Are We Needed In This?

It's a very special birthday....and how Chat GPT is helping guide couples through their relationships...

 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Are we needed in this at all? It's one more thing.
I'm one more thing before we get to arguing through
chat GPT. It's Katie's birthday today. What do you do
for your birthday? A person like you?

Speaker 2 (00:19):
I go to the gym and continue my day as usual.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
That's probably why you look so young at thirty six.
You look much younger than thirty. When I was thirty six,
I looked fifty six, and when I was fifty six,
I looked a hundred and two.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
So I really appreciate that. Because somebody asked me if
it was I was going to be.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
Forty, So I was like, oh really, oh you there,
there's something wrong with them. And I'm not just saying
this would be nice. No way, you look forty.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Aren't you?

Speaker 3 (00:51):
I heard on TikTok you're supposed to have a birthday week.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Oh now, I.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
Get a manny and a petty and a manny petty
and then you go out for mimosas or something, and
then you have a trip with your friends.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Gallentine's Day or something.

Speaker 4 (01:03):
Oh no, no, my husband works all week, So Drew's
gonna take me out for a nice dinner later this
week and just keep it simple.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
There you go. Yeah, so if you're not pleased with
the way he handles your birthday, you could ask chat
GBT if he did a good enough job, and it
would suggest what you should say to him. Kiss. So
I became aware of this the other day through someone
I know who in a group of people they talk to.

(01:33):
I gotta be vague, I'm gonna get somebody in trouble here,
and I really don't want to, but I find this
to be a fascinating topic. Apparently it's pretty damn common
for people to go to chat GPT or something similar
for some like marriage counseling or guidance or like, hey,
my husband did this, how should I react? It reminds

(01:55):
me that I've been mentioning a lot. Like the new
iPhone software, when I get a text, it has the
suggestion at the bottom of how I should respond, and
it weirds me out a little, and that sometimes it's
really dang close, like practically word for word what I
was gonna say, Like, you know, if the response is
sounds good, I'll see you then looking forward to it.

(02:15):
And I was gonna say more or less than that
that that anyway, I think, why don't I just press send.
But I haven't done it yet because it kind of
creeps me out, the idea of not forming those thoughts
myself and just kind of starting to rely on chat
GPT because then if I.

Speaker 3 (02:34):
Respond sends you a provocative text right now, and we'll
see what chat GPT suggests, because it doesn't untext, right
I'm trying to remember, yeah, yeah, yeah, because at some
point it weirds me out, and that like if I
respond with it an AI.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
Response and then THEIRS is cool, you know, that's great,
this will really be fun. But THEIRS is a if
both of them are chat GPT responses talking to me again,
Like I started, what are we doing here? We even needed?
Do we need to be here? Or we should just
let them have a conversation. Leave them alone. It look
like they're having a good time.

Speaker 4 (03:08):
I had to laugh the other day. Well no, I
let me take that back. I was not laughing. My
my dear friend's dog passed away recently and she text
messaged me about it, and one of the recommended responses
was it'll be okay, stay strong. Oh my god, if
I ever sent that, she would unfriend me yesterday.

Speaker 3 (03:28):
Wow, that is straight out of the generics aisle where
let's see, can I get a response for under two dollars? Oh,
here's one.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
Yeah, I wonder if eventually that's what it'll be. It'll
be the free one gives you suggestions like that, which
will just you know, for premium members, if you're paying
nine to ninety nine a month and it's a cheap subscription,
you know it'll put a little thought in here.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
Would you like a more insightful and compassionate response. It'll
only cost you a dollar ninety nine a month.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Right, But so these people were using chat GPT getting
into arguments with their husband or whatever, and this one
person said, I've been using it to communicate with my husband.
It's fantastic. It's a game changer. And the chat GPT
had said to this person after they explained their argument,
blah blah bah, no need to feel guilty. You're used

(04:23):
to managing his emotions and now that he's upset, it's
triggering that guilt. But you're right, he shouldn't. You shouldn't
feel guilty. If he chooses to be upset, that's on him. Okay,
that may or may not be good advice. I don't
know what the input was but again, it's a computer
telling you this, And what if he caught her like
having a threesome on the kitchen table, then right then

(04:47):
you know, well, it's up to him to deal with
his own emotions.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
You shouldn't feel guilty. Let's wait a minute. Some of
the responses.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
Some of the responses were, oh, yeah, I use it
every single day in trying to talk to my husband.
Somebody said it's teaching me communication skills I wish I
had when I was younger. Okay, so you're seeing a
benefit out of it.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
Sure.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
Another one, Uh.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
I programmed this ahead.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
I programmed my AI bought to assume Taylor Swift's identity
so I get advice from her.

Speaker 3 (05:27):
What I almost Yeah, wait a minute, Yeah, I'm gonna
set mind to Mick Jagger. Can see what advice Mick
has for me in my marriage.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
Harvey Weinstein, No Icky, and a number of people saying, yeah,
chat GPT is my therapist. Now I come home every
day and tell the chat GPT you know, everything that
happened at work, like with a coworker, with my husband
or my kids or whatever, and they listen really good
and gives me some good suggestions. On one end, I

(06:04):
think this gets a little bit to what I'm always
saying that I think therapy is mostly bogus. I'm not
one hundred percent against it. I got a guy I
talk to every week, so but ninety percent of it
is crap. It's either just like the most obvious thing
any human being would tell you if you ask them,
or it's just co signing your bullshit, as they say
in the therapy world of you come in and complain

(06:26):
and the therapist says, you're right, your sister is a witch?
You know, see you next week.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
Yeah, yeah, no kidding for the sake of the argument, though.
I mean, like, Judy and I have been married for
a very long time. We're gonna have our fortieth anniversary
next year. We were married when we were both eleven.
We had to get our grandparents' permission and get married,
or we were going to get our parents but they
were only seventeen. So anyway, that's how I've been married
for forty years, because I'm very young and vital. But anyway,

(06:57):
I could see saying, hey, what are some tips for
keeping a long term marriage fresh in middle age? In
the boudoir, You.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
Got to bring it up.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
Bigger is why I don't ask. This is why I
don't ask you, and I'm gonna ask. You know, the
chat GPT, and I'm sure good advice about alternate, Like
a friend of mine did this with an actual counselor
and suggested you alternate, you know, every week, every two
weeks you plan date night. Then then it's her turned
up stuff like that. I could see it generating some

(07:32):
good advice like that.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
How does it not very quickly become I mean after
I have the right kind of guy. I don't know
that any guys that would ever do this, but living
in Davis, California, I do know guys that would do it.
She's using chat GPT for a response, then you're using
chat GPT for a response, and they're just talking to
each other. But that gets pretty weird pretty fast.

Speaker 3 (07:59):
I don't no. I think it's in this scenario the
chat GPT wouldn't be like giving you all your words.
It would be helping you understand the guidelines for productive communication.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Here's the one.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
Of course, this is all theoretical for me. I've never
tried it and probably won't, but I'm curious to know
how it actually fleshes out.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
Here's the thing I'm certain of. If you can talk
to your chat GPT and get the feelings some of
these people seem to express that they're getting, you're obviously
less likely to talk to an actual human being, your
friend or your sister, or whoever it is you used

(08:38):
to talk to about these things. I keep presenting it
as a woman like, it's only a woman thing. But
isn't it just absolutely guaranteed to make less human inaction
interaction happen because now you don't have to take your
kind of troubling you wish you didn't have to tell
your friends about it, problems to them.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
You just take it to chat GPT.

Speaker 4 (09:00):
Yeah, and you're not worried about it being repeated or
anything of that nature.

Speaker 5 (09:04):
Ye.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
Might it eliminate the sort of phony over expensive counseling
that you were talking about.

Speaker 1 (09:11):
It's that there's an upside that could happen. Maybe it does.
If I'm a just a medium grade I got a
one year degree therapist out there making good money on
giving people pretty obvious advice or code signing in the bullshit,
you might be out of work because chat GPT could
do that.

Speaker 3 (09:28):
I could see, you know, sites developed that would you
know tout that, Hey, we scanned the best you know,
counseling information available. This is all we do is counseling.
You're not going to get weird you know, internet results
or whatever. Here we've compiled the database of blah blah

(09:48):
blah blah blah. I could see that being you know,
fairly valuable, I think again, depending how it actually works.

Speaker 4 (09:55):
I also like that this cuts down on I don't
know if you've ever been in this situation, Jack, when
you're talking to somebody, but it's like you have that
thirty minute window or that hour window, and like in
the first ten you cover what's been bothering you, and
you're just kind of sitting there like, so, oh, how's
everything else? This kind of cuts all that crap out too, right.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, I don't know. I feel like there's good. I
haven't tried it either, so I suppose i'd have to
to know this, But I feel like chat GPT is
not gonna have any follow up questions where chat GPT,
where the therapist knows you, maybe if they've been working
you with you for a long time, knows you, knows
your tendencies, knows your strengths and weaknesses, and maybe asks
the kind of follow up question that chat GPT couldn't.

(10:36):
So you come in and you tell some story about
your husband being a you know, a jerk, and maybe
your therapist who knows you says, uh, well, you remember
last week when you bought that thing and he was
upset about it. He might still just be upset about that.
Like that's the sort of like in depth follow up.
I don't think you're going to get from an AI bot,

(11:00):
like understand your personality strengths and weaknesses.

Speaker 3 (11:03):
You know, it's interesting. I was is this Google? Yeah?
I think this is Google. I got to change my
default search engine on my iPhone. I was just googling
how can I freshen up a long term marriage? There's
an ad for a counseling place.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
A swing like you put it bolted into the ceiling.

Speaker 3 (11:25):
Yeah, sex dungeon. Clearly, I want to get your wife back.
How to win your wife back? She hasn't left yet.
I just want to freshen it. Oh, there's focus on
the family, but that's sponsored too. It's Christian family counseling.
Give your partner grace, practice self care, connect in the bedroom.
Now we're talking, no, stop it with thatve wait a minute,

(11:51):
and this one she's already dating someone new. No, let's
beyond repair. Date night should be exciting and different rather
than the standard dinner in a movie. Oh thank you,
We never go to movie. Oh that's Cora. That's dumb.
So but it didn't even ask AI. Sometimes when you
search something on it, although I was just I just

(12:16):
like searched yesterday, when does Illinois play Kentucky in the
NCAA Men's basketball Tournament. It needed AI for that, but
for how do you freshen up a long term marriage?
It just sent me to kind of wrote results.

Speaker 4 (12:28):
Right, So was that chat GPT specific that they were
talking to Is that what the most early?

Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (12:36):
So I just went on and searched AI therapist, and
I am on a website called abby and it looks
like it's about to put me through. It said, we're
going to ask you some questions to know your algorithm.
And please know I've been trained on over seventy eight
hundred therapy books and research papers. I can I can
reference almost everything that's been written about therapy to help
you with whatever's bothering you.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
You know, from that standpoint, as cynical as I am
about this that's got to be a more knowledgeable entity
than your average therapist you go to.

Speaker 4 (13:08):
Yeah, and it's now it's saying, let's customize your algorithm
to fit your goals in preferred style.

Speaker 3 (13:14):
Hmmm.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
I mean I'll try this like I'll try this with
my around my son, like a bunch of examples of
various things, and then say what should I do in
this situation and see what sort of advice I get? Yeah,
see if I think it's worth a damn or.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
Yeah, I mean in theory as always, instead of the
distilled knowledge of mankind coming to you through a dipshit
who couldn't make a living any other way, the therapist
you've just tired, which is not all therapists. There are
few that are fantastic plenty. And if if that's you,

(13:53):
that's what we're talking about, You're great. Don't bother with
your angry email. But instead of you know, having that
knowledge distilled and passed through that the aforementioned dipshit, you
have it through what is allegedly perhaps a neutral source
that won't filter it through their own life experience because
they secretly hate their father.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
I'm going to play right this thing.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
This is.

Speaker 5 (14:19):
What she said, happy birthday, Happy birthday. That left my mouth.
That's my gift to you, Thank you, that's what she said. Also,
oh boy, so back to this, yeah what they said?

Speaker 4 (14:33):
Yeah, uh, it's asking me, who do you want me
to be a professional therapist, an empathetic friend, a tough coach,
a mindfulness guru, problem solver, are a philosophical guide. So
it's kind of giving you, like asking kind of how
do you want me to flow with how you're talking
to me?

Speaker 3 (14:50):
Oh my gosh, yeah, I'm warming to this.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yeah I am too, unfortunately.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
And I don't know why that would be any different
than therapist shopping. Like I know some people do you
go to somebody that's like a little too much of
a heart ass, and you fire them and go on
to a next person until you find someone that's the
you know, a style you do want.

Speaker 3 (15:09):
Yeah, maybe you what's the name of this again?

Speaker 2 (15:11):
This is called the abby abeef.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
Humankind dot com right, that one.

Speaker 3 (15:18):
I'm sorry AaB What Abby Abby? Oh? It's the abby thing? Yeah, yeah,
but I.

Speaker 4 (15:27):
Mean it's really it's going in depth to find out
how I want them to act and like what kind
of you know, am I looking for clinical help?

Speaker 2 (15:35):
Do I want cognitive behavioral help?

Speaker 3 (15:38):
Wow? Yeah, Wow, I need to look into that for
one of my kids.

Speaker 1 (15:42):
Yeah, I'm intrigued. I am too, so I've been turned around.
I I don't mind this as much because it's I mean,
if you're willing to google and go to a legit
website and read about it and feel like you've done research,
this is just like boiling it down for you. It's
it's doing all the research and bring you the best stuff.
What I don't like is the idea of it giving
me advice on what I should be saying. That just

(16:05):
seems weird.

Speaker 3 (16:06):
Yeah yeah, feeding you lines is definitely crossing Allline a kitty.
Has it asked him for money yet?

Speaker 2 (16:14):
No? Not yet. That's what I'm waiting for. But it
looks like I'm at the end of it. See.

Speaker 4 (16:19):
What I want to know is if there's like a
free version of this where it's like, yeah, I will
kind of help you out, but like you said earlier,
for nine to ninety nine a month or does.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
It hit on you at any point? Remember that thing
from the New York Times a year or so ago
were that was it a woman or a man? But anyway,
that chatbot suggested that they leave their house.

Speaker 4 (16:38):
Yeah, okay, start chatting. No, I was not asked for
a credit card. It's finalizing my personalized AI therapist. And
that looks like that's it.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
How is it making any money? I don't know.

Speaker 4 (16:51):
There's a lot of ads across the whole page, you know,
so maybe that's how they're doing right.

Speaker 3 (16:55):
Yeah, I'm not finding it.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
We'll also in the early days of this sort of stuff,
they just want to get you hooked on their product.
I mean, it's worth it'd be worth it to any
of these AI bots just to have you get in
the habit of using it. It'd be like I'm trying
to think of an example, but like you know, sometimes
when new products, they don't they don't charge very much
to get you started.

Speaker 3 (17:15):
Yeah, yeah, what's the actual site?

Speaker 2 (17:18):
It talk dot abby abby dot gg.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
Got thisg what is that the.

Speaker 3 (17:27):
Like the Georgie and Mafia or something North North Korea?

Speaker 2 (17:31):
For sure, this is basically kem Jong owned man.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
This is gonna put a lot of therapists out of work, guaranteed.
People that log in, people that can't afford therapy, and
that is many many people. Because it's crazy expensive, are
going to lean on this and just.

Speaker 3 (17:49):
Yeah, yeah, text me the link. I'm old, Katie, it'll
take you all day trying to explain it to me. Okay,
I'll so, here's a call back. Joe mentioned earlier he
would text me. He texted me, Hey, Jack, we should
talk privately after work today. I'm really worried about something.
And I was given the suggestion of sure let's talk
or sure I'm here, both of them perfectly fine responses.

(18:10):
I'm about keep it to yourself, you whiner.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
Who dis.

Speaker 3 (18:15):
I lose my number?

Speaker 1 (18:19):
Yeah, and see, I'm uncomfortable with that. I don't so far.
I'm gonna craft my own words, but I'm sure at
some point when i'm busy, I'm going to see a
response in that that's basically what I was gonna say,
and I'm gonna fire it off, and then I've crossed
my line. Happy birthday, Katie.

Speaker 2 (18:34):
You know, as the youngest person on the staff, watching
you grow further into womanhood these past two years, that's
been real.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
Joy. Did tell you to say that we lead it
woven hood? I guess that's it.