Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And welcome to fifty five Carsy Morning Show. Maryon Ben's,
who is a we'll still call her a local author.
We won't hold it against HER's of Cincinnaia native, but
she did move to Atlanta in the nineties with her
husband and family. But she is a local author, and
she wrote a book. It's called You Were Still Dancing,
The Unforgettable Journey through Alzheimer's. Marion Ben's, welcome to the
Morning Show. It's great to have you on my program.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Thanks Brian, and I appreciate the introduction.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Well, you're more than welcome. I just give my little
readers a foundation so they know it's a local author.
I like to support local authors. I think it's really
kind of neat that we've gotten them in the audience
because there's some really talented folks out there. But your
book about Alzheimer's and Sadly you were. How old were
you when your grandmother experiences the challenge presented by Alzheimer's.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I was probably sixteen, mid teens. I would say I
was still living at home and my grandmother. When my
grandmother was diagnosed, she came to live with my family.
At that time, there were six kids in a time,
there were just two of us left, myself and my
brother Kevin, so Maul moved in. They looked at nursing
(01:12):
homes and small, small family homes my mom and her sister,
but they just couldn't come to an agreement on where
to leave her, and my mom just she wanted her
with us, so my grandmother moved in.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Well. Having lived through this with my father struggling with
Alzheimer's dimension, I ultimately ended his life the challenges presented
by having to care for a loved one, and not
just the emotional component, which is obviously overwhelming, but my
mom was just run down to the point of exhaustion
(01:48):
because you know, it's a literal twenty four hour day,
seven day a week proposition dealing with the challenges these
folks struggle with.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Right, you know, And that was my mom was also
work in part time, you know. I remember I was
in my summers, I was a cam counselor. And during
one of these years that my grandma was with us,
I came back in the fall and my mom had
aged overnight, and it was so dramatic for me and
(02:17):
traumatic to see that just in the short ten weeks
when I was gone, how much she had changed. And
you don't realize that I wasn't the primary caregiver. You know,
I was witnessing what was going on, but you don't
take the full blunt of caregiving as a teenager, even
(02:37):
even I would help mom, or we would sit my
brother and I would sit with mal so Mom and
Dad could go out. But it is absolutely a life
changing aging process for the caregiver. And you know that's
why I, you know, encourage people who talk to me
(02:59):
who are going through it to basically to take your
oxygen first, to take care of yourself, to make sure
that you're eating right. You know, of all the research
I did for this book, it's the Mediterranean diet is
the one diet that just kept popping up, kind of
went to the top of diets for people, not just
(03:20):
to prevent Alzheimer's, but just to lead a healthier lifestyle.
And that's one of the things that you know I
would recommend, but sleep, exercise, and then some form of
just clearing your mind. I meditated, you know, And another
really important thing is just taking people up on it,
(03:41):
on the offer to sit with your loved one or
finding someone who will sitting with their life, or paying
someone just sit with your life, because you need to
get away. You need to just step back from it.
And even if you're just going outside and taking a
small walk and just breathing the fresh air, but it's
all encompassing.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Mary and Ben's author of You were still dancing. This
Alzheimer's situation, though, developed further because once your grandmother, I
guess it was it after she passed that your mother
came down with the symptoms of Alzheimer's.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Yes, yes, my grandmother passed, and you know it was
it was another I would say fifteen twenty years when
Mom started showing the signs, but she actually you know,
Alzheimer's is now known to begin in the brain twenty
you know, two decades before the symptoms first appear. So
(04:39):
while we're out living our lives, there's a lot going
on inside our head that you know, we don't know
about now. Now, there is early testing if you're brave
enough to do it, and I haven't done that yet,
but I have friends that have, and I think you
really have to be careful to make sure that you
have the personality that can handle that. Maybe you have
(05:01):
an increased risk of developing Alzheimer's. I know myself if
if I forgot a word, which I sometimes do, Yeah,
the first place to know is I'm getting Alzheimer's, and
just advantage that might follow out.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Oh my god, Benz, I have the exact same reaction.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
You know.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
I'll be sixty in September and I like to just
pass it. I was like, jeez, Frian, you're getting old.
You're just not as sharp as you used to be.
And I'm struggling to find a word. But then again,
I immediately think of my father, and it's unsettling, to
say the least. So it is good, no, no, go.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Ahead in the absence of a cure, and there is
none right now that I think you really have to
weigh whether you can handle knowing that you have a
greater chance now. Of course you can go back to
all the things what do I need to do to
prevent it? But you still have to know if you
have the mindset that can you know, not go had
(06:00):
turled places whenever you know we're my keys, or you know,
you walk into a room and what did I come
in here for? And I think that we all do
it to some extent. So when you have a history
in your family. It's easy to go there, and then
it's easy to kind of become consumed bias. Yeah, that's
(06:20):
the you know, just to try to not go there.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah. Actually, I can see it bringing on full blown
depression if you, I mean, if you, if you're dwelling
on it enough. It's just it's terrib because the disease
is insidious. I mean it, I actually and I don't
know what that sounded like disrespect for my dad or
that I was happy he died, but what a weight
was looked that he was miserable, He didn't know who
(06:45):
anybody was. He laid in his bed and had no function,
you know, no control over his bowels, which is obviously
a common problem in these situations, which is one of
the reasons why you're tending to someone twenty four to seven. Uh,
it's it's just he I knew he was in a
better place, that he was released.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Right exactly. And and I believe that's the word. And
that's how I thought my grandmother. I felt like she
was just let go, she was released. And I think
that's just such a nice way to look at it.
And it really helps if you, if you it depends
on you know where you come from spiritually. But but
(07:25):
if you do believe that we are you know, we
are our soul, encompasses, are body or however you look
at it, you know, to be released from those chains,
and they really do hold you down when you have
a disease such as Alzheimer's.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Well, if you're faced with Alzheimer's in your family, what
having lived this now two times, you obviously saw it all,
how do you what do you recommend people to do
in terms of dealing with this challenge and maintain some
sort of I know you mentioned the exercise and taking
walks and all that related to caregiving, because it is exhausting,
But what about just coping with the general reality that
they're living with.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
What are your recommendations the reality that that the caregiver
lives with or the reality that the patient lives with.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
No the caregiver. I was thinking more of the caregiver,
because quite often the patient themselves loses any sense of
recollection or even ability to recognize you as a as
a relative, right, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
So for myself personally, I do and I think about
it every day. That's the first thing. I Alzheimer's is
no more than a couple of degrees away from you know,
my thought process wherever I am. I do believe strongly
in a one meditation. I know I spoke with that earlier,
but I can't emphasize that enough to even go into
(08:50):
like a deep breathing clearing your mind, just kind of
setting the tone for the day as you you know,
get I believe that I always start my day with exercise,
some form of yoga, some form of our Wilbek exercise,
and just try to, you know, give my body the
best chance I can to keep from you know, the
(09:13):
problem with Alzheimer's, it's not a problem. The issue with
Alzheimer's is that Alzheimer's is very much like any other
disease that affects the heart right. So if you have
high blood pressure, if you have high cholesterol, those those
need to be recognized and then they need to be
taken care of broad under control, whatever means that is.
(09:36):
I am on a satin I you know, I don't
feel like I should be out of statins because I'm
in state, and I eat right, and I exercise and
I try to do all the right things. But apparently
genetically I'm predisposed to having high cholesterol. You tried my
(09:57):
doctors ride to you know, do it you know with diet,
do it with exercise. He gave me a lot of time.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Well, let me strongly encourage you to look into bioidentical
hormone replacement therapy, which is what the Europeans do to
solve the cholesterol problem. Plus it really makes you feel good,
I mean really good. So Okay, bioidentical hormone replacement therapy.
You may your hormones could be out of balance, low estrogen,
low tester and whatever, what testoster, whatever happens to be.
But if you do some research on it, they don't
(10:27):
use statins in Europe from what I've been told by
physicians that I deal with. So just a thought, but
it also deals with a whole bunch of other problems,
you know, metapausal problems and you know, sexual desire, and uh,
I just it's it's it's kind of magical, if I
may be so bold as to say so, Marion Ben's Now,
I guess this book is recommended for anybody who is
(10:47):
dealing with the realities of Alzheimer's. Anybody who's got a
family member or a loved one or a friend who's
struggling with the disease, thoughts, comments, and how to deal
and cope with it all In the book, you were
Still Dancing, an unforgettable journey through Alzheimer's. By our Still,
we'll call her local author Mary and Ben's Marian. Thanks
for putting this down And I checked on Amazon. Everybody
(11:08):
loves it. You got a five star review there and
it came out June of last year. So I people
can get a copy of your book on my blog
page at fifty five krs dot com and I'll encourage
them to do that.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I really appreciate that, and I do think it's very
for her going to say.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
The process, yeah, and prayers to everybody who has to
deal with it. It's not a fun process. Mary, and
you have a wonderful Valentine's Day and a great weekend.
And I'll encourage my listeners to pick up a copy
of your book over my blog page fifty five krs
dot com. Take care and thanks for your time this morning.
And welcome to fifty five Carsy Morning Show. Maryon Ben's,
who is a we'll still call her a local author.
We won't hold it against HER's of Cincinnaia native, but
she did move to Atlanta in the nineties with her
husband and family. But she is a local author, and
she wrote a book. It's called You Were Still Dancing,
The Unforgettable Journey through Alzheimer's. Marion Ben's, welcome to the
Morning Show. It's great to have you on my program.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Thanks Brian, and I appreciate the introduction.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Well, you're more than welcome. I just give my little
readers a foundation so they know it's a local author.
I like to support local authors. I think it's really
kind of neat that we've gotten them in the audience
because there's some really talented folks out there. But your
book about Alzheimer's and Sadly you were. How old were
you when your grandmother experiences the challenge presented by Alzheimer's.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I was probably sixteen, mid teens. I would say I
was still living at home and my grandmother. When my
grandmother was diagnosed, she came to live with my family.
At that time, there were six kids in a time,
there were just two of us left, myself and my
brother Kevin, so Maul moved in. They looked at nursing
(01:12):
homes and small, small family homes my mom and her sister,
but they just couldn't come to an agreement on where
to leave her, and my mom just she wanted her
with us, so my grandmother moved in.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Well. Having lived through this with my father struggling with
Alzheimer's dimension, I ultimately ended his life the challenges presented
by having to care for a loved one, and not
just the emotional component, which is obviously overwhelming, but my
mom was just run down to the point of exhaustion
(01:48):
because you know, it's a literal twenty four hour day,
seven day a week proposition dealing with the challenges these
folks struggle with.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Right, you know, And that was my mom was also
work in part time, you know. I remember I was
in my summers, I was a cam counselor. And during
one of these years that my grandma was with us,
I came back in the fall and my mom had
aged overnight, and it was so dramatic for me and
(02:17):
traumatic to see that just in the short ten weeks
when I was gone, how much she had changed. And
you don't realize that I wasn't the primary caregiver. You know,
I was witnessing what was going on, but you don't
take the full blunt of caregiving as a teenager, even
(02:37):
even I would help mom, or we would sit my
brother and I would sit with mal so Mom and
Dad could go out. But it is absolutely a life
changing aging process for the caregiver. And you know that's
why I, you know, encourage people who talk to me
(02:59):
who are going through it to basically to take your
oxygen first, to take care of yourself, to make sure
that you're eating right. You know, of all the research
I did for this book, it's the Mediterranean diet is
the one diet that just kept popping up, kind of
went to the top of diets for people, not just
(03:20):
to prevent Alzheimer's, but just to lead a healthier lifestyle.
And that's one of the things that you know I
would recommend, but sleep, exercise, and then some form of
just clearing your mind. I meditated, you know, And another
really important thing is just taking people up on it,
(03:41):
on the offer to sit with your loved one or
finding someone who will sitting with their life, or paying
someone just sit with your life, because you need to
get away. You need to just step back from it.
And even if you're just going outside and taking a
small walk and just breathing the fresh air, but it's
all encompassing.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Mary and Ben's author of You were still dancing. This
Alzheimer's situation, though, developed further because once your grandmother, I
guess it was it after she passed that your mother
came down with the symptoms of Alzheimer's.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Yes, yes, my grandmother passed, and you know it was
it was another I would say fifteen twenty years when
Mom started showing the signs, but she actually you know,
Alzheimer's is now known to begin in the brain twenty
you know, two decades before the symptoms first appear. So
(04:39):
while we're out living our lives, there's a lot going
on inside our head that you know, we don't know
about now. Now, there is early testing if you're brave
enough to do it, and I haven't done that yet,
but I have friends that have, and I think you
really have to be careful to make sure that you
have the personality that can handle that. Maybe you have
(05:01):
an increased risk of developing Alzheimer's. I know myself if
if I forgot a word, which I sometimes do, Yeah,
the first place to know is I'm getting Alzheimer's, and
just advantage that might follow out.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Oh my god, Benz, I have the exact same reaction.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
You know.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
I'll be sixty in September and I like to just
pass it. I was like, jeez, Frian, you're getting old.
You're just not as sharp as you used to be.
And I'm struggling to find a word. But then again,
I immediately think of my father, and it's unsettling, to
say the least. So it is good, no, no, go.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Ahead in the absence of a cure, and there is
none right now that I think you really have to
weigh whether you can handle knowing that you have a
greater chance now. Of course you can go back to
all the things what do I need to do to
prevent it? But you still have to know if you
have the mindset that can you know, not go had
(06:00):
turled places whenever you know we're my keys, or you know,
you walk into a room and what did I come
in here for? And I think that we all do
it to some extent. So when you have a history
in your family. It's easy to go there, and then
it's easy to kind of become consumed bias. Yeah, that's
(06:20):
the you know, just to try to not go there.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah. Actually, I can see it bringing on full blown
depression if you, I mean, if you, if you're dwelling
on it enough. It's just it's terrib because the disease
is insidious. I mean it, I actually and I don't
know what that sounded like disrespect for my dad or
that I was happy he died, but what a weight
was looked that he was miserable, He didn't know who
(06:45):
anybody was. He laid in his bed and had no function,
you know, no control over his bowels, which is obviously
a common problem in these situations, which is one of
the reasons why you're tending to someone twenty four to seven. Uh,
it's it's just he I knew he was in a
better place, that he was released.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Right exactly. And and I believe that's the word. And
that's how I thought my grandmother. I felt like she
was just let go, she was released. And I think
that's just such a nice way to look at it.
And it really helps if you, if you it depends
on you know where you come from spiritually. But but
(07:25):
if you do believe that we are you know, we
are our soul, encompasses, are body or however you look
at it, you know, to be released from those chains,
and they really do hold you down when you have
a disease such as Alzheimer's.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Well, if you're faced with Alzheimer's in your family, what
having lived this now two times, you obviously saw it all,
how do you what do you recommend people to do
in terms of dealing with this challenge and maintain some
sort of I know you mentioned the exercise and taking
walks and all that related to caregiving, because it is exhausting,
But what about just coping with the general reality that
they're living with.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
What are your recommendations the reality that that the caregiver
lives with or the reality that the patient lives with.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
No the caregiver. I was thinking more of the caregiver,
because quite often the patient themselves loses any sense of
recollection or even ability to recognize you as a as
a relative, right, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
So for myself personally, I do and I think about
it every day. That's the first thing. I Alzheimer's is
no more than a couple of degrees away from you know,
my thought process wherever I am. I do believe strongly
in a one meditation. I know I spoke with that earlier,
but I can't emphasize that enough to even go into
(08:50):
like a deep breathing clearing your mind, just kind of
setting the tone for the day as you you know,
get I believe that I always start my day with exercise,
some form of yoga, some form of our Wilbek exercise,
and just try to, you know, give my body the
best chance I can to keep from you know, the
(09:13):
problem with Alzheimer's, it's not a problem. The issue with
Alzheimer's is that Alzheimer's is very much like any other
disease that affects the heart right. So if you have
high blood pressure, if you have high cholesterol, those those
need to be recognized and then they need to be
taken care of broad under control, whatever means that is.
(09:36):
I am on a satin I you know, I don't
feel like I should be out of statins because I'm
in state, and I eat right, and I exercise and
I try to do all the right things. But apparently
genetically I'm predisposed to having high cholesterol. You tried my
(09:57):
doctors ride to you know, do it you know with diet,
do it with exercise. He gave me a lot of time.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Well, let me strongly encourage you to look into bioidentical
hormone replacement therapy, which is what the Europeans do to
solve the cholesterol problem. Plus it really makes you feel good,
I mean really good. So Okay, bioidentical hormone replacement therapy.
You may your hormones could be out of balance, low estrogen,
low tester and whatever, what testoster, whatever happens to be.
But if you do some research on it, they don't
(10:27):
use statins in Europe from what I've been told by
physicians that I deal with. So just a thought, but
it also deals with a whole bunch of other problems,
you know, metapausal problems and you know, sexual desire, and uh,
I just it's it's it's kind of magical, if I
may be so bold as to say so, Marion Ben's Now,
I guess this book is recommended for anybody who is
(10:47):
dealing with the realities of Alzheimer's. Anybody who's got a
family member or a loved one or a friend who's
struggling with the disease, thoughts, comments, and how to deal
and cope with it all In the book, you were
Still Dancing, an unforgettable journey through Alzheimer's. By our Still,
we'll call her local author Mary and Ben's Marian. Thanks
for putting this down And I checked on Amazon. Everybody
(11:08):
loves it. You got a five star review there and
it came out June of last year. So I people
can get a copy of your book on my blog
page at fifty five krs dot com and I'll encourage
them to do that.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I really appreciate that, and I do think it's very
for her going to say.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
The process, yeah, and prayers to everybody who has to
deal with it. It's not a fun process. Mary, and
you have a wonderful Valentine's Day and a great weekend.
And I'll encourage my listeners to pick up a copy
of your book over my blog page fifty five krs
dot com. Take care and thanks for your time this morning.
Brian Thomas News
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Bobby Bones Show
Listen to 'The Bobby Bones Show' by downloading the daily full replay.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.