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September 26, 2024 162 mins
The Alan Cox Show
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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
The Federal Communications Commission has determined the following contest to
be emotionally harmful.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Funny things that she thinks funny aren't funny.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
Jimmy coxbob, Time to me, Allen Cox Show kicks ash Man,
Welcome to me.

Speaker 4 (00:17):
What you gonna see a lot of cocks on TV?

Speaker 5 (00:21):
Allen Cox from the Allen COXO.

Speaker 6 (00:22):
I don't know what's about you by caning fader, it
don't be increasing, So let's take it cosick and you'll
got eight with anasty groove.

Speaker 7 (00:32):
Okay, what do three? Okay, come damn cook you one
time ticket? Collen Cox. Here we go, he'll add, he'll try.

Speaker 8 (00:44):
It's the Allen Cox Show on one hundred point seven
double U m.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
M as.

Speaker 7 (01:01):
Hey, what's going on? Everybody? Good afternoon.

Speaker 4 (01:03):
It always makes me a little nervous when I yawned
right before I turn the microphone, hoping that's not a
hardbinger of things to come. They clear my throat. Hey,
good afternoon. My name's Allan Cox. Thanks for being here.
Let's see what we can do. Shall we say hi
to Bill Squire. He's right over there, crop of hoods.

(01:23):
His friends call him Bam Bam because enemies calling pretty much.

Speaker 5 (01:28):
Just my mom calls me that.

Speaker 4 (01:30):
For your friends call you bill, oh, bill Oh? They
don't have a little pet name for you? Hey, Mary Sey,
sweet baby boy? Mary Santora? Is there in midtown Manhattan?
What do your friends call you?

Speaker 8 (01:47):
Mary?

Speaker 7 (01:47):
Lynn? Mayor mayor? All right? What's your middle name? Louise?

Speaker 5 (01:52):
Yeah, nobody calls you wheezy? No Ah? Never ever, that's
the name of my friend's dog, Wheezy.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
But is that wh e e z? Why does that
have difficulty breathing?

Speaker 5 (02:03):
Or is that okay?

Speaker 2 (02:04):
Do you easy one?

Speaker 4 (02:05):
Big fans of the Jeffersons maybe or they just like
the name?

Speaker 2 (02:09):
No idea?

Speaker 5 (02:09):
All right? You never asked?

Speaker 4 (02:11):
No.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Do you ask about people's pet names?

Speaker 7 (02:13):
I do.

Speaker 4 (02:14):
Anytime somebody tells me what they name their pet, I say,
let's have a seat, because I'd like to get to
the bottom of this. Is it possible that I ask
too many questions? Because a lot of time it was
a rhetorical question. Mary, that was another question, but rhetorical
I'll ask people. I'll say, how did you arrive at that?

(02:35):
And then they'll stare at me like, I don't know, dude,
Can I just check out here at the grocery store.
Oh yeah, sure, Okay, because you know dog culture. I
say dog because that's mostly what I see. I don't
think people are walking their cats around on leashes and things.

Speaker 5 (02:50):
It's mostly dogs.

Speaker 4 (02:51):
But boy, dogs in public culture has really skyrocketed. And
I don't know if that was an attempt to bring
people back into the retails after COVID or what, but boy,
you can't there were always places that were pet friendly,
but it seems like there's more and more places where,
even if it doesn't seem to be an official thing,

(03:12):
they kind of look the other way. Maybe it's because
of the rise in which I'm sure is partly due
to COVID, but the rise in emotional support animals.

Speaker 5 (03:22):
But there's a lot of places now where people are just.

Speaker 7 (03:25):
Walking around with their dog and you're like, okay, not,
I love dogs, right, they don't bother me.

Speaker 5 (03:30):
I don't bother them. But it is weird.

Speaker 4 (03:32):
You know there's places that'll have like dog brunch or whatever,
and you know, dogs nestled under the table while you're eating,
and people gonna have arguments about whether or not pets
in in a restaurant or a good thing or not.
But I mean you're walking through like target, and there's
a guy there. You know, you come around the corner
and there's a guy with like a just a good
boys there while this guy is trying to figure out

(03:53):
he's really you can smell the wood burn, and this
guy's standing there trying to figure out what color post
it notes best represent his personality.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
It's a big decision.

Speaker 4 (04:04):
It's amazing the lengths to which people will go to
make decisions on the most irrelevant, mundane things, but really
big things.

Speaker 5 (04:13):
Who knows.

Speaker 4 (04:14):
They don't seem to put as much time in there,
but you know, it's a world of choices. And this
guy that I'm conjuring in my mind right now is
really really agonizing over the color of post its.

Speaker 5 (04:26):
I go for yellow. I'm an og guy.

Speaker 7 (04:29):
You give me that.

Speaker 4 (04:31):
Yellow post it classic Canary, and I'm there. But this
guy was standing there literally because I was getting a
new thing of pens and there was a.

Speaker 7 (04:43):
Guy in the aisle.

Speaker 4 (04:44):
He's literally standing there thumb and forefinger stroking his chin
and trying to figure out standing there in front of
what is not a wide array of colors but more
than one. So fundamentally, there's a choice there to make
But when you think of post it notes, what colors
do you think?

Speaker 7 (05:04):
Think of yellow? What else is there?

Speaker 2 (05:09):
Pink?

Speaker 4 (05:09):
Green, there's pink. You're getting all of them. Yeah, you're
getting all of them. And I was for a second
pretending to linger on my pen choice. I knew exactly
what penn I wanted. I can make a beeline, go
get it, and I'm out. But I was I was
curious which way this guy was going to go. But

(05:30):
I would have had to have lingered so long that
it would have been really obvious what was happening. And
I didn't want to, you know, I didn't want to
shadow the guy or anything. But the dog sitting there
the whole time. If that had been my dog, she
would have been straining at the leash, trying to get
me out of that goddamn aisle. But this dog just
sat there, so probably maybe used to this guy taking

(05:54):
a long time on really really mundane choices.

Speaker 5 (05:56):
I don't know.

Speaker 7 (05:58):
Alan.

Speaker 4 (05:58):
I was at Harbor Freight and somebody had a donkey
in there emotional support donkey. Maybe Harbor Freight. It feels
like a place you're gonna see a donkey. You go
to Farm and Fleet, you go to Harbor freight. You
go to trucking company, those places. I find myself in
those places a lot. I've never seen a donkey, but
I would.

Speaker 7 (06:18):
I don't know.

Speaker 9 (06:19):
Maybe they needed to have the donkey there so they
could load up its back and see how much it
could carry.

Speaker 5 (06:23):
Oh you think so, yeah, this is a beast of
burden in your mind.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
They're like, hey, now what they've been used for?

Speaker 5 (06:29):
They surely have. Yeah, yeah, was it an amish person
using it?

Speaker 7 (06:33):
Maybe they didn't.

Speaker 5 (06:34):
Say, didn't say Allen?

Speaker 7 (06:39):
My name?

Speaker 4 (06:39):
Are named their new dog Obama, and listening to him
yell at the dog is the most troubling and funny
thing ever.

Speaker 5 (06:47):
Obamba.

Speaker 4 (06:48):
Yeah, hey, could you bring me my slippers and the
morning paper?

Speaker 7 (06:52):
That's just how white folks will do you.

Speaker 5 (06:55):
That's right, mister president.

Speaker 7 (06:57):
Can't seem some little unfair?

Speaker 10 (06:59):
Did You can watch our live stream, but.

Speaker 7 (07:02):
We can't see you. But we'll fix that tonight.

Speaker 10 (07:09):
Outside your window seven double mmax?

Speaker 5 (07:18):
Yeah, how are we looking today? On the live stream?

Speaker 4 (07:22):
I haven't gotten the good there's me, where's Billy, there's Billy.

Speaker 7 (07:26):
There's Mary Lynn.

Speaker 4 (07:28):
Well, gosh, all right, she's got her sorry, she's got
her showface on I don't hear her.

Speaker 5 (07:34):
She's I think she's on the bonus.

Speaker 7 (07:36):
Oh yeah, all right, well where she is?

Speaker 5 (07:40):
You got your show face on?

Speaker 11 (07:41):
Hi?

Speaker 9 (07:41):
Sorry, It's Brian's birthday today, so he was on his
break at work and FaceTime me.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
So happy birthday, Brian and.

Speaker 4 (07:50):
My ex wife's birthday today. Oh, I texted her.

Speaker 7 (07:54):
I always do.

Speaker 4 (07:55):
I'm like, I don't want to be a dick. You know,
it's her birthday. We have children, yeah, you know, but
but we don't really converse that much anymore when the
kids are younger all the time.

Speaker 5 (08:08):
Yeah, but we don't really have to talk anymore.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
It's a polite thing to do.

Speaker 4 (08:12):
Well, I mean, it's whatever, you know. I mean, it's
her birthday and it's in my calendar, and she's older
than me, so oh, I go, hey, how about this
old bitch? Not even that now, listen, it's that's all
such ancient history, you know that.

Speaker 5 (08:30):
I feel like it's the nice thing to do.

Speaker 4 (08:33):
Yeah, And I'm not always, you know, I'm not always
consistently considerate, but there it is. Okay, so collectively we
can say, well that we all look all right today.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
Oh yeah, okay, is that what you were saying?

Speaker 5 (08:46):
Well, yeah, I said.

Speaker 4 (08:47):
The sweep where I play on the way back is
a little goof on how you know people can watch
us but we can't see them. And I was like,
how do we look today? And I'm a little slovenly today?
But Bill looks all right and you look like you
have your show face on.

Speaker 2 (08:58):
I do.

Speaker 9 (08:58):
I have two shows tonight. I'm at Side Comedy Club
at seven.

Speaker 5 (09:02):
And then oh, it's Tim Tuo's birthday today too. Oh geez,
that's a good birthday.

Speaker 7 (09:07):
That's a good birthday guy. Oh and my friend Eric.

Speaker 4 (09:12):
Why do you say it like that, your friend? You
seem sheepish about your friend Eric. I just I forgot
it was a birthday. Well you did Mike Head's birthdays today?

Speaker 5 (09:21):
Oh my goodness.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
September. This time in September is like the most.

Speaker 4 (09:26):
So many birthdays September twenty sixth, twenty twenty four. All right,
well there's all that. We've got them all covered. You
are Cleveland Guardians do it again. Last night against the Reds.
I heard Stansbury talking about they ruined a perfect game
for these guys or what do they do?

Speaker 5 (09:40):
Okay, So.

Speaker 7 (09:43):
It's a it was like a collective perfect game, so
they you know, it wasn't the first picture like pitching
a whole perfect.

Speaker 4 (09:50):
I certainly didn't think so, yeah, it was like I
would have seen that there.

Speaker 7 (09:54):
Was a bullpen pictures in there, so like, I don't
even care about that. Who in baseball people like they bunted.
They're trying to play baseball, right, Yeah, Like I don't,
I don't. Oh yeah, I don't think he was Rules
of baseball are some of the dumbest things I've ever
heard in my entire life, because it's within the rules

(10:15):
of the game, right, So you're like, oh, if someone
put it a perfect game, you don't bunt. It's like,
and you're trying to win the game, you bunt.

Speaker 12 (10:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (10:24):
Sometimes I don't think he was being a purist about it.
But that was all that I had heard mentioned about that.
But Guardians five to two over the Reds. They beat
him in the two times that they played him this week,
and a win is a win is a win.

Speaker 5 (10:36):
I don't understand that either.

Speaker 4 (10:37):
When they're like, you know, it feels so old tiny,
like all the people in the stands should still be
in suits or something, and they're like, well, there's gentlemanly
ways to like what these are millionaires who are playing. Okay,
it's not you know, it's not nineteen oh five anymore.
You try to win now Again, this late in the
season might be inconsequential.

Speaker 5 (10:58):
We touched on this yesterday. Consequently, trying to get that
first seed. You said, you're trying.

Speaker 7 (11:01):
To win ball games. Yeah, I mean the Guardians were
trying to win and the Reds have nothing to really
play for. But you still go out there and go, eh,
I'm gonna try and score. You know, they're competitive. You
know what I would tell these guys, lay it down.

Speaker 4 (11:15):
You know what I would tell these guys if I
had their collective ears, I would say, guys.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
Let's just have fun.

Speaker 13 (11:23):
Let's good night.

Speaker 7 (11:23):
It doesn't matter if you want to lose.

Speaker 4 (11:25):
It's how you pull You're right in the summary, it's
how you play the game.

Speaker 7 (11:29):
Let's get out there and have fun.

Speaker 4 (11:31):
You're getting paid millions of dollars to play a children's game.

Speaker 5 (11:34):
Let's just have fun. Anyway, Guardians are off tonight.

Speaker 4 (11:37):
They'll get back to it tomorrow night, final three games
of the regular season before they get into October ball.
Tomorrow night, last three games against the Astros seven to ten,
is the first pitch. Tomorrow is Friday. Keep reminding myself
all day long, I've been a day ahead. Today is Thursday,
Tomorrow will be Friday.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
And then we're off next week.

Speaker 5 (11:57):
We are off next Thursday and Friday.

Speaker 4 (12:00):
The first game of the postseason with the Guardians. First
two games will be here at Progressive Field Saturday and Monday,
and we don't know obviously who they'll be playing. A
game three will be next Wednesday, the ninth, and then
they'll go from there. That's how that schedule is laying out.

(12:22):
They are auctioning shoe Otani's ball. I believe that is
today the ball that put him in the fifty to
fifty club.

Speaker 5 (12:34):
They say could go for millions of dollars.

Speaker 4 (12:36):
About twenty five years ago, somebody paid three million dollars
for a Mark McGuire ball when he hit his seventieth
home run, and at the time that was a record sale.
Three million dollars, was the spawn guy, Todd McFarlane, you're right, yep,
And so they are going to be yeah, well they

(12:59):
both have a lot of money, so that three million
dollars will be a rounding error probably with their accountants.
But so, yeah, he is the only Major League Baseball
player in that fifty to fifty club, which as we established,
is soda related bill fifty home runs, fifty stolen bases.

Speaker 5 (13:18):
Pardon me, no, I know the joke. He doesn't like
the joke.

Speaker 7 (13:24):
The joke.

Speaker 5 (13:25):
It's not about the pop.

Speaker 7 (13:26):
It's about the joke, nothing to do with the beverage.

Speaker 5 (13:32):
But try find in fifty to fifty, mayor. I know.

Speaker 4 (13:37):
That's why I still My grandpa drank squirt and that
began my lifelong love of squirt in any phom, in
any capacity whatsoever. If it's the pop, all the better.
A little bit twins of grapefruit there anyway. Shoe Aotani's ball,
the opening bid is five hundred thousand dollars, but obviously

(13:59):
they probably if you go to that website, there's probably
a buy it now button and you could just scoop
it up for I'm sure what will be more than
three million dollars. Of course, it was a game ball, right,
so it's got some scuffs on it, so I know
that it hasn't been swapped out or anything. The last
day of the auction will be October the ninth, so

(14:20):
you'll have a little under two weeks. If you are
somebody who's got millions of dollars burning a hole in
your pocket, and you're a baseball officionado, this might be
worth you looking into. The Golden Auction House is based
there in Jersey, and they're going to start taking bids.
So the last day of the auction is October ninth.

(14:42):
Auctions at that level will do something called extended bidding,
so like a week beyond that they'll have you know.
But obviously this is a one of a kind ball. Now,
there was a little bit of controversy with the guy
who got the ball, the dude who stripped it from
the hands of a kid who was back there, and
that kid is suing.

Speaker 5 (15:03):
By the way, Now, I don't know, this should be
no problem case.

Speaker 4 (15:09):
I don't know what you're suing for. I mean, it
really would suck to be in that situation and have
some dude just rip it out of your hands. But
it's a scrum because dudes know this is a multimillion
dollar ball and they don't care that some kid had
it first.

Speaker 7 (15:24):
Well maybe not multimillion, but like multi thousand, one hundred thousand,
five hundred six hundred, right.

Speaker 5 (15:30):
For this ball.

Speaker 4 (15:31):
Yeah, then they say, well, it's starting a five hundred thousand,
but well the opening bid, But I mean, I'm sure
it'll be No.

Speaker 7 (15:36):
I don't think I'll get up to maybe maybe a million,
but not a multi million. Oh really, no, Oh.

Speaker 4 (15:41):
You don't think this is a bigger deal than Mark
McGuire's seventieth home run.

Speaker 7 (15:45):
I think it is, but I don't. I just don't
think it's gonna get that high. Okay, because also this
is the ball where he sets the record, but it's
also he's still playing, so there's still gonna be like
the final ball, like the final home run of the season.

Speaker 5 (16:03):
I think is going to be the bigger one. You mean,
when he breaks his own record.

Speaker 7 (16:07):
He's already broken it three times since then.

Speaker 5 (16:09):
Okay, he's gotten three more home runs.

Speaker 7 (16:10):
He's like got fifty three home runs right now.

Speaker 4 (16:14):
But if you break your own record, I mean, is
that well anyway, I guess they'll figure it out. But
that we showed you the video the day that had happened,
after it happened, and they were you know, it goes
right out into the club seats, I think, or they
were in a suite or something, and so already people
who are having a good time at the ball game, right,
they're not up there in the bleachers, and this kid

(16:35):
seemed to have it and then it was stripped away.
And that kid, I call him kid. He's eighteen, he's
a legal man. He's filed a lawsuit against the older
guy who stripped that ball away. He's suing to prevent
the auction from taking place because he believes that the
ball was stolen from him. Now to your point, good
luck with all that. It's more a case of sour

(16:57):
grapes than anything else. But he has filed in Dade County, Florida,
and you know, I can't imagine this is anything that's
going to be at the top of the docket anytime soon,
even though the auction is ready to start. But the
kid says that he was able to firmly grab the
ball in his left hand, and you know, possession is

(17:20):
nine tenths of the law. And this is a kid
named Max Matus, eighteen years old, and so he's hoping
to get some satisfaction out of this because the dude
who got the ball like split. You know, you catch
a ball like that, and people they're in the park
with the organization immediately try to buy it from you,

(17:43):
and people go, nope, I'm going to get the hell
out of here. And so I'm sure these guys will
have all kinds of video exhibits A and B to
show clearly and again it's just going to be off
of somebody's phone. But you know, if it's not going
to fetch let's say it fetches a million dollars. Now,
this kid's not out anything. He didn't have a million

(18:04):
dollars before, and he didn't have the ball before he
had it and then seconds later.

Speaker 7 (18:10):
But if he didn't have it again, yeah, but if
he had in his hand, yeah, I mean the guy
did steal it from He.

Speaker 4 (18:16):
Claims that the guy who got it wrapped his legs
around this kid's arm and then used his hands to
wrangle the ball out of the kid's hands.

Speaker 7 (18:25):
There's actually audio of people cheering him on, telling him
how to hold on to this ball. I just sent
it to you, Alan, Oh you did, yeah, Okay, find
this here? Oh is this breaking news on the.

Speaker 10 (18:41):
Firmly grasp in your hair, firmly grasprit.

Speaker 14 (18:53):
Firmly grasp writ it.

Speaker 4 (19:00):
Oh poor squiddy, it never goes well for him, all right.
So along those lines, very similar to that firmly grasp
it in your hand.

Speaker 5 (19:09):
But that kid is I don't know what he's hoping
to get out of it.

Speaker 7 (19:11):
I mean, it's gonna cost you money to file the laws.
But if he gets the ball, if he's not going
to get the ball, right, But if he gets the ball,
then he gets a lot of money. So he ain't
gonna get it. We'll see, all right, we'll sneave it
up to the courts.

Speaker 15 (19:25):
Yeah, those awesome courts down there in Florida. No, just
all over the world, right, yeah, I mean the court's
in Missouri, real cool place there.

Speaker 5 (19:36):
What are they doing putting people to death anymore?

Speaker 7 (19:39):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (19:39):
The innocent guy? Is that in Missouri? I was thinking
it was Tennessee or Missouri? Oh okay, right.

Speaker 5 (19:44):
The prosecutor said we might have information that could.

Speaker 7 (19:47):
Yeah, he looks like this guy probably didn't do it.
And there supreme courts like death anyway.

Speaker 4 (19:56):
So why did the I saw those headlines that didn't
really dig into it.

Speaker 5 (20:01):
Why this was Oklahoma?

Speaker 7 (20:04):
I believe? Is this the guy you're talking about? Oh?

Speaker 5 (20:08):
No, this is another guy.

Speaker 7 (20:09):
You know.

Speaker 4 (20:09):
This country puts so many people to death that it's
hard to keep up with what.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
It was Marcellus Williams.

Speaker 7 (20:16):
Okay, the guy from pulp fiction, Marcellus wallas Ah.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
Despite prosecutors believing he's innocent.

Speaker 7 (20:24):
I see, well, they asked you for at like, they're like, hey,
we are requesting that this man has not put to.

Speaker 4 (20:32):
Death, everybody involved to commute his Yeah. But they they
weren't saying he was innocent. They were saying that he
they wanted him to get life in prison, not executed.
The calls were to put him on on on to
commute his execution to life in prison, not that he

(20:54):
was innocent.

Speaker 7 (20:55):
He was convicted of the crime. They saying, we have information. Okay, yes,
from what I understand, there was enough evidence that would
exonerate him in Icy should not have been put to down.

Speaker 4 (21:12):
It was found guilty despite the fact that his DNA
didn't match evidence recovered from the crime scene, saying that
it was oh.

Speaker 9 (21:20):
My god, I just write a hold on contamination of
a murder murder weapon prior to trial and bias in
the jury selection.

Speaker 7 (21:28):
I see.

Speaker 5 (21:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (21:29):
I mean smaller cases than a capital murder case have
been changed because of technicalities. You know, people have been
frustrated by those things. For a long, long time. I
mean ever since the introduction of DNA into the criminal
justice process. Yeah, I know I saw those headlines, but
I really didn't dig too much into it.

Speaker 5 (21:52):
Well that's Missouri. I'll tell you what.

Speaker 4 (21:56):
They If you are a pregnant woman, they'll certainly let
you die before anything happens to save your life.

Speaker 5 (22:04):
But they love putting people to death. A lot of
states do.

Speaker 4 (22:07):
They're going to put a dude to death in Nebraska somewhere.
He's going to be like the second dude that they
put to death with nitrogen, Like nitrogen gas is how
they're going to.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
Huh isn't nitrogen?

Speaker 11 (22:21):
Uh?

Speaker 7 (22:22):
Life And guess no, that's nitrous oxide. Yeah, nitrogen gas
in Alabama. You know, again, we've talked about this a
lot of states.

Speaker 4 (22:33):
There's such a dearth of access to like these lethal
injection drugs.

Speaker 5 (22:37):
They've had to get creative.

Speaker 4 (22:39):
We are nothing if not creative when it comes to
ways to kill people in this country of capital punishment.
Only we could harness that creativity in other ways. This
guy's been on death row for twenty five years. Workplace shooting.
This guy went into an office and killed three people,
and a lot of times when they get creative. The

(23:03):
arguments are that it amounts to cruel and unusual punishment.
They're like, it's too much to have these people thrashing
around or using thing methods that are largely untested but
that a lot of times falls on deaf ears. So
this guy is going to be the second guy there
in the state of Alabama to be executed with nitrogen gas.

(23:25):
And they said inhaling one hundred percent nitrogen gas is
nothing short of state sanctioned torture.

Speaker 7 (23:32):
Again, a lot of this.

Speaker 4 (23:35):
Hypoxia, yeah, along those lines, but it really does. People
have a hard time drumming up sympathy for people who
you know, murdered other people.

Speaker 7 (23:44):
I guess.

Speaker 4 (23:46):
So it just comes down to the where people are
on capital punishment in general. I suppose, Hey, I know it.
It'll make you feel good, Okay, Brian, Yeah, right, some
name that tune with Brian, Let's do it. I got
about a dozen voicemails from Brian this morning between six
fifteen and six forty five.

Speaker 5 (24:07):
He was on fire.

Speaker 7 (24:09):
I was driving around with my buddy today, he's in
town to do some comedy, and we were just listening
to like classic rock songs because that's the kind of
dude he is. And every time a song that Brian
plays ago, oh it's a Brian song, He's like, what
am I? It's a thing?

Speaker 5 (24:27):
Yeah, well you're dirty Laundry.

Speaker 7 (24:28):
Yeah, Laundry is the exact one. Yeah, Ryan, Bryan, Right, yeah,
that's not the one. I got so many of them. Here,
where's best of Brian.

Speaker 5 (24:37):
It's yeah, dirty Laundry is the one that came on.

Speaker 9 (24:46):
It.

Speaker 7 (24:50):
Now.

Speaker 5 (24:50):
The one he left me this morning is from another Eagle.

Speaker 7 (24:53):
Oh all right, yep, you hear say. It's just bear
but still you gott.

Speaker 5 (25:02):
And make Up by Glenn Fry, the late great Glenn Fry.
What a great song. Remember this song Night.

Speaker 4 (25:14):
Marywood nineteen eighty two three I think Okay, so this
was like a top five song for Glenn Fry. His
first solo album after leaving the Eagles was Now.

Speaker 5 (25:29):
Maybe they were Soil Together.

Speaker 7 (25:30):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (25:30):
His first solo album. He was keeping that sweaty sax
alive boy.

Speaker 7 (25:34):
In the eighties.

Speaker 4 (25:34):
Glenn Fry, Oh you belong to the City and the
one you love and Bloody Sacks was strong, fantatastic. Yep,
what a great song.

Speaker 7 (25:45):
Love it.

Speaker 5 (25:46):
Thank you Brian for reminding me of this song.

Speaker 4 (25:49):
Glenn Fry's first solo album was called No Fun Allowed Aloud.
It was somebody cover this song. Probably it's a great song.
I don't know, I don't know, but thank you Brian.
He left me, and again when he leaves me a
ton of messages, I do go.

Speaker 7 (26:07):
Through them because some of them are just nonsense and
some of them are fun, and some of them are making.

Speaker 4 (26:16):
The one you Love I think, is the name of
that song. It was on Glenn Fryes for Sola. Of
course Glenn Frye has he's been dead for a few
years now, but he was awesome. Love the Eagles, Love
Glenn Frye. He would do some acting.

Speaker 7 (26:26):
You know.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
He'd show up in movies. He was in Miami Vice
back in the day. I think he was in Guy
What was he in? Where he played like a was
he in any given Sunday? He's like the owner of
the team or something. He would show up in movies
and you go ahead, it's Glenn fry But he's been
he's been dead for a few years now. Twenty sixteen
he died Pride of Detroit, Michigan.

Speaker 5 (26:48):
Let's not pretend any.

Speaker 7 (26:50):
Of this make Si, I don't understand any of this.

Speaker 11 (26:54):
Alosha on the buzzerumms in Springfield.

Speaker 7 (26:59):
They're eating the dogs. They're eating the cats.

Speaker 3 (27:05):
They're eating the pens of.

Speaker 6 (27:07):
The people that live there. They're eating the dogs. They're
eating the cats. They're eating the pens of the people.

Speaker 12 (27:17):
That live there.

Speaker 5 (27:20):
They're eating the dogs.

Speaker 7 (27:28):
Boy, this thing blew up.

Speaker 5 (27:29):
Have you seen this on YouTube? They I think I've
heard it on kiktok, but I don't think it's This.

Speaker 4 (27:36):
Artist is a guy from South Africa who put this
song together, a little reggae riff on guy named David Scott.

Speaker 5 (27:43):
They're eating the cats, They're eating.

Speaker 4 (27:48):
He got about nine million views in about a week,
and he is donating donating all the streaming revenue to
the Clark County ASPCA right there in Springfield, Ohio. So
that thing really really blew up a little taste of
it there. He said that he does a lot of

(28:08):
feel good songs traditionally about pets and children, because he
said those are two things that tend to unite people.
But obviously the Trump thing, because that's raw meat for
a lot of people, blew right up. People of Springfield,
Please don't eat my cat. I kind of removed the
singing part of him because I liked the music part more.

(28:29):
But David Scott, he goes by the kiffness, which that's
probably some South African slang or something like that.

Speaker 7 (28:36):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (28:38):
But he tours and he premiered the song at one
of his concerts in Paris. Imagine you go see this guy, like,
I've never heard this guy before, but you're somebody in
France who has heard of this guy and is a
big fan, and you go see him.

Speaker 5 (28:55):
And premieres that one right there.

Speaker 4 (29:00):
Anyway, stream it and the money that he gets you'll
contribute to the Springfield, Ohio Clark County, ASPCA.

Speaker 5 (29:08):
Maybe it'll be on jukeboxes or so.

Speaker 4 (29:10):
I was reading to think about a guy who got
these people to get killed because somebody else didn't like
their pick on the jukebox. Have you ever stood in
front of a jukebox? Because now you don't have to
stand there feeding, you know, bills into it.

Speaker 5 (29:21):
You can do it on an app.

Speaker 7 (29:24):
You know.

Speaker 4 (29:25):
Have you ever stood in a crowded bar and you're
getting ready to take control of.

Speaker 5 (29:29):
The jukebox because now you can just just go on
the app. Now you go on the app.

Speaker 4 (29:33):
But also you can do play next used to be
at a weight Yeah yeah, oh yeah, they go in
the order in which they're at. Now you pay him
a couple extra tokens or whatever and plays next, or
it's supposed to.

Speaker 5 (29:43):
That's burned me on more than a few occasions. Well
somebody else did a play next before you.

Speaker 7 (29:48):
M mmm.

Speaker 4 (29:51):
So there's a lot of overlap obviously, but you have
to stand there and you go, Okay, I'm going to
play something I want to hear. But I'm not trying
to troll people with a jukebox either. That is one
thing we get people going. I want people, yes, but
also I always think of it in like venue appropriate terms,
something that's gonna look at the people who are there

(30:13):
and want them to have some fun.

Speaker 7 (30:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (30:15):
I'm not a prank guy in general.

Speaker 4 (30:19):
I find it mildly annoying, and there are people way
better at it than I am. But I don't like
the jukebox trolling where like, you're not even in the establishment,
and we all we've all probably seen videos to this effect,
but you're nearby and you'll get on the I mean,
theoretically it's funny, but it would piss me off if

(30:39):
I were there and somebody's playing a song over and
over and over again and they're not even there.

Speaker 5 (30:44):
They just go on the thing and play.

Speaker 4 (30:48):
You know, they're playing Hot Nuts over and over and
over again, right, and you're sitting there and you go, oh,
this is kind of funny, and then you hear it's
like that mullany bit where they were at the Pepper
Diner in Chicago and they were playing Tom Jones over
and over and over, and well, some people get really
really pissed off of this kind of stuff. And there

(31:09):
were a couple of dudes at a Mexican restaurant in
Fort Lauderdale. I don't think that they were friends, but
they became enemies very very quickly, and the one guy
just shot and killed the other guy right there in
front of the jukebox.

Speaker 7 (31:20):
Because even.

Speaker 4 (31:22):
Like the song fort Lauderdale one thirty in the morning,
now you got to take into extra account the time
of day, because people have probably been party and the
reason that you are in a Mexican restaurant or any
restaurant at one thirty in the morning is because you
really got to eat something because you've probably been drinking
all night.

Speaker 5 (31:44):
Now I'm wildly speculating there.

Speaker 4 (31:46):
I don't know, but this argument began in the restaurant
at one thirty am in Fort Lauderdale. There were two
guys who got into an argument because one of them
played a song in the jukebox and the other guy
was pissed off. He said, you're not a real Mexican,
two Latino guys. He goes, you're not a real Mexican

(32:06):
if you play that Efan song. These are witnesses recounting
what happened. You're not a real Mexican. The other thing
makes me mad. They never tell you the song. I
always want to know this song. They could be saving
people's lives that they tell people the song, right. I
don't know why they think that's the pertinent information and

(32:27):
not put in there. Hey, FYI, there's a guy out
there who's strapped, and witnesses were like, the guy got
pissed off and immediately pulled his gun out and the
other guy fired back. So they're just popping off at
each other. But the one guy died. They're at the jukebox.

(32:47):
No word as to whether or not they propped him up, right,
So one guy's chasing the other guy around the restaurant
and they're shooting at each other.

Speaker 5 (32:59):
And the one guy ends up dead.

Speaker 4 (33:02):
But for them to leave out the song is it's
journalistic malpractice.

Speaker 5 (33:07):
If you asked me.

Speaker 4 (33:11):
Argument occurred inside the restaurant about the music that was
coming from the jukebox. The victim is fifty four year
old Socorro Camacho and they don't have the shooter. They're
going through security footage because the guy split, so they're
trying to find this guy. But when you are again,

(33:35):
I operate as though everybody is armed now, so you
kind of if you're a juke box officionado, if you're
somebody who really considers yourself, like Bill said, you fancy
yourself a jukebox hero, boy, you got to make sure.

Speaker 5 (33:52):
Someone should write a song called jukebox hero that's pretty good.
What would it be about?

Speaker 7 (34:00):
Uh, you tell me.

Speaker 5 (34:16):
One of the live versions. They always milk it before
they get into it.

Speaker 7 (34:19):
What I know they did.

Speaker 5 (34:22):
Nineteen eighty three with his head off, could get it.

Speaker 16 (34:32):
It was total out shoulder for.

Speaker 1 (34:35):
The roll of pound.

Speaker 7 (34:37):
We could make the thing, but it Wow, he's not
gonna do that.

Speaker 4 (34:48):
That lou Graham boy, he could really belt it out.
I'm hearing that he is going to show up at
the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Foreigner getting
in in a couple of weeks. October nineteenth is that
Rock Hall induction for this class. And they've started to
trickle out the names of the people who are going
to be there because it's not just obviously the people

(35:08):
getting inducted, it's the guests and the inductors and other
people performing.

Speaker 5 (35:16):
It's going to stream live on Disney Plus. They do it.

Speaker 4 (35:19):
It's in Cleveland obviously this year, so it's over at
the Romo Fijo. It was at Public Hall for many years.
First couple of years I went was at Public Hall,
and it's here every three years and last time is here.
It was at Romo Fijo obviously when they moved it
because it's a big, big production over there. HBO did
it and now because these companies are all owned by

(35:40):
what you know, it's Disney and Hulu.

Speaker 5 (35:41):
And ABC and blah blah blah.

Speaker 4 (35:44):
But it'll be live the night of seven Eastern on
Disney Plus and then ABC chops it up and they
give you kind of a more condensed version. Sammy Hagar
will be there. He is going to be inducting of
Sammy Hagar is going to induct Jimmy Buffett.

Speaker 5 (36:04):
I believe he's dead.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
I'm sorry he's dead.

Speaker 5 (36:07):
Yes he is.

Speaker 4 (36:09):
Sammy Hagar is still Sammy Hagar is still alive. Well,
they're always possumus inductees.

Speaker 2 (36:14):
Just let them know.

Speaker 5 (36:15):
Yeah, I hope somebody told them.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
I don't know, that's what I'm saying. I don't know
if they did.

Speaker 4 (36:19):
Dua Lipa and Doctor Dre and Slash and Kenny Chesnutt.

Speaker 7 (36:24):
Is that a guy?

Speaker 4 (36:25):
Is this a misprint? Kenny Chesney? Maybe he'll put shoes
on for the night. Julia Roberts will induct the Dave
Matthews Band. The Roots will be there, Demi Levado, who
hatcha hatcha? James Taylor will be there in Jelly Roll
and Keith Urban. You know Keith Urban. He uh recently

(36:49):
blew up at the iHeartRadio Music Festival.

Speaker 5 (36:53):
I know you don't arner.

Speaker 2 (36:59):
He sounds like, but his songs are bad.

Speaker 4 (37:02):
Oh I've never heard one. At least if I heard it,
I didn't know it was him.

Speaker 2 (37:07):
You probably have.

Speaker 5 (37:08):
Does he ever have Nicole? Does he ever have his wife?

Speaker 7 (37:11):
Nicole?

Speaker 5 (37:11):
Kidman?

Speaker 4 (37:11):
On any of the tracks because she's a singer too.
I think she has sung the theme song for a
couple of her mini series. Nicole Kidman now is firmly
in the cinematic universe of Older Lady Bang's Younger Dude.

Speaker 5 (37:24):
Those are all her movies now and mini series.

Speaker 7 (37:30):
She looks good. I know, see all all worked on.

Speaker 4 (37:32):
I think Nicole Kibben looks good, like if she walked
up and was like, yes, you say yes.

Speaker 5 (37:40):
So Cher will get in.

Speaker 4 (37:43):
I think Dua Lipa is inducting Cher, Sammy Hagar will
be there, and Roger Daltrey and Slash, all these performers
very exciting.

Speaker 1 (37:54):
Mary J.

Speaker 4 (37:55):
Blige is getting inducted, and Peter Frampton and Cool and
the Gang and Dion Warwick.

Speaker 5 (38:03):
So I don't know that they do.

Speaker 4 (38:04):
I think it's been a number of years since they've
done the old all star jam at the end, but
those were fun while they lasted. So Foreigner will be
getting in there on the nineteenth. I don't know who's inducted, but.

Speaker 5 (38:21):
Anyway, there's your jukebox hero from Foreigner nineteen eighty three.

Speaker 4 (38:27):
Congratulations by the way to the Cleveland Zoo. Did you
know we had a zoo. Yeah, I did in the
metro parks, which part the zoo, part.

Speaker 5 (38:42):
This way to the zoo.

Speaker 4 (38:46):
It is that they have planted what will be the
first mini forest in a zoo in America.

Speaker 7 (38:54):
How can this be?

Speaker 4 (38:56):
How can nobody before now ever thought, hey, we should
plants a little forest in the zoo on the grounds.

Speaker 5 (39:05):
But wasn't there already kind of a forest there? Well
that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (39:09):
But I mean, listen, there's an organization called Rooted in
Trees and they're a conservationist organization, and they have planted
what will be a mini forest in the zoo, and
they're trying to restore and preserve the tree canopy in

(39:29):
this part of Ohio, and it will be the first
one in a zoo in the United States. So once again,
don't sleep on that Cleveland Zoo. We just this second
found out that that we have one. And even though
I've been there many times, I didn't realize we had that.

Speaker 5 (39:47):
I was, I go, well, don't most a Yeah, I
didn't know what was going on. This gift shop has
a lot of animals.

Speaker 4 (39:59):
Some of them are stuffed, and some of them seem
alive and ambulatory. The student Conservation Association and thirty eighth
grade students from Cleveland's Urban Community School attended the ceremony
to plant these to support the biodiversity. They planted eight

(40:23):
hundred native trees and shrubs in the space the size
of a tennis court. And this is the first zoo
in the United States, so I think, not only I
guess is it cool that it's here, but it is
Hopefully this can serve as inspiration for other zoos around

(40:43):
the country. You know, zoos need all the help they
can get because their popularity is almost solely contingent on
having a superstar animal. If you don't have a superstar animal,
you've got to have the first of something, or you
got to have the you know, you zoos around this
country that when you go there, you're like, what is
happening here? If you ever go to the Seattle Zoo,

(41:06):
you go, what is happening here? But the Cleveland Zoo
Cincinnati they got that famous hippo. They got that baby
hippo moodang No, no, not moo dang. He played for
the bulls. I'm sorry, yeah, where is that hippo? I
see the headlines about this is Korea or at least

(41:30):
an Asian country. Ah, but I love moodang.

Speaker 5 (41:36):
I mean, I know Fion is the one at the
Cincinnati Zoo.

Speaker 7 (41:40):
Yeah, like a hippo, but.

Speaker 4 (41:44):
Yeah, it's it's inspirational, right m hm for other zoos
to look at this and say, oh my goodness, good
for them. Al And I bet that song was despa
Sito that got that guy killed. You're not a real
Mexican if you like Desposito would be the well, but
the guy that did Desposito, he wasn't.

Speaker 5 (42:06):
Mexican, was he wasn't It wasn't that a biaber song.

Speaker 4 (42:10):
Well that was a collab, but it was Louis Fonsie
or one of those guys which is one of Henry
Winkler's alterato. No, yeah, Desposito is a Louis Fonsie song
and he's Puerto Rican. Don't call a Puerto Rican guy Mexican.
That will get you shot. I think they threw Bieber
in to get people to pay attention to it stateside.

(42:31):
But it's a good song. I mean, you hear it
without Bieber and you're like, oh, this song's great song. Alan,
I like to take over the Touchtnes and play an
hour and a half of Wesley Willis see this I'm
talking about.

Speaker 5 (42:45):
Don't do that because you're gonna.

Speaker 17 (42:46):
Get it looks like a right, there's something about your mulley,
got up the hair, clipless jerk.

Speaker 4 (42:54):
Yeah, imagine this for ninety minutes. You can't play this
at the Parma tavern, all right, I mean disrespectful. Now
if I'm there doing the Coxow pregame, of course, I'm
gonna love Wesley Willis r I P.

Speaker 7 (43:13):
Yeah, I'm gonna take up looking like an asshole.

Speaker 4 (43:27):
He's trying to tell you that if you've got a mullet,
you should probably cut it.

Speaker 7 (43:31):
But he's not.

Speaker 5 (43:34):
Alive to tell you anymore. And that's how one person
may interpret it. I think it's more abstract than that.

Speaker 4 (43:42):
Tom and Cannon said he used to play a nineteen
minute version of a Grateful Dead song to troll people
on the jukebox. You know, Phil Hanley is gonna be
here a little bit later on. He's doing the weekend
at Hilarities, and he's a huge Grateful Dead fan. But
even I wouldn't play a nineteen minute version of the
song and then start talking to him. Maybe I should
do that, right, have a conversation off the air well.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
The grateful Yeah, yeah, to interview.

Speaker 5 (44:08):
Alan, I'm guilty of that.

Speaker 4 (44:09):
I played in Agatadavita seven times, and I don't feel
bad because the owner of the bar is a real prick.

Speaker 7 (44:14):
Then why are you at the bar?

Speaker 4 (44:16):
Tried to hit me and I'm a chick who's five
feet one. Well, I assume that maybe this is a
case where you're not there. You're doing it from the
app somewhere else, like you can do right nearby. Yeah,
it's like grinder for jukeboxes. Hey, is it jukebox five
hundred yards from you? Cincinnati Zoo also had Harambe. Is

(44:39):
that where Harambe was? Oh, I don't remember that. I
know that was seven years ago, but I just saw
something pop up about Harambe. But I guess I didn't
realize it was at the Cincinnati Zoo. Cincinnati, but you know,
Cleveland Zoo had the Baby Gorilla and now it's got
the Mini Forest and it's it's on the come up.

Speaker 5 (44:56):
The hippo is in Thailand. People are so okay, lou
all cute. Dan, I'm sorry, bouncy. Is that what they
call the hippo?

Speaker 4 (45:08):
See, that's another animals are so cute when they're small,
but then like hippo is the most it's the deadliest
animal on the planet. Right, I know it's cute. Oh
so it's only going to get so big is a regular,
so not as dangerous. It's like when you're watching that
chimp crazy thing over an HBO. These people that they

(45:31):
gotta they treat chimps like their children. They're super cute
when they're little, and then they grow into giant, potentially
murderous animals. They're just really strong, and you know if
you set them off, So all right, well, if this
hippo is going to top out at a couple of feet,

(45:53):
can't really do too much damage.

Speaker 8 (45:56):
Some people say our country is more divided than ever,
but don't ask him.

Speaker 7 (46:01):
He sucks it mad Allan Cox On one.

Speaker 10 (46:04):
D point seven WMMS, an old cowboy went riding up.

Speaker 1 (46:18):
One dark and windy day.

Speaker 7 (46:22):
A call the rich.

Speaker 1 (46:23):
He rested as he went along this way.

Speaker 7 (46:29):
When all that wants a.

Speaker 8 (46:30):
Mighty heard of red eyed POWs he saw flowing through
the ragged skies. Then up the floudy drove. Their brands
were still on fire, and.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
Their hoops were made of steave.

Speaker 5 (46:50):
Their horns were black and shiny, and their.

Speaker 1 (46:52):
Hot breath he could feed.

Speaker 8 (46:56):
A bolt of fear went through him lest they thundlered.
This guy boy saw the riders come in Hawe Andy
heard their more pride.

Speaker 7 (47:10):
Get the riders.

Speaker 5 (47:24):
Guy Well, Johnny Cash from I don't know when he
did this.

Speaker 4 (47:30):
Ghost Riders in the Sky was a song from the
forties that got covered a billion times. Roy Clark did it,
and Von Monroe did it, and burl Ives did it.
Johnny Cash. There's a new statue of Johnny Cash at
the US Capitol, so you know, if there's another January
sixth or something, somebody can run off with Johnny Cash's head.

(47:53):
Here go the first musician to ever be honored with
a statue in the US Capitol. I guess they've got
this collection where each state donates statues to honor notable figures,
and Johnny Cash very prominent. You know, he's been dead
for twenty years, but I mean he's in the hall there.

(48:14):
I wonder who Ohio rendered in statues. I wonder who
the notable figures. You think it feels a little too contemporary.
Could you imagine if everybody else is sending, like, you know,
giants of art and culture and maybe people who were
instrumental in moving the body politic forward from their states.

(48:36):
And Ohio sends machine gun, Kelly. I mean they unveil
the unveil a giant bronze statue of the Black Keys.

Speaker 9 (48:46):
But we couldn't even handle giving bone thugs a street
signs right stolen?

Speaker 4 (48:51):
So you imagine if the sign that was stolen shows
up in the US Capitol to do the old switcherood.
Johnny Cash Bull born in Kingsland, Arkansas, in nineteen thirty two.
Born during the Great Depression, and people think of him
as a country artist obviously, but he really did a
lot of different things. So I'll tell you what you

(49:13):
want to talk about. Pop culture figures who embodied the
contradictions of human beings.

Speaker 11 (49:22):
Right.

Speaker 4 (49:22):
He was a guy who considered himself a man of faith.
He was felt very powerful in his Christian convictions. But
he was a drug addict, and he was a philanderer,
and he was all these things, you know, depending on
which of his kids you talked to. He was a
terrible father, but revered as an artist. And people contain

(49:45):
so many contradictions in and of themselves that Johnny Cash
is emblematic of that. So the bronze statue as Johnny
Cash with his guitarist slung across his back and a
Bible in his hand, and I have to think.

Speaker 5 (50:03):
Song in his heart.

Speaker 4 (50:07):
So now, I really Johnny Cash is the one getting
the lion's share of the publicity on this.

Speaker 7 (50:11):
But I really want to know.

Speaker 5 (50:14):
Who Ohio sent rescal flats?

Speaker 7 (50:17):
Are they from?

Speaker 5 (50:18):
O Columbus?

Speaker 9 (50:19):
Right? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (50:22):
Statues at the Capitol. I guess this is something I
could have looked at earlier, but it didn't occur to me.
Thomas Edison has a statue. There aren't there like half
a dozen states that claimed Thomas Edison for something. There's
a statue of James Abram Garfield. Uh okay, John Glenn, Well,

(50:45):
that's at the Ohio State House. Yeah, talking about the
US Capitol. That's where the I'm sorry, yes he is.
This is why mayor does the science fair. Yeah, because
she knows all the science, all of the science. She knows,
John Glenn, she knows who else do you know from

(51:07):
the Space Program? You know Alan Shepherd?

Speaker 2 (51:10):
Yeah? Do you know?

Speaker 7 (51:12):
Boy?

Speaker 5 (51:13):
Who else would you know?

Speaker 2 (51:14):
That girl they sent up with one hundred tampons?

Speaker 5 (51:17):
I'm sorry, one hundred to check up with.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
One hundred tampons for like a week.

Speaker 7 (51:22):
Oh yeah, I got you.

Speaker 5 (51:23):
Yeah, yeah, that was very very recent. Yeah, John Glenn.

Speaker 2 (51:29):
Okay Aldridge, Aldrin Buzz.

Speaker 7 (51:35):
Nope, first one counts Buzz. Aldridge.

Speaker 5 (51:40):
That was the guy who would punch you in the
face if you said.

Speaker 7 (51:42):
Anything to him.

Speaker 5 (51:43):
Do you know anything you said that they picked the Moonland?

Speaker 7 (51:46):
Well, if you said the wrong thing, like hey, you
sucked on Dancing with the Star anybody, he'll lay you out.

Speaker 5 (51:51):
There's a lot of people that if you say the
wrong thing to him, they'll punch you in the face.

Speaker 7 (51:54):
You think so, You might be right. Some people are
quick to anger. But everybody's got that one thing that
you pushed.

Speaker 5 (52:02):
You have something where if somebody said it to you,
you'd punch them. Yeah, said, punch me in the face.

Speaker 4 (52:07):
I would politely decline, Yeah, all right, I can't imagine.
You know, some people are just that way. I don't
believe that they're you know, Oh, there's this one thing.
I think people either are that way or they're not
that way, and some people are just itching. To punch
somebody in the face doesn't take much. Now, do you know, Mary,

(52:29):
what John Glenn was famous for within the Space program astronauts.
He was famous, of course for astronautism. Yes, he had kids,
so he was famous for more than a few isms.
But he was the first American to orbit the planet?
Is John Glenn and buzz Aldridge? Uh, he was part

(52:53):
of that whole thing too. He's part of the space program. Okay,
So I don't know who the Ohio statues are there
at the US Capitol. There might be a history buff
who's listening who can tell me. I would assume Ohio
is the statue of Neil Armstrong. Yeah, I think that
ours are probably space related, right, space oriented? Thomas Edison, Yeah,

(53:19):
mentioned that, you know, but yeah, born in Ohio. But
there's all kinds of you know, if people move, they
claim them, you know, right brothers.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
Right they were born here, but they yeah, yeah they're.

Speaker 5 (53:35):
In the right Air Force base is named after them?

Speaker 11 (53:38):
Right?

Speaker 4 (53:39):
Well, then like South Carolina where Kitty Hawk they yeah,
they claim them.

Speaker 5 (53:42):
Is that where Kitty Hawk is?

Speaker 2 (53:43):
One is birthplace of aviation? One is first in flight,
The Carolina's first in flight?

Speaker 5 (53:48):
Yep, were the birthplace of aviation.

Speaker 4 (53:50):
The competing license plates, Boy, you don't want to get
into a license plate war with another state right now,
because they change them, and you've got to make sure
that you are staying abreast of what those say, you know,
like if you see a car from Maine, the license

(54:12):
plate will say vacation Land, which is so vague and
it has to be factually incorrect. How many people are
planning their vacation to Maine right now. When I lived
in Pennsylvania, they still had the license plates that said
you've got a friend in Pennsylvania.

Speaker 5 (54:33):
I thought they had ones that said not the one
with the vampires.

Speaker 4 (54:39):
That would be Transylvania, right, yes, yeah, set them apart.
Now if you go to Transylvania, they've got those license
plates that say not the Keystone State. So it can
be very confusing for people. You know, Alaska, their license
plates say the last Frontier. You might I've noticed. I

(55:00):
think I've mentioned this before, just anecdotally for me. I
noticed recently a lot of cars with Alaskan license plates,
and somebody was trying to tell me it's probably military
who have had their maybe they're back here at home
and they've had their car shipped or something like that.
But Alaska says the last Frontier. We were in Arizona,
the Grand Canyon State. I don't know what Ohio you know.

(55:24):
I don't ever stop to think about. All we see
primarily are Ohio license plates, but I couldn't tell you
what they say. It probably has a website or something
on it. Growing up in Illinois, it always said Land
of Lincoln because.

Speaker 5 (55:38):
They're born there or lived there. As something they claim Lincoln.

Speaker 4 (55:43):
But if you're going to get into a phrase war,
you gotta be careful. What does Ohio say? Do you
know what the license plates in our the heart of
it all?

Speaker 2 (55:55):
The heart of it all much to discover it was
for a minute.

Speaker 4 (55:59):
Yeah, okay, well now it's just like that painting of
the barn in the hills, right it says beautiful Ohio
or no, that's no, those aren't the anyway.

Speaker 5 (56:12):
Who cares?

Speaker 4 (56:13):
You want to get to Whoopsie's picks? But who's Week
three NFL?

Speaker 17 (56:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (56:22):
Say yeah, all right? You know we used to have
a goat that did our picks here on the show.

Speaker 4 (56:45):
From Pennsylvania that she passed away, and so our own
Bill Squire was kind enough to deputize his own dog.

Speaker 5 (56:55):
She's a golden noodle.

Speaker 7 (56:56):
Yeah yeah, doodle and she got room last week, so
she's looking pretty fresh in this one, even, Peter, Yeah.

Speaker 5 (57:05):
She's just looking nice and fluffy, all.

Speaker 7 (57:08):
Right, any preamble for this anyway you ask she picks
another five games. She has currently picked every Browns game correctly,
and her record is eight and seven overall.

Speaker 5 (57:21):
Eight and seven overall.

Speaker 4 (57:22):
Yes, so if she picks another correct Browns game, she
will be four and oh with the Browns.

Speaker 5 (57:29):
Yes, all right, here we go two and three. That
brings her overall record to eight and seven, so she
still got a winning record.

Speaker 7 (57:38):
Week four.

Speaker 4 (57:41):
Just to let people know who aren't watching, you have
the tiny little plastic miniature football helmets for each team,
and there's a treat in front of them. In whichever
one she goes to grab the treat, that's her pick.
The first one, yeah both, yeah, right, the very first
one she goes to. She got to take both them treats.
But the first one game sanw Boys. Okay, this is

(58:01):
the game tonight, This is the Thursday game. I always
have her to do the Thursday night game of the
Sunday night game, and then I have her do a
one o'clock game a Browns game, and then the four
five in all yeah, okay, all right, So she picks
the New York Giants. Yeah, that's on Amazon Prime right,
the Thursday night football game.

Speaker 7 (58:22):
Ye who Eagles Buccaneers?

Speaker 9 (58:28):
Go?

Speaker 5 (58:29):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (58:32):
She picks Baker Mayfield in the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. All right, bro,
that game isn't in Tampa?

Speaker 14 (58:38):
Is it?

Speaker 5 (58:38):
They're getting a huge hurricane?

Speaker 18 (58:40):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (58:41):
Really, I think it is. I wonder if they're gonna have.

Speaker 7 (58:43):
To move that.

Speaker 5 (58:43):
Who does Philly have Jalen Hurts? Is he the quarterback?

Speaker 7 (58:45):
All right?

Speaker 5 (58:47):
Big Divisional game Chiefs versus Chargers? Okay, okay, she picks
the Chiefs against the charge.

Speaker 7 (59:00):
Now, do you think that you're when you motion for
her to come over, do you think that maybe you're influencing?
You can see her making her calculations as she's sitting
there waiting, you know, and like my hand is just
got like it looks like I'm pointing to one. But
it's just kind of like letting her know, like you're
waving her over. Yeah, you can, you can come over now.

(59:22):
Sunday night game, Bill's Ravens Okay, okay.

Speaker 5 (59:29):
One for the Bills. She's Bill's Mafia, yes, all right,
The Browns game Raiders Browns. Okay, whoops, pick the Browns again?

Speaker 7 (59:44):
Right?

Speaker 5 (59:44):
All right?

Speaker 7 (59:45):
Yeah, picks here they are.

Speaker 4 (59:47):
Those are your four picks, all right? Week four picks,
Week four picks? Sorry, five picks. So she's got so
bet accordingly, Yes, the parlay this week. Let me see
what it will payout if she gets all of them right,
A ten dollars bet will pay three hundred and seventy dollars.

Speaker 5 (01:00:07):
Nice she gets all five right?

Speaker 4 (01:00:10):
Okay, Well, the Browns will play the Raiders in Vegas
on Sunday. That is a four to twenty five kick.
I will be hosting the next Coxout pregame on Sunday
that is three thirty to five thirty with bud Light.
Will be at the Lakewood Truck Park this Sunday. Playing
that bud Light football thing would get you to Vegas

(01:00:31):
to rep this great state of Ohio, and then you
could get yourself too the big game in New Orleans
next year. So go to Ellencoxshow dot com find out
or I'm gonna be for all of the Coxout pregame.

Speaker 7 (01:00:45):
If you want to post anything I post, He's on
my Instagram story if you want to see it or
or not my Instagram story. I posted as a reel
on Instagram, so you can you can check it out,
you can comment. A lot of people are fading whoopsies
picks when she picks against the Browns. But she picked
the Browns this week, so maybe they will be on
board with it.

Speaker 5 (01:01:06):
Now, why do you think that is? Why are they
second guessing her?

Speaker 7 (01:01:11):
I think they're you know, they play the odds. They
might know a little bit more about football than her
than a dog, which is crazy.

Speaker 4 (01:01:17):
Oh okay, well you're saying that they think they've put
more thought into it. Perhaps they think they have a system. Yeah,
well you can. You can't always count on that. You
can't always moneyball the situation. She still has a winning record, right,
I met a lot of you football quote unquote geniuses
and got a winning record. So two Sundays in a row,

(01:01:40):
in fact, for the Cox out pregame is Sunday and
next Browns will play DC. The Commanders, what a terrible name.
I know they were the Washington football team for a minute,
but the Commanders. I realize, you got to go with
what's not being used and probably isn't going to make
people upset, hence Guardians. But still Alan buzz Aldron is

(01:02:04):
ninety four. He looks younger than me and I'm sixty six.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
Howld's buzz Aldridge though.

Speaker 5 (01:02:10):
Ninety four years old?

Speaker 12 (01:02:12):
Wow?

Speaker 5 (01:02:14):
I mean there's a couple guys, you know.

Speaker 4 (01:02:15):
I had William Shatner on the show last month, and
he's ninety three, and he looks pretty good. You know,
I think a lot of these guys. I don't know
if buzz Aldrin is a guy who would have gotten
like a hair replacement or anything like that, but a
lot of these buzz Aldron is ninety four.

Speaker 5 (01:02:30):
He looks pretty good.

Speaker 4 (01:02:33):
I'll show you a picture of buzz Aldron. Is that
a guy who looks younger than ninety four or looks?
I mean, to me, that looks like a ninety four
year old guy.

Speaker 7 (01:02:43):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:02:43):
It's hard to say what anybody's going to look like
at that age. And he has been in space.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
Does that change it?

Speaker 4 (01:02:51):
Well, you know, I've seen enough movies where he probably
got some radiation that made him look younger.

Speaker 7 (01:02:58):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (01:03:00):
Alan.

Speaker 4 (01:03:00):
Maybe they have a Lebron statue in the Capitol. I
don't know about that, but people are offering your suggestions. Wait,
where is he from Lebron James minderstanding is he's just
a kid who grew up in Akron, Ohio. Look at that, yup,
he should really capitalize on them. A lot of people
are suggesting Jeffrey Dahmer. I don't know that that is

(01:03:21):
under any other circumstances, Wisconsin would try to claim him,
but not really. Big Chuck and Little John those would
be fantastic just for the height disparity to take photos
with statues of Big Chuck and Little John at the
US Capital. Thomas Edison and James Abram Garfield, of course,

(01:03:45):
was assassinated by a disgruntled office seeker.

Speaker 7 (01:03:48):
We all know that.

Speaker 5 (01:03:51):
But yeah, okay, well there you go.

Speaker 4 (01:03:54):
There are your week four picks, kicking off with tonight's
Thursday night football game over there on Amazon on Prime.
So if you don't have Prime, I guess you don't
watch the Thursday night game. That's what makes people mad now,
is if you don't have the particular service, you're not
gonna watch that game. But it's Dallas and the New
York Giants. Are Dallas still America's team?

Speaker 7 (01:04:16):
Yep? All right?

Speaker 5 (01:04:17):
Why is it they've just held onto it for this long? Yeah?

Speaker 7 (01:04:19):
I mean they just they're the most valuable team, and
all right, I have fans all over the place, so
they are.

Speaker 4 (01:04:27):
That Alan mood dang is. Last week you got to
check out Pesto the Penguin. Oh, I've seen Pesto the Penguin.
I'll do you one better. I will see you are
Pesto the Penguin, and I will raise you. Morty the
Misfit is anybody paying attention to Morty the Misfit who
they just have He does this like little sideways trot

(01:04:47):
and then they have him going down the hallway. There
various songs Morty the Misfit. Oh my god, come on.
You know I'm a little bit biased. I would never
have a chihuahua myself. They're too small for me. But
my mom has a chihuahua. Loves Theaha. She loves her Chihuahua.

(01:05:12):
I grew up in a home in which I was
told we couldn't have dogs because my mother was allergic.

Speaker 7 (01:05:18):
Allergic to chihuahwa's.

Speaker 4 (01:05:19):
Nope, and to the best of my knowledge, it was
I'm not a veterinarian, but I don't know that. I
don't think they're hypoallergenic. Maybe she's I don't think that
it is. I think it's marketing, but maybe she grew
out of her allergy. I'd certainly never begrudge that, because
a I'm a grown man and who cares. But also,
you know, after my they did have their chihuahuas while

(01:05:41):
my dad was still alive. But after my dad's death,
I'm sure she needed that dog more than ever. But
that dog really likes to hump my foot. When I
go home to see my fans.

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
You always talk about how nice your feet are.

Speaker 7 (01:05:56):
I do.

Speaker 4 (01:05:56):
I have gorgeous feet for a man, but I'm wearing socks.
The animal does not know how great my feet look.
But you bring up a good point. Maybe if the
next time I go and she begins to hump my foot,
maybe I should take my sock off and she'll be
that much more attracted to it and will.

Speaker 5 (01:06:17):
Finish quicker.

Speaker 7 (01:06:20):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:06:21):
I think it's a I think it's a male dog.
My mom thought she was getting a female dog. It
turned out to be a male. But so between Moo
Dang and Pesto the Penguin and Morrity the Misfit, you
are all set.

Speaker 10 (01:06:34):
If we now return to something barely worth your time
already in progress.

Speaker 7 (01:06:39):
The whole thing is fucking pointless. The Alan Cox Show
on one hundred point seven, where you MMS.

Speaker 4 (01:06:54):
Guardians take both of those games against the Cincinnati Reds
meet them last night five to two here at home,
and they will stick around and finish up the regular
season tomorrow Saturday and Sunday against the Houston Astros. So
seven to ten Tomorrow night is going to be your
first pitch here on MMS and on the iHeartRadio app.

Speaker 5 (01:07:14):
You can listen there as.

Speaker 4 (01:07:14):
Well, and then the postseason begins on Monday. Game one
and then game two will be Wednesday, both of those
here at home, So Saturday, October the fifth, obviously not
this Saturday. They'll still be playing the Astros away from
Saturday October five, and then Monday, October seventh, both of

(01:07:35):
those at Progressive Field, but the time and the other
team obviously still to be determined. Comedian Phil Hanley be
here in about half an hour. He's doing the weekend
at Hilarities. He's got a new book coming out, and
I think he's a very funny dude, interesting guy. He
was a model back in the day. Yeah, yeah, you
find that out last time. I don't know that I

(01:07:56):
knew that before it came up and oh, Derrick Rose retired.
D Rose, you know, just a kid from Chicago who
was man. He came out of the gate just killing it.
But then he was always hurt and we had him

(01:08:16):
here for a cup of coffee. Yeah, I was gonna say,
I couldn't even remember if he played at all, because
I think they shipped him off somewhere else.

Speaker 5 (01:08:23):
He was hurt.

Speaker 4 (01:08:24):
But he was like the youngest MVP ever and he
was the I don't know, he was doing all kinds
of stuff when he got drafted by the Bulls.

Speaker 5 (01:08:32):
He's a hometown boy, he was.

Speaker 7 (01:08:33):
He was on a great trajectory, but then his body
just couldn't keep up a lot of knee injuries and
stuff like that, and he'd make these really hard cuts
that were very hard on joints, and so it just
kind of destroyed his knees. Yeah, but then he built
a lasting career after he recovered from those injuries, and
you know it was more of a role player or
like a off the bench guy. But still, you know,

(01:08:57):
lasted the league for sixteen seasons. Yeah, he did impressive.

Speaker 4 (01:09:00):
He's a young man still, he's thirty five, So he
was a good six man. I mean, really made his
way around the league though, too. But I think they
just I think Memphis just cut him, and so he's like,
I'm out, Yeah, thank you because he played for Tom
Thibodeau when he was coaching the Bulls, and then he
picked him up again when he was coaching because he's

(01:09:20):
been coaching Knicks now for a minute. And he was
with him in Minnesota too. I think, oh, was he
there too? Yeah, he didn't play with Kevin Love, did
he in Minnesota? Or was that when Ken he played
with Kevin Love in Cleveland?

Speaker 7 (01:09:33):
Right?

Speaker 5 (01:09:35):
Kevin Love is still Kevin Love retired to.

Speaker 7 (01:09:38):
I think he's still with the Heat.

Speaker 4 (01:09:40):
Oh okay, anyway, d Rose, the Windy City Assassin, is
calling it quits. I remember he was because he got
there a year before I came to Cleveland. He got
drafted in eight and I remember at the time, Uh,
they were still building Trump Tower in Chicago when I

(01:10:04):
first moved back. They were poor in the concrete for
what would be the parking garage, and Derreck Rose was
the guy who bought the penthouse in Trump Tower. Now
this was before obviously Trump was doing anything political, so
the name didn't have the kind of stink on it
that it does now. But Dereck Rose dropped some serious,

(01:10:28):
serious coin on that Trump Tower penthouse and.

Speaker 7 (01:10:32):
Then ended up selling it.

Speaker 4 (01:10:33):
Obviously because he's moving around and just not he kept
getting signed to like minimum contracts.

Speaker 7 (01:10:40):
I think.

Speaker 5 (01:10:40):
So I don't know that Derek Rose ever got you know,
crazy rich.

Speaker 7 (01:10:44):
I mean, I think his first contract, like the first
one that he when he re signed with, I think
he's got at least one real big contract. Yeah. A
lot of people ask think what he originally went to
New York the first time. I think he got a
pretty good contract then did he. Ye.

Speaker 4 (01:11:02):
A lot of people asking me about tickets for the
Rock Hall inductions, and I just point them to I mean,
they're available for sale to the public.

Speaker 7 (01:11:10):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:11:12):
I'm sure they'll cost you an arm and a leg
if they're not sold out, but I mean they you know,
they moved it to the Romo Fijo a few years
ago from Public Hall so that they could sell a
lot more tickets to the floor is all industry people. Obviously,
it's giant tables and you know organizations and that buy
you know, spend tens of thousands of dollars to get
the tables on the floor, but us pleabs up there

(01:11:36):
in the in the seats. They're probably very expensive, but
you can, I know what you do. You can go
and and probably buy them. Somebody told me it's about
three hundred dollars to sit in Loudville, and we don't
get them to give away, so it's not like we
you know, I don't even think I'm going this year.

Speaker 5 (01:11:57):
Yeah, I'm not going this year. I got I gotta
shown Canton. Got to jokes.

Speaker 4 (01:12:03):
Why spend the money when you can get paid the money?
That's retell the jokes, Like Mary Santora, she's got two
shows tonight.

Speaker 7 (01:12:11):
Sure dough, it's another block box, Sure.

Speaker 2 (01:12:17):
Do Sure, West Side Comic Club, sand It's gonna be good.
Uh huh, I'm tired today.

Speaker 10 (01:12:25):
You are?

Speaker 5 (01:12:26):
You cam on What happened? When did you get up?
Walk us through it?

Speaker 4 (01:12:31):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:12:31):
I didn't get to You got.

Speaker 7 (01:12:32):
Home really late, yes, because you're working.

Speaker 2 (01:12:34):
It's almost three, and so I got up. I wanted
to get up.

Speaker 9 (01:12:37):
I've got two writing packets due tomorrow and I wanted
to get up early to work on them. So I
set my alarm for like eight, and I was like, okay,
that's not gonna work. Farms asleep, and then instead of
setting another.

Speaker 2 (01:12:50):
Alarm, I woke up at like ten.

Speaker 9 (01:12:54):
So then I was like rushing around and nothing that
I wrote was good because I was rushing around. And
then the dishwasher broke, so I had to take all
the crap out and wash up my hand. And then
oh no, yeah, and now I have two shows tonight,
So in order to finish it, I'm just gonna have
to like pull it all night or tonight to finish
these two writing packete by tomorrow morning.

Speaker 5 (01:13:12):
Oh, just send them my way, I'll finish them for you.

Speaker 2 (01:13:15):
I don't think you want to work on these shows.

Speaker 4 (01:13:17):
You don't want to Bill to finish those for you?
He can, he can't one show he absolutely does not
want to work write the other one?

Speaker 7 (01:13:25):
What's the other one?

Speaker 13 (01:13:26):
The other one's for actually for a YouTube show that
I don't particularly want to work on.

Speaker 5 (01:13:32):
Oh wow, this isn't real Sophie's choice.

Speaker 7 (01:13:33):
Then for you, why are you writing?

Speaker 9 (01:13:36):
Because these writing jobs pay so much money? Yeah, Like,
even if I would only do it for a year,
it's like two hundred and fifty thousand dollars in full benefits.

Speaker 2 (01:13:46):
It's insane the amount of money that these writing jobs pay.

Speaker 5 (01:13:48):
Did you hear from Scott Carter, by the way, I
did not. Oh, I sent them a thing.

Speaker 2 (01:13:52):
It's okay.

Speaker 9 (01:13:53):
But yeah, that's the other thing is that I'm like,
I've got a Yeah, I'm just tired.

Speaker 14 (01:13:58):
I understand, I just got a lot on my mind,
you know, and a broken dishwasher, a broken dishwasher bill
on top of everything else, she had to wash the
dishes by hand.

Speaker 2 (01:14:07):
Well, I'm more like annoyed that.

Speaker 9 (01:14:09):
I'm like, I texted my managers my landlords about it,
and I don't know if they're going to.

Speaker 2 (01:14:15):
Tell me about it.

Speaker 5 (01:14:17):
Oh really, they're like that sucks.

Speaker 9 (01:14:20):
But then I'm wondering, can I like argue with them
about the rent though, because that was like included, that
was one of the perks.

Speaker 4 (01:14:26):
Absolutely, That's how you get them to fix the dishwasher, right, Oh.

Speaker 9 (01:14:30):
Yeah, if you're not going to fix it, put yeah,
because it's not a necessary thing, but it was one
of the things of why they're charging us twenty eight
hundred dollars a month, you know. So yeah, it was
just a very like I didn't wake up when I
wanted to. So I was aggravated, and then the whole
day has been like myth.

Speaker 4 (01:14:51):
I don't mind doing dishes by hand. I really don't,
but I'm so spoiled with a dishwasher. We grew up
with a dishwasher that we were not allowed to use
because my mom said it didn't get the dishes clean enough.
So I grew up doing dishes by hand. I really
don't mind it, but I will run. I run the
dishwasher every night, whether it's full.

Speaker 7 (01:15:09):
Away that you.

Speaker 5 (01:15:11):
Use less water running the dishwasher than washing dishes by hand.

Speaker 7 (01:15:15):
Is that true?

Speaker 17 (01:15:16):
Though?

Speaker 5 (01:15:16):
I don't.

Speaker 7 (01:15:17):
I think it depends on how many dishes you're washing, yeah,
and your method and your method.

Speaker 5 (01:15:23):
Well, my method is I I think I think you
can rinse more.

Speaker 7 (01:15:28):
Dishes at once in the dishwasher, So like that that
rinsing action of just having the water going that much
can use a lot of.

Speaker 5 (01:15:38):
W because like, I'm not all I'm gonna do. I'm
not doing tiny things.

Speaker 4 (01:15:41):
I'm I'm I'm not putting pans in the dishwasher, so
I'll do those by hand or whatever. But I run
the dishwasher every night, whether there's three things in there
or whether it's full and I'm like, boy, I'm probably
really wasting a lot of but I got spoiled with
the dishwasher.

Speaker 5 (01:15:59):
It's really the little things.

Speaker 4 (01:16:01):
But you should absolutely tell them, Hey, this is part
of the rent right, part of the agreement, because they're
not on premises, right, you got to call it a
management company or something.

Speaker 13 (01:16:12):
Oh, it's this guy and his wife, but they don't
live in the building. It's only three like apartments.

Speaker 5 (01:16:19):
Do you know what's wrong with it?

Speaker 2 (01:16:21):
The start button won't work. Every other button works except
the start button.

Speaker 9 (01:16:25):
And it's been acting up for like two weeks where
you'd have to kind of fiddle with it and push
it the right way for it to work, and then
now just stop working all together.

Speaker 7 (01:16:32):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:16:33):
Oh, I was gonna say, how do you know all
the other buttons work if it doesn't want to start?

Speaker 2 (01:16:36):
To them? I see and they light up.

Speaker 7 (01:16:38):
Yeah, but that one won't start.

Speaker 2 (01:16:40):
The one that we need won't work, won't start.

Speaker 7 (01:16:43):
Well, that sucks.

Speaker 9 (01:16:44):
Yeah, what are you gonna do? And it's Brian's birthday
and I wish I was there, you know what I mean?
They've been there for the last four big five Oh right, uh, yeah,
he's fifty nine years old today. It's older than you, allen.

Speaker 5 (01:16:58):
I like how the Big five, oh became fifty nine.

Speaker 2 (01:17:00):
Yeah, that's not what that means.

Speaker 5 (01:17:02):
No, well, maybe I'll let me think. I don't know.

Speaker 7 (01:17:06):
How old is he?

Speaker 14 (01:17:07):
Forty thirty eight, thirty eight? He's pushing forty, then he is.
It looks good though, you break up with them he
turns forty.

Speaker 5 (01:17:15):
No, I don't like that.

Speaker 2 (01:17:16):
I don't care. I like his like salt and pepper
coming into his beard, and.

Speaker 14 (01:17:20):
I like it.

Speaker 2 (01:17:23):
Oh my god, am I gotta go quiet?

Speaker 5 (01:17:25):
Conference te I got to go. I gotta work on
these I don't even have pepper in my beard.

Speaker 11 (01:17:29):
It's all white.

Speaker 7 (01:17:30):
It's all salt. That's right.

Speaker 4 (01:17:32):
That's why I keep it pretty clean shaven. I'll get lazy,
but it's all salt, all right. Well, uh, and so
will you do a sexy face time for him? We
did that yesterday yesterday.

Speaker 2 (01:17:46):
I have shows tonight.

Speaker 5 (01:17:47):
Well yeah, but I mean he's in bed by ten o'clock,
all right.

Speaker 9 (01:17:51):
So by the time I get home, I don't you know,
I'm getting.

Speaker 2 (01:17:53):
Home at one in the morning.

Speaker 7 (01:17:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 9 (01:17:55):
He gets up for work four hours after that. So
yesterday I didn't have a spot until.

Speaker 5 (01:17:59):
Ten so so what did you just call him dump
him out or what?

Speaker 2 (01:18:03):
No, it's like, have you never done like I don't
like the words cyber sex.

Speaker 9 (01:18:08):
But like face time or like you've never video chatted
with anybody?

Speaker 7 (01:18:13):
No?

Speaker 4 (01:18:14):
No, so we just like on face time and you like,
I mean I've done FaceTime, I've never done a I've
never done a sexy face time.

Speaker 5 (01:18:19):
No, well walk them through it.

Speaker 4 (01:18:21):
Yeah, okay, No, no, I don't no, no, no, I
don't need specifics. What I'm saying is, do you is
it on like a tripod so you can move around
like you have to frame yourself or oh, your laptop.

Speaker 2 (01:18:31):
Laptop so I can like position it and then be.

Speaker 4 (01:18:36):
Shore. That's why the lenses so fuzzy, so gauzy. It's
got stuff on. And I thought that was just vasilineh
to kind of give yourself a different look there. All right,
So then you fire up the laptop and you have
to you make an appointment, you go or just whenever
he calls you go, well let me know because I

(01:18:57):
got to be ready.

Speaker 9 (01:18:59):
Well, and that's the thing is that it is something
that kind of has to be planned, which is a
little not sexy, you know, but like my roommates out
of town and I had a couple hours before, like
between when I got home and when I had to leave,
it like two hours.

Speaker 2 (01:19:11):
So I called him and he was like, what are
you doing? And he's like, I'm just getting ready to
make dinner. And I was like, are you sure that's
what you want to do?

Speaker 5 (01:19:17):
And you know there it is, yup. Are you sure
that's what you want to do? So you open up
the robe?

Speaker 2 (01:19:23):
Yes, that's actually exactly how it happened. He's like, what
are you doing?

Speaker 5 (01:19:26):
Yeah, you're like, how about dessert before dinner?

Speaker 7 (01:19:31):
One of those I.

Speaker 2 (01:19:32):
Got something you can eat?

Speaker 5 (01:19:33):
People like that too, Yeah, are you hungry? Are you hey?

Speaker 7 (01:19:40):
There? All right? Well yeah people really, people are relationships
by the way, they need to get over the whole like, well,
planning is not sexy spawn ladies awesome, but most of
life is not like that.

Speaker 5 (01:19:57):
So like most things got to be planned out. Yeah,
you just got to plan it out.

Speaker 2 (01:20:02):
Yeah, well, especially.

Speaker 7 (01:20:03):
Sexy stuff is when you get to see my boobs?

Speaker 5 (01:20:05):
How about that?

Speaker 7 (01:20:06):
Or I ask you I got something, I got something,
except he can't because.

Speaker 5 (01:20:12):
He's on the laptop.

Speaker 2 (01:20:13):
I know, I know, I know you're there, I know that's.

Speaker 7 (01:20:20):
How you do it.

Speaker 4 (01:20:21):
Yep, fix the dishwatch right, do you troubleshoot this? Hey,
I'm on a spin cycle right now? How about that?
So what's the elapsed time for this little peep show?

Speaker 11 (01:20:36):
Then?

Speaker 4 (01:20:37):
And he's distracted because he's cooking and trying to look
at your bush.

Speaker 13 (01:20:41):
No, he's bush also participating. He's not cooking, he's.

Speaker 5 (01:20:46):
He stops down the cooking so that he can write.

Speaker 2 (01:20:50):
Okay, all right, it's usually about fifteen minutes.

Speaker 5 (01:20:54):
Now does he zoom in or does he wide out?

Speaker 2 (01:20:56):
I have no idea. I'm not on his end.

Speaker 5 (01:20:58):
Well, but you see what he's doing, I mean, you know,
oh on him.

Speaker 2 (01:21:01):
Yeah, it's like a point of view. So he's.

Speaker 7 (01:21:07):
Happy birthday to me and manymore.

Speaker 9 (01:21:12):
He's on his way home right now, so I'm sure
he's listening to uh huh all right, but I can't
be there for his birthday. So that's kind of me
Because what does he point it like to to?

Speaker 5 (01:21:22):
Does he point it like right in the laptop camera
to make you feel like you're right there?

Speaker 2 (01:21:27):
He uses his phone?

Speaker 5 (01:21:28):
Oh, he uses his phone.

Speaker 2 (01:21:30):
So it's kind of like a it's a point of view.

Speaker 5 (01:21:34):
Okay, I understand I just said, I was thinking that
you were both.

Speaker 4 (01:21:36):
On laptops and no, okay, boy, all right, well, happy
birthday to him. And it's just a weird everyone's celebrating.
It's a weird day.

Speaker 2 (01:21:53):
It is a weird day. My mine's in a thousand
different places today.

Speaker 5 (01:21:56):
Yeah, I understand. It's like rainy here, it's gonna rain,
We're gonna get.

Speaker 4 (01:22:03):
I assume the rain we're gonna get for the next
six days is from Hurricane Helene or whatever, because it's
supposed to rain here for the next week, so we're
not getting the nastiness.

Speaker 5 (01:22:13):
That it's gonna kind of stop short of us.

Speaker 4 (01:22:16):
I was like at one of those maps because we
got a lot of bureau chiefs down there in Florida,
but I was looking at kind of the ripple effects
of where it's gonna go, and it's kind of kind
of top out at Columbus. But it's gonna get up here.
I think we will just end up getting a lot
of rain. Yeah, rain pretty much every day till Tuesday. Yeah, Tuesday, Hey, Mike, Yes, sir,
what's going on?

Speaker 5 (01:22:37):
Hey, I'm just wondering you're talking about the salt and
pepper beard. But guys with red hair when they start
to turn gray?

Speaker 7 (01:22:43):
Is it? Salt and Paprika hate the show? Bye.

Speaker 4 (01:22:46):
I like that he just punches out, punches in, and
punches out. That's a smart guy, right there. Build a
right to town. I know you got to give this
weekend to steal people's jokes. That's a good joke I liked.
I'm disappointed in myself that I've never pursued women with
daddy issues.

Speaker 7 (01:23:05):
Everyone I've dated is such a damn prude. Well, I
don't know that one has to do with the other.

Speaker 4 (01:23:11):
I mean, just because a girl has daddy issues doesn't
mean that she's, you know, a freak though. I yeah,
but I thought they were talking about real life.

Speaker 2 (01:23:19):
I mean, I think they're also trying to make a joke.

Speaker 7 (01:23:22):
I see, well I didn't.

Speaker 4 (01:23:23):
I didn't think it was a joke because we're Paprika
wasn't in the text, so I was like, well, that's
I mean, that's my baseline. Now.

Speaker 2 (01:23:30):
You can't take it seriously.

Speaker 4 (01:23:31):
No point, by the way. You know, some people are
a little prudish, but that's okay too. You know, your job,
as someone who's with them is to make them less prudish.
Your job is to get them to feel comfortable and
not in a way that makes them creeped out.

Speaker 9 (01:23:49):
That's exactly what happened with Brian and I on our
first date. And I fully at the time felt this
when I was like, I'm not really that into sex.
I can kind of take it or leave it. I
don't like talking about it, you know, And.

Speaker 2 (01:24:02):
He well, I don't. Why am I even talking about it?
And it's different now, no, I understand.

Speaker 4 (01:24:06):
I mean, you guys have been together for If it
wasn't different, you'd have serious problems because, you know, because
some people just kind of resign themselves to well, this
is how I am, and you've got a blah blah blah.
And that's fine too, but you're going to run into
problems that way as well. So the prude thing, I'm like,
and by the way, that means a different thing to
everybody too. It's like, oh, she's a prude. She won't
even let me put it in the back. It's like, yeah,

(01:24:27):
that's I don't think that that's what that means. But
salt and ginger is the joke. Allen, Well, not to
that guy, all right, he's got his own thing going
on and who am I to tell him one thing
from the other. But okay, well listen, congratulations on a success.

Speaker 5 (01:24:48):
Did you say what? The elapse time was.

Speaker 2 (01:24:50):
Usually round like fifteen minutes, sometimes less.

Speaker 7 (01:24:53):
A good quarter hour. Okay, there's no time that goes off. Well,
if you've finished, it's over now.

Speaker 4 (01:25:01):
Uh huh like parental controls on on FaceTime. You know, Oh,
my laptop's gonna shut off here in thirty seconds.

Speaker 5 (01:25:10):
Are you done yet?

Speaker 7 (01:25:11):
Are you? Oh?

Speaker 4 (01:25:12):
I gotta go, honey, I'm sorry. Wipe off the camera
and we'll talk again tomorrow.

Speaker 5 (01:25:18):
Alan Cocks a drummer, the real musician.

Speaker 11 (01:25:22):
He just makes a noise if he played the violin
or the piano, and of it made sense, but the drums.

Speaker 7 (01:25:37):
That shange.

Speaker 5 (01:25:40):
I did the obvious pull games or for Casey Jones.

Speaker 4 (01:25:43):
But I don't know what Phil Hanley's here, and I
know he's a big dead head and he hasn't been
here in.

Speaker 7 (01:25:47):
A little while.

Speaker 4 (01:25:48):
And I don't know what your go to. I know
very little about the Grateful Death. To get into it,
sugar Magnoli, you're talking. You're not talking about any of
the songs people know. Uh well, yeah, I mean it's versions.
I talked about versions of song. I listened to live show.
You listen to live shows, but yeah, I mean Casey
Jones is great.

Speaker 5 (01:26:09):
You're Canadian?

Speaker 7 (01:26:10):
I am.

Speaker 11 (01:26:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:26:11):
The Grateful Dead. When did they start speaking to you? Uh,
they started speaking to me.

Speaker 19 (01:26:16):
I'm dyslexic, and I found out that Bob Weir was dyslexic,
and I really helped. And also, when I was a teenager,
someone put a substance in my drink.

Speaker 5 (01:26:27):
It expanded your mind frequently. Yeah, they did it every Friday.

Speaker 7 (01:26:30):
And is that someone new?

Speaker 19 (01:26:32):
Yeah, someone was me and uh so yeah, it just
lent myself. I struggled in school. I needed to get
out of my reality and the drink thing helped. And
then yeah, I just got into the Dead And it's funny.
I like listen to different music. I'm super stoked that
Oasists are gonna tour again. Listen to Oasis, And then

(01:26:53):
whenever I put The Dead on, there's just unquestionably this
is Yeah, this is where I should be.

Speaker 4 (01:26:57):
So are you a guy then? Who somebody could throw
a clip of a Dead song and you go, oh
that's that, like you know the whole catalog.

Speaker 19 (01:27:06):
Yeah, when I was at my absolute best, yeah, and
I just got off a flight, so please don't test me.
But when I was at my absolute best, So the
Dead played from nineteen sixty five to nineteen ninety five,
and I could guess what year the live performance was
always within six months, so I might go like, that
was eighty nine and it was actually March ninety. So

(01:27:27):
I but generally I would get the year. But sometimes
i'd be off, like, but I would say that was
you know, it would be like February. I would say
eighty ninety, but it would be February ninety. Basically, do
you play an instrument? I played bass?

Speaker 4 (01:27:40):
Okay, I'm not a skilled musician, right well, I always
think of because I'm a drummer. But I always think,
but I could never get in guitar, start a banking.
I wish it gets that, no brainer? Hey, how long
you hear? I could never get into quote unquote jam bands. Okay,
I couldn't get into the Dead, not in the Fish,
you know, despite the fact that those guys are all

(01:28:01):
phenomen fantastic musicians. So I was always I'm still to
this day, I'm more of a metal guy. But it's
like friends of mine that are at your level with
the Dead and bands like that, I was like, I
get where they're coming from, and it just never.

Speaker 5 (01:28:13):
Spoke to me that way.

Speaker 19 (01:28:14):
Well, I yeah, like I was in the heavy metal
when I was a kid, no offense, and most.

Speaker 5 (01:28:22):
People have gotten out of it by the time they're
fifty three years old. And no I'm not. I don't.

Speaker 19 (01:28:27):
I have nothing against other jam bands, but they don't
know other jam band does it form me?

Speaker 7 (01:28:31):
Okay?

Speaker 11 (01:28:32):
The Dead.

Speaker 19 (01:28:34):
Just I mean I improvise a lot on stage, yeah,
and just lyrically, Robert Connor's lyrics are just so good.

Speaker 5 (01:28:40):
And I think as a kid and being.

Speaker 19 (01:28:41):
Ayslexic and not being able to read these songs would
take like Terrapin Station takes you on this journey. So
it was kind of just a perfect storm of just
I was such a candidate and also the band that
talked to you absolutely. And also in Canada, it's not
like here there's like the Dead of so much baggage.
You're like that guy in school I didn't like and

(01:29:01):
my uncle that's a strange from the family and you know,
someone who's likely imprisoned. Yeah, the Canada didn't really have that,
so it was like a yeah, it was a band
that not a lot of people were into. And if
you want to take a dive into a band, there's
no other place you could take such a deep dive.
There's thousands of shows that you can listen to, so
it's like endless, you know, an endless experience of new stuff.

Speaker 5 (01:29:24):
And they played it different. Jerry played it different every
single time. You could be putting stuff in your drink
on Fridays for the rest of your life.

Speaker 19 (01:29:31):
You absolutely could, although I don't encourage that and I
don't don't. I don't put things in my drinks any here. Yeah,
it's crazy how often it happened back then.

Speaker 7 (01:29:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:29:39):
Phil Hanley is at Hilarities this weekend. The show tonight
is at seven o'clock, seven and nine forty five tomorrow
and Saturday. And I'm a big fan of yours.

Speaker 5 (01:29:50):
Oh thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:29:51):
Whenever something new, you know, you're always posting stuff on Instagram,
and it's always very very funny because it's just a
lot of it as you talking to people, and yeah,
it's very quick and you're kind of very casual with
your response to people, and I think that's very very funny.

Speaker 5 (01:30:05):
You have a book that is coming out. I have
a book. How quickly is this coming? It's all done, It's.

Speaker 19 (01:30:10):
Done, it's done. I have to Yeah, it's done. There's
one joke that I'm trying to put in that it
might not get in, but it's done. It comes out
March eighteenth. I beg of people to pre order it.

Speaker 5 (01:30:24):
It's called Spellbound, My Life as a Dyslexic Wordsmith.

Speaker 19 (01:30:27):
Yes, yeah, yeah, and it's yeah, it's about. It starts
off primarily about you know, I'm when I'm identified with
my learning disability, and then I talk about, you know,
my experiences is in special ed and stuff like that.
And then my friends went to college, I became a model,
I lived in Europe and then slowly found my way
to stand up.

Speaker 5 (01:30:48):
And it talks about yeah, my whole life.

Speaker 4 (01:30:51):
Now, last time you were here, I think it's been
a couple of years, but the model thing kind of
slipped out, and I think Bill knew.

Speaker 7 (01:30:57):
I didn't know.

Speaker 5 (01:30:58):
Bill's a truth one. Well, he's a true modeling fan.
I guess, yeah, I from your modeling.

Speaker 4 (01:31:04):
Yeah, I remember you and the Versace ads at the
back of Spin magazine.

Speaker 5 (01:31:08):
But that blew my mind. Yeah, it was a great
It blew my mind.

Speaker 19 (01:31:11):
At the time, I was a skinny dude who like
growing up in Oshawa, Ontario, which is a smaller version
of Cleveland, Ohio, And uh yeah, it didn't even cross
my mind. I was I grew up with a woman
that became a you know, very successful model, and she
was concerned that I was just going to stay in
my hometown and continue to have my drink spiked.

Speaker 5 (01:31:33):
And she encouraged me to go to Europe. And I
went to Europe very uncomfortably.

Speaker 4 (01:31:39):
And you said you're a good you're you're a good
looking dude, or that you have a look that they
would be looking for.

Speaker 19 (01:31:45):
Yes, I have a look that they were looking for.
At the time, it was a trend called heroin chic.

Speaker 5 (01:31:50):
So this is early nineties, yeah, yeah, it's it? Is
it early nineties?

Speaker 19 (01:31:55):
No, it would be the later nineties, okay, And uh yeah,
And I did it and it was wild. And I
lived in England and I you know, spent time in Milan,
in Paris and very fish out of water situation. You
were hobnobbing, as it were.

Speaker 5 (01:32:09):
I was hobnobbing, Yeah, knob hobbing, rubbing elbows.

Speaker 4 (01:32:17):
And so at what point do you go this is
not I mean, did you see you have to be
surrounded by cautionary tales?

Speaker 7 (01:32:23):
Yeah, in that world, yeah totally. But what what it was?

Speaker 19 (01:32:28):
So I grew up in you know, in the town
of suburb of Toronto. My dad was in the insurance business,
did not care for his occupation. Did a great job
and was very you know, successful at it, but wasn't
thrilled to get up and do it every day. And
I was miserable in school, as you can imagine if
you can't read. And I I was just like hell

(01:32:48):
bent on doing something that I loved and doing something
that I wanted to. Not follow your father's footstool well
just yeah, like following his footsteps in a lot of ways,
but just not occupation wise. And so I was as
I was modeling, which is the last thing that I
felt equipped to do physically or mentally. I was like
working with photographers and stylists and people that were like

(01:33:10):
thrilled to do this job, like a photographer.

Speaker 5 (01:33:12):
That's like I got a camera.

Speaker 19 (01:33:13):
When I was seven years old, you know, and I
was like, dang, what have I done since I was
seven years old? And eventually I came to the answer.
After years, I was like, oh, I've been a smart
ass my whole life, yep, and let's try to monetize that.
So I tried comedy. I did improv in when I
was living in England modeling. I did the improv in
this like weird church basement for the first time, got

(01:33:34):
a pop from the other students in a scene and
the scene was actually about LSD and I.

Speaker 5 (01:33:42):
It's true, like now they're speaking my language.

Speaker 19 (01:33:44):
And I got a laugh and it was such just
crazy Eureka moment where I'm like, oh my, this feels
like getting a laugh from friends or family, even though.

Speaker 5 (01:33:51):
It's complete strangers, and it was real good.

Speaker 4 (01:33:55):
You'll never talk to anybody good. You'll never talk to
anybody who gets an organic laugh. And their reaction is
it was okay, yeah, it's like it's instantly a drug.

Speaker 7 (01:34:03):
It really was.

Speaker 19 (01:34:04):
And so I, you know, kind of wrapped things up
in England and moved. My family had moved to Vancouver
by that time, and I started stand up with the
intention of, you know, moving to New York ultimately.

Speaker 4 (01:34:17):
So so when you start the modeling thing, I have
to imagine that you were family and whoever your friends
were at the time were like, what are you talking about.

Speaker 5 (01:34:25):
My best friend Pugs.

Speaker 19 (01:34:29):
I remember telling him and I was really self conscious
about it because it's like a Asha was a tough town,
it's a hockey town. Yeah, And I remember telling him
and he's like, just your face, right, because I was
so skinny, right, Like I mean, I was like, I'm
I probably weigh when I started modeling.

Speaker 5 (01:34:46):
I probably I weighed definitely less than one hundred and
twenty pounds.

Speaker 7 (01:34:48):
Okay, So.

Speaker 19 (01:34:51):
Yeah, h wow, Bill, like you were like a broom
redh Yeah. No, I was just skinny and I had
never you know, I wasn't an athlete or anything like that.
So I yeah, like I would swim with a T
shirt on, and then like within a few months, I
was like working for a money Like it wasn't right,
and it never never. I look back now and I
can look at a photo of me, you know, back then,

(01:35:14):
and think like, oh, I kind of see it now,
But at the time, I was like, this is like
it felt like a prank show that they wanted me
to model.

Speaker 4 (01:35:22):
You kept waiting for somebody to be like, this isn't
the guy, Yeah, this is whose idea was this?

Speaker 7 (01:35:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:35:27):
Absolutely absolutely?

Speaker 7 (01:35:28):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:35:29):
And so what was the So you started doing the
improv thing, and you're like, oh, obviously there's a short
shelf life on modeling for anybody. I mean, there are
people who do it for a long time, but that
wasn't what you were looking at.

Speaker 19 (01:35:40):
No, No, But as you had fallen into it, well
I had fallen into it, but I had just started
to actually like do what you want to do. When
you're modeling, there's like, you know, the glory things of
editorial and stuff like that, but catalog stuff you make
a lot of money.

Speaker 5 (01:35:54):
And I just started actually making money.

Speaker 19 (01:35:57):
But I wasn't happy, and I went through a break
cup in London, and I don't know why they did it,
but my family encouraged me. They're like, well, if you're
not happy, to try something else. But I'm like, here's
the kid who can't read, is never held a shovel
in his hand. Yeah, and you're encouraging him to leave
a job that is very easy and can be lucrative.

Speaker 5 (01:36:18):
So I without reading involved, yes exactly, and I we're not.

Speaker 19 (01:36:22):
It's a shock if you can read in that industry,
So I I it's crazy, But they they encourage me
to come home and I and I started comedy, but Yeah.
It was at a point though where I was like, oh,
I can actually make a run of this doing modeling.
I was at about the four year mark and I
started doing some catalog stuff in Germany and stuff.

Speaker 7 (01:36:40):
Well.

Speaker 4 (01:36:40):
Also the stand up thing, it's different than if you're
a dyslexic and you're going out for roles you want
to act. You're trying to read scripts that can be
problematic stand up. I mean, you know, you might everybody's
got their own process. You might jop things down, but
a lot of people aren't writing anything down, and so
it's just that would be would remove that variable the
creative absolutely.

Speaker 19 (01:37:01):
Yeah, but I choose to do things as difficult as
I can possibly do for whatever.

Speaker 7 (01:37:07):
I mean, it's hence the book, Hence absolute hints the book.

Speaker 19 (01:37:11):
So I write down, like I'm parts of my show
are as improvised as they can possibly be. Yeah, Like
I'm three words into a five word sentence and I
have no clue what the last two words are going
to be, or my jokes are really I write them.
I try to chop syllables and memorize them and deliver them.

Speaker 7 (01:37:30):
So yeah, I do.

Speaker 5 (01:37:32):
I write everything out like.

Speaker 4 (01:37:33):
The combination of those two things can be really effective,
like when you're literally performing a couple of lines, yeah,
and then something else you're kind of playing with it.

Speaker 5 (01:37:42):
Yeah, I mean, and and for me, it's the most fun.
And it's also.

Speaker 19 (01:37:47):
I like, I mean, it's weird after all these years
of listening to you know, there were when I'm writing
and stuff like that, I'll listen to forty hours of
The Grateful Dead a week, Like it's just on constantly, right,
and they improvise, I mean they had yeah, they had
their songs and then they just you know, they called it.
Bob Weir calls it taking the Walk in the Woods.
They would just go off and so yeah, it's I

(01:38:09):
maybe it just filtered in osmosis wise, but.

Speaker 5 (01:38:12):
Also when you're on stage.

Speaker 4 (01:38:14):
I mean, for people who follow Phil Hanley on Instagram,
when you're on stage, many times you're in a Dead
sweatshirt or T shirt or something like that. Yeah, So
just going up there, people are going to start with
that nugget of assumption about you.

Speaker 5 (01:38:26):
Yeah, I want like people send me stuff.

Speaker 19 (01:38:29):
There's like amazing artists and there's so much bootleg stuff
made from the Dead, and I have friends that design
stuff officially for the band and stuff, and they send
me stuff. But for me, it's like that guy that
wants to talk to you about crypto crypto or his
religion or whatever. I feel that The Dead enriched my

(01:38:50):
life so so much that I would encourage people to
listen to.

Speaker 5 (01:38:55):
It, right, you know, you're proselytizing to people kind of really.

Speaker 19 (01:38:59):
I mean, trust me, I don't stop my show and
be like, you know, quote Jerry or whatever. But yeah,
I mean I think it's such a It's been such
a positive thing for me. And I mean it's anyone
who's inspired by anything. I mean, Bob Weir is still
playing and still improvising and pushing it to the edge,
and you know, so I get a lot of inspiration

(01:39:22):
from that.

Speaker 4 (01:39:22):
Well that's always the amazing thing too when people talk
about these bands that are going on fiftieth anniversary tours, RH,
The Who and The Stones, and I think Grateful Dead
have or Dead in Company have sixtieth this summer officially,
but they kind of officially kind of called a quits.

Speaker 5 (01:39:36):
But those guys, like what rat Dog still goes up.
Rat Dog is no more. It's called Dead and Co.

Speaker 19 (01:39:42):
But they did a they did a fiftieth anniversary, Soldiers
Field and the surviving members played the show with actually
Trey Frumfish and it was a phenomenon that was ten
years ago. So now the sixtieth anniversary will be approaching
next summer. But people, but my point is people always go,
oh god, these why do these guys? So go on,
I'm like, why would you not do it? As long

(01:40:02):
as you could possibly do it.

Speaker 4 (01:40:04):
You still have the affinity for it, you still have
the ability, you know some of these guys, and you.

Speaker 7 (01:40:08):
Get to have that improvisational aspect of it that makes
it exciting to do it. Every time you have to
play the song exactly how it sounds on the record.

Speaker 19 (01:40:16):
Absolutely, and uh and they really I mean when so
with Dead and coach John Mayer joined the band and.

Speaker 5 (01:40:24):
There was a whole other new generation that that came.

Speaker 19 (01:40:26):
So it was really fun for me because I mean
I used to go to rat Dog shows, which was
Bob Weir's project.

Speaker 5 (01:40:31):
And it was like it was wasn't really co ed.
It was a lot of like, you know, older dud dudes.

Speaker 19 (01:40:37):
Yeah, fairly sweaty, lots of white dudes with dreadlocks type.
Bob and the bands. The bands are great and I
enjoyed myself immensely. But now when when John Mary joined
the band, there's like a new youth of like, you know,
dudes that kind of looked like John Mayer and then
their girlfriends that kind of look like someone John Mayer
would date or whatever.

Speaker 5 (01:40:54):
So have you ever bumped into John Mayer doing comedies?

Speaker 7 (01:40:57):
Yes, I he hangs out of the cell Yeah exactly. Yeah, yeah,
so we.

Speaker 5 (01:41:01):
We've got to talk about the dead at the at
the at the cellar table. I'm just fast.

Speaker 19 (01:41:08):
I mean, he memorized like two hundred songs or something
like that, and not only memorizing the way Jerry played them,
and then applied his own skill and technique and stuff
like that. So I was I've asked them many questions
about just that, like to sit down and start with
one song, like.

Speaker 5 (01:41:23):
You know, I write songs about like myself too.

Speaker 19 (01:41:27):
I mean he really he really uh embraced the job
and and and really, I mean no one think that's
why he's been so accepted by exactly the people that,
you know, because you can't just put anybody know and
be like he's pretty good, like, yeah, he has the
respect and the dedication.

Speaker 7 (01:41:47):
He really does.

Speaker 19 (01:41:48):
Yeah, He's definitely celebrated. And if knowing just whatever doesn't
make sense, that's the grateful dead way to do it.
And I mean, for uh, someone who was thought of
is kind of a pop star to replace the most
anti pop star someone. I mean, Garcia didn't want to
be famous. He wanted to be a working musician and

(01:42:09):
that's it. He didn't want to be you know, looked
up to in the way that he did. He wanted
to you know, he wanted to be a good guitar
players is what he wanted to be. And so then
you know, John Marra was. It was just it's just
such a dead thing that it just the way it happened,
you know, it's unexpected, like their music.

Speaker 4 (01:42:26):
Phil Hanley is doing the Weekend at Hilarities tonight. The
show is at seven o'clock Tomorrow and Saturday it is
seven and nine forty five. You can go to hilarities
dot com for the details. You you get to go
home for a little bit after leaving Cleveland and going
somewhere else.

Speaker 19 (01:42:40):
I know, I go, I go, I do a book
event in Portland on Monday, and then I go to
Vancouver to see my family. For I think like thirty
six hours and then I have shows next weekend in
Calgary and Edmonton.

Speaker 7 (01:42:52):
Oh you're literally just home for like a day and
a half.

Speaker 5 (01:42:54):
Ye yeah, yeah yeah. And then I'm going to get
photos from my book. Yeah yeah. The book is called Spellbound.

Speaker 4 (01:43:03):
The the parenthetical subtitle My life is a Dyslexic Wordsmith,
which is available for pre order.

Speaker 7 (01:43:09):
Please you could get a signed copy? Yeah, I'm looking
at look at that?

Speaker 5 (01:43:13):
Did you even know that?

Speaker 4 (01:43:14):
Or the publishing company? You know what when you when
you have a stamp of your signature, well.

Speaker 19 (01:43:19):
That well there's a thing whether you get like a
nameplate and it's like a sticker that goes into the book.
And I was like, I think I rather have it
the actual books signed by the author.

Speaker 7 (01:43:31):
Yes.

Speaker 19 (01:43:32):
So I'm going to a warehouse in Virginia at some
point in the fall and I'm signing however, many books
that I presell, and I'm hoping to to me I
think for what I want, I mean for myself, but
also I just think I was in special ed.

Speaker 5 (01:43:50):
I took the show bus to school. I wrote a
book and like the.

Speaker 19 (01:43:54):
Ultimate way to like I was mistreated by teachers, and
the ultimate like if you is the book to them, Yeah,
is if my book gets on the New York Times
bestseller list and I'm gunning for it. And I never
put that out there. I never say like, oh my
dream is to do this, my dream is to that.
But that is like my goal, so anti manifestation. If
you can, yeah, if you can pre order my book,

(01:44:17):
you get a signed copy. And if you pre order
it now, you get a sign copy. We don't know
how that's like a limited time, but yeah, and it's
and it's not just about justsle seeing it's not just
about comedy.

Speaker 5 (01:44:29):
It's you know, it's kind of my journey.

Speaker 4 (01:44:31):
In the service of righteous pettiness. Make sure that Phil
Hanley can tell all those teachers absolutely go get screwed.

Speaker 5 (01:44:38):
Here's my book. They called me dumb. Yeah, yeah, that
would have been a great name for the book. Yeah
that they that's not bad.

Speaker 4 (01:44:44):
Actually, the next one you can call now, will there
be an audio book version?

Speaker 5 (01:44:48):
Will you read your own book? I yeah, there will
be an audiobook version.

Speaker 19 (01:44:53):
They it was assumed that I wouldn't read it because
I mean, I've like I have friends that are in it,
and I've like tried to just read the passage about
the yeah, and I struggle. But somehow I felt, unless
it's absolutely impossible, I felt that it should be me
reading they read by the author. Yeah, so it will
be or John Mayer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, it will be.

(01:45:16):
And yeah, it's gonna be a brutal week or ten
days or whatever. But I'm going to do my best.
So unless they're like, yeah, this is un listenable, which
it could very well be because there's a lot of starughters,
there's a lot like what's this word?

Speaker 4 (01:45:29):
You know, umbrella, but also the word dyslexica is on
the cover, so anybody's listening, it might not to your point,
it might not be a smooth listening experience.

Speaker 5 (01:45:38):
It's not gonna be a shocking one. No, it will be.
We won't put it out unless it's smooth.

Speaker 19 (01:45:42):
So I'll do whatever I have to do, even if
it's like memorizing chapters at a time, I will do it.
It's funny just like I still can't spell the word dyslexia.
I'm misspell it wrong all the time.

Speaker 4 (01:45:54):
I think for people who don't even have it, they're
not spelling dyslexia properly.

Speaker 7 (01:45:58):
Yeah, you know, it's a tough one. Ax and a
why and the other things in there too. Well, it's
good to see you man, Thanks for coming in.

Speaker 19 (01:46:04):
Thank you so much for coming in, but thank you
so much for having me. Yeah, of course I see
you next time. Yeah, and also thanks for coming in.

Speaker 7 (01:46:11):
Listen.

Speaker 5 (01:46:11):
I try to come in as much as I possibly can.

Speaker 7 (01:46:14):
And you know, you look great.

Speaker 5 (01:46:15):
You both look great. You look a little different than
last time I saw you.

Speaker 4 (01:46:19):
Clean living in Jesus baby. Yeah, that's all it is
dead to that. Yeah, Phil Hanley, is it hilarities this weekend?
Go to Philhanley dot com. I assume you can pre
order the book there. The book is Spellbound, My Life
as a dyslexic word Smith.

Speaker 5 (01:46:34):
Call the Alan Cox Show.

Speaker 7 (01:46:35):
I believe we have another winner on the phone.

Speaker 6 (01:46:38):
What do you hear you about that?

Speaker 7 (01:46:39):
This guy's a weirdo.

Speaker 6 (01:46:41):
Two six seven eight one double oh seven or one
three four eight one double oh seven.

Speaker 7 (01:46:57):
Three five.

Speaker 4 (01:46:58):
Want to send me a text Coxshow dot Com email
anything like that. While you're there, you can get the
full schedule on this season is cocks out pregames when
the Browns are on the road. That is, when we
go out there with bud Light. We're doing the football
faceoff tournament. If you got a good arm and you
can get those tiny little balls in the hole, you

(01:47:20):
can win your way to Vegas. We got a couple
of rounds of this, but somebody from Northeast Ohio is
going to go to Vegas and then you will compete
against everyone else out there, and one person goes to
New Orleans for the Big Game twenty twenty five. So
we got two of them in a row. Browns are

(01:47:41):
away this Sunday and next. So this Sunday I'll be
at the Lakewood Truck Park from three thirty to five thirty.
And then on October the sixth I'll be at the
local bar in Strongsville. That's from noon to two. But
if you go to alancosuro dot com, I hit the
contest page and you'll get all of the d tales
on coming out and hanging for one of the cocks

(01:48:02):
out pre games.

Speaker 5 (01:48:03):
They're a lot of fun.

Speaker 4 (01:48:05):
Love seeing you guys and have some pops and toss
in the football around. Maybe you get yourself to Las Vegas.
Guardians are off tonight. They beat the Reds twice five
to two, six to one. For the past couple of
nights and so the final home series regular season is
against the Houston Astros. That'll be tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday

(01:48:28):
seven ten. Your first pitch tomorrow night on mmssin on
the iHeartRadio app. How about more Brian. You know Brian
left me a bunch of messages Brian, who we do
a little well. I turned them into guests name that tune.
But Brian will call and leave voicemails. He left me
about a dozen over the course of a half an

(01:48:49):
hour very early this morning. And sometimes I have to
warn you here preamble. Sometimes he will do it in
a very very strange voice, like a baby voice.

Speaker 5 (01:48:58):
So I want you to tell tell me if you
know the song he's singing here?

Speaker 12 (01:49:02):
Not always twice you Yardy Joys turner.

Speaker 2 (01:49:15):
I don't think he knows the song?

Speaker 7 (01:49:16):
Is this little Georgie?

Speaker 5 (01:49:18):
What is little Georgie? The uh like my Mammy give
me red me and keep me in an abortion.

Speaker 7 (01:49:26):
I don't I don't know that. I don't know that.

Speaker 12 (01:49:30):
Nothing always twice you Yardy Joys turn keep.

Speaker 2 (01:49:43):
I have no idea what that is.

Speaker 5 (01:49:46):
He's singing.

Speaker 4 (01:49:48):
We were talking about one hit Wonders yesterday and a
guy named Bruce Springsteen was a one hit wonder and
he got famous off of Santa Claus is coming to town.
And that's what Brian is singing. There a Santa claus
Is coming to town. Oh, he's making a list and
he's checking it twice.

Speaker 5 (01:50:08):
Is where more familiar?

Speaker 13 (01:50:11):
Twice?

Speaker 12 (01:50:14):
Yody Joy?

Speaker 5 (01:50:21):
You know the Bruce Springs, Yeah, right, put him on
the map.

Speaker 4 (01:50:30):
You know, nobody talks about Bruce Springsteen when they talk
about one hit wonders.

Speaker 5 (01:50:46):
But there it is.

Speaker 7 (01:50:49):
A lot of people on the.

Speaker 4 (01:50:49):
Text rambled v board texted me they knew exactly what
Brian was singing. It took me two or three It
took me two or three times to figure out what
he was singing. But sometimes he'll get me stuff in
that we're weird voice I heard from one of our
bureau chiefs. Out in Colorado. By the way, there's a guy.
They've got something called the buck it's another wildfire out there.

Speaker 5 (01:51:16):
What is it called.

Speaker 4 (01:51:17):
It's called the Bucktail fire, and this has been burning
for over a month and they think that they've determined
the guy who did it. And he sounds pretty dumb.
It doesn't sound like he just started it on purpose.
But the way that it started. I'll just play the

(01:51:38):
report here now.

Speaker 5 (01:51:39):
On the Bucktail fire burning out near Montrose County.

Speaker 18 (01:51:43):
A new plumb man get this, is accused of starting
the blaze because he was trying to cremate his dog.
According to an affidavit from the Montrose County Sheriff's office,
sixty three year old Brent Garber, a homeless man, tried
to perform a ceremony for his dog, who had been
recently euthanized, and the appidavit says he put his dog
in a pit and lit the wood, then throw a

(01:52:03):
fly spray can, which later exploded, and then caught a
tree on fire. The Bucktail fire started August first and
has burned more than seven thousand acres. It's roughly eighty
percent contained. Garber's doing court tomorrow for a plea hearing.
He's facing arson and trespassing charges.

Speaker 4 (01:52:19):
Okay, so the guy wants to cremate his dog. Now,
I've never had a dog put down. I wasn't aware
that when you euthanize the dog that you then take
it with you.

Speaker 2 (01:52:31):
I thought they cream it probably costs extra though, right,
but you get to just take it with you money.
I mean, what are they going to do with it.

Speaker 5 (01:52:39):
Yeah, but you gotta pay to have a put down,
don't you. That costs money.

Speaker 2 (01:52:44):
If he's like, I want to bury it myself, Can
I have the body? I don't think. Can I tell
you no him he's your dog.

Speaker 5 (01:52:50):
I saw a guy on an off ramp earlier in
the week.

Speaker 4 (01:52:53):
I forget where I was, but it was a guy,
homeless guy, and he's standing there and he's got a
sign on a stick and it's your standard. Hey, anything
will help fare whatever it is. But right next to
him is a wheelchair with a dog in it. But
the dog is As I'm rounding the corner, I see
that the dog. It looked like a pit or one

(01:53:14):
of those bigger dogs, and it was slumped over the
back of the wheelchair so like the top of the
seat was in the dog's neck and the dog. I
have to assume that the dog was still alive. I
don't know if it was dead. That's that's morbid. But
and the dog looked like I was sleeping, but his
head was just hanging off the back of the wheelchair.

(01:53:38):
I'm like, what is happening here with these this guy?
And yeah, the dog just looked like he had had
enough and he wanted nothing more to do with it.
But this guy out there in Colorado, he wants to
give his dog a fond farewell and up until you know,

(01:54:00):
you figure, okay, puts the dog in a pit, all right,
throw some wood in there, all right. He had carved
into a little rock. The dog's name was Rocket, and
so he was trying to hold a small funeral for
his dog. And so he had dug a pit. And
there was a rock that said October twenty seventeen to

(01:54:25):
July twenty twenty four, Rocket Dog, Rest in peace, buddy,
is what it said. So puts the dog in the
pit with the wood. But then he throws, like the
lady said, throws a can of insect spray in there.
I guess he thought that that would what the thinking is,
what that will? Yeah, right, that will accelerate the whole thing,

(01:54:51):
like kindling. I guess I always think that if you
are homeless for any appreciable amount of time, you've learned
some things, right, you know a few things. You've been
living on the street. You've learned the good, the bad,
and the ugly about life. And throwing a pressurized can

(01:55:11):
of insects spray onto a fire. Well here's the silver
lining though. You know what, that guy's not homeless anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:55:20):
I was just going to say that. I was like,
maybe he did that on purpose.

Speaker 5 (01:55:23):
He's not homeless.

Speaker 2 (01:55:24):
Like my dog's dead, I'm homeless. I got nothing to
live for. Screw it.

Speaker 9 (01:55:28):
If anything happens, maybe I'll catch on fire, maybe a
trio catch on fire.

Speaker 2 (01:55:32):
Maybe they'll come arrest me.

Speaker 4 (01:55:35):
And you know, this was in the middle of a forest,
in the middle of nowhere. So I don't know where
this guy was homeless, unless he was like living in
the woods or something.

Speaker 7 (01:55:44):
I don't know what.

Speaker 5 (01:55:45):
State this is in Colorado.

Speaker 2 (01:55:49):
There's not a lot of homeless dogs out here in
New York. I'm serious. I mean that's quite a bit.

Speaker 9 (01:55:55):
Yeah, like homeless people with pets, you know, I haven't
really seen that many.

Speaker 14 (01:56:00):
Then.

Speaker 4 (01:56:00):
Maybe it's more West Coast thing. You know, everybody's got
a dog with him out there. I remember first being
out there. Yeah, when I was in where I was,
man a lot of yeah homeless with dogs.

Speaker 5 (01:56:12):
In here too. Yeah, But maybe you just haven't been
in the right areas of New York yet.

Speaker 2 (01:56:20):
Maybe not.

Speaker 9 (01:56:21):
My neighborhood doesn't have very many homeless people like at all.
So when I do see him, it's usually around the
comedy clubs. There's one guy who gets butt naked and
brushes his feet off with a broom. He stands by,
he's near the stand all the time.

Speaker 5 (01:56:39):
Brushes, brushes the dirt off of his feet.

Speaker 2 (01:56:41):
He's cleaning his feet with a broom.

Speaker 9 (01:56:44):
That's always go to move completely naked, brooming himself off. Yeah,
and you know, you see him once a week and
then cops comes to him up and he's gone for
a few days, and he'll be back the next week
totally naked.

Speaker 12 (01:56:57):
His broom.

Speaker 7 (01:56:58):
It's like, come on, dude, write some new material.

Speaker 2 (01:57:00):
He's a witch.

Speaker 4 (01:57:02):
And on the velt will let you keep the dog
if you have it euthanized. It costs extra for them
to cremate it. Plan accordingly is expensive. Boy, I did
not know that. I did not know that they would
euthanize your dog and then you could just walk off
with it.

Speaker 2 (01:57:13):
Dude. People taxidermy animals and stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:57:16):
Yeah, but I thought that they Yeah, but I figured
there was a you know, the taxidermist comes and gets
it and then you get it back when it's stuffed,
and you put it on your mantle. I guess I
did even realize you take the dog transport it to
the taxidermist.

Speaker 7 (01:57:30):
I just I guess.

Speaker 4 (01:57:31):
You know, like when a person dies, they come get
the body from the hospital or the house.

Speaker 5 (01:57:36):
You don't take the body to another you don't take
it to the funeral home.

Speaker 2 (01:57:40):
But dogs aren't people.

Speaker 4 (01:57:41):
No, I understand. I just thought that maybe there was
a it's a list, Mary Santora's list. Dogs aren't people.

Speaker 7 (01:57:52):
It's a good one.

Speaker 18 (01:57:52):
That is.

Speaker 7 (01:57:54):
That's a banger.

Speaker 2 (01:57:55):
Try to argue it.

Speaker 5 (01:57:58):
That's why I want it on the list. I can
argue it.

Speaker 4 (01:58:01):
Dogs aren't people. Okay, let me see if there's anything
similar to that. This might be something that she is
trying to get past us, but she's thrown it out before.
Dogs aren't people. The most recent edition was you don't
want a poop shower.

Speaker 2 (01:58:17):
I don't remember that one.

Speaker 5 (01:58:18):
Well, of course not. That's the beauty of the list.

Speaker 7 (01:58:22):
There are alcoholics in France and I can't drink a
whole glass of spit.

Speaker 2 (01:58:28):
These facts.

Speaker 4 (01:58:29):
Again, we haven't even tested that. We don't know if yeah,
we're not we're not. We're not debating the veracity.

Speaker 7 (01:58:36):
My question is.

Speaker 4 (01:58:38):
We don't know that you can't drink a whole glass
of spin. That now, with that attitude, you never know
what you can do until you push yourself.

Speaker 7 (01:58:49):
If you drink a whole glass of spin, and you'll
never be tired again, Like you'll never feel tired.

Speaker 5 (01:58:56):
What size is the glass? It's like a regular eight.

Speaker 2 (01:58:59):
Ounce quassit my own spit.

Speaker 5 (01:59:02):
No, it's it's a variety of people's spit.

Speaker 2 (01:59:07):
They've all been tested.

Speaker 7 (01:59:08):
Yeah, you're not, they're they're not. It's just spit. It's healthy, clean.

Speaker 2 (01:59:13):
Spit that makes you want to throw up just thinking
about it.

Speaker 7 (01:59:15):
Dude, you don't feel tired.

Speaker 2 (01:59:18):
I think I'm more mentally tired than anything.

Speaker 7 (01:59:22):
Mentally you would never have that, like that feeling of
like exhaustion of whatever you feel right now, that fogginess.

Speaker 2 (01:59:30):
You'd be like one glass. Dude, I can't. I'm starting
to sell it it.

Speaker 4 (01:59:36):
I can't because you're thirsty. It's making her hungry, thirsty
for spit. That's a good album, Old Screaming Trees. I think, well,
think about it.

Speaker 2 (01:59:52):
I don't know if I could do.

Speaker 4 (01:59:53):
Because we've been Bill and I have been getting into voodoo,
and there might be something there. There might be something
that we can.

Speaker 7 (02:00:05):
Deal with.

Speaker 4 (02:00:05):
There might be able to fix that up. One glass
of spin that ance glass?

Speaker 2 (02:00:12):
Can I throw up? I don't. I wouldn't be able
to do without puking. I already know that.

Speaker 4 (02:00:17):
Well, whatever comes out, you gotta drink, all right, absolutely
not listen. These are the important things that we need
to hash out.

Speaker 7 (02:00:28):
Could you do it?

Speaker 5 (02:00:29):
Drink a glass of spit?

Speaker 2 (02:00:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (02:00:32):
To never be tired, I mean I think I might
need a little bit more than never be tired. Again,
I'd need a little bit more than that. An eight
ounce glass. It's like a ball jar. I mean, I guess,
not not even a whole one. It's those are twelve.

Speaker 5 (02:00:48):
Ounce glasses, I think.

Speaker 4 (02:00:51):
Yeah, but uh, you know, if you don't really think
about it, you close your eyes because you know some
of it's going to be clear, but some of it's
gonna be green.

Speaker 5 (02:00:57):
There's gonna be reds in it.

Speaker 13 (02:00:59):
It's not about the color or the way it looks.
It's about the viscous viscosity.

Speaker 5 (02:01:04):
It's gonna be like a melted milkshake. She's not down
with a thickness.

Speaker 7 (02:01:11):
All right. Well, that's one more thing that we know
about Mary. You right there, No, that's so gross, dude,
one more thing that we know about her.

Speaker 2 (02:01:23):
I feel like spit is so nasty.

Speaker 7 (02:01:25):
It is nasty.

Speaker 4 (02:01:26):
It comes from people's mouths, and people take a lot
of people take terrible care of their mouths.

Speaker 9 (02:01:31):
When you said, is there anything someone could say that
would instantly make you fight them?

Speaker 2 (02:01:35):
If someone spit on me, I'd hit them in the face.

Speaker 5 (02:01:36):
Oh well, that is considered a salt. I mean if
someone that.

Speaker 13 (02:01:39):
I don't think I would even hesitate to punch someone
in the mouth if they.

Speaker 2 (02:01:43):
Spit on me.

Speaker 4 (02:01:44):
Now you're talking about actively full on, not somebody who
just like you know how some people talk and they
end up.

Speaker 13 (02:01:50):
Spit on that thing.

Speaker 2 (02:01:54):
Yeah how.

Speaker 5 (02:02:07):
The Allen Cash Show. You guys are a bunch of
morons and I love it.

Speaker 7 (02:02:12):
On one hundred point seven mms.

Speaker 16 (02:02:20):
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain,
I take a look at my wife and realize she's
very plain.

Speaker 5 (02:02:26):
But that's just perfect for it.

Speaker 16 (02:02:28):
Amish like me, You know, I shun fancy things like
electricity at for thirty in the morning, that milk and
cows have a die of pizza chickens and Jacob plows
fool And I've been milking and plow and so long
that even a Zechio thinks that my.

Speaker 5 (02:02:42):
Mind is gone. I'm a man of the land.

Speaker 16 (02:02:45):
I'm into discipline, got a bible in my hand and
a beard on my chin.

Speaker 5 (02:02:49):
But if I finish all.

Speaker 16 (02:02:50):
Of my chores and to finish time, then tonight we're
going to party like it's sixteen ninety nine.

Speaker 5 (02:02:56):
Best Man, the Most Lives of It.

Speaker 4 (02:03:06):
We were talking the other day about Weird Al getting
way out in front of next year's tour. The tickets
are on sale tomorrow ten am. On the show about
a year away, the Bigger and Weirder Tour. He's going
out in twenty twenty five, including a show out at
Blossom on September the thirteenth of next year, twenty twenty five.

(02:03:30):
But they will go on sale tomorrow morning ten o'clock,
and my mind was kind of blown. I was watching
John Oliver's show and he pointed out that weird Al
is older than Tim Walls, right, vice presidential candidate with
Kamala Harris, Tim Walls, We're just weird Al is going

(02:03:54):
to be sixty five years old next month, and Tim
Walls just turned six this past April.

Speaker 5 (02:04:02):
Now the question is who wore it better.

Speaker 4 (02:04:04):
I mean, if you want to do like the hair swap,
you know, weird Al's hair which is not not necessarily
a hallmark of his vibe, but he's had long hair
for a long long time.

Speaker 5 (02:04:17):
You only chop it off.

Speaker 4 (02:04:18):
Weirdal could easily shave his head and it wouldn't hurt
his popularity at all.

Speaker 5 (02:04:23):
You're a liar, Oh you think so?

Speaker 2 (02:04:26):
You don't think that's part of him.

Speaker 5 (02:04:27):
It's like Slash, but Slash is always wearing a dopey
top hat.

Speaker 9 (02:04:32):
But I'm saying, like Slash has the hat and the
hair now has the hair, that's part of it. If
he went like a buzz cut, although I mean maybe.

Speaker 7 (02:04:43):
I mean he could originally have more of a fro
look he did than the long and the mustache. And
yeah he still at the mustache, right.

Speaker 4 (02:04:50):
I don't think so. I think weird All's clean shaven,
but he is weird so who knows? Yeah, but he no,
he's kept the long hair and and he's clean shaven.
Wonder what that guy's worth. I mean, where now's a
guy who was it kind of ebbed and flowed for
him for a while and then he just I mean

(02:05:12):
he had some lean years there. What blew him back up?
Just nostalgia.

Speaker 9 (02:05:20):
I mean when I was in elementary school, they would
play his songs for us, like just eat It, yeah,
instead of just beat It. I remember listening to that
in like third or fourth grade during snack time. They
would play it at the beginning of snack time.

Speaker 8 (02:05:33):
Jesse.

Speaker 5 (02:05:33):
That's how they would get you guys to eat your food.

Speaker 2 (02:05:36):
That's no, that's how we knew it was snack time.

Speaker 4 (02:05:38):
Oh oh, it was like you guys had a Pavlovian
response to that song.

Speaker 2 (02:05:42):
Maybe I was younger than nexts.

Speaker 13 (02:05:43):
I don't know if we had snacks in like second
and third grade, I was young, but I specifically remember
them playing that song.

Speaker 4 (02:05:49):
They'd play the whole thing, No. Nineteen eighty four, I
mean the song predates.

Speaker 2 (02:05:56):
I mean this would have been like nineties ninety five.

Speaker 5 (02:06:00):
Okay, the song was a decade old by them.

Speaker 7 (02:06:04):
Yeah, was such a buzzy young man.

Speaker 5 (02:06:10):
Don't want Captain Rush want no Raisin Brand? Well, don't
you know what others were starting in Japan?

Speaker 10 (02:06:17):
Eat It, eat it?

Speaker 5 (02:06:21):
So your teacher would start the song and you go, oh,
it's snack time.

Speaker 2 (02:06:25):
Well, they would only play like the chorus, I seem.

Speaker 5 (02:06:29):
Eat it, eat it. Okay, you tell me about it now?
Does this make your mouth water for that big glass
of spit?

Speaker 7 (02:06:38):
Do you are you?

Speaker 5 (02:06:39):
Does this trigger nostalgia?

Speaker 18 (02:06:41):
And it.

Speaker 7 (02:06:43):
Doesn't know anymore anyway.

Speaker 4 (02:06:47):
Weird Al is going to be here next year, and
he will be sixty five years old by the time
we see him next year, he will be a few
weeks away from his sixty sixth birthday.

Speaker 5 (02:07:00):
And I think he's an old dad too, isn't he.

Speaker 4 (02:07:03):
I mean, I remember see it, of course, Jesus, that
was a long time ago, but I remember him.

Speaker 5 (02:07:08):
Pushing a stroller.

Speaker 4 (02:07:09):
I was having dinner at a river front restaurant in
Pittsburgh and he was in town that weekend and he
I'm literally, my table is right there, next to the railing,
next to the sidewalking in the river, and weird Awl
is pushing a stroller, just walking there with his wife.
So I guess, I know I suck at math, but
that would make his kid like college age, now, I guess.

(02:07:32):
But I thought he had like a little kid too,
but probably not because I think he's been married to
the same woman for a long long time. But weird
Al sixty four, Tim Walls sixty years old, Star Wars
Saga blew him back up?

Speaker 7 (02:07:46):
What does that mean?

Speaker 5 (02:07:47):
Because he had the Star Wars, he had the a
long long time ago.

Speaker 7 (02:07:52):
He did like, oh is that what it was that
blew him back up in the mid two thousands, and
then he had his like about ten years ago, he
had his album reached number one on the charts for
the very first time. Okay, just because everybody's like a thing, Yeah, whatever,
the one that like the Lady Gaga one. I think

(02:08:12):
it was.

Speaker 5 (02:08:14):
This way, perform, this way, perform.

Speaker 7 (02:08:17):
This way.

Speaker 14 (02:08:19):
He did.

Speaker 2 (02:08:20):
I mean ride and Dirty, White and Dirty.

Speaker 7 (02:08:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:08:24):
I think that might have been an upcomeback for him.

Speaker 4 (02:08:27):
That was the song that I associated with him kind
of coming back in a big way.

Speaker 5 (02:08:31):
Yeah, But I mean he he kind of had.

Speaker 7 (02:08:35):
Like there's eras, there's the eighties era, the nineties era,
which was like Amish Paradise was huge. Yeah, I guess so.
I mean, I just it's not like he did an
album every year. He did an album like once every
like five years. Because I mean you can google him.
And one of the questions is what happened to weird

(02:08:55):
Al Yankovic Following the release of Mandatory Tory Fun. Yeah,
that was didn't do many songs, right, but Mandatory Fun
was the one that made it to number one, like
it was like number one album and well on that
that Daniel Radcliffe movie didn't hurt either, No, it didn't.
That things two or three years old by now. I
think it was really funny. It was great. It was

(02:09:16):
really good.

Speaker 5 (02:09:16):
Yeah, it did not have to be that good. It
was so fun right.

Speaker 4 (02:09:21):
Yeah, if you haven't seen, it's called Weird the Al
Yankovic story, and it's it's bronker not a biopic.

Speaker 2 (02:09:29):
I thought it was. I didn't know he did all
this crazy stuff.

Speaker 7 (02:09:32):
This is wild.

Speaker 5 (02:09:35):
Yeah, dated Madonna and it was fun that. Not El Choppo,
who was the guy back then, the big drug guy.

Speaker 7 (02:09:43):
Not I was gonna say Salasar that's not right. No,
it's the whole guy with the hip hop, the whole
it was no, no, no, no, the Narcos guy. Yeah,
it's right on the tip of my tongue.

Speaker 5 (02:09:59):
Pablo s.

Speaker 4 (02:10:01):
Pablo Escobar. People are passing this Amari Cooper clip around
from your Cleveland Browns saying that the media this is
like a post game Q and A or something or
media Day thing, and I guess he what he missed
a big play or something. Mari Cooper, Yeah, is that

(02:10:22):
what they're giving him a hard I don't know what
he no, maybe somebody else. He had two touchdowns, he
played really well this past week. Maybe they were asking
him about somebody else, and he was complaining that the
local media doesn't ask good questions when they talk to
these guys.

Speaker 17 (02:10:43):
Some of you all don't ask the best questions, but
you don't have me criticizing. So yeah, I think it's
just the nature of the business. I mean, obviously we
get scrutinized more than you guys do, So I mean
I think, maybe, you know, maybe I should start asking
questions in front of the cameras so they can see
all faces.

Speaker 7 (02:11:03):
But yeah, I just think that's just how it goes.

Speaker 17 (02:11:07):
You know, they see everything we do under a microscope,
so we're gonna get scoupnos more and.

Speaker 7 (02:11:12):
For mistakes that.

Speaker 4 (02:11:13):
Everybody makes, okay, AnyWho, Yeah, that's why they pay twenty dude,
Mary Kay Cabot doesn't have to be on camera asking
you a question. He's being very passive aggressive there with
the media. And listen, if you're an athlete, I get it.
You're getting asked like the same questions all the time,

(02:11:35):
but then you drive off into Bugatti. So I bet
you can probably deal with it for a little while.
I bet you'll be okay. I bet you'll be just fine.
Cohl question that was The question was about Mary Kay
Cabot asked about a play on Sunday in which Deshaun

(02:12:01):
Watson appeared to miss a wide open Jordan Aikins on
a critical fourth and one. So not a confrontational question,
just along the lines of, hey, there was this.

Speaker 7 (02:12:13):
I mean, well, it was a big john point in
the game.

Speaker 5 (02:12:16):
I believe. Yeah, You've got to god, I said that
a billion times.

Speaker 7 (02:12:21):
I can't imagine anything worse than being in sports media
where you got to just come up with these dumb
questions for people who don't want to answer them because
you got column inches to fill up. And it's just like, oh, man, well,
I believe Deshaun Watson's answer was he was a decoy,
so I wasn't going to throw him the ball even
though he was wide open. It's like, dude, if he's open,

(02:12:41):
you mean like a paper mache guy out there.

Speaker 5 (02:12:43):
And I mean he was.

Speaker 7 (02:12:44):
He was to draw a defender but he didn't draw
a defender. He was wide open, and you need it
was a fourth and one, and why not throw the
ball that way? I think it, and I think people's
response to Deshaun Watson's you know, poor play and poor
response to that question just has uh, everybody in Cleveland

(02:13:07):
that's still trying to share for the Browns pretty fed up.

Speaker 5 (02:13:10):
I see that he's just being dismissive.

Speaker 7 (02:13:12):
Mm hm.

Speaker 4 (02:13:14):
Well again, this is the thing, like, I don't know
how if you're an athlete, it's like you're the media's
butting heads of the athletes.

Speaker 5 (02:13:20):
Athletes are butting heads.

Speaker 4 (02:13:21):
I don't know how anybody makes this thing work where
you're asking questions, Hey, why.

Speaker 5 (02:13:25):
Didn't you do that, and they go, I don't know,
because we didn't. I think they want an honest response
to that. Yeah, like because he didn't say that, you
know that, I understand.

Speaker 4 (02:13:41):
But even if he did, then some then somebody's got
to ask a follow up question, right, and then they're
gonna go, I just told you. I mean, I know
you need longer answers because you're you got you're filling
up pages, But I don't have a longer answer for you.

Speaker 7 (02:13:57):
We screwed up.

Speaker 4 (02:13:59):
Everybody's like the athletes gotta do their job, reporters got
to do their job. Oh god, I must suck you
just in there again. Let me ask this guy again,
why didn't you do that? And the guy is like,
because I don't know, I'm out there, and what do
you want from me?

Speaker 12 (02:14:16):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (02:14:20):
There was Dragon stone Cold Steve Boston because he said
he doesn't believe in CTE. I mean, you know, this
is kind of where we are, by the way, this
is like a little snapshot of kind of like the
culture right now where so many people equate science with
something that they like treat like religion, where they're like, eh,

(02:14:42):
like religion, you can go, I don't believe in that,
or I do believe in that. Science is not that
it's not a thing to believe in or not believe in. Well,
here's the evidence for this, which religion does not have.
So that is why that is an issue of faith.
I believe in this because I want to, or I
believe in this because stone Cold said if guys are

(02:15:05):
getting he doesn't believe in CTE. Because if you're getting
hurt in the ring, it means you're doing something wrong.

Speaker 5 (02:15:11):
You're I guess. He means you're falling the wrong.

Speaker 2 (02:15:13):
Way or you're so he doesn't believe in it.

Speaker 4 (02:15:16):
For wrestling, he goes, I'm not a CTE guy. I mean, listen,
A long time ago, there was this guy named Chris Benoit.
He was the heir to the Ball's fortune, if I
recall correctly, and he had got himself into professional wrestling
and he killed his wife and his kid, and he
killed himself. This was probably almost twenty years ago, Chris benwah,

(02:15:39):
and they studied his brain, they chopped it up. I
think they wanted to know what was going on. And
that was when they started Junior Seau and these other
guys who had killed themselves. That's when they started talking
about CTE. And it was mostly in football, but it
was in wrestling too.

Speaker 7 (02:15:57):
Has he even seen concussion?

Speaker 5 (02:16:00):
Truth?

Speaker 7 (02:16:00):
Truth tend the truth?

Speaker 4 (02:16:03):
He said, I got dropped on my head for a
long time. I got concussed, but I didn't get too
many concussions in pro wrestling. If you've got a bunch
of concussions, you're probably doing something wrong. I just don't
believe in CTE, is what he said.

Speaker 7 (02:16:19):
Oh what a lot of people do do stuff wrong
in wrestling, and that's why they get like that's like saying,
I don't believe in somebody tearing their ACM.

Speaker 5 (02:16:26):
Like that's what people are trying to Like that was
what people to. Not believing in ct is proof that
it exists. CT exists.

Speaker 7 (02:16:38):
You're wearing braces on your knee for half your career.
You're retired because of injuries that you have were you're
doing ct bill c CTE.

Speaker 4 (02:16:51):
They should ask Stone Cold's ex wives if they believe
in CTE. A that guy was always getting hauled in
for domestic violence. Guy's been married like five times.

Speaker 5 (02:17:01):
Ask them.

Speaker 7 (02:17:02):
I bet they do.

Speaker 14 (02:17:04):
Hey, Ali, Hi, Hi, You guys were talking about concussions.

Speaker 3 (02:17:11):
Have you guys watched the Aaron Hernandez Show on Hulu?

Speaker 7 (02:17:15):
Yeah? No, I want to know. Did that start already? Yeah?
I think so. Yeah, Yeah, it's so good. A concussion
high school.

Speaker 18 (02:17:27):
Yeah, then he got another one in college.

Speaker 4 (02:17:32):
And they think that that that damage to his brain
is what led him to murder a guy to be gay, dude.

Speaker 7 (02:17:38):
I think it was crazy way before that.

Speaker 2 (02:17:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (02:17:41):
I think it's like a compounding assortment of things. But
I watched the documentaries on it, and it's it's really sad.
It's really but it like I get the fascination with
it because it is unlike anything we've seen before.

Speaker 5 (02:17:58):
Yeah, all right, so you're so Ali, you're giving it
the two thumbs up?

Speaker 8 (02:18:04):
Oh?

Speaker 14 (02:18:04):
Absolutely, all right.

Speaker 5 (02:18:06):
I really don't know much about thank you, Ali.

Speaker 4 (02:18:08):
I really don't know much about Aaron Hernandez other than
he was with the Patriots and he killed a guy
and he was trying to hide that he was gay,
and pound Cake thought he was thug hot, right, thug hot. Yeah,
he's probably watching this with his pants down. American Sports Story.
You know, over there at FX they do American Crime
Story and they do American American Sports Story with Aaron

(02:18:31):
Hernandez ten episodes. Jesus, this is why British shows do
it right. They do like five or six episodes, and
I go a story told next ten episodes of Aaron Hernandez.
I don't recognize one person in this cast.

Speaker 2 (02:18:52):
Hey, that's a point. They don't want to distract you with.

Speaker 4 (02:18:55):
Oh h and Nicholas Cage as Aaron Hernandez. That would
be distracted. And he played Aaron Hernandez. Yeah, not even
age appropriate. Jake Cannavale is in this. I bet you
that that's a Bobby Cannabali's kid looks like him, so

(02:19:15):
maybe it's just sons and daughters of more well known people.
A guy named Tony Yazbek is playing Urban Meyer, and
he kind of looks like him. Now fill in the
gaps here for me. What does Urban Meyer have to
do with the Aaron Hernandez story. He was this coach
in college he was Yeah, that.

Speaker 5 (02:19:36):
Was before he went to Ohio State.

Speaker 7 (02:19:37):
Was yeah, that was when he was with Florida Okay,
University of Florida and he was on that team with
Tim Tebow and.

Speaker 5 (02:19:44):
Gotch Well there you go. They won national championships.

Speaker 4 (02:19:48):
Your mission, should you choose to accept, it to watch
ten episodes. That's ten hours, Mary Lynn, Yes, that you
will have to. You've got ten free hours you can
devote as he.

Speaker 5 (02:20:05):
If you don't vote for Trump, you're gay.

Speaker 11 (02:20:08):
If you don't vote for Trump, you're gay.

Speaker 20 (02:20:10):
If you don't vote for Trump, if you don't vote
for Trump, if you don't vote for Trump, you're gay.

Speaker 7 (02:20:15):
Hey, so don't be gay, vote for Trump.

Speaker 11 (02:20:19):
Don't be gay, nonld Trump.

Speaker 7 (02:20:21):
Oh, don't be gay vote for Trump on election day? Hey, ah,
we that can't be true, right, Bill, I mean because
I'm not voting for Trump.

Speaker 5 (02:20:35):
I mean it's in a song, so I guess it's
it's gonna be true.

Speaker 4 (02:20:39):
I hope it's not because I'm gonna have to How
is that gonna change my life?

Speaker 5 (02:20:44):
Though?

Speaker 4 (02:20:44):
Because I'm gonna have to re I'm gonna have to
rework at the very least rework my schedule.

Speaker 7 (02:20:50):
Well, that's what I'm gonna have to. You've already not
voted for him, right, It's not like this is the
magic time that turns you gay. You've been gay? Oh
I've been I mean I I okay? Oh no, yep,
So I've been gay for almost ten years. Yeah you
got Well what I've been wasting all this time?

Speaker 14 (02:21:09):
Then?

Speaker 7 (02:21:10):
I mean you homo sexual?

Speaker 14 (02:21:14):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (02:21:14):
God, wasting a lot of time?

Speaker 8 (02:21:16):
All right?

Speaker 5 (02:21:17):
Well, I don't know how I feel about that, because
I definitely don't feel gay. You look gay, all right?

Speaker 7 (02:21:27):
You want to keep going ill?

Speaker 4 (02:21:31):
You can't smell me, Maryay, I smell amazing.

Speaker 5 (02:21:35):
I walk gay. Yeah, that's why you That's why you
smell gay.

Speaker 7 (02:21:38):
You know I know you're gay?

Speaker 5 (02:21:39):
How do you know how I walk gay?

Speaker 11 (02:21:42):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (02:21:43):
You know I know you're gay. You just told me,
you're not sleeping with women anymore.

Speaker 5 (02:21:46):
You know I know that you're gay because you're gay,
and you can tell who other gay people are. You know,
I know you're gay. You like cold Play?

Speaker 7 (02:21:52):
You know how I know that you're gay. You like
the movie Made in Manhattan.

Speaker 5 (02:21:56):
You know I know your gay how I saw you
make a spinach dip in a lopas sour no bred ones.
Oh god, I do like Made Manhattan?

Speaker 7 (02:22:03):
Does that? It's starting all signs?

Speaker 4 (02:22:07):
I guess so well, With all due respect to the
gay community, I'm really bummed out because that's that's gonna
could be completely that's really gonna ruin my weekend.

Speaker 5 (02:22:19):
Now make it the best weekend of your entire life.

Speaker 7 (02:22:22):
You do it right, I mean, damn when it comes
down to it, it certainly does.

Speaker 5 (02:22:28):
You still owe me three iroquoi twists.

Speaker 7 (02:22:33):
Call the Alan Cox Show. You just die, you insufferable prick.

Speaker 6 (02:22:37):
Two one six seven eight one double oh seven or
eight one double oh seven.

Speaker 7 (02:23:29):
Three five.

Speaker 4 (02:23:30):
Want to send me a text? If you're listening to
us on iHeartRadio, tell me where you do that. I
just like to know who's out there. Mary is in
wake Forest, North Carolina. Dan's Beer Chief in Chicago. Willie
is in Louisville, Kentucky. Steve's up in Hartford, Connecticut. John

(02:23:52):
is in Jeffersonville, Indiana. April's in Moore Park, California. Allen, Allen,
exclamation point. Please ask Mary if she's going to catch
Stgil Simpson on tour.

Speaker 2 (02:24:06):
No, I don't even know who that is.

Speaker 5 (02:24:08):
Oh, really, I know who he is. He's pretty good.

Speaker 2 (02:24:11):
I think I've heard that name.

Speaker 4 (02:24:12):
This person's going to see him at the I'm going
to the Fox Theater in Detroit to see him. Is
that a sketchy area, Yes it is. Yes, Well just
keep your head in the swivel. Downtown Detroit can be
a lot of fun. Stergil Simpson, I feel like is
more of He's more on the Wilco end of country.

Speaker 5 (02:24:35):
Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 4 (02:24:37):
I like him because he reminds me of like those
old outlaw country guys, which is the style of country
music that if I'm going to listen to any of it.
And again, I hated it when I was a kid.
It was like what my grandmother would listen to. I
was just too young to appreciate it. I didn't know
what the hell was going on. But I love all
that stuff. Now Stergil Simpson is again I don't know

(02:25:01):
that this is a guy that I would go see,
but I mean I like what i've heard of him.

Speaker 1 (02:25:09):
Well, a good dog going on the grounds worth three
in the saddle, no matter where you're.

Speaker 5 (02:25:13):
From, been many good dog was a friend to a man.

Speaker 1 (02:25:17):
But Sam was the greatest fun. He was a hound
of hounds. He was the wonder of all walks.

Speaker 4 (02:25:24):
Talking about his dog. I mean, I guess you got
to like kind of a soggy bottom boys vibe. Yeah,
he just dropped a new album in July that is
worth checking out. So anyway, there you go. Thank you
appreciate that. You know, with respect to the whole Diddy thing,

(02:25:47):
everybody who was ever at a Diddy party has had
to come out and that was a lot of people. Boy,
not just the freak offs, but more likely your A
list celebrities are going to be at those white parties
and really really backfired when they like photoshopped some Well
we talked about the you know, right wingers, we're trying

(02:26:09):
to say that Kamala Harris was connected to Diddy. It
was a picture of Montel Williams, right, It wasn't even Ditty.

Speaker 5 (02:26:16):
Not that that matters. They don't care.

Speaker 7 (02:26:17):
They don't care.

Speaker 5 (02:26:19):
But the point was, is it still pushing the whole
Haitians eating pets thing?

Speaker 4 (02:26:22):
That too, But there are more than enough photos of
actual Trump back in the day at ditty parties. Nevertheless,
a lot of people went to those ditty parties, So
that's not even the flex that left wingers might think
it is. A lot of people were at those. So
all of these people have had to come out and
say one thing or the other. Now you might remember

(02:26:43):
an actor named Reginald vell Johnson.

Speaker 5 (02:26:46):
Remember him.

Speaker 4 (02:26:47):
He was a dad on Family Matters. He was the
cop and die hard. He says, Didd, he's getting railroaded.
He's the guy that's coming out and.

Speaker 7 (02:26:56):
All you have to do is say nothing, like why
why are you the one that's standing up for Well.

Speaker 4 (02:27:02):
No, because TMZ catches the he's not dancing with the
stars right now. Okay, So TMZ catches him walking out
of rehearsal and they go, hey, there's a black actor, let's.

Speaker 5 (02:27:12):
Ask him about Diddy.

Speaker 4 (02:27:13):
And I guess he I don't know if he came
to Ditty's defense, but he was like, he's getting railroaded.

Speaker 5 (02:27:18):
Blah blah blah.

Speaker 4 (02:27:20):
But aside from celebrities, you know, j Lo, she's sitting
at home pucker and because she's worried that whatever anybody
who she dated the guy right. But other organizations have
to get in the mix too, Specifically Costco, I guess

(02:27:41):
felt compelled to put out a statement denying that Diddy
got his baby oil from them, because he got so
much that if you think, oh, how do you get
something in bulk, people think Costco us pleabes. We think think, well,
if we needed a lot of anything, we'd go to Costco.

(02:28:06):
And Ditty's lawyer, I think what the reason Costco did
this is is I think Ditty's lawyer was implying.

Speaker 5 (02:28:16):
That Didd he bought a lot at Costco.

Speaker 4 (02:28:20):
Now Costco is quick to point out, we don't even
sell baby oil. None of the locations in the United
States for Costco carry baby oil.

Speaker 7 (02:28:30):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (02:28:32):
I don't know why.

Speaker 4 (02:28:35):
They've got They've got a pharmacy there, they've got all
kinds of other baby products.

Speaker 5 (02:28:41):
Ash she asked, babies going to Costco.

Speaker 4 (02:28:45):
But I mean, if you're you know, because that's the
that's the little piece of information that was floating out
there is it. When they raided Ditty's house, they found
a thousand bottles of lubricant of baby the oil and all,
you know, And so for these freak off parties or whatever. Now,

(02:29:05):
if you're a guy as wealthy as he is, you're not,
you don't have to go to Costco. You could order
a thousand of anything and have it shipped to your
offices or whatever. But Costco, I guess, felt compelled to
differ with Diddy's attorney's assessment of how things were going,

(02:29:29):
saying that, no, it's not us. Diddy did not get
his baby oil at us Costco locations. See, they would
have been smart to have pivoted directly to.

Speaker 5 (02:29:44):
The hot Dog. It would have been nice if they
like it. Sounds like a Sam's Club purchase to me, right,
I mean.

Speaker 4 (02:29:57):
So, yeah, the lawyer is trying to to imply that
maybe it was something beyond just ordering them in bulk.

Speaker 3 (02:30:06):
But you know, back when I was a kid in
the late seventies, they were called threesomes.

Speaker 10 (02:30:11):
If these are genuinely threesomes, how do you explain a
thousand bottles of baby.

Speaker 4 (02:30:17):
Wait, back when I was a kid, they were called threesomes.
This lawyer was having threesomes as a kid in the seventies.

Speaker 7 (02:30:23):
He's talking about I.

Speaker 4 (02:30:24):
Was a kid in the seventies. I didn't know threesomes.
Well you, I didn't even have two friends.

Speaker 2 (02:30:29):
Okay, so then you answered your own question. What nobody
wanted to threesome with you?

Speaker 7 (02:30:35):
Hm? When I was a kid? You know why, Mary?

Speaker 5 (02:30:38):
Because I found that I'm gay? How do you feel
about that?

Speaker 2 (02:30:40):
They all knew.

Speaker 4 (02:30:41):
Now this all comes to light because I'm not voting
for Trump. According to that guy, I'm gay.

Speaker 2 (02:30:45):
And a recovering Catholic. That's like the geest.

Speaker 4 (02:30:48):
There is no recovering from being Catholic. You just ignore
it and move on with your life, reach the age
of reason.

Speaker 5 (02:30:56):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 7 (02:30:57):
Maybe oil.

Speaker 3 (02:30:58):
I don't know where the number one thousand came the
US attorney said it. I can't imagine it's thousands. I mean,
you know, and I'm not really sure what the baby
oil has to do with anything.

Speaker 7 (02:31:07):
They're essentially saying it's a lubricant for an orgy.

Speaker 2 (02:31:10):
I guess I don't know what you need.

Speaker 5 (02:31:12):
A thousand one bottle of baby oil goes a long way.

Speaker 2 (02:31:14):
I don't know what you didn't need.

Speaker 5 (02:31:15):
You can tell this.

Speaker 7 (02:31:18):
His high register there. Oh, maybe it goes a long way.
He's like the ticket taker kid in the Simpsons. Here's
your popcorn, sir, he'saby oil.

Speaker 5 (02:31:30):
One bottle of.

Speaker 3 (02:31:31):
Baby oil goes a long way. I don't know what
you didn't need a thousand for. I mean he has
a big house. He buys in bulk, you know.

Speaker 7 (02:31:37):
I think they have.

Speaker 3 (02:31:37):
Costcos in every place where he has a home. I mean,
have you sat in the parking lot of a costco
and see what people walk out of there with?

Speaker 7 (02:31:43):
Not a thousand bottles of baby oil?

Speaker 5 (02:31:45):
I don't think it was a thousand.

Speaker 2 (02:31:46):
I think it was.

Speaker 11 (02:31:46):
I think it was.

Speaker 7 (02:31:47):
Let's just just say it's a lot. Okay, let's just
say it's a lot.

Speaker 2 (02:31:53):
If that was my lawyer, I'd be so mad. I
that guy, this is the best you got. I'd rather
not answer it.

Speaker 4 (02:32:00):
Well, listen, it's like Trump, right, You run out of
lawyers who are even willing to defend you, so you're
not getting the cream of the crop. Now again, I
don't know who this guy is. He might be amazing.
Maybe he just said a spot there on TMZ. But
Mark agna Filo is Ditty's attorney there in La and

(02:32:26):
gazun Tite Reginald vell Johnson, The didty rumors are bs
get a life, social media scumbags.

Speaker 5 (02:32:38):
That was what he said walking out of h.

Speaker 2 (02:32:41):
Hey, do you have any.

Speaker 3 (02:32:42):
Response to this bizarre story that's circulating about you and Diddy?

Speaker 7 (02:32:46):
Some guy named loose Cannon told us some story about.

Speaker 11 (02:32:51):
I don't know that man metaphor Corn.

Speaker 5 (02:32:53):
I wish it well, though, what's your message to those
who are talking about it?

Speaker 7 (02:32:56):
I'm actually what's your message to loose can.

Speaker 4 (02:32:58):
Light, loose Cannon, Lewis Cannon Cannon. Yeah, And I like
how TMZ pretends that like they just heard.

Speaker 7 (02:33:14):
This weird thing.

Speaker 4 (02:33:15):
Hey, this bizarre story that I'm sure is not true,
But you want to say something, I mean a rumor
about loose Cannon l u Ce rapper named loose Canon
or comedian. Sorry, you guys don't know the comedian Loose

(02:33:36):
Cannon claimed that he stumbled into a freak off party
where Diddy and Reginald We're doing something.

Speaker 2 (02:33:46):
To Cat Williams call out, did he at all during
his club thing?

Speaker 7 (02:33:50):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (02:33:51):
No he did.

Speaker 7 (02:33:51):
I thought I thought I saw a clip of him
in the special where he's in the green suit talking
about like a.

Speaker 9 (02:33:58):
He's talking about I don't know that he mentioned Diddy,
but he was talking about illuminati parties, like Hollywood parties,
and you see stuff you're not supposed to see.

Speaker 7 (02:34:08):
And I think people were like, oh, you talk about me.

Speaker 5 (02:34:12):
And then there's clips of Diddy on Conan talk about
his parties where he's yeah, alcohol and water.

Speaker 4 (02:34:17):
Yeah yeah, listen. There's no show over the past twenty
five years. There's no shortage of video clips of Ditty
talking about his amazing parties.

Speaker 5 (02:34:26):
None of this is going, you know, back.

Speaker 7 (02:34:28):
Into the bottle. But they're all full of baby you will.

Speaker 5 (02:34:34):
I do love the memes though. People will send them
to me.

Speaker 7 (02:34:37):
They're like, here's the cops trying to inspect Ditty's house
and they're all sliding down the sets.

Speaker 5 (02:34:42):
Oh, it's so good.

Speaker 4 (02:34:46):
Everybody's telling me to check out Sturgel Simpson's version of
in Bloom by Nirvana. Okay, is that something we want
to do? And Mary's a huge Nirvana fan.

Speaker 2 (02:34:56):
Do whatever you want, nothing matters.

Speaker 5 (02:35:00):
Uh, let me see here. You got a minute, Mary?

Speaker 2 (02:35:08):
Can you no?

Speaker 16 (02:35:16):
So?

Speaker 14 (02:35:17):
Okay?

Speaker 7 (02:35:19):
Whoo where.

Speaker 11 (02:35:26):
Nope?

Speaker 7 (02:35:26):
I don't like it.

Speaker 5 (02:35:27):
I don't like that.

Speaker 2 (02:35:30):
I do not care for that that sounded like church music.

Speaker 4 (02:35:34):
Why do I want a stripped down version of an
amazing song like in Bloom? Did they even do in
Bloom on their unplugged They probably had to, it was
a huge song for them, But I don't want to
strip down version of that.

Speaker 2 (02:35:47):
The only song I know for sure was on Unplugged was.

Speaker 9 (02:35:51):
Where Badfoes Going in like a Fire, Don't go Aheaway Angel?

Speaker 2 (02:35:56):
That the bit by a Dog with a rabbit tooth.

Speaker 5 (02:35:59):
I think we talked dog with a rabbit tooth.

Speaker 7 (02:36:01):
Yes, that's a like. The unplugged set is great, but
Kurt Cobain's bantering in between drives me crazy.

Speaker 20 (02:36:10):
This is David Boie song. This is when you get
from our first album. You probably have heard it now.
In Bloom is not on m t V Unplugged in
New York. I'm surprised they got them to do that.
It seems like something that of course that was when
Unplugged was like the place to go and do that stuff.
Alison Chains another one of the famously best.

Speaker 2 (02:36:34):
This was lugged Tiny Desk before Tiny Desk.

Speaker 5 (02:36:38):
Yeah, I'm just I guess still surprised that Nirvana agreed.

Speaker 7 (02:36:44):
To do it.

Speaker 5 (02:36:45):
The cure, did it well?

Speaker 9 (02:36:47):
Tea Pain doing again if you know being a platform,
you know Tea Pain doing Tiny Desk is when everyone
found out that he could.

Speaker 5 (02:36:54):
Actually Yeah, auto tune because it's fine.

Speaker 2 (02:37:00):
This is the guy who's in love with a stripper.

Speaker 7 (02:37:02):
There's no way, right, So I mean that it was leper, Mary,
He's in love with a leper? Did they reckon it
like Black Eyed Peas with let's get started, Let's get
it started in here?

Speaker 16 (02:37:19):
Yep?

Speaker 5 (02:37:21):
What was the original lyric?

Speaker 7 (02:37:23):
I can't remember.

Speaker 5 (02:37:28):
Let's get down here like bb King.

Speaker 4 (02:37:34):
Let's get unparted, and here must Harold yet departed.

Speaker 2 (02:37:40):
It was a memorial song, the title track from the.

Speaker 4 (02:37:43):
Film Let's Get Departed in Here? And then they go,
this doesn't really fit the vibe of this gritty cop thing.

Speaker 7 (02:37:52):
Do we have anything else?

Speaker 4 (02:37:53):
And then of course they went to drop kick Murphy's
shipping up to Boston. But before that, Mary's absolutely right,
Let's get departed in here. DiCaprio was in the video
a lot of fun. Marky, Mark Wahlberg, you know the
car guy. He was in it too, Clapped and unplugged. Yeah,

(02:38:13):
that was another big one. But somebody had to have
done the first one, the very first unplugged was Squeeze.

Speaker 7 (02:38:22):
The band Squeeze and they had Aerosmith and Joe Walsh
should have been Bob Dylan. He'd be like, huh, no more,
no more electric.

Speaker 5 (02:38:35):
Dylan went electric.

Speaker 4 (02:38:37):
And then have you seen the trailer for the Dylan
movie with Terry Shallome, because he sings in it and
he sounds pretty good like he. I'm not a huge
Dylan fan, but I mean insofar as he nails the
voice Dylan. Yeah, but I mean, well, because you try
to do it and sound like Bob Dylan. I mean
it's you can go eh, but you're not gonna sound

(02:38:59):
like Bob Dylan. And he didn't start off sounded like that.
So that's like the stereotypical parody version of him. But
the Timothy shallow singing bringing the song through.

Speaker 7 (02:39:14):
He got older.

Speaker 5 (02:39:14):
You know what's one of his songs, rolling like a
rolling stone?

Speaker 2 (02:39:19):
No, I don't know that one.

Speaker 4 (02:39:20):
The movie is called a Complete Unknown, which is a
line from a roller like a rolling different. Well, no,
like his You're not going to know the hurricane.

Speaker 2 (02:39:29):
The biggest one like a rolling stone.

Speaker 5 (02:39:31):
No, that's don McLean. You know, like a rolling stone
can medea.

Speaker 7 (02:39:37):
Now hey, why you said it's time fast like this?

Speaker 5 (02:39:46):
Yes, a lot of people love Bob Dylan. Yes, it
was very much of its time.

Speaker 11 (02:39:50):
But he was a.

Speaker 4 (02:39:53):
Singer songwriter and he's folk artist. Ladies going, yeah, I
remember lay Lady lay that was the first. I don't
know when that came out, but that was the Bob
Dylan song.

Speaker 7 (02:40:05):
The one from A Watchman. That's a good one.

Speaker 5 (02:40:07):
Something is whining, subterranean homesick blues.

Speaker 7 (02:40:10):
I don't know which one is A Watchman, Lay Lady
lay LEYA carls my big braids anywhere, lady lay.

Speaker 5 (02:40:20):
Leap big bras. Robert Zimmerman his real name. This was
a big deal Mary back in the day.

Speaker 4 (02:40:30):
Oh yeah, well it was the age of folk artists
and it was a it was a scandal when he started.

Speaker 5 (02:40:35):
Uh, Dylan goes electric was a change. The times they
are a change.

Speaker 4 (02:40:40):
Times they are changing and blowing in the wind. Yeah,
he's He originally did Knocking on Heaven's Door. Probably we
play that play that terrible Guns and Roses cover.

Speaker 7 (02:40:50):
All the time. Mang mag mangway.

Speaker 5 (02:40:54):
Mister tambourine man. Anyway.

Speaker 4 (02:40:56):
Timothy Shallome sings the songs in the movie. They don't
just dub Dylan in there and it's up. Sounds like
he did a pretty good that I.

Speaker 2 (02:41:04):
Could be less interested in seeing about it.

Speaker 7 (02:41:06):
Well, no you're not.

Speaker 5 (02:41:07):
You're not the audience for Bob Dylan.

Speaker 13 (02:41:09):
I wasn't the audience for the Queen one. Yeah, but
you like queen songs, Yeah, that's my point. Maybe you
like the traveling Wilbury's. Maybe it's not Dylan by himself.
Maybe you need Patty, he's the one singing. Then no, nay, may,
We're gonna go.

Speaker 3 (02:41:26):
And now I must leave you as the Brady bunch
is on, and I find four of those children incredibly arousing.

Speaker 5 (02:41:33):
Get at it.

Speaker 11 (02:41:35):
Be careful of what you say. Be careful in every way,
Be careful of what you do. Big Brother is watching you.
Be circumspect and discreet, Stay light on your mental feet.

(02:41:56):
One slip and you know you're through. Big Brother is
watching you. And a with all narratives. Remember obedience page
and when you watch that Davy screens, remember it works
both ways. You disappear in a wink. Unless you can

(02:42:21):
double think, you'll vanish into the blue. Big Brother is
watching you.
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