July 10, 2024 • 8 mins
Jack does a deep dive into his neighborhood NextDoor site...
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Somebody threw a football into my backyard? Do you know
who it belongs to? It's one more thing.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm one more thing.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I've been familiar with next door for a long time,
but I'd never had the notifications on where I would
get where I would get the regular everything everybody posts?
Good God, is that a smorgus board of unimportant things?
It is?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Question?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
It is the forum the first world problems?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Is well, it's it's a combination of like first world
problems that you really don't need to mention out loud
to anyone, and uh, and like big problems.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
That there are much better venues for finding the answer,
like my you know, my dad has got this disease.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
My dad's got Parkinson. He happened to be president. Does
anybody recommend a good doctor? You're going on next door
for that, as that your best place to try to
figure out these things?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Just seems odd to me. Yeah, I guess nobody ever responds,
So I don't know why everybody's fishing in this pond.
I could see asking for a recommendation of like a
service provider or something like that. I wouldn't ask what
medicine do you think he ought to take or anything
like that.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Or you know a football is in my backyards, they
may know it belonged to That was one this morning.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Oh boy, I saw one the other day that somebody
took a picture off of a ring camera of a
kid that doorbell ditched them, and they posted the video
on next door going.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Who is kid? Is this right? Right?
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Lots of those, lots of those, lots of did anybody
just hear that noise that happens like ten times a day?
Speaker 3 (01:42):
And then various responses.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
I did too. I thought it sounded like a gun.
It didn't sound like a gun. It sounded like more okay, whatever.
But here's my favorite one from today that got me
on this very topic. Here's another one. Somebody asking about shingles.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Find a medical professional or glitter or web md or
something not next door. She's talking about roof depilating a
nerve pain or exactly I'm talking about the disease. Here's
my favorite one.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Does anybody know what I should do with this crow?
It has a hurt wing. It landed between our houses.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
I'm trying.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I'm trying to I'm trying to nurse it back to health.
It keeps hopping around, and I don't know what to
do with it. You got to put the whip to it.
It's not trying hard enough. What should I do with it?
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Call it a sissy and tell it to try harder.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Right, exactly, tell it. The Good Lord helps crows that
help themselves. Like, is it like the new Google for
your neighbors?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I don't understand why people are utilizing that, all.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Right, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
You don't have Google or any of the other search
engines for figuring stuff out, or even TikTok or whatever
you do. You go to the next door with the
other eighty year old. Nothing else to do is to
answer your question. Yeah, yeah, it's just I just shocked
by it. And I've always wondered this about when I
(03:09):
didn't live in a neighborhood for like twenty years.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
But now I'm in a neighborhood. Every neighborhood I've ever
lived in, pretty much, there are quite a few houses
where you know who lives there, even if you don't
know know them, you see them on a regular basis,
getting in their car, kid, coming home on a bike, whatever.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
But there's always several houses where you just never see anybody.
Yeah ever, ever, you never see anybody ever. Somebody lives there.
Lights get turned on at night, off in the morning,
and that must be the crowd that's on next door
asking about crows or medical questions or whatever. It must
be that crowd. You gotta go on next door and say, hey,
has anybody ever seen anybody come out of the blue house?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Just start asking really weird questions on there, Jack, that'd
be perfect.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Hey, speaking of asking advice, I thought this was so
interesting and it makes sense in my head. See if
it does to you. It's new research out about getting advice,
asking for advice, that sort of thing, and this, Elizabeth
Bernstein writes, we tend to believe the best person for
support during a tough time will always be someone who's
been there before. Turns out that's wrong. New research shows
(04:18):
we may get better help from people who've been through
a significant challenge that's different from our own. Because social
scientists say this is because those who have been through
an unrelated challenge can empathize with our emotional pain, but
they won't assume they know what our experience is like
or bring their own emotional baggage to the conversation.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Oh Hunt great, That is interesting. I think that one over.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Meanwhile, somebody who's quote unquote been there before sometimes talks
more than they listen. They may also give advice solely
based on their experience and forget that ours is going
to be different, and because they got already got over
the problem, they think we should too, and tend to
minimize how painf situation is.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
My main advice with big things that I've been through
is usually having been through this, don't listen to anybody's advice.
So that's about my only advice on a number of
big things.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Wow wow interesting. A cynical man or an experienced man.
Sometimes you don't know. Sometimes someone you don't know well
may have different life experiences that you can draw upon.
You never know what people know until you ask.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Well, like, that's the advice I give them my cancer experience,
because I've had a number of people ask me who
get cancer, and I say, don't take anybody's advice because
everybody's situation is so incredibly different. I heard so many
things that turned out not to be true. I'd've been
better off if I never asked. Everybody's situation is miles
apart and changes on a daily basis, so don't worry
(05:55):
about it. And child rearing while not the same as that,
because there are some truths tochild wearing, definitely, but man,
there's a lot of I don't know, what are you
telling me this for when it comes to child wearing.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Also, yeah, a lot of people are trying to express
their own how do I put this, work out their
own issues or exhibit their own egos or something.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Because kids are so different, and then the parents interaction
with the kid is so different. It's just, yeah, it's
hard to normalize a lot of it.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Yeah, maybe the worst advice giver is somebody who's raised
a kid, because getting back to the beginning of this article,
they're completely convinced that their experience is universal. I'm not
talking about all of you that have had one child.
Obviously some of you have wisdom, but yeah, you'd exactly
be what she was describing. Yep, I because I've got
(06:46):
that situation. It ends up fine.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
If I just if I'd only had one of them,
I would think I was the world's greatest parent and
be willing to lay out all kinds of advice and
maybe write a book if I don't la ad the
other one.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
I would think I'm a disaster. Yeah, I heard that.
So final note on this, which I found interesting was
the power of weak ties. Conversations with people that you
have weak ties with can be surprisingly helpful. They don't
know us well, they don't know our faults. They're less
likely to judge us or make assumptions about our situation
(07:19):
or something like that.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
I've had many experiences like this.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Are much more likely to be a fellow, like a brainstormer,
than a bestower of alleged wisdom. They're much more likely
to listen and toss out ideas with you than try
to lay the law down.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
This is the guy sitting next to you at the
bar or the bus stop or whatever. Yeah. I've had
this experience many times in my life, and it works
both directions. They don't have any particular agenda. Because they
don't know you and you don't They can say things
that if somebody who did know you said them, you'd
get furiously angry. But because you don't know them at
(08:00):
all and have nothing invested, you can just hear what
they have to say.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Yeah, the power of weak ties thought provoking. Yeah, ask
a stranger, Well, I guess that's it.
Somebody threw a football into my backyard? Do you know
who it belongs to? It's one more thing.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm one more thing.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I've been familiar with next door for a long time,
but I'd never had the notifications on where I would
get where I would get the regular everything everybody posts?
Good God, is that a smorgus board of unimportant things?
It is?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Question?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
It is the forum the first world problems?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Is well, it's it's a combination of like first world
problems that you really don't need to mention out loud
to anyone, and uh, and like big problems.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
That there are much better venues for finding the answer,
like my you know, my dad has got this disease.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
My dad's got Parkinson. He happened to be president. Does
anybody recommend a good doctor? You're going on next door
for that, as that your best place to try to
figure out these things?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Just seems odd to me. Yeah, I guess nobody ever responds,
So I don't know why everybody's fishing in this pond.
I could see asking for a recommendation of like a
service provider or something like that. I wouldn't ask what
medicine do you think he ought to take or anything
like that.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Or you know a football is in my backyards, they
may know it belonged to That was one this morning.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Oh boy, I saw one the other day that somebody
took a picture off of a ring camera of a
kid that doorbell ditched them, and they posted the video
on next door going.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Who is kid? Is this right? Right?
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Lots of those, lots of those, lots of did anybody
just hear that noise that happens like ten times a day?
Speaker 3 (01:42):
And then various responses.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
I did too. I thought it sounded like a gun.
It didn't sound like a gun. It sounded like more okay, whatever.
But here's my favorite one from today that got me
on this very topic. Here's another one. Somebody asking about shingles.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Find a medical professional or glitter or web md or
something not next door. She's talking about roof depilating a
nerve pain or exactly I'm talking about the disease. Here's
my favorite one.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Does anybody know what I should do with this crow?
It has a hurt wing. It landed between our houses.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
I'm trying.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I'm trying to I'm trying to nurse it back to health.
It keeps hopping around, and I don't know what to
do with it. You got to put the whip to it.
It's not trying hard enough. What should I do with it?
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Call it a sissy and tell it to try harder.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Right, exactly, tell it. The Good Lord helps crows that
help themselves. Like, is it like the new Google for
your neighbors?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I don't understand why people are utilizing that, all.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Right, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
You don't have Google or any of the other search
engines for figuring stuff out, or even TikTok or whatever
you do. You go to the next door with the
other eighty year old. Nothing else to do is to
answer your question. Yeah, yeah, it's just I just shocked
by it. And I've always wondered this about when I
(03:09):
didn't live in a neighborhood for like twenty years.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
But now I'm in a neighborhood. Every neighborhood I've ever
lived in, pretty much, there are quite a few houses
where you know who lives there, even if you don't
know know them, you see them on a regular basis,
getting in their car, kid, coming home on a bike, whatever.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
But there's always several houses where you just never see anybody.
Yeah ever, ever, you never see anybody ever. Somebody lives there.
Lights get turned on at night, off in the morning,
and that must be the crowd that's on next door
asking about crows or medical questions or whatever. It must
be that crowd. You gotta go on next door and say, hey,
has anybody ever seen anybody come out of the blue house?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Just start asking really weird questions on there, Jack, that'd
be perfect.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Hey, speaking of asking advice, I thought this was so
interesting and it makes sense in my head. See if
it does to you. It's new research out about getting advice,
asking for advice, that sort of thing, and this, Elizabeth
Bernstein writes, we tend to believe the best person for
support during a tough time will always be someone who's
been there before. Turns out that's wrong. New research shows
(04:18):
we may get better help from people who've been through
a significant challenge that's different from our own. Because social
scientists say this is because those who have been through
an unrelated challenge can empathize with our emotional pain, but
they won't assume they know what our experience is like
or bring their own emotional baggage to the conversation.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Oh Hunt great, That is interesting. I think that one over.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Meanwhile, somebody who's quote unquote been there before sometimes talks
more than they listen. They may also give advice solely
based on their experience and forget that ours is going
to be different, and because they got already got over
the problem, they think we should too, and tend to
minimize how painf situation is.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
My main advice with big things that I've been through
is usually having been through this, don't listen to anybody's advice.
So that's about my only advice on a number of
big things.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Wow wow interesting. A cynical man or an experienced man.
Sometimes you don't know. Sometimes someone you don't know well
may have different life experiences that you can draw upon.
You never know what people know until you ask.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Well, like, that's the advice I give them my cancer experience,
because I've had a number of people ask me who
get cancer, and I say, don't take anybody's advice because
everybody's situation is so incredibly different. I heard so many
things that turned out not to be true. I'd've been
better off if I never asked. Everybody's situation is miles
apart and changes on a daily basis, so don't worry
(05:55):
about it. And child rearing while not the same as that,
because there are some truths tochild wearing, definitely, but man,
there's a lot of I don't know, what are you
telling me this for when it comes to child wearing.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Also, yeah, a lot of people are trying to express
their own how do I put this, work out their
own issues or exhibit their own egos or something.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Because kids are so different, and then the parents interaction
with the kid is so different. It's just, yeah, it's
hard to normalize a lot of it.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Yeah, maybe the worst advice giver is somebody who's raised
a kid, because getting back to the beginning of this article,
they're completely convinced that their experience is universal. I'm not
talking about all of you that have had one child.
Obviously some of you have wisdom, but yeah, you'd exactly
be what she was describing. Yep, I because I've got
(06:46):
that situation. It ends up fine.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
If I just if I'd only had one of them,
I would think I was the world's greatest parent and
be willing to lay out all kinds of advice and
maybe write a book if I don't la ad the
other one.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
I would think I'm a disaster. Yeah, I heard that.
So final note on this, which I found interesting was
the power of weak ties. Conversations with people that you
have weak ties with can be surprisingly helpful. They don't
know us well, they don't know our faults. They're less
likely to judge us or make assumptions about our situation
(07:19):
or something like that.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
I've had many experiences like this.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Are much more likely to be a fellow, like a brainstormer,
than a bestower of alleged wisdom. They're much more likely
to listen and toss out ideas with you than try
to lay the law down.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
This is the guy sitting next to you at the
bar or the bus stop or whatever. Yeah. I've had
this experience many times in my life, and it works
both directions. They don't have any particular agenda. Because they
don't know you and you don't They can say things
that if somebody who did know you said them, you'd
get furiously angry. But because you don't know them at
(08:00):
all and have nothing invested, you can just hear what
they have to say.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Yeah, the power of weak ties thought provoking. Yeah, ask
a stranger, Well, I guess that's it.
Hosts And Creators
Joe Getty
Jack Armstrong
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