DEAD HANDS TEAM

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm not going to judge this.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
I'm not going to say emergency hard rolls. I'm just
going to bring people up to speed. If people don't know.
He pinched a nerve. Quinn over there.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Pinched a nerve, cracking his own neck. This pains me
to tell you the story.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Well, it's the truth. It's the truth.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
You know, you see people cracking their neck wherever. I mean,
I've been doing it for I don't know how many years. Crack, crack,
and you feel that relief.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
He pinched a nerve. Now, they can't feel it in
his hand. His doctor, something happened to his doctor, so
he had to go to the ER. And at the ER,
he's been ridiculed as much as we all want to
come down on him.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
For cracking my neck like an idiot.

Speaker 3 (00:35):
I'm the first one to admit to it before they
can get behind, like get after it and start criticizing.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
My fault. My fault. Right here.

Speaker 4 (00:43):
But now.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
I don't need it, but.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
With this hand that doesn't work you feel like there
are three pieces of karma that have come back or
four what are.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
They here's the fourth one that just came to me
just think about.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
This hi good night everybody huh oh god yeah fetterman
you've been laughing about that we've used that at the
end of the show every damn show we do you
picked that one fetterman yeah uh-huh there's that uh you
know we know our buddy uh uh jimmy is that
his name jimmy's been so long since i've seen jimmy
yes Jeb crapped his pants.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
I don't have that in front of me. I'm sorry. But,
you know, I crapped my pants. That's because he had
a stroke? I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:16):
We don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
But it's still making fun of him post-stroke.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
You don't even know. First of all, that's somebody's medical information.
If he wants it out there, he'll put it out there.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
If you're going to ask me a question, I'm going
to have to answer the best I can is my point.

Speaker 4 (01:28):
Okay, thank you. Try to just stay within the lines
of the law is all.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Morgan Freeman.

Speaker 4 (01:35):
Morgan Freeman wears a glove because he has a pinched nerve.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
I don't know if it's a pinched nerve what happened
to Morgan Freeman.

Speaker 4 (01:39):
Probably worse.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
His arm, his dead arm is clearly a liability to him.
And his fingers, I think, flare out and they can
catch on elevator doors and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
So he's got to keep that in mind. on here
looking at me like I don't know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 4 (01:52):
No, no, that's exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
No, dude, I had a substitute teacher throughout junior high
who wore a blue glove, a navy blue glove.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Oh, that's, oh.

Speaker 4 (01:59):
Yeah, I mean, I don't think we ever asked him.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:02):
And, and, and, and when he held the book.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
He didn't turn his hand. He just put it on
the back of his hand.

Speaker 4 (02:08):
On the glove. On the glove.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
I get that, man.

Speaker 4 (02:11):
I get that.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
It's easier.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
It's easier to flatten out the hand, let something rest
on it, than to try to hold the thing with
your fingers.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
And what's the fourth piece of karma that has led
to this dead hand?

Speaker 4 (02:20):
Because I think I know. Do you know? I think
you're missing one.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
I know it because I got thrown off.

Speaker 4 (02:24):
Your mouth and eyes are moving again.

Speaker 3 (02:25):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 (02:26):
Ostino!

Speaker 2 (02:27):
You've harvested that audio cut for fun for a year
as well.

Speaker 4 (02:30):
Honey, your mouth and eyes are moving again.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Son of a bitch, man.

Speaker 4 (02:33):
Yeah, let's go talk to your doctor.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Yeah, I have. I've really had fun. Oh, don't forget
the hyper shell.

Speaker 4 (02:39):
Don't forget the hyper shell.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
All the fun that I've had with my hyper shell. Meanwhile,
there are people out there with strokes that don't have
their hyper shell.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
He bought an exoskeleton for fun. Meanwhile, the stroke victim
in your neighborhood could have certainly used it. We're walking
the circle time after time.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
Well, after I bought it, I found out the stroke
victim did have a hyper shell. That's why it's so
creepy as far as the awkward karma.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
Thing, man.

Speaker 4 (03:03):
I think you've got to get back to basics, man.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
Did I miss any other karma stuff?

Speaker 4 (03:05):
You've got to start walking up mountains on your own.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (03:08):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (03:09):
I'm not touching the hyper shell, man. I'm going to
save that until I really need it.

Speaker 4 (03:12):
Put down the Esposito and pick some wheatgrass, bro. I
can't do anything with this right hand, y'all.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
It sucks, man. A lot of empathy for people that
can't do that, though. I'm hoping mine comes back.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Podcasts can't do what we just did.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
No, cannot do it.

Speaker 4 (03:25):
That's just live reality in your face. It's not even sexy.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
No, it's unsexy as hell.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
I don't even know if it helps ratings.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
Probably not.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
If you're out there and you want to be a
part of the Dead Hand team, just get at me.