PREMIER LEAGUE: Arsenal get over the line in the most Arsenal-y way imaginable. Pep waves goodbye but timing strikes some as odd. Villa does Liverpool a huge favor. Spurs vs West Ham drunken dogfight for the ages goes down to the last day because of course it does.
HALFTIME: What If you are EFL judge, jury and executioner and Southampton (hypothetically) gets caught dead to rights spying on Middlesbrough before a Championship playoff semifinal... what punishment fits the crime?
ROUND THE WORLD: Xabi Alonso and Dear Leader take over at Chelsea and Real Madrid - who lasts longer and is there any way Mourinho's stint ends well? Also, extra spicy MLS minute (and a half)
STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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