July 21, 2026 • 10 mins
First, Jack & Joe rate a new jingle. Plus, some fine examples of humor, provide to us by the Babylon Bee!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
We need a socialism jingle. We talk about it so much,
we're gonna need your help choosing one. It's one more thing.
I'm strong and getty, one more thing. So, Michael, are
we going to just listen to one and give it
a thumbs up or thumbs down? Or do we have
different ones to choose from?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Just one? Here?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Okay, got avoided your.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Knighte and no hope for the future?
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Are you tired of being all? Find out the solution.
It's called socialism. It's got hugs, lots of hugs.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Let's coffee and conversation with radomstrations who want to be
a fan socialism?
Speaker 3 (00:54):
This time it's really.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Gone work socialism.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
So did you type in write me a song about
socialism that sounds like the theme song to a nineteen
seventy eight TV show. Yes, because that's what it sounded like.
This is gonna be the worst sitcom I've ever seen,
but a couple of friends who hang out together because
they believe in socialism.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
As a songwriter, I found the lyrics a little rambling,
but that was funny.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
It was funny. We'll have to use that tomorrow. I'm
the radio show. Yes, Laziest One More Thing podcast. Ever,
I just went through the recent several days of the
Babylon being picked out a bunch of their jokes, which
are pretty dang funny.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Smeone.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Be's good. Their writers are good. They're they're I think
they're hit and missus better than the people who write
for uh, you know, Jimmy Kimmel. I don't know what
kind of money they're making compared to Jimmy Kimmel's writers.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
But how about Jimmy fallon the funnier Jimmy.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Here's from the Babylon Bee. I hope you don't need
the picture for this woman with micro bangs wondering how
everyone knows she hates her father basically any woman with
an extreme haircut.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yeah, I saw that.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
How do you know you I hate my father? Like
woman kicked out of Walmart for not wearing pajama bottoms.
Freaking Walmart man.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
See, I almost never am in the walley and my
wife shops there a lot, like for groceries because it's
you know, good.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Pricess and they got everything.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I find the whole parking lot walking to the store,
the crowds, that's it's stressful to me. I'll pay an
extra few bucks not to do that.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
If you're in a super Walmart, you need to know
the layout because it's so giant. If you park at
the wrong end of the parking lot, you know, I
hope you have your walking shoes on. Yeah, it's going
to a town, Yeah it is. You're a long way
away from the stuff you might be wanting.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Hey, you know, I'm picturing some of the Like I
lived in Verden, Illinois for a couple of years, very
small town in central Illinois. Now Saline is a pretty
big town. I'm thinking of some of the smaller towns
I've lived in. Passed through a super Walmart in terms
of square footage, how does that compare with like the
town square where most of the businesses are in a
(03:15):
little American bigger more Yeah? Yeah, back to the Babylon Bee,
absolute psychopath. It's microwave counting down all the way to zero?
Is that a common thing?
Speaker 1 (03:26):
I do that because I hate the beeping. I hate
beeping out of electronics. Who decided we needed that? Why
can't you turn it off all the time? I don't eed,
bit bit, bit bit bit? Why so many beeps to
let me know you got to zero on my freaking
pop tart. God, dang it.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Wow number one. Put it in a toaster.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Oh it pierces my brain.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Oh interesting.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Ah.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
My wife used to make fun of me speaking of
a microwaves because I would regularly heat some something for
seventeen seconds or twenty three or whatever, because I would.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Say, Hey, here's the question. Is it always an odd number? No,
because I'm always an even number on my what I
set my microwave for. I can't even imagine setting it
for an odd number.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I have confessed in the past that I used to
only change my air conditioning in my car by even numbers.
If I was at seventy two and it was, you know,
it was chillier than I needed, I'd move it up
to seventy four. I would never do odd numbers. And
because OCD runs in my family a lot of family,
(04:31):
I convince myself, Nope, you've got to fight it. I'm
talking to myself now, You've got to fight that sort
of impulse. You've got to regularly do the opposite of it,
realize everything's great, and move on with your day.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
You think that's helpful.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
It feels like it is.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
I don't know, it does seem because I have one
kid who's got OCD to a pretty high degree, and
it can kind of take over your life. So maybe
fighting it at the lower level is better so it
doesn't grow.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Yeah. I don't want to out anybody, but I have
been very, very surprised to learn fairly recently how prevalent
it is in my family.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
H Yeah, it comes in different sizes, like I have
a little bit of it, but nothing that has any
effect on my life. But I can't imagine choosing an
odd number on the microwave.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I think I was in my middle ages. Yeah, that's funny.
That's funny. I was in my middle ages before I
realized how much depression there was in my mom's family.
I mean, like back in the day when treatments were
not very good, people hospitalized and shock treatments and stuff
like that, just a lot of it.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
My mom's adopted, so yet half do half the knowledge
of that sort of thing. I don't know at all.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
She ever pursued the uh birth family thing just for
medical purposes.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
I don't think so. Babel unbee Man introduces himself to
next door neighbors who just recently moved in nine years ago.
My neighbors all came and introduced themselves to me, and
I'm glad they're that kind of people because I like
knowing them and I talked to them on a regular basis.
I don't know if I would have done that if
they hadn't been the kind of people they are.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
We had neighbors move in, and like that day there
was a dog running around the neighborhood and I texted,
I got the number. I texted, I said, hey, there's
dog running around. Do you happen to have a black
lab or whatever it was? And they said no, no
we don't, but thanks. I said, yeah, no worries, looking
forward to getting to know you. Welcome to the neighborhood.
Never exchanged a word since.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
And now it's at the awkward right stage.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
So you've been here for a year and a quarter.
Thought i'd say, loof.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Boomers prepare for church by setting cell phone to maximum volume.
When your phone goes off at a meeting, why is
it set to so loud? And how do you not
know the button to press to make it stop? How
do you not know that a third that fourth ring,
(07:02):
and God help us, that fifth ring. And I always
say this because this is what drives me crazy. People
always check and see who it's from before they turn
it off. The most important that you've interrupted this entire
whatever we're at, still got to check and see who
it is because it might be important. How often is
it important? Really, it's not important. Wife begins pre bedtime
(07:24):
ritual of chilling feet in freezer. I liked this one.
Battlon b is a religious organization. That's why you get
a lot of stuff about religion and God and stuff
like that. The Bible or or church. God will never
give you more than you can handle in life, says
man unfamiliar with God, Comma life. Oh that's perfect, it
(07:48):
really is.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Oh beautiful.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
I got a lot of these, friend, as sure as you.
TV show gets really good if you can just push
through nine bad seasons dealing with a book like this
right now. One of the most famous books in the
last thirty years, Infinite Infinite, just by David Foster Walls.
It's a nine, it's almost a thousand pages, one all
kinds of prizes. It's legendary that it's a cult favorite.
(08:13):
Oh my god, he was a hero until he killed himself.
It sucks so hard, and I'm about halfway through it.
It's my least favorite book I've ever read in my wife.
But everybody says you gotta get at least halfway through
before it all comes together and makes sense. So I'm
gonna get to halfway.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Oh god, it sucks, you know, obviously that's the point
of the joke. But I have had people say, now,
the third season really takes off, but you ought to
work watch the first two in the first three episodes
of the because it's really the fourth episode of the
third season that really takes off.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
This is a good one for this time of year.
Collapsible carnival ride operated by toothless meth addict. Probably fine.
Newly transitioned woman proudly runs over first curb. Wow, doctor
reassures nervous patient this procedure will make him truckload of money. Yeah,
(09:12):
plane crashes after no one tells the passengers to fly safe.
I'm trying to decide which one because you want to
end on a good joke.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Right, very important show business?
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Uh, civil engineer really starting to regret building city on
rock and roll.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Oh didn't see that coming.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
I know what I'm gonna end on. These are both too,
These last two are both good. Texas approves death penalty
for anyone who starts an email with Happy Monday Team.
Oh man, if you start your email with that to
start the week, you and I probably aren't going to
hang out a lot. And I like this one man
(09:53):
who ate at Taco Bell getting more Baja Blast than
he bargained for.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Oh that is so good. Well done, Babylon be You
guys are great. Poor Taco Bell, they're taking a beating
right now.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Well, I guess that's it. That's a little more Baja
Blest than I needed.
We need a socialism jingle. We talk about it so much,
we're gonna need your help choosing one. It's one more thing.
I'm strong and getty, one more thing. So, Michael, are
we going to just listen to one and give it
a thumbs up or thumbs down? Or do we have
different ones to choose from?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Just one? Here?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Okay, got avoided your.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Knighte and no hope for the future?
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Are you tired of being all? Find out the solution.
It's called socialism. It's got hugs, lots of hugs.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Let's coffee and conversation with radomstrations who want to be
a fan socialism?
Speaker 3 (00:54):
This time it's really.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Gone work socialism.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
So did you type in write me a song about
socialism that sounds like the theme song to a nineteen
seventy eight TV show. Yes, because that's what it sounded like.
This is gonna be the worst sitcom I've ever seen,
but a couple of friends who hang out together because
they believe in socialism.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
As a songwriter, I found the lyrics a little rambling,
but that was funny.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
It was funny. We'll have to use that tomorrow. I'm
the radio show. Yes, Laziest One More Thing podcast. Ever,
I just went through the recent several days of the
Babylon being picked out a bunch of their jokes, which
are pretty dang funny.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Smeone.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Be's good. Their writers are good. They're they're I think
they're hit and missus better than the people who write
for uh, you know, Jimmy Kimmel. I don't know what
kind of money they're making compared to Jimmy Kimmel's writers.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
But how about Jimmy fallon the funnier Jimmy.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Here's from the Babylon Bee. I hope you don't need
the picture for this woman with micro bangs wondering how
everyone knows she hates her father basically any woman with
an extreme haircut.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yeah, I saw that.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
How do you know you I hate my father? Like
woman kicked out of Walmart for not wearing pajama bottoms.
Freaking Walmart man.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
See, I almost never am in the walley and my
wife shops there a lot, like for groceries because it's
you know, good.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Pricess and they got everything.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I find the whole parking lot walking to the store,
the crowds, that's it's stressful to me. I'll pay an
extra few bucks not to do that.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
If you're in a super Walmart, you need to know
the layout because it's so giant. If you park at
the wrong end of the parking lot, you know, I
hope you have your walking shoes on. Yeah, it's going
to a town, Yeah it is. You're a long way
away from the stuff you might be wanting.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Hey, you know, I'm picturing some of the Like I
lived in Verden, Illinois for a couple of years, very
small town in central Illinois. Now Saline is a pretty
big town. I'm thinking of some of the smaller towns
I've lived in. Passed through a super Walmart in terms
of square footage, how does that compare with like the
town square where most of the businesses are in a
(03:15):
little American bigger more Yeah? Yeah, back to the Babylon Bee,
absolute psychopath. It's microwave counting down all the way to zero?
Is that a common thing?
Speaker 1 (03:26):
I do that because I hate the beeping. I hate
beeping out of electronics. Who decided we needed that? Why
can't you turn it off all the time? I don't eed,
bit bit, bit bit bit? Why so many beeps to
let me know you got to zero on my freaking
pop tart. God, dang it.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Wow number one. Put it in a toaster.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Oh it pierces my brain.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Oh interesting.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Ah.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
My wife used to make fun of me speaking of
a microwaves because I would regularly heat some something for
seventeen seconds or twenty three or whatever, because I would.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Say, Hey, here's the question. Is it always an odd number? No,
because I'm always an even number on my what I
set my microwave for. I can't even imagine setting it
for an odd number.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I have confessed in the past that I used to
only change my air conditioning in my car by even numbers.
If I was at seventy two and it was, you know,
it was chillier than I needed, I'd move it up
to seventy four. I would never do odd numbers. And
because OCD runs in my family a lot of family,
(04:31):
I convince myself, Nope, you've got to fight it. I'm
talking to myself now, You've got to fight that sort
of impulse. You've got to regularly do the opposite of it,
realize everything's great, and move on with your day.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
You think that's helpful.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
It feels like it is.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
I don't know, it does seem because I have one
kid who's got OCD to a pretty high degree, and
it can kind of take over your life. So maybe
fighting it at the lower level is better so it
doesn't grow.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Yeah. I don't want to out anybody, but I have
been very, very surprised to learn fairly recently how prevalent
it is in my family.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
H Yeah, it comes in different sizes, like I have
a little bit of it, but nothing that has any
effect on my life. But I can't imagine choosing an
odd number on the microwave.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I think I was in my middle ages. Yeah, that's funny.
That's funny. I was in my middle ages before I
realized how much depression there was in my mom's family.
I mean, like back in the day when treatments were
not very good, people hospitalized and shock treatments and stuff
like that, just a lot of it.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
My mom's adopted, so yet half do half the knowledge
of that sort of thing. I don't know at all.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
She ever pursued the uh birth family thing just for
medical purposes.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
I don't think so. Babel unbee Man introduces himself to
next door neighbors who just recently moved in nine years ago.
My neighbors all came and introduced themselves to me, and
I'm glad they're that kind of people because I like
knowing them and I talked to them on a regular basis.
I don't know if I would have done that if
they hadn't been the kind of people they are.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
We had neighbors move in, and like that day there
was a dog running around the neighborhood and I texted,
I got the number. I texted, I said, hey, there's
dog running around. Do you happen to have a black
lab or whatever it was? And they said no, no
we don't, but thanks. I said, yeah, no worries, looking
forward to getting to know you. Welcome to the neighborhood.
Never exchanged a word since.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
And now it's at the awkward right stage.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
So you've been here for a year and a quarter.
Thought i'd say, loof.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Boomers prepare for church by setting cell phone to maximum volume.
When your phone goes off at a meeting, why is
it set to so loud? And how do you not
know the button to press to make it stop? How
do you not know that a third that fourth ring,
(07:02):
and God help us, that fifth ring. And I always
say this because this is what drives me crazy. People
always check and see who it's from before they turn
it off. The most important that you've interrupted this entire
whatever we're at, still got to check and see who
it is because it might be important. How often is
it important? Really, it's not important. Wife begins pre bedtime
(07:24):
ritual of chilling feet in freezer. I liked this one.
Battlon b is a religious organization. That's why you get
a lot of stuff about religion and God and stuff
like that. The Bible or or church. God will never
give you more than you can handle in life, says
man unfamiliar with God, Comma life. Oh that's perfect, it
(07:48):
really is.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Oh beautiful.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
I got a lot of these, friend, as sure as you.
TV show gets really good if you can just push
through nine bad seasons dealing with a book like this
right now. One of the most famous books in the
last thirty years, Infinite Infinite, just by David Foster Walls.
It's a nine, it's almost a thousand pages, one all
kinds of prizes. It's legendary that it's a cult favorite.
(08:13):
Oh my god, he was a hero until he killed himself.
It sucks so hard, and I'm about halfway through it.
It's my least favorite book I've ever read in my wife.
But everybody says you gotta get at least halfway through
before it all comes together and makes sense. So I'm
gonna get to halfway.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Oh god, it sucks, you know, obviously that's the point
of the joke. But I have had people say, now,
the third season really takes off, but you ought to
work watch the first two in the first three episodes
of the because it's really the fourth episode of the
third season that really takes off.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
This is a good one for this time of year.
Collapsible carnival ride operated by toothless meth addict. Probably fine.
Newly transitioned woman proudly runs over first curb. Wow, doctor
reassures nervous patient this procedure will make him truckload of money. Yeah,
(09:12):
plane crashes after no one tells the passengers to fly safe.
I'm trying to decide which one because you want to
end on a good joke.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Right, very important show business?
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Uh, civil engineer really starting to regret building city on
rock and roll.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Oh didn't see that coming.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
I know what I'm gonna end on. These are both too,
These last two are both good. Texas approves death penalty
for anyone who starts an email with Happy Monday Team.
Oh man, if you start your email with that to
start the week, you and I probably aren't going to
hang out a lot. And I like this one man
(09:53):
who ate at Taco Bell getting more Baja Blast than
he bargained for.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Oh that is so good. Well done, Babylon be You
guys are great. Poor Taco Bell, they're taking a beating
right now.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Well, I guess that's it. That's a little more Baja
Blest than I needed.
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Joe Getty
Jack Armstrong
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