Sex at the Olympics & Perimenopause Symptom Education

Dr. Jenn shares her vulnerable list of perimenopause symptoms and quizzes Clint on what he knows. Plus, should the Olympic athletes engage in sex at the Olympic Village?

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Doctor jen Wee. And I mean, you have a lot to talk about
today. I do, but Iwant to start with happy one week after
your birthday? Your birthday was aweek ago or a week and a day
ago. How what did you dofor your birthday? Man? I ate,
that's what I did. I ateit was good. It was We
went to STP Bar and Grill andgot together with some friends for lunch.

(00:22):
My older son was in town andhad to leave by four pm to get
to a rehearsal for his show upin La so I went to lunch with
him, and one of the friendswas nice enough to buy he and I
lunch, which was cool, andthen let my stomach settle. And then
later that night we went to arestaurant called Godfather The Godfather on Claremont,
Mesa, which is one of myfavorite restaurants ever, and so was STP.

(00:42):
They're both so phenomenal. And Iwent with my wife and my younger
son, my father and a coupleof friends Jan Mailani and god that food
is good, you know, andjust you know, got some cool stuff.
I got a new pillow from mywife which is super comfortable, and
because I've had a horrible pillow fora long time, and I know I
like her pillow about a year agogot it. And then she got me
a massage. Just on Saturday.We went with the same couple Jan Mailani,

(01:06):
and we got massages at Saquon CassinaResorts, spa ritual, Oh fun,
and went to dinner at Suerte,which is a really cool Mexican place.
She probably loved this place. It'skind of fun. It's nothing super
fancy, but it's good drinks,good chips, and their salsawheel. Anyway,
so it had a great birthday,and you know, I'm shocked that
as good a birthday as I had. And I don't like place the value

(01:26):
of friendship on the value of whatsomebody gets me. But my buddy Jay,
I really can't believe he did this. He got me a quadlock,
which is a motorcycle phone holder foryour cell phone, but it is not
your normal This, like all thestuff he got together, I think this
was like over two hundred dollars worthof stuff. Oh wow. Yeah,
And I was like, dude,So I don't know that really was kind

(01:48):
of touching it. Again, notbecause of the dollar amount, the fact
that he was willing to get thatfor me, And he knew that I
wanted it for like six months andI couldn't justify pulling the trigger. I
just wouldn't do it. Yeah,And he goes, I knew you wouldn't,
so I didn't. Oh, it'snot going to get you a blowy,
And he started laughing. He said, what would get me a blowy?
I said, I'm a six pack? Nah, we do, Blowe?

(02:13):
What a word blowy? Well,when I say it, I'm going
to say blowy. I'm not goingto say it the way you normally say
it because I'm never going to giveone. I mean unless I go to
prison and I'm forced. But otherthan that, you know you could.
I mean it's currency, you know, so right? Wow? Right,
okay, Sowe? So, howhow old did you turn? Twenty nine?

(02:36):
For real? Thirty five? Areyou fifty four? Fifty five?
It is fifty five. I wasn'tsure if you were there yet. How's
that feel, Nicholas, it's weirdto say it. It's just so I
don't feel fifty five. I don'tfeel like I act fifty five. I
mean, god willing, I feellike, you know, I could do
radio and whatever, I'm doing nowfor another fifteen years easily. But I

(03:00):
don't know. It's it's it's it'sbizarre. Now I did say ARP can
suck it until I looked at someof the discounts. Yes, no,
that shit's legit like discounts. Yes, now it's better at sixty and especially
sixty five. But but fifty fivethey start kicking it. Fifty it starts,
but fifty five it's better. Stufflike got it? I think?
There? What is it? Budget? Car rental in some locations are in

(03:21):
some instances thirty percent off plus likeupgrades. I know when I saw that,
I'm like, maybe I am joiningAARP until this point, but now
I'm looking into it. That's legit. How's it feel for you to be
thirty five? Well, so thisis a good segue into one of the
topics that we teased last time.Although there's nothing teasing about this, I
will say, since we're speaking ofage, okay, so I am gonna

(03:44):
quiz you. I just made thisup right now. So because you were
a man, who is how oldyour wife? Fifty one? Okay?
So everything I'm going to share hereyou should know already as the loving partner
of a woman of her age.So what is the definition of menopause.

(04:09):
Well, it's when you're with aman. No, no, no,
pause enjoying him, so it's pauseto let him man explain more? Is
that it it's a menopause. I'mpausing on liking men right now because they
pissed me off. So it's minimum. Well that's fair. That actually does
happen for a number of women afterthey go you know. No. Part

(04:30):
of it's a legit hormone shift thatyou know, with this big shift in
estrogen, which is part I thinkpart of it like caretaking for women and
when you have a big drop init and then you look around and you're
like, what the fuck am Itaking care of all you people? I
want to take care of me finally, So that's like a real thing to
anyway, what is the official,like medical definition of menopause. This is

(04:51):
gonna sound strange and I'm probably verywrong, but what I thought I understood
it to be is you reach certainages of woman and it can be different
various ages for women, but aroundusually from what I'm told, usually in
your late forties to mid fifties thatyou your testosterone level drops quite a bit.
You say testosterone, Yes, absolutely, and even estrogen. I guess

(05:13):
no, estrogen is the main one. Oh, okay, so estrogen drops
and I think it's sort of Ithink it can lead to depression and it
just it's almost like a reset inyour mind and your emotions, kind of
like a midlife crisis. But it'sactually physical, is what I is.
How I understand it, Okay,best the way I know. Ex So,
the official definition of menopause is whenyou are right of this age and

(05:40):
you have gone one year without havinga period. So that is the actual
side. I knew this, doctugent. I can't believe. I can't believe
I didn't even say that. Yes, my wife even explained that to me.
Yes, yes, got it.So it is so if you've otherwise
been having periods and then you gothrough a time period of having irregular periods
longer and short, and then theyget kind of longer longer, and then

(06:01):
you've gone a full year. Sothat is the official medical diagnosis of menopause,
that you are no longer you know, a fertile woman and you're not
having periods, you're not ovulating anymore, and then harry. Menopause is the
whole time period leading up to that, where your hormones are shifting, your
periods are getting irregular, and you'rehaving symptoms. So okay, two more

(06:25):
questions. Two more quiz questions.One, what is the average age of
menopause for women? I thought itwas fifty It's fifty one? Okay,
fifty one, so half half,I guess fifty of women, by the
time they hit fifty one, theyhave officially gone a year since their last

(06:46):
period. So half of women.Yeah, so that's the average age.
Yeah, so and I want that'swhat. Yeah, for some women,
it can naturally happen in their latethirties. Oh wow, yes, yeah,
so that is very early, butit is possible. I just talked

(07:08):
to somebody recently who said that tome, like last week or something.
Yeah, so okay. Third thing, you started to say this, what
are various symptoms during perimenopause? Well, I want to say, based on
experience, I think a little bitof I don't know if you call it

(07:29):
depression. It can lead to depression, but moodiness, sometimes a little bit
shorter temper. I think periods ofsort of being very emotional. I notice,
like even watching movies. Hey,can you hear me. Well,
you're breaking up some. Okay,so I don't know how unstable. Okay,

(07:50):
yeah, you're breaking up some.I'm not sure how well it's being
recorded. All right, well we'llkeep going then. But yeah, so
moodiness, I think irritability, whichcould be actually as part of moodiness.
But and then I think a decreasein energy, and I just think kind
of like a roller coaster of emotionshappen. I think that's the symptoms that

(08:13):
I know about. What about you, all, fair? Yes? And
so well, So the biggest,I mean, the biggest known one is
always hot flashes, which are andI don't know if you said that and
we got and I couldn't hear you. I okay, so that is the
main one. And it's like literally, you know, in a one hour

(08:33):
time period, women can have liketwelve fifteen hot flashes, you know,
which is the time pier where allof the sudden they're like sweating. Can
you imagine like you're up giving ameeting, you're live on air, but
like you're doing things that you needto contract, and then all of a
sudden, your whole body feels hotand you're like sweating for no reason,
and it's like very also a disorientingand distracting feeling. And I was like,

(08:56):
I can't even imagine fucking being likeme as a public speed, you
know, in the middle of givena top. Oh you're back, so
you sent me as a public speakerin the middle of giving a talk and

(09:16):
then it went away. Yeah,can you imagine like if I was getting
hot flashed. So I'm not gettinghot flashes. I'm saying yet hopefully that
I will avoid that. But that'sone of the biggest ones, and that's
the one that they seem more willingto give hormone replacement for because all of
these things are caused by primarily adrop in estrogen, and that we have

(09:37):
so many parts of our body,you know, so many organs and our
brain and clearly our reproductive organs,and our skin and everything that is impacted
by estrogen has like tissue that isresponsive to estrogen. So with this drop
and with these changes and estrogen,it can literally impact all aspects of our

(09:58):
body physically, me untially, emotionally. So uh, I'll go. So
I'm going to read through my listand then I don't think did I tell
you last time? What my doctorsuggested for me my primary care when I
gave her all of these symptoms lastweek. I do remember you saying no,
But I do remember you saying thatshe said you came with more information

(10:18):
and questions than most people ever have. No, she did not say that
to me. I thought you saidthat that you came with a bunch of
No, but she didn't say thatto me. No, no, No,
I don't know. I might bemixing my conversations up because I've had
the conversation conversations about perimenopods with others. No, no, No, what
I'm saying is no, that wouldmake me happy. No. No,
what I mean is well, I'dlove to make you happy with that.

(10:39):
But no, I think I musthave had a conversation with somebody, because
I remember someone saying that their doctorsaid, Wow, you've come with so
much information, more than most everhave. But it must have been something
different. So it was It wouldhave been nice because I do have a
lot of information because this is allconnected to my field. But no,
she did not say that. Okay, so irregularly, so I'm going to
go through my list regular periods fromI like this year. I had a

(11:01):
period that last a cycle that wenttwenty five days in between periods, and
one that went like twenty one days. So it's been quite a variety.
Honestly. One of the worst symptomsterrible bloating, like bloating to the point
that I will be no joke weeksat a time, look like I'm five
months pregnant. If I don't suckit, like suck it in a lot

(11:22):
and wear like really baggy clothes likelegitifi and I'll wake up in the morning
with it and It'll be all dayand everything's tight and awful. It's like
awful regardless of what I eat.I can eat really healthy, I can
eat crappy, doesn't matter. Terribleachy legs and feet at nighttime like super
like kind of like a restless legsyndrome. Cannot sleep, I wake up,

(11:43):
I can't get back to sleep.I do all sorts of stretches and
things I've profen used to help.It doesn't anymore. Yeah, So like
the joints and muscles, a lotof waking, particularly around my middle.
I have this itching at nighttime.My feet itch, but also my vulva
will itch. Oh boy, SoI have a special cream to use.

(12:05):
Are you hearing all of this becausefrom my end, you just I was
hearing it. I was hearing it. Now you're back again, but yeah,
I was hearing it up until yousaid, are you hearing this?
Because it and then it's stopped.Now you're back. I've heard about my
itchy vulva. Then I didn't aboutyour special cream I do have. It's
quite pricey that somebody turned me ontoo. And I spend like seventy eighty

(12:26):
dollars on this cream, like wow, two three times a year, so
at least it lasts a while.It totally helps. Within like five minutes,
everything feels fine. I give vertigothat's triggered at night time may or
may not be connected to this,but it's only like a dizziness upon laying
down, Okay, yeah, andthat and that seems to come and go,
and it does seem to follow mycycle. Now my ability to orgasm

(12:50):
has changed. I've like have along refractory period in between when I'm able
to have an orgasm and then whenI can again, which sucks, like
days like days and days, whichreally sucks. Buzzy headedness at times kind
of. And you were mentioning thedepression I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't
use that word. But there iskind of like this down like this sort
of on we feeling and this Ifeel like my resilience is low, and

(13:13):
it's kind of tied with a selfdoubt sometimes in a way that I've never
really experienced. Certainly irritability at timesand tired a lot, and then like
a you know, and then particularbreast tenderness that can sometimes go on for
a few weeks if I have reallylonger cycles. So anyway, there's all

(13:35):
that. It sucks. So whatdo you think my doctor recommended to me?
Well, I can't tell. SeeI can see your face where other
people can't. So if I wereto just hear you ask the question,
and I'm one of the listeners rightnow, and hello, by the way,
Stiffy, I would think that youwere just genuinely asking that question.

(13:58):
But I saw your face, soyou don't look happy to me with what
you heard. Yeah, so yeah, I don't know. Like I'm thinking
your doctor may have just said youneed more exercise to get out in the
sunshine and read books. Right,Actually sounds lovely, You're right, it
would have pissed me off. No, Well, so she said, she

(14:18):
goes, Yes, everything she goes, this is all can be connected.
Absolutely, you're the right age allof that. Her suggestion antidepressants, Oh,
straight to drugs. Huh, youfroze again. Straight to drugs?
Oh am, I freezing, doctorjen Oh no, I can't hear you.
I can hear you edit this out. I don't know if anybody can

(14:39):
hear me. Hello, hello,Hello, Hello, hello hello. I
might be pretty annoyed. Yeah.Are you gonna be able to go back
and edit this time? I'm gonnatry. H Yeah. So so here's
where it went. So and Isaid, as soon as you said,

(15:01):
and in the present, so straightto drugs, yes, and straight to
a drug that like really can impactyou, can have a lot of side
effects and can be difficult for peopleto go off. And it's not at
all like we know, we knowwhat's what's causing all of this, Like
we actually know what's the cause ofall of this, we know what the

(15:24):
root causes. And that's just acherry picking to me, cherry picking some
of the symptoms and being like,yes, and let's start this. And
I was like, oh, Idon't. I here's the thing. I
know plenty of people on it.Very helpful, very necessary good and I
really don't want to introduce this unknownfactor into my life if I don't have

(15:46):
to so, because I mean,honestly, what I was hoping for is
like maybe I could have some estrogencream or something. Maybe something could She
said, no hormones. She andI actually know through a friend of mine
that this particular primary care, eventhough she's through Kaiser and Western medicine,
is anti that. So and apparently, and then she did say the only

(16:10):
if I had had bad hot flashes, that's the only time she might,
you know, do HRT hormone replacementtherapy. I don't want a lot because
the thing is, you know,back in my twenties when I was on
the birth control pill, I didn'tlike it, so I don't like taking
hormones. But anyway, I havean appointment with a gynecologist tomorrow. So

(16:30):
she made a referral for me soI could talk to a gynecologist and we
could talk through all different aspects ofthis, including the sexual components, yeah,
and other stuff. So we'll see. But yeah, it was a
little dissatisfied with the outcome of thatappointment. And I'm talking about it because
you talk details about your prostrate stuffand erections and such. So I feel

(16:53):
like this is it's exactly comfortable forme to list off this whole list.
It feels undther, it feels embarrassing, and it feels vulnerable. But as
we have made a commitment over theyears that we want this podcast to serve
in some ways as a public serviceannouncement and normalize what people are experiencing and

(17:14):
talk about what people are afraid totalk about. That is why I wanted
to share. Well, I appreciateit, and I'm sure people listening appreciate
it. And you always tell meproud of you are me, I'm proud
of you because trust me, Iget it. I get it that that
would could be embarrassing. So shootyour froze again if you can hear me,

(17:36):
hold on, let's let this comeback again. Hello Hello, hello,
hold on, hello, hello,hello, hello, hello, hello,

(17:59):
hold on you're back. God.So, I don't know if you
heard me say that, I canunderstand how it would be embarrassing. No,
no, I didn't. You startedtalking and it all got cut out.
So listen. You know you've toldme how proud of me you are,
So I'm just telling you. I'mproud of you for putting yourself out
there like that. What did youlearn that I need to stay far away

(18:21):
from my wife whenever she's going throughthese symptoms because I don't want her to
murder me in my sleep. There'ssuch a dick. And then to have
an excuse in court that, oh, it wasn't her, it was that.
No, well you are actually Idon't. Yeah, this isn't.
This isn't. Don't ever say thisto a perimidal pause person because it sounds
too trivializing. Okay, well,so I was coming to this and I

(18:45):
apologize, but but it makes mewhat's the word, very sensitive to and
aware of how I need to besensitive to my wife. Yeah, when
she's going through this. And uh, and you too, actually listen,
you and I joke around a lot, but if I put myself in your
shoes or my wife's shoes, thatis life altering. It's a whole I

(19:10):
wouldn't even call it another chapter inyour life. I mean it is,
but it's like a whole new book. Well, it's a transitional time period,
but then once we're in menopause,you're in a different stable place,
but you don't exactly know where you'regonna end up. Yeah, but this
ups and like all of these things, these shouldn't last once I'm officially but
I don't know where it will leaveme. I mean, it does leave

(19:32):
you with like low estrogen and sexcan be painful because you have vaginal atrophy
and no natural lubrication. So itcan you know, things that I'm not
currently dealing with outside of ichivolva,but it can leave you in that place.
So yeah, but this is aunique, specific, traditional time period

(19:56):
that's still not well understood and notwell talked about. So well, it's
yeah, you think with you know, I think a lot of people,
including me, sometimes we forget aboutthat you have. But today's technology,
they should have answers for everything onehundred percent of the time. And then
talking to you about this, hearingthat there's still not a lot known about
it. It's that it's because it'swomen and not men. And the thing

(20:17):
is there hasn't been funding for itbecause people have to be willing to fund
it and pay for it, andbecause if this was something men were dealing
with, I guarantee just like viagarawas discovered decades ago, you know,
and no, it's it's so that'sthe thing, women's health, women's reproductive
health. There's been traditionally it ischanging, but there's been traditionally so much

(20:40):
less funding for it. I havefriends who are in biotech, running their
own companies, and they get likethey come in and they get just like
they're in a room full of menwho know nothing about these topics, don't
think they're that important, and don'tcare about them because it doesn't impact them.
So, I mean, and thatis changing, thankfully, But I
mean, that is a large,large part of it. And plus I
will say the endocrine system overall isvery complicated in a lot of ways that

(21:03):
we just still for men and womenthat we just don't understand well so for
a variety of factors. But yeah, I say, I appreciate that I
could talk to my boyfriend about allof this and that then you know,
I don't want to overtalk about it. But there's often something going on,
and his empathy matters to MESO.I showed him once several months ago,

(21:26):
I was like, can I justshow you how bloated I've been for like
the past two weeks, Like wehad just come back from an event and
I was wearing a nice dress,and I was like, it was so
uncomfortable trying to like suck myself inthis whole time. I was like,
can I just can I show youactually how bloated I am. I'm like,
it's so embarrassing, but I wantyou to see because it actually,
like it hurts, like it actuallyis stretching my skin and it hurts so

(21:48):
much. And I showed him,like you should have seen the look on
his face. And I go,I'm not exaggerating when I say five months
pregnant. He goes, no,he goes, you're not. And he's
got two kids. Yeah. Anyway, I think being able to talk about
it in relationships is really important.So that's awesome. I mean, okay,
as you say, communication is key, yeah, my okay, that's

(22:11):
my PSA, Do you have anothertopic, because I have another topic?
Like sex at the Olympics. Yes, sex at the Olympics. Those little
cardboard beds, they say, too, can you tell me? They're quite
sturdy? And they had them before, they had them three years ago at
the Olympics also, but I guessall these athletes screw like rabbits, So
that is so I got interviewed bya story a written like a journalistic written

(22:37):
story, so unfortunately not TV,but it is a written story for CBS
National News. This is my prwoman who's great. Nick got this for
me and so I got interviewed bya journalist. It should come out like
the week before the Olympics, allabout my thoughts about sex at the Olympics
for Olympians. Should they do it? Should they not do it? So

(22:57):
we talked all about time. Thebig thing I talked about was that you
know this, for most people,this isn't sex with like a long term
partner of something that's known that youknow what, it feels like, you
trust this person, you know it'sconsensual, maybe it helps you sleep at
night. For most people, thisis hookup sex, which often involves staying
up late and drinking and you're withstrangers and maybe you're doing things you don't

(23:21):
want to do or feel like youhave to go along with things or yeah,
there's just so many unknown factors andfor most people, small percentage of
people, at least the research infor college students hookup culture. You know,
I think it's only like fifteen percentof students really love hookup culture.
They thrive in it. They likeit, they get enjoyment, they get
pleasure. The rest is students eitheravoid it or they do it because they

(23:45):
feel like they have to, butthey don't. Actually, they don't get
a lot of pleasure or enjoyment outof it. They're looking for more because
it's not just like you know anyway. The destiction I made was between just
hooking up and hook up culture.The fact is this whole culture around of
what you're supposed to do and notdo, et cetera, and hookup culture
I think can be not beneficial formost people, especially people who are like

(24:10):
literally supposed to be performing at theirtop level. So my answer was,
don't do it. I don't wellafter your event until after you were completely
done, then let it loose andhave fun. Know what I think about
I think about the athletes, femaleathletes especially going there and if they decide

(24:30):
to have sex, right, whatif? Just what if? Because you
assume you want to assume they're allhaving protected sex. But if they don't,
and you know what happens. Whatif you've got your your your you
know, you're an Olympian and let'seven say you win the gold medal or
a silver, or you're just thereand you're planning on being back in four
years, and what if you getpregnant. I mean, honestly, I'd

(24:52):
like to look at the stats ofthat, because you know, it's gotta
it has to have happened at leastonce or twice. Well, depends on
the female athletes. Frankly, somany of depending on their sport, but
some of them probably are not menstruatingregularly because their body fat is so low.
I've heard this. I've heard this. Yeah, so that's so my
guess is they're not. Yeah,so you know, hopefully they're using protection

(25:15):
both to avoid STIs and for pregnancy. But yeah, I mean they give
out what do they say? Ithink this year three hundred thousand condoms they
have in the Olympic Village and it'sa few miles north of downtown Paris,
and it's spread out over three likelocations, three little towns, the Olympic

(25:37):
Village. Anyway, I was readingup on it. So but anyway,
hopefully this article on my interview makesan interesting splash in the news and my
take on it as a sociologist,so well, congrats on that, thank
you. Yeah, it's neat thistype of stuff's fun. I love these
conversations. I like doing interviews likethis. It's really fun and it's fun
to prepare for them too. Well, guess I'm going worldwide once again.

(26:03):
Hopefully that's what I'm shooting for.Just remember the little people. Speaking of
that, somebody just told me there'sa band called Mini Kiss. You're just
learning this. You don't heard manykiss? Are they? Are they local?
Are they national? So this iskiss people who musicians a band who

(26:26):
dresses as Kiss and performs. Butthey were all little people. They're all
under like four feet and I don'tknow about under four feet, but they're
officially little people. Yes, yeah, I think they go all. I
believe they perform all over the world. That's freaking awesome. Have you seen
them? No, but I've seenthat, like I've watched videos and stuff.
I'm looking at a picture right now, and I mean, what a

(26:49):
funny shtick to have. Yoh yeah, yeah, I mean you should look
it up right now on Google MiniKiss and look up the yellow background picture
them holding all that. Well,it doesn't matter. Plenty of great pictures
of them. They've met the realkiss and yeah, in fact, is
this a picture of all of themtogether, Ah, not all of them,
but there's Minie Paul Stanley, MiniJeene Simmons, Minnie Peter Cris and

(27:12):
then the pictures not big enough,I don't think, but it's I'm enlarging
it here. Oh I see theyellow one. Now talk a yellow background.
It's funny kiss. Yeh, everybodyat home. You should google Mini
Kiss and look at images. Yep, what a funny idea. I love
it. In fact, I think, what is it this year? Mini

(27:33):
Kiss the hottest little show in LasVegas? Friday May twenty fourth through Saturday
July sixth, then August seventh throughSeptember twentieth or August seventeenth. I think
this is twenty twenty four. Itdoesn't say, oh, that's it.
So this was somebody who because Junetwentieth that they were at the San Diego
County Fair. So that must havebeen some friend I played beach volleyball with
and that's where they saw them.Yeah, oh my god, that's so

(27:56):
funny. Yeah. Anyway, wellthat was Yes, that was my ending
thought. You got anything to teasefor next week? Huh? You know,
I've got a couple of topics thatI'm finding on for the morning radio
prep. Unfortunately for me, Ijust can't remember what they are there in
another folder, but I do keepa folder of things that should be good
for our podcast, so and Iapologize for not having that ready, but

(28:17):
I do have a couple of topics, right, Yeah, I'm in all
right, all right, doctor Jen, sincerely on the menopause. I do
hope that that how can I putit, I hope that that goes as
smoothly as it possibly can. Yeah. I hope it just feels helpful with
the gynecologists tomorrow and that I canget a little relief for some of these

(28:40):
symptoms. I am so thank youmuch appreciated. All Right, until next
week, Yes, ma'am, havea great day, bah,