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June 12, 2024 172 mins
The Alan Cox Show
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(00:01):
The Federal Communications Commission has determined thefollowing content to be emotionally harmful. Funny
things that you thinks funny aren't funny. Jimmy Cox all the time. I've
me a cockshow kicksh man, Welcome, Welcome to me. What you I
can see a lot of cocks onTV. Allen Cox and the Allen Cono.

(00:22):
I don't know what it's about youby can stand? This will be
a pretty so let's take it.Coffee you get that, you've just eat
it with a nasty groove. Okay, what do three kakets? Take it?
Tom Damn? Put you one time? Take it? Allen Cox.

(00:43):
Here we go, he'll add,it'll be fine. It's the Allen Cox
Show on one hundred point seven doubleU M M as O. Hey,

(01:04):
what's going on? Everybody? Goodafternoon, high greeting. Welcome, welcome,
thanks for being here. If youhave decided to be My name's Alan
Cox. Say hi to Bill Squire. He's right over there. Hey,
you've your hopes. Mary Santora iswith us too, Aaron Manhattan. Are

(01:26):
you on all week this week?Yes, look it's true. I gotta
send you an email by next youwhat I said, I gotta send an
email about next week. Next week'sweird. Next week's weird anyway, because
I'm out Wednesday, and where we'reall Wednesday and then I'm out Friday.
So my sister and niece and nepheware coming to town Monday through Friday.
And I told him, I waslike, I can't take good for you.

(01:48):
I was like, I can't takethe whole week off because then the
next week I have shows and theweek after that we're out. So it's
it's we got to figure out what'sgoing on. I think I'll probably just
be out Monday so I can pickhim up from the air and get them
settled and stuff. I don't knowyet. Next week's a weird week all
the way around. What are yougoing to do with them? I don't
know yet. That's why I wassaying, yes, well it's hot,

(02:12):
dude, Yeah, spend a dayat the beach would be cool. The
like the around the town stuff,you know, statue of Liberty Central Park,
all that stuff. Things you probablyhaven't done. No, I did
it with Brian and Blake actually camebecause they came for her spring her spring
break in April. I see,so I'm like, I'm I'm fine doing

(02:38):
it, but that's it's it's freakinghot, dude, especially for kids to
be walking around all day and getwhiny. And also kid they're ten and
twelve, so they're not like superyoung. But I don't know. I
man, I've never been to theStatue of Liberty. All the times I've
gone to New York, I've nevergone over to the Statue of Liberty.
It's kind of overwhelming, like becauseyou here's so much about it. You've

(03:00):
obviously seen pictures, it's on youknow, it's everywhere, and you get
there You're like, dang, dude, this thing is freaking huge. The
day that we went, the insidewas closed, so we couldn't go like
up into the Crown and tour thatpart, which I definitely do want to
do. But it's dare I saymoving we were they well, I can
understand that. Would they close theinside there to like host it down or

(03:22):
where they go? I have noidea. We just got there and they
said, hey, you can't go. We can't go up in the Crown
today. I see they want tooffer a lot of explanation. We don't
have to tell you nothing, allright, you just can't go up in
the Crown. Is that okay foryou? Sorry? Tourists, I could
say, Louis when the arch isclosed, it's like that's the only reason

(03:43):
people come here. What do youmean it's closed? I mean I can't
get up in there. Yeah,okay, No, I've never gone out
to the Statue of Liberty. Wellthen then maybe this next time go out
there and maybe the Crown will beopen. That's what I'm saying. That
would definitely be a cool thing todo. They want to see obviously Times
Square, but like Times Square isnot something that takes all day. Like

(04:06):
you go into Times Square and youtake a couple of pictures and you're like,
that's Times Square, you know whatI mean? Store? Yeah,
yeah, So I don't really knowyet, huh. I heard that the
guy who owns the Comedy Seller boughtthe McDonald's around the corner he's turning in.
I heard that too, that theywere going to turn it into like
a fifth room or something, becausehe's already got half that block, doesn't

(04:27):
he mm hmm, Because he's gotthe restaurant upstairs and then the original comedy
Cellar, which is directly underneath therestaurant. The restaurant is called the Olive
Tree on mecdougle Street, and thenaround the corner they have their biggest room,
which is called the Village Underground,and then next door to that is
a bar that they turned into acomedy room called the Fat Black pussy Cat.

(04:51):
And then behind that is a littlelounge called the Lounge at the Fat
Black pussy Cat. So they alreadyhave complex. Yeah, it's like hilarities.
Yeah, except in New York City. Yeah, but still, I
mean for a place like Cleveland,you know, Nick's got quite the complex
going. Yeah, yeah, forsure. Well and probably twice the square

(05:13):
footage and uh a fraction of theprice. Right. Well, it is
funny though, how that place blewup, because you know, thirty years
ago, if you went to theComedy Cellar, it was kind of like
you might see somebody, you know, and that was like on a Thursday
night. Maybe. Now what theygot four shows every night of the week.
They have four rooms. Every nightof the week. They have like

(05:34):
each room has four or five shows. Yeah, they probably have I'd say
at least ten shows a night,crazy, and they're all sold out every
single show, every single room,every single night, So it's crazy.
Yeah, it's a bigger deal inthe eighties comedy boom for them. Yeah,
well that's very exciting. And thenthey also don't they also have a

(05:55):
club in Vegas now too? Yeah, yeah, they have a comedy sell
in Vegas. Is it the comedyDesert? Did they rename it? No?
You have you you haven't gone outthere to do that. No,
I'm not passed there yet. Oh, you only get one. You get
passed in Vegas, but not inNew York. No, you have to
be passed everywhere, so you onlyget one audition. It's five minutes.
It's the same show, the samehost, and the same time slot.

(06:18):
So nobody can complain and be like, well I was on the ten clock
and I did get it. Youknow so, But if you don't get
passed, this could be here.Say, but this is what some other
comics told me. But if youdon't get passed on your first audition,
they make you way three years threethey are true? Or if that's just
what someone was saying to scare me. But I have not auditioned there yet.

(06:39):
Is it because you're scared? Yes, because you well, but but
I bet it wouldn't be hard tofind out if that was true or not.
Yeah, I mean, I don'tknow. I'm also scared because it's
like a big deal where it's like, you know, this is it's the
mecca, it's the place. Butthat's why you went to New York.
It is why I went to NewYork. That's true. I did want
to get my grounds a little bit, you know, with a scene and

(07:00):
doing shorter sets. And it's onlya five minute audition, you know.
So have you ever done a setin shorts? Um? Not? I
were born a dress a couple oftimes. I don't know about shorts don't
count, so then no, probablyI mean like big Billowie knee length cargo
sham Sandler shorts. No, Ican say, no, big long,
wavy basketball shorts. Wavy, butyou know they're like floppy. Uh Sandler

(07:26):
walks around the guys who like thegiant basketball shorts. I don't know why,
but yeah, that's what they like. No, I have not Okay,
usually jeans, well, that makessense. Has Mary been to the
Nexus of the Universe first in FirstStreet? That's some nerd reference. I'm
not hip too. I have noidea. What if he sounds super excited

(07:46):
to see you. Hey, what'sup? Remember he is a big performer
as a broadcaster. He's real good. Alan Cox on one hundred point seven
double mms. Well you got onepast me. It's not gonna happen often.

(08:09):
Every once in a while it will. That's what I get for being
so snarky so early in the show. Nexus at the Universe is a Seinfeld
reference? Oh I know, right, and I didn't get it. That's
when Kramer's lost going to visit hisgirlfriend. Well what street are you on?
Okay, I'm on first and firstlook in the same street intercept with

(08:33):
itself that must be at the Nexusat the Universe. Just wait there,
I'll pick you up, and Pramer, stay alive, no matter what the
cars, we'll find you. Yeah, well there you go here. They
were trying to be funny with me. They were trying to have fun,
which is what we're here to do. They were trying to engage with Captain

(08:54):
fun and I didn't get it.My apologies, I'm not going to get
them all, and that one wentpast me. I gotta say that's not
one of my favorite episodes either.If I'm gonna miss a Seinfeld reference,
I'm not completely surprised that one,the one where Kramer's dating a girl like
in another part of the city andhe re first to a long distance relationship

(09:16):
and then he gets lost. It'sbeen wild to see Michael Richards do all
of the press he's been doing forhis memoir because he has been so voluntarily
out of the public eye for along time, and to come back because
you have to you have to doall that press. It's been very,
very strange, and he's been obviouslybecause these are things in the book.

(09:37):
You know, he's been very candidand open about, you know, his
voluntary removal of himself from show biz. And if he hadn't done it,
show biz would have done it forhim for a while. But he always
kind of had a by his ownadmission, he always seems like a quietly

(10:00):
angry guy. If you watch anyof those Seinfeld bloopers, Michael Richards is
always the guy who was not havingfun when somebody flubbed because he wanted to
do it the way it was supposedto be done, and he wanted to
stay in at the mindset everybody elseis cracking up and having a good time,
and he would he didn't really havetoo much fun with that. So
it's been a while to see himdo all that. Press Guardians over the

(10:24):
Reds last night. That's only thefirst of two. They'll play him again
tonight at the Great American Ballpark,so Sonati five to three was the final.
Last night. Seven to ten isthe second game before they head up
to Toronto to play the Blue Jaysthrough the weekend, and then on Tuesday
they will be back to host theMariners at Progressive Field. Dude got tased

(10:46):
last night. Yeah, at theballpark. He ran out to the field,
did a backflip, and then gotdates. Yeah, and he's got
to go to court over It waswatching one of Channel five, I guess
through it to up Cincinnati affiliate talkingabout it. The Reds are losing.
He's like, what do I haveto lose, jumps onto the field and

(11:09):
approaches a Cleveland Guardian's player. Iwant you to see this video and I'll
walk exactly through it. This isnineteen year old William Hendon. Runs over,
tries to give a fist bump tothat guy, and he sees a
cop running at him. He stopsto do a backflip, kicks that officer's
taste him, worry the officer asecond to pull out his taser and hit
him in the back. That youcan see back up there he's the players

(11:30):
in the background just standing their handson their hips, like come on,
get this guy off here. Therehe is again another angle talking to the
Cleveland Guardians player. He's wearing aJohnny Bench jersey. And it's hard to
tell, but I just saw someslow motion video of this. He's just
wearing his white sox. No shoeson. This guy, William Hendon.
He was taken to the Hamilton CountyJustice Center. He was booked within an

(11:52):
hour of this incident. I wonderif they have stadium jail there in Cincinnati.
I gotta tell you, I feellike it was I was either miss
understood it or was kind of soldthe bill of goods because the article,
the articles that I saw kept referringto the guy as a streaker, and
I guess I'd think of a streakeras somebody who's running around naked. Is
that not the case? Can youclothes on? And that's what I always

(12:13):
thought. Maybe, you know,with words change over time, and now
maybe just anybody running out on thefield they're consider a streaker, I guess
so, but yeah, usually it'sa naked guy run or naked person.
And so when I fired up thevideo, I was like, Oh,
they're going to have to blur thisguy out. They tased him buck naked,
No, he's running around. We'rein a Johnny bench Jersey tase the

(12:35):
dude. Are you telling me?There's two cops out there, and I
know they want to get the gamegoing, I understand, and path of
least resistance is to just zap thedude and get him down. But chasing
round for a little bit tackling.Maybe it's considered more humane to zap him
and let him fall of his ownvolition than I have to deal with some

(12:58):
kid who was running out out ontothe field in the first place. I
think, screaming that he got assaultedby the cops. He just wasn't gonna
get cut that that cop probably wasn'tgoing to catch him. Yeah, he
didn't look like he was in tiptopshape. Criminal trespassing and obstructing official business.
He pleaded not guilty. He's asophomore at Ohio State University and is
the grandson of a former Hamilton CountyJuvenile Court judge. I wonder if we'll

(13:24):
get home fixed. I wonder communityif he has any connections whatsoever. I'm
gonna go out there, and ofcourse he's banned from the stadium. Josh
Naylor hitting his seventeenth homer fifty RBIsyeah, doing real good, so good
Game two of the Ohio Cup seriesas they call it the Ohio Cup.

(13:50):
That's what a lot of those playersput into their uniforms too. My sister
was at the game the other dayand she texted me and she goes,
is Josh Naylor hot? She's like, I can't tell. I was like,
he's like a chubby douchebag, soyes, yeah, why is he
a douchebag? Heh he's very braggadocious. Oh yes, yeah, he's out

(14:11):
there killing it. I know.It's the guys who are It's the guys
who are bragging all the time anddon't have anything to back it up.
Like, he's good at what hedoes, which makes him a little bit
more attractive, and he is cute, and then he also is a little
bit I mean, he's got alittle ego about him. And I was
like, yeah, so that's exactlymine and your type to my sister.
Oh, this wasn't a negative.This was that these were all like,

(14:31):
this is why he's hot. Hewas explaining it because she's like, I
can't he's not like really traditionally attractiveor what I go for. And I
was like, oh no, no, hmmm, because if you just look
at him, it's not that hot. Well. He also he's not just
like he's weird because he's got likeblue eyes, but he's Canadian, and
then he's biracial, biracial, andso like he's just like a you're just

(14:54):
like, what happened. There's somethings going on with it, dude,
But he kicks ass. Yeah,keep doing what you're doing, Josh,
there you go. Also, Ilove that he's kind of a chunky dude,
but he still hustles so hard.Yeah, he beats out throws to
first base all the time because they'relike, oh, we got this fat
guy. He's gonna make it thefirst base before I throw them out.
Then boom again and again. Hehustles through plays and uh just gets it

(15:18):
done. By the way. Iknow it's in our sports reports, and
I think Stansbury might have mentioned ittoo, but I have been remiss in
mentioning that the Cleveland Monsters are onegame away from the Calder Cup playoffs.
They came back from like a threenothing deficit. So if you're a hockey
fan, and I am, we'rejust Cleveland sports in general. Cleveland Monsters

(15:41):
are in Hershey tonight and if theywin, they're back in the Calder Cup
championship game, which is very excitingbringing to the trophy to Cleveland. Why
not? That's part of the streakervideo. So he says, how disinterested
Steven Kuan looks. Yeah, thoseguys just want to get back to playing
the game. None of those guysare ever gonna be like, yeah,

(16:02):
there was a guy on the field, this is great. I just want
to get back to playing the game. A lot of messages on the iHeartRadio
app in the after hours line fromour conversation yesterday that went a little longer
than I had anticipated about Finn Lizziejust playing around, and Mary went,

(16:22):
I did not go that hard.I just said they weren't good. You
went in on the band, Youwent in on anyone who might like the
band. Is not what I said. You said. It reminds me of
a bunch of fat dads. Inever said fat. I said they were
bad dads. I think fat isimplied. You're saying bad dads who are

(16:44):
in amazing shape ignoring their families areignoring their families because they're going to the
gym too much. Yes, ah, actually, all right, then I
sit corrected. Mary lives in NewYork now, and her boy is out
of town or not in town whenshe's in New York. So when she
or when he comes to New York, her boy is back in town,

(17:07):
in her town in New York becauseshe's in New York and he's in wherever
y'all are, So her boys outof town. Oh all right, it
sounds like you yeah, yeah,just I don't know that that's a reason
you should like the song. Imean, she's explaining the etymology of it,

(17:30):
I guess. But if you liveit, Yeah, if you live
it, you should like it.Huh. Well, so a lot of
other people agree with you too,so you're you weren't alone. I kind
of have to side with Mary onthe whole Finn Lizzy, uh wame situation.
As soon as I heard karaoke withthat song, I instantly started thinking

(17:53):
of a corporate party that I wentto back in the early two thousands with
a bunch of drunk guys that thoughtthat they were hot shrimped because of their
positions making forty five thousand dollars ayear as middle man. Off it anyway,
let me buy sounds like a lotof baggage. It goes into how
you guys process us, I'm saying, and again, one person singing or

(18:18):
like one group of guys singing thesong is what you immediately think of when
you hear the song. I justthink of all the good times, every
good time. Well, but alsoyou know, obviously music is very emotional
for people, and so any songanyone here is that you might love,
somebody else goes it's the worst thingI've ever heard. So it's obviously we
all know where that's coming from.But he that was a very specific,

(18:41):
very specific anecdotesy and like throwing stonesfrom a guy that doesn't have a good
phone. I mean, you hearthe buzz on that thing. But also
a guy in middle management making fortyfive grand, he's looking for things to
be happy about. Let him behappy, right, He's jamming out to
then Lizzie like I'm making forty fiveyuck and yums man, and also like

(19:04):
what year were they making forty fivegrand, because it sounds like it was
a while ago, and when makingforty five grand a year is middle manager
was probably doing pretty good. Well, unless it was the fifties. I
mean, heyes, six seventies.If you're making forty five grand a year,
I mean, if you're making fortyfive grand a year in the nineties,
you're doing okay. Oh yeah,yeah. Look at the comparison to

(19:26):
like yesterday's dollars to today's dollars.Yeah, there's things like if you were
making like fifty grand, that's likemaking two hundred grand today in costins.
Well, I remember when my exwife and I were both in radio.
We were both at the same radiostation. She was on she was the
female on the morning show, whenI was on in the afternoon, and

(19:49):
both of us combined we were makinglike almost sixty grand a year. And
when Pittsburgh called me, they offeredme forty eight and so she was very
she didn't want to move, andI said, well, I'm trying to
advance my career here and making ajump in market size and stature from Kalamazoo,

(20:12):
Michigan to Pittsburgh was a massive jump. I was going to skip all
kinds of small and media markets,and I said it's worth the pay cut,
and she was very, very resistantto it. I really had to
work to a convince her that itwas the right move because she wouldn't have

(20:33):
a radio job we got to Pittsburgh. I would, and so there was
that element of it. And thenof course she came to the conclusion that
she was kind of tired of doingradio anyway. So if we had stayed
and she had come to that conclusion, of course I would have probably been
very resentful about it. As itturned out, I gave her so many

(20:56):
more reasons to resent me down theroad. That it is that even Stephen
is that is that the definition ofeven Stephen? I don't know. But
listen, if you're dancing around andyou hear a song at a corporate event
or otherwise that you love because you'reat the mercy of the DJ. You

(21:17):
know this all started because Bill sangit at karaoke at the Treehouse the other
night. You're not at the mercyof the DJ karaoke. You are the
DJ. Hey play a song forme. But when you go to an
event, you're at the mercy whateverthey're playing. So when people stand up
and they go, oh, Ilove this song, you get out there
and cut a rug? Does thekids still say cut a rug? Most
of them? Yeah, all thetime, Pretty sure that they still did

(21:40):
one stuck around. Uh huh.Well, I went away for like two
years and then came back. Fiftydollars a year in nineteen ninety would be
making like making one hundred and twentythousand dollars. No, way, that's
true. I double it on theinternet. It's gotta be right double.
Sorry. Yes, I thought he'sa ninety for utter, he said nineteen
ninety, and I thought he'sa inninety anyway, No, fifty to one
twenty Yeah, I mean that wasthirty four years ago, I guess.

(22:06):
But it's not like wages have increasedalong with Well, that's what I'm saying.
That's right. Everybody goes, ohin today's dollars. Yeah, nobody
gets paid today's dollars compared to thosedollars. If someone was making forty five
K in the nineties, they're probablydoing okay compared to you know, making
forty five K, now, canWell, all I know is I was
making forty eight in nineteen ninety nine, and I could barely keep my head

(22:30):
above water. So who knows?Two camels escape from the Cedar Point petting
Zoo. I don't know if that'sthe right way to put it. See
this, it was on TikTok.Yeah, yeah, running around, we
find this for you here they're goingcrazy. Yeah. So I didn't even

(22:52):
know they had camels at Cedar Pointand I'm in that camp. I didn't
know they had camels at Cedar Point. On and around. I get some
explotives in these Cedar Point videos withyou, They're like, hey, which
way is the slushy stand man?This camel looks so happy to be out

(23:15):
trying to get the hell out ofhere. Look so much room for activity.
I'm trying to find my family.It's up. He's like, hey,
where every go? Well, congratulationsto those camels, and I hope
that they found the main gates andwere able to get back out onto the

(23:38):
highway there, where they would subsequentlyprobably get hidden killed by passing cars.
Be great if they just like wentover to the grill and chill there.
They got out of the barnyard,which is what they call the petting Zoo,
but were quickly returned. Nobody gothurt while the camels were out,

(23:59):
although one of them nearly kicked aman in a motorized wheelchair. So one
of the other videos does have someI'll show it to you, but I
won't air the audio because apparently it'sgot some explotives. But here, watch
this. The camel's running around andthere's a guy right There is no shortage
of motorized wheelchairs at a place likecitter Point, and this thing, you

(24:19):
know, after the initial blush ofit getting out of its pen, probably
got a little nervous and starts lookat that. He's hopping around, and
the guy in the motorized wheelchair islike, man, that was a lawsuit
waiting to happen. He's like he'strying to move into it. Like yeah,
He's like, I'm already in amotorized wheelchair. It probably wasn't a
wheelchair. That looked more like oneof those things that card. Yeah,

(24:41):
you're right around in if you're immobilizedto some degree. But well, there
you go. I guess all's wellthat ends. Well, Mary got fifty
to fifty on the thin Lizzy thing. But who knew, you know,
who knew it would be so controversial, the late great Phil Lennett from you

(25:03):
know, people talk about Oirish rockstars and everybody thinks of you too,
and things like that. But you'llfind quickly that way more people in Ireland
love Phil Lynnett than love Bono,and maybe that's the way it should be.
Remember the second time we went toDublin for the show, Corey Roddick
was with us, and he andI walked over to the bar call the

(25:26):
Bursel's, and right outside there isthat classic Phil Lennett statue in bronze,
and the very exciting time, speakingof Ireland. One of the great joys
I've ever had on this program wastalking to Henry Winkler. It was a
long time ago. He's been onthe show a couple of times, but

(25:47):
it hasn't been for a while,and he just ended up randomly being the
guy they talked to on the streetduring a hotel fire evacuation. It was
the Shoreham Hotel. I think thehotel that we've stayed at in Dublin's called
the Fitzwilliam. It's right across fromthis huge park called Saint Stephen's Green,
and right around the corner is thishotel and they've got people on the street

(26:11):
as they're you know, they gotthe news cruise and things, and they've
got talking to people who were filingout of this hotel because fire alarms had
gone off, and Henry Winkler endsup being one of the guys they're talking.
When I heard the fire alarm,I thought it was the clock radio.
I thought somebody had set the alarmbefore we got there, you know,

(26:32):
and like another guest. And finallyI went into another room and it
was still buzzing. So I calleddownstairs and the woman said, in a
very calm voice, I guess we'reroll ebuctuating. You must evratuate right now.
And I left. Well and tellyou I saw you king. Do
you know what? How wonderful firemenare some of my favorite human beings.

(26:56):
Firemen and fire women. They runin when other people are running out.
I think they deserve to be shot. Came last night. Our plane was
delayed in London for about three anda half hours. So this morning we
got up and evacuated and it wasan amazing adventure right here in Dublin.

(27:22):
I cannot wait to see the restof Dublin. Was there a nicer guy
than Henry Winkler. Do they knowthat's who that was? Oh no,
I don't know if they did initially, but then obviously they were like,
oh I'm sure. Yeah. Atfirst they probably just thought it was an
old dude. Yeah. Yeah.He's in Dublin promoting his memoir. It's
called Being Henry, The Fons andBeyond. I got to get him back

(27:44):
on. I want to get himback on and talk to him about the
book because he writes a lot ofchildren's books. He's obviously got a lot
of grandkids, but just the nicestdude, you know. Instead of being
upset, he's like, oh,the firemen are great. Uh, I
can't wait to see everything else inDublin. Fantastic. The Henry Winkler Arrested

(28:07):
development Alum, he was on Barrymost recently, right, people who watched
Barry is great? Who was heon arrested Development? He wasn't Bob loablah,
No, he was the guy whoneeded to be picked up. Or
that was Martin Short, No,that was Martin Short. He was the
lawyer before Bob bla bla. Barryzucker Corn. Oh, that's right,
Barry Zuckercorn was. There's some momentwhen he microwaves a ding dong in the

(28:33):
aluminum rapper and it explodes and hejust goes and like they're all like looking
at him, and he goes.I really wanted that a moment. Our
old boss here not in the house, but one of our regional vice presidents
was a gentleman named Jean Romano,and he and I go way back.

(28:56):
He was my boss when I firstwent to Pittsburgh, and he became like
a corporate guy for Ihartney. Hestill is. We're just not part of
his territory anymore. And every timesomething would come up and I would mention
his name to my wife, she'dalways think of Jean Parmesan, says,
I can never remember his name,is it Jean Parmesan? Because that was
Martin maull On arrested development And he'dalways show up out of nowhere and freak

(29:21):
Lucy all out, and she'd beso excited to see Jean Parmesan. He
would just turn around, he'd bein a sombrero and a mustache, and
oh, she'd always be so excited. The late great Jessica Walters. But
Martin mall is still alive, isn'tMartin Maull from Shaker Heights or something,
north Ridgeville. Born in Chicago,moved to north Ridgeville. Summertime means bears,

(29:45):
barbecues and fishing the occasional drunk friendout of the lake while he searches
for his arm. Why party youfind that he's the Alan Cox show and

(30:18):
ranging loot can't remember switch Foot,Yeah, at least the song. Still
hear that every so often. Bangers. They were a Christian rock band that
had a bunch of songs in whatwas the Mandy Moore movie twenty years ago,
Save Me, Walk to Remember,Walk to Remember. Well, there

(30:41):
was another one where she was playinglike a evangelical and it was like a
paired Oh I don't know about that, but she did a Walk to Remember
and there was a whole bunch ofSwitchfoot music in that movie. They had
already won Grammys like Gospel Rock Bandand stuff, so they were a big

(31:03):
deal on that Christian rock circuit andthen Saved And then after that Mandy Moore
movie, then major labels came callingbecause they were like, well, it's
not overtly Christian, it's just aggressivelypositive, and because the guitarists in the
sing are something. Their dad rana megachurch in California, so they were
a big deal on the Christian rockthing for a while. And then they

(31:26):
had like one big album and they'restill doing stuff, you know. But
they had already amassed pretty good followingamong the Jesus kids before they got the
major label gig. But so anyway, switch Foot I will have They had
a couple of songs. It wasthe other big song they had, This
is Meant to Live? And thenthey had what was he Oh, dare

(31:49):
you remember? Dare you to Move? Mousic it's what us? This is
grocery? Is it really? Yeah? For sure, when you're trying to
figure out what pint of Ben andJerry's you want, you hear switch Foot
Meant to Live, after Life,Dairy to Move? Yeah, sure,
in between Maroon five and John Mayerdud John Mary was on in the airport

(32:13):
the other day and I was like, oh, this is just warming out
my wife. Did you have onehand on your bag and the other one
down your jeans. Well, Ididn't want to get banned, but so
I got home for the private Deltalounge. Yeah, man, this lounge
is at that private If you couldplease both hands on. You're not even
allowed to lay down in here.That the United Lounge. Sorry, I
have adulta lounge, very very secludedand private. Yeah, they got a

(32:37):
handful of handful of songs. Soanyway, switch foot. More tickets tomorrow
and tickets on Friday. What's today? Let's say? Yeah, yeah,
because we were out the hump daybecause of the camel's getting out at Cedar
Point. I'm just what's it calledtonight? The funny bus? All right,
the funny Oh that's fun yeah,fun though, third to last.

(33:05):
Mine is my second to last.Oh, your second to last? Yeah,
yeah, you got one more nextI'm doing next Wednesday, and then
Bill's doing the last one in thetwenty sixth next Wednesday. Sold out still
maybe some tickets for the last oneof the twenty six go to funnybus dot
net. Do you know who yourcomedian is yet? Darje On tonight?
Okay, which is fun because Ihaven't I've known darje On for a while,
but I haven't got to do afunny bus ride with him. Yeah,

(33:28):
I'm excited about that. I hadhim a couple of rides ago.
Nice dude, A talented dude.He's a comedian and an actor and he'll
get you know, gigs at PlayhouseSquare doing different stuff. Oh yeah,
So I'm in a Big Lots commercial. Oh yeah, yeah, that's made
me go big Lots eh man.I got to get a commercial. Married

(33:49):
did Applebee's. That dude did BigLots Bill. You're in the commercial for?
Is it commercial? You're in?Am I in a commercial? You
and I got to get commercial Acouple of commercials. I remember. I
remember I was offered a commercial andthen one of our old salespeople told me
not to take it because they're gonnaget me a deal. And they're like,

(34:09):
don't don't take that because then youwon't be able to do this dealership
deal that we're trying to get foryou. I was like okay, and
then that didn't happen. And thenI turned down this commercial that was going
to pay you like three grand.I was gonna say, burn the hand
man, don't turn something down justthey're going to get you something. I
learned that lesson. And then butshe gave me a record player cool her

(34:31):
basement. I didn't have one ofthose. Still well married to your point,
though, I bet more people sawthat on Facebook than they'd see it
on television. Yeah, that's true. And the girl that I did it
with is like got a huge following, so between her and Appleby's both promoting
it. Yeah, the comments centerare so funny because it's like Mary Mary,
Marry Mary. But then like,it's not the mean ones that are

(34:52):
funny, it's the ones I wasfocusing on. Well, but then the
people just like I went to ain nineteen ninety seven and they didn't get
me a refill in time, andI never ever went bad. That's all
it took. Dude. People areso petty about things like that, but
it's not even petty. It's justthat's petty. But life is inconvenience,

(35:15):
right, but they don't want tobe inconvenience. Well, none of us.
They go, well this, Ihad one minor bad experience and that's
that for me. So some peoplepull the trigger fast, one striking you're
out. Yeah. I think whenit comes to restaurants, and we've talked
about this, I think you gotto give them a couple of chances because

(35:36):
you can get anybody on a badnight. Now, if you're going to
like a chain, it's kind ofthat's all kind of mass produced anyway.
So if it's bad one time,it's probably bad another time. But there's
still there's all variations. And there'ssome people that they just love to complain,
but they want to complain because theygo, oh, when I complain,
they give me stuff. And ifyou've ever been with somebody that's like

(36:00):
that, I cannot be friends withthem. I can't, like I've had.
I mean, they put on socialmedia so that the brand hits them
up. And though they do that, like and there's people that like have
legit ripes down. I'm telling thatsomeone every time they go to a restaurant,
they complain while they're at the restaurant, don't Yeah, And it's just
like yeah, and you're just like, no, not not going out with

(36:24):
you anymore because they were hard toplease or they were specifically trying to get
stuff. Yeah, okay, Ididn't like the New England clam chowder.
I ordered Manhattan clam chowder and theybrought me New England. Especially if your
complaint is because you didn't get arefeel fast enough, that's the waiter or
waitress, not the establishment. Also, maybe you just drink the drink waste

(36:47):
too fast. Now those dollar ETAs. I'll slow down on the diet coke
mostly water, easy on the PEPSI. Hey listen it is There is great
news speaking of drinking. There isgreat news if you are a drunk teacher.

(37:10):
We talked about this case a whileago. People called police to report
that there was a woman who wasa teacher at an elementary school in California
who had driven drunk to her joband was teaching the second grade as a
fifty seven year old white lady,and she had a blood alcohol level of

(37:32):
point two zero, and she wasarrest ofer driving under the influence in child
endangerment. But they didn't They droppedall the charges basically what amounts to a
pile of technicalities. They said thatthat, you know, prosecutors are never
going to bring a case that theydon't, you know, reasonly believe that

(37:52):
they can win, because it's awaste of time and resources. And they
said that they couldn't determine whether sheactually drove drunk or got hammered when she
got to school. That's true.That's where we are now, by the
way, in the education system.Well, did she drink at home and
then drive to school or did shehave a bottle of jack in her desk,

(38:15):
teaching second graders, and then theysaid the child in dangermine charge didn't
hold either because they had no informationindicating that the kids were in any kind
of trouble or that. So theywere like, well, we don't know
where. All we know is thatshe was drunk at school point two zero

(38:37):
fifty seven year old woman in themorning, by the way, and they
said, obviously it's highly inappropriate,but it is not illegal to teach while
intoxicated. Now, I don't knowif this is an elementary technically public though,
like a public in tax Well,I thought maybe this was more of

(38:58):
a California thing and maybe on anational thing. You know, some states
can really vary with their their bluelaws. But I don't know. While
it's inappropriate to teach intoxicated, itis unfortunately not illegal. Now I assume
that the teacher probably lost her job, but she's not going to go to
jail because they had that is thatthe one who we played the video and

(39:20):
they asked the lady. They broughther in and they deposed her and they
were like, okay, did youshe's got her big drink with her.
Yeah, California's legal limit is pointzero eight. What's the limit in Ohio?
Point zero eight? Yeah, theybrought her in and Yuba City.

(39:47):
Isn't that a movie with Alison JanneyBig Doings in Uba City or something you
date on on Alison Jenny's filmography.Gosh, she's a TV report order,
breaking news in Yuba County is whatI was thinking. Anyway, that's now

(40:10):
again, I don't know. Lookinto it. If you are an educator
and a part or full time drunk, look into what the law is in
Ohio, because you can't necessarily justtake this and run with it. This
might be a Californy thing. Andso while it is still inappropriate yet not

(40:30):
illegal to do this, you're gonnawant to find out what the sitch is
here in the Buckeye State. Soafter a big long investigation, that woman
is not going to face any chargesbecause I don't know why. It feels
like people have had a whole caughta whole bunch of charges for less than

(40:52):
that. When it comes to littlekids, you know they'll fire your ass
if you try to talk to yoursecond grade class about a kid that has
two dads. Well it's Florida.Well that's a lot more than Florida.
I mean, Florida is the onethat gets all the attention. There's a
hell of a lot of states thathave that on the books. They'll fire

(41:13):
a teacher for if talking about gaypeople existing to little kids, children who
might have, by the way,gay parents. You're talking about Joey Chestnut.
Yesterday on the show, Sansbury andI were talking about before his show
was over, and that door mightnot be closed to him because he said

(41:34):
he found out on social media thathe wasn't being allowed into the Nathans thing,
which probably isn't true. It's probablyjust pr You got to know,
if you're pimping another brand, it'sprobably not gonna end will. But the
Nathan's people, they really want tobe in the Joey Chestnut business because who
else you have. There's no numbertwo and Kobashi he's retired, so it's

(41:59):
just like you had the Yin andthe yang literally and now Kobayashi's gone.
I don't know that they can standto lose a Joey Chestnut. How soon
you can do He said he wasgutted to find out. He was posting

(42:22):
on Twitter that he was gutted tolearn from the media that after nineteen years,
he had been banned from the competition. I love that Major League Eating
because they really want him back.Joey Chestnut is an American hero that's got
to make people feel good just daysafter D Day. Joey Chestnut is an

(42:45):
American hero. What did he do? He ate a lot of food that
takes care of the American part,not the hero part. Did he do
it to save other people from eatingit and poisoning them? So nope,
oh nope, this was not Thiswas not some kind of charity situation or

(43:06):
anyway. They offered him a lotof money sign a contract with Nathan's and
he turned it down, something likeone point two mil over four years or
something like that. He turned itdown because he signed a deal with Impossible
Foods to pitch that brand. ButNathan's goes, Hey, the door is

(43:27):
still open. We'd love to havehim back. Unfortunately, Joey and his
managers have prioritized a new partnership witha different hot dog brand, so now
they've got to be on the lookout. I don't even know who you know
who's directly behind Joey chestnutt in thecompetitive eating sphere. It's a major league

(43:53):
eating I think it's a pretty biggap. I mean, I thought there
had been a couple of up andcomers of the last few years, but
they were women. That's what thatsport needs, because a lot of times
these people are not they're skinny.They're just people who are genetically somehow predisposed.
And I know they have to train. Imagine that, oh I train.

(44:14):
It's it's there's never a hot dogoff season. But when they talk
to these people, they go,what do you do? And they go,
well, you got to really stretchyour stomach out and you got to
work on your esophagus kind of stuff. But some people are just genetically predisposed
to be really good at this,and every so often you'll see some just
super skinny, shredded girl who comesin and murders these competitions. There's a

(44:38):
girl that all run across videos ofher on Instagram where she's just doing these
challenges and they're like, like,I think she was at a Buffalo Wild
Wings and it was wing like bonelesswing day and they're like, what's the
record here, and they're like thirtyfour and she did sixty eight or something.

(45:00):
Okay, Yeah, just like alittle girl. An Asian girl named
Mickey Pseudo is the number one rankedfemale competitive eater. And again, these
aren't big people, so they've gotsomething going on where they You know,
obviously if you're thin, you caneat more, and you know, if

(45:21):
you're already big, that restricts yourstomach's ability to expand, Yeah, you
can't. It's kind of where togo. I was I don't know if
someone told me this or we weretalking about like competitive eating, and they
said one of the things that alot of these people eat is grapes because
apparently grapes, because of all thewater in them, expand your stomach a

(45:42):
lot. So one of the waysthat they train is not by eating like
mass hot dogs. They'll eat aton of grape Yeah. Well yeah,
you would have to train on anotherfood, right, yeah, yeah,
which is probably why they dunk thehot dogs in water too. I know
that's to like get them down,but well it's just that you had to
take the just the coefficient of frictionout, yeah that and also just make

(46:05):
the bread not take up as muchroom. Yeah. He hit the world
record in twenty twenty one when heate seventy six francs and buns in ten
minutes. This says the number twois a guy named Jeffrey Esper. He
finished second last year, always abridesmaid. He ate forty nine hot dogs,
which was thirteen fewer than Joey Chestnut. And so the people is associated

(46:30):
with Major League Eating are quote devastated. It'll be this is the guy's quote.
It would be like Michael Jordan sayingI'm gonna rep Nike and Adidas.
It just can't happen. Well,there you go. So the competitive eating
world in a very highlander type situationhere with Joey Chestnut when I love her.

(46:53):
The still shots, you'll never seea still shot of a competitive eater
where they look happy. They alwayslook like they're in immense pain because to
some degree they probably are. Butthere's a lot of money on the line,
so you get it. But youknow, when these people do these
championships, they're like, ugh,this is my life. I'm in Major

(47:19):
league eating. Hey man, ifyou're making millions of dollars at it,
you're doing okay. Sure. Yeah. If you're being referred to as the
Michael Jordan Major League Eating, yeahyou still do this guy shoes. But
they're like the diabetic kind, blackvalcro orthopedic. Yeah, extra wide.

(47:42):
He's got the compression socks as hisendorsement. Do you still do Chipotle commercials?
I haven't in a minute, butI do technically. They're ceo is
getting a lot of eye rolls frompeople. Did you read the story about
the CEO of Chipotle. It's nota bad looking guy, dude named Brian
Nickel. He is this CEO ofChipotle, and he did an interview with

(48:06):
Fortune magazine, and of course theywere bringing him mentioning people's complaints because Chipotle
has kind of not fallen on hardtimes, but they're not nearly as white
hot as they once were, andso different people have different explanations for that.
And anecdotally, a lot of peoplecomplain that somehow the portions have gotten

(48:27):
smaller. That shouldn't shock anybody.Of course, they push back and they
go absolutely not. But everybody,we all know that we're paying the same
or more for less, so it'snot a huge leap. But this guy
wanted to dispel that notion, andhe said, listen, usually all you've
got to do to get a littlemore food or a little extra scoop is

(48:51):
just give our employees a look whatyeah, he said, And most people
can get an extra scoop by givingthe employees a disappointed look. And people
are like, are you insane?I mean, when the CEO walks in,

(49:12):
you don't have to worry about anythinga disappointed look. First of all,
try getting eye contact with the personthere. It's not their fault.
It's an assembly line. They're justputting stuff on the plate or in the
bowl. Right. And nowadays we'veall seen plenty of video. Employees are
terrified someone's gonna jump them because hedidn't get enough corn or whatever. This

(49:36):
somebody's gonna leap over the glass.So it's probably just a defense mechanism.
The people who work in the serviceindustry in like fast food joints or places
like this, they're trying to minimizeeye contact with people. They're trying to
minimize communications. Tell them what youwant. So everybody was dunking on this

(49:58):
guy for saying that if you givethem I'm a disappointed and what is a
disappointed look? Because everybody's got adifferent one of those two. I've gotten
a lot of disappointed looks from people. Story of my life. I don't
know what my disappointed look is,and they might misread me my disappointed look

(50:20):
to the person behind the glass makingmy food. I might to them look
inappropriately horny. Those are the cheeseeyes. I don't know, and so
I don't want them to get thewrong impression. But this guy really brushed
off those complaints. But it's okay, you give me so anyway. If

(50:42):
you're one of those people who goesthere a lot to Chipotle and you've got
a similar complaint, you give thedisappointed look and it doesn't work, then
right the CEO go, hey,I tried that look. Thing didn't work
for me. Didn't work. Iordered a head but like still doesn't work.

(51:02):
But I always think of the peoplewho are back there working. Just
give them the Tim Robinson. Ialways thinking of the people are back they're
working. It's like I said,they're worried about getting jumped. People are
filming them all the time now andlook they put him out of burrito.
That's what it is. I'm like, Oh, I'm just trying to That's
what I've heard that an hour isto film them making your burrito, and

(51:27):
then they tend to give you moreyour filming while they're making it. Right,
But then you're gonna get yelled atby your boss because they're telling you
not to give people a ton.I know what they say, but they're
trying to stretch out what they've got. That's what every business is doing,
right, charge them, give themas little as you possibly can. And

(51:52):
these people don't want to get filmed. Well, the guy was filming me.
I had to give him three freescoops. We'll ask him tell them
not to film you. Yeah,that always works. So yeah, people
are you know, tweeting at theguy. Hey I did that head nod,
I got even less food because they'rejust that's not going to be good.

(52:15):
Yeah, could we just get themout of here quickly? So yeah,
these people half the time somebody comesin threatening to you know, stab
them or punch them because they don'tthink they got enough salsa or something stupid
like that. I don't know they'regetting threatened half the time. You don't

(52:35):
think fifty percent of the time isgetting threatened to be stabbed. You see
a line of people waiting, Yousee a line of people waiting. I'm
telling you, let's say there's twentypeople, half of them ten yes,
a full ten yes, yes.I stood there and I see the village

(52:58):
one where you go out. Wedon't have them around. Yeah, we
don't screw around. My Swiss armyknife comes out immediately as soon as I
walk in, because I don't knowwhich one of the which ten I'm going
to be, and I got tobe with my team. Walk in,
God, I go right into mypocket yees. Yeah. Anyway, there's
a little bit of food news forme. Alan cuts a drummer in the

(53:24):
real musician. He just makes anoise if he played the violin or the
piano, and that made sense.But the drums mms well, Fred Armison
behind the drums. He was theoriginal drummer for Seth Myers Late Night band

(53:45):
over there. Seth Myer's been doingLate Night for quite a while now.
But no one can escape the budgetcuts. And I don't know if it
was the drummer or the bass playeror something who dropped the info in Variety
magazine that NBC was blowing out thewhole band. And the person interviewing him

(54:07):
was like, are you supposed tobe talking about this? And he goes,
I don't think so. So NBChadn't even gotten the word out there
yet, And whatever person was doingthis interview with Variety Magazine, said,
yeah, we all the whole bandgot fired. It was a budget cut.
So you're doing a late night showover there at NBC. By the

(54:29):
way, it's not like you're onyou know, Fuse TV. You know,
it's seth Myers. It's the twelvethirty show after fallon, and they
got rid of the whole band tosave some money. And the guy's like,
you know, we had a greattime with ten years. We don't

(54:49):
have any ill will towards say.You know, everybody over there is great,
but this is what it is now. And he was talking about how
they're going to be recording some musicso that the show can still use them
as bumpers, which would be reallyweird if you're in the studio audience and
there's no band, because they're like, well, why huh if they're just

(55:13):
playing music, I think, well, I know, I'm just saying that
for every audience has only been thereone time most of the time, so
they're what do you mean they havethe same studio audience every week? Oh
no, no, I know.I'm just saying that people know that that's
like part of that experience when yougo to one of those shows there's a
band, but is if you've neverbeen and they're just like, hey,

(55:37):
we're just playing music, Like,I don't think you're going to have that
much of a different experience. Youdon't think so, not at all.
You're in the audience just seth.Yeah, and because you've never been to
it before. No, but I'msaying, people know what they do at
talk shows, right, but heygive it up for the band. Yes,
it goes back to the fifties,right, but if there's no But

(56:00):
if you've never been to an actualtaping and they still play music to play
them on and stuff like that,it's not going to be that big of
a difference. I don't, Iguess. I mean, but all I'm
saying is, you know, usuallythere's some interaction with the host and the
band. Colbert's got his band,Fallon's got the roots, you know,

(56:22):
and so it was probably like theshow where they don't have that, they
can't they can't fire the roots.The Daily Show doesn't has never done that.
Yeah, that's not a traditional talkshows show, but there's a lot.
I mean, it's not a newsshow, it's a it's a comedy
show. Well, you know,it's set up as a news but there's
you go to a if you gobe like if you went to Saturday Night

(56:43):
Live and there was no band again, I don't think it'd be weird.
I don't think it'd be that weird, huh, because you're not there for
the band. No, but youknow that's part of the experience. And
if you go to a late nightshow, you go, oh, there's
the host, the band is overthere on the riser. It's not gonna
change your life, but it justseems like if you were in the audience

(57:07):
from this point on, you gosee Seth Myers, it's him. Doesn't
do a mologue, hasn't for along time, so behind the desk,
and again these are tapes, sothey're not they don't air live, so
they do pickups every once in awhile, or he might come back out
or redo a joke, and thenthey chop it all together. So if
you've ever been in one of thoseaudiences, you really see how it's put
together. But for NBC to go, yeah, we gotta make budget cuts

(57:34):
again, I think part of ittoo is they go, look, people
are watching these shows, they're watchingthem chopped up on YouTube, especially Seth
Myers. Right, you're going toYouTube, you're watching his closer Look segments
he's on at twelve thirty. Idon't think people are staying up to watch
Seth Myers at twelve thirty. Mostof these shows now late night shows,
they're repackaged and clipped and put online. So it probably you know, but

(57:59):
I thought it was that they werelike, are you supposed to be mentioning
this? Because I don't think so. But they came to us a month
ago and said, well, thisis what's gonna happen. He was like,
okay, well we had a goodtime. It's fun. Seth does
this big called day drinking. You'veever seen day drinking or he just takes
somebody out and they get progressively drunker. He did it with Rihanna. That

(58:21):
was a really good one of fewyears ago. He's gone over with a
handful of people and he just doesa bit where they it's literally they go
out day drink and they go tothis they go to a bar that's been
shut down for them, and hegets behind the bar and they just,
you know, they have conversations,they'll do a little quizzes or whatever,
but they are getting progressively drunker,and he did Julia Louis Dreyfus the other

(58:43):
night. Who is Hollywood Hollywood drunk? Yeah, Hollywood royalty as far as
I'm concerned. But she's got apodcast, she's got a movie coming out.
It's a very very sad and dramaticmovie. Kind of a turn for
her. All r righty, it'sthe lighting round. I'm gonna ask you
a question. You either have toanswer, Jerry Seinfeld or Larry David Go

(59:07):
who would you want to go toprom with? Is there a third choice?
No? Larry? Really? Okay? Great? Would you most want
to pick out an outpha you hadto wear to the Emmy? Jerry?
Fascinating? Yeah, I always forget. She was on Saturday Night Live.
Was she on there for a while? No, she was on. She

(59:29):
left college to do it. Shewas twenty one, and she I don't
think she she had she was atNorthwestern. I don't even think she had
graduated yet. And she and BradHall, who weren't married yet. I
think they were dating when on SaturdayNight Live. No, she was kind
of one of the first women tospeak out about how it's not a very

(59:50):
at least for a long time wasnot a real supportive place for females.
That I think changed a great deal. But back in the day she was
on It, what eighty two,Like yeah, before Eddie Murphy or with
Eddie Murphy was like I thought shewas part of the class. After he
left, Okay, it's like GaryKroger her Bradhall. But she was just

(01:00:12):
a baby on that show and fine, But I just always forget she was
on it. You're a labor whodo you want hold in your hand while
you give birth? Myself, I'llgo like this, Yeah, Fair,
you're in prison. You get tomake one phone call Jerry. The three
of you are ething. It's gonnaget bad. I can feel it.
The bill comes, who picks itup? Me? Hey, everybody?

(01:00:36):
Then they're hammered. The favorite peoplein the world. Her name is Julie
d Dreyfus. I'm established that anyway, Well, I want to honor her.
Sounds like Mary Pegan way I had, you're Joe Joy Dreyfus. Well,
what a great ben. Hey,let's go get drunk for my show'd
be awesome, wonderful. Hang agame called Shatzi. You're gonna roll to
die and then whatever that they comeup, and I'm gonna poor both shots

(01:01:00):
into a glass and drink it.And I help you know that because I
love you. Sure, I rollit towards the wall, just like Yatti
and both oh at the same time. All right, we got we got
red Bull and MANI Chevis. Ohmy god, you're making a face like

(01:01:22):
you're afraid. I am a littleworried about your tummy. Why well,
I sense diarrheas on his way.Are you going to go to bed?
Now? What's your deal? Shot? Yeah, it's Mexican coke and white
claw. See if it's good?Good? Yeah, okay, thank you,

(01:01:54):
thank you. Wonder what that baris like those dark wood panel bars.
Love dark bars like old class andget a ton of those in New
York like Mcsorley's or you know,there's just old, old places you go
and it's dimly lit. Mary's notin them anymore. It shouldn't drink.

(01:02:15):
No, I don't spend a lotof time in bars. I like the
well that doesn't surprise me. Ijust like that vibe. You know what
I mean? Boy, what atime? I mean. On the one
hand, uh, mazel tov,congratulations on your continued sobriety. But boy,
what a double edged sword moving toNew York when there's so many great
bars and old pubs. I wouldhave moved home by now. I'd be

(01:02:37):
out of money if I was stilldrinking here. Oh yeah, oh,
you would have blown through it.Dude. It's so expensive, Like mocktails
here no alcohol are twelve dollars.Yeah, I'm surprised for that cheap.
Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, people don't be that because they mock
you when you pay for them.Yeah, it's part of the sucker.
This is so expensive. There's nobooze in it. Who drink water?

(01:03:02):
No, people don't bat an Iat twenty dollars cocktails? No, I
would. Hey, listen, funcosts you, and if you want to
get drunk, it ain't gonna becheap. You know, twenty bucks a
pop. You figure, let's saya random night, the average person five

(01:03:24):
drinks? Is that too much hunterbucks? Yeah? You think the average
person can drink five drinks over thecourse of an evening? Or is that
too if you're bopping around, poppingaround one place, maybe two or three?
Okay, But I'm not the rightperson to ask. No, But
but you you have I'm saying Iwould you have vast experience of your past
life in that regard, but notin a normal human moodent All right,

(01:03:45):
that's right. You were saying youwere like a blackout to me. Five
drinks is what you do at homebefore you go out. That's the that's
the pregame, right, So Idon't know how many regular people have a
few. I don't know. Yeah, Okay, hey, Alan, catching
up from Tuesday's podcast. You werejust talking about how you just find it

(01:04:08):
interesting how Kevin Space, even thoughit quit it from the charges, you
know, really hasn't been given asecond chance, or why people still don't
like him. I never heard itbrought up. Maybe I missed it about
him flying all over the world withBill Clinton and Jeffrey Epstein to absolute creeps.
I don't think anyone would try toargue that. You know, he

(01:04:28):
was recently in an interview saying,oh, I didn't know Jeffrey Epstein and
didn't know his issues yet also inthe same interview said, but I know
also didn't I didn't like him.I knew that because I felt he was
putting the president in jeopardy by havingall these young girls on our flights.
Really weird thing to say, whyare you on the flights if you're concerned

(01:04:48):
about young girls being everywhere? SoI think that's just a huge factor that
you may have forgotten about, butmaybe not by the show. Yeah,
I didn't. The Epstein thing withKevin Spacey didn't really sick with me,
because if there's anybody that you don'thave to worry about assaulting young girls,
it's Kevin Spacey. He was talking. He was talking about how he had
taken a plane with Bill Clinton toAfrica for some charity thing or some it

(01:05:15):
was some humanitarian thing. There's theClinton Foundation and whatever you think of Bill
Clinton, he does a lot ofthat NGEO humanitarian work around the world,
and Kevin Spacey had gone with himas a spokesperson for this trip. They
were going to Africa, and he'slike, we come to find out that
the plane is owned But he foundout many years later that the plane had

(01:05:36):
been owned by Jeffrey Epstein, becausehe was like, I couldn't figure out
why all of a sudden, Iwas seeing my name associated with Jeffrey Epstein
and he's like, I didn't knowwho that guy was. I didn't know
it was his plane. Big plane, right, And so yeah, that
was my thought was he probably didn'tknow who he was. People think that

(01:05:56):
every rich or famous person knows everyother rich and famous person if you're going
to get on their plane, right, But you know, there were It's
not like the three of them wereon the plane. There were a lot
of people on the plane. Andwhen I get on a plane, I
wouldn't go, hey, who ownsthis plane? I don't know. Maybe
he did, I guess, right. But again, if there's anybody you

(01:06:17):
didn't have to worry about with younggirls, it was Kevin Spacey, Clinton,
Trump, Prince Andrew all those otherguys, right, they were drooling
the whole time. But a lotof people's names got looped in with that
Epstein thing because he knew a lotof people, and he gave a lot
of people money. And that wouldhave to suck for anybody who was genuinely

(01:06:42):
not aware four years later to gowhat you know, like your people are
calling you, Hey, there's anarticle about Epstein and your name is in
it. You go, I don'tknow. So the Kevin Spacey thing,
I don't know. I think it'sweird. I don't think anything is really
going to come out of that interviewhe did. I don't think that's really
I think it's neutral. I don'tthink anything's gonna work for him, anything's

(01:07:04):
gonna work against him. I thinkenough people have forgotten about Kevin Spacey that
they're not obviously invested in it.But if a guy's like, we were
going to Africa and we're on thisguy's plane, it's probably a little naive
maybe on his part. But again, the reason that people don't want their

(01:07:24):
names associated with Jeffrey Epstein is becausehe's not known as a big time financier.
He's known as the guy that hadthe pedo Island, And Kevin Spacey
is not a guy who is goingto be flying to bang you know,
teenage girls. Alan, My wifeis a normal drinker, so two or
three. I'm more of a Meritallicadrinker. So eight is the minimum for

(01:07:48):
me? Wow, the minimum thisguy parties. He parties allan on the
same loaan. Who would have seenSteve Hawking on that list? Well,
again, Stephen Hawking was a guywho was getting That doesn't surprise me.
Just because the guy's a genius doesn'tmean he don't want to be around young

(01:08:11):
girls. Yes, I think itis because as he couldn't do any physical
physical limitations. Yeah, but Idon't know that he was limited in that
way. I mean, Stephen Hawkingcheated on his first wife. He was
limited in just how he had toget around and like having to have caretakers
with him. Yeah, so it'sthat's that's it was all a scam to
get laid by his caretakers. Alan, you have been described by your enemies

(01:08:34):
as evil, insane, manipulative.Who are you call? The Alan Cox
Show? Two want six seven eightone double oh seven four eight one double
oh seven. Yeah. I wasready think about how they are going to

(01:09:08):
be opening Cleveland city pools, butthey don't have enough lifeguards to make sure
that all the deep ends are open, so it's just gonna be people in
the shallow end. Uh. It'strue. The city has increased lifeguard paid
to fifteen dollars an hour, tryto get more kids. See, it's
tough even out where I live.You know, there's a giant pool out

(01:09:30):
where I live, and they havea hard time keeping it staffed because kids
are like, I gotta go tomy other job. You can be hanging
out here all day long. Mypool assume at your own wrists. Yeah
you got Did you dunk before theshow today? I did? Because it's
hot out there, isn't it.Uh? It was like seventy three when

(01:09:50):
I went out there, which isnot crazy, that's not pool weather.
But the pool seated, so itwas all right, Oh it is.
Yeah, look at this guy,Mary Pool. Now it's seventy nine.
Yeah, to be out there now, it's gonna be eighty five tomorrow.
Yeah, I'll go now where youget where you get back in after the
show today now because I have togo and do the Funny Boss on that
night to go to East End.So right, not enough time in the

(01:10:11):
day island soday? Many things todo? Right, all right? Tomorrow
before the show, I'll probably dipagain, and then probably again on Friday
and again on Saturday. On Sunday, all right, why not? Yeah?
Why not? Man, it's nice. It's gonna be nice to all
those days. Sunday's Father's Day?Will you be Do you engage in anything

(01:10:35):
for Father's Day? I got himsomething, but I don't know if I'm
going. I meant for you asa father's hope to the kids, all
right, they want to do somethingwhat'd you get your dad? Uh,
it's a book that you fill out. It's got prompts in it so he
can tell me some stories about hislife. Is this a story worth thing?
What is it called story worth?Let me see what's going I did

(01:10:57):
that for my mom. It's likea year's worth of uestions. Yeah,
something like that. And let meand then at the end you make a
book, you put some photos init, and then you like have a
book dictated by the person. That'skind of cool. Yeah. When did
it for her dad a couple ofyears ago. I'm like, that's a
great idea, Dad, I wantto hear your story there. Now,

(01:11:18):
how many chapters do you think willbe about him bullying you? Oh?
Most of them? Because he doesn'the's not gonna add notice. No,
I know it was passive, notactive, if I understand. So yeah,
give him this and see what hedoes he fills it out. Yeah.

(01:11:39):
Well, I have once more leftmy wife in the lurch with respect
to gift ideas. She's like,what can I get you? I go,
I don't need anything. Have Noradraw me a card or something,
you know. I'm like, Idon't need anything. I'm to be coming
back from New York, Western NewYork. I'm sorry yesterday I said upstate
New York, Western Salamanca. Yeah, so I become back from New York.

(01:12:00):
So was that people from Slamonca gettingmad or people upstate getting mad?
None got mad, they just ohdevotion accuracy. Yeah, didn't get mad.
I thought maybe the native Solomonkan's gottheir hackles. All. I'm not
sure. Oh, I just setupstate. And because I always think of
when I go to that area whenI was a kid, we'd always go

(01:12:20):
to Ithaca. Yep. And that'supstate, right, but it's still western
both a little something for everybody that'sup where Cornell is is up in Ithaca,
correct, you know? Yeah,So Cleveland public pools will be open
because last year people were complaining thatthe hours were all over the place.

(01:12:43):
You'd go to a public pool andit wouldn't be anybody there, and they
were like, well, we don'tenough people, and but that lifeguard situation
hasn't changed really, but they're like, all right, pools are gonna be
open, but you have to stayon this end. In LA, lifeguards
are paid thirty one dollars an hour. In Detroit, they had to close

(01:13:04):
the beaches due to lack of alack of help over Memorial Day, and
so who knows what the Cleveland publicpools will look like this summer. And
now they'll even pay you while you'retraining, how about that. But there's

(01:13:27):
a lot of a practice that goesinto that. So noon to eight Wednesday
through Sunday, that's your standard publicpool schedule. Deep ends will be off
limits this pool season. What constitutesa deep end though, is probably when
it goes probably want to go well, no, probably when it goes from
five to eight feet you know whereit starts to dip there. They'll and

(01:13:49):
they'll probably have it cordoned off rightthe had of thing there that don't go
past this, and they'll probably notbe able to enforce it. People do,
That's what I'm saying, Like,how they gonna, hey, hey,
get out of there. Yeah,nope, we if somebody's there,
obviously, yeah they could dive inand grab somebody. But it's the ones

(01:14:12):
that aren't staffed. That's why they'reshutting the deep ends off. Swimmers can
swim only at forty five minute intervalsto quote maximize customer usage. Yeah,
at our pool, there's like oncean hour. All the kids got to
get out so the adults can getin there and dick around. Right,
But this sounds like they're saying theykick you out totally after forty five minutes.

(01:14:33):
Again, I don't know how they'regoing to enforce that. Either you
must leave and they must leave andreturn to continue swimming. Well, oh,
there's nothing more fun than a summerafternoon on a pool schedule. But
that's but what are they gonna do. They're running city public pools. They
gotta do something. It can't bea free for all. That's how people

(01:14:55):
get hurt and the city get suedand people complain, even though technically it's
all at your own risk. There'sa sign right there, and it's pretty
exhaustive with the rules. Hey,no pooping in the pool. Uh,
it's a list of we can't believewe have to tell you this, but
here's what it is. Don't poopin the pool. Don't pee in the
pool. You know, it's likeyou go to somebody's house. They've got

(01:15:17):
that sign the ool. Please noticethere's no pee in our pool. You'd
like to keep it with, Yes, welcome to our ool. We'll play
on words. Mary I get it. Yeah, Ithaca is considered central New
York. All right, Albany's upstate, let's just right, Buffalo, Albanie,

(01:15:41):
whatever, But I'm living here.What do you want. You can
solve the whole problem by filling thepool with only eighteen inches of water here
you go. Yeah, but thenyou still have the problem that most people
drown in a few inches of water? So, oh, do you want
to take that responsibility on, siror madam. I don't think it's that

(01:16:04):
most people drown. I think youjust mostrown most few inches of water.
Yes, you're right, you can. You can physically drown in a few
inches of water. Most people probablydo drown in deeper water than that.

(01:16:25):
But even that, they're like,hey, most you've seen this. Most
shark attacks happen in just a fewinches of water. When you see those
dead like a dolls eyes, deadeyes like a doll's eyes up above the
water, that's how you know yougot trouble. And it ain't just Florida.

(01:16:46):
Obviously they're dealing with a lot ofshark attacks down there. But we
were on the Jersey shore a couplesummers ago. You could see the sharks
and wouldn't you know it. Ihadn't packed my harpoon gun when we drove
to Jersey, and so everybody's lookingat me, slow clap, thanks a
lot, Alan, I go,I didn't it's New Jersey. I didn't

(01:17:10):
know there were going to be sharksalong the shore, like all these people
that live here. Nobody's got toback up. Harpoon had to be me.
It's your job, dude. Theydidn't tell me it was my job.
Nobody informed me. They go,well, we heard you had one,
and so we assumed you were bringingit. I go, oh,
you know what happens when you assumeno one brings a harpoon gun. That's

(01:17:34):
right, It's exactly what I said. I said, what if I had
brought it but forgot the harpoon,we would still be in a similar situation.
But I do like the eighteen inchesof water pool solution. You know,

(01:17:56):
you're just out there having a goodtime. It's a broidering broday and
you are ankle deep, shin deepwhatever that is. Yeah, you could
splash each other if you listen oniHeartRadio on the app from out of state,
tell me where Justin he's up inBuffalo. Cynthia listens in Surprise,

(01:18:21):
Arizona, Brittany's in Mattawan, Michigan. Jake's down a West Palm Beach.
Hey Bill, I just pulled intoMiddleburg Heights and there's a giant sign that
says Wendy's is open late. Doesthat mean that I can get a breakfast
sandwich at like, say, oneam? I think that'd be pretty good.

(01:18:45):
Is that he wants directions from you? There no no breakfast turn breakfast
hours only, which they designate sixto ten am. See, that's the
trick. You have to designate itbecause a lot of people are having breakfast
for dinner, dinner for breakfast.I wonder why breakfast for dinner was considerably

(01:19:08):
more popular than dinner for breakfast.You don't no. I mean I've never
had it. A little breakfast lasagna. Even growing up, we would have
breakfast for dinner every so often,but that was you know, buckwheat,
pancakes and molasses. So no bigtreat. But dinner for breakfast that's considerably

(01:19:32):
less popular. I assume just becauseit's more labor intensive. Nobody wants to
get up and start grilling steaks orthrowing shish kababs on the You know whereas
breakfast for dinner, you go whatwas traditionally breakfast for dinner, just people
eating cereal RSA, pancakes, waffles, eggs, French toast. Soh you'd

(01:19:56):
make this stuff you'd normally make.Yes, Oh, well then maybe it's
an equal amount of labor. Idon't know. I didn't think people were
whipping up pancakes so that they werejust throwing some waffles in the toaster.
No. I usually if we didbreakfast for dinner, it was like a
pretty good breakfast. Yeah, Alansharks are extremely difficult to harpoon. That's

(01:20:17):
why you only really hear about usingthem with whales. Listen, that's what
I tried to tell them, right, But I'm like, I'm not a
sea captain. I just have aharpoon. And we had limited space.
We were going to be at theshore for a week. We had to
pack everything into this car, andI forgot the harpoon, and so yeah,

(01:20:43):
that was on me. I didn'tsee any whales out there, And
that's I guess on them too,that they didn't know that sharks are hard
to harpoon. I didn't know that. If that's true, I wonder why
they're difficult to harpoon too fast.Too fast, They're not that big,
so you gotta be real accurate.I get, I get the difference in

(01:21:05):
size. I'm just saying that ifyou can see one and you can lead
it a little bit, you mightbe able to. So the harpooning of
the whales is simply because there's moresurface areas. What you're saying, I
think so. Ah Well, anyway, the whole thing felt pretty stupid because
I had remembered my yellow slicker andit didn't carry the same gravitas when I'm

(01:21:36):
standing out there looking like, Iknow what you did last summer, but
I'm harpoonless, so I look likea real Putts. And I don't mind
telling you. It was a darkspot in an otherwise sunny and exciting vacation.

(01:21:56):
Now. And I like chili forbreakfast. Well, you know,
people go cold pizza. I don'tthink of that as dinner for breakfast.
I mean, I guess it is, but you ate it the night before.
It's leftovers breakfast for dinner. Dinnerfor breakfast is things you specifically make
them. You don't just go heyahead, you know, maybe you do.
What the hell do I know?I also don't like when people say

(01:22:21):
supper. It's a real pet paveof mine. I know it's at atymologically
correct, but I don't care forsupper. I like dinner. Somebody's like,
what time is supper? I leavetheir house. I hear somebody say

(01:22:41):
that, and you know what Ido on my way out, I forcibly
remove their mailbox if it's mounted tothe house, and I throw it in
the yard to get my point across, and they don't forget it, so
they go, hey, we're gonnahave sup I mean dinner. We just
got our mailbox affixed back to thehouse. We're gonna opt for a post.

(01:23:05):
But we knew you would just runthat over on your way out.
All And I like beer in mycheerios? Is that a true thing?
I mean, people mix things upall the time. People are like,
I use orange juice instead of milkin my cereal. You've never seen anyone
actually do it? But oh yeah, and then people say stuff, but

(01:23:29):
are they actually doing it or arethey just trying to get a reaction.
Well, they got a reaction outof me. Did you know what they
do when they talk to me aboutthat? I forcibly removed the mailbox from
their house. Who Yeah, that'sI hate to admit it. That's kind
of my go to move. Itis a federal offense, and I found
that out. You can get inmore trouble to that than you can shown

(01:23:50):
up drunk to teach a room fullof second graders. My daughter was older
daughter was in Colorado last week.She was in four Collins and that area
is she and some friends are visitinga friend of theirs who goes to Colorado
State. And she was sending mephotos because they went up to Estes Park,
which is where the Stanley Hotel is, which is the Shining Hotel.

(01:24:13):
Gwen and I stayed there a numberof years ago because The Shining is like
my wife's favorite movie of all time, and so we stayed at the Stanley
Hotel and my daughter was sending mephotos. I was like, oh my
god, that's awesome. You gotto go in there. And she's like,
we didn't go in. We're juston a hike and it's there and
whatever. And I said, we'llbe careful because the exact spot you are.
For some reason, people keep gettingstomped by cow elks right there in

(01:24:40):
Estes Park. Yeah, three peoplein eight days get stomped by these massive
animals. So I was just tellingher to keep her head on a swivel
because I know what's going on outthere. She and her friends, they're
too busy taking selfies. I said, he while you doing that, be
on the lookout for cow elk.She's like, what does that look like.

(01:25:03):
I said, it's probably big.Bring a harpoon gun, be prepared
to forcibly remove a mailbox from somebody'shouse. So there was an eight year
old riding her bike who got attackedby a cow elk. There was a
four year old. I don't knowif they're partial to children or maybe they're
just smaller and don't see them.You have to wonder how many animal attacks

(01:25:26):
are because they just don't have verygood peripheral vision and they just happen to
stumble across a child. But thenthird person was an adult wild card right
in the middle of downtown SS parkcow elk and you figure if you live
there, you know to look around. But none of these they weren't provoking

(01:25:46):
these animals, So I was justtrying to keep her mindful of what could
possibly go on there. It's adouble ed sword being amongst all of that
beautiful nature, some of it willtry to kill you. And you don't
know if these animals are just there, maybe they just had a baby.
You don't know that they're just protectinga calf. But you don't know that.

(01:26:12):
That's why, Like, if Igo home and i'm surveying the front
yard before I go inside, andI'll see a couple of squirrels or some
small wildlife animals, I'll give thema wide berth because I don't know if
they've just given birth. I don'tknow what they've got going on, and
I don't need some kind of animaljumping up at me like a cow elk

(01:26:33):
And if you've never seen one,you can see them from afar when you're
out there. They're giant animals.And it's because cows are so big and
elk are so big, and sowhen they mate, that's what you get.
And then the bull elk are evenbigger. But I just want to

(01:26:56):
make sure that my daughter wasn't gettingtrampled. Alan it was just mailbox Improvement
week, you monster. Well,yeah, I forgot about that, and
that's why, Yeah, I kindof put it out of my head.
But no, no, no,I'm talking about old mailboxes. I would

(01:27:17):
certainly i'd step aside. I wouldthink better of it had I come in
contact with someone's recently improved mailbox.Alan, there's nothing like a Caesar salad
for breakfast. Then you go intowork, you know you're you're cracking the
egg. You got the Worcester sauce. Oh man, put some coffee breath

(01:27:41):
on top of that. Man,you're set up for success. Nobody is
even going to approach you at work. That's a great, low key way
to keep your coworkers a safe distance. Hey, we're gonna go get breakfast
around the corner. No, no, I had. I had coffee and
a Caesar salad. I'm fine.I don't need any of that breakfast burritos

(01:28:04):
right now, Listen. I justas a kid, the only thing I
knew that something was really really commonis if even we did it growing up,
because there were so many things wedidn't do that if we did it
too, I was like, man, this must be a big deal.

(01:28:26):
So breakfast for dinner, big deal. But the reason I thought that it
was people weren't making stuff from scratchis because it always seemed like something where
like there wasn't something prepared, solike, ah, just breakfast for dinner,
throwing an egg o, make somecereal whatever, like it was easy.
I didn't think people were whipping upfull enchiladas and crap enchiladas. Want

(01:28:49):
breakfast burritos? Don't they have breakfastenchiladas? What I'm saying, But like,
that's not what anyone's talking about whenthey're talking about breakfast for dinner.
I don't know what they're talking aboutthat, that's my question. Pancakes and
eggs and bacon and toast and bread. I mean I've had for breakfast.
I just that's delicious. Like this, Huh, why are you like this?

(01:29:12):
You never had it's on menus.You know you never had chilaquilas for
breadth. That's not a dinner item. That is a breakfast item, is
it? Yes? Is it?I thought it was? Is it?
I thought that was like a traditionalbreakfast? Is it? If you keep
asking, it doesn't change? Isit? Okay? Hey? Nate?

(01:29:33):
Hey, what's up? Maybe theshow? How are you? I'm pretty
good? You hanging in there.I'm being I mean, other than being
hectored by Mary over what constitutes Mexicanbreakfast? All right? Well, I'm
sure I've heard a while back thatdinner is around like six o'clock and then

(01:29:58):
supper is actually used to be aextra thing around like nine o'clock, like
rich aristocracy kind of thing. Oh, you know, kind of like uh
oh the Hobbits the second breakfast.Yeah, the Hobbit's reading second breakfast.
Wow, like Mary's second Mary hassecond lunch. Yeah, I'm just a

(01:30:21):
hobbit all right? Oh yeah,maybe right. I thought I thought,
I mean to sup I guess Ithought that that was like people were eating
at four in the afternoon because theywere going to bed at seven because they
had to get up at three toten the fields or whatever. So okay,
well I heard it came from likesort of like super super dinner,
like this super dinner. All right, Well, you're clearly an aristocrat,

(01:30:44):
Nate, so I'll take your wordfor it. That's awesome from it,
I know, a super dinner,right, Okay, thank you, Nate.
I appreciate super dinner goes through youfaster than a speeding bullet. Yeah,
to pe or not to t what'sI already started? Show is back
on seven w m MS got abrand new banger from Ray from Mary in

(01:31:41):
a little bit, oh boy.And then I put a little something together
for you too, oh my,that you might like. It's not Ai.
A couple of funny dudes on theshow. Rest of the week.
Cam Patterson is going to be inhere tomorrow, interested to meet him.
He doesn't need to come in.All the shows are sold out, but
he's coming in and we'll chat withhim. And then Friday, Adam Ferrara

(01:32:05):
is back off show. What's that? Yeah, Adam's great, So Camp
Patterson tomorrow, Adam for our onFriday. Both of them doing Hilarities over
the course in the next few days. So go to hilarities dot com for
the details on those shows. Butagain, I think Cam shows are all
sold out. Uh oh, JerryWest died. Yeah, Jerry West is

(01:32:29):
the NBA logo. I think hespent his entire career with the Lakers,
didn't they act Yeah, even hishe was in the front office. Yeah,
player and coach Jerry West was.I don't think he was the coach.
I think he's just like the headof basketball. Oh yeah, oh,
I thought he coached him for aminute for a little bit. But
eighty six years old, Jerry Westof course Everybody called him the logo because

(01:32:55):
he was they called him. I'mgonna tell you why they called him the
logo. It's a very simple thingto say. They called him the logo
bill because he was once a renownedlimbo champion. And what in the how
to logo from that? Hello canyou go Mary? Oh? Song that

(01:33:19):
they sing when you're doing the limbo? I gotta go home? H don't
we all? Hey? I guesshe he played with the Minneapolis Lakers.
That's how old Jerry West was eightysix years old, of course before they
moved to Los Angeles. Iconic asa player and an executive they called him.

(01:33:40):
Of course. He was a fourteentime All Star and a ten time
All NBA First Team selection, wona title with the Lakers in seventy two,
coached him from seventy six to seventynine, okay, and then transferred
to the front office, where hewas named Executive of the Year in nineteen
eventy five. How old was hewhen they made him the logo? It

(01:34:01):
wasn't at the inception of the NBA, No, no, no. It
was probably in the seventies, lateseventies or okay, maybe mid seventies,
maybe the eighties. I don't know, and I wonder how they landed on
Jerry West. He just had hecut up a mean sloette. Yeah.
Twenty years ago he joined the MemphisGrizzlies as their GM and then he got

(01:34:27):
named Executive of the Year again withthe Memphis Grizzlies. Pretty impressive. Yeah,
yep and uh. Before he retiredfrom the whole shebang, he was
a consultant for the Clippers and theGolden State Warriors. He was given the
Presidential Medal of Freedom by Donald Trumpand just a highly regarded guy. Another

(01:34:50):
guy that died. He had alreadyretired by the time I was a kid,
but we had him on the Bulls. My dad was telling me a
guy named Jet the jet He wasin his eighties as well, but he
was a Basketball Hall of Famer.Chet the jet Walker was a guy who
played for the Sixers when they werestill the Nationals. All these guys in

(01:35:13):
their eighties playing for like the originalteams before they moved the New Orleans Jazz
and that kind of stuff. Chetthe jet He won a couple of titles,
I think with Philly, and thenhe ended his career with six or
seven seasons in Chicago, but hewas all done by the time I was
in kindergarten. Chet the jet Walkerand Jerry West are two guys that had

(01:35:41):
very storied careers in basketball and diedwithin hours of each other. As I
understand it now, there was arumor going around that they died with each
other, and there has been absolutelynothing to corroborate that story. I don't
know in what capacity that would havehappened, but I'm almost positive. Maybe

(01:36:06):
do your own research on that,but I'm almost positive that's not the case.
Alan, my buddy used to eatspaghetti for breakfast with his grandparents.
Like elf. He covered in sprinklesand maple syrup or sugar and syrup.
I don't know. I couldn't eata whole plate of spaghetti for breakfast.

(01:36:28):
I'd have to eat like a singlespaghetto at a time, right, and
then see how much more I wantedto have just strand. But you know
how I do strand by strand forbreakfast. I mean, you don't want
to go into a carb coma assoon as you go to school or work.
Alan, my parents divorced in theeighties and we were left with a

(01:36:50):
Korean War vet I assume he meansgrandfather, So we would get for breakfast
a big plate of baked bean toppedwith mac and cheese, topped with two
heaping scoops of cottage cheese. Man, I'll tell you what, it's nothing
like having a military veteran cook foryou, because they're just looking around trying

(01:37:15):
to figure out what we got.Baked beans. Your mission, should you
choose to accept it, is somebodyreplicate this dish at home. Not this
person, because clearly they probably stilltraumatize, but replicate this at home and
report back baked beans, mac andcheese, cottage cheese, two heaping scoops.

(01:37:42):
Hey, Melissa, Hey, Hi, how are you? I'm great?
What's going on? Hey? Isthis allan? It is? Is
this Melissa? Yeah? Oh,I was just talking. I wanted to

(01:38:03):
let you know my dad played withJerry West in high school. Oh yeah,
I expected that anyhow. Yeah,they came from very humble beginning.
Is your dad from West Virginia,Ohio Valley? Yeah, in West Virginia,

(01:38:26):
Yeah, Wheeling, And you know, just I wanted to share with
everyone, you know, like youcan come from an area that's very poor
and do very well. And hehad such a great work ethic and my
dad went on to teach and coachfor years too. But every time I

(01:38:49):
see that logo, I did,that's him in college. I'm pretty sure.
Okay, where he went to Syracuseor something? Where did he go
or is he a mountaineer? Ithink he was a mountaineer because I think
the Bobucking Show called my dad onceabout him. Okay, so yeah,

(01:39:13):
it was. It was great timesback in the fifties. My dad could
only afford a basketball, so theyplayed in a peach basket. That's a
traditional way. Yeah, is yourdad's Is your dad still alive, Melissa,
Yes he is. He cannot waitto tell him. I talked to

(01:39:36):
you today. Is he a peachbasket salesman? By any chance? Do
they very divergent pads in their careers? He did not sell peach baskets,
but is a big mountaineers. Somy brother and just hate the show,

(01:39:59):
thank you, And I wanted toI wanted to tell Mary I can't leave
my house without a glass of waterin my car. It's the only way,
Mary. When they're making fun ofyou, that is ridiculous. I
agree, Aston I get in thecar, I have to have a drink.
So, Melissa, you have aknowing that they were. We're not

(01:40:19):
talking about having a like water inthe car is a bad thing. It's
bringing a pint glass into the car. That's bananas and open mouths. Kitchen
glass. Yeah, we're living lifeon the edge. Well, guess what'll
coming from West Virginia driving around witha ball glass. You're not in West

(01:40:43):
Virginia anymore, you know, sorementor I guess that is thick glasses.
No, those ball jars, Yeah, that is thick glass. The ball
jar at least has a lid youcan put on it at some point.
Yeah, it does. So.Well, Melissa, you're in the car,
there's a glass. There's a kitchenglass right next to you in the
car. Yeah, wow, whatare you drinking? I love my water?

(01:41:12):
Well h two? Oh good?All right, Well, okay,
Well tell your dad that we saidcongratulations and give him our condolences on the
passing of Jerry West. Yes,I will that hit him pretty hard today,
but it had eighty six. Butso excited to say his name,
Ross Nightingale. A lot of peopleI'm not. I'm from coaching. Now,

(01:41:34):
that's a great name. Ross Nightingale. Is your dad. Yeah,
Ross Nightingale. Wow, that's agreat all right, well mozletop Okay,
thank you Melissa, love you,Bell, Mary, thank you. There's
Melissa. She's living life on theedge. According to Mary, it's the

(01:41:58):
only way. Yeah. Jerry boy, he I remember watching the thing with
him a long time ago and hewas like, yeah, I didn't come
from anything. His dad just beatthe piss out of those kids. Like
Jerry West is like, yeah,every time my dad came home, we
thought he might kill us. Andhis mom would beat him up if he
came home late for dinner and solike, in the meantime, this guy's

(01:42:18):
just in the backyard practicing shooting hoops. Like I got to get the hell
out of here. That desperation boy, that can be That can be a
hell of a motivator. Yep,doesn't sound like Ross and Nightingale had as
difficult of a climb, but hedid well for himself. But the open

(01:42:42):
glass, listen, it's your carand your life and your glass. You
do what you want to do.There's so many options. There are options,
but that's the one she chose,so many hurting anybody. I don't
understand why it's a problem well,because if you get it's potentially messy and
dangerous. Right, Let's say youget hit or even slightly rear ended,
there's water all over your lap,or the glass shatters. There's enough things

(01:43:06):
that can shatter in a car already, let alone adding a glass. You
think that if I get rear ended, something in my cup holder is going
to shafow. A million things couldhappen. I don't know. Things reverberate
through the structure. I'm hey,sorry for looking out for your well being.
Mary. Sorry, you know what, Go out there and do what

(01:43:27):
you want to do. Thank youyou gun anyway, m hm. Michael
Partment points out that baked beans,mac and cheese and cottage cheese as the
perfect recipe for a brand new stairwell. Fart now to get that in there.
Good night, nurse, you're gonnalaunch yourself in out of space.

(01:43:51):
Yeah, okay, I promised youa new ray banger, and I will
come across with a ray banger herefor you. We understand it. Yeah.
He sent me a handful of mygrab, the one that I think
is the least likely to need interpretation. It's called Mary Santora's comedy Jam.
It's sent to set to funky eightiesrap perfect it's redundant. Of course,

(01:44:15):
all eighties rap was funky. Butthere's coconut milk and Brian's of rat whatever
and footpicks. I don't know ifthe devil's in this one. Satan has
made an appearance inexplicably, and allof Ray's love songs to Mary, the
devil always shows up every time.Yeah, I mean, I'm mad at

(01:44:39):
it. It's just interesting and boomin pra loves those foot picks heart boom
in night Ball prings, coconut milkslashes very last preak slashes cheese. Mary's
plus laves like that, A retreatingabout feet, Mine's in a scatter Mary

(01:45:00):
flaps on mass Milrea A sight watchingall night Oh, come on, munching
with the brats all night, fairfascination. Mary's comedy, Well, I
can't see what happened to the Igotta about feet, Mine's in a scatter.

(01:45:23):
Stop the lyrics light stays so bright. Mary steals the show every single
night. In the imagination vivid coconutmilk dreams so so livid, livid,
He's gotten mad dreams, angry dreams, angry coconut milk splashing dreams. Well,

(01:45:45):
listen, AI is not uh,it's not infallible. He just needed
something to rhyme with vivid, justshut up, says. Usually these run
the music along with the lyrics,but the lyrics stopped, so I can't.

(01:46:11):
Well that's the best of the bunch, by the way, So that
shows you where he is. Butyeah, a lot of a lot of
coconut milk splashing and at this time, angry, angry coconut milk dreams.
Yeah, milk dream but no devil. So you know, you take the
again steps in the right direction withthe good. And then I made a
song for you too, okay,because we were talking about No, it's

(01:46:32):
not as snow, it's just youknow, but I got it. I

(01:47:04):
love it. Yeah that's pretty.Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is
a banger. Come on, man, there's no angry coconut milk splashes in
there. There's no Satan O'Brien hangingout with the red No. No.

(01:47:31):
Yeah, well something for everybody.That's Ludacris. See if he likes it,
I already sent it to State Farm. Well that's not the same and
that he works for. I don'tknow if they forward him there, you
don't. It's not ludacros at statefarm dot com. Chris Ludacris Bridges at
state farm dot com. You mightget lucky, but I'm gonna guess not.

(01:47:54):
Oh yeah, you and I won'tup boom down down, then I
won't lude. I don't want toleave, but I gotta no. I'll

(01:48:25):
tell you what. That's why theycall it Hot Lanta, Mary, Hot
Lanta, glugging down, glug glugthe a t L called The Alan Cox
Show. Is that what you wantto do? Think about it? Alan
want divorced in hum Bro good Mantwo one six five seven eight one double
O seven or one eight hundred andthree four eight one double O seven three

(01:48:57):
five one nine two Send me atext if you want Alan Coxshow dot com
for watch live. Thanks again todiegro Sh ches or assisting in the video
department. One and done. Boy, I never see him. Guardians took
the first of two. They callit the Ohio Cup. They're down playing
the Cincinnati Reds. Who they haveJoey Vado? Is he still a Cincinnati

(01:49:20):
Red? Oh? I don't know. Wasn't he the big guy down there
in Cincinnati? Oh? Right,that's uh Guardians reds Tonight Guardians win five
three last night the second and twotonight seven to ten is when that starts
here on MMS. Of course,you can also listen on the iHeartRadio app,

(01:49:40):
which, as I understand it isstill free of charge. And then
they'll head up to Toronto. Guardiansgo up Friday, Saturday Sunday, take
on the Blue Jays and then returnhome to play Seattle next week, and
then Toronto comes down here. Howare the marin doing, by the way,
I think they're leading their division?Are they really? They are in

(01:50:03):
the West. They're not as hotas the Guardians, but they're playing good
baseball. Top of the division though, thirty nine and thirty okay, And
Blue Jays, I mean they're askosh below five hundred, but blue deezer
okay. Alan. I had aregular open glass of water in my car
once and I hit a speed bumpand the glass shattered in the cup holder

(01:50:27):
and the speed bump ended up beinga kid yep. I mean, I
don't know that one has anything todo with the other. That's just an
unfortunate situation. I recommend not usingan open glass for water whilst driving.
Somebody reminded me of the scene inAlways Sunny. This was like the first
few years of the show, rightwhen Dennis is eating cereal at the red
light over that and Frank isn't payingattention any rears Because they took it from

(01:50:55):
Glenn Howard and had told the writersa story about it was they were laughing
so hard because he was talking aboutcereal in the carney spilled. They're like,
you're eating cereal in the car onthe way over here. I remember
seeing my friend driving down the streetand I was like behind him, and
I was trying to get his attentionand he was just kind of driving with
his knees eating spaghetti out of atupper wear. Ye oh God, You're

(01:51:20):
like, hey, I'm over here, what what's up? That's America's Tim
Cornett. Yeah, now, Sandra, dumb bitch. Come on. I
love physical comedy, anything that getssplashed or bodily fluids or you know,

(01:51:43):
I denied it for a long time. You know. I would laugh at
stuff and and Gwen would go,boy, you like physical comedy, and
I go, no, not really, just like that, And then little
by little I had to come aroundto it. When it's done right,
because when is it done wrong?I think of the movie it's the Adam
Sandler movie, like the first oneof different Netflix, like the Ridiculous Six.

(01:52:09):
Yeah, I didn't see it.I just remember one scene where there's
just like a donkey like having projectilediarrhea, and I was just like,
nah, I'm gonna watch that now. Yeah, I'm gonna watch that.
Anything that evolves bodily fluids anytime Farleywould have the hose in his shirt on
SNL and vomit all of I don'tknow what it is. Maybe diarrhea,

(01:52:31):
he co'd say it. Maybe diarrheawould be less funny on film. But
when people fall falling is my favoritefall, but in a certain way,
like Pratt falling, like the oldChevy SNL stuff. I anything was funny.
But you know, there was aseries of commercials. Gwenna laugh at
me because there were some commercials.Even if I've seen them all hundred times,

(01:52:54):
I'll still laugh like I've never seenthem before. And there was a
campaign a few years ago. Ithink it was for thumbs. The Conceit
was everybody has an upset stomach fromwhat they had, but they would have
the food they ate, like lifesize and so they were fighting with their

(01:53:15):
food, and so this guy's gettinglike slapped around by a dry piece of
pizza, and I was like,God, that's because I could just imagine,
you know, there's these marketing companiesfor all of the marketing people for
all these companies, and they've gotto sit around and come up with something
that's going to be an eye catcher. And still at the point across because
you can't be you know, youcan't be too clever with your marketing.

(01:53:36):
You know, that's the other endof that joke people talk about, you
know, Super Bowl ads where nobodyknows what the hell they're selling. Right,
there's a couple of squirrels on thelog it's for jeans like that.
Somebody does that joke. So youcan't be too clever with your messaging.
But people were like fighting life sizeribs and pizza, and like one guy's

(01:53:58):
duking out with a bowl of ramen. I don't know why I think that's
so funny. I don't know.But getting rear ended in a car and
splashing your milk all over the windshield, I don't know. It's because we
expect it. Of course, thecharacter doesn't expect, right, because like,
what did you think was going tohappen? Right? If you're eating

(01:54:20):
cereal in the car, it's soobvious, it's ridiculous. But the I
guess my question to Mary and peopleof her ilk, how did you get
to that? Rather than just thestandard covered it's whatever I'm already drinking out

(01:54:40):
of. I'm not dirting another glassto take in the car. No,
No, but I have. WhatI'm saying is people normally have like separate
water bottles that are only like travelbottles, that's they only use. It's
not like they're drinking out of thetravel bottle at home. Do you take
it on the subway? No?I don't take anything on the subway.
I don't eat or drink on thesubway at all. I don't like being

(01:55:00):
on the subway. Right, Well, that I get, Yeah, that's
only when I'm driving. Only whenyou're driving, you don't take anything on
the subway. Yes, I meanit's the easiest way to not take the
subway. It's to drive, todrive your car. That's what I heard.
Even my body, I don't takemine, is telling me no.

(01:55:23):
Uh. Magination, of course,is screaming and crying that America is a
Banana Republic because their criminal president wasactually found guilty for NonStop criming. But
the nation of Guatemala is taking itliterally with the Banana Republic thing. That
Chiquita banana company was found guilty offinancing paramilitary groups. Chiquita, if you

(01:55:50):
were to ask somebody to name abrand of bananas, Chiquita might be the
only one that comes to people's minds, if if anything comes at all,
but the international Chiquita brand you gotthose stickers on the bananas when you buy
them, had been funneling money toa Colombian paramilitary group. Auto defends us.

(01:56:16):
You need us de Colombia. Thisis the case was tried in Florida,
and the jury determined that the Chiquitabrand company had knowingly provided substantial financial
assistance to this paramilitary group. Chiquitais the world's largest banana producer, and

(01:56:39):
they have to pay thirty eight milliondollars to the families of eight victims.
Oh my god, thirty eight milliondollars. Where are they going to come
up with that money? A multibillion dollar company, thirty eight million.
They're just gonna look around the roomand go, how about you got on
you? I got five million onme. Tell me banana, just get

(01:57:00):
my checkbook, a far right paramilitarygroup that had been designated a terrorist organization
by the United States, and theChiquita banana company was partially funding them.
Of course, Jaqidah says, ifthey will appeal the verdict, but that's

(01:57:24):
a wild situation and it begs thequestion what other companies are doing this kind
of stuff, you know, likeare they going to find out like the
Huggies Corporation is funneling money to likeextreme right wing candidates or something. Huggies
is just a brand, of course, probably owned by Unilever, one of

(01:57:45):
those companies that owns everybody. Andthat's the other side of that equation is
that there's about fifteen companies left andso you know most things are owned by
one of those companies. Huggies wouldn'tdonate to left wing because we're the ones
eating the babies, and they're againstthat. If there's no babies, they
can't sell diapers. Ah, thatis a good point. Yeah, so

(01:58:05):
we are removing their target customers.Yeahs. Babies, yes, drinking the
blood? Are we eating them orare we uh periodically draining the blood to
keep ourselves young? And then andalso selling parts parts. Oh that's what

(01:58:26):
it is to organ farms and thingslike that. Yeah. I had a
guy told me that with a straightface, and an abortion clinic once that
was you were at an abortion clinic. I was at a clinic, do
tell doing just outreach, just talkingto the to the guys out front,
trying to distract them because I hadsomebody that was going in and I wanted

(01:58:49):
to interference. And uh, thisguy's like there you sell part time,
like how much? And he's likesell me like you tried to like make
it up on the spot. Itwas ridiculous. But yeah, and were
you able to engage him in anyvery easy to get engaged? Yeah,

(01:59:11):
I tell him the because they wantto talk to you about it, probably
yeah, yeah, mhmm. Heydon Hey, what's up? Is it
Allen? Yes? What's going on? Done? Hey? I just have
some clarification about the Chiquita Banana thing. So they were not not just funneling

(01:59:38):
money to this uh basically farked Gorillagroup, but it was specifically to hunt
down and murder people who are tryingto form a union in the company.
Of course, listen, if theysaid Gorilla is after me to stop me
from forming a union. I wouldbe like, and how are no wonder

(01:59:59):
it's a banana cump? But hewith all his gorillas, they got to
you know, it's like giveing methto the Kamikazi's back in the day,
right, banana peels all over theblaze? Yeah, yeah, chaos.
Anyway, I just wanted to tofill you in. No, so so,
and did they get their money's worth? You know how cheaper bananas?

(02:00:21):
Bananas are pretty damn cheap, SoI would say that probably, I guess.
So, I don't know how.I mean, I buy bananas pretty
frequently, but I never checked tosee how much they are. But they're
pretty cheap? Are they like abuck of banana? No? Oh?
Yeah? How much can a bananacosts five dollars? I mean, I
don't know. I don't even knowwhat banana's cost. If I don't get

(02:00:47):
I'm just going from the perspective ofeverything costs way more than it should.
So yeah, I don't know.Okay, Hey, thank you dam I'll
be in the meantime, I'll beeating doll bananas. There you go.
I hope that I hope that wedon't find out that they've been funding paramilitary

(02:01:08):
groups too, like they're in bedwith the Proud Boys or something like that.
Even if they are, I justdon't want to find out about it.
Right well, ignorance is bliss donand okay, thank you Peller's don.
Is that that heed? Go?Many walk work all night on a

(02:01:34):
drink or stock money? Come ifyou're like showing a gorilla military operation happening
a little just the position there,this is underneath, yes, underneath they're

(02:01:54):
slitting you can organizers throats yea,as it starts seeing. That's what it
gets from the times when he startsdoing the day just uh huh slash.
I got hostages blindfolded and tied up, and they're like, we want to
go home. Daylight come and wewant to go home. Was this in

(02:02:17):
Beetlejuice? Or am I thinking ofall those other okay, old tiny songs
that I like, the old AndrewDice Clay joke. And people are heckling.
He's like, what do you thinkI'm stupid? Is that you don't
think I know stuff? I know, Harry Belafont, they won the Civil
War. I know that singing aboutbananas and and spiders. Hi de Deadly

(02:02:45):
Black Durantla. Did Harry Belafonte writethe Banana Boat Song? Is it his?
I don't. I don't know.Huh. Who on the show would
be an expert in Harry Belafonte,either of you guys, neither that's you.
That's something you should Yeah, No, I don't know that. It's
an old song. You're an oldperson. You should know. You're around

(02:03:06):
in the forties. Mister tally Man. Yeah, it was his hit song,
but I don't know who wrote it. A traditional Jamaican folk song.
Okay, best known version was releasedby Harry Belafonte. Of course he was
a Jamaican American. Oh, now, I didn't hear this when we were

(02:03:28):
in Jamaica for the show. Idon't remember hearing. I thought we'd get
off the plane and i'd hear thestrains of the Banana Boat Song wafting down
the mountains, But I don't rememberhearing that. That's hacked to them now?
Is that what it is? Mring ring ring, ring, ring,
ring, ring ring ring. Ithink the wildless story is the the

(02:03:50):
hit woman speaking of the hit womanthat they found out worked in the Milwaukee
Brewers front office. This who gothired by a couple of guys over Did
you read about that this woman whogot hired like a forty two year old
woman got hired by a couple ofdudes overseas to assassinate or to murder their

(02:04:15):
business competition. Some woman in hermid forties from Milwaukee who they found out
as this case one n found outshe worked in the office for the Milwaukee
Brewers. She was just like apencil pusher or whatever. And the two
guys who set this plan in motionare being tried for attempted murder. But

(02:04:41):
they I don't know how they foundthe woman. I don't know. They
didn't even know who it was fora while, because they contacted this woman
and they flew her over and thesetwo guys who were running a clothing business
and they wanted her to hill arival owner and his son, and they

(02:05:05):
flew her over to England and sheput a heat job on and sunglasses and
had set up a meeting with theguy she was supposed to kill, so
he just thought that she was anotherbusiness acquaintance. This is just that movie
that's on Netflix, right ye man, Yeah, I'm only halfway through a

(02:05:27):
Hitman. They happy to watch.It's entertaining and not. It's fine.
Yes, they're really trying to makethat Glenn Patter a thing. But that
girl is crazy hot in that moviethe girl from and or what's his name,
Glennwell, yeah, I think you'reright, Glenn Powell. Yeah.
But anyway, this girl the gunjammed, she like had a meeting with

(02:05:50):
this guy, meets him, walksup to him, says shaking his hand,
puts a gun to his head,gun jams and he runs away and
she flies back to the United States. And they couldn't figure out what the
hell was going on or who thisperson was, and they finally determined that
it was forty four year old AmyBetrow, who is a Milwaukee native and

(02:06:14):
works for the Brewers. Is herlike she is a hit person or was
she like in love with one ofthe guys? I don't know. There's
still the two guys that hired herwere found guilty of conspiracy to murder,
but I think they're still looking forher. She might be on the run
or something. But like, howdid this whole thing even come together?

(02:06:39):
I don't know that she's a worldtraveler who's running around murdering people, but
somehow she got Jason. Yeah,in contact with these dudes, and the
thing went south. So she didn'tkill the guy. She had abandoned her
car nearby. It was found bypolice. And then I guess she took

(02:07:00):
a taxi to the guy's house andpumped a bunch of bullets into his house,
but I don't know. And sothen she fled to the US,
and I think they're still looking forBut it's a wild So you have to
wonder there's a conversation that's going tobe had with the Milwaukee Brewers organization too.

(02:07:21):
Hey, guys, you might haveseen the story. You know,
a very unassuming woman, right,but I have to imagine that she's probably
like any other office administrator. She'sprobably got it. She's like Monday's right,
you know, she did that?Yeah, anybody want to go to

(02:07:43):
a happy hour, guys, Staleritas. Yeah, So Amy betro is the
person that they I don't know ifthey found her or if they are still
looking for her. It's hard totell. And this is going to work
in favor of a lot of peoplewho are getting themselves in trouble because it's
getting harder and harder to tell whatpeople really look like on social media,

(02:08:03):
because some of her pictures you're like, oh, that's what she really looks
like. But you know, there'sa lot of girls that are adding those
like super soft filters to their facewhere it looks like they've got like anime
eyes, and you know, justthose really really soft features on those filters
that you can barely tell or evenon, and they take all their pictures

(02:08:26):
that way, so you see themand they're like, oh my god,
everybody looks so smooth. But they'retrying to find this lady, and so
far the Brewers organization hasn't. Idon't know that they've put out a statement,
but I don't know. But thatalso means that here in Cleveland,

(02:08:46):
I have to imagine that the Guardian'sorganization is going to be at least releasing
some kind of memo going, hey, as far as far as we know,
hey, anybody who might be engagedin this kind of active this is
just her side hustle. I guessso they got her identity exposed during the

(02:09:13):
course of this trial, but I'mnot sure where she is now. She
studied at a local college in Milwaukeeto be a teacher, but ended up
working for the Brewers organization. Butshe didn't kill the guy. Story would
have been better had she killed theguy, had she gone, had the
gunnot jammed, and she was likenow by definition an international hit woman.

(02:09:41):
Maybe she posted what No, becauseit didn't she didn't carry it out.
That's what I mean. It wouldhave been better had she killed him.
But I'm saying she can't be calledherself with an international hit woman. No,
she can't now, but it wouldhave been better if she had.
Yeah, then she could have calledherself. You know, you wish this
guy had gotten Yeah, yeah,I wish he was dead. Yes,
I don't know him. You wouldhe my wish I'm dead. He don't
know me either. There's people whoknow me wish I was dead. But

(02:10:05):
make for a better story. No, I'm glad the guy's fine, but
would have made for a better storyhad the gun not jammed. Right,
Walk up? Oh how are you? Bang? Bang? Walk away?
It's like I know your equipment.Some guns they are prone to jamming,
faulty British guns. There illo,what's this then? What's this all about?

(02:10:28):
Then? None of the pieces aregoing together? Oh no me,
guns jammed. If you find yourselfbreathless with constant laughter. Congratulations, Now
could you tell Oz what show you'relistening to? It sounds fun. This

(02:10:48):
is the Alan Cox Show Guardians ofBaseball Tonight. It's seven ten be the
Reds in Cincinnati last night. They'rehoping to do it again tonight. So

(02:11:11):
we'll get out of here at sixthirty and then six forty your pregame will
get underway on MMS and on theiHeartRadio app. Hey Katie, Hey,
what's up? How are you good? So? I was listening to Two
Hours of Midnight three weeks ago tobe exact. Yeah, and it was

(02:11:35):
ten twenty eight and you said thisband growls and they're awesome and the song
was like literally six minutes long.And I still don't know who it was.
I don't know either. I'd haveto go I'd have to go back
and look at one of the playlists. Yeah, I mean, if I
post the playlist everyone, do you. Yeah, we have a Facebook page

(02:12:01):
and then I post them at WMMSdot com. What week was that?
It was three weeks ago? AndI remember it was at ten to twenty
eight exact on the radio because Ilooked because the song just I can't stop
thinking about it. It was soawesome three weeks ago. Changed Yeah,
it changed like five times in thesong and it was it was like six

(02:12:22):
minutes long and it was so awesome. Yeah, I don't know. That
is my description of a lot ofthe songs I play there, so I'm
not quite sure. Yeah, no, yeah, you were like big growl.
But if you go to WMMS dotcom and just hit to Ours to
Midnight, I post the playlist thereand then we have a to Hours to

(02:12:43):
Midnight Facebook page. All right,cool, I'll go on there. Thank
you for listening, Katie, thankyou. Okay, to Ours to Midnight
is our metal show. It isSaturday's ten to midnight. Mary. You
want to hear a little taste ofwhat's coming up this Saturday night? Whatever
brand new Lamb of God, yes, some classic Judas Priest god Flesh from

(02:13:13):
back in the day. Whatever,Godflesh is blasphemous. This is all supposed
to be blasphemous, by the way, great classic band called Cryptopsy. You
want to hear some Cryptopsy forever?So good, dude, Oh it's so

(02:13:39):
good, so good. How aboutnight Wish? Maybe you like anything like
that. Maybe you like symphonic metal. You know, we play all different
kinds. It's not my favorite kind, but a cory rotic. This pick
this week because it's me. It'score erotic, it's Pat Butler. And

(02:14:01):
every week we all throw in andwe play requests. So we play local
metal. A couple of local bandsthis week. A band called a Vowel,
a band called gray Haven, No, not gray Haven. Who's the
local band on playing Divine Threat?Uh? You might like symphonic metal night
Wish. This is a cartoon,so I'm not a huge fan, but

(02:14:28):
it is metal, invariably female fronted. The point do they take their time
getting going? Yeah, it seemslike rush huh yeah, okay, so
not night Wish. You might likeit stonery though, right, like High
Desert Queen, I like this.This is the best so far. Yeah,

(02:15:00):
there, it's going to be terriblehere in a second. Why do
you think it's gonna be because ofthe thing and you made? Well,
no, stonery. They don't reallyscream too much. It's more kind of

(02:15:22):
Oh anyway, that's a little tasteof what's coming this Saturday night on two
hours to midnight. I'm sorry,thanks for that taste. Picking up your
sarcasm. Nope, according to you, Tone has nothing to do with anything.
So I said what I said thatis true. You are correct.
So anyway, there's that. I'lltell you what. Speaking of Lamb of

(02:15:46):
God, they dropped the riot Festlineup today and everybody is now. They
moved riot Fest. If you've evergone, it's been in Douglas Park in
Chicago for fifteen friggin years, whichis a park in the city, not
in a great spot of town.But that's what kind of made it fine
riot That's what makes it for one. But I guess they had a big

(02:16:07):
falling out with the Chicago Park Districtand so they dropped a notice a couple
of days ago. They said,Hey, we're getting ready to announce riot
Fest, but we're moving it,and boy do they move it. They
moved it out to the burbs.But every band is on Riotfest twentieth,

(02:16:28):
twenty first, and twenty second inChicago. Fallout Boy, there's literally something
for everybody on this tour or tour, this show, Festival, Fallout Boy,
beck Ye Slayer, who just brokeup, Saint Vincent Offspring, Public
Enemy, Pavement, Lamb of God, a mastadon Cypress Hill, Some forty

(02:16:54):
one, Newfound Glory, taking backSunday, Clutch Gar an ass ton of
like old school punk bands like thatdescend in Circle Jerks Wagon, Yeah,
I love black Wagon, Buzzcocks,d o A, The Dickies, Doctor
Dog's Good to the Exploited. I'mplaying them on Saturday Night. Polaris,

(02:17:22):
Uh just just yeah. Hundred bandsare on this thing, so anyway,
they've moved, they've moved it outof the city. But for people who
go to Riotfest, I think thatwas the first show that the reunited Misfits
played a few years ago. Uh. Literally something for everyone on this lineup.

(02:17:43):
Fall Up Boy of course a hometownband, but they I'm not sure
what kind of reception they get there. Any The Marley Brothers, all the
living Marley Brothers are on the showperforming Bob Marley song Suicidal Tendencies and the
Hives something corporate remember them? Yeah, oh I love them. You are

(02:18:05):
talking about emo whiny music. Ohyeah, well I don't, but I
take your point. Ye so yeah. Park Oh God, in the gym
this morning, whoever was controlling themusic was playing NonStop Blink one eighty two.
I was like, oh God,Tom Delong's voice, I cannot this
could be a short sash toy,ma, where are you? That was

(02:18:31):
one of them. I miss youstarts playing. I'm like, this ain't
pumping me up on me. Iguess they're wearing headphones because I don't.
That's crazy, You don't. Idon't because I'm fine, Like, I
don't. I don't need the Idon't. I don't need any inhibition in
my range of motion. And there'stoo much stuff going on, at least
for me. I'm not like aheadphones of the gym guy. But maybe

(02:18:52):
I'll start because I don't need tohear doing boying doing doing. Oh oh,
what if he was encouraging you?Please hang yourself? What what if
he was encouraging you? What ifhe was like, come on now,
I don't like the voice. Youknow, you know how you don't like
pushing harder, just ten more bounds? So you're telling you like a version

(02:19:16):
therapy? Then, like I gotso used to it wouldn't bother me anymore.
Well like, because he's being motivating, Yeah, no, I don't
think so, I don't. Idon't think so. Ellen. What's the
June code, Oh, Cleveland ClothingCompany, the June code is? What's
the June codevill oh, the Junecode is, man boy, do I

(02:19:39):
forget it? Yeah? Cardinal,good job Mary. Yep. The Cardinal
rule is to not remember or tonot forget the promo code twenty percent off
at Sili Clothing Company all through themonth of June, which I mean,
Jesus, we're almost already halfway throughJune, so you'll use it. If

(02:20:03):
Mary was to what, oh,if Mary was to drink her metal music,
what would that sound like? That'sa weird way to put it.
I don't know what that would soundlike, but I take your point.
I don't know how would I possiblyknow whether that sounds pretty metal to me?

(02:20:26):
Well, so you lean more towardsthe Clutch side of And I don't
think of Clutch as a metal band, but I mean it's for all intents
and purposes, I'll throw all thatstonery stuff into the metal show because we
all like it. Volbeat, that'sa hard rock band. I don't think
of them as a metal band.Yeah, no, they're I think they're

(02:20:46):
real good. I don't think ofthem as a metal band. I bet
you can guess which song I likethe Devil's Bleeding Crown. Nope, what's
the one that l La Montez.Nope, maybe you can't guess Bulby.
I mean they got a bunch ofsongs, you like, still Booze,

(02:21:07):
still counting. Oh, why ispopular song? Why is that the one
popular song? Yes, I lovethis song. I think Lola monte is
my favorite. I like the Devil'sBleeding Crown. This is their most popular
song. I thought Heaven or Hellwas their biggest song. I don't know

(02:21:30):
what their biggest song. Is thatthe one, but they don't say that.
They say, oh, well,this is the radio version and the
radio Mary a Mary. Yeah,these guys are like kind of a Danish
rockabilly. They I think do alot of interesting things. Yeah, but

(02:21:56):
I don't think so. A fewyears ago, well I still marry jeez.
Oh god. I saw them along time ago on like a festival
or something. The other fourteen Yeah, ten years ago. I saw him
and they're at the Agora and itwas fantastic. Yeah, they were fine
before they even updated the Agra.Yep. Now, the guy who does
voldby the guy who formed it,he used to be a singer in a

(02:22:16):
death metal band, but he justwanted to do something different. I guess
right. It's like clutch light,clutch light, don't chick I know,
No, I don't. I don'tknow, because they can. They can
rise to the occasion with it.You know, if they went on the

(02:22:37):
road with clutch it'd be a theyhave Have they the next time? This
kind of nickelbacky. It's all rip, it's all riff rock. But yeah,
it's fine. I mean, theydon't do anything I don't like very

(02:23:00):
nickelback. He isn't it sounds exactly. It sounds like like like almost exactly.
Somebody's gonna get sued. Why haven'tthey already tell Mary? John Legend

(02:23:22):
is performing with the Cleveland Orchestra atBlossom in August. Even like the orchestra.
I've never seen orchestra live, butyou're a big John Legend fan,
No, I don't. I thinkthey might have confused John Legend with John
Mayer probably, ah well possibly soyeah, okay, So anyway, Ryde

(02:23:48):
Fest there's somebody there for everyone inSeptember in Chicago. They've changed the venue.
If you've ever been before, youknow where Douglas Park is. But
they're putting it at it's not wayout in the burbs, but it's in
Bridgeville, which you're gonna have tohaul a little ass depending where you're coming
from. And it's in some Ifyou live in Bridgeville, you're like,

(02:24:11):
hey, it's right up the street. Sorry, bridge View at the seat
Geek Stadium, so perfect, that'sokay. Guy in North Royalton just very
quickly. I like the cut ofhis jib. Guy gets pulled over.
It was just a dumb thing inthe police blodder. Guy gets pulled over

(02:24:35):
because the he had run a redlight. Guy in a Jeep Grand Cherokee
ran a red light and cop pullshim over and he tells a cop I
thought I had it and he ranthe red light. He said he was
headed to North Royalton to meet agirl. And when the cop asked him

(02:24:56):
if he had anything illegal in thecar, the guy goes, nope,
just these weapons. And then heflexed his BCEs the any guns in the
car, just these. He alsodenied drinking, but admitted to smoking marijuana
quote a long time ago. That'swhen the officer observed a pipe, a
one hitter, a grinder, anda jar in the car. There were

(02:25:24):
also two unsealed Mason jars full ofever Clear in the car, and he
failed his field sobriety test. Listen, I'm you North royal Tonians. Boy,
you people out there, get yourselvesinto the police blodder, God bless
you. I mean, as longas you're not hurting another person and left

(02:25:46):
to your own devices, I guaranteeyou eventually will. But it's fascinating to
me how many people out there aregetting hammered and trying to go somewhere else.
Go meet a girl, Go tomeet a girl in North Royalton.
She canna have whiskey d by thetime you get there. What a good

(02:26:07):
time for her? What's that?I said? What a nice little gift.
I said, I gotta go seeabout a girl. Give it my
ticket? What good will hunting?Oh? I stole my line? M

(02:26:28):
so yeah, just please be careful. But the comments that people are making
two officers about their biceps or theydon't have a smoked a long time ago.
Yeah, it was a long timeago. It was way back there.

(02:26:50):
It was way back there. Itwas a different person back then.
Uh, Laura is a recent It'sgot a vibes of the Mitch Hedberg joke.
I used to do drugs. Istill do, but I used to,
But I also used to as wellTimes of Flat Circle. Laura is
one of her bureau chiefs. She'sa recent edition to the list. She

(02:27:13):
splits her time between Madison, Florida, and Valdosta, Georgia. But she
wanted to point out that she grewup in Bedford, Ohio, home of
the Bedford Strawberry Festival, Mary's favoritething in the whole wide world, an
experience. Laura said her uncle usedto run it. Does she have an

(02:27:35):
explanation for the lack of strawberries.I don't know about that. Well,
I have climate change probably orbs.They just couldn't get people to work to
pick them. No, you know, I saw that nobody wants to do
Nobody wants to work anymore, migrantwork. That's what everybody says. They
go. Nobody wants to work anymore, despite what you're seeing on Fox News.

(02:27:58):
By the way, like the violentcrime rate has plunged around the country
right Violent crime way down because nobodywants to work anymore. That's got to
be part of it. Crimes work. Violent crime is down. The murder
rate in the United States is plunging. And I don't know if that's good

(02:28:22):
news or bad news for law enforcement, but crime is work, and I
think it probably just goes to whenpeople say nobody wants to work anymore.
That also involves people who are doingillegal work. And all crime is going

(02:28:43):
down. By the way, rapesare down, murders down, property crime
went down, an historic decline inhomicides. So the top murders in the
country have each seen a precipitous declinein people getting killed. New Orleans,

(02:29:07):
Seattle, Boston, Baltimore, Philly, Chicago, a big drop. So
what that tells me is those ofyou who are on the wrong side of
the law, you're just not tryinghard enough. You're not you got to
really want it, You're not committed. Now here's what I think. This

(02:29:31):
is kind of it's through the lookingglass. But the pandemic shot the homicide
right way up because people were angry, they were frustrated, they were cooped
up, and you know, therewere a lot of people cooped up with
people that they normally weren't cooped upwith, and uh, and their kids

(02:29:52):
and wifs. Yeah, they gotreal murdery and so it's uh, perhaps
in response to that, but whoknows, it's something to consider. Murder
rates are down because I'm not onthe road killing it this year, Mary
Santaura is going to be live.Were you out tonight? You got spots

(02:30:13):
tonight? I got one little,little tiny show in Brooklyn. Now,
will you will the murder rate goup when you're on stage there? They
don't typically like me in Brooklyn,but we'll see how it goes. Too
woke, Yeah, right, No, they're too woke there, too woke.
Last time I was in Brooklyn,I was like, I was doing

(02:30:33):
jokes and I colleged around nobodys laughand I was like, I might be
a Republican. Honestly, you guys, I don't even know what's going on
here, Like I feel like Ican't know what's funny anymore. Mm hmmm.
Well, or did anybody do wellon the show? Yes, other
Brooklyn comics. Here's what happened atthis show. This was an interesting thing.
If I were to say this line, what would you think it meant?

(02:30:54):
If I were to say, mygirlfriend's a personal trainer and she's been
asking me to come in and like, you have a girlfriend, body shamingsbie,
I think you would think I wasa lesbian. Yeah, I guess
I'm misusing the term girlfriend because Irefer to like anyone who's a female and
a friend in my life as agirlfriend, right, And it got an
applause break When I said my girlfriend'sa personal trainer. Everybody clapped. Maybe

(02:31:16):
they were health fanatics. Well Ilooked around and I go, that was
a really weird place to clap.And I go, wait a minute,
are you guys? Because I saidthat, I was like, are you
guys clapping for fitness or do youthink that I'm gay? They were like,
oh you you said girlfriend? AndI was like, that's why I
don't like doing comedy here. Ohgod, that's all it takes. That's
all it takes. Right. ButI would think that that wouldn't even be
like I would think that would beso regular that it wouldn't even be applause

(02:31:39):
worthy. It's like every single comicin Brooklyn and starts their set with so
I'm bisexual or I'm gay, orI'm non binary, or I'm this or
I'm transitioning, Like it's the in. Every time anybody says it, it
gets an appause breakthrough. Are thesepeople that are these people that only primarily
work Brooklyn, yes, not reallywork right this show? Aren't paid?

(02:32:00):
They're like bar shows. But butI mean, do you ever have conversations
like what's your big plan, bigpicture? I mean, you're not gonna
talk to them? Or are thesejust hobbyists? I think they're just hobbyists.
I think they're just kind of doingit in like they're never going to
go on the road. They're justdoing it in Brooklyn and having a good
time and getting applauded for being bisexualice because it's for that, for that
crowd, it's home runs every time. Yes, yes, I yes,

(02:32:24):
Well you're out there doing the hardstuff. But does anybody laugh? Yeah?
That's the other times. They're nota very laughy audience though, like
not even I'm not even saying forme in general, when I do shows
in Brooklyn, it's not usually biglaughs. It's it's a lot of agreeing
and head nodding and like, Idon't even know how to describe it.

(02:32:48):
It's not fun. Why are youdoing it? You know? Why are
you not do it? If youdon't like the audience? You don't like
the crowd? Do I do it? Keep hoping that it might be a
different audience. You know, howmany times will you go back before you
figure out? I mean, thisis every experience, so maybe I'll win

(02:33:09):
them over. Maybe I will,or just let him think you're gay and
then when you talk about your boyfriend, you're gonna blow their heads out.
Feel like, oh my god,how amazing. She's open, she's by
she's polly, Oh my god,this have you seen? I feel like
I feel like if there was justa woman that went on and says like
I am a straight woman, I'dbe like, I haven't heard that in

(02:33:31):
a while. That's what I'm saying. It's so many. I've done so
many women that I've never seen themdate a woman, but they are all
bisexual. M yeah, I've donethat on a Brooklyn show before a while.
Loves be fifteen not really fifteen,like six gay bye whatever, LGBTQ

(02:33:52):
comics in a row, and I'llgo up and be like, I'm a
straight and I know that's very braveto stay here, so you better clap
for me. Is there at leastone of them a person at these shows
where you're too you're look at eachother like ae or just you're on an
island. It depends some of themare fun that some of them are not
so like snooty, right, it'sjust kind of hit or miss. I

(02:34:13):
just I just typically, I mean, I'm a stepmom from Ohio, you
know what I mean, Like mymaterial doesn't my life experience, right,
I'm not you get married whatever.They just can't make anybody happy, can
you. But yeah, my experiencesare not the experiences of these twenty somethings,
right, you know what I mean? Right? Right? Well,

(02:34:35):
and that probably wouldn't be the caseirrespective of if you were in the situation
you're in, being thirty four,Yeah right, Cleveland, call the Alan
Cox Show. I'm sure it'll workfor people on vacation when they don't have
to do something, but I can'timagine it working on a day to day

(02:34:56):
basis two one six, five seveneight one double o seven one double seven
three. If you want to senda Texas you can listen on iHeartRadio wherever

(02:35:16):
you are. Comedian Kem Patterson isgoing to join us in here tomorrow to
listen to Dates and Hilarities this weekend, and then Friday, our buddy Adam
Ferrara is back in here. Goto hilarities dot com to find out who's
playing when, because both of thoseguys are doing shows here this weekend.
Guardians baseball is tonight. That's aseven to ten start, second of two

(02:35:39):
there in the Ohio Cup. Guardiansover the Reds last night five to three,
so they'll try to take it againtonight before they go up to Toronto
for the weekend series against the BlueJays, and then by Tuesday they'll beck
be back here in the Friendly Confinesa progressive field to take on Griffy Junior

(02:36:01):
and the Seattle Mariners. Ichiro Suzukiwho else played for the Mariners? Gay
Lord Perry and the Seattle Mariners.Do you guys play the power ball this
last time around? No? No, somebody wont it in? Uh good

(02:36:22):
thing I didn't play, texted myI texted my wife because the winning ticket
was purchased in her hometown at aplace where her brother used to work back
in high school. The Food Castleconvenience store in Grand Blank is where my
wife's from. Well, she's notfrom the food Castle. Outside Flint eight

(02:36:48):
hundred and forty two million dollars.There's a group called the Breakfast Club,
and this is a little group ofpeople that would throw in on lottery tickets.
That included a couple who were onthe verge of retirement and described themselves
as already comfortable. It's going tomake you feel good. And a lawyer

(02:37:09):
from Grand Rapids who also was abig winner. The group opted for the
cash lump sum of three hundred andfive million dollars. Man, you don't
even get half man, that's stilla lot of money. But yeah,

(02:37:30):
they won the big old power ballthere. The middle aged couple, well,
I thought they were an elderly couple, says middle aged couple who were
I guess so comfortable that they weregetting ready to retire in middle age.
And they said, now we're notfinancially bound to any specific timetable. I'm

(02:37:52):
really of two minds, you know, when it comes to lottery winners,
because on the one hand, Ithink it drives people nuts when somebody who
is already not of limited means winsthe lottery. That would drive anybody crazy
that somebody who is already in prettygood shape wins more money, right,

(02:38:13):
It's what drives everybody crazy about thesystem we live in. On the other
hand, when people who have nomoney win the lottery, you worry that
it's going to be they're going toblow through it. And again, it's
none of our business. Right,it's not money than anybody earned. It's

(02:38:33):
pure luck and pure good luck ormary fate? Is it fate when someone
wins the lottery? M depends ondepends on how often they play. It
depends on Like, if you're justwandering through and you're like, let me
try this latter your ticket, that'sfate. But if you play every day,
then you're kind of setting yourself upfor it. Yeah. But and

(02:38:56):
again, I can't claim to understandthe math of the lottery. People have
explained it to me for billion times, and I still don't understand. When
they say your odds don't increase themore tickets you buy, they don't.
Okay, So if you buy abunch of tickets, it's not fate.
I mean, you're not setting yourselfup to win. I mean I'm saying
the frequency with which you buy.If you buy every day, I see,

(02:39:18):
like it's part of your daily routine. So if you so, if
you regularly play the lottery, it'sfate smiling on you. No, it's
not fate. It's part of yourroutine, bound to pay off at some
point. Right. But the morerandom and occurrence is, the more it's
attributed to fate. I see,like if I if I, I don't

(02:39:39):
even know what to compare it to. I'm just saying, there are people
who play the lottery every day oftheir lives and never win. Mm hmm.
That's why it's not fate. Sothey were not fated to win.
Fate was not on their side atthis time. With this, I wonder
why there's no gramary reason. Ah, that's your problem is you keep trying
to apply logic to things and theywell they're not logic. I mean,

(02:40:00):
there's no rhyme or reason a coincidenceeither. That's what makes a coincidence.
I guess my question is, what'show do you discern a coincidence from fate
if you believe in fate, becausethere's no rhyme or reason meaning coincidence doesn't.
Ah, but isn't that retroactively assigned? Can't we just apply a meaning
to whatever we want though? Yeah, that's what I mean. Like when
people go, well everything happens fora reason, Well that's not true.

(02:40:20):
You looked at the breadth and depthof the situation and said, well,
here this is how this is themeaning I attached to it. Things don't
happen for a reason. That's finefor you to believe that way. So
you by not playing the lottery withany regularity, you're not setting yourself up

(02:40:43):
for fate to eventually smile on you. It seems like a missed opportunity.
Anything. I'm saying, the lessthe less, the more the less you
play, yes, and an occurrenceis the more it has to do with
fate. If you do something everysingle day, that's just part of your
routine. That's just called practice.Yeah, like if I okay, what

(02:41:05):
if you never play what is theultimate fate? If you never played the
lottery and win it? Yeah,that's crazy. That's ah huh. That's
that might get me to believe infate. I've never once played the lottery
and I won the power ball.Yes, that's people who have never played
the lottery but will find a winningticket on the ground. That's fate.

(02:41:26):
Hmmm. They just that's a coincidence. If there's two people and one of
them lunges for the ticket and getsit first, they were faded to get
that ticket. They might just befaster. They were faded to be faster.
What I'm saying is like, howhow high do we stack the elements

(02:41:48):
of fate. I don't know theywere fat? Were they were? They
faded to be faster, they fadedto be luckier. Again, you're asking
too many questions. Oh that's all. That's not how fate works out.
You don't know how faith answers.You don't have any asked questions. Just
well, then, how does onearrive at that belief? Another question?

(02:42:13):
Do you not understand it? I'mnot even halfway through them. How does
one arrive at a belief in fate? It's just that I'm curious. I'm
not arguing. I don't think there'san argument. Whatever is going to happen
to you is going to happen toyou, and there's not a whole lot
you can do about it. It'sthe same thing with like predetermination for your
life. A lot of people don'tbelieve you raised. I was gonna say,

(02:42:33):
were you raised a Calvinist or what? No? I was raised Christian.
Well that's what a Calvinist is.But they believe in predestination predetermined.
No, I believe so this theI mean, I don't know if I
believe this anymore, but I believedfor a long time that everything that's going
to happen to you, is goingto happen to you what you'd Whether you're
gonna get married, you're gonna havea kid, or you're gonna break a
leg, whatever, all of thatis predetermined. How you get there is

(02:42:56):
on you, the choices you maketo go left or right or whatever.
You're still going to break your legbecause you were meant to break your leg
on June twelfth. Yeah, thatleg is getting broken off. But how
would you But if you say anything, everything that's gonna happen to you is
gonna happen to you. How wouldyou know what was supposed to happen?
You don't. You don't. That'sthe thing of it. Whatever you believe,
we've got higher power, the universe, whatever I see, you don't

(02:43:22):
know what's going to happen to you, which is kind of why you throw
your arms up. You're like,whatever's gonna happen is gonna happen. There's
nothing I can do about it.If I'm meant to break my leg today,
today's the day I'm breaking my leg. So I'm gonna go about my
life how I want to go aboutit. And that's what it is.
Hello, who's this? Joe?Sub Joe hate the show Man. Thank

(02:43:46):
you. Hey Ellen, I gottadisagree with you on something. You said
that everything happens for a reason isfalse. Right, Well, I'm just
saying I don't believe in fate.I believe in coincidence. Oh no,
no that but that's not fake though. When you say you said everything happen
for a reason is not true,that's the exact opposite, because everything that

(02:44:09):
happens in the entire earth happens fora reason. If it ranges, it's
because of the clouds. If it'ssunny, it's because there was no clouds.
If if you fall, it's becauseyou trip. I mean, happens,
right, But those are you're talkingabout. You're talking about external reasons.
People who believe in fate believe ininternal reasons. They believe everything happened
for a reason for me or forwhoever. It's not just about you.

(02:44:35):
I think what Mary said was truebecause I mean, I hate to side
a movie, but the Butterfly Effectthe movie explained that really, well,
like he keeps trying to go backand change history, and every time he
changes the slightest thing, the futureends up much much different. So it
does. Every decision you make isgoing to affect your future every single decision,

(02:44:58):
right, But that's gotten up.But you don't know which decision is
going to create which outcome, Sothat doesn't mean fade. That to me,
that's just the same thing as it'srandomness. That that's to me,
that's proving what I'm saying. Youand Bill break your back to apply anything
except face No, we don't haveno, no, no, we don't.
You're you're misinterpreting. We don't haveto. We're not the backbreakers in

(02:45:20):
this situation. We don't have tobreak our backs to say things are random.
That you've got to break your backto come to the conclusion that fate
is involved, because fate implies fateimplies some external mover. Right. Listen,
people who believe in fate are largelylike religious if they believe in a
higher power. I don't believe inthat, so obviously I'm more secular in

(02:45:41):
my thinking. But I've leaned towardsscience, and there's simply no evidence to
prove fate. Otherwise there's nothing todisprove it. Obviously, we don't know,
like they talk about that. Yousaid you would know like either,
I don't think you would know ifthere was if it was fate there,
that's what makes it fate is becausewell, no, that's not Well,

(02:46:03):
you can't disprove a negative, right, So it's like that you can't say,
well, you don't know, yesthat's true, and it's just a
matter of belief. But I guessit just so I guess. I'm curious.
I'm always curious how people arrive attheir beliefs, and a lot of
them are instilled, and a lotof we all have beliefs that we think

(02:46:26):
are true and aren't right. Soif every single person really examines their beliefs,
you will find some where are like, oh, well that turned out
to not be true. Obviously youcan't prove or disprove fate, but it
depends on like for instance, ifpeople if everything's predetermined, then you couldn't

(02:46:48):
say that free will existed. Well, that's what I was saying, is
that you have free will and howyou get there. Your free will exists,
and you're gonna break your leg today. You if you step out in
front of a car, that happened. If you you'll wear too high heels
on cobblestone, it might happen.But today's the day you're regulate, right,
But if everything My point is,if everything is predetermined, that is

(02:47:09):
your free will. You get that, But that's not free will whatever we
think we're If it's predetermined, thenwhatever we think we're choosing as an illusion,
No, you have, well thenwho else is choosing it? Then?
Well that's where that's where people endup believing in a higher power.
I'm saying, you don't need youdon't need a higher power because it's all

(02:47:30):
coincidence. There is no prime allaneven as a Christian, which I am.
God doesn't make my decisions for me. I think he knows my fate.
But I make my own decision.That's my free will. Okay.
It's almost like being able to lookten years down the line if you had

(02:47:50):
a crystal ball and said, oh, Alan's gonna end up in Los Angeles
in ten years. I mean thereare I'm making you go there. I
mean, there's there's evidence that leanstoward the fact that scientifically we don't have
free will because our brains know whatwe're gonna do before we do, and
so it's just chemicals and things firingbefore we even come up with them,

(02:48:11):
external stimuli and things like that.So we're not even really in charge of
that. Now that's still up fordebate. But huh, our brains do
control us. Of course, it'sall chemicals, it's all it's all our
brains lay things out. But ultimatelyit's our decision to make those choices.
But your brain, you're making thechoice with. Your brain has set a

(02:48:33):
signal when you want to go picksomething up. Your brain has sent the
signal to move your arm nanoseconds beforeyou've been able to do it. So
your brain is sending that stuff beforeyou even you've even considered it. That
doesn't even make sense. The argumentgot it again, that's like the argument
that are you pregnant three days beforeconception? That doesn't even make any sense.

(02:48:54):
Nobody says you get pregnant before conception? Yes, yes, No,
they don't, dude, it's there. They think that they have. They
got plenty of facocta beliefs, Joe, thank you for the call. They
got plenty of weirdo beliefs like there'sa heartbeat in two hours, all that
kind of nonsense. Nobody's saying thatyou're pregnant. How can you be pregnant?
It's zero percent who says that Mybrother told me this that in the

(02:49:18):
Bible, all your brother believes ridiculousthings, saying if he's not the only
person who could possibly believe that.But that's what you're trying to say.
But that's not true. You're tryingto say that you sit there and your
brain decided I'm going to pick upthe napkin, and not brain decided just

(02:49:39):
that the moment that we do something, those signals have already been sent nanoseconds
ahead of time. So I'm justall I'm saying, you're also deciding if
you're going to pick it up ornot. Maybe you don't have to,
maybe maybe not. I'm not aneuroscientist. I just know that there are
some who are experts in that fieldwho believe that the quote unquote free will

(02:50:03):
is a myth because of the scienceof how our brains work in coordination with
our bodies. I don't know ifthat's true, but there are no there
there are a number of people inthat field who have exponentially more expertise than
I do who believe that. SoI don't know. I've never heard anybody

(02:50:24):
say I don't know how you couldeven physiologically come to the conclusion that someone
is pregnant before concept. The wordconception literally means you've How can you conceive
before you've conceived. I think whatthey would probably say is because the egg
was in the right spot for itto be fertilized, then that's the conception.

(02:50:48):
It's not conception. It's not conceivedbefore conception. By anyway, it
doesn't matter, right, None ofit matters, Mary, I'll tell us
that. Mary and I agree onthat. None of it matters. I
now much leave you is the Bradybunches on, and I find four of
those children incredibly arousing. Get atit. Be careful of what you say,

(02:51:11):
Be careful in every way, Becareful of what you do. Big
brother is watching you. Be circumspectand discreet, Stay light on your mental
feet. One slip and you knowwho you're through. Big brother is watching

(02:51:33):
you. And are we all naritis? Remember obedience paid? And when you
watch that davy screens, remember itworks both ways. You disappear in a
wink. Unless you can double think, you'll vanish into the blue. My

(02:52:00):
brother is watching you.
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