July 31, 2026 • 18 mins
News Headlines, The DUIQ, Menace's Late-Night Monologue & More!
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
All right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, are you
ready for Menaces late night monologue?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
We can review.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I hope you're wearing your comedy pants because it's about
to get funny.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
You're diapers, ladies and.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Gentlemen, boys ending girls?
Speaker 4 (00:25):
He many?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
What's up everybody? It's been hot all over the world
and I'm here for it.
Speaker 5 (00:34):
But I gotta admit I prefer ball's hot over scorching rectum.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (00:41):
This team would would sell a butthole fan because I
need it.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
Probably.
Speaker 5 (00:46):
Yeah, that's a good one man brand. New Day is
out shooting ropes and theaters. I mean webs. There hasn't
been this many white ribbons on the screen since Great
Gory Sex Tape. Great didn't the industry say it was
a stupid dumb amount of loads of struggle of webs
(01:06):
like you said a new industry standard?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Correct?
Speaker 6 (01:08):
I did?
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Yeah, drop in loads, dropping loads so much web.
Speaker 5 (01:13):
Speaking of stupid amounts, Doctor Anthony Fauci pleaded the fifth
over one hundred and eleven times this week. And it's like,
just because you hinted over taxpayer dollars to Eco Health Alliance,
which gave six hundred thousand dollars to Wuhan Labs. It
doesn't mean you can't mean you can't tell me the
color of the carpet, Fauci. Yeah, yeah, it's that got
(01:36):
your tongue, doc. Okay, the carpet was brown.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
By the way.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
Uh, did you know the average costs of the of
US missiles being used and Iran is twelve million dollars?
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 5 (01:50):
Yeah, and are we shopping at the Gucci Rocket stores?
Come on, It's like start slumming it and go to
Michael Kor's our case's face?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
You feel me?
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
All right? Well we found you're killing her. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:06):
We found out Morgan is going to Japan this week
and with her, with her height, she might put Godzilla
out of business.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
It's like girls spare Tokyo, you know.
Speaker 5 (02:18):
Yeah, yeah, no, I'm just kidding, just trying not to
cause any more earthquakes when we're going to Poundtown, you
know what I'm saying, trying to.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Visit next year. Netflix.
Speaker 5 (02:26):
Netflix is being sued for over one hundred million dollars
for losing Nicholas Cage's movie in their office. And I'm like, Netflix,
first check the dumpster in the back a toilet.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Garbage. Yeah, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
I love Nick Cage, but one hundred million dollars. Come on,
we might be overshooting ninety nine million dollars.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
I don't know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
All right, Big Watch is coming back, and it's like
Holy Hooters, Batman.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yeah, who do you feel me? Tony? Tony Roma got
Tony Romo.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
Got arrested on suspicion of on suspicion of being impaired
while driving.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Just look, just because you look super hammered doesn't mean
you're drunk.
Speaker 5 (03:15):
And just because you have an open container or a
bag full of mini bottles doesn't mean you're drunk.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
All it means is you're not a boring bitch? Am
I right?
Speaker 5 (03:23):
Greg? Absolutely accurate hashtag for you, Tony. Hashtag Greggory's driving School.
Someone in Florida won eight hundred million dollars in the
Mega millions. Imagine Greg, they can buy five backyard umbrellas,
maybe six. Also, someone in Florida pull though, pulled though
(03:46):
tawny card and got eleven million dollars.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
So people keep on knocking Florida.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
But I don't see any of you broke pitches, becoming
a million dollar of becoming a millionaire off five bucks?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (03:58):
Yeah, Stop being haters and get a vision board like Morgan,
Like Morgan, didn't you put blow your back out in Asia?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Be more like Morgan? All right? Where are we at? Okay?
Speaker 5 (04:15):
SpaceX recently launched a classified payload to space but sources
say it's great.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Cory's dun't truck of space dildos? Can you confirm our Denis?
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I was gonna ask you to advance. Is this monologue
going to be about sexual devians?
Speaker 4 (04:32):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Because I love it all right.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
Minnesota Water Treatment got hit with a cyber attack this week,
and when asked for comment by residents, they said, oh shucks,
it's pretty crappy.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
You bet y'all. That's my Minnesota. Thank you, A good one, authentic.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
A California mom, A California mom gave birth and a
jack in a box parking lot, and not to be outdone,
Morgan is giving birth to nine months jables.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Shout out the boat angles rebounding, this is good.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
The Top pod Paid Podcasters list came out this week.
Weird No Woody Show, but twentieth on the list. A
podcast that records only twice a week remotely for one
hour is worth eighteen million dollars. Look, guys, if we
keep on working harder, not smarter, maybe we'll hit the
top five hundred.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Anyways, we have a great show for you here.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Talking Heads is gonna be a and Ganghis Khan is
gonna sit down for an interview.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Happy Friday.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
All right, there you go.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
And he brought the heat this week. That was the
best forever. I mean, not as hot as the time
that Morgan's gonna have in Japan. Broken dude, I can't
wait for the boat Jangles birth you know.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Oh yeah, I can.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Oh man, I'm gonna throw your back out.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
We're gonna take a quick break now, John Menace, I.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Have a little scab on my look, because I get that's.
Speaker 5 (06:06):
All any other day of the week I would I'll
be one thousand percent down is it would not bove you.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
But he has a visible I have a little scab. Look,
just don't kiss you. Will take your end of the
hot dog.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah, put it into the bag and that way there's
like a dental.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Damn okay in front of your stupid face.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
All right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, time for
our dumb ass contest, as his tradition here on Fridays
on The Woodie Show.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Today's dumb ass contest is the d C.
Speaker 7 (06:40):
Do you I J?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Sea Bask explain the game to everybody.
Speaker 6 (06:43):
Please, signed a very drunk person ask them very easy
trivia questions.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
So then you you played the U i Q.
Speaker 6 (06:49):
Not by answering the questions any any brain dead child
can do that. No, you guess whether the drunk person
gets the answer correct, and if you can do that
twice out of three times, you win.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
All right, here are we going to here, Morgan, let's
go line to chat. All right, what's good, Chad?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
How are you? Chad?
Speaker 3 (07:07):
I'm doing well?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yeah, it's cha. Yeah, Chad. You're gonna play the d
uy Q.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Now before we get to the questions that count towards
you winning a prize or not, we're gonna get to
know the drunk a.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Little bit better her condition, his or her condition, I'm
not sure.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
But anyway, when we have the questions that count, you've
got to get two out of three right and you
will win.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Who is the drunk person this week's Sea Bat.
Speaker 6 (07:28):
We've talked to her before, but I've got lots more
from her bonus, exactly so much material for it right
right as you'll hear you just look the intro clip.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I think that's it all all right here, Sophia.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
I'm even going to quila. I'm looking for a.
Speaker 8 (07:42):
Sponsor like I'm looking for.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
You can pay your bills, No I could.
Speaker 8 (07:47):
I could hit my bills, but at the same time,
it will be nice to lean little assistance.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
You feel me.
Speaker 8 (07:55):
Listen, you guys, I'm open. I don't have a type
the smiter guy or girl guy or girl like whatever.
I'm a businesswoman, I got connects.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Why do you need a sponsor?
Speaker 6 (08:10):
Yeah, I will say this so someone when you see
on these dating apps like the whole whatever happened at
the seventies with the feminist movement, you know, I don't
need no man.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
But it's way out the door.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I realized that stupid film.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I need to provide her any someone who's generous. I
need someone. I need to be spoiled me. I don't
want a career. She's messed up, though, is she by herself?
Speaker 6 (08:30):
She was out celebrating like herr somebody's birthday with some
girl's birthday.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Yeah, you feel me, you feel me?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I do feel oldish, youngish, upper twenties. Let's see. That's
that's Sophia. All right, Chad, you ready for the questions?
Speaker 4 (08:44):
D u i Q.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
And we're gonna have Morgan step in for Sammy today.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
And I thought you were gonna pick Jeff g Okay.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Morgan's got a college degree from a real good school.
Speaker 9 (08:53):
Yeah, Arkansas.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Oh yeah, what's the what's the school? University of Arkansas.
Speaker 10 (09:01):
No.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
At the end, though, she says, wig sue, yeah, woo,
pig sue.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
That's what we say.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
It makes sense.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Do you feel me?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
You Filma?
Speaker 4 (09:09):
All right?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Question number one d u i Q.
Speaker 11 (09:11):
The Rosetta stone was used to figure out what.
Speaker 6 (09:15):
All right, there's a you know, it's an open question,
so I'll accept a variety of answers. Might ask more specifics,
but we'll see.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Okay, I'm gonna say no for Sophia. I think there's
a chance. Well, yeah, you know what, I'm gonna say, double.
Speaker 9 (09:35):
Yes, really, yeah, I'm sweeping no.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
You're sweeping no, yeah, double yes for these guys, and
then no for Sofia.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
What do you think, Greg?
Speaker 3 (09:45):
I normally don't look at the contestants, I e. Menace
Usually Sammy, but I did look at Morgan. She looks confident,
So I'm saying yes only to Morgan.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Okay, all right, let's see Chad, what do you think
this is? Sofia you're guessing on is she going to
get it?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I'm going to say no, no, all right. Question number
one d U I Q.
Speaker 11 (10:05):
The Rosetta stone was used to figure.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
Out what.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Menace decode languages? Decode languages, Morgan, how to.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Learn a language?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I'll give.
Speaker 6 (10:17):
I'll give languages the main thing. Yes, I would have
getten you guys. I would have gone given mouth parties to.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Both of you were playing mouth party. If you can
tell me what what languages it decoded.
Speaker 7 (10:32):
Well, it's Spanish and something else that is.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Wrong, wrong and mega wrong. Spanish was not even around
I again, uh, come on, get the mouth party. Egyptian
and European.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
New hieroglyphics or something.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I guess, well, there's two.
Speaker 6 (10:54):
The only ones that hieroglyphics ancient Greek and something called Demotic,
and Demotic was the common spoken language of Egypt. The
higherglyphics is like the fancy ten years old.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
And I heard that word nice.
Speaker 9 (11:04):
But yeah, you both because if you think of the
language learning app the Mouse Party.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I think, yeah, maybe half a month. I want, well,
would you say, Morgan, you said languages?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah so that no, no, no, no said
original but the original answer. Your original answer to the
question was how to learn a language? Yeah, so you
both get a.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Point, right, all right, So our contestant Chad said that
Sophia wouldn't get it.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Let's see if he gets his first point here in
this round of the d U i Q.
Speaker 11 (11:35):
The Rosetta stone was used to figure out.
Speaker 8 (11:38):
What the Rosetta zone is for, Like, it's a.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Language.
Speaker 10 (11:44):
What the.
Speaker 9 (11:47):
Rosetta zone said?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
What I was guessing I was gonna say, I think
that you know, menace whoever can look into it?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Just based on you.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Here's so many commercials to learn a language Rosetta stone.
All right, well, Chad, she still got two more questions
to work with here in this round of the d
U i Q.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Do you feel me?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
All right?
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Question number two, Harrisburg is the capital of what? All right,
Harrisburg is the capital of what?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
No, for Sophia, you think she's ever been in that country?
Triple triple No, you're trying to trick us, he said, country.
Speaker 9 (12:24):
Yeah, I'm feeling very jaded.
Speaker 11 (12:27):
Harrisburg is the capital of what it.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Might be a fictional place.
Speaker 9 (12:30):
I'm sweeping no again, it could be Narnia.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Yeah, what do you say? Greg?
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Geography is definitely one of Menas's weakest points. Travels right,
I'm going to say no to Menace. Triple no, triple no.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (12:44):
Yeah, this could be Harry Potter question because it could
be a question about me and you said triple no.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Right, Gina, all right, Chad, what do you think for Sophia?
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Will she get it? I had better say no to
all right man.
Speaker 11 (12:57):
Question number two, d U I Q Harrisburg is the
capital of what?
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Morgan?
Speaker 5 (13:03):
Is it?
Speaker 7 (13:03):
Virginia?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Virginia? Menace?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I also put Virginia. Virginia is incorrect. It is Pennsylvania.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Why do we think Virginia?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Okay, off the top of my head?
Speaker 6 (13:14):
Can I think of the I'm gonna be intellectually honest,
and I think of the virgin Is it Nofolk in Virginia?
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Virginia?
Speaker 8 (13:21):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Oh, damn it, damn it?
Speaker 7 (13:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Okay, what is it?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
What the capital of Virginia?
Speaker 2 (13:26):
And now I know? But what is it? Greg?
Speaker 10 (13:27):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
God, now I'm blanking.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
I looked it up.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Richmond, north of Richmond, Richmond, Virginia.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah, Richmond the capital.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
See, I always contend that it doesn't even ring familiar,
way smarter when I was in eighth grade.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Yeah, but why is always Harrisburg in Virginia together? Yeah?
Why does it sounds not far? They're not far apart,
that's true. Virgin Well, there's probably a lot of Harrisburg.
But yes, there is one in Virginia.
Speaker 12 (13:57):
Okay, so yeah, it's probably. Yeah, I think there's a
music festival there or something against there's people there. No, no,
I think there is like I think Farrell like puts
on a music festival.
Speaker 7 (14:09):
Okay, if the Cousins Music Festival, yes, yeah, yeah, that's
push your t.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
See now did you know that, Gina? Did you know
the answer that question?
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Did you know for Harrisburg? Yeah, yes you did.
Speaker 9 (14:21):
Okay, No, no, I didn't know the capital of Virginia.
I did know.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
No, I didn't know Harrisburg. Yes, the Pennsylvania was the
answer to that one. Okay, they have the dog Pile
of music festival.
Speaker 9 (14:31):
There's a Harrisonburg, Virginia.
Speaker 10 (14:33):
That's where that's what you're thinking about, damn it? All right,
So Chad said no, this is cold reading with psychics.
Chad said no, that Sofia wouldn't get it. He needs
this one to stay.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
In the game.
Speaker 8 (14:45):
Here on the d u y Q, Harrisburg is the
capital of what I feel like, it's the capital of Nevada.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
What do you do when you go to Harrisburg? Do
you drunk? You'll turn up? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
All right, well, good news, dude, you got that point
that you need it. Now you need this one in
order to get in this round of the d y Q.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Question number three.
Speaker 7 (15:07):
San Juan Capistrano is famous.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
For what specific animal?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
All right?
Speaker 7 (15:12):
What there's a specific animal that San juanist is famous for?
Speaker 4 (15:18):
What specific animal?
Speaker 2 (15:20):
In fact?
Speaker 6 (15:21):
Drive around there, they have images of this animal, like
on the side of the highway. It's it's that well known.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
And I say literally everywhere. It's yeah, they they they
shout this animal out left and right, up and down.
I will say no for me, I will say no
for Sophia. Triple no.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
I mean, based on the reaction, triple no.
Speaker 9 (15:42):
I'm sweeping no and I'm including myself.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Oh okay, you'll know.
Speaker 9 (15:45):
Okay, I see you say that.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
That's why I always say, like you think that everybody
knows this stuff. But it's one of those. It's one
of those I don't know that. I don't know the answer.
I've never vacationed there before.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
How am I supposed to know?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Well, gig it up more? Yeah, all right?
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Or it got me there are you know?
Speaker 4 (16:00):
What do you think?
Speaker 9 (16:01):
Triple?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
No triple No, triple triple?
Speaker 10 (16:03):
No?
Speaker 2 (16:03):
All right, Chad? What do you think?
Speaker 10 (16:07):
No? No?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
All right? Question number three?
Speaker 4 (16:09):
D u i q.
Speaker 7 (16:10):
San Juan Capistrano is famous for what specific animal?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Grad I guess.
Speaker 9 (16:19):
Hedgehog?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
A hedgehog?
Speaker 4 (16:20):
Not so fun, is it?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
I've never heard of this.
Speaker 9 (16:24):
I didn't know if there was any animal.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
A frog, a frog morgan, a seal or.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
A sea lion or a seagull. Maybe?
Speaker 6 (16:32):
Yeah, you know what I should have my fault. I
should have put the song in there too, a song.
It's a very famous song. If you're an owl fan.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Oh ow oh ow do you feel me?
Speaker 9 (16:51):
I'm an ol fan.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
What is the answer when the swallows?
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Would you have accepted bird? Because it's specific?
Speaker 9 (17:00):
Quickly, it's I got nothing.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Swallows of San Qua would be swallow enough. Never say any.
Speaker 9 (17:05):
Brain dead child would know these answers.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Right from the forties. I never I would have never
gotten that for a billion very well known if you've
never heard of, I mean, like I get it. I
don't even know where that is. I thought it was
San Juan Porto.
Speaker 6 (17:21):
Rican that That's what I said for the swallows. And again,
if you're driving, you don't have to go in. If
you drive past San Juan Capistrano.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Probably carved into their is welcome to it.
Speaker 9 (17:34):
Yeah, thank you, Jeff g you really you really have
to know the city of San Juan Capistrano.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
But no, you don't.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
I you don't.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I know it does a nine year old boy because
it was in movies and TV shows and it was reference.
Speaker 9 (17:47):
Where can I stand with you?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (17:49):
Good for you?
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Swallow question number three d u i q.
Speaker 7 (17:55):
San Juan Capistrano is famous for what specific animal.
Speaker 8 (18:00):
Honestly they know for getting drunk. I'm getting drunk, Sae,
I love.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Her, Pete, that's drunk.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Chack.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Congratulations, you are the winner here in this round of
the New Let's all right, all right, man win all right, Chad.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Congratulations, man, thank you so much for listening to show.
Have yourself an amazing weekend, and hang on so we
can get your info.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Okay, all right, all right, there you go. There's a
there's chat.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I request that you play that answer. Guy.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
It was so funny you can all right.
Speaker 7 (18:36):
What Samale Capistrano is famous for?
Speaker 4 (18:39):
What specific animal?
Speaker 8 (18:41):
Honestly, they know for getting drunk.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
I'm getting drunk.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I'm sorry, show, We'll.
Speaker 4 (18:49):
Be right back.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
I'll see it.
Speaker 10 (18:51):
Wh
All right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, are you
ready for Menaces late night monologue?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
We can review.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I hope you're wearing your comedy pants because it's about
to get funny.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
You're diapers, ladies and.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Gentlemen, boys ending girls?
Speaker 4 (00:25):
He many?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
What's up everybody? It's been hot all over the world
and I'm here for it.
Speaker 5 (00:34):
But I gotta admit I prefer ball's hot over scorching rectum.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (00:41):
This team would would sell a butthole fan because I
need it.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
Probably.
Speaker 5 (00:46):
Yeah, that's a good one man brand. New Day is
out shooting ropes and theaters. I mean webs. There hasn't
been this many white ribbons on the screen since Great
Gory Sex Tape. Great didn't the industry say it was
a stupid dumb amount of loads of struggle of webs
(01:06):
like you said a new industry standard?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Correct?
Speaker 6 (01:08):
I did?
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Yeah, drop in loads, dropping loads so much web.
Speaker 5 (01:13):
Speaking of stupid amounts, Doctor Anthony Fauci pleaded the fifth
over one hundred and eleven times this week. And it's like,
just because you hinted over taxpayer dollars to Eco Health Alliance,
which gave six hundred thousand dollars to Wuhan Labs. It
doesn't mean you can't mean you can't tell me the
color of the carpet, Fauci. Yeah, yeah, it's that got
(01:36):
your tongue, doc. Okay, the carpet was brown.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
By the way.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
Uh, did you know the average costs of the of
US missiles being used and Iran is twelve million dollars?
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 5 (01:50):
Yeah, and are we shopping at the Gucci Rocket stores?
Come on, It's like start slumming it and go to
Michael Kor's our case's face?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
You feel me?
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
All right? Well we found you're killing her. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:06):
We found out Morgan is going to Japan this week
and with her, with her height, she might put Godzilla
out of business.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
It's like girls spare Tokyo, you know.
Speaker 5 (02:18):
Yeah, yeah, no, I'm just kidding, just trying not to
cause any more earthquakes when we're going to Poundtown, you
know what I'm saying, trying to.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Visit next year. Netflix.
Speaker 5 (02:26):
Netflix is being sued for over one hundred million dollars
for losing Nicholas Cage's movie in their office. And I'm like, Netflix,
first check the dumpster in the back a toilet.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Garbage. Yeah, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
I love Nick Cage, but one hundred million dollars. Come on,
we might be overshooting ninety nine million dollars.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
I don't know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
All right, Big Watch is coming back, and it's like
Holy Hooters, Batman.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yeah, who do you feel me? Tony? Tony Roma got
Tony Romo.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
Got arrested on suspicion of on suspicion of being impaired
while driving.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Just look, just because you look super hammered doesn't mean
you're drunk.
Speaker 5 (03:15):
And just because you have an open container or a
bag full of mini bottles doesn't mean you're drunk.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
All it means is you're not a boring bitch? Am
I right?
Speaker 5 (03:23):
Greg? Absolutely accurate hashtag for you, Tony. Hashtag Greggory's driving School.
Someone in Florida won eight hundred million dollars in the
Mega millions. Imagine Greg, they can buy five backyard umbrellas,
maybe six. Also, someone in Florida pull though, pulled though
(03:46):
tawny card and got eleven million dollars.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
So people keep on knocking Florida.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
But I don't see any of you broke pitches, becoming
a million dollar of becoming a millionaire off five bucks?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (03:58):
Yeah, Stop being haters and get a vision board like Morgan,
Like Morgan, didn't you put blow your back out in Asia?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Be more like Morgan? All right? Where are we at? Okay?
Speaker 5 (04:15):
SpaceX recently launched a classified payload to space but sources
say it's great.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Cory's dun't truck of space dildos? Can you confirm our Denis?
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I was gonna ask you to advance. Is this monologue
going to be about sexual devians?
Speaker 4 (04:32):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Because I love it all right.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
Minnesota Water Treatment got hit with a cyber attack this week,
and when asked for comment by residents, they said, oh shucks,
it's pretty crappy.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
You bet y'all. That's my Minnesota. Thank you, A good one, authentic.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
A California mom, A California mom gave birth and a
jack in a box parking lot, and not to be outdone,
Morgan is giving birth to nine months jables.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Shout out the boat angles rebounding, this is good.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
The Top pod Paid Podcasters list came out this week.
Weird No Woody Show, but twentieth on the list. A
podcast that records only twice a week remotely for one
hour is worth eighteen million dollars. Look, guys, if we
keep on working harder, not smarter, maybe we'll hit the
top five hundred.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Anyways, we have a great show for you here.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Talking Heads is gonna be a and Ganghis Khan is
gonna sit down for an interview.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Happy Friday.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
All right, there you go.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
And he brought the heat this week. That was the
best forever. I mean, not as hot as the time
that Morgan's gonna have in Japan. Broken dude, I can't
wait for the boat Jangles birth you know.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Oh yeah, I can.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Oh man, I'm gonna throw your back out.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
We're gonna take a quick break now, John Menace, I.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Have a little scab on my look, because I get that's.
Speaker 5 (06:06):
All any other day of the week I would I'll
be one thousand percent down is it would not bove you.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
But he has a visible I have a little scab. Look,
just don't kiss you. Will take your end of the
hot dog.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah, put it into the bag and that way there's
like a dental.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Damn okay in front of your stupid face.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
All right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, time for
our dumb ass contest, as his tradition here on Fridays
on The Woodie Show.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Today's dumb ass contest is the d C.
Speaker 7 (06:40):
Do you I J?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Sea Bask explain the game to everybody.
Speaker 6 (06:43):
Please, signed a very drunk person ask them very easy
trivia questions.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
So then you you played the U i Q.
Speaker 6 (06:49):
Not by answering the questions any any brain dead child
can do that. No, you guess whether the drunk person
gets the answer correct, and if you can do that
twice out of three times, you win.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
All right, here are we going to here, Morgan, let's
go line to chat. All right, what's good, Chad?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
How are you? Chad?
Speaker 3 (07:07):
I'm doing well?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yeah, it's cha. Yeah, Chad. You're gonna play the d
uy Q.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Now before we get to the questions that count towards
you winning a prize or not, we're gonna get to
know the drunk a.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Little bit better her condition, his or her condition, I'm
not sure.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
But anyway, when we have the questions that count, you've
got to get two out of three right and you
will win.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Who is the drunk person this week's Sea Bat.
Speaker 6 (07:28):
We've talked to her before, but I've got lots more
from her bonus, exactly so much material for it right
right as you'll hear you just look the intro clip.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I think that's it all all right here, Sophia.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
I'm even going to quila. I'm looking for a.
Speaker 8 (07:42):
Sponsor like I'm looking for.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
You can pay your bills, No I could.
Speaker 8 (07:47):
I could hit my bills, but at the same time,
it will be nice to lean little assistance.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
You feel me.
Speaker 8 (07:55):
Listen, you guys, I'm open. I don't have a type
the smiter guy or girl guy or girl like whatever.
I'm a businesswoman, I got connects.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Why do you need a sponsor?
Speaker 6 (08:10):
Yeah, I will say this so someone when you see
on these dating apps like the whole whatever happened at
the seventies with the feminist movement, you know, I don't
need no man.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
But it's way out the door.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I realized that stupid film.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I need to provide her any someone who's generous. I
need someone. I need to be spoiled me. I don't
want a career. She's messed up, though, is she by herself?
Speaker 6 (08:30):
She was out celebrating like herr somebody's birthday with some
girl's birthday.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Yeah, you feel me, you feel me?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I do feel oldish, youngish, upper twenties. Let's see. That's
that's Sophia. All right, Chad, you ready for the questions?
Speaker 4 (08:44):
D u i Q.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
And we're gonna have Morgan step in for Sammy today.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
And I thought you were gonna pick Jeff g Okay.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Morgan's got a college degree from a real good school.
Speaker 9 (08:53):
Yeah, Arkansas.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Oh yeah, what's the what's the school? University of Arkansas.
Speaker 10 (09:01):
No.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
At the end, though, she says, wig sue, yeah, woo,
pig sue.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
That's what we say.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
It makes sense.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Do you feel me?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
You Filma?
Speaker 4 (09:09):
All right?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Question number one d u i Q.
Speaker 11 (09:11):
The Rosetta stone was used to figure out what.
Speaker 6 (09:15):
All right, there's a you know, it's an open question,
so I'll accept a variety of answers. Might ask more specifics,
but we'll see.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Okay, I'm gonna say no for Sophia. I think there's
a chance. Well, yeah, you know what, I'm gonna say, double.
Speaker 9 (09:35):
Yes, really, yeah, I'm sweeping no.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
You're sweeping no, yeah, double yes for these guys, and
then no for Sofia.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
What do you think, Greg?
Speaker 3 (09:45):
I normally don't look at the contestants, I e. Menace
Usually Sammy, but I did look at Morgan. She looks confident,
So I'm saying yes only to Morgan.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Okay, all right, let's see Chad, what do you think
this is? Sofia you're guessing on is she going to
get it?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I'm going to say no, no, all right. Question number
one d U I Q.
Speaker 11 (10:05):
The Rosetta stone was used to figure.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
Out what.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Menace decode languages? Decode languages, Morgan, how to.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Learn a language?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I'll give.
Speaker 6 (10:17):
I'll give languages the main thing. Yes, I would have
getten you guys. I would have gone given mouth parties to.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Both of you were playing mouth party. If you can
tell me what what languages it decoded.
Speaker 7 (10:32):
Well, it's Spanish and something else that is.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Wrong, wrong and mega wrong. Spanish was not even around
I again, uh, come on, get the mouth party. Egyptian
and European.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
New hieroglyphics or something.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I guess, well, there's two.
Speaker 6 (10:54):
The only ones that hieroglyphics ancient Greek and something called Demotic,
and Demotic was the common spoken language of Egypt. The
higherglyphics is like the fancy ten years old.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
And I heard that word nice.
Speaker 9 (11:04):
But yeah, you both because if you think of the
language learning app the Mouse Party.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I think, yeah, maybe half a month. I want, well,
would you say, Morgan, you said languages?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah so that no, no, no, no said
original but the original answer. Your original answer to the
question was how to learn a language? Yeah, so you
both get a.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Point, right, all right, So our contestant Chad said that
Sophia wouldn't get it.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Let's see if he gets his first point here in
this round of the d U i Q.
Speaker 11 (11:35):
The Rosetta stone was used to figure out.
Speaker 8 (11:38):
What the Rosetta zone is for, Like, it's a.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Language.
Speaker 10 (11:44):
What the.
Speaker 9 (11:47):
Rosetta zone said?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
What I was guessing I was gonna say, I think
that you know, menace whoever can look into it?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Just based on you.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Here's so many commercials to learn a language Rosetta stone.
All right, well, Chad, she still got two more questions
to work with here in this round of the d
U i Q.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Do you feel me?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
All right?
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Question number two, Harrisburg is the capital of what? All right,
Harrisburg is the capital of what?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
No, for Sophia, you think she's ever been in that country?
Triple triple No, you're trying to trick us, he said, country.
Speaker 9 (12:24):
Yeah, I'm feeling very jaded.
Speaker 11 (12:27):
Harrisburg is the capital of what it.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Might be a fictional place.
Speaker 9 (12:30):
I'm sweeping no again, it could be Narnia.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Yeah, what do you say? Greg?
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Geography is definitely one of Menas's weakest points. Travels right,
I'm going to say no to Menace. Triple no, triple no.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (12:44):
Yeah, this could be Harry Potter question because it could
be a question about me and you said triple no.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Right, Gina, all right, Chad, what do you think for Sophia?
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Will she get it? I had better say no to
all right man.
Speaker 11 (12:57):
Question number two, d U I Q Harrisburg is the
capital of what?
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Morgan?
Speaker 5 (13:03):
Is it?
Speaker 7 (13:03):
Virginia?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Virginia? Menace?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I also put Virginia. Virginia is incorrect. It is Pennsylvania.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Why do we think Virginia?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Okay, off the top of my head?
Speaker 6 (13:14):
Can I think of the I'm gonna be intellectually honest,
and I think of the virgin Is it Nofolk in Virginia?
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Virginia?
Speaker 8 (13:21):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Oh, damn it, damn it?
Speaker 7 (13:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Okay, what is it?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
What the capital of Virginia?
Speaker 2 (13:26):
And now I know? But what is it? Greg?
Speaker 10 (13:27):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
God, now I'm blanking.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
I looked it up.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Richmond, north of Richmond, Richmond, Virginia.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah, Richmond the capital.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
See, I always contend that it doesn't even ring familiar,
way smarter when I was in eighth grade.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Yeah, but why is always Harrisburg in Virginia together? Yeah?
Why does it sounds not far? They're not far apart,
that's true. Virgin Well, there's probably a lot of Harrisburg.
But yes, there is one in Virginia.
Speaker 12 (13:57):
Okay, so yeah, it's probably. Yeah, I think there's a
music festival there or something against there's people there. No, no,
I think there is like I think Farrell like puts
on a music festival.
Speaker 7 (14:09):
Okay, if the Cousins Music Festival, yes, yeah, yeah, that's
push your t.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
See now did you know that, Gina? Did you know
the answer that question?
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Did you know for Harrisburg? Yeah, yes you did.
Speaker 9 (14:21):
Okay, No, no, I didn't know the capital of Virginia.
I did know.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
No, I didn't know Harrisburg. Yes, the Pennsylvania was the
answer to that one. Okay, they have the dog Pile
of music festival.
Speaker 9 (14:31):
There's a Harrisonburg, Virginia.
Speaker 10 (14:33):
That's where that's what you're thinking about, damn it? All right,
So Chad said no, this is cold reading with psychics.
Chad said no, that Sofia wouldn't get it. He needs
this one to stay.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
In the game.
Speaker 8 (14:45):
Here on the d u y Q, Harrisburg is the
capital of what I feel like, it's the capital of Nevada.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
What do you do when you go to Harrisburg? Do
you drunk? You'll turn up? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
All right, well, good news, dude, you got that point
that you need it. Now you need this one in
order to get in this round of the d y Q.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Question number three.
Speaker 7 (15:07):
San Juan Capistrano is famous.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
For what specific animal?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
All right?
Speaker 7 (15:12):
What there's a specific animal that San juanist is famous for?
Speaker 4 (15:18):
What specific animal?
Speaker 2 (15:20):
In fact?
Speaker 6 (15:21):
Drive around there, they have images of this animal, like
on the side of the highway. It's it's that well known.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
And I say literally everywhere. It's yeah, they they they
shout this animal out left and right, up and down.
I will say no for me, I will say no
for Sophia. Triple no.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
I mean, based on the reaction, triple no.
Speaker 9 (15:42):
I'm sweeping no and I'm including myself.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Oh okay, you'll know.
Speaker 9 (15:45):
Okay, I see you say that.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
That's why I always say, like you think that everybody
knows this stuff. But it's one of those. It's one
of those I don't know that. I don't know the answer.
I've never vacationed there before.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
How am I supposed to know?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Well, gig it up more? Yeah, all right?
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Or it got me there are you know?
Speaker 4 (16:00):
What do you think?
Speaker 9 (16:01):
Triple?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
No triple No, triple triple?
Speaker 10 (16:03):
No?
Speaker 2 (16:03):
All right, Chad? What do you think?
Speaker 10 (16:07):
No? No?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
All right? Question number three?
Speaker 4 (16:09):
D u i q.
Speaker 7 (16:10):
San Juan Capistrano is famous for what specific animal?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Grad I guess.
Speaker 9 (16:19):
Hedgehog?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
A hedgehog?
Speaker 4 (16:20):
Not so fun, is it?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
I've never heard of this.
Speaker 9 (16:24):
I didn't know if there was any animal.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
A frog, a frog morgan, a seal or.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
A sea lion or a seagull. Maybe?
Speaker 6 (16:32):
Yeah, you know what I should have my fault. I
should have put the song in there too, a song.
It's a very famous song. If you're an owl fan.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Oh ow oh ow do you feel me?
Speaker 9 (16:51):
I'm an ol fan.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
What is the answer when the swallows?
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Would you have accepted bird? Because it's specific?
Speaker 9 (17:00):
Quickly, it's I got nothing.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Swallows of San Qua would be swallow enough. Never say any.
Speaker 9 (17:05):
Brain dead child would know these answers.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Right from the forties. I never I would have never
gotten that for a billion very well known if you've
never heard of, I mean, like I get it. I
don't even know where that is. I thought it was
San Juan Porto.
Speaker 6 (17:21):
Rican that That's what I said for the swallows. And again,
if you're driving, you don't have to go in. If
you drive past San Juan Capistrano.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Probably carved into their is welcome to it.
Speaker 9 (17:34):
Yeah, thank you, Jeff g you really you really have
to know the city of San Juan Capistrano.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
But no, you don't.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
I you don't.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I know it does a nine year old boy because
it was in movies and TV shows and it was reference.
Speaker 9 (17:47):
Where can I stand with you?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (17:49):
Good for you?
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Swallow question number three d u i q.
Speaker 7 (17:55):
San Juan Capistrano is famous for what specific animal.
Speaker 8 (18:00):
Honestly they know for getting drunk. I'm getting drunk, Sae,
I love.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Her, Pete, that's drunk.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Chack.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Congratulations, you are the winner here in this round of
the New Let's all right, all right, man win all right, Chad.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Congratulations, man, thank you so much for listening to show.
Have yourself an amazing weekend, and hang on so we
can get your info.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Okay, all right, all right, there you go. There's a
there's chat.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I request that you play that answer. Guy.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
It was so funny you can all right.
Speaker 7 (18:36):
What Samale Capistrano is famous for?
Speaker 4 (18:39):
What specific animal?
Speaker 8 (18:41):
Honestly, they know for getting drunk.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
I'm getting drunk.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I'm sorry, show, We'll.
Speaker 4 (18:49):
Be right back.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
I'll see it.
Speaker 10 (18:51):
Wh
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