January 30, 2026 • 19 mins
We all have different sex lives on The Show but we wondered what an average sex life was like. We found a study that broke it down for us but it quickly turned into a breakdown of Sky's sex marathons with her husband that we just can't believe!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Emily will have a physical reaction. When we talk about
the length of time for Sky's sex sessions, it will
go on for hours.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
It's like insane.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Well, it doesn't make it never makes sense because this
chick right here, it doesn't enjoy sex. She would rather
just be a quick bang session, be done in two minutes.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
You'd be thrilled.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Oh yeah, but this is hours long process of you
gotta go in the jacuzzie, we gotta get you drunk,
and then there's like massages going on. Then there's outfit
changes and sometimes there's waking you up, and then I
mean it's like, I mean.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
We're talking hours sometime.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Why so, I don't know if Sky is more on
the tip of things or not. But we have a
study here that's breaking down the length of sex sessions
for the average American.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
We ain't done yet.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
It's time for the podcast a.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Year completely uncensored and unacting, filtered except for that part the.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Show's after show starts.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Now, Yeah, Emily, sex is this thing that men and
women do when they love each other.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Sometimes not, sometimes it's more likely not sometimes not.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yeah, it's a thing that's something Yeah, they do with
their bodies. It's been a while for you, So I'm
trying to explain how this works.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Do you remember I kind of do? It's yeah, it's
been a while.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yeah, it's fun. You know, sex can be fun. Okay, Yeah,
but I mean, what insane pervert would want that to
go on longer than fifteen minutes.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yeah, that's a pretty good length of time. Fifteen minutes.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Think about that, like that is that's a good amount
of time.
Speaker 5 (01:59):
That's a perfect run.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
You're really into it and it's going well, or.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Maybe you're you know, maybe you're a two minute man.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
I don't know if I don't know how you're playing it
at me, because I mean, that's your words.
Speaker 5 (02:07):
I mean I joking, you got up to three, you know,
I joke.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
It was a joke.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
I don't do the water breaks really anymore. I was
a younger thing. I was out of shape.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Right now, I'm not in the best shape of my life,
so I probably would need a water break. I don't
remember what sex was like.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Yeah, I have it. It's gonna come around at some point,
right I don't know.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
My wife got pregnant in February of last year, so
we're coming on a year we've had sex like, I
don't wish it's not like three times okay last year.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
But she had a rough pregnancy. Yeah, has been hard.
So it's not her fault.
Speaker 6 (02:44):
I know.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
I was never into the pregnant sex. It would always
kind of creep me really and weird me out. You know,
as a man, you think I'm gonna I'm gonna hurt
the baby there totally. It was a massive concerns guys.
So yeah, we would always creep me out. I couldn't perform.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Because you see all those babies walk around with dents
in their heads.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Well they got hair now, but and it covers it up. Okay,
guy's hung So yeah, I get that. And then you
get to post the post part pregnancy stuff and then
they their bodies aren't bouncing.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Back like they're supposed to fuel.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Right, Yeah, so it's like it's it's it's totally fine
like this stuff.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Yeah, come on, and I get it.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
And she didn't like I'm tired, and she doesn't like.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
She doesn't like I can still do it.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
I'm a big titty man.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Oh yeah, you know I like to oil those puppies.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Yeah, puppies now they're milkers.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Yeah, she doesn't like thinking of her breast being sexual
right now?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Oh really, yeah she.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Does not, so that's another thing. It's just we're just
it's just gonna take some time.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
So I'm disappointed Eddie's face.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Well, you know they're milk jugs. Now, they're huge. Oh's
all right.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
I would love to oil these puppies up.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Picture.
Speaker 5 (04:04):
No, I have no.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Appropriately.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
I don't know what he means, you do, I don't
know what he means.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
Just say I have to pump because I'd rather not
pump because there's so.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Big it hurts. Oh really, they get like overly.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Full, like they really have something happened to They get
like hard.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Oh yeah about.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
That milk chick.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Okay, Eddie, I don't know, but but no, I just
want to oil him up.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
And Scott was an producer, such big tities.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Sky Oh yeah, you couldn't even big fire hose in
your face.
Speaker 5 (04:37):
Did your husband like that?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
The fire hose in the face. I could see him
like it.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
I could see him like squeez like shower, yeah, like
and he looks like Chris Farley or something.
Speaker 6 (04:49):
Yeah, cans are off or something.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
He probably wanted to even when you know, when you've
disgusted Eddie you've got to what he probably wanted to,
but he never said it. But we were not at
that point of our relationship yet where he let the
freak flag.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
For And also I'm at the point to where I
don't she's gonna she's having you know, she's she's doing
a little bit better. But like, I don't want to
say anything that's going to offend her or bother her,
make her feel beds.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
I've just been avoiding it.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
I don't want I just don't want to make a so,
like everybody, I will do like I've started to do,
an ass grab here and there, here and there.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
A little fire. Yeah, let's see what's going on, little goosey. Yeah,
does do you get a reaction? Not a little bit.
Not the reaction.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
It's it's tough, it's tricky, you know, and so uh,
you know you got to think, Okay, well, what are
what's the good amount of time for people to have sex?
And Emily, you know we were just saying fifteen minutes?
Is that it solid them out?
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (05:58):
Like, I don't know, let's say, because the actual sex
doesn't normally last that long, I don't know, like seven
minutes of for play and then the rest.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Depends what we're dealing with.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Yeah, you're right. So yeah, the fifteen minutes includes four
play like that's the whole session.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
That wouldn't be bad.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Okay, sure, because you know me.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Yeah, you have no concept to time.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Yeah, when you have sex, it's like inception, Like where
am I?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
I don't know what is that it's going on?
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Yeah, yeah, I think that's he says. Good after after
a certain amount of time, I am, I'm over it,
and then I start stressing that I can't. I'm like,
I gotta get this over with, Like I'm bored, going
to get in my.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Head if what's late?
Speaker 4 (06:39):
I want to watch TV and we've been minutes, it's
time to get Oh, I can't do this anymore.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
You know, like these these.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Porns, they lie to you. No one's enjoying it for
that that much, for that long.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Okay, baby, you gotta strap something month. I gotta finish here.
Let's go, let's go.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
Take a d put it somewhere.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Wait, what that's how I finish? Okay? I thought you
like when something touches your nipple?
Speaker 5 (07:05):
Yes, I do like that.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
One of them is dead, the one let Nippley.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Grab my left nipple and looking here somewhere.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Maybe okay, get.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
A little rough, get a little rough.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
She just slapped you in the middle of sex. I
don't like you know, I'm a bitch, Okay, I don't
like that. Good enough, good good enough?
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Yeah, like a purple nurple noted and a finger somewhere.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
Then then it's ending.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Again, I want to gets it? Does she don't know
that she does?
Speaker 2 (07:45):
I just thinking about slapping you and calling you a bit.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
That would not depends on who it is. I might
be into that.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
The other hand, he loves crazy bitches.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Slapping around.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
All right, Fuck it, all right, stupid listen?
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Oh god, So what is an average bang sash for
normal people? We're clearly not in the normal okay, so
what are we looking at here?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Well, they survey thousands of US adults, and it turns
out that as far as how much sex you're having,
there's like only four different groups. If you're in a couple,
A quarter of us do it once a month, a
quarter of us do it twice a month, A quarter
of us say around five times a month, and then
a quarter of us say eight times or more a month.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
I don't think I'm in any of those categories because
I'm four. I would say four times a month, it's
like once a week. If if it goes past once
a week, I get the grumpiesumpies. Yeah, oh no, And
she knows it too, she's all right, get in the room,
all right, I see you've been a dick. Alright, I
know what's up. Sorry, I gotta get it out.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Get that sickness size. I mean, yeah, get out of me.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
That's where he lives.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Oh yeah, that's the Catholic talking.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
It's not good.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
But with that being said, most of us are happy
with our sex life. Seventy percent say yeah, I'm satisfied.
What we're doing works good. So they also asked all
these people the average session time, and then they averaged
it out to let us know.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
No joke, if you would taking an average session for
you and the boot, yes, give me a give me
a number, give me a length of time.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Gosh, because as you guys know, which is weird to
say to coworkers, our sex routine has changed quite a
bit over the years, where honestly, when we were at
the height of like Saturday nights, I'm talking like three
fucking hours. You guys, dude, I'm talking like crazy ship
(10:01):
three hours. Yeah, to the point where ecstasy. No, that's
the only time I think I've had sex that long.
When I took ecstasy. It's amazing. But like you're like,
because you're you're you're weird, You're not in your right mind.
But yeah, so weird. Yeah, so and and again, like
this is the whole thing, not just intercourse. This is
the whole, Like you say, massages and speech, Yeah, I
(10:25):
just chat GPT what what work?
Speaker 4 (10:29):
By the way, is it bad having an Is it
bad if my average sex time is three hours?
Speaker 5 (10:34):
And they and.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Chatt says you could be feeling numb, disconnected, or sore.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
I think that means three hours. Of course, I'm assuming that's.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
What described discribed. Yeah, you're definitely numb.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
And so going on, Yeah, okay, so that was like
at the height, I would see hours. Yeah, it's fucking crazy,
crazy to bed.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
That's you could watch the full you can start Avengers
and War and finish it.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
Guy and Sky.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Was yeah, unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
So now I feel like it's settled down a little
bit right, And I definitely do believe what Thor kind
of said that, like my husband watches so much Poor
Now that he thinks like this is normal, Like it's
supposed to be a three fucking ring.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Let's say Loveland's gone for the night. It's a Saturday night,
it's just you and the hub. What's gonna go down
that night?
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Uh house to the cell house, to ourselves. Cocktails will
be made.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
We will then go in the spa. We're going to
hang out. We're gonna talk sexy stuff like real estate
and finances, other ways to inflict pain. It depends how
special of an it is you guys. No, No, I
(12:04):
don't there. I don't penetrate places. That's yeah, I haven't.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
No, I'm not the penetrator of the relationships. Yeah, sorry,
I'm sorry. That's one thing that's.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
A little boring.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I'm not mature enough for that. So we'll be in
the spot talking for you know, music, sex. This isn't sex,
This is foreplay. No it is.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
You're just sitting in a spot.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
She's naked though, and she's like, so I'm either naked
or I'm in like some sort of lingerie outfit in
the sport spot. Not a bikini, but lingerie.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
That's not true, you've never worn lingerie in the in
the spot because that would be downright fucking psychotic.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Would lingerie is not meant to be wet?
Speaker 3 (12:49):
I mean, why is that weird?
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Vagina?
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Okay, come on, be serious. You don't really wearingerie in
the spot.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I have. I've worn my weird a thong and some like, uh,
you know what are they called when it's cut out
the boog list?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Yeah, that's so fucking weird.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I never basically like.
Speaker 5 (13:10):
Never sees you sky.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
If if my wife wears which she does, like it's
for sex, it's in the bedroom for sex only, like
she comes out sex. I can't imagine like time, No,
I can't imagine like having a full on conversation about
like finances.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
While she's wearing.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
That in But if I'm not wearing that, I'm like
naked and we're having a full blown conversation, like looking
at somebody naked and the jacuzzie does weird weird at all?
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Not weird.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
If you're wearing the laingerie, it's only for one thing.
I can't have a convers if you're having a full
on conversation, I'd be like, hey, can you like.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
Put a robe on?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Not all tomorrow, not all it comes out. I want
to talk to you about your walk around.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
His doctor's point, why you wear, why you're nipples out?
Speaker 3 (14:03):
What's wrong?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Pro record, not all lingerie works in the spat Okay, okay, okay,
I mean what there is so weird. I know what
you're saying.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Honestly, No, that's no it does.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
You haven't done it. I have. I'm speaking from experience.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
I know what clothes our sky like. Clothes don't meant
that are meant to be in the spa, They're.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Not meant to be. But underwear is very much like
a bikini. So I don't know why we're being all proved.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Because it's so hard.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
It has nothing reviews with being like uncomfortable from the
sexualness of it is to do with just basic common
sense that you don't wear stuff.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Like that in a spa.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
So a guy's never gone into a pool in his box.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
I don't do that. I know, doors said he wears
he goes underwear, but like sexy, yeah and that, And
there's a difference.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
He's saying. It's not about sexy. He's just saying they're
not meant to go in the water. Sometimes we go
in the water in things that are bathing.
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Will you ever wear your Hanes?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
I don't think anyone would appreciate my full bottom Hanes
in the bro I just can't imagine because you're not caught.
I can't imagine being in my backyard in lauderie. Yeah,
that'd be weird. But have you ever been in your
kitchen and launderie?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
I don't Why would you? Why would you make? You're
cooking a steak.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Is so weird?
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Mans cooking her veggie meat loaf andreet the blackstone?
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Get in your board though? Want this cooked?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
You guys, this is supposed to be a non judgmental place.
You can't be more wrong. So true again, okay again.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Every time I think I know everything about you, you
give us these nuggets that are so crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I honestly thought you guys knew this wropped like okay?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
And then I get in the spa with my laie.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Yeah, excuse me, little teddy in there? What what's up?
It's like a pall one piece you know?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Okay, could I get question?
Speaker 3 (16:17):
I don't remember what I asked?
Speaker 2 (16:19):
How long?
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Okay? Saturday night conversation? Yes, crazy, I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
So we go in the spa. I'm wearing whatever I'm wearing,
and then what music?
Speaker 3 (16:33):
And then what music?
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Yeah, we got the Bluetooth speaker on outside, yeah, outside
in the spot. And then once we're in the spot
for probably a good half hour, you're not at that
point such like I don't even get pruney anymore because
I soak in water so much. It's weird, it's pretty crazy.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
So yes, Kevin cost and water World.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Gilts the Mariner.
Speaker 6 (16:56):
Yeah, yeah, wow.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Thanks, that was deep about smokers.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Okay, sorry, So then it starts to get sexual, like, okay,
we're gonna inside, We're gonna start touching in the spotlopping around,
feetter wandering, hands are wandering, and.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
There's probably gonna but there's no kissing.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
No, there's never kissing. And understand how you warm up
without kissing? Did you not hear hands and feet.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Make it out and touching and doing that.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
That's what you do, right with hands and feet. No kissing,
no kiss no mouth no no mouth mouth out personal
to personal, personally, my business all too personal. No kissing
on the mouse. So we got about twenty minutes of
that and we moved. Wait twenty minutes, Yeah, and then
and then at some point I'll be like, hey, we
(17:46):
should probably move this inside, and then we move it into.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Drunk at this point o fuck yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Oh yeah, so fucking drunk, and then we move it inside.
I stumble inside, and then there's probably gonna be another
good thirty minutes of foreplay.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Is this where the massage happened for like an hour?
Speaker 6 (18:06):
We're now we're in already, Yeah, yeah, there's gonna be
han't even mouths wandering? You sve the wet launch that
mouth going wanders wonder.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Why why is your mouth in the office? Get over
what the hell's going on?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Doesn't wander outside?
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Is going on?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
It wanders around the body?
Speaker 3 (18:25):
This is wild, alright? Is he wondering? Like why why
is the bet all wet clothes?
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Okay, take the clothes off, no life, taken them off? Okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Art is that when like stuff.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Wet, nows are wet. I take all the wet stuff
off outside and then I go in your hair up.
Speaker 4 (18:46):
Oh yeah, you don't have the lingerie on inside?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
No, what's the point.
Speaker 6 (18:51):
It's soaking wet from fun put.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
It too, like you know you have the towel hooks
you're hanging it on the towel. This is crazy. Now
you put that outside on the lounger chair, Like, what.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
If somebody comes in, don't you have like a gardener
walk in.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
No, it's fine, it's going to see it. No, it's
good to see it. So, yeah, about a half hour
warm up once we get inside, and then probably about
a half hour of the actual act of intercourse and
then we done. Thanks over two hours, uh, the whole process,
but actually being sexual was probably like an hour and
(19:35):
a half of that because we had to have the
real estate.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
So you're in a lodgery, you're in Lune, but I'm.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
In Lauderie talking about state. Yeah, doctor Seuss, just hearing
that crazy ten millions.
Speaker 5 (19:48):
Just hearing that story. I'm exhausted, i can't and.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
I'm dead limp fakes, No fakes,
Emily will have a physical reaction. When we talk about
the length of time for Sky's sex sessions, it will
go on for hours.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
It's like insane.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Well, it doesn't make it never makes sense because this
chick right here, it doesn't enjoy sex. She would rather
just be a quick bang session, be done in two minutes.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
You'd be thrilled.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Oh yeah, but this is hours long process of you
gotta go in the jacuzzie, we gotta get you drunk,
and then there's like massages going on. Then there's outfit
changes and sometimes there's waking you up, and then I
mean it's like, I mean.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
We're talking hours sometime.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Why so, I don't know if Sky is more on
the tip of things or not. But we have a
study here that's breaking down the length of sex sessions
for the average American.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
We ain't done yet.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
It's time for the podcast a.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Year completely uncensored and unacting, filtered except for that part the.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Show's after show starts.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Now, Yeah, Emily, sex is this thing that men and
women do when they love each other.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Sometimes not, sometimes it's more likely not sometimes not.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yeah, it's a thing that's something Yeah, they do with
their bodies. It's been a while for you, So I'm
trying to explain how this works.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Do you remember I kind of do? It's yeah, it's
been a while.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yeah, it's fun. You know, sex can be fun. Okay, Yeah,
but I mean, what insane pervert would want that to
go on longer than fifteen minutes.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yeah, that's a pretty good length of time. Fifteen minutes.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Think about that, like that is that's a good amount
of time.
Speaker 5 (01:59):
That's a perfect run.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
You're really into it and it's going well, or.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Maybe you're you know, maybe you're a two minute man.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
I don't know if I don't know how you're playing it
at me, because I mean, that's your words.
Speaker 5 (02:07):
I mean I joking, you got up to three, you know,
I joke.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
It was a joke.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
I don't do the water breaks really anymore. I was
a younger thing. I was out of shape.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Right now, I'm not in the best shape of my life,
so I probably would need a water break. I don't
remember what sex was like.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Yeah, I have it. It's gonna come around at some point,
right I don't know.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
My wife got pregnant in February of last year, so
we're coming on a year we've had sex like, I
don't wish it's not like three times okay last year.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
But she had a rough pregnancy. Yeah, has been hard.
So it's not her fault.
Speaker 6 (02:44):
I know.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
I was never into the pregnant sex. It would always
kind of creep me really and weird me out. You know,
as a man, you think I'm gonna I'm gonna hurt
the baby there totally. It was a massive concerns guys.
So yeah, we would always creep me out. I couldn't perform.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Because you see all those babies walk around with dents
in their heads.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Well they got hair now, but and it covers it up. Okay,
guy's hung So yeah, I get that. And then you
get to post the post part pregnancy stuff and then
they their bodies aren't bouncing.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Back like they're supposed to fuel.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Right, Yeah, so it's like it's it's it's totally fine
like this stuff.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Yeah, come on, and I get it.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
And she didn't like I'm tired, and she doesn't like.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
She doesn't like I can still do it.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
I'm a big titty man.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Oh yeah, you know I like to oil those puppies.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Yeah, puppies now they're milkers.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Yeah, she doesn't like thinking of her breast being sexual
right now?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Oh really, yeah she.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Does not, so that's another thing. It's just we're just
it's just gonna take some time.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
So I'm disappointed Eddie's face.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Well, you know they're milk jugs. Now, they're huge. Oh's
all right.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
I would love to oil these puppies up.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Picture.
Speaker 5 (04:04):
No, I have no.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Appropriately.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
I don't know what he means, you do, I don't
know what he means.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
Just say I have to pump because I'd rather not
pump because there's so.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Big it hurts. Oh really, they get like overly.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Full, like they really have something happened to They get
like hard.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Oh yeah about.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
That milk chick.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Okay, Eddie, I don't know, but but no, I just
want to oil him up.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
And Scott was an producer, such big tities.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Sky Oh yeah, you couldn't even big fire hose in
your face.
Speaker 5 (04:37):
Did your husband like that?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
The fire hose in the face. I could see him
like it.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
I could see him like squeez like shower, yeah, like
and he looks like Chris Farley or something.
Speaker 6 (04:49):
Yeah, cans are off or something.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
He probably wanted to even when you know, when you've
disgusted Eddie you've got to what he probably wanted to,
but he never said it. But we were not at
that point of our relationship yet where he let the
freak flag.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
For And also I'm at the point to where I
don't she's gonna she's having you know, she's she's doing
a little bit better. But like, I don't want to
say anything that's going to offend her or bother her,
make her feel beds.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
I've just been avoiding it.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
I don't want I just don't want to make a so,
like everybody, I will do like I've started to do,
an ass grab here and there, here and there.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
A little fire. Yeah, let's see what's going on, little goosey. Yeah,
does do you get a reaction? Not a little bit.
Not the reaction.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
It's it's tough, it's tricky, you know, and so uh,
you know you got to think, Okay, well, what are
what's the good amount of time for people to have sex?
And Emily, you know we were just saying fifteen minutes?
Is that it solid them out?
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (05:58):
Like, I don't know, let's say, because the actual sex
doesn't normally last that long, I don't know, like seven
minutes of for play and then the rest.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Depends what we're dealing with.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Yeah, you're right. So yeah, the fifteen minutes includes four
play like that's the whole session.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
That wouldn't be bad.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Okay, sure, because you know me.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Yeah, you have no concept to time.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Yeah, when you have sex, it's like inception, Like where
am I?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
I don't know what is that it's going on?
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Yeah, yeah, I think that's he says. Good after after
a certain amount of time, I am, I'm over it,
and then I start stressing that I can't. I'm like,
I gotta get this over with, Like I'm bored, going
to get in my.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Head if what's late?
Speaker 4 (06:39):
I want to watch TV and we've been minutes, it's
time to get Oh, I can't do this anymore.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
You know, like these these.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Porns, they lie to you. No one's enjoying it for
that that much, for that long.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Okay, baby, you gotta strap something month. I gotta finish here.
Let's go, let's go.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
Take a d put it somewhere.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Wait, what that's how I finish? Okay? I thought you
like when something touches your nipple?
Speaker 5 (07:05):
Yes, I do like that.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
One of them is dead, the one let Nippley.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Grab my left nipple and looking here somewhere.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Maybe okay, get.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
A little rough, get a little rough.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
She just slapped you in the middle of sex. I
don't like you know, I'm a bitch, Okay, I don't
like that. Good enough, good good enough?
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Yeah, like a purple nurple noted and a finger somewhere.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
Then then it's ending.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Again, I want to gets it? Does she don't know
that she does?
Speaker 2 (07:45):
I just thinking about slapping you and calling you a bit.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
That would not depends on who it is. I might
be into that.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
The other hand, he loves crazy bitches.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Slapping around.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
All right, Fuck it, all right, stupid listen?
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Oh god, So what is an average bang sash for
normal people? We're clearly not in the normal okay, so
what are we looking at here?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Well, they survey thousands of US adults, and it turns
out that as far as how much sex you're having,
there's like only four different groups. If you're in a couple,
A quarter of us do it once a month, a
quarter of us do it twice a month, A quarter
of us say around five times a month, and then
a quarter of us say eight times or more a month.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
I don't think I'm in any of those categories because
I'm four. I would say four times a month, it's
like once a week. If if it goes past once
a week, I get the grumpiesumpies. Yeah, oh no, And
she knows it too, she's all right, get in the room,
all right, I see you've been a dick. Alright, I
know what's up. Sorry, I gotta get it out.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Get that sickness size. I mean, yeah, get out of me.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
That's where he lives.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Oh yeah, that's the Catholic talking.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
It's not good.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
But with that being said, most of us are happy
with our sex life. Seventy percent say yeah, I'm satisfied.
What we're doing works good. So they also asked all
these people the average session time, and then they averaged
it out to let us know.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
No joke, if you would taking an average session for
you and the boot, yes, give me a give me
a number, give me a length of time.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Gosh, because as you guys know, which is weird to
say to coworkers, our sex routine has changed quite a
bit over the years, where honestly, when we were at
the height of like Saturday nights, I'm talking like three
fucking hours. You guys, dude, I'm talking like crazy ship
(10:01):
three hours. Yeah, to the point where ecstasy. No, that's
the only time I think I've had sex that long.
When I took ecstasy. It's amazing. But like you're like,
because you're you're you're weird, You're not in your right mind.
But yeah, so weird. Yeah, so and and again, like
this is the whole thing, not just intercourse. This is
the whole, Like you say, massages and speech, Yeah, I
(10:25):
just chat GPT what what work?
Speaker 4 (10:29):
By the way, is it bad having an Is it
bad if my average sex time is three hours?
Speaker 5 (10:34):
And they and.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Chatt says you could be feeling numb, disconnected, or sore.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
I think that means three hours. Of course, I'm assuming that's.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
What described discribed. Yeah, you're definitely numb.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
And so going on, Yeah, okay, so that was like
at the height, I would see hours. Yeah, it's fucking crazy,
crazy to bed.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
That's you could watch the full you can start Avengers
and War and finish it.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
Guy and Sky.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Was yeah, unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
So now I feel like it's settled down a little
bit right, And I definitely do believe what Thor kind
of said that, like my husband watches so much Poor
Now that he thinks like this is normal, Like it's
supposed to be a three fucking ring.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Let's say Loveland's gone for the night. It's a Saturday night,
it's just you and the hub. What's gonna go down
that night?
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Uh house to the cell house, to ourselves. Cocktails will
be made.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
We will then go in the spa. We're going to
hang out. We're gonna talk sexy stuff like real estate
and finances, other ways to inflict pain. It depends how
special of an it is you guys. No, No, I
(12:04):
don't there. I don't penetrate places. That's yeah, I haven't.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
No, I'm not the penetrator of the relationships. Yeah, sorry,
I'm sorry. That's one thing that's.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
A little boring.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I'm not mature enough for that. So we'll be in
the spot talking for you know, music, sex. This isn't sex,
This is foreplay. No it is.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
You're just sitting in a spot.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
She's naked though, and she's like, so I'm either naked
or I'm in like some sort of lingerie outfit in
the sport spot. Not a bikini, but lingerie.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
That's not true, you've never worn lingerie in the in
the spot because that would be downright fucking psychotic.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Would lingerie is not meant to be wet?
Speaker 3 (12:49):
I mean, why is that weird?
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Vagina?
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Okay, come on, be serious. You don't really wearingerie in
the spot.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I have. I've worn my weird a thong and some like, uh,
you know what are they called when it's cut out
the boog list?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Yeah, that's so fucking weird.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I never basically like.
Speaker 5 (13:10):
Never sees you sky.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
If if my wife wears which she does, like it's
for sex, it's in the bedroom for sex only, like
she comes out sex. I can't imagine like time, No,
I can't imagine like having a full on conversation about
like finances.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
While she's wearing.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
That in But if I'm not wearing that, I'm like
naked and we're having a full blown conversation, like looking
at somebody naked and the jacuzzie does weird weird at all?
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Not weird.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
If you're wearing the laingerie, it's only for one thing.
I can't have a convers if you're having a full
on conversation, I'd be like, hey, can you like.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
Put a robe on?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Not all tomorrow, not all it comes out. I want
to talk to you about your walk around.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
His doctor's point, why you wear, why you're nipples out?
Speaker 3 (14:03):
What's wrong?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Pro record, not all lingerie works in the spat Okay, okay, okay,
I mean what there is so weird. I know what
you're saying.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Honestly, No, that's no it does.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
You haven't done it. I have. I'm speaking from experience.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
I know what clothes our sky like. Clothes don't meant
that are meant to be in the spa, They're.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Not meant to be. But underwear is very much like
a bikini. So I don't know why we're being all proved.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Because it's so hard.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
It has nothing reviews with being like uncomfortable from the
sexualness of it is to do with just basic common
sense that you don't wear stuff.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Like that in a spa.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
So a guy's never gone into a pool in his box.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
I don't do that. I know, doors said he wears
he goes underwear, but like sexy, yeah and that, And
there's a difference.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
He's saying. It's not about sexy. He's just saying they're
not meant to go in the water. Sometimes we go
in the water in things that are bathing.
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Will you ever wear your Hanes?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
I don't think anyone would appreciate my full bottom Hanes
in the bro I just can't imagine because you're not caught.
I can't imagine being in my backyard in lauderie. Yeah,
that'd be weird. But have you ever been in your
kitchen and launderie?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
I don't Why would you? Why would you make? You're
cooking a steak.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Is so weird?
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Mans cooking her veggie meat loaf andreet the blackstone?
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Get in your board though? Want this cooked?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
You guys, this is supposed to be a non judgmental place.
You can't be more wrong. So true again, okay again.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Every time I think I know everything about you, you
give us these nuggets that are so crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I honestly thought you guys knew this wropped like okay?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
And then I get in the spa with my laie.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Yeah, excuse me, little teddy in there? What what's up?
It's like a pall one piece you know?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Okay, could I get question?
Speaker 3 (16:17):
I don't remember what I asked?
Speaker 2 (16:19):
How long?
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Okay? Saturday night conversation? Yes, crazy, I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
So we go in the spa. I'm wearing whatever I'm wearing,
and then what music?
Speaker 3 (16:33):
And then what music?
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Yeah, we got the Bluetooth speaker on outside, yeah, outside
in the spot. And then once we're in the spot
for probably a good half hour, you're not at that
point such like I don't even get pruney anymore because
I soak in water so much. It's weird, it's pretty crazy.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
So yes, Kevin cost and water World.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Gilts the Mariner.
Speaker 6 (16:56):
Yeah, yeah, wow.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Thanks, that was deep about smokers.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Okay, sorry, So then it starts to get sexual, like, okay,
we're gonna inside, We're gonna start touching in the spotlopping around,
feetter wandering, hands are wandering, and.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
There's probably gonna but there's no kissing.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
No, there's never kissing. And understand how you warm up
without kissing? Did you not hear hands and feet.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Make it out and touching and doing that.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
That's what you do, right with hands and feet. No kissing,
no kiss no mouth no no mouth mouth out personal
to personal, personally, my business all too personal. No kissing
on the mouse. So we got about twenty minutes of
that and we moved. Wait twenty minutes, Yeah, and then
and then at some point I'll be like, hey, we
(17:46):
should probably move this inside, and then we move it into.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Drunk at this point o fuck yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Oh yeah, so fucking drunk, and then we move it inside.
I stumble inside, and then there's probably gonna be another
good thirty minutes of foreplay.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Is this where the massage happened for like an hour?
Speaker 6 (18:06):
We're now we're in already, Yeah, yeah, there's gonna be
han't even mouths wandering? You sve the wet launch that
mouth going wanders wonder.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Why why is your mouth in the office? Get over
what the hell's going on?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Doesn't wander outside?
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Is going on?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
It wanders around the body?
Speaker 3 (18:25):
This is wild, alright? Is he wondering? Like why why
is the bet all wet clothes?
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Okay, take the clothes off, no life, taken them off? Okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Art is that when like stuff.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Wet, nows are wet. I take all the wet stuff
off outside and then I go in your hair up.
Speaker 4 (18:46):
Oh yeah, you don't have the lingerie on inside?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
No, what's the point.
Speaker 6 (18:51):
It's soaking wet from fun put.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
It too, like you know you have the towel hooks
you're hanging it on the towel. This is crazy. Now
you put that outside on the lounger chair, Like, what.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
If somebody comes in, don't you have like a gardener
walk in.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
No, it's fine, it's going to see it. No, it's
good to see it. So, yeah, about a half hour
warm up once we get inside, and then probably about
a half hour of the actual act of intercourse and
then we done. Thanks over two hours, uh, the whole process,
but actually being sexual was probably like an hour and
(19:35):
a half of that because we had to have the
real estate.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
So you're in a lodgery, you're in Lune, but I'm.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
In Lauderie talking about state. Yeah, doctor Seuss, just hearing
that crazy ten millions.
Speaker 5 (19:48):
Just hearing that story. I'm exhausted, i can't and.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
I'm dead limp fakes, No fakes,
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