The Most Explicit and The Most Fouth-Mouthed Episode We've Ever Done

Jack holds nothing back while expressing his true feelings for one of life's most frustrating activities! 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Can I get myself back in that headspace? Do I
want to get back in that headspace? It's one more thing.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
I'm stay right off the bat.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
If you're offended by bad language, this is not the
podcast for you. Or if you just have a vision
of us as not being the kind of guys that
cuss one you were wrong to h then you know
you're not gonna like this either. And again, I don't
know if I can get into the proper headspace. I
should have just taped myself yesterday. Mmm. Nobody on Earth

(00:41):
hates fucking paperwork more than I do. M. I'm bad
at it. I think I've got an executive function problem.
I don't know. I don't know what it is, but
I'm just bad at it. If I got a stack
of motherfucking bills to pay and they're all a different
goddamn website, oh boy, and they all have a password,

(01:02):
and half of those bitches don't work anyway. The websites
don't fucking work. You see.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
That's the thing. You got a company, and you make
me pay the bill at the website, and I do
it nine times on a fucking grow and it still
says can't process it at this time. Fuck you, fuck
you and fuck you God. I hate you people.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
Oh you gotta hire somebody I know can explode one day.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
I actually said at one point yesterday I was screaming,
I would.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
Pay somebody right fucking now, one thousand dollars to do
this DoD damn job right now. Give you a thousand
fucking dollars. I can't drink it any longer.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
It makes me so mad. It just makes me so mad.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
And then you try to call and it takes you
a half hour to get through, to tell them your
fucking website. They're fucking York there, fucking piece of shit.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
Well in their voice, prompt thing doesn't work. It was
as well as the website trying to drive your insanity
to do levels right.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Oh my god, what are you having trouble with trying
to pay my bill? Did you say accounts? No?

Speaker 2 (02:15):
I didn't fucking say it accounts, you fucking death piece
of shit.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
God God, Judy and I did one of those the
other day and I said, I wish Jack was here
because it was it was like your parody of how
incompetent they are. It was inexplicable. It was insane, and
what I need help with is I get.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
I'm I get everybody as mad as you just heard
in my home or in my car. I'm screaming like
this in my car.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
Oh boy, I get.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
So and I just I can't do it. And I
just I just like I would.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
I would pay so much money to have somebody else
do this. But a lot of it and I have
in the past. Man, one summer we had a the Sinner.
We had. People called it an all pair, but it
was just she couldn't find an apartment, so she lived
with me and kind of exchanged that for anyway. She
lived here and she took care of the kids when
they were they were younger, and got them to school
stuff like that. But she was so good at this.

(03:15):
She was just like she was just one of those
people that she loved it. She just enjoyed going through
the stack of stuff and paying it. But you gotta
have somebody, I mean, to really be able to do it.
I gotta have all your passwords and and uh just
they got to know everything of your money. They're gonna
have you security number and your bank account and you're
all this. Otherwise, you spend as much time helping them

(03:36):
through it as if you just did it yourself on
a lot of this stuff, and oh my god, I'm
so mad at the California DMV site. They got a
new way of doing it now and there's like five
a fist steps and it just wouldn't work. It just
wouldn't work. I did it over and over. Can't process
at this time.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
What the fuck am I supposed to do? This is
the only way you let me pay for it, and
this is supposed to be easier than the old fashioned way.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
Now you gotta come back day after day to see
if the website's working yet. Simple as that. Just carve
out a little time. You got plenty of free time, right, yeah, yep, yep.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
Okay, So that's it. That's all I wanted to do
for this podcast was just give you a glimpse into
how crazy I am, because that's actually one hundred percent
accurate of what I do in my kitchen, not when
my kids are here or in my car, when I'm
trying to do stuff like this.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
If you can reach through the internet and punch a
computer in the face, you would do.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
It, oh absolutely. And as I've said before, you give
me a like a hard physical job. You gotta move
that stack of bricks gonna take you all day. Fine,
I'll get started. It's gonna be hard, but i'll do it.
Give me a stack of that paperwork in my mind
just explodes.

Speaker 3 (04:43):
Oh I hate it so much.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
I know.

Speaker 4 (04:46):
Anyway, if you enjoyed this podcast, find the movie Planes,
Trains and Automobiles and there's a scene where Steve Martin
goes to rent a car and it's not there, and
it's very similar to this podcast. So I gotta clean
out my ears. So I guess that's it.