 (01:02:43):
All?

Speaker 6 (01:02:43):
Right? Yes, I mentioned it when we came back. But
no video. That is not a glitch. Bill has gone
home sick. He's my video guy. So for the remainder
of the show, no video today. You'll just have to
focus on Mary's and my voice.

Speaker 7 (01:03:02):
Robust voice.

Speaker 6 (01:03:03):
What do you what?

Speaker 7 (01:03:05):
Yeah, like Italian dressing.

Speaker 6 (01:03:10):
Robust, like Italian dressing. Yeah, you're gonna have to walk
me through that.

Speaker 7 (01:03:15):
All the Italian dressing labels, I'll say, like.

Speaker 5 (01:03:18):
Robust flavors, Oh, they do robust.

Speaker 13 (01:03:21):
That's the one I buy when I make Yeah, when
I make pasta seut, I have to buy the robust one.
It's one that tastes the best. I don't know what
makes it robust garlic.

Speaker 6 (01:03:29):
Maybe No, I don't know at all. Ell. When I
went to Toledo, I tried out to be the mascot,
which was then Rocky the Rocket. Everybody said it looked
like a dildo. Do you remember Rocky the Rocket looking.

Speaker 7 (01:03:43):
Like a helmet on?

Speaker 13 (01:03:45):
So it's a it's a guy in an astronaut suit
with a helmet.

Speaker 5 (01:03:49):
I mean, dildos are rocket shaped.

Speaker 6 (01:03:51):
I guess that's kind of fundamental to their efficacy. Now
it's a guy dressed up as an astronaut. They said,
that sounds like what you just said.

Speaker 13 (01:04:00):
Though it was always that it was a guy in
like an astronaut suit and then like with a helmet on.

Speaker 6 (01:04:07):
All right, tight? Yeah, okay, Well so it's not the Toledo.

Speaker 7 (01:04:16):
Dill doos or the mud Hens.

Speaker 5 (01:04:20):
Yeah, but do the mud Hens draw?

Speaker 6 (01:04:22):
Like? Do people go see the mud Hens? I never
went to a game, never once.

Speaker 13 (01:04:26):
No, they're the farm team for the Tigers, h right
down the road.

Speaker 7 (01:04:31):
Yeah, I never actually went to a game.

Speaker 5 (01:04:33):
Okay, you never got an invite or anything.

Speaker 7 (01:04:38):
I was really interested. I was doing a lot of partying.

Speaker 6 (01:04:44):
So is it counter productive to be a cheerleader and
partying all the time or does it really?

Speaker 13 (01:04:51):
Can you try to exercise hungover in the air, Well,
I've never been like you're gonna puke.

Speaker 5 (01:04:58):
I have never been thrown in the air, I will
say that.

Speaker 7 (01:05:01):
Yeah, that was the worst.

Speaker 13 (01:05:03):
We did these things called basket tosses, which is when
obviously four guys will throw a girl up in the air,
she does trick lands back down and I was so
hung over the one day and we did pretty much
an entire practice of basket tosses and I had to
sit out. I did like too, and I'm like, I'm
gonna throw up all over everybody in mid air if
although that would be a cool trick, definitely be an

(01:05:23):
attention get her, but I just said, hey, oh.

Speaker 5 (01:05:26):
It was terrible projectile vomit in midair.

Speaker 7 (01:05:30):
It'll get all over me, all over, like when you
try to spit out the window of a moving.

Speaker 5 (01:05:33):
Car, get all over the local news, everywhere.

Speaker 6 (01:05:36):
Local cheerleader vibbits on her fellow cheerleaders midair to get
it in slow mo. Uh Alan, speaking of robust, Mary
looks pretty smoking today, thank you.

Speaker 7 (01:05:54):
I thought so too.

Speaker 5 (01:05:55):
I'm spilling out of your clothes.

Speaker 7 (01:05:57):
What are you gonna do?

Speaker 6 (01:05:58):
Mary? Posting thirst traps for you guys. This is what
it is all to get traffic to the foot picks.

Speaker 13 (01:06:06):
The foot picks, the casino video, Yep, all of it.

Speaker 6 (01:06:09):
It's all coming together.

Speaker 2 (01:06:12):
Hey Rat, Hey, little boat radio buddy.

Speaker 6 (01:06:17):
We all met, finally got to meet Rat on Captain
Funds Floating Fandango. We were mentioning yesterday Rat that we
were all mildly surprised that you're such a normal dude.

Speaker 2 (01:06:28):
Oh you said that on the radio.

Speaker 6 (01:06:29):
Yeah, because we thought when if we finally met, we
didn't know you were going to be there. But when
you go, hey, it's me rat. For whatever reason, based
on our past interactions with you, I think I was
thinking that when we finally met you, you were gonna
look like Yahoo's Sirius or some nonsense like that.

Speaker 5 (01:06:43):
There's a nice modern reference. But yeah, you were like
a regular guy.

Speaker 2 (01:06:47):
Thank you. Yeah, it took me a lot. I think
I had emailed you. I have a debilitating anxiety, and
I barely slept the night before, and then of course,
you know, had maybe five grapes in a cashw before
the boat ride.

Speaker 6 (01:07:00):
So much. God, you gotta stuff yourself. People just can't
stop eating. God, five grapes and a cashw Mary, the
hell's going on here?

Speaker 12 (01:07:06):
That?

Speaker 5 (01:07:07):
Oh God, I wouldn't be able to.

Speaker 2 (01:07:09):
Say it was very nice to meet alter you. I
just wanted to, you know, least shake your hand and
let you go by. And you guys were so busy,
but it was funny. This kind of reminds me about
last week. I was sitting there. It seemed like all
the sixty and fifty five year old women were kind
of hitting on me, you know, And I had a
lawnmower shirt on, and all these guys were like, that's
my favorite lawnmower. And I'm standing there and this lady

(01:07:32):
starts talking my ear off. She's saying, Oh, my husband
died four years ago. I just took my ring off
a week ago. Oh, my daughter's here. I dragged her
to the show. And she goes, oh, you got to
meet her. And then she looks at me, Mary, and
she goes, you should have worn more deodorant.

Speaker 6 (01:07:47):
Oh no, she said to you, you should have worn
more because when I met you and shook your hand. Sure,
my hand smelled like grapes right after that, But now
I understand why. But I wasn't getting any kind of
deodoran refunk off of you rat.

Speaker 2 (01:08:02):
I had two different kinds of deodor. One my sister
gave me in some organic one and then one that's
just full of mercury or whatever the hell is in
the aluminum illuminum. But yeah, she'd come. So she drags
me over the daughter. The daughter starts talking to me
and she's like, my brother committed suicide four years ago.
I've never done drugs. My mom dragged me on.

Speaker 18 (01:08:21):
Here.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
I go, this is fun.

Speaker 6 (01:08:23):
This is like fun afternoon recreational conversation.

Speaker 5 (01:08:27):
She's whipping at you.

Speaker 2 (01:08:29):
Within seven minutes, I hear about suicide and death, and
I go, you know what your mother just told me.
Your mother told me that I should wear mo more deodorant.
And and she she lifts my arm up and sniffs
my armpit on the boat. I couldn't believe. She goes,
you smell fine.

Speaker 6 (01:08:44):
This is the kind of party I want on the
floating fandango people talking about suicide and sniffing each other's armpits. Now,
is there any chance that it was suicide by aluminum poisoning?

Speaker 5 (01:08:54):
And that's why they were worried about your pits?

Speaker 2 (01:08:57):
I don't know. I gave her my homemade artsy business
card and said give me a call, babe, and then
I just got off the ship.

Speaker 6 (01:09:04):
But no, it was great to sea. It was good
to meet you too.

Speaker 2 (01:09:08):
Yeah, my anxiety disappeared. It seems like I was more
comfortable with you three on the boat than anyone else,
just from you know, watching the YouTube and talking and chatting.

Speaker 6 (01:09:16):
But uh, this is what happens. Mary. People just boy,
we just we make some comfortable. They just get it
within our orbit, and their cares just melt away.

Speaker 2 (01:09:29):
And those three lining googles, man, those three lining I'm
not a day drinker, boy, And with a couple of
grapes in your tummy, you have three lining googles. I
got off that boat I was dancing. I think I
gave that guy in the pink suit. I think I
opened up my my fanny pack and gave him like
three edibles and two vapor pens. I'm like, hey, I'm
always working fared alone.

Speaker 6 (01:09:47):
Are you fancy had a good night? Wow, I'll tell
you what those So those grapes were just kind of
floating there in your gut, Rat dude.

Speaker 2 (01:09:54):
And then for some reason, on the way home, you know,
I was traveling to Cleveland Heights. I go South Uclid.
I haven't had Taco Bell in three years. Let's get
a Mexican pizza. I brought that home, took three bites
and I absolutely unloaded it was it was projectile bell.

Speaker 6 (01:10:11):
So really, from tip to taint, Rat had an amazing
all right, thank you, Rad.

Speaker 5 (01:10:15):
There's Rat who we finally met.

Speaker 6 (01:10:19):
He emails and calls the show with some frequency, But
we hadn't met him until I was whipping around the
corner getting ready to go up another level on the boat,
and he goes, Olan, it's me rat, And I was like,
oh hey, dude, and I kind of stopped for a
second shook his hand.

Speaker 5 (01:10:33):
But you know, we were all running around the whole cruise.

Speaker 7 (01:10:36):
Mary, Oh yeah, it didn't stop, barely had.

Speaker 5 (01:10:38):
Much time to spend with uh.

Speaker 6 (01:10:40):
But boy to know that collectively we were able to
quell some of his anxiety, if not his pit.

Speaker 21 (01:10:48):
Stank should have warn more. Do you what a line
that girl to a boy a stranger? Yes, she don't
give a fudge. She goes, hey, should have worn more deodorant?
And how much is too much? Don't want to overdo it?
She don't want her to go You're wearn't too much deodorant.

(01:11:11):
I can't smell anything.

Speaker 15 (01:11:12):
Alan Cox a drummer, but the real musician, he just
makes a noise. If he played the violin or the
piano inthing that made sense, but the drums.

Speaker 6 (01:11:36):
Oh, it's already getting me excited for Saturday night, Little
Lamb of God. Here we do our metal show on Saturdays,
and you go out. It's Wednesday. I still I know,
but what do you want me to tell you? I
get excited. Our metal show is called two Hours to Midnight,
and it's one hundred and twenty minutes of nothing but metal.

(01:11:56):
It's Mary's favorite two hours of programming during the entire week.

Speaker 5 (01:12:01):
And that's counting this show.

Speaker 6 (01:12:04):
Much bigger fan of tu ours at midnight and I'm
your host, but I have help. It's me.

Speaker 5 (01:12:10):
It's Corey Roddick, It's Pat Butler.

Speaker 6 (01:12:13):
What's that? Who am I playing this Saturday? I'm so
glad you asked. I'm playing Fortress under Siege. I'm playing
Disembodied Tyrant. I'm playing sleep Token by request Love them
playing local metal from a band called Black Tar Superstar,

(01:12:35):
playing some old stuff in their Fear Factory, Shadow of Intent.
You hip Tenny of these bands? Mary, you want to
hear some Disembodied Tyrant.

Speaker 7 (01:12:44):
You're basically playing my favorite songs.

Speaker 6 (01:12:47):
So far, so good, right, they got you probably won't
get any heavier than this. This is probably this is
going to be on Saturday night. Put you in a
good move food kind of lull you away and wait,
what come on? And then it gets wild baby, and

(01:13:12):
then it gets wild? Who else iced Earth creator god dethroned?
Want to hear God dethroned?

Speaker 7 (01:13:25):
Who doesn't?

Speaker 6 (01:13:29):
Who doesn't? Well, a lot of people might not want to,
in which case Saturday night you should stay away from WMMS.
I would never tell you to do that under normal
circumstances that if you're not a fan of heavy metal
in all of its forms? What time is the Guardians
game on Saturday six ten? Perfect? A lot of times

(01:13:50):
we get preempted, we're on later than ten because the
Guardian's game either goes long or you know, is just
a regular game. But I feel pretty confident that a
six ' ten start we'll be ready to go by
ten o'clock. So any if you're a fan of that show,
fanom metal, you've got a request, or your band or whatever,

(01:14:13):
you can always email us. It's two HTM at WMMS
dot com. Alan ratt ate more than me. I didn't
need anything before, hoping for Swedish meatballs. Yeah, the Clamhammer
guys were back on the boat too, so was there
not food?

Speaker 7 (01:14:30):
There was not food.

Speaker 6 (01:14:31):
I didn't even I heard a couple of people mentioned it.
I think maybe you mentioned it as an aside, but
I was telling everybody. I was like, Oh, we're gonna
food and booze.

Speaker 7 (01:14:39):
I was too.

Speaker 6 (01:14:40):
I thought there was. It didn't even occur to me
when we were on the boat. I didn't know there
wasn't food. I didn't notice.

Speaker 13 (01:14:47):
There was food for purchase, but there were not like
in years past where there's just like a little buffet
down there you had to go and spend.

Speaker 6 (01:14:56):
Oh, go figure that out.

Speaker 7 (01:14:57):
I agree.

Speaker 5 (01:14:58):
I'd rather have food for people, I.

Speaker 13 (01:15:00):
Fully agree, especially if people are buying tickets.

Speaker 6 (01:15:03):
Well, then that's on me. Then I misunderstood because I
thought that it was I know, we were telling people
to bring cash and tell them they have the app
on their phone all and kind stuff. Yeah, it didn't
even It wasn't even like in my field of vision.
And then I think somebody mentioned when we were in
the flats, they were like some friends of mine were
like getting food and I was like, oh damn, I

(01:15:24):
didn't know that. Yeah, all right, well that's something for
next year.

Speaker 16 (01:15:28):
Then.

Speaker 6 (01:15:31):
Okay. Adam Sandler doing some grape material on his New Hour.

Speaker 5 (01:15:37):
Did you watch any of this? I haven't, Sandler.

Speaker 6 (01:15:40):
I think there's some funny stuff in it. Bill said,
it's all over the place, and it kind of is.
I haven't finished it. But Adam Sandler's knew Netflix Netflix
stand up specialist called love You and dropped last night.

Speaker 22 (01:15:53):
So I was eating grapes, eating some grapes and it's
going good.

Speaker 6 (01:16:00):
Guy I was with Goes.

Speaker 5 (01:16:02):
And I was like, what what?

Speaker 9 (01:16:04):
He goes you you've changed. I said, get at it.

Speaker 6 (01:16:06):
I always like grapes.

Speaker 19 (01:16:10):
And he's like, I don't like this version of you.

Speaker 6 (01:16:15):
And I said, I've been eating grapes for my whole life.
Calm down. And he goes, I'm leaving and I said, well.

Speaker 9 (01:16:20):
Get out of here.

Speaker 7 (01:16:21):
Then I've had enough of you too.

Speaker 19 (01:16:26):
So anyways, he left, and then I said to the
man who was feeding me to grapes, I said, what
do you pick?

Speaker 6 (01:16:32):
You pick?

Speaker 5 (01:16:32):
I changed and he said, no, no, I know he changed, right.

Speaker 6 (01:16:36):
He was like, yeah, he's changed.

Speaker 9 (01:16:38):
Singing.

Speaker 6 (01:16:40):
I don't even kind of see it coming, but it's funny. Yeah,
he's in a club.

Speaker 13 (01:16:45):
I was gonna say, it doesn't sound like a theater
or anything. Nope, sounds like the people are pretty close
to him.

Speaker 6 (01:16:51):
I'll tell you who's got a fantastic new hour is
Brian Simpson.

Speaker 7 (01:16:56):
Oh, I haven't seen it I don't know.

Speaker 6 (01:16:58):
Oh my god, is he and in ways that you
never see coming. And he kind of this guy brought
who I'm hoping to have on the show because I
think he's coming to Hilarities in November, so I tentatively
have him booked to come in because I would really
like to meet him and talk to him at Brian Simpson.
He recorded it at the Mothership, which is Rogan's place
in Austin. And I think it's on I think it's

(01:17:22):
on Prime. It's either Netflix, Prime, Netflix or Prime one
of those two. Anyway, it's just called Brian Simpson Live
for the Mothership. It doesn't have some funky title or
anything like that. But man, I think he's funny, and
I don't know that a lot of he feels like
a guy who's like ready to blow up.

Speaker 5 (01:17:40):
Yeah, like something's gonna happen.

Speaker 13 (01:17:42):
For years, he's gotten quite a bit over the last
couple of years.

Speaker 6 (01:17:45):
That's what I mean, like stand up wise. I think
people who keep their ear to the ground on that
know who he is. And he's had a handful of
clipse kind of go viral. But again, a lot of
there's there's a lot of you know this there's a
lot of comedians who have a lot of content, a
lot of followers, blah blah, but big picture people aren't
hip to him yet, and he feels like one of

(01:18:06):
those guys. It's very funny.

Speaker 16 (01:18:10):
Hey, gang Curtis from Columbus. I'm perpetually a day behind.
So I was listening to Monday's show and you guys
are talking about Rush and breaking out through WMMS and
all that, and how they're One of their biggest songs
is YYZ for the call sign for the airport. This
is on the internet, so it must be true. But

(01:18:31):
I saw that the time signature for YYZ was also
Morse code for the letters y y Z. So the
beginning of the song with that crazy time signature is
actually the Morse code found for why why the letters YYZ?
Like I said, on the internet, must be true. Okay,

(01:18:52):
by you.

Speaker 6 (01:18:55):
I don't know Morse code. I'll take his word for it.
People who know Morse code, is this are they tapping
out why why Z? In Morse code? I mean it's
a five to four song. The time signature is five
to four ten eight, however you want to describe it.
But I've never heard the story about it being Morse

(01:19:16):
code or why why z? Of course a classic Rush song,
an ode to their home airport, Pearson Airport there in Toronto.
Why y Z is the call sign. Getty Lee said
he was always so happy when he would see why
why Z on his ticket because it meant they were
going home from wherever they were. And this is Mary

(01:19:42):
playing by the way over the Rush tracks.

Speaker 13 (01:19:45):
Green green, blue, blue, blue, green blue.

Speaker 6 (01:19:49):
Oh, you're doing the Alex Lifson part. Oh, I guess
I'm playing the Neil Peer part.

Speaker 7 (01:19:52):
It's okay, all right.

Speaker 6 (01:19:54):
You're doing guitar hero yellow green green, r.

Speaker 7 (01:20:00):
Gotcha and serena again.

Speaker 5 (01:20:06):
Oh, here it comes a double high hat legs.

Speaker 6 (01:20:08):
Boy, here we go, here we go. Oh so good?

Speaker 5 (01:20:13):
Love it?

Speaker 6 (01:20:16):
Yeah, it's great, great, great, So okay, well, thank you.
Uh there's Curtis and Columbus with a little uh. Maybe
that's a bit of old information that every Rush fan knows,
but I didn't know that.

Speaker 5 (01:20:28):
I'd never heard that it was Morse code.

Speaker 6 (01:20:32):
And again, I always felt a little hesitant Rush fans
were really fans of that band, and so I I
was a little hesitant to refer to myself as a
Rush fan because you're compared to people who know those
dudes chapter and verse. But as a drummer, you had

(01:20:53):
to pay attention to that band, and so I would
consider myself a casual Rush fan. Yes, like that really
early proggy stuff I didn't really care about so much,
But I got more into that wheelhouse kind of in
the eighties when I was coming up, and even that
nineties Rush I liked. But Rush fans just lived and

(01:21:17):
breathed that band. If you listen to us on iHeartRadio,
I have been. I was having some conversations this morning,
people telling me that they're hoping that we might have
made some tweaks to make the app experience less intrusive.

(01:21:39):
But if you listen from out of state and it's
going well for you, tell me where you are. Lynn
is in Venice Beach, Florida. Dustin's down in Pandergrass, Georgia.
We haven't heard from Dustin man A guy does. Mike's
in Broomfield, Colorado. Joy is our bureau chief in Lombard, Illinois,

(01:21:59):
suburban sh Cogo brys and Hoboken. Who's a new bureau
chief Victoria. She listens in Baffel, Washington. They're in the
Pacific Northwest. Have you ever been to baffle?

Speaker 7 (01:22:10):
No, that's a gross word, though bowful.

Speaker 5 (01:22:12):
Baffle like bottle with a thh baffle.

Speaker 7 (01:22:15):
Like you're too fat to say bottle.

Speaker 5 (01:22:21):
A great knee high.

Speaker 17 (01:22:25):
Yeah, okay, yeah, and I'm looking for boommate.

Speaker 6 (01:22:31):
Was wondering what your mom was up to.

Speaker 11 (01:22:35):
Got a nice little two bedroom in Wiccasanka.

Speaker 6 (01:22:39):
That's Spokane. Me say, he's I wonder if he knows
Victoria and Bofel. He's in the Pacific Northwest too, so
he checks in from Spokane, You son of a bitch?
Did he give his name? I wanted to know if
you're he's looking for. We were talking about boom mats.
We were talking about people in New York who are
old Anita roommate, eighty six year old dude who moved

(01:23:03):
in with a sixty eight year old guy. Is so
goddamn expensive to live there that even the elderly need roommates.
I don't know if they're widowers or just confirmed.

Speaker 7 (01:23:12):
Bachelors looking for a night on the town.

Speaker 6 (01:23:15):
Yeah, and this guy swings in from Spokane that your
mom's doing, Like, my mom's gonna uproot from Chicago to
go to Spokane to live with you in a two
bedroom apartment.

Speaker 13 (01:23:31):
Space Huh, she doesn't need the she doesn't need as
much space now, so.

Speaker 5 (01:23:37):
I didn't grow up in a huge house.

Speaker 6 (01:23:39):
She's fine, you gotta have space just her and her chihuahua.

Speaker 11 (01:23:44):
Yeah, I'm looking for boommate.

Speaker 5 (01:23:48):
So he didn't say his name, boom mate. Announce yourself,
what are your credentials?

Speaker 6 (01:23:54):
Wondering what your mom was up to?

Speaker 5 (01:23:57):
Right, you know what?

Speaker 6 (01:23:59):
And she you don't know from my mom when she's
worried about my my dad is still talking about.

Speaker 12 (01:24:04):
Your further speaking from the ELECTA.

Speaker 6 (01:24:07):
That's right, Jesus, I was reading they want to start
charging people for Alexa. Good luck with that.

Speaker 7 (01:24:14):
Stop charging us for stuff.

Speaker 6 (01:24:16):
Most people are just using it for like their kitchen
timer when they're cooking. Nobody's going to give you ten
bucks a month for that. You have, dummies, Amazon.

Speaker 13 (01:24:25):
I know some people, like my roommate has hers link
to her calendar so it'll make like announcements where it's
like upcoming event in thirty minutes.

Speaker 7 (01:24:33):
Yeah, why people do that?

Speaker 6 (01:24:35):
But I mean most people they're using it for their music,
or they're using it for whatever something else, something they're
not going to pay for. So because you know, Amazon,
they've I don't know you can say they've taken a
bath on Alexa, but they spend ten billion dollars developing

(01:24:59):
Alexa and ship in these units, and people are not
using them for what they wanted, which is they wanted
people to use They wanted to sell things to you.
That's all it was, Hey, tell Alexa to put this
on your shopping list, blah blah blah. And most people
use it for either their calendar or the weather. Hey Alexa,
what's the weather today? After a decade of free Alexa,

(01:25:25):
Amazon now wants you to pay. And you know what
this is is because all of these tech companies now
are integrating AI in everything, So everybody is using AI
as an opportunity to go, hey, we've got AI now,
So for only ten dollars a month, you're.

Speaker 5 (01:25:46):
Gonna get even better.

Speaker 6 (01:25:49):
Whatever that Yes, So I mean obviously you can still
use it without the money. It's not like if you
don't pay the money, you know they're gonna shut the
damn thing down. Even if they were. I mean, who
could not live with an Alexa?

Speaker 7 (01:26:04):
Well, that's what I was thinking.

Speaker 13 (01:26:05):
I was like, what type of person is so reliant
on it that they would pay for this.

Speaker 6 (01:26:11):
Well, some people have really set up their house like
it's fun. I get it. They're like, oh, I've got
the lights on it, and I've got my third because everything,
you know, if you have all these Amazon related products,
they all talk to each other. It's the whole Internet
of things whatever. But so, yeah, there's some fun to that.
Oh I can set when my lights come on and

(01:26:32):
it all goes through Alexa. That's fine. But most people
are like, I'm totally cool flipping a switch too when
I walk in my house. So that, Yeah, there are
some people who have really set up their homes for this,
But I don't think that's the to coin a Mary
Santora phrase, the vast minority. No, I don't think that's real.

(01:26:53):
I don't think that's most people doing that. I mean,
I'm already paying you for Amazon Prime, and I literally
don't know what I get for that. Maybe I've been
using it for so long that I just take the
features for granted. Maybe if I canceled it it would
take longer to get a package there. I don't know.
But for people who are like, yeah, I'll I'll pay

(01:27:16):
ten dollars a month to use your AI. Okay, I
use it. I use it as my assistant. It sounds
me everything. You know, people who are really busy. I
don't know, but you're right. Everybody they all want to
charge you more now for stuff. You're kind of getting

(01:27:37):
nickeled and dimed now on they're making things a la
carte because these things haven't lived up to the promise.
And again, this is a as far as technology goes,
this is a tale that has been told over and
over and over again. Technology is sold to you with
the promise of this utopia. They'll make your lives easier,

(01:27:59):
but it basically just makes them more convenient. They just
want to sell you stuff. Whether it's Google or Facebook
or whatever. They just want to sell you stuff. There's
no interest in, there's no benefit to them in making
your life easier, and so like, oh, digital assistance. That's
how they're selling the new round of Google Pixel phones.

(01:28:21):
You see the commercials for Google Pixel smartphones now with AI,
y oh yeah cool. Most people don't care. By the way,
they're going to have to figure out AI because as
it is now, people do not care. So if you're
going to try to charge people more money, you know,
fifteen years ago. These companies all had diamond hard boners

(01:28:46):
for you know, whatever technology was going to create this,
like digital assistant.

Speaker 5 (01:28:53):
Oh, it's good the way you interact with technologies.

Speaker 13 (01:28:56):
So you did this thirty years ago Doney's smart House.

Speaker 7 (01:29:00):
Okay, and what happened?

Speaker 5 (01:29:02):
What was Disney's smart House?

Speaker 7 (01:29:03):
Ever? So smart House?

Speaker 5 (01:29:04):
No, it was a thirty years ago to thirty years.

Speaker 7 (01:29:08):
Ago Disney's smart House. Maybe it was forty years ago
at this point, nineteen ninety nine, twenty five years ago.

Speaker 13 (01:29:16):
It's this thing where like it's like science fiction comedy.
I guess it was a like a Disney or Disney
Channel original movie.

Speaker 5 (01:29:24):
And it was a movie, not a product.

Speaker 12 (01:29:27):
No.

Speaker 5 (01:29:28):
Oh, I thought you meant it was like a precursor
to icing a joke.

Speaker 7 (01:29:31):
But you didn't.

Speaker 6 (01:29:31):
Oh, no, I don't. I did not know. I was
not watching Disney movies in nineteen ninety nine.

Speaker 13 (01:29:37):
So this guy, it's about like a teenager whose mom
dies and then they enter some competition to win a
computerized house icy, and then the house essentially becomes like
an overbearing mom, gotcha, and is like giving them directions
like well and punishing them and things like that.

Speaker 7 (01:29:55):
It was a it was a joke.

Speaker 6 (01:29:57):
Simpsons did a Simpsons did a Treehouse of Horror. Oh yeah,
Pierce Brosnan was the smart house. No, Miry, I'm sorry
I didn't watch the Disney original movie when I was
twenty eight.

Speaker 7 (01:30:10):
Well I was only ten and I loved it.

Speaker 6 (01:30:13):
Right, that was right in your smart wheelhouse? Yes, not
in mind?

Speaker 11 (01:30:18):
Who needs broadcasting awards?

Speaker 8 (01:30:21):
I like the sound of my own voiceable when you've
won World Sexiest and five years.

Speaker 5 (01:30:27):
In a row and is one seven w mms.

Speaker 8 (01:30:36):
Bongo La Bonga, then souda.

Speaker 21 (01:30:42):
Melica quell the June photo Si, I like you.

Speaker 6 (01:30:54):
The Guardians avoid the swap but come from behind when
Baby seven five to finish that series against Casey Royals.
So Royals end up taking three, but the Guardians pull
it out in spectacular fashion. I'll go so far as
to say this their pullout game is strong. Hell yeah,

(01:31:16):
they pull it out at the very last minute. So
they will take Tomorrow off. They they're still here at
home come Friday. They'll be hosting the Pittsburg Pirates, who
can't play at home on Sunday because they're at PNC
Park is of course hosting the Green Day and Smashing

(01:31:37):
Pumpkins stop through this area taking our daughter.

Speaker 5 (01:31:42):
It's gonna be her first concert Green Days.

Speaker 6 (01:31:46):
We gave away a bunch of tickets Green Day, Pumpkins, Rancid,
Linda Lindas. I gotta get set times because it's not
like we're gonna take her for the very first band, right.
We're not gonna make her stand there for five hours
watching a handful of when she just wants to see
Green Day, so we'll have to time that out. I
would like to see the Smashing Pumpkins MMS. We're playing
the new Pumpkins song and it's really good. It sounds

(01:32:09):
like a mix between classic Smashing Pumpkins and kind of
current day Billy Corgan screwing around all the time. Is
they really for people who like those og Pumpkins songs?
He's been very experimental for some time now, so it's

(01:32:30):
not everybody's cup of tea. But Guardians avoid the sweep.
Seven to five the final this afternoon. They will enjoy
a day of victory tomorrow and then Friday, seven to
ten is the first pitch Pirates Guardians at Progressive Field
Here on WMMS and on the iHeartRadio app you listen there.

(01:32:54):
I am being told crowdsourcing a little bit from people
who feel compelled to click in. Tell me that listening
on the app today has not had as many as
many interruptions as normal, although the commercials they are hearing
are in Spanish. So baby steps, glass half full. You're

(01:33:18):
not going to get everything you want, nor should you.
You know what they say, Mary, there are two great
tragedies in life taxes. Well, those are saying no, it's
only two things in life are certain death and taxes.

Speaker 13 (01:33:35):
The two tragedies in life are being a Browns fan
and listening to the show.

Speaker 6 (01:33:40):
No, No, No.

Speaker 5 (01:33:43):
There are two tragedies in life, not getting what you want.

Speaker 6 (01:33:49):
And getting what you want.

Speaker 7 (01:33:51):
I don't agree with that.

Speaker 6 (01:33:54):
You don't agree with what you don't think that you
know that's kind of attendant to be careful to wish
for see. You don't agree with that because you believe
in fate. No, I don't agree with it, even destiny.
I don't know that getting what you want would be
a tragedy. Might be because you want to there? What's that?

Speaker 16 (01:34:13):
Is it?

Speaker 7 (01:34:14):
Because you don't know when to go from there?

Speaker 6 (01:34:15):
Well, you never know what the unintended consequences of getting
what you want are. I mean, when you don't get
what you want, you go on with your life. You go, well,
it sucks, But you know, if you do get what
you want, there's a whole other array now of issues
that might come up. This goes back to is there
a problem money can't solve? You say no, No, Now,

(01:34:40):
I say, and I forget which philosopher said this, Mo money,
MO problems.

Speaker 5 (01:34:47):
I think his name was actually Mo Problems. Maurice's problems.

Speaker 6 (01:34:51):
Was the guy way back in the day, and he
would tell people mo money, Maurice problems. It was something
like that. But again, you'd like to do your own research.
I don't think you're alone in that. Let me find
out if there's a problem that immense amounts of money
can't solve. What do you think you've socked the bulk

(01:35:13):
of your casino winnings? That five figure win, you socked
the bulk of it away? Yes? Yeah, what do you
think The first thing is that you're going to pull
a hunk out and.

Speaker 7 (01:35:26):
Pay for I honestly don't think that I will.

Speaker 6 (01:35:29):
Oh you won't, just.

Speaker 13 (01:35:29):
Because things are so I mean, if you think about it,
my monthly expenses are like twenty five hundred dollars.

Speaker 6 (01:35:34):
I understand.

Speaker 5 (01:35:34):
So you're just going to ride that out.

Speaker 13 (01:35:36):
On that's replenishing my savings. Yeah, I know, which is
boring and very no no listen, but it lets you live.

Speaker 6 (01:35:44):
I just didn't know if there was something you were like, Oh,
I really want to but you know, I don't know.
One of the great tragedies.

Speaker 23 (01:35:53):
In life, Alan, you could use this for broadcasts here,
that stupid song, this song about big bros watching you.
There's a retarded that dude that's singing.

Speaker 2 (01:36:04):
People.

Speaker 5 (01:36:05):
What is happening here?

Speaker 7 (01:36:07):
I have no idea, Alan, you could use.

Speaker 23 (01:36:12):
This for broadcast here, that stupid song, that song about
big bros watching you? There's a retarded that dude that's singing.
He belongs to the mental hospital. He should be putting
lever restraints because he's a nutcase. I can't believe you
play mentally ill people on your show?

Speaker 5 (01:36:31):
How meta? Is that?

Speaker 7 (01:36:34):
A lot?

Speaker 6 (01:36:35):
So he doesn't like the song that I am the
show with that, That's what I'm gleaning from that. There's
a song I play off.

Speaker 7 (01:36:42):
The show's over.

Speaker 6 (01:36:43):
I love that guy though I've never I don't think
he's ever called this, but boy, keep calling pal. I
love the cut of his jib.

Speaker 7 (01:36:51):
Whatever's going on there hit him? Whar it hurts?

Speaker 6 (01:36:54):
I have to warrant a phone call, right Yeah, I
don't know if he's calling me now or if he
called me at the end of the show yesterday. Because
there's a song I play at the end of every
show and it's called Big Brother, Big Brother's Watching You.
I've been closing my shows with it for twenty five
years and it's a guy named Sheldon Alman, and it

(01:37:18):
just struck me at the right place at the right
time a quarter century ago. Sheldon Alman is Chicago Boy,
but he was an actor and a singer way back
in the day. I think his most famous credit was
he was the singing voice for Mister Ed.

Speaker 5 (01:37:37):
Mister Ed was this show back in the day.

Speaker 6 (01:37:39):
It was a horse that could talk, and Sheldon Alman
was the singing voice. But he also put an album
together in like the late fifties or early sixties, and
it was called Folk Songs for the Twenty first Century.

Speaker 5 (01:37:56):
And the reason I love it is because it was a.

Speaker 6 (01:37:59):
Vision of what people in the fifties and sixties thought
would be the future. So they're really kind of I mean,
it's just funny and again, Big Brother is just the
song that I liked, and so I end every show
with that. That guy doesn't like it at all. Sheldon

(01:38:21):
Alman's been dead for twenty years now, but you've heard
this song and I play it. Yeah, iuting on it, but.

Speaker 11 (01:38:30):
Be careful in every way, be careful of what you do.
Big brother is watching you.

Speaker 6 (01:38:41):
So he's just got this performer's voice and he's singing
these songs. There's really no kind of hot shot sha
to him, and I'm sure it was probably pretty tongue
in cheek. I think one of his songs for people
who play the video game Fallout. I think one of
his songs was used not in the TV version, but
I mean in that But man, I don't know who

(01:39:01):
that dude was.

Speaker 16 (01:39:03):
I love it.

Speaker 23 (01:39:06):
Alan, you could use this for broadcasts here, that stupid
song that thought about big bros watching you? The retarded
That dude that's singing.

Speaker 6 (01:39:15):
Oh, Mary's throwing the word heard him playing it? Has
this guy not heard what's happening where That's not the
preferred nomenclature anymore. You can't use that word, although he
doesn't sound hip with what's going on.

Speaker 23 (01:39:36):
Retarded dude, that's singing. He belongs to the mental hospital.
He should be putting leather restraints because he's a nutcase.
I can't believe you played mentally ill people on your show.

Speaker 13 (01:39:49):
See then he pivots to mentally ill. He knows, he
recognizes it. Game recognized game.

Speaker 6 (01:39:55):
He knows what he did. Speaking of mentally ill, Donald Trump,
he did a prime time special with a guy who
calls himself doctor Phil. I don't know what this guy is.
I don't know what he was a doctor of. He
hasn't been able to have a medical license for twenty years.

(01:40:17):
So people smarter than me figured out a long time
ago that this guy. That's why he's still on television.
But doctor Phil is also famously one of these guys
in luck. I don't like to get political. I think, well,
of course he does. He's an old right wing dude,
and so he had Trump on and he's thrown him softballs.

(01:40:39):
And most of it was about the assassination attempt, by
the way, which you have to figure that's Trump going. Hey,
you got to ask me a lot of questions about this,
because I need people to remember that I got shot.
Everybody forgot that I got shot, and that's the only
thing I've got going for me right now.

Speaker 5 (01:40:57):
So I need you to ask me a lot of
questions about that.

Speaker 10 (01:41:02):
Man.

Speaker 6 (01:41:02):
He's going on and on and on about how big
his crowds are. All the greatest hits from this dope.
He said, in fact, that if Jesus were counting the votes,
that he would have won the state of California. This
guy's still talking about the last election and Jesus. I

(01:41:27):
name checking Jesus. I guess works with the Rubes. I don't.

Speaker 12 (01:41:32):
I had a crowd so big, I said, there's no
way I could lose California, but automatically they mark it down.

Speaker 10 (01:41:37):
If you're a Republican as a loss, then you lose
by five million votes.

Speaker 6 (01:41:41):
I said, five million votes.

Speaker 19 (01:41:42):
I guarantee, if Jesus came down and was the vote counter,
I would win in California.

Speaker 6 (01:41:49):
Okay.

Speaker 22 (01:41:50):
In other words, if we had an honest vote counter,
a really honest vote counter, I do great.

Speaker 6 (01:41:56):
With the hispanics, great, what is he.

Speaker 7 (01:41:59):
No about honesty?

Speaker 6 (01:42:00):
He's confusing Jesus Andjeseus there at the end. But I
see this is how little this guy actually knows about
how things work. Because the stereotype like, yes, California is
a blue state, but there are a lot of Republican
voters in California. So this notion that, oh, if you're
a Republican you don't win, there have been Ronald Reagan

(01:42:20):
was a Republican governor. It was a different kind of Republican.
I realized it was a long time ago, but there
have been plenty. Pete Wilson was a Republican a governor
of California. I think so this notion, oh, I lost
because if there's a republic are next to your name,
you automatically lose in California. If Jesus, I'll tell you this,
if Jesus came down, one of these magadopes will call

(01:42:45):
him a woke liberal and strangle.

Speaker 5 (01:42:48):
Him or something if Jesus came down.

Speaker 6 (01:42:52):
So, yeah, it was a lot of talk about the
shooting and Doctor Phil's like, do you think that Joe
Biden and Kamala Harris were got shot? I'm like, what
is happening the streets? What is happening? Yeah, it's pretty wild,
even though.

Speaker 13 (01:43:09):
Both of them released statements being like this should never happen.

Speaker 7 (01:43:14):
My heart goes out.

Speaker 6 (01:43:15):
Of course, Yeah, it was an it's an awful thing,
an attempt at assassination. But he needs people to remember
this because he thought he was going to be surfing
that straight through November, and that's when he was still
when Biden was still the guy. Now Tim Walls, Kamala
Harris's vice presidential hopeful, this guy is like one of

(01:43:39):
these He's like one of these YouTube dads. You know,
there's videos all over YouTube. Here's how you tie a tie,
Here's how you change a flat tire, Here's how you shave.
There's these videos. That's what Tim Waltz is. Yeah, that's
why people love this guy because yeah, he's like he was,

(01:44:00):
there's this TikTok account or Instagram or something. Subway takes.
Do you follow subway takes? No, Okay, Subway takes is this?
They give writers on the New York Subway a chance
to talk about something that's important to them.

Speaker 5 (01:44:19):
And so it's not an accident that Tim Walls is
on this.

Speaker 6 (01:44:22):
But he goes into like how important it is to
take care of your gutters because it is because the
guy lives in Minnesota, and so the guy saw any him.
He was like, hey, what what do you think is important?
Heuse people got to take care of their gutters. Like
that's an actual thing that people like kind of identify with,

(01:44:43):
not how well you did with Hispanics in California or.

Speaker 13 (01:44:47):
What four years ago, how Jesus would counter your vote.

Speaker 6 (01:44:51):
So what's your take?

Speaker 1 (01:44:52):
My take is the most neglected part of home ownership
is the gutters.

Speaker 6 (01:44:56):
It's personal for me. One percent agree.

Speaker 1 (01:44:58):
I've had problems with gutters. For you get your basement wet,
you get ash, dams caused a lot of problems. It's
not good, no, it is not, but there are fixes now.
The other dangerous thing is is that when you live
in Minnesota, falls great time a year, a lot of leaves.
You gotta get up on a ladder and I get
stuck in the gutter. The leaves get stuck in the gutter.

Speaker 6 (01:45:14):
I've seen many a man fall off, many man, seriously,
many a man fall off the ladder. But there's a fix.
You can put a gutter helmet over.

Speaker 11 (01:45:20):
The top of it.

Speaker 6 (01:45:21):
A gutter helmet. It covers it and lets the water
go through, keeps it out of your house.

Speaker 9 (01:45:25):
I see this all the time.

Speaker 6 (01:45:26):
How often do you like looking at gutters?

Speaker 1 (01:45:27):
I look quite often, surprisingly because I can't judge it.

Speaker 6 (01:45:30):
You know, I try not to be judgmental on people,
but when I see a well tended gutter, it.

Speaker 5 (01:45:34):
Says a lot about somebody.

Speaker 6 (01:45:35):
So what's better a well tended or a well tended gutter?
I go with the gutters. I'd go with thee no
doubt in your mind.

Speaker 1 (01:45:42):
No, I think gutters are a big thing that they
really matters.

Speaker 6 (01:45:45):
Where do you buy gutters? The down spouts? I bought
a Minards. He's like my downs. I bought my down
spouts at Minards.

Speaker 7 (01:45:52):
It's a perfect sentence. How can you not vote for
that guy?

Speaker 6 (01:45:55):
Like? This is even all joking aside here, Okay, Gutter
maintenance is one of those boring things that can actually
like cause problems for your house, things that anybody of
any political stripe can understand if they're a homeowner, obviously,
because a lot of right wingers they get really riled

(01:46:17):
up about things that almost happen. They get really riled
up about imaginary scenarios, what bathrooms kids use, or somebody
they'll never ever meet, how that person identifies themselves, or
I want to carry a bazooka in case there's a
guy in Walmart. But something like this that's like a

(01:46:41):
real thing. It's a real pople plogged gutters. Many many
years ago, I did an endorsement campaign for one of
these gutter companies, and that's part of what you're talking about.
You go, hey, you can get water in your basement
because your gutters are screwed up. So it's kind of silly,

(01:47:01):
but it's also like spot on because people go, yeah, yeah,
it's not exactly a policy position, but some people go
under see where the guy's coming from. Take care of
your gutters. That's useful information. Although anybody who owns a
home you don't have to tell them. Getting up on
that ladder. Oh I bet Brian doesn't have leaves in

(01:47:24):
his gutters. No, I bet he's up there gutter guards.
There you go. He's he got wise. He's like, I
ain't scooping these out every year. I'm taking care of business.
Call the Alan Cox Show.

Speaker 10 (01:47:37):
He's your microphone.

Speaker 11 (01:47:39):
So you think your power phone's smart, you're.

Speaker 15 (01:47:45):
One double O seven eight one double O seven.

Speaker 6 (01:48:02):
Three five two to send me a text Alancoxshow dot com.
There's a live.

Speaker 5 (01:48:07):
Stream right now.

Speaker 6 (01:48:08):
Little Billy Squire went home sick, and that is just
fine with me to not have the cameras. If you
listen to us on iHeartRadio, you can drop talkback messages
there for us after ours line is always available as well.
Some people aren't available to call the show live, which
is always ideal, but you can drop voicemails. It's two

(01:48:31):
one six nine eight six eighty nine three in Guardians Indians. Wow.
Guardians pull out that come from behind win seven to five,
closing that series against the Royals and avoiding the sweep,
which is good news. I think Guardians and Roles now
are tied in the standings. Hold on, let me confirm,

(01:48:57):
let me check the standings. Well, yeah, they're about the
same seventy six and fifty eight, seventy five and fifty nine,
but Guardians are still atop the ale central. What's that?
How are the White Sox? I'm glad you asked.

Speaker 5 (01:49:12):
Nobody asked thirty one and one oh one.

Speaker 7 (01:49:15):
We all knew there was a moment. What are you doing?

Speaker 6 (01:49:22):
Yeah, they're eighteen and forty eight at home and thirteen
and fifty three on the road. Oh, it's almost like
there's a typo when you look at the standings.

Speaker 7 (01:49:35):
There's no typo.

Speaker 6 (01:49:37):
I mean the next team in the standings are the
Detroit Tigers who have won twice as many games. Because
that it gets a little compressed, right, Guardians Royals twins
seventy six wins, seventy five wins. Huge gap there with
White Sox thirty one wins. Hey, by the way, was

(01:50:00):
Texan her earlier congratulations to our girl Nicki Glazer?

Speaker 7 (01:50:05):
What'd she do?

Speaker 6 (01:50:05):
She has accepted the role of hosting the Golden Globes.

Speaker 7 (01:50:09):
Hey, look at that.

Speaker 6 (01:50:12):
She's on fire. After that Tom Brady roasted and kind
of taken whatever comes her way, and she has said yes, the.

Speaker 5 (01:50:22):
Eighty second annual Golden Globes.

Speaker 6 (01:50:25):
You know, Ricky Gervais did this for a long time,
so I don't think it's a situation where anybody's going
to cause problems that maybe, you know, he used to
get into trouble with people, But the Golden Globes are
the Hollywood Foreign press, so maybe her thought is this
puts her in front of a different audience that she
might otherwise get. But again, hosting award shows is also

(01:50:47):
famously there's no real upside to it. That's why they
still I don't think have an Oscar's host because Kimmel
said no, he did it for four years. They went
to John mulaney and he said, no, it's not worth
the hassle for people at that level to get paid
twenty grand, Right, it's not worth the hassle because it

(01:51:09):
takes months and months of writing.

Speaker 5 (01:51:12):
And planning and all that stuff.

Speaker 6 (01:51:15):
And if you're doing a nightly show like Kimmel is,
I don't even know where you would find the time
to do that. But he did for a number of years.
But so Nicki Glazer, who has her fingerprints on a
lot of different projects. She's got a podcast. She was
hosting F Boy Island over there. Yes, she said it

(01:51:41):
was like her favorite thing she ever did. It was
the only reason I watched some of F Boy Island.
Someday You'll Die is her latest hour that's over an
HBO two. She got an Emmy nomination for that, and
she's in good company hosting the Golden Globes. Ricky Gervais
did it, like I said, t he did it. Seth

(01:52:01):
Myers of course. Joe Koy, I think did it last year, right,
Joe Coy. They went through a whole bunch of people.
By his own admission, he goes, I how many people
said no for they get to me. And I like
Joe Coy a lot, but he had a hard time
at the Golden Globes. It was not his room because

(01:52:24):
there's like a weird line you got to walk as.
This is another example of somebody who's super popular but
not a household name. Joe Cooy can go out and
do huge venues, but a lot of people the Golden
Globes are like the hell's Joe Coy And he was

(01:52:45):
up there. He's like, oh, I just got the job
ten days ago, and he's like blaming the writers.

Speaker 5 (01:52:49):
It was it was a flop. Yeah, yeah, it was
a big old flop.

Speaker 6 (01:52:55):
So you kind of got to keep your your wits
about you keep your head on a swivel or something
like that. So her immediate lead in is not Ricky Gervais,
it's Joe Coy. But yeah, twenty twenty four, when are
the Golden Globes or like January or February or January,
there it is. And if you wanted to get somebody

(01:53:19):
of the moment, because part of the Golden Globes is
kind of poking celebrities. Yeah, people who don't like to
be poked.

Speaker 13 (01:53:29):
Take themselves very serious. Oh I've met a couple actors
and I don't really like them. They're a very serious group.

Speaker 5 (01:53:36):
Now or would these be people we know?

Speaker 13 (01:53:38):
No, no, no, no, Like these are like people my level,
like trying to get in acting. Where it's like, and
I get it, I'm not an actor, but I've gone
out for a couple of things and I definitely don't
take it as seriously as they do. But it's like, no,
I'm a professional and this is what I do and
this is my life.

Speaker 7 (01:53:54):
But and I get that, but it's like brochow, Yeah,
I think you.

Speaker 6 (01:53:58):
I mean, if you don't take yourself seriously, nobody else
is gonna.

Speaker 5 (01:54:04):
So I get that uptight, insufferable about it.

Speaker 7 (01:54:09):
Yes, And it's like a silly thing you get to do.

Speaker 6 (01:54:13):
Acting is wild, hopefully, I mean they're trying to get
to do it. I mean a lot there's a lot
of actors who aren't working. So but they take your point.
You were saying, what, well, nothing, I was just saying that.

Speaker 13 (01:54:28):
It's like no, no, no, that It's like come on, man,
you get you get it's a.

Speaker 7 (01:54:32):
Silly job to have. You don't need to be this
crazy about it, right.

Speaker 6 (01:54:37):
Yeah, but it's so cutthroat man, Yeah, that's the you
know what I mean. And it's never personal. You know,
they always when they talk to people who have achieved
a lot of success, they're like, what's a really good
you know they do inside the actors studio or that's
going back aways, but they'll do interviews with actors across
any kind of platform and they'll say, what's a great

(01:54:58):
piece of advice or like, it's never personal. You could
walk into a room and they go wrong, height don't
like to shape your face. This is not what I'm
looking for, Like, it's got nothing to do with you.
If you're in any kind of performance based career that
is like that could be the number one thing that

(01:55:19):
could liberate you from driving yourself crazy. Everybody wants to succeed, obviously,
and you can get really bummed out when there's something
you really want and you don't get it, but the
whole like, you know, some the people you're talking about,
people who are deadly serious about it. Yeah, hopefully that

(01:55:40):
works in their favor, but it can also work against
them with someone is like I just didn't like their energy.

Speaker 13 (01:55:47):
You know, it's such a weird thing vibes, you.

Speaker 6 (01:55:50):
Know, Yeah, it's such a weird thing.

Speaker 7 (01:55:52):
Well, and if that's someone you're gonna be working with
all the time.

Speaker 5 (01:55:55):
Yeah, we know.

Speaker 7 (01:55:56):
How I feel about vibes.

Speaker 6 (01:55:59):
You're very into es.

Speaker 7 (01:56:01):
They're real, man, Vibes don't lie.

Speaker 6 (01:56:05):
Yeah, but you're talking about just somebody's kind of demeanor
or you mean there's something more mystical to it.

Speaker 13 (01:56:11):
No, I think you can get a sense of people
pretty quickly, like, or at least I do. Like, when
you talk to somebody, you're like, oh, I like this person,
or they're fine, or you don't have any any kind
of a feeling about them, which is also good. But
then when you're around someone, you're like, I don't know, man,
something's not right, something's off with this guy.

Speaker 5 (01:56:28):
So it was very tense, or somebody's or they're.

Speaker 13 (01:56:31):
Just like they're just shifty or weird, or you're like,
I don't I just get weird vibes.

Speaker 6 (01:56:36):
Yeah, shifty like a cartoon character whose eyes are darting
back and forth.

Speaker 5 (01:56:44):
This guy's a little shifty for me.

Speaker 7 (01:56:47):
Off.

Speaker 6 (01:56:48):
Well, of course, you, ladies, I have a lot of
reasons to try to quickly assess someone too. Yes, yeah,
a shifty guy is not somebody you're gonna want to
hang out with a last it was Shifty shell Shock
rip seth Binzer crazy Town right passed away this past June.

(01:57:13):
People would go, that guy's a little shifty, and he
took it as a compliment.

Speaker 7 (01:57:17):
So hell yeah, I am.

Speaker 5 (01:57:18):
Hell's yes, you got it, sugarye.

Speaker 6 (01:57:24):
Mary.

Speaker 22 (01:57:24):
If you're keeping comedy money in one bank account, and
I believe I remember you saying you have an LLC,
be careful if you're depositing any non business funds into there,
because I assume that's how you pay your taxes, and
it can get real messy if you're putting nine thousand

(01:57:45):
dollars in casino funds into your Chase accounts and transferring
it out.

Speaker 6 (01:57:52):
Do you know what he means?

Speaker 7 (01:57:53):
Yes, I did not do that.

Speaker 5 (01:57:54):
For that reason, because you have an LLC.

Speaker 13 (01:57:57):
I have a bank account and a credit card that
is only comedy money. It gets used for nothing else,
and that's comedy money goes into it, comedy money comes
out of it.

Speaker 7 (01:58:06):
That's it.

Speaker 5 (01:58:06):
What is he talking about? It gets weird with the he's.

Speaker 13 (01:58:09):
Saying if I were to transfer in nine thousand dollars
and that's my LLC, that would be for taxes. They're
like Okay, well you deposited nine thousand dollars into your
business account. See so that's business money. So where did
that business money go?

Speaker 6 (01:58:23):
I see, well it went to my business, ma'am. My business.
My life is my business.

Speaker 7 (01:58:32):
So why don't you mind your own?

Speaker 6 (01:58:33):
Yeah, I mean, your life kind of is your business.

Speaker 7 (01:58:39):
It is.

Speaker 6 (01:58:39):
And when you're you're telling jokes that you know you're
drawing from your life, you go, hey, my life is
my business, and my business is my life.

Speaker 5 (01:58:47):
I keep my mind on my money and my money.

Speaker 6 (01:58:52):
YadA, YadA YadA.

Speaker 13 (01:58:55):
When you're a one person LLC, it's also not as complicated.
If I were to have employer and stuff like that,
it'd be a little bit different, but you essentially file
it as an individual soul surpriet, sole proprietor like.

Speaker 7 (01:59:09):
You would your regular taxes.

Speaker 13 (01:59:11):
Just for the different Instead of a Social Security number,
I have a business number.

Speaker 7 (01:59:15):
Just me. I don't employ, I don't pay anybody. You know.

Speaker 6 (01:59:18):
That'd be a great name for someone who was setting
up like a if you were a medium, people who
believe in that stuff, right, you're setting up kind of
a shop of crystals, or if you were dealing with mystics,
you called yourself sole proprietor.

Speaker 13 (01:59:35):
L I like that, or even a shoe place sol
e sold proprietor like a sneaker show.

Speaker 6 (01:59:42):
So o l E. Yeah, hey, we're sole proprietor. Come
on in. An off duty cop arrested at the Kenny
Chesney concert in Massachusetts because he peeded on a woman's
cowboy boots.

Speaker 7 (02:00:00):
I'd be furious.

Speaker 6 (02:00:01):
Yeah right, Oh a random woman, It says, oh good,
so she wasn't a target. She just happened to be there.
It's probably nuts to butts. They're probably out there. Somebody
saw him do it, called him out. A cop by
the name of Shane Lynch is facing charges of disorderly conduct.

(02:00:22):
One of my best friends when I was a Kid's
name is Shane Lynch or the same guy.

Speaker 5 (02:00:26):
Could he have.

Speaker 6 (02:00:27):
Gone from Illinois to Massachusetts and become a cop and
they've now scooped him up for peeing on a woman's
cowboy boots. That's blasphemy at a Kenny Chesney concert, but
imagine it could have been even worse a Kenny Chesney show.
She could have just as easily been in flip flops

(02:00:47):
or no shoes, right.

Speaker 7 (02:00:49):
No shirt, no problem.

Speaker 6 (02:00:51):
I don't think anyone should be peeing on anybody.

Speaker 5 (02:00:53):
I think that's wild.

Speaker 6 (02:00:54):
There's a hot take. I like that guy. I like
when they talk to them. They're man in the street stuff. Sarah,
what do you think about the peeing there at the
Cuddy Chelsea Show. I don't think anyone should be peeing
on anybody. I think that's pretty wild.

Speaker 7 (02:01:09):
I've into a lot of concerts and that I don't
ever hear that.

Speaker 6 (02:01:12):
I don't think that's representative of what law enforcement in
our state should be doing. It sounds disgusting and horrifying,
and just the fact it's.

Speaker 21 (02:01:19):
An officer, you would think they're there to protect you
from people like that.

Speaker 6 (02:01:23):
Can people just answer honestly, I mean, this is not
representative law enforcem Nobody said it was right. No, We're
not doing a story on a crime wave of cops
pissing on people. Now, that would be a story. Local
police have had to thin out their ranks after a

(02:01:45):
number of officers were discovered street a citywide crime spree
crime p spree.

Speaker 5 (02:01:55):
I don't think anyone should be peeing on anybody.

Speaker 6 (02:01:57):
I think that's pretty wild.

Speaker 7 (02:01:58):
I've into a lot of concerts and that I don't
ever hear that.

Speaker 6 (02:02:01):
I don't think that's represented. She's been to a lot
of concerts and she's never seen anyone pee publicly. That's
like that's concert one oh one. If you go to
a lot of festival shows and you want to wait
in line, you know, you got to find a way
to kind of block yourself from view, or you find
a little nook somewhere, or you have you know, if

(02:02:25):
you're at a show with a handful of people. I
haven't done it myself, but I've seen it done where
you kind of circle the wagons on your friend who's pean.
I've never done that. No, you've never gone to a
show and p penis. It does not a penis. You
see girls squatting. You can see a girls squatting with

(02:02:45):
their friends standing around like they're just talking.

Speaker 7 (02:02:47):
I've done that.

Speaker 13 (02:02:48):
Girl in the middle squad in between two like open
car doors, you make yourself a little like stall.

Speaker 5 (02:02:54):
Not in the lot. I'm talking on the grounds in
I probably on the.

Speaker 13 (02:03:03):
I thought circle the wagon you were saying is like
a move with your penis.

Speaker 7 (02:03:07):
No, that's how.

Speaker 6 (02:03:08):
The people are.

Speaker 5 (02:03:09):
What is that? Who are you hanging out with?

Speaker 7 (02:03:11):
I'm so confused. We're like, you're peeing in your baby helicoptering.

Speaker 9 (02:03:16):
Oh.

Speaker 6 (02:03:16):
I was like, does Brian do something he calls circling
the wagons? No, No, I mean in its in its
idiomatic sense, it's like everybody's united in a common where's
circling the wagons?

Speaker 5 (02:03:29):
We're getting behind each you know, old frontier reference.

Speaker 6 (02:03:32):
No. I literally meant like, there's a girl in the
middle and her friends are gathering around. They're hammered. They're
not going to go wait in line at the Port
of John's. So there's a I wouldn't say a mad
peer at the Kenny Chesney show, but I met the
lady was mad. I would be, yeah, You're like, these

(02:03:56):
are new boots. Goin out there, new boot goofin boots
skookin' Booby Dick.

Speaker 9 (02:04:09):
I would find on.

Speaker 11 (02:04:10):
That highway to that hideaway stock adding in the woods
to do the boot down, turn around, go to.

Speaker 21 (02:04:23):
Down bob.

Speaker 6 (02:04:31):
Boot scooking Booby. Well, he does a good version of
that song. We should have played that on the cruise. Boy,
I really dropped the ball in the playlist. No boot
scooking Booby Hey, John, Yes, what's up?

Speaker 11 (02:04:48):
Not much?

Speaker 10 (02:04:49):
I was going through the TikTok reels the other night
when I was bored. Yeah, and there's this video of
this girl squad down a little bit, being in one
of them red solo cups yep, and she turns around
sets it on this guy's table. As soon as she
turned around, the guy picked it up, through it all
over her back.

Speaker 5 (02:05:10):
And that wasn't staged.

Speaker 10 (02:05:13):
It shirt didn't look stage because she looked pretty ticked.
And her uh friend came over, grabbed her by the
arm and was plowing her away.

Speaker 6 (02:05:19):
I see so, so his drink was already in it
or she just put it on the table and left
it there and he was pissed.

Speaker 11 (02:05:28):
No.

Speaker 10 (02:05:28):
No, The video cut in right as she has squatting
peeing in it, like holding it underneath her short skirt yep.
And then she just turned around and reached over the
rail which was next to a table and staying on
this guy's table, and he picked it up and tossed
it all over.

Speaker 6 (02:05:44):
I thought you were gonna say, John that he thought
he just absent mindedly grabbed it and thought it was
his beer and guzzled it.

Speaker 10 (02:05:52):
No, I ever seen that in person, though.

Speaker 6 (02:05:55):
Right, He's like, this feels a little hot for what
I just sat down all right, thank you, John, I
appreciate it. Maybe she was just doing what the song says,
red solo cup, I fill you up a party, proceed
to party.

Speaker 5 (02:06:14):
How many country songs, of course, But.

Speaker 7 (02:06:17):
That's also Toby Keith, not canin me.

Speaker 6 (02:06:19):
Right, Toby Keith, Yes, the late great Toby Keith. Well,
the late Toby Keith. Yeah, he died.

Speaker 5 (02:06:26):
Not long ago, right, he died at the beginning.

Speaker 6 (02:06:28):
Of the year.

Speaker 7 (02:06:28):
Toby this year, last year.

Speaker 5 (02:06:30):
Yeah, he got real sick, real thin.

Speaker 6 (02:06:33):
But Toby Keith one of the few guys I don't
know that I've ever heard the word proceed in a
country song.

Speaker 7 (02:06:40):
Proceed bud, who is it?

Speaker 13 (02:06:43):
Bubba Sparks uses a lot of weird He's not a
country singer. But I was listening to a Miss New
Booty the other day.

Speaker 7 (02:06:50):
Yeah, like a hype up playlist and he uses wild,
wild words like that.

Speaker 6 (02:06:55):
I thought Bubba Sparks was like an Uncle Cracker type dude.

Speaker 7 (02:06:59):
I don't like, part hip hop, part.

Speaker 6 (02:07:01):
Redneck kind of but he but he's the Booty Booty
rocking everywhere guy.

Speaker 13 (02:07:06):
Yeah, that's the that's the Miss New Booty song. I'm
sure I'm looking at the lyrics. What was the song,
get it ripe, take it off, let it flop? He goes,
put it on me enthusiastically. Whatever it is that you
do it admirably? Yes, what rappers using enthusiastically?

Speaker 6 (02:07:23):
Well, he's got he He had his adverb dictionary and
he was throwing him in there, sipping on patron blog
bloc bloc shody in a.

Speaker 7 (02:07:32):
Thong blog bloc bloc.

Speaker 6 (02:07:34):
Blong bloc bloc. Bubba gonna make his spart with the
ying Yang twins. Oh, they were on there with him.
That was the collab. Booty Booty booty rocking everywhere. I
once was a breast man. Now it seems ever since
I had the pleasure of getting you together. Your chest
is just whatever. As he's about the booty, you're understanding it.

(02:07:58):
I found the buried treasure. Sure, I'll bring the whoop whoop?
You bring your cookbook? Yeah, get it, miss new booty.
Now is the implication that she's had implants or he
is just now.

Speaker 5 (02:08:14):
Seen them. They're new to him.

Speaker 7 (02:08:16):
I think they're new to him.

Speaker 6 (02:08:18):
Okay, all right, well, uh Bubba sparks enthusiastic. Please right.
His real name is Warren Mathis boy. I'd go by
Bubba Sparks too. If my name is Warren Mathis. Warren
Mathis is not throwing out admirably and enthusiastically. Bubba Sparks is.

Speaker 1 (02:08:39):
If you find yourself breathless with constant laughter, congratulations.

Speaker 4 (02:08:45):
Now could you tell oz what show you're listening to?

Speaker 6 (02:08:49):
It sounds fun?

Speaker 22 (02:08:51):
This is the Allen Cox Show.

Speaker 16 (02:09:01):
On Board.

Speaker 9 (02:09:03):
I'm the chairman of the board. I'm a leg.

Speaker 16 (02:09:12):
Board.

Speaker 9 (02:09:17):
Seem just another boy.

Speaker 5 (02:09:27):
A lot of people texted me on the break how
they pee on themselves a concerts?

Speaker 7 (02:09:31):
What because they don't want to leave?

Speaker 6 (02:09:33):
They don't want to leave.

Speaker 13 (02:09:34):
No, I'd rather sprint and miss a little bit of
a song than same pee on myself.

Speaker 6 (02:09:42):
No, two or three separate people. Well, I'm looking at
the phone numbers. Separate people. I only pee on myself
at concerts.

Speaker 13 (02:09:52):
Are they wearing a diaper? They just pee down their legs.
Here's what I think, not that it makes it better.
You're standing there in your jeans, you let fly. Maybe
you have a water or a drink. You pretend to
spill a little on yourself. I don't know if everybody's sweating.
I mean the kind of shows I go to. I
believe this one thousand percent.

Speaker 7 (02:10:13):
You would smell so bad and then your pants would be.

Speaker 5 (02:10:16):
All crusty, crusty from pea.

Speaker 6 (02:10:20):
It doesn't dry like water. I mean the sultant stuff
in it. Yeah, but if your pea is crusty, you
need a drink more water.

Speaker 7 (02:10:31):
You're probably not drinking a ton of water.

Speaker 13 (02:10:32):
If you're at a concert and you're getting beers, Yeah,
that's true. Drinking water so much so that you don't
want to leave to go to the bathroom, you're probably
not leaving to get a.

Speaker 6 (02:10:41):
Water a liquid death as just in New Orleans, people
are pissing all over Bourbon Street.

Speaker 5 (02:10:49):
Yeah, you have to think. It must be wild being
a cop in New Orleans.

Speaker 6 (02:10:53):
If you're beat is the French Quarter, You're like, I
have to look away in I mean, what do you
determine is an offense that rises other than people, you know,
beating each other up. They're not grabbing people for you know,
you can't public urination or whatever.

Speaker 7 (02:11:11):
It's just too much happening. And they got to well,
let's pick the most violent fights and then we'll go
from there.

Speaker 6 (02:11:17):
All been to a lot of shows at the Igora
and the House of Blues where I've seen people not
want to lose their spot in the crowd and they
pee right there on the floor. I have never experienced this,
or at least not known about it. Well, that makes
it sound like they're pulling it out and going on
the floor. I could see somebody just going right. But
there's a mental thing as an adult that you can't

(02:11:39):
pee in your pants, like right. It would take me
ten minutes to just get that up and run. And
if I'm like, Okay, you can pee in your pants,
You're gonna pee in your pants.

Speaker 7 (02:11:47):
You're gonna do it. It's gonna be You're.

Speaker 6 (02:11:49):
Gonna do it. Nobody's gonna know we're here, you're on
the floor. It's all sweaty anyway, metal show or whatever. Yeah, Allen,
I was at the Motley Crue concert when it was
the que. I witness a guy stand in front of
the suite and pee out into the crowd. But he

(02:12:12):
wasn't there much longer, however, Yeah, so security probably came.

Speaker 5 (02:12:16):
People get it.

Speaker 6 (02:12:17):
It's man, It is wild to me how grown people
cannot handle their high. They don't know how much they
can drink before they get outrageous they don't know how
high they can get, Like, how are you a grown
person and you don't know kind of where your limits are?

(02:12:37):
I get like having a good time and you're not,
you know, I don't know if.

Speaker 13 (02:12:40):
It's locked in, but not knowing as much as not
caring that they're like, this is my night out, this
is what I'm gonna do, and I'm getting absolutely obliterate.

Speaker 6 (02:12:50):
I'm going to pee into the crowd. That's how drunk
I'm gonna get.

Speaker 7 (02:12:54):
Right, were you going to do tonight? You're a name
public we think about that.

Speaker 6 (02:12:59):
That's what I'm do. Try and stop me.

Speaker 16 (02:13:01):
You know me?

Speaker 7 (02:13:02):
Where you know about pemy Mary?

Speaker 5 (02:13:05):
How was the Motley Cruse show.

Speaker 7 (02:13:07):
I'm so hydrated of my pew do does a smell
like sparagus?

Speaker 8 (02:13:10):
Uh?

Speaker 10 (02:13:10):
Huh?

Speaker 7 (02:13:10):
You didn't smell it asparagus?

Speaker 6 (02:13:14):
Well, stuff works fast, right, I don't like aspec I
love asparagus, but boy, like, literally four minutes after you
eat it, your peeing and everything smells like asparagus.

Speaker 5 (02:13:24):
I like asparagus very much, I really don't.

Speaker 7 (02:13:27):
I don't know. It's like tastes sour kind of it's
a little I don't like the flavor of it.

Speaker 6 (02:13:33):
At all, a little bit of a girl from Queens.
Alan not Alison. Alanson is an n stuck there in
the middle. Alanson Chavez. It was a teacher. She's a
cute boy. She's a teacher in Queens and she quit
to go work at Hooters. The headline of the story

(02:13:57):
from ABC's to Double d's, Yes, I actually this feels
quaint in the age of only fans. Yeah, She's like
she must have come to the conclusion. She didn't want
to go that far. But she's like, I can't make
any money teaching. She was a grammar school teacher and
now she works at Hooters. I was making one thousand

(02:14:18):
dollars twice a month as an educator.

Speaker 16 (02:14:21):
She said.

Speaker 5 (02:14:21):
She's thirty.

Speaker 6 (02:14:22):
She's thirty two. She's a single mother of one. She said,
Now I make a grand in two days.

Speaker 7 (02:14:28):
Good for her.

Speaker 5 (02:14:29):
You make five hundred bucks a day at Hooters and Queen's.

Speaker 7 (02:14:32):
Probably huh, it's all taurists and whoever else.

Speaker 13 (02:14:37):
Your boobs are out, probably good tips if they're Yeah,
you can make five hundred dollars in the restaurant industry
pretty easy.

Speaker 7 (02:14:44):
Yeah, I will, saying I'm currently working on curs.

Speaker 6 (02:14:47):
I left my tenure teaching job when I was like
elementary school special tradition easy.

Speaker 7 (02:14:52):
For three years?

Speaker 6 (02:14:53):
Is she oh ten years? I thought she said tenured.

Speaker 7 (02:14:55):
I thought she said tenured too.

Speaker 5 (02:14:57):
I'm like, ah, where are they tenure in grammar school teacher?

Speaker 7 (02:15:00):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (02:15:00):
So she did it. Also, like right out of college
she gets a job. She's thirty two, she gets a
job teaching.

Speaker 16 (02:15:06):
Thank job.

Speaker 6 (02:15:06):
Wow, this is like elviny school specialization easy for a
time year that the teaching us to said.

Speaker 7 (02:15:12):
I wanted to make a career such as the text,
So I did that legal faith. I entered a book here.

Speaker 8 (02:15:17):
Unfortunately didn't work out with the Appladisha, the parently working
into the getting into text.

Speaker 5 (02:15:23):
But I like about working on uns is the fact
that it's flexible.

Speaker 8 (02:15:26):
I like to network and meet different people and making
a meaning let costs me more money to Edward, make
you what I.

Speaker 10 (02:15:33):
Want to say?

Speaker 6 (02:15:34):
I mean, God, bless you do you do whatever you've
got to do. Many single mom and take care of
your kid. Yeah, but it feels old school, like oh,
I got a job at Hooters because those places, by
the way are shutting down left and right, like you're
on a sinking ship there at Hooters. But hey, I
feel like box today.

Speaker 13 (02:15:54):
Always be old weirdomen going to Hooters who think it's
funny and ask for the chicken breast.

Speaker 7 (02:16:00):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 6 (02:16:01):
Hey, do you guys have.

Speaker 5 (02:16:04):
Chicken breast?

Speaker 9 (02:16:05):
Is that a thing?

Speaker 5 (02:16:07):
The chicken from the office.

Speaker 7 (02:16:09):
Oh okay, I'll take the chicken breast, hold the chicken.
And then the servers like, is that what you actually want?

Speaker 5 (02:16:15):
And he's like, no, I want the gaba ghoul.

Speaker 7 (02:16:17):
No he gets like a grilled cheese or something yeah,
or hamm yeah. He goes like, no, ham and cheese
or something.

Speaker 6 (02:16:23):
Well, my sister was a Hooters girl when she was younger.
She's a few months older than you when she was younger,
and she's like, the managers can't keep their hands off
the girls. So we got to the point where she
was like, you know, telling one or two dudes that
were the managers to get ft, and it's got to

(02:16:46):
be too much, so she bailed. But I just remember
when I was like just out of college and I
was dating a girl who worked at Hooters and I
would drop her off at work downtown Chicago. I would
drop her off at work at ten in the morning,
and there were these two old dudes sitting in a booth,

(02:17:08):
and I would pick her up at the end of
her shift and those guys were still there. Yeah, And
I'm like, and that was back when Hooters had bouncers.
I don't know if that's even a thing anymore, but
they used to have a couple of dudes kind of
like air marshals, you know, yeah, where they're like, you
don't know that they're on the flight. They had a
couple of kind of burly dudes to keep an eye

(02:17:29):
on things. I don't that's probably not even a thing anymore.
You're kind of on your own. But yeah, these guys
would sit there all day. She working like an eight
nine hour shift. These just sitting there all day looking
at the girls, and the girls all knew them. Yeah,
you know, so, I'm sure there was nothing particularly nefarious

(02:17:50):
about it, But I'm like, you guys got time to
sit there all day.

Speaker 7 (02:17:54):
We had two guys at the bar worked at in
college like that. God, what were their names. The two
old men.

Speaker 13 (02:18:00):
They came in and they would drink scotch and they'd
sit there for like four or five hours at a time.

Speaker 7 (02:18:04):
They tipped really well. They'd give you back rubs.

Speaker 13 (02:18:06):
But they were just two old best buds who hung
out at Arni's and they would sit in the same
booth every time, order the same pizza. They would do
like three or four double scotches, each slowly sipping, enjoying
their weekly visit together. And yeah, everybody, God, I can't
remember their name now, I haven't thought about them in forever,

(02:18:27):
but it was kind of the same deal where it's
just like there would be like Saturday nights if one
of them got all two hammered and didn't do their
like went over their three drink limit would be like
one in the morning, and they're still sitting there.

Speaker 7 (02:18:38):
Like, right, this place is a nightclub. Now, what are
you doing is eating pizza in the corner?

Speaker 6 (02:18:46):
Alan, I go to festivals and people pee and zip
lock baggies and throw them on the ground. Well, you
get a nice tight seal, right, yellow and blue make green? Ellen?

Speaker 5 (02:18:59):
What kind of peas is that? They're crusty?

Speaker 6 (02:19:01):
Well, that was my question.

Speaker 13 (02:19:02):
I don't pee on things that aren't You don't pee
in your pants, no, but I'm saying, wouldn't an old
hip ant do that at the casino?

Speaker 6 (02:19:10):
Pie in your pants not water?

Speaker 7 (02:19:12):
So it was, it's not gonna dry.

Speaker 13 (02:19:14):
It's got salt in oh, I know, but it is
a dry, completely clear.

Speaker 6 (02:19:20):
But like ninety five percent of it is water. You've
got some ammonia and other things in it, but it's
ninety five percent water.

Speaker 7 (02:19:28):
Sure.

Speaker 13 (02:19:29):
But if you're dehydrated and you're peeing bright yellow apple
juice pea, yeah, that's not gonna crusty.

Speaker 6 (02:19:37):
Yeah, and beer pee That's what I'm taking is the worst.

Speaker 13 (02:19:42):
You're not like, this isn't a regular day at the
office where you bring in your giant jug.

Speaker 7 (02:19:46):
That's like two more drinks almost there. No, you're at
a festival.

Speaker 6 (02:19:50):
You're hot, you're sweaty, you're drunk, you're ja yeah, dehydrated
at a festival.

Speaker 7 (02:19:55):
That's what I mean. No chancels pants aren't crusty after that.

Speaker 6 (02:20:00):
Well, listen, I would dissuade you from peeing in your
pants at the iHeartRadio Music Festival. How about that. This
is an indoor thing. It's at the T Mobile Arena,
and I very much want to send you. But if
you are a pants pier, just go to the bathroom
when Chris Martin is playing. All right, I'll make it

(02:20:20):
easy for you. There's the shorthand when the coold play
guy gets up there, go have a waz. This is
one thousand dollars for you, and then you and a
pal can go to Vegas for the iHeartRadio Music Festival
the twentieth and twenty first of September not far off,
so good luck. Now your chance at one thousand dollars
and a triche the Art Radio Music Festival.

Speaker 4 (02:20:41):
That's the nationwide keyword music to two hundred two hundred.

Speaker 6 (02:20:45):
You'll get a confirmation text and then play and your
data and message rates apply in.

Speaker 12 (02:20:49):
This nation wide contest.

Speaker 4 (02:20:50):
That's music to two hundred two hundreds.

Speaker 6 (02:20:54):
Oh my goodness, what an exciting time, What a day?
How bum you out with this?

Speaker 7 (02:21:03):
Perfect thank you?

Speaker 6 (02:21:05):
I got a letter from Leslie and his subject just says,
what a day to have eyes and know how to read.

Speaker 5 (02:21:16):
And she just linked me to an article.

Speaker 6 (02:21:18):
Texas woman found engaging in beast reality with dog after
husband's arrest for exposing himself to children.

Speaker 7 (02:21:29):
There's a lot going on there.

Speaker 6 (02:21:31):
There is a lot going on. They were arrested after
dozens of disturbing photos were on his phone. I feel
like we talked about this. I think we might have
talked about this a lot. We talked about the brown
trout lady. Yeah, there was the lady who got busted
because she posted a video of herself banging a live trout.

(02:21:55):
The woman there were multiple videos of the woman getting
it on with their great Dane. The great Dane is
the world's biggest breed of dog. So this is not
a chohahua. She couldn't find a horse, right, is a
great Dane? Well, she said, it just turned out to
be merely a good Dane and h Yeah. They confiscated

(02:22:21):
the husband's phone after he was charged with indecent exposure
and then they're going through the videos looking for pictures
of him.

Speaker 5 (02:22:29):
Here's the wife getting it on with a great Dane.

Speaker 6 (02:22:35):
He was caught pleasuring himself while he was following children
around and h eb, that's the big supermarket chain down
there in Texas if you've ever been.

Speaker 12 (02:22:46):
So.

Speaker 6 (02:22:46):
They charged him with that and then found her videos.
They were taken away in handcuffs while their two children
eighteen and ten, and three other dogs were rescued. He
is a former Navy sailor and the wife is a

(02:23:07):
family nurse at a nearby primary care until she was fired. Yeah,
could you come in here and bring everything in your
desk with you. It has come to our attention. We
were just in here watching some video and is this

(02:23:27):
you with the dog with the Great Dane.

Speaker 5 (02:23:31):
Well they don't say what the dog's name is though,
by the way, it's my dog, so.

Speaker 6 (02:23:37):
You know I'm allowed in their driveway. It was a
pickup truck with a sticker on the back that said
Wildlife Rescue and Relocation.

Speaker 10 (02:23:48):
No.

Speaker 6 (02:23:49):
The neighbors told the local news that the couple were
known for their affinity with animals and used to jokingly
call the guy the pet detective. So, yeah, imagine that
because he has to film his wife doing that with

(02:24:09):
the dog, right family dog? Yeah, she's not setting up
a tripod, and then you know, while he's at work,
she's like, oh, this would be fun. Uh, he's got
to film this, and everybody's got their kink I get it,
and there are you know, it's it's widely frowned upon
unless you live in South Euclid. It's widely frowned upon.

(02:24:31):
But you know that's your mom and dad. There's two kids, yeah,
eighteen and ten. One of them is a legal adult,
and they're like, oh wait, what because word's gonna get around.
It's now a public story. Like that's change your name
level story. If you're those kids, you're moving away family.

(02:24:53):
They were sent to live with relatives, is all it said.
Investigator in charge says. In the twenty plus year I've
been doing this job, nothing amazes me anymore. I guess
that's a good place to be, you know, because the
cliche is always like thirty five years of police work.
My god, I've never seen anything like this. Guy goes, Eh,

(02:25:15):
people banged dogs. You got people banged dogs. You got
people whacking off in the deli section at the AHV.
World's a wild placed, No go ahead.

Speaker 13 (02:25:31):
I was just gonna ask if they, like, not if
there were signs, but if all the neighbors are like, yeah,
they're big animal people, Like I don't know, I don't
know what I'm asking. I'm like, there has to be
someone who's like a little too over enthusiastic, you know
what I mean, Like, why do you keep rescuing all

(02:25:54):
those dogs?

Speaker 20 (02:25:55):
Do you don't?

Speaker 6 (02:25:55):
Like fifteen that's the kind of rescue no dog needs.
By the way, you're just re locating them, not rescuing them.

Speaker 13 (02:26:01):
Who rescued who you know, like that kind of a
if they're that into it, they're pet and it all
sexual and gross.

Speaker 6 (02:26:08):
Well, apparently they kept it under wraps. But a Great
Dane is a giant animal, by the way, it's a
big well, it's the biggest breed, one of the two
largest dog breeds in the world, along with the Irish wolfhound.
So it's it's a big dog. But I guess that's

(02:26:30):
what you know, because if you're the husband, obviously they
each had their own problems. He had a thing for kids,
so to him, he's like, this doesn't bother me at
all that my wife prefers the dog to me, because
that's not even on my radar. Honey, I'm glad you
have somebody, because boy, I'm no good at all. I'm

(02:26:52):
over here and I got nothing for you.

Speaker 7 (02:26:55):
Cannot be less attracted to you, all right, once you
turn nine, you're.

Speaker 6 (02:26:58):
Way too old for me. Thirty two. It's twenty two
years too old for me. Not robbing the cradle in
that way. A Great Danes stand thirty two inches tall
at the shoulder. That's almost three feet tall at the shoulder,
Thank you, Leslie. The question mark she mentioned somehow the

(02:27:23):
article is worse than the title leads to believe. Yeah,
you kind of got a false sense of security with
the title. Call the Alan Cox Show.

Speaker 7 (02:27:31):
I was on this radio station in Cleveland.

Speaker 1 (02:27:33):
Oh two seven eight one double oh seven.

Speaker 6 (02:27:36):
Or one four eight one double oh seven three five
to send me a text Alan Kosher dot com for

(02:27:58):
the emails. No video stream right now, possibly tomorrow if
Young Billy is good enough shape to be back, So
we'll see you win tomorrow. Yeah, Tomorrow's Thursday by my
math Guardians, come from behind and pull out the wind,

(02:28:22):
avoid the sweep as it were, because up until the
last minute they were getting ready to get rolled over
by the Royals. But seven to five is how it
ended up, and so that will propel them into the
weekend series here at home against the Pittsburgh Pirates. They'll
have Tomorrow night off, but then back at Progressive Field
Friday night, seven to ten is the first pitch there,

(02:28:43):
and then they'll play them an hour earlier on Saturday
six ' ten. That's good for my purposes because I
don't like getting preempted on Saturday nights. What do you
mean preempted, Alan, Well, we do a metal show here
and it starts at ten pm, and it's cleverly tight
old two hours to midnight. It's a little play on

(02:29:04):
the title of an Iron Maiden song, Mary, and so
that's what we call it. And it will start Saturday
night at ten because I think the game will be
done by then. Here's a little two minutes to midnight
from Iron Maiden off of the Power Slave album ever Bola. Yeah, Oh,

(02:29:29):
Nico McBrain on the drum. Brian and Iron Maiden at
all if you.

Speaker 7 (02:29:34):
Pay attention to them, never really mentioned.

Speaker 6 (02:29:36):
That Nico's a good drummer. I don't think I'm gonna
get to see these guys. They're finally doing some American dates.
They're they're not coming here, They're going to Pittsburgh. I
love to see Iron Maiden. Haven't seen them in forty
two years. I saw Iron Maiden when they opened for

(02:29:59):
Judas Priest. That's how long ago it was. They were
just getting going. AnyWho two hours to meet No Saturday,
nothing of the Metal. Me and Corey Rotick and pet Butler. Hey,
do I sound like I have a bit more pep
in my step to you?

Speaker 23 (02:30:20):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (02:30:20):
You hear anything in my voice where it sounds like
I just got good news?

Speaker 6 (02:30:24):
Sure? Does, because I did. I just got paid out
that I got my Venmo money from that class action lawsuit.

Speaker 7 (02:30:34):
Oh the rich get richer.

Speaker 6 (02:30:40):
Yeah, eight dollars and ninety three cents from Venmo. Unreal
for that class action lawsuit.

Speaker 13 (02:30:48):
Baby, and you're over here bitching I've never win anything,
akaplay slabrash, don't.

Speaker 6 (02:30:53):
I I know, I can't say that anymore.

Speaker 7 (02:30:56):
Sounds like you hit the lottery of what yep.

Speaker 6 (02:30:58):
Guess who else is setting up an LLC ACLLC that's right,
can finally wash off at criutter cruncher nickname.

Speaker 5 (02:31:09):
Everybody's been given me.

Speaker 6 (02:31:12):
Eight dollars and ninety three cents, that's right, American Cash,
all these finance apps, by the way, they have to
pay out these settlements because everybody has data breaches. Now,
Like if you use cash like I, for whatever reason,
everybody I know that I send money to uses a

(02:31:33):
different app. I wish I could get everybody on the
same app, right, So I'm using cash app, I'm using Venmo,
I'm using Apple pay, I'm using whatever else I have
on my phone. I'm using all of them. Because of
the different people that I send money to. PayPal, cash app, Venmo,

(02:31:54):
Apple pay cash app has got a big settlement coming too.
They got to kick out fifteen million dollars to people
who got who had to deal with a security breach.
Oh for it cash app. So in that one, some
people are getting like two grand.

Speaker 7 (02:32:12):
It'd be cool.

Speaker 6 (02:32:14):
But anytime, because a lot of times people go, well,
I didn't I didn't even know about this.

Speaker 5 (02:32:18):
How am I in this?

Speaker 6 (02:32:19):
Is this a scam? I didn't know a lot of
times you'll get something in the mail that looks like
junk mail and you'll throw it away and if you
read it, it would say you have to opt out
of this. So you'll get like a lot of times
you get a paper check in the mail and it's
invariably yes it's for like a dollar seventy five, but

(02:32:41):
sometimes you hit it big. Sometimes you hit it real big.
And so eight dollars ninety three cents from Veno Mary,
that's almost nine dollars.

Speaker 7 (02:32:56):
It's a lot of money, man.

Speaker 6 (02:32:57):
Yeah, yeah, that's I don't know what that's gonna get me.
I'm going to take the weekend to think about it.
N my almost nine nimes from VENMO, So thank you, Yes,
I am excited. Sorry, Okay, So you know apparently the

(02:33:19):
app is not working as well as I would have hoped.
Today it's all the goddamn Ryan Seacrest casino ads. Have
you heard these? They're on television, they're on the radio.
They're like Chumba Wamba, chumbawamba or some chumba casino. It's
Ryan Seacrest, who's one of the golden boys in this company,

(02:33:41):
and they got him doing some casino advertisement, and so
people hear it every five goddamn minutes, whether I'm talking
or not. Well, listen again, I mentioned at the top
of the show today that conversations were had this morning
that they were hopefully tweaking some things that would mitigate
that situation. It doesn't sound like that's the case so far.

(02:34:05):
So on we go and we'll hope for the best.
But I can assure you it's got nothing to do
with me. It is all very much above my pay grade.
I can I can only do.

Speaker 5 (02:34:18):
I can't do everybody's job.

Speaker 7 (02:34:19):
You could try.

Speaker 6 (02:34:20):
I can't do this, and the digital team's job too.
And again, I don't make one extra penny from the
advertisements that they're on the podcast of my show, So
I genuinely couldn't care less I just want the audience
to have a positive experience. Alan, I thought you were

(02:34:46):
gonna say you got paid for your comic books. No, No,
that is all. That's I don't know what. Yeah, I
don't know.

Speaker 5 (02:34:58):
I don't know, no idea. Oh, somebody left a message
for you.

Speaker 12 (02:35:08):
Oh, there is a ton of calcium in PA that
dries and becomes like stalagtites and stalagmites that you might
see in caves and caverns.

Speaker 6 (02:35:24):
Oh, that's it, I guess. Okay, r okay. So are
they stalagmites or stalactites that you get in your pants?
Then what if you're wearing stalactites to a show and
you stalagmite pee on yourself?

Speaker 7 (02:35:37):
Well, you figured it all out. I don't even know
why you're asking now, but I knew it. There's there's
other stuff.

Speaker 6 (02:35:43):
No I know, But all I'm saying is p is
still ninety five percent water. So that to me, didn't
see whatever else is in there didn't seem like enough
to make your pants, in your words, crusty, it would
it would, Well, pants, you're not gonna You're not gonna
live that one down. So are stalagmites the ones from

(02:36:06):
the floor or the ceiling.

Speaker 7 (02:36:08):
I don't know. One of them is from the floor.

Speaker 5 (02:36:10):
Orm's from the ceiling, right, like the cherubim and the seraphim.

Speaker 7 (02:36:14):
Isn't there something about bats too, don't they have a well?

Speaker 5 (02:36:17):
Bats traditionally hang from the ceiling.

Speaker 7 (02:36:19):
Yeah, they don't hang from the floor.

Speaker 5 (02:36:21):
I don't think they hang from the floor.

Speaker 6 (02:36:23):
I think if you look at them upside down and
they're on the floor, it looks like or if they're
on the ceiling and you turn your head upside down
and look at them.

Speaker 5 (02:36:30):
It looks like they're on the floor.

Speaker 6 (02:36:31):
They're walking upright. Stalagmites, this is a fifty to fifty.
It's a coin coin flip. Do you think it's the
ones from the floor or the roof of the cave?

Speaker 7 (02:36:41):
I'm gonna say, stalagmites hang down.

Speaker 5 (02:36:47):
I'm sorry, No, it was a coin flip. They are
the ones from the floor of the cave.

Speaker 6 (02:36:57):
Calcium salts deposited by dripping water and off a uniting
with a stalactite.

Speaker 7 (02:37:04):
Wait, what did you say, I sites are on the top?

Speaker 6 (02:37:09):
Oh right, no, yeah, no, these are on the floor. Wait.

Speaker 13 (02:37:13):
If they're dripping, they're on the top and they're coming
in contact with a.

Speaker 6 (02:37:19):
A stalag mite is a column rising from the floor
of a cave. Okay, see, I was right because I
read the definition on Google. I was right. I read it.

Speaker 7 (02:37:32):
It's not how that works.

Speaker 6 (02:37:34):
They're typically composed of calcium carbonate, but may consist of lava, mud,
sand sometimes Pete, ah the Pete the rolling hills of Scotland,
like in a bog.

Speaker 7 (02:37:53):
Pete's like band aids.

Speaker 5 (02:37:55):
I'm sorry, Pete. Who is Pete?

Speaker 13 (02:37:57):
Pete is what makes scotch taste like it does? Oh really,
I feel like any scotch I've ever had tastes like
band aids. To me, Wow, that pd taste I've never
ever liked. Okay, Scotch is my mom's drink. Yeah, I
don't believe anybody truly likes it. You think you like
it or you think you should like it.

Speaker 6 (02:38:17):
Well, I mean, I'm sure I don't see the point
of drinking and drink you don't like to be the guy.
I mean, Pete whiskey is considered like the premium whiskey.

Speaker 10 (02:38:28):
Right.

Speaker 5 (02:38:30):
Once a year, my mom would have a couple of scotches.

Speaker 6 (02:38:35):
Unlike New Year's Eve. She and my dad would go
to a party or something. My parents weren't big drinkers.
Maybe my dad would have a couple of beers when
he was playing poker or whatever. That didn't happen that often.
But my parents were not teetotalers, but they rarely drank.
It was just not part of their lives. But my
mom New Year's Eve, she'd have herself a couple of scotches.

(02:39:00):
That was her drink. I guess I never took the
time to ask her if it was a Pete scotch.
Next time I talk to her, that'll be my opening line.
Hey Mom, Hey, did you like a Pete Scotch? I
bet she'll have no idea what I'm talking about. Are
you looking for a boot maate right now? Of course

(02:39:23):
she's not. I don't need a boom and she's in
the she's in the house. Still she's not. She didn't
need a boom mate. That guy that called is in Spokane.
Pete Scotch just tastes like campfire in a glass, I'm
being told.

Speaker 7 (02:39:37):
I disagree.

Speaker 5 (02:39:38):
Well, you said they taste like band aids.

Speaker 7 (02:39:40):
That's what I think they taste like.

Speaker 6 (02:39:41):
Yeah, which doesn't sound good. But when you initially said,
why does pete taste like band aids. I thought we
were talking about a person. Yeah, yeah, Pete Holmes. Why
does Pete Holmes taste like band aids? Just lucky?

Speaker 5 (02:39:56):
I guess probably genetic something in his sweat.

Speaker 6 (02:40:00):
Hey Michelle, Hey, guys, Hi, stalag mites have a G
and they come from the ground. Oh see, I was.
I was like, there has to be there has to
be a mnemonic device. Stalag mites from the floor, still
lag mites. Yes, they have a G and they come

(02:40:21):
from the ground. Stalactights stalac stillac they come from the ceiling.

Speaker 7 (02:40:27):
Not stalag tights.

Speaker 5 (02:40:29):
Stalag mites and stalag tights.

Speaker 7 (02:40:31):
Is stalag tights or stalact type?

Speaker 5 (02:40:34):
I thought it was Stillac sta type.

Speaker 6 (02:40:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (02:40:37):
Okay, so you were saying it wrong.

Speaker 10 (02:40:38):
Who you?

Speaker 7 (02:40:40):
You were saying stallag for both of them. Oh, which
is why I was like.

Speaker 6 (02:40:43):
They both have Wait, so you're trying to tell me
you would have known if I hadn't. Yes, all right,
but listen. But that's good, Michelle. I like the mnemonic
device there stillag. Wait, stalag mites come from the ground,
they have a G. Stillac tights sala. Yeah, but they
also have a T N and m miights and tights.

(02:41:06):
Oh now, I'm all my mites and tights are all
twisted up. Michelle. Michelle has an eminent Okay, thank you Michelle. Yeah,
she did try get me off the phone, I know,
trying to help you. Yep, She's like, hey douche, Hey Dan, Yes, hello.

Speaker 8 (02:41:28):
Guys, thank you.

Speaker 6 (02:41:29):
What's best way to remember the difference is that stlag
tights cling tightly to the ceiling, whereas might reach the ceiling. See,
these are all stallagged tights cling tightly to the ceiling.
Now what about the cherubim and the seraphim which one

(02:41:51):
hangs from the roof of the cave.

Speaker 5 (02:41:54):
I'll call you right back.

Speaker 6 (02:41:55):
Okay, thank you. There's Dan. See stumped him. I knew it.

Speaker 10 (02:41:58):
He had.

Speaker 6 (02:41:59):
Jen better have a third, separate way to remember this,
and boy better be good, Hi.

Speaker 18 (02:42:07):
Alan, hang on, it's gonna make sure I'm turned out.
So it's kind of a creepy way to remember it.
But my third grade teacher told me that slag type
hung like tights when you wash them in the shower,
so like panky hose and forever. That's all I remember

(02:42:31):
is do They're just hanging from first shower and then
the mice can do whatever they want.

Speaker 5 (02:42:40):
To Yeah, that's all I can think of it.

Speaker 6 (02:42:42):
Yeah, they were. I mean, I guess if it helps you. Again,
this is information that maybe you'd ever use in your life,
because unless you're wandering around the Mammoth caves. But even then,
the tour guy's gonna tell you. They're gonna have their
own way of remembering. But the stockings hanging over the
shower curtain rod, Yeah, but it was my.

Speaker 16 (02:43:09):
At that age.

Speaker 3 (02:43:10):
It you know, she was super old. I don't even
remember how old she was, but at that age, you're
all super old. So I just picture some old ladies
stockings hanging over her showers.

Speaker 6 (02:43:22):
Right with like the garter straps and the whole thing.
And yeuh yeah when you were a kid. When you're
a kid, you think all of your teachers are like eighty,
but she was probably thirty five.

Speaker 18 (02:43:35):
Right, exactly right.

Speaker 6 (02:43:36):
Okay, thank you, Jen, I appreciate it. There it is, Mary.
Those are three distinct ways to remember. Stalag mites and
stalac tights. Yes, how about that.

Speaker 7 (02:43:50):
It's helpful. Yeah, that's one of those you'll never forget.

Speaker 5 (02:43:56):
Stalact tights have a tea and come from the top
there you go, all.

Speaker 9 (02:44:02):
O god.

Speaker 6 (02:44:05):
Yeah, but at the end, they both well they both haven't, yeah,
because they both have eights, but mites and tights a
stalactite holds tight to the ceiling. That seems to me
to be the maybe the most, the easiest way to
think about it. Still, stalactites peted scotch taste like iodine.

(02:44:34):
Maybe that's where the band aid thing is coming from. Listen,
I gotta tell you, I'm a little bit surprised, but
I'm actually heartened that so many people know the difference
between stalactites and stalagton It's a lot of people. And
these aren't cave dwellers. These people aren't mor locks. These
are people who just paid attention on cave Day. I

(02:45:00):
have to think.

Speaker 5 (02:45:02):
I guess I didn't.

Speaker 6 (02:45:04):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (02:45:06):
It was a long time, and longer for me than you.

Speaker 9 (02:45:10):
Andy.

Speaker 10 (02:45:10):
Hello, listen, al and you got it all wrong, buddy,
everybody's got it all wrong.

Speaker 6 (02:45:17):
The lag mites, mites are on the ground.

Speaker 10 (02:45:20):
Like the bugs, and I don't have an explanation for
the tights, but the mite.

Speaker 6 (02:45:26):
He's like, I'm only giving you fifty of this whole
equation here. You can figure the rest out.

Speaker 18 (02:45:32):
That's all you need to know.

Speaker 10 (02:45:33):
You can infer the rest.

Speaker 6 (02:45:34):
It's true, if you know one, you know both of them.

Speaker 5 (02:45:37):
But I like the fun little I like the fun
little things there.

Speaker 6 (02:45:41):
Thank you Andy.

Speaker 5 (02:45:42):
Could it be to Andy's in a row?

Speaker 15 (02:45:47):
Yes?

Speaker 6 (02:45:47):
Andy? Hello, Yes, Hello, Hi, Hi, what's up? Andy?

Speaker 2 (02:45:55):
Solamtes There's an m M comes up from the bottom,
up and down, makes a little up from the ground.

Speaker 10 (02:46:03):
And selac tights or the teeth hanging down from the ceiling.

Speaker 6 (02:46:06):
Yeah. Again, these are Thank you Andy. I appreciate it.

Speaker 13 (02:46:11):
This is their moment where this is like, this is
the one fact they remembered and they're like, I have
been waiting years for this conversation.

Speaker 6 (02:46:19):
They were punching around and they go, oh my god,
this dude is talking about stalactites.

Speaker 7 (02:46:26):
Went down in two thousand and eight.

Speaker 9 (02:46:27):
Is we weorthy?

Speaker 6 (02:46:28):
It is my greatest You're right, their moment to shine, Patty.
I'm going to toss it to you before I go
to the break.

Speaker 9 (02:46:36):
All right, sounds good?

Speaker 3 (02:46:37):
A ballet dancer with please when the mites go up.

Speaker 18 (02:46:40):
The tights go down.

Speaker 6 (02:46:45):
I like focusing any situation where the tights are coming
down that falls right into my wheelhouse.

Speaker 7 (02:46:51):
Go up the tights.

Speaker 5 (02:46:53):
I enjoy the whole thing. The mites go up, the
tights go down, all right.

Speaker 7 (02:47:01):
You don't make it creepy.

Speaker 6 (02:47:05):
What the tights come down.

Speaker 7 (02:47:07):
You don't have to like drool about it.

Speaker 6 (02:47:10):
I'm not drooling. That's why. That's why you heard me
keep my mouth closed when I was going. That's not
me drooling. I don't drool, not even when I sleep. Alight,
I gotta break in.

Speaker 5 (02:47:23):
We've covered a lot of ground, a lot.

Speaker 8 (02:47:27):
Okay, Now I must leave you as the Brady bunch
is on and I find four of those children incredibly arousing.

Speaker 9 (02:47:35):
Get out of here.

Speaker 11 (02:47:36):
Be careful of what you say, Be careful in every way,
Be careful of what you do. Big Brother is watching you.
Be circumspect and discreet. Stay light on your mental feet.

(02:47:57):
One slip and you know who you're through. Big Brother
is watching you.

Speaker 6 (02:48:03):
And on with all narratives.

Speaker 11 (02:48:07):
Remember Obedience page and when you watch that TV screens,
remember it works both ways. You disappear in a wink.
Unless you can double think, you'll vanish into the blue.

(02:48:28):
Big Brother is watching you.