FULL SHOW POD: The Woody Show March 12th 2025 Podcast

Greg Fitzsimmons in studio, News Headlines, What's the pettiest thing you've done? & More! 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Dune to the graphic nature of this program, listener discretion, Is.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
It lies the Woody Show?

Speaker 3 (00:23):
This is the Woody Show.

Speaker 4 (00:26):
Insensitivity Training.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
Class is now in session.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
A good morning, everybody. It is Wednesday. It's March the twelfth,
twenty twenty five. Hello, welcome, it's a brand new day
here at the Woody Show.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Midweek.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
My name's Whatdy. That's Greg Gordon. How was your birthday yesterday?
It was so yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
Steaks. Yeah, it's just a.

Speaker 5 (01:05):
Random Tuesday night given.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
Okay, Okay, I love that. All right? Did you order
in as you go out? Ordered it? Ah?

Speaker 6 (01:14):
Yeah, he got.

Speaker 5 (01:15):
A birthday present. They did release the trailer for Hacks
season four. Oh they wait till I was on.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
Cloud nine from that. All right, So that's all I needed.
I'm glad you tell you more about it later. I
have a couple of confessions.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
Okay, nice menace, good morning, good morning.

Speaker 6 (01:32):
Hey, SeaBASS is here.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
We got Sammy bort is here, we got our assistant
producer Morgan, and we got our video producer Vaughn. You
on the phones eight seven seven forty four, Woodie, you
can send us a text over to two to nine
eight seven coming up. I guess Grey's got a couple
of confessions for okay, and then also we got an
instudio guest. Today, we're gonna be joined by comedian Greg Fitzsimmons.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
Rules fitz Dog love fitz Dog.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yeah, Greg Fitzsimmons. He's just a fun he's a fun conversation.
Oh and uh yeah, so we're gonna have him in.
He's got a Saint Patrick's Day show that he's doing. Also,
he's got a new special that uh that you can watch.
We're gonna talk to him treading news headlines and a
bunch more this morning here on the wood he show
some entertainment stuff and men, it's gonna have that birthday's

(02:17):
porno birthday.

Speaker 6 (02:18):
Here real quick. I wanted to bring you this list.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
You know, we love food and we love Costco Yes
medicine in particular, likes to food at the Costco Food Court.

Speaker 7 (02:26):
I do.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
But I tell you this you've been saying, converted to Sam.

Speaker 5 (02:32):
Better.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
All right.

Speaker 6 (02:33):
Well, let's see.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
There's not a lot on the on the menu there.
But this is a ranking of every item on the
Costco Food Court menu. And let's see if you u
Let's see if you agree. Number ten they have the
rotisserie chicken caesar salad boring. Never got who's ever ordered that? Yeah,
it's like you got to put a ton of dressing
on that. Yeah, hella dry. Yeah yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
Do they have negative ten? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Well out of ten items, it's number number nine. Doesn't
the turkey Swiss sandwich. That's the healthiest option, and they
don't skimp on the turkey.

Speaker 8 (03:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
I never ordered that either, I mean either Number eight
they got the ice cream cup. You know, now, if
you want to pay the extra fifty cent, you can
get the Sunday treatment on the number seven, the cold
Macha brew freeze or the Mocha brew freeze. I'm sorry,
maca cold Mocha brew freeze.

Speaker 3 (03:28):
So I've seen it, but I don't order it.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
Yeah, it's more like a milkshake. I guess afraid something
you would love. I would, but I'm afraid it will
give me a brain freeze.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
Number six the fruit smoothie. I like that joint.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
I haven't tried that. There the ice cream Sunday at
number five. Like I said, you can go for the
cup or the fifty cents. You go to the number Look,
you go from eight to five, Okay, Number four is
the pizza Oh no, means the world's greatest pizza. But
it's not skimpy. It's got taste that's more than you know,
passable when you need that. It scratched your you know,
into or out of costco It'll do. Number three and men,

(04:04):
it's been saying this, the double chocolate chunk.

Speaker 5 (04:08):
Cookie, Oh yeah, which are released, which are new twenty two?

Speaker 2 (04:14):
I thought those were new. They just brought those. They
brought those into replace Yeah, the Cheiro cheerio. Yeah, they
got rid of the churi and they brought in these
fire Man. Now here's the thing. Now, this is the
one thing they put on the list, Greg. The only
downside is that each one packs seven and fifty calories.
That deal right, number the cues. Number two is the

(04:37):
chicken bake. Yes, so chicken bake, three kinds of cheese
baked into the dough crust, the chicken, and the bacon.
There are plenty of people who were arguing this should
be at the top of the list, but when they
took the survey, this came out at number two and
then number one, just because the deal cannot be beaten.
You can't find a better combo at the price for
a dollar fifty, the hot dog and soda combo. G Lizzie,

(05:00):
I didn't think we're still calling it that.

Speaker 9 (05:02):
Yeah, but I guess at Costco, I feel like you
have to.

Speaker 5 (05:04):
Well, if you at the time, at the point where
you're like middle aged mom is calling it, Glizzie, you
know the words, the word's over.

Speaker 9 (05:09):
But if it's a dollar fifty anymore, it's a dollar
fifty with a drink, that's still the glo.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
Who was what was that? The Rizzler was just in
the building the other day, Not.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
The Rizzler his homies.

Speaker 6 (05:23):
Oh so it wasn't even.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
The Wrizzler, the second tier wrestler. No, that wasn't Rizzler.

Speaker 6 (05:28):
I thought.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
I thought the Rizzler was the one who was here
at the at the station, friend his friends.

Speaker 3 (05:37):
It was that dad of his son or.

Speaker 5 (05:41):
Drake AJ was here agent Justice, Justice and Justice.

Speaker 10 (05:46):
Yeah, it's the big Justice, the dad and the Sun
the Costco guys.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
Yeah, the Wrizzler.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
No, they're friends with the Rizzler.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
The Wrizzler is different.

Speaker 5 (05:56):
So stupid, yes, silly, you know what egg on your face?
Who is the Wrizzler?

Speaker 3 (06:02):
Who is the Rizzler?

Speaker 2 (06:03):
I don't hate him, but I don't know who he is,
so I'm not even completely confident that I know the
answer to that.

Speaker 6 (06:09):
But he does like reviews at Costco.

Speaker 10 (06:12):
The Costco A J and Big Justice. They do the
reviews at Costco. The Wrizzler just has the rizz face
where he rizzes up chicks and the Wrizzler is like
eight years old. Yeah, I know it's a kid, but like,
so that's all he does. So he does while they're
there doing the reviews. Yeah, I mean, like he'll do
reviews with them. But that's not why he is famous.

Speaker 9 (06:35):
Is he their family member?

Speaker 3 (06:37):
No, just a friend. He looks like he'll be dead
by seven.

Speaker 9 (06:40):
He looks like he's going to have a curonary.

Speaker 10 (06:43):
Watch the money pile up. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (06:46):
Joy again, it's called zepig Greg. The only think that
matters in life is how much money you have. Everything
else get.

Speaker 10 (07:01):
What every famous away person does. Okay, pile of the money,
and then you go on ozam.

Speaker 3 (07:07):
Big, yeah, bitch good, Yeah, is looking good. We're gonna
take a quick break.

Speaker 5 (07:12):
D d d U I q LBJ was what President's
initials menace uh Leonard Beatrice Jacobsen.

Speaker 9 (07:25):
Lyndon B.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
Johnson. Is that ringing bell? Yeah nowadays, but I was
drawing a blank Yeah.

Speaker 9 (07:30):
Yeah, Leonard fat Jacobson.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
And we are into another new hour insensitivity training for
a politically correct world. It is Wednesday morning, everybody. Yeah,
we are the Woody Show.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
Woody. That's Greg Gory Menace is here. Hi.

Speaker 6 (07:50):
We got Gina Grant right now.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
Sammy is here, Ce Mass And in studio, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls, we have a we have a guest,
very punctual and very impressive. Very few people are punctual
the way that our guest today, Greg Fitzsimmons. Welcome back,
Welcome back, and thank you thanks for being punctual.

Speaker 3 (08:13):
Is that all it takes.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
That's all it takes, Bar, It's the simple things. Like
my mom and my grandma. All it took was a
card for their birthday. They were happy people.

Speaker 5 (08:22):
I am not always punctional. It's early, so punctual functional,
not always functional or punctual. I here's my worst example
of being late, because it has cost my career dearly.
I go to the Aspen Comedy Festival. HBO used to
have this comedy festival.

Speaker 3 (08:41):
And I want it.

Speaker 5 (08:42):
I won the Jury Award for the best Comedian at
the festl NBC scouts are there. There becomes a buzz
and industry starts coming to all my other shows at
the festival. So I come back my age. He goes,
big news. Uh, Jeff, who is ahead of NB See Jeff? Yeah, no,

(09:03):
I whatever the guy's name is, he wants to see you.
He's very excited. So I got a nine o'clock meeting
on a Monday morning, and you know, I'm off at
the Green Bay chuckle hudd all weekend. I get back
late on a Sunday night, and so I get up
the next morning and I figured, all right, oh, I
needs about a half hour to get from Venice to
Burdbank and a Monday at nine am. So I start

(09:26):
driving and it's and all of a sudden, I'm halfway
there and it's nine o'clock. Oh now, I am like,
my phone is blowing up. I'm like, so anyway, long
story short. I get to his office twenty minutes late,
and this is a guy heads of networks are punctual.
And I walked in and I sat down. No, no, no,

(09:47):
I walked in and he goes no, you don't have
to sit down. How are you nice to meet Jeff Zucker?
Jeff's zuchun Jeff Zucker h And we talked for six minutes.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
Didn't sit down? Oh deal, no deal, dna sit down
even surprise he gave you six minutes, I know.

Speaker 5 (10:06):
And while I was talking, there was a wall of
TV's behind me with all the different morning news shows on,
and he was looking at that. Oh yeah, that's a
drive home where you're punching your steering weel yep, god yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
Oh my god, look at him.

Speaker 8 (10:23):
Now.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
This is a good segue because there's a couple of
things going on, which is why Greg Fitzimmons is here.
He's throwing his annual Saint Patrick's Day show at the
Hollywood Improv this Saturday. Tickets are available now if you
go to ticketweb dot com. Also, his latest special, it's
called You Know Me and Then is streaming on YouTube.
And speaking of podcasts, he's got his own podcast called
the Fitzdog Radio Podcast. You can listen to it on

(10:47):
his website, Greg Fitzimmons dot com. And I'm also assuming
like pretty much wherever you get podcasts, wherever you get hired.

Speaker 5 (10:53):
And also I know you guys are big in Pittsburgh.
I'm coming to Pittsburgh. Did the improv March twenty eighth
and twenty ninth, and we're very excited. I just booked
the line. I always I do the Saint Patrick's. They
show every year, and I always forget to book it.
So so I started calling people last night and we
got Bobby Lee, we got Harlan Williams.

Speaker 3 (11:13):
Nice, and we've got a huge guest.

Speaker 5 (11:16):
I can't even announce because they are playing a big
theater in l A the night before and they're gonna cut.
There's always a like Bill bur swung By last year,
Zach Alfanaki stuff by the end before.

Speaker 3 (11:28):
Are you guys coming? Really? I would love to have
you guys.

Speaker 9 (11:32):
That'd be incredible.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
Yeah, I got coupons.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
They're like, thank you you mentioned you mentioned Bill Byrd.
Do you think he's actually pissed a Billy Corgan.

Speaker 3 (11:41):
Or come on?

Speaker 5 (11:43):
That was like that was like Andy Kaufman and who
is the wrestler though? Oh yeah, Jerry Laller. Yeah, I
think this was good. I think you and me should
do something like this.

Speaker 9 (11:55):
That would be amazing.

Speaker 3 (11:56):
Yeah, let's get into a let's get into an internet feud.

Speaker 11 (11:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
The only person that you remind me of the looks
and sound is our old boss, that guy Greg Ashlock. Okay, right,
this will not be the big headline grab that Billy
Corgan and Bill Burr was. But you know we could
say he looks like Greg Ashlock. Okay, Yeah, it's a
good thing. He's a nice guy. Let me ask you

(12:20):
in the Saint Patrick's a thing.

Speaker 5 (12:21):
I'm gonna say, you look like the guy from Clerks,
Kevin Smith.

Speaker 3 (12:25):
Kevin Smith. What if we told you Wood he was
in the Kevin Smith movie recently?

Speaker 5 (12:30):
Yeah, voice only then they out their brothers. Yeah, exactly,
and Kevin Smith walked out right before.

Speaker 3 (12:42):
How weird is that?

Speaker 2 (12:43):
Now? Like I'm the before Kevin Smith before and after
talk about another guy who got When Greg walked in,
he said, oh my god, Gina, you look great.

Speaker 9 (12:53):
I've been riding high on that for days.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
Oh my god.

Speaker 12 (12:56):
It's it's amazing because I've known Greg for a long time.
And I mean I think I just was I was
carrying more, was carrying more boobs, I was carrying more
around the middle, and now I'm there's just less gena
elve and I'm very happy about it.

Speaker 3 (13:08):
Miss I missed part of Gina. Yeah, which part? Well,
I just think you've always carried it well. I never
thought of.

Speaker 5 (13:15):
You as some people. Some people, that's what he wanted
to say, carry extra weight. Well, yeah, I think I
carried it all right. It was proportional. It wasn't like,
you know, all hanging in the in the ass region,
you know, for the belly region that's the worst, where
you're all your all the guys you're dating are a

(13:35):
certain race.

Speaker 6 (13:38):
What race would that be.

Speaker 5 (13:39):
Let's just say some girls you see them and there
and they're with a guy, like a white girl, and
and you're like, she loves that car, not her first
choice in color.

Speaker 3 (13:52):
I'm gonna have to google. I'm not kidding. Yes, yes
you are.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
Greg fitz Simmons is here his annual Saint Patrick's Day
show at the Hollywood Improv this Saturday. Tickets are available
now ticketweb dot com and is latest special you Know
Me streaming on YouTube more with Greg Fitzsimmons.

Speaker 3 (14:09):
When we come back next, You're on the Woody Show.
Coming up next on the Woody Show. Maybe it'll be
something like we're just getting split, you know what I'm saying.
I'm just getting up enjoying myself or something much darker. Yeah,
I forget, I'll just die.

Speaker 5 (14:22):
Cares have you taken like a bunch of photos now
so that your daughter can put those up at her
wedding when you're gone this my dad would have loved
to have been here.

Speaker 3 (14:29):
Yeah, exactly, but he said the Woody Show back in
the bit.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
Greg Fitzsimmons is here. Let me ask you a question.
Who's more irritating and why New York's Eve drinkers or
Saint Patrick's Day drinkers. I would say New year z
because I grew up in New York and Saint Patrick's
Day was it was the greatest day of the year.
We started when I was like thirteen.

Speaker 5 (14:50):
We would tell this, I was twenty minutes from the city,
and so we would just jump on the train and
we paint our faces green. We were the those jackasses,
and we were sneaking in the bar, as we were
throwing up on the street. We were marching, we were
starting fights. And then we get on the train to
come home. When it was like all the commuters are
coming home from work. Guys in gray suits just wanted

(15:12):
to read the New York Post and have their tall
Boy that they won a Grand Central and then we're
on the train painted in green. And this is literally
when I started doing insult comedy. I would walk up
and down the aisles on Metro North and I would
annihilate business.

Speaker 6 (15:29):
People in the kiss Me on Irish gear.

Speaker 5 (15:31):
Yeah, and and so I still and and you go
to the Prey now and it is there's no drinking
all out on the streets. There's there's it's there's point
nobody's drunk anymore. It's it's a different culture New York, right,
Like it's not Boston now. Boston still like that. Chicago
is still like that. Chicago goes crazy. Yeah, my son

(15:54):
went to college in Chicago and he went to it.
He went to it last year.

Speaker 2 (15:57):
And I mean when they would die that River green
Man people, it's like all of a sudden, everybody came
out of the would work and they were all drunk.

Speaker 3 (16:04):
Yeah. But l A and l A.

Speaker 5 (16:06):
The reason I do my show is because there's nothing
in la It's like just another day. There's like, you know,
there's like a half a dozen Irish pubs that I
have people that show up, but there's no parade. You
don't see people wearing green. It's not a late night
so and so this became my solution for it.

Speaker 6 (16:24):
This is the first year.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
I'm ever gonna wear like anything green for sing Patrick's
typically because I think it's like so, I don't know,
I know it sounds dumb say it's cliche, because it
is cliche.

Speaker 6 (16:33):
It's what people are supposed to do.

Speaker 9 (16:35):
That's the point on.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
That, Like you're supposed to wear the ugly Christmas sweaters
and things like that. But I always found like, you
know what I'm not doing that.

Speaker 5 (16:42):
I'm gonna be black every day pretty much black or
gray maybe a dark navy, Yeah, a navy.

Speaker 9 (16:47):
I almost forget.

Speaker 3 (16:49):
What's the other color that you like? The maroon.

Speaker 10 (16:53):
One shirt that everything else is like, yeah, one shirt,
but salmon for a little.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
Wit like okay, but the picture that the kiss me
I'm Irish stuff right, Like is that do you love
the pride or is that just lame?

Speaker 5 (17:05):
Any sort of celebration of the Gaelic culture is to me, uh,
it's keeping it alive to me.

Speaker 3 (17:12):
You know.

Speaker 5 (17:13):
When I grew up, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, we would be
at my in the Bronx at my grandfather's house and
he would do old Irish limericks, oh, ones like that,
real limericks, and then my aunts and uncles would sing
Irish songs till two o'clock in the morning. Love really okay.
I think part of me did, part of me didn't.
But it's as I got older I started to really

(17:34):
appreciate it more.

Speaker 9 (17:35):
We're all the songs kind of like sullen and sad.

Speaker 5 (17:38):
No, some of them were fighting songs, a lot.

Speaker 3 (17:41):
Of fighting fighting, yeah, fighting.

Speaker 5 (17:45):
And then here's what's great is my daughter, who's a
very accomplished floutist, and then she learned how to play
guitar about nine months ago. So she's going to be
performing Irish songs with my buddy Mikey Fitzgibbon at the show.
And they're going to play some Pogues songs and some
van more Oh yeah.

Speaker 12 (18:02):
And did anyone ever grow up doing the dancing where
you keep your arms at your side and your.

Speaker 5 (18:07):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, My my nieces all do that.

Speaker 9 (18:10):
I love that.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
Well, I'll have you know because we're going to be
in the Saint Patrick's Day Parayed in Dallas on Saturday. Now, yes,
I bought a green shirt to wear, that's right, that's right.
I was saying you had to do this for a reason.
My wife says, I'm going soft to my old age.

Speaker 12 (18:29):
You got to put that in heavy rotation though, that's
not a once a year thing.

Speaker 13 (18:32):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 5 (18:33):
I mean you go on face paints. No, I'm not
going to face paint. It's like, dude, baby steps. You're
going with the green shirt.

Speaker 6 (18:40):
For the first time. Yeah, you just don't jump.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
In the deep end of the pool full on Leprechaun outfit,
first time out dog. Yeah, it is the one to
show more with Greg fitz Simmons coming up for you
next The Wood Show.

Speaker 6 (18:56):
All right, welcome back Greg Fitzsimmons.

Speaker 2 (19:00):
Here is annual Saint Patrick's Day show, Hollywood Improv this Saturday.
Tickets are available now if you go to ticketweb dot com.
Guys Own podcast, The Fitzdog Radio Podcast, and of course
his latest special You Know Me streaming now on YouTube
and it's got four hundred and ninety nine thousand views.

Speaker 3 (19:18):
It's forty nine nine hundred.

Speaker 5 (19:20):
So if you guys, we need one hundred shit during
this show, on it and give me give me the view.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
All right, Metis, can you put a link on on
social media for that absolutely amaz there you go. That
should get you at least fifty Yeah, sea beets. What
is this game that we have?

Speaker 5 (19:37):
Well it dovetails, as they say, right off of all
these Saint Patrick's and Irish talk. Now, Greg, you did
grow up in New York City, but of course you
spend a lot of time in the Boston comedy scene.
You're very familiar with that whole the culture there, right. Yeah,
So I have some like super southy towny news clips
and we're gonna play how this clip end the intro
people talk about stuff that's happening in Boston, and I'll

(19:58):
give you the multiple choices about how these townies this
is like Florida Man plus Catholic rage and multiple choice,
Yeah and multiple choice.

Speaker 3 (20:07):
All right, here we go.

Speaker 5 (20:08):
First clip, So this is a southee reacting to the Globe.
They were asking, Hey, why do Bulger just got captured?
What do you think about that?

Speaker 3 (20:16):
The guy's eighty one.

Speaker 9 (20:18):
I figured this time leave Maloney's going to be dead
in a couple of years.

Speaker 2 (20:22):
He wasn't mobster. But so what I mean as a
as a native of Massachusetts, Yeah, you is it really
Boston a suburb of Boston.

Speaker 14 (20:35):
There's com that's about an hour outside. It's Starboard area,
Worcester County.

Speaker 5 (20:40):
Yep, yep, Hey do you know Greg Gore, So that's
she's obviously a fan of whities. Yeah, of course so
does she does? She finish this Boston interview by saying,
one of the three follow options, Okay, my father was
and I turned out okay about gangsters. Of course, everybody's
got an occupation. Okay, just gohot sock. Yeah sucks. Look, Greg,

(21:03):
go first, since he's uh, I'm gonna go be because
it's it's an occupation because embossed patient.

Speaker 3 (21:08):
It really is.

Speaker 5 (21:09):
Because you got to remember these guys like Whitey they
buy the turkeys for everybody at Christmas. Sure, when Whitey
Bulger got arrested, well he got the drugs off the street.
He replaced him with his own drugs. Sammy will let
you guess. Second, I'll guess. Go socks, goost socks, all right,
Greg Gory, I think occupation.

Speaker 6 (21:32):
Be patient. All right, I'm gonna say, uh a, I'll
go off everybody.

Speaker 5 (21:36):
My father was a gangster, and I think that Okay,
find how to this one ends?

Speaker 9 (21:39):
He wasn't watched, but so much everybody's got occupation.

Speaker 3 (21:48):
All right.

Speaker 2 (21:48):
Option for people who might not know, how would you
describe as Southie? Like what, like, what kind of characteristics
make up a Southie?

Speaker 5 (21:55):
Well, their territorial they're racists anymore. Now, Southeast all a
bunch of yuppies. That just the south shore of Boston.

Speaker 2 (22:04):
Yeah, but which, by the way, Sammy takes an exception
to when we say that, you know, Boston's a racist town.

Speaker 3 (22:11):
I'd say, I don't think it is.

Speaker 5 (22:13):
It's the most segregated town in the North, to be fair.
She moved away when she was a young teen and
never spent time in like the hardcore like this area.

Speaker 3 (22:21):
Yeah, the people I knew. He's not aware of his reputation.

Speaker 5 (22:28):
Yeah, I think that if you're white, you just don't go.
It's just so segregated. Like my cop was a my cop,
my uncle was a cop in Mattapan. And so I
went to college in Boston and so uh Harvard and University.
So I took the subway out to go visit him.

(22:49):
He was going to take me home for supper on
a Sunday. You know, that's what they do on Sundays,
you have a supper. And so I took the red
line outside. I think it's like the last stop in Mattapan.
And I got off the train and three cops walked
up to me within thirty seconds like what are you
doing here? And I was like fifty out. I said,
I'm here to see my uncle. Who's your uncle? Uncle

(23:12):
Tim Harrington? And he goes and they go, oh, come
with us, and they walked me to the police station
where my uncle was just finishing up beating somebody up.
Yea wrapping up for the day, phone books. It won't
leave to Mark all right, next clip, it's NBC ten.
As we just mentioned, there is a reputation in Boston

(23:32):
for the Saint Patrick's Day parade, and some people, including
the city council folks, are not a fan.

Speaker 3 (23:37):
All right.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
City Councilor Ed Flynn, whose district includes South Boston, says
there needs to be a crackdown, including a zero tolerance
policy on public drinking, fighting, and destruction of property.

Speaker 12 (23:48):
But over the last several years it turned into a
place for people to come to partty for three days.

Speaker 3 (23:55):
Partty for three days.

Speaker 5 (23:57):
Does he end this with, Hey, it's a Marty Grus
atmosphere can be They should be in church or see
GRONKX doesn't even show up.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
I'm gonna say, Marty Gras, it's a pot is He
also by saying it's a potty could also be public urination.

Speaker 3 (24:13):
It's a potty, have to of course.

Speaker 9 (24:17):
Yeah, I'm gonna go and Gronk doesn't even show up.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
Yeah, I'm going see see I'm going, Marty Gras.

Speaker 5 (24:24):
I think that was like a general answer, Marti Gras.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
Let's find out it's turned into a place for people
to come to potty for three days.

Speaker 3 (24:36):
It's a Mardi Gras atmosphere.

Speaker 6 (24:39):
Sorry, I should a Misphere.

Speaker 9 (24:42):
Gra So you take the r out you put at
the end of actually exactly what it is.

Speaker 3 (24:47):
That's how they discribed the Boston accent.

Speaker 14 (24:49):
Yeah, my dad can't even say my sister's name. He
calls her Jenner.

Speaker 5 (24:57):
Yeah, I went to the I met this girl on
a bus and uh, I was going from Boston back
to New York and I met this girl. She was
from Boston College and I had a six pack for
the ride and we shared it and then I kissed
her and not even tongue, just like kissed her on
the mouth. But it was like, you know, the green

(25:17):
light was there, sure, and so the Saint Patrick gave
was coming up. A couple weeks later, I go, do
you want to go to SU's Irish? You want to
go to Saint Patrick's day? So we go down to
Southey and it is Maddy gar it is. And the
thing is about Southee is everybody keeps their door open,
and you're encouraged to go in and out of everybody's house.
And they've got got beer, they've got food, they got

(25:40):
and so so we walked down and there's firemen on
rooftops just drinking. And she's like, this is is you know,
like you see somebody wanting to have one impression and
see him with the lights on. You're like, yeah, yeah,
without the six pack. And she's like, uh, She's like
that what if there's a fire. Like everything she saw

(26:00):
was negative.

Speaker 3 (26:02):
And so we went and see.

Speaker 5 (26:04):
We went into this house and uh, you know, we're
we're eating like some coffee cake and drinking some scotch.
And then I excused myself to go to the bathroom
and I went right out the back door. I left
her in southeast with her bad at it.

Speaker 3 (26:20):
Yeah what a joy? Yeah is wrong? But you got
all right?

Speaker 6 (26:24):
Greg Fitzsimmons is here. We're playing a little game.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
These are all all clips from Boston news stories and
we have to try to figure out how they end.

Speaker 5 (26:31):
This is also from the Globe. So Boston, like a
lot of cities, they have a spot saving system. So
when you if you shovel your own you know, when
the snow piles up, shovel that area.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
It's sure, but you have to put a chair out there.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
In a chair.

Speaker 9 (26:44):
Well you know what.

Speaker 5 (26:45):
That's what this next clip is going to set us up,
is people who put different chairs, cones, baby toys or whatever.
Pittsburgh is the same way. Man one of those little
jockeys with the lantern that it's very boss lawn jockey.
So this is a guy a scribe that system. And
people who break that system right.

Speaker 15 (27:02):
What they do is they pull in, they move the
car and they part. Then they take off and they
don't put your cone on your chair back into the space.
So then you come back from work at four o'clock
in the afternoon, after you shovel the day before for
three hours or two hours, win in any metal snow
and your face is gone. Because Joe Wittiot it came from.

Speaker 3 (27:20):
It came from whatever.

Speaker 11 (27:21):
Yeah, took.

Speaker 5 (27:25):
So the code blocks it though from refilling, but it
shows hey I did this, Yeah let me. Yeah, it's
not yours. You didn't do the work layoff. That's like, yeah,
you don't have to pee on it. You just put
a cone there and you've marked your territory, so you
will respect that. Does this finish with Joey? It came
from whatever, probably New York, Option A, option B, and
he doesn't even own a shovel or option C. It's

(27:45):
a wicked pisso all right, Greg Fitzsimmons, your guests give
me a again, the probably from New York.

Speaker 3 (27:52):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (27:53):
Yeah, I'm saying that because that's such a big rivalry.
There's no love loss between those two cities. I don't
think in New York City you're not shoveling your own thing.

Speaker 5 (28:03):
Else slowly says, And you get home from work at
four o'clock three good, Yeah, working hard, not even a
job drunk?

Speaker 3 (28:15):
Yeah, Sammy, what was the second one? Again? That was
they don't even know he doesn't even own a shovel.

Speaker 14 (28:21):
That one, he doesn't even own a shovel.

Speaker 5 (28:23):
Okay, Greg Gory, Yeah, let's go with B. Shovel b
New York, New York. Hey, all right, I'm going New
York as well. Let's find out and.

Speaker 15 (28:32):
His face is gone because Joe whdiot came from wherever
and he doesn't even own a shovel.

Speaker 3 (28:41):
From wherever.

Speaker 2 (28:42):
Probably New York, that's what I was anticipating, Probably New York.

Speaker 3 (28:46):
It takes three hours to shovel of parking, dude, I
was watching all dude.

Speaker 5 (28:50):
That's that's because what they do, the plows obviously shove
the snow to the side, so you've got four or
five feet.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
Yeah, all right, Well, Greg Fitzimmons is here. He's got
his annual Saint Patrick's Day show happening at the Hollywood
Improv this Saturday. Tickets are available now if you go
to ticketweb dot com. He's got a load of special
called you Know Me streaming on YouTube. So close to
five hundred thousand views. I think we're only after that
last mentioned ninety nine and a half away.

Speaker 3 (29:16):
Come on, really yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
So yeah, And he's also got his own podcast, to
Fitzdog Radio Podcast More with Greg Fitzsimmons when we come
back here after the break on The Woody Show.

Speaker 16 (29:31):
Already show.

Speaker 3 (29:39):
Woody show.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
Coming up here in the next fifteen minutes, We've got
another opportunity for you to get on the guest list
for the Woodies show After Hours Takeover at Disney California
Adventure Park. It's happening on Monday night, April the twenty first.
It's you and four of whoever you want to bring,
so you get a total of five spots on the
guest list. Your chance to win coming up here in
the next fifteen minutes. Tomorrow is a Throwback Thursday. Saint

(30:05):
Patrick's Day is going to be the theme for a
Throwback Thursday this week. Yeah, that's actually a good question
for you. So Saint Patty's Day or Saint Patrick Stello with.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
D's and D's. Yeah, that's the case.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
So not Saint Patty's Day, Sat Patty's Day.

Speaker 5 (30:21):
Well, and it really is like I've always felt racially profiled.
It's always the first date of the year that was
filled for me over the years.

Speaker 3 (30:27):
Like every club wants me.

Speaker 9 (30:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (30:29):
And then and then when I worked, I was a
producer on the Ellen DeGeneres Show one for Emmys, and
I would give them all back to have that time
in my life. I had an NDA where I couldn't
talk about her. And then now that she fled to England, Yeah,
which to me, like the deportation thing is starting out

(30:50):
on the right folk and I think she wanted to
move to a country England where being called the sea
word is kind of like a good thing.

Speaker 6 (30:58):
Oh yeah, you could have Blend.

Speaker 3 (31:01):
It's a harsh yeah.

Speaker 5 (31:02):
So I so I'm starting I'm beginning to talk about
it because I think it's okay.

Speaker 3 (31:07):
I didn't know it.

Speaker 5 (31:10):
I'll tell you this story though, when I when it
was Saint Patrick's day, they would come to me and
they would make me do this bit with her where
they got me a Leprechaun outfit.

Speaker 3 (31:20):
Okay, and I'm a grown man, and I got.

Speaker 5 (31:24):
Me a Leprecaunt outfit, and we would do this thing
where I would go out on the stage and I
had a pot of gold coins and I would run
around throwing them.

Speaker 3 (31:34):
And she would chase me. That was the cold open
to the show, okay.

Speaker 5 (31:38):
So, and it was one of those things where like
I just had to do it, like they made me
do it. And so I come out one year and
I got on the tights and the pointy shoes like
the little hat, and I walk out, and I sit
down in a director's chair backstage waiting for the cold
open to start. And then and the lead guest of the

(32:01):
show walks out and sits down next to me. And
it's Angelina Joela, who is my hall pass. Okay, my
wife doesn't know it, but she's.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
This is the perfect opportunity. You're looking your best is.

Speaker 5 (32:13):
She sits down and she looks at me and she
bursts out laughter, and then the music starts, and then
I got to run out and you got to see
this crown on my face. You can look it up
on YouTube. It's I think it's up on YouTube.

Speaker 3 (32:33):
And it was.

Speaker 5 (32:35):
It was the worst experience of my life. Well that's
like my Kate Beckonsale story.

Speaker 3 (32:40):
Oh true, that kind of got ruined. I got invited.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
We got invited to the when Hamilton came to town,
and we got invited to like this special performance of it.
And so my wife's really big into theater stuff in Hamilton.
So we go and intermission I bored to death. I'm
sitting there. I just want to go because I got
to work the next more morning. I'm super tired, and
my wife goes, I know, you want to leave, and

(33:04):
I'm fine with that. But before you go, your it
girl is literally right behind you. I'm surprised you can't
feel the heat off of her right now. It was
Kate Beckinsale, which is like my hall pass right well
at the time. She she's since.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
Been like you know the.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
Yeah, very nutty anyway, still very very beautiful woman. Anyway,
So turn around and my wife goes, excuse me, miss Beckinsale, ah,
and she introduces herself, introduces me.

Speaker 6 (33:31):
She goes, my husband loves you.

Speaker 3 (33:33):
And I I wanted to die. I wanted to die.

Speaker 2 (33:37):
And she was very sweet and she was very nice,
like Angelia and Joe Lee, but like man, but like
two opportunities to like, you know, not that we had.

Speaker 3 (33:44):
A chance, right, I don't chance?

Speaker 2 (33:48):
Yeah right, you know, I mean Greg, Yeah, you could
have been with Angelia and Jolo at least for the
one night with the hall pass.

Speaker 5 (33:53):
My friend has the hall passed, Jake David Feldman has
this great comedian nobody's ever heard of. And he's like,
he's like, you know, uh, me and my wife had
hall passes, and mine was h Jennifer Ana stannin my
wife's was Brad Pitt, and then recently I said to her,
it's been a long time. Do you think we should
like re up? Oh yeah, And so she goes, all right,

(34:15):
I'm gonna go with Timothy shaml shallow May and shall
May yeah.

Speaker 3 (34:21):
Shallo May. And he goes all right, I'm gonna go
with the babysitter.

Speaker 5 (34:25):
Yeah. Yeah, smart, yeah, yeah, it work smarter, not harder.

Speaker 2 (34:31):
Yeah, work the numbers. Yeah, funds are open eight seven four.
Greg Fitzimmons is here. All right, welcome back everybody. Yeah,
Greg Fitzsimmons is here. You can check him out Instagram
at Greg Fitzsimmons, Twitter, Greg fitz Show, and yeah, it's

(34:53):
gonna be You gotta like figure out the way they
got to buy out whoever? Which one do you want?
Do you want the Greg Fitzsimmons or Greg fitz Show.
It's like them all uniform.

Speaker 5 (35:02):
I want to medicine people, do I want everything to
be fits dog?

Speaker 6 (35:05):
Put him on a link tree medicine.

Speaker 3 (35:08):
Figure that out. Yeah. I used to master at all
this really.

Speaker 9 (35:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
That way you can just give one thing like Greg
Fitzimmons dot com and then on social media find me
at Fitzdog.

Speaker 10 (35:16):
I did have Whitney Cummings because she had her in
the middle of her user.

Speaker 3 (35:22):
Yeah, like, what are you doing?

Speaker 8 (35:25):
Huh?

Speaker 3 (35:25):
How do you fix?

Speaker 2 (35:26):
You gotta know somebody from the East coast or from
the northeast, you know somebody.

Speaker 3 (35:30):
Yeah, I've got a guy we.

Speaker 10 (35:31):
Got the benefit of originally being from San Francisco. Like
that's where everything starts. Somebody that works there.

Speaker 2 (35:37):
Yeah, he's got a guy used to be the janitor
at x or Twitter, and now the guy runs the place.
He's like, right, yea, yeah, yeah. Here we got one more,
one more clip. This is we were talking about the well,
we were playing a clip from the Boston News stories
and then trying to guess via multiple choice how the
story ends.

Speaker 3 (35:55):
Here we go, I.

Speaker 17 (35:56):
Expects and to see what I seen on a Sunday
early Sunday on.

Speaker 12 (36:00):
Lisa Vieira says, a friend of yours was walking down
mass Ab with his fiance around seven thirty Sunday morning.

Speaker 9 (36:06):
That's when a man driving by insulted the woman from
his car, and.

Speaker 17 (36:09):
All of a sudden, he's seen the cars running head.

Speaker 5 (36:18):
Why are they getting a fight? Oh, a guy was
driving by the insulted my girlfriend.

Speaker 3 (36:23):
Mass Ab. No less, that'll do it all right.

Speaker 5 (36:26):
So the options are and then A he got stabbed,
b then I seen another car or see he go.

Speaker 3 (36:33):
Socks, uh Breakford Simmons, it's obviously a stabbing. I mean
he assaulted the girlfriend. Okay, it can't.

Speaker 5 (36:43):
Just d next logical step, well yeah, I mean it's
like they it's they're in a rush in Boston. There
can't be an argument first, it's just you go straight
right to this seven am on Sunday step on the
way to church. Yeah, yeah, father Murph. He was preaching
at where it just means black people. So I left.

(37:10):
How'd you get your girlfriend?

Speaker 3 (37:14):
All right? So you're going with stabbing?

Speaker 2 (37:16):
Yeah, it's a stabbing, all right, Boston or Massachusetts native
Sammy Marina, what's your guess?

Speaker 14 (37:21):
I'm gonna go with.

Speaker 6 (37:22):
Then I seen another car, Then I seen another Then
I seen another car.

Speaker 3 (37:28):
Scene menace. We finally have to have ghost socks. I'm
going to be.

Speaker 9 (37:33):
Amazing, all right, Gina, I think another car pulls up,
for sure, I seen another car.

Speaker 3 (37:38):
I've seen another car hit the person or something. I'm
going to defer to Greg and say stabbing as well,
because it's it's in the news. I don't think it
would be in the news if it was just a
cat call.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
Keep in mind, I know this is real life and
these are real people in real consequences. But however, inside
I'm kind of hoping for the stabbing because it's a
much better story. It's like a cartoon character. We could
get back at you, right and got it, Like when
was this? I mean, like how long? I'm sure this
was years ago? Right, like, oh yeah, it's all water
under the bridge. All right, water, it's all water. Water,

(38:11):
water is fill. That's not plus time people. All right,
Uh yeah, I'll go with the I'll go along with you.

Speaker 3 (38:18):
Greg two. Gregg's right, let's ends, And.

Speaker 17 (38:22):
All of a sudden he's seen the car, so he
set of running down here. Next thing you know, he
got Step.

Speaker 3 (38:32):
The best it is.

Speaker 5 (38:33):
The guy didn't even leave the Carri'm gonna chase.

Speaker 9 (38:40):
After you in your car. That's a man's.

Speaker 3 (38:43):
Mellow recounting it.

Speaker 17 (38:46):
You know, all of a sudden he's seen the car,
so he said, running down here. Next thing you know,
he got Step.

Speaker 5 (38:55):
I went to Star Market and got a you know,
a roasted I went to dunk and got Boston Cream.

Speaker 3 (39:01):
So I had to break up with him because he's
all stabbed.

Speaker 6 (39:06):
No disrespect. It's a fun game.

Speaker 3 (39:08):
I like that game game.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
Well, Greg Fitzsimmons make sure you go check out his special.

Speaker 3 (39:13):
His latest special is called you Know Me.

Speaker 2 (39:15):
It's streaming on YouTube Saint Patrick's Day Show at the
Hollywood Improv this Saturday. Tickets available at ticketweb dot com.
Check out and follow his uh fitz Dog radio podcast.

Speaker 6 (39:25):
What else did we miss? I mean, what else?

Speaker 3 (39:27):
What else? It's the national We're going.

Speaker 5 (39:29):
We're everywhere everywhere improv and that's that's great.

Speaker 3 (39:35):
I mean, I appreciate all the loves of course.

Speaker 18 (39:37):
Man.

Speaker 6 (39:38):
Yeah, well, we love spending time with you. Yeah, it's fun.

Speaker 2 (39:41):
It is, you know, we get to have a good
time and you know, just just chop it up together.
But you get to look at Gina, right, we love you, man,
Thank you so much for coming in and thank you
so much for being I mean, look at that punctual
on time.

Speaker 6 (39:56):
The way we get the most.

Speaker 3 (39:57):
Greg, I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do.
I'm not up for another hour? All right?

Speaker 6 (40:03):
More what he shows next?

Speaker 3 (40:04):
Hang up? Still show, He'll be right back.

Speaker 5 (40:06):
Meanwhile, Sea Bass will continuous, endless search for the perfect week.

Speaker 3 (40:10):
Yeah, I mean hair flex, I'm sorry, I mean hair system.
Get it, he's falling. It's not my scalp. I have
light brown hair with bald highlights. We'll reserve.

Speaker 2 (40:21):
And Gina gret is right there, she's got your news headlines.

Speaker 9 (40:26):
Well it's the end of an era.

Speaker 12 (40:27):
Southwest just buckled and announced they'll start charging for check bags.

Speaker 3 (40:32):
No, ye knew that was happening.

Speaker 9 (40:33):
Yeah, it was on the horizon.

Speaker 2 (40:35):
Yeah, the minute they started doing like the uh, the
assigned seating thing and announced that they were going to
be offering certain rows for an additional price with more
leg room and red eyes, that they were doing all
this other stuff to increase revenue, right, and so you
just knew it was a matter of time.

Speaker 6 (40:50):
The one thing is that that was kind.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
Of their thing, right, It was like no card, But
you know what else is their thing and their stockholders
thing money.

Speaker 9 (40:57):
Yeah, they do like it.

Speaker 3 (40:58):
They like it.

Speaker 12 (40:58):
Yeah, they were the Yeah, they were the last major
airline in the US that didn't do that stuff.

Speaker 9 (41:04):
The Boston Globe ran the story. It's an obituary.

Speaker 12 (41:07):
So starting May twenty eighth, you won't even get one
bag on Southwest. They haven't said how much they're charging it,
but we know other airlines tack on around thirty five
bucks for your first bag, more for the second bag,
and they're still hooking up their loyal customers, So frequent
flyers and business class passengers they'll still get bags free.

Speaker 9 (41:25):
But everybody else we're paying.

Speaker 3 (41:27):
Oh it's sweet like everybody else.

Speaker 9 (41:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:29):
Southwest is not the low cost carrier like it was. No,
it's not Spirit, it's Frontier, it's not Allegiant.

Speaker 3 (41:37):
Now when are they doing the assigned seating thing this year?
Bring it on.

Speaker 12 (41:43):
It's like, yeah, do that, but also stick a TV
in the headrest. It's like, if you're doing all these
other upgrades, let's really go for it and.

Speaker 3 (41:50):
Get rid of the little cutesy heart logo thing. Oh yeah, Wow,
doesn't like the hearts. I love the friendliness of them.
You guys hate that. The kookie quirky songs. I love that. Yeah,
I love it too, all the jokes, but the rest
is annoying.

Speaker 5 (42:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:07):
The non assigned seating seating.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
On Southwest start okay, second half of twenty twenty five.

Speaker 9 (42:16):
Summer, basically at the end offering.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
Book Oh, they're offering booking for a signed and premium
seating in the second half of twenty twenty five, expected
to begin operating with the assigned and premium seating in
twenty twenty six.

Speaker 9 (42:28):
Yeah, just to get you used to that.

Speaker 3 (42:29):
Yeah, you got easy.

Speaker 10 (42:31):
They were going to crack down on preboarding too. I'm
still running into that when it's like.

Speaker 2 (42:36):
One hundred people in wheelchairs. Yeah, but weird family when
they get off the plane the spry.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
Yeah, people need wheelchairs.

Speaker 6 (42:43):
It's a miracle.

Speaker 9 (42:43):
I know, it's amazing.

Speaker 10 (42:44):
Like, yeah, the one person and then like six family
members on the preboard healing power. I mean, when you
get the sign seating, I guess it's not gonna matter anymore.

Speaker 11 (42:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 9 (42:54):
Has anyone seen the new Southwest planes? Have you been
on them? They're amazing.

Speaker 14 (42:59):
Wowcause I had a layover and so I went from
one of their oldest planes to one of their newest planes.
And they're so nice. They have all these outlets and stuff.
They have lighting that goes all the way across. It's
like mood lighting almost. It's so nice and so cool.

Speaker 12 (43:12):
That sounds like the old Virgin Airlines. They're kind of modern.

Speaker 3 (43:16):
But going back to what you were saying, TVs, no TVs.

Speaker 9 (43:20):
We got to get those TVs in the head rest.

Speaker 2 (43:21):
Yeah, still no TVs, but like most people are just
watching on their phoning into their tablet.

Speaker 9 (43:25):
Because if I I always bring it and I'm ready.
But I'm like, ooh the Sirens song of the headrest TV.
I'd much rather do that.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
Yeah, but it'll cut cost, you know, not by not
having that right, So I don't think. I don't think
they're jumping to offer it because they'll say, oh, well
you can just watch on your on your divide.

Speaker 9 (43:40):
But then you have to pay for Wi Fi.

Speaker 3 (43:41):
Yeah stuff not in Southwest. You can do the free stuff,
the free TV and movies that commercial.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
Yeah, you know, they don't pay to watch the stuff
if it's on your tablet. It's only if you want
to start browsing the internet or doing or do any
other stuff.

Speaker 3 (43:55):
The entertainment is good.

Speaker 8 (43:57):
Well.

Speaker 12 (43:58):
Investigators gave an update yesterday on mid air collision that
happened in January, you know, with the American Airlines plane
in the Army helicopter in DC. So the NTSB that's
the National Transportation Safety Board. They called for immediate changes
and said that the current helicopter routes around the busy
airport pose an intolerable risk to aviation safety. So the
NTSB recommended that the FAA permanently banned helicopter flights near

(44:22):
the airport only when two specific runways are in use,
and that was immediately announced that would be the new rule. Like,
they're not even they're not even consulting. It's just we
can't do that again.

Speaker 3 (44:33):
Smart.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
Yeah, brother, do you see the Since we're on the
topic of flying and stuff like it, this flight from
Air India. Oh yeah, so it is an Air India
flight from Chicago to New Delhi. Yeah, they had to
force them to turn around and go back to Chicago
several hours into the flight because multiple bathrooms, eight out
of the twelve toilets on the plane were broken and clogged.

(44:58):
Now you might be wondering, menace, Yes, how how guys,
how it happened and what were they clogged with?

Speaker 3 (45:03):
Well, it turns out the animals on.

Speaker 2 (45:05):
Board were flushing clothes, plastic bags, rags, and other things
down the toilets and it totally messed up the whole
because they're idiots.

Speaker 9 (45:15):
But how does everyone on the same plane do that?

Speaker 2 (45:19):
Spokesperson Shirt Yeah for Air India told reporters this is
not the first time something like this has happened on
their airline. It happens far more often than you think
on air India flights. And they said it's things like, quote,
blankets in I guess underwear, they said, innerwear. Some guys
that underwear, diapers, and a number of other things that
normal people would never think to even try to flush blankets, blankets,

(45:44):
Like I've seen videos of India not the cleanest place,
So I don't know what happens over there. What people
you've never been on a plane, You've never used a.

Speaker 9 (45:52):
Toilet, not everybody.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
Some of those people are pooping off trains and stuff
like that, outhouses. So this this flight that just turned
around went back to Chicago. It was in the air
for ten hours and went nowhere, so they absolute So
they left Chicago five hours out, turned around over like
Greenland or something, and then came back to Chicago.

Speaker 3 (46:16):
Good. Yeah, yeah, exactly, who cares?

Speaker 9 (46:19):
Yeah you live there now.

Speaker 3 (46:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:20):
And then there was this other one where this flight
to Miami had to turn around go back to the
airport because one of the passengers attacked a flight attendant.
He also kicked and punched the seat of the person
in front of him, swallowed some rosary beads. He was
traveling with his sister, who said that her brother had
told her to quote close her eyes and pray because

(46:41):
Satan's disciples had followed them onto the plane.

Speaker 3 (46:43):
All right, cool, do we need to.

Speaker 9 (46:45):
Start doing psychic ls before we get on planes?

Speaker 2 (46:47):
The plane landed, he charred towards the exit, he threw
punches at a different flight attendant, and that's when finally
some passengers jumped in and restrained this guy until the
cops got there. He was taken into the county jail,
but a quick stop at the hospital first to see
what they could do about the rosary beads that he swallowed.

Speaker 3 (47:03):
I think what we have to do is, you know
how they can do measure air like air quality air?
They need to measure the air in public restrooms and
in airplanes because people here at work, for example, in
the men's room, lose their minds your total animals, they
act like they would never act.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
But it doesn't where else. So we're breathing the same air.
So how do you test for that.

Speaker 3 (47:23):
Something is happening? And then in planes people lose their mind.
You could you could unfreeze a caveman from ten million
years ago, and he wouldn't flush stuff.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
Down the toilet, but I really wanted to.

Speaker 3 (47:35):
That's okay.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
So let's just say, like you that you were talking about,
like we're mentioning how like a lot of outhouses and
things like that, and people live in certain parts of
India whatever. Okay, you somehow got to Chicago. Yeah, right,
you spent more than Yeah, so you've been on a
plane and you saw the normal world. Yeah, I'm sure
you have used the toilet since you were visiting Chicago.

Speaker 3 (47:56):
You know.

Speaker 10 (47:58):
Why, dude, So this unlocked and memory. We talked about
it on the show. I don't know how many years ago,
but India had a campaign called Poop to the lou
where it was trying to get They made a music
video and a song to it to get people from
stopping and pooping in the streets because it was just
like cool, insane to skip to Malu. Yeah, poo to Yeah,

(48:24):
you'll get up poop to Malu India government campaign.

Speaker 2 (48:28):
But also, okay, so I don't want to really travel internationally.
But even let's say I had to come up with
a list of one hundred countries, right, I think India
would be pretty far down there.

Speaker 10 (48:43):
Well, there's such a divide in wealth in India and areas. Yeah,
so you'll go to really really nice places India.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
Well, I don't like food because I don't like curry.
Curry disagrees with me big time.

Speaker 9 (48:53):
But they have more than curry.

Speaker 3 (48:55):
No understand.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
Yeah, you don't have to have the curry.

Speaker 3 (48:57):
I don't think my neighbors know that there are great people.

Speaker 2 (49:01):
But men, I swear it's like every day i'm outside,
it's like up curry again, It's like, well grown up.

Speaker 3 (49:06):
My mother every night was chicken. Yeah right, yeah, up,
I agree again.

Speaker 10 (49:10):
Yeah, but it will just be like you'll go to
really nice areas and then some areas are just straight
up slum.

Speaker 3 (49:15):
Nope you know.

Speaker 15 (49:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
Yeah, let's say I've seen slum dog millionaire dog.

Speaker 3 (49:19):
Yeah, you know, or like.

Speaker 10 (49:21):
A lot of people that they if let's say you
visit Jamaica, right and you get off Let's say you're
taking a cruise. You get off the cruise boat and
you're like, oh, I'm gonna go hang out at a
resort for the day. Really nice area, but you're gonna
have to go through a really really bad area yeah
to get there first. Yeah, it's just you know, that's
how it is some places, especially India.

Speaker 3 (49:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (49:43):
Well, a woman says that Odell Beckham Junior was one
of many men who assaulted her along with Diddy back
in twenty eighteen, but both Diddy and Beckham.

Speaker 9 (49:52):
Say that this is total crap.

Speaker 12 (49:53):
At first, the woman said that Diddy and several john
Does brutally assaulted her at her home after she made
a comment about Tupac's murdered during a FaceTime Call It Diddy,
But in another version of the complaint, she says that
the john Does were Odell and streamer and comedian Drewski,
and she alleges that after did he held a knife
to her face, covered her with lubricant, and assaulted her
with a TV remote. Drewski jumped on top of her

(50:14):
and knocked the wind out of her and treated.

Speaker 9 (50:15):
Her body like a slip and slide.

Speaker 12 (50:17):
She says Odell participated too, but he has released a
statement saying that he's confident that these ridiculous claims will
be dismissed.

Speaker 3 (50:24):
Well, there's that Le'Veon Bell story.

Speaker 2 (50:26):
Oh yeah, former Steeler running back Le'Veon Bell and then
went on to the Jets. I think, yeah and yeah,
so like a horrible story. He and his brother are
being accused by his cousin, his first cousin, of sexually
assaulting her, raping or whatever from when she was like
a little kid all the way up until like twenty seventeen,
and she filed a lawsuit, which I guess they didn't

(50:47):
respond to, so there was a default judgment, yeah, against
him for twenty five million dollars because he never responded
to the lawsuit, So it's like some kind of violation
of the Fifth Amendment and.

Speaker 9 (50:57):
His brother for eleven million.

Speaker 2 (50:59):
Yeah, the brother for eleven million. So I guess they
have an opportunity to kind of go back on it
and stuff. But like, dude, why does everybody want to
be diddy? Yeah, I'm not saying you did it. By
the way, it seems like you just didn't respond to
the lassuit.

Speaker 3 (51:10):
Who knows what that you could just not respond eight.

Speaker 2 (51:13):
Seven seven forty four, Woodie, we look how people with
food poisoning feel. Because it all right, Welcome back, everybody.

Speaker 3 (51:23):
A couple of.

Speaker 6 (51:23):
Things I wanted to share with you.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
Of course you can when you're way to the Woody
Show After hours takeover Disney California Adventure Park bonus chance
to sign up and win. Just go to the woodieshow
dot com. It's the woodieshow dot com for all the
information part close to the public.

Speaker 3 (51:39):
Just open the Woody Show. Listeners who have.

Speaker 2 (51:40):
Won their way in food and wine festivals happening. Yeah,
while we're there, it's gonna be really, really good.

Speaker 3 (51:48):
This is very cool.

Speaker 2 (51:50):
Email from Drew, says Hoy Hoy Drew, I don't often
feel proud of myself, and I have trouble acknowledging all
the hard work that I do. But I just received
amazing news that I wanted to share. After putting myself
through community college and then a UC, all while working
full time and taking extra prerequisites, I got accepted to

(52:11):
a direct entry Nurse Practitioners school at Northeastern, still waiting.

Speaker 3 (52:15):
To hear back from Yale.

Speaker 9 (52:17):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
I also did all this while getting and staying sober.
I've been listening to The Woodie Show pretty daily since
twenty fifteen, and you guys have been a constant in
my life through breakups, relapses, all of my other ups
and downs. I'm glad to have a show to wake
up to the focuses on the positive and on having
a good time. Love you babes. All in that is
from Drew Drew.

Speaker 3 (52:42):
Right, such a really.

Speaker 2 (52:43):
Nice like hearing nice stories, Lama three when I says
they have an interview today, and I always suck at
those because my nerves get the best of me. Any
advice is appreciated. I mean, you sit there and tell somebody, well.

Speaker 11 (52:55):
Just for that.

Speaker 3 (52:56):
Don't get nervous, dumpy breathe.

Speaker 10 (53:00):
I already can do that thing. Where do you become
a character? That's what Tosh does, Tosh point zero where
because he has like a thing an anxiety being around
people's social anxiety. Yeah, so he just becomes a different person.
So he pretends that he's hired. Yeah, or a lot
of people do that much? Why your tuxedo? Like they
didn't step brothers?

Speaker 9 (53:19):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (53:20):
I don't know about all that, lady.

Speaker 12 (53:21):
There's another thing, like in acting, when you go to audition,
you have to remember that the casting director wants you
to be good.

Speaker 9 (53:27):
They don't want to do this all day.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
They want to.

Speaker 12 (53:29):
Find the perfect person in you, So just remember they
want you to be the right fit. They're not rooting
against you, they're rooting for you.

Speaker 2 (53:35):
If you're too concerned about I would say, if you're
too concerned about being a character or doing something else,
you're gonna suck.

Speaker 9 (53:41):
It's maybe not the right opportunity for you.

Speaker 3 (53:43):
Just answer the questions and if it's if it's going
to work out, it's going to work out. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:46):
If it's a job that you're really interested in, I
think like your interest and your passion will come through. Yeah,
And you can tell him like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm
really nervous. That's fine, Yeah, but hey, I'm really thankful,
thank you for having me really interested to hear about
this job.

Speaker 12 (54:00):
Oh, and have a couple of questions at the end
with like and do you have any questions for us?
And you freeze think of some in advance. What's your
word of advice?

Speaker 2 (54:07):
Like Medice will go on these meetings with salespeople at
the radio station who know nothing about the business they're
pitching advertising to, asking for one hundreds of thousands, and
Menace has this one simple thing and it makes sense.
I mean, we prepare for the show. We know we're
going to do a round of news or guess Who's
guess or whatever it is guest is coming in. We
have some things prepared, So take ten minutes, go online,

(54:31):
find a couple of things about that company, like keep.

Speaker 10 (54:34):
You know, just bullet points about something. It's like the
person you're probably interviewing with has a LinkedIn you could
probably see their work history on there. I'm like, oh, hey,
I noticed that you used to work at this company.

Speaker 3 (54:46):
But that's it.

Speaker 6 (54:47):
Be casual about it.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
Don't be like Chris Farley doing the interviews on SNLIT.
So yeah, you're the regional assistant manager. Yeah, that was awesome.

Speaker 10 (54:58):
This is one meeting I went on, and who is
the worst like this? This person asked who I was with,
asked how much the product cost? Oh god, you're so
you're asking this person for hundreds of thousands of dollars
and you're asking them how much their product costs when
the product is available in a store, right, So you
know you should know that way ahead of time before

(55:21):
you even went in that meets.

Speaker 9 (55:22):
And if you don't, you keep that to yourself.

Speaker 3 (55:24):
Yeah, you're so dumb you asked that. You don't mind.

Speaker 2 (55:27):
This person that Menace is talking about is the same
person who would come to us and go, hey, you
guys ever talk about the.

Speaker 3 (55:30):
News on the do you have any segments you guess ever.

Speaker 6 (55:33):
Mentioned what's happening on the news. So I having another update.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
I have that clip I was mentioning, we were talking
about this that high school track incident in Virginia. They
all clubbed her opponent over the head with the baton
during the relay relay race. So it looks intentional because
it was intentional. Even though the one chick, her name
is Alia, she claims that it wasn't the girl who
was hitting the head, which treated for a concussion possible
skull fracture. Here is that clip I was talking about

(56:02):
where Alia is crying saying she's unfairly suffering because you
know she is the one you know what about my
mental Yeah, like you know.

Speaker 6 (56:15):
Why because bitch, you did it.

Speaker 3 (56:17):
But that's why. Yeah, that that's that's why. On a
connor you whacked her. Yeah, here's the here's the clip.

Speaker 9 (56:22):
After hitting her marble.

Speaker 6 (56:24):
By the way, she's.

Speaker 2 (56:25):
She's doing this interview with the news, and her parents
know she's doing interview with the news, and the friggin smoke.

Speaker 3 (56:31):
Detectors chirping.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
Like come on, man, yeah, can you say, oh hey,
I'm sorry, let me let me go grab that.

Speaker 3 (56:40):
But if you watch the full interview. It goes off
like four times.

Speaker 9 (56:43):
Just become deaf to it.

Speaker 3 (56:44):
Yeah, come on.

Speaker 4 (56:45):
After a couple of hitting her marble time got stuck
behind her back like this and it rolled up her vet.

Speaker 8 (56:52):
I lost my balance and when I put my arms again,
she got hit.

Speaker 18 (56:55):
But I know my intentions and I would never it's
somebody warm purpose.

Speaker 6 (57:00):
Everybody has feelings.

Speaker 14 (57:01):
So you're physically hurt, but you're not thinking of my
mental right.

Speaker 6 (57:07):
They're going off of one angle.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
By the way, we learned earlier that Gina Grad does
not have any fillings.

Speaker 9 (57:14):
No, I have no feelings.

Speaker 3 (57:15):
She's never filling free, she's never had to get a filling, no.

Speaker 2 (57:20):
At the dentist. So to sit there and say I
mean that right, there is a lie.

Speaker 9 (57:23):
Yeah exactly.

Speaker 6 (57:24):
Not everybody has fillings, thank you.

Speaker 12 (57:26):
I have zero fillings, zero filling.

Speaker 3 (57:29):
You're such an anomally and you're such an unfilling person.

Speaker 12 (57:33):
I know I have no fellings. And did you see
somebody texted us in and said this school is sort
of notorious for like bad behavior, and it's called merry View,
but murder View.

Speaker 2 (57:43):
Oh good, good good, oh good, also bad news.

Speaker 3 (57:47):
Guys.

Speaker 2 (57:47):
First it was Ellen DeGeneres and then porsad Rosie and
they moved to England. Right and now another prominent lesbo
has pulled the rip chord on America. You guys, Rosie
O'Donnell has moved to Ireland.

Speaker 3 (57:58):
Oh way me stream, Yeah so jealous.

Speaker 2 (58:02):
She brought her daughter and her service dog with her.
Here's what Rosie says it'll take for her to come
back to America.

Speaker 18 (58:08):
And when you know it is safe for all citizens
to have equal rights there in America, that's when we
will consider coming back such as Rosie.

Speaker 3 (58:22):
So or bless us with your presence.

Speaker 2 (58:25):
So rip to Rosie, godspeed. In the meantime, makee good
news for everybody else who's still here. That just means
that there's more carpet for the rest of us, get
it and food because Rosie won't be here to munch
at all. Getting come back, Rosie.

Speaker 3 (58:41):
We miss you, We need you.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
Eighty four Woodie. You can text us over to two
to nine eight seven, will be right back.

Speaker 3 (58:51):
The Woody Show. Just a valley dumb nice back to
the Woody Show.

Speaker 2 (59:01):
So you know there are people who run around all
day telling me how bad America sucks.

Speaker 3 (59:06):
In fact, I took I took an Uber into the
radio station this morning.

Speaker 9 (59:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
And by the way, the people that you get for
Uber at one in the morning, let me tell you
special breed like people go oh, I can't imagine driving
for Uber and the people you get, Well, how about
if you're a passenger, the Uber.

Speaker 6 (59:24):
Drivers that you get at one thirty in the morning.

Speaker 9 (59:26):
M huh.

Speaker 3 (59:27):
Interesting.

Speaker 2 (59:28):
This guy was a talker and the entire time chewing
my ear off about how bad America sucks. Oh no,
but I'm sitting there, I go, yeah, here a man, Yeah,
here a man.

Speaker 3 (59:40):
I don't want to talk about I do, And they
just ignored it. But for all the people who are
like that guy.

Speaker 2 (59:46):
This Indonesian social media influencer has been sent to jail
for blasphemy after she suggested that Jesus should cut his hair. Okay,
Five Christian groups ended up filing complaints to the police
and she was arrested. She was found guilty of spreading
hate speech against Christianity.

Speaker 9 (01:00:06):
Huh.

Speaker 6 (01:00:06):
And she's been.

Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
Sentenced to two years and ten months in prison and
she's got to pay a fine of around sixty two
hundred bucks.

Speaker 3 (01:00:13):
This was where this is Indonesia.

Speaker 9 (01:00:16):
For suggesting a haircut.

Speaker 3 (01:00:18):
Yeah, Jesus, Jesus get a haircut.

Speaker 9 (01:00:21):
Huh yeah, yeah, And I don't know you.

Speaker 3 (01:00:23):
Know what the context was, don't care, didn't look into that.

Speaker 9 (01:00:25):
I think we're probably doing Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
I realized Indonesia is that hardcore?

Speaker 9 (01:00:28):
Well there, I think it's a isn't it a Muslim Indonesia?

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 19 (01:00:33):
No, I thought I thought the Indonesia is in a
bunch of islands, correct, but I thought the I thought
the Muslim countries were the ones you couldn't say anything
about Muhammad.

Speaker 9 (01:00:43):
Indonesia's eighty seven percent Muslim it is. Yes, see, this.

Speaker 3 (01:00:47):
Is the woman that should have moved to Ireland with rosies.
Oh right, yeah, you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
Know, am I right about that? Is that it's Muslims
right for the prophet Muhammad. Exact the there was like
some newspaper, some guide did a comic or whatever, and
he did some comic and mentioned whatever.

Speaker 12 (01:01:01):
Charlie newspaper and then they like bombed the player, shut
up the newspaper.

Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
Ye yo, everybody, everybody, everybody relaxed, now, yeah, take it easy.

Speaker 3 (01:01:13):
That's scary. Greg.

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
By the way, I keep me in masking. What did
you do with the the birthday? And you mentioned that
you had some confessions.

Speaker 3 (01:01:20):
Yeah, because the actual birthday was incredibly quiet and mellow,
you know, a weekday, and just kind of lide around
and had sushi for dinner, watched some TV, did my
writing and it was just a regular day. So you
on zip for Mario. I did not, because what he's
getting sick as well, he's got a sore throat and
all that. There was zero some of Doctor Greg's two

(01:01:44):
what was I think mistakes were organic?

Speaker 9 (01:01:47):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:01:48):
But the previous weekend was the quote birthday weekend. So
I did two things that I I I'm now regretting.
I sent you guys a couple of photos. Don't look
at him just yet, okay, but I did something that
I think is incredibly old and incredibly gay. Oh and gay,
old and gay antiquing. Again, Medae nailed it in this

(01:02:13):
because that's old and gay. So there's this antique store
that I really like, and they had this window display
for months and months and months, and I was this
is so embarrassing. I was totally obsessed with this one
item they had in the window display. And it's evase. Okay,
I mean, how do you get excited about a vase?
You're either like ninety or you're super gay. And I

(01:02:36):
had seen it for months and I thought, you know what,
if it's there this past weekend, I'm gonna grab it.
So we walked past this antique store and lo and
behold they changed their entire window display was gone. So
I thought, oh crap, Oh well, I guess I'm not
getting that vase. And then I go through into the
store and they had it's made up into all these
little kiosks. And just as I'm about to walk out

(01:02:58):
the door, I see this one shelf and at the
very top you wouldn't even notice it had you not
looked up and craned your neck. I see the vase.
Oh and lo and behold it's thirty dollars off. So
I said, you know what, I think this is a sign.
So I bought it. And it turns out it's made
out of metal. It kind of looks like a bullet.
It's pretty cool. So I said, you know what, happy

(01:03:19):
birthday to me. I bought it, and that was very
old and very gave me. But whatever, that's my confession
about it. It's cool.

Speaker 9 (01:03:27):
Yeah, it is cool. It's kind of gold metallic, yeah, cylindrical.

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
And if you told me, I don't know twenty years ago, Hey,
someday you're going to be excited about bumming a vase.
I would say, you're insane.

Speaker 10 (01:03:39):
So I was expecting to say I slammed like twenty
Medelos and I got drunk.

Speaker 3 (01:03:43):
No in my neighborhood. But no, but vase. I know, embarrassing, right,
That's why this is a confession. I'm being vulnerable and
I instantly regret it, and then okay, so so I
buy the vase. I'm all excited. How stupid is that?
And later that night, after we go out to dinner,
we have a couple of friends with us. We decided

(01:04:05):
that it's going to be a relaxing, mellow night. And
this makes the vase look very hetero. We did, we
all turns washing our faces, and then we put on
these gel masks. So we put all these gel masks,
and then we had this weird like acidy solution that's
supposed to like clean your skin. So then the next

(01:04:25):
photo I sent you here we all are with our stupid.

Speaker 9 (01:04:28):
Mass doing facial.

Speaker 3 (01:04:30):
Yeah, because you know it's like a it's like a
teen girl sleeper.

Speaker 9 (01:04:35):
Yeah, did you make raise Chrispy treats and watch scary movie.

Speaker 3 (01:04:38):
None of the above. We did have a movie on,
but we were doing these face masks and then you
have to you have to keep them on for twenty minutes.
So we're all like inning bats slide off our faces.

Speaker 9 (01:04:47):
Yeah, you look pissed.

Speaker 2 (01:04:49):
It looks like everybody got like a It all looks
like money shots the way they kind of glistened. You
can't really see the guy shot. The guy in the
front here, it looks like he took one.

Speaker 3 (01:04:58):
To the face.

Speaker 9 (01:04:59):
Looks like doughnut.

Speaker 3 (01:05:00):
Right, yeah, exactly. And then yeah, my friend next to
me on the couch there looks like a leather face
from the Texas chains. We all look like mass murderers.

Speaker 8 (01:05:09):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (01:05:09):
So that was my exciting, uh birthday to you.

Speaker 2 (01:05:12):
Old slash sounds good, gay, old time birthday now, amazing
face sounds wild.

Speaker 3 (01:05:18):
I'm glad you had a good birthday, Greg. It was
nice And is it wild for everybody?

Speaker 18 (01:05:22):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:05:22):
Was it wild? No?

Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
Did you like enjoy it?

Speaker 18 (01:05:25):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
Yeah, that's all that matters. Yeah, Yeah, I enjoyed it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:28):
Eight seven seven forty four Wooding. If you want to
call in text us, you can do that too. Over
to two two nine eight So holy crap.

Speaker 3 (01:05:36):
This facility show and.

Speaker 2 (01:05:39):
We are into another new hour in sensitivity training, free
politically correct world. Thank you for being here and give
it us some of your time today. Wooding, Greg you menace. Hi,
there's Gina gret.

Speaker 3 (01:05:52):
Good morning to you. Hello, there's Sammy morning.

Speaker 2 (01:05:57):
Morgan has taken new calls eight seven seven forty four
or Woodie, that's a seven seven forty for Woody so
to say, text over to two two nine eight seven
and uh yeah. So we've talked about pettiness a number
of times. I I do enjoy like a really good
petty story. Yeah, like, yeah, people do. Like we we

(01:06:21):
talked about like the pettiest way you got revenge on
an X, But then I forget what came up. We
were talking about something and just kind of made a
note like, what's the pettiest thing you've done.

Speaker 3 (01:06:31):
We haven't done a last man standing in a while.

Speaker 2 (01:06:34):
So if you've done something very petty that you'd like
to share with it now, you could be anonymous. You
don't got to give us your name because maybe like
you really took a lot of satisfaction in it, but
you're just not necessarily proud of it. Real it was,
but you were so Tom petty. Yeah, so you'll call
in with your story about what you did that was

(01:06:56):
so petty. We'll take another call. We'll decide which one
is the better story than person moves on until we
wrap up the segment based on how much time we need.
But then that person who's left standing at the end
with the best petty story will win a prize of
some time. I'm sure what prize we have that we
can give you. We've got a ton of stuff though,
an of different stuff. I just don't have the list

(01:07:16):
in front of me. Oh but yeah, it'll be life changing.
But so we'll do that in the next segment. So
be thinking about, like, what's something you did that was
just super petty that you can call in and share
for a chance to win a prize. But Sea Bass
was saying that he did something else. Sea Bass is
very petty. But this is I don't even to be fair.
Mine is not Tom Petty, not Richard Petty. It's Kyle Petty's.

(01:07:38):
It's so tiny and so petty, but it's the tiniest
but I do it all the time.

Speaker 5 (01:07:43):
Yeah, So I just I just moved recently, so I
was transferring over my internet service, and I'm on I'm
doing it via chat, which I know you hate medas.

Speaker 10 (01:07:49):
Yeah, it takes you nowhere. They just end up telling
you to They talked to you for like fifteen minutes
and then they tell you to call the phone number.

Speaker 5 (01:07:55):
But luckily, luckily, I was able to get it done,
you know, and I'm there and I says, Okay, what's
your new address and give him the street number all
that stuff, and he goes, what's the city state in
zip code?

Speaker 3 (01:08:06):
And I just give him the zip code because why
why because it's not necessary upright.

Speaker 5 (01:08:13):
Because in the zip code is the city in state.
It's like, get that to him. And he goes, what's
the city? Oh, it's in the zip code. I don't
think he's not getting because he might might not be
from around here. And he go, could you get it
to me?

Speaker 11 (01:08:30):
Days?

Speaker 3 (01:08:30):
Ah, right, you gets right there, it's right in the
zip code. You can look at u him.

Speaker 9 (01:08:32):
Oh my god, he wants to help you. You understand, he.

Speaker 3 (01:08:37):
Doesn't want to help me.

Speaker 2 (01:08:37):
He's doing it for somebody who doesn't like to quote
waste time. Correct, That's the first thing I was staking.

Speaker 5 (01:08:42):
You're on the phone, right okay, I know on the
on the chat number one number two, I am not.
I am wasting a little bit of time now to
save him hours of time in his life. Oh so
once again this is mass being charitable.

Speaker 3 (01:08:56):
Right right, this is okay, you know what, you know what?

Speaker 5 (01:08:58):
What do you'll put it in terms you understand and
oh please down way down if you could put it
like in some kind of condescending tone. Picture when Daniel
release LaRussa, when he was painting that fence and washing
that guitar.

Speaker 3 (01:09:15):
He didn't know what like he was wasting time? Did
he was?

Speaker 5 (01:09:19):
Am I doing these stupid pointless tasks, mister and mister
And what that stupid little boy I didn't understand is
that the wise old mister came mister sea.

Speaker 3 (01:09:33):
Bass the entire time.

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
If you listen to it a little bit differently, I
think mister Migi was just being dirty.

Speaker 3 (01:09:38):
Oh all in the least.

Speaker 5 (01:09:43):
Stop down and he restored into the stop.

Speaker 3 (01:09:50):
Yeah long right, nose out of the mouth. Me, I
like that is he wrong?

Speaker 5 (01:10:11):
Wrong?

Speaker 18 (01:10:16):
Come by, may good.

Speaker 3 (01:10:21):
Forget, don't forget to breathe my pettiness.

Speaker 5 (01:10:25):
It's not about revenge per se, but it's about teaching
and not and not giving.

Speaker 3 (01:10:30):
So you sacrifice the time that you would normally like
to save to be a teacher. Your mother Teresa. So
here's a tech question. Are those chat things real humans?

Speaker 5 (01:10:42):
Depends on what you're doing, Okay, Like at first, they're
probably not okay. Seven and four says everything mass does
is exhausting. Yeah, that's what Daniel Russa thought when he
was waxing cars and risting that fence, risk up and down, long.

Speaker 3 (01:10:56):
Strokes, gripping it hard and risking it.

Speaker 5 (01:10:58):
It takes a wiser elevator person to know the true lesson.
Uh huh, sure, Greg Gory.

Speaker 3 (01:11:04):
I make fun of SeaBASS for that example, but I
kind of relate to it, yes, because you know how
some things are like a bigger life lesson. And as
you guys know, and I've told this before, and I
said I would stop doing it, but I can't break
the habit. I'm still doing it. When I leave for
work for the day and somebody's circling slowly on Level

(01:11:25):
one waiting for somebody to leave. When there's four hundred
and ninety three thousand spots of oh yeah, eight feet away,
you can see an entire empty row. It might make
them have to walk twenty extra feet to get from
their car. But I'm just gonna circle and circle. So
the other day, I go down and I'm going to
get into my truck to leave for the day, and
I see somebody circling that very top level of the

(01:11:47):
parking lot, and I pretended that I got a phone
call because I'm thought, you know what, there's an empty
spot eighteen feet away. Just go park there. You're wasting
all this time circling and circling to do what ultimately
save yourself from taking fifteen extra steps. So I pretended
to be on the phone call, waited until they gave up.
They went down to level two. Then I went too much, Yeah,

(01:12:11):
and I let them go to level two. I'm such
an a hole for doing that, but I thought, come on,
the garage is not full. You can park right there
instead of park right.

Speaker 2 (01:12:21):
Second reminds me I do have a petty story as well,
same kind of thing, parking lot situation. And you know,
I don't understand when Okay, let's say you're driving down
one of the aisles of the parking lot, right the
one of the and you see somebody backing out like
they haven't backed out yet.

Speaker 3 (01:12:41):
Okay, maybe you go by.

Speaker 5 (01:12:43):
Why do people when the car's halfway out still just
drive around them?

Speaker 8 (01:12:47):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (01:12:47):
I hate But the person's.

Speaker 6 (01:12:48):
Backing out of the spot to leave, Like, let them
back out.

Speaker 9 (01:12:50):
You see what they're doing, and.

Speaker 2 (01:12:51):
You're supposed to yield to that person whose car is
halfway out right.

Speaker 5 (01:12:55):
The reason they're backing out is they can't see you yet.
Let them finish what they're doing.

Speaker 6 (01:12:59):
Exactly right, and you almost hit them. All of a sudden,
your car.

Speaker 9 (01:13:02):
Goes his own break.

Speaker 3 (01:13:04):
Yeah. Just sounded like a.

Speaker 2 (01:13:06):
Terri every in America, like people are doing that.

Speaker 3 (01:13:12):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:13:13):
I find that's happening a lot more anyway. So I'm
walking to my car. I see a car, this guy
in a truck doing that person's a halfway on the spot.
He drives around him. Now he sees that I'm getting
in my car, and he likes my spot. Oh so
I'm like, ugh, So I got my car. I put
it in reverse.

Speaker 9 (01:13:32):
Oh so the lights are on.

Speaker 2 (01:13:33):
Yeah, but hold on, it gets better. I put it
in reverse. I backed out about halfway or so, and
then just straightened out and pulled right back in.

Speaker 3 (01:13:42):
As if you had just arrived.

Speaker 2 (01:13:43):
Yeah, he saw me walk out, like, walking to my car.
I had the bag in my hand.

Speaker 3 (01:13:49):
Oh my god, I just backed out.

Speaker 2 (01:13:52):
Straightened up, pulled back in, got back out of my car,
and then stood there and waited for him to pass by.
Now and in the process that person that he had
just gone around to get to my spot, that spot
was already taken by the person behind them.

Speaker 3 (01:14:04):
Yeah, so yeah, dick along those lines. Though, If you're
at a public place like a grocery store parking lot, and
you're waiting because somebody sees somebody pulling out, there's an
empty spot six spots away, they'll wait all they can't wait.
Come watch that far go to the next one.

Speaker 2 (01:14:21):
I say that as somebody who's never done it. No,
I've done that. I go, and then I'm sitting there
for a while.

Speaker 3 (01:14:26):
I go, why am I? Way? Are you waiting? This
is dumb right there?

Speaker 2 (01:14:29):
Why do I keep circling to try to find somebody?

Speaker 3 (01:14:31):
There's a ton of spots. Just walk over here an
extra five.

Speaker 12 (01:14:35):
You know what makes you guys so good at being petty?
Apparently you're not afraid of the possible confrontation that could
come out of it. I think that keeps me from
being petty a lot, because if I did what you did,
I'd be afraid that the guy would get out of
his card and yell at me.

Speaker 2 (01:14:47):
I would say, hey, somebody told me I was part
too close to the other guy, and I'm not getting
my car dang, so I'm not leaving. Yeah, sorry, man,
you can lie to them. You don't know them, you
don't owe them.

Speaker 3 (01:14:56):
Anything downstairs to repark.

Speaker 2 (01:15:00):
A small petty thing that I do is on airplanes
where the people in the back of the airplane once
we land, they try to, like, you know, go all
the way to the front. Oh yeah, yeah. So what
I do is I stand up so they can't walk.

Speaker 3 (01:15:16):
I support that, Oh yeah, fully support that. Is there
being Dick's I know, and they're just trying to push
it a way through while people are trying to.

Speaker 5 (01:15:23):
Which all which all all that does is clogs up
different areas because now there's extra people that don't belong there.

Speaker 3 (01:15:27):
What other people are trying to exit into the aisle.

Speaker 2 (01:15:29):
Yeah, so I always stand, all right, so this person
can't call in for our last man standing. What's the
pettiest thing you've done? This is pretty good nine five.
But I divorced my ex. I had to live in
the same house with him for about thirty days while
I found an apartment. In that time, he purchased all
these expensive shampoos. He had brand new toothpaste and whatever.

(01:15:50):
And I would shower, I would dump some of the
shampoo down the drain woh, and I would do the
same with the toothpaste. We also quickly separated finance. He
was paying all the bills on the house that he
was going to remain living in, so I would turn
the water faucets on and walk away and just let
the water waste. Sorry, Greg, just just to raise the bill.

Speaker 3 (01:16:12):
What did he do to deserve having his money wasted?

Speaker 6 (01:16:15):
I know, but it satisfied me in ways that he
never did.

Speaker 3 (01:16:19):
That's funny. The women's was my favorite.

Speaker 12 (01:16:28):
Divorce petty one is when the guy had to pay
alimony and got brand new checks that were his wedding
pictures with his new wife.

Speaker 2 (01:16:35):
And that's that's funny. Also my uh my mom and
dad when they got divorced. Uh So, I guess my
grandma set it all up where she moved my mom
out of the apartment that they had together while he
was at work one day. So when he came home,
everything was gone. The only thing that was left was

(01:16:56):
one chair in the living room. Yep, one chair in
the living room, and then in the kitchen like a
little round table with one plate, one knife, one fork,
one cup, one spoon, and that was it.

Speaker 3 (01:17:13):
Oh, in the chair, it's all he needs.

Speaker 6 (01:17:15):
Yeah, that was it.

Speaker 3 (01:17:16):
Save Wow, he didn't have Yeah movers and then yeah,
I got one thing to wash.

Speaker 9 (01:17:23):
Everybody wins.

Speaker 6 (01:17:24):
Yeah, all right, So we'll open up the phones.

Speaker 2 (01:17:26):
Eight seven seven forty four, Woody, that's eight seven seven
forty four, Woody. You're gonna call in and tell us
what's the pettiest thing you've done? And we'll hear your
story out. Then we're gonna take the next call. We'll
all decide here in the room, which one is the
better story of the two. That person will move on.
You want to be the person who's left at the end,
still standing when we run out of time for the segment,

(01:17:48):
and that person's going to get a prize.

Speaker 5 (01:17:50):
Nice.

Speaker 2 (01:17:51):
I again, I don't know exactly what the prize is
going to be, but we'll give you something. What's the
pettiest thing you've done? Eight seven seven forty four, Woody
Morgan and Samuel gets you set up on the phones
right now. That's eight seven seven forty four, woody.

Speaker 6 (01:18:02):
We love him, but he's a monster. We don't care
what he looks like.

Speaker 3 (01:18:06):
This is the witty show, all right. So we got people.

Speaker 6 (01:18:11):
Lined up on the phones.

Speaker 2 (01:18:12):
What's the pettiest thing you've done? Last man standing? Tell
us what you did. We'll hear the call after yours
decide which one moves on. Whoever's left at the end
will win a prize. Eight seven seven forty four, woody.
That's eight seven seven forty four, woody. And let's say

(01:18:32):
let's go to the phones and get started here. First,
one up, let's go to uh, let's see how about Jonathan.

Speaker 6 (01:18:43):
Hey, good morning, Jonathan.

Speaker 3 (01:18:44):
How are you?

Speaker 13 (01:18:46):
Yeah, how are you doing?

Speaker 6 (01:18:46):
We're doing great?

Speaker 8 (01:18:47):
All right?

Speaker 6 (01:18:47):
So what's the pettiest thing you've done?

Speaker 13 (01:18:50):
So back in two thousand and six, my cousin he
wanted a PlayStation three for Christmas, so bad, and so
my d from them. But that thing was like, I mean,
seven eight hundred dollars at the time, and so that's
all he got. And his little brother and sister both
got a bunch of little things, you know, a lot

(01:19:13):
more gifts but they were just more smaller items. And
so he kept complaining and complaining and your planning and
got on my nerves. And so what I did was
when I went and showered at Pete in his shampoo.

Speaker 2 (01:19:25):
It's a classic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that. That's a classic.

Speaker 3 (01:19:30):
All right.

Speaker 2 (01:19:30):
Yeah, there's the other one back in the day. I'm
not sure anybody does it. Is there still a thing?
Oh yeah yeah.

Speaker 9 (01:19:37):
Yeah remember yeah, the chemical like hair removal.

Speaker 2 (01:19:42):
Yeah, Like there were people that would say, oh, I
would put an air in somebody's shampoo bottle.

Speaker 3 (01:19:48):
Yeah, that's just wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:19:49):
Pan's bad though, all right, Jonathan, hang on one second.
Let's go to Anonymous. Good Morgan, Anonymous show Anonymous. All right,
so what's the what's the pettiest thing you've done?

Speaker 7 (01:20:00):
Okay, So I I regret it, and it's stupid, and
I remained anonymous because I've since learned that it might
be illegal. But I took the page out of I
took a page out of MENACE's book, and after getting
into like a Facebook argument with people, I just wanted
them to know that they weren't anonymous. So I looked up,

(01:20:22):
you know, their name and their hometown and easily found
where they lived and just posted a picture of their house.
If I couldn't find that information, I looked up like
where their wife worked and just said like, oh, hey,
should I check out blah blah blah. I heard they
have like a great accounting department, knowing their lives worked
in the accounting department.

Speaker 2 (01:20:39):
But you posted this online like menace will like email
it to them directly? Yeah, well necessarily post I think, yeah, yeah,
you get I did not.

Speaker 7 (01:20:49):
Know about and I've learned about.

Speaker 2 (01:20:52):
All right, Well let's see who who do you want
to go with? Peeing in the shampoo bottle? It's pretty obvious,
or you know, setting people the picture of their house
and also letting them know with.

Speaker 9 (01:21:03):
Like terms of petty.

Speaker 12 (01:21:06):
That's that's pretty good.

Speaker 9 (01:21:09):
I think the peing in the.

Speaker 5 (01:21:10):
It's what's organic, it's well, it's also like fifth grade stuff,
and they have no idea that it had Number one,
that had happened number two.

Speaker 3 (01:21:17):
Why, it's fully ineffective as far if you would have
followed up, I guess and you would have told them, hey,
how'd your shower go? Why? Yeah, that's because you're being
ungrateful about your Christmas.

Speaker 2 (01:21:30):
Present, so you take that all right, Anonymous, Hang on
one second, you are moving on, Jonathan, Thank you so
much for the call. Appreciate you listening to the WOODI Show.
Let's go to Kathy. Hey, good morning, Kathy.

Speaker 8 (01:21:42):
Hey, good morning. I love you.

Speaker 1 (01:21:44):
Greg.

Speaker 8 (01:21:44):
I'm the one that texts about my husband in the
face mask too.

Speaker 2 (01:21:48):
Oh okay, okay, So what uh? What's your petty story?
What's the pettiest thing you've done?

Speaker 3 (01:21:53):
Well?

Speaker 8 (01:21:54):
While I was pregnant with my daughter two years into
my marriage, I told my doesn't say that anything ever
happened in the relationships now, and I'll forget any If
you cheese on me or anything, I will forget it now.
And was going to start new because we can have
his family right. Gave him many cancers, gave him any chances. Well,
I found out six weeks after my daughter was born
by setting him up on her fake y'allhoo, messed in

(01:22:14):
your account but being another girl, and he admitted to
me everything, and he came home from work and saw
it and walk Well. I didn't know what to do.
I was I didn't want to single mother at six months,
you know, six weeks old, So to punish him and
need to get up until I was over it. The
first thing I did was he was taking a shower
and I gave him a nice ice bath right over

(01:22:35):
the top of his head. And then we had next
mattress for a crib that somebody gave us, and it
was just on the floor in my daughter's room and
we were going to keep it.

Speaker 16 (01:22:44):
Well.

Speaker 8 (01:22:45):
He had to sleep on that mattress for about six
weeks in her room with her.

Speaker 3 (01:22:52):
How she said. And he's six foot four, she said,
until I was over it.

Speaker 9 (01:22:56):
Yeah, she'll let you know when she's out.

Speaker 5 (01:22:58):
She'd definitely be sleeping next to newborn. Oh wait, yeah,
when you're six four all right, So whose petty story
do you like the best? Are we sending pictures to
the houses or we're making the doctor the doctor?

Speaker 14 (01:23:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:23:11):
I mean I kind of like the idea, Like the
guy he knows he messed up, so he's not going
to fight.

Speaker 3 (01:23:15):
Her on doing it.

Speaker 5 (01:23:16):
True, but you know, sleeping on the on a baby mattress.
I want to hear more of her stories because I
think they're awesome.

Speaker 3 (01:23:22):
That she definitely has more.

Speaker 9 (01:23:25):
Yeah, and also I don't think she's that petty. Whatriter
that's my alarm going on?

Speaker 5 (01:23:32):
Sorry, hold, she's knocking one out, but take your methadonia.

Speaker 3 (01:23:39):
All right, So who's moving on?

Speaker 11 (01:23:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:23:42):
I like as much as I love Kat.

Speaker 2 (01:23:45):
All right, Kathy, thank you for the show. Let's go
to Greg Hey. Good morning, Greg, Good morning.

Speaker 3 (01:23:54):
Done.

Speaker 11 (01:23:54):
Years ago, years ago, I bought a house in East
Vale and we all had r V sore backyards and parking,
and I spent more money to buy a corner house
so I didn't have to deal with another neighbor. Come
out one morning and the neighbor across the street has
parked his motor home beside my house. Yeah, hardcore pettiness.

(01:24:18):
I go across the street confronted, say, why are you
parking motor from my house? It's supposed to be beside
your house, behind your gate. It's a public street. I
can work anywhere I want, So I immediately go pull
my motor home out of my backyard and park it
directly in front of his house.

Speaker 6 (01:24:38):
I like that. What did the neighbors say?

Speaker 13 (01:24:42):
Uh?

Speaker 11 (01:24:42):
He never said a word. When I finally moved it,
he moved his motor home back in front of his home.
He got the message, all right, well that.

Speaker 3 (01:24:53):
Marking issues are always petty. Just apparently yeah, all right, Greg,
hold on, don't go anywhere.

Speaker 2 (01:25:02):
I appreciate it. Hey, Anonymous, great story. Appreciate Listen to
Woody Show.

Speaker 3 (01:25:05):
Thank you.

Speaker 10 (01:25:07):
I told you my neighborhood, like probably like a mile away,
somebody has a gigantic boat parked on the street and
they move it all the time, like from one side
to the other. How does the neighborhood even deal with that?
Let's go talk almost like a mini yacht. Yeah, let's
go to Tara.

Speaker 2 (01:25:23):
Hey, good morning, Tara, Tara, can you hear me?

Speaker 8 (01:25:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:25:28):
All right, So what's the pettiest thing you've done?

Speaker 1 (01:25:32):
So?

Speaker 20 (01:25:32):
I was a restaurant manager at a nice restaurant in Dallas,
and I had a woman who was yelling at my
hostess and really upset because we couldn't get her the
reservation she wanted and telling us, you know, you don't
know who I am, and told it's her name, and
and then and then told me she was going to
go eat at another restaurant in town and she would
go spend her money there. So when she left, I

(01:25:54):
called that restaurant and canceled her reservation.

Speaker 3 (01:26:00):
So much like that, Queen, that's awesome.

Speaker 2 (01:26:08):
I like that one. Are we for I like it good,
all right, Tarah, don't go anywhere. Hang on one second. Yeah,
that's awesome. Hey, Greg, great story man, appreciate listen to
what do you show? Have yourself an awesome day?

Speaker 11 (01:26:20):
Well done, Greg, All right, thank you very much.

Speaker 3 (01:26:23):
You can enjoy your RV. Yeah, and all the neighbors
RV yeah, hands all.

Speaker 12 (01:26:28):
The other reservation because she's sticking up for her crew
and I love that.

Speaker 3 (01:26:33):
And it's in the same realm.

Speaker 2 (01:26:34):
Yeah, let's go to Travis. Travis, good morning, Hey, how's
it going.

Speaker 3 (01:26:39):
What's up?

Speaker 6 (01:26:39):
What's the pettiest thing you've done?

Speaker 11 (01:26:42):
So this is in regards to my ex girlfriend, the
mother of my kids. She abruptly ended things with me
and changed the door locks. And so I still pay
for Wi Fi and I have the ability to disconnect
access to individual devices.

Speaker 2 (01:26:59):
Oh yeah, yeah, so I do that with my kids sometimes.

Speaker 11 (01:27:04):
Yeah. So I also suspect pretty certain that she does
adult video activities for financial compensation gifts while my kids
are home. Yes, she should something something like that, but
while my kids are home. And she also lied on
the financial disclosure for the custody paperwork, So here and there,
I will turn off her Wi Fi access to her

(01:27:27):
phone and her laptop and her work laptop intermittently.

Speaker 9 (01:27:31):
Fine, I like that.

Speaker 3 (01:27:33):
Well, then the customers just aren't getting what they paid nothing. Yeah,
who storey like pretty much?

Speaker 9 (01:27:39):
Well I do like that, but I just taras my girl.

Speaker 3 (01:27:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:27:43):
Yeah, I like Tara's so far. Yeah, I mean I
like that, Travis.

Speaker 6 (01:27:46):
That's a good one.

Speaker 3 (01:27:47):
Very small. If I have to pick between the two,
it's more serious of an issue though, like it's more
rooted and anger. I like the restaurant one. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:27:54):
All right, thanks for the call, Travis, appreciate it. Let's
go to Karina. Good morning, Karina, good morning, Good morning.
All right, So what's the pettiest thing you've done?

Speaker 11 (01:28:05):
So?

Speaker 21 (01:28:05):
I used to have a micromanager boss, and there was
a meeting location that had been changed to day prior.

Speaker 3 (01:28:11):
I knew about it.

Speaker 21 (01:28:12):
I figured she did too, So I went to the
meeting as I should have done, and I did, And
then she was texting me, not knowing like why nobody
was there.

Speaker 20 (01:28:21):
But I waited like.

Speaker 21 (01:28:22):
At least two three minutes to response back to her
because I knew she was at the wrong location. So
I just let her have it, and I just let
her go to the wrong place.

Speaker 9 (01:28:29):
I Oh, that is fun. I like that a micromana.

Speaker 3 (01:28:34):
They should know the change of address. I like that
one a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:28:42):
We dealt with a lot of micro managers, so we
can relate.

Speaker 6 (01:28:45):
Yeah, that's created. Give me a favor.

Speaker 2 (01:28:47):
Hang on one second, because I like I like that
story a lot, and I also like the terror story
canceling the rude customers reservation at the restaurant. Let's hold
those two, okay, and then uh, let's let the listeners
to say on the text. So we'll open it up
and then now you guys will vote, and then we'll
tell you after the break which one is the winner
for this round of last man standing pettiest thing you've done.

(01:29:08):
We want you to text the number one, just the
number one over to two to ninety seven for the
story Tara told about canceling the rude customer's reservation at
the other restaurant, So text one over to two to
ninety seven for that. Or if you think that Karina,
the one we just heard should win, purposely didn't tell
her boss that she was going to the wrong location
for a meeting, text the number two over to two

(01:29:30):
to ninety seven. So one for Tara canceling the reservation
two for Karina not telling her boss about the new
meeting location. Over to two to ninety seven. We'll take
the break and I'll tell you who wins. Coming up
next year on the Woody Show.

Speaker 4 (01:29:42):
Hang on, are you all in the Woody Show?

Speaker 13 (01:29:54):
This is the Showy good morning.

Speaker 2 (01:29:57):
I will reveal who won the text for this roundup
last man standing, What's the pettiest thing You've done?

Speaker 6 (01:30:03):
TEXTA came in five one five.

Speaker 2 (01:30:05):
I sold a house and the people were just complaining
about every little thing, so I was pissed.

Speaker 3 (01:30:11):
Part of the.

Speaker 2 (01:30:11):
Deal was a brand new shed still in the box
in the backyard, so I pulled what appeared to be
vital pieces out.

Speaker 6 (01:30:20):
Of the box on my way off the property so.

Speaker 3 (01:30:22):
It would be useless. Love, I love it. They don't
need this screw all right.

Speaker 2 (01:30:33):
So the votes are in and uh, we have Karina
who purposely didn't tell her boss that she was going
to the wrong location for a meeting. So the boss like,
I ate a micromander, I guess, uh, showed up at
the wrong place and you known was just enjoying that
little piece of satisfaction. And then Tara, who canceled a

(01:30:54):
rude customer's reservation. She's a manager at a restaurant, was
a manager at the time at a restaurant. Person is
complaining saying, well, I'm going over here, I'm gonna give
them my business instead business. So Tara called the other
place and cancel that woman's reservation.

Speaker 12 (01:31:08):
The only thing that suck about that is she now
that poor restaurant has to deal with her. But that
also means it's the height of petty. It's the definition
of what we're talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:31:17):
Absolutely, And it was an overwhelming vote. Ladies and gentlemen,
you're winner of this round of last man standing.

Speaker 3 (01:31:25):
Is Tara canceled.

Speaker 2 (01:31:29):
The customer's reservation. Did you ever hear anything else from
that customer?

Speaker 7 (01:31:32):
Ever?

Speaker 11 (01:31:32):
Again, I did not.

Speaker 2 (01:31:36):
Yeah, well, hey, you know what, and and who knows
if she even ate over there, because if they canceled
the reservation, maybe they gave that table away to somebody else.

Speaker 9 (01:31:43):
You know, I had a whopper that night, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:31:46):
A wopper. All right, Tarah, hang on one second, we'll
get all of your information. And Karina, thank you so
much for calling in and uh, you know, sharing your
story with us.

Speaker 3 (01:31:55):
We appreciate you listening to the Woodies show. All right,
thank you next morning.

Speaker 2 (01:32:02):
I don't know what creature you're welcome all right, all right, sorry,
there we go.

Speaker 3 (01:32:11):
Had other things.

Speaker 2 (01:32:12):
Yeah, anyway, thank you for recalls, thank you for text everybody.
More Woody show coming up.

Speaker 18 (01:32:19):
This.

Speaker 5 (01:32:20):
Show.

Speaker 6 (01:32:21):
I'm welcome back everybody.

Speaker 3 (01:32:23):
Yeah, it's midweek.

Speaker 2 (01:32:24):
It's Wednesday morning, March twelfth. Today is a National Big
Scallops Day. Okay, wow, I'm not gonna have that.

Speaker 3 (01:32:33):
I love them, no good.

Speaker 2 (01:32:35):
I think scallops are so overrated. I don't hate them.

Speaker 3 (01:32:38):
Who's rating them? What do you mean?

Speaker 6 (01:32:39):
Who's rating them?

Speaker 8 (01:32:40):
To begin?

Speaker 2 (01:32:41):
You know, because people always say, like a scout, they go,
oh you know why? I think because like Hell's Kitchen,
like it's like that, yeah, scullips on the scullups have
ben you donky?

Speaker 6 (01:32:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:32:56):
So I think that kind of like heightened everybody's away,
like when Hell's Kitchen was like a halful of years
ago and then Beef Wellington.

Speaker 9 (01:33:02):
Was in the everything.

Speaker 3 (01:33:04):
Yeah yeah, anyway, what are you an idiot?

Speaker 9 (01:33:07):
Sandwich looks like a dog's did that.

Speaker 3 (01:33:11):
I do love them, but they're kind of just mild and.

Speaker 2 (01:33:13):
Well, as long as they're not rubbery, chewy, rubbery and
chew and then the other one because the bacon wrap scalps.
I mean not sorry, Sammy, you don't know like bacon,
but yeah, you know what. You know what ended the
scalps for me is I was at a place and
they had scalps in one of those like you know,
those buffet tree things, and I and the little toothpicks,
and so I grabbed one. I chewed it and it
was like crunch sand it out and I go, why

(01:33:37):
is this crunch? They go, oh, yeah, sometimes scalps have
sand in them. I'm like, nope, and so not a fan.
It's National Girl Scout Day. Oh hell yeah, we'll eat
their cookies.

Speaker 3 (01:33:48):
Yeah for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:33:49):
Although yeah, it was last call outside the grocery stores
this past weekend. Said yeah, I said, last day. Oh damn, yes,
thank god. It's a national no smoking day. It's world clock,
so I'm sure there's gonna be a lot of people
with glaucoma rushing to the medical marijuana.

Speaker 9 (01:34:03):
Facility smoking your un smoke medisine.

Speaker 6 (01:34:06):
And it's also National Working Mom's Day.

Speaker 2 (01:34:09):
Sea Baz Shout out to working moms. Shout out to
working moms. Phones are open eight seven seven forty four.
Woody text over to two two nine eight seven. Got
the birthday's port of Birthday coming up here in a minute.
But menace, He's got what's happening in the world of
entertainment for us this morning?

Speaker 10 (01:34:25):
Well, Ben Affleck was doing something with his son that
I absolutely love, and it's sneaker shopping. They're recently at
a sneaker convention looking at these d or nikes that
go for about six thousand dollars. Yes, yeah, And do
they make them in men's Yeah, well, it depends on
the price, so you might you might look them up
and you're saying, well, some of them are a thousand,

(01:34:46):
some of them are six thousand.

Speaker 2 (01:34:47):
It depends on your size anyways.

Speaker 3 (01:34:49):
But size one.

Speaker 6 (01:34:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (01:34:51):
But the video of them shopping goes viral and the
internet wants to know did they buy these shoes? Ben
Affleck was at south By Southwest and Access Hollywood actually
asked him did he buy the shoes?

Speaker 3 (01:35:04):
Actually?

Speaker 2 (01:35:05):
Did they actually? Did? Ar Let's listen in here.

Speaker 9 (01:35:09):
Did your son start mowing the lawn for those.

Speaker 22 (01:35:11):
Sneakers tell they have to mow the lawn. All of
a sudden, they don't want those shoes, and they're like,
are He was like, but I is always some grift.

Speaker 3 (01:35:19):
Do I need to be?

Speaker 18 (01:35:20):
Like?

Speaker 3 (01:35:21):
Who?

Speaker 6 (01:35:21):
You do not need thousand dollars shoes? He's like, we
have the one. I have the money.

Speaker 9 (01:35:25):
You're bro. I love that answer.

Speaker 3 (01:35:28):
It's so true what you been saying. I don't even
know what he said. What do you well? He said,
if you want these shoes, you're gonna have to start
mowing lawns, and the kids all of a sudden doesn't
want them anymore. Okay, And then I have the money.
Yeah you don't, you're not. I'm can I have can?
I have a little bit of information?

Speaker 2 (01:35:43):
I don't know if you know this minutes the woman
that was asking the question from the entertainment sh is
she a woman of color? I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:35:51):
They don't show r and king.

Speaker 2 (01:35:52):
Okay, I heard of this new term basically where like say,
it's like a black person asking a white person a question,
answer the question differently. All of a sudden, they'll start
putting on like a like a like an extra like
a voice, you know, like.

Speaker 3 (01:36:05):
Oh man, I mean you want of these shoes.

Speaker 6 (01:36:07):
I'm not giving you no.

Speaker 3 (01:36:08):
Shoes, like it's something put some stack on it.

Speaker 6 (01:36:11):
Yeah, I I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:36:12):
There's a term term for it?

Speaker 9 (01:36:14):
Is it code switching?

Speaker 3 (01:36:15):
Code switching? Yeah, that's new, that's old. Yeah, i'd never
heard it before. It's new to me. Sorry to see
you basked gold start the show before.

Speaker 9 (01:36:24):
Didn't you sound start mowing along for those sneakers.

Speaker 22 (01:36:27):
Tell them they have to mow lawn. All of a sudden,
they don't want those shoes, and they're like, he was like.

Speaker 3 (01:36:32):
But damn dog, I want them shoes.

Speaker 22 (01:36:35):
Is always some grift.

Speaker 6 (01:36:36):
Well, I need to be like when you do not
need a thousand dollars shoes, it's like we have the one.
I have the money here, Bro.

Speaker 3 (01:36:43):
You know what I'm saying, I speak job interesting.

Speaker 14 (01:36:46):
I think his accent kind of makes him sound like
that a little bit too already though he was extra animated.

Speaker 3 (01:36:52):
Yeah, yeah, I don't. I'm not buying.

Speaker 14 (01:36:54):
I mean the fact that he said bro was weird.

Speaker 3 (01:36:58):
That was that was a newer term to me. But
I'm not I'm not cool in him all right.

Speaker 10 (01:37:02):
Well, I was the whole reason I brought it up,
because he was saying like, I'm the one that's rich.

Speaker 3 (01:37:07):
You're not the one.

Speaker 2 (01:37:08):
Oh yeah, yeah for sure. Yeah, Well you brought up
on the show before yeah, like a lot of a
lot of people say that because their kids like, well,
it's only like ye know, but that's my money, that's
not you have nothing. I have money, You don't have money.

Speaker 3 (01:37:20):
Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 10 (01:37:21):
Well moving on to Neo. Have you been hearing about
what's going on Neo the singer. If you don't know
who he is, here's a clip from one of his songs.

Speaker 3 (01:37:28):
All right, okay, here's a she got.

Speaker 2 (01:37:34):
Yeah, misindependent, I like how you recorded it off?

Speaker 3 (01:37:44):
Hold has heard of the CBS.

Speaker 2 (01:37:49):
Yeah, yeah, I heard something about him, but he was
got like, uh yeah, so he has four living girlfriends
Yeah yeah, like sisters pretty much.

Speaker 10 (01:38:00):
And it started being talked about a lot because he
did an interview with the Ricky Smiley Morning Show and
this is what he had to say about it.

Speaker 2 (01:38:08):
All right, So yeah, here's Neo and his four girlfriends.

Speaker 4 (01:38:12):
Honesty again, I'm not lying to nobody, not even my children. Hey,
this is this is daddy's girlfriend, and so is that,
and so is that, and so is that.

Speaker 3 (01:38:19):
I ain't manipulating nobody. I ain't brainwashed.

Speaker 2 (01:38:21):
Hey is that Ben Affleck asking about his kids?

Speaker 18 (01:38:26):
That?

Speaker 3 (01:38:26):
And so it ain't manipulating nobody.

Speaker 4 (01:38:28):
I ain't brainwashed, Nobody, ain't lying nobody Again, I said,
I set it out there. Here's what it is. I
like you, but I also like her and he and her.
She's gonna make you some cereal, and she gonna cook lunch,
and she gonna wash clothes.

Speaker 3 (01:38:45):
Community.

Speaker 2 (01:38:46):
Yeah, community, Sammy, you're all about community. Damn.

Speaker 9 (01:38:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:38:51):
Yeah, you want to join his fuck.

Speaker 9 (01:38:53):
She loves I'm okay.

Speaker 14 (01:38:55):
He's more of a generational in one house, not all
the same generation dating the same person.

Speaker 2 (01:39:00):
So he's got he's got four chicks and they all
have fun nicknames. One is pretty Baby, twin Flame, Phoenix,
feather sure, and sexy Little something.

Speaker 3 (01:39:13):
Hell yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:39:13):
And then he advised his followers to quote say something
nice or move on with your life.

Speaker 3 (01:39:18):
We happy over here.

Speaker 6 (01:39:20):
And then and the very.

Speaker 2 (01:39:21):
First comment after that was quote girls with low self esteem?

Speaker 3 (01:39:25):
Yeah, so what I mean?

Speaker 6 (01:39:28):
They're having a good They look super class.

Speaker 3 (01:39:29):
Ye I got a picture of me here. They looked.
So he could probably ditch half of these girlfriends. Yeah nice.

Speaker 10 (01:39:36):
Okay, Well how about this. Have you ever dreamed about
working for Gene Simmons?

Speaker 3 (01:39:41):
I dream of that? Yeah? Have you never never kiss?

Speaker 11 (01:39:45):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:39:45):
I dream of Gene Okay, Well check this out. You
can pay him twelve thousand dollars to work for him
for one day to be a roadie.

Speaker 9 (01:39:53):
You can pay him.

Speaker 10 (01:39:54):
Yeah, this is so Kiss, so totally this is what happens.
So you get to Hell, set up to soundcheck, and
have lunch with Gene. Also, you get the bass guitar
that's used into sound checks, so that's pretty good. At last,
you get something, and you can bring four items for
him to sign. Okay, and it's only twelve thousand dollars.

Speaker 23 (01:40:17):
Again, this is a true story. Kiss was the first
band to ever face the audience, getting every other band
that's been after them it has been a copy off
of Kiss.

Speaker 9 (01:40:27):
Yeh.

Speaker 23 (01:40:27):
Kiss also was the first ban to have the employees
pay us. We don't pay employees, The employees pay us
right here. Yeah, but that's pretty sad, that's pathetic.

Speaker 2 (01:40:42):
But it's open. So if we'd like to go and
imply do it. Well the Kiss Yeah, the Kiss Army.
Oh yeah, those people.

Speaker 9 (01:40:49):
Are I've been to many Kiss concepts when I was
at high school and college. Why I don't know. My
brother was in him. I do whatever he did.

Speaker 2 (01:40:56):
Okay, Well, Tony moving on to Tony Hitchcliffe, who we
are a fan of. He is from kill Tony. Also,
you don't know who he is. He's the guy that
was making the jokes about Puerto Rico during the election
the JP Yeah might have gotten over very well with
a certain audience. Anyways, So he just signed a deal

(01:41:18):
with Netflix for a three He just signed a three
special deal with Netflix. Their first special be taped at
the Comedy Mothership on April seventh. Okay, Androgan's place, right, yes, yes.

Speaker 9 (01:41:34):
Yeah, because he's a Texas guy, he Tony Yeah yeah,
now yeah, but so is Joe Rogan. Now yeah yeah now,
but that's what I'm saying. They're all there now.

Speaker 3 (01:41:47):
He has a joke.

Speaker 2 (01:41:48):
That's so funny about moving to Texas. I don't know
if I could say, try.

Speaker 3 (01:41:51):
It, try it, try it.

Speaker 16 (01:41:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:41:52):
The worst the worst thing that will happen is we
have to bleep you out.

Speaker 2 (01:41:55):
Okay, So he has a joke about, oh, I just
moved to Texas in the first thing I bought was
a gun, and he's like, it's like having a second penis. Yeah,
and he goes, you know how I know that because
the first thing I did when I went home is
I put it in my mouth.

Speaker 16 (01:42:14):
Ah yeah, good stuff. Yeah, to be a menace. That's
a good though.

Speaker 3 (01:42:24):
All right, how about this?

Speaker 2 (01:42:26):
Og Vine star comedian, actress, and singer le Le Ponds
has announced that she is pregnant after two years of marriage.
And the reason I bring this up is you think
two years is long enough?

Speaker 3 (01:42:38):
Would he?

Speaker 10 (01:42:39):
Because you always say like, oh, if you get married,
don't have a baby right away? But two years long enough?

Speaker 2 (01:42:45):
Or should they have a couple of years where you
can just like, Uh, that's the mistake that my wife
and I made, you know that we we had it's
a minute one because she was like, I'll wear the
Oh I'm over thirty now, it's like big deal. You
got chicks in her fifties popping out kids. But anyway,
like it's it's not a thing. Have some time to
be able to just be the tulia. Unless you had
like a ten year engagement, you were less than a year, right,

(01:43:08):
what yeah, baby, it was married before kids we had
Uh yeah, let's say we got married in September, she
was pregnant by October.

Speaker 3 (01:43:19):
No, yeah, wasted no time? And how long were you
together before you got married?

Speaker 2 (01:43:25):
We were together well as a couple, we were together
for year and a half.

Speaker 3 (01:43:29):
Okay, so that's quick even.

Speaker 6 (01:43:31):
And then friends for all those years.

Speaker 3 (01:43:33):
Yeah, yeah, that's so. Yeah.

Speaker 14 (01:43:35):
But yeah, yeah, you weren't together for five years until baby.

Speaker 3 (01:43:38):
Yeah yeah correct. How the hell is this chook? A
fifty four million followers on Instagram?

Speaker 2 (01:43:42):
Well, she's been around since. Like again, she's like from Vine.

Speaker 3 (01:43:45):
Would you like to know how I know her menace?
Would you like to know how I knowd How do
you know? Was on an episode of Cooking with Paris.

Speaker 2 (01:43:56):
I love this again. She's actually really cool. She's not like,
you know, to catch me up.

Speaker 3 (01:44:00):
She ye really nice, very cool. All right, thank you
very much, minus no problem.

Speaker 6 (01:44:04):
Time for your birthdays.

Speaker 19 (01:44:06):
Sway, we're gonna shiday.

Speaker 3 (01:44:10):
We're gonna sit behay and you know we don't do
what all right?

Speaker 2 (01:44:16):
Start with the celebrities here. Aaron Eckhart, Harvey Dent in
The Dark Knight is fifty seven. Jamie Alexander, she's Siff
in the Thorn movies. Yes, she has forty one today.
James mother E Fan Taylor, the singer songwriter, former smack addict.
Oh yeah, he's a seventy seven. Steve Harris from Iron Maiden.
That's how old he is today, Greg, Oh, let's just

(01:44:38):
go with I don't know, sixty nine, sixty nine. Liza
Minelli is seventy nine.

Speaker 3 (01:44:47):
I would have a gay Oh.

Speaker 9 (01:44:49):
Yeah, same.

Speaker 2 (01:44:50):
Frank Welker, who was Fred in the Scooby Doo cartoons.
He's seventy nine. And then Darryl Strawberry, right fielder for
the nineteen eighty six World Series Champion New York Mets.
He and Doc Goodin loved the cocaine at the time.
He used to have sex in between innings. Like some
of the documentaries on the eighty six Mets.

Speaker 3 (01:45:09):
Are crazy, crazy the best.

Speaker 2 (01:45:11):
Darryl Strawberry, he was cool man, but these days he
lives in the suburbs of Saint Louis and he's a preacher,
not a kidding. Wow, he's sixty three years old. And
then your porno Berte today is Aubrey Gold and today's
birthday girl. She's been rained on more than the nice
people of Seattle one hundred and thirty four fine films,
including asking her friend's dad for a ride. She was

(01:45:33):
in Squirt Monster's Volume two. It's Scary Squirt Monster.

Speaker 3 (01:45:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:45:37):
A couple of Greg's favorites besties finally make out.

Speaker 3 (01:45:43):
My tasty college roommates. Why wouldn't you just make out?

Speaker 2 (01:45:46):
She was fantastic in The Girl next Door likes a
dirty Volume six and who can forget her unforgetable role?

Speaker 6 (01:45:52):
And it's not cheating if she's my sister.

Speaker 3 (01:45:55):
Oh, it's interesting.

Speaker 5 (01:45:58):
About Aubrey Gold. Oh yeah, she a murder man and
was sentenced to death in Florida. Oh what twenty twenty one?

Speaker 6 (01:46:04):
Are you serious?

Speaker 3 (01:46:04):
That's hold on.

Speaker 5 (01:46:06):
Right now google her the Avery Gold sentenced.

Speaker 3 (01:46:11):
Wow, no kidding.

Speaker 2 (01:46:12):
She's still having her birthday though, right.

Speaker 3 (01:46:13):
I've seen I've seen one Corsey is ten years.

Speaker 12 (01:46:16):
The other says death, yeah, which sends it in death
of man found in shallow grave.

Speaker 2 (01:46:21):
Whoa alright, well she's twenty year that was twenty twenty one,
twenty twenty one.

Speaker 3 (01:46:28):
Wow, she's young to be on death in the Death
of second I think that's your death.

Speaker 5 (01:46:33):
I think it is ten years in the death of Okay, okay,
So she was an accessory reading is hard? There are
maybe ye know prereading before she was. She was also
in Lesbian Big Moody Lover.

Speaker 2 (01:46:46):
She let's not forget that Gold, that's you porn of birthday,
Your celebrity birthday.

Speaker 6 (01:46:52):
And that is the little Wednesday Morning. He was gonna
say lesbian.

Speaker 3 (01:46:56):
Yeah, probably right now she is, Oh, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:46:58):
It a Littlenesday. Look what's happening in the world of
entertainment here on The Woody Show.

Speaker 3 (01:47:03):
In sensitivity training for a politically correct world.

Speaker 5 (01:47:06):
The Woodie Show, I don't care about your feelings?

Speaker 3 (01:47:11):
All right?

Speaker 2 (01:47:11):
Well that's it for Wednesday, all right. Full show podcast
everything from this morning. Also the Highlights podcast fifteen to
thirty minutes of our favorite crap from today's show that's
on your favorite podcast platform. Also by going to the
Woodieshow dot com. Check that out, subscribe to our podcast,
would you please?

Speaker 3 (01:47:30):
That'd be great.

Speaker 2 (01:47:32):
Also, we've got for you another chance to sign up
and win for The Woody Show After Hours takeover at
Disney California Adventure Park. So round ta Bear Fair for
you in a guest hotel, tickets to our takeover and more.
Sign up right now just by going to the Woodyshow
dot com. Back tomorrow with a whole new show. But
in the meantime, there's anything you want to tell us about,

(01:47:52):
leave it for us on the after Hours voicemail that
numbers eight seven seven forty four Woodie or you can
find us follow us on social media. Mets would love
that to do it At the Woody Show, Greg Gory
parting words of wisdom please.

Speaker 3 (01:48:05):
Yeah, the best thing about the good old days is
we weren't good and we weren't old. It's the best part. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:48:14):
God.

Speaker 2 (01:48:15):
I had a major league nostalgia a couple of weeks ago,
which led to some kind of like low key depression
for a few hours. I just snapped myself out of it.
I went down. There was a song that came on.
It was like an eighties song and I don't remember
exactly what the song was, but put you back in
that place in time, and I started thinking about my

(01:48:35):
grandparents are there, started thinking about like how things used
to be different, people who aren't around anymore, whether it's
grandparents they say, I went down this pretty depressive.

Speaker 3 (01:48:44):
Wow sounds depressing. Yeah no, But then I was like,
I mean you got to go through that everywhere. At
that time, I just couldn't wait to be an adult.

Speaker 2 (01:48:50):
Now it's like, man, I know we were asked the
question would you if you could, would you go back
in time more forward in time?

Speaker 3 (01:48:58):
And what did you We both said back in town.
Both I think the eighties didn't. Probably all right.

Speaker 2 (01:49:04):
Thank you very much, Greg Gory, thank you so much
for giving the Wood Show some of your valuable time
this morning. You know we love it, appreciate you for that.
The rest of you guys could suck it. Catch back
here on Thursday. Have a great day. S MD double M.

Speaker 3 (01:49:17):
I quit this bitch.