SOME OF THE ACS 7/28

The Alan Cox Show

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
The Federal Communications Commission has determined the following content to
be emotionally harmful.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Funny things that you thinks funny aren't funny.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
Jimmy cock Ball, the Time Cox, lo Me Coxshow kicks
ash Man, Welcome, Welcome, Show me what you go.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
I can see a lot of cocks on TV.

Speaker 4 (00:21):
Allen Cox to me, Alan COXO.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Oh know what's about you? By vaders?

Speaker 3 (00:25):
Than this don't be a crazy so let's kick you
get that yo got eight with a safety group?

Speaker 1 (00:33):
Okay, three kick it, Tom Damn put you one time?

Speaker 5 (00:39):
Take it.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Allan Cox.

Speaker 6 (00:43):
Here we go, He'll add, he'll be tying. It's the
Allen Cox Show on one hundred point.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
Seven double U M m as.

Speaker 4 (00:58):
Also, they're in Idaho.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
The governor assigned a bill in the law that criminalizes
the public exposure of breasts.

Speaker 7 (01:08):
No I say, no bourns. I was saying, balloons.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
You can walk on Ohio beaches and show your or
your boobs. Well, I think what this is is that
this is just another one of these things where these
states that are really really trying to stick it to
the single digit portion of the population that identifies as transgender,
and they're just casting this very wide net, right, So

(01:43):
they've criminalized the public exposure of breasts, including male breasts
altered to look like female breasts, or toys or products
that resemble genitals. And this is where the fine people
in the great state of Idaho have really gotten their
dander up, because this would also include truck nuts. Oh
thank god, and so listen, if that is your form

(02:06):
of expression, it's not my form of expression. I think
it's ridiculous, but a lot of people like it, and
you certainly wouldn't think that people there in Idaho would
cot into any kind of legislation that would outlaw truck nuts,
but it sounds like they might be thrown out the
baby with the bath water here.

Speaker 3 (02:23):
I've also heard and argue say what, I'm sorry, go
ahead about this bill, saying, well, it could penalize people
who put certain.

Speaker 4 (02:32):
Things on their trailer hitches.

Speaker 8 (02:35):
I don't you know, there's I don't think we need
to go into that, but there's there's certain.

Speaker 4 (02:39):
Why do they do that?

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Just the branding is truck everybody knows what you're talking about.
Why why are you heave't and hawn and dancing around it?

Speaker 8 (02:46):
Things people put on their trucks that look like the
part of look like part of.

Speaker 3 (02:50):
A male anatomy.

Speaker 4 (02:51):
They call them truck nuts.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
They're gross. And she comes out and says it the legislature.
She comes right out that your testicles. There trucks that
look like the part of bumps a male anatomy. They
call them truck nuts.

Speaker 9 (03:06):
They're gross, they're offensive, and kids on the road see them.
So why wouldn't the police get a call and say
that offends me, pull it off the truck because now
this bill will allow it.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
Are they gonna.

Speaker 10 (03:20):
Make like animals wear diapers so that you don't see
their hanging testicle?

Speaker 4 (03:23):
This is all quality questions.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
I don't know if that's being asked of the Ohio
legislature there.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Listen, I'm all in favor of that. Truck nuts just
because they're stupid.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
I mean, listen, man, they common a variety of colors.
You know, there's women who put the pink ones on
their truck. Nope, I got no, it's not for me.
But I got no problem with truck nuts.

Speaker 11 (03:44):
No.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
Actually, for once I can finally say I agree with
something government does because I hate all of it.

Speaker 12 (03:51):
Tructicles can rid of them, all, all truck balls gone.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
No more. Would you call them?

Speaker 6 (03:58):
Grow? Uh?

Speaker 1 (03:59):
The bumpers?

Speaker 3 (04:00):
No more?

Speaker 13 (04:01):
No more?

Speaker 12 (04:02):
Why because they're stupid? Well, but there's a lot of
stuff that's stupid though, No, no, no, no, that's particularly stupid.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
If I think it's stupid, I don't put it on
my cart. Now do they only? Have you ever seen
them on like like I drive a forward fusion? Have
you ever seen them? Not on a truck that would
be funny, like a sedan or something, you know, or
like a Prius. Listen, you'll remember the quote. And I
want you, you know, because this comes down obviously to
people's liberty and things like that. I want everyone to

(04:28):
remember the quote. First they came for the truck nuts,
and I did not speak out because I did not
have truck nuts. And then they came for the Playboy
Bunny mud flaps, and I did not speak out because
I did.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Not have Playboy Bunny mud flaps.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Then they came for the Molin Labbe bumper stickers, and
I did not speak out because I do not masturbate
to guns and Ammo magazine. And then they came for
me and there was no one left to speak for me.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
That's what the quote is.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
Listen, where does it end. That's what people want to know.
With truck nuts. They're in the great state of Idaho.
They're trying to outlaw your truck nuts.

Speaker 10 (05:15):
You see a lot of trucknuts out there for them
to want to outlaw it.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
Well, of course there are white dudes out there, you know,
rolling coal. Listen, it's all stupid. I'm just saying that
I don't have them on my car because I don't
want them on my car. But if you want to
put them on your truck, you should be able to
put them on your truck. But out there in Idaho, boy,
they are trying to infringe on your liberty, and so

(05:41):
who knows what they reaction while I can tell you
what the reaction is going to be out there in Idaho.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
Don't take my nuts?

Speaker 10 (05:47):
Yeah, of course, again, where are you'll never take these nuts?

Speaker 1 (05:51):
Where are all you dudes with the three percent or
calf tats when it comes to that. You've been screaming
tyranny every time I'm Obama or Biden farted sideways, And
now that it's actually here, it's crickets.

Speaker 4 (06:05):
So I don't know what's going on out there.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
You can take my nuts when you can prime out
of my cold dead fingers.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
Off my chrome bumper. Listen, you go to like a
you know, if you're on a road trip and you
pull off and you go to a flying Pilot Jay
or one of these truck stops, you know you'll see
a full on spiral rack of truck nuts in a
variety of sizes and colors. And listen, I'd love to

(06:32):
know who invented them, because in a certain way, they're
a genius. I mean, they came up with something that
is wildly popular, and if you don't like them, don't
put them on your You know, people love to throw
kids under the bus, people love to use kids. Well,
how am I going to explain? How are you going
to explain? You explain?

Speaker 4 (06:51):
It's a nuts this guy? Am I going to explain?

Speaker 1 (06:54):
If you have a son, you just made it one
hundred times easier for one thing. Some day yours are
going to hang like that kid. They probably won't be
painted silver. They're getting much more realistic too, vain bastards
now they are. They've got the ridges in there, yeah,
crumpled up skin on the bottom, yeah, veiny Because they
kind of started off kind of cartoony, and then you

(07:17):
have to think that somewhere along the line, because every item,
every novelty item, is going to have copycats. Somewhere along
the line, there was someone who said, I don't think
they're realistic enough, and that is where I will part
ways with the original truck nuts.

Speaker 3 (07:33):
You know, someone sitting in a boardroom right now pitching like,
how can we put hairs on them and make it
look even more realistic? You know, I just I feel
like the one side hanging lower Cliff, that was a
fantastic Idea'm hoppy. We updated that and Jim, great job
with the veins. What can we do to make it
look more realistic? We have to figure out how to
implement pubes.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
It is an option. But listen, a lot of people
President Company included don't have any pubes, agreed, But yeah,
you have to have that option for those that do.

Speaker 3 (08:03):
You can't just have one. It's not one nut fits all.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
While several people claim to have invented truck nuts, a
guy named John Saler claims he was inspired to create
them after seeing someone yell show him you got balls
while driving off road, and he began selling them in
two thousand and two. So for twenty four years, this
country has been beset on all sides by this. I'll

(08:32):
show you a little stock photo here on the back
of a gmcu con and just a couple of truck
nuts hanging there. And they're in the state of Idaho. Boy,
if you were to imagine any state they would try
to outlaw them, it surely wouldn't be Idaho.

Speaker 4 (08:46):
But again, this is why, because.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
Those are the kind of states where everybody gets their
undies in a bundle over anything having to do with sex,
recreational or they want nothing to do with it, so
they just cast this really wide net. Who knows, maybe
they'll have a carve ut for truck notes. Maybe they'll
never come to that, but we'll see. And our bureau

(09:11):
chieves in the gray state of Idaho, please keep us abreast.

Speaker 3 (09:18):
Of what's going on there. You know it started with
it like someone will say they invented it. Oh yeah,
do you show me you go pulls. It probably was
like some farmer somewhere hugging a pig sack off the
back of his truck to be funny. Maybe so, and
they're like, oh, that's a brilliant idea. Jim bob Let's
let's market this el bras on Fierro's or car eyelashes.

(09:40):
You know that car thing pisses me off.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
Yeah, the cars are such an extension of somebody's personality.
You see jeeps with like the little rubber ducks on
the dash and it stink, and I'm like, man, all
of that to me. The fewer things my car has
in it, the happier I am. So that's just me
antlers car to be like a rolling testament to their personality.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
And I go, man, it's your car.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
You do whatever you want, as long as it's not
causing problems, right as long as I'm if I'm near you,
I can see around you or whatever.

Speaker 4 (10:15):
But whatever, people are out there doing it.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
Ethan in Rochester, my stepdad's truck nuts on his truck
and one time he got stuck in the mud. Looked
like somebody wiped the wrong way. The Allen Cock Show
on one hundred.

Speaker 14 (10:33):
It all is created in a place like this by
putting fits and pieces of sound together and building them
all up to what you hear.

Speaker 15 (10:40):
The Alley Cock SHOWMMBA.

Speaker 8 (10:47):
We stayed in Detroit on Sunday and the pool like
the hotel had a pool in it and they had
a hot tub that was always a hotel o'clock renaissance. Okay,
it and the show ended about nine thirty nine o'clock.
We got back to the hotel around ten o'clock. I'm like,

(11:08):
you know what, I got time? We can go sit
in the hot tub for a little bit before I
go to bed. And so I go down there, turn
on some music.

Speaker 3 (11:14):
I'm having to.

Speaker 8 (11:15):
Drink in the pool in the hot tub because having
a good time just by myself, kind of relaxing, decompressing.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
And this is a hot tub like adjacent to the
indoor hotel pool erect.

Speaker 8 (11:27):
Up and I'm in there for about ten minutes with
a drink. Yeah, I got a white claw just oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
There's no rule hotels you can do that. You can't
have glass. There art rules in hotels. That's why I asked,
You're not supposed to have boozed by the pools when
you've got a hotel pool?

Speaker 16 (11:43):
Yeah, dude, you know how many times I've filled the
trash can from my bathroom with ice and put beers
in it and taken it to the pool.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
I know people do it. The question is are you
supposed to do it? The glass might be the rule.

Speaker 8 (11:53):
Yeah, glass, I'm not going to take in there, but
one white claw, not a garbage canfold back.

Speaker 4 (12:00):
Yeah, Mary used to be a different person.

Speaker 8 (12:04):
I just wanted to you know. It was because it
was just take the edge off. Yeah, I think the
edge off just you know, get.

Speaker 3 (12:08):
A little uh heat. It was it was a cold,
rainy night, so I was like, this will be fun.

Speaker 8 (12:12):
And I'm in there for about ten minutes and then
this lady and two children come in and I'm like, oh,
it'll probably gonna go swimming or something like that. And
I notice they don't really have anything with them, Like,
they don't really maybe they're wearing their swimsuits underneath their
clothes or something. Nope, they come right over to the
hot tub, take off their clothes, get into their underwear,

(12:35):
and get into the hot tub. And the lady's probably
their grandma. I'm just sing, she's probably in her sixties,
maybe fifties. And then it's like a ten to eleven
year old girl and like a three year old girl
and they're like they just literally, god, take off all
their clothes, get like the little old three year old
gets down to just a pair of panties and gets in.

Speaker 5 (12:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:55):
And I'm just like, all right, this is fun. I
gotta go, guys. Yeah, bye bye. The that was weird
and you're in baby soup all of a sudden.

Speaker 3 (13:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (13:03):
And also the grandma was just wearing like a white
tank top.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
No bra, yeah, bra. And I'm like, I'm not gonna
this is good.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
But then she said, and they'll float, yeah, no harm,
no foul.

Speaker 13 (13:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:16):
I didn't want to see that. It was not something
I was interested in.

Speaker 4 (13:20):
A couple of little floating sausages on top of that
white foam.

Speaker 16 (13:23):
I'm surprised traveling as much as you have, that you
even went into the hotel hot tub.

Speaker 8 (13:28):
Why because they're gross. I know they're gross, but I
showered right here on his frap. I know that I'm
going to go in there and then take a shower
as soon as I get out of there. Yeah, so
like as soon as I'm done, like I walked to
my room and get into a culting hot show.

Speaker 1 (13:42):
We have to worry about yust infections. Man, that's nice.
One of the times we went to Mexico early on
the place that we were staying, all these neighborhood kids
when school was out, they would just run onto the
resort and jump into the pools. Nothing, nothing, they're wearing diapers.
Is this like I don't want to be in a hole,
but but yeah, like I'm I'm paying to be here

(14:03):
a lot of money and yeah, yeah, so it's just
weird that they just come in there.

Speaker 8 (14:08):
I listened to Steve wynn Wood having some you know,
just having myself a little night and then all of
a sudden there's a family in their underwear in the
hot tub with.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
Me, and like what it had just been the grandma?
Oh you know, he's saying, would you have struck up
a conversation? No, because they did not speak English. Oh,
you buried the lead, so there was nothing you were
going to say to get these people like, hey, no,
no bueno.

Speaker 8 (14:36):
Yeah, and I don't Yeah, I didn't think it was
that important. But I don't think that's the lead. I
think the lead is they got in the hot tub
in their underwear.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Right, But the question about a conversation, you wouldn't have
been able to start one.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
Yeah, there was no point at which you said, hey, any.

Speaker 8 (14:52):
Requests DJ bill over here, get the hell out of here.
You know, they had every right to go and use it.
When I was in there long enough. I wasn't playing
on being there much longer. As you have the timer,
it's like fifteen minute max. I was coming up on
fifteen minutes, and I'm like, yeah, that's good enough for me.
It's not as relaxing if there's uh people in their

(15:15):
underwear in the hot tub with you, that even one
in there. Yeah, you know there's some people if they
were in their underwear got in there. Yeah, I'm sticking around,
or maybe I'm going to get more white claws, but
in this case, it was time to call it a night.

Speaker 1 (15:28):
There is a twist to this story. Bill gets out,
he's just wearing us underwear, no bra. Yeah I didn't, no,
no white claw in one hand, holding on to the
skivs in the other. Yeah. So you didn't get out
and shoot them a disapproving look. No, did you shake

(15:49):
your head and huff and puff?

Speaker 17 (15:51):
You?

Speaker 1 (15:51):
Did you sigh audibly? Nope? I just said have a
nice night, and they said huh. They said, what we
don't We already told you we don't speak English. She
managed to thank you, so she understood it something English.
But I knew that wasn't going to because they were
all speaking to each other in Spanish. So I was like,
I'm not gonna try and figure this out. Hmmm, Yeah

(16:12):
it was. It was just kind of weird, so weird
thing to do. And I was telling that to Todd Barrdy.
He's like, well, first of all, I would never go
into that hot I was like, what are you doing
in that hot tub?

Speaker 3 (16:23):
Yeah, but you're not going to a hot tub, no.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
No, a hotel pool.

Speaker 16 (16:27):
I got one really bad east infection on the road
when I first started going out on.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
The road because I was like, oh, a pool a
hot time.

Speaker 16 (16:34):
I used to use them all the time, And when
I first started going out, I got a real bad
use infection. Then doctor was like, yeah, you were in
a gross hotel hot Like, what did you think was
gonna happen?

Speaker 3 (16:42):
Chemicals in it?

Speaker 16 (16:43):
It doesn't matter, they're not cleaning it.

Speaker 4 (16:46):
It didn't look dirty. Something doesn't look dirty.

Speaker 3 (16:49):
But that's what I'm saying. But that's why I as
soon as I got out of there, I take a shower.

Speaker 16 (16:53):
I get weird even about going like outdoor hotel pools.
I'll usually do because they have to keep it Gla Cary.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
But Lake Erie is not.

Speaker 16 (17:02):
I've never had a problem in lake Erie.

Speaker 4 (17:05):
Lake Erie, though, is unequivocally gross.

Speaker 16 (17:07):
But I've never had anything happen to you never had
from swimming Lake Aria, swimming in Lake Erie. Maybe that's
just because I'm used to Lake Erie. But yeah, I don't.
I don't trust. Did you see people who work at
hotels they don't care.

Speaker 4 (17:22):
People who work at the hotels.

Speaker 16 (17:24):
I worked in a hotel, person is I don't feel
like cares if the hotel jacuzzi gets cleaned.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
I was very diligent at the as the front desk
manager at the Richmond Hotel in downtown Chicago.

Speaker 16 (17:35):
Thank you sure that the jacuzzi was cleaned every single time?

Speaker 3 (17:38):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah, I had to talk to the maintenance crew. I go, hey,
is that jacuzzi clean? And they go, they go, we
don't have a jacuzzie. I go, well done, keep it up.
How is a test? That's right? And I was on
honeymoon in Mexico. My husband and I are a loan
and a huge resort hot tub. A really hairy green

(18:00):
command and a speedo came and sat literally four inches
from me in a huge hot tub.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
Some people have no boundaries. Yeah, they just don't.

Speaker 1 (18:09):
I'm just looking for a good jet, especially in your situation,
it's no fun because those hotel hot tubs aren't huge.

Speaker 4 (18:16):
There's like maybe like a four person hot tub.

Speaker 3 (18:18):
No, this one is big.

Speaker 8 (18:19):
This one probably could fit like eight or ten people
in it. So it's not like they were like right
next to me, and they weren't rude or anything like that.
It just felt weird to be in there when they're
all in there. Yeah, so I was just like, I'm
gonna get out of here.

Speaker 1 (18:35):
Did Is there any chance that the woman felt a
kindred spirit because she sensed that you are grandma friendly.

Speaker 8 (18:44):
She knew No, I don't think. I don't think she
cared one a little bit about me. Okay, but this goes.
I did listen to a little bit of the show yesterday,
and it was when Mary was talking about how she
thought she got because she was so horny when she
got to her hotel in Indianapolis. And that's actually something

(19:06):
that I think you'll experience more as you increase the
step momming in your life. What do you mean because
you were horny for not having responsibilities?

Speaker 1 (19:22):
Oh? You think that's what it is?

Speaker 17 (19:24):
Said?

Speaker 16 (19:24):
I check into the hotel and I'm just like, Wow,
I don't have anything to do, and I just instantly get.

Speaker 8 (19:28):
Turned laws response kind of yeah, because this is how
I was for years, Like when I was like doing
the road every week for eight years, you know, like
you were looking forward to getting there because.

Speaker 4 (19:44):
There was no disturbance around so you can actually enjoy it.

Speaker 8 (19:46):
And you had just spent your first full day with
your boyfriend's daughter. So I think subconsciously you're like, even
though you can take care of yourself or do whatever
at home, this is like.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
You're so I'm so far removed you were still.

Speaker 3 (20:03):
And so you're like, yes, let's do this.

Speaker 16 (20:06):
Maybe I don't even think about that, but it was
only one day.

Speaker 4 (20:10):
Yeah, because at the first day is the like that's
and a recent development.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah yeah, but maybe not enough to really override your
sense of independence yet.

Speaker 4 (20:19):
That will get there. What we'll get there.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
The step, as Bill points out, the step momming, is
that gets more frequent you will It'll be directly proportional
to the amount of time that you have to spend
step momming directly proportional the amount of time that you
feel horny alone. For loneliness Horney for Solitude, Mary Santora's
new album I was a sandwich artist for one day,

(20:45):
one whole day. Whole day. Why one day? Because it.

Speaker 4 (20:51):
Sucks the work any fast.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
I don't want to make sandwiches for people. I am
a bite.

Speaker 8 (20:57):
I was a subway sandwich artists for about three four months.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
Yeah, I do you like making the sandwiches? I thought
it was fine. I don't like making sandwiches. For what
did you.

Speaker 4 (21:06):
Think subway was going to be when you hot hired there?

Speaker 1 (21:09):
They hired me as a cashier, but then they but
they all make the sandwiches and cashier. You can't just
pick one job. Well, I was. This was not a
traditional subway. This was a subway inside of a college dorm.
I should have specified that it's miserable working at.

Speaker 17 (21:25):
Any type of restaurant inside of a college dorm that
stays open until two in the morning, because I had
to make drunk people sandwiches, which is significantly worse than
making just anyone a sandwich. They're a pain in my ass,
lean on the glass, reaching over.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
Why did you get the light shift all the time?

Speaker 3 (21:47):
One day?

Speaker 17 (21:48):
I was new so I yeah, I had my very
first shift edward three year of the barrel. So you
did one light shift. Yep, and that's it, and you
said them out called it.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
I was like, hell, no, I'm never doing this again.

Speaker 17 (22:00):
In fact, I'm almost mad at myself that I.

Speaker 1 (22:02):
Stayed the whole night. Why I didn't just walk away
and go f.

Speaker 17 (22:06):
This so the second a drunk person puked on the window,
I should have just bolted.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
How did you tell your boss like I'm quitting?

Speaker 17 (22:15):
It was like this is terrible, I'm never working here again.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
You didn't even get a check, like they're not going
to pay it for it was like it paid you
for one day twenty dollars, like sixteen cents or something.
I guess, yeah, yeah, they had to pay me.

Speaker 17 (22:28):
Well, I think that was the only reason why I
stayed the full shift, because I was.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
Like, well, if I don't want to make that sweet
twenty bucks, yeah.

Speaker 17 (22:36):
I think I think there is some kind of law
in Illinois where like it's within the first I don't know.
They explained something to me you had to work so
many shifts and if you had to work a full shift,
otherwise you wouldn't get paid for the shift.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
Does that makes sense?

Speaker 18 (22:52):
No?

Speaker 17 (22:52):
Because I I loved Levi's on my break one time,
I just quit I just walked out on my break
and I never came back. I never got paid that day,
I think because I worked less than two hours or something.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
So you're not real big on the whole two weeks
notice thing. Then like you're like, yeah, I'm ghosting.

Speaker 17 (23:07):
Those were extreme circumstances. Normally I'm very professional about leaving
a job, starting a job, all that stuff. But the
subway thing, I can't even tell you the nightmares I
witnessed it just working one shift one night.

Speaker 3 (23:21):
All the stories you'd have if you would have stuck
with it.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
They're not They're not fun stories. It's not like a
good time. You wouldn't you wouldn't have been working the
there wasn't any camaraderie between you and the other leadership.

Speaker 17 (23:33):
If you's vomit on my very first shift, I'm like,
f this.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
Don't you do that when you start working in the
bar industry. I did that when I worked in bars,
but barbacks would do that.

Speaker 4 (23:44):
Yeah, I was a barack.

Speaker 1 (23:45):
I wasn't a bar back.

Speaker 17 (23:46):
As a bartender, I never cleaned up vomit as a bartender.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
I probably wouldn't teach it too. Bougie above cleaning up
vomit I'm not. I'm just I'm not gid.

Speaker 8 (23:57):
You can't listen to people would be talking about don't
you'll be able to clean it up?

Speaker 4 (24:01):
And I wouldn't say that.

Speaker 1 (24:02):
That's like the the you know, the litmus tests that
everybody should get pukes a gross thing.

Speaker 17 (24:07):
I just don't deal well with cleaning up other people's
bodily fluids.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
But I did do it.

Speaker 17 (24:11):
In high school, I had to work at the cold Stone.
I had to clean the bathrooms and stuff, and that
was gross. There's key on the floor and occasional duchie,
but you.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
Know, and then at the occasional dukie.

Speaker 17 (24:22):
And Levi's I left midshift because I already got another
I already had another job lined up, and they.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
Were I was gonna give my I was fully expecting
to put in my two weeks that day.

Speaker 17 (24:31):
They made you have like sales goals, even though you
don't make commission, but they were like on your ass
about making your goals because they make commission on whatever
you sell.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
The managers.

Speaker 17 (24:40):
And this one bitch manager was like on my ass
one day because I was like below my goals and
I'm like, you know what, I'm not even going to
give her the satisfaction of me coming back and giving
her a two weeks notice.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
I'm not going to do that.

Speaker 17 (24:52):
There were enough employees there, she would have been easily
been able to cover my shift.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
So I was just like, I'm done. I was just done.
Speaking of Doukie, it was twenty two years ago today
that Green Day released that album.

Speaker 3 (25:05):
Oh fun fact.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
Oh that's why I ticked my headphones off.

Speaker 3 (25:13):
You're ready after a call?

Speaker 1 (25:15):
Is that the girl that was barfing in the bathroom
last week? That are Oh that's where it gets back.
Listen to it, Ny, you're cheating? Yeah, he quit like
your subway job. Yeah, he's grace in his tube been there? Yeah,
but he's so judge of me. I'm so bougie.

Speaker 17 (25:36):
Are you above listening to a vomit call or a
vomit a clip?

Speaker 1 (25:40):
You're so boogie? You're above listening to a vomit clip
being played on the show? Yes, I am okay? Play along? Yeah? Hello?
Oh hey, who's that is that? Will Amina?

Speaker 3 (25:56):
I believe it is Hi. How are you.

Speaker 13 (26:00):
To a package?

Speaker 1 (26:00):
Pel I got the package that you sent me.

Speaker 13 (26:04):
I didn't want to load your cardboard en the notes.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
I got it right here.

Speaker 8 (26:08):
Actually, actually Here's what happened is I got home from
or I got back to the studio here after I
won the polar Blast battle on Friday, Erica.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
Do you remember that I won that?

Speaker 8 (26:18):
I won that recollection, and I was brought back here
and I had to go up to the office to
get a few things. And I stopped into the mailroom
to get some tickets for the motorcycle show that I
had in my mailbox. And I was pleasantly surprised to
see that I had a package from Wilhelmina Prefontaine.

Speaker 13 (26:37):
Well, I didn't know. You're gonna shame my phone name.

Speaker 1 (26:39):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (26:39):
I'm excited about like a little.

Speaker 13 (26:41):
Bit of description. Please, And you want someone in the media.
By the way, I saw you at the motorcycle show.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
Yes, it was fun there.

Speaker 19 (26:50):
I was hiding behind it ATVs I saw you. I
saw you taking pictures down one of those motorcycles.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
I will say Wilmina has pretty decent handwriting.

Speaker 13 (27:04):
I thought I sure would love to be one lord more.
All right, your leg.

Speaker 3 (27:09):
Bill, this is a pretty private item.

Speaker 8 (27:12):
Are you sure you want me to tell everybody what's
in here?

Speaker 13 (27:18):
We've already told him. O, My goddamn last name.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
That's all right.

Speaker 3 (27:22):
I just got excited.

Speaker 8 (27:23):
I got well because you've been so mysterious over all
these years to finally find out, okay, why.

Speaker 13 (27:28):
I didn't think i'd hear my name on the rail.

Speaker 3 (27:31):
Well, I won't say your address.

Speaker 13 (27:33):
God, I thank Bill.

Speaker 8 (27:35):
Although I did google it and could not find it
on Google Map, so you're pretty off the grid.

Speaker 13 (27:39):
Do you like my present?

Speaker 1 (27:41):
I do like your present.

Speaker 3 (27:42):
It is.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
Very forward, very sexy.

Speaker 8 (27:46):
So first, there's a letter that says to your Bill,
I just wanted to send you my regards for a
happy new Year. I feel a connection to you, and
that sense that this feeling is reciprocal too.

Speaker 20 (28:00):
I don't know that I've ever used that word before,
but you just brought it out of me.

Speaker 13 (28:05):
You inspire me.

Speaker 4 (28:07):
In an age where the written word has been.

Speaker 8 (28:10):
Supplanted by the devices, I felt that I needed to
write down my words, my word Bill. I feel like
we have a real future, and I would like to
make you Aposta lunch this Valentine's Day.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
I haven't closed a little.

Speaker 20 (28:28):
Tree view Aposta lunch.

Speaker 8 (28:34):
I haven't closed a little preview of what you can
expect to enjoy. Kind regards, Wilhelmina. And then inside of
this package everybody is a blue pair, all cotton.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
I do like them. I can smell, I exist. What
size are those these are?

Speaker 13 (29:05):
I don't tell every boy.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
It's a regular size. Nothing crazy. It looked like a
diaper from over here.

Speaker 13 (29:12):
It's a regular size for someone my size.

Speaker 3 (29:16):
There's a lot of stuff on them.

Speaker 13 (29:18):
We bell I did wear them for a month, showed
them by an.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
So they're they're nice and fresh for you.

Speaker 20 (29:25):
Yeah, showed you you would be able to remember me
and have a nice response when you.

Speaker 19 (29:30):
Think of me.

Speaker 8 (29:32):
And I am having a response right now, that's for sure.

Speaker 19 (29:37):
By the way, beer, I have to go here be First,
I just want to make sure that you got it.
And secondly, because I don't want to mislead you pasta lunch,
Possa lunches my underwear conn of smell side, what is

(30:01):
my dirty dirty.

Speaker 13 (30:06):
Had it on for a month. I wanted you.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
I wanted you. There was like a twinge of garlic,
so yeah, I can believe that.

Speaker 20 (30:16):
What could I didn't want you to be waiting around
for me to take you to lunch, you know, okay,
I want to make sure that you got the President
and I shouldainly hope that.

Speaker 13 (30:26):
You can find a use for them.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
All Right, well, I will write you back with my answer.

Speaker 3 (30:30):
All right, okay, you racket bit.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
The Allen Cox Show seven w MMS. The Allen Cox Show, A.

Speaker 13 (30:42):
Sore tooth in the mouth of broadcasting.

Speaker 15 (30:45):
Oh, The Allen Cox Show on one hundred point seven
w m MS.

Speaker 1 (31:10):
Man, this album's twenty years old now, the remission album
from Mastadon. I think they were used in March of
the fire Ants in the final days of Headbanger's ball
Over on MTV. Keep in mind The Weekend Cox happens
on Sunday mornings eight to ten. Bill and pound Cake

(31:33):
are your hosts. It's a two hours of the best
stuff from the week, all condensed. Well, we take the
week and then condense it into one hundred and twenty minutes.
And it also is its own podcast as well. So
if you're not up early on a Sunday like Bill
and Poundcake are as, they give of themselves of their

(31:56):
time and their talent to come in here and host.

Speaker 3 (32:01):
Do we gotta do? Now? We do what?

Speaker 4 (32:04):
I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
So that Sunday morning I was reading a story there
was in again this was just a you know, I
get a lot of these radio nerd emails and trade
magazines and things that now come in email form, and
I was reading a story about a guy in he's
been a disc jockey for seventy years. He's capping off

(32:29):
a seventy year career. In that time, he's become a
station owner, just a small group of stations in Massachusetts,
a guy by the name of Phil Drumheller, and he's
been doing his morning show.

Speaker 4 (32:46):
This guy gets up very very early.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
And does a show that airs on an AM and
an FM station in his area. Starts at seven o'clock
and people can hear it all throughout Massachusetts and Connecticut
and Vermont.

Speaker 3 (33:05):
And he's had a hell of a career. That's incredible.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
Yeah, And so his station, the reason he's kind of
signing off is he sold the station that he owns
to a bigger owner, so he's kind of cashing out,
and so it's kind of a regular this guy has
had a great career thing and blah blah blah. And
so I'm kind of reading this along the way. The
thing that jumped out at me though, you know, he goes, look,

(33:31):
I've been doing this for seventy years I started in
high school. I still get up at four am because
he's doing I'm doing a morning show, he said, So
I can't stay up late anything like that. He was
inducted into the Massachusetts Broadcasters Hall of Fame. You know
there's a there's a national Radio Hall of Fame that's

(33:51):
headquartered in Chicago where all your big names go in.

Speaker 4 (33:55):
But each state has their own.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
There's I'm sure there's an Ohio Broadcasters Hall of Fame,
and he was inducted into the one in Massachusetts. But
the thing that jumped out of me was it told
about how his wife died of breast cancer in two
thousand and six. So she's been gone for a minute,
and he said it was real tough, but she wanted

(34:20):
to be home in her final days, and so she
died peacefully overnight before his morning show. And he said,
and it was comforting to have his wife still upstairs
til he called an undertaker after his show.

Speaker 3 (34:37):
He was doing a morning show, morning show.

Speaker 1 (34:40):
We put the you and morning show. But imagine that,
I mean, maybe that's not weird, but your wife dies overnight.
This guy gets up, does the show. He's broadcasting in
his house from his house, so he always let her
know work comes first. You could be dead in the bed.
I still got a sh to do. But did he

(35:01):
go up in the breaks and what not check on her?
But like hold her hand or whatever you would do
if you a loved one was laying their dead.

Speaker 4 (35:12):
I don't think you need to go and do that.
I think that's weird.

Speaker 8 (35:16):
I mean, I think it's incredibly weird that he thought
this was like, I don't know, it's maybe he still
did the show that day. Maybe take that day off.
Stuff you got plenty to pull from. You've been doing
this for seventy years.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
Yeah, you can run a best of It's the best
of failed Drumheller. I didn't even know what he was doing.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (35:37):
I assume he was probably playing old tiny music.

Speaker 3 (35:39):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
I don't know what kind of music the show he
was doing. I don't know if he was doing a
talk show or Yeah, is owning a bunch of radio
Is there a lot of money in owning like a
bunch of radio stations? Yes, well, like what this guy owns. Yeah? Yeah,
Now radio stations don't go for what they used to
like thirty years ago, you'd have major market stations going
for eighty million dollars. But contrary to popular opinion or

(36:02):
what people think, radio still prints money. There is a
lot of money to be made in radio, in terrestrial radio.
So yeah, people who are station owners. And again he's
in western Massachusetts, so it's not like this guy's going
to cash out with you know, ten figures, but he
will get a good because it's being bought by a

(36:25):
big broadcasting company, a company called Saga Communications, and so yeah,
he cashes out.

Speaker 4 (36:33):
But I just that really jumped.

Speaker 1 (36:35):
I've me be reading the whole article on this guy
and like, Wow, what a great career and blah blah blah,
and you know he's not dead.

Speaker 4 (36:40):
He didn't suck ause he died. But he's like, it's
time to get out.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
I've been doing this a long time, and you know
he enjoyed doing it, and to be able to do
that your whole life essentially would be the way to go.
But he went downstairs after his wife died, did the show.
Like even while you're talking on your show and talking
to the audience, you know, in your brain, my dead
wife is in bed, and I've got to call the

(37:05):
undertaker and work from home is sweet though, right.

Speaker 3 (37:11):
In his basement.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Yeah, I like I refer to as an undertaker too,
because I feel like that's an old timey word, Like
you don't hear undertaker that.

Speaker 8 (37:20):
It just makes me think of the wrestlers is going
to show up and take his wife away. He's like,
all right, I got a couple of stops before I
go to WrestleMania. I gotta pick up this old lady.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
I called the w w E s undertaker, and he
came and whisked away my wife. So he said that
show for me was very therapeutic. Now did he go
on I Want Tapa that day? Did he go on
the air and tell the audience what was going on? Hey,
my beloved wife of however many years? What was his

(37:53):
name again?

Speaker 4 (37:54):
This guy's name is Phil Drumheller.

Speaker 3 (37:57):
And so for this guy to be like.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Missus, Drumheller is dead upstairs and I'm here with you chumps.

Speaker 3 (38:08):
But that was his choice.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
Hey, it's Phil Drumheller here playing there that you want
to hear.

Speaker 8 (38:19):
My wife just passed away, which is a bummer, but
you know what, you gotta keep on rocket.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
This was her favorite song, Let's Smoke out of the
water hitting the post with his dead wife helps dad.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
That's right.

Speaker 4 (38:34):
She loved it, so yeah, it doesn't. I wish it
gave more detail.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
As to what what he played or you know what's
he's so mad at you? Of course she's like, I
rode everybody?

Speaker 5 (38:50):
What on the board?

Speaker 1 (38:51):
Seven w the vest I'll tell you what. It's been
a long, long day and it's not even over. Just
started from me. I'm saying long day even though at
seven in the morning, because guess what, dead wife upstairs
not even a joke, how much inside you guys know
how I used to be on that improv troop. Dead
wife upstairs. That's not what I'm talking about. We're not reuniting.

(39:15):
I'm saying my wife is dead upstairs. Why am I here?
I see the phones are lighting up. They all want
to know why I'm here. Because my wife loved deep purple,
That's why. And now her skin's deep purple.

Speaker 6 (39:31):
So when the.

Speaker 1 (39:31):
Show's over, my wife and I, you know, she's going
off into the Great Beyond. She's gonna do a little
you know it, space trucking. My beloved wife. She could
not get enough deep purple. She loved them, she said
if I ever, if we made pacts with each other,

(39:54):
if I go before you, And thank god she went
before me, because if I died first, she was gonna
have to be down here figuring out the She'd never
be able to do it. She knows how much I
love Bill Haley in the comments, but my wife loved
deep purple.

Speaker 21 (40:08):
Well, here we go.

Speaker 4 (40:09):
Hey, I'm gonna go check on her.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
She's upstairs. She didn't get any colder. They say, what pound? Okay,
what anxiety did you feel that day when you got
the call that Gwynn was in labor because.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
We were leaving.

Speaker 4 (40:22):
I remember where we were.

Speaker 1 (40:24):
We were going in the middle of a snowstorm to
that cabin. Did you feel any anxiety at all? Well,
she went in labor. Yet she called me and said,
surfs up, so her water was broken.

Speaker 6 (40:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (40:33):
I'm just happy how the timing worked out, because.

Speaker 1 (40:35):
It was literally right after we got off air, and
because we didn't even know we were at the cabin
and Erica was like, oh my god, Gwen had the baby.
I said what, And then you posted a little picture.
I was like, Wow, that happened in a matter of
I mean, it didn't take a long time. A long
time to get to the cabin though. It took us
like maybe three hours, and then by that time we

(40:55):
had gotten settled in and Alan was like, Gwinn just
had the baby. It was like, wow, yeah, way in
a matter of like four or five hours she had
She well that no, not that quick. I mean we
got to the hospital, but I mean, you know, you
hear about people that are in labor for thirty six hours.

Speaker 4 (41:10):
Relative to that, it was pretty quick.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
I mean we got to the hospital probably around seven
and she had Nora like around five am.

Speaker 14 (41:20):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
Yeah, so it wasn't even twelve hours. And like her
epidural didn't take or something popped out or something. So
she did most of that work herself. She being birth
for or being labor for thirty six hours. A lot
of women like kid just doesn't come pull it out.
My mom was in labor with me for like over
like a day and a half and then they said, oh,
we got to do an emergency c second. So yeah,

(41:44):
they had to haul me out. Just laying there. I'm like, no,
laying there like my wife upstairs, Here we go. Maybe
I know you're up there, and not only up there
in heaven, you're upstairs on the second floor. I guess
I could finally play it as loud as I want.

Speaker 18 (41:59):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
I always complained about it be rocking too loud unless
it was deep purple.

Speaker 6 (42:04):
This one's for you.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
Never what they say. If it's too loud, you might
be dead. And there she is up there. I'm gonna
go check on her. And you know, she loved deep
purple because it matched her wig. So no, I didn't
really have any anxiety. I just wanted to get there
and scoop her up and get her to the hospital.
And she had to give some nurse the skunk guy

(42:27):
because she was a fan. Yeah he said that, I
got iye, and she's like, Nope, not right now. We're
not doing this right now. Didn't The nurse that did
end up being her birth nurse showed up to like
one of the bar crawls or something, and her and
Gwynn had like a moment. Didn't you say that? Oh yeah,

(42:50):
I forgot about that. Yeah, I think so. I think
it was like a Saint Patrick's Day barkrawl. And all
of a sudden you said, oh, gwyn Gwinn's got the
waterworks going. I said, huh, yeah, we were down at
dive bar and they were they were kibbitzing over. Yeah,
she had been in the room, I guess or something
and went over and introduced herself. Or it was a
guy and his wife and the wife was the nurse

(43:11):
or yeah.

Speaker 3 (43:11):
Something like that.

Speaker 4 (43:13):
But uh, yeah, it was pretty wild.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
I saw your vagina.

Speaker 4 (43:17):
Oh, everybody in that room saw her vagina. Yeah, that's
why I love you.

Speaker 13 (43:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:20):
If you've watched Seth Myer's hour on Netflix, which is
which Is, you never expected it to be as good
as it was. He talks about how his wife gave
birth on the floor of their lobby and their apartment,
and he's like, I had two separate reactions from two
of our door men after this. He goes, one of them, uh,

(43:42):
can't look me in the eye anymore because he knows
he saw my wife's vagina full on, and the other
one's kind of like, hey man, what's up?

Speaker 15 (43:47):
You know?

Speaker 1 (43:49):
But he goes because I think both of their kids
were born in circumstances where they think they have more time,
Like one of them was born in a cab and
the other one was born a lobby of their building,
or so, how does that happen? You can because you
can't always plan it. I mean, traffic in New York
is crazy, and nobody chooses to have a kid in
the middle of nowhere. But it's like, as he tells

(44:10):
the story, he's like, we're in the lobby and we're
thinking we're giving ourselves plenty of time because of what
happened with our first kid.

Speaker 4 (44:17):
And my wife looks at me, and.

Speaker 1 (44:18):
He goes and she was wearing sweatpants, and I look
down and her sweatpants looked as though, God, I forget
how he put it, I will screw it up. But
he's like, my wife basically said, the baby's coming out
right now, and she had to lie down on the
lobby and the of their apartment building. So you don't
want that because then you have paramedics coming, and you

(44:40):
know they obviously will take you to a hospital. But
so there was Yeah, there was nothing like that. And
you know, I mean got home a little bit to
mop up, and the hospital was ten minutes from our house,
so we forget that. You have some of the mop
up and you walk in and just have one of
those slips where the lake stays up.

Speaker 3 (45:01):
Yeah, hmm, Alan, My wife was in labor for seventy
two hours.

Speaker 8 (45:09):
Whoa, Yep, that's that's so much time. That's so that's
so like, think of doing anything for seventy two hours straight. Well,
and again, the misconception is that you're pushing the whole time.

Speaker 3 (45:26):
You're not doing that.

Speaker 4 (45:26):
There's just contractions and those can be you know.

Speaker 8 (45:29):
But it's it's it's still a long time to be
doing the whole time, even if it's like a mild
contraction is still happening every once in a while, Like
there's no comfort during all that. Right, you're probably not
falling asleep for seven in those seventy two hours, right, Oh,
that's miserable.

Speaker 19 (45:49):
You know.

Speaker 1 (45:49):
My wife is also a big way where live here
in Massachusetts. My wife also loved Aerosmith. She's something they're
dead in the sack anyway, there's back in the saddle.
She loved the Toxic Twins. Joe Perry, Steven Tyler.

Speaker 18 (46:15):
I love you.

Speaker 1 (46:19):
Well, and I accidentally have my baby in the bathroom
and my husband delivered it.

Speaker 3 (46:23):
Oh toilet baby, like on the gym stones.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
Next baby, I'm into the hospital with seven minutes to spare. Yeah,
I think there's some women where that baby just slides
a right out point. That's the exact opposite of the
labor for seventy two hours. Just put me to sleep
and let it be out when I wake up, because
I feel like I would pass out anyways. I don't
understand how women endure childbirth, like seems like the most

(46:51):
painful thing ever. Well, they trained their whole lives by
dealing with us. Helld upstairs, I do what everybody will
trump heller here. Well, yeah, I mean that's some people
believe it's divine intervention that men don't have babies. But
if men were genetically disposed to having babies, I imagine

(47:12):
we would probably handle it just as well as women do.

Speaker 3 (47:15):
Take that, lady, that was the design. You take that?

Speaker 1 (47:18):
Well, that's what I mean. Like, we're not so we're not. Yeah,
we don't know the helloweno, we know where we'd want
to eat, right, my wife's dead upstairs? This is where
my wife never knew where she want to eat either,
You got I asked her just last night. I'd say,
you want tacos, and she just said, I don't.

Speaker 3 (47:39):
Feel so good.

Speaker 1 (47:41):
Well, here we are now the Allen Cox Show on
one hundred seven. Hey give with the good taste what
the hell you doing here? It's the Allan Cox Show.

Speaker 15 (47:55):
On one hundred point seven WMMS.

Speaker 1 (47:57):
I'll tell you what. There's one song while I was
doing weddings that if it came on, I would have
to leave the room and gather myself because I could
not stand it. Freaking piano man. I hate piano man.

Speaker 22 (48:08):
Why.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
I don't know why. That song just does not rub
well with me. But like, justs not a song that
would that would make him happy piano man. But it's
something like overtly offensive, annoying. It's not it's not anywhere
in what he likes. He wants like something funny and loud,
and you would always be on like the too playlist.

(48:29):
I'm like, I don't want to play, Like, can we
get rid of that? They're like, well, they requested him,
could we get rid of it? You know they're they're
paying you right to do the wedding. They're paying for expertise.
You don't have any expertise. That's where you're wrong. You
just told them that you don't like the piano. You
don't like piano man. A lot of people like that song.
Who pressed the button?

Speaker 14 (48:48):
Huh?

Speaker 1 (48:49):
Who's paying you to press the button them.

Speaker 4 (48:52):
I mean they're they're paying you to DJ the wedding.

Speaker 1 (48:55):
If you say they're also paying me for my expertise,
you don't have any, so they're paying you to just
do the ones and two. And that's why I left
to go gather myself. I get sparkling water. Piano Man
in a Wedding would be a very popular song. Very popular.
It was always popular. That's not they always played it right.
I just I hated it. I hated it because I

(49:15):
love Everybody knows that song. Why don't you like love shack?
That's just a dumb fun song. Can I leave?

Speaker 3 (49:22):
Get water.

Speaker 23 (49:25):
Water?

Speaker 1 (49:27):
Put my water bottle? Talking to Davy, who's still in
the navy and probably will be for life. Although I
was a kid, I didn't realize because I was a
kid when this was out. My mom was a big
billie Joel fan. I didn't realize that bread was slang

(49:52):
for money. Yeah, hey give me some bread man. So
when I heard this song and he's like, they come
to the bar and put bread in my jar like tips, yeah,
I didn't understand that line. He thought he was like
a duck in a pond. I thought they were putting
bread in a jar, and I'm like, that's where the
money goes.

Speaker 4 (50:09):
Man, I'll do that. I thought it was some I
don't know what I thought it was.

Speaker 1 (50:13):
You're young taking slices of bread to the bar. Where's
the breadhoe man?

Speaker 3 (50:18):
Not the worst idea.

Speaker 1 (50:19):
No, you get drunk, some snack on mm hm and
it you know, so the alcohol, you don't get too drunk.
So this Irish pub has banned They've banned Sweet Caroline
because they don't want anybody touching hands, because there's all
kinds of mimicry that goes along with the song. You
got to act it out, you getta mine the song,
you got to touch people. So again, it's a stupid

(50:42):
thing to ban. But these bars they gotta they're trying
to figure something out. They're like, we're trying to be
open and make money but not have drunk people. I
don't see how you can do it. I don't know
how you could have a bar open under any kind
of circumstances that keeps people apart from each other while
they're drinking and having fun. If someone plays it, they

(51:06):
probably took it off.

Speaker 8 (51:07):
The the you they can take it out off like
because I know, like touch tunes. You can have certain
songs that you don't want to play at your bar
because like there's certain bars you'll go to and you'll
be like, oh, I want to play this, Like there's
a lot of hip hop songs at certain bars, Like
we don't want that kind of people in here, so
they take it off.

Speaker 3 (51:23):
I'm serious.

Speaker 1 (51:25):
No, I known, So you don't like love Shack or
piano those are two very different songs at every wedding.

Speaker 3 (51:34):
Yeah, yeah, that's right. So that's it.

Speaker 1 (51:38):
Yeah, when I would work weddings, that's what it was, always,
always be on the playlist. It's also like a gay anthem.
I would think that you at some point kind of
be into the song hop in my chrysler. You see,

(52:03):
they ever let you play Ohio players, so extra? What's
so extra? May love Shack song? Yeah, that's what it's
supposed too for us about rock Lobster. They'll let you
play that.

Speaker 4 (52:15):
I mean, I've never heard this. You don't know this song?

Speaker 7 (52:18):
No?

Speaker 1 (52:21):
Oh yeah, yeah say what Ohio players? Baby, they wouldn't
want you to play that at a wedding. I never did,
but completely post so, did you ever suggest the song
that the bridal party shot down? No, because a lot

(52:46):
of times the DJs will will they'll go, are there
any songs you don't want played at all? Like for
our wedding? Yeah, we had a big do not playlist. Yeah,
we have a conversation with them before we actually do
the wedding. So I always talk to like the right right,
But the DJ will suggest music too. Because you said
they're paying you for your quote expertise, what song would
you suggest to them? Poker Face by Lady Gaga. No,

(53:11):
marching in It's not necess everybody going, It's not necessarily
a song. It's more like a genre of music, like
from like Cocktail Hour. I know you guys probably want
like you know, light music, croners whatever. Uh And then
are they paying you in Dutch money?

Speaker 3 (53:29):
No, it's just all musicians they have chrome disease.

Speaker 1 (53:33):
And I say usually like after nine pm, I'm like,
that's when you know all the trap music. If you
guys want trap, we'll play trap. If you guys want
DM we'll play em. What wedding was like, definitely trapp
We want.

Speaker 5 (53:43):
A ton of.

Speaker 18 (53:45):
A lot?

Speaker 3 (53:46):
Are you kidding me?

Speaker 15 (53:47):
Like?

Speaker 1 (53:47):
What name a wedding song? I can't even put my mind.
Queen like I don't even know. Like some people want
to after nine pm, Like a lot of the older
people go home, and it's like usually a younger couple
and all their college friends, and they're like, I used
to listen to this in school, and they want the

(54:08):
trap music. I used to listen to my school, and
then I graduated last week and now I'm getting married.
I'm just gonna last. Some of them are in medical
school and they're like, oh, this is thank you so
much for playing all the trap music. It was a
way for us to let loose. They want all the Curson,
they want the Monte Williams. This is how we do it.
They want, uh you.

Speaker 16 (54:24):
Play that's wait wait, this is how we do it
as trap music.

Speaker 1 (54:26):
No it's not, but like more urban. I like how
we call them Montel Williams, Well, Montel Jordan's who you're
thinking of?

Speaker 4 (54:34):
It not the talk show host with multiple sclerosis.

Speaker 22 (54:39):
How we do it.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
I didn't play.

Speaker 4 (54:46):
Trying to sell you on just cashing out your annuity.

Speaker 1 (54:51):
I need cash. Now you play that song. I'm not
on the floor. I have and I need cash. Now
you see Bill out there? Anson word yeah, Mintail Jordan Williams.
It would be great if you just gave you were
djaying a wedding or you're the bride and groom or whatever.
We're like, we have very specific tastes. We want you

(55:14):
to play that structured settlement song. We want you to,
but you just give him like Jeopardy theme.

Speaker 3 (55:19):
I feel like taking tonight. Yeah, the Golden Girls theme song.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
That's right, here's a thumb drive with all of our
music already on it, and it's gonna blow the place. Uh,
gonna blow the place away, just crazy frog on repeat. Yeah,
and then the hands we go right in the hand
when we that's for when she walks down the aisle
when we're cutting the cake. We're gonna want that structured
settlement song. I did get offered. I did get asked

(55:44):
one time to play the baby Shark song. Do you
know you guys know what that is? Yes, baby Shark?

Speaker 4 (55:49):
Yes, everyone knows the Baby Shark.

Speaker 24 (55:51):
I didn't know.

Speaker 1 (55:51):
I didn't know what it was. I was like, uh,
I'll see if.

Speaker 13 (55:55):
We have that.

Speaker 1 (55:56):
That sounds like a troll. No, like she knew that
her husband had did it or something. Well, I'm guessing
once I heard it, I was like, oh, well, if
they want to dance this fine like and I put
it on place went wild. Moms got to the dance floor,
everybody started chugging.

Speaker 3 (56:11):
I'm like, okay, you talk about trap music.

Speaker 16 (56:13):
There is a there's remixes to the baby Shark song,
and then I like beat some stuff behind.

Speaker 1 (56:17):
My little one year old niece dances time. I never
heard it before, and I was like, why are we
playing like toddler music? But everyone loved it because drunks
are the same. I'm gonna play the Wickeds next, the
Wiggles salad, yummy yummy.

Speaker 3 (56:34):
No we had like we had no uh, no kind
of Joe, no chicken dance, that kind of crap.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
No line dances at all. Are just those specific ones.

Speaker 3 (56:44):
I don't think there was any line dances the wobble
Bill was there, No, nothing like that.

Speaker 2 (56:48):
It was.

Speaker 19 (56:50):
No, no, no.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
We wanted at roll.

Speaker 13 (56:56):
I don't know that.

Speaker 1 (56:57):
I don't think we we eighty six the Tutsie role.
But we had the people that we hired knew what
they were doing. They weren't going to be playing Oh
my god, I forgot about that.

Speaker 13 (57:06):
You start.

Speaker 4 (57:11):
All those we weren't doing that at the wedding.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
And you see, nobody needed to see my booty bomb.
You didn't Superman that you didn't crank that m Alan.

Speaker 3 (57:22):
It wasn't really that kind of vibe.

Speaker 1 (57:24):
No, it wasn't. We didn't have a Superman that hoe vibe.
That wasn't the theme of our wedding. My wedding is
going to be awesome, Superman. That ho What are you
walking down the aisle to Cody? Oh, Beauty and the Beast? Well,
act no, Sam Smith. The writing's on the wall. And
then I dance to Beauty and the Beast as our
first day. So it's not going to be awesome, is
what you're saying. It is going to be awesome, or
it's not going to be awesome. It's gonna be awesome.

(57:45):
There'll be no piano man. We know that there'll be
no piano man or love Shack. You're probably not gonna
want to come, Allan because it's gonna be nothing but
Whitney Houston at the reception. Oh, I don't want to
come for reasons that far surpassed the musical choice. You're
not invited, Thank you very much.

Speaker 4 (57:57):
You're doing me a favor by not inviting.

Speaker 18 (58:00):
I already know you're a winning.

Speaker 5 (58:04):
I'm not coming down, there'll beg you for nothing. All right,
I'm not coming down. There'll beg you for nothing. You
gotta read secontain my rooster.

Speaker 18 (58:19):
Paul to the port. I'm braking and Rod's physician John
Dever You know who John never was John duds and dover. Yeah,
John Devero cold or something.

Speaker 3 (58:44):
Uh, it's Tom Hamilton.

Speaker 13 (58:46):
He was flying.

Speaker 18 (58:49):
With your airplane over the Organs. He was a thrill singer.
He wanted to pay the Russians. Say the Russian go
for a ride.

Speaker 3 (59:06):
Do you get a name for this guy?

Speaker 1 (59:08):
Your mama, I.

Speaker 18 (59:10):
Saw you rocket. He was a thrill seeker. He crested
expermal plane into the order. I say you're a wigging boy.
I say you're a Wigan boy.

Speaker 5 (59:26):
You got a problem with me.

Speaker 18 (59:28):
I'm gonta best your hand with a baseball.

Speaker 3 (59:31):
Bet that's a threat.

Speaker 19 (59:32):
Bro.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
Oh come on?

Speaker 15 (59:35):
That was.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
Yeah much an old country ball with me came. I
think I had Trevisano on in the back and that
tracks based on what that guy was throwing out there.
Little simple final last day, But did they no harm?
And raising a family. You're working on the park. He's
just going there's nothing dear that we're talking about then
you being a Wii but at the old middle sunstid

(01:00:00):
nothing butterfly. Really, he's got thoughts and he needs to
share them, and the words solid on the sunset. It
was John Denver when he died, probably forty something.

Speaker 4 (01:00:12):
Dam it's like twenty five years ago.

Speaker 5 (01:00:13):
I don't question.

Speaker 16 (01:00:15):
Do we think that your mom dials our number every time,
every number deep dial?

Speaker 1 (01:00:24):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
I think he just go through the rolodecks.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
He's got to be saved somewhere.

Speaker 4 (01:00:28):
He was fifty three when he died.

Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
The kid.

Speaker 8 (01:00:32):
It's one of those things where like when I hear
that as a kid, I'm like, oh, that's pretty old.
But then with a little, you know, time under my belt,
I'm like, oh, that's actually really really young.

Speaker 18 (01:00:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
October twelfth, nineteen ninety seven. He was a real good pilot,
but he had some like plane that was a kit
or something and experimental plane. This guy was talking about
multiple blunt force trauma resulting from the crash was the
cause of death. So but before you know, he is
always getting pinched for DUIs in cars, so maybe he thought, well,

(01:01:03):
maybe if I get off the ground, nobody will hassle me.
No sky do you no sky DUI it's a nephew.

Speaker 3 (01:01:10):
I guy, I'm a crunching boy.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
Son's coming up. Are you guys too young to have
enjoyed the movie? Oh God, yes, Okay, Sam and George Barns, Yeah, Guy,
New Devil.

Speaker 8 (01:01:31):
Was the I always saw an advertised but never actually
watched it because they'd played it on I feel like
they play that as like the Saturday movie Every goddamn week.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
Guy has a kid.

Speaker 3 (01:01:40):
I love that movie.

Speaker 1 (01:01:42):
Your name was Henry John Duchendorf Junior, so you can
understand why he started going by John Denver Nicholas was
signed A Good Want Me Young, How to Work By
sold thirty three million albums. We had thirty three I

(01:02:03):
Want Golden platinum albums. He goes, why is nobody buying
my albums? I'm one of the best selling artists on
the planet, and then one day he got a call
and go, hey, he just sold thirty three million, thirty
three million units. But he was an environmentalist. He protested

(01:02:26):
censorship and music to Congress. He lived in Aspend most
of his life. He was he was from Roswell, New Mexico.
But he I mean, this song is rife with the
sea words. So I can understand that, Bill, you son
of a bitch? How dare you besmirch the name of
Henry John Deutschen North juniort is that? No, that's bogo

(01:02:50):
Doofenschmertz or something. Who's the guy helping with the belch?
Montague is helping today? Montague? I'm sorry. Yeah, you got
me all jammed up now. So yeah, John Denver he
was named the poet Laureate of the state of Colorado,
and Rocky Mountain High is one of its two state songs.

(01:03:11):
That's about Colorado. You thought it was about Sylvester Stallone,
didn't you. I understand that getting all whacked up. But
you punched that cigarettes. You punched that much beef that's
gonna happen. You thought it was about Philadelphia.

Speaker 3 (01:03:29):
This weekend?

Speaker 6 (01:03:31):
Mary?

Speaker 1 (01:03:31):
Did you get what he said he was punching beef
this weekend? I think he means sexual intercourse the cow
down there at the cornfield. Did you get in a
fight with a cow at the cornfield? Did the cow
have to pull you out of the corn in the maze?

Speaker 3 (01:03:44):
No, you didn't get the cow all right.

Speaker 1 (01:03:48):
Her name was Lisa. I had a woman with his
dog not wearing a mask.

Speaker 2 (01:03:55):
Ba.

Speaker 3 (01:03:56):
That's right.

Speaker 4 (01:03:57):
You run into a pound cake code out there.

Speaker 24 (01:03:58):
BA.

Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
Damn, that was pretty good.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
Yeah, he's so proud of himself. It's something I need
to do something right.

Speaker 4 (01:04:07):
He hurt his horse, didn't you know?

Speaker 13 (01:04:08):
I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
Who got his legit? Hey?

Speaker 18 (01:04:12):
John?

Speaker 6 (01:04:13):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:04:14):
Hi John?

Speaker 6 (01:04:16):
You know I'm ninety eight point five percent positive. I
know who that guy is. I called the after hours line.

Speaker 4 (01:04:23):
Okay, what guy? But that wasn't an after that was
a live call.

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
That was a live call.

Speaker 6 (01:04:30):
Oh, I'm one hundred percent positive.

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
All right, So you.

Speaker 6 (01:04:44):
I've died here because I know who it is. Okay,
I uh, you know he drinks and that's it.

Speaker 4 (01:04:51):
You don't say, come on. He sound like a teetotaler
to me.

Speaker 6 (01:04:57):
I know, but you know he's he's actually a good guy.
And I drink and I've been drinking.

Speaker 1 (01:05:01):
But I'll tell you I'll tell you what, John, he's
a good drunk because when he calls, I have my
finger over the dump button and he's never made me
use it once.

Speaker 6 (01:05:11):
So now I'm definitely one hundred percent sure.

Speaker 1 (01:05:14):
So he's a professional. Yesterday, he's a professional drunk. He's
on the phone again. Why what what did you possibly
not say the first time that you have to get
off your chest? Now you made such an amazing point
the first time. I thought we were one and done.

Speaker 18 (01:05:31):
That makes you feel better?

Speaker 4 (01:05:33):
Are you really forty five?

Speaker 18 (01:05:37):
I'm almost sixty.

Speaker 4 (01:05:38):
That sounds right. Your friend is a drunk. Your friend
doesn't know how.

Speaker 18 (01:05:41):
He got cancer around places already.

Speaker 4 (01:05:45):
Well, that's not good, that's awful. Maybe stop drinking.

Speaker 18 (01:05:49):
Oh stop?

Speaker 4 (01:05:52):
What are you listening to when you call me? What
do you have on in the background?

Speaker 1 (01:05:54):
Now?

Speaker 19 (01:05:55):
Why you.

Speaker 1 (01:05:57):
You called me? You called me?

Speaker 4 (01:06:00):
What do you listen to when you talk to me?

Speaker 18 (01:06:02):
What do I listen to?

Speaker 4 (01:06:03):
You have something on in the background that is not me?

Speaker 3 (01:06:06):
So why do you call me?

Speaker 18 (01:06:08):
You?

Speaker 4 (01:06:10):
You know, it never occurred to me that he didn't
realize it wasn't me.

Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
Oh that was he got me.

Speaker 18 (01:06:17):
He got me.

Speaker 1 (01:06:18):
That's right. I'm sorry. Go ahead, I'm sorry, go ahead.
Oh yeah, okay, yeah, okay.

Speaker 18 (01:06:31):
Yeah, okay, barmber go for cool cool in the days
of black and White.

Speaker 1 (01:06:39):
And Ernie Anderson, Yeah, of course, Ernie Anderson, the love Boat.
Yeah what what?

Speaker 18 (01:06:49):
Hey?

Speaker 13 (01:06:49):
So?

Speaker 1 (01:06:51):
So what is your when you call me?

Speaker 4 (01:06:52):
What is your name?

Speaker 18 (01:06:54):
I'm not telling you that's common boy.

Speaker 1 (01:06:58):
Well, he doesn't want me to track it, Bill, he
doesn't want me to send up those government spice satellites
and track I understand, I understand.

Speaker 18 (01:07:05):
Okay, let me tell you to joke from the days
of Ernie Anderson Glardi. Okay, So these poor paulote we're
walking through the wood, stroll through the wood with bottles
of beer.

Speaker 5 (01:07:22):
In ann.

Speaker 18 (01:07:24):
And the one polo turned to the other poloze and
he says, Stanoswaud he sees a guy a bird flying over.
He said, look, a dead bird. And the other polot said, wow,

(01:07:45):
if that was a dead bird, that would probably be
on the ground, wouldn't.

Speaker 22 (01:07:50):
It all right?

Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
It's your future there you go, probably your future husband.
You stop drinking The Alan cock Show.

Speaker 21 (01:08:10):
If we now returned to something barely worth your time,
already in progress.

Speaker 1 (01:08:15):
The whole thing is pointless.

Speaker 3 (01:08:17):
The Alan cock Show on one hundred point seven mms.

Speaker 1 (01:08:22):
Tom Papa used to open for kill Switch Engage. A
lot of people don't know about That brings you back,
doesn't it. I like to say we co headlined flip
back and forth. Sometimes they'd opened for you. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 (01:08:35):
It was a rowdy crowd at a Tom Papa show.

Speaker 25 (01:08:37):
A lot of I felt bad to the guys because
they'd come out to play and they would just get
hit with water bottles until I came out.

Speaker 1 (01:08:43):
Yeah, we follow that.

Speaker 4 (01:08:45):
Welcome back, Good to see you, Good to see you too.

Speaker 3 (01:08:47):
Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1 (01:08:48):
How are you. I'm doing well, busy, busy. You have
got a lot of plate spinning, my friend. I do,
I do. I'm thinking about throwing them all into the garbage,
just giving it all up. Yeah, already he made some money, right,
Just let me tell jokes. Ye be alone. I'm working hard.

(01:09:10):
I'm hustling. We were talking yesterday that you were going
to be on and I was kind of thinking, you know,
you've you've talked about how it can be a challenge
and also a relief to be away from home for
some time, you know, the life of a comic. But
then you're doing the Baked show on Food Network. Yeah,
you're doing the NPR show, yeah, which I don't know
how often. I mean, obviously you're on the road for
the cooking show. Yeah, and the NPR show wants me

(01:09:33):
there as often as I can. Where I had the book,
the book came out, so I had this book tour
at the same time as all that. This was all
by the way the beginning of the year when I
was like, you know, I think I'm going to tour
like a rock band and just like pick my moments
and just go out for a couple of months and
be around for the kids a little bit. You know,
they're they're going to be leaving the home in a while,

(01:09:54):
a couple of years. I'm going to dial back the
road a little bit. And then the tsunami hit. Of
all those projects, and I've been gone since April, right April. Yeah,
it's been really heavy since April. There's a lot of
face timing. How does that work with the family?

Speaker 3 (01:10:07):
Was curious?

Speaker 1 (01:10:08):
Uh No, I do it, old timy. I just write
like a letter on yellowed paper and send it in
the post. Do you have a feathered quill that? Yeah,
my dearest Clara and whatever your daughter's name is, exactly,
And I just give it to a gentleman down at
the train station and hope it arrives and with the
two mail boy yeah you pigeon, Yeah, And then they

(01:10:30):
send me a response and it catches me eventually in
some hotel. It keeps being forwarded and he's grown.

Speaker 25 (01:10:40):
Now he's grown, and uh, you know, yeah, it's been
so after this weekend, I'll be home for Thanksgiving for
like two weeks, which is like kind of a finish
line of sorts.

Speaker 4 (01:10:52):
Do you do New Year's Eve somewhere? Is that a
big gig for you?

Speaker 1 (01:10:55):
No, you know, since the beginning of my career. Unless
it's a real sweet gig, we celebrate New Year's with
the family, Okay, and I don't have a real sweet
gig this year. One of the single dudes like Mar
and Spade will do Hawaii every year.

Speaker 6 (01:11:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:11:10):
You You and Mar went to the same high school.

Speaker 1 (01:11:12):
Yes, we did ye Gasket Hills High School and no
Cowboys Jersey, No Cowboys the team. And I met Mar
and he came. I don't know if I met him
at like a dinner.

Speaker 25 (01:11:25):
I think he was in Vegas when I was working
with Seinfeld and I was all excited because is that
Jerry Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:11:32):
Okay, Seinfeld was for a while. Yeah, and he I
was all excited to meet Mar and I was like,
you know, one of those moments. We went to the
same high school. He took the same bust into New York.
I get guy. He was like great, so Jerry, but

(01:11:55):
he was about ten years ahead of you too. Yeah,
at least at least he's really old. He's very old. Yeah,
north of sixty. Yeah, it is weird to see those
guys get you know, I mean, I'm forty seven. Yeah,
so it's weird to see the guys that are your
pop culture contemporaries. Yeah, they're like, I'm sixty now, I know.

Speaker 25 (01:12:15):
Like, it's so strange when you watch the news, especially
because the news is for old people. So I've heard
you see like all these people who you liked, like
what's your name from Halloween? Jimmy Curtis like doing like
a bone density ad and Sally Field talking about the
gut the hanger.

Speaker 1 (01:12:34):
Pants right, Like, wait, these were I used to think
they were beautiful.

Speaker 3 (01:12:38):
Yeah, yogurt.

Speaker 8 (01:12:40):
They're still beautiful while they're hawking, they're poop yogurt. Jimmily
Curtis looks good for it looks great. But that's all
you always had that qualifier for Verge. Yeah for Age, No,
it's not really good.

Speaker 1 (01:12:51):
So what product as Tom Papa gets older or approaches
that part of his life, what product do you look
forward to hawking?

Speaker 4 (01:12:59):
I think it would be outlcohol. No commercial Yeah for alcohol?

Speaker 18 (01:13:11):
You hurt?

Speaker 1 (01:13:12):
Do you have trouble staying awake in public settings? Alcohol
around people you don't want to be around? Alcohol? Are
you tired of pretending that all this is fun alcohol?
I'm Tom Papa. We're alcohol. So the kids are almost
they're teenagers. They are teenager, we're almost out of the house. Yeah.

(01:13:32):
I have a junior in high school.

Speaker 25 (01:13:34):
Okay, So she's yeah, starting to get mail from coniversities
and she's going to be packing up her stuff in
a couple of years, which is such a strange concept
because I bought this house and live in this town
not for me, but for them. I didn't want any
of them. They're leaving and then they're going to leave,
and I'm gonna be sitting there with my wife and
the dog, Like, what do we do now? I'm thinking

(01:13:57):
we just dynamite pack of backpack, dynamite the whole place,
knock it down, and go back to living like we
did when we first started dating. So very progressive to
have a female junior. That's you know, there's not a
lot of people that will do that. Tom Papa Jr.
To Tom Asina. Yeah, gorgeous and beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:14:18):
Yeah, but you know what I mean, it's like we
did that project with those people, but I guess you
wanted a place for them to come home and visit.
How about you, guys, Then you'll sell the house, get
one of those like no, you get like a you
get like one of those one story glorified storage unit
pads on Venice Beach. Yeah, and that's where you live,

(01:14:39):
and that's where you live and you don't over by
Dukeveny and uh yeah, let the kids go. I mean
the one part is like now, like Thanksgiving, the kids
come home and they're just gonna come sit in your
storage shed. They probably won't come home as off roll
that I'm home.

Speaker 3 (01:14:57):
Happy Thanksgiving?

Speaker 1 (01:14:59):
Want some alcohol?

Speaker 22 (01:15:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:15:01):
They careful that oil lamp. Don't take that over The
company dropped off a bunch. We get it free.

Speaker 18 (01:15:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:15:07):
Are you Are you checking in on the fire situation?

Speaker 1 (01:15:09):
Yeah? My wife I was.

Speaker 25 (01:15:11):
When I said hello to you off off air, that
was my wife calling because yeah, we're on fire.

Speaker 1 (01:15:17):
Are you in Mali? Are you near Moultourne, Well, we're
near Calabasas. Yeah, and those things are not far. I
mean it seems far.

Speaker 25 (01:15:24):
Like during the day I was just in Malibu this,
you know, a couple of days ago, and uh, they're close.
Like with traps fires, I do a far way away,
but there we're getting ash at our house.

Speaker 5 (01:15:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:15:37):
Yeah, the fire doesn't get caught in traffic.

Speaker 25 (01:15:39):
So no, I say in my act now that my
kids run out on the lawn and catch ashes, like
their snowflakes.

Speaker 1 (01:15:46):
On their tongue is coming, Yeah, throwing snowballs at each other. Yeah,
but it's really legit, like, yeah, we're on fire a
lot and have about that whole town in northern California, Paradise. Yeah. Gone.

Speaker 18 (01:16:00):
Well.

Speaker 1 (01:16:01):
At the top of the show today, I was saying
that I was really texting a handful of friends of
mine who live out there. A friend of mine in
Thousand Oaks who evacuated, friend of mine in Glendale, which
is not that far from Calabasa. Yeah, and he's like,
we're okay, but there's a fire at the zoo now,
Like we have friends that live in Burbank, and it's like,
it's crazy. I know, it's insane. It really is. It

(01:16:22):
really is.

Speaker 25 (01:16:23):
It's like I've said, I've been saying for ten years,
like la is the future of global warming? Like when
you are just driving around, you see people that they
look like lizards, like they've been in the sun too long,
and their skin is crackly, and and everything's just feels
very crisp, and even the city to go off at
any moment.

Speaker 1 (01:16:43):
It's like a tinderbox. It feels like that. It's like
a for a long time. It's like everyone's living in
a Dwayne Johnson movie. Now, you know, yeah, going to
fall over.

Speaker 3 (01:16:53):
It's no joke. So yeah, it's scary.

Speaker 1 (01:16:56):
Fortunately, land is real cheap in Detroit, I know, in
Cleveland to become the new twenty first century hubs of commerce.
Retire in Cleveland. Yeah you know, yeah, get your snow boots.
You get a lot more than a storage unit here. Yeah,
you do, all right here a lot You.

Speaker 23 (01:17:12):
Could buy the lake if you move here. There's still
a lot of construction downtown. Well they're fixing. We have
to take everything down because we lost Lebron so we
got to back then. Is that effect it's a lot,
it's a vibe. Well, because I mean you all the
Cavs games were sold out last year and now they
are not not as much as when he left the

(01:17:34):
first time. Yeah, that was more of like an economic
and mental blow.

Speaker 1 (01:17:38):
I think this time though, in that there's more more
stuff happening here where they're like, yeah, cool, we had them,
he did it.

Speaker 25 (01:17:43):
He's okay, yeah, yeah, you know that's good. Yeah, because
you don't have I mean, your baseball team's doing great,
and your football teams are not as bad as the
New York Giants, but they're pretty bad.

Speaker 8 (01:17:53):
They're pretty bad. But we're used to that, and they
want to they want to. We're two hundred percent better
than we were at giants have won they have one game. Yeah,
they've only won one game, and so one game.

Speaker 1 (01:18:04):
Yeah, it's pretty bad.

Speaker 23 (01:18:06):
Yeah, we're not used to being not the worst record
in the league. I know there's still time.

Speaker 1 (01:18:11):
It was like the Super Bowl. We won the Super Bowl.

Speaker 17 (01:18:14):
The first win we had it was streak I know, hundred,
So there are tens of thousands of people celebrating everywhere.

Speaker 8 (01:18:21):
I didn't know that we had a beer fridge here,
one of those victory fridges, And then I saw some
people drinking beers here, and I was just like, I
want one of those. So I was at home watching
it in like a pair of basketball short time. I'm
going down there and I'm geting one of those victory
beers because it's been a while.

Speaker 1 (01:18:39):
Yeah, you earned it.

Speaker 4 (01:18:40):
Yeah, well, more power to you. It is nice to
be back.

Speaker 1 (01:18:44):
I'd like this.

Speaker 25 (01:18:45):
You know, it's eighty degrees. I mean the reason we're
on fire, it's eighty degrees. It was nice to pack
my pea coat and hat and come to the land
of snow.

Speaker 22 (01:18:53):
Sure.

Speaker 25 (01:18:53):
Yeah, you get to use them every so often when
you come to Cleveland. People see me like walking out
to get in the car in the morning, like, where
are you going? You're carrying this coat like a like
an army buddy and your bat. If I don't make
it back send for my dinners.

Speaker 17 (01:19:07):
Well, it's good for you too, and any comics that
come by, because you're not gonna have to compete with Oh,
there's a Cavs game tonight Lebron's yeah, and everything for us.

Speaker 1 (01:19:15):
Can't come to the comedy show now, everyone's like, where
do we go?

Speaker 19 (01:19:18):
Now?

Speaker 17 (01:19:18):
What do we do?

Speaker 1 (01:19:19):
That's true, it's good for business. Yeah. I was really
legitimately scouring the Food Network schedule for Baked Yes, are
you in between seasons?

Speaker 3 (01:19:30):
How is that laying out?

Speaker 1 (01:19:31):
They've got video of the Cleveland visit up there. Yeah,
oh that's good. The parogi pocket. Yeah, you enjoy doing it?
I mean, is it you have one season under your belt?
One season under a belt waiting here? We're going to
make another season? Okay, Oh so that's still kind of
up in the air.

Speaker 15 (01:19:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:19:46):
Now how do they do they just look at ratings
or do they have some kind of other metrics on
like how popular bread is in general? I don't know.
I don't know how. Yeah, we served one hundred people
about bread, right. We got one tweet from a guy
who says he's gluten intoleran. So we're not going to
make anymore, that's right.

Speaker 3 (01:20:02):
I don't know. I have no idea.

Speaker 1 (01:20:03):
How would you like to make another won or?

Speaker 13 (01:20:05):
Did it?

Speaker 1 (01:20:05):
Was it more than you thought it would be? It was,
I like being a part of it being you know,
it's it's a lot of work. Like I said, it's
a road show's traveling. Ask another thing I've got to
you know, pack my bag for But I do you know,
it was a goof. It really was just me baking
bread at home. I wasn't trying to get a food network, sure,
I was just this became an obsession and a hobby

(01:20:27):
of mine and it just caught on on social media.
And it also shows how niche television programming has become
on food channels. Yeah, because there used to be one
food channel. Food Network might have been the first one
food network, and now there are a couple of them. Yeah, cooking.

Speaker 4 (01:20:43):
They all got to come up kind of shows.

Speaker 1 (01:20:45):
Yeah, yeah, they all they all got to come up
with more and more kind of esoteric program Yeah. But
I have to say, it's a cool thing to be
a part of, like this world all of a sudden,
Like it's nice that people are really enthusiastic about it
and telling me that I've been fire them to bake
bread and they're sending me the pictures and showing up
of my shows with stuff, and it really is kind
of like this fun, very organic, cool thing as opposed

(01:21:09):
to like, you know, auditioning for something or really trying
to develop a show and really trying to get on television.
This one just kind of I was just letting it happen.

Speaker 4 (01:21:18):
I liked you on the nick. I was bummed at
that one away.

Speaker 1 (01:21:20):
Yeah me too. You know, great, you know the next
the next chapter of that show is supposed to be,
is that you moved twenty years ahead with that hospital.

Speaker 4 (01:21:31):
Okay, right, so like the building stations, it was already
turn of the century.

Speaker 25 (01:21:34):
Yeah, and then it goes it's supposed to go through
time every twenty years, and that new cast of characters
kind of a thing that would be neat, I know,
but I don't know what happened. I guess they don't
have another idea, or maybe I'm not sure.

Speaker 3 (01:21:47):
That show is great.

Speaker 1 (01:21:48):
Well, because for a while they said, well, we're just
going to keep doing it without Soderberg, like there was
somebody else that would do it, but everybody else kind
of went off and did other things, right, And I thought, well,
maybe if Tom Poppett is the.

Speaker 4 (01:21:58):
Last one standing, yeah, just be sell an X ray.

Speaker 1 (01:22:02):
You were the X ray salesman. Yeah, it'll be following
an X ray salesman, turn of the century. That would
be a good show, why not?

Speaker 19 (01:22:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 25 (01:22:10):
I think that was my line, Like I set some
guy up for an X ray, and I'm like doing
the whole machine, and I'm like, I have him stand
there with a like a metal plate in front of him,
hold that up to your face, and now I'd come
over here and dial this in. Okay, great, I'm gonna
turn it on, and it turns on and all right, good,
now just stand there for an hour.

Speaker 4 (01:22:28):
Yeah, I believed you when you were X raying that
guy I just went for.

Speaker 25 (01:22:33):
I was just the dentist. I finally broke up with
my old dentist, which was just that's a tough move.
It's a tough move, like a stylist or a barber. Yeah,
it took a long time.

Speaker 1 (01:22:43):
I felt, you know, I felt like there's a connection
that was like an abusive relationship, and I couldn't I
still couldn't end it. And I finally broke away and
went to a new one. But I had to get
all new X rays done, and uh, they're really Yeah,
it's miserable and that you're it's not a pleasant thing.
And I still and bumped by how freaked out they
are that the machine is on, you know what I mean. Yeah,

(01:23:07):
they're hiding, they're out, they're out in the hallway. You're
exposed to it. Yeah, you've got this big awful blanket
on you and just pop popping things off on your skull.

Speaker 3 (01:23:16):
And it's technology that doesn't seem to have advanced in
thirty years.

Speaker 1 (01:23:20):
I'm sure that it has. I don't know how it works,
but it seems like they're doing the same thing now
that they did when I was a kid. All of dentistry. Yeah,
they still those horrible tools. They're still just knocking into
your job. It's you've got to come up with some
other style. Yeah, a little bit softer version of it, Yeah,
not so pointy. I wanted to ask you this, going

(01:23:40):
back to the bake Goods. Did you try some of
Erica's Keto cookies? I did, And what'd you think? They're disgusting?
I know, and they're kind yes, that's kind of the
that's they made me mad because they look like cookies,
they smell like they might be cookies. They're not cookies.
We had someone from the back office who asked to
remain anonymous, who had to tell me something to walk

(01:24:03):
by and grabbed one and took a bite and they
go what is this? And I go Keto cookies are like, oh, yeah,
well it's I They go what is that? And I go,
it's a diet thing. I've been trying out all of
my Keto.

Speaker 17 (01:24:16):
I have gone keto for the last few months for
health reasons, and I keep trying to convince myself that
like the things that I'm baking.

Speaker 1 (01:24:24):
Are just as good as the original.

Speaker 15 (01:24:26):
You know.

Speaker 17 (01:24:27):
I also haven't had a real cookie in two months,
so like, to me, this is like your radar is
all off. But I will say the cheesecake thing I
made Bill, I think that's probably the best thing I make,
because I really don't think you can tell the difference cheese.
I think it's one of those things you can kind of.

Speaker 1 (01:24:44):
Like because you can't use cheese right.

Speaker 13 (01:24:46):
Like you can?

Speaker 17 (01:24:47):
Yes, yes, So I mean ingredients are there?

Speaker 1 (01:24:51):
No sugar? Yeah, it's all swerve that call. It's like
a sugar alcohol right, it swerves away from flavor.

Speaker 17 (01:25:00):
Back into I knew what happens because I was like, well,
maybe we'll bring the cookies in. I can ask Tom
if you want to try one, yeah, and give them
and preface it by saying this isn't what you're expecting
it to be. But then they were just sitting back.

Speaker 1 (01:25:14):
Cookie.

Speaker 19 (01:25:14):
You know.

Speaker 25 (01:25:14):
I was like, oh this, and you know, they're salty
enough where they kind of when it's done, you're like,
what's that a cookie?

Speaker 3 (01:25:20):
But it's not.

Speaker 8 (01:25:22):
I know, the sea salt might have been just because
there's patches where it's too much. I like them because
I've been on the same.

Speaker 3 (01:25:29):
You're doing it.

Speaker 25 (01:25:33):
Prison your prisoners, and somebody is giving you an out
for a minute.

Speaker 1 (01:25:37):
I know, put a pepperoni on that night, still eat
it and be like this is great, Yeah, I can
eat it now.

Speaker 17 (01:25:42):
I've been watching your show and you're like making all
these delicious baked goods and I'm sitting there in my
kitchen using fake sugar and I made a fake corn
bread the other day and I'm just like.

Speaker 1 (01:25:52):
This sucks. Well.

Speaker 23 (01:25:53):
Butter you can use butter, right, all kinds of butters.
There's a whole stick of butter in there.

Speaker 1 (01:25:57):
That's the thing. It's like, butter is That's what I
found going around all these bakries. And that one but
you took was twelve hundred calories. It's like so much butter.
I mean a ton of butter and everything, but for
some reason it doesn't taste like there's even butter in there.
Grass no big deal. You know.

Speaker 25 (01:26:14):
I live in La so there's a lot of vegan
friends and vegan restaurants, and you have these vegan desserts.
And my wife is a vegetarian and she'll bring in
these like vegan desserts once in a while, and it's
like you said, it's You're like, oh this even like
we get this, we call it facan it's and it's like, oh, yeah,
this is good. And then you have someone who eats

(01:26:35):
real bacon come over and they're like, what what do
you what is this? It's bacon as im not.

Speaker 17 (01:26:42):
I think part of it is the mind trick, you know,
And it's just like you, I know what I'm expecting
going into it, yeah, and I'm expecting it to be bad. Yeah,
and then I'm surprised when it's tolerable.

Speaker 1 (01:26:54):
Well, it's got to be good for it's got to
be like a mental release for you to actually think
you're eating a I miss.

Speaker 17 (01:27:01):
That's the one thing I miss, is like bread, Like
anything that resembles a baked.

Speaker 1 (01:27:05):
Good is what I miss.

Speaker 3 (01:27:06):
I know, I love.

Speaker 1 (01:27:08):
I'm always entertained by the lengths to which vegetarian and
vegan recipes will try to replicate every aspect of the
actual food that they can't have the burger bleeds, And
I'm like, well, it's beat you. Why would you try
to replicate arguably the grossest part of any meat?

Speaker 4 (01:27:26):
Right For people who specifically don't want that.

Speaker 1 (01:27:29):
Oh it's beat you. So I'm giving the satisfaction of
killing something and then bite into this vegetables.

Speaker 4 (01:27:34):
It still looks awful.

Speaker 14 (01:27:35):
No.

Speaker 25 (01:27:35):
I mean my wife went to a friend's birthday the
other day and at this nice vegan restaurant. You can't
get a plate of vegetables at this place. It's like,
just give me a potato and some vegetables. They're all
like mimicking. Here's buffalo wings, right, and here's Joe. It's like,
just no, don't pretend, because you could put it. You
could put crudite on the table at home.

Speaker 1 (01:27:55):
Going there, they're like, hey, look at this buffalo fried cauliflower.

Speaker 3 (01:28:00):
Yeah, but you do feel better, You feel good.

Speaker 17 (01:28:03):
I mean yeah, I feel like being on this consistent
diet definitely helps. I mean I lost twenty pounds, so
like it works. It's just it's still They tell you
that you get used to it and you won't miss
things after a while. Yeah, that's a lie. Tell themselves, like,
what almost three months, maybe two and a half months.

Speaker 1 (01:28:21):
You haven't gone through Thanksgiving Christmas?

Speaker 17 (01:28:24):
No, but I already have like like my alternatives planned out,
like you know, mashed cauliflower instead of mashed potatoes and
having I'm making a very crumble instead of having pie.

Speaker 1 (01:28:37):
Right, But I don't know how many of my family
members are gonna jump on board with me.

Speaker 4 (01:28:41):
Does your wife?

Speaker 1 (01:28:42):
Does your wife make you stay kind of vegetarian when
you're home?

Speaker 3 (01:28:45):
Do you play along?

Speaker 1 (01:28:46):
Or yeah? She doesn't make me. But because my daughters
don't eat meat either. Oh, so it's a lot of
solid airy.

Speaker 26 (01:28:52):
Do you do it?

Speaker 1 (01:28:53):
So? I, yeah, I just don't.

Speaker 25 (01:28:55):
I just don't eat that much meat ocause I probably
would if I was with a meat eater. So I
just kind of, uh, don't really eat as much when
I'm home. I am doing Actually, now that I have
a dog, you're walking, I'm doing a lot more.

Speaker 3 (01:29:08):
Yeah, I'm uh.

Speaker 25 (01:29:10):
You know, I'm friends with Joe Rogan, sure, and he's
a big elk hunter. So every time I see him,
he gives me bags of elk. Oh yeah, and uh,
and I bring it home. And my wife, who would
get annoyed when I used to bring it home, now
is like, are you going to give an Eatabella? Are
you going to make some of that for the dogs?

Speaker 1 (01:29:26):
Get the dog?

Speaker 4 (01:29:27):
But exactly dog is eating great.

Speaker 25 (01:29:30):
Yeah, So I feel like I definitely curb it because
I live in that house, and which is fine, but uh,
I can't cut it out completely. I just get the road,
eating bread and steak and stuff I'm eating like live pigeons,
anything I can get my hands on, just like a

(01:29:50):
little rattail on the subway.

Speaker 1 (01:29:52):
Yeah, yeah, I kind of lose it. I like, I'll
hang in there for a bit.

Speaker 25 (01:29:56):
And you know, my youngest is used to eat meet
and now she does, and she's thirteen, and everyone in
a while she'll come up to me and do we
have any turkey? She's an athlete, starts to yeah, she's
our body wants it, and she's like, I'll sneak her turkey.

Speaker 1 (01:30:14):
Say it was just on the side, like a drug dealer.
I put some beef turkey under your pillow. You need
me by the back door in a half hour.

Speaker 4 (01:30:23):
Always good to see you. Thank you so much for
coming in.

Speaker 1 (01:30:25):
This is a tree.

Speaker 4 (01:30:26):
Can you see your success with everything?

Speaker 1 (01:30:28):
Likewise, when if Baked gets picked up again, call in
and promote it and all that stuff, I absolutely will.

Speaker 4 (01:30:35):
Can I just call in once in a while just
to say hello anytime you want.

Speaker 1 (01:30:38):
When I'm not promoting something Open phone policy for you,
all right, Allen Carr Show.

Speaker 6 (01:30:43):
On one.

Speaker 3 (01:30:47):
Alan cox Man, we used to describe but school it
was a complete.

Speaker 18 (01:30:55):
The cock shoe.

Speaker 1 (01:30:57):
On one other point seven see Dave Chappelle on Friday.
He does a thing called Summer Camp Dave Chappelle and Friends.
And I wasn't sure what to expect some of our
listeners because he does it subsequent weekends, and a couple
of our listeners sent me some really helpful notes. By
the way they went the weekend before this last one

(01:31:19):
and sent me some really really helpful notes in that
I knew you couldn't take your phones in, but they
make it very clear that you can't have any electronic devices.
So you got a smart watch where they put him
in those yonder bags. You may have gone to a
show here in Cleveland. When these guys come through. There
are certain acts. The ghost just did it at the
Rocket Arena, Chappelle, Chris Rock a lot of comics to it.

Speaker 4 (01:31:41):
When they do play out Square and Arena or whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:31:43):
They don't want anybody filming, right, and boy, you can
really tell when you're at a comedy show and no
one's filming. They were like, because it's just very it's
very loose. It's very loose. But Dave Chappelle strikes me.
And I I've seen him before a couple of times,
but I hadn't seen him in this situation. And this

(01:32:04):
is that pavilion that he owns. He lives right there
in Yellow Springs, and he's almost singular handedly kind of
revitalized that town. And so there's this place called Weird Pavilion,
and there's chairs set up, you know, like you're at
a wedding or something. There's food trucks and there's well
there's no booze, and but you can bring your weed
in and and it's always him and a couple of

(01:32:29):
people that maybe you haven't heard of. And then he's
got some real heavy hitters. He's got like seven or
eight comedians with him. Now we're in line because there
are shuttle like school bus shuttle buses that go from
where everyone parks to the pavilion, and so we are
in line. You're close towards the front waiting to get
on these buses. And the people driving them walk up

(01:32:51):
and they tell you all the dues and don'ts. You
can't bring thiss, he can't bring this, you can't bring this.
So most people are standing there, you know, left it's
weird to leave your phone in your car, but we did.
And again we're not at the very front of the line,
but we're not far behind, like the first bend of
the line. And once the buses pull up, and there's

(01:33:13):
probably seven or eight of them, and I'm sure that
they have refined this experience. These started as COVID shows,
Dave Chappelle doing this because these were open air performances,
so him doing this at this pavilion that he owns.
I believe they're in Yellow Springs. Started as COVID shows
and they were so popular and word got around that

(01:33:35):
every so often in the summertime he does them again.
Still been doing them for five years. And so we're
waiting to get on one of these buses and a
few people have us. I start hearing people yell and scream,
and they're tuh, some woman has gone down drop like
a bag of dirt and it's not like it was

(01:33:55):
ninety five degrees. But then I hear somebody yell like,
you know, get some apple juice to some candy or something.
And we're right next to this place called Young's Dairy,
which is this massive place right there that's selling food
and cheese, kurds and all that kind of crap. So
you'd have to run very far to get some candy
or something. And I can't really tell what's happening because

(01:34:16):
this person is flat on the ground.

Speaker 4 (01:34:18):
They're being.

Speaker 1 (01:34:20):
Circled obviously now by people who look like they're in
charge or they're you know, you're relegated to a couple
of bus drivers and somebody who's I did see a
guy run over there in a Thought Patrol T shirt,
one of the guys who was helping to coordinate the transportation,
because he had a headset on. He had a sleeveless
Thought Patrol T shirt on, and I was like, hey,

(01:34:42):
just because he's clearly normally in charge of the Thought
Patrol doesn't mean that he can't be super helpful. And
so I'm like that I don't know what his training is.
And so this person's a family is standing there, and
again nobody seemed like really freaked out. But I guess
maybe it was a combination of the heat or whatever.

(01:35:03):
I was able to glean that it sounded like it
was like a diabetes thing.

Speaker 15 (01:35:06):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:35:08):
The person was conscious, they got him sat up or whatever,
and somebody called paramedics, and so a few minutes later
there's the scream of a couple of ambulances coming down,
and it occurs to me, we're all now going to
have to walk around this person to get on the
buses to go to the Dave Chappelle show, which is

(01:35:28):
going to feel really weird. This person's on the ground.
They're people pulling up administering some kind of medical assistance. Again,
they're not, you know, I don't think they put an
oxygen mask on them or anything like that. It wasn't
some situation where it where you know, every minute counts.
They weren't pulling out a defibrillator or anything like that.
I think this person probably just got too hot, maybe

(01:35:50):
it didn't need enough who knows, went down. And so
now the line starts moving a few minutes later, and
everybody's got to do give these people a wide berth,
and the lines for this bus are just like steaks
in the ground and like thin nylon rope, you know,
and so people start like manually moving the rope and

(01:36:12):
we're walking around these people. No, obviously there's nothing else
we could have done. It just felt really everybody's like, hey,
I hope you feel better. We're gon we're gonna go there,
so huh huh, I know you bought tickets for this
and everything. I hope, I hope you feel better. I
hope you're doing okay. And I have to assume that
they did. But you know these So you get to

(01:36:34):
this place and there's music. Dave Chappelle always has a
DJ who has to play for a long time because
they're waiting for the sun to go down, and so
this thing isn't gonna get going until dusk.

Speaker 4 (01:36:45):
You know, by that time, everybody's like kind of blazed
out of their gourd.

Speaker 1 (01:36:49):
Assuming the comics are too, because more than a couple
of them came out and kind of alluded to the
fact they were high.

Speaker 4 (01:36:54):
So you kind of get what you get.

Speaker 1 (01:36:56):
So he had a couple of people up front, one
girl who was like this young brunette that he said,
he you know, and obviously they're on his show, so
he sells all of them to you like they're gonna
be the greatest person you see tonight. This girl up front,
I don't even remember her name. She bombed hard, hard,
and Chappelle brings out a very broad audience. Right, there's like,

(01:37:18):
you know, old NPR tote bag couples, and you know,
a lot of like golf bros. An extraordinarily broad audience
at this show. Shane Gillis was his headliner, which was
pretty wild because he was just here doing the rock
and arena I think so Shane Gillis. He had Rich

(01:37:38):
Voss for people who know that is, he had Jo
de Rosa. He had Andrew Santino, who I want you know.
And so then I'm kind of doing the puzzle pieces
in my brain because Santino does a podcast with Bobby
Lee called Bad Friends, and Bobby Lee was here in
Cleveland over the weekend doing sold out shows here at Hilarities,
and so then my brain goes, ooh, I bet Santino

(01:38:00):
came in, say to the puckets or I'm like doing
all this in my head, right, And so it was great.
It was a lot of fun, long show well into
the night. But Chef recommends, did Dave do us set
or did he just kind of host? He did a
lot up front and then he did a little in
the middle. He brought some harmonica player from France that

(01:38:22):
he met who played harmonica he's like, this guy is
the best harmonica player in the world, a young, kind
of European looking guy.

Speaker 4 (01:38:33):
He also had a German comedian.

Speaker 1 (01:38:35):
Again, a lot of these people other than like your
big name headliners, a lot of people clearly are just
people that he met and was like, you want to
come to a show.

Speaker 4 (01:38:44):
And so he had this German comedian who didn't do great.

Speaker 1 (01:38:50):
But you know, like I said, by that point in
the show, I wondered if at the very least people
were getting a pretty heavy duty contact high back there,
and you know, maybe you weren't as dialed in as
and it's super casual anyway, so maybe they weren't as
dialed in as they might have normally been otherwise.

Speaker 3 (01:39:08):
So was Dave doing like material or was he just
sort of vibing with the day.

Speaker 1 (01:39:12):
Well, it's hard to tell, yeah, you know, because the
way he performs and talks, it's like he's just coming
to him. But clearly it's got stuff, you know, And
again you could tell that there was no way to
record people or film it right, So the language is
really loose. The subject matter for everybody was really loose,

(01:39:33):
which and there's nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 4 (01:39:34):
It just if you're not used to seeing shows like that.

Speaker 1 (01:39:37):
It can take you aback for a second and then
you go, oh right, nobody is in any danger of
getting canceled or none of this is going to go
up on YouTube.

Speaker 3 (01:39:46):
Or anything like that. How many people does that hold,
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:39:51):
I initially thought a couple of thousand, but it's probably
not that big the way that they have the seats
set up. But it's a good crowd and it goes
way back. We were like in the fifth row. Maybe
you were close. Yeah, we got right up front. I
mean we were on the first bus to the place.
Oh so it wasn't even everybody seating everybody, no, first come,
first serve. Oh that's great. So there were people filing

(01:40:11):
in for a long time after us. So not only
did that person pass out, but they got the crappiest
seat in the house. Yeah. Well I was thinking that too,
because you know, I'm out of my gorge and I'm
sitting there going somebody is going to be the very
last person to show up to this show.

Speaker 3 (01:40:27):
But they have a ton of merch in the food
trucks stuff like that. So the vibe.

Speaker 1 (01:40:32):
It was great. It was a lot of fun, and
Chappelle's awesome, but again, a really broad crowd, you know, demographically,
and so I guess that's a testament to Dave Chappelle
and just the fact that you're kind of going to
that little town and essentially, you know, geographically his backyard
figuredly speaking, to see this show. It was cool.

Speaker 4 (01:40:53):
Gazuntape.

Speaker 3 (01:40:54):
Oh my goodness, excuse me, how about that? Wow?

Speaker 1 (01:40:58):
I avoid bless you people, get a gazun tite for me,
just so I can be respectful of people who don't
believe rob people like me. No, I wouldn't be angry
if somebody said bless you. That's kind of the preferred nomenclature.
But I'll go that's what I always say. I will
go with the gazun tite for people who might not
want a bless you. I'm a bless you or a

(01:41:19):
salute guy, all right, I hit you with both. Now
I'll just stick with salute. Well, and it's short and sweet, right, Yeah,
I'm not gonna start hitting people with Gaelic at ane
meaning to people.

Speaker 4 (01:41:38):
So I'm not gonna opt for you.

Speaker 1 (01:41:40):
May the road rise to meet you.

Speaker 3 (01:41:42):
Yeah, that whole thing, that's a lot that just sneezed man.
Jesus didn't.

Speaker 1 (01:41:46):
I'll yeah, sometimes I'll whip him some Gaelic but you know, listen,
but even that is uh, that's religious in nature. That
just means God be with you. So I'll whip out
the gazun tite boy. I think people care not at.

Speaker 3 (01:42:02):
All, but it's just me. I am watching Peaky Blinders hard.
That is my whole Oh God for you. I know
you said you couldn't get into it.

Speaker 6 (01:42:13):
I I.

Speaker 3 (01:42:15):
Can't stop.

Speaker 1 (01:42:16):
There are shows along the way where I'm like, everybody
loves this show. I should love this show. Yeah, community
comes to mind an NBCP. I should love this show.
The cast is good, the writing is funny. I understand
why people like it. I should like this show.

Speaker 4 (01:42:37):
Can't get into it. Same with Peaky Blinders. So you
and I talked about this.

Speaker 1 (01:42:40):
Yeah, I'm gonna take another pass at it because I'm
also suspecting people go, you really got to get six
or seven episodes in? Okay, that's done.

Speaker 6 (01:42:50):
Seven.

Speaker 1 (01:42:51):
I didn't mean to do that. That's on them, not
on me. All right, Why am I gonna keep watching
a show I don't like? Sure, I understand what they mean,
but so once or twice a year, I'll take another
pass of Peaky Blinders.

Speaker 4 (01:43:05):
I don't know why I can't get into it. I
am hooked, OK.

Speaker 3 (01:43:09):
But I'm having this weird thing in my head where
when I watch those shows, I like have these conversations
in my head in whatever accents they have, you know
what I mean. I'll just be like driving and something
will happen and I'll be like a fostered aren't you,
And I'll like, It'll just happen in my brains.

Speaker 15 (01:43:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:43:27):
But I'm fighting with myself because I was also rewatching
the Sopranos yep. So I'm like, I'm literally having conversations
in my brain as Tony Soprano and Thomas Shelby at
the same time because I don't know what to do. Golly,
what would that sound like? Well, not even not even
thinking that that's pretty funny. Actually, ah, Jesus Christ cut me.

Speaker 12 (01:43:48):
Off in Traffic Cop and then I guess that's a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:43:52):
That's a lot of Yeah, that's big.

Speaker 3 (01:43:55):
Yeah, told miss Shelby I'd be more more Arthur, I think,
but it was it does it keeps happening that I'm like,
I'm getting all of this stuff in my head with
conflicting characters from TV shows. It's so odd.

Speaker 1 (01:44:12):
Biggie Blinders was on for six seasons, and again, I
like everybody in it. I like Tom Hardy and Killian
Murphy and everybody in it.

Speaker 3 (01:44:20):
Tom Hardy is so good in it.

Speaker 1 (01:44:22):
I he did a show for one season on FX
called Taboo, like six seven years ago. That's when I
tried to watch I Love Taba. They were going to
bring it back and thin get COVID hit.

Speaker 3 (01:44:32):
Or one episode, and I was like, this is dumb.

Speaker 1 (01:44:35):
Oh, I liked it.

Speaker 4 (01:44:36):
I'll see now you say that, I'll go back and try,
and I give him a lot of leeway.

Speaker 1 (01:44:40):
I watched the Tom Hardy thing on Paramount with him
and Pierce bros. It was okay, Yeah, I liked it too,
but but it was pretty standard fair.

Speaker 13 (01:44:52):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:44:52):
They didn't really they didn't break the mold with that show.

Speaker 14 (01:44:56):
No.

Speaker 1 (01:44:58):
But then other times he he had some movie on Netflix.
It was terrible, this movie havoc. Oh. I tried to
watch that. It was all him and Forrest Whitaker. I'm
like this in Timothy Oliphant, I like, again, I like
all those guys.

Speaker 3 (01:45:09):
I'm like, this sucks. It's stinks was channeling John Lovetts.
Did you watch he was in the Falklands War as well?
Did you see that? No, Someone was saying that that
was pretty It was like he did the voiceover work
for it, and it was like one of the better
documentaries because he was the one reading the scripts. I

(01:45:32):
didn't watch it, but someone was telling me about that. Okay,
so maybe I'll go back and do it. There was
a good bit about that too, how people in Brooklyn,
you know, mess up with the English language and that
sort of stuff. And the Falkland's War was the punchline
to the joke was they kept talking about the Falkland islands.

(01:45:52):
I don't know what Falkland islands you talking about?

Speaker 1 (01:45:54):
And it was a specific about ten years back Tom
Hardy and I don't know if anybody saw this movie,
but I love it. It's not even ninety minutes long.
It's called Locke Ilcke about ten years ago. The entire
movie is Tom Hardy behind the wheel of a car,
and every other character in the movie is a voice

(01:46:15):
on the phone he's talking to He's like a construction foreman.
So he's on his way to a gig, but somebody's embezzling.
His mistress is gone into premature labor, so he's on
the phone with her. His wife and son are on
another line. They're at home, they're waiting for him to come.
This is a guy torn in a whole bunch of
different directions, and it's just him behind the wheel of

(01:46:36):
a car talking to different people on the phone.

Speaker 4 (01:46:39):
It's unbelievable.

Speaker 3 (01:46:41):
He love to watch that in a second. I love
him so I could. I could watch him do anything.
He plays Alfie Solomon's a Jewish guy in Peaky Blinders.
It's a jeweler and the accent that he puts on
is so over the top, even for him.

Speaker 6 (01:46:58):
But I love it. I love it so much.

Speaker 1 (01:47:02):
It wasn't Pinky in the Blinders that cartoon with the
mouse and the I thinking of another, a different show,
Pink in the Brain the blind all right, Yeah, it's
my dude, Rob Paulson Alan the Henry Ford Museum. Jess
was talking about the Henry Ford Museum. It also has
the chair that Lincoln was sitting in at Ford's Theater.

(01:47:27):
Other than that, mister President, how was the play? Had
they Ford?

Speaker 3 (01:47:34):
Where'd that go?

Speaker 4 (01:47:34):
Ford Theater?

Speaker 3 (01:47:36):
And the bust Rosa Parks was on Yeah and a
Wiener mobile.

Speaker 27 (01:47:41):
Wow, they didn't have the bus rosa Parks bus the
last time I went.

Speaker 4 (01:47:47):
Just the Outcast song what any Who?

Speaker 1 (01:47:51):
So such a good song TWI I know, did that
band the right tricycle? And she's like, how are they
doing one of those wintermobile?

Speaker 3 (01:48:07):
Everyone has the crowd now?

Speaker 13 (01:48:12):
Yeah, podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:48:18):
Well, it's really weird that I don't need anyone to
acknowledge my sneezes. No, that too, But I grew up
in a bless you household, right, So when somebody sneezes
and I don't say something, I feel weird.

Speaker 4 (01:48:29):
I feel like it.

Speaker 3 (01:48:30):
I don't know, you can just hit him with the ew.
That is awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:48:37):
So anytime somebody sneezes around you, you go ooh, I
do the seine fell like, oh, you're so good looking,
because he doesn't want to say bless you, you're so
good looking?

Speaker 3 (01:48:47):
Oh God.

Speaker 1 (01:48:48):
So when somebody sneezes around Jes, she goes, eh, oh god,
where do you sneeze Jess into? What do you sneeze
when you have to you're in mixed company? You got
to sneeze into what are you sneezing?

Speaker 19 (01:49:01):
My arm?

Speaker 4 (01:49:02):
Like the answer, yeah, cork up your arm, right, yeah.

Speaker 27 (01:49:05):
Or if somebody open their mouth, she's out.

Speaker 1 (01:49:10):
There, man, And when he as a kid, you sneeze
into someone's mouth. If their mouth is open, she sneezes
into their mouth. Why I couldn't even get that out
because then she could go, oh yeah, your mouth, yeah,
you know, why was your mouth open?

Speaker 4 (01:49:26):
Why were you coming in?

Speaker 1 (01:49:27):
You know somebody's coming in trying to get some offer,
just sneezes right into their mouth.

Speaker 3 (01:49:32):
She keeps polling rob in all of her pockets. Well,
your arm is preoccupied. Where do you sneeze into someone's mouth?
Is that the follow up answer number two on the
family feud? Yeah, happening. I told you we should have
stopped on Friday. Oh she's not the crack Wow. Now

(01:49:53):
does that go in the dossier or not just dossier?
I think that was her attempt at being silly. But
I hope that that was her attempt at being silly.
Maybe stell out and remind me never to have my
mouth open up. Die jump out of the.

Speaker 1 (01:50:09):
Way, cracking herself up. I know I don't need that
to be serious or kidding. It's out there now. I
can't because my last entry in the dossier is she's
had two cars named Jerry Seinfeld.

Speaker 3 (01:50:23):
You did wait a minute, of everything that happened today.
Your last entry into the dossier was the car's named
Jerry Seinfeld.

Speaker 4 (01:50:30):
Well I need to update it. Oh oh okay, I
thought you were saying that was the Is this.

Speaker 3 (01:50:34):
My fun fact list? Well, it's your dossier.

Speaker 1 (01:50:36):
Yeah, that's how I kind of remind myself of a
dossier fun fact list. Yeah, because I don't a lot
of times I won't remember things, and so if I
can see them as they happen, I can go, Oh,
this thing right. Her favorite movie is Paul Blart Mall Cop.
That was really her first foray into little nuggets of information.
The first piece of the jest puzzle, I got a

(01:51:00):
good one. You can act confused by tricycles.

Speaker 3 (01:51:04):
Umm should be the name of a book.

Speaker 4 (01:51:07):
Confused by tricycles.

Speaker 3 (01:51:09):
Yeah, an album. That's the my book, my book title,
your autobiography?

Speaker 1 (01:51:20):
What what did you say?

Speaker 13 (01:51:21):
Are you like?

Speaker 4 (01:51:21):
I got something?

Speaker 1 (01:51:22):
Oh? Yeah, I got something? Okay, ready for this to
add to the fun fact And I'm as ready as
I'm going to be.

Speaker 27 (01:51:29):
My dream and this is a lifelong dream, aspiration or
this is a dream you had no an aspiration?

Speaker 13 (01:51:35):
Ye?

Speaker 27 (01:51:36):
My one aspiration is to be in a prescription drug commercial.
And do you have it planned out on what I want?
I mean not the drug.

Speaker 1 (01:51:44):
I don't care.

Speaker 4 (01:51:45):
Do you do care what the drug is?

Speaker 1 (01:51:47):
Nope, not at all.

Speaker 3 (01:51:48):
You just want to be like the person running down
the beach with a smile like that.

Speaker 27 (01:51:51):
I have a tray in my hand and I'm like, yeah,
with whatever, I can do my life again. And then
you set the drinkstuf.

Speaker 1 (01:52:01):
So you want to play a wait, wait, you you've
already scripted a random script for a big pharm a commercial.

Speaker 3 (01:52:08):
Gotcha?

Speaker 27 (01:52:09):
And then I guess, like rolling down a pasture or something.

Speaker 5 (01:52:12):
I don't know.

Speaker 15 (01:52:13):
This is the Ellen Cox Show on one hundred point
seven Double U M M A s.

Speaker 2 (01:52:22):
U an online magician, The Aeron Kirk Show on.

Speaker 1 (01:52:39):
When we've had doctor Ryan Bergland in here before. He's
a urologist from the Cleveland Clinic. If you're a longtime
fan of this show, you know who he is. If
you're new to it, he joins us a couple of
times a year. We do a segment called is It Red?
And he's a urologist over the Cleveland clinic, and so
we take calls and messages from guys who have some
strange things going on down there.

Speaker 4 (01:53:01):
He did my vasectomy a few years ago. He's a
good friend.

Speaker 1 (01:53:06):
It is an actual and he pointed this out. It's
not just a goof or something, you know, a slurr
you would throw out someone. It is an actual medical
definition to say that someone has a micro penis, not
just small.

Speaker 4 (01:53:23):
Micro penis is a specific condition.

Speaker 1 (01:53:27):
Now I don't know the stats on how many guys
are afflicted with that very specific condition, but there is.

Speaker 3 (01:53:34):
A guy.

Speaker 1 (01:53:37):
Who claims to have one of the smallest penises in
the world and he's trying to crowdfund an enlargement procedure.
Years ago, we talked about a guy named Jonah Falcon
who's really nothing to look at from the neck up,
but he was possessed of the largest penis. He had,
like a thirteen inch thing that was like, you know,

(01:53:58):
it's like he had a bunch of Campbell soup cans
and a tube sock ye down there. And to hear
him tell it his story, you know, you go to
any extremes on anything, and the people at the opposite
ends aren't going to be happy.

Speaker 3 (01:54:12):
He's like, nobody wants me touching him.

Speaker 1 (01:54:14):
The guy here with the micro penis, Michael Phillips, who's
thirty eight, lives in North Carolina, and he says that
he barely has anything and he really wants to get
penile enlargement.

Speaker 4 (01:54:27):
Surgery costs about six grand.

Speaker 1 (01:54:31):
Curse if they charge you by the inch, like if
you're going to go in, you know, I can't imagine
it would cost the same. If you say, well, just
make me average if you're a guy who has a
micro penis, which again is a medical determination. I think
it's less than an inch or something, right, he says

(01:54:51):
his his point three to eight inches.

Speaker 4 (01:54:54):
Holye, So it's like he's got a nipple between.

Speaker 1 (01:54:56):
His lens three eight inches, I mean, and with that,
it's not just so you can get some action, right,
It's like you you would barely be able to go
to the bathket Yeah, so you'd have does it? Say
what happens when it becomes turgent? Correct, probably goes two
point four inches?

Speaker 3 (01:55:16):
Okay, I don't know. I mean because a lot you know,
there's so many growers, right, so maybe you know, he
gets an inch out of it and then he can
again who's peeing.

Speaker 4 (01:55:25):
With it or doing anything with it.

Speaker 6 (01:55:28):
Ch Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:55:29):
So you know, on the one hand, if if you're
that guy and you just want it to be average,
you'd be asking for five inches. If you were getting greedy,
you'd go give me eight or nine. But I can't
imagine that you'd be charged the same. So at some
point there would have to be a conversation beyond making
a joke about it. There have to be a conversation,

(01:55:51):
but charging by the inch.

Speaker 3 (01:55:52):
See, here's the problem for this guy, and I think
for anybody if you're dealing with the micro penis situation,
is that there's only two procedures for length, and that's
what the guy needs. One of them is if you're fat,
and that dude isn't. So literally, all they can do
is what is this called a ligament release, where they

(01:56:13):
cut the ligament attaching the penis to the bone, allowing
the penis to hang lower and appear longer. However, it
doesn't increase the actual tissue size.

Speaker 1 (01:56:22):
Well, I was gonna say that sounds like it's an
optical illusion that looks like you're just kind of you're.

Speaker 3 (01:56:28):
Yeah, But if it's a termist of just being able
to take a leak. Yeah, and then the other one
is fat removal. So I don't know. I don't think
there's anything that you can actually do. You can't like
cut it and put an insert in. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:56:41):
Well, he said that the procedure that he's looking for
involves an injection of semi permanent dermal filler, oh god,
botox in his war Well, it sounds more like he's
trying to you know, he's trying to meg it like
a cream filled long John or something, I don't know,

(01:57:01):
fill it with a POxy. He says he currently has
to wear pull ups because he's so small that he
has a difficult time legitimately going to the bathroom.

Speaker 3 (01:57:11):
It really does like you do feel for people. Man,
that's exacting like condition. You're a thirty eight year old guy.
You're getting nothing.

Speaker 1 (01:57:18):
I mean, you know, well, if all the people who
walk in and shoot a place up, you think it'd
be a guy like this.

Speaker 3 (01:57:23):
She've also been dealing with it for thirty eight years,
you know what I mean, Like, why now are you
going to have the surgery? Like why not in your
twenties when you could have done something with it? Now,
no one's out there banging this guy's door down. I guess, right,
I mean, like I mean, no matter what it sucks,
I guess I can't judge for when you have the surgery.

Speaker 28 (01:57:41):
But pretty wouldn't know that it was a condition and
they were going through the same thing. They would actually
be able to go and get trained before it's too late.

Speaker 1 (01:57:52):
What made you realize that you were different?

Speaker 28 (01:57:55):
When I was talking to a girl in high school
over the phone and she asked me how I think
it was, and I gave her a roundabout estimate of
what it was, and she pretty much just laughed, and
she said, like.

Speaker 3 (01:58:07):
That's it.

Speaker 1 (01:58:08):
Oh, how did that make you feel?

Speaker 6 (01:58:11):
Probably embarrassed?

Speaker 1 (01:58:12):
How did that make you feel? What a cutting interview
there with a how'd that make you feel? I felt
great because I didn't understand numbers.

Speaker 3 (01:58:20):
That's a lie. Story. Got to high school and some
girl asked him how big it was. So prior to that,
he didn't know that he had an abnormally small penis.
He didn't realize that he was still wearing adult diapers
at fourteen years old, and that he couldn't clear his
belt to go to the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (01:58:36):
I mean, if you don't have I mean, there seemed
to be so many ways that you could just not
have information at your disposal. I mean, if you're kind
of a dork or whatever, you know, like you not
have a lot of friends, but you've never you're one
as a teenager. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe not.

Speaker 3 (01:58:52):
I don't know they went to a gym, you ever
worn or something anywhere? They never did anything. Yeah, and
if you lived under a rock, maybe maybe you didn't
have a dad, and there were a million things. Maybe
I could be convinced that a portion of that story
is real. But no, girl on the phone says, how
big is it?

Speaker 4 (01:59:12):
Do high school guys still shower after Jim?

Speaker 3 (01:59:16):
I would assume so, at least in sports.

Speaker 1 (01:59:18):
I wonder if that went away, Like in sports, but
like after Jim, class you had to shower, Yes, I
still do you think they do that?

Speaker 3 (01:59:25):
In six I would assume that's gone. I think, just
based on the A's probably been gone for a long
And I wondered about that it was in existence. I
graduated high school in ninety seven, and it was still
happening when I was in high school. Yeah, but I
have to assume there's no way in hell in twenty
twenty six that still.

Speaker 1 (01:59:44):
Happens well because after a while, like I obviously I
had gym class, I wrestled. You're naked around other dudes
a lot, you know, in the shower or you know,
weighing in or things like that. But I wondered if
that's still a everybody's kind of I shouldn't say uptight,
because there's probably good reasons to phase those things out,

(02:00:06):
but it just feels like something of a by gone era. Hey,
if you're a high school guy and you're still getting
naked with the till on six five seven, I want
touplow seven eight hundred and three four am, what's upload
seven back in a couple times a week with the
shrugs of the show a.

Speaker 3 (02:00:21):
Little were the locker rooms built where like the gym
teacher's office was adjacent to the shower, so it had
like glass mine was not.

Speaker 4 (02:00:30):
No, the gym teacher would make sure that we showered. No,
there was one school.

Speaker 1 (02:00:33):
There was one entrance into the shower and then once
you got before you on the outside of the showers
all lockers on the perimeter there is like it was
like you had to go through the back corner into
the back corner of the locker room, and those were
the showers.

Speaker 3 (02:00:46):
Nobody ever wanted a shower man. I remember one kid,
poor kid would go and he'd wear his underwear.

Speaker 1 (02:00:51):
Yeah, I didn't want to either, but I was like to,
But you also didn't want to show up to your
next class like sweaty and everything stick. I mean because
I went to Catholic school, so we're wearing and ties
and jackets and dress pants and I'm like, I don't know,
I'd rather I would rather be I don't think I
showered every time. Sometimes you just get the hell out
of there after gym class. But then I started wrestling

(02:01:12):
and I was like, oh, this is going to be
a regular thing anyway.

Speaker 3 (02:01:14):
I don't care. I would have much rather been unshowered
one hundred percent. At that age, I'm thirteen years old.
I don't want to go into shower with And it
wasn't just like I played football. I played hot. Like
you don't want to like walk into locker rooms grown men.
I'm thirteen, fourteen years old, they're eighteen pubes and everything.
I'm like, I look at it.

Speaker 1 (02:01:34):
I feel like this guy that age, you're still a boy.
Allan to be considered a medical micro penis. It must
have a stretched length of fewer than two inches stretched.
So stretch doesn't mean hard, No flaccid right stretched, just
flaccid to of less than two inches fewer than two inches.

(02:01:56):
Ethan buddy Ethan in Rochester. He's thirty six, and they
didn't shower after Jim. Now flash forward to Ethan's life now, yeah,
where he could potentially be showering with anyone big booty hose. Alan,
I graduated in twenty twenty five and we didn't have
to shower. If we did, I probably would have killed myself.

(02:02:19):
What year, twenty twenty twenty five? Okay, So then this
sounds like it's been phased out.

Speaker 3 (02:02:24):
You know, they's a good thing.

Speaker 1 (02:02:25):
Somebody else said, I graduated in twenty ten and nobody
was doing that.

Speaker 3 (02:02:28):
Yeah, I had. I had to assume that it died
quite a long time ago. I mean, with everything that happens,
like everything is under a microscope. Now, there's no way
anyone's allowing that.

Speaker 1 (02:02:40):
Alan I graduated in ninety nine and never once showered
at school. Okay, listen, I was class of eighty nine.
So in the span there, if that's more the norm
in the span there of ten years that went away.
It was normal where I went to school ninety seven,
I graduated.

Speaker 3 (02:02:57):
Yeah, but I'm also I don't I guess I'm saying
it was definitely gym class and everything, but maybe it
did stop at a certain point for Jim and I
just been mixing it up with all the sports. But
I'm I'm about positive. We had to shower every single time,
and it was mandatory.

Speaker 1 (02:03:14):
I just remember staying there in the shower and I'd
be like, oh, rough, gym class, right, and the kid
next to me'd be like, yeah, gym class. That's that's it.
Gym class. Like what eyah, gym class, Because you knew
on the other side of the shower wall it was
the girls gym class.

Speaker 3 (02:03:32):
Used to think, my god. I'm like, oh my god,
they're showering right now too, so that means we're both naked.

Speaker 1 (02:03:38):
Except you didn't want to do that because then you'd
get a rod in the boys shower and that was
and then people were thinking career suicide. Yeah, you were
done in school if you if you even remotely got
chubbed while you were in there, Oh god, yeah, forget
about it.

Speaker 3 (02:03:54):
I was always so petrified of the whole experience that
I never had to worry about getting a bonus.

Speaker 4 (02:03:58):
But you imagine she now freaked out. It's a good thing,
just as twenty seven.

Speaker 1 (02:04:02):
Had she been born twenty five years earlier, you imagine
how terrified she would have been to have been in
the shower after Jim with other people. She's terrified as
showers by herself. Huh. I didn't have to take Jim
in high school. You didn't have, and that's why sodays
kids are So why why didn't you take Jim in
high school? Because I was a marching band.

Speaker 3 (02:04:24):
What did you play in marching band? I didn't play
any instrument?

Speaker 1 (02:04:28):
Who oh my wait? Wait wait wait, how'd you get
in marching band if you didn't play an instrument? I
was on the flag and dance team. Oh that's right,
you mentioned that. Yeah, but that's the flag and dance
you're not a marching band. I exempted you from Jim.
Wouldn't you say, but you weren't part of the marching band.
You were the flag and dance team. That's part of
marching band, all right. I don't know why you wouldn't

(02:04:51):
just say you were on the flag and dance team.
She just did before the band car skip the middleman,
go right to it up.

Speaker 13 (02:04:58):
To the end.

Speaker 27 (02:05:00):
It was a part of marching band. We did all
what is it called summer camp, not summer camp, band camp.

Speaker 3 (02:05:05):
When someone says I'm in the marching band, it is
instantly implied that you play an instrument.

Speaker 1 (02:05:12):
Instantly you're talking about what they used to call it,
Color Guard. Ours was called dazzlers. Dazzlers, Okay, colo Garden.
So you you guys they were out there with poop
and rappah. So you you were out there like while
the marching band is playing. You guys were like the
performance people around it, right, Yeah, Okay, I understand when
you said I was in marching band. I thought you

(02:05:33):
meant you're out there with like a trombone and a
dumb hat on. You know, you got a bass drum
on your chest. Okay, of course you were out there
with the marching band. That's what that implies.

Speaker 3 (02:05:41):
That's why you would say I was exempt because I
was on the flag and dance team.

Speaker 1 (02:05:46):
Yeah, she was part of color Guard. Okay, well listen,
now we've now we've clarified. She was a spinner.

Speaker 3 (02:05:55):
You just hear the thud in the box when she's
shaking it.

Speaker 4 (02:05:58):
Yep, yeah, Grandma, what do they need for cola guard?

Speaker 13 (02:06:03):
A bunch of as?

Speaker 1 (02:06:04):
All right, Grayma?

Speaker 4 (02:06:06):
And I love you and miss you.

Speaker 24 (02:06:08):
Hey, Terry, Yes, sir, how are you doing?

Speaker 1 (02:06:12):
What's going on?

Speaker 3 (02:06:13):
Terry? So?

Speaker 24 (02:06:15):
I graduated in nineteen ninety.

Speaker 18 (02:06:18):
I, oh, good for you.

Speaker 14 (02:06:22):
I spent from six years old all the way to
college on a swim team.

Speaker 6 (02:06:27):
Yeah, so we had to see.

Speaker 14 (02:06:31):
All the guys naked all the time, showers. We all
shaved our bodies at the end of the season for
districts and stuff.

Speaker 24 (02:06:39):
So you saw it all.

Speaker 14 (02:06:41):
I saw everything I didn't want to see all the
time during.

Speaker 1 (02:06:45):
Some Yeah, because my school had like an annex that
you had to go to that had the pool in it,
and so like in the winter time, it sucked for
people that were on the swim team. That wasn't me,
But I had a lot of friends of the swim
team and they were kind of doing that same thing.
They were like they were a showering all the time.

Speaker 24 (02:06:59):
So well, we we had a guy. We had one
particular guy in our team. His name was Ty and
goopy kid tall.

Speaker 14 (02:07:10):
He had a ginormous wanger on him and he he
I mean, we wore the tiniest bull suits.

Speaker 24 (02:07:17):
You know, these things were nothing.

Speaker 6 (02:07:19):
To hide anything. Okay, it was on display.

Speaker 14 (02:07:22):
And it was funny because the mothers who sat in
the crowd when that kid would get up on the
block and you'd be like a mom from another team
that came in, I never saw this kid before.

Speaker 24 (02:07:34):
This kid would get up on the block and this
thing would be flown.

Speaker 3 (02:07:36):
Halfway across this way.

Speaker 24 (02:07:38):
And looked like a trunk.

Speaker 14 (02:07:40):
Yeah, moms would be like, oh, they'd all be like, oh,
whoa holy co He's probably hadn't weighed by this.

Speaker 3 (02:07:45):
Thing, probably had an unfair advantage because he had a runner.

Speaker 1 (02:07:48):
Seriously, it looked like he was getting a piggyback ride
from a Christmas Ham. He's doing it looks like a yeah,
this guy's got a wrap around his nigh as he's
getting unfair. Does he have to save that too for
the So the hydro dynamics.

Speaker 24 (02:08:06):
Here, guys, they would save everything, like.

Speaker 14 (02:08:09):
Even though you're touton, they still saved their eyebrows and
all the jump too.

Speaker 3 (02:08:13):
Hell yeah, why.

Speaker 1 (02:08:14):
Well they they want to be hydro dynamic, right, yeah,
all right, thank you, Terry.

Speaker 4 (02:08:19):
I appreciate it. Hey, Ronald, Yeah, what's up?

Speaker 24 (02:08:26):
Rob Allen's dude, what's up?

Speaker 3 (02:08:28):
Ronald from Cleveland?

Speaker 4 (02:08:32):
Better than Gladys.

Speaker 24 (02:08:35):
I got this some micro penish thing. Man crushed?

Speaker 3 (02:08:39):
What do you mean?

Speaker 24 (02:08:42):
I disappeared completely?

Speaker 18 (02:08:46):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (02:08:48):
Can you say more elaborate?

Speaker 1 (02:08:51):
All right?

Speaker 6 (02:08:51):
I was when I was in high school.

Speaker 22 (02:08:53):
Man, I had nine and three quarters on a good one,
I mean ten inches.

Speaker 3 (02:08:58):
I was pushing, I was doing good.

Speaker 1 (02:09:01):
Everything was fine.

Speaker 24 (02:09:02):
I turned sixty, it completely disappeared.

Speaker 4 (02:09:05):
There's nothing there but skin.

Speaker 1 (02:09:07):
Donald, nobody's going from ten inches to nothing. Tell me
the real story.

Speaker 5 (02:09:11):
I like you.

Speaker 1 (02:09:12):
I'm telling you. You know, it's a long way from
high school to sixty. So what happened in between? Nothing?

Speaker 22 (02:09:20):
I can't tell you, man, It's just it's gone. I
had to get a cancer. When I had surgery, they
couldn't find it. They couldn't get the cancer, and they
had to send a specialist in with the one of
them ultra sound things to get the cancer.

Speaker 6 (02:09:36):
And it's gone.

Speaker 3 (02:09:37):
Dude, ten inches is a pipe. There is no Now
he's got a vagiant wener and now you're in evan
any there's no vaina.

Speaker 24 (02:09:45):
It's a sad and skin vagina.

Speaker 1 (02:09:47):
Donald are you are you a married man?

Speaker 24 (02:09:52):
Yes, I am.

Speaker 4 (02:09:53):
And how has that gone over with the missus?

Speaker 24 (02:09:56):
Not good?

Speaker 1 (02:09:57):
Not good?

Speaker 24 (02:09:59):
Not good? On we got we we got a lot
of you know, we got a lot of different ways
to deal with that.

Speaker 6 (02:10:04):
Were a lot of toys out there.

Speaker 3 (02:10:05):
But I mean it's uh, we've.

Speaker 24 (02:10:08):
Got a good thing going.

Speaker 1 (02:10:09):
But I mean, I'm done, man.

Speaker 24 (02:10:10):
I there's nothing I can do.

Speaker 22 (02:10:12):
I'll I'll even go as far as if somebody can
help me get a peno and.

Speaker 24 (02:10:17):
Plant, I'll come on the show and show it.

Speaker 4 (02:10:21):
That's okay, Yeah, don't threaten me with a good time?

Speaker 19 (02:10:25):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (02:10:25):
This guy? Wow, Rob, I don't know, have you ever
called in when Doctor Bergland is on the show? Never?

Speaker 3 (02:10:33):
Never?

Speaker 1 (02:10:33):
Yeah, next time, next time. I don't know what I'm
booking him next probably later in the summer. But you
got to call and talk to this guy. Hey, man,
I'm I'm I'm down, Man, I'm down. How long has
it been using my real name?

Speaker 5 (02:10:48):
Right now?

Speaker 3 (02:10:49):
I'm going I.

Speaker 1 (02:10:49):
Understand, please don't so what how long has it been
like this? You said the high school you were allegedly
rocking a pipe and now nothing?

Speaker 18 (02:10:59):
Why? Man?

Speaker 6 (02:11:00):
Nothing, I can't I can't explain it.

Speaker 24 (02:11:03):
It's I mean, I piss on myself.

Speaker 2 (02:11:05):
Man.

Speaker 24 (02:11:06):
I don't sit down on.

Speaker 1 (02:11:07):
The toilet now.

Speaker 24 (02:11:09):
I kind of sit down on the toilet.

Speaker 6 (02:11:12):
Man.

Speaker 3 (02:11:12):
So you didn't use dogs pitch, You didn't notice anything
in your thirties and forties and fifties. It was just
sixty and it's gone.

Speaker 23 (02:11:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 22 (02:11:22):
I mean I noticed it getting softer and a little smaller,
but you know it was just you know, some in activity.

Speaker 1 (02:11:28):
But I mean it's just gone, man, just gone.

Speaker 5 (02:11:32):
Just man.

Speaker 1 (02:11:33):
I'll tell you what I would be looking into that
the minute I noticed something was different.

Speaker 3 (02:11:38):
Especially dude, if I lost a centimeter, I'd be like, hey, yeah,
te tailer, yeap.

Speaker 1 (02:11:49):
All right, well listen, uh Ronald, I don't know where
that leaves us, but uh you know, best of luck.
And next time you hear me with doctor Berglan and
make sure you check in.

Speaker 6 (02:12:00):
Okay, Hey man, love you guys, love your douche man.

Speaker 1 (02:12:03):
You guys rock it.

Speaker 4 (02:12:05):
We'll let her know, thank you, Ronald. App she loves
you too.

Speaker 1 (02:12:09):
Ronald calls Jess Dougie Dick from Dayton, calls her gladys.

Speaker 4 (02:12:13):
Yep, we call her delightful.

Speaker 26 (02:12:18):
Caw.

Speaker 4 (02:12:19):
There's no way he went from ten inches and nothing.

Speaker 1 (02:12:22):
Come on, man, Allen Carr Show on one.

Speaker 15 (02:12:31):
If you find yourself breathless with constant laughter, congratulations, Now
could you tell us what show you're listening to?

Speaker 3 (02:12:42):
It sounds fun?

Speaker 1 (02:12:43):
This is the Allen cock Show. I'm dropping my daughter
off at school this morning, as I do each morning,
and I'm a dropper at the door, and I'm walking
back and there's other parents dropping their kids off big
line of cars, and this kid jumps out of his
car and gets about thirty or forty paces from this

(02:13:03):
car and turns around and goes, mom, do I have
to eat the hummus? So clearly she had unless that's
some kind of first grade euphemism that I'm unfamiliar with,
and lord knows, I'm largely unfamiliar with all the first
grade euphemisms. But as soon I took that to me
and that his mom packed it. She's trying to do

(02:13:24):
right by him. She's like, hey, listen, is good for
it's chickpeas. I got some baby carrots in there, some salery.
It's good for you and all he wants. You know,
back in the day you were trading for stuff that
was you know, I know this kid's pain. Those were
my lunches. You know, peanut butter and honey sandwich, that

(02:13:46):
was my lunch. I don't mind that baby carrots, that
was my lunch. You know how hard it is. You
want to know why I'm good at what I do
because I had a childhood full of convincing people that
baby carrots were an awesome trade for Twinkies. That's how

(02:14:08):
I got my that's my name. I'm Alec Baldwin in Glengarry,
Glenn Ross. For Christ's sake, this watch costs more than
you made last year, and you drove here in a
Hyundai I think, is what he tells Ed Harris. By
the time I got to eighth grade, it was unbelievable
what I had done over the years for lunches, trading

(02:14:32):
with people. Every other kid in there, Hey, I'll trade
you Dorito's for a little Debbie. Yeah that sounds good.
Maybe I want the salty and not the sweet pikers.
That's nothing you do what I had to do, where
I'm trading the contents of a hippie lunch and trying.

Speaker 19 (02:14:54):
To you know that.

Speaker 1 (02:14:55):
You'll see those videos online of people where there's like
the guy who will start with the paper clip and
he barters his way to the Mona Lisa. He does that.
They do that in the office. Jim does that. It's beautiful.
You just find it. I'm sorry, somebody who finds something
you need and you barter up and up and up
and up and up.

Speaker 3 (02:15:12):
But then he dwight ends up with beans again.

Speaker 1 (02:15:15):
It comes all the way back to beans. Well that's
what I ended up with. That's what this kid had.
His were of the garbandso variety. He's like, do I
have to eat the hummus? And the mom goes no,
but she's doing her best trying to get him to
eat the hummus. And I don't know what she gave
him with it. Maybe nothing. Maybe he had to finger

(02:15:37):
his way through the hum raw and hummers. What people
do with peanut butter. People stick their frigging fingers in
a thing of peanut butter. I don't like that, of
course not. What are you a savage? If it's yours,
do whatever you want. If you're keep it under your bed,
you know it's yeah, well bread is fine. Put it

(02:15:58):
on bread. Yes, Sometimes you just want something sweet. You
don't need anything to interrupt that. You're like, this is
this will do a peanut butter is not sweet. It's
it's nutty, it's it's both. It's got sugar, it has
sugar in it. But if somebody goes, I want something sweet,
the answer is never peanut.

Speaker 3 (02:16:14):
I think of a reasy cup.

Speaker 4 (02:16:16):
Well, that's the chocolate, but it has peanut butter in
the middle.

Speaker 1 (02:16:20):
Yes, I'm aware of the makeup of a You got
your chocolate in my peanut butter. No, you got your
peanut butter in my chocolate. But you wouldn't say once
you bite into a resa, it's not sweet, it's steah.
But it's also not correct. I'll take your point. But
what I'm saying is it's not like that's full peanut
butter in there. It's like super sugared peanut butter mash

(02:16:43):
that's got chocolate all around it. Okay, if you made
your own like people do it, They go, I make
my own pan buttter cat like, that's a great thing.
You know, all the people who like want to make
their own stuff all the time. You know it's by everybody.
Can they take pride and make their own peanut butter cups? Wait,
you know how much you've got to spend in materials

(02:17:04):
to make your own crap when you could go get
a superior version for half the money. I've never understood
people are like, I spent nine times the money making
my own when I could have just bought it. Well
said that, oh, buy it.

Speaker 16 (02:17:16):
When he was in here, He's like, we spent fifteen
thousand dollars on a chicken coop and we got, you know,
two dollars eggs out of it, like the chicken coop.

Speaker 8 (02:17:24):
There's a new show on Netflix where chefs are supposed
to recreate snacks. In the first episode is the only
one I've watched yet, but it was trying to make
flame hot cheetos and you just can't do it.

Speaker 3 (02:17:38):
Make these.

Speaker 1 (02:17:39):
That is good. These companies. These companies employ food scientists,
which a lot of people didn't even realize is a thing,
food scientists.

Speaker 3 (02:17:48):
One of the people competing was a food scientist.

Speaker 8 (02:17:50):
Now they only have an hour, so that, yeah, it
gets a little difficult, a little difficult, but still they're
not even getting clothes right.

Speaker 1 (02:17:57):
Yeah, they've got these formulas down, they've they've you know,
they've are indeed, this crap within an inch of its life,
so it hits exactly the receptors in your brain that
will keep you going back for more. Ain't nobody making
peanut butter cups in their kitchen that are hitting the
same receptors. And you take a bite, I mean you

(02:18:20):
want to be nice.

Speaker 3 (02:18:21):
Yeah it's good.

Speaker 1 (02:18:22):
Because chocolate peanut butter are never bad. But then they
got to ask you. They never leave well enough alone.
People that make their own stuff, they never leave well
enough alone. They got to ask you, is it as good?
Oh God, why did you ask me that? I was ready?
I took a bite, smiled, nodded. I was ready to

(02:18:46):
just make my way and have enjoy the rest of.

Speaker 3 (02:18:50):
My day, and you had to ask me.

Speaker 8 (02:18:52):
There's nothing I find more annoying than when someone's bragging
about their family recipe and they don't understand that it
is really just tied to their family, like their nostalgia.
Because there's so many times, oh my mom, she makes
the best sauce. You never gonna it's she works all

(02:19:14):
day on it, and you have it and you go, okay,
it's okay, it's okay.

Speaker 3 (02:19:18):
No, No, it's the best. No, it's it's just it's fine,
it's it's okay, sauce.

Speaker 1 (02:19:23):
Well, I do like doing the thing that you think
it's doing yeah, but I do like that is preferable
to eating something when you're grown up and their recipe
doesn't hold up and you go, wow, God, why did
I Why did I eat so much of this as
a kid?

Speaker 4 (02:19:38):
This is awful. When it holds up, you're like, oh,
it's pretty good, well.

Speaker 3 (02:19:41):
When it holds up.

Speaker 8 (02:19:42):
But even I'm talking, yeah, their their family recipe, their
their mom's sauce. And again I'm gonna say it's bad sauce,
but it's not as good as they like. They're building
their mom up. That's they're saying the sauce is the
best because they love their mom. I think their mom's
just fine. So I'm I'm not gonna I'm not gonna
lie about how good her sauce is. It's it's okay sauce.

Speaker 1 (02:20:06):
Plus mom could be pouring the sauce out of a
jar when nobody's looking right, and this is not bad sauce.

Speaker 3 (02:20:12):
Let's be honest. They do a good job with that
out of the jar sauce.

Speaker 8 (02:20:15):
And when people like go, it's better if you make
a homemade if you're really, really, really good at making sauce,
it is, but a lot of times, it's really watery
and it sucks.

Speaker 1 (02:20:26):
Hey, do you like that bad sauce?

Speaker 13 (02:20:29):
Bad sauce?

Speaker 1 (02:20:29):
Do you like my mom's sauce? Well, it's really watery
and it sucks. And I don't know how you don't
know that. I know it's your mom. She's a lovely woman.
But leave the sauce to the sauce professionals. Pray go.
I assume gatzi, I assume that that is a thing,
sauce professionals. I think our buddy Steve Schmoller is a

(02:20:53):
food scientist. These people know things. They're like Indiana Jones
out there nah getting They're whipping foods on trees in there,
getting chased by giant boulders, trying to get a tiny
little herb. It's in the Amazon jungle. They're risking life

(02:21:14):
and limb to make things taste amazing. I ain't eating.
You're a homemade peanut butter cups. Stop, bid Stop, Why
do I have to tell you this?

Speaker 4 (02:21:27):
Stop?

Speaker 8 (02:21:28):
I'll take Justin's over your homemade I don't like the
homemade peanut butter cups are never the ratio is never right,
the chocolate's always too sweet. And then yeah, so even
a Justin's what is that that's like the healthier ones
that I don't like.

Speaker 1 (02:21:49):
Peanut butter and chocolate together, Well, we're excluding you from this.

Speaker 16 (02:21:54):
I like them both separately, but for whatever reason together,
it just I can't do it.

Speaker 1 (02:21:59):
I don't know if it's too much.

Speaker 18 (02:22:02):
I don't know.

Speaker 16 (02:22:02):
It's just like, uh, I think it takes they take
away from each other for me instead of enhancing one another.

Speaker 3 (02:22:08):
I think you were traumatized by a guy named Reese.

Speaker 1 (02:22:16):
Kind of like an F boy. Well, then you associate
peanut butter cups with F boys, which I would think
would make you enjoyed it a great Deale's pieces, big
fan peanut.

Speaker 3 (02:22:26):
Butter flavors, Well, we all started to eating those when
e Tea came out.

Speaker 1 (02:22:31):
People reminded me when I gave Erica hard time years ago,
she was making her own peanut butter.

Speaker 4 (02:22:37):
That has re aired occasionally on the sum of Show too.
I just listen.

Speaker 1 (02:22:42):
It's fine. But again, I'm a guy who grew up
eating natural peanut butter, which is where all the oil
separates to the top, and you got to stir a
stir and stir it. Every single time you see the
guy whistle the national anthem.

Speaker 3 (02:22:57):
Oh god, yeah, and uh was it Baltimore?

Speaker 5 (02:23:01):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:23:03):
Well, they're like, hey, what's a way that we can
make sure they don't forget the goddamn lyrics? Why don't
you have the guy whistle?

Speaker 15 (02:23:10):
It?

Speaker 1 (02:23:11):
Is there anything else we could do because that's really
annoying and lame. Well, I think that's talent. But it's
Chris Olman rob. Yes, that's right, the Chris almana four
time whistling champion and member of the Whistling Hall of Fame.
Where is the Whistling Hall of Fame? What did I

(02:23:35):
see on our road trip?

Speaker 5 (02:23:37):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (02:23:37):
God, one of the cities we stopped in or we
stayed in it there was a sign for the oh,
the Boxing Hall of Fame. You know where the Boxing
Hall of Fame is? No, it's in Canistota, New York.
It was like we were going from like leaving Boston
and going to Herkimer or something. Canistota, New York is

(02:23:58):
where the International Boxing Hall of Fame is now the
Whistling Hall of Fame. I don't know if there's a location.
It might just be an organization. It recognizes elite performers
rob who have elevated whistling into a serious musical art form.

(02:24:19):
This notable members like Bing Crosby and four time champion
the aforementioned Chris Allman. Other notable inductees include Agnes Woodard,
Lillian Williams, and Don Robertson. Huh, but I like the headline.

(02:24:47):
Baseball fans divided by Hall of Fame whistlers national anthem
pro is In every situation, people are divided, right, some
people like something, some people don't. People diners are divided
over cilantro. Yes, some of them like it, and so
there's no situation in life that isn't divided.

Speaker 3 (02:25:09):
Cilantro is just crap.

Speaker 1 (02:25:11):
Cilantro is delicious. I would I put it in every
possible thing. I can't. I put it in my underwear.
Rob makes my cheeks smell like a you know, like
I just got out of the Uh. It just does something.

Speaker 3 (02:25:26):
It is dust.

Speaker 4 (02:25:28):
Well, it's a genetic thing, right, Yes, you've gotten it.

Speaker 3 (02:25:31):
Tastes like soap. It tastes like just ass gross, nasty, disgusting.

Speaker 1 (02:25:35):
I made tacos last night, and my tacos when I
made them for myself because my daughter is a particular
way she likes hers.

Speaker 4 (02:25:42):
Her mostly sour cream and meat mine mostly Cilantro.

Speaker 1 (02:25:46):
Rob. Yes, when I got my little chicken and veg
bowl at Heinen's for lunch today, I said, hey, liberal
on the Cilantro poor from.

Speaker 3 (02:26:00):
Or so good thing that crap?

Speaker 1 (02:26:04):
Oh so good.

Speaker 3 (02:26:05):
I turned a whole pot of salsa and nasty with
one flake of that nonsense. It adds disgusting crap.

Speaker 1 (02:26:14):
I don't need pizazz, but it's I love Cilantro. I
put it in anytime I have mac and cheese in
an entire pot of mac and cheese, well the night
in a bowl, I don't mess up everybody else's I
Cilantro and in my mac and cheese.

Speaker 3 (02:26:31):
I mean, I'll give you the sachet, I like the
spice that it's Cilantro's disgusting.

Speaker 1 (02:26:36):
Now, Rob, I will not include Cilantro in a situation
where say it sounds like I'm stirring a pot of
mac and cheese.

Speaker 3 (02:26:43):
Ah, yes, yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 (02:26:48):
I won't include Cilantro in that, although that could conceivably
make things taste better too. I'm and I've never I've
never worked I've never worked Cilantro into anyway. Here's Chris
Ullman performing the National anthem at the Orioles game on

(02:27:09):
Saturday night.

Speaker 4 (02:27:12):
Buckle up right, I feel like I've done it a
service here, hold on.

Speaker 19 (02:27:30):
On.

Speaker 1 (02:27:32):
Oh wait, no.

Speaker 19 (02:27:42):
Not, He's.

Speaker 11 (02:27:46):
Right, store son and be there as the rock Ki
were there. And that's why it's not.

Speaker 2 (02:28:02):
No wrong.

Speaker 4 (02:28:04):
I'd rather hear this jag off and any more of
that whistling.

Speaker 1 (02:28:07):
Oh my god, whistel, whistle, don't interrupt this genius. What
are you doing?

Speaker 19 (02:28:16):
Fuck?

Speaker 1 (02:28:17):
It took you six months to teach yourself to whistle,
but you don't have a snowshovel. You're terrified at car
washes and showers and tunnels, but you took half a
year to teach yourself to whistle. Yeah, so I give
this guy prose something. I have to assume you you
you you didn't do so you could monetize it. Why

(02:28:39):
was whistling so important? I couldn't do it. There's a
lot of things you can't do. But I taught myself.
How did you teach yourself? I don't remember how I
did it, but now I can do it.

Speaker 3 (02:28:50):
Whistle.

Speaker 4 (02:28:54):
I think you need another six months.

Speaker 11 (02:28:56):
Now.

Speaker 1 (02:28:57):
I can't whistle either. I have to whistle. I can
only whistle inhaling robe.

Speaker 3 (02:29:02):
I could do both. I can constantly whistling, and whistleing
is continuous.

Speaker 1 (02:29:08):
Can you do the pinkies in the cheeks thing? No,
I can't either, but I saw like a how to
on that. Now again I I there's very few situations
that I can't whistle blowing out. I can only whistle inhaling.

(02:29:28):
See that's pretty good. I'm dropping a new album. What
do you think is the most famous whistling song? And
even she knows that, you think it's Andy Griffith show.

Speaker 3 (02:29:45):
I wouldn't say that's the most No, No, I don't
think so.

Speaker 1 (02:29:49):
Your bird sang it?

Speaker 13 (02:29:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 18 (02:29:50):
Is that why?

Speaker 1 (02:29:51):
Be honest? Is that why you wanted to teach yourself
to whistle? Because your bird could do something you couldn't do.
I think we spent another ten years trying to to
myself to fly because I was so.

Speaker 3 (02:30:02):
I think whistle while you work would be more popular.

Speaker 1 (02:30:06):
Okay, you might be right, but that's snow white and
this is Andy Griffith.

Speaker 4 (02:30:11):
Whistle wildly. I'm going with Andy Griffith.

Speaker 3 (02:30:13):
Man. You think so you think you think people younger
than me, I mean Jess, Okay, but I think most
people Jess's age have no idea what this is, and
probably never heard this.

Speaker 1 (02:30:27):
Snow Whites from the thirty But every kid has seen
snow White because it's a Disney movie.

Speaker 3 (02:30:32):
They weren't lining up to watch Andy Griffith he runs
when we were kids.

Speaker 1 (02:30:35):
And that's fair. I'm just saying that. I think kids
now they're not going back to Snow White. Their Disney
movies are like Little Mermaid and Mowaanan.

Speaker 3 (02:30:43):
I think you always stumble into those old Disney movies
no matter what. If you're a Disney fan, you're gonna
end up. I've never seen snow White. You never saw
snow White?

Speaker 1 (02:30:51):
No, okay, Rob, I'm a red blooded American man, No way.

Speaker 4 (02:31:10):
Andy Griffith all day, Yeah, I would.

Speaker 3 (02:31:14):
If just didn't have a bird that whistled that song,
she would have never heard that song in her life. Yes,
we'll never know because she did have a bird. I know,
I know, but I'm saying most kids have never heard
that song now, Or we could go with Whistle by
flow Ryda Oh God, or the.

Speaker 1 (02:31:31):
Whistle song from the legendary Chicago DJ Frankie Knuckles. Rob.
That's what I associate with whistling is the whistle song
from the late great Frankie Knuckles, who, of course came
up in the New York club scene. But when house
music was born there in Chicago, Illinois, Frankie Knuckles Rob

(02:31:55):
was at the forefront.

Speaker 4 (02:31:56):
And who could forget this? You remember the whistle song?

Speaker 3 (02:31:58):
Nope?

Speaker 4 (02:31:58):
You never worked dance right?

Speaker 13 (02:32:01):
No?

Speaker 3 (02:32:01):
But I mean I did, But I don't know this song?
Oh yeah, I do.

Speaker 1 (02:32:08):
Yeah, whistles on baby.

Speaker 3 (02:32:12):
Hellow rider Whistle.

Speaker 6 (02:32:13):
That's the.

Speaker 3 (02:32:15):
There's the other one. Now I know I can whistle
the anthem. I might go over to the guardians and
see if I can get in there, get in on
that action. They might be looking for a whistler.

Speaker 4 (02:32:37):
Oh, I just got it. It's like Florida.

Speaker 3 (02:32:42):
Alsom.

Speaker 1 (02:32:43):
Not sure he's talking about a whistle. I bet he's
talking about his penis. Hey we go, Hey Cayden, Yeah,
what's up?

Speaker 4 (02:32:58):
I can Are you the eleven year old?

Speaker 18 (02:33:01):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (02:33:01):
Good pipes for an eleven year old?

Speaker 1 (02:33:03):
Yeah, I haven't. I have a nephew named Cayden. He's
in the Army stationed uh Over in Germany. How do
you spell Caden?

Speaker 2 (02:33:11):
Kay?

Speaker 4 (02:33:13):
Which one of your parents put you up to this phone?
Call your mom or your dad?

Speaker 6 (02:33:18):
Well?

Speaker 10 (02:33:18):
I called by myself, like Thursday last week, I think, Yeah,
I listened to it a lot with my dad, yep,
And I just wanted to call and talk about the
Supercross coming to Cleveland because my uncle, Oh, he is
racing and he's sponsored.

Speaker 1 (02:33:35):
By Oni fans. I gave away tickets for that. You're
talking about the AMA Supercross thing. Yeah, my uncle was
one of the racers. I gave away tickets for that,
Like the we were on vacation last week Cayden, so
I gave away tickets the week before. So I'm hoping
that a lot of people make it to that because
it's over at Bronze Stadium.

Speaker 18 (02:33:53):
Yeah, yeah it is.

Speaker 4 (02:33:57):
It's bank Field. You said it's sponsored by.

Speaker 1 (02:33:59):
All only fans. Yeah, my uncle he's one of the races.
Oh your uncle is sponsored by only fit. Does that
mean that a lot of people have seen his wiener?
They call him the kickstand. My uncle is the kickstand?

Speaker 11 (02:34:14):
Uh huh?

Speaker 10 (02:34:17):
All right, Oh no, he's trying to get a lot
of people to come.

Speaker 4 (02:34:21):
Well, that's where the only fans.

Speaker 15 (02:34:28):
The Alley Cocks Show on one hundred point seven doublemmas
one hundred point seven WMMS Cleveland Car Show.

Speaker 1 (02:34:39):
He's Fit and has bags of komismen.

Speaker 15 (02:34:46):
On one hundred point seven doublemmas.

Speaker 26 (02:34:49):
Hey, I'm listening to you guys talk about how great
of a person Shack is. I'm wondering if you've heard
these stories from his ex teammates about how he would
take their tooth precious and mouth cards and things like
that and put them in his buff hole and then
give them back and watch those teammates use them.

Speaker 1 (02:35:10):
That is what makes Shack a great What you can
take me, but you kind of take my moonholder. By
the way, we didn't just locker room stuff.

Speaker 3 (02:35:19):
Isn't that the excuse everybody uses people say things like
grab women by their past.

Speaker 1 (02:35:23):
It's just locker talk talk.

Speaker 3 (02:35:25):
It's just Shaq's just having fun.

Speaker 12 (02:35:27):
He's so what.

Speaker 3 (02:35:32):
Didn't way past it? He just kind of rubbed the
toothbrush around the spokes a little. It's fine.

Speaker 1 (02:35:37):
We weren't talking about what a great person Lebron was
or Shaq was. We're talking about what an entertaining person
he is, what a good ballplayer he was back in
the day.

Speaker 3 (02:35:46):
I don't know what kind of person he is he is.
Oh I definitely said he was a great guy. Oh
you did, because he's always You always see videos of him,
like paying for things. He walks through the store, see
you go, he buys engagement ring. I'm just talking about
the things you say. Visually he appears to be a
good guy.

Speaker 1 (02:36:01):
Are we supposed to What do they say all the
time when somebody wants to get out out of the
hot seat. Well, we don't want to judge anyone by
the worst thing they've ever done.

Speaker 3 (02:36:11):
Yeah, and if it makes you a bad person to
brush your spokes with someone's toothbrush, I'm a terrible person too.
Oh you've done that wells on a friend. Oh, it
wasn't a friend, and it wasn't necessarily the same on
a type of the story. It was a it was
a thing, and it wasn't necessarily Yeah, I did it.

Speaker 4 (02:36:34):
You put a toothbrush in your butt, in my butthole.

Speaker 1 (02:36:36):
No, you scrubbed the cheeth, scratched.

Speaker 3 (02:36:39):
An itch with the closest thing I could find at
the time, and then I threw the toothbrush away.

Speaker 1 (02:36:47):
Oh, this one doesn't put it back.

Speaker 3 (02:36:49):
I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to put it back.
I wanted to, that was the whole plan, but I
couldn't bring myself to do it.

Speaker 1 (02:36:55):
So they came.

Speaker 3 (02:36:56):
They came back to no toothbrush, so no too. Well,
they probably saw it in the trash.

Speaker 4 (02:37:00):
And go, oh it fell off the vanity one just
picked it up and threw it in the trash. Let
me go put it back into my mouth. And I
got into a.

Speaker 3 (02:37:06):
Beef with a dude, and uh, I went to have
a waz and I saw it sitting there and I
was like, oh, son of a bitch, yep, I'll get him,
and I did it. And then I was like, I can't.
Poor guy's gonna brush his teeth with that. I just could.
I was, I was, I was offended for him, so
I threw it away. Do you remember the fight was over?

(02:37:27):
Probably stupid? Probably we were at a party, which is
something dumb, you know what I mean. I can't tell
you exactly what it was.

Speaker 1 (02:37:35):
No, but that's why you don't leave your if you're
gonna have people over, you don't leave your toothbrush out,
or you like I have an electric toothbrush, so you
know periodically.

Speaker 4 (02:37:45):
You're changing the heads.

Speaker 1 (02:37:46):
Anyway, Sure, of course you'd have to know that it
had been in somebody's buttthole and an.

Speaker 4 (02:37:54):
Electric toothbrush would probably.

Speaker 1 (02:37:56):
Be even more enticing to do that, because you're getting
you're getting, you're getting the triple fast act continuous itch.

Speaker 3 (02:38:04):
Yeah, you really really getting that thing out of there?

Speaker 1 (02:38:07):
Mmm.

Speaker 18 (02:38:08):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (02:38:09):
It wasn't my greatest moment, but at least I knew
enough to not do it. You know what I mean.
I stopped myself from my intrusive thoughts.

Speaker 1 (02:38:17):
You showed restraint. I showed restraint, and I think that
that should be commending.

Speaker 3 (02:38:21):
Thank you all.

Speaker 1 (02:38:22):
Somewhere out there, there's a guy who doesn't know how
close he came to scrape in his molers with Rob's flakes.

Speaker 3 (02:38:30):
That's right, very close.

Speaker 1 (02:38:33):
He doesn't know.

Speaker 3 (02:38:34):
But yeah, even even in that, I have so much
guilt in me. I was a good kude to somebody.
I'm drunk. At the same time, I couldn't do it.

Speaker 4 (02:38:41):
That's nice, though it's cross to do that.

Speaker 18 (02:38:44):
Well.

Speaker 4 (02:38:45):
I don't like prank humor for one thing. I don't
find it funny.

Speaker 1 (02:38:48):
That kind of stuff, though it's gross, you can make
somebody sick. I I listen, I'm not made of wood.
I understand why it's funny, but I would be livid
if somebody he had done that.

Speaker 6 (02:39:00):
To me.

Speaker 3 (02:39:00):
Of course that was but that was my point. I
wanted him to be livid. I wanted him to be angry.
I was angry. Yeah, like, oh yeah, so brush your
teeth with my bum take that. Take that guy.

Speaker 4 (02:39:12):
Unfortunately for you, I just showered.

Speaker 3 (02:39:14):
Yeah, I'm horribly clean back there.

Speaker 6 (02:39:16):
Damn it.

Speaker 1 (02:39:18):
The booty is where the doowey is bar?

Speaker 3 (02:39:21):
Would you say?

Speaker 1 (02:39:21):
Jess said it's revenge and they don't know what happened, right,
And I couldn't live with that, so I aborted the mission.
I have a concession to make. Oh I put somebody
is a just level em you did.

Speaker 3 (02:39:39):
She got as far as I put somebody's toothbrush in,
so it's already we already know where this is going. Yeah,
I this was like almost ten years ago.

Speaker 1 (02:39:48):
But I put somebody's toothbrush and then toilet, and I
cleaned the toilet with it, and I put it back.
It's like the Seinfeld episode where he knocks Kristen Davis's
toothbrush in the toilet and I.

Speaker 27 (02:39:59):
Walked out of that bathroom like he's never gonna know.

Speaker 1 (02:40:02):
But why did you do it? You were mad at
this person? Oh yeah, okay, this was this was a boyfriend,
I'm not a boyfriend. You got that mad at a
dude you weren't having sex with?

Speaker 6 (02:40:11):
Why?

Speaker 1 (02:40:12):
Uh, that's the that is the that's the kind of
anger that should my boyfriend's friend. But that should that's
the kind of anger that should only be reserved for
people with whom you're being intimate. No, you shouldn't get
mad at a civilian. No, I think it was my
boyfriend's friend.

Speaker 4 (02:40:28):
I think cleaning a toilet is worse. That's what I'm
saying it on my ass.

Speaker 1 (02:40:32):
Yeah, you're you're you're getting multiple I was drunk, of course,
but I went in there and I'm like, hmmm, this
dude brush and cleaned the.

Speaker 3 (02:40:40):
Toilet with it. Oh my god, this the toilet was clean?
Was it your place?

Speaker 11 (02:40:45):
No?

Speaker 13 (02:40:45):
It was.

Speaker 4 (02:40:46):
That's why his toothbrush was there, right right right?

Speaker 3 (02:40:48):
I didn't think that. The good news is the guy
got a clean toilet out of it. Yeah, you didn't
have to clean his toilet. But wouldn't you look at that?
I mean, if like, my toothbrush tastes funny and my
toilet's clean, I.

Speaker 1 (02:40:59):
Mean, how many drunk people unless they've just vomited and
it's a reflex how many drunk people are brushing their
teeth Like, you're not going to notice that until the
next day, and then you might not clean.

Speaker 3 (02:41:10):
Yeah, but eventually you're gonna use that toothbrush again, just
rehydrating it.

Speaker 1 (02:41:18):
I forgot I did that until you guys have brought
this up. Well, I'm glad we could resurrect that memory
for you. Maybe you should call that person. Nope, I sigh,
like you know, years ago and I'm drunk, I brushy
clean your Tourlet remember tooth brush.

Speaker 3 (02:41:34):
I kept making jokes to you about having bad breath.
That's why have bad breath, because I scrubbed your two
toilet toothbrush.

Speaker 1 (02:41:44):
She calls the guy's house, and his mom answers, oh
he died. Oh what did he die from? What did
he die from? He got some infection. Yeah, it was
a terrible thing. He was brushing his teeth and he
went into cardiac arrest. He had e colei and gonorrhea
and sceps. Oh golly, he had all this stuff at
one time.

Speaker 3 (02:42:03):
But booties where the doo dooey is barn kidneys failed.

Speaker 1 (02:42:10):
Just goes back into the hedge like Homer. Oh I
had heard just checking in on it. No, I've never
done anything like that. To the best of my knowledge,
It's never been done to me because I'm not prone
to leaving my tooth brushes out, and I wasn't throwing parties,
you know, you know what I mean. I wasn't in
a You know, I had girlfriends, obviously they were mad

(02:42:31):
at me, but they would just try to stab me.
They wouldn't like try to brush my toilet. Yeah, I'd
rather have her try to stab me in my own
kitchen than than brush my toilet.

Speaker 3 (02:42:45):
Although my toilet's pretty squeaky clean. You could much rather
have your toilet clean with the toothbrush and get stabbed.

Speaker 4 (02:42:50):
Well, sure, I mean sms like that impossible game.

Speaker 3 (02:42:53):
Would you rather get shot in the United States or
stabbed right in Europe?

Speaker 13 (02:42:59):
Right?

Speaker 3 (02:42:59):
You know what I mean? This is this is as
challenging as that game. What would you you would rather
have someone stab you? Or I guess you said attempt
to stab. You didn't say stab. That's where the that's
where it gets tricky. So you'd rather have someone try
to stab you then have someone brush their toilet with
your toothbrush?

Speaker 1 (02:43:20):
Well, I only know the one scenario. I mean, she
did try to stab me in my kitchen.

Speaker 13 (02:43:26):
It's bad.

Speaker 1 (02:43:28):
I maybe that was the epilogue. Maybe she had already
tried to do the thing. Maybe she'd already brushed my
toilet and then when I didn't notice. I mean, she
It's not like she was gonna put my toothbrush up there,
because that wouldn't have done anything.

Speaker 3 (02:43:46):
You know, it was up there half the time. Anyway,
that's igendu. So I don't know what she did. M
We've got stab your shot. You gonna play sad shot realquick?

Speaker 1 (02:43:58):
Yeah, okay, go ahead, it's time to way would you'd
rather be stabbed in Europe or shot in the US?

Speaker 15 (02:44:06):
The game show where you decide if you'd rather be
stabbed in Europe or.

Speaker 1 (02:44:10):
Shot in the US. Now, here's your host, Allan Cox.
Thank you, dadny night. All right, are you each get
one question and then we will move on from there.

Speaker 6 (02:44:26):
Okay, all right?

Speaker 4 (02:44:29):
Do you want to go first or just just want
to go ladies first?

Speaker 3 (02:44:32):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (02:44:33):
Just is it better to be stabbed in Europe or
shot in.

Speaker 1 (02:44:39):
The United States?

Speaker 13 (02:44:41):
Now?

Speaker 1 (02:44:41):
I want wait, wait, wait, wait, you didn't get anything
process this. I want you to think about it, just
to give it the briefest of moments. Where in Europe?
Think about the possibilities? Boy, where do you go with
that one? Ac Well, maybe I wasn't clear as to

(02:45:02):
the that's in Europe. Okay, we're in Europe. Mm hm, no,
no it's not.

Speaker 6 (02:45:10):
There is no.

Speaker 4 (02:45:13):
Listen, why does it matter where?

Speaker 3 (02:45:16):
By the way, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:45:17):
I said that.

Speaker 3 (02:45:17):
I said where, and now we've stumbled onto additional I'm sorry,
just geography fantasticness, right, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:45:28):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (02:45:29):
I guess I'll say, yeah, see, I'm in Europe, Kentucky.
Stabbed or shot? Jess, I'm gonna say, uh, stabbed.

Speaker 1 (02:45:40):
I'm sorry, the answer is shot. You'd rather be shot
in the United States. Rob your turn, boy. I don't
know if I'm in Greenland at the time.

Speaker 3 (02:45:53):
If I go to Antarctica, perhaps Asia, then I come
back to Greenland, which is planted firmly in Europe.

Speaker 1 (02:46:04):
Yes, I mean they are, they are European citizens, But
I don't think geographically.

Speaker 3 (02:46:11):
I'm gonna say, uh, what does she say? She said shot,
and I'm gonna say shot. No, No, I'm not stabbed.

Speaker 1 (02:46:24):
It's not stand either. You have a boy for class,
stab or shot.

Speaker 4 (02:46:31):
Always a good time.

Speaker 1 (02:46:33):
Our contestants will get the home game made in Greenland?

Speaker 4 (02:46:40):
Yeah, problem us here.

Speaker 1 (02:46:43):
And stabbed the shot this has been.

Speaker 4 (02:46:48):
Would you rather be stabbed in Europe or shot in
the US?

Speaker 1 (02:46:53):
How did you land?

Speaker 4 (02:46:54):
How did she land on Greenland?

Speaker 8 (02:46:56):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:46:56):
It's the first thing that popped into my head. Greenland
was the first thing that popped in your head when
you heard your sounds European. But you know places in Europe. Yeah,
but I don't want to be you know, like England.

Speaker 3 (02:47:09):
Why why that's too obvious?

Speaker 1 (02:47:11):
But Greenland is okay, well listen, okay, too obvious, gotcha?

Speaker 3 (02:47:16):
Okay, Scotland, Ireland, Okay, okay, she's looking at a map.

Speaker 1 (02:47:21):
No, I'm not. No, that's what That's what I'm saying.
Most people can rattle off two or three places firmly
in Europe, right, and I just looked it up at
Greenland is.

Speaker 3 (02:47:32):
Not no technically part of North America. Keeps saying he's
gonna take it. Yes, Yeah, that's probably why it popped
into your head because it was in the news. It's
been in the news, the news. No, I know, but
you probably osmosis say you think she's reading the news
but I mean, I mean, I suppose shouldn't be. I

(02:47:54):
think baby's head smells sweet. You know, well they do
smell sweet. They just don't smell sweet. For the reason
you thought they smelled sweet. That they're leaking brain fumes
their brain just like Greenland.

Speaker 27 (02:48:05):
Sounds like it would be next to uh, what's the
one that starts Switzerland?

Speaker 1 (02:48:11):
It sounds like it.

Speaker 3 (02:48:12):
Would be yeah, not uh, but no, it's you know Iceland. Also, yeah,
you know, off the coast right there doing the people
are socking.

Speaker 1 (02:48:30):
That wine drigging? Why is that where to get runs
dot Barne? Where doesn't breaking down, breaking half downs and shock?

Speaker 3 (02:48:39):
The moment you got on there got them they had
to get together in bars on wine.

Speaker 1 (02:48:47):
Well, I'll tell you what. It's Thursday, and that's good enough.
That party aunt you have is gonna be on one
today because it's National Chardonay Day.

Speaker 3 (02:49:02):
Nice.

Speaker 4 (02:49:03):
Is that red or white? Chardonay's white?

Speaker 1 (02:49:07):
Is that the red or the white?

Speaker 3 (02:49:11):
Can never remember that.

Speaker 1 (02:49:14):
White? There's that movie starring Just's favorite actor Ace Ventura,
New England clam Chowder. Is that the red or the white?

Speaker 4 (02:49:28):
Okay, so chardonay is white.

Speaker 3 (02:49:31):
I don't know a lot about wine.

Speaker 1 (02:49:34):
All I know is red with meat, white with fish, right, yep,
But I don't know chicken, chicken, y whit cook.

Speaker 3 (02:49:41):
You know this stuff, white meats versus red meats. Right,
red wine? There are some reds that go very nice
with white meat as well. Lighter usually pinot noirs. That
type of thing goes very nice with a pork or chicken. Okay, wow,
how about that? Are cheese the most wine with cheese?

Speaker 6 (02:50:02):
Right?

Speaker 3 (02:50:03):
Bigger wines, especially depending on the type of cheese you're eating.
But bigger wines cabs. But now, what do you mean
by bigger wines? More robust?

Speaker 4 (02:50:12):
Robust wines or wine cheese? Big heavy wines.

Speaker 1 (02:50:15):
As opposed to there are some wines that are thinner
or the they don't have any tannins in them.

Speaker 13 (02:50:20):
Ye.

Speaker 3 (02:50:20):
Yeah, wine the bigger usually when you're it depends again
going depending on what you're looking for you flavor wise,
dark chocolate you want a big red wine. Some cheeses
you want big red wines. Wow, those are the things
I enjoy. I love, love, love love red wine. I
know you do like the finer things in life. I do,
ac I do.

Speaker 4 (02:50:41):
I know you have your caviar budget.

Speaker 3 (02:50:44):
Told you that got slashed gas six bucks a gallon
cotten into the cave. Yeah, I mean I'm down to
like an ounce once a month.

Speaker 27 (02:50:53):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (02:50:54):
Yeah that's not good.

Speaker 3 (02:50:56):
No, it's not good. I'm sorry to hear that. Try
to explain it the guy that adores Hello bast zones,
But does it?

Speaker 4 (02:51:04):
You don't want to downshift to row talk.

Speaker 3 (02:51:08):
Not a farmer?

Speaker 1 (02:51:10):
Well, anyway, will anyone in your home at Kosta Anthony
be celebrating Shardona Day?

Speaker 3 (02:51:15):
Well, now that I know, I'm gonna have a tough
time arguing for a Manhattan.

Speaker 1 (02:51:19):
Every year, Rob, it is the Thursday before Memorial Day?

Speaker 3 (02:51:24):
Okay? Is there any particular reason? I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:51:28):
Okay, but you know we always we see these ladies.
You want to talk about white most see white ladies.

Speaker 17 (02:51:33):
Ah.

Speaker 1 (02:51:34):
You know if you have a mom or an aunt
that has a T shirt, you know that says, I
wonder if Wine thinks about me too. They're probably celebrating
shardon A Day. There's all kinds of pithy wine merchant.
It's Wina clock wine a clock corks there for quitters. Hey, listen,

(02:51:57):
that was the motto in Boystown too. AnyWho, I'm into fitness,
like fitness wine into my mouth, fitness cheeseburger into my stness.
I can't read without my glasses. It's a shirt with
wine glasses on it. It's wine o' clock somewhere out
Oh yeah, AnyWho, those kinds of ladies will probably be

(02:52:21):
a line coming out the door over at Cooper's Hawk
for Chardon a day. Yeah. I don't know wine. It's
the very first thing I ever got pukey drunk on
when I was fifteen, and I never really looked back.
I drank pretty much an entire box of phronsie red
I'll do it, and I just did not go back
to wine.

Speaker 3 (02:52:40):
So you're drinking the good stuff too, so that'll help you.

Speaker 1 (02:52:44):
Yeah too.

Speaker 4 (02:52:45):
And I wasn't messing around.

Speaker 1 (02:52:46):
I just pulled the bladder right out of the box,
no pretense whatsoever. And I was eating peanuts because I
was fifteen and I didn't know anything about anything, and
I thought, in my fifteen year old brain, the peanuts
will soak up the wine. I'm like, I don't want
to drink this entire box on an empty stomach.

Speaker 3 (02:53:07):
It only made it a little more greasy, probably made
the puke come out faster. Oh, it was like I
mean it was I was.

Speaker 1 (02:53:12):
I have my head in the toilet all night, just
chunks coming out my nose and my mouth and my
you know, it was awful. And I was like, you know,
unlike so many other people who are like, I'm never
doing this, Agan and the next weekend, you know, Nope,
didn't drink for eleven years.

Speaker 3 (02:53:28):
Good for you when I was fifteen, and I.

Speaker 1 (02:53:30):
Probably wouldn't have started drinking that much at all had
I not gotten into radio. Because you find yourself in
a lot of bars doing appearances and things like the
one I'll be in tonight, Rob, I won't be drinking
a Shardona, although I bet I could order one.

Speaker 3 (02:53:46):
I guarantee you could. That's one of those every bar has,
you know.

Speaker 4 (02:53:49):
A chardon eg.

Speaker 1 (02:53:50):
Yeah, what's this? If I were to say, because I
hear people order like give me a reasling or like
I know those sweet wines things like that is a
very dry one, a dry.

Speaker 3 (02:54:01):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (02:54:02):
Like I like champagne. Is that Is that not dissimilar
to white wine?

Speaker 1 (02:54:06):
Is it?

Speaker 4 (02:54:06):
Like it's just like a brute champagne.

Speaker 3 (02:54:09):
It is white wine. It's just a sparkling wine. And
you know, alan it can only be from the Champagne
region of France in order to be considered a champagne.

Speaker 1 (02:54:20):
Otherwise it's just a sparkling.

Speaker 3 (02:54:23):
Wine, all right. Well okay, well then I guess I
do like. Yeah, if you like champagne, you have a
glass of white wine. It's gonna taste very similar to you,
depending on what you get. Okay, well, no, I know I.

Speaker 27 (02:54:39):
Loved the good Savvion Blanc. What savvion blanc?

Speaker 14 (02:54:44):
What?

Speaker 3 (02:54:44):
What did I say it wrong? I don't know what wine?
What type of wine?

Speaker 1 (02:54:52):
What did he say? Said savvyond?

Speaker 6 (02:54:58):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:55:00):
Last thing I drink before I got Soper was a
Savignon blanc, A couple of bottles, probably like Savion Glover.

Speaker 4 (02:55:07):
That dancer, bring in the noise, bring in defunk?

Speaker 3 (02:55:12):
Was that him?

Speaker 4 (02:55:13):
Soauvignon, there's an n in there?

Speaker 22 (02:55:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:55:16):
Sure, you don't need to order it anymore. So it
really doesn't matter. We're just breaking your balls.

Speaker 27 (02:55:21):
A little bit unless it's non alcoholic.

Speaker 1 (02:55:24):
An na sauvignon is really good. Uh yeah, I do
not know that stuff. So the guy, I assume that
the caburn, the cab is the red Sauvignon, Is that right?
Sauvignon blanc Is white cabernets. Okay, anyway, listen, I have

(02:55:47):
friends that are boy, they will there. They firmly believe
that you can pick up all these notes and things
and their tongue. And I'm like crap.

Speaker 3 (02:55:56):
I was at Costco last week.

Speaker 1 (02:55:59):
Oh, oh, good for you.

Speaker 3 (02:56:01):
I saw the hand go. I was at Cosco last week,
picked up a whole bunch that they had a oh
good for you.

Speaker 18 (02:56:12):
So much?

Speaker 3 (02:56:14):
Uh they have that when you buy it?

Speaker 4 (02:56:16):
Is this a Kirkland signature red?

Speaker 14 (02:56:18):
No?

Speaker 3 (02:56:18):
Oh no, no, they have well, they have everything they do.
Actually they do make, well, they don't make. They put
their label on wines. They negotiate these ridiculous deals on
a big level to put like to make their signature wine.
Say right like the cab or the name it, there's
a Kirkland version of it. And they they're dealing direct
with vineyards to buy the stuff. You know, so you're

(02:56:40):
not you're not buying trash when you buy their stuff.
There's actually some really good stuff out there, if you
know what you're looking for. I don't I like Italian reds.
If I'm going to probably pick my favorite, so I
always I'm.

Speaker 1 (02:56:54):
From the Tuscany region.

Speaker 3 (02:56:56):
Actually I don't love the Tuscan. I'm a big, big
fan of the Barolo. Those are the two that I
or brew Nello. Is that what you're saying. I thoroughly
enjoy those varieties of wine. Yes, I love uh so
anytime I see them, I buy it. So I bought.
I bought a case while I was there, and you
get a discount if you buy a multiple. You know,

(02:57:17):
if you buy a case, you get a discount. So
I bought a whole bunch and stocked up my new wine.
Is the thing at the house I ran out of.
Out of wine is over the moves and stuff like that,
and they haven't bought it because anyone was moving again.
So I loaded up while I was there. It's great,
so exciting. Cannot wait start getting back in the drinking
wines out. What's the old tiny wine in the rope net?

Speaker 1 (02:57:39):
That's a kiyanti, nice kiante, beans a beans and a
nice piante.

Speaker 15 (02:57:46):
And now I must leave you as the Brady bunch
is on and I find four of those children incredibly arousing.

Speaker 1 (02:57:53):
Get out of it.

Speaker 21 (02:57:55):
Careful of what you say, Be careful in it every way,
Be careful of what you do. Big Brother is watching you.
Be circumspect and discreet, stay light on your mental feet.

(02:58:16):
One slip and you know you're through. Big Brother is
watching you.

Speaker 13 (02:58:22):
And with all narratives, remember Ovidios paid.

Speaker 21 (02:58:29):
And when you watch that davy screen, remember it works
both ways. You disappear in a wink. Unless you can
double think, you'll vanish into the blue. Big Brother is
watching you.