Headlines 03/05/26

Real or Fake News Headlines

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
That's the new one from Bruno Mars. New album is out,
The Romantic and that is of course I just mind
it does mind it's so fun. He is so good.
All right, Jen, ready for some realer fake news headlines.
I am. Let's take a look new study hence that
the most nutritious food to eat is live goldfish, real

(00:24):
or fake?

Speaker 2 (00:25):
Fake?

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Thank you?

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
I can't I eat sushi.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
I'd rather be dead before I eat it.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
I really don't want to eat anything alive. And I
like fish, but I'm not eating a live.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
I'm not eating a goldfish.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Come on, guys.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Another year, another twenty Camels disqualified from the Camel Beauty
Show Festival for using boatox and lip fillers real or fake.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Quit it, quit it right now?

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Is this real? Where is this? You are not giving
camels lip filler?

Speaker 1 (01:04):
Dude? This was gonna happen sooner or later.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
Stop.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Camel beauty contests are a big deal in omen A.
N It's gotta be in the Middle East, Yes it is.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
It's a country in the Middle East.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
Okay, there you go.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
It's a beautiful country.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
Where breeders compete for big prize money and valuable breeding
rights and at the twenty twenty six Camel Beauty Show Festival,
with twenty animals were kicked out after vets discovered they
had been secretly enhanced with cosmetic procedures.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
This is ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
This is ridiculous. Do not put goodness lit filler into
a camel.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
Microsoft has filed a patent for an AI that.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
Plays Xbox for you real or fake?

Speaker 2 (01:55):
Fake?

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Fake is yeah, no, rude. Now we're so lazy that
we can't even play our own video games. That's kind
of crazy. That's a double lazy. Like most people, you're like, oh,
they play video games, they're lazy, and then you know,
now you're not even playing them.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
You're letting the play the while you're watching it.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
I mean a lot of people do watch other people
play video games because they stream and live record. I
know themselves playing and I don't understand how I can
just watch them either. That's not the fun part no
of a game. It's the plane. It's the plane. Yeah,
I don't really understand, but you know, maybe there's a

(02:33):
money making opportunity there. Yeah, well we missed out.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
Washington State moves to ban forced employee micro chipping reel
or fake.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
When was forced to real. I swear if our company
came to us and they're like, hey, we got a
micro chip, you're like I'm sorry, what, yes? No, thank you?
Like I'm not owned by this company?

Speaker 2 (03:01):
What.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
Washington State is on the verge of passing a law
that would ban employers from forcing workers to get microchip
implants under their skin.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Thank goodness, let's.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
Get that pass. Yeah. I need to be forcing anybody
to do anything, Like when was that an option? When
were we going to do that? Like, oh my gosh.
It says there have been no confirmed cases of employees
being forced into microchipping, but the bill's sponsors say that
they want to get ahead of the problem before it

(03:33):
would ever start. Thank you for looking ahead instead of
being reactive. Thank you for being proactive.

Speaker 3 (03:41):
Company launches clothing line made from recycled human waste reel or.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
Fake fake thankfully. Okay, do you know how unsanitary that is? Right?

Speaker 2 (03:53):
Not?

Speaker 1 (03:53):
Okay, that's not even I don't even think about that. Yeah,
in fact, I'm done with headlines.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
Now you look like a goldfish. Well, oh I really
can't eat a gold fish.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Now all over in your whole world,