June 16, 2024 • 25 mins
Dr. Jenn quizzes Clint on old-school and new acronyms from dating sites...and then they make up their own! Plus, what are annoying things that men think are cool or attractive but are turn-offs to women?
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Doctor, Jan, what do youhave on the menu, because I know
I've got something for us, Ah, Clint, I have. So my
friend Sarah, who you recently metin person, who's a big fan of
our show and when it's the Compassionnonprofit. Anyway, she sent me an
article. She texted it to meBBC and literally said, maybe you and
Clint can talk about this, andI was like, perfect, So it
(00:22):
is. I am going to begoing through acronyms. You know how acronyms
are used in dating, especially likedating apps and stuff. So I'm going
to be quizzing you on some ofthose, some old school ones and new
ones to see if you know whatthey stand for. All right, let's
let's do it. You want toyou want to dive in? Yeah?
And then after that, I gotsome things men think are attractive but aren't.
(00:43):
Oh you mean like holding up bigfish and photos on dating apps.
You know what. I might agreewith you on that one. Some of
these pissed me off the way theycome across with it. Oh wait,
that the men come across or thatwomen are complaining about it. Uh,
well both, but mainly women.Well I'll explain in a few minutes.
But there's a woman on TikTok whoher delivery is absolute garbage. She comes
(01:06):
across as such like I wanted towrite in the comments who recently dumped you
to piss you off like this becauseshe was. But she's getting hits.
I mean, good for her.She's getting her hints. Well, she
found her way to you somehow,so did Okay, Okay, let's look
at okay, So here's two oldschool Okay, so you know dating apps
(01:30):
and like especially when they used tobe when classify its right? The personals
is that what they we called them? Uh huh, and used to have
them in the newspaper, right,and you only have like two lines.
It was so shorter, like you'dhave to pay for more. So I
think that's where the idea came from, because because I first one of the
ones, I like BBB like bigblack and beautiful for like black women and
(01:56):
stuff. So I remember, andit makes sense when you have so few.
But then you know today people arestill using things like that even though
they have a lot more. Uhyou know, territory to rate information on.
It's not the word I was lookingfor anyway. Okay, So here's
an old school one g s oh, I don't remember this one.
(02:19):
H get some on here. That'spretty good. No, it's not.
No, but but you know whatyou could put this because you just made
me laugh and that means that youhave an l a good sense of humor.
(02:42):
Yes, I was yeah, yeah, okay. And then this one,
which is so funny because it seemsso unnecessary. W l t M
w l t M. It's unnecessarybecause the thing is you're there to meet
other people, So why would youneed to say this w t l M
(03:05):
w l t M, would wouldhold on? Would like to meet?
Yes? Good, that is dumb. And the reason I got it was
because you said you're already here.Why would we need this in your exactly?
Yeah? Okay, I knew thisone. So these are current ones
now, E n M uh nomore. Enter, I'm gonna put the
(03:31):
hat on all of mine. Nomore? Yeah or enter no more?
It is I give you a hint. So folks who are thinking outside the
box and the type of relationship thatthey would like, Okay, give me
the give me the three letters again, E N M. Think about what
(03:54):
the M might mean, what wouldbe what's the assumption of of how people
are supposed to be in a relationship, but lots of people don't want to
do it because they want to opentheir relationships. Well, I think the
might stand for monogamy, yes,ending e n M ending end no monogamy,
(04:20):
ethical non monogamy. Ah okay,yeah, so that's a yeah,
ethical non monogamy, consensual non monogamyout of those the terms. But I
just took a nap because I reallyneeded it. But I think I'm still
dopey. I'm having trouble with words. I took like a twenty minute power
nap and that for once in sixyears, you're on the level. And
(04:42):
I think so I was like,I have struggle with words here. Yeah,
okay, let's see, let mefind anyway. So this BBC article
is saying about how acronyms can bekind of off putting because somebody's like,
well because also because a lot ofthe act nyms are like f w B.
You know that one that's an that'sthat's been around for a while,
(05:05):
hold on, fuck white bread.Like I don't know, I just took
a sip of my protein shakey maybealmost spin it up, like, hey,
do you like white guys? Youwhite bread? It's friends with benefits
(05:27):
known that yeah yeah, and thenO N S. I actually didn't even
know that one, but it makessense because you should just directly say it.
This is somebody who really isn't lookingfor much. They're just looking for
one thing. Okay, one nightstand. Probably it's really similar. Let
(05:51):
me see if there's anything else.This is kind of fun. Uh,
this one, This one can behelpful to put on dating apps because only
the people in the know are gonnaknow, and that can matter. GGG
do you know that one? Good? God gorgeous? So good? Is
(06:15):
right? Good? Yeah? Yeah? Good? I'm like acting good giver,
good giving. I really played charades. I try to act out good
giving, gal good giving and game. So this is something that folks in
(06:40):
like the king community would use.They're good in bed, they give equally
to their partner and are game totry new things in the bedroom. As
soon as you said good giving andgame, I knew exactly that's what a
nice. I don't know how good. I don't know how to act out
a giving. I helped you get, but I couldn't figure out gay.
How do I act out game?And how? Doctor? Yeah, we're
(07:04):
on zoom so I can see herwith the camera. All right, I
got okay, one more for you. That's what made me snort. D
d l G uh d d lg. Ah, it's damn dumb large
(07:31):
girl. Uh funny, it's actuallylittle girl and it's daddy dumb little girl.
Oh that's kind of me. I'mnot even sure exactly what that means.
I think she means she's into bd M and she'll be she wants
you to be her daddy. Iguess so, or she wants to spank
(07:53):
daddy. It's just odd. That'san odd way of putting things together,
of saying, yeah, this guy'slike a next told me what d d
LG means, which I thought wasstrange to put it lightly. Is that
a guy? Uh yeah, Icould totally tell you. Oh yeah that
(08:13):
was That was my twenty four yearold mechanical engineer for Boston. Yeah.
Oh, I should have had anEnglish accent. This is a BBC.
Damn it lost opportunity. All right, I think that's it. I don't
know if there was anything else that'sgood in here. Oh, we should
make up our own Yeah, weshould actually l live in large Okay,
(08:41):
I don't know if that's already outthere. Probably l lb F likes big
fingers. Oh, I thought youwere gonna say likes big farts. That's
fair farts. How about this?Oh I t B oh, I t
(09:05):
B only into Oh you're close twinbabes on the But I don't think you
mean that, not for me.I'm just making up an acronym. I'm
making up ones that were about me. Oh oh, then in that case,
(09:26):
I got one for me. El A n elan ever early.
Oh uh, think about what I'malways talking about, well, ejaculation.
(09:50):
I give you that sign with myhand in my mouth, and you say,
ejaculate No, haven't ever, thankyou? No, I didn't do
this. I know I did thiseating large, no eating eating laughing.
(10:13):
No? Is it all like asentence that has to do with eating?
Sure? Well, I mean yeah, it's just more of a I'll say
this, it's sort of a nowI put it eating, and I'll just
give you this hit. If youdon't get it from this, and you're
not gonna get I don't think whenthe sun's not up, eating late at
night, there it is. Lookat you. You got it from that?
(10:37):
Yeah that's not sexual. Oh okay, then I got one. I
got one. All right, ithas been a long time since you've dated.
I can tell it is okay ltEC long term late heart. He's
(11:01):
okay, he's he's showing me aheart love love. Two eat clits.
Well, it was gonna be clammed, but yes, oh, all right,
(11:24):
there we go. No, I'mwe're good. Damn, you're kind
of guessing those. I have towrite them down. Actually, I was
writing them all down. I haveto see the letters and then and then
it's fun. I was going tosay electrifying clits, but that's weird,
so I wouldn't know. I Ino. I played with some electricity stuff,
a little like tingling on the bodystuff, but not on like really
(11:46):
sensitive parts. This was at apart, like a couple of parties I
was at. Somebody had like somemachinery around that. I forgot about that
till now. I never even thoughtabout that before. Yeah. Wow,
all right, all right, Iwant to know this article that was pissing
you off. Well, so it'snot necessarily well, I guess it is
an article. It's basically content forthe radio that I want to use on
(12:07):
KGB, but we haven't yet.But what started it was a woman on
TikTok is where I saw this,and her delivery is just is she just
like like super like angry kind ofa yeah, kind of like she just
comes across as we're all dumb asses, And yeah, how old is she?
She looked to be in her maybeearly thirties maybe yeah, something like
(12:31):
that. But here's this. SoI typed up as fast as I could
what she was saying. So,you know, what, what are things
that men do that that they thinkare attractive but actually aren't. And there's
a TikTok influencer who saw the discussionand delivered a list on her channel some
of the things men think are attractivebut aren't. She says, being overly
(12:54):
masculine, the alpha male act isoff putting. Most women prefer men who
are genuine and down to earth.But the way she delivered it, Now,
here's the thing, But what isbeing overly masculine? This is what
bothers me about articles like this andstatements like this, Yeah, what is
the definition of an alpha male?You can be an alpha male right and
still be polite and kind. AndI think what makes me upset about this?
(13:15):
Doctor Jen, And you're the perfectperson to talk to it because maybe
you'll talk me out of it ortell me now you're kind of right,
or maybe I'm overboard with it.I think we've gone so far the other
way about being men that were ashamedto be men that really bothers me.
I think there is a part ofthat in some parts of our society.
I agree, And I don't thinkthat's helpful at all. And I don't
think that's good for young men growingup and trying to find their voice in
their way and their roles. No, I don't think any of it's good.
(13:39):
I agree. Okay, so there'sthat one. And then loud vehicles.
Rather than impressing women, loud vehiclesoften make them cringe or even laugh
at how immature it seems. Here'sthe thing, though, what she puts
in there is cars and motorcycles.Let me tell you my motorcycle's fairly loud.
There is a reason for that.You ever heard the term loud pipes
save lives? Yeah? Okay,now here's the thing. Mine is not
(14:03):
overly loud. There are times thatI hear bikes and see guys and gals
revving their motor going through neighborhoods.To me, right and like you know,
people are sitting outside and like eatingmeals and stuff like that. I
hate that. And then all oncethey rev up their engines and it smells
and it's like you can't even hearyour conversation. I was like, you
(14:24):
know, we're all here, like, why are you being dicks? Okay,
So in that case, this againthough that she needs to specify though,
because I have had a car comingover on me at one time or
another where because of my pipes.The woman looked over, grabbed her husband
and yanked him back over the otherlanes. Now he would have missed me
anyway, because I was. Iwas aware, But what if not?
(14:46):
So, so again needs to bea little bit more of I think an
explanation on that. Yeah. Sothen she goes into gym rats. While
staying fit is great, making theJim your entire personality is not sait.
My god, she's hitting all partsof your person out. Well, you
got fenced off about this. Iwas like, this is like a walk
down memory lane about Clint. Thisis great. Spending excessive hours working out
(15:09):
and neglecting relationships isn't appealing. Balanceis key. Now this part I agree
with. She said, Look ifyou're neglecting a relationship that's not appealing.
Balance is key. I agree withthat. Yeah, but that's that's literally
meaningless. You could say that abouteverything, like that's just stupid, and
it's just stupid. But that's theother part to that. What if you
(15:31):
if you met Okay, listen,doctor Jen. So let's say I met
my wife at the gym. Right, if I met my wife at the
gym and we were training hard togetherseparately and then together. Yeah, and
then let's just say, let's justsay she decided to stop working out at
some point, but I continue.Yeah, I don't think she or anyone
would have the right to be angryabout that. I'm not changing anything we
met doing that, right. Theonly the only difference to me would be
(15:54):
if you guys had kids and youhave a massive new responsibility. Everybody has
to give up old things they weredoing when you have children, like you
have to compromise. You're right sayingthis out loud. Honey, are you
near me? Yeah, I knowyou're leaving, but check this out.
So I don't know if you heardme talking about the gym. Doctor Jen
came back with, if you workout so much that you know that it
(16:17):
like once you have kids. Yeah, you do have to actually make a
you know what. I'm minute afterwe're done, when she gets back,
I'm going to share this list withher. I want to know what she
thinks about it. Yes, goright now, she's going. Oh,
she's going to the gym without me. You know what, you're neglecting our
relationship. What you're doing. Twoof them. I'm going tomorrow. I'm
(16:38):
going tomorrow for a free class oneo'clock. She she made me go to
a pilates class. Have you everdone pilates classes? Okay, babe,
thank you, I've never Pardon me, I'm sorry. I've never done a
plates class before. I've done likea small part of it, like just
tried it, like in our garagewith a little machine we had. Yeah,
(17:00):
so is it gonna yeah? Isit gonna be groundwork or are you
going to be on one of thereformer machines? Eyhun? I think they're
on reformer machines and they're in agym. That's stuff. I mean those
machines. She said, this isgonna it is, this is gonna be
great. Yeah, I want tohear about this. So this is another
thing and we can get into thisnext week or maybe whatever I've just last
night started to. My goal isto type up in my notes in my
(17:27):
phone what my must do is forthe next day are and trying for a
timeline because I've just noticed if Ido not, it just doesn't happen.
Ye, So and I can sharethat with you a little bit because I
think that is something that's pertinent toour podcast, because it's about self improvement.
Yeah, and I think, Imean I talk. I can't tell
(17:48):
you how often a homework assignment thatI give to couples that I'm working with
in couples coaching is around every youknow, Sunday evening. Pull your calend
together and look ahead to your weekand pick when are you going to have
your quality time? Yeah, youhave to be intentional about it. When
are you going to have some intimacytime or at least carve out time that
(18:08):
you can like lay quietly together andsnuggle without phones and utter interruptions. Like,
you have to be intentional with timeor else we lose our time.
So yeah, my therapist is onme right now about yes, even just
my own time alone, like literallyalone. She's like no one else not
to a restaurant, you know,everybody buy yourself. Yes, yeah,
(18:29):
And I told her about Idlewild,how I'm trying to bring a group out
there. She goes, well,what if you can't get the group together?
I go, I don't know,I'll just have to wait. She
goes, go alone, and Igo alone idle Wild overnight. You know,
bored i'd be. And she goes, oh, are you telling me
that you're bored with yourself? Ordo you bore yourself? Are you boring?
I feel? I don't think toother people, I go, but
to me, I am. Andshe goes, okay, she goes,
(18:51):
you know, and she goes,that's where you could meditate, you can
read a book, you can Ohmy god, it sounds delightful. Oh
no, you going around on ahike? Yeah, even said hike.
God you too, of course,while so, yes, yeah, he
just went there alone last year?Was it last week? Anyway? All
right, I'm getting off track,but we can get into that, because
I want to tell you about thelist maybe next week, because I know
you like the self improvement stuff.But then, gosh, dang it,
(19:11):
and even though my alarm's going togo off in two minutes, we still
have like six or seven. Soif you're doing okay, because then I
have the therapy play. But gamingaddicts. Unless you're a successful streamer,
excessive gaming is a turnoff. Spendingcountless hours on video games instead of engaging
in real life constrained relationships with moderationis important. Now, this one works
for me. She at least explainedthat, you know, unless you're a
(19:33):
successful streamer, you're actually making moneyoff of it. Yeah, so this
one, I was like, okay, I get it. Yeah, then
quick to anger, frequent outbursts ofanger, a major red flag, and
singles potential abuse of behavior in futureissues. Now, the way she went
on about this pissed me off.He went on to say that, you
know, she said a lot morethan this. It wasn't just frequent outbursts
(19:55):
of anger or a major red flag. She went into almost like if you
get asked, not if you getangry at all. But she just went
into it a little too too muchwhere it's like, oh, I don't
deserve to be angry. Ever,her it was almost you know, it's
funny. It's funny because when yousaid, you're like, yeah, she
was going off about anger, andthat really pissed me off. Right,
(20:15):
Yeah, so I see, maybebecause she's so fucking annoying, that's why
people are so angry at her allthe time, Right, that's what I
thought. That way she by theway, I know, I mean sort
of a joke. It's sort ofthough, I mean, she is she's
clearly pushing buttons. And no,she's definitely looking for hits and she's getting
(20:36):
them. And she's also, Ican tell, very very jaded. So
there's my alarm. But hold on, I can, okay, I can,
I can hold on. But howmany views did she have on this
video? She's got just three more? No, no, how many views?
Do you know? How popular wasit? Oh? I don't you
know? At the time, Ithink she had. Oh, I'm sure
it's a few hundred thousand, ifnot more than that. Now it's a
(20:56):
lot. Oh, it's frustrating.Yeah, But then she says not going
to therapy. Self growth isn't justfor women. Addressing emotional and psychological issues
is vital for a healthy partnership.Here's what I don't like. Self growth
isn't just for women. Well,who fucking ever said it was? Nobody
ever said it was. She's assumingthat men don't. Just by her statement,
(21:17):
self growth isn't just for women,don't, right? Well, right,
yeah, I think. I meantraditionally women have been more likely to
do stuff like that. They're stillmuch more likely to seek things out,
to go to the to go toa doctor, to find self help books.
So it still is women that aremore likely to do that. And
(21:41):
in certain sub populations in our UnitedStates and cultural populations, it is still
if there's a lot of machismo inthe culture, that still is very much
a place where men are like,I'm not going to therapy, that's stupid.
So there are parts of our societythat still very much view that way,
and depends by age also older generations. Now see that's funny. I
(22:03):
as far as the circle I runin, it's like, I know,
I could name eight or nine malefriends who openly admit going too, but
then a single female other than you. So it's so weird that I'm the
opposite. Like I think, whenI thought, are you are? Do
you is it more likely that youhave men that open up to you because
(22:26):
you are a man that they canbe open to, and you have close
dudes that you're more likely to haveconversations like that with I guess you yeah,
maybe to your point. Yeah,and and and also I think you're
right, you do, you're right, And you didn't say this. I'm
acting like you did, but Ithink you might agree because I'm pretty open.
It allows them to be open sowe talk. Most guys would,
no, which is amazing. Imean you, I think right what you
(22:48):
who you are and what you've createdaround you is still not the norm for
men in our society to be ableto have vulnerable spaces like that with other
men. So what you're saying thatme and my ten friends that have a
cry circle that's not normal everything.No, that would make me so happy
if you did. No, youwould not really a cry circle. Well,
I mean a vulnerability circle. Yeah, okay, I like a vulnerability
(23:11):
sir circle. Amazing. But thatmen have a space and it's okay that
they tear up or cry, evenmen that haven't cried in twenty years,
and that no one's gonna judge himthere for it and they have a safe
space to do it. Yeah,that would be amazing. Hey, look,
I am all for that. Cryingis for woosi's but I'm all for
it. Yeah, there you go, that's helpful. That's exactly that's what
(23:32):
we're doing here. Oh oh wait, was that overly masculine thing? She
Oh, we just circle back tonumber one? Yeah, what the hell
are you talking about? Doctors?Bullshit? You're like I would show younger
ride over them, like really loudmotorcycle right now, I mean after I
go to the gym for four hoursand this is not quick to anger.
It took me thirty minutes to gethere, all right, I could see
(23:55):
why this article pissed you or thisvideo pissed you off. It's all all
all your things. Shoot, I'mgonna go right, I'm gonna so we're
two fifty eight dang, and Igotta got therapy. But two more things.
Maybe we just talked about it quicklytell Yeah, okay, aggressive driving,
she says, This goes back tobeing overly masculine or just immature.
Why are you gonna hurry? Howis someone in the passers seats supposed to
(24:15):
feel safe knowing that you're there's partsof that. I agree with the last
thing, alcohol consumption and bragging aboutit. Women like their alcoholic beverages too,
but planning your day around drinking notknowing when to stop or even sharing
stories about how much boos you canconsume without passing out is gross. But
she there, she goes quantifying again. Well, you can talk about alcohol.
You can even brag about it.When I say brag about it,
(24:36):
she means bragging about how much youdrink. But I like to brag about
bottles and go, man, thisis so good you I mean it's not
bra I see. Yeah. Ijust say she's quantified. She's just putting
it in a nutshell, which titlelike, Yeah, Well, I also
have to say, you need tomake things concise for social media today.
And she had a lot of pointsto put in there, and each one
she you know, oversimplified for sure, but I think those points are stolid,
(25:04):
but they all have nuance to them. So okay, you've got your
therapy in one minute, so youneed to go. All right, well,
doctor Jen, thank you have agreat Yeah. I am flying to
South Korea next Sunday night, andI'll be gone for like a week,
like eight days, nine days,so we're skipping next week. Okay,
no worries and just be safe andI can't wait to hear about it.
(25:26):
I have lots of interesting sex thingsto share when I get back. Last
thing before we go. You goingwith the Bahunk? Yeah? Yeah,
Because it's his work trip, I'mtagging along with. He was invited to
give a keynote like the their NationalCancer Conference in South Korea, and so
now I'm interested. I know I'llbe there. I want to hear about
it. Okay, thank
Doctor, Jan, what do youhave on the menu, because I know
I've got something for us, Ah, Clint, I have. So my
friend Sarah, who you recently metin person, who's a big fan of
our show and when it's the Compassionnonprofit. Anyway, she sent me an
article. She texted it to meBBC and literally said, maybe you and
Clint can talk about this, andI was like, perfect, So it
(00:22):
is. I am going to begoing through acronyms. You know how acronyms
are used in dating, especially likedating apps and stuff. So I'm going
to be quizzing you on some ofthose, some old school ones and new
ones to see if you know whatthey stand for. All right, let's
let's do it. You want toyou want to dive in? Yeah?
And then after that, I gotsome things men think are attractive but aren't.
(00:43):
Oh you mean like holding up bigfish and photos on dating apps.
You know what. I might agreewith you on that one. Some of
these pissed me off the way theycome across with it. Oh wait,
that the men come across or thatwomen are complaining about it. Uh,
well both, but mainly women.Well I'll explain in a few minutes.
But there's a woman on TikTok whoher delivery is absolute garbage. She comes
(01:06):
across as such like I wanted towrite in the comments who recently dumped you
to piss you off like this becauseshe was. But she's getting hits.
I mean, good for her.She's getting her hints. Well, she
found her way to you somehow,so did Okay, Okay, let's look
at okay, So here's two oldschool Okay, so you know dating apps
(01:30):
and like especially when they used tobe when classify its right? The personals
is that what they we called them? Uh huh, and used to have
them in the newspaper, right,and you only have like two lines.
It was so shorter, like you'dhave to pay for more. So I
think that's where the idea came from, because because I first one of the
ones, I like BBB like bigblack and beautiful for like black women and
(01:56):
stuff. So I remember, andit makes sense when you have so few.
But then you know today people arestill using things like that even though
they have a lot more. Uhyou know, territory to rate information on.
It's not the word I was lookingfor anyway. Okay, So here's
an old school one g s oh, I don't remember this one.
(02:19):
H get some on here. That'spretty good. No, it's not.
No, but but you know whatyou could put this because you just made
me laugh and that means that youhave an l a good sense of humor.
(02:42):
Yes, I was yeah, yeah, okay. And then this one,
which is so funny because it seemsso unnecessary. W l t M
w l t M. It's unnecessarybecause the thing is you're there to meet
other people, So why would youneed to say this w t l M
(03:05):
w l t M, would wouldhold on? Would like to meet?
Yes? Good, that is dumb. And the reason I got it was
because you said you're already here.Why would we need this in your exactly?
Yeah? Okay, I knew thisone. So these are current ones
now, E n M uh nomore. Enter, I'm gonna put the
(03:31):
hat on all of mine. Nomore? Yeah or enter no more?
It is I give you a hint. So folks who are thinking outside the
box and the type of relationship thatthey would like, Okay, give me
the give me the three letters again, E N M. Think about what
(03:54):
the M might mean, what wouldbe what's the assumption of of how people
are supposed to be in a relationship, but lots of people don't want to
do it because they want to opentheir relationships. Well, I think the
might stand for monogamy, yes,ending e n M ending end no monogamy,
(04:20):
ethical non monogamy. Ah okay,yeah, so that's a yeah,
ethical non monogamy, consensual non monogamyout of those the terms. But I
just took a nap because I reallyneeded it. But I think I'm still
dopey. I'm having trouble with words. I took like a twenty minute power
nap and that for once in sixyears, you're on the level. And
(04:42):
I think so I was like,I have struggle with words here. Yeah,
okay, let's see, let mefind anyway. So this BBC article
is saying about how acronyms can bekind of off putting because somebody's like,
well because also because a lot ofthe act nyms are like f w B.
You know that one that's an that'sthat's been around for a while,
(05:05):
hold on, fuck white bread.Like I don't know, I just took
a sip of my protein shakey maybealmost spin it up, like, hey,
do you like white guys? Youwhite bread? It's friends with benefits
(05:27):
known that yeah yeah, and thenO N S. I actually didn't even
know that one, but it makessense because you should just directly say it.
This is somebody who really isn't lookingfor much. They're just looking for
one thing. Okay, one nightstand. Probably it's really similar. Let
(05:51):
me see if there's anything else.This is kind of fun. Uh,
this one, This one can behelpful to put on dating apps because only
the people in the know are gonnaknow, and that can matter. GGG
do you know that one? Good? God gorgeous? So good? Is
(06:15):
right? Good? Yeah? Yeah? Good? I'm like acting good giver,
good giving. I really played charades. I try to act out good
giving, gal good giving and game. So this is something that folks in
(06:40):
like the king community would use.They're good in bed, they give equally
to their partner and are game totry new things in the bedroom. As
soon as you said good giving andgame, I knew exactly that's what a
nice. I don't know how good. I don't know how to act out
a giving. I helped you get, but I couldn't figure out gay.
How do I act out game?And how? Doctor? Yeah, we're
(07:04):
on zoom so I can see herwith the camera. All right, I
got okay, one more for you. That's what made me snort. D
d l G uh d d lg. Ah, it's damn dumb large
(07:31):
girl. Uh funny, it's actuallylittle girl and it's daddy dumb little girl.
Oh that's kind of me. I'mnot even sure exactly what that means.
I think she means she's into bd M and she'll be she wants
you to be her daddy. Iguess so, or she wants to spank
(07:53):
daddy. It's just odd. That'san odd way of putting things together,
of saying, yeah, this guy'slike a next told me what d d
LG means, which I thought wasstrange to put it lightly. Is that
a guy? Uh yeah, Icould totally tell you. Oh yeah that
(08:13):
was That was my twenty four yearold mechanical engineer for Boston. Yeah.
Oh, I should have had anEnglish accent. This is a BBC.
Damn it lost opportunity. All right, I think that's it. I don't
know if there was anything else that'sgood in here. Oh, we should
make up our own Yeah, weshould actually l live in large Okay,
(08:41):
I don't know if that's already outthere. Probably l lb F likes big
fingers. Oh, I thought youwere gonna say likes big farts. That's
fair farts. How about this?Oh I t B oh, I t
(09:05):
B only into Oh you're close twinbabes on the But I don't think you
mean that, not for me.I'm just making up an acronym. I'm
making up ones that were about me. Oh oh, then in that case,
(09:26):
I got one for me. El A n elan ever early.
Oh uh, think about what I'malways talking about, well, ejaculation.
(09:50):
I give you that sign with myhand in my mouth, and you say,
ejaculate No, haven't ever, thankyou? No, I didn't do
this. I know I did thiseating large, no eating eating laughing.
(10:13):
No? Is it all like asentence that has to do with eating?
Sure? Well, I mean yeah, it's just more of a I'll say
this, it's sort of a nowI put it eating, and I'll just
give you this hit. If youdon't get it from this, and you're
not gonna get I don't think whenthe sun's not up, eating late at
night, there it is. Lookat you. You got it from that?
(10:37):
Yeah that's not sexual. Oh okay, then I got one. I
got one. All right, ithas been a long time since you've dated.
I can tell it is okay ltEC long term late heart. He's
(11:01):
okay, he's he's showing me aheart love love. Two eat clits.
Well, it was gonna be clammed, but yes, oh, all right,
(11:24):
there we go. No, I'mwe're good. Damn, you're kind
of guessing those. I have towrite them down. Actually, I was
writing them all down. I haveto see the letters and then and then
it's fun. I was going tosay electrifying clits, but that's weird,
so I wouldn't know. I Ino. I played with some electricity stuff,
a little like tingling on the bodystuff, but not on like really
(11:46):
sensitive parts. This was at apart, like a couple of parties I
was at. Somebody had like somemachinery around that. I forgot about that
till now. I never even thoughtabout that before. Yeah. Wow,
all right, all right, Iwant to know this article that was pissing
you off. Well, so it'snot necessarily well, I guess it is
an article. It's basically content forthe radio that I want to use on
(12:07):
KGB, but we haven't yet.But what started it was a woman on
TikTok is where I saw this,and her delivery is just is she just
like like super like angry kind ofa yeah, kind of like she just
comes across as we're all dumb asses, And yeah, how old is she?
She looked to be in her maybeearly thirties maybe yeah, something like
(12:31):
that. But here's this. SoI typed up as fast as I could
what she was saying. So,you know, what, what are things
that men do that that they thinkare attractive but actually aren't. And there's
a TikTok influencer who saw the discussionand delivered a list on her channel some
of the things men think are attractivebut aren't. She says, being overly
(12:54):
masculine, the alpha male act isoff putting. Most women prefer men who
are genuine and down to earth.But the way she delivered it, Now,
here's the thing, But what isbeing overly masculine? This is what
bothers me about articles like this andstatements like this, Yeah, what is
the definition of an alpha male?You can be an alpha male right and
still be polite and kind. AndI think what makes me upset about this?
(13:15):
Doctor Jen, And you're the perfectperson to talk to it because maybe
you'll talk me out of it ortell me now you're kind of right,
or maybe I'm overboard with it.I think we've gone so far the other
way about being men that were ashamedto be men that really bothers me.
I think there is a part ofthat in some parts of our society.
I agree, And I don't thinkthat's helpful at all. And I don't
think that's good for young men growingup and trying to find their voice in
their way and their roles. No, I don't think any of it's good.
(13:39):
I agree. Okay, so there'sthat one. And then loud vehicles.
Rather than impressing women, loud vehiclesoften make them cringe or even laugh
at how immature it seems. Here'sthe thing, though, what she puts
in there is cars and motorcycles.Let me tell you my motorcycle's fairly loud.
There is a reason for that.You ever heard the term loud pipes
save lives? Yeah? Okay,now here's the thing. Mine is not
(14:03):
overly loud. There are times thatI hear bikes and see guys and gals
revving their motor going through neighborhoods.To me, right and like you know,
people are sitting outside and like eatingmeals and stuff like that. I
hate that. And then all oncethey rev up their engines and it smells
and it's like you can't even hearyour conversation. I was like, you
(14:24):
know, we're all here, like, why are you being dicks? Okay,
So in that case, this againthough that she needs to specify though,
because I have had a car comingover on me at one time or
another where because of my pipes.The woman looked over, grabbed her husband
and yanked him back over the otherlanes. Now he would have missed me
anyway, because I was. Iwas aware, But what if not?
(14:46):
So, so again needs to bea little bit more of I think an
explanation on that. Yeah. Sothen she goes into gym rats. While
staying fit is great, making theJim your entire personality is not sait.
My god, she's hitting all partsof your person out. Well, you
got fenced off about this. Iwas like, this is like a walk
down memory lane about Clint. Thisis great. Spending excessive hours working out
(15:09):
and neglecting relationships isn't appealing. Balanceis key. Now this part I agree
with. She said, Look ifyou're neglecting a relationship that's not appealing.
Balance is key. I agree withthat. Yeah, but that's that's literally
meaningless. You could say that abouteverything, like that's just stupid, and
it's just stupid. But that's theother part to that. What if you
(15:31):
if you met Okay, listen,doctor Jen. So let's say I met
my wife at the gym. Right, if I met my wife at the
gym and we were training hard togetherseparately and then together. Yeah, and
then let's just say, let's justsay she decided to stop working out at
some point, but I continue.Yeah, I don't think she or anyone
would have the right to be angryabout that. I'm not changing anything we
met doing that, right. Theonly the only difference to me would be
(15:54):
if you guys had kids and youhave a massive new responsibility. Everybody has
to give up old things they weredoing when you have children, like you
have to compromise. You're right sayingthis out loud. Honey, are you
near me? Yeah, I knowyou're leaving, but check this out.
So I don't know if you heardme talking about the gym. Doctor Jen
came back with, if you workout so much that you know that it
(16:17):
like once you have kids. Yeah, you do have to actually make a
you know what. I'm minute afterwe're done, when she gets back,
I'm going to share this list withher. I want to know what she
thinks about it. Yes, goright now, she's going. Oh,
she's going to the gym without me. You know what, you're neglecting our
relationship. What you're doing. Twoof them. I'm going tomorrow. I'm
(16:38):
going tomorrow for a free class oneo'clock. She she made me go to
a pilates class. Have you everdone pilates classes? Okay, babe,
thank you, I've never Pardon me, I'm sorry. I've never done a
plates class before. I've done likea small part of it, like just
tried it, like in our garagewith a little machine we had. Yeah,
(17:00):
so is it gonna yeah? Isit gonna be groundwork or are you
going to be on one of thereformer machines? Eyhun? I think they're
on reformer machines and they're in agym. That's stuff. I mean those
machines. She said, this isgonna it is, this is gonna be
great. Yeah, I want tohear about this. So this is another
thing and we can get into thisnext week or maybe whatever I've just last
night started to. My goal isto type up in my notes in my
(17:27):
phone what my must do is forthe next day are and trying for a
timeline because I've just noticed if Ido not, it just doesn't happen.
Ye, So and I can sharethat with you a little bit because I
think that is something that's pertinent toour podcast, because it's about self improvement.
Yeah, and I think, Imean I talk. I can't tell
(17:48):
you how often a homework assignment thatI give to couples that I'm working with
in couples coaching is around every youknow, Sunday evening. Pull your calend
together and look ahead to your weekand pick when are you going to have
your quality time? Yeah, youhave to be intentional about it. When
are you going to have some intimacytime or at least carve out time that
(18:08):
you can like lay quietly together andsnuggle without phones and utter interruptions. Like,
you have to be intentional with timeor else we lose our time.
So yeah, my therapist is onme right now about yes, even just
my own time alone, like literallyalone. She's like no one else not
to a restaurant, you know,everybody buy yourself. Yes, yeah,
(18:29):
And I told her about Idlewild,how I'm trying to bring a group out
there. She goes, well,what if you can't get the group together?
I go, I don't know,I'll just have to wait. She
goes, go alone, and Igo alone idle Wild overnight. You know,
bored i'd be. And she goes, oh, are you telling me
that you're bored with yourself? Ordo you bore yourself? Are you boring?
I feel? I don't think toother people, I go, but
to me, I am. Andshe goes, okay, she goes,
(18:51):
you know, and she goes,that's where you could meditate, you can
read a book, you can Ohmy god, it sounds delightful. Oh
no, you going around on ahike? Yeah, even said hike.
God you too, of course,while so, yes, yeah, he
just went there alone last year?Was it last week? Anyway? All
right, I'm getting off track,but we can get into that, because
I want to tell you about thelist maybe next week, because I know
you like the self improvement stuff.But then, gosh, dang it,
(19:11):
and even though my alarm's going togo off in two minutes, we still
have like six or seven. Soif you're doing okay, because then I
have the therapy play. But gamingaddicts. Unless you're a successful streamer,
excessive gaming is a turnoff. Spendingcountless hours on video games instead of engaging
in real life constrained relationships with moderationis important. Now, this one works
for me. She at least explainedthat, you know, unless you're a
(19:33):
successful streamer, you're actually making moneyoff of it. Yeah, so this
one, I was like, okay, I get it. Yeah, then
quick to anger, frequent outbursts ofanger, a major red flag, and
singles potential abuse of behavior in futureissues. Now, the way she went
on about this pissed me off.He went on to say that, you
know, she said a lot morethan this. It wasn't just frequent outbursts
(19:55):
of anger or a major red flag. She went into almost like if you
get asked, not if you getangry at all. But she just went
into it a little too too muchwhere it's like, oh, I don't
deserve to be angry. Ever,her it was almost you know, it's
funny. It's funny because when yousaid, you're like, yeah, she
was going off about anger, andthat really pissed me off. Right,
(20:15):
Yeah, so I see, maybebecause she's so fucking annoying, that's why
people are so angry at her allthe time, Right, that's what I
thought. That way she by theway, I know, I mean sort
of a joke. It's sort ofthough, I mean, she is she's
clearly pushing buttons. And no,she's definitely looking for hits and she's getting
(20:36):
them. And she's also, Ican tell, very very jaded. So
there's my alarm. But hold on, I can, okay, I can,
I can hold on. But howmany views did she have on this
video? She's got just three more? No, no, how many views?
Do you know? How popular wasit? Oh? I don't you
know? At the time, Ithink she had. Oh, I'm sure
it's a few hundred thousand, ifnot more than that. Now it's a
(20:56):
lot. Oh, it's frustrating.Yeah, But then she says not going
to therapy. Self growth isn't justfor women. Addressing emotional and psychological issues
is vital for a healthy partnership.Here's what I don't like. Self growth
isn't just for women. Well,who fucking ever said it was? Nobody
ever said it was. She's assumingthat men don't. Just by her statement,
(21:17):
self growth isn't just for women,don't, right? Well, right,
yeah, I think. I meantraditionally women have been more likely to
do stuff like that. They're stillmuch more likely to seek things out,
to go to the to go toa doctor, to find self help books.
So it still is women that aremore likely to do that. And
(21:41):
in certain sub populations in our UnitedStates and cultural populations, it is still
if there's a lot of machismo inthe culture, that still is very much
a place where men are like,I'm not going to therapy, that's stupid.
So there are parts of our societythat still very much view that way,
and depends by age also older generations. Now see that's funny. I
(22:03):
as far as the circle I runin, it's like, I know,
I could name eight or nine malefriends who openly admit going too, but
then a single female other than you. So it's so weird that I'm the
opposite. Like I think, whenI thought, are you are? Do
you is it more likely that youhave men that open up to you because
(22:26):
you are a man that they canbe open to, and you have close
dudes that you're more likely to haveconversations like that with I guess you yeah,
maybe to your point. Yeah,and and and also I think you're
right, you do, you're right, And you didn't say this. I'm
acting like you did, but Ithink you might agree because I'm pretty open.
It allows them to be open sowe talk. Most guys would,
no, which is amazing. Imean you, I think right what you
(22:48):
who you are and what you've createdaround you is still not the norm for
men in our society to be ableto have vulnerable spaces like that with other
men. So what you're saying thatme and my ten friends that have a
cry circle that's not normal everything.No, that would make me so happy
if you did. No, youwould not really a cry circle. Well,
I mean a vulnerability circle. Yeah, okay, I like a vulnerability
(23:11):
sir circle. Amazing. But thatmen have a space and it's okay that
they tear up or cry, evenmen that haven't cried in twenty years,
and that no one's gonna judge himthere for it and they have a safe
space to do it. Yeah,that would be amazing. Hey, look,
I am all for that. Cryingis for woosi's but I'm all for
it. Yeah, there you go, that's helpful. That's exactly that's what
(23:32):
we're doing here. Oh oh wait, was that overly masculine thing? She
Oh, we just circle back tonumber one? Yeah, what the hell
are you talking about? Doctors?Bullshit? You're like I would show younger
ride over them, like really loudmotorcycle right now, I mean after I
go to the gym for four hoursand this is not quick to anger.
It took me thirty minutes to gethere, all right, I could see
(23:55):
why this article pissed you or thisvideo pissed you off. It's all all
all your things. Shoot, I'mgonna go right, I'm gonna so we're
two fifty eight dang, and Igotta got therapy. But two more things.
Maybe we just talked about it quicklytell Yeah, okay, aggressive driving,
she says, This goes back tobeing overly masculine or just immature.
Why are you gonna hurry? Howis someone in the passers seats supposed to
(24:15):
feel safe knowing that you're there's partsof that. I agree with the last
thing, alcohol consumption and bragging aboutit. Women like their alcoholic beverages too,
but planning your day around drinking notknowing when to stop or even sharing
stories about how much boos you canconsume without passing out is gross. But
she there, she goes quantifying again. Well, you can talk about alcohol.
You can even brag about it.When I say brag about it,
(24:36):
she means bragging about how much youdrink. But I like to brag about
bottles and go, man, thisis so good you I mean it's not
bra I see. Yeah. Ijust say she's quantified. She's just putting
it in a nutshell, which titlelike, Yeah, Well, I also
have to say, you need tomake things concise for social media today.
And she had a lot of pointsto put in there, and each one
she you know, oversimplified for sure, but I think those points are stolid,
(25:04):
but they all have nuance to them. So okay, you've got your
therapy in one minute, so youneed to go. All right, well,
doctor Jen, thank you have agreat Yeah. I am flying to
South Korea next Sunday night, andI'll be gone for like a week,
like eight days, nine days,so we're skipping next week. Okay,
no worries and just be safe andI can't wait to hear about it.
(25:26):
I have lots of interesting sex thingsto share when I get back. Last
thing before we go. You goingwith the Bahunk? Yeah? Yeah,
Because it's his work trip, I'mtagging along with. He was invited to
give a keynote like the their NationalCancer Conference in South Korea, and so
now I'm interested. I know I'llbe there. I want to hear about
it. Okay, thank
Sex Talk with Clint & The Doc News
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