October 23, 2025 • 29 mins
This week in audio, Greg Fitzsimmons in studio, News Headlines & More!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
What is.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Weird the show? And Greg Fitzsimmons is here.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Yeah, yeah, thank you for coming in and being here,
and you know, always like having you on the show.
And I mean, look, I like the vibe. The vibe
is a good, is a good. Fit is a good
it's a good hang. It's always it's always fun, great storyteller.
Who do you think is really killing it right now?
As far as comedy goes, who are the guys in
your opinion? Like, we like your comedy, so like who
(00:30):
do you like?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah? Who do you think?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
David tal is always to me the best comedian in
the country. He has been for twenty years and if
you get a chance to see him.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yeah, especially since I mean he's a club comic.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I mean, Luis c K to me is the best
comedian period in the last really twenty years.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
But he's a theater comic.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Okay, David's comic is David is a down in dirty
basement comic.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yeah, who riffs, who messes with the crowd, whose stream
of consciousness and then also has the hardest, tightest comedy
out there.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
And then Louis is just brilliant. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I didn't know much about him until he started blowing up.
Was like Shane Gillis, Oh yeah, you're a new fan
of his right. Anthony jessel Nick is another guy that
Shane love Shane.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Yeah, and then you know, you got there's some guys
out of New York, Mark Norman and Sam Morrell and
Joe List. There's a whole bunch of these guys that
are like, you know, a generation behind me that are
really really like, you know, there are people that are
not looking to parlay comedy into a TV career or whatever.
They just are pure road comics.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah. You know what keeps popping up to is uh
uh British Jimmy Carr. Yeah, that's amazing. The dude he's sharp,
he's so dare and.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
If you hear him in interviews, he's like, you know,
these British comics they make me ashamed because they're just
they're just like I had a guy on uh the
other day on my podcast Bridge something Bridge, and like.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Wait, he was on your show and you can't remember
his name. I don't remember anything. Like tomorrow somebody said,
who was on mc creigh. No, I literally I don't.
I don't remember something. It's yeah something, I.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Know it's on a Goldfish Ash every last so funny,
and he's like he learned different languages and he performs
in different languages, and it's like, you know, I I
just want to, you know, touch myself and sleep and
then go do the show.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yeah, when I'm on the road.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Yeah, we could check out fitz Dog Radio podcast. It's
a it's available. We can get right there on the
website Greg Fitzsimmons dot com.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
I see these guys or like the Jimmy Carr thing,
and just in general, I'm always impressed by comedians. Is
it is it hard? Like what's the hardest part? Is
it just being on the road part? And then the
comedy part is just a talent either have or you
don't have?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Or Yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Say they I I do comedy for free, but they
pay me to travel.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Yeah that makes sense. I was just in Vegas last week.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Brad Garrett has a club and at the MGM, and
it's a beautiful club and Brad comes down and does
some of the shows and he is the greatest guy
of all time.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
He just is super generous.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Like last time I was there, it was Valentine's Day
and we couldn't find a table because it was Vegas,
and and so Brad got us a separate room in
the best restaurant at the MGM. We had our own
there's like a speakeasy room that opens later. He had
them open it just for us. We had our own waiter.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Uh picked up the check at.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
The end of the meetum there he just like gave
me a huge bonus, took me out gambling and just
kept throwing hundreds in front of me. And and he's
just really and he's just he's just the greatest guy.
But anyway, it's seven nights and you know, you real,
like Vegas is a horrible place and you go there
(03:57):
and it's just like, you know, I'm gambling. I'm playing, Uh,
I'm playing blackjack because I figured how much can I
lose playing blackjacket?
Speaker 4 (04:07):
A lot?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
A lot.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
When you get the dealer, you know, the dealer who's
like from some southeastern Pacific island you've never heard of.
She's got like nine vowels in her name, and she
gets a twenty one every single time, like she's doing
witchcraft and stuff. At what point she gets a two
and then a three and then a sixteen of spades,
(04:28):
I'm like, wait, car, you want to play again, and
I walk out to see a picture on the wall
employee of the month.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
That's not what you want. Yeah, she's their best table person.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
And then you've got like seven nights a week is
Saturday night there, and you see gaggles of women. Is
it called a gaggle, geane the gaggle. Yeah, once it's
over three, it's a gaggle. And on their way out,
they've got on you know, five inch heels, the hairs.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Up, the sparkles. They're ready to go out.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I see them after the show on their way home
and the shoes are in the hand. I thought that
means you can't hit on those girls anymore. They're out
of the game. They're still on the field, but they're
out of the game. It's like paintball. If someone's got
a splatter on them, you can't shoot them again. Yeah
it's a football player. Yeah, the football player after the game.
He he's carrying like the jersey that still has the
(05:22):
pads and yeah, like he's not ready to go in
and play anymore. So it's just really like, because I
think every time.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I see comedians or talk didn't hang out, you know,
with comedians, it just seems like everybody's always having fun,
right you see it that way?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yeah, like because like, uh, okay, last time that I
saw you not in this environment was at Burt Kreischer's
event in Pittsburgh at the PBG Paints Arena and he
had like this big like after party thing, and a
bunch of Steelers players.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Were there, and all these other dudes were there, and
like everybody's just kind of hanging out and having a
good time.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
And that's when you know, Greg and I were just
sitting there chopping it up and everything, and it's just
they'll do it again tomorrow after after the next show,
just wherever they're at. It will be a different group
of friends or people that are fans that come by
to this like after party that Joey always seems to
be having the best time.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
With him in Pittsburgh all day and all we did
is go shopping and practici.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Yeah, I know, you're more like you're more on the
quiet side, like you're not throwing like a big after
party after.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Okay, Well that makes it more different. I really I
struggle on the road.
Speaker 5 (06:30):
Have you tried not having it?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Have you just tried not having it?
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Actually is the answer. I mean it literally is just
sometimes you just got to go. I just don't feel
this way right now.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Yeah, just don't don't act this way.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
And but you know, uh, I just when I'm on
the road, it's just like I've got my Wow, this
is really heavy. But no, I mean I I have
fun like I'm married, but like I will have sex
with waitresses like that, and then I don't drink.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
But when I go on the road, I'll drink. Oh
it doesn't count. No, I'm just that's kind of like
when cigarettes don't count.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
I mean, when you're sober and you're not screwing around
your wife. Like this is just not that much because
the staff will be like, hey, we're going out to
the you know, the the whatever bar, and I'm like,
for what, I don't drink.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I'm not going to hit on it. This is going
to only lead to trouble.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Are you an anti social person? Like outside of it,
I'm extremely social. Like I live in Veniceon.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
My neighborhood is very social and we have the I
mean we raised kids together and I've had friendships for
twenty five years with the same like ten couples and
we play beach volleyball every Sunday, we have poker nights,
dinner parties. We just you just walk in and out
of each other's houses. And so that's cool. But maybe
like on the road hanging I'm not social at all.
(07:53):
Comedy club like you're like, that's the part. Like it's
like hanging out co workers. Like when they have these
little they try to force everybody here to friends, like
with other stations pizza.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
It's not that you don't like these people. It's fine,
but it's like if it's a choice between I can
be at my house, I can go home now, or
I can hang out here for the free pizza in
the iHeartRadio sweatshirt, they're gonna be raffling off.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
People always go like how is Cincinnati? And I'll just
go like is that where I was? Like, I went
from the airport to the hotel to the club and
that's it. But then I went to Alaska. This is insane.
I was in Alaska two weeks ago and I'm not
making up a word of this stone what part Fairbanks? Okay,
because we just went on a Disney Alaska cruise. Oh
(08:38):
I love Juno's my face. So I get there and
uh and I'm there for like three nights. So I
say to the guy that owns the theater, I go,
I'd love to do something fun during the day. So
he calls me back and he goes, I got this
guy and he is like from this famous outdoorsy family.
They've got a company that's had like ATVs and snowmobiles
(08:59):
for generations, and he's a huge fan of yours and
he wants to take you out and you have an adventure.
So now I'm kind of intimidating because I grew up
in New York. I've been living in LA I'm soft
and these guys are you know, these are the guys
who shake you want to crush every finger in Your're like,
all right, you're not gay.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
And so now I'm like, all right, I'm gonna be wet.
I know I'm gonna get wet today and I'm gonna
be cold. But then I was like, all right, man up,
just man up, like you said, don't be depressed. So
the guy picks me up and he's in a monster truck.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
The wheels are as tall.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
As I am, and he's he's hauling like a dune
buggy that's covered in mud, and so I get in
and he but he but he's like this gentle guy.
He's retired, he's selling the business. He's moving down to Mexico.
And I'm like, all right, I think I'm I think
I'm in safe fans. He seems like a really decent guy.
He's talking about his wife and his kids. So we're
driving down looking at the Alaska Pipeline because I've never
(09:55):
seen it before. So we're on like a side street
and then a police siren goes off and I was like, what,
I go, you didn't do anything.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
He goes, this is bad. I'm like, what do you mean?
This is bad? He goes, this is bad. I go what.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
So the cop starts walking up to us, and he
takes a plastic baggie with white powder and he hands
it to me and he goes get rid of this
and it spills.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Some of it spills on my.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Pants, so I knoff it under the seat in the back.
The cop walks up. He goes, huge, dude, He goes
license a registration. So the guy goes, get my registration
out of the glove coupbox. I open it up, and
a baggie with pills and one hundred dollars bills starts
falling out. I shove it back in with my hand.
I cover it with paper, and the cop goes, what
(10:41):
are you hiding? So what are you hiding? So I
hand him the bag of drugs. So now I'm an
accessory to a felony, and so the cop grabs. He goes,
both of you, put your hands on the dashboard. So
I got my hands on the dashboard and I'm and
the cop takes his life and then he goes back
to the car to run it comes back and he goes, sir,
(11:03):
do you know you have an outstanding felony warrant?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
And he goes yeah. I go, yeah, you doing it?
Why did the theater run a seven? So then the
guy goes uh.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
He goes, are there any firearms in the car? I'm
sure this rocket launcher here somewhere, and he says no,
there's not. And so then the cop takes the guy
out of the car and he cuffs him right in
front of me, and he uh, he pats him down,
and then he.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Takes him back to the car and he puts them
in the back of the car.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
And I'm sitting there going like I got a show
in four hours. I just flew like eleven hours to
get up here to do the show. And so he
comes back and he goes and he's standing off the
back window. You know that power move? Yeah, And he goes,
uh oh, and I took my hands off the dashboard
at one point, and he goes.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Put your hands back on the dance. I put my
hands back on the dadok.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
And then he's like, he goes, I'm not coming close
to the car because that's fentanyl on you.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
So now I'm frozen. And he's like, where are you from?
And I said California? I said, dude, I'm a comedian.
I said, I'm here to do his show. I met
this guy twenty minutes ago. And he goes, he goes,
oh really, he goes, I'm not buying it. Sure, he goes,
you're from a drug feeder state. And I don't think
you're a comedian because you're not funny.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I'm like, I'm not funny.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Like at what point was I going too?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
My pants are wet.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
And you don't think this is funny. I'm a great
bit someday. So he goes, where did you get the drugs?
I go the glove compartment. He goes, no, he said,
they're yours, and so he goes, are you feeling any
effects the fenceadel I go yeah, I said, I feel
really lightheaded. I'm freaking out. And he goes, well, I
(12:51):
have a what'sarkam in the car, So he goes, don't move.
He goes get out of the car, but don't stir
it up. So I get out and we walked back
to the car and uh, he opens up the back
door to the police car and my driver gets out
and then the two of them look at me and
they go, we're coming to see your show tonight, and
(13:12):
they start laughing.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
The whole thing was gone, whoa fell and around.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I was on all fours out of relief, and also
I started laughing.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
I could stop laughing. I was laughing for like ten minutes. Yeah,
at that point, sure, that's awesome. It was. I felt
like I was in training day.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Uncontrollable laughter is what happens in that situation right before
a heart attack.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Yeh, that's how you know you're about to have a
heart attack.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
So we drive back to the cops house and uh,
he changes and then we get into the and then
he gets into the monster truck and we drive like
an hour and they take me to these hot springs
that they have up there, and we all get into
our bathing suits and we jump into this hot springs
and it's like it's like boiling and there's there's like
(14:02):
pockets of heat that hit you and you have to
like dive because so and then and then we go
directly into an ice building.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
It's made out of ice.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
It's the only Yeah, it's the only frozen building in
the world. And they and the guy bring the guy
that owns this place brings us in and he's like
an Alaska cowboy. And then they have a bar set
up and it's a it's an ice bar. It's made
out of ice. And then the stools have like elk fur.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
It's like that place that you can't take pictures minutes
in Vegas. They always want you to pay for the photographer. Like, yeah,
they gave us let people do social media to get
so much more marketing.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Yeah, and they got this ice sculpture guy who's in
there and uh.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
And so they sit down at the bar and they
start drinking.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
They've got a tap that pours apple teenis and so
these guys sit down and they proceed to have like
seven apple teenis and I'm sitting there going like, and
we're telling bar jokes, like and they're the most of
the ones from the last yes racist right, and uh
so I'm sitting there watching these two guys get drunk
and and tell racist jokes. And then and then we
(15:15):
leave and they're stumbling and my guy gets behind the
wheel and I go, hey, dude, I go, why don't
I be.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
The Disney driver? He goes, I'm fine and I can
get pulled over.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yeah, I go, dude, I go, I'm not getting in
this truck.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I go, I'm driving. So now I'm.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Behind the wheel of an eight ton monster truck on these.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Winding roads I doom buggy towing a dune buggy with.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Two guys laughing at me the entire time about how
they got. And then I get back to the hotel
and I was already late for the show I had
that night. They came to the show and hackled me
throughout the performance.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
So fun Yeah, I love Fitzdog. His storytelling is so funny. Greed,
you can see why we love having this guy in.
Greg Fitzimmons is here, Ladies and gentlemen, he's gonna be
hosting the Best Buddies Benefit of the Comedy Store on Sunday. Uh,
you got a whole bunch of Craig Robinson Andrew Setina who.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Loves to be a big special guest. You said, right, Yeah,
big special guests we can announce. For tickets, go to
fitzdog dot com. It's f I t Z d O.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
G dot com.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Three.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
All right, Greg Fitzsimmons is here.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Check him out on his website Greg Fitzsimmons dot com,
Instagram at Greg Fitzsimmons Twitter.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Of course you can find in there.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Which one do you find you're putting yourself, you know,
most effort into, Like of all the social media, I
think for us it's definitely uh what.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Instagram and a Facebook menace? Or like I mostly do?
Speaker 5 (16:55):
Yeah, I would say Instagram. I mean that's where we
have this strongest.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I do my Space and friends there, but I haven't
been to the site in a little while.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Now I do Instagram. I mean I do my like
Instagram the most.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I do two podcasts a week and so I put
those up like usually a clip from those. But I'm
not very active. I need to be it's stupid. It's
like it's the whole business now. It used to be
if you did the Tonight show, you could draw at
the clubs, and now you have to do uh social
media constantly, and I just I hate doing.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
It if you don't want to talk about its time.
We're having fun here and I'm not trying to get like,
you know, like serious. But you weren't invited to be
part of that whole What was the big comedy festival?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah, you were you part of that. You weren't part
of that that was in Vegas that weekend.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Yeah, No, you know, look, I I would uh, I
would say that going over there.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Is okay because you are bringing new ideas.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
I mean, you're going over there into a place that
is shut down and not exposed to Western thought. And
I think I think you can justify it as long
as you go over there saying I'm going to talk
about stuff they wouldn't want me.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
To talk about, not like be an outlaw.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
But I would think that, you know, I'd be scared,
and but I would donate the money to charity, and
then I would I would talk about stuff that might
push the boundaries.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Yeah, because there was man a lot of these comics
got lit up on that backlash. Yeah, but man, when
you get think about I mean, it's how it is.
Think about the average person and they have like some
huge chunk of chain. People go like, oh, you sold that? Well, yeah,
and what was it? Menas, what's that quote you always said?
Speaker 5 (18:41):
Oh yeah, it's from Charlotte and the God. He says,
I can't wait to sell out because there was somebody
has to buy in. That means that people have to
like believe in you. There is behind you.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
There's something like that. The only people who say they
wouldn't sell to the people who have never had the opportunity.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Yeah, you know, yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
I mean, look, you kDa to do what you already do.
But you're a plumber. Someone says, hey, man, I want
you to repipe my house. I normally don't go to
that part of town, but I think for this I will.
Speaker 5 (19:11):
My thoughts on it is like, why are we trying
to go and police everybody everywhere else when we still
have a lot of problems here.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah, No, it's true.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
If you if you there's a lot of countries, which
countries do you decide? You know, like, what about what
about England? They colonize the world. They starved the Irish
to death during the famine.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
It wasn't a famine. The English basically took all the
food out of Ireland while there was a potato like
there was plenty of other good crops, and they starved
a million people to death. And another thank you very much?
Am I not supposed to do? This is awesome.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
When everybody was giving Chick fil A a bunch of
heat about you know, homophobia, whatever, I'm like, the chicken
is delicious. I separate my politics from my chicken. I
separate my politics and things from music or movies or
because if you have to agree with everything that this
band or whatever the people in the band like like,
you won't like anybody.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Know the KKK.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
And I'm not saying that you took out for the KKK.
They're bake sales believable air.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah, that's true for now.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
The other thing you got to check out if you
enjoy Greg Fitzimmons and his storytelling and his comedy.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
It's Uh.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
It's on YouTube. It's his latest special, it's called you
Know Me and Uh. Part of the new special, it's
you talk about how like when kids become teens, right,
like they think that you are so uncool. I'm kind
of going through that right now. My son's fifteen, my
daughter's thirteen, right, it's rob How old are your kids now?
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Well, now they're twenty five and twenty that seems to
be the the best, Like you're out of the woods.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Yeah, because now that it's a the early part of
their adulthood where they're kind of struggling and they kind
of have more of an appreciation.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Well, I wait for my kids to struggle.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Now is just fun because like you know, they they
they're at the age where they start thinking they're smart now. Yes,
And so here's a conversation I had with my daughter
the other day. This is word for word. Hey dad,
what'd you do today? Oh? I went on like a
thirty mile bike ride. She goes, look at you, Louis Armstrong.
(21:28):
I said, Lance Armstrong, And she goes, is that the
guy that walked on the moon?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
God? Yea stretch Armstrong? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Getting yeah, because man, uh, they I don't know, Like
I wonder sometimes like do you survive? This is like
I think you either it's live or die, Like getting
through the teenage part of parenthood.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Right right, Well, keeping them off drugs is really hard
because like both my kids got very into weed because
it used.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
To be you came home and you smelt like weed. Yeah,
now you just eat a.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Gummy or you got a vape pen, right and every
and you know.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Once you know California, I saw a change.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
My kids were teenagers when it got legalized, and all
of a sudden, they were just high. It just became
like every single adult thought it was novel to have
a vape pen or gummies in their sock draw and
you're a kid, it's the first place you go. You
go to your parents' sock drawer, you find the vibrators
and you're like mo and and so like it's just
(22:41):
it's really hard to stop it.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
You know, there's not much you can do.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
So the best advice, like for for something like me
is my wife and I. You know, we get to
the point where we're ready to you know, pull our
hair if we if we could quit these kids, we would.
Sometimes you know, I've said like you love them, but
you hate being a parent, or you can say I
love you, but I really don't like right now.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Yeah, my parents used to say that to it.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
And I try to be I'm like, kind of the
more cool, calm one. My wife is the one losing
her mind. I know she starts fighting, dirty arguing, name calling.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
The same with the kids.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Oh yeah, she'll get into it. I got to like
sometimes like.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Oh, you have sons and daughters. My son is fifteen,
my daughter's thirteen, so I really have a rough time.
From thirteen to eighteen is really hard.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
But like right now, it's my son and my daughter
who are because they are the same person, and so
they have to have these So any kind of advice
you have, I will I will accept because I just.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Think you know something you have to You have to
make them feel like they can talk to you about anything.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yeah they can, that's true.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Yeah, I mean I just think you can't be judgmental,
you can't be authoritarian. I mean, this is the new
school of parenting. Some people think that this is wrong,
that you should, you know, be really strict with your kid.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
You're an old Irish cow. You got your ass kicked.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
I got my ass kicked, I got b right, and
you wish you could still do that. The other day,
I'm like, wouldn't it be great like in the old days,
Like we just beat the crap out of here.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yeah, I know, and be done with it.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
I got the beatings and the.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
All of it, the silent hate what he loves it.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
That was more debilitating than my father used to beat me.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
But I would have taken that over a week of
neither parents speaking a word to me.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
I mean, think about what that. Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
My mom gave me the silent treatment once for a week.
My dad was out of town on business and for
one week, not one word we've spoken. It was the
most awkward and the worst feeling in the world. You
talk about depression is when you don't want to be
where you are. I just wanted to be somewhere else,
and I'm a kid, I'm at home. It's not like, hey,
I'll be at my weekend place.
Speaker 6 (24:50):
Yeah, and you're stuck at home with a mother who
won't speak to you. It's in that situation, okay. But now, Greg,
as as a married dude and your wife's Matt and
she gives you a silent treatment, is that not awesome?
That's fantastic, right, you want to be There's a switch
that happens at some point in your life where like
getting the silent treatment goes from when you're a kid.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
It sucks to it rules and you're like, what did
I do? But let me know, I want to do
this again.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
It's okay to have that, But I really do believe
in that thing of like, don't go to bed angry,
like because if you if you can straighten it out,
it's such a bad hangover. If you get up in
the morning and you were angry the night before and
you hadn't dealt with it, you know.
Speaker 6 (25:33):
And you wake up and you think, oh, that's right,
we're mad at each Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
The other way, I'm like, you know what, sleep on it. Yeah,
because you're not as something happens when you sleep. Let
me just go to sleep.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Leep. Yeah, something happens when you sleep, you know, just
you wake up and whatever you thought. Yeah, it's like
right after you, Joe, right like, as soon as you're done,
everything that seemed like a good idea seconds ago no
longer a good idea gone, yeah, and you just kind
of maybe move on and just shrug it off.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
But that is the problem, is you're fatigued, and that's
the moment where the real parenting usually comes in.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
It's the end of the night and you gotta be
it's all about consistency. You want to have boundaries.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
I'm not saying like I'm saying, be gentle with them,
but also have consistent boundaries.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Were you cool parent.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
As far as like you know, were the kids allowed
to get away with certain things or super You say
you're strict.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
I was strict.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
My wife was not as much, which I think it's
good to have a good cop bad cop thing. But
I was strict, and but I didn't yell. I yelled once,
and I was just talking to my daughter about it.
We had dinner last night.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Here's what's great about my daughter. She's twenty two. She
lives in the guest house in the back. Oh, because
it cool.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
She comes in, Yeah, guess yes, it's perfect the guest quarters.
And she comes in and she she she likes to
have dinner with us, and she likes to talk to
We have dinner and then we sit there for three
hours and talk about life. It's actually really amazing. That's
the point I want to get to. That's what my
wife and I keep thinking about, like if we can
survive this. On the other end, is this so I'm
(27:06):
sure some people feel about working out, like mom, I
can't get myself to work out. But like when you like,
you're eventually gonna be able to look in the mirror
and at the rezonte feel good about it. Right, Eventually
we're gonna be able to get through this and we're
gonna be able to look at them and go, you
know what.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
It was worth about daughters? Like when a girl turns thirteen,
that's when she starts hating her parents. Is that true?
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (27:26):
My god, so true? Didn't hate us?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Like, thank god, we never got the I hate you.
I don't know that I could have handled.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
We've got that. I feel like we get that on
a pretty regular base.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Oh you've been told that? Oh yeah, oh god, I
know it's not real. People say that stuff in anger.
But then I can't wait to move out. I'm like, yeah,
I can't wait for you to move out, Like, look,
we have so much in common.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
I'm moving out all right. Your suitcases on the front.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
I made that joke since the kids were born. I said, hey,
you know what birthday is one through seventeen. You tell
me what you want on your eighteenth birthday, I can
tell you what you're getting.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
It's luggage.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Yeah yeah, but I but we I think we stood
by her through the tough teen years.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
So when she turned like eighteen, she just completely came
back and looks at us for advice.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
And you know, the pandemic happened right around that age,
and she and my wife would just have cocktails every night. Yeah,
you play games like the pandemic was actually really good
for our family, good old days.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
Well that's why there's that old saying, the older you get,
the smarter your parents get. Yeah, because you realize, oh man,
they were right right.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
What we were talking about, going to bed angry, waking
up and it's not post, not clarity post.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Yeah, that's happened before real. Greg Fitzimmons is here.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Yeah, he's hosting the Best Buddies Benefit of the Comedy
Store on Sunday. The show, A bunch of other comedians
are on there and the tickets are available Fitzdog f
I t z dog dot com. You can get all
the information there. We got more with Greg Fitzsimmons coming
up here on The Woody Show.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
A Woody Show
What is.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Weird the show? And Greg Fitzsimmons is here.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Yeah, yeah, thank you for coming in and being here,
and you know, always like having you on the show.
And I mean, look, I like the vibe. The vibe
is a good, is a good. Fit is a good
it's a good hang. It's always it's always fun, great storyteller.
Who do you think is really killing it right now?
As far as comedy goes, who are the guys in
your opinion? Like, we like your comedy, so like who
(00:30):
do you like?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah? Who do you think?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
David tal is always to me the best comedian in
the country. He has been for twenty years and if
you get a chance to see him.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yeah, especially since I mean he's a club comic.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I mean, Luis c K to me is the best
comedian period in the last really twenty years.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
But he's a theater comic.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Okay, David's comic is David is a down in dirty
basement comic.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yeah, who riffs, who messes with the crowd, whose stream
of consciousness and then also has the hardest, tightest comedy
out there.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
And then Louis is just brilliant. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I didn't know much about him until he started blowing up.
Was like Shane Gillis, Oh yeah, you're a new fan
of his right. Anthony jessel Nick is another guy that
Shane love Shane.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Yeah, and then you know, you got there's some guys
out of New York, Mark Norman and Sam Morrell and
Joe List. There's a whole bunch of these guys that
are like, you know, a generation behind me that are
really really like, you know, there are people that are
not looking to parlay comedy into a TV career or whatever.
They just are pure road comics.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah. You know what keeps popping up to is uh
uh British Jimmy Carr. Yeah, that's amazing. The dude he's sharp,
he's so dare and.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
If you hear him in interviews, he's like, you know,
these British comics they make me ashamed because they're just
they're just like I had a guy on uh the
other day on my podcast Bridge something Bridge, and like.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Wait, he was on your show and you can't remember
his name. I don't remember anything. Like tomorrow somebody said,
who was on mc creigh. No, I literally I don't.
I don't remember something. It's yeah something, I.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Know it's on a Goldfish Ash every last so funny,
and he's like he learned different languages and he performs
in different languages, and it's like, you know, I I
just want to, you know, touch myself and sleep and
then go do the show.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yeah, when I'm on the road.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Yeah, we could check out fitz Dog Radio podcast. It's
a it's available. We can get right there on the
website Greg Fitzsimmons dot com.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
I see these guys or like the Jimmy Carr thing,
and just in general, I'm always impressed by comedians. Is
it is it hard? Like what's the hardest part? Is
it just being on the road part? And then the
comedy part is just a talent either have or you
don't have?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Or Yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Say they I I do comedy for free, but they
pay me to travel.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Yeah that makes sense. I was just in Vegas last week.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Brad Garrett has a club and at the MGM, and
it's a beautiful club and Brad comes down and does
some of the shows and he is the greatest guy
of all time.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
He just is super generous.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Like last time I was there, it was Valentine's Day
and we couldn't find a table because it was Vegas,
and and so Brad got us a separate room in
the best restaurant at the MGM. We had our own
there's like a speakeasy room that opens later. He had
them open it just for us. We had our own waiter.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Uh picked up the check at.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
The end of the meetum there he just like gave
me a huge bonus, took me out gambling and just
kept throwing hundreds in front of me. And and he's
just really and he's just he's just the greatest guy.
But anyway, it's seven nights and you know, you real,
like Vegas is a horrible place and you go there
(03:57):
and it's just like, you know, I'm gambling. I'm playing, Uh,
I'm playing blackjack because I figured how much can I
lose playing blackjacket?
Speaker 4 (04:07):
A lot?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
A lot.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
When you get the dealer, you know, the dealer who's
like from some southeastern Pacific island you've never heard of.
She's got like nine vowels in her name, and she
gets a twenty one every single time, like she's doing
witchcraft and stuff. At what point she gets a two
and then a three and then a sixteen of spades,
(04:28):
I'm like, wait, car, you want to play again, and
I walk out to see a picture on the wall
employee of the month.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
That's not what you want. Yeah, she's their best table person.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
And then you've got like seven nights a week is
Saturday night there, and you see gaggles of women. Is
it called a gaggle, geane the gaggle. Yeah, once it's
over three, it's a gaggle. And on their way out,
they've got on you know, five inch heels, the hairs.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Up, the sparkles. They're ready to go out.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I see them after the show on their way home
and the shoes are in the hand. I thought that
means you can't hit on those girls anymore. They're out
of the game. They're still on the field, but they're
out of the game. It's like paintball. If someone's got
a splatter on them, you can't shoot them again. Yeah
it's a football player. Yeah, the football player after the game.
He he's carrying like the jersey that still has the
(05:22):
pads and yeah, like he's not ready to go in
and play anymore. So it's just really like, because I
think every time.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I see comedians or talk didn't hang out, you know,
with comedians, it just seems like everybody's always having fun,
right you see it that way?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yeah, like because like, uh, okay, last time that I
saw you not in this environment was at Burt Kreischer's
event in Pittsburgh at the PBG Paints Arena and he
had like this big like after party thing, and a
bunch of Steelers players.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Were there, and all these other dudes were there, and
like everybody's just kind of hanging out and having a
good time.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
And that's when you know, Greg and I were just
sitting there chopping it up and everything, and it's just
they'll do it again tomorrow after after the next show,
just wherever they're at. It will be a different group
of friends or people that are fans that come by
to this like after party that Joey always seems to
be having the best time.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
With him in Pittsburgh all day and all we did
is go shopping and practici.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Yeah, I know, you're more like you're more on the
quiet side, like you're not throwing like a big after
party after.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Okay, Well that makes it more different. I really I
struggle on the road.
Speaker 5 (06:30):
Have you tried not having it?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Have you just tried not having it?
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Actually is the answer. I mean it literally is just
sometimes you just got to go. I just don't feel
this way right now.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Yeah, just don't don't act this way.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
And but you know, uh, I just when I'm on
the road, it's just like I've got my Wow, this
is really heavy. But no, I mean I I have
fun like I'm married, but like I will have sex
with waitresses like that, and then I don't drink.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
But when I go on the road, I'll drink. Oh
it doesn't count. No, I'm just that's kind of like
when cigarettes don't count.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
I mean, when you're sober and you're not screwing around
your wife. Like this is just not that much because
the staff will be like, hey, we're going out to
the you know, the the whatever bar, and I'm like,
for what, I don't drink.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I'm not going to hit on it. This is going
to only lead to trouble.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Are you an anti social person? Like outside of it,
I'm extremely social. Like I live in Veniceon.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
My neighborhood is very social and we have the I
mean we raised kids together and I've had friendships for
twenty five years with the same like ten couples and
we play beach volleyball every Sunday, we have poker nights,
dinner parties. We just you just walk in and out
of each other's houses. And so that's cool. But maybe
like on the road hanging I'm not social at all.
(07:53):
Comedy club like you're like, that's the part. Like it's
like hanging out co workers. Like when they have these
little they try to force everybody here to friends, like
with other stations pizza.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
It's not that you don't like these people. It's fine,
but it's like if it's a choice between I can
be at my house, I can go home now, or
I can hang out here for the free pizza in
the iHeartRadio sweatshirt, they're gonna be raffling off.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
People always go like how is Cincinnati? And I'll just
go like is that where I was? Like, I went
from the airport to the hotel to the club and
that's it. But then I went to Alaska. This is insane.
I was in Alaska two weeks ago and I'm not
making up a word of this stone what part Fairbanks? Okay,
because we just went on a Disney Alaska cruise. Oh
(08:38):
I love Juno's my face. So I get there and
uh and I'm there for like three nights. So I
say to the guy that owns the theater, I go,
I'd love to do something fun during the day. So
he calls me back and he goes, I got this
guy and he is like from this famous outdoorsy family.
They've got a company that's had like ATVs and snowmobiles
(08:59):
for generations, and he's a huge fan of yours and
he wants to take you out and you have an adventure.
So now I'm kind of intimidating because I grew up
in New York. I've been living in LA I'm soft
and these guys are you know, these are the guys
who shake you want to crush every finger in Your're like,
all right, you're not gay.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
And so now I'm like, all right, I'm gonna be wet.
I know I'm gonna get wet today and I'm gonna
be cold. But then I was like, all right, man up,
just man up, like you said, don't be depressed. So
the guy picks me up and he's in a monster truck.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
The wheels are as tall.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
As I am, and he's he's hauling like a dune
buggy that's covered in mud, and so I get in
and he but he but he's like this gentle guy.
He's retired, he's selling the business. He's moving down to Mexico.
And I'm like, all right, I think I'm I think
I'm in safe fans. He seems like a really decent guy.
He's talking about his wife and his kids. So we're
driving down looking at the Alaska Pipeline because I've never
(09:55):
seen it before. So we're on like a side street
and then a police siren goes off and I was like, what,
I go, you didn't do anything.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
He goes, this is bad. I'm like, what do you mean?
This is bad? He goes, this is bad. I go what.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
So the cop starts walking up to us, and he
takes a plastic baggie with white powder and he hands
it to me and he goes get rid of this
and it spills.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Some of it spills on my.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Pants, so I knoff it under the seat in the back.
The cop walks up. He goes, huge, dude, He goes
license a registration. So the guy goes, get my registration
out of the glove coupbox. I open it up, and
a baggie with pills and one hundred dollars bills starts
falling out. I shove it back in with my hand.
I cover it with paper, and the cop goes, what
(10:41):
are you hiding? So what are you hiding? So I
hand him the bag of drugs. So now I'm an
accessory to a felony, and so the cop grabs. He goes,
both of you, put your hands on the dashboard. So
I got my hands on the dashboard and I'm and
the cop takes his life and then he goes back
to the car to run it comes back and he goes, sir,
(11:03):
do you know you have an outstanding felony warrant?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
And he goes yeah. I go, yeah, you doing it?
Why did the theater run a seven? So then the
guy goes uh.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
He goes, are there any firearms in the car? I'm
sure this rocket launcher here somewhere, and he says no,
there's not. And so then the cop takes the guy
out of the car and he cuffs him right in
front of me, and he uh, he pats him down,
and then he.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Takes him back to the car and he puts them
in the back of the car.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
And I'm sitting there going like I got a show
in four hours. I just flew like eleven hours to
get up here to do the show. And so he
comes back and he goes and he's standing off the
back window. You know that power move? Yeah, And he goes,
uh oh, and I took my hands off the dashboard
at one point, and he goes.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Put your hands back on the dance. I put my
hands back on the dadok.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
And then he's like, he goes, I'm not coming close
to the car because that's fentanyl on you.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
So now I'm frozen. And he's like, where are you from?
And I said California? I said, dude, I'm a comedian.
I said, I'm here to do his show. I met
this guy twenty minutes ago. And he goes, he goes,
oh really, he goes, I'm not buying it. Sure, he goes,
you're from a drug feeder state. And I don't think
you're a comedian because you're not funny.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I'm like, I'm not funny.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Like at what point was I going too?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
My pants are wet.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
And you don't think this is funny. I'm a great
bit someday. So he goes, where did you get the drugs?
I go the glove compartment. He goes, no, he said,
they're yours, and so he goes, are you feeling any
effects the fenceadel I go yeah, I said, I feel
really lightheaded. I'm freaking out. And he goes, well, I
(12:51):
have a what'sarkam in the car, So he goes, don't move.
He goes get out of the car, but don't stir
it up. So I get out and we walked back
to the car and uh, he opens up the back
door to the police car and my driver gets out
and then the two of them look at me and
they go, we're coming to see your show tonight, and
(13:12):
they start laughing.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
The whole thing was gone, whoa fell and around.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I was on all fours out of relief, and also
I started laughing.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
I could stop laughing. I was laughing for like ten minutes. Yeah,
at that point, sure, that's awesome. It was. I felt
like I was in training day.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Uncontrollable laughter is what happens in that situation right before
a heart attack.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Yeh, that's how you know you're about to have a
heart attack.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
So we drive back to the cops house and uh,
he changes and then we get into the and then
he gets into the monster truck and we drive like
an hour and they take me to these hot springs
that they have up there, and we all get into
our bathing suits and we jump into this hot springs
and it's like it's like boiling and there's there's like
(14:02):
pockets of heat that hit you and you have to
like dive because so and then and then we go
directly into an ice building.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
It's made out of ice.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
It's the only Yeah, it's the only frozen building in
the world. And they and the guy bring the guy
that owns this place brings us in and he's like
an Alaska cowboy. And then they have a bar set
up and it's a it's an ice bar. It's made
out of ice. And then the stools have like elk fur.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
It's like that place that you can't take pictures minutes
in Vegas. They always want you to pay for the photographer. Like, yeah,
they gave us let people do social media to get
so much more marketing.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Yeah, and they got this ice sculpture guy who's in
there and uh.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
And so they sit down at the bar and they
start drinking.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
They've got a tap that pours apple teenis and so
these guys sit down and they proceed to have like
seven apple teenis and I'm sitting there going like, and
we're telling bar jokes, like and they're the most of
the ones from the last yes racist right, and uh
so I'm sitting there watching these two guys get drunk
and and tell racist jokes. And then and then we
(15:15):
leave and they're stumbling and my guy gets behind the
wheel and I go, hey, dude, I go, why don't
I be.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
The Disney driver? He goes, I'm fine and I can
get pulled over.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yeah, I go, dude, I go, I'm not getting in
this truck.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I go, I'm driving. So now I'm.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Behind the wheel of an eight ton monster truck on these.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Winding roads I doom buggy towing a dune buggy with.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Two guys laughing at me the entire time about how
they got. And then I get back to the hotel
and I was already late for the show I had
that night. They came to the show and hackled me
throughout the performance.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
So fun Yeah, I love Fitzdog. His storytelling is so funny. Greed,
you can see why we love having this guy in.
Greg Fitzimmons is here, Ladies and gentlemen, he's gonna be
hosting the Best Buddies Benefit of the Comedy Store on Sunday. Uh,
you got a whole bunch of Craig Robinson Andrew Setina who.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Loves to be a big special guest. You said, right, Yeah,
big special guests we can announce. For tickets, go to
fitzdog dot com. It's f I t Z d O.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
G dot com.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Three.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
All right, Greg Fitzsimmons is here.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Check him out on his website Greg Fitzsimmons dot com,
Instagram at Greg Fitzsimmons Twitter.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Of course you can find in there.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Which one do you find you're putting yourself, you know,
most effort into, Like of all the social media, I
think for us it's definitely uh what.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Instagram and a Facebook menace? Or like I mostly do?
Speaker 5 (16:55):
Yeah, I would say Instagram. I mean that's where we
have this strongest.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I do my Space and friends there, but I haven't
been to the site in a little while.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Now I do Instagram. I mean I do my like
Instagram the most.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I do two podcasts a week and so I put
those up like usually a clip from those. But I'm
not very active. I need to be it's stupid. It's
like it's the whole business now. It used to be
if you did the Tonight show, you could draw at
the clubs, and now you have to do uh social
media constantly, and I just I hate doing.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
It if you don't want to talk about its time.
We're having fun here and I'm not trying to get like,
you know, like serious. But you weren't invited to be
part of that whole What was the big comedy festival?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah, you were you part of that. You weren't part
of that that was in Vegas that weekend.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Yeah, No, you know, look, I I would uh, I
would say that going over there.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Is okay because you are bringing new ideas.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
I mean, you're going over there into a place that
is shut down and not exposed to Western thought. And
I think I think you can justify it as long
as you go over there saying I'm going to talk
about stuff they wouldn't want me.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
To talk about, not like be an outlaw.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
But I would think that, you know, I'd be scared,
and but I would donate the money to charity, and
then I would I would talk about stuff that might
push the boundaries.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Yeah, because there was man a lot of these comics
got lit up on that backlash. Yeah, but man, when
you get think about I mean, it's how it is.
Think about the average person and they have like some
huge chunk of chain. People go like, oh, you sold that? Well, yeah,
and what was it? Menas, what's that quote you always said?
Speaker 5 (18:41):
Oh yeah, it's from Charlotte and the God. He says,
I can't wait to sell out because there was somebody
has to buy in. That means that people have to
like believe in you. There is behind you.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
There's something like that. The only people who say they
wouldn't sell to the people who have never had the opportunity.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Yeah, you know, yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
I mean, look, you kDa to do what you already do.
But you're a plumber. Someone says, hey, man, I want
you to repipe my house. I normally don't go to
that part of town, but I think for this I will.
Speaker 5 (19:11):
My thoughts on it is like, why are we trying
to go and police everybody everywhere else when we still
have a lot of problems here.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah, No, it's true.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
If you if you there's a lot of countries, which
countries do you decide? You know, like, what about what
about England? They colonize the world. They starved the Irish
to death during the famine.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
It wasn't a famine. The English basically took all the
food out of Ireland while there was a potato like
there was plenty of other good crops, and they starved
a million people to death. And another thank you very much?
Am I not supposed to do? This is awesome.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
When everybody was giving Chick fil A a bunch of
heat about you know, homophobia, whatever, I'm like, the chicken
is delicious. I separate my politics from my chicken. I
separate my politics and things from music or movies or
because if you have to agree with everything that this
band or whatever the people in the band like like,
you won't like anybody.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Know the KKK.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
And I'm not saying that you took out for the KKK.
They're bake sales believable air.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah, that's true for now.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
The other thing you got to check out if you
enjoy Greg Fitzimmons and his storytelling and his comedy.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
It's Uh.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
It's on YouTube. It's his latest special, it's called you
Know Me and Uh. Part of the new special, it's
you talk about how like when kids become teens, right,
like they think that you are so uncool. I'm kind
of going through that right now. My son's fifteen, my
daughter's thirteen, right, it's rob How old are your kids now?
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Well, now they're twenty five and twenty that seems to
be the the best, Like you're out of the woods.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Yeah, because now that it's a the early part of
their adulthood where they're kind of struggling and they kind
of have more of an appreciation.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Well, I wait for my kids to struggle.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Now is just fun because like you know, they they
they're at the age where they start thinking they're smart now. Yes,
And so here's a conversation I had with my daughter
the other day. This is word for word. Hey dad,
what'd you do today? Oh? I went on like a
thirty mile bike ride. She goes, look at you, Louis Armstrong.
(21:28):
I said, Lance Armstrong, And she goes, is that the
guy that walked on the moon?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
God? Yea stretch Armstrong? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Getting yeah, because man, uh, they I don't know, Like
I wonder sometimes like do you survive? This is like
I think you either it's live or die, Like getting
through the teenage part of parenthood.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Right right, Well, keeping them off drugs is really hard
because like both my kids got very into weed because
it used.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
To be you came home and you smelt like weed. Yeah,
now you just eat a.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Gummy or you got a vape pen, right and every
and you know.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Once you know California, I saw a change.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
My kids were teenagers when it got legalized, and all
of a sudden, they were just high. It just became
like every single adult thought it was novel to have
a vape pen or gummies in their sock draw and
you're a kid, it's the first place you go. You
go to your parents' sock drawer, you find the vibrators
and you're like mo and and so like it's just
(22:41):
it's really hard to stop it.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
You know, there's not much you can do.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
So the best advice, like for for something like me
is my wife and I. You know, we get to
the point where we're ready to you know, pull our
hair if we if we could quit these kids, we would.
Sometimes you know, I've said like you love them, but
you hate being a parent, or you can say I
love you, but I really don't like right now.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Yeah, my parents used to say that to it.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
And I try to be I'm like, kind of the
more cool, calm one. My wife is the one losing
her mind. I know she starts fighting, dirty arguing, name calling.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
The same with the kids.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Oh yeah, she'll get into it. I got to like
sometimes like.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Oh, you have sons and daughters. My son is fifteen,
my daughter's thirteen, so I really have a rough time.
From thirteen to eighteen is really hard.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
But like right now, it's my son and my daughter
who are because they are the same person, and so
they have to have these So any kind of advice
you have, I will I will accept because I just.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Think you know something you have to You have to
make them feel like they can talk to you about anything.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yeah they can, that's true.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Yeah, I mean I just think you can't be judgmental,
you can't be authoritarian. I mean, this is the new
school of parenting. Some people think that this is wrong,
that you should, you know, be really strict with your kid.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
You're an old Irish cow. You got your ass kicked.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
I got my ass kicked, I got b right, and
you wish you could still do that. The other day,
I'm like, wouldn't it be great like in the old days,
Like we just beat the crap out of here.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yeah, I know, and be done with it.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
I got the beatings and the.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
All of it, the silent hate what he loves it.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
That was more debilitating than my father used to beat me.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
But I would have taken that over a week of
neither parents speaking a word to me.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
I mean, think about what that. Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
My mom gave me the silent treatment once for a week.
My dad was out of town on business and for
one week, not one word we've spoken. It was the
most awkward and the worst feeling in the world. You
talk about depression is when you don't want to be
where you are. I just wanted to be somewhere else,
and I'm a kid, I'm at home. It's not like, hey,
I'll be at my weekend place.
Speaker 6 (24:50):
Yeah, and you're stuck at home with a mother who
won't speak to you. It's in that situation, okay. But now, Greg,
as as a married dude and your wife's Matt and
she gives you a silent treatment, is that not awesome?
That's fantastic, right, you want to be There's a switch
that happens at some point in your life where like
getting the silent treatment goes from when you're a kid.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
It sucks to it rules and you're like, what did
I do? But let me know, I want to do
this again.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
It's okay to have that, But I really do believe
in that thing of like, don't go to bed angry,
like because if you if you can straighten it out,
it's such a bad hangover. If you get up in
the morning and you were angry the night before and
you hadn't dealt with it, you know.
Speaker 6 (25:33):
And you wake up and you think, oh, that's right,
we're mad at each Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
The other way, I'm like, you know what, sleep on it. Yeah,
because you're not as something happens when you sleep. Let
me just go to sleep.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Leep. Yeah, something happens when you sleep, you know, just
you wake up and whatever you thought. Yeah, it's like
right after you, Joe, right like, as soon as you're done,
everything that seemed like a good idea seconds ago no
longer a good idea gone, yeah, and you just kind
of maybe move on and just shrug it off.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
But that is the problem, is you're fatigued, and that's
the moment where the real parenting usually comes in.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
It's the end of the night and you gotta be
it's all about consistency. You want to have boundaries.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
I'm not saying like I'm saying, be gentle with them,
but also have consistent boundaries.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Were you cool parent.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
As far as like you know, were the kids allowed
to get away with certain things or super You say
you're strict.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
I was strict.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
My wife was not as much, which I think it's
good to have a good cop bad cop thing. But
I was strict, and but I didn't yell. I yelled once,
and I was just talking to my daughter about it.
We had dinner last night.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Here's what's great about my daughter. She's twenty two. She
lives in the guest house in the back. Oh, because
it cool.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
She comes in, Yeah, guess yes, it's perfect the guest quarters.
And she comes in and she she she likes to
have dinner with us, and she likes to talk to
We have dinner and then we sit there for three
hours and talk about life. It's actually really amazing. That's
the point I want to get to. That's what my
wife and I keep thinking about, like if we can
survive this. On the other end, is this so I'm
(27:06):
sure some people feel about working out, like mom, I
can't get myself to work out. But like when you like,
you're eventually gonna be able to look in the mirror
and at the rezonte feel good about it. Right, Eventually
we're gonna be able to get through this and we're
gonna be able to look at them and go, you
know what.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
It was worth about daughters? Like when a girl turns thirteen,
that's when she starts hating her parents. Is that true?
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (27:26):
My god, so true? Didn't hate us?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Like, thank god, we never got the I hate you.
I don't know that I could have handled.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
We've got that. I feel like we get that on
a pretty regular base.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Oh you've been told that? Oh yeah, oh god, I
know it's not real. People say that stuff in anger.
But then I can't wait to move out. I'm like, yeah,
I can't wait for you to move out, Like, look,
we have so much in common.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
I'm moving out all right. Your suitcases on the front.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
I made that joke since the kids were born. I said, hey,
you know what birthday is one through seventeen. You tell
me what you want on your eighteenth birthday, I can
tell you what you're getting.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
It's luggage.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Yeah yeah, but I but we I think we stood
by her through the tough teen years.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
So when she turned like eighteen, she just completely came
back and looks at us for advice.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
And you know, the pandemic happened right around that age,
and she and my wife would just have cocktails every night. Yeah,
you play games like the pandemic was actually really good
for our family, good old days.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
Well that's why there's that old saying, the older you get,
the smarter your parents get. Yeah, because you realize, oh man,
they were right right.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
What we were talking about, going to bed angry, waking
up and it's not post, not clarity post.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Yeah, that's happened before real. Greg Fitzimmons is here.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Yeah, he's hosting the Best Buddies Benefit of the Comedy
Store on Sunday. The show, A bunch of other comedians
are on there and the tickets are available Fitzdog f
I t z dog dot com. You can get all
the information there. We got more with Greg Fitzsimmons coming
up here on The Woody Show.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
A Woody Show
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